#do you know i pray for you? i keep you in my duas bc i dont want to keep this hatred for u in my heart. i dont want to feel anything for u

[what-is-this-bakwaas]

.

[baddiedaddy7]

𝙽𝚎𝚙𝚝𝚞𝚗𝚎 𝙸𝚗 𝙷𝚘𝚞𝚜𝚎𝚜🦄💜

do not plagiarize. all of this is my work.

𝙽𝚎𝚙𝚝𝚞𝚗𝚎 𝙸𝚗 𝙵𝚒𝚛𝚜𝚝 𝙷𝚘𝚞𝚜𝚎

dreamy. big on makeup, enhancing your looks. eyes are usually round/almond. the best feature of their face are their eyes. so many gorgeous girl celebs have this. has a dreamy look, but may also look like a fish tbh lmao. sympathizes w/strangers. usually tender hearted manners, and lovely vibe. shy/reserved. you’re like a sponge. if someone is being bitchy, chances are you will be too. keeps personal life on the down low. can be unrealistic.

celebrities:Kylie Jenner, Marilyn Monroe, Jim Carrey, Denzel Washington

𝙽𝚎𝚙𝚝𝚞𝚗𝚎 𝙸𝚗 𝚂𝚎𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚍 𝙷𝚘𝚞𝚜𝚎

voice is probably chill, or has a soft vibe to it. voice may also be naturally low. remember it’s nice to be generous, but not too generous. don’t just give your money away easily, or to just anybody. make sure the money, or possessions you give away are put to good use. don’t be naive w/your money/possessions. the clothes you buy are probably creative/artsy or discreet/low key. focus on loving yourself. seafood lover or hater lol. might like “weird” foods. indulgent.

celebrities:Jennifer Aniston, Tina Turner, Muhammad Ali, Dwayne Johnson

𝙽𝚎𝚙𝚝𝚞𝚗𝚎 𝙸𝚗 𝚃𝚑𝚒𝚛𝚍 𝙷𝚘𝚞𝚜𝚎

thinks unconventionally. you may lack communication w/siblings. may be great at poetry, writing in general. writing is probably unique, and beautiful. may love the beach or lakes, traveling to places with water lol. siblings may have pisces/neptune influence in their chart. the reserved student. might have a soft spot for math, english, or art classes. visionary.

celebrities:Madonna, Dua Lipa, Keanu Reeves, Ryan Reynolds

𝙽𝚎𝚙𝚝𝚞𝚗𝚎 𝙸𝚗 𝙵𝚘𝚞𝚛𝚝𝚑 𝙷𝚘𝚞𝚜𝚎

parents may have been absent, or neglectful. parents may have also been addicted to substances(alcohol, drugs, even food, etc). parents may have sheltered you from certain things, that you had to learn a different way(puberty, sex in general, etc) might’ve been raised by other ppl than their bio parents, but if it’s positive, parents may have taught you to be creative, and sweet. this indicates the childhood house being near water or wanting it to be, or even being aesthetic lol. may have love fantasy growing up, fantasy movies/shows, mystical creatures, etc. childhood memories may be foggy. you’re distinctive/stand out, but you may also be over-sensitive.

celebrities:Emma Watson, Jessica Alba, Johnny Depp, Robert De Niro

𝙽𝚎𝚙𝚝𝚞𝚗𝚎 𝙸𝚗 𝙵𝚒𝚏𝚝𝚑 𝙷𝚘𝚞𝚜𝚎

may have “pisces” traits in the dating world(wears rose tinted glasses, loving, naive, selfless, etc). try not to put your partner on a pedestal too high, cause then you might be disappointed. you may get too caught up in the moment, so birth control may be your best friend. i’ve heard of ppl w/this placement that had unexpected pregnancies. your hobbies range from painting, singing, inventing, sleeping, binge-watching, daydreaming, hanging out, astrology, and if on the bad side drugs/alcohol. children may have pisces/neptune influence in chart. very artistic ppl.

celebrities:Angelina Jolie,Cameron Diaz, Drake, Elon Musk

𝙽𝚎𝚙𝚝𝚞𝚗𝚎 𝙸𝚗 𝚂𝚒𝚡𝚝𝚑 𝙷𝚘𝚞𝚜𝚎

don’t stress so easily. when stressed, letting your creativity may help how you feel, or just letting it all out(crying, writing in a diary, etc). sleeping probably even helps your stress lmao. may be a vegan/vegetarian since they adore animals sm. neptune rules pisces which is represented by fish, so a fish may be an ideal pet. if not then a cat, as cats are mysterious. may not prioritize their health. may love junk food. likes being an helping hand, so may put themselves out there to help certain organizations, ppl, etc. i feel like these ppl probably shower/bath more than once a day. you’re very considerate.

celebrities:Selena Gomez, Drew Barrymore, Will Smith, John Lennon

𝙽𝚎𝚙𝚝𝚞𝚗𝚎 𝙸𝚗 𝚂𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚑 𝙷𝚘𝚞𝚜𝚎

attracts ppl with pisces/neptune in chart, platonic and/or romantic. enemies also tend to have pisces/neptune energy. ppl you attract may be cheaters/liars, so watch out. they may also be really romantic or obsessive/delusional. you may attract damaged souls, that may end up trying to put their damage on you. make sure to set limits in love. but on the bright side, you may attract ppl w/positive pisces traits(dreamy, selfless, good listener, etc). senseless in love. believes in fairytales. you’re gregarious.

celebrities:Lady Gaga, Mariah Carey, Denise Richards, Ashton Kutcher

𝙽𝚎𝚙𝚝𝚞𝚗𝚎 𝙸𝚗 𝙴𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝𝚑 𝙷𝚘𝚞𝚜𝚎

prefers to fuck ppl they have a connection with. may like to have sex in water(showers, bath, jacuzzi, etc)or near it(beach,lake, etc). sex can take you away from the real world. emotions are powerful. got some psychic shit going on😂. dreams are usually in depth, and interesting. might hide vulnerable side. death may be bc of drugs, alcohol, etc. also you may drown, die in water in general or die in your sleep. death may also be mysterious(going missing, not knowing the cause of death, etc). may be moody.

celebrities:Whitney Houston, Demi Moore, Michael Jackson, George Clooney

𝙽𝚎𝚙𝚝𝚞𝚗𝚎 𝙸𝚗 𝙽𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚑 𝙷𝚘𝚞𝚜𝚎

flexible mind. may go to college for drama, artsy jobs, etc. probably believes in religious miracles. probably loves traveling to places with water, so an island is your best bet/not a landlocked country. may be fascinated w/other cultures. in laws may have pisces traits(positive:loving, good listeners, considerate negative:manipulative/backstabbing, liars, addicted to substances, etc). try not to accidentally join a cult lmao.

celebrities:Rihanna, Miley Cyrus, Heath Ledger, Jimi Hendrix

𝙽𝚎𝚙𝚝𝚞𝚗𝚎 𝙸𝚗 𝚃𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚑 𝙷𝚘𝚞𝚜𝚎

(i’m gonna say “we” cause this is my placement☺️)

if you’re famous, fans will fantasize abt you/crush on you. will have a career where they can express themselves(acting, singing, painting, etc), water related(marines, scuda diver, etc) or one that helps ppl since neptune is selfless(mental health, hospital, paramedic, humanitarian, etc). we can’t decide what we want to do in the future 😂, might even have multiple jobs. we may be known as romantic, sweet/loving, selfless, naive and other pisces traits. we’re usually so creative, and charming that ppl copy off of us(ik that’s said a lot but it’s true), we’re 💫inspiring💫. on the bad side, our reputation can be messed with since ppl make rumors abt us, and neptune rules illusion. good at coming up w/ideas, and inventions. resourceful, but can be off track.

celebrities:Christina Aguilera, Kourtney Kardashian, Matt Damon, Bruno Mars

𝙽𝚎𝚙𝚝𝚞𝚗𝚎 𝙸𝚗 𝙴𝚕𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚑 𝙷𝚘𝚞𝚜𝚎

friends may have neptune/pisces influence. friends are usually toxic. also attracts damaged friends. watch out for who you hang out with/don’t put all your trust into certain ppl. friendship is very important to these ppl, and they’re usually the advice giving friend, or just the one that’s laid back tbh. a lot of your “friends” tend to be 🐍. usually shy as a child, but comes out of shell as they get older. ppl that may crush on you may have pisces/neptune influence often. altruistic, but strange.

celebrities:Zooey Deschanel, Christy Turlington, Zayn Malik, Brad Pitt

𝙽𝚎𝚙𝚝𝚞𝚗𝚎 𝙸𝚗 𝚃𝚠𝚎𝚕𝚏𝚝𝚑 𝙷𝚘𝚞𝚜𝚎

sleeps often. follow your gut feelings. usually empaths. stay away from addictive things. not confident. doesn’t express their feelings. focus on loving yourself, it’s okay to take time for yourself. clairvoyant. you’re a dreamer. enemies take advantage of your/pray on your weakness, are manipulative, and you may also feed of off each other’s toxic energy. enemies may have pisces/neptune in chart. you happen to be self-contained/shy.

celebrities:Megan Fox, Winona Ryder, Bradley Cooper, Prince

[suhyla]

Assalamu alaikum uktiii , i need advice . So I have been feeling doomed a bit because my dad isn’t a good husband and he cheats on my mom a lot never gives her any money and I’m trying to take it upon myself to change that and I’ve tried believe me and I’m trying to see if I can keep praying making dua for my mom and for my dad to change and if It still hopeless what else is there to do ? If i can’t change the situation is there anything else that I can do ? I just hate seeing my mother in this state you know . And also Bc of my dads consequences i suffered and so has my brother and sister

Wa alaykum as salam sister,

I’m so sorry that you’re going through this. I’m sending you hugs and prayers, and assure you that as frustrating and hopeless as it may feel, Allah is with you. It’s horrible to when our loved ones are trials for us, but believe me— you will see the fruits of your patience in the dunya and akhirah inshaAllah.

Now— easier said than done, but when people we love do hurtful things, it’s important to sit and acknowledge the fact that we are not responsible for their actions. Cheating and mistreating family are unacceptable actions no matter the circumstance, and no one is responsible for that but him. He will be called to account for his actions before Allah, and he will see its effects in the dunya and akhirah.

However as much as you want him to change, acknowledge the fact that only he can decide to change. If someone he respects can advise him, great. But at the end of the day, a wrongdoer won’t ever change unless he decides to change. Make duaa that he repents and that Allah guides him. Then it’s important to move on and put yourself, your mother and your siblings first. Center yourself so that you can alleviate some of the emotional suffering that comes with this disappointment in your father. You don’t have to forgive him, because I understand how hard it could be in these circumstances. But try to let go of the anger inside you, for you. It truly causes so much suffering to wake up every day wishing for other people to change. We have no control over what they do and wanting to change it only brings us misery. We leave him to Allah. I’m addition to asking Allah to guide him to stop this huge sin, focus on asking Allah to improve your situation, to protect you and your family from him, to give you the patience to deal with him, etc. Centering yourself in your duaas will be really helpful and give you mental space away from him, so that you aren’t limiting your own sense of self because of your father.

I feel like this is an important step for your own mental and emotional health. Other factors, including financial independence, divorce, counseling, etc. vary from person to person and I don’t know what your personal/family circumstances are. I’m not sure how old you are, where you’re based, but you may want to increase your financial literacy, reach out to people that you trust as a safety net so decrease your family’s dependence on your father, explore resources available in your community, etc.

These are most important thoughts that came to mind, although I’m sure there is much more to be said. Please forgive and correct me if I said anything that isn’t helpful. If anyone else can share tips or advice that could help her, please do so.

I can’t imagine what you’re going through and am certain that with every moment of pain, there will be an even greater moment of joy to compensate for it in the dunya and akhirah. I’m sorry that your father is not who you need him to be and hope that he can stop what he’s doing to show up for you and your family. And I hope that you, your mom and siblings are able to find ways to grow and flourish outside of him. If you’d like to chat, please do message me as I know this is much more complex and that you must be under a lot of emotional distress. Again, I’m sending you many hugs and duaas, and don’t lose hope in Allah’s mercy.

[ihatecispeople]

i had a discussion about a stipend competition with the convenyor for the competition in my school at uni and she said my idea is super good, she thinks my references will butter me up super well, and she thinks i have a real shot at it (i got the info previously that they would prefer ppl that have already graduated so they have their full grades but she confirmed they’ll treat me on my expected grades which is first class!!!!!!!). she also said i should be much more proud of the grades i got in stylistics bc the prof that gave me such high grades is like super picky in giving out good grades (i didnt know so ive been downplaying it LOL) and that i should consider myself on track for a first (i have 4 As (2, 3, 4, 5) and 2 high Bs (B1 in both) when ive considered myself a upper second class student lol so i feel a little less inferiority complex rn.... and she said that if i win i dont have to worry about being international or a settled person or an EU recident (apart from VISA, which wont be an issue to apply to) for the masters + phd since all fees are waived AND you get a living stipend, which is rly nice because i rly cant afford the cost myself and i wanna stay in the UK (rly, scotland) for a few more years for trans health related reasons 💀💀💀💀 i JUST got put on the queue for top surgery.

im creaming my pants tho sorry for rambling i know i’ve forgotten something important too but anyways the deadline is jan 7th and we’re gonna start working on it right now effective immediately since the conveyor (also my lecturer in phonetics lol) wants me to have the draft done in 2 weeks. i’m literally gonna convince my diss supervisor to be a referent for me tomorrow and im asking an older phd student for their successful application a few years back.

also she said i can do a postgrad research instead of postgrad taught bc ive taken all requisite courses i need (2 sociolin, 2 phonetics, neuroling and will take experimental data analysis (+ the fun courses i took in stylistics and semantics)) which is an MPhil diss+degree of 35k (instead of MSci at 14k) with the right requirements to do a phd for 3 years. so i’m all like. lmao. i am not gonna wish for it because (retracted) energies but i will maybe ask my mother to keep me in her duas 🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿 if you’re the kind of person to pray for people please keep me in your thoughts and prayers if ur faith/spirituality allows for it!!!!!!!!

[grabyoursnickers]

Happy belated birthday to you. I know, im a day late but i did that on purpose. I wanted to be the last one to wish you this year. Yesterday kinda hit me harder as the memories hit me. Every year on your birthday, i always wanted to be the first one to wish you bcs i dont want anyone else to be the first one. So i stopped doing the things that i did, even if in the class or work, i stopped for awhile just to call you. It was a good old times for me. Like before this, i have always loved to write a long text for your birthday or any celebration that we had. But this time i will make it as short as i can. I dont have anything to give you this year but only my dua for you. I pray that Allah will continue to strengthen you, increase your righteous deeds and grant you a good health as you grow older. My dua will never stop here, it will always continue to be with you, insyaAllah. The last time we talked, you said you are getting engaged soon. I hope everything will be going on smoothly for your engagement and your wedding preparation too. I couldnt thank you enough for all the things you have done for me. For picking me up when i was at the lowest point of my life and witnessing every milestones. Pls keep being yourself, the one who is kind, independent, strong and of course, the garang one. I regret for treating you badly. I never stop thinking about it even till now. I am really sorry for everything, i really do. Happy belated birthday again. May Allah keep you and your loved ones safe no matter where you guys are, insyaAllah.

[chroniclesmuslim]

February 10th, 2018

**real names have been changed for the sake of privacy. YES i changed the name of my muslim crush and friends to christian names. If you have any advice for me or any comments, please feel free to leave them. just a regular muslim girl trying to find love (the halal way)

So nothing really has changed since i made my last update. I texted him yesterday and initiated conversation. I kinda felt weird doing it though since this whole scenario is weird in general. i'm used to him hitting me up in the mornings while he’s at work and starting a convo and tbh i think the main reason why i feel kinda iffy about messaging him first is because he had also told me in his "tbh" moment that the reason he wasnt 100% interested in the beginning was because he felt off about how i initiated us talking from the beginning. that a girl should make a guy feel lucky to have her and that he also figured that since i was the first to make the initial move, that must’ve meant i've done this in the past with other guys.

kinda funny though considering he's the first guy i've ever tried talking to. im sure he realized after the thursday meeting (if he was still unsure) that i've never done this before. highlighted by my awkwardness + shyness. i remember there was a moment where there was a silence and i looked up to him looking at me. which kinda freaked me out and made me look down, and when i looked up again he was still staring at me. and legit i looked up and down for a solid 10-15 seconds. ugh im legit sooo awkward lol why can't i talk. but on a side note i just found out that some guys find a girl being shy as "cute". i hardly think he thought my behavior was cute though lol more so annoying for the fact that we ARE friends and i didnt know how to act like one.

i know that even though when i met him on monday for the first time (since like last year), i was even more shy. I would cover my face and mouth with my hands and not look at him that much. but he was able to control the conversation and kept making jokes etc etc. that was the main difference between the first meeting and the second. i was less shy in the second meeting but i guess my awkwardness was rubbing off onto him. i dont know how it'll go this week (heck idk if we'll even still meet) but i hope that i can be more myself and show him that im not as boring and awkward as ive been making myself out to seem. and i also hope he can take control again for when i DO slip up and get quiet.

but anyways back to the whole texting thing. i messaged him and it has been kinda choppy. tbh the flow of our texts is kinda similar to the flow of how our meeting went. choppy and silent lol. i keep thinking that he probably regrets talking to me and that he doesn't really wanna have communication with me anymore. it makes me feel sad. i want to bounce back at least through our texts but im not sure how to anymore. i forgot how we used to talk and how we used to be able to talk about nothing for hours. i dont know how to do that anymore which is weird considering that its only been 2 days since i was last able to. again i guess he's being nice about it but i feel like he's partly ignoring me again. like how he used to ignore me last semester. the only thing that made me kind of optimistic was how he mentioned that if i ever do come to see his dad at their store, his dad might think i was a druggie or something since not many desis come around to that area. he was basically trying to make a joke about my presence at the store after talking to his dad about another muslim customer that walked in. so that means he at least thought of me when he was joking with his dad. and then he sent me a snap afterwards of a song on the radio. which made it feel normal again.

i guess i might be overthinking everything but i KNOW that this next meeting will probably determine how things will go. i dont want to mess it up and i've been thinking of different ways to go about it. i wanted to text him and tell him how it's just hard for me to be myself with him in person still and i need to feel a little more comfortable around him before we can develop a flow in our conversations and stuff but then i figured i might as well tell him that in person. so at least thats one conversation we can have the next time i see him. plus he's a nice guy, one of the good ones, so i feel like if i told him how i genuinely feel and acknowledge the fact that im uncomfortable then he might feel the need to make me more comfortable. i also told “Amanda” about everything and she wants to come make a "guest appearance" the next time we meet up to kinda help navigate the conversation and make me feel more at ease with her presence.

i also DONT want to meet again at the cafeteria on campus. first of all, its soooo hard for me to hear him when we're in there. i guess bc of the kitchen and of the starbucks line and everyone sitting and talking near us and the fans overhead etc etc. i realized that one of the main reasons why our conversation was so choppy was also because i had made a mental list of everything i wanted to talk to him about (in hopes of not running out of something to say) but because of my list, i kept jumping from one topic to the next without actually stopping to LISTEN to what he had to say and then ask him a follow up question. like how the heck do i forget how to listen??? such common knowledge but of course i effed up on that too lol. another reason why i dont want to meet at the cafeteria is because i dont like sitting right across from him, it feels like we are in an interview and it doesn't help me relax but makes things worse for me. plus there's nothing to really do at the cafeteria. he eats only zabihah so we cant even order food. i was thinking maybe we could go to the gameroom and play a card game like uno or something. i know he wanted to go to the gym on campus and sit on the benches for the basketball court so we had more "privacey" aka not as many people around to bump into us lol but that's also kind of scary. because then we can't have a break and talk about someone we just saw and we would also be forced to pay 100% attention to each other. i dont know if i want him to pay that much attention to me when im acting all goofy the way that i am. but i know that if we go to the gym it would make more sense if “Amanda” bumped into us since she's always there exercising to begin with.

i just hope he hasn't given up hope on me. it's so weird to think about where we were a few days ago to where we are now. we were so comfortable and honest with each other. we still are honest and stuff but we aren't talking as much. we aren't sharing things anymore. it kind of feels like we are preparing for things to not work out. but i want things to work out. I know “Bill” and “Samantha's” relationship in the beginning was similar to ours. but they had the opportunity to see each other multiple times throughout the week so they got over this phase quicker. we only have the chance to maybe see each other once a week and since its a hassle for him to begin with he might just figure it's best to give up on the whole idea. i dont want him to give up on me.

i just realized its 12:01 AM and i missed Isha namaaz. so i have to make that up. i've been praying for him in my duas. before i would pray for his MCAT score and either an acceptance to medical school or for Allah swt to show him a path that will be the most beneficial and satisfying to him and his deen. now im starting to pray again and make dua that if we are meant to be then make it easy for us. (also for us to be meant for each other lol). i guess the reason why i feel so strongly for him is bc i haven't met any guy or even heard of another guy as hard working as him, as focused as him, as god fearing as him. we match in what we want in this dunyaa. and when i think about him in my future i see someone that i can pray with and be happy with. someone that i can feel safe with. i just hope he doesn't give up on me.

just take it one day at a time.

[zaynseyelash]

Yeah could you tell us the story please

So dear anon, you want to know what happened. Okay, hold on tight cause it's a wild ride.So, I'm in my car about to leave uni, keep in mind it's around 5/6 so magrib time. I know that if I leave now it'll take me an hour/hour and a half to drive home because of peak hour traffic. So I say to myself why not just do majirb at the musallah and then go home, and so I park my car and go into the musallah do wudu and then do namaz. Nothing eventful there, as I'm finishing, doing dua and making my mind up to leave this girl appears out of nowhere next to me. Like honestly I did not see her come in while praying, she just randomly appeared. But anyway, I'm like fair enough there's heaps of Muslims on campus and it is magrib time. I finish my dua and redo my scarf, getting ready to leave. Then she starts talking. Looking back I curse extrovert Aysha for talking to her, i hate extroverted Aysha cause she could of spared herself this strange experience. Anyway, she starts talking to me. Everything seems normal at first. She says Salam, asks how I am and what I'm doing and I do the same. Then she tells me I look so pretty in a scarf and I should wear it more often. At this point I'm puzzled bc I wear it all the time hunny? And she's like yeah you should wear it ALLL the time it's really good for you. Okay. So maybe she had a long day, I mean everyone at uni is a step away from a mental break down so maybe today is her day. Keep in mind that the musallah is empty. I'm sure there's no guys behind the curtain and there's no ladies walking in. So it's basically me and this random who keeps insisting I should wear the scarf all the time. She then goes on to say that she can make me a Muslim. That she has the power to make me a Muslim. She said that I can take the shahda and be a Muslim. Now I'm not sure if she's just fucking with me or is serious. She keeps insisting that I repeat after her while I keep insisting that I am fullyu Muslim, I was born a Muslim. But no she keeps insisting, even taking both my hands in hers. And let me say, her hands were hot. Like super hot. Maybe my hands were just cold as it was approaching winter but her hands were hot enough to make it uncomfortable for me. Keep in mind I hate physical contact with stranger. I don't like people touching me or taking my hands. So I'm like I really need to get home it's getting late. At this point it's almost 6:15 and it's getting dark outside. And she asks me why. I said it's getting dark I should get home my parents will be worried. She tells me that there's no problem, and if my parents are Muslim, like I say they are then they shouldn't be worried bc Allah will protect me. I'm like yeah I know Allah will protect me but I need to use my common sense and get home before it gets too dark. But she keeps insisting I stay, saying I should trust in Allah. And that if I'm a good girl I have nothing to worry about. Every time I go to get up she pulls me back down and I'm gettinf EXTREMELY uncomfortable as she's done this at least three times and there's nobody around. Then she says that she is not a Jinn. And she is not the shaytaan. It's at this point my mind was like !!!!! Because why would she say that? Also then two ladies come in and pause at the curtain that covers the door. They look at me and then leave before I can say hi to them and use that as an excuse to leave. Why did they leave??? I don't know. She then insists that we do dua together and I'm like I REALLY need to go and almost push her off me and leave, grabbing my stuff ignoring her asking me to stay. What's also weird is that my dad called me several times and my phone was set to vibrate. I didn't feel my phone vibrate once while it was in my pocket. By the time I left it was at least quarter to 7 and dark outside. My parents were worried and I didn't get any sleep that night. So there's my weird ass story. Maybe it's weird because I hate social interactions outside of my comfort zone. Maybe I was hallucinating. Maybe she really was a Jinn. All I can say is that I never saw her on campus again.

[imaanoverdesires]

so sorry but this is the last one!! is there anything i can do? i feel so sick when i think about the things that happened. even tho hes my husband i feel.. like ive done something terrible. i keep trying to convince myself that im overreacting and its my fault that i didnt say no in the beginning or its my fault bc i dont necessarily enjoy that act. ive been so depressed and my anxiety has gotten worse. praying 5 times a day and making dua is the only thing helping me. im so sorry abt all this

(3/3)

———

و عليكم السلام و رحمة الله و بركاته

Im sorry sister if it took so long to reply since its not something easy to answer. And also i asked for helps to some other sisters too, and here’s our answers…

•••

It doesnt sound weird at all, dont worry about it.

im sorry it took me so long to answer; i actually read it earlier but i had to think a lot what to answer.

and im sorry about your situation, may Allah make it easy. Have you tried talking to your husband? i think if he is religious, he would understand. it could be that he is not even aware of your negative feelings, because for men its different, and maybe he hasnt had experience with women so he doesnt know what its like for us. So it can be that he didnt do it to hurt you, but simply didnt know better.

You keep saying ‘tried’, does that mean he stopped when he saw that youre not ready?

Also ukhti please try to remember that shaytaan loves causing problems between a husband and a wife, and it might be that he is trying to make you feel like having marital relations (in a halal way) is something terrible and wrong.

does he know about your depression and anxiety? id suggest you talk to him about that, explain how youre feeling and tell about your needs and how you want to get to know him more. men are the maintainers and protectors of women, and in shaa Allah he will be just that and so much more to you.

may Allah bless your marriage and grant it happiness and love ukhti 💛

also by the way, when you feel like your ready, you should remember proper foreplay, so itll in shaa Allah be easier as women are more sensitive in this matter.