#does what they are supposed to do but also questions things

[jonnywaistcoat]

What’s your opinion on the contrast between “silly” and “serious” spaces? Do you think people can have very serious interpretations about a genuine piece of media and also be goofy about it? I’m asking this particularly because I’ve seen people in the Magnus podcast fandoms fight about people “misinterpreting” characters you, Alex, and the many other authors have written. Are you okay with the blorbofication or do you really wish the media you’ve written would be “taken seriously” 100% of the time?

And follow up question, what do you think about the whole “it’s up to the reader (or in some cases, listener) to make their own conclusions and interpretations and that does not make them wrong”, versus the “it was written this way because the author intended it this way, and we should respect that” argument?

This is a question I've given a lot of thought over the years, to the point where I don't know how much I can respond without it becoming a literal essay. But I'll try.

My main principle for this stuff boils roughly down to: "The only incorrect way to respond to art is to try and police the responses of others." Art is an intensely subjective, personal thing, and I think a lot of online spaces that engage with media are somewhat antithetical to what is, to me, a key part of it, which is sitting alone with your response to a story, a character, a scene or an image and allowing yourself to explore it's effect on you. To feel your feelings and think about them in relation to the text.

Now, this is not to say that jokes and goofiness about a piece of art aren't fucking great. I love to watch The Thing and drink in the vibes or arctic desolation and paranoia, or think about the picture it paints of masculinity as a sublimely lonely thing where the most terrible threat is that of an imposed, alien intimacy. And that actually makes me laugh even more the jokey shitpost "Do you think the guys in The Thing ever explored each other's bodies? Yeah but watch out". Silly and serious don't have to be in opposition, and I often find the best jokes about a piece of media come from those who have really engaged with it.

And in terms of interpreting characters? Interpreting and responding to fictional characters is one of the key functions of stories. They're not real people, there is no objective truth to who they are or what they do or why they do it. They are artificial constructs and the life they are given is given by you, the reader/listener/viewer, etc. Your interpetation of them can't be wrong, because your interpretation of them is all that there is, they have no existence outside of that.

And obviously your interpretation will be different to other people's, because your brain, your life, your associations - the building blocks from which the voices you hear on a podcast become realised people in your mind - are entirely your own. Thus you cannot say anyone else's is wrong. You can say "That's not how it came across to me" or "I have a very different reading of that character", but that's it. I suppose if someone is fundamentally missing something (like saying "x character would never use violence" when x character strangles a man to death in chapter 4) you could say "I think that's a significant misreading of the text", but that's only to be reserved for if you have the evidence to back it up and are feeling really savage.

I think this is one of the things that saddens me a bit about some aspects of fandom culture - it has a tendency to police or standardise responses or interpretations, turning them from personal experiences to be explored into public takes to be argued over. It also has the occasional moralistic strain, and if there's one thing I wish I could carve in stone on every fan space it's that Your Responses to a Piece of Art Carry No Intrinsic Moral Weight.

As for authorial intention, that's a simpler one: who gives a shit? Even the author doesn't know their own intentions half the time. There is intentionality there, of course, but often it's a chaotic and shifting mix of theme and story and character which rarely sticks in the mind in the exact form it had during writing. If you ask me what my intention was in a scene from five years ago, I'll give you an answer, but it will be my own current interpretation of a half-remembered thing, altered and warped by my own changing relationship to the work and five years of consideration and change within myself. Or I might not remember at all and just have a guess. And I'm a best case scenario because I'm still alive. Thinking about a writers possible or stated intentions is interesting and can often lead to some compelling discussion or examination, but to try and hold it up as any sort of "truth" is, to my mind, deeply misguided.

Authorial statements can provide interesting context to a work, or suggest possible readings, but they have no actual transformative effect on the text. If an author says of a book that they always imagined y character being black, despite it never being mentioned in the text, that's interesting - what happens if we read that character as black? How does it change our responses to the that character actions and position? How does it affect the wider themes and story? It doesn't, however, actually make y character black because in the text itself their race remains nonspecific. The author lost the ability to make that change the moment it was published. It's not solely theirs anymore.

So yeah, that was a fuckin essay. In conclusion, serious and silly are both good, but serious does not mean yelling at other people about "misinterpretations", it means sitting with your personal explorations of a piece of art. All interpretations are valid unless they've legitimately missed a major part of the text (and even then they're still valid interpretations of whatever incomplete or odd version of the text exists inside that person's brain). Authorial intent is interesting to think about but ultimately unknowable, untrustworthy and certainly not a source of truth. Phew.

Oh, and blorbofication is fine, though it does to my mind sometimes pair with a certain shallowness to one's exploration of the work in question.

[astrologydayz]

MERCURY IN HOUSES - SYNASTRY🧡

MERCURY IN PARTNERS 1ST HOUSE = house person can be very attracted 2/interested in the Mercury persons mind/voice/language/the way they speak/articulate themselves🗣️. They can also be very attracted 2 Mercury persons hands/fingers - or notice them very quickly! House person feels understood on a very special level here - Mercury is always a step "ahead" in knowing what the house person does next/Mercury sees right through the house persons reactions🫶🏼 - why they react the way they do, & why they have the worldview that they have - mercury doesn't judge, or criticise but listens, understands, &gives their advice/opinion if needed🧡. House person can become more mindful, but also more expressive, more talkative/vocal, or much more social in life because of the Mercury person<33. Conflicting aspects can show issues because house person can feel criticised/judged here/issues bc Mercury can't understand the house persons way of seeing/doing things.

MERCURY IN PARTNERS 2ND HOUSE = something about the way the Mercury person communicates, makes the house person feel so fucking comfortable, & secure🔒<33. House person can find much value in the way the Mercury persons communicates/find much value in their mind/mentality here. Mercury can hype the 2nd house up a lot - always being in their corner2, & being very vocal about it<33 - which adds even more security 2 the house person. House person can be very trusting of the Mercury person here - always listening, & taking their advice, when it comes 2 their income - finances/self worth/values/material possessions - they can also talk about/discuss those things a whole lot together in general❤️. Conflicting aspects can show arguments/conflicts over money/arguments because Mercury can make the house person insecure/issues bc Mercury can be 2 into giving their advice/opinion, when it ain't needed.

MERCURY IN PARTNERS 3RD HOUSE = These two can talk 4 daaaaays, & they would not get bored🗣️ - trust😭. Mercury person can make the house person smarter/more knowledgable on certain topics, or in certain interests they both have😍<33. These two are the ones still talking in a moment where they're really supposed 2 shut up😭😭🤣😻😻. House person feels understood on a mental/intellectual level here<33. The Mercury person could also talk a whole lot 2 the house persons siblings/cousins - or that can be something that these two talk about/discuss a lot - house persons siblings/cousins. Conflicting aspects can show issues between them, because they can argue a whole lot/issues because they can't find mental peace together.

MERCURY IN PARTNERS 4TH HOUSE = Mercury person can be very interested in the house persons childhood/upbringing/family/or family history here - always asking questions<33 - It could also be something that these two talk about a lot in general<33. If house person has any childhood trauma/family trauma = mercury can help them with REALLY talking through it/help them come 2 a place of "acceptance"❤️‍🩹. Mercury person could also talk a lot 2 the house persons mom/family members. House person feels heard, & listened2 when they run into any family issues/home issues - Mercury can also give them advice here, when it comes 2 what's the best thing2 to do in those types of situations🫶🏼<33. Conflicting aspects can show miscommunications/arguments over/because of house persons family/issues because house person can feel pressured 2 talk about the things they wanna keep 2 themselves.

MERCURY IN PARTNERS 5TH HOUSE = house person can find the Mercury persons humour 2 be the best ever here - house person can laugh, & be entertained by them 24/7😍🥰<33. These two could be the ones always having their own fun when they're at a party/out having fun with friends - inside jokes can also be a very big thing between them😘. People can also feel kinda left out when they're with em, like they can't really catch up2them😭😂. Mercury person can show a big interest in the house persons meaning of romance/fun/their way of being creative/in their self expression, in the house persons kid/s🧡<33 - or those topics are something they can talk about/discuss together a lot<33. Sex could also be something they talk about/discuss a lot together💋<33 Conflicting aspects can show them having two different kind of humours - house person can get offended/arguments, or miscommunications over/because of kids/issues bc conflicts can arise when one, or both is out enjoying themselves/having fun.

MERCURY IN PARTNERS 6TH HOUSE = these two can be in contact all day, everyday<33. House persons everyday life could have gotten a lot more interesting/exciting when the Mercury person came into the picture🥰 - Mercury person can get the house person out more/get them 2 be more vocal/mindful in their everyday life❤️/or help them communicate more clearly when it comes 2 their work - coworkers<33. Mercury can be very interested in the house persons everyday life/routine/health here🫶🏼 - or they could talk a lot about those things together<33. Mercury person could also want 2 give the house person their advice/opinion on those things a lot<33. Conflicting aspects can show arguments/conflicts in their daily life together/arguments, or conflicts over petty/small things.

MERCURY IN PARTNERS 7TH HOUSE = the way the Mercury persons mind works/the way they communicate - with others, & in general is just what the house person search 4 in a marriage💍/stabile partner🔒<33. Mercury person can help the house person with communicating better/more clearly in their relationships - when/if house person runs into any arguments with others - Mercury can also help them with how 2 properly solve them, & help put things into perspective🫶🏼. House persons important relationships/partnerships/business deals/contracts could also be something the Mercury person is very interested in/interested in giving advice on💅🏽<33 - or those things can be something these two discuss/talk about a lot. Conflicting aspects can show arguments/conflicts bc of/over house persons relationships/arguments because house person can feel like their wants/needs doesn't matter 2 the Mercury person/issues bc they got two different ideas of where their connection is supposed 2 go.

MERCURY IN PARTNERS 8TH HOUSE = if house person has any obsession issues/traumas💔 that they need 2 work through = mercury can put things into perceptive 4 the house person, & help them start their transformation/rebirth at last - House person could have been avoiding change, before the Mercury person came along, & sat things straight/told them wassup🗣️. Mercury is interested in all the things the house person wants 2 escape from/keep 2themselves forever. House person can feel very close 2 Mercury here, bc they talk about everything together - Mercury person could know the house persons darkest secrets💜<33. Oral sex/handjobs/fingering can be/feel very transformative 4 the house person here/or it can be something they're really into with Mercury here, bc of the intimacy they bring with it💋<33 - Dirty talk from Mercury could also be something that really gets the house person going. Conflicting aspects can show issues between them because of secrets/lies/issues because one can be way more taboo/darker focused/minded than the other. MERCURY IN PARTNERS 9TH HOUSE = Mercury is very interested in the house persons philosophy/"journey" in life/very interested in where they've travelled2, or want 2 travel 2✈️🌍/interested in their beliefs/religious views/higher thoughts/or in their education📚 - these things can also be something they talk about/discuss a whole lot together<33. If house person is gunning after a higher education = Mercury can help them read up on their shit/help them with studying📖 - kinda like a teacher, & a student = Mercury being the teacher, & house person being the student here. House person can look up 2 the Mercury person, & trust their judgment/guidance on a whole lot in life<33. Conflicting aspects can show arguments over/bc of in laws/issues bc house person can feel like Mercury is always trying 2 "one up them" - like "they always know better"/conflicts bc they got too different beliefs.

MERCURY IN PARTNERS 10TH HOUSE = Mercury can make the house person more expressive/vocal/mindful in public/make them more mindful/vocal in/about their career here🗣️<33. Mercury can also be very interested in the house persons worldly goals/social status/career, & can help them make future career plans - guide/advice them 2 what the "wisest"/best moves 4 them 2 take 2 move upwards are💅🏽 - Mercury person being the house persons "professional advisor" here kinda energy<33. Mercury can talk the house person up a whole lot 2 others🫶🏼😻 - up their reputation a whole lot/or even defend their reputation/career if needed🗣️<33. Conflicting aspects can show arguments over/because of house persons reputation/career choices/issues because Mercury can talk/gossip a whole lot about the house. MERCURY IN PARTNERS 11TH HOUSE = Mercury can be very interested in the house persons community/social media/humanitarian goals/social circle - network/dreams here - or it's something they can talk about/discuss a whole🫶🏼<33. Mercury could also interest the house person with a new cause worth fighting for together💋<33. House person, & Mercury person can be seen out networking together a lot🤝/they can be seen out being vocal about the causes they fight for✊🏽/are interested in together<33. If they don't have the same friend group = house persons friend group/social circle can see the Mercury person as humorous, talkative, vocal, & very expressive here<33. Conflicting aspects can show arguments/miscommunications because of the house persons friends, or arguments over them/arguments because of the house persons dreams/social media. MERCURY IN PARTNERS 12TH HOUSE = these two can have a telepathic connection🫶🏼 - House person could also receive messages from/about the mercury person in their dreams here😴<33. Mercury can read the house person like an open book📖 - they could ask the house person many many questions, but really already know the answer 2 each one😘. These two can talk a whole lot about their addictions - or past ones/their fears/phobias, spirituality - their spiritual beliefs, spiritual connections/bonds♾️. Mercury person can bring light 2 the house persons subconscious habits/mind, & it's either really really appreciated💋, or really not so much🙂‍↔️ - look at aspects. Conflicting aspects can show issues because Mercury can seem questionable/worrisome 2 the house person/issues because house person can feel distressed/troubled when Mercury is around them.

THANKS4READING LOVE! I APPRECIATE U ALWAYS💜. MASTERLIST

[g1rlr0b1n]

Look guys!!! It's G1rlR0b1n 💖💖💖 (bet you didn't know this is what my handle meant lol)

Yet another commission by the super talented @tamdrry!!! (this was done a while ago I just hadn't gotten around to posting it)

So, there was actually a fic that was supposed to go along with this but... I never got around to finishing it 😭

If you want to see what I had planned to write you can check it out under the cut. 👇

One of my personal headcanons is that Damian is nonbinary (or trans but for this particular story, just nonbinary for now)

Anyway, he starts to discover this after spending a lazy afternoon with Cass and Steph in Cass's room.

They're cleaning out her closet and think it'd be fun to play dress up with her little brother. He relents because he likes feeling included and he enjoys their company and doesn't 'want to mess this up'. They're several piece swaps and a whole makeover in when the girls finally settle on what they have decide is the perfect 'fit. Damian turns to see himself in the mirror, mini skirt, crop top, fish nets, combat boots, smoky cat-eye, glossy lips, and he just…freezes… doesn't react… until he does. He starts to cry and flees from the room. The girls don't know what to do but they run after him. He nearly knocks Bruce over in the hallway, then the girls come storming after and he stops them.

Bruce: what's going on?

Steph (she looks worried): we were just messing around, we didn't mean to make him cry!

Cass (also upset and crying herself): we didn't mean to hurt him.

Bruce: ok, let me talk to him. Go back to your room, we'll chat in a bit. Try to calm down, ok?

The girls nod reluctantly but turn and go back to Cass's room. Bruce had long suspected that Damian may be having a difficult time with self-discovery from little things he's picked up on and from when he was at that age himself. he had a feeling something like this would be coming sooner than later, after all, emotions and individuality were not traits looked highly upon by the League of Assassins… or (he admits) with the Batman. he knocks on his door and when there is no answer he peeks in. Damian is sitting on the carpet in front of his floor length mirror.

Bruce: hey chum

Damian:

Bruce: can I sit down?

He says nothing again but scootches over slightly

Bruce: you wanna talk about it?

Damian:

Bruce: Cass and Steph think they've upset you.

Damian shakes his head: I'm not mad at them. (He emphasizes the word 'them')

Bruce: are you mad at yourself?

Damian nods but says nothing else. Bruce pulls him into a hug and he allows it, buries his face into him, cries, and Bruce just holds him there. They say nothing else until Damian finally let's go an eternity later. Bruce tells him he won't make him talk about it and he won't make him explain himself to the girls but he is going to tell Cass and Steph that he isn't upset with them unless he would like to do it himself (he'll tell them nothing more than that, he emphasizes). Damian's not ready to face them, he tells his father he can relay the message, and he does, later once Damian has asked to be left alone. The girls are relieved, they don't ask questions, they respect Damian's privacy. It's one of the reasons why Damian loves them.

A week later Bruce takes Damian to go to a fashion show with him, he goes because his father has been nagging him to put more effort into him public persona long before this anyway. There he sees androgynous models wearing mashups of typically male and female clothing and something starts to click. He feels seen for the first time but the feeling is uncomfortable and he begins to sink into himself, Bruce pulls him into his side, and he doesn't pull away.

Another week goes by and Damian comes home to find a large box on his bed, tied up with a large red ribbon. There is a tag that just reads, "fighting evil by moonlight". He opens the box and there is a new Robin uniform inside reminiscent of one of his favorite characters, Sailor Moon. The tears he cries are from happiness this time.

[cyberkinks]

(𝐌) 𝐁𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐃 𝐁𝐘 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐋𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓𝐒︙𝐉𝐀𝐘 𝐉. 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐊 ・♡

𝐑𝐄𝐐𝐔𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐃 𝐁𝐘: @wondersgyu

𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐆𝐆𝐄𝐑 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆: mentions of suicide and suicidal thoughts.

⤷︎︎ 𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐥𝐮𝐝𝐞𝐬, singer!reader, idol!jayjpark, arguing, mountain climber jay (inside joke), almost getting caught, exposure, social media involvement, kissing, sexual intercourse, sasaengs, small alochol consumption, crying, emotional distress.

⤷︎︎ 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬, use of foul language, use of pet names (maybe), misspellings (maybe).

⤷︎︎ 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞, angst, sad, smut, fluff, idol au.

⤷︎︎ 𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲, love isn’t supposed to be complicated but unfortunately it is in this industry. you were secretly involved with an idol and you have been for a last year but it’s hard for both of you but at least you have each other….right?

⤷︎︎ 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐫!, this is for entertainment purposes only!

𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: I know it’s been a while since i’ve posted so accept this as an apology. also sorry if my writings a little rusty but i’ve been practicing a lot in case you notice the changes. also, i have more things in the works for all of you and since summers coming up, i’ll be writing more (mostly summer fics) so be on the lookout for that! muwah! ♡

⤷︎︎ 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐨𝐟𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝?: no. unedited.

Complication. that’s the world that describes your relationship with Jay. yes Jay from enhypen. a popular 4th gen k-pop group.

you two started seeing each other over a year ago and it’s been, rough. i mean you have the news outlets almost exposing your relationship, saesangs following you both everywhere and finding out personal information about you from the staff you trusted. boy was that a mistake. all of it seems to be a mistake.

there’s no privacy and the paparazzi is constantly hounding you with questions about your relationship with him and if you two are actually dating or not. it’s starting to take a toll on you and your mental health. you found yourself crying on your sofa as you held a book on your arms. the stress was finally coming to you. everything you’d been feeling for the past week now.

you couldn’t handle being strong anymore, it all was too much. in the mist of your crying, you heard your bedroom window being opened and you quickly turned over and seen jay, climbing through your window. “What are you doing here?” you asked him with an confused expression. “Did anyone follow you?” I asked him as i quickly got up to look out the window.

He gazed at you as you looked out the window before closing the curtains. Jay looked worried at the tear stains on your cheeks. “What’s up?” He asked with a concerned look. “Were you crying?”

you didn’t respond verbally so you just nodded and met his gaze. he didn’t say anything after that, he just pulled you into a hug and squeezed you tightly. a hug seemed to make things worse. you started to ball your eyes out again against his chest while hugging him back tightly.

after a few minutes when you finally calmed down, he bought you ice cream. your head was laying against his shoulder as you ate. his fingers were playing in your hair…which means he was getting ready to ask you a question. it’s what he always does.

“Are you gonna tell me why you were crying, sweetheart?” He asked staring off at the wall. you didn’t wanna tell him tell you knew he’d keep asking until you did so you had no choice. “It’s because of what happened this past week.” is all that you needed to say. he sighed softly. “I kinda knew it, i just wanted to make sure i was correct.” He says and places a soft kiss on your head.

“Look, it’s not gonna be easy. i wish it was.” He says tucking your hair behind your ear. “I wish i could live my own life while having a music career…but I can’t.” he shakes his head. “I can’t be me.”

You listened as he spoke. you looked up at him. “You can, Jay, you just have to ignore the bullshit.” You said.

He scoffs. “I wish it was that easy. my label, managers and my staff isn’t gonna let that happen. i have to play by their rules.” He shrugs.

you look at him. “I feel hopeless.” you admitted. “I don’t think i can do this anymore.” you whispered as your tears filled your eyes once again.

He frowns at your words. “Do what?” you shrug your shoulders this time. “All of it.” A tear escaped your eye. “i thought it would be fun and easy but…” you shook your head. “I was wrong.”

“Hey, there’s gonna be hard time but-“ “but nothing, jay. all of it is hard and i can’t do it anymore, i’m done.” you snap at him as you stood up from the couch. “Before you do anything stupid, let me at least try to talk you out of it.” Jay carefully grabs your hand. “I love you, Y/n. truly and i’m not gonna let anyone take you away from me.” more tears fell at his words. “I wish it was that easy.” you sniffled.

you walked away from him which is one of the hardest things you’ve ever done. you didn’t want to lose him at these costs but…there nothing you both could do. it was a harsh industry and it was quickly taking a toll on you.

𝐀 𝐖𝐄𝐄𝐊 𝐋𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐑, you didn’t bother getting out of bed. it was around 11 when you heard your manger and your staffs knocking on the door, over and over again. you didn’t respond. your eyes were dry and puffy from crying all night long. you haven’t heard from jay since you two broke up, that was probably for the best.

your world was shattering and you had nothing left to live for. the person you cared about the most was out of your life now and it was you and your conscience. there was no escape.

you glanced over at the pill bottle that was displayed on your nightstand. without having second thoughts, you grabbed it and headed to the kitchen. you emptied the rest of the pills in your hand and poured yourself a glass of water.

before the pills could touch your mouth, someone quickly slapped them from your hand and you turned and seen Jay standing beside you. “What are you doing?” He asked you, clearly angry and upset yet confused and sad.

“Nothing, i was just taking some pain relievers.” that was a lie and he knew it. he glared at you. “Tell me the truth, y/n.” He said and tears began to flow from your eyes. “I was gonna…” you covered your mouth as you sobbed. you couldn’t get the words out. his arms immediately wrapped around you, hugging you tightly as he kissed the top of your head.

“Don’t ever think about doing that again, you hear me?.” He whispers as his eyes starts to tear up and you nodded. the thought of almost losing you was weighing on his mind. what would’ve happened if he didn’t show up? what if he’d gotten here later? his tears began to fall as you sobbed against his chest.

After you two calmed down, he gave you a bowl of ice cream and sat down beside you on the sofa. he kissed the side of your forehead. “How do you feel?” he asks and you shrug “I feel overwhelmed and tired.” you admitted “i just wish…things were different.” you took a bite of your ice cream.

He nodded. “I understand that.” he fiddles with his fingers before looking around your apartment. “howd you get in?” You ask and he looks over at you. “I climbed up again.” you frown. “Jay, you’re gonna seriously hurt yourself if you keep doing that.” he chuckles. “i mean it’s not that high of a climb, plus if it means i get to see the person i love the most in this world, i wouldn’t mind getting hurt.” he says and you look over at him, meeting his gaze. “I thought i told you, i can’t be with you right now.” you sit your now empty bowl on the coffee table. “I know, that doesn’t mean i’ll stop loving you.”

Those words. your eyes flickers from his eyes to his lips before leaning in. you kiss him softly as he tucks your hair behind your ear. your hands cups his face as his hands pulls you closer by your waist.

the fireplace crackled in the background, the soft music that was playing from your bedroom. your lips and body melted into his touch, his lips tangling passionately with yours.

he gently pushed you down on the sofa and climbed on top of your figure without breaking the kiss. he unzipped the jacket you had on and carefully removed it from your body and threw it on the floor.

everything in this moment was perfect. the way he touched you so gently, how sweet he was being, the softness of his lips….you were falling in love all over again.

your bodies were tangled on the sofa, half naked as his lips nips and kisses on your skin. his fingers worked on your clit, rolling your soft bud around in small circles. soft noises fell from your lips as you bucked your hips against his fingers, whimpering. “Jay…” you whispered.

you didn’t expect your night to go from crying to having sex with your ex boyfriend on your sofa but you weren’t complaining. he’s just what you needed.

he carefully slipped his fingers inside of your pulsing hole, slowly thrusting them into you. “I love you.” those words slipped from his lips and you opened your eyes and gazed at him. your lips parted and the words “I love you too” slipped from you.

the love you both shared was genuine and he wasn’t gonna let anyone ruin the special connection between you two. anyone.

he kissed your lips sweetly as his fingers were soon replaced with him. he carefully and gently slipped himself into you, making you gasp.

the way his hands roamed your body, his groans, your moans, the sounds of him loving you...it was like a dream.

you wrapped your arms around his neck, leaning into his touch. he placed your leg over his shoulder for a deeper angle with made you cry out his name.

that night was definitely something to remember.

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐍𝐄𝐗𝐓 𝐃𝐀𝐘, you woke up to the sunlight shining in your eyes. you groan as you rub your eyes before looking over to your left and seeing Jay asleep beside you. you tug down on your bottom lip before sitting up in bed. you carefully slip out of your bed and placed your feet on the floor.

you walked towards the bathroom and closed the door. you walked towards the sink and turned on the faucet. you looked up into the mirror and stared at yourself for a few minutes until your eyes scanned your neck. you gently touched the love marks that were displayed on your skin.

the memories of last night were both: depressing and heartwarming along with spicy. you smiled softly at the hickeys as the words he spoke in your ear, flowed in your mind.

"I want to remind them who you belong to."

you were still skeptical about your relationship with Jay but he reassured you that everything will be okay.

after a few minutes of looking at yourself, you grabbed your toothbrush and toothpaste which is the start of your morning routine.

while you were getting ready, jay slowly opened his eyes and seen that you were gone. he rubbed his eyes before yawning and stretching.

he placed his feet on the carpet and stood up from the bed and walked towards the bathroom and opened it. he looked over, seeing as you were washing your face.

he walked behind you and wrapped his arms around your waist, making you jump a little. “you scared me.” you said with a small laugh after. “sorry, i was missing you.” he smiled while you wiped your face with a towel.

“Mhmm.” you looked back at him and pecked his cheek. “well, i’m gonna take a shower.” you said before putting your hair up in a messy bun.

“alright, love.” he kisses the side of your forehead before walking out of the bathroom and into the kitchen. he began to brew coffee before starting up breakfast.

the smell of coffee and bacon filled the air, instantly making your stomach growl. once you finished getting ready, you walked out of your bedroom and into the kitchen with a small grin across your lips.

you sat down on the barstool watching him as he cooked for you both. you didn’t know how to bring it up so you did.

“thank you…for being there for me last night.” you fiddled with your fingers. “i really appreciate it.”

“of course.” he looked back at you and smiled. you smiled back before looking away.

once he was finished, he gave you your plate first before making his own and placed a cup of coffee in front of you. he sat down beside you and and kissed your cheek before digging in.

you watched as he ate with a small grin on your face before eating your food.

nothing can get more better than this.

in fact, you were getting used to it.

𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟒 © 𝐜𝐲𝐛𝐞𝐫𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐬

[kingdomvel]

Obikin au inspired by stardew valley where Anakin has inherited a farm and decided to take care of it and Obi-Wan is the town’s doctor.

This is: Farmer Anakin gets his health check-up.

Anakin tries to ignore it. He smiles, politely and then powerwalks away from the clinic. He tends to walk in front of it on his way to the shop where he buys his seeds or arranges to sell his product. Always parking his truck where the clinic is in his path. Always hoping to catch a glimpse of the hot doctor that lives and works in the house.

He had not expected Obi-Wan to acknowledge him with more than a polite smile, and that is he even saw him because even if the town is small, Obi-Wan does have people to attend, so Anakin can only see him when there are no patients and the weather is warm, sitting at his porch with a book, a newspaper or learning the newest medicine breakthroughs. Sometimes so focused on his readings that he doesn’t even notice Anakin walking past him – and those days are the best, because Anakin can gawk at him as much as he wants, slowing down his pace so he has a few more seconds of looking at the most handsome man Anakin has seen in his life.

On a normal day, even if Obi-Wan sees him, they don’t exchange more than a polite smile and greeting but today, today, Obi-Wan had said his name just as he was approaching the clinic, and Anakin is sure he blushed, so he is trying to hide it by walking away as fast as he can.

“Anakin!” Obi-Wan’s voice says again, and he sounds close, and he shouldn’t sound close, not when Anakin is walking away at the speed he is, unless Obi-Wan has gotten up from his place and-

A hand on Anakin’s arm stops him from going further, and when he turns around there Obi-Wan is, a bit out of breath, a quick smile on his lips as he says his name again - and Anakin thinks that he could fall in love from that alone – before he squeezes Anakin’s arm and lets it go.

“I’m sorry for stopping you like this when you obviously have things to do.” Obi-Wan says, as if Anakin had anything better to do than talk with him, as if the only reason Anakin didn’t stop, didn’t spend all his time trying to speak with the doctor, was because he is embarrassed about his crush and about acting like a fool in front of him (or at least that’s the reason since Obi-Wan had to drive him home after he had found him almost passed out in a field because he didn’t take enough water with him). “But I was thinking that you’ve been here for five months already,” of course Obi-Wan remembers exactly when Anakin arrived, as if he needed more reasons to fall for him, “and you have not really come to see me at the clinic, and because of what happened-“ Anakin tries not to die of mortification at the mention of the incident, “I think it would be good if you came for a check-up. When is the last time you went for one?”

“Uhhh…” Anakin says, eloquently, because he doesn’t know how to tell the concerned and perfect doctor that the last time he had talked to a doctor for something health related since he had his last paediatrician check-up was when Obi-Wan himself had lectured him about keeping hydrated and away from the sun in summer.

“Right” Obi-Wan says, because he must understand Anakin’s lack of an answer. “I regularly do check-ups for everyone in town, so whenever you feel ready for one, just come over and I will see you. We could even do it now if you are not in much of a rush?”

And then Obi-Wan smiles, and there’s a hopeful look in his eyes, and what is Anakin supposed to do? Say no?

“Are you up to date with your vaccines?” Obi-Wan asks, sitting at his desk, Anakin on sitting on the other side, answering all of Obi-Wan’s questions so the doctor can have a record of his medical history.

“Sure”

“As far as I know, yes.”

“Farms are dangerous places, you can get all kinds of infections. Your animals are also vaccinated?”

“Of course, they see the doctor more than I do.” Anakin tries to joke, but Obi-Wan purses his lips before a small smile appears on his face, “we are trying to fix that now, aren’t we?” Obi-Wan looks down over to the questionnaire on his hands, ticks something with his pen before he points to the next question. He looks up to Anakin before asking, “sexual partners in the last year?”

Anakin tries not to choke on his own breath, his heart accelerating on his chest. “No” he answers, and Obi-Wan looks mildly surprised, and oh coming out of his lips. And Anakin realises he had expected a number.

“Okay, I think that is everything for now.” The doctor mercily says, and Anakin lets out a sigh of relief. “You can sit on the stretcher now, I will check your vitals.”

Anakin obeys, and Obi-Wan puts a cuff around his arm and the metal part of his stethoscope under it. It goes too fast, Anakin focused on the way Obi-Wan’s arm flexes when he inflates the thing on his arm with the small ball, on the attentive look on his face as he listens to his pulse while looking at the numbers, on how close he is.

“Alright” Obi-Wan says all too soon. He takes everything off of Anakin and notes the numbers down on his clipboard. “I’d like to listen to your heart now.” He says, and stays seated in front of Anakin. None of them move for a few seconds, until Obi-Wan adds “I’d be easier if you took your shirt off.”

“Right”

“Unless you are not comfortable, I can do it with it on if you prefer.”

“No, no, it’s alright.” Anakin rushes to take his shirt off, because Obi-Wan is being so nice to him, and he doesn’t want to make his job harder. He just had imagined that if he ever got the chance to be shirtless in front of Obi-Wan it would be in a very different context.

Anakin takes a sharp breath when the cold metal circle touches his skin, and Obi-Wan takes it away immediately.

“Sorry, it’s very cold.” He brings it up to his face and exhales on it before he puts it against his own arm while Anakin watches him mesmerized. “I should have warned you, I think it will be a bit better now.”

He puts it back against Anakin’s chest and it’s better now, and Anakin feels a bit out of his body because Obi-Wan is standing right next to him and he puts his other hand on Anakin’s naked back. The skin to skin contact makes Anakin straighten his back against the hand, and there is just no way Obi-Wan didn’t hear his heart jump.

“Your heart rate is a bit too fast.” Obi-Wan says, and Anakin is sure he will not set foot on the town, much less near the clinic, in the next few months. “Do hospitals make you nervous? It’s alright, we will be done before you know it.”

Anakin doesn’t deny it, because the other option is confessing that he doesn’t get nervous in hospitals, only around hot doctors that treat him with care and have the most beautiful blue eyes he has ever seen. Obi-Wan moves the metal thing around, and then puts it on his back and tells Anakin to take deep breaths. When he leans around to Anakin’s back, Obi-Wan’s chest touches Anakin’s shoulder and arm. It’s an innocent touch, it shouldn’t mean anything, but Anakin’s breath catches. He had never been so close to Obi-Wan – except the time he almost passed out, but Anakin doesn’t remember that very clearly – and it’s doing something to him. He can feel his body heat, he can smell him. All too soon, as Obi-Wan had promised, he is done and pulling away. Putting the stethoscope around his neck and telling Anakin he can put his shirt back on.

“You seem very healthy.” Obi-Wan says, and Anakin knew that but he will admit he liked the check-up, even if only to get Obi-Wan so close to him that he could smell his soap. “but please, come visit me if anything happens, doesn’t matter how silly you think it may be.”

“I will” Anakin promises.

“And I’d like it if you brought your vaccine record, I’d like to check for myself that everything is in order.”

“I will ask my mother to send it to me and I’ll bring it.” And then he will have an excuse to talk to the doctor again. Maybe worrying about his health is not that bad.

“That will be fantastic. Now I’m sure you had a lot of things to do that I kept you from.” Obi-Wan says while walking him to the door. That means Anakin has to go, and he is not very happy to, he finds.

“Thank you” he remembers to say before he leaves.

“There’s no problem, please, come visit me whenever you like.” Obi-Wan says with a smile before he closes the door.

Anakin stays there, staring at the door, before he turns to continue his way to the store. He puts his hands on his face and groans because he is a fool. A fool in love.

[undeadfvckgirl-sfw-base]

I have an odd theory now just hear me out

We know that the murder drones are cloned as J had said in the episode where she reunited with N and V again and that has me thinking. What if J tried to kill N because she genuinely thought his clone was detective. It makes sense because she mentioned that questioning the company was a sigh of being influenced by the solver and J KNOWS they are cloned and KNOWS he will be back. She probably suspected he was defective and infected for a while but wasn't allowed to do anything about it unless she had proof which N did give her in Pilot. She never said goodbye when she put the virus on him and she does seem to come off like an asshole but I do genuinely believe she probably did think he was corrupted since she said so herself. I believe if J actually thought he wasn't going to come back she would have a more snarky response the just a half assed laugh and a salute. I feel she KNEW he was going to come back also I believe she installed the virus to kill him because that would prevent the rebuild program from getting to him so they can just send a new one.

We could argue that N isn't cloned since J said "effective drones are cloned more" but being completely honest she probably said that to boost her own ego and make herself look cool. I don't think N doesn't have clones especially if it's run by the solver and that means that the solver can continue to manipulate N which I believe is why J tried to kill him, since all of them are influenced by the solver, as a factory reboot.

Yeah there are plot holes in this theory but it's one I started thinking about recently thinking about their behaviors recently since J doesn't always seem to hate N or think he's useless she only gets like that if she thinks he's slacking off or getting himself knocked offline. Like when he got into the colony she seemed really happy and proud of him because he actually did something impressive and thinking about it compared to V he IS slacking off. He doesn't do well on hunts it seems, he's extremely friendly which let a worker get away from their home, and he did immediately change sides as soon as he got a small ounce of doubt in his mind for the company. I don't think J just killed him because she didn't like him I think she killed him because that's what she's supposed to do if this happens. I think J killed him because she thought he was outwardly betraying them and he WAS and he DID. I don't want to say either of them are bad for this but both of them made bad decisions and I feel we don't talk about this very much that both of them didn't do the best decisions but it was because of their situation. N literally betrayed them and while it's because he formed a connection with Uzi and it was "the right thing to do" that's because we see it as the right thing to do but to J it looks like he's siding with the bad guy because that's what they are to her and V and should have been to N in her mind. Worker Drones are the bad people and N wanted to protect them but N saw them for what they really were and wanted to not hurt them. Both of these actions make complete sense at least to me but that's just how I view the show idk

[gerec]

Do you have any fic recs where Charles or Erik is a spy? I’ve been loving spy fics set against a WWII backdrop but any type is welcome!

Hi Anon!

Here's a list I made previously for an Anon who asked for 'James Bond' type aus. I think you'll find a few spy aus there to enjoy!

Also, here are some WW1/WW2 and others that didn't make the previous list :D

Spy Games by manic_intent

Prompt: Burn Notice AU, with Erik Lehnsherr as the spy and Charles as the trigger-happy ex boyfriend. Erik is burned for unknown reasons in Mexico and wakes up in New York City. Somehow, he needs to raise $500,000, in order to find out -why-.

Hier steh ich an den Marken meiner Tage by MonstrousRegiment

Erik Lehnsherr is a spy in the SS, and his British liaison is strategist Charles Xavier. Their relationship from the moment they meet to a year after the end of the war.

“You’re the only person in the world who knows what I am.”

Duct Tape Makes You Smart by AlchemyAlice

For a prompt at 1stclass_kink : X-Men via Burn Notice. "My name is Charles Xavier. I used to be a spy..."

Erik Lehnsherr's Baby and Child Care: 1st Ed. by ourgirlfriday * (Erik is a retired spy)

When everyone told Erik that having children would change things, he agreed wholeheartedly. For one, they’d need to get more food from the grocery store, and recalibrate the booze to juice ratio currently used in the apartment. He and Charles would have to either eschew mid-afternoon couch sex or become much stealthier about said mid-afternoon couch sex. The office, currently overflowing with Charles’s genetics texts and Erik’s maps and dossiers, would have to be converted to a baby room. They’d need toys of some sort or another. And he’d most certainly no longer be able to leave spare grenades on the end tables.

a fish hook; an open eye by fabeld 

Charles Xavier’s wealth protects him from mandatory service in the British Armed Forces, but he refuses to sit idly by when his telepathy can be used to assist the Allied Powers. As a British spy, Charles gains the Nazi Party’s trust and is sent to Paris to complete one last mission. His plan is disrupted when he runs into someone he never thought he would see again.

Trading No Secrets by feathershollyandgolly

Charles Xavier is an MI6 Agent with the terrible habit of asking questions when he shouldn’t. Erik Lehnsherr is a freelance Nazi Hunter working under Mossad. With nothing in common, they are not partners and they certainly are not friends (at least, not yet).

Mr & Mr Eisenhardt by faerie_ground (I know they're technically assassins not spies but it's too good lol)

“Now,” Mr Howlett says, and clicks his irritatingly pink pen. “How happy are you with your marriage? On a scale of one to ten.”

“Eight,” Charles says.

“That’s a rubbish scale,” Erik says. “You can’t fucking measure happiness on a scale. How are we supposed to know how much happiness differs between each number? What, are we just supposed to guess? Also, does one mean most happy or least happy? Also-”

Charles closes his eyes and looks like he wants to suffocate himself using one of the cushions.

*

Charles Haller and Erik Eisenhardt meet at a bar, fall in love, and get married. Neither of them know that the other is an assassin working for a rival agency- but they're about to find out real soon.

[the-most-pathetic-edge-marquis]

oops omg in my delirious ranting i forgot to ask you the question i originally meant to send lmao

would love to get your thoughts on Nesta & Cassian's relationship! your thoughts on its dynamics, its current state, its future, etc! any parallels you've found, or anything you find between them that makes you think it doesn't work - anything! i find the dynamic fascinating but i wish there was more than just "haha they drive each other CRAZy they MUST be mates!"

(i haven't read the 5th book but i'm ok if there are spoilers)

okay, if by 5th book you mean A Court of Silver Flames: apologies, i Have To talk about it, because it is the source of most of my Cassian/Nesta thoughts, so there will be spoilers. if you're talking about a different book and not counting the Christmas Special Novella TM as book 4...there's a 5th book??

also, as always, i have written entirely too much. thank you for enabling me on my red-string conspiracy rants.

let's see...this is really interesting, because conceptually i also see so many FASCINATING elements to Nesta and Cassian's relationship, especially thematically and in terms of the ways they mirror each other.

but then reading it within the context of the books themselves just makes it so. incredibly. frustrating.

first of all, what you said about "haha they drive each other CRAZY" is so real--i feel like it was an enemies to lovers story that devolved to centering around very shallow banter and hatefucking that is then still supposed to be seen as something super profound and lifelong for the two of them?

plus the way "mate bonds" are executed within the ACOTAR series frustrates me to no end...plus there's so much misogyny and white feminism and heteronormativity and poor depictions of mental health and abuse baked into the series under this progressive veneer that it for some reason gets...plus getting into the realm of wild speculation, i feel like a) sarah j maas legitimately dislikes Nesta and thinks she deserves the in-universe hate and b) sarah j maas is an only child.

so when i try to analyze Nesta and Cassian's relationship, it's just so difficult for me to separate it from all the rest of that. especially having read A Court of Silver Flames. a book that somehow filled me with more rage than breaking dawn? i did not think that was possible

another note: all of my quotes below are just cited to chapters, because i have an...um...let's call it the Kiera-Knightley-in-the-ocean-in-a-liking-girls-awakening-outfit copy of the ACOTAR series and i'm pretty sure the pages don't line up super well.

anyway, let's dig more into the good/compelling:

1. nesta is very squarely in My Type of female characters, and it's clearly cassian's type too.

aloof and mean and full of cold rage, wearing femininity like armor, with a spine of steel and a too-sharp tongue and undying loyalty to a very very select few soft characters...i LOVE LOVE LOVE that character premise, every goddamn time. and i love that cassian (in theory. according to what he says. not necessarily what he does.) sees that and loves it and doesn't want her to change. that fire is the reason he loves her, and was even when she was human! he's perfectly willing to dash himself up against it, because he sees a reflection of himself there! like:

"'You can keep that sharpness I like so much, that boldness and fearlessness. I don’t want you to ever lose those things, to cage yourself.' 'But I still don’t know how to fix myself.' 'There’s nothing broken to be fixed...'" -ACOSF, Chp. 50

!!!!

(now, do cassian's actions actually line up with that? mmm, debatable, but i think that's definitely more authorial blind spots than intent, and i like the theory!)

2. i am not immune to the:

"His voice was rough as he said, 'Five hundred years ago, I fought on battlefields not far from this house. I fought beside human and faerie alike, bled beside them. I will stand on that battlefield again, Nesta Archeron, to protect this house—your people. I can think of no better way to end my existence than to defend those who need it most.' I watched a tear slide down Nesta’s cheek. And I watched as Cassian reached up a hand to wipe it away. She did not flinch from his touch." -ACOMAF, Chp. 57

3. i go absolutely feral every time i think too hard about the thematic lines you can draw between nesta and cassian.

nesta, who has made herself cold and untouchable and absolutely unwilling to yield to anyone, clinging to the symbols of status and perfect upper-class femininity because those were the only weapon she was taught how to wield...and cassian, who is all fire and fury and raw passion, seeing himself as the blade that bathes himself in blood at rhys' command without being able to understand why and just trusting that rhys knows best, defining himself constantly as a base-born bastard who is only good at the fight...it's SO FASCINATING.

they have parallel experiences that in practice were entirely different because of the social circumstances in which they were born!

(also the way both of their mothers and their deaths play into it???? nesta was shaped by her mother's presence and cassian by his mother's absence???? both of them see their mother's death as a defining moment, except nesta responds with retreating further into that cool passive cruelty and cassian massacres an entire village...HELLO????)

4. you know what? shout-out to nesta weaponizing cassian's care for and promise to her to save his life...

and ONLY his life, when he would've willingly and gladly died with his legion!!! and then feeling guilty about it after the fact! (maybe even guiltier than he does!) that's SUCH a fascinating thing to have between two characters.

how do you go forward loving someone when you feel unspeakably guilty about what you did in the name of that love? you saved their life because you love them! you hate yourself for saving their life! you still love them!

okay, that's my quota for complimenting the acotar series this decade:

1. all of the things that i talked about above are. um. not central parts of the entire 700+ page book that is allegedly cassian and nesta's grand love story?

like--don't get me wrong, they're there. i'm not pulling those elements out of nowhere. but the central focus of that book seems to be...i honestly don't even know. it's like, part nesta's "recovery" (i will not rant here about that), larger part Nesta's Inspiring Fitness Journey TM, part The Thinnest Villain Plotline Of All Time (guys that mortal queen was NEVER going to be able to get into the prison that rhys has to give you permission to get into. she would've just fucking died. it would've been fine. also the mortal queens' motivations are just so shallow and incoherent to me), for some reason part Feyre's Pregnancy Journey TM, and large, large part...

nesta and cassian bantering in increasingly bland ways and having tragically the closest sjm gets to kink because they're being a little bit mean and commanding with each other, but nowhere near enough to actually be interesting to me? and obviously i don't have anything against smut in the fairy smut series, but i feel like it takes up way more of this book than actual interesting relationship beats between nesta and cassian, and it's really frustrating!

like here, have a screenshot from my notes app from my first reading of this book, which i feel like summarizes a lot of my feelings related to that and in general about the "romance" she builds for them:

also why does she write about toes so much when she's writing erotic scenes it's not even like a character-specific thing it's in all the books i noticed it and now i can't stop seeing it, any time a female character is horny her toes curl it's such a stupid specific phrase

2. i cannot separate the romance between nesta and cassian from my deep, profound hatred of the premise of ACOSF, the way it depicts recovery and mental illness, and nesta's lack of agency throughout it.

(i will rant about this now! oops.)

first, i am at my funniest and wisest in the notes app:

but seriously! cassian is just so horribly, consistently cruel to nesta throughout this book, specifically around her grief, her physical condition, and her mental health issues, especially around eating.

"His hazel eyes guttered. 'Not eating won’t bring your father back.' 'That has nothing to do with this,' she hissed. 'Nothing.' He braced his forearms on the table. 'We’re going to cut the bullshit. You think I haven’t gone through what you’re dealing with?'" -ACOSF, Chp. 5

"Cassian asked, 'What stair did you make it to?' 'One hundred eleven.' Nesta didn’t rise. 'Pathetic.'" -ACOSF, Chp. 8

"'I knew you didn’t have much muscle,' Cassian observed as Nesta lay belly-down on the ground, having collapsed onto her front after trying to hold a full-body plank, 'but this is absolutely pathetic.'" -ACOSF, Chp. 16

and Nesta clearly internalizes all of this, because these phrases recur in her narration over and over and over.

"She was pathetic for being so weak. Pathetic for now being unable to walk so much as a step without grimacing" -Chp. 13

“'They are when you’re as out of shape as I am.' A pathetic weakling" -Chp. 15

"She punched that thought out of herself, too. That pathetic, selfish thought. Just as all of her was pathetic, and selfish, and hateful." -Chp. 40

(i did leave out the "everyone hates you" conversation, because to be fair to Cassian, that's a moment where he's overwhelmed, and he does later apologize and walk it back and that's a genuine moment of growth for the two of them--which imo is just proof that he could be doing better in all these other situations!)

even the scenes where nesta and cassian are on the mountain, allegedly nesta's turning point, just make me so incredibly sad and frustrated on her behalf.

(even leaving aside the question of whether nesta was right to tell feyre about the pregnancy killing her, or how much it matters that she did it out of anger, or even if everyone is right to be mad at nesta which obviously im on nesta's side because FEYRE DESERVED TO KNOW LIKE WHAT THE FUCK DUDE WHO CARES IF SHE ONLY DID IT 'TO HURT FEYRE' FEYRE ISN'T MAD! HAVE YOU NEVER HAD A SIBLING???? SAYING THINGS TO HURT BECAUSE YOU LOVE THEM IS LITERALLY 99% OF IT!!!! AND ALSO CASSIAN AND LITERALLY EVERY OTHER CHARACTER IN THIS BOOK GET TO SAY HORRIBLE THINGS TO NESTA OUT OF ANGER, RHYSAND LITERALLY THREATENS TO KILL HER FOR TELLING HER SISTER THE TRUTH ABOUT HER OWN PREGNANCY? i hate these quotes.)

(all quotes here come from chapters 47-50, the mountain sequence.)

cassian is saying things "quietly--coldly" with "nothing kind in his face", "nothing warm in it. No challenge or light. Just solid, stonecold warrior", an "icy, amused gleam in Cassian’s eye" as he makes her carry a way-too-heavy pack...and just silence! he doesn't speak to her at all! and she sits there and thinks she deserves it! ("Let him drive her into the ground, let him make her walk and act the servant. It wouldn’t fix anything. Wouldn’t fix her."; "She deserved to be turned into bloody mist by Rhysand. Wished Cassian had not come to save her.")

meanwhile in cassian's head, he's sitting there shocked that she's suicidal, ("Cassian knew that Nesta often hated herself. But he’d never known she hated herself enough to want to … not exist anymore." BOY YOU'RE DUMB AS SHIT), hoping for her to be healed...and still making the explicit choice not to comfort her! ("Instinct bellowed at him to wrap himself around her, to comfort and soothe, but another voice, an ancient and wise voice, whispered to keep going. One more mountain, that voice said. Just one more mountain.")

it just like...makes me so goddamn miserable, and i feel like it undercuts everything in their relationship.

nesta collapses because she wasn't drinking water and cassian rushes over and gives her water and carries her to safety?

cool, the reason she wasn't drinking water in the first place is because he TOLD her no breaks and because, again, she thinks she deserves to be destroyed over the thing he's told her he's angry about! (also he yells at her, of course.)

cassian, over the course of this book, helps guide nesta toward healing and coming into her full power and ability as a warrior, who can then empower other women to do the same?

sure, but he does it by bullying her, assuming he knows best when he has no idea what she's actually going through and won't bother to ask, and being cruel and absent allegedly because she needs to "save herself."

and, of course, all of this is in the circumstances rhys and feyre have created where the only alternative nesta has to being locked in a house with cassian and going along with whatever he asks of her is literal fucking exile with the possibility of death. ("So, yes: Nesta might technically be able to return to the human lands, but she would find no companionship there, no warm welcome or town that would accept her. Wherever she was able to find a place to live, she would be essentially housebound, confined to the grounds of her home for fear of human prejudices." -Chp. 2)

and look. there are a lot of caveats that can be made, (and have been by the acotar fandom), and some that i can even sort of get behind.

the one i find most compelling: nesta is definitely shutting cassian out, hard, and intentionally doing it in ways that she knows will hurt him so that her self-isolation will be most effective. she isn't really in a place, especially at the start of the book, where she wants to get better, and she is willing to be mean in the process of accomplishing that. and i do see the appeal of cassian being willing to be "mean" back! that said...i don't know, the tone of it still doesn't personally land super well with me.

and yes, it is 100% more interesting and better fiction when characters in a book respond imperfectly to mental health issues. not every character should talk like a therapist, or like they've been to therapy! it's more fun when cassian is messy and responds imperfectly and gets mad! he's entitled to feel whatever frustrations he does!

but sarah j maas so obviously doesn't think that's what's going on here. what cassian does "works," in the fiction. in the story, he turns nesta's life around, to the point where she starts helping other people, and in the triumphant climactic fight of the entire novel exclaims "because my mate taught me well!" as she wins. nesta thinks that he's good and perfect and she doesn't deserve him for...the entire story. she bows to amren and begs forgiveness, when amren is the first person to tell her that she's literally "a pathetic waste of life." like, i think we're supposed to believe that nesta is pathetic and has to choose to be "better" and that's just...your mileage may vary, but i personally hate it.

to address some other semi-common talking points that frustrate me even more...

yes, mental illness does not excuse someone's behavior and you still need to be held accountable, even if your actions come from a place of hurt and mental illness! but...this isn't holding nesta accountable. even leaving aside the question of accountable for what, there is a difference between holding someone accountable and just being cruel, and i can't help but put this firmly in the second category. calling someone "pathetic" doesn't actually help them improve their treatment of others in any way. also, it's not like nesta isn't aware and critical of her impact on other people (arguably too critical, but again, i'm a bit of a nesta defender by way of hating Rhysand with my whole heart), she is in fact deeply aware and unable to change alone because it comes from a place of trauma! (and being surrounded by a bunch of controlling ultra-powerful centuries-old also traumatized politicians who fucking suck.)

and yes, mental health care is not always nice and flowery. sometimes there's nothing you can do, because ultimately people do have to save themselves! sometimes you do have to let someone break down before they will accept help! sometimes, speaking as someone who has been extremely mentally ill for a very long time, you need someone who's going to say "that's pretty fucked up, dude," or that it's a little ridiculous to be scared of how permanent tattoos are when you have the number of self-harm scars that you do, or even jokes about you being terrible and unforgivable when you apologize for something like asking to hang out or interrupting over the phone by accident! but those a) require a degree of trust, consent, existing relationship, and shared experience and b) are not what cassian is doing. tonally, contextually, it is obviously different.

also, you know what? the acotar series sells itself hugely on being a YA series--sort of; the marketing has definitely shifted now, like, I've seen ACOSF in adult sections, but when the first three came out, it was definitely YA-marketed, that's how i found it, and there are a lot of teenagers reading it still--anyway--a YA series that deals seriously with mental health issues, recovery, and abuse.

and if it wants to sell itself on that, it should do better.

i first read this series when i was 15. and i completely missed all of the ways that rhys is manipulative and controlling! i took the author at her word that he was a feminist, and feyre had choice and agency!

ACOSF didn't exist yet, but i really truly am afraid of how 15-year-old me, who was struggling with an eating disorder (among other things), would have internalized parts of this book.

so yeah, in summary: i can't in good conscience enjoy nesta and cassian's relationship when so much of it is these moments of cassian reinforcing nesta's self-hatred, and being just outright cruel to her in her weakest moments, and the narrative justifying it.

(also sorry, one more thing: the way that this makes nesta's physical "training," and getting physically in shape, into a solution for her eating disorder? there are many ex-ballerinas, myself included, who'd like a word about that. physical fitness and over-exercise is actually also a huge piece of disordered eating! okay, sorry, i'm actually done now.)

3. yeesh, that was heavy. let's do something more fun:

listen. first of all. nesta is bi as hell and SO INTO GWYN. LOOK AT THIS.

"Nesta looked at her from under lowered brows again. 'Get out of my sight.' Gwyn grinned, a broad, bright thing that showed most of her teeth and made her eyes sparkle in a way Nesta knew her own never had. 'Oh, you’re good.' Gwyn turned back to the stacks. 'Really good.' She vanished into the gloom. … Quiet settled around her, as if Gwyn had been a summer storm that blew in and evaporated within a moment." -Chp. 9

"Nesta allowed herself to listen--to savor the pure, sweet voice that rose and fell with sinuous ease. Gwyn's hair seemed to glow brighter with her song, skin radiating a beckoning light. Drawing any listener in." -Chp. 13

"The only bit of color and sound came from Gwyn." -Chp. 13

"Nesta closed her eyes, leaning into the music, shutting out one sense in order to luxuriate in the sound of her friend. Something beckoned in Gwyn’s song, in a way the others’ hadn’t. Like Gwyn was calling only to her, her voice full of sunshine and joy and unshakable determination. Nesta had never heard a voice like Gwyn’s..." -Chp. 52

"Gwyn bared her teeth. 'I refuse to leave you here.' ...Nesta said to Gwyn, “It is the only way.” Gwyn screamed, 'IT IS NOT THE ONLY WAY!' And then she was sobbing. 'I will not abandon you to them. They will kill you.' 'You need to go,' Nesta said, even as her hands began shaking. 'Now.' 'No,' Gwyn wept. 'No, I won’t. I’ll face it with you.' Something deep in Nesta’s chest cracked. Cracked open completely, and what lay within bloomed, full and bright and pure. She wrapped her arms around Gwyn. Let her friend sob into her chest. 'I’ll face it with you,' Gwyn whispered, over and over again. 'Promise me we’ll face it together.' Nesta couldn’t stop her tears then. The chill wind froze them on her cheeks. 'I promise,' she breathed, stroking Gwyn’s matted hair. 'I promise.'" -Chp. 69

NESTA YOU HAVE TO AT LEAST CONSIDER THE POSSIBILITY--

and then, @r-biter put me onto the "Cassian is a trans woman" headcanon and i have never looked back. it's mostly from the Mor situation and the "lesbian dating a trans woman before either of them have realized" dynamic, which is just so incredibly fun to me (because i lived it? perhaps). but there's also a good amount of...where does that deep, personal rage about girls not being able to train come from? what could lie underneath seeing your body as only a blade, honing it as a weapon and nothing else, excruciating command and control of it, and still seeing yourself as too rough and too much and a brute to be controlled?

can't i just have cool badass butch as hell six-foot-whatever-absurd-number trans women in fiction?

so yes, my ideal view of the future of nesta and cassian's relationship is that they break up, nesta dates some women, cassian does some introspection and comes out as a woman, and maybe the two of them end up back together, but maybe they don't and they have incredibly funny divorced-friends energy for the rest of time.

4. cassian...loves rhys more than nesta? and i feel like that's a significant problem for their relationship?

this is a far more watsonian analysis than anything else on this list, but i still feel like it's worth saying, because i have. SO MANY thoughts about the "Inner Circle" dynamic, and the character conflicts, and frankly abuse, that happens within the balance of the IC being set up as "family" but also being huge political movers with a very strict hierarchy and Rhysand having ultimate power and say...

which in the case of nesta and cassian, shows up in a lot of ways. sending Nesta to the House of Wind is Rhysand's idea and Cassian is willing to go along with it and take the heat; in the argument they have where he tells her everyone hates her, it's because she calls Rhysand an asshole; Rhysand threatens to kill Nesta when she tells Feyre about her pregnancy and all Cassian can do is get Nesta away, and he sympathizes with Rhys' feelings and reasons for doing it, as well as agreeing with him that Feyre shouldn't have been told; Cassian does vote to tell Nesta that she has Made extra-magical swords in opposition to Rhysand, but he also fully wants Rhys to become High King of Prythian and thinks Nesta's swords should be used toward that purpose, without giving any thought to what Nesta wants in the situation...

it's just honestly hard for me to see a relationship thriving in that situation, where ultimately Cassian will (it seems) always bow to Rhys' authority, and Rhys legitimately fucking hates Nesta. even with their "reconciliation" during the birth scene, i'm...i don't know. skeptical. what happens the next time there's a disagreement? (that High King plotline isn't going anywhere, unfortunately.)

and, to step out of in-universe dynamics for a moment, and into some personal speculation about the Doylist view of these things...i do think a lot of it is because Maas genuinely thinks Nesta was in the wrong, and people were right to resent her before she "redeemed" herself by her big sacrifice for Feyre? which is also deeply frustrating to me and affects my read of the Cassian/Nesta dynamic a lot.

just from events in the book--Nesta bowing to Amren and begging forgiveness; Nesta feeling guilt and shame about interacting with Mor and saying she understands why she is angry with her (when the thing Mor says about Nesta deserving to be in the Hewn City is like. SO fucked...in general, the comparison that is for some reason constantly running between Mor as like, a "good" survivor and Nesta as a bad one...i could write so much analysis about that alone); Nesta sacrificing her power for Feyre and Rhys then hugging her--it's clear that Maas to some extent views this as a redemption journey for Nesta and not just a healing one...

and I'm not convinced that was necessary?

like, a lot of people's problems seem to be her letting Feyre go into the woods, which is like...okay, yes, Feyre was fourteen, but Nesta was seventeen? she was also a child in this situation? and it sucks that she didn't step up, and she was definitely extremely petty in the first book...but so was Elain? and Elain is like, instantly forgiven for it? but Nesta is held to a higher standard? (the "nesta has the soul of an illyrian so i expect better from her" is so??? demeaning to both elain and nesta???) even when Feyre says she understands and forgives her?

ALSO, you know who ACTUALLY had an obligation to protect Feyre and failed? THEIR FUCKING DAD, WHO EVERYONE IS NOW DEIFYING AND JUDGING NESTA FOR NOT VISITING HIS GRAVE, LIKE--

and then there's...Nesta is cruel. she shuts people out. but i don't know, it feels deeply hypocritical to resent her for that when the centuries-old immortals she's surrounded by are regularly eviscerating people and making backhanded deals with each other's abusers (the way Rhys treats Mor is just like. SO wild) and lying to each other for no reason...and it's just the most insane double standard that we're expected to see them as perfect and nesta as irredeemable for being mean.

(a semi-related side note: i have to point out that the solstice book is so fucking funny because feyre's sitting there worrying about nesta drinking too much and every other page in that book is her and her friends drinking themselves to sleep. like, i get it, but also. girl.)

anyways, that was a lot of words about nesta's overarching treatment by the narrative, but to bring it back to her relationship with cassian specifically: i feel like she's never going to be justified out-of-universe, or liked in-universe, unless she just starts going along with what rhys and feyre want her to be and do, and that really sucks as a basis for her relationship with Cassian. and i don't think this is happening in canon as an exploration of the ways being royalty and political leadership and pressure like that fractures relationships, i think we're very very obviously supposed to love rhysand and see his inner circle as an idealized friendship group for feyre...which sucks for nesta!!!

also cassian azriel and rhys all just need to have a threesome at least once i think i think it would solve a lot of their problems like what do you MEAN you multiple times fucked girls in the same room as each other at the same time while you were growing up

5. gender roles speedrun roundup:

i often feel like reading the acotar series leaves me with a spectrum of reactions from "are straight people okay" to "yikes, gender roles," (there are no good options on this spectrum), which just makes me roll my eyes so hard at so many interactions between nesta and cassian.

i could write a lot here, or i could just toss you this quote:

"The first time she’d seen Cassian, she couldn’t take her eyes off him. She felt like she’d spent her life surrounded by boys, and then a man—a male, she supposed—had suddenly appeared. Everything about him had radiated that confident, arrogant masculinity. It had been heady and overwhelming, and all she’d wanted, all she’d wanted for so many months, was to touch him, smell him, taste him. Get close to that strength and throw everything she was against it because she knew he’d never break, never falter, never balk." -Chp. 10

like. what. is. what. do straight people really--

also i CANNOT take the use of male and female seriously there HAS to have been a better way to do that i just

to be more serious, there's also something really uncomfortable to me about nesta's view of cassian as the ideal of masculinity, and a fundamentally deeply good person (in opposition to her)...whereas we see so clearly from cassian's pov that he's just so deeply embedded in and surrounded by violence?

(i am never not thinking about the entire village that he slaughtered, and how he doesn't regret it, it took him ten years to "face" it but he doesn't regret it! apologies, i'm about to out myself as fundamentally A Star Wars Guy TM, but like...when anakin skywalker slaughters the entire village of people who murdered and assaulted his mother, it is--at least in theory, god those movies are bad--a very clear step into the dark side and the path that leads to him becoming the ultimate evil fascist imperial figurehead. whereas for cassian it's righteous and a step to him becoming "strong enough" to handle nesta!)

they are both a hopefully-unintentional weird racist exoticization of "tribal people" who mistreat women and get murdered for it written by white people though. god everything about the illyrians makes me feel so weird

the masculinity = violence thing is definitely not limited to cassian, (it's arguably worse with High Lord "get her out of here before i kill her for revealing that i was lying to my wife about her imminent death" Rhysand), so it's clearly an authorial thing seeping in, but it still makes me itch to dig my messy little fingers in and deconstruct it, you know?

so!

i'm sure i could write more, but this is already obscenely long--thank you for enabling me to write all of this! i hope it gave you a decent sense of my thought process...and i would love to hear any and all of your thoughts, i am as always so glad to be your friend in conspiracy-board-string meta and everything else.

[blackbloodedisabel]

hola it's my 15 questions for 15 friends.. thank you for the tag @the-lonelyshepherd<33

yeah I plagiarised your cut what are you gonna do about it

(are you named after anyone?)

not my first name but I got my middle name from one of my great-great aunts or something I'm not 100% sure

(when was the last time you cried?)

probably about 3-4 nights ago when I was crying a weeny bit over misty quigley but the last time I FR cried was like 2 and 1/2 weeks ago when I finished aurora by kim stanley robinson which was AUUgh

(do you have kids?)

I count many of my sims and OCs as my children but no I don't really

(what sports do you play?)

I HATE sports but I'm very unfit so I'll probably have to start cycling again yayy

(do you use sarcasm?)

I dabble.

(what's the first thing you notice about someone?)

I genuinely couldn't tell you. probably their eyebrows idk

(what's your eye colour?)

it's green in the middle bit and brown everywhere else. some people call it hazel I call it beer bottle

(scary films or happy endings?)

I hate both<3 happy endings can be ok I guess but I'm biased because I'm trying to write a fanfic (trying😒) which does not have a happy ending. but it's the happiest ending possible! I love tragedy

(where were you born?)

hopital

(any talents?)

I can write. if I so choose. I can also go very long without consuming any fluid and factorise quadratic equations

(do you have any pets?)

I count many of my sims and OCs as my pets but no I don't really

(how tall are you?)

idk like 160-something centimetres, so like. just below average. shortest in my family (AAAAAA!!) because I inherited the weeny genes from my maternal grandparents

(favourite subject at school?)

I like physical geography and maths occasionally

(dream job?)

would love to do something geography related like volcanology, seismology OR something like meteorology (more physics based). might be interesting to do environmental science-related work. if nothing works out I'll become a maths teacher and die before I retire. being an author would be cool but definitely as a supplement to a reliable job. right now (I need a job) I'd do great in a garden centre or as a swim assistant. if any employers are listening (leave my tumblr immediately if so!!)

optional tag list (scary I hate tagging.. guys you don't have to do it)

@ambp (so people don't think you're a botgirl), @sickfade, @holyfacehead, @stonergirrrlwrites, @namnjj, @bratyonce, @aziraphaleapologist

if you're supposed to tag 15 people I'm fucked😋😋 I have intimidating mutuals guys and several shep has tagged. if we are moots but I didn't tag you consider yourself a) very scary and b) invited to join in

[winter-spark]

So my Sora and Sakuya piece actually did what I consider really well, which got me all giddy and I had to share more KH a3! thoughts so here is a "little" post on how I think an A3! world would work in Kingdom Hearts.

If A3! appeared in Kingdom Hearts, the World would be called Actor's Paradise, I don't make the rules.

(It's not called Veludo Way because that's one of the locations they'd get to visit, and also Zafra wouldn't fit under that title)

Thinking about this with the thought that in another game they'd appear again the storylines used (sorry Summer and Autumn troupes) would either be Spring Year 1 first visit, Winter Year 1 second visit, or Winter Year 1 first visit, Winter Year 2 second visit.

Why these points in time?

Spring Year 1 is the introduction, I feel like Sora helping them handing out flyers and stuff and preparing for the first life-altering show would be nice, it could sorta have KH2 Twilight Town (minigames) vibes. It would give Sora a good chance to bond with a small amount of people and give Mankai a special place in Sora's heart. Plus then Sora would be invested in the act-off vs. God Troupe because he helped Mankai with their first high-stakes play.

I feel like the act-off vs. God Troupe is a good event to use because there's a lot of negativity in this arc like first off *vividly gestures to WInter Troupe* second off *vividly gestures to Reni and Haruto*. I think Heartless would love to be here. And I think after the act off Haruto almost gets eaten by a Boss Heartless, but don't worry he is saved.

As for Winter Year 2, my original first thought on if KH had an a3! world was it'd be called Actor's Paradise and Zafra would be visitable mainly for a specific event/scene like the Clock Tower in Neverland in KH(1). I figured that the best time for that would be Year 2 Winter because otherwise, it'd have to be an event story storyline. And I just really wanted to include Zafra.

But now I'm full-on imagining it, imagine it with me, the only two locations (that Sora could access in the trip to Zafra) would be the Zafra theater and like the off-limits hallway. And/or the front area, the front area makes a lot of sense. So I guess three areas unless the hallway is just used for cutscene purposes, which could be the case if we're going for clock tower vibes. The front area would have the save point.

The reason Sora doesn't go with Chikage and Itaru is because Heartless are already starting to attack and so he, (Donald, and Goofy) are asked to help protect the younger Spring Troupe members especially because they'll have a looming worry over all their heads making them prime bait, also Chikage has already proven to somehow hold his own against the Heartless. (And then ya know Itaru wasn't included in the Chikage count originally). I also think that Chikage wouldn't want Sora, Donald, and Goofy to accompany him because they don't exactly scream stealth mission, plus, I think if I recall KH lore correctly, having the Keyblade sorta makes you a target and I think that would be a problem for Chikage's mission.

Then, then, when the Chandiler falls and while/after the people are evacuated, Orange's subordinate who actively ignored orders to not kill Citron, turns into a Chandiler/Flame Heartless, aka the Boss Heartless here and Sora fights 'em adding to the destruction of the theater lol.

{Alt, alt. of the visit schedule Spring Year 1 first visit, Winter Year 2 second visit but then there would be no proper introduction to Winter Troupe lol. None of those leave a proper introduction to Chikage? That's fine, that's one person who will have some strange skills Sora Donald and Goofy, are both impressed by and a little scared of(Donald is either like "he's not that impressive" or "gee Sora why aren't you that impressive ( ͡º ͜ʖ ͡º )" there's no in-between I don't make the rules.) Like maybe him handling the Heartless is how he meets our trio? Maybe a temporary team-up and they're all heading to Mankai and it's like "surprise! we know the same people". & Chikage is just like "（＾∀＾）I haven't met a single normal person since joining Mankai so yea this checks" How does his discomfort(?) with animals play in? I dunno, who's Chikage?}

As I conclude this I want to also say that these events are picked out with Sora in mind. If this was Sea Salt, Summer or Autumn troupe probably would be a good group for them to meet(I'm really feeling Banri & Roxas meeting tbh but also I think they could very easily join the "we love Tenma and making fun of him is how we show it" train). For Keyblade Knights it's sorta debatable, I would love for Aqua to meet Citron and Winter Troupe, but a part of me feels like Terra should meet Autumn Troupe, and then I start to go that route because not only does Terra meeting like each of them but especially Juza and Omi just make sense, but Taichi should probably meet Ven(why? I dunno) but I think really Ven would like to hang out with Summer Troupe, like come on he'd have so much fun with them. Maybe if it were in BBS Aqua would get the Spring or Winter plotline, Ven the Summer one, and Terra the Autumn one lol. Oh, I think Riku and Autumn troupe too tbh. Or maybe Riku and Winter Troupe. I think Riku meeting Banri and Juza is, like, almost something, but I also think that his vibes are kinda Winter Troupe, ya know?

Anyway, Sora and Sakuya would get along so well, they'd be besties really and truly and Citron would adore Sora because Sora, like Sakuya, is a big sweetheart. Tsuzuru agrees with Donald on something at some point and is just like 'Wow, I just agreed with a talking magical duck. What's next?' but also wonders if he could write something lowkey inspired by this. Itaru is like a combination of 'lol' 'this is kinda weird' and 'so is Sora like the chosen one? Having a Keyblade seems cool but also that looks like a lot of physical hard work, good luck with that *draws a picture of if he had Keyblade* *actively making sure Tsuzuru's taking notes for when he hires him*'. And Masumi just wants them to stop being so loud because they are lowkey always yelling.

I'm not gonna do any other meetings because this is highkey lowkey about Sora Donald and Goofy meeting Spring Troupe. But in the back of our minds, we should all think about Aqua and Citron meeting and Aqua teaching him how to make wayfinders anyway.

Thank you for reading all the way through this long post and it's bad jokes. ^^

[lucabyte]

i feel like people are sleeping on the occam's razor situation of how buckwild it is to outright accuse a guy of being a clone of your friend even if you DO have a lot of circumstantial evidence. there's other options is what im saying. they could just be like. a guy. that's a sensible deduction. you should explore that deduction. ignore my shirt that reads I <3 RED HERRINGS.

i still think odile has the correct theory on lock but she's smart enough to know it needs like... a real smoking gun to be able to bring it up without sounding insane.

anyway. (mirabelle voice) i know its rude to speculate but has anyone else noticed the grieving? they seem to be grieving. does anyone have any thoughts on the grieving? i have some thoughts on the grieving.

[bonefall]

Voted for Bumble bc of course but also if you think Alex would not pspsps Bumble you are wrong. If they could communicate they would go to therapy together /s

If then could communicate they would go to therapy together

/GEN

Kyle/Green Lantern resurrects her but then he becomes convinced that she's not the same person she was before the incident, OR SOMETHING SOMETHING Black Lanterns aren't ACTUALLY bad they're just misunderstood Grim Reaper types, in either case Alex ends up breaking it off with Kyle because they've become very different people.

And then Bumble's there

And then they go to therapy or Alex adopts Bumble, and then uhhh Bumble's like one of the superpets. Like Krypto the Superdog. Free premise go forth and play with it if ur a DC fan

[kyouka-supremacy]

---

[mikoran]

if mike really loved el, then they wouldnt have made him so defensive over it. they wouldnt have made him shift the blame. deflecting from the problem and blaming other people is a confirmation of guilt, especially in tv shows where they show things like that in clear, recognizable ways for the audience to pick up on them. if they wanted to show that mike really loved her, they wouldnt have made his actions so incriminating. simple as that.

[quietwingsinthesky]

the thing about me is that I have this need to pick up every angel on supernatural by their scruff and place them into an enclosure that will allow them to, if not heal and become better, than at least to be petty and vindictive in a way that causes less death and destruction and is just kind of annoying. which I would argue is also good for them. let angels make choices where the consequences of their actions are non-existent rather than world-ending. teaches them free will in a safe, healthy way.

[technicolorxsn]

I love cam and gideons bromance it's everything to me