#peas n guac

[blended-ice]

appreciation for yuuri’s sochi gpf costume

[tmmyhug]

1, 2, 19, 26, 28, 29

sorry its alot but theirs method to my madness

oh wow anon are you taking a census or sth

chipotle order?

i don't actually go to chipotle much but uhhh probably a burrito w/ all the veggies except jalapenos and bellpeppers. and guac is important.

2. thoughts on veganism?

im vegetarian so im already on board for the meat part. for other animal products that are taken without harming the animals like milk and eggs n stuff it wouldn't really make sense to me however in a society that exploits and harms animals in order to get those products I understand why veganism appeals to so many people

19. veggie you dislike the most?

peas. no carrots. no peas. carrots. peas. carrots .peas .c

26. how's your spice tolerance?

horrendous!

28. last meal on earth?

paani puri (kind of like indian tacos? but small and egg shaped and with different ingredients)

29. preferred pasta noodle?

big fan of spaghetti tbh. long and slurpy. as meals should be

[clairenatural]

Top 5 munchies? Top 5 writing instruments (type, color...)?

1. chips n guac 2. carrots and hummus 3. hot cheetos 4. white cheddar cheeze its 5. these pea/lentil snack things called harvest snaps that i'll eat entire bags of at a time

1. papermate ink joy (black) 2. muji gel pens!!! all colors but i like the red one 3. idk i have this pen with a NYC MTA card design i'm just really attached to 4. lamy mechanical pencil 5. standard yellow highlighter :)

ask me my top 5 anything!!

[fmlsmut]

Baby, Kiss Me

Pairing: Sweet Pea x reader w/ stretch marks and a snort laugh b/c we’re real bitches here (hey if I get a request I can make it more personalized)

Word Count: 2865

Summary: You and Sweet Pea are hanging out and start dancing to Frank Sinatra on your one year anniversary, which leads to ~sexy time~ ;))) and Sweet Pea worshiping your stretch marks because stretch marks are amazing and beautiful (also sorry this is super long I got kinda carried away whoops)

Warnings: nicknames, oral (both of em b/c everyone deserves it every now and then), it’s gonna be bad it’s my first fic since middle school rip, oh yeah almost forgot Sweets bangs you like a screen door in a hurricane thanks bye

It was 5:30 pm and you were putting the finishing touches on your hair before starting the stressful endeavor of the endless scavenger hunt for your shoes. 

Your boyfriend Sweet Pea was going to come and get you in fifteen short minutes for your one-year anniversary. You two were planning to go to Chipotle because neither of you had all that much cash to blow and Taco Bell gives you the poops. 

You and Sweet Pea had first met at school in your freshman year. he spent that entire year acting cool around you and flirting to get you to like him. You always thought that he was cute, but you were never sure if he was your type, but there was only so much pestering you could handle until you finally gave in during your sophomore year. Sweet Pea was so shocked when you asked him if he wanted to go to the drive-in with you that he almost fell over! He was so head-over-heels for you, and before long his feelings for you weren’t unrequited anymore.

This last year had been the best one you ever had. You were always there for Sweet Pea. When he got his first tattoo, you were there. When he got his motorcycling license, you were his first scoop. He was your first kiss and your first oo la la if ya catch ma drift.

After a solid fifteen minutes of dashing around the house like Sonic on crack, you finally find the nude-colored pumps that you desperately needed and slide them on just as you hear a knock on the door.

You check the mirror quickly, making sure your hair, makeup and boobs were all in the right place before grabbing your purse and opening the door with a big smile on your face as you tried to catch your breath.

Sweet Pea is leaning against the door frame, wearing a suit and instead of opting for the traditional jacket to top off the ensemble, he wore his leather jacket. The best thing that he was wearing though, was the expression on his face. His eyes were wider than the social gap between the North and Southsiders and his jaw clenched a little at the way your breasts were pushed up by your bra.

“Like what you see?” You tease.

All that Sweet Pea could do was nod.

“I would too if I were you.” You jested, snapping him out of it with a laugh that ended in a loud snort. “Let’s blow this joint.” You say. Sweet Pea leads you to his motorcycle and you immediately regret wearing a skirt.

“We can walk?” Sweet Pea suggests. It was either that or flash the entire Southside.

“Sure, let me just change my shoes real quick, otherwise my feet will never forgive me.” You replied before going back inside to switch out your beloved pumps for your even more beloved and comfortable sneakers.

“Ready to go?” Sweet Pea asked once you came back outside. You nodded in response.

The walk to Chipotle mostly consisted of laughter, Sweet Pea’s arm around your waist and yours around his, sometimes letting your hand drift down to his butt because boy oh boy if there was one thing you loved it was butts and Sweet Pea was blessed with one of the best butts you’d ever seen.

Once you two (finally) got to Chipotle, it was around 6:20 pm. After you had sat down with your food (including guac because it was your anniversary, you both deserved a treat), you started to rub your foot on Sweet Pea’s leg. He scooted in closer and placed his hand on your knee and rubbed up and down your thigh slowly, leaving chills running down your spine and butterflies in your stomach. He eventually decided that his hand would be better used to hold his burrito and stopped the rubbing.

“You know what y/n,” He began in between bites, “you should save the teasing for later. It IS our anniversary after all and I do have something planned.” He winked after his last statement and you responded with a small giggle and an unexpected snort, which made you laugh a little harder. Sweet Pea began to laugh with you as you kept snorting. It was funny and you didn’t mind because he was laughing with you, not at you.

The walk home was full of questions about what Sweet Pea had planned for you.

“Is it kinky?”

“Not really.”

“Is it fun?”

“No shit, of course it’s fun!” He laughed.

“Will it last a while?”

“I sure are hell hope so.”

Eventually, you made it back over to Sweet Pea’s trailer. You stepped inside and Sweat pea gestured for you to sit on the couch.

“Just sit there and close your eyes.” He said, excitedly. You did as you were told until you heard Frank Sinatra’s voice echoing through the room. “Open.” Sweet Pea told you as he took you in his arms and began to dance with you.

You were happy as you let your head rest on his chest while he led. Fly Me To The Moon came on and Sweet Pea had bent over to rest his head in the crook of your neck while you whispered the words softly into his ear. When you whispered those magic words, “Baby, kiss me,” he gently pressed his lips to your neck.

Before long, one kiss became two, two became three and so on and so forth as Sweet Pea began lethargically making his way up your neck until you felt his breath and soft lips on your jawline. He went up to your ear and began to nibble on it, whispering to you in a low, rough voice; “Honey, I love you so much... you’re beautiful and amazing and so good for me. Happy anniversary.”

You would have said something along the lines of, “Oh Sweets I love you too and I’m so glad that I decided to date you. This has been the best year of my life and I can’t wait for the next,” but Sweet Pea’s soft kiss to your lips didn’t give you a chance.

You gradually ran your hands through his hair as the kiss deepened and one of his hands gently grabbed your butt while the other stayed on your hip. It didn’t take long for Sweet Pea to decide that it was time to relocate to the bedroom. he grabbed your legs and picked you up while you wrapped your legs around him. Sweet Pea set you down on the bed roughly, to match the intensity of your kisses. He rushed up on top of you, ready to kiss you again, but you had a better idea.

You put your finger over his lips and used your free hand to guide his down to the hem of his shirt. Sweet Pea got the message and took off his jacket and shirt, leaving his soft skin exposed. You stood up, making him do the same, and dragged your slips slowly from his neck down to his chest, letting your nails gently graze his back. He let out a low, gruff moan and brought his hands down to his belt, but you quickly grabbed his wrists as best you could, your small hand not big enough to reach all the way around, and moved his hands away from the waistline before continuing to make your way down.

“Babe, I swear to god...” Sweet Pea muttered. His comment did nothing to speed you up.

You finally made it down to his belt and slowly undid it. You were ready and willing to make the boy you loved feel good because that’s what he always did for you. He always made you feel good and special, loved and protected. You felt safe with him and that felt good.

You had finally undid his belt, button and zipper while maintaining eye contact. His pants fell down quickly and Sweet Pea grunted. You dragged his boxers down and his erect penis popped out. You grabbed the base and licked up his shaft, making him moan and grab your hair, pulling it back into a makeshift ponytail. You teased his head with your tongue and he moaned your name in his low, baritone voice while throwing his head up. After spreading the salty precum all over his head, you decide it’s time to stop teasing and taking him in your mouth slowly as Sweet Pea let out a loud moan. You loved the effect that you had on him as he moaned more while you sucked in your cheeks and bobbed your head and hummed, resulting in even more groans, moans and nicknames. He pulled your hair while you took in more and more of him until you were gagging. He was moaning and bucking his hips into your mouth until you were choking.

“God babygirl,” He moaned “you’re so damn good at this...fuck.” He was putty in your hands and you loved every second of it, but before long, it was over.

“I’m gonna cum.” Sweet Pea warned, making sure that you were prepared for it. He was even a gentleman in bed.

He came in your throat and you swallowed the salty fluid as best you could. Sweet Pea pulled out of you and knelt down to wipe your mouth with his shirt from the floor. He smiled at you and gave you a long and gentle kiss on the lips. “Now it’s your turn.” He said in a low, seductive voice.

Before you had time to respond, he picked you up from the floor and tossed you onto the bed as you laughed and snorted, Sweet Pea laughing along. He loved your laugh and so did you because of all the joy it spread to any ears that heard it.

You let Sweet Pea overcome you with the sensation of his needy kisses starting at your lips, intertwining your tongues, dragging down your jawline, nibbling your ear and whispering sweet nothings, biting your neck while his hands explored your each and every curve, not hesitating to begin at your thighs, traveling up your hips, tracing patterns across your stretch marks as he muttered about how beautiful you were before pulling your dress over your head, allowing his hands and lips to meet at your breasts. You moaned in pleasure as his tongue circled your left nipple, while his hand massaged your right. Your back arched and your moans intensified, now with a soft “god, daddy...” planted in them as Sweet Pea tweaked your right nipple and bit your left. He had you under his spell and you didn’t mind at all.

You could feel the heat in your core intensifying as you brought your hand down to your clit and began to rub through your underwear, trying to satisfy your urges. You were only able to trace circles on yourself for a short amount of time before Sweet Pea grabbed your wrist and without saying a word, looked up to you, making eye contact, and slowly pushed himself down towards your hips, dragging his fat lower lip down your stomach.

“If you wanted this,” He began in a husky, low voice while lifting up the fabric of your underwear with one of his long fingers, “you should’ve just asked.” With that, he released your waistband so that it smacked down on your soft skin, making your moan in both pain and pleasure.

“Please...” You whispered in a shaky breath.

“Please what?” Sweet Pea asked, a knowing smirk on his face.

“Please go down on me.” You begged.

Sweet Pea then slowly drew your underwear down from your waist.. The anticipation was killing you. When you finally felt them slide down past your ankles and off your feet, you were hoping that Sweet Pea would go straight for you clit, but the boy was such a tease...

He slowly rubbed the inside of your thighs before kissing them, letting his hands wander to your hips, tracing your stretch marks. He muttered something into your skin. You hummed questioningly, asking him to repeat himself. He drifted his face up to your hips to kiss them slowly and gently.

“I love these.” He said in a low, hushed voice. He smiled against your skin, looking up at you. You smiled back.

His fingers lightly traveled down towards your clit and he lightly rubbed it in slow circles. You moaned. He pressed a little harder and rubbed a little faster, wanting to push you farther. Your back arched against your will and you gripped the sheets. He pinched it. You moaned harder and started grinding your hips. Sweet Pea then used his large hands to spread your thighs out farther than they already were, making room for his head. He teasingly licked from your slit up to your bud.

“You’re so wet.” He breathed onto you, making you hum in appreciation.

Sweet Pea then began a sporadic pattern of licking, sucking and biting as you gripped his hair and moaned, arching your back, unable to contain yourself. He stuck a finger in you and you started moaning his name, “Oh Sweets!” You cried, all control over your body now abandoned as he stuck another finger in. You felt a knot form inside of you as you tightened around him.

“Oh god I’m gonna cum!” You nearly scream it. Sweet Pea began humming against your clit, which pushed you to the edge. You felt the tension that had built inside of you release, leaving you panting, out of breath and a little bit sweaty. Sweet Pea sucked his fingers clean and leaned forward to kiss you.

“Just one second.” He promised, getting off of you and picking up his pants off the floor. He searched his pockets until he found the little wrapper he was looking for. As he put the condom on, you lay there on the bed, letting the high of your orgasm fade.

Next thing you knew, Sweet Pea was on top of you, kissing you hard and passionately and you were kissing him back. You stopped him suddenly, placing your hand on his chest and gently pushing him away, making him sit up.

“Y/n, is something wrong? Do you want to stop?” Sweet Pea asked, concerned for your well being.

“No...” You began as you got up to sit on your legs, “I just wanted to get a good look at you.”

And that you did as your eyes wandered across all of his features, studying his deep eyes, olive skin, messy hair, big arms and the way his chest heaved as he breathed for a while. He was thoroughly beautiful. Moments like this were thoroughly beautiful. You could see the look of love in his eyes as he stared at you and your body the same way you were seeing his. You couldn’t hold back any more, so you slowly leaned in and gently kissed him. He kissed back. These kisses were slow and sweet, but soon became lustful and passionate as you pushed Sweet Pea down onto the bed and straddled him.

You lined yourself up with him and brought yourself lower. The room was then filled with your unison moans as you lowered yourself farther and farther until he had filled you entirely. Then you started to bounce. Sweet Pea took in the sight of you, moaning and your breasts bouncing as he gripped your hips. You began to grind against him, making him moan your name as you felt your clit rub against his skin. You started bouncing again and Sweet Pea couldn’t help himself as he quickly thrust into you a few times before stopping.

“Keep going.” You breathed, loving the feeling of the fast friction inside of you. 

Sweet Pea did as he was told and thrust into you faster and harder than he did earlier. He then pulled out of you, making you moan, as he laid you down on the bed. He hovered over you and began thrusting into you again. You wrapped your legs around his waist and moaned. Sweet Pea started kissing your neck and rub your clit as he continued thrusting. You dug your nails into his shoulders and your toes curled as you felt tension building inside of you yet again.

“Sweet Pea.. I’m gonna-” You started, but he cut you off.

“Do it.” He said gruffly.

You obeyed and you released all over his cock. He moaned and you felt him twitch inside you as you rode out your high. It didn’t take long for Sweet Pea to finish after that.

He laid down next to you and you looked at each other. Sweet Pea brushed some stray strands of hair out of your face while the both of you tried to catch your breath. He leaned in and kissed your nose.

“I love you.” He whispered.

“I love you too Sweets, happy anniversary.” You responded softly.

He smiled and so did you as you nuzzled into his chest while his arms found their way around you. You fell asleep... just like that.

[weeklyhumorist]

#MoodyMenuItems

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An order of the SOB Salad and a glass of the UnsTable wine please! It’s #MoodyMenuItems on this week’s joke game! Here are some of the best on @HashtagRoundUp powered by @TheHashtagGame. Play our comedy hashtag twitter games every Wednesday at 11 am EST.

Let’s play #MoodyMenuItems with co-host @delaneyWHmag @HashtagRoundup powered by @TheHashtagGame #WittyWednesday pic.twitter.com/wqBHkDuTzk

— Weekly Humorist (@WeeklyHumorist) January 8, 2020

#MoodyMenuItems unsTable wine

— DM (@patchdennizen) January 8, 2020

#MoodyMenuItems

Hater Tots

— Baby Deadpool aka Blurry Face (@Eminem11684) January 8, 2020

Meathaters Pizza #MoodyMenuItems

— That Girl (@whoulooknat) January 8, 2020

Onion Mood Rings #MoodyMenuItems

— Keith G. Blair (@44bizzness) January 8, 2020

#MoodyMenuItems Fish n’ chip on the shoulder

— Giles Graham-Brown (@gilesfgb) January 8, 2020

Homemade apple sighhhh #MoodyMenuItems

— ☘️🍻Jables🍻☘️ (@MrCheek22) January 8, 2020

#MoodyMenuItems Abalonely 😔 pic.twitter.com/2hEOrrNBBg

— Pingy🐧✨ (@SparklyPinguin) January 8, 2020

#MoodyMenuItems Every parent can relate to this… pic.twitter.com/L3ZZtvYm7P

— Ⓑⓔⓣⓗ (@Halloween_1014) January 8, 2020

Split Grumpea Soup … #MoodyMenuItems pic.twitter.com/yf47dl9EQ6

— Choo-Choo (@ChooChoo_Chewy) January 8, 2020

Tickled eggs #MoodyMenuItems

— Peter B Eberhardt (@whomeverett) January 8, 2020

Corn Beef Harsh #MoodyMenuItems

— Oliver Langmo (@Olivergoesoff) January 8, 2020

#MoodyMenuItems Pizza eye rolls pic.twitter.com/vvHNYt4ot0

— 🇨🇦Can I Be Mr Canada Now 🇨🇦 (@cleaningtowels) January 8, 2020

Sullen Skink #MoodyMenuItems

— Grant (@UnicornUnbound) January 8, 2020

chicken & slumplings#MoodyMenuItems pic.twitter.com/ZLKhF9Zq6C

— Anastasia Beaverhausen (@ImJacksDejaVu) January 8, 2020

Leave You Wonton More Soup #MoodyMenuItems #LilliesAsian pic.twitter.com/yiL06hgFpF

— Golden Nugget LC (@GoldenNuggetLC) January 8, 2020

#MoodyMenuItems Wince Pie

— Giles Graham-Brown (@gilesfgb) January 8, 2020

#MoodyMenuItems Cries pic.twitter.com/i4QobGSA6K

— ⓐⓙ💞 (@AT_Jen321) January 8, 2020

Grump Steak #MoodyMenuItems

— Flamenco Nut ❄️ (@flamencobug) January 8, 2020

#MoodyMenuItems Fickle Onions

— Snowballs (@a_snowman_4u) January 8, 2020

UnHappy Meal#MoodyMenuItems @WeeklyHumorist

— NostraDonny (@Nostradonny) January 8, 2020

#MoodyMenuItems Hash Frowns

— I’m Just Dan (@DanielAshley13) January 8, 2020

#MoodyMenuItems Green Scream’s pic.twitter.com/aGfqn3A5f8

— ⓐⓙ💞 (@AT_Jen321) January 8, 2020

Blue Bleu Cheese Dressing #MoodyMenuItems

— Oliver Langmo (@Olivergoesoff) January 8, 2020

#MoodyMenuItems The Moody Burger

— 🌹ꪑꪊꪀꪖ🇨🇦 (@MunaNawabit1) January 8, 2020

Chicken Mar*SAD*a #MoodyMenuItems pic.twitter.com/PFgtrUeA1k

— climate change is real 🔥🌎🔥 (@Fretful_Mess) January 8, 2020

#MoodyMenuItems Break-up-side down cake pic.twitter.com/dLZyxhTVQ3

— Bneus Meside (@BneusMoimeme) January 8, 2020

#MoodyMenuItems Scrambled Angst

— Teresa Palmitessa (@TeeCeePal) January 8, 2020

@WeeklyHumorist #MoodyMenuItems Apple pie a la mood pic.twitter.com/Me7aQ6sNfQ

— KK Garrett 💎 🐶 🐕🍫 🎶 (@SpazzyKK) January 8, 2020

#MoodyMenuItems Creamed Scorn.

— Simian Templar (@SimianTemplar) January 8, 2020

Happeas #MoodyMenuItems pic.twitter.com/r7Rl5LjoGI

— Bradders (@tunesisme) January 8, 2020

Apple Grumble. #MoodyMenuItems

— Թεαηմϯ (@AngryPeanut4) January 8, 2020

Rice P’ed-off #MoodyMenuItems @WeeklyHumorist

— Zachary Howe (@ZackEHowe) January 8, 2020

Gonna Give You Black Eye Peas #MoodyMenuItems

— Jesse Barfield (@JesseBarfieldPi) January 8, 2020

Corn on the Sob #MoodyMenuItems

— Flamenco Nut ❄️ (@flamencobug) January 8, 2020

#MoodyMenuItems Glum pudding

— spurgle5 (@spurgle5) January 8, 2020

#MoodyMenuItems scorn dogs

— DM (@patchdennizen) January 8, 2020

#MoodyMenuItems Deep Fried Fickle

— Persnickety Ricky 🐓 (@rickchard_rick) January 8, 2020

#MoodyMenuItems Apple pious

— DM (@patchdennizen) January 8, 2020

#MoodyMenuItems Dim Irksome.

— Simian Templar (@SimianTemplar) January 8, 2020

#MoodyMenuItems Dry-raged beef.

— Historically_false (@JanChiLing2) January 8, 2020

#MoodyMenuItems Egg terrified rice

— David Flett (@David_Flett) January 8, 2020

Eggs overwhelmingly easy #MoodyMenuItems

— Peter B Eberhardt (@whomeverett) January 8, 2020

#MoodyMenuItems

Hamburger with a sigh of fries

— MyaButtreaks (@MButtreaks) January 8, 2020

Forlorn On The Cob #MoodyMenuItems

— 💋🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿 Welsh Rarebit 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿💋 (@welsh_rarebit1) January 8, 2020

#MoodyMenuItems Sneer and Cheese Soup

— I’m Just Dan (@DanielAshley13) January 8, 2020

Dark chocolate #MoodyMenuItems

— Alan bud (@budworth_alan) January 8, 2020

#MoodyMenuItems BLTeed off!

— 📚Book’em Mary📚 (@MaryG0401) January 8, 2020

Down-In-The Dumplings #MoodyMenuItems

— O’Susanna (@1SassySuzee) January 8, 2020

Mean bean casserole #MoodyMenuItems

— Dorothy Darling (@Dotdarling68) January 8, 2020

#MoodyMenuItems Bitch and Chips

— Robert McGee (@Robert__McGee) January 8, 2020

Grouchpacho soup #MoodyMenuItems

— Butch (@ButchBrooklyn) January 8, 2020

Batshit Crazy Bread #MoodyMenuItems

— CK (@charley_ck14) January 8, 2020

#MoodyMenuItems Eggs Over-Tired

— I’m Just Dan (@DanielAshley13) January 8, 2020

#MoodyMenuItems Chicken Stir Cry

— Rushy💁🏻‍♀️🥀 (@rushna24) January 8, 2020

#MoodyMenuItems Horse sadish

— DM (@patchdennizen) January 8, 2020

#MoodyMenuItems

Sweet & Sour Reduction Sauce over ….

…… over…..

….. over Chef’s shattered hopes & dreams….

— Lee Ann (@LeeAnndelCasti4) January 8, 2020

Ice scream sundae #MoodyMenuItems

— SAMurai Untzalot 🎵 (@Samberg7) January 8, 2020

#MoodyMenuItems has anyone said cheesed off cake? 🤔🤔😉

— I MacHunt 🇮🇪🍀😉☘️🍻🍺 (@I_MacHunt) January 8, 2020

@WeeklyHumorist #MoodyMenuItems Quin-wah!! pic.twitter.com/yul5ltRiyf

— KK Garrett 💎 🐶 🐕🍫 🎶 (@SpazzyKK) January 8, 2020

Shepherds Cry #MoodyMenuItems

— KuRtAy ToRoS (@kurtaytoros83) January 8, 2020

I Don’t Want to Guac About It #MoodyMenuItems

— Morgan Pulitzer (@PulitSurprise) January 8, 2020

Satisfried … #MoodyMenuItems pic.twitter.com/9zElHfOM0K

— Choo-Choo (@ChooChoo_Chewy) January 8, 2020

Sweet, Sour, Bitter, Angry Lonely Chicken #MoodyMenuItems

— Panty Claws (@MidniteMadwoman) January 8, 2020

Fish Fil-hate #MoodyMenuItems pic.twitter.com/bECRsQGRyU

— Alisun Jane (@AlisunJane) January 8, 2020

#MoodyMenuItems Crabby Cakes pic.twitter.com/L0eEFsR1ld

— elyod (@ElyodRj) January 8, 2020

#MoodyMenuItems

Huffish and Chips

— €mm€tt C@$$id¥ (@de_emmett) January 8, 2020

#MoodyMenuItems Bitter Nut Squash

— Monty & Me (@CosyandMonty) January 8, 2020

Brussel Pouts #MoodyMenuItems

— Mister Race Bannon (@MrRaceBannon) January 8, 2020

#MoodyMenuItems Upbeatroot

— David Flett (@David_Flett) January 8, 2020

Cannellonely #MoodyMenuItems

— Peter B Eberhardt (@whomeverett) January 8, 2020

#MoodyMenuItems Moodles 🍜

— Canine🐶Aditya (@k9aditya) January 8, 2020

Sad Salad #MoodyMenuItems @KitLively

— Weekly Humorist (@WeeklyHumorist) January 8, 2020

Melancholyflour #MoodyMenuItems

— Chris O’Brien (@bigdweeb) January 8, 2020

#MoodyMenuItems Melancholyflour

— DM (@patchdennizen) January 8, 2020

Temperamental Tempura #MoodyMenuItems

— Eric Little (@SoCalEricLittle) January 8, 2020

#MoodyMenuItems Retorte.

— Simian Templar (@SimianTemplar) January 8, 2020

Boohoorrito #MoodyMenuItems

— Oliver Langmo (@Olivergoesoff) January 8, 2020

Sad Thai#MoodyMenuItems

— Jan. You Wary? 🎶🍻✌❤ (@JanGilson) January 8, 2020

Watermeloncholy #MoodyMenuItems @paul_lander

— Weekly Humorist (@WeeklyHumorist) January 8, 2020

#MoodyMenuItems was originally published on Weekly Humorist

[foursprout-blog]

11 Meal-Prep Recipes to Make in Your Instant Pot

New Post has been published on http://foursprout.com/health/11-meal-prep-recipes-to-make-in-your-instant-pot/

11 Meal-Prep Recipes to Make in Your Instant Pot

If you’re the proud owner of an Instant Pot, you probably know that having one in your kitchen is like having a superpower. With the ability to cook almost anything at almost any rate in almost any style, you’re suddenly transformed from human to kitchen wizard. But, as it goes with superpowers, with great power (and so. many. buttons.) comes great responsibility: to meal-prep. Yep, if you let it, this steamy little bot will become your best friend when it comes to planning out your week and making the easiest meal-prep recipes.

We know the “m” word makes some of you shudder, but when you’ve got an Instant Pot, all it really entails is tossing a little more of whatever you would’ve added anyway into a pot! Just plug it in, let it do all the work, and store whatever you don’t eat in the fridge or the freezer. (Not so scary, right?)

So go ahead, use your time-saving superpowers for good by making these Instant Pot recipes.

1. Superfood Instant Pot Oatmeal in a Jar

You don’t have to wait until dinnertime to break out the Instant Pot. In just 10 minutes, you can whip up a week’s worth of healthy breakfasts with this superfood oatmeal recipe. Packed with apples, walnuts, and goji berries, these oats are hearty, flavorful, and might keep you from reaching for the day-old donuts someone left in the meeting room.

2. Instant Pot Greek Chicken Quinoa Bowls

Sure, you can cook chicken quickly in an Instant Pot. But more than that, you can cook your grains along with it at the same time. This light, zesty meal makes a delicious go-to dinner for busy weeknights. Bring it into work the next day for a simple lunch that beats anything you’d find near the office.

3. Instant Pot Buffalo Chicken Meatballs

Meatballs are great and all, but who really wants to stand over a pan of popping oil for an hour just to brown a few spheres of meat? Luckily, the Instant Pot’s sauté function means meatballs no longer require such hardship. You can whip up a week’s worth of delicious golden buffalo chicken balls cooked in soft quinoa that have all the taste—without all the spattering oil.

4. Whole30 Instant Pot Seafood Gumbo

Ready for a week long of Mardi Gras? With just 10 minutes of prep time for a big ol’ pot of New Orleans-style Cajun shrimp and bass, this well-seasoned seafood gumbo is where it’s at.

5. Kung Pao Chicken

Packed with sweet and spicy chicken, zucchini, and bell pepper, this Kung Pao chicken recipe gives your go-to take-out meal a run for its money. Eat as is, opt for the Paleo or gluten-free version, or pile on top of jasmine rice or buckwheat soba noodles.

6. Instant Pot Vegan Quinoa Burrito Bowls

Quite honestly, there’s no night we’re not craving burrito bowls. And since this dairy-free, meat-free version is packed with protein, fiber, and flavor, there’s really no reason you shouldn’t satisfy that craving every night. Commit to just five minutes in the kitchen to sauté some onions, toss in some beans and quinoa, top with hella avocado, and you’ll be ready to guac-n-roll your way through the rest of the week.

7. Yellow Split Pea Curry With Brown Rice

Want to keep an entire meal in your pantry? Here’s a meal-prep recipe you can stock your cabinets with months in advance. Fill each jar with dried lentils, split peas, and optional brown rice and cook single serving portions in your Instant Pot in 20 minutes, one prepped jar at a time.

8. Instant Pot Honey Garlic Chicken

This one’s for the Paleo, gluten-free, and refined sugar-free folks… as well as for anyone who ever said chicken was dry. Let the bird marinate in sesame oil, honey, ginger, garlic, and a drop of fish sauce for an unbelievably flavorful chicken. Chow down tonight, and toss on top of a salad, quinoa, or brown rice for an easy lunch tomorrow.

9. Instant Pot Pork Tenderloin With Soy Ginger Sauce

There’s arguably no better way to cook pork tenderloin than in your Instant Pot. Not only does it retain all those good juices, but also it takes less than 25 minutes to bring this sweet and savory dish to the table. Top with lots of green onions and make extra soy ginger sauce so you can put it on everything. And we mean Every. Thing.

10. Instant Pot Cauliflower Mac and Cheese

We all have those weeks where we just want comfort food, and this *oh-so-slightly-healthy* cauliflower mac and cheese won’t let you down. With whole-wheat pasta elbows, cauliflower, and all the cheese, one batch of this will give you enough mac and cheese to fix all of your problems.

11. Instant Pot Dill, Feta, and Broccoli Frittata

It may not be bottomless, but this is the brunch that keeps on giving. Keep Sunday afternoon going all week long with this simple, seven-ingredient egg bake. No oven required.

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some self indulgent orientation head canons

flags from left to right:

Aplatonic (yurio)

Aroace (yurio)

Apothiaroace (otabek)

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we never got to hear his story.

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One more kiss

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on a stroll!

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Being silly!

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Let’s leave together, I’m ready now.

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they have plans jsyk

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“He’s the only one I knew that could pound whiskey like a sailor then keep up with me on the dance floor.”

aka my take on Alastor and Mimzy back when they were still alive!

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arrested for excessive public displays of nudity while inebriated

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hold onto me