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#do not pursue happiness
yeslordmyking · 2 years
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Suffering makes you closer to God and the person He intended for you to be when He created you. It's time to love and embrace the pain and suffering we are naturally wired to hate and avoid.
I love sadness, pain, and suffering, because I know that God is changing me for the better, even if I can never be myself or love what I love ever again.
Let her die. Do not mourn her.
Thank you God for this heartbreak.
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kawaiichibiart · 4 months
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Hello, yes, I need more cards where the characters interact with their younger selves.
I want more of this please:
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blended-ice · 2 months
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some self indulgent orientation head canons
flags from left to right:
Aplatonic (yurio)
Aroace (yurio)
Apothiaroace (otabek)
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jtl-fics · 1 year
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Fluent Freshman - Part 30
PREVIOUS
Ichirou Moriyama had long been someone Riko had spoken about and therefore someone Kevin knew of.
First reverently as he talked about how someday his brother would come for him and how he’d watch Riko’s games. Then Ichirou never showed up once and the anger set in and mentions of his brother would result in especially bad days.
Kevin’s only saving grace at the Nest near the end was that Ichirou had been as uninterested in him as he was in Riko.
Neil was the one who had handled any communications with the new Master of the Moriyama family and Kevin was grateful for that. His stomach still twists when he found out what it would cost him to have the closest thing he would ever really have to freedom since his mom’s car accident but Kevin could hardly fault Neil since Kevin has no idea if he would have been able to even open his mouth and speak to negotiate with Ichirou. He certainly wouldn’t have thought to bargain for Neil and Jean’s lives.
So he was going to make sure the Neil had the best possible chances to get on a great team not just because he had every faith that Neil could be on the national court but also Kevin wanted him on the national court. Neil was his partner and his friend.
This was his last year that he could help as directly as this so he and Neil were still putting in the hours in their evening practices. It was also the last year that Neil could rely on him to assist in getting everyone up to snuff.
Ichirou Moriyama was going to be stopping by at some point and Kevin had decided that the best way to handle this information was to focus on something life affirming.
“I’m just saying it isn’t an unknown flavor combination.” Kevin argues.
“Kevin there is something very different about vanilla protein powder in chicken stock and Chicken and Waffles.” Aaron says from his spot behind Kevin in Wymack’s car.
“There shouldn’t be! It’s all the same flavors, just liquid!” Kevin turns in his seat to point at Aaron, “You should put on your seatbelt, what if Wymack crashes?” He says for the third time since the car ride had begun.
“That’s my problem, not yours.” Aaron says and his eyes have been locked on the roof of the car since the car ride began which was rude but Kevin had learned to expect nothing less from a Minyard.
“It will be my problem when your corpse breaks my neck as you fly forward!” Kevin hisses.
“Coach, could you do me a favor-“
“I’m not going to crash the car.” Wymack interrupts eyes on the road and hands at 10 and 2.
“God forbid you do something nice for me.” Aaron gripes crossing his arms.
Kevin decides to change his target.
“Coach-“
“Kevin, you’re not putting any protein powder into Smith’s soup. That’s final. Do you want to mess up his Grandma’s hard work to follow the Doctor’s recipe exactly?” Wymack asks.
No.
No Kevin does not wish to mess up Grandma Smith’s hard work.
He just…
A Food pyramid flashes in his mind.
…thinks he knows more than the hospital dietician.
“It’s not that Smith’s Grandma made bad soup.” Kevin says because the woman was a talent in the kitchen even if she might use a bit too much butter. He’d let her know but Nicky refused to translate and she’d smiled so warmly at him and touched his face so gently… “I think she was led astray by bad science and Nicky wouldn’t translate for me.” He says, “If she understood English she would have understood and agreed with me.” He says because he did manage to get her finely chop a bunch of carrots to put into the pasta sauce so that Neil would get some veggies.
She was a reasonable woman who understood the importance of good nutrition.
“I don’t know about that.” Coach says and Kevin wonders what he means by that.
They’re close behind Andrew’s car and Kevin can see two parking spots next to one another near the front except Andrew pulls into the spots in a way that means it is almost impossible for anyone to get into the second spot unless they owned a tiny smart car.
Andrew often parks like that to make sure no one dings the Maserati.
“That little shit.” Wymack grumbles as he continues to drive.
“Aren’t you going to let us out at the entrance?” Kevin asks.
“Who am I, your driver?” Wymack grumbles and does not slow down to let them out  at the hospital entrance. “You’ve been bitching about not getting enough exercise and eating too much fat this weekend, consider this just some of the exercise you’ve been wanting.” He says.
Kevin leans back in the chair.
He does NOT pout. He merely frowns with his lips puffed out and feels as if he has been treated unfairly.
He uses this time wisely.
He thinks about Neil and Andrew’s ‘secret’ conversation.
Kevin still doesn’t know Russian, has no plans to learn it because he does not want to know 80% of what Neil and Andrew say to one another, but Kevin has always been great at understanding tone and it’s not that hard to understand that they were talking about FF when he ‘Kapitan Neil’.
He thinks about what might stress Neil out about FF (never once does he consider that FF being in the hospital with a stab wound may be the thing that stresses Neil out, not when there’s an explanation that involves Exy).
FF might choose to leave.
That would not bode well for Neil.
Kevin has already signed but Neil needs the next few years still to make sure he can follow through on his deal with Ichirou.
FF is a great defensive dealer.
Kevin still doesn’t really understand how he can seemingly just appear on the Court to intercept passes but Kevin has been informed that all of his plans to figure it out are ‘medically unethical’ and ‘likely to get him thrown in prison’.
Nicky patting his face pityingly and saying, “Your face is too pretty for prison.” had been when he stopped looking at how he could buy electrodes.
His follow-up search to find out that no prison in the United States currently had an Exy court as a facility had him drop the outline of his research into his recycle bin and right click to delete permanently.
Since Kevin cannot find a way to replicate that particular talent of FF’s then they just need FF to stay.
He also quite likes the steady freshman. He’s probably not ever going to be National Court level like he and Neil are, but he would be a solid Dealer on a good team. Kevin wouldn’t even mind playing with him professionally.
They park the car far in the back of the lot and Wymack grumbles at a different nice car that is taking up two spots. Kevin climbs out of the car and they start their way towards the hospital.
Kevin considers jogging in circles around Aaron and Wymack as they walk just to burn off more of the lunch they’d just had but decides against it.
Maybe a different nutritionist will be on staff today and will be able to back Kevin up on his plan.
***
Captain Neil and Andrew are quickly followed by Nicky and his Grandma both of whom look nervous but some of that seemed to dissipate when they saw him.
“Are you okay?” Captain Neil asks.
FF goes to open his mouth but a nurse interrupts, “He decided to go on a walk in his current condition. I thought we were quite clear that you needed to stay in bed. Stressing yourself is why you collapsed in the Cafeteria like that.” His main nurse chastises.
“Sorry, it won’t happen again.” FF promises because it won’t. He’s planning on asking for a medically induced coma to escape the consequences of his actions so leaving the bed is the last thing he’s going to do. His dad’s trust for him can have money taken out for his medical needs and there has never been a greater medical need in his entire life than right now.
“What happened?” Andrew demands stepping next to Neil.
How does one explain getting a job offer from the Yakuza (Yakuza or Mafia)?
“I wanted to go for a walk.” He answers because he had and that’s easier to explain.
“Why did you meet Ichirou Moriyama?” Andrew asks again in German.
Well dammit.
FF finds himself at a crossroads.
Does he tell the truth? That he’s an idiot and didn’t realize the man was reaching out to Captain Neil? That he went and had an entire conversation with the man who owns Captain Neil, Kevin, and Jean Moreau? That afterward he tried to stand up and fainted which is how he got taken back to his room?
He thinks he has enough lies going on between his own and his grandma’s and he needs to relay something from Ichirou Moriyama.
“Lord Moriyama wanted me to tell you that he no longer needed to speak with you Captain Neil.” He relays just like he said he would and he sees Captain Neil tense.
“Smith.” Andrew says his name.
He also doesn’t want to talk about it any further.
“I’m fine, but I don’t want to talk about it.” FF closes his eyes as he answers back in German. He feels exhausted now and wishes that he had just requested a coma earlier so that he wouldn’t be in this situation. “Captain Neil, you left your phone here and it’s been pinging. Sorry I read one of the texts.” He gestures vaguely to his side table.
None of his guests speak for the next few minutes as the nurses finish reminding him to stay still, that he’s lucky his stitches didn’t break, that he’s on thin ice. He’s tired and he’s hungry so he’s curt with them in a way he’ll regret later but right now it’s just a lot when he can still feel Captain Neil and Andrew’s eyes burning into him.
Then Nicky proves to continue to be the nicest friend he has when the nurses leave and he feels Nicky’s hand take his and squeeze. “Hey, how are you really feeling?” he asks.
FF takes a deep breath, “I have...no idea.” he says. “I’m sorry.” he adds.
Nicky squeezes his hand again, “Hey, Aras made you some soup and we kept it away from Kevin. You’re probably a lil’ cranky because you’re tired, hungry, and in pain. You don’t need to talk about it right now okay?” Nicky says.
He’s really lucky to have Nicky as his friend.
He squeezes Nicky’s hand back and valiantly does not cry. He squeezes his eyes tighter to keep them from slipping out, it’d be embarrassing to cry here like this.
“Thank you.” He says voice quiet but doesn’t open his eyes, knowing what will come out if he does.
His Grandma comes to his side again and strokes his face. Her fingers wipe away the few tears that did slip out despite his best efforts but he thinks she did it so casually that maybe no one noticed.
It hasn’t been a good day, but Grandma’s soup has always been something that makes him feel better. He just wishes he could be alone for a minute with just her to witness the next few minutes.
Nicky, bless him, must sense that because he squeezes his hand tightly before letting go, “C’mon, let’s give Smithy and Aras a moment okay?” He says.
FF doesn’t open his eyes until his Grandma whispers, “My little Rotisserie Chicken, they’ve stepped out.” She says.
“He offered me a job in the Yakuza.” He blubbers immediately. “I don’t even know if they have dental.” He spills one of his lesser concerns.
“Oh honey, let’s eat some soup.” She soothes stroking his face.
***
Neil feels bad.
FF was pale, shaking, sweaty, and despite his grandma’s best efforts Neil had seen a tear slip from his tightly closed eyes.
He looks to his side and sees Andrew’s own hands tightened into fists.
“C’mon, let’s give Smithy and Aras a moment okay?” Nicky says and drags them out of the room through the sheer force of his ire. It’s moment like this that Neil really does understand why it is that FF prefers to spend his free time with Nicky over any other of their group.
They get out of the room and down the hall before Nicky starts in. “You two are the KINGS of not talking about shit so, for now, LEAVE it.” He hisses in German in a bid to keep the conversation private from anyone walking past.
“We need to know what deal he and Ichirou came to.” Andrew says in the same language.
“You’re going to find that out from Ichirou probably once he crazy murders Romero and Jackson in the next couple days!” Nicky cries dramatically, “Smithy probably doesn’t even know the full details because he’s in a lot of pain because he’s been STABBED.” Nicky points a finger at Andrew but wisely does not poke him with it. “Do you think he ACTUALLY went on a walk? Ichirou’s men probably took him since they couldn’t find YOU Neil.” Nicky points at Neil and, again, wisely does not poke him with it.
Neil’s stomach twists.
Maybe Neil should invest in a phone clip like Wymack thought the implication that the Moriyamas came to where his phone was leaves him wanting to skip it like a stone straight into the ocean. Too bad going to a beach still makes his palms sweaty.
“So what WE are going to do,” Nicky does a quick circle to point at the three of them, “is we are going to be good friends and help Smithy because he’s stressed, in pain, and needs friends not INTERROGATORS.” Nicky waves his arms in exasperation.
“Who are Neil and Andrew interrogating?” Aaron asks and Neil looks to the side to see Aaron with Kevin being pulled along by the scruff by Wymack.
“Smithy.” Nicky says.
“Why?” Kevin asks.
“Because Ichirou came and talked to him.” Andrew explains.
Kevin goes pale. “Why? I thought he was going to talk with Neil?” Kevin asks looking at Neil.
“He probably came here following Neil’s phone, which he left. So he grabbed Smithy to talk to him.” Nicky says, “Ichirou seemed impressed and pleased with whatever they talked about but Smithy is a little fragile after all of this so,” Nicky stepped into Kevin’s space, “Leave.” He pokes Kevin’s chest once, “Him.” He pokes Kevin’s chest twice, “Alone.” He pokes Kevin’s chest a third time.
“How would he even have an understanding of who he’s talking to?” Kevin asks looking sick. “No one has mentioned anything about the whole thing with the Moriyamas right?” He looks at the rest of them and Neil knows none of them would mention it.
Nicky rolls his eyes with his entire body.
“Kevin, do you know how many languages Smithy is fluent in?” Nicky asks.
“Uh…quite a few?” Kevin responds looking thrown.
“Yeah, one of those languages is French. Which you KNOW because he’s corrected your pronunciation before.” Nicky reminds Kevin and the Son of Exy blushes slightly.
“What does that have to do with this?!” Kevin squawks.
“Kevin, how many conversations have you had RIGHT in front of Smithy in French as you talked with Jean?” Nicky asks.
“None!” Kevin hisses.
“Can you say that for sure? You know how it can be with Smithy. Aaron over here has basically almost fucked his girlfriend in front of Smithy before because he didn’t realize he was there.” He juts his thumb towards Aaron.
“Hey.” Aaron scowls not happy to be reminded of that. “He needs a damn bell.” Aaron grumbles.
“I’ve talked about it in front of him and you never told us?!” Kevin exclaims.
“It’s Smithy! He’s not going to tell anyone!”  Nicky argues.
Which is very true.
FF is just not that kind of guy.
“So we are ALL going to be good, supportive friends to Smithy and hopefully he gets out of here today despite the whole shit show with Ichirou and we get him back to Abby’s where he can rest up in her guest room with his grandma.” He points at each of them with a frown.
“But-“
“Kevin, leave it for now.” Wymack finally steps in to the conversation. “How’s he looking?” He looks to Neil.
Pale, tired, pained, and trying not to cry either from pain, stress, or fear Neil does not know.
“Bad.” Neil answers.
Wymack sighs, “Stay out here. I’m going to go check.” He says.
They watch as Wymack enters into FF’s room.
Kevin is still spiraling from the realization of all the different conversations he could have possibly had in front of FF thinking French would act as a barrier.
A thought crosses Neil’s mind, “Wait, Smith doesn’t know Russian right?” He looks to Andrew because he and Andrew have said quite a few things to one another when FF was there.
“No, he said he isn’t learning it here.” Andrew shakes his head. “Even if he does learn it Smith would just leave if he was uncomfortable.” Andrew shrugs.
They have all seen a ‘Smith 180°™‘ before when he’s walked in and has seen Aaron and Katelyn or entered a room where Nicky was talking to Erik or Matt was talking to Dan. Neil has even noticed one or two when him and Andrew may have been in a less than private place.
It was nice to have someone who would just see them like that and leave it alone instead of betting on it, trying to take a picture, or gagging like it’s disgusting.
Wymack walks back out after a minute in FF’s hospital room, “Let’s give Smith and his Grandma a couple more minutes.” He says and Neil’s heart sinks.
***
Wymack wasn’t quite sure what he walked into.
Smith’s Grandma was wiping his face and feeding him soup which is about what he expected. What he hadn’t expected was what FF was saying to his Grandma.
“….didn’t even wash his hands Gran. What if none of them wash their hands? I can’t work in that kind of environment!” FF babbles as he takes another spoonful of soup from his Grandma.
Smith’s Grandma looks up and sees that it’s just him at the door before continuing in English, “Sweetie, you don’t need to accept the job offer from the Yakuza.” She soothes.
“What do I even do?! What’s the etiquette? Do I send a letter refusing the job offer? Do I email him thanking him for the interview? Was it an interview?” FF asks.
Wymack shuts the door and he’s sure FF hadn’t even noticed him.
Yeah the kid needs a couple more minutes
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MASTERPOST FOR ALL PARTS OF FLUENT FRESHMAN AU
NEXT
@i-have-three-feelings​ @blep-23​ @dreamerking27​ @andreilsmyreligion @belodensetdust​ @rainbowpineapplebottle @yarn-ace​ @iwouldlikesometea @lily-s-world​ @obscureshipsandchips​ @booklover242​ @whataboutmyfries​ @sahturnos​ @pluto-pepsi​ @dreamerthinker​ @passinhosdetartaruga​ @leftunknownheart​ @aro-manita-muscaria @hologramsaredead​ @Chaoticgremlinswishtheycouldbeme @tntwme​ @tayspots @nick-scar​ @crazy-fangirl2524​ @blue-jos10​ @stabbyfoxandrew​ @splishsplashyouropinionistrash​ @sammichly​ @the-broken-pen​ @bitchesdoweknowu​ @very-small-flower​ @ghostlyboiii​ @its-a-paxycab​ @bisexual-genderfluid-fan​ @cheesecookie​ @theoneandonlylostsock​ @foxsoulcourt​ @blueleys @adverbialstarlight​ @elia-nna​ @can-i-just-stay-in-the-corner​ @nikodiangel​ @foxandcrow-inatrenchcoat​ @hallucinatedjosten​ @satanic-foxhole-court​ @vexingcosmos​ @chalilodimun​ @insectsgetcooked​ @angry-kid-with-no-money​ @queer-crows​ @lillyndra​ @themundanemudperson​ @readertodeath​ @apileofpillows​ @mortalsbowbeforeme​ @hellomynameismoo​ @next-level-mess @youreonlylow​ @interstellarfig​ @notprocrastinatingatalltoday​ @percyjacksonfan3​ @queenofcrazy27​ @bsmr261 @ghostlyscares​ @spencellio @adinthedarkroom​ @harpymoth​ @sufferingjustalilbit​ @anxietymoss​ @oddgreyhound​ @ohno-myhyperfixation-itsbroken​ @ken22789​ @atiredvampire​ @isoldescorner​ @not--a--pipedream​ @azure-wing​ @bushbees​  @roonilwazlib-main​ @crumplelush​ @foldedaces-paperbirds​ @thesenseinnonsense​ @let-tyrants-fear​ @ketchupandfries​ @legowerewolf​ @deadlydodos​ @but-we-respect-his-craft​ @cariniqe @zanypersonapricotbiscuit​ @lesbian-blackbeard​ @lesbiansupernatural​ @silvermasquerade​ @thepeachfuzz​ @minniemariex​ @kazoo-the-demjin​ @gaypomegranate​ @ji-nk-ies​ @neilimfinejosten​ @omgrubelangel​ @itsyouitsmeorpheuseurydice​ @percabethotplove​ @cozyrosykay​ @foxyatlas​ @theoneandonlylostsock​ @cindersapsecrets​ @scornedethnographer​ @hugemotherfuckingnerd​ @givemethedamnflowers​ @our-king-bree​
The  requests to be added to the tag list keep being spread out across a few  different areas. If I missed you please just ask again in the replies I  promise I just missed you.
As stated before if you’re up here and I spelled it right but you didn’t get a notification there might be  something switched around in your settings that won’t let me tag you properly?
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bogkeep · 9 months
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it was always a strange dichotomy. every middle school classmate i had told me i'd be a millionaire when i grew up, a Famouse Artisté. it's easy enough to imagine as a teen, i suppose: skill equals fame equals money. i was doubtful about this prophecy, not because i wasn't confident in my ability to draw, but because it was hard to imagine a world where i'd be paid for it.
it was an ice breaker game at summer camp. horrible one, really - everyone in a group were given a character profile. now we had to imagine that it was the zombie apocalypse, and the helicopter to safety was two seats short and we had argue why we deserved a spot. the character i got was an asshole doctor of some kind. i don't remember if i argued my way into the helicopter or not, but i do remember the feeling that's been hanging over me my entire life - if the apocalypse happens right now, i have nothing to contribute.
there's something really painful about it. i have cultivated a skill for my whole life, i can make art and tell stories that are entirely unique to me, there is no way to get someone else to create in the exact same way i can, and yet - i've contributed more to capitalist society by sitting in an empty hotel reception for eight hours a day.
which made me develop anxiety, to boot.
i illustrated two children's books. they're some of my best work. the contract i signed was industry standard and the indie author who had hired me was incredibly kind... but even after stock sold out i had earnt little more than some pocket change.
in high school we had an outing to dig our own snow caves that we would spend the night in. in teams, thankfully. i have so little physical strength to speak of, most i could do to help was clear away the snow rubble and toss it outside. i know, i know, my classmates reassured me it was an important job to do, i was an invaluable member of the group, sure - but it's that feeling, you know?
what would my task be in the communist solarpunk commune?
a person cannot be useless. it's a human being. they just exist, no ifs and buts about it. one can only be useless in the eyes of an ableist, capitalist society that sees no value in being alive beyond production and profit.
sometimes i receive messages from internet strangers to tell me something i said - often several years ago - was helpful to them. maybe it was a throwaway comment on a forum. maybe it was replying to a question they could've googled the answer to. maybe it was an encouraging reply to someone's artwork. turns out it mattered to someone. huh.
of course you can learn new skills. i have learnt plenty over the years! i have also learnt that there are limitations to what i can do. that some of the obstacles i face are not in fact obstacles everyone faces. it's not that i can't break tasks into smaller steps, it's more that half of those steps are going to be "rinse your hands because you Touched a Thing and now you're going to have to touch Another Thing." i wonder if that's adding to my cognitive load or something.
i was never raised to be a man, so by all accounts i do not understand why i'm so haunted by the spectre of toxic masculinity - what would i do if i was a medieval peasant and a war broke out? what if i was in a pre-historic hunter gatherer society and i was expected to hunt? what if i was a humble farm boy discovering the sword of the chosen one and the world depended on my non-existing courage to face certain death?
look, it's stupid. these are not scenarios i will find myself in. besides, pre-historic humans depended on community and taking care of each other. that's how we survive.
i'm not useless and i decided to make peace with being useless anyway.
we're surrounded by digital clocks. we can't really escape them. do we need watchmakers? would they save me a spot in the zombie apocalypse helicopter? no, don't answer that. i'm just happy i found something that requires a light touch and an observant eye.
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puppyeared · 6 months
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people who do STEM or administration as a career full time and continue to do art as a hobby, I am scared of you but like in a hot way. youre like if we were allowed to have cold drinks in winter. i look at you and think of miles morales with his two cakes. do you want to make out sometime
#i say all of this positively bc i just! i cant help admiring it!! even if its mundane or not a big deal to you i seriously cant wrap my head#around it.. this is in no way at all meant to be condescending or anything. whenever i look at someones bio and theyre like oh im working#as a lab assistant biologist pharmacist realtor etc im like woag.... thats insane.. and then i peep your art tag and it knocks my socks of#how?? what lives do you lead??? im so curious. i seriously want a peek inside your brains someday. or at least shadow you at work lol#i cant help but feel sad when someone says smth like well i have to support myself and art cant do that for me. or maybe you were#pushed into pursuing a 'safe' career bc i hear it a lot. all of my relatives have the same story working as nurses and OFWs for the family#i think for me its not about missed potential but rather its being sad about making a decision to put your happiness aside to get by#ive tried so hard to do it but it didnt work out. i guess watching you guys do it is fascinating to me#or maybe youve made peace with your decision or actually like what you pursued but im still amazed!! it makes me wonder what made#you pick one over the other in that case.. is it like putting time for two different things the way you would for a schedule?? hmmm#im doing graphic design so i dont really interact with ppl in other faculties even humanities like sociology or childcare... so i cant help#wondering what it must be like as someone whos pursuing visual communication both as an interest and career#i seriously wish i could do smth like a desk job or even admin and maybe ill try that if this doesnt work. or i could look into trades#but dyscalculia already makes it hard to do things like cash and mental math so i get overwhelmed if i think about this too hard#yapping
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transmechanicus · 4 months
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This is a projection of limited personal experience but there’s a type of poly person who realistically shouldn’t be in more than one relationship due to time, emotional availability, mental health, etc and just decides to try for like five relationships in a doomed quantity-over-quality approach and i think a large concentration of these ppl in one area is partly why Portland and an increasingly large surrounding exclusion zone is That Way
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thatonegayship · 8 months
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I loved the cowboy comic so much that I wrote a oneshot for it. https://archiveofourown.org/works/50934235 🥺 your art is BEYOND amazing, ty for the food
INCREDIBLE!!!!!
#billdip#I honestly loved this story start to finish with the ambience and quick pace#hadn't considered the possibility of Bill and Dipper actually working *together* but it's always a good time when they do ❤️#sorry it took so long to reblog 🥲#I read it like- Right when you posted. But I had to catch a plane and then drive an extra hour home and immediately get on zoom for class#and today i was just all around exhausted so i slept roughly 70% of the entire day dndsjdndnd#all that to say that I had your fic in the back of my mind and I very much wanted to set some time aside and re-read it when I got the chan#honestly with how well you set things up I would've loved to see your own rendition of their first kiss#You established their relationship really well at the start and brought them together by the end after outsmsrtong those bandits#it feels like you have a better understanding of who they are to each other than even i do 😌 very much a fan#i love when stories incorporate those sort of 'habits' that the love interests fall into#that confuses character A while character B is so clearly using it as an excuse to get close and spend more time with them#i squealed like a maniac when Bill was like oooph lemme walk you home 😏🤠#sir i am going to wrangle you up if you don't compose yourself#and Dipper's just wary of him because people as handsome as bill used to pick on him 😢#little does he know he's grown into a 10/10 cutie patootie that any cowboy would be stupid NOT to smooch#I'm a simple man. I read oblivious low-confidence cowboy being pursued by a hottie on a horse. I lose my shit#Awesome wonderful writing!!! so happy to have caught your eye and i hope to continue pumping out content for this wonderfully weird ship
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serratedpens · 4 months
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hi i'm here for my annual personal post on this blog <3
I hope everyone is as good as they can be given the times. I truly believe art as therapy is the future of personal medication. Both in creation and experience. I've been trying to read more poetry lately as I've fallen into the habit of only reading non fiction. I'm not setting a 'goal' by any means but I am hoping to sink my teeth into more good stuff this year.
If anyone has any recommendations for collections or essays, I'm all ears <3
reminder that I am also @bravecitizen
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docresa · 2 months
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Today I had the best time volunteering for a teaching project (which is led by our chief vascular surgeon).
That is, apart from the fact that we ran into some of our abdominal surgery attendings, who gave me a massive (verbal) side-eye for technically hanging out with the vascular surgeons in my free time. (Some of them don’t really see eye to eye, both medically and personally).
And I’m soooo sick of it, can’t I just try to figure out what I eventually want to do with my career without having to navigate a social and political minefield?
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jacksoldsideblog · 6 months
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truly nothing more depressing than seeing a blog glorifying self harm in the fight club tag in an unironic way and you click through to see its an anorexic 14 year old :/ i wish i could communicate like... it doesn't make you cool or better, it's not an actual way to control things in your life, i am so so sorry you think this is the sexy answer. but also jesus why do you blog about it
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its-stupidhours · 4 months
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this is smallcrow revival to me. do you get me. do you see my vision. please
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eldrtchmn · 6 months
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personal rant incoming
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lord-squiggletits · 1 year
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One TF fandom argument that confuses me is when people put Megatron and Starscream versus each other like, when people say that it's "unfair that Megatron gets redemption but Starscream doesn't" (in regards to IDW1) because like. One, IDW1 in phase 2 was written by like 4 different writers, so you can't try to claim that there was some unified vision where the nonexistent Singular Writer of IDW was like "no Starscream isn't allowed to have nice things."
And second, I don't think the writers would even think of it that way? It's not like the writers were like "okay we have one Get Out Of Jail Free Card and we're going to spend it on Megatron, sorry Starscream maybe in the next reboot you can get it." The divisions fans make between X character likers and Y character likers are completely made up fandom drama and sometimes I feel like people don't understand that the writers aren't privy to fandom infighting/drama and wouldn't write Megatron and Starscream in opposition to each other as if one character's gain must come at the other's expense.
And finally............. IDW1 Starscream literally does get to be portrayed as a more morally gray person, have his feelings shown and treated as human, even make some friends/have people treat him nicely? IDK what fucking comics people are reading where they think that Starscream is treated as an evil villain with no redeeming qualities at all. Maybe it's the same Starscream fans who shit on TAAO/Scott or something, that's the only way I could explain it.
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analog-television · 1 month
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how do you deal when after years and years of coasting through life, passionless, hopeless - until you suddenly stumble across *something* which reverses that feeling. giving you a glimpse into a life that you could have, that you desperately WANT to have? how do you deal with the uncertainty of even being allowed to pursue it - how there are factors beyond your ability to fix with jeopardize you having access to the very thing which momentarily brought you joy (real, genuine, joy).
i can't help but feel like that one picture with the yellow dogs prancing in a circle as a lone individual watches, dreaming of a life they knew they should have. slowly stepping forward, introducing yourself - only to be caged up yet again on account of past mistakes and failures that cannot be so easily rectified. on account of pursuing certain things, purely because you didn't know what else you even CAN do. trying to fit into a world that was never yours to begin with, and now being expected to go in that direction regardless. no matter how much it hurts you.
i just wish i discovered my true passions earlier. i just wish i had the chance to run after it while i still could. i just wish i wasn't so oblivious, but i must've been looking the wrong direction - not even thinking of checking out the fence at all.
perhaps there's no chance of a happy ending after all, but it was nice to meet the dogs on the other side of the fence - even if for a little bit. i will always treasure the time i had.
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justghostthings · 7 months
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I've been sorta seeing someone lately n I think I'm gonna officially ask them to be my partner soon
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