#difficulty walking?

[inkskinned]

you wanted to be a good friend, because you loved your friends, but the truth was that everyone else somehow had a pamphlet on being normal that you never received. most of the time you learn by trial-and-error. you are terrified of the next big mistake you make, because it seems like the rules are completely arbitrary.

you've learned to keep the prickly parts of your personality in a stormcloud under your bed - as if they're a second version of you; one that will make your friends hate you. it feels feral, burning, ugly.

instead, you have assembled habits based on the statistical likelihood of pleasing others. you're a good listener, which is to say - if you do speak up, you might end up saying the wrong thing and scaring off someone, but people tend to like someone-who-listens. or you've got no true desires or goals, because people like it when you're passive, mutable. you're "not easy to fluster" which is to say - your emotions are fundamentally uninteresting to others around you; so you've learned to control them to a degree that you can no longer really feel them happening.

you have long suspected something is wrong with you, but most of the time, googling doesn't help. you are so-used to helping-yourself, alone and with no handbook. the reek of your real self feels more like a horrible joke - you wake up, and, despite all your preparations, suddenly the whole house is full of smoke. the real you is someone waiting to ruin your other-life, the one where you're normal and happy. the real-self is unpredictable, angry.

your real self snarls when people infantilize the whole situation. because if you were really suffering, everyone seems to think you'd be completely unable to cope. but you already learned the rules, so you do know how to cope, and you have fucking been coping. it's not black-and-white. it's not that you are healed during the other times - it's just that you're able to fucking try. and honestly, whenever you show symptoms, it's a really fucking bad sign.

because the symptoms you have are ugly and unmanageable for others. your symptoms aren't waifish white girl things. they're annoying and complicated. they will be the subject of so many pretentious instagram reels. if they cared about you, they'd just show up on time. you care, a lot, so deeply it burns you. you like to picture a world where the comments read if they loved you, they'd never need glasses to see. but since that's a rule you've seen repeated - "one must never be late or you are a bad friend" - you constantly worry about being late and leave agonizingly early. there are no words for how you feel when you're still late; no matter how hard you were trying.

so you have to make up for it. you have to make up for that little horrible real you that you keep locked in a cabinet. you are bad at answering emails so every project you make has to be perfect. you are weird and sensitive so you have to learn to be funny and interesting. you are an inconvenience to others, so you become as smooth as possible, buffing out all the rough parts.

all this. all this. so people can pass their hands over you and just tell you just the once -how good you are. you're a good friend. you're loveable.

[whatsorryiwasntlistening]

I did some little drawings of Plug and the Cannon from Rolling with Difficulty (a dnd podcast you should definitely check out). I just love these little guys. I’m gonna do more.

@incorrectrwdquotes @comicaurora

[downfalldestiny]

Remember Allah 🤲 !.

[kajoita-kai]

the prompts I managed to finish for @the-things-and-other-things’s amazing rwd artober prompt list.

These were so fun to make! I got to try a lot of stuff I wouldn’t usually draw

[callaeidae3]

Resharing some old art of mine - Shiro helping Keith walk away from the crater edge, in an alternate ending of VLD Season 8 Ep. 5

I enjoyed drawing this in this art style ~

[İmage description/ In a digital art painting, a young man with black hair and a scar on his right cheek (Keith) is being helped to walk.

Keith has one arm slung over the shoulders of the person next to him. The other person (Shiro) is clad in a full protective space suit. Keith is in only his space undersuit, without his armour or helmet, leaving him more exposed and vulnerable to the environmental conditions.

Shiro is grasping Keith's forearm that's over his shoulders. Shiro's Altean arm is around Keith's shoulders, supporting him, guiding him, keeping him steady. Leading him away from the volcano crater, and the bright orange lava that illuminates the crater rim behind them.

Shiro looks at him, concerned, as Keith coughs on chemically potent volcanic air and the aftermath of being strangled mid-air... /end description ]

[cryptcatz]

i hate that when i ask for help with things (often technology related) i get mocked. for not understanding the “obvious”. “but it’s literally so easy!” they say, as if that will suddenly make it easy to my brain. this is often from people on help forums etc., often people literally offering help to troubleshoot things. just because im “slow” and have difficulty learning things that means i don’t deserve just the smallest amount of patience?

i know it’s amusing when people ask “obvious” or “dumb” questions, but please consider biting your tongue and actually kindly answering them instead of making fun of them or getting angry.

[albatris]

*lying on my bed giggling and kicking my legs and doodling hearts in a notebook around text that just says "being able to afford a fucking wheelchair"*

[queerstudiesnatural]

truly channeling faith!dean rn with my grey hoodie and dying man complexion <3

[auncyen]

the weirdest hades glitch of having the music from Persephone's cottage follow Zagreus into Hades' house

I am counting that as weirder than Aphrodite talking without a portrait or Zagreus/Hades/Theseus doing slippery slides across the battlefield (Zagreus' was after a finishing blow in a boss battle which made it really cool lol)

the music glitch seemed kind of appropriate in its own way but...yeah, huh.

[fourfuckinghorsemen]

You doing ok?

Honestly? I don't know. I thought I was doing okay, but clearly I'm not if I'm struggling this much. Then again, I think yesterday was the result of something triggering me, so I might be better today. Who knows.

[ggukkieland]

😭💜

babie did so well 🥺 src

[anthonyed]

so i was on my way to clock out when a woman called out for me "hi doctor, recognize us?" and she was standing beside a man presumably her husband in wheelchair and tbh i don't recognize them, i barely do most of my patients but i've learnt to accept their recognition long ago cause they feel comforted that way and eventually i'll come to remember them anyway.

I asked them why they're here, in the hospital again and she told me her husband got admitted for covid with months of intubation and another month recovering and finally today they got to go home and she looked at her husband and asked, "do you recognize this doctor, love? she was the only one capable of taking your blood and fixing your iv lines when you were here the last time." and i swear i was like wha- hahahha cause it was so amusing to get recognized that way cause for me, it was such a simple task but for them, they must have been terribly desperate with all the multiple pokings to remember me after so long

[mystifiedmess]

nothing is more glam than saree

choti diwali celebrations, 2022.

[myrfing]

code vein er had a very uncompelling story in general that suffered from anime genericness but. it's fun the setting is fun and bell peepy and io are taking a nap togeddur

[vortaneon]

Detective Bear is fantastic! Though... if their a furry... what’s up with the totally normal pigeon. Shouldn’t they be anthro too?

pigeons are an otherworldly force beyond our comprehension

but if you want a pigeon with long legs i can oblige! i hope this satisfies

[knights-in-whumperland]

My Roommate Is A Gumiho: Episode 13