#dogfoods | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

eeboshmeebo · 5 days

Text

🍪Char'cute'rie🫖

🧀

You browsed through the various cheeses and dried meats the store had available. Smoked gouda was good, but not complex enough despite it being savory and strong. Perhaps a goat cheese? A bit gamey, but also soft, gently tangy and easy to pair with or spread onto vegetables and crackers.

Maybe a sharp cheddar. Tangy, salty, with an aged bitterness that mellowed it all out. Not to mention the array of dried meats! To counter such salty, rich flavors, a refreshingly light mozzarella or brie would pair better.

Or maybe..!

"Darling, I know you really like choosing the ingredients yourself, but you shouldn't bend over like that for so long. It isn't good for your back."

You didn't jump, since he had an arm wrapped around your shoulder for quite a while now. You turned to look at him, a fond smile on your face as you set down a packaged piece of blueberry goat cheese back into the store's display.

"Says you, Mono-bon. Isn't your arm fully asleep by now?"

"Perhaps. But I trust that my beloved, gorgeous armrest wouldn't mind."

"Five dates, and finally a promotion to armrest? Awww, I'm flattered."

After a small period of silence, both of you started giggling. You leaned into his touch and he moved closer to you, nuzzling your shoulder.

"This feels like I'm getting dogfood shoved into my mouth." Rin grumbled as he grabbed any cheese and meat that caught his eye suitably.

"You could've split up and gone with Ibara and Shishida instead of being a third wheel, y'know!" You called out to him, a grin on your face while Monoma continued to nuzzle into your shoulder.

"Bleh. Don't remind me, I'll just go do that now."

"Pff-heh. Okay, see you later."

Both you and Monoma finally settled on some aged salami and a few cheeses you trusted his taste in. After browsing a bit more, a suitable herb garnish and dried fruits along with fresh ones were chosen as well as a few choice unsalted nuts.

At the self-checkout, however, you got an idea.

"Hey, how does some browsing at the farmer's market sound? We have some extra time to use, after all, and there's baked goods over there."

Monoma contemplated that for a few moments, his hands scanning the items in the basket he had brought before he finally said something.

"Yeah, that sounds pretty nice now that I think about it. Also, nope!"

You were so close to finally paying, but he tapped his card against the screen and paid before you had a chance to even swipe yours.

"Aww, no faaaiiiir." You whined, pocketing your own card in favor of complaining lightheartedly.

"You can spend your money at the farmer's market later, alright sugar?"

"Mm-hmm."

And so, to the farmer's market you both went.

🫖

You looked around the market, Monoma's hand held in your own. You both walked through the market searching for anything that'd catch either his or your interest before you both were standing in front of a beekeeper's stand.

"Ooh, do you think these little charms are handmade? They're so adorable!"

You gushed over the small bee charms that were on display next to the honey. Small and shiny with big, shimmering eyes and wonky little blue wings.

"They're kind of cute. Lumpy, but cute." He murmured, though he was perhaps eying them a bit too much to sound so disinterested.

Immediately, you slapped some cash on the table that you had sneakily counted out earlier and took two matching bees.

"Wha-!?" "You said that I could pay this time~!"

The look he got on his face was both sour and sweet, like a cherry. On second thought, you could've sworn there was someone selling cherries in a stand up ahead...

"Hnnnn."

Monoma made a sound like he was grievously wronged (was sent to detention for harassing class A again) when he saw that you were ignoring him in favor of looking at other things. You let out a breath of endearment as you clipped one of the charms to his clothes and kissed his cheek.

"I was just thinking about cherries, hun. How about we go get some for dessert?"

"Mmnnnn... sure! I just want an extra 'treat' when we get home later."

"Sure, sure. I'll make as many treats as you want later."

He pouted, since he felt that his message didn't get across properly, but he let you drag him along to the (and buy) cherries anyways and soon the smile returned to his face.

"These cherries remind me of you, somewhat." You said, picking up one by the stem and examining the yellow and blush-red fruit closely.

"Oh, really? Well, I can tell you that I'm better than some bite-sized fruit-"

"Nom~"

Monoma froze up as you nibbled his earlobe, tracing your tongue behind his ear before pulling back and eating the cherry you had in your hand earlier.

"In public???"

"Yep, in public. I can't let you get jealous over a fruit so easily, y'know~?"

He huffed while holding his ear, but the sparkle in his blue granite-hued eyes showed how pleased he was with your sudden tease. In retaliation, he wrapped an arm around your waist.

"How'd you like that for teasing, you little macaron?"

"Nnnn... I say that I like this very much, croquembouche."

"Croquembouche? Well, I'm definitely much more than a pile of sugary pastry, I assure you!"

You teased each other back and forth with smiles on your faces, walking out of the market with a bag with each person before Monoma abruptly stopped and pulled you over, for once, to look at a potter's stall... or, what was supposed to be a potter's stall.

The potter who seemed to also be the stall owner wasn't there and there was nobody there to watch over and sell the goods. At least the prices were visibly labelled next to the various cups and bowls. Seems like the stall owner trusted the other stall owners to prevent anyone from stealing.

"Hn."

You both made eye contact with each other, silently agreeing on an activity you both did when presented with a lot of options.

You put one hand over Monoma's eyes and he put one over your eyes, covering each other's sight before reaching out and grabbing one cup on the table each before the reveal.

You had chosen a cup that felt the best against your hand. It vividly reminded you of Monoma, who had chosen one that was just the right weight and glaze in his hand when his eyes were closed, that reminded him of you.

"...we're definitely buying these."

A quick decision. Looking at the prices on the cups, they were a small luxury but also high-quality, so you left the money on the table (and enjoyed Monoma's disgruntled look as you did) before leaving the farmer's market.

Your friends (Monoma's classmates) were waiting in a car. Apparently, they were searching for you after Shishida confessed that he couldn't find you and him in the store anymore. Oops.

🫕

At the dorms, you washed the cherries and cut them into halves to take out the pits before arranging them on the charcuterie board.

A perfect blend of red, yellow, orange, pink, white, beige, brown and green was arranged on the board. Fruits, nuts, salted and dried meats, garnish herbs, and milk chocolate chips sprinkled across the board itself with a small container for the toothpicks.

Someone took one of the toothpicks and also took a bite of cheese.

"Hey, aren't you on a diet?"

You turned to face Monoma with a slight glare, taking off your gloves and pinching his cheek that had gotten noticeably rounder ever since you started dating him.

"Ow! Yeah, but a little cheese won't hurt anybody! Besides, calories aren't real, just science fiction."

He winced a bit after you pulled your hand back and rubbed the place on his cheek that still stung. His eyes teared up a bit and his lower lip started to tremble...

"...fine, you can have some more along with the 'treat' I promised you."

Immediately, Monoma's teary eyes and pitiful expression went away like a dandelion seed in the wind as he took a few more pieces. The toothpick he had now looked like a mini kebab that he constantly nibbled on.

You could kind of see the comparison between him and a Roborovski dwarf hamster from how he was nibbling on it. Cute.

...

You kissed him on the cheek where a small mark had started to redden. He quickly lit up like a lava lamp and almost dropped his snack before he ate the last of it.

"Time for that treat I promised you, Monoma~!"

"Wha-?"

He followed you to his dorm, his mind working furiously at a speed definitely not used for studying before his eyes widened. His realization came too late, however, and you dragged him into his dorm before locking the door behind you both...

💝

Kuroiro bitterly chewed on some cherries, having seen Monoma and his partner run off to their dorms and leaving only half of the charcuterie board's contents left for the class.

"Isn't he supposed to be on a diet? He's always off eating some fatty food of some sort with his... ugh."

Awase patted Shihai on the back, eating a chunk of cheese that he had picked up earlier.

"He's probably working off those calories right now! With his partner! And... and..."

Awase trailed off as he realized the many possibilities that Monoma might be doing something that only someone with a partner can do, with you.

"Just shut up at this point, you dumbasses. You're just gonna make yourselves feel more like single dogs the more you guys talk." Kamakiri grumbled, stabbing a piece of a cherry with one of his blades and almost swallowing it whole if not for the fact he needed to chew first.

"Rin taught me that, by the way. The term 'single dog'. He's pretty good at insulting people when it gets down to it."

And with that, Awase and Kuroiro settled back to snacking before Kendo caught them to scold them both about snacking so late at night.

🏵️

[Bonus]

The potted plant opened its eye discreetly, surveying the market for his friend.

"He can't keep doing this. Really, what if the cash and goods were stolen?"

He had hidden the money under his flowerpot a long while ago for safekeeping. Long leaves sure were a blessing! Though, he finally caught sight of his friend (and his friend's two children) soon after.

"...oh well. He's having fun. It's not like I can stop him."

He closed his singular eye afterwards, taking a nap now that he was assured that he wasn't left behind. Again.

#'dogfood' is a term used when a single person feels envy when seeing a couple flirt. learned it from chinese novels ( •̀ ω •́ )✧#neito monoma x reader #monoma neito x reader #reference to a fic I wrote earlier #monoma x reader #monoma neito #neito monoma #mha monoma #Wash your produce (Fruits and veggies. etc.) before eating them! Don't follow this you's example!#Suggestive part at the end.

7 notes · View notes