#do you ppl really care about not being weird and shitty online or do you just not want to be on the ''evil side'' of your little war

[daemophagia]

I don't usually look into or care about fandom drama but sometimes I do think it's funny when ppl go "is this proship or not?" like. Idk man maybe if you were less worried about silly fandom arguments and thought about things on your own you would have come to the conclusion on whether what you're doing is okay or not a good while ago

[genderqueerdykes]

I kind of want to start using noun pronouns but I feel like it's not really something a 26 year old does.

Like on the one hand I don't (want to) give a shit about what other people think, if they think it's "weird" or "cringe" they can think that.

On the other, and maybe it's just cause I haven't looked hard enough or whatever, but a lot of the uncommon pronouns or genders feel like they're coming mostly from teenagers, or that like mostly teens identify with these and it's just kind of a struggle to find like-minded people or like idek where to start finding them.

I know I'm nowhere near queer elder aged but it would be nice to see people my age or older using these identities and words.

you know, i wanted to say from the bottom of my heart, deeply, that i am sorry that you have been made to feel that way, i know like. the way people act online and talk to one another can be very hostile so i get that it can be scary. you don't have to stop having fun and enjoying things after 25 though. life doesn't have to stop being fun once u hit 30. the idea of "weird identity = young person / person who only exists online," is a tactic used by shitty ppl to dismiss less common identities as non existent/less important to pit queer ppl against one another and as a way to aggressively pretend we don't exist at all

normally i try extremely hard to be nebulous about things but i am older than that and i use zie/hir, it/its, ey/em, xe/xem, fae/faer and fey/feyr, pup/pups, the dog and wolfself pronouns, and identify as nonbinary, a boydyke, lesboy, genderqueer, androgyne, transfemasc, dykefag, a lesbian who is partially a man, demiguy, demigirl, and so on. i have a friend in their 30s who uses fae/faer pronouns, another friend in their 30s who identifies as a demigirl, and a lot more friends who are older who identify with "weird" identities. i know so many people in their 30s and 40s who identify as bigender, polygender, hell, even catgender, spacegender...

it's not something that's isolated to youth, i promise. you don't have to feel like you have to stop having fun with your identity or just literally being yourself once you hit a certain age barrier. you're allowed to do that for yourself, i promise. take care, stay safe, good luck in your journey. you will find these things don't rly fade with age ppl just tell you that

[rottytops]

i definitely think the adhd medication (successfully) rewired my brain and made me seek out long term goals over short term pleasure like i have been literally my entire life so now my current goals are to unfuck my credit to move away from my shitty roomies, get my new car and actually get into an ltr lmao

SUPRISINGLY ENOUGH 2 of these 3 goals are either in progress or very obtainable ive been saving a tunna cash and i can get a new car next month after i get my license renewed and ive found this cute little studio that i can maybe move into if i get help co-signing it, then ill just camp out there until my loans are paid off in 50000 years

the last one though.,,,,its so weird. the like. burning fervor to date someone long term kinda slugged me in the back of the head! ive always WANTED a nice relationship but it was never a PRIORITY to me bc i had video games or whatever. these new feelings made me realize ive been living my life like. entirely for myself which is FINE but my standards for myself (combined with how ADHD made me content with literally anything as long as it was easy) make me like. gutter trash tier as a partner, i think. essentially as i am now, unless the other person is equal parts deranged and shitty, im utterly unlovable which is like. tough tits i guess. but if im honest about it i can at least try to change it. part of me is conflicted; if i have to change myself to become more datable, is the person really dating me, or am i just creating a false persona to get conditional love. its a scary thought but at the same time im not really changing MYSELF past getting in shape and taking care of my skin, its more im giving up on being a dopamine addicted manchild and getting my own apartment. with my own car and stuff...these are actually just completely normal goals to have and i already wanted them i just kinda have new motivation for it lmao!

you cant just force a relationship and theres no way im attracting the hoes to me in my shitty room, so i think i need to??? go??? outside??? and hang out with ppl??? utterly mortifying but when i get my car next month i think i can actually do that. id like to make more irl friends as well, i had a bunch of friends in college so. i guess ill go to more smash locals or something but outside of that sigh sigh i have no idea.

these major revelations have all hit me in like the past 2 weeks, since i started my medication and the dosage was upped, i have a lot of work to do and not that much time to do it, really!!!! i hope i can become someone like. worth keeping around in a few months time...!!! the pieces are there i just need to like, put them together....



i could write a whole thing on how mad i am that it took me so long to get medicated and how fast i became a Normal Person after being on meds but like idk that line of thinking doesnt help anybody...!! i accomplished so much even with my debilitating ADHD and now i can do so much more with a mindset that can actually handle the shit neurotypical people expect me to be able to do, considering how im literally good at everything, combined with how ive managed to survive this long with almost no real help from irl people (seriously ive gotten more assistance from my online friends than literally anybody in my family both financially and emotionally) means that me WITH medication is gonna go absolutely insane. im going to be like ultra rich this time next year, probably LMAO....or at least have a boyfriend AURHUFG



anyway if u read this for some reason i love u and also give me ideas on going out and meeting people, i think i can hold a conversation just fine but where do people even GO. do you guys think ppl at bars or whatever know about disgaea. hmmm.

[stonebutchwritings]

I didn't hear about this until recently, but I had to leave that femme server after your partner sent a photo of a bra on the ground and brought up having loud sex. I don't know why anyone would think that's okay in a server that is supposed to be SFW. I know I'm not the only one they made uncomfortable

gonna separate this into two parts: 1. a rebuttal of the idea that my femme ever acted predatory and 2. a sincere apology and hope for you on behalf of the mods and my femme.

1.

1) that was in a conversation about being stone in a content warninged situation where literally the MODS were participating. STONENESS IS INHERENTLY SEXUAL AND THE MODS WERE PARTICIPATING?? but regardless bras alone are not sexual??? are u realizing u can see a bra in walmart?? they are also sometimes for children so its really weird to sexualize... a bra? without anything even in it??? this is a free the nipple page so like. you’re not going to get anyone with that??

2) there was just an allusion to it (youre making it sound rlly graphic when she just said, under a fucking content warning and spoiler, that she left a window open and was embarrassed bc ppl might have heard "something" which might literally have not even been abt sex if she hadn't content warned), and she deleted it as soon as she was told it was a sfw server?? there werent even rules on the server yet. even the mods said it wasn't explicitly nsfw when they contacted her and she deleted it, they just said it was probably going to trigger someone's boundaries, which isn't something anyone can predict ESP autistic ppl.

i get that you’re uncomfortable but under the banner of sfw there are so many things that ppl are confused abt, and it's completely normal for ppl to send things that are on the fence. i talked abt my upcoming phalloplasty before i on my own was like oh maybe ill move this to an 18+ server. it's normal to have conflicts and confusions esp when there's not any clear defined and specific rules (or rules at all at the time of that last thing). demonization isn’t going to help you at all? you have every right to be uncomfortable and not want to be in a situation but calling someone fucking predatory because you have personal boundaries they werent aware of or able to control is really shitty? is this how you deal with every interpersonal conflict? like someone doesn't trigger tag because they didn’t know and you call them ableist? regardless the mods are supposed to be able to navigate these situations with care and discuss things clearly so as to accommodate autistic individuals and make sure that people grow. my gf would’ve never deleted anything if no one ever told her that it wasn’t allowed, and she would’ve probably posted something else alluding to something else even if in another way-- by your expressions of what you believe to be right to do you would prefer she be uncorrected and keep expressing unknown harm to others because your solution is just. remove her? which creates more harm by isolation?

cw sexual abuse

my femme is a survivor of online sexual and interpersonal abuse of power by an adult towards a child and it's really fucked to imply that about someone who is literally saying stuff that is completely allowed when being discussed (there were no rules at the time of 2nd one) and also sfw if viewed in the light of others. your boundaries are not anticipated and neither are the boundaries of the server. communication is key, and it wasn’t present here as the mods seemed to change their own rules around.

cw over

2.

that being said i’m really sorry you felt uncomfortable and i’m sorry the mods didn’t create a comfortable envirionment for you by being more responsible with having a space with minors (rules should've been there from the get-go) and making sure that there were clear and defined rules (allusions and content warnings not allowed). it's also completely upsetting that they would change the boundaries up on you by allowing a convo on stoneness when they didn't allow that earlier/later. i hope you have friends to lean on and respond to this with and my femme is also very sorry you experienced that. if you don’t feel comfortable dm'ing for resources on processing interpersonal discomfort and feelings of harm around sex pls reach out to someone or do your own research, i would highly recommend that. my femme would also personally apologize if you feel comfortable with that but again, bc of your experience of harm with my femme that's def not necessary unless you want it.

[ghostcrows]

the thing that i’ve always found irritating about the people iding as bi-gay / bi-lesbian is that there seemed to be this thought that people online who didnt like their combination labels was this novel form of bigotry separate from homophobia and biphobia. also sometimes they are really fucking weird about trans people. but overall agree that making a stink about other peoples identities is a stupid waste of time when we should like.. be advocating for All Of Us even and ESPECIALLY people in our communities that we don’t understand. like no i am not going to id as pansexual but the fact that my experiences as a bi person are the same as those of pan peoples gives me all the more reason to get over my misgivings and respect them.

Yeah I mean I definitely get it if ppl are just using it to be transphobic and weird

I kind of do understand why people would be like what that doesn't make sense too like yknow "words mean things" type deal . Like sure, I agree, they do, but like. Yknow it's complicated. And using a word 'wrong' shouldn't make you public enemy number one autonatically.. cause if your definition doesn't fit someone else's then you're obviously on different wavelengths so just .. don't bother

It's just that I'm beyond caring what "makes sense" because ultimately none of us "make sense" to the people who oppress us right like so what do I fucking care if one person makes way less "sense" than I do when we're all the enemy to people in power . Why does it matter who calls themselves what pronouns or who calls themselves butch or who uses bi or pan or omni or fucking like whatever. I can use my own discretion to decide if someone is doing it in a shitty weird way or if they're just being harmlessly, different

It's like so many of us want to be able to define the borders because we never get to out in the world . Everyone wants to be Chief Gay In Charge Of If You Can Call Yourself Masc With A Tumblr Account

[spacebitz]

im really sorry that people are being weird and talking about you behind your back thats really shitty. i hate seeing people be affected by assholes online like this because theres SO many better things that they could be doing than harrassing other people.

take care of yourself and know that their opinions in no way represent the opinions of everyone!

🥲🥲 💖 thank you… idk, it was weird bc that person in that post i made started the conversation with me? but then that other anon told me to “block ppl i don’t like” but i legit told the person i was talking to that and was getting hate for it..??? im so confused and distraught, i don’t really understand whats going on 😅 i think i just shouldn’t have mentioned ppl bot voting. i hate bot voting in competitions so i was just upset that it was happening but ig that’s a bad opinion to have? thanks anon, i really appreciate this, it means a lot :D

[astralartefact]

dawntrail fanfest thoughts (& prayers) Part III Tokyo

Part 1 >>> here Part 2 >>> here

Pictomancer I didn't think they would do it. In my FF16-induced realism-is-a-blight doom and gloom I had given up on it and settled on Green Mage. But they did it. The mad man actually went and did it.

I'm so happy. This is great. Krile, you're looking great. I'm so happy for you and your 1 (one) line in the trailer.

That being said I still have to warm up to the aesthetic, it's sadly not exactly my cup of tea. And I do mean the in-game stuff, if the magic looked anything like in the trailer or in the artwork I would have 0 problems whatsoever, but the cartoony 3D ink drops everywhere are just a little much for me. As the Pseudo-Intellectual that I have become I was hoping it would go into a more... subtle "symbolism and the power of evocation through art" sort of thing and the style they went for in-game is... certainly a choice somebody made - but I have had a few minutes to get my thoughts about it in order and have since accepted that this is probably for the best actually, making it more cartoony makes a class concept like this probably a lot more inviting to people that don't really care all that much about art and if Pictomancer makes more people realize that everything, even and especially "shitty scribbles" by people who haven't held a brush in their life, everything you create is valuable art no matter its "worth" and that you don't have to be good at art or do it as a job to be allowed to have fun doing it and create something meaningful then I'm more than fine with it!

Also there are already a number of good Job FX mods out there and I'm fully expecting someone to make a good one for Picto at some point so eh I'll survive!

Krile They gave you one entire line. A grunt. At least you're on the Akihiko Yoshida Artwork for once.

The German Stuff Listen. When I heard him say Doitsu my ears perked up. This is our moment, we're finally being acknowledged for once! And as somebody invested in the DE localization it was actually really nice to hear that the legacy job titles from the older FFs are actually treated with the same caution as the english ones because that's the only localization where that's ever really talked about.

So seeing some english people complain that talking about it was a waste of time better spend on more important things stung a little bit.

I cannot tell you how existentially weird it is to exist as a german player playing this game in german while also 'interacting' with the fandom online, not even because of different writing choices creating different nuances in the story - but even just because of fundamental terms. Best example is actually the new zone "Heritage Found" - It's not called that in German. It's called "Ewiges Erbe" ('Eternal Legacy', and I'm choosing Legacy instead of Inheritance here because that's the japanese subtitle of Dawntrail and I think that parallel is intentional) and you know how I found that out? Because I stumbled over this name I never heard before on the german dawntrail website, then had to piece together "right there was a new zone, it's probably that" and then a short while later saw it confirmed on the german twitter. I don't get it in big letters right above the japanese name on a pretty picture right there in the livestream - I have to seek that shit out myself and hope they actually put it somewhere in case of the PLLs where they don't tweet everything right away. English speaking players don't have to do that. Even in PPLs you always get the actually important stuff right on screen. And yet some of you have the gall complain that they don't live translate every single word YoshiP says for you as if you're always on the verge of missing out on some crucial information. German and French only players have to wait for the twitter to post their translated slides - and even then they don't translate all of those either because not all of them are actually all that relevant.

Anyways, sorry for venting, but I feel like it's important. The work these other localization teams do is hard work too and deserves the same respect the english one gets even if it's "not as good" (which it isn't. because they're better than EN....!!!!!1111)

(Also just as a reminder, the quality of the VAs has nothing to do with the quality of the Localization. English Video Game VA's are at another level industry-vise compared to other (european) languages and you can't just compare them as if they work the same. I'm honestly just glad we even still get german voice over at all at this point, mostly even just because I'm absolutely sure the VAs do their best)

Hrothgar Ladies It feels right. They got it right. They did the right thing. No notes.

Actually one note, their racial top has Nomura amounts of Zippers and I love it.

The Ultimate Kind of surprised they didn't do Four Lords+Koryuu? But I guess now that they broke with conventions they can just do it later if they want to? Like I didn't expect a Stormblood MSQ Ultimate at all - even if the first ultimates weren't on the level of a Dragonsong War they were still at least 'sensical' in their setting and there's just absolutely no way to make sense of an Ultimate based around Susanoo, Lakshmi, Tsukuyomi and Shinryu that wouldn't just be "this all happened in one expansion". Like those things didn't even happen in the same war lol

I could have maybe seen an Kojin Treasures Ultimate featuring Surprise Guest Amaterasu or something, but even then only if they had done Omega vs. Shinryu as Omega's Ultimate. I personally only see Shinryu happen in a Zenos or a Endsinger Ultimate, as much as I want Shinryu to get one too, because outside of that he's just not connected to anything else.

That being said. Eden Ultimate.

Make the last phase gay, Yoshi P. I want superpowered Gaia to grow two more arms so she can bridal carry superpowered Ryne while swinging her hammer around, fighting together on the FF8 ending flower meadow as the final Phase. Come on, make them canon gay but only in a non-canon Ultimate!!!

The Lore Okay. I have to say I'm awash from the revelations in this Fanfest. On one hand I wish they kept the tech stuff secret because what a reveal that would have been in-game - and I'm wondering if they were considering not showing anything because it's not in the trailer at all - but personally speaking...

I love it. This actually invigorated my love for this game a little bit after I lost it for a second following Myths of the Realm. Fuck Eulogia.

Because while I was perfectly fine with this last arc (even though the community is big mad about it for no good reason), a big worry I still had about this game's lore is that we started to become the Main Character of the Universe. It made the world seem so small that things only happen when we go there and they always work out perfectly on our terms. Like the big scary thought I had was that we now visit the other places that are left for us and we know everything better than them. We just found the only remnants of Amaurot and we're the only ones knowing that shards exist and therefore try to travel in between them - stuff like that.

Like I want to meet another of our shards that knows certain integral things about the ancients that we just never found out. Maybe two shards have had shard travel between each other this whole time, we just haven't figured out how to do that yet while they have. They have made their own discoveries about this world, this universe and its history just like we have and they know stuff we just don't while we know stuff they don't.

Even stuff like Allag being the one big civilization of the past got tiring to me - because clearly there were others that they fought against and those people must have had similar technological pursuits even just by seeing what Allag made. So I disagree with people implying that this new tech 'should have been Allagan' or something along those lines - No, it explicitly can't be or this world building turns into more of a joke than Myths of the Realm already made it.There were other people on this world too - and when this expansion is literally called Golden Legacy in Japanese we have to talk about the legacy of this land - and Allag never was here, so who was?

So there being another ancient super civilisation is a great thing to me. Also I just like Science Fantasy. The only way they could make this better for me personally was if they leaned more into modern 'translations/interpretations' of medieval wear instead of just doing 1-to-1 modern wear.

Solution Nine Okay, so here's my prediction. I say the city is a virtual space in that tower. These people, whoever they are (there are already so many good theories out there but that's not what I'm about), are stuck in there after they were put there to protect them from something - that's why it's Solution Nine (I know it's a name from FF9, but it's still the 9th solution) and that's what the Eliminator is for, either keeping them in or something else out. (Btw, that model is sexy as fck. I'm so torn between wanting Valigarmandr weapons and wanting Eliminator weapons)

Now, judging from the fact that the old-looking Tuliyollal-like civilization has clearly settled around the 'modern' structures in Heritage Found it's safe to say that this thing has been here for a while. People are also speculating that the sigil on the Arcadion concept art (banger btw, i'm so excited for what's in there) - which I could see? But while that sigil might be red it looks nothing like the other ones we have seen so far who were all relatively similar to each other - but then again keep in mind that Arcadia is of course a fictional utopia just like Amaurot and Eden so I don't think it's too far fetched to think Ascians could be meddling here once again.

So okay. Here's my wishful thinking in all of this. What if the woman (Who is she?) on top of the Poster is Altima/Deudalaphon (I pray it's the architect one) and she's either gone rogue and decided to help these people to save them from whatever they were scared off (which I want to happen so badly one of these days. I want an Ascian who's ahead of the curve and is already trying to fix things before we get there) - or she's evil and trapped them in there and that's Tural's legacy.

(omg what if that's the thesis. what if we figure out that tural somehow runs on people being trapped in this thing and the people living outside have to grapple with that being their legacy... maybe they do ff16 again but this time in good bc ishikawa is there to actually keep it together.... let me dream for a second okay)

The Diversity of it all Listen. After FF16's "narrative" about discrimination turning out a hot mess I was not expecting anything from YoshiP ever again when it comes to that sort of thing.

But I have to say, the way he clearly addressed "Hey, the way dark skin worked previously was bad and now that we have the chance to fix it we tried our best to address it" was great. Like that's the shit we love to see. (that being said i think you could turn yshtolas skin color back after her time in the sun in dawntrail i haven't forgotten about that yet)

I still think that Dawntrail shouldn't be this close to White Savior stuff and I do expect it to miserably fumble at least a few times - but I guess I have a little bit of hope that maybe it's not going to be as bad as it could be. Which is a low bar, I admit. And the fact they haven't shown us a single Whalaqee has to mean something, right? Maybe, somebody has thought about what they're doing for a second. Maybe.

Honestly, after Myths of the Realm I don't know how likely that is.

Cosmo Explorer No clue. Why did they delay this to Tokyo and then still show absolutely nothing? This is going to be another Island situation where people get crazy cool ideas and it just turns out to be gathering lite on a randomized map.

Honestly, also don't know how I feel about having this be our little interstellar colonization sim in the Expansion about going to Fantasy America to specifically talk about Legacy. But... I guess? Sure?

The art for it was nice though? Even though I thought at first that we were going to build a theme park on the dark side of the moon Ishgard Restoration style - and honestly that's a banger concept, please go ahead and steal that. Also I'm always scared when YoshiP says "you can do this solo but it's meant to be done together" because that's how he described Eureka and Blue Mage and both are definitely NOT what I would call a "solo" experience.

Beastmaster Same thing as above? Why did you not have Sakaguchi announce it in London when he was one of its biggest, most outspoken proponents? Just so Japan has one reveal more, I guess?

The Bozja-like I hope it's Bozja but in Eureka if that makes sense? I like Bozja's fluidity more than Eureka especially as a Solo Player but Eureka has some of the coolest zones in the game and I would like to have more that are designed like that.

Conclusion I probably forgot half of my observations and thoughts, but I will end it here for now - but of course not without a final overall status report!

I'm not going to lie, the Solution Nine stuff has really pushed me back into it - the stuff they showed before was fine to good, but it just seemed a little safe. But now? This could be the coolest thing ever - or it could burst into flames and be the stupidest shit they ever pulled and that's so much more interesting to me than just a cookie cutter expansion about things we knew to expect.

Either way I'm going to be a pretty Piktomant Bunny Boy posing in front of backdrops of rapidly increasing quality - And that's enough to make me pay for another sub.

[takecareluv]

MEG MY SWEET

how are you doing?? i know you’re tired, but i just want to tell you i’m proud of you🫶🏻 you work so so hard and deserve all the rest and self-care & pampering in this world !!

tell me some of the highlights from your week. they could be the most boring thing ever, but i still wanna know🤍

sending you allllll my love and an armful of hugs, darling🫶🏻✨🥺💕

okay i didn’t even realize this has been sitting in my drafts for weeks now ?? but i miss my livie girl so much <3 hope she’s okay.

HI LIVIE <3

i’m doing okay ! this weekend was definitely nice and relaxing but i’m still feeling overwhelmed . i know i’m going to go to work tomorrow and go right back to feeling the same way i was last week & the week before && before… drained. i feel trapped in this cycle and have absolutely no motivation to do anything to free myself from it, honestly i don’t even know where i would begin to. i miss writing , i miss reading , i miss doing the little things that bring me joy , i miss doing anything other than working or sleeping , i miss being fully present on here , i miss feeling anything other than exhaustion. and i feel so weird because nothing is wrong but everything is at the same time. i don’t know. i just need a break. i need something to change , in me & around me.

anyway,,,, since i was gone for most of the week i’ll give a little recap because i have had some good moments over the last few days… and maybe a few bad ones…

the biggest highlight of my week was going to see noah cyrus in concert ! i had no idea about it until last week when my friend texted me about having an extra ticket & of course i said yes !! i’m so happy i got to go to it. first — i love love love her new album so being able to see her perform it live is just the best thing ever ! plus i just love going to any concert in general , the energy is unmatched <3 and second — i’ve never been to a show in a small venue like that ( it was a brooklyn steel ) ( exactly a week after jack was there like are u kidding ) & with general admission tickets . we got so close to the stage ( basically barricade !! ) , which i’ve also never been that close , so all in all it was an incredible experience ! i literally made eye contact with her so many times and she even tipped her cowboy hat at me && smiled like AHHH fangirling hard !!!! hehe

LIKE I TOOK THIS WHATTT

although it was a great show and such an amazing experience, the day as a whole was so stressful. and honestly just made up for a completely shitty week :/ i had to go straight from work and almost missed the train , i literally pulled up to the station as the train got there and had to sprint to find my friend . and bc it was all so rushed && i hadn’t been to the city in quite some time my anxiety was at such a high and i couldnt calm myself down until we were finally at the venue and waiting in line ( for three hours omg it was so cold did not go prepared ) BUT we did meet some amazing ppl who were also all at the vma’s and one of them had this video of jack & her from the red carpet that i literally saw online i was like GIRL THAT WAS U small world anywayyyy

…………

okay now i’m looking back at this weeks later and i don’t really remember the rest of what i was gonna say but whateverrrr probably wasn’t important anyway & just me complaining about the rest of my week 🙃 I MISS U LIV PLS COME BACK I LOVE U

[oswinunknown]

vent below the cut

cw for intrusive thoughts, anxiety, and just, bad thoughts

and if your a friend of mine, this isnt on you, its just my mind being stupid rn

this is gonna be more of a ramble than a vent but just...

im so tired.

like, mentally, ive got so many things to juggle rn.

grades, irl friends, online friends, home life, anxiety being even worse rn, and :/

right now i cant form the right words, type the right things to say, talk to people the way i used to

before it came so easily to me

now, whenever i get better at talking irl, me talking to ppl online worsens, and same vice versa

and i dont know what to do about it

whenever i interact i have these pillars that help me in communicating. however sometimes one of the pillars fail, and suddenly anxiety comes wooshing in and my entire overall skill of communicating is gone

i cant go a day now where i dont type something or say something or do something where i think "oh i look weird, i look fat, im probably offending someone, they dont want to talk to me im probably annoying and shitty, people dont actually like me, they just hang out with me because they dont want to hurt me, im being too sad, im not being funny enough, im not being creative enough, im not active enough, i cant make a conversation anymore theyre probably tired and want to leave me, i dont talk abt (shared interest here), oh shit ex-friend who i still feel guilt over is closer to me and now im constantly doubting my friend skills, im probably some fat weirdo to people on the bus-"

...i just

i dont know

id talk abt it to someone but as the resident friend therapist for years now, i still dont know who to tell it to

i have one friend who ive vented to the most, but even then shes having her own world of issues and i dont want to add on to it with my stupid brain being shitty.

and too, im getting so sad just from hearing bad things

kids in my backyard are getting more and more rude and more adult in the worst way like cursing each other out and using violence, rage, and crying as a way to get what they want and i hear it every day

my family is too busy worried abt funds n my brother not doing his fucking school work

my other friends i either feel like would get annoyed at my venting (even if ik that theyd listen, anxiety says otherwise)

and even now, just ranting abt it makes me feel shitty bc im just being so fucking stupid rn

and too, so many people i know personally and care for are in shitty conditions and i want to be there and comfort and listen but i keep on taking in stories abt shitty people doing terrible things and it just ruins my mind and mood

but i want to be there, so i listen, because i care

and too, my mom watches shows like that on tv really loudly, so ill still hear it

i used to be able to take really loud rooms and chaos and stuff

now im just

tired.

i havent felt like i could breathe in days

i just want this to be over and to feel better again.

[babymilkawa]

random boyfriend headcanons with:

bakugou katsuki

gn!reader :)

no. 2

bakugou warms up the bed for you with his hands and body while ur doing ur night time routine because he knows u get cold easily

although you'd much rather be in his arms rather than ur side of the bed 🙄 hes being sweet so don't say anything 🤫

one day u bought him a shark tooth necklace and just went up to him and said "you shud wear this, you'd look really hot"

and of course, he already knows he'll look good and because it's you saying it, he'll wear it when he's shirtless and on top of you 😏

sometimes if he's talking too much or being annoying you'll just put the necklace in between his teeth

if u wear slippers when it's cold, denki steals them from u sometimes and bakugou will just carry u wherever until u find them so ur feet don't have to touch the cold ground

maybe even hide them from u a little longer so he'll have an excuse

so we all know bakugou reads romance mangas right

u read them with him and what he does is that he keeps in mind of the specific scenes/panels that you gush about or react to

then when u finish reading it, he'll go back and highlight or type them up in his notes so that he can subtly reenact them with you

but every time he does it ur always like "awww u got that from [blank] didn't you " and he's like "no pssh what r u talking about dumbass"

bakugou loves to annoy you,,,now on that note I will present to you:

vacuum kithes <33>>

sometimes if ur having a soft moment and u just wanna kiss those soft lips of his he'll start sucking ur mouth and it makes this weird suction noise and it's so ANNOYING cuz ur tryna have a moment here

ur covering his mouth with ur hand and he's laughing while biting and licking ur hand

ANOTHER annoying thing is like when u guys wear masks he'll just walk up to you

and pull ur mask so that it snaps back in ur face

he does it to annoy you and to see that cute nose scrunch u do whenever that happens

he'll also bring u close while walking next to you and just back kick his foot to tap ur ass

sry does that make sense?? Idk how else to explain it

ok moving on to online learning related things he does

if u guys have some of the same classes, he'll pin your camera on zoom so that ur face is the largest on his screen and all the extras are tiny

it's just an excuse to stare at u better and u'll never knoww sooo👀

ur teachers ask yall to pick the people in ur breakout groups and yall always pick each other

sometimes there are other people in ur breakout groups but u don't rly care, u just talk to bakugou like normal

he's a little iffy cuz he doesn't want the extras to see a peek in his love life with you but his desire to talk to u is much greater

u guys r the only ones with your cameras on and he hates that it seems like the others r just listening to ur convo

the light is hitting u j right and even with the shitty WiFi u still look stunning

he almost starts grumbling abt how he doesn’t want other ppl to see ur face

BRUH A WHAT NOW BAKU R U SERIOUS THIS IS FOR CLASS

for social media, if u guys r just chilling or he's bored, he'll j go onto ur account and start hyping up ur posts like even if they're a year old

cos even better right, no one'll scroll that far and see his comments

u guys even do live videos sometimes, mostly u want to do it and he just sits there

a lot of people join actually and ask u guys questions abt ur relationship

u answer them and bakugou just scoffs at them like "why do u wanna know so bad, huh? stick ur nose somewhere else!"

he thinks tiktok couples r cheesy and evthing is staged and honestly same here but maybe I’m j too single

his phone password

It’s UR FREAKING name with his last name IM GONNA DIE 😫💕

it’s literally bakugouy/n

it’s a little obvious for snoopers like the bakusquad but is this not cute or WHAT

for dates, you'll sometimes let him pick ur outfit if he doesn't want to tell you where y'all are going

and he has good taste ok cuz,,his parents,, 😼

n e ways he dresses u up and the place u end up going like fits PERFECTLY with the fit and the pics yall take will obvi b in ur next sm post

if u have an allowance/budget and u overspend sometimes and u complain like "ugh I can't buy that sweater now cos if I do i'll have to skip my weekly boba drink” 🥺

he grumbles "dumbass, i'll just get it for u, y r u even complaining"

sugar daddy

woooh this was long

but imma have to stop here cuz the list will only get longer and longer

but yea! this is honestly what I think about in my daily life hence the pandemic related tings huehue

there'll prolly b a part 2 <33

bnha masterlist

[silkgonerough]

Astrology Observation/rants? #1

❤️I’ve noticed that people who have venus unaspected in their chart are incredibly attractive idk why???

👸Moon trine/conjunct venus is such a nice placement to have in regards to people in general but especially to the opposite sex. I feel like ppl tend to treat you more gently and kindly bc of it’s feminine energy. It gives a prince/princess charm to the natives mannerisms bc they’re so kind and warm! Men with this placement are kind of babied and seen in higher regards by women (especially older women!!) and the women are kind of protected and nurtured through men. This also goes both ways where women with this placement probably have amazing relationships with other women and the guys are that one friend who has a lowkey bromance with all of his friends lol,, It’s rlly hard to see these ppl in a malefic or fearful light.

🙎‍♀️Moon in Scorpio females have eyes that can pierce through your soul

💆Men with Aquarius venus and Capricorn Mars are top tier

👄Women with Scorpio venus are usually very pretty and sexy and known for their sex appeal if famous

💅Capricorn + gemini venus or rising women are really pretty and make great models

👯‍♀️Lilith in eighth house is considered a sex symbol placement (Brigitte Bardot, Elvis Presley, Angelina Jolie, Sophia Loren)

🤔I would say gemini and virgo risings are the hardest signs to identify because of their mercurial rulership and mutability unlike Pisces and Sagittarius where there are clear distinctions in facial features and physique because of the Jupiter/Neptune affect (long legs, round faces, prominent forehead and eyes) gemini and virgo can easily be dominated by other planets in contact with the ascendant or first house but both signs give someone a very youthful doll like glow

🧠People tend to shit on hard Saturn contacts but I find that with time they usually evolve beautifully and the aspect can become a huge benefic but only with hard work. Saturn is the only planet that rewards for perseverance and patience but it’s always worth it

🥰Leo and Virgo’s are actually really similar in what they expect from themselves and others. They both just want to be appreciated and considered important to those around them.

👩‍🦳No matter what signs are involved sun conjunct venus always has a very feminine and pleasent face usually with a prominent forehead,, they’re also rlly well captured in photographs!

🤳Mars square Neptune probably had a period where they may have read a lot of dirty fanficton or fantasized about weird concepts sexually

🌝Leo moons are WAY more of attention seekers then leo suns im sorry but it’s like their emotional well-being depends on the amount of attention they get whereas Leo suns don’t necessarily ask for it bc they just attract it naturally with their aura (this isn’t every leo moon ofc just the ones I’ve observed)

🤦‍♂️I think Virgo suns are more critical of those around them and how that affects who they are whereas Virgo moons tend to be more critical of themselves and how their actions affect their surroundings

🦵I’ve noticed Mars in the 1st house females are usually rlly toned and skinny with long legs

💃Mars in Virgo is known as being prudish or like a not sexy placement of Mars and I rlly beg to differ, I swear every person that the general public’s been obsessed with when it comes to being hot has this (Dylan O brien, Austin Butler, Idris Alba, Blake Lively, Benedict Cumberbatch, Tom Felton, Ariana grande, Johnny depp, Britney Spears?!! there’s so many more u guys need to get on this)

🥴Aries moons are all about talking the talk but I swear half the time are not walking the walk and when they do they’ve talked shit to about 6 ppl already and waited for like a week before telling u how they feel

🤡Pisces moons (myself being one) can be so fucking stupid when it comes to liking someone I swear. We tend to make excuses for them and cling to whatever image we’ve set up in our head on who they are. Once evolved though it’s way easier for us to see ppl for who they are off the bat without going through the emotional distress!

😒I can confirm that we attract whatever signs in our eighth house mines in Aries and I swear to god not a year has gone by where an Aries man hasn’t infiltrated my life

👗people who have venus in the second house are the definition of quality over quantity!! always dressed so well with the cutest jewelry. They’re style carries libra energy :)

🥺Aries sun men are some of the most sensitive ppl I’ve ever met!! I didn’t realize it at first but they’re rlly soft and uwu. I don’t know how to explain it but think of Eren from AOT or Natsu from Fairy Tail! They’re kind of like a cheeky kid you want to protect at all costs

🤝I think a lot of square aspects can work in your favor if there’s a specific trine or conjunct aspect that’s energy can balance it out once activated if that makes sense ? Like for example I have venus square neptune and I used to put myself in alot of unnecessary painful situation bc I had a problem with deluding myself when it came to liking someone. Yet I was always aware that the person was not right for me or the situation was toxic bc of my sun conjunct pluto. The Sun/Pluto aspect has kind of forced me to be more aware of the venus/neptune affect and I’ve grown a lot stronger through those painful plutonic experiences in love and I can see through other people’s intentions for what they are with ease. I think that sun/pluto helped cancel out my delusion by making me go through a lot of intense experiences to finally understand what I was doing and see things for what they were.

🧛🏽‍♀️Going off of that I don’t care what anyone else says I LOVE MY PLUTO ASPECTS and trust me their pretty shitty (sun conjunct pluto, moon square pluto, pluto square asc). I’ve been put into some rlly crazy situations for only being 18 but I can go into the world with a lot more awareness of who I am and the people around me. I like the intensity they bring and the forcefulness of change in my habits and life. Pluto has made me a rlly strong person in terms of persevering through life and it’s challenges. I thank pluto for that.

👩🏽‍🤝‍👨🏼👨🏾‍🤝‍👨🏻👩🏿‍🤝‍👩🏼I think one of my favorite placements I have that is also super favorable in others is Jupiter in the 11th house! This may seem kind of random but the amount of opportunities and cool experiences I’ve been given through my friends and social circles is something I’m soo thankful for🙏 Friendship and just being a friendly person in general is something I’ve always found luck and happiness in and it’s so rewarding to have so many ppl like and support u for who u are! Making friends with ppl online and making friends from friends is super easy with this placement as well💞

[collectingthestars]

So in school this one year I had this one bitch in my class whom we will call Regina George for hopefully obvious reasons. And she was just. A massive bigot. Constantly bullying the neurodivergent kids, being an asshole to gay ppl, openly hating sushi. She was just,,, the worst. And I had made it my personal mission to destroy her (not like that you sickos). I drew a shitty copy of her face and stuck it to a pillow whenever I needed to punch something and you may think I'm lying about that much like a politician may say he wants equal opportunity for all, or a person on the internet claims I'm "really not that attractive so I should stop worshipping myself" which doesn't even make sense because like hello can you see me rn and also all my trauma and mental illnesses are stored in my dump truck ass which is why it's so big and you probably think I'm deflecting my deep rooted insecurities by making jokes about how hot I am which is not true and- point is I really hated this Regina bitch. So deep was my burning desire to set her hair on fire that I hatched a plan. Regina obviously wants more bigots and Trump supporters in positions of power, right? What better way to anger her than have me, an openly queer and pagan punk that's read the communist manifesto 3 times, get onto the school council leadership team? Pretty smart, right? Wrong. I had no leadership experience whatsoever and in hindsight I probably should've been focused on getting onto the team to help people rather than have my one motivation be a giant middle finger to some rich cishet girl who's dad is probably gone. Ok that was dark but you get what I'm saying, I hated this bitch. But anyway, I gave my big speech about leadership and equality and if I got onto the team I'd give the school bathrooms actually good toilet paper that doesn't feel like I'm having intercourse with a cactus covered in sandpaper. And it worked. My unhinged demonic definitely-possessed-by-a-crack-addict, stop-trying-to-drink-the-box-of-juice-you-found-in-a-bin-wtf-is-wrong-with-you self got onto a team full of white brunette children with rich parents. Excellent. Now all I needed to do was convert a herd of pubescent children into spitting on Regina's shoes and throwing gas cans back at the police. Shouldn't be hard, right? Wrong again. Apparently no one is willing to listen to a short feminine presenting dork with anger issues. Weird. My plan to make Regina's life miserable was failing. And there was only one thing left to do. You know those thoughts you get, where the side of your brain that practices kindness and forgiveness tells you not to do it but the other side that eats crayons and memories WAP is telling you to do it for no other reason than it'd be fucking hilarious if you were a character in a tv show (which I'm starting to feel like with U guys. I'm not mad tho, I feel like a small mammal in an enclosure as a group of four year olds watches me take a shit as they start giggling hysterically). So I stared deep into the mirror of agony and asked God where my moral stance lies if not elsewhere than replaceable specks of dust on a dirt road. And god, with her many mouths and her many tragedies, says nothing. So anyway I bought a roll of stickers of the lgbt pride flag online and stuck them on all of Regina's belongings without her knowing. Yes it was funny as shit no I don't regret being an asshole. The immense amount of joy it brought me to see this girl become enraged and try to frantically tear off a sticker of a rainbow off her school bag. Which really proves that you can do all the goodness your heart demands of you but at the end of the day death and life do not care what you have done and so why not make yourself immortal. Anyways this has been fun bestie love U also who do you speculate I am I'm curious 💖💖💖

oh my gods i don’t know if i should be proud or terrified, i’m most likely feeling both. but honestly she had it coming

[avenger-hawk]

“fiction harms real ppl, my friend was hurt because of it” is a dumbass argument that only 12yo first world anglosaxons who never had 1 single experience in life (and by experience I mean going out of the house without mommy) could use.

Let me tell you my experience with fiction and being hurt.

When I was very active with my blog, writing essays against the ending and so on, I became friends with one blogger. I also had a boyfriend who didn’t pay much attention to me so I felt neglected and turned to tumblr, and more specifically, to this person, because she gave me attention and she seemed to care. We both shipped Ita/sasu so we roleplayed it, it was fun.

We also rped smut, which was fun too. We were both 18+ anyway and we also kinda talked about real life stuff. Only, I talked, she was vague on purpose, to keep me curious about her. I had a weird feeling, like she was lying to me, but I didn’t do anything thinking that ppl have the right to say or not say stuff about them, including their gender and sexual orientation.

Until I realized that she was hiding behind the Itachi character, behaving in a controlling way with me as well, manipulating me to give her all my attention online, trying to make me argue with other online friends, which she succeeded with the bad ones but she didn’t with the important ones, and even trying to make me avoid ppl in real life, because no one understood me as well as her, no one was good for me as much as her.

She also became very inappropriate, insulting me using sexual stuff, calling me sl*t for having online friends, and this was the least gross thing she said, cause some I don’t even want to mention, but they were really disgusting insults, sexist and perverted at the same time. And you guys know I’m sharp tongued so I didn’t stay silent, but she learned stuff about me so she was not only gross, she also knew where it hurt the most.

She also used fiction a lot, like, if I talked to friends I wasn’t worthy or Rping Sasuke because Sas only cares about Itachi, Sas is pure and I was a bad person, or she used other naruto characters to ‘represent’ online friends, like, she reblogged some Karin as an insult, to say ‘you’re pervert like her’, or she reblogged some Orochimaru to represent some online person who was bad, and so on. It seems very stupid actually, but I assure you that when I was friends with her, and we exchanged messages the whole day, it got to me and it hurt.

I mentioned this other times, because emotional manipulation is a crazy thing, but in this case I wanted to highlight the fictional aspect. Because in all this, we both shipped Itasasu, we both liked Itachi and Sasuke and we Rped them.

Soooo, when she harassed me in a real cyberbullying way, was it because she was so into Itachi’s character that she behaved badly? Was it kishi’s fault from writing such character? Was it the inn scene that inspired her? Was it some fanfic writer’s fault for inspiring her with their fics about manipulative Itachi? Was it some fanart?

Or was she a creepy bitch who used fiction, specifically the character of Itachi, to justify her shitty behavior?

Don’t blame fiction for not being able to control yourselves if you have mental problems, or if you can’t filter out stuff because you’re too young but also curious about things that you can’t handle.

Leave ppl alone, ffs.

And you guys, don’t let others tell you what to like and dislike in fiction. And block the hell out of everyone who’s like this. Cause it feels like I’m the only one speaking out for these things, while most ppl are sheepishly tolerating it. Which makes these ppl stronger, cause for example, in the past they hated on IS because it was incest, ok, then they extended it to shiita, they had a problem with kakashi/genin sas (not my thing tbh) and then with Kakashi/shippuuden sas, now with hokage nar and akatsuki sas. see the problem? they raise the bar of moral judgement, and there will be NOTHING left unless what they decide.

[cloveroctobers]

•ALLEGRA BIANCHI•

IG info/bio: @/theeallegrabianchi | 303k followers| Entrepreneur | bad bitches go to therapy thxz 🦭👄

(24) 26 years old

From Swansea, Wales

Ofc she knows who Catherine Zeta-Jones is...her mother literally resembles her and remembers people coming up to her mom countless times asking for a pic growing up, and Allegra hated taking pics for these imbeciles...mainly because the attention wasn’t on her

has a dysfunctional family...

her mother is critical of almost everything she does but at least she paying attention?

and feels her father is neglectful and only seems to be heard when she’s in his face

all they know how to do is scream at each other instead of talking calmly to one another

her mother is of Venezuelan heritage

And Her father is of Italian heritage

her father’s side of the family resides in calabria italy

he named her after his high school gf that passed away due to his irresponsible drunk driving on their senior prom night

Her parents do not have the healthiest of relationships due to her father constantly cheating on her mother in the past...leading to verbal and physical fights

also has a kid or two outside of their marriage because of his unfaithfulness and allegra learned to hate them because of the hurt her mother showcased

In the beginning she was only around them because her father enforced it, that she needed to know her family “blood is all you got in the end.” He would always say but that was bs

Would take her, her half sibs, and her full sibs on day trips/weekend trips in his suburban

Has three full older brothers and one full younger sister

Because of this, Allegra did not have a clear view of what love was supposed to be and felt that anger in a relationship is supposed to be somewhat of the norm?

Many times she wished at night in her bed with a pillow over her head that her parents would just file for a divorce already when their fights would get bad to the point things would get broken and her mother would h*t her father (once with a metal bat) and throw him out of the house

Has had the cops called on their household before and cps definitely has/had a file on them

Has been in family therapy before and is currently in therapy mainly for herself because of the trauma & how it’s messed with her spirit as a person

Loves? Cares for her parents from afar but will never understand their relationship and why they’re still together to this day

Can go months without speaking to any of her family members and be completely fine with that

Had her younger sis, Nerina put her PRIVATE shit on blast via internet after love island aired and completely cut her off since she is “a clout chaser and money hungry bitch who can’t take care of own her child cause she opened her legs to a meth head who loves prison” OOP

she only has a decent relationship with one of her brothers who’s two years older than her, Vito. They seem to be the closest out of the sibs and he’s the only one she bothers to speak to from time to time

She’s a “cocktail entrepreneur” so I’m guessing she has her own business where she specializes in her own cocktail drinks? Working in some upscale rooftop/penthouse bar where she successfully makes profits from her signature drinks or has a brand that focuses mainly on cocktails

It took years for her business to take off and hasn’t been easy, not one bit. At times it felt like everyone wanted to see her fail and she has openly spoken about her struggles as not only a entrepreneur but as a woman in this business where no one wanted to take a chance on her

That just lit the fire that’s already inside of her

Aries sun + Leo moon + Scorpio rising? (Personality vs how you react to things emotionally vs you’re outside shell for those who don’t follow this too much. I’m not too in depth about it but I do find it interesting!)

Or should she be reversed as a Leo sun with a Aries moon? Aries are direct, fiery, one step ahead of others, impulsive, and know how to take charge. Leo’s are dramatic, loves attention, passionate, loyal, warm, and have a need to express their passions, and scorpios are intense, secretive, mysterious, and work strategically

anyways, I feel like she’s definitely improved as a person over the span of two years? Or at least I hope she has cause everyone goes thru changes

And she was frustrating in s1 so I just know she had some deeper issues going on so I really think therapy is helping her ass I wish it would help me lmao

Being cheated on honestly made her feel like her mother, weak in her mind she was with this dude for awhile—3 years and he just up and thought it was okay to cheat on her? With his personal trainer?! Yet he didn’t gain any muscle mass?! The ultimate disrespect!!! but one thing she knew? She wasn’t going to stick around like her mom did

But she was bitter about it foresure. She ultimately wanted to corner the girl for messing with HER man but part of her knew she wasn’t the only one to blame. However that didn’t stop her for cussing her out via voicemail a couple of times while intoxicated

Allegra always strived for love cause she’s never really seen it before or felt it

Sure she’s had many boyfriends before?And their names didn’t matter not only because she didn’t remember them? But she never felt the spark with them in the first place?

Maybe she wasn’t meant for love so she kinda put on this bitchy front and always been that way with some shitty friends she had around her until she recently cut them off a year ago

has gotten herself into trouble as a kid: trespassing, and destroying public property, smoking in the girls bathroom, physical altercations, cutting class, being assigned community service, etc... all with these friends she’s had for years!

Before she met her problematic friends in secondary, when she was in her pre-teen stage she was involved in the handbell team and in the Color guard but hates to admit it even tho her parents have pics all over the flat

went away to uni for a semester and wanted to join a sorority but the hazing was extreme to the point she was sent to the hospital then accepted? Which led to more trauma in her life so she dropped out

A few years later she decided on online courses and moved out of her parents flat as soon as she could with the $ she saved up and did not leave in the house since it was not safe to smh

Therapy was really helping sis, she felt a lot better and was working on her deep rooted issues mainly the anger and hurt and never really realized how it revolves around her life. She was super thankful for her therapist and reshaping herself

Many didn’t buy it but she knew she couldn’t give that much of a fuck? She couldn’t. In order to grow you got to learn that you have to involve for yourself and not others

She didn’t like the person she saw watching the show back but when she came back to the reunion a part of her hoped people saw some sort of change in her—even if it’s only been a few months since the show then

Sometimes she’ll slip back into old habits, wanting and doing so by snapping on people and blacking out by getting intoxicated and knowing that healing is a process and valuing yourself is the exact same

has a toy poodle that she loves deeply

doesn’t have many outside friends after cutting off the ones that were toxic

is pro-ab*rtion and had one herself which was aired out by her sister online

has a cozy flat that has a lot of brick exposure inside, a navy sofa which is her favorite piece in her house, and a view to die for!! which erases the fact that her apartment is “cozy” which she uses to replace the fact that it’s much smaller than what she originally wanted. She dreams big ya know!!!

currently has a crush on her art teacher who resembles Adam Rodriguez

but also feels like liking your teacher/instructor is a bit weird? Even tho they’re both grown

yes she is taking art classes now outside of work to find something that’ll bring her peace and these pass months they have until COVID hit where classes had to be cancelled yet she was contacted to continue online but she felt her art was truly shit but he says art is subjective

She feels like there’s a connection there? But at the same time isn’t looking for another relationship until she fully works on herself first! That took awhile for her to accept after she fell into some relations with a few ppl after the show

from there she realized that she might like girls too? And got a little annoyed that it took her this long to figure out especially with the way she felt around MC and cherry

doesn’t like to admit this but her fav holiday is Christmas? Even tho the theme is majorly corny to her but it actually makes her happy?

Feels like that was the only time her family showed love towards each other, and even tho they didn’t come from much, they always followed thru with their traditions

and she misses them a little bit around this time and might be the first one to call them even if the calls are short lived and kinda awkward at first

Loves making gingerbread houses and cookies

i feel like she now embraces her forearm hair but still gets everything else lasered

Miss Allegra has inches okay?! But I definitely feel like now in 2020 she’s chopping that shit off into a pixie cut and when she posts on the gram her hair is usually always damp when she shows it off

some comments — jake: lovely! Jen: babe, ur beautiful! Erikah: 😍 Tim: how hot! You’ve got the whole resident evil thing goin for yous

“Did he just call me a virus?”

And she might get a like from mason that’ll make her feel some type of way

We all have to go thru some growth you know so do you girl!

You can’t tell me she doesn’t play stabscotch!

Used to be obsessed with social media way before going on love island but lately doesn’t mind disappearing for months at a time? You have to cleanse yourself from that shit

idk i see her being mostly cool with jen or erikah and will hang out with them from time to time? Maybe they experienced some growth too, shit I sure hope so

still feels something for mason??? But at the same time maybe it was mainly superficial since mason wasn’t fucking with her like that, not 100% but at the same time gets frustrated that he still doesn’t see where she’s coming from and it’s been 2 years???

She loves hard if given the chance and then feels like shit when it doesn’t work out cause it feels like she wasted a fuck load of time

she no longer follows him because she feels like it’s better for her spirit or whatever and she doesn’t need to see him with someone else

the only guy that she really interacts with is Tim, yet tim is cool with everybody!

Otherwise there’s no real connection with her and anybody else? She wants to keep love island separate from herself now because she’s not exactly the same as she was two years ago? And hopes someday people will get that

Probably watches those auction shows on the telly late at night when she can’t sleep, hoping and can afford some of those things one days

I feel like she has chronic migraines too?

Once had a significant other buy her Allegra-D in all seriousness for her birthday because it reminded them of her & thought it would help her headaches 🤨

Loves the snow, but hates cleaning it off her car! S/O to those HOA fees, bless it cause leggy’s deff bussed her ass once before breaking her collarbone and sued like a mf!!!

Since her hours are hardly consistent since she’s mainly her own boss, she’ll have late nights/early mornings when she returns home and has to shift days where she cleans the flat but when she cleans??? It’s best everyone stays tf out of her way

And don’t try to help her cause you’re doing it wrong 10/10 of the time, she loves cleaning and has dropped mad money on those super expensive vacuums

Only knows how to make what’s relative to her culture: arepas, penne alla vodka, and cawl but otherwise than that? She’d rather clean then spend hours in a kitchen cooking unless she’s making cocktails ofc!

also loves shopping for clothes but shoes are her fav things to shop for

Deff has a steamer over a iron for her clothes

Keeps eucalyptus and lavender oil in her purse at all times

posts mainly on her stories and made a deal with her supporters that she’ll go live once a month since she feels like she owes them that? Since she’s not as active anymore but she really doesn’t owe anybody shit but out of the newfound kindness of her heart...she does

Believes she got Covid before they all decided to do a shut down/lockdown of restaurants, bars, etc.. and her suspicions were proven correct after she decided to get tested

her anthem? Kali Uchis — Dead to me (acoustic version)

[alukaforyou]

I know you've mentioned this before but you're not close with your parents. I just had an awful experience with my mom where I realized that she has a very low opinion of me and doesn't actually care about me as her child. How do you cope with you parents, if you don't mind me asking?

ya in my case i dont doubt they love me and have made lots of sacrifices for me, but ultimately, you are the arbiter of the love people give you, and i reject on some fundamental level the love my parents have for me - its not real love b.c they dont love ME, they love the idea they have of me. my parents rly kno jack shit abt me and i never rly talk to them abt anything meaningful to myself cuz i dont trust them - i hear the hurtful things they say abt other people which is 1. disturbing and 2. jokes on them cuz little do they kno they are insulting me too (like every time they shit on lgbt ppl or mentally ill ppl like bruh... i am that... lmfao..) and not just the whole fundamentally rejecting parts of me / my experience (aka... gaslighting... getting mad at me that One time i tried to open up abt depression / being suicidal and telling me "stfu no u arent, dont even say that shit" lmfao thx), they rly just dont listen to me Constantly, like Every time i try to educate them on race matters and whatnot theyre like loool silly girl u dont kno wat ur talking abt, actualy :3c and its so irritating not being taken seriously, ever so basically yea, im super done w. this "fam" and while i am grateful that they raised me p well and didnt do sketchy behavior like check my phone / comp, etc or physically abuse me.... like.... am i rly supposed to be grateful for that LMFAO if anything the fam gives me the lower most, maybe the lower 2 levels of the maslow's hierachy of needs (all the emotional support & unconditional love, i get from my friends, aka my found / real family) so i am super estranged from them & i dont rly seek their approval or w.e. in my case, my parents provide me / has provided for me housing and some degree of financial support (like... free housing.. free food... etc..) so thats p much the extent of how i see our relationship. like.. open ur purse ig? LOOOOOL and when i move out, im totally prepared to slowly drift out of their life like... y would i wanna spend time w. racists and terfs when... i could be seeing friends??? its a lil weird cuz on some level i am... attached to them cuz the whole ~family! blood relations~ concept but tbh in the very real future possibility that my fam disowns me / never sees me again for some dumbass reason, ig i wont miss them much. like nothing irritates me more than the expectation of having unconditional love / respect for ur family / elders (esp in asian / collectivist culture) because family is gacha and toxic people r toxic whether or not they happen to be ur relatives or w.e. ik its hard cuz ~its my mom!~ and ya sure maybe u have some good memories with her, or shes not toxic / hurtful / whatever *all* of the time, but none of us have to be begging for scraps. im sorry you didnt get the love & support & understanding we all deserve from our parents but.... family is gacha lol. id say, try to accept the good times and the shitty times and kno u dont rly have any obligation to stay in their lives as their child, and any reconciliation plans or the degree of "presence" you will have in their life is toootally up to you. also try to communicate first if you u r comfy with that, like really clearly let them know how they hurt you and see if you can salvage the relationship if you so desire. see my parents wont ever freakin listen to me so all avenues for communication are closed. i cite irreconciliable differences and choose to just shut them out of my personal life lol.

if you have the means at all to move out... that would b good.... but if not, just try ro hang in there and make ur home experience the most bearable as possible. see, my job is to have the most peaceful existance i can. so while i wanna fight w my parents and whatever, i just dont to save my own energy like im not here to educate or change ppl that wont listen. so i try to minimize my interaction w them and stay in my room most of the time. i also focus on my own hobbies like art or exercise or watch films or play / talk w my sister instead. having great friends that lov & support & uplift u is key. surround urself w ppl that appreciate you and value you b.c we are all precious and important and ofc. we'll make our own mistakes so we all rly need ppl who bring out the best in us! online friends are super valid as well, if u need more friends def try to join some online communities around ur own interests and meet wonderful ppl! hope that helped a lil.... sry for wat happened again.. i hope things get better for u!!

[iraprince]

Do you have any tips for getting an audience of tumblr or Twitter. Sometimes I just get frustrated when a drawing I spent 6 hours on gets 3 notes or 2 likes and a retweet.

i think it’s really hard to have one size fits all advice for something like this — the internet is so vast, i only really know how to navigate my own specific niche of it, and different artists will always appeal to different audiences, so stuff that worked for me might not work for you. BUT i can try my best — i just can’t guarantee any of this is replicable bc especially with the new age of incomprehensible algorithms i just never know what’s going on at any given time

first off, a big disclaimer for transparency: a lot of my Big follower gains have been from my Hashtag Relatable mental health comics getting tons of notes. i do NOT!!!!! recommend making mental health content to try to get popular!!! i think doing so will put fucking worms in your brain!!! it will poison you and your brain will dribble out your ear holes like soup. i think that it is already complicated enough to navigate all the weirdness of like... making vulnerable stuff like that available for consumption, and doing it in Hopes of going viral and getting lots of followers can imo literally only end poorly. hhhhhowever, i would feel really weird if i like... glossed over the fact that i know that’s where a lot of my followers have come from, or acted like that didn’t happen, so. i just have to like, mention it. my takeaway here is if you’re going to make mental health content FOR YOURSELF because you WANT to, brace yourself for it to potentially circulate, and be ready to feel really weird about it, but i do not recommend it as like... a way to purposefully grow an audience.

ANYWAY. with that nagging out of the way. actual advice

1. fanart, but only of stuff you really actually like. it is literally just a fact that it’s easier for people to feel invested in and care about characters from stuff they’re already invested in than original independent content. it’s not wrong to court that! but i think u should only pour energy into fanart of stuff u actually like — not bc chasing after whatever the current BNHA-type thing is rn is “selling out,” who gives a shit, but bc the end goal is to have an audience who WANTS to see what YOU want to make. you want people who care about your specific set of aesthetics and interests, not ppl who will unfollow en masse the second you fall off trend. (if you DO tend to really like what’s super popular, there’s nothing wrong with that! that’s lucky for you, genuinely.)

2. self promo all the time. this one can be hard bc it feels embarrassing at first. you feel like you’re spamming people or being annoying or self centered. but listen: people follow literally hundreds of accounts. you remember every time you’ve boosted your drawing; most of the ppl who follow you probably didn’t even see it. and if they see it twice or three times among the literally hundreds and thousands of posts anyone sees per day that is not a big deal. stuff gets lost! timelines and dashboards move fast! i cannot count the number of times i’ve seen something cool and thought “oh i’ll check that out” and then five minutes later i’ve forgotten bc of information overload. you have to constantly remind people that you exist and that you make things and i promise you you’re not being as annoying as you think you are. (i know you guys don’t see this in practice from me much on tumblr; that is bc i don’t really like it here and i don’t understand the vibes. i never shut the fuck up on twitter)

3. follow and engage with your peers, not just people with 10k+ followers who have already “made it” or whatever. this is not advice about growing an audience so much as advice for not feeling super shitty while you’re trying to grow your audience. i’m not saying that people with tons of followers/bustling online shops/enamel pin empires are like a completely different category of person of whatever, that’s not my point; clout is not direct deposit and just bc someone is popular doesn’t mean they’re coasting by without worries; etc etc. but my point is that i used to only follow very popular, established artists who were, in my mind, “out of my league,” and i spent all my time beating myself up for not being them or being consumed with jealousy and resentment. but... spending more time with artists who are kind of at the same ssstage of figuring things out as i was, as much as any individual journeys can ever be “the same,” was much more encouraging and inspiring and energizing, and helped me reset my concept of what “success” means for independent creatives into something more healthy. don’t wear yourself out chasing after people who seem to be moving way faster than you, especially if it’s making you feel like shit! find some people who are walking at a pace you can relate to, take interest in their stuff, talk and form connections. you’ll feel better.

4. just draw the stuff you want to even if you don’t think it has audience appeal. literally just draw exactly what makes you happy. this sounds like i’m trying to pull some corny Just Be Yourself! Believe In Your Art! shit and i mean yeah i guess but i also mean that literally from experience there was a significant surge in interest + appreciation of my work when i went apeshit and just decided to do the most self indulgent shit possible no matter how cliche or tacky or cringe or whatever it was. people respond to sincerity and passion, i really believe that. people can tell when you’re having fun and they like it. who doesn’t wanna be around someone who’s always having fun

that’s about all the stuff that i think could be considered like.... more or less universal. i dunno!!! just keep at it. the internet is a nightmare i don’t really know how it works