#don’t come for me on the type I’m not a graphic designer lol

[swordsandholly]

Across the Way

Chapter 4: New and Old Problems Alike

Retired!Ghoap x Fem!Fat!Reader

Ao3 | Previous - Next | Masterlist

MDNI | cw: fainting, some medical inaccuracies

Word Count: 5.8k

Summary: You go to Scotland with high hopes for your future. After all, you have the bakery you always dreamed of and a whole new life to live. Plus, the men who own the butcher’s shop across the street seem nice.

You haven’t texted them, even three days later. That little sticky note haunts the surface of your kitchen counter. It taunts you - tells you that you should text them and at least give them your number. That you’re being a terrible neighbor. They might need you too, after all. Even though you can’t figure out why they might for the life of you. On the other hand, you can’t help but feel wary about it. Men don’t take an interest in you - people in general rarely take interest. It’s hard not to feel suspicious, as pure as you’re sure their intentions probably are.

More so than any of that, you don’t know what to say. If it had been day one you could have just put your name, but now you feel like you need to explain. Or at least be funny or something. Tossing and turning on your designated rest day about what the hell you should do.

You’re overthinking it. You know that. You can’t stop, either.

They just seem so cool - so put together. So unlike you. You want to impress them. You don’t want to ruin the first possibility of friends in this new life you’re building for yourself.

Eventually you work up the courage to send off an initial text to each of them. Just to give them your name to save if they so choose - plus an extra thank you to Simon for giving you their numbers in the first place. Something simple and borderline cold. Too cold, maybe? Maybe you sound irritated. You hope not. You just want them to like you. Friends in new places are hard and to have someone around you who gets how it feels to need accommodations would just feel so… lovely. Your phone may or may not go flying onto your bed while you bury your face in your hands out of sheer nervousness.

You don’t expect it to chime about a minute later. Right as you’re staring to calm down, of course. It sends your heart violently pounding all over again.

J >> Bonnie lass!

J >> So glad u texted!!

>> Sorry it took so long lol

Oh, you could just slap yourself. You don’t have anything better than that? At all? Christ.

J >> Nah Nah

J >> No worries

J >> Actually I was wondering if u would mind if I came by tomorrow

J >> Just to chat

J >> need an excuse to get out of the house

“How the hell does he type that fast?” You scoff to yourself.

>> Yeah, come by anytime.

>> totally

>> yea sounds cool

>> rad, man

A message from Simon pops up mid your internal battle with how to respond, replying with a simple thumbs up. Very in character, you think. He knows how to be nonchalant. What would Simon say? Something casual, maybe a little formal.

>> If you like. You’re always welcome.

Okay maybe that was too much like Simon. You sigh heavily m before adding,

>> I’m trying out a new blueberry loaf

>> If you want to test for me :)

Better. That’s a little better. With another heavy sigh you decide to drop your phone into your nightstand for the rest of the day. Your heart really cannot handle this much emotional pressure.

~~~

You sort of end up just forgetting about the texts. With your phone out of sight and out of mind upstairs in your apartment it almost catches you off guard when Johnny comes striding through the door just before close. He’s dressed more casually than the last couple of times you saw him - having broken out the summer shorts and a graphic tee for some band you don’t recognize. It suits him, though.

“Hey, bon.” He grins.

“Hey.” You smile back, finishing with putting up your stocking baskets before dusting off your hands and turning around. “Simon closing up?”

“Aye.”

You hum. “Come on back, I’ll get you a slice of that loaf I mentioned.”

Johnny follows you quietly. Uncharacteristically quietly. That’s okay - you don’t have a problem with hanging out in silence. It doesn’t feel tense, surprisingly enough. He leaves Riley out front again. Should you get her a dog bed? Maybe if he comes by consistently. That would be nice. Maybe that’s wishful thinking.

“It’s sort of a pound cake but fluffier. I might make an icing for it but I don’t know if that would be too sweet…” You trail off, focusing on plating up the piece. You’re not sure what compels you to try and make it pretty for him. Probably something you could blame on your grandmother. She did have an obsession with presentation.

Johnny hums loudly after taking a bite, talking around the mouthful. “Y’should totally make an icing.” He swallows roughly. “Si would go crazy fer this.”

“Oh?” You smile. “I’ll send some home with you.”

There’s a lapse of silence while Johnny chews on his slice of bread and you pack up some in a paper bag for him to take home. The only sounds in the room comprised of your cutting and folding and the hum of the cooling oven.

“You’re being weirdly quiet.” You blurt, immediately covering your mouth with your hand. “I, uh, I mean that isn’t a bad thing! I don’t mind… I just, uh, was… sorry, never mind…”

“Well I did come wit’ a bit of an ulterior motive…” Johnny admits, glancing off to the side shyly. It’s a show, you think. Johnny doesn’t seem the type of man to have felt shy a day in his life.

You tilt your head. “Oh?”

He dusts off his hands and grins. “Let us take ye out! In celebration of yer first full month.”

Has it been a month already? “Oh - no, no you don’t have to-“

“C’mon! It’s a big accomplishment.” His smile is so bright that you almost believe his idea that you’ve done something great.

“…alright.” You give a tentative smile. It’s hard to believe they like you enough to want to hang out casually in the evening. Hard to imagine anyone liking you that much but you’re not one to look a gift horse in the mouth.

“There’s a pub down the street - the one on the corner. Want tae meet us there around six?” Johnny gives you that lovely smile. How could you ever say no to a smile like that?

“Okay.”

You spend far too long changing in and out of clothes and fussing with your hair. Up-do’s and buns and braids. A tank top then a sweater then a t-shirt. There’s no reason to feel this stressed over it. It’s not a date or anything. Besides, it doesn’t seem to make a difference. Either way you look like a frumpy dumpling. Eventually you land on jeans and one of your designated ‘going out tops.’ At least it’s a good excuse to wear something other than work clothes or loungewear.

Excitement and anxiety thrum under your skin like electricity as you make your way down the street. You feel painfully nauseous - stopping once or twice just to make sure you aren’t about to throw up for real.

The pub is surprisingly quiet when you enter. Obviously somewhere only real locals hang out - there’s no theme or really any decor in general. Just a bar, some booths and a couple pool tables. You scan the floor a few times, not seeing either Johnny or Simon (not that they would be hard to miss). Eventually you just grab a soda from the bar and slide into one of the booths closer to the back. A quiet spot facing the door where you can easily watch for them.

As time ticks on you begin to grow increasingly nervous. Did you get the time wrong? No, no you triple checked. You even wrote it down in your planner. Your leg begins to bounce furiously, heart nearly beating out of your chest. Did they decide to ditch? You wouldn’t really blame them. They’re way out of your league when it comes to friends. Maybe Johnny had an emergency? Should you call Simon? If he had an emergency it would make sense that they would forget to notice you. What if something really bad happened? What if-

The front door opens and Simon’s wide frame strides through, holding the door for Johnny and Riley to come in behind him. You let out a quiet sigh of relief, willing your leg to stop bouncing with a pinch to your thigh. Why are you always so damn dramatic?

Johnny lights up with an ear to ear grin when he spots you, bee-lining for the booth while Simon casually walks up to the bar. It’s almost comedic, the way he dwarfs the counter. Johnny leans on the side of the booth, waiting for Simon, you think.

“Glad ye could come out.” He looks you over, eyes flicking from your plain top to the very practical, not at all stylish up do that you landed on for the evening.

You do your best not to squirm under his gaze. “Me too…”

Simon comes back with two beers in hand and slides them onto the table. He scoots into the inner booth to give Johnny the outer edge. Riley happily sits beside his leg and practically grins at you in a near mirror image of Johnny’s. You’d never do it while she’s on the job, of course, but part of you wants to give her a pat on the head and coo at her for being so polite.

Johnny gives you an apologetic smile. “Sorry we were a bit late-”

“Johnny redid his hair about five times.” Simon butts in, not reacting at all to Johnny’s sputtering protest. He glances at your half-drunk soda. “Want me t’ grab you a beer?”

“Oh, no, I’ll just stick to coke.”

They blink at you. Simon cocks his head slightly. “You sure?”

You chew your lip. “Uh, alcohol tends to aggravate my symptoms is all...”

“Then why’d ye agree to drinks? We coulda gone somewhere else.” Johnny frowns.

You shrug. “I don’t mind. I… maybe this is over sharing but I’d rather go out and be kind of normal than just… not ever. Y’know?”

His expression softens. For having such icy blue eyes they are so, so warm. “I get it.”

“How’d you two meet anyway?” You blurt, taking a left turn to get the conversation off of you. It’s the first question that comes to mind. Maybe it’s rude - maybe you’re prying too much already.

“Military.” Simon grunts. “SAS.”

“Si retired wit’ me after I was discharged.” Johnny points to his scar the same way he did when you first met. “Russians scrambled my egg a bit.”

“Couldn’t do the time apart…” Simon murmurs, eyes locked on Johnny’s face. It’s vulnerable. More than he’s used to - you can see it in the way he tenses after saying it.

Something passes between them that a deep, wounded part of you desperately wishes to understand.

You can’t help but start giggling to yourself. They both give you an incredulous look. “Sorry, sorry - it’s just, that’s like… totally a romance book premise. It’s sweet. Really.”

“Och, aye. Wouldn’t know it t’ look at him but Si’s a real romantic.” Johnny bats his eyes at the other man, who just rolls his in response. The corner of his scarred mouth quirks up subtly.

“SAS…” You repeat, staring at your drink. “That’s like Navy Seal shit, right?”

“We worked with them a few times, yes.” Simon nods. There’s an air of ‘do not ask anything more specific’ in his voice.

“Huh.” You take that for what it is and sit back, squinting at them. “You don’t look it, honestly.”

Johnny laughs. “Tha’s just cause ye havennae seen Simon with his gear on. The Ghost.” He wiggles his fingers along as he makes a stupid, spooky sound effect. “I domesticated him.”

Simon scoffs but doesn’t deny it, just takes a quiet sip of his beer.

“Riley’s a vet, too.” Johnny pats her head. “Got too skittish around loud noises but she transitioned into a service dog nicely.”

“Now she’s just spoiled.” Simon rolls his eyes in faux annoyance. You get the strong feeling that he’s the one doing the spoiling.

You find yourself relaxing as the night goes on. Slouching in your seat rather than sitting ramrod straight and nervously twiddling your thumbs. They never press you to drink, never insist that you’ll be fine with just one. They take your statement as fact and it isn’t brought up again. That shouldn’t be as significant as it is, now that you think about it.

Johnny’s words begin to slur a little bit on his fourth, no maybe fifth, beer. You aren’t sure. It’s very cute, the little blush that forms across his cheeks. Simon loosens up, too. He slings an arm around the back of the booth and Johnny readily tucks himself into the open spot. You find yourself wondering about their military career again. You can’t picture either of them committing violence - especially Simon. Sure, he’s big and gruff but he looks at Johnny so, so softly.

Simon is the one to call it a night - though you have a feeling its because you nodded off a couple times. Not out of boredom, you try really, really hard to pay attention to Johnny rambling about the chemistry of different explosives. He makes it interesting, somehow. Really it’s just that you’ve been awake for… holy shit almost twenty hours!

“D’you need a ride?” Simon asks as you exit the pub, hands firmly shoved into his pockets.

“No, I’ll be fine.” You don’t know how to interpret the look he’s giving you. It’s intense, but not annoyed or displeased. He has such a weird knack for unreadable but distinct expressions. You wonder if you’ll ever get close enough to get good at deciphering them.

You jump when Johnny takes both your hands in, kissing the backs of them with a sloppy, drunk smile. “Thank ye fer comin’ out. “

Somehow your face feels hotter than a damn oven. You tuck your hands to your chest, kicking shyly at the sidewalk. “Th-thanks for the invite. We, uh, we could do it again sometime?”

You glance up hopefully, praying that you didn’t misread the situation. You’ve done that before - thought people liked you more than they did. Johnny just grins wider somehow and nods excitedly.

You watch them walk off in the other direction, hand in hand. Johnny giggles about something loudly and you can see Simon’s shoulders shake with a far more silent laugh. All the way until they disappear down the street.

The sheer amount that the image hurts your heart makes you feel evil.

~~~

The pub changed something. What, you don’t know. Either way, you fall into an easy pattern with Johnny and Simon over the next couple weeks. Exchanges of food, leftovers or morsels about to turn, little visits back and forth between your shops. Johnny continues to stop by after close, just hanging around with you while Simon closes up shop.

You can’t deny how much you look forward to hearing that door chime followed by a too-loud greeting from Johnny. How your heart flips in your chest when those bright blue eyes peek around the corner into the back room or light up while trying a new recipes you’ve been testing. You’re still a bit awkward - unsure how to react when he throws an arm around your shoulders or listens oh so intently while you talk about nothing important.

Things can’t ever be all sunshine and rainbows, though. Not for you. A new problem has arisen as summer truly sets in - the comfortable spring breezes giving way to nothing but bright, unfiltered sun. One you didn’t expect to impact you this much living this far north.

Heat.

It’s hard to breathe in the back room while you’re baking. Hard to keep your water and salt intake high enough to compensate for how fast you lose them. You might as well get a permanent saline drip attached to you at this point. You definitely didn’t google if that was physically possible. Your budget for liquid IVs and other supplements nearly doubles. Standing over the massive oven in the back room has your head swimming a few times. You end up resting longer on your weekends, unable to keep up like you could in cooler weather.

It’s okay, you tell yourself, the summer here isn’t like back home. It will pass quicker. Plus, you at least have methods of dealing with it now other than crossing your fingers and praying.

“Bonnie!” Johnny suddenly appears in your doorway - that charming smile splitting his face from ear to ear. “Ye made it up Main Street yet?”

“No?” You tilt your head and try to ignore the way your vision spots momentarily at the motion. “Why?”

“Ye dinnae hear about the summer festival?” He leans on your counter. You shake your head. “It’s a yearly thing. Not that big a deal but they have some fun games an’ it’s nice tae see everyone out an’ about. Si an’ I are about tae head down. Come wit’?”

You hesitate. The exhaustion in your body tugs at your spine. Your limbs feel heavy. This morning really got to you - out of towners who must have come for the festival flooded your shop the moment it opened on top of your Saturday regulars. Not that you’re complaining, really. It’s easily your best day so far. You want to go with them, though, despite the ache in your back and the sting in your joints. It sounds so fun and it’s never a bad idea to take part in your new community’s festivities.

“Yeah. That sounds nice.” You smile. You can tough it out for an hour, then come back home. Yeah, just an hour. You’ll be fine.

You hadn’t noticed Simon leaned up at the entrance to your shop. Your eyes lock on his arms. This is the first time you’ve actually seen him in short sleeves. You can’t help but stare at his half-sleeve tattoo - all skulls and bombs and other military motifs. Faded and sun worn. Yeah, if you’d seen that sooner you definitely would have picked up on the whole military thing. You bite your lip to keep from snickering about it.

You can hear the music drifting from the speakers down the street. A few kids run by with balloons and cheap carnival prizes. It almost reminds you of the Spring Fling back home, just missing the extreme American flag theming across every booth and vendor front. Now that you’re looking around, you can actually see several booths that have been sponsored by various businesses in the area. Even the post office has a snow cone stand. The deeper you get into the event, the more flamboyant the decor becomes. Multicolored streamers and pennet flags connect stands, creating an almost canopy effect.

Simon stops rather abruptly at a booth, waiting behind a few teenagers tossing rings onto bottles. You stop with Johnny about two feet away. What’s he thinking? Simon doesn’t seem like the type who would be too entertained by basic carnival games. Even so, he steps forward and passes over a couple bills to the vendor as soon as the teenagers leave.

“Si’s really good at these. Watch.” Johnny grins beside you.

“Aren’t they rigged?” You raise an eyebrow.

Johnny doesn’t answer, eyes locked on his husband as he lines up one of the rings. You have to lean slightly to see around the breadth of the man - the multicolor rings almost cartoonishly small in his hands. Cute. Your eyes get impossibly wide with each toss, every single one landing comfortably on the bottle necks as if it’s the easiest thing in the world. As if this isn’t one of the most commonly rigged carnival games.

“Holy shit…” You mutter, still staring.

“Aye, tha’s a SAS sniper for ye.” Johnny laughs. “Glad tae see it still comes in handy.”

Simon huffs out a quiet laugh at that. Almost more of a sigh if it weren’t for the shaking of his shoulders. You love it - their little dynamic. The bond between them that’s so strong it’s almost visible.

“‘ere.” Simon turns to you suddenly, holding out a cheap little carnival prize. You can’t even begin to decipher what it’s supposed to be - some sort of furry puff ball with big, embroidered anime eyes and two felt antennae sticking up out of it’s purple head… body… thing…

Your face heats. “F-, uh, me?”

He shrugs. “Suits you. Riley will just chew it up if we take it home.”

“Aye. She’s so good with everythin’ but cheap plushies.” Johnny snickers.

You glance down at the dog in question - her dark eyes glued to the toy in Simon’s hand. Her tail thumps against the ground where she sists dutifully, but you can see the desire to snatch the thing away in her twitchy ears and pleading eyes. You snort, taking the stupid thing and tucking it under your arm with the prayer that they don’t notice the heat now spreading from your cheeks to your ears.

“Thanks…” you murmur, already mentally deciding where to add it to the mess of stuffies covering your bed already.

Somehow you end up walking between them down the street - Simon on your left and Johnny on your right with Riley in tow. You stop at a few other games here and there. All pretty basic. Johnny absolutely kills at the dunk booth.

Simon tires his hardest to help you with your terrible aim, “Just visualize it. Y’have t’ account for the arc.”

You get to the point of sticking your tongue out in concentration. Even so you only manage to knock down a couple of the wooden ducks at the ‘Dunk-A-Duck’ stand. You do, however, win one of those rock candy sticks at the guessing booth. You just hand it off to Johnny. It’s probably not best to load up on sugar in your current state.

Johnny excitedly points to different buildings giving you a rundown of the history of his hometown as you walk. Simon seems to barely be listening. He’s probably heard this a thousand times. Prattling on about the old town square, the church bell that a bunch of teenagers spray painted one time (Johnny was not involved, how could you accuse him of that?)

You find yourself focusing on your feet - keeping each step even and fast enough to remain on pace with them. One, two, one, two, one, two. The air begins to thicken. Muggy and heavy on your skin. Your breaths become shallow and fast. You can’t catch it, the air seeming to get stuck in your throat rather than reaching your lungs. Spots begin to dance across your vision. You stumble over nothing.

Not now! Come on! You’ve been doing so well!

Riley presses against your leg acting as a counter weight. Your body moves on instinct to grab whatever you can - hands wrapping around something strong and covered with cloth. An arm solid as rebar. Hopefully it’s someone you know. All you can see are colorless shapes.

“Gonna pass out - don’t freak!” You gasp before your legs give out.

It’s not that you go entirely out - it’s rare that you fully black out. It’s more like being stuck. Limp and fuzzy and confused. Almost like sleep paralysis. There’s voices and people moving around you. Someone has picked you up, you think, based on the swaying motion and the passing shapes around you. Maybe that’s just vertigo. A door bell chimes.

You finally begin to really come to when something icy is pressed to your forehead. It couldn’t have been more than a handful of seconds that you were gone, but it takes much longer for the world around you to come back into focus.

“I’m sorry…” You murmur, eyes stinging. Even after all these years it’s so damn embarrassing. You blink, the distinct mural that decorates the ceiling of the post office slowly coming into view. Johnny said a big time traveling artist painted it back in the nineties.

“Ye alright?” Johnny murmurs, crouched down beside you. Riley sniffs at your hand, seeming satisfied when you finally move it on your own.

You nod slowly. “Overheated…”

“Give her this.” Someone says. An event medic, you think. The boys must have flagged them down. Fingers press to your pulse point, a light shines in your eyes and you follow it. A quick check of vitals. Johnny shoves a water bottle in your hand as soon as the medic decides you’re fine to move - the contents distinctly murky from some sort of electrolyte pack that’s been shaken into it.

“Up y’get. Slowly does it.” Simon helps you sit up with a hand on your back. It’s so gentle. You don’t miss how he cages in your body the way only someone intimately familiar with caretaking might. Fully ready to catch you if you go limp again.

You sip slow, eyes glued to the ground. You feel so fucking stupid. Can’t even walk down a street without creating some sort of scene. They’re never going to want to hang out with you again, are they? You can’t go out drinking, can’t walk around a festival for longer than a couple hours. You distracted Riley. What if something happened to Johnny while you were having your spell? She might not have alerted correctly because of you. She might have gotten confused and then he could have gotten hurt. He might have-

“Ye really should drink tha’ instead of glarin’ at it.” Johnny pulls you from your thoughts. He’s now sat with his legs crossed beside you. Riley’s head rests in his lap. She seems calm. Content now that the emergency is over and happily lying on a cool floor.

You hum, chugging the last bit of it quickly. “I’m sorry…”

“Don’t be.” Simon says curtly. “Does this ‘appen often?”

You shrug. “Not as much anymore… usually my medication keeps me stable.”

“Do ye need a doctor?” Johnny tilts his head slightly. There’s no judgment in his tone - in either of their tones. Just calm concern. It probably shouldn’t make you want to cry as much as it does.

You shake your head. “I’ve got liquid IV at home. Just need to sleep it off.”

Hopefully. In reality, a pain flare up is inevitable now. You just won’t know how bad until you’re fully in it.

“Let’s get ye home.” Johnny says, knees popping as he stands.

“I-I’m fine!” You insist, mentally preparing to get yourself up off the floor. “I can get home on my own - I don’t want to ruin your time.”

Johnny levels his gaze onto you, so serious it almost looks angry. It doesn’t match his face. “We’re not leavin’ ye tae get home alone like this.”

You’re caught off guard when an arm slides under your back and another under knees - lifting you like you weigh half of what you do in reality. Like you’re a paperweight instead of a boulder. You blink up at Simon, far too surprised to be embarrassed. At least at first. You splutter out a poor attempt at convincing him to put you down. Excuse and reason after reason and excuse. They roll off him like water off a ducks back. Your face burns as he steps out of the post office with you neatly tucked against his chest - Johnny and Riley in tow.

If you allow yourself to be honest, to give into that weaker part of you (or, at least, the part you consider to be weak) you could possibly admit that this feels nice. Being cared for feels nice. Having your body up against someone else feels nice. It’s been a long time since anyone touched you outside of a polite handshake or accidental bump. You sink into it despite yourself - relaxing against Simon’s chest. They were right, you wouldn’t have made it back. Your head is too fuzzy and there’s that telltale pain in your shoulders radiating up to your neck that signifies an oncoming Bed Day.

It doesn’t take long with Simon’s lengthy strides to get back to your building. You probably wouldn’t have been able to keep up to that running. Well, you can’t really run much at all so you definitely wouldn’t. A stupid, muddled train of thought that melts into the hazy bog of your current mental state. Even Johnny trails a few feet behind. Neither of them speak, marching in determined silence. You attempt to subtly check their faces for any anger. You’d understand if they were angry. Most people would get angry. You interrupted their day out with your useless drama. All you get is a wide, bright grin from Johnny when your eyes eventually meet his.

Simon puts you down with all the care in the world. As if you’re made of fine china. His hand stays on your upper back - planted firmly between your shoulder blades and ready to catch you if need be. Your vision swims a bit, your joints feel like jelly but you manage to dig your keys out of your pocket and unlock the door.

“Here.” Johnny plops the puff ball back into your hands just as you turn to say goodbye. To say thank you - to apologize profusely.

Your brows raise. You completely forgot about it while swimming around in a sea of embarrassment - he must have picked it up for you. You hug it to your chest with a quiet, “Thanks.”

You shift your weight side to side, psyching yourself up for the crawl up the stairs. Probably literally. You don’t think you could stay upright if you tried to walk them like a regular day, or even with an aid. Like a regular or semi-regular person. Fuck.

Johnny follows your eyes up at the staircase. He must sense some hesitation in you. “Do ye need help up?”

You bite your lip, staring at the ground. Standing in one place seems alright, but the thought of climbing is so daunting, even with the cane you have stationed at the bottom of the steps for that exact purpose. It’s embarrassing. You’re young, you should be able to walk up some damn stairs. It isn’t even that many. It’s barely a full flight. Just one story of stairs for fuck’s sake.

“Hey.” Simon touches your cheek, the action snapping your eyes to his in surprise. “It’s okay. C’mere.”

He picks you up again in the same fashion with barely a grunt, taking his time up the steps so as not to jostle you. How many times has he done this with Johnny? you wonder. That’s the only explanation for how good he is at keeping your equilibrium so even. You wonder if he practiced - if he took caretaking classes. He probably did. Does he keep up at the gym just so he can take care of his husband? Simon might be quiet and a little formal, but he exudes dedication.

“Sorry it’s messy…” You murmur when they reach the top of the steps. Glancing behind you, you see Riley sitting patiently at the bottom. Johnny must have told her to stay. “Haven’t gotten to fully unpack…”

You’ve been spending too much time in bed on the weekends. Fucking lazy.

Johnny just laughs. “Ye shoulda seen the first place Simon an’ I had.”

“Wasn’t that bad.” Simon argues, carefully setting you down on the couch. His hands hold your waist to steady you. They’re so warm… It feels wrong to be disappointed when he lets go.

“We hadnae figured out a system yet.” Johnny huffs, hands on his hips. “We ended up hirin’ a specialized maid service the dishes got so backed up.”

You scoff, laying back against the couch with that stupid carnival prize still in your arms. Like it’s the only thing grounding you to reality. The tears that have been stinging your eyes this entire time continue to threaten to spill - a myriad of blinks and careful breaths the only thing keeping them back.

Johnny sits beside you slowly. You can’t meet his eyes. “Do… do ye want tae tell us what it is? Ye donnae have tae - it’s up tae ye. Just if somethin’ happens again…”

“We’d like to be prepared.” Simon jumps in where Johnny trails off.

You chew your lip, still staring up at the ceiling. It splits and that coppery taste coats your tongue for a moment. “I, uh, it’s called POTS. There’s different types but basically my body can’t regulate blood flow and pressure right…” You shrug. “Like I said my medication usually keeps me mostly okay.”

It’s the pain that really gets to you usually, but you don’t need to start dumping on them about that. There’s no reason to spill your guts about things they can’t fix.

“Thanks fer tellin’ us.” Johnny smiles. You stiffen slightly when he reaches out to tuck some hair behind your ear. You tilt your head, still resting on the back of the couch, to meet his eye. “Get some rest, yeah? We’ll lock the knob behind us. Call if ye need anythin’.”

“Okay.” You nod, keeping your eyes down and picking at your nails. “Sorry… about all this… I didn’t - I don’t… I’m sorry.”

“Donnae apologize.” He says softly as he stands. “Never apologize. We’re your friends, aye? Friends help friends. Tha’s all there is to it.”

Simon gives you a discerning nod behind him, expression both soft and deeply serious.

Friends? They consider you real life proper friends? Really? You can’t help but beam up at him. “Yeah.”

A/N: I’ve re-read this chapter so many times that it’s total mush in my brain which tells me it’s time to be done with it.

Bonus: I made a Pinterest board for this fic

[fayes-fics]

Textual Encounter

Pairing: Benedict Bridgerton x fem!reader, modern AU

Summary: Text fic. Wrong number meet-cute over text.

Warnings: none... this is fluff and humour.

Word Count: 1.4k

Summary: Fic request fill for Anon (HERE). I kept it fun and fluffy, but yeah, I can see a sequel where they sext. Thanks to @colettebronte for the read-through. Enjoy! <3

Y/N: Hey Liz, it’s y/n y/l/n. Kindle Spa gave me your mobile. Said you had moved to another salon. I don’t trust anyone else to wax me tbh. Big date this week, kwim 😉 Can I get an appt? I’ll come to you. Doesn’t matter where. 

BB: Errr, I think you have the wrong number…

Y/N: Not Liz?

BB: Nope, Ben here. 

Y/N: Not a waxer, I presume?

BB: I may have waxed lyrical in my time, may even have lit a few candles. Have not waxed anyone no - my own body or anyone else’s. Yet. But I’m game to try anything once...

Y/N: Lol.

BB: Big date, eh?

Y/N: ….Yeah. Not that it's any of your business, stranger Ben.

BB: Fair. BB: Does it hurt?

Y/N: ??

BB: Getting waxed.

Y/N: Oh. Yeah. Like a motherfucker. But you sorta get used to it, tbh. And it’s so much less itchy than shaving regrowth, especially in sensitive areas… Wait, why am I having this convo with a complete stranger?!

BB: We don’t have to be strangers. BB: I’m Ben, 33, London. BB: I have no strong opinions on hair removal methods.

Y/N: lol. K. I’m y/n, 28, also London. Y/N: I, as you can see, do have some opinions.

BB: Hi y/n 👋 BB: I hope you can find Liz. Or someone else to assist with your hair needs.

Y/N: I would like it stated, for the record, I’m not hairy like a troll. I just like to keep things neat.

BB: The lady doth protest too much…

Y/N: You are cheeky for a stranger.

BB: Hey, I thought we agreed. Not strangers. Me Ben. You hairy troll.

Y/N: BLOCK.

BB: Just typing it doesn't work, you know.

Y/N: You should work at the Apple Genius Bar.

BB: Hmm, possibly. I do look good in blue. Or so I've been told.

Y/N: Always glad to provide career counselling.

BB: 🫡

4 days later.

BB: How’d your date go?

Y/N: That's odd. I don’t see a Genius Bar appt in my calendar…?

BB: iCal is a lying bastard. BB: I also assume you now can move faster through water.

Y/N: ??

BB: Waxed smooth like a dolphin…?

Y/N: 😆 Y/N: Entirely none of your business, but yes, actually. Well mostly. I leave some. Why am I telling you this?! Y/N: The guy was such a dud tho, I didn't get to show it off 🙁

BB: Please don't stop on my account. This is just delightful.  BB: I apologise on behalf of all men.

Y/N: For what?

BB: Having 4 sisters, I find the safest answer here is usually… everything, of course.  BB: But specifically, your rubbish date.

Y/N: Apology conditionally accepted. Y/N: 4 sisters?! 

BB: Only conditional? What do I gots to do to make it unconditional? BB: Yeah, I know… I’ve got 3 brothers too. My parents were really into each other. 

Y/N: IDK, serve a mean martini? Y/N: Understatement.

BB: That could be arranged. I took an online mixology course during lockdown.  BB: My sister El declared I'm better than Stanley Tucci. Admittedly, that was after 4 espresso martinis… but I'm taking it. She's opinionated but the best one. They are a weird bunch tho 🤔

Y/N: WOAH WOAH WOAH. That's a bold claim.

BB: Well, there’s only one way to dispute it: try one for yourself…

Y/N: Smooth, Genius Bar, smooth.

BB: I do my best 🤷

1 day later.

Y/N: I can't get my AirPods to work.

BB: You do realise I didn’t actually follow your career advice?

Y/N: Urgh. Inconvenient. What use are you then?

BB: As I said. Cocktails. I’ll try my hand at waxing if you want.

Y/N: Best stick to the day job. Which is…?

BB: Graphic design.

Y/N: Oh, that’s quite cool. 

BB: It pays the bills. You?

Y/N: MI-5

BB: Wow, you're a shit spy.

Y/N: It could be an excellent double bluff…

BB:

Y/N: Oh, we’ve graduated to memes now, have we, Genius Bar?

BB: It was called for.

Y/N: I’ll take it. Purely cos it's a Hemsworth.

BB: I would too, tbh.

Y/N: Bi?

BB: For a Hemsworth? Always.

Y/N: Anyone else?

BB: I’ll keep you posted.

Y/N: I'm on the edge of my seat.

3 days later.

BB: Oscar Issac.

Y/N: Good non sequitur evening to you, too, Genius Bar Ben.

BB: For the bi thing.

Y/N: Ahh. Got it. I can respect that.

BB: This is me, btw: www.instagram.com/benbridgerdesign.  BB: Figured you can decide for yourself if I'm a creeper.

Y/N: Appreciated.

3 minutes later.

Y/N: You paint?

BB: I dabble

Y/N: Modesty will only make me like you more.

BB: You like me?! 🥹

Y/N: You didn't mention you were handsome.

BB: There is no way to respond to that without me sounding like a twat.

BB: But thank you 😊

Y/N: This is me: www.instagram.com/ynhandle 

7 minutes later.

BB: Oh, Amalfi is so beautiful, isn't it?

Y/N: Wow. That's a deep cut. How far did you scroll back??

BB: 👀

Y/N: Yeah, it's beautiful. Shame it's tainted for me now. Was there with an ex.

BB: I saw. Very handsome.

Y/N: Are you sure you're not just into men full-stop?

BB: 🤷 BB: You’re very pretty, too.

Y/N: I’d believe it if you didn't mention my “very handsome” ex first…

BB: I call it like I see it. BB: I have had 4 whiskeys, tho, so make of that what you will.

Y/N: On a school night?!

BB: It’s my brother Ant's birthday. This is like non-optional drunk, I’ll have you know.

Y/N: Happy birthday to him. 

BB: He says thanks. He’s also told me to get off my fucking phone. Which is rich. He is texting his wife nonstop.

Y/N: Hah! Safe travels through Whiskeytown, BenBridger 🫡

BB: I kinda miss Genius Bar…. 😞

Y/N: I can't win…

2 days later.

BB: Settle an argument for me.

Y/N: 🍿

BB: Col, younger brother, never stops eating... He claims Katz Deli is overrated. I argue it's touristy but still good. You’ve been. Where do you sit on this matter?

Y/N: You really did go thru my Insta, didn't you?? Y/N: Thanks for the follow, BTW.

BB: It's a compliment, I assure you. BB: Welcome. And same.

Y/N: Not complaining. And yeah, I agree with you, actually.

BB: Hah! Excellent!!

Y/N: Wait… your older brother is Ant, and your younger brother is Col? You’re Ben. So, like ABC?

BB:  … I already warned you my family was weird.

Y/N: You did. You did.

BB: Now, please excuse me while I go gloat.

Y/N: 👍

5 mins later.

BB: Hi. This is Col. You must be the famous y/n. Ben’s in the bogs, and the mug left his phone on the table unlocked, so this is on him.  BB: He like really likes you. Like a lot. Will you go on a date with him pls? 

Y/N: Err, ok, hi Col. Y/N: Umm, I think Ben should be the one to ask me that. Don’t you?

BB: He’s too scared you’ll say no.

Y/N: I won't…

BB: EXCELLENT.

2 minutes later.

BB: I am so SO sorry about that 😬 He’s such a shit. BB: But… do you mean it?

Y/N: Ask me properly…

BB: Would you, y/n, like to go on a date with me? Please?

Y/N: I would be delighted to Ben. 😀

BB: 🙏 BB: Are you free on Thursday? Could I take you to dinner?

Y/N: Sounds wonderful. 

BB: 7pm? Meet at Picadilly Circus? By Brasserie Zedel?

Y/N: I’ll be there 😀

BB: 😀

10 days later.

BB: I think you should know… Liz is an artiste 😮‍💨

Y/N: Stop texting me from my bed, you dork. 😘 Y/N: How do you take your coffee?

BB: I'm like 10 meters away. Why not just ask me?

Y/N: You started this, Genius Bar…

BB: Come back to bed, Mostly Hairless Troll.

Y/N: I asked for that, didn't I? 🤦

Benedict taglist, pt 1: @makaylan @longingintheuniverse @iboopedyournose @aintnuthinbutahounddog @severewobblerlightdragon @writergirl-2001 @heeyyyou @enichole445 @enchantedbytomandhenry @ambitionspassionscoffee @chaoticcalzoneranchsports @nikaprincessofkattegat @baebee35 @crowleysqueenofhell @fiction-is-life @lilacbeesworld @broooookiecrisp @queen-of-the-misfit-toys @eleanor-bradstreet @divaanya @musicismyoxygen84 @miindfucked @sorryallonsy @cayt0123 @hottytoddyhistory @fictionalmenloversblog @zinzysstuff @malpalgalz @kinokomoonshine @causeimissu @delehosies @m-rae23 @last-sheep @panhoeofmanyfandoms @kmc1989 @desert-fern @corpseoftrees-queen @magical-spit @bunnyweasley23 @how-many-stars-in-the-sky @sya-skies

[viccharine]

do you guys ever listen to a band so much that you end up making fake merch for it?

(reblogs greatly appreciated!!!!)

close ups and commentary under the cut!

about the poster itself: do you guys know how hard it is to make art for a band that hasn’t been active in 13 years? the answer is HARD (yes, i probably could done research and looked for old interviews for inspiration but who has time for that)

—> the icons related to “take a vacation!” are inspired by lyrics from the song “take a vacation!” (haha, did you see what I did there?) specifically, the lines “we’ll leave the waves at the ocean” and “we’ll leave the sand in a suitcase”

—> the Jon Walker and Ryan Ross icons are taken directly from the album cover (it took ten years off my life trying to figure out how to get them on here w/ the color palette—graphic design may be my passion but I never said i was GOOD at it)

—> the heart imagery comes from the fact that the band’s called “the young VEINS”—although it annoys me IMMENSELY that i technically drew more arteries than veins in the icons (my anatomy teacher would be so disappointed, but alas, anatomical accuracy had to be sacrificed to make it. yknow. look nice)

—> i did hand-lettering for all the text except for everything that’s in Helvetica (i did THAT in canva). the art program i use has a basically unusable text tool so I was forced to draw all of it, so I choose to believe that the reason why it doesn’t look. the best. is because of the caffeine shakes

some extra commentary: am I the only one who’s genuinely REALLY bad at listening to music? i don’t really get into bands as much as i just find songs that sound nice—to illustrate the extent of this issue: i did NOT know that Brendon Urie was a part of Panic! At the Disco. I’m not even kidding, I thought the artist who made Death of a Bachelor and the artist who made A Fever You Can’t Sweat Out were completely different and just. didn’t bother to check if I was right.

also, I’m not the type of person to be interested in band lore???? I rarely know the names of band members if even I’ve listened to the band for years (I really couldn’t care less in most situations)

case in point, i did not know who the FUCK Ryan Ross was!!! i knew he was in p!atd but that’s literally about it—before a couple of days ago if you asked to me pick out either Ryan Ross or Jon Walker from a line up I would not be able to get even CLOSE

anyway, my friend/manager is really into band lore, so I basically got a crash-course in all things “early to late 2000s emo band” and subsequently found out about the Young Veins (i was also extremely disappointed when I found out they only had one album and hadn’t been active in over a decade) THEN I realized that decade old, inactive bands don’t usually have merch, so I made my own! “merch” used lightly—i don’t think this is actually fit to sell lol

anyway that’s all k thanks byeee :D!! (and go stream the young veins!!)

[snowfolly]

✨Prepare for an unsolicited info dump✨

I was tagged by @vixstarria , thanks so much for the tag friend!

• Do you make your bed?: well, I kind of just roll up the quilt/sheets so that it covers the bed but it always looks like shit lol.

• Favorite number: 7

• What’s your job?: I have.. a few of them. I do contract graphic design work for a local publishing company, I’m an artist and design my own T shirts/stickers and also do commissions - I love my jobs :> (well aside from the publishing company that one sucks)

• If you could go back to school would you?: Hell no, I hated school 😂 no… I just had undiagnosed adhd and struggled to keep my shit together. I made decent grades bc I always seemed to find a way to finagle things and make it work (mostly), but yeah the only thing I liked about it was meeting my best fren in college.

• Can you parallel park?: Ain’t no way. I’m a good driver for the most part but I can’t parallel park or back up into spaces for love nor money.

• Do you think aliens are real?: I’m positive that in the vast expanse of space there are many other intelligent beings but I don’t think they’re coming to earth. I’ve seen UFO’s multiple times in my life (with other ppl they can back me up lol) but tbh I just think it’s secret human technology that we plebs could not possibly fathom.

• Can you drive a manual car?: NAH

• What’s your guilty pleasure?: Good god I should feel guilty about all my pleasures but I reckon it’d be chugging Coke Zero and (7 times out of 10) staying up waaay too late for any responsible adult to be staying up.

• Tattoos?: I have 3, snowflakes on my right ankle (bc I’m a special snowflake but no actually I just really love snow lol), a pair of small wings (that I drew/had tattooed on me when I was 19) on my left shoulder and a garbage heap that was supposed to be the start of a back piece with a spine/roots that was tattooed far too deep (it’s scarred all to hell), crooked and ruined me of ever wanting another tattoo again lol. Seriously… it’s awful. (But I do want to get some small fandom tattoos one day)

• Favorite color?: I’m an edgelord so my favorite color is black (I know it’s a shade not a color)… color wise I guess probably purplish colors

• Favorite types of music?: Neoclassic/classical Instumental is what makes my soul sing, but alternative folksy music and varying degrees of ‘rock’. Post mortem themes are a plus (edgelord)

• Do you like puzzles?: sometimes, when my brain cooperates!

• Any phobias?: oh god… yeah. Worms/centipedes/ maggots, claustrophobia, games with underwater elements (thanks Ecco the dolphin for that irrational lifelong fear), mouse/rat traps (it’s the snapping), things cutting my hands/feet, ripping off a nail, lots of bugs in one space, calling people on the phone

• Favorite childhood sport: LOL

• Do you talk to yourself?: I have adhd and work from home, so yes, nonstop. I also talk to myself when I’m shopping (I judge everything very hard ok, the items and prices — they need commentary)

• What movies do you adore?: I don’t watch a lot of movies (adhd) and I’m not super fond of any of them aside from the LOTR movies and like… slingblade (for the quotes)

• Coffee or tea?: I love coffee but it doesn’t love me (and low acid/caffeine coffee just doesn’t hit the same) but I also drink liquid death tea nonstop so I guess Tea wins lol.

• First thing you wanted to be when growing up?: A paleontologist lol… then just an artist.. damn I dreamed so big, so bold

No pressure tagging @ollysoxisfree @littol-rascal @shanaraharlyah @jellymellydraws and anyone who wants to do the thing!

[wilhelmina-murray-harker]

PLS TALK TO ME MORE AB 17776 PLAY QUEEN

SLAY OKAY SO

I don’t have it very fleshed out yet but it’s quite literally just 17776 as a play. Like I will be taking all the dialogue from the original with only minor changes (like changing the references to the way they’re typing to the way they’re speaking and other stuff that wouldn’t quite translate) but I have yet to get there

Each of the chapters is a scene, with the accompanying video being played during the scene change. All visuals and graphics are projected at the pertinent moment(s) during their scene, so they still provide that extra help with picturing what’s happening

It would probably be a fairly small cast, with obviously Nine, Ten, and JUICE being the leads, and then probably ten or so other actors making up the humans (and hubble that one time) they interact with and playing multiple roles. Most football scrimmages would also physically happen on stage, and the immense numbers of players would be hinted at for the most part. I will now include some of my bullet points of key moments:

When Nine wakes up, they’re on the USR platform while Ten (and later JUICE) are on the USL

Once Nine fully wakes up, they join them on USL

OH MY FUCKING GOD IT STARTS WITH SOMEONE READING A NEWS REPORT (probably over radio or tv) AND THEN IT GLITCHES OUT

Nancy running in the audience before she goes into the tornado????? If I don’t want her coming in house left I could have her hide in the sound booth until then and pop out house right

I’ve done some basic designing for it (set, costumes, etc) that maybe will eventually also include drawings but I’m not sure. I think it would be SO fun to suggest this as a show to direct at my school for next (next) season but that would also involve asking Jon Bois if it’s okay that I do this at all lol

[its-dean]

Hey just wanted to say that this while Odyssey thing looks Really REALLY cool!!! Forgive me if it's already stated elsewhere, but how do you plan on releasing it when its done?? Like is it gonna be an emulator thing or more of a standalone type of thing?? Also I Love the character designs you've been putting out, and I think I followed you a while back just for those lol. Anyway keep up the good work and consider me excited!!

Thank you for reaching out, you’re very kind! In terms of the things I’ve been posting, everything that I make is simply for fun. I just enjoy getting to share all the things I come up with, and it motivates me to make what I share feel that much more interesting.

I don’t have any experience with game design, and I don’t have plans to develop anything I come up with to be part of an actual fan-game. I like creating vivosaurs, giving them stats, and imagining what tweaks I’d make to how a Fossil Battle works, but I feel like I’d be in over my head if I were to try and program any of those things. It simple doesn’t interest me enough, and I’m nowhere near experienced enough 😅

However, very big big however, my biggest passion with Fossil Fighters is its story and its world, and that’s what I want to work on with what I create. I study filmmaking in school and want to go into some kind of career as a creative writer, and my biggest personal project is Fossil Fighters Ofyssey, my own idea of where the story of the first 2 games would go from where they left off, 9 whole years later. Since I finished developing my cast of original characters and vivosaurs, I’ve been trying to shift gears to thinking of the story I want to tell using them. I’ve worked out outlines and currently am working on writing finalized scripts (some of them I’ll probably post here), the dream would be to someday illustrate my story in a manga/graphic novel format, but again I don’t wanna go further into video game territory.

I apologize for the really long-winded response, this is just my biggest personal passion and I’m really appreciative that there are people who enjoy seeing what I share enough to ask me these kinds of questions. Thanks for hearing me out on all of this, I wish you the best as well! 🙏

[thekingofthenameless]

I'm updating DR!Merlin's design!

(And hopefully this will be the last time.)

I’m not going to delete the original post I made ages ago because it details the saga of how I got the idea to redesign him (and then eventually make him my own version), it has a writing blurb that I still like there, and I got of a couple of really nice compliments!

I made several collages to show how he looks more instead of just describing it, and I’ll explain the reasons behind picking the images in them!

General Looks:

I made his bust in Artbreeder!

After @rule-number-3 drew him with a widow’s peak, I wanted to incorporate that into his design.

Second up is his hairstyle! I’ve wanted him to have a ponytail for so dang long, even before I started coming with ideas for a redesign! I’d always wanted it to be mid-high usually, with it tied up into a bun when he’s in his armor; and either loosened or completely down for sleep. The picture got his hair length right too! When it’s fully down, it’s halfway down his back. It’s also very thick, and he’s 6'7", so that’s a lot of hair!

His hair and eyebrow color is definitely the easiest part of his redesign, because it’s just having them match now. It was a little harder to find the photo I wanted at first. I had to keep weeding out options 😂.

I’d finally gotten down to two choices for his new eye color. I had the option I have in the collage, and a more natural looking eye. I didn’t know which one to choose, so I asked @donkeyklone for his opinion; and after what I explained what it was for, he said to go for that option! He said it looks more magical, which fits his status as a wizard and cambion. :D

He’s very sleep deprived from insomnia, nightmares, etc., so I googled eyebags and chose the worst looking ones I could find lol.

His skin color was actually taken straight from his face! I just made a little square in IbisPaintX and colored it in!

One design element that I wanted to keep from Canon!Merlin was his hands. They’re wide with short fingernails and no visible veins, but that could just be the art style. The hand I found matched what I was looking for perfectly!

And last off for this collage, I decided that his body type would be realistically muscular, give all the fighting he’s done, but it took me a little bit to find the right amount of muscle I wanted. I didn’t want him to look like a bodybuilder, but I also didn’t want him to be too lean.

TW/CW for scars! Some are these are pretty graphic!

Scars:

Some of these are more to show the texture of the scars than location. I also haven’t figured out the whole backstory behind them yet, so these are more of summarizations.

The knife scar on his neck was from a murder attempt after his magic was discovered by people who hated magic.

The claw marks on his chest are from a beast attack; not sure what yet.

His burn marks are from when he was burned with holy fire. (Burns from holy water go away; burns from holy fire don’t.)

The knife scar on his arm is actually from his wrist to his elbow, and it was specifically torture.

The whip marks on his back are from another time he was tortured.

The claw marks on his back are from other beasts.

His stretch marks are from puberty! Since he’s half-demon, he probably grew really fast during that time, and I think that he’d probably have stretch marks from it. Also yes I’m projecting.

The knife scar on his left leg is from when he stabbed during a fight.

The bite scar on his right leg is from another beast.

Cambion form:

I’m so excited to talk about this because I haven’t really done that yet, but DR!Merlin is a cambion! :D Here’s some backstory about his birth. He also has a name for his other true form:“Blood Moon!Merlin.” @donkeyklone was the source for it, as he was thinking I could call it that since his whole “shtick is the moon” according to him 😂. I imagine someone described him as looking like a blood moon after seeing him, since cambions have a wide variety of colors.

For his horns, I went through several options, but the one in the collage was my favorite photo by far. I love how big they are!

His hair color is still the same despite all the changes between forms.

His facial markings are inspired by concept art that features him with some! I tried to get the swirl-like markings as close as possible at first, but then I just chose my favorite picture.

They even show up in his human form; mainly when he’s having visions or entering his avatar state™️. I don’t know what else to call it.

And pointy ears, also featured in the above photo, are always cool!

His eye color is to match with the rest of his form, and red is pretty default for a demon anyway. 😂 Slitted eyes are always awesome too!

For his fangs, I chose a photo that had both top and bottom fangs.

I chose the photo that best matched the idea of what I wanted for his claws.

For his wings, I just googled red wings png. It was one of the first results!

His skin color was picked from another photo of red eyes, and @donkeyklone sent me the tail!

Armor:

I love his armor so much, even if it has been through a few revamps.

I made his outer helmet, faceplate, and breastplate in Artbreeder!

I found his gauntlets after googling black gauntlets.

His cape pattern is the ocean because the moon controls the tides, and I wanted him to have more general night motifs besides just stars!

I think I’ve said this before, but his armor is BIG. It’s not formfitting like Jim’s and Morgana’s, and that idea was inspired by these concept arts. I was also able to find a photo that illustrated it more clearly on Artstation!

Unfortunately Jim isn’t as realistic proportions wise, but this is the size difference between their armor!

His cape color is picked from this photo of the ocean! Besides it matching the black of his armor, it also opposes Morgana’s sky blue cape. 😉

Weapons:

These are just a few of the weapons Merlin uses throughout the DR-verse!

I made his staff, sword, and shield in Artbreeder! I wanted to keep his staff mostly the same, except making it slightly more fantasy like, because DR!Merlin is more straight up magical fantasy than magi-tech.

His sword is covered in stars with a silver handle to match his night motifs better. Besides that, a master wizard having a normal sword is so silly to me.

I gave him a shield because they’re awesome, and yes, I want to see him smash the crap out of a villain while they’re trying to talk.

I chose a bow as another weapon for him because his staff does turn into a bow in some concept art!

Sometimes he wields an axe in more close combat situations, same with the dagger.

His shield’s shape is long and angular, and it goes down to his feet when he holds it in front him.

The sword whip is for more of a long range combat situation, and his magic allows to extend as far as he needs it to.

Camelot outfit:

In Emerald Embers, he doesn’t wear his armor 24/7, so here’s his Camelot outfit design!

His earrings are full moons because of his night motif, like his armor! Since the night means safety to many magical creatures, him always wearing some version of night themed accessories is a secret way of signaling he’s safe to approach. He also finds them pretty.

I found his cape clasps by just searching for cape clasp designs on Pinterest, and they’re perfect because they remind him of Charlie. (At the start of Emerald Embers, he’s been gone for over a thousand years.) I need to make a post about his redesign too. And why they separated.

His necklace is the one he made for his sister, Ganieda, as her wedding gift. It’s very, very special to him, as it’s one of the few things he has left of her.

I was trying to make his outfit historically accurate, and I found out that bliauts were popular back then!

His pants were ones that I’d chosen for a reference when I first came up with a possible design for his outfit! That was a long time ago, but it’s still on my tablet. It’s currently broken. 💀

Him having a cape was inspired by @tenyai’s storyboards of him having one! It’s one element of his outfit that I’ve always kept, even if I did change the rest.

For his belt, I just looked up medieval belts and chose my favorite.

His boots took a little while to choose. I wanted him to have heeled boots, shamelessly inspired by Dracula in Netflix’s adaptation of Castlevania, but finding one that I could choose was another story. But I eventually did!

His ring is actually his staff in disguise! He wears it on his right middle finger.

Last off, his bracelet is more of a pretty accessory that doesn’t really have special meaning to him.

And that’s all for now! Of course, he’s going to have more outfits eventually lol.

[m1ckeyb3rry]

AYO MODEL ERA MIRA?? CONGRATS!!! Hmu if you ever make one of those subscriptions like Chris Prince I’ll come to your meet and greet (don’t scam me) LMAO

the get possessed part actually has me sending the process is insane LOL im just imagining you getting into the zone like “mmm yes I love flirting with women I am that top dog im a super sexy defender yes that’s me”

IM CRYING THE SHOE THREAT??? Thats literally Barou just throwing the shit Nagi and chigiri left around the floor back in their faces it matches him sm….shoeliver is truly the best duo name ykw is funny when I first typed liver it autocorrected to lover (even though liver is a word….) LMAO truly meant to be

HAAH snuffy the only responsible adult so real no it’s ok mikages stubble grew into that full beard from stress and aging dw abt it yk when you get to the wedding arc you should design wedding invitation graphics (if you want LOL) I bet they’d go hard

STOPP I lowk forgot Nagi’s the love interest for a second uuhbdjsns no swerving no swerving…..but slightly sweaty rolled up sleeves Karasu….but REAL AEGISLASH TAKE ME TOO SHSHSH

Barou’s too underrated people are missing out on his potential omg (and I’m not even talking about in soccer LOL)

Wait speaking of how far are you from 1k rn I lowk forgot…just trying to see the odds of that pokemon event coming true if so I’m fr going to start brushing up

FR what’s worst is the people I see theorycrafting and analyzing saying Nagi’s gonna get kicked out and I’m like are we reading the same series here??? Like GUYS cmon let’s use our brains a little please I’m begging…..I’m crying “I forgot I liked chigiri” LAMOSAOSK yeah it does suck though because a big majority of his fans feminize him like crazy (esp when they ship him with Kunigami and turn him into a damsel in distress) yeah I think the move is just stay away from the crazy twitter side of the fandom LOL

IM GONE THE SPONGEBOB LFMAOAO stop the Barou edits go too hard wtf…but NO PLEASE KEEP THEM COMING LMAOO I appreciate all the content and lowk my fyp lost its way I don’t get much bllk there as I used to so I need this

DHSHSHS FR bro “can I say something controversial” and it’s just straight facts because people are fr just setting themselves up for disaster and like doomposting like guys cmon…..as if we didn’t all survive whatever the hell was going on in jjk s2 animation too (some scenes were so bare bones but we all lived)

SWOLE ERA Barou would be proud first it’s the graphic now this LMAOA out of curiosity what’s your go to routine?

- Karasu anon

YESS MODEL ERA INDEED dw if i do become famous i’ll be like yukimiya and expose scams not create them like chris prince 🤩 jkjk it’s really not for anything huge HAHA so no fame or scamming for me quite yet…tbh i only applied on a whim (i happened to have the photos they required for the application on hand [one of then was my linkedin pfp though icl] so i was like why not) ngl i was surprised when they emailed me back and told me they added me to their book but yk yolo!! might as well try it and see what the vibes are

HELPPP repeating my aiku affirmations while i work on the oaeu…“i am a rizz lord…i hate italian people…women want me fish fear me…i’m the goat” HAHA have to get in the mindset fr

shoeliver my magnum opus number one bllk ship name number one duo etc etc no one can compare!! PLEASEE barou is so mom coded it makes sense i can def see him threatening to throw his shoes at his kids nagi zantetsu chigiri when they’re being annoying/misbehaving HAHAHA

wait wedding invitation graphics would actually go crazy i don’t even think either wedding is ever shown in the epilogue (because of all of the time skipping) but maybe a side story of snuffy just dealing with everyone’s messes at either the tullireo or nagiy/n wedding might be in order sprinkled amongst the epilogue chapters 🤔 either that or i’ll make barou funeral invites but that’s more morbid…

AEGISLASH PLEASE ASSIST KARASU ANON AND I IN GOING ON A DOUBLE DATE W (still alive not possessed) BAROU AND KARASU POKÉMON AU VERSION 😭🙏🏻 nah because the visual is insane karasu’s face card is too lethal…reader’s crazy for not falling in love with him immediately ‼️ like girl you don’t even meet your actual man for an entire arc you’re telling me you don’t have the teensiest crush on karasu until nagi arrives in all of his lazy pajama wearing glory??? /j (mostly abt nagi wearing pajamas he’s a little better than that) nah but me personally the moment i see him taking care of his little baby birds i’m folding LMAOOO karasu with his fletchling would genuinely cause me to malfunction (wait imagine tullia gets him to babysit the pokémon she breeds when he has free time so his alternate clothing style is him in a white t shirt [so we can see his glorious biceps] jeans and a green apron with the black falconer’s gloves as usual and we just get a scene of him walking around bottle feeding a baby pokémon while talking on the phone about official gym business HFJSKSJD i fear i need him)

nah because barou is too underrated for what he brings to the table!! hoping we see a rise in barou nation after s2 as well although if not we’ll def see his non-dude bro fanbase (because lbr all dude bros love barou) expand after nel is animated he looks GORGEOUS in the game against bm!!

i’m like 60ish followers away but randomly the number will go down so i could not tell you how long it’ll take before i reach 1k 😭 i also might post the event a bit early just so people can be prepared for it HAHAHA we’ll see if i even do pokémon!! maybe i’ll end up with smth different who knows i’m very indecisive unfortunately so i probably won’t know until the last minute what i’m going to do

when people think nagi will leave the manga and be kicked out for good i’m like ah yes the character with his own spin-off is definitely the one they’re axing HAHAAH nagi + rin + barou are the only ones besides isagi that i can say for sure will be relevant until the end just because of the nature of their dynamics w isagi and the way their characters are written 😭 NAH BECAUSE I STAY FORGETTING CHIGIRI HIMSELF IS ACTUALLY COOL he can’t help his stans yassifying him/using him as an excuse to hate on other characters…wait also this is a pet peeve of mine but whenever people call chigiri a princess unironically i’m like 😟🤨 because i am 100% sure that the other blue lockers do NOT mean it as a compliment necessarily LMAOAOA like chigiri straight up gets mad when people who aren’t his friends/close teammates call him princess/missy (depending on the translation) i’m pretty sure it’s meant to be an embarrassing/teasing nickname not a nice one (karasu and otoya using it should be MORE than enough proof for that theory)…chigiri official arts have set the fandom back one million years they overly yassfiy him bro is simply NOT like that in the source material!!

THE SPONGEBOB HAD ME CRYINGGG lowkey what if i said me though 🤔 jkjk…unless??? OKAY YAYYY I WILL KEEP SENDING YOU SILLY LINKS AND EDITS HEHEHE today i will offer you a nagi + chigiri edit because it feels thematically appropriate to the convo LMAOO

no because people fr have such rose colored nostalgia tinted glass bruh jjk s2 was lowkey really bad at times too?? truly bllk is not as horrible as everyone is making it seem it honestly in terms of coloring and art style alone has a lot of depth and vibrancy and life i think people need to relax a bit like this isn’t violet evergarden things will not be perfect and that’s okay!! it’ll still be fun if you go into it just to enjoy it for what it is

LMAOO i’ve been going to the gym for a while but i never lift heavy enough to get swole i will leave that for my bfs 🤩 i start off on the treadmill for anywhere from 10-30 minutes depending on what i’m doing…if it’s an answering asks on the treadmill kind of day i’ll go at the 6 incline at a 2.5-3mph pace until i’m done clearing my inbox (usually 30ish mins plus or minus 5) and if it’s a day when i just want to be in and out i do a 15 incline at a 3mph pace for 10-15 mins!! after that i lift weights but nothing crazy/above 50lbs 😭 i’m not trying to be jacked so i’m not trying really hard to hit a PR as long as i feel like i worked out!! some of my fav exercises w weights are squats, romanian deadlifts, and the lateral pull-down machine!! after lifting i’ll do yoga to stretch out the muscles i used that day 😄 i go to the gym like twice a week and then horse riding once a week so i work out in a dedicated way only 3x per week and the rest of my steps come from walking around in general HAHA

[plushieanimal]

things i have been into/working on recently:

-Hollyleaf cosplay! I am cosplaying her to san japan this weekend. i will post pics of it (if i hopefully remember to get some)

-overwatch! i have played every day since overwatch 2 released in october, i am currently diamond but my peak was Masters 4 in season 4. I got there by one-tricking mercy in solo queue! i have almost 900 hours on her overall now.

-I have a group of overwatch friends i met a few months ago who want to be my friend even tho i one trick. and they fulfill a critical role in my life with social interaction that, say, my coworkers used to fill. I’ve been isolated for almost a year now and people coming over fatigues me after an hour but i can talk on headset with minimal masking for like 3-4 hours before the fatigue kicks in and my eyes get blurry. So Thanks to them and overwatch i am not as brutally isolated

-teamfight tactics! i love the auto chess battler game. I am garbage at it and only play one or two games a day but i’m trying to use it to build new neural pathways and improve my working memory and problem solving skills. i am gold 1 lol

-league of legends sorta. i one trick teemo but i only play norms no ranked for me (i am bad and don’t want to take two games super seriously)

-work! i work from home for my step mom doing various graphic design tasks, database work, and minimal customer service and accounting. She is the director for a point based reward program for people who ride horses. People ride their horses in shows and submit the results to us if they are a member and we process them and every year customized awards are handed out to people who’s horses accumulated a certain amount of points. I’m working as her intern right now! I actually enjoy it. it’s a weird old rich horse woman type of thing the amount of money they spend to get an award they could’ve just bought for less is crazy.

-that’s it ^_^ i’ve been collecting espeon figure and plush and snom stuff too but that’s about it!

[litchizzle]

12.29.22

HELLO I GOT A NEW MECHANICAL KEYBOARD

And I am typing on it bc it feels nice :) When I was trying to think of somewhere where I could type a lot of stream of conscious bullshit I thought of tumblr :) :)

I do sometimes wish I had kept up with posting on here more often so I could get a full account of my life up to now, but... there are too many places to do reflections these days and it takes a lot for me to keep up with them. Plus it’s not like my posts on tumblr ever were a good representation of my life - it was just a place to rant and word barf and write back in the day when writing perhaps meant more to me (and I was a dramatic little shit)

I did just read a post in my drafts from midway through 2021 and I seemed a little lost about what to do with my life/career and it scared me a little bc I resonated too much with that, and it’s been 1.5 years and like I haven’t figured my shit out????

But I KNOW I KNOW I have actually come a long way. This year I think I figured out a path career-wise and have started carving my way forward - slowly but surely. I also picked up some hobbies again since then. Crazy to think that it happened this year because now it feels like I (should) have always been doing this. But I started painting and making art again, and just doing more creative hobbies in general. I think I always scattered a few creative activities here and there (maybe more graphic design related things in 2020/2021 though), but I had neglected the more tactile drawing/painting that always brought me a lot of joy. So I’m glad I pushed myself to start taking art classes this year, which definitely helped me restart the hobby again.

I also rebooted a lot of health/mental health related habits again - exercising regularly, meditating, reading. I’m getting better at being disciplined at those things. It’s almost weird to think of times when these things weren’t built into my habits. So yay progress!

AND this year did start to feel like the pandemic was lifted off our shoulders a bit more for me. I went out a lot more (especially in the summer) - met new people, tried to looked for new activities to do and ways to explore the city. I have lived in Boston for two years now and this year I really felt like I was getting to know it better finally - which felt really really nice !!! And it feels a lot more like home. We also moved to a new apartment. It feels a lot homier and happier than our old place. Perhaps I was starting to feel a little stale being in that old apartment all the time though, considering that was like my “pandemic apartment” and I was there literally all the time...

I did not intend for this post to turn into a yearly reflection thing, but TIS that season after all. 2022 started out pretty rough (it was a bad winter) but I think I grew a lot from that dark time LOL. There were a lot of negative thoughts that pushed me forward to do more things and try more things. I would say that I tried to embody “growth” as much as I could this year - with baby steps because you have to start somewhere. And a baby step is better than no step. 

I am looking forward to 2023, not just because 23 is a special number to me (lmao) but also that I feel surprisingly in a good place right now and ready to take a bigger step. And I trust that I have the tools and the strength to go forward!!! I think this past year (or even two) has been a lot about resetting and gaining those tools again, after a weirdly destructive 2020. (Well I don’t think 2020 destroyed me that much but it put me in a weird place in terms of life and goals) (I felt really lost about my focus and values, in a way where I wasn’t really thinking about those things - I was more carefree perhaps) But I somehow feel more confident now about where I am and where I want to go - even if it’s not super clear, I know what I want to TRY at least. I know I want to keep doing things that make me happy and pushing myself to grow.

I will detail more specific goals later of course, but a general theme I have been thinking about is “intentionality”. I often feel like I am water, I go with the flow more than I should. This used to be a personality trait I held proudly, but I know now that it’s not always a good thing. If you flow too swiftly sometimes things pass you by. And sometimes you get no shit done LOL. I feel like I often go with the flow so often that when I think about where I am in life, I wonder how much of it was because of my own doing. It’s that whole “do I have free will” debate, but amplified in my brain because I’m SUCH a passive person. So much of my life has just been saying “yes” to the right thing at the right time - which I don’t discount, I think it’s great where it’s taken me - but it makes me feel..... like I don’t have control and take charge enough. Even for small things. 

Which is not even true, bc I do take charge of small things ok - I wouldn’t be surviving here if I didn’t. But I’m just a VERY externally motivated person, a lot of my decisions are influenced by others (or done for others) OR my actions are triggered because of something someone else did. Which is fine, individuality is a myth and we’re just combinations of the people and things around us BUT

I want to at least be more conscious about the above, and how they relate to my decisions and actions. I want to actually act on the ideas I have of “oh I would like to do this” instead of waiting to see what other people want to do. AND I want to be intentional about the things I do, truly think about whether I want to do something or if I’m just “going with the flow”. I want to be more proactive, less reactive. I want to initiate plans more (I think I’ve been getting better at doing this) When I make plans for myself, I want to be more willing to follow through with them. 

That is the gist of it. I think it correlates to just being more aware of your own actions and surroundings. (Which is something meditation taught me!) I don’t want to be living in a vacuum/matrix/haze or whatever you call it. In general I have been moving away from this but next year I want to put more effort into this mindset. Bias for action as they call it :^)

Anyways this has been a lot. Happy Holidays

[theharrowing]

I just noticed the "coming soon" section on your blog's computer theme! I like it a lot! Your theme overall is soooo pretty 🤭 Did it take long to decide on a theme? - Eggnog 🥚🥛

Eggnog 🥚 🥛✨! happy Thursday! i think…😰i’m 90% sure it’s Thursday. 🤪 it’s been a weird week.

hehe i forget i changed that coming soon section. this semester got overwhelming.

the theme didn’t take a long time, i actually saw someone else who had it and i was like “yank!” haha. i like the theme but i have been (lazily) on the lookout for a new one because i don’t like how gifs look on this one lol. i think the issue is that they don’t stretch and sometimes the credit link is to the side of the gif instead of below it. (little things like that bother me haha. i used to do graphic design and a little minor web dev type stuff.) and i haven’t been able to figure out which code to edit to change it. 😩🤪 i think it’s hidden away in a style sheet that i don’t have access to.

but thank you! i was very excited about it when i found it and it was fun playing with the colors.

[lesbian-octoling]

Some people expressed interest; so I decided hey, screw it. Splatoon adopts! They’ll all be $30 base, but I’m also offering a few different discounts!

Availability, rules, and other information below the cut!

What is an adopt?

An adopt is a pre-designed character that I create, and you can ‘buy’ to be able be able to use and claim as your own character. Of course, since these are splatoon based I’m not selling the concepts of splatoon, just the idea and design of the character itself.

INFO + RULES:

Once you buy the adopts, they’re yours. You’re welcome to redesign, alter, give away and/or trade as you see fit. The only thing I don’t allow is reselling for a higher price (same or below is fine).

Though these are meant to be splatoon adopts, you’re welcome to use them for any setting that you please! They’re not inherently limited to splatoon; especially the more unique characters.

The placeholder names, personality, and info are just.. placeholder/concepts! You can name them whatever you want, give them any pronouns, personality, lore, whatever! I won’t feel bad lol

Once I receive payment, I’ll send you a full size, transparent, unwatermarked image of your adopt!

I can hold them for up to a week!

If one is on hold, you can still message and ask to be next in line if whatever they’re being held for doesn’t work out.

AVAILABILITY + PRICING:

Base price for each adopt is currently $30 USD, however, you can check out some discounts at the bottom!

“GRAPHIC” - SOLD A rather unsocial inkling who’s passion is graphic design. Unironically. Probably does graffiti and hacks into soda machines in their spare time.

“NIGIRI” - SOLD An unusual salmonid chum who’s become a an unlikely fan of a very popular Inkling idol duo, and inkopolis itself.

“STRAWBERRY” - OPEN A strawberry crab who prefers to spend more of their time out in their garden as opposed to interacting with others.

“GHOST” - ON HOLD A horned ghost crab with an eye for fashion, and doesn’t put up with anyone’s backtalk.

“BRISKET” - SOLD A large maws who seems to have abandoned their school, instead choosing to set off on their own... with a special package in tow.

“LADLE” - SOLD A rather nervous looking snatcher who seems to be... rather oddly dressed, for this line of work. Wait, where are they taking that egg..?

“DORIS” - ON HOLD A small Hypselodoris bollandi nudibranch with a steady hand and a fondness for making tiny porcelain figurines.. though they might get better business if they didn’t scowl so much.

“BANDI” - SOLD An excitable blood red fire shrimp with a passion for ‘underground’ and unusual bands that most people can’t even stand to listen to. They don’t talk much, but when you get them going, they don’t stop!

DISCOUNTS + DEALS

Yeah, we know this is what you’re here for!  I’m going to offer several discounts and deals, which are subject to change, and may or may not pop in and out! This is my first time trying some of this.

COMMISSION BUNDLE If you buy a character from me, you can also get a get a commission of that character for 25% off to come with it! This only applies once, and has to be worked out around the time of purchasing the character. You choose the type of commission you’d like! Commission info is here.

PASSION DISCOUNT If you do a piece of fanwork for one of these characters- come up with extensive lore, a piece of art, a piece of writing, etc- and I can tell you actually put some effort and passion into it, then you can get them for 30% off... making them $20! It doesn’t have to be anything fancy and I’m not going to judge you by how ‘good’ your work is- again, it’s only judged by passion for the character. If I can tell you genuinely enjoyed it and had fun and will love the character you get (instead of having them simply sit on a dusty shelf or resold, etc), you get the discount! If you’re worried about the work taking a while but you want to wait until it’s done to buy them, no worries! I can hold a character for up to a week for you.

BONUS LORE If you wanna shell out an extra $5, I can fully flesh out the placeholder lore for you and come up with something much more fleshed out! Names, backstory, personality, all the bells and whistles. I can also work with you to fit it into any preexisting lore or characters you might want them to be worked with! Once again, you’re welcome to change any of this- but I’ll work with ya on it to make sure it’s something you like!

TRADES I’m a bit iffy on art trades or character trades, but I’m not going to say they’re out of the question. You’re welcome to ask!

[whatifyoulivelikethat]

calculated, m | jjk

pairing(s): jungkook x reader

summary: Some people would call you far too serious. Some would call you stuck-up. And some would call you a bitch. But to freshman Jeon Jungkook, you’re the head Calculus I TA noona  – and he’s determined to fuck you.

warnings: rated M (18+) for language; intense smut (fem reader, semi-public sex, pussy spanking, fingering, m-receiving oral, doggy, dirty talk); non-idol!AU - university!AU; dom!Jungkook x sub!noona!reader, ft instigator Jimin lol

--

part i | part ii | part iii | part iv

-

"I think Jungkook likes you."

The lead of your mechanical pencil snapped suddenly. Stupid soft graphite. You glared at it, annoyed, and brushed the broken piece away to complete the equation. 

"Who?"

"I think he's taking the afternoon class."

You double-checked the last question and handed him his homework back. "Jimin, you used the wrong equation, here and here."

Park Jimin frowned, face falling when he saw all your corrections. Being one of your parents' friends' kids, your parents and his parents naturally asked you to help him out when he entered the same university as you. You pretty much figured the likelihood of Jimin speaking to you was zero, since he was a dance major and you were a graphics design major. You shrugged and agreed.

Except you forgot you were also the head Calculus I TA and Calculus I was a required course for all students. And, turns out, Jimin wasn't that great at math. That's why you were sitting on cushions at your coffee table in your apartment with Park Jimin, watching a music program as you checked his homework.

"Oh."

Jimin began to look over your arrows and circles. You never actually gave him the answer. He usually ended up forgetting a step in the middle and thus fucked the answer. Usually he caught on easily once you pointed it out. 

You stared at the television screen, listening to the latest hit. Not bad. Catchy. 

"I think I should tell you because he's kind of reckless," Jimin was saying.

You placed a hand under your head and took a sip of your tea, distracted by the cute MC with the blue hair. He had a cute smile. It reminded you of a bunny.

"Who?"

"Jeon Jungkook," Jimin snapped impatiently.

You raised an eyebrow and faced Jimin. "Oi. I'm correcting your homework here. I could just correct it tomorrow and hand it back to you with red marks instead," you threatened.

He pouted at you, his full lower lip sticking out. "Sorry, noona."

You sighed. "Don't call me that. Makes me feel ancient." You turned your body so you faced him as he scowled at his homework. "Okay, okay, I'm listening now. What did you want to say?"

Jimin put his pencil down immediately and began to chat like an excited gossiping auntie. Round brown eyes getting rounder, glad for a break from his math homework. You didn't want to get him started, but he was going to nag you incessantly until you let him talk.

"I think he sits in the back?" Jimin pondered. "Dark longish hair, wears a lot of black. Looks scary when he's thinking because his eyes go really wide and he furrows his brows."

You twisted your mouth to the side and thought. You only attended the class when they had quizzes or exams because during lectures the professor didn't need your help. Mostly you remembered people by their personal scores or their handwriting, because you graded everything as the head TA. Looking at people's faces wasn't really necessary, unless you were looking for cheating. 

"Can't recall. I remember his handwriting though. Not bad," you said, shrugging. "I think he's pretty highly ranked at the moment."

"I think he likes you."

You scoffed. "How did you come to that consensus?"

Jimin tapped his temple sagely. "Intuition."

"If only you used that intuition on Calculus."

He frowned at you, pouting again. You let out a puff of air, conceding.

"What do you want me to do about it?"

Jimin scratched the back of his head. "Well, er... I'm just warning you."

"... Is he a serial killer or something?"

"No, no, no!" Jimin waved his hands on the air hurriedly. "He's really nice. But he can be kind of, uh... forward."

"How old is he?" you asked, glancing at the television for a moment as you took another long sip of your tea.

"Two years younger than me."

You choked. 

"What?" you squeaked between coughs. Jimin hurried over and patted your back as you struggled, becoming pink in the face. "The fuck? Tell him to find someone his own age."

"I did!" Jimin whined. "But he's stubborn."

You rolled your eyes. "You're warning me that I have to break a poor freshman's heart?"

"Kind of."

You rubbed your throat. "Hmph. Darn whippersnappers these days."

Jimin smacked your arm, laughing. "I thought you weren't ancient?"

"I am now knowing some kid is fantasizing about their fucking Calculus TA."

You had said your comment sarcastically. You fully expected Jimin to make some joke, but he froze up a little. You looked over to him. He looked somewhat guilty, like a lost puppy who got caught stealing food. You sighed and patted his back.

"Don't worry, I won't chew your friend's heart out. Finish your homework, so I don't drop you off too late. You have practice in the morning, yeah?"

"Y-yeah, thanks."

-

Forward, huh?

An understatement. 

You were sitting in one of the math department offices, laptop open, your drawing tablet in your lap, thinking. The conversation with Jimin happened about two days ago. In that time, you hadn't attended either morning or afternoon class yet, since it was only lectures. Not that it mattered, because lecture halls were massive. If this Jungkook kid sat in the back, then you probably wouldn't be able to see him anyway. At the moment, however, you were preoccupied with your assignment, to design a logo. Logo designing was difficult, especially since a school assignment didn't exactly have a real client attached to it to ask questions. 

Technically these were Calculus I office hours, but who attended office hours? Nobody.

Who attended any type of calculus office hours?

Yeah, exactly. 

You spent the time doing homework with the door open. You were the only TA that actually showed up for the office hours. Every other TA said it was a waste of time. It was. You still came through; in the off chance some poor kid decided her grade mattered. You felt bad since the actual professor wasn't very patient when people needed extra help. Also, technically you were the head TA, so you did have a bit more responsibility than the others.

Your black boots were perched on the desk as you sat back in your office chair, sketching a few ideas. If a member of the math department saw you, you would probably get in trouble. Thankfully, the math department was usually deserted. Math wasn't exactly the most social subject. 

You took a sip of your tea from your thermos, tapping your tablet pen on your black jean-covered thigh. 

"You look even better close-up, noona."

A clear, silvery, male voice cut through the silence. The voice came from the doorframe right in front of the desk. You frowned, slowly lifting your head from your tablet. How had you not heard him? Were you really that focused on your assignment?

Chucky black sneakers. Black cargo pants, slim fit. Distressed black sweater, hands casually in his pockets. Broad shoulders. Lightly tanned skin. Sharp jawline. A tiny mole under a mischievous smile. Your eyes narrowed as you made eye contact with those sparkling dark brown orbs. Long hair slicked back, with only a few wispy strands on his forehead. 

"Calculus I question?" was your response. 

His smile quirked a little higher. The young man didn't have a backpack with him. Didn't even have a piece of paper stuck under his arm. Wasn't even trying to pretend that he needed help.

"I have questions."

He didn't elaborate. You lowered your legs, placing your tablet on your laptop. 

"This is Calculus I office hours. For calculus questions only."

His eyes flickered to your laptop and tablet. Back to you. 

"Is this what the TAs should be doing during office hours?"

Suddenly, you could feel your pulse in your ears. Point taken.

"What do you want?"

He slid into the chair across from the desk, hands still in his pockets. Watching you carefully, still smiling thoughtfully. It should have been unnerving, but there was no malice in that smile. Maybe you were imagining it though, so you kept your guard up. 

"I'm Jeon Jungkook."

Yeah, I guessed, you thought wryly. "And my name is on the syllabus. What do you want?"

He tilted his head at you, studying your face. 

"How do you know Jimin-ssi?"

Isn't Jimin older than you, punk? "Our parents are friends."

He nodded slowly. He looked around the windowless office, at the three papers tacked to the wall – outdated notices – to the still open door, to the desk with your laptop, tablet, and backpack. Then to you, sitting back in the black office chair, eyebrow raised, hands half-in the sleeves of your gray flannel, cropped black sweater underneath. 

"I think you're beautiful, noona."

Your brain winced at the compliment and your hormones looked up from the abyss. Your brain scolded them to go back to their hidey-hole. You clicked your tongue. 

"I'm too old for you."

There was an ever-so-slight tick of his head. His eyes shifted downward and then flicked back up to you, almost shyly, if it wasn't for the small smirk dancing on his lips. 

"We both know such a mindset is outdated."

You felt your breath catch in your throat. The fuck? Your hormones peeked out again. Your brain was too distracted with trying to find a comeback to tell them to fuck off. You figured you better cut this off right now before it went too far. 

"This whole conversation is inappropriate," you said evenly, standing up from the chair and rolling it back. You walked around the desk and stood in front of it, balancing your ass against it. You crossed your arms over your breasts. "You should leave."

He slowly, slowly gazed up at you. Why did he look so satisfied? Your heart did a little three beat skip. Stop it. Keep it together. Jungkook got to his feet, hands still in his pockets. Then he pulled them out and pushed his sleeves up.

Oh?

Tattoos ran up his right arm, the beginnings of a sleeve. Ink black against light tan, flexed muscle. He was not a skinny pretty boy. You were so busy staring at his arms that you barely registered him placing them casually on either side of you, face right next to yours. Now you were staring down at his broad chest, at his black distressed sweater.

"Excuse me?" you snapped testily, lifting your head to look into his smug eyes. 

"I won't touch you," Jungkook murmured quietly. "Unless you ask me to."

This punk ass bitch.

You narrowed your eyes. "What makes you think I would?"

That small teasing smile came back. 

"Well, for one, you haven't actually told me you have absolutely no interest yet."

Your hormones prodded you excitedly. Your brain told them to shut up. Your eyes moved to the open door behind his head, looking into the empty hall, trying to keep a balanced, even tone. It came out a little sharper than you intended.

"Door's wide open."

"Embarrassed to be seen with me?" Jungkook purred, breath on your cheek. 

You tried not to react even though your hormones were fucking losing it. "What about you?" you shot back sharply. 

You heard Jungkook chuckle. "Fuck no I'm not." Your heart jerked heading the crude word come out so daintily and casually from his lips. "I want to be seen with you. All the time. In every position." 

You finally tore your eyes from the open door to give him the side-eye. "Real big words there."

Jungkook smirked. "I'm giving you a chance to tell me no. It's taking everything in me not to bend you over this desk right now and fuck your brains out."

You sucked in a breath. Accidentally. Not on purpose. There's absolutely no way Jungkook would have noticed unless he was literally right next to you. Which he was. Shit. He leaned in closer, still not actually touching you. 

"You like that idea?" he breathed, the lust evident in his voice, not even trying to hide it. 

"I am not some easy bitch at the club, Jungkook. This is the fucking math department," you scolded, eye-level to the base of his neck, wanting very badly to make out with it.

Now it was his turn to inhale sharply. He pulled his head back, and now you were face-to-face with those dark, dark eyes, falling, falling, your body screaming at you to do more. And still you didn’t, torn between reason and instinct.

"I'm so pissed," he growled, breath against your lips. "That the first time I hear you say my name, I wasn't watching your pretty lips form it."

Those few strands brushed against his exposed forehead, framing his furrowed brow and those intense dark brown eyes, making you breathless, telling you that you should, even though the last shreds of reason were telling you, do not, do not, do not give in to Jeon Jungkook. 

"It's the middle of the damn day," you murmured.

"And you make me horny every second of every day," he groaned, so close now that his nose almost touched yours. "With your stem stare, your assertive stride, your well-spoken words, and your beautiful body that demands to be kissed, loved, fucked." He panted, shoulders shaking. "God, I want you under me so bad. You have no idea, noona."

Resolve? Hello, where are you?

You raised an eyebrow. "You think you're enough for me?"

His dark eyes gleamed. 

"I know I am."

Your eyes flickered to the open door, the vacant hall, feeling Jungkook's body heat hovering so close, so close to you, and then you shifted your eyes back to him. Your brain was screaming at you and your hormones bonked your brain silent. The words at the tip of your tongue came tumbling out, nothing to hold them back anymore. 

"Let's see."

And then you kissed him.

Jungkook’s reaction was immediate, his large hands leaving the desk, grabbing your waist, ramming his crotch into you. You gasped against his soft lips and he slid his tongue inside, playing with yours, moaning, kissing you hungrily. His fingers pressed into you through your clothes, strong, tight, unforgiving. Your eyes flew open, surprised at his eagerness. He retreated his tongue and nipped at your lower lip, sucking on it lightly. You shivered, feeling him lift you onto the desk, pushing your legs open with his hips, grinding against you. He kissed down your chin, lifting your head impatiently, moaning against your skin. Every gentle kiss a jolt to your system, contrasting with his rough hands kneading your waist, pulling you close against his firm body, the fucking desk cutting into your thighs, eyelids fluttering.

There was movement at the door.

You froze.

Jungkook’s lips latched onto your neck, sucking sharply. You choked back a wanton moan, seeing a familiar face. A familiar, plump smile with cute, lovely eyes. He waved a small hand at you and reached for the doorknob, locking it from the inside before winking at you and closing the door silently.

Park fucking Jimin.

That bas–

Your thought was sharply cut off by Jungkook nipping at your throat, hissing as he rolled his hips into your thigh, a distinct bulge pressing into you. He yanked down the front of your sweater, sucking on the space right between your collarbones. You whimpered and shuddered, wrapping a leg around his waist and hooking him towards you, hands finally leaving your chest and grabbing his, fingers getting caught in the holes of his sweater.

“Fuck,” he growled. “I’m so fucking hard already because you’re so fucking hot.”

You caught yourself against the desk, elbow slamming onto the wood. You winced. “I haven’t done shit,” you said, surprised to feel your lips slightly swollen.

Jungkook grinned. “You don’t have to. Just you below me is enough.”

You glared at him and he bent over the desk, grabbing the back of your head, pushing your face to his, kissing you again, stealing your breath. It was the perfect mix of force and desperation, leaving you yielding, back arching as he sucked on your tongue, bobbing his head up and down slightly to pull on it. You tried not to make noise – everything was already too noisy anyway – only crying out softly when he let you go. Now you were on your elbows with Jungkook towering over you, licking his lips, the spare strands now stuck to his exposed forehead. His eyes roamed over your body before landing back on your face. You gave him your best questioning look.

He chuckled darkly. “I want to rip all your clothes off, but something tells me you will be upset with me.”

You narrowed your eyes. “Because this is still the middle of the math department, let me remind you, Jungkook.” You huffed. “I don’t live here. Don’t get crazy.”

He grinned, leaning forward. “Say my name again, noona. God, let me watch your delicious lips speak my fucking name.”

You raised your eyebrows. Then you felt his hands on your jeans, undoing the button, making you jump. The zipper going down, down. He yanked at the seam, digging it into your already wet pussy, shoving your panties into your slit.

“A-ah, Jungkook…”

Oh fuck. That sounded kind of pathetic.

He bit his lower lip, and yanked again.

“J-Jungkook, ah…” Your eyelids fluttered, trying to keep your strict demeanor.

“Fuck,” he hissed, firmly gripping the waistband of your jeans and pulling them down your ass, half-dragging your panties down. “You like that, noona? Do you want me to be rough with you?”

You prayed to the higher power that he would just take the damn hint and not make you say it. But Jungkook was dragging your panties back up, the thin black fabric being sucked into your folds and ass as he pulled them far too high. You gasped, trying not to look down, trying not to look at his face. But he grabbed your chin, dragging you back to him, making you open your glazed eyes, making you see his excited expression.

“Look at me, noona.”

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

Jungkook held the front of your panties and pulled, hard. You had to choke back a moan, the fabric nearly ripping, rubbing harshly against your clit. You felt the squelch of you getting wetter, hearing it clearly as he yanked at it, stimulating your clit.

“Tell me you don’t like it, noona,” Jungkook whispered hotly, letting go of your chin. “Tell me and I’ll stop.”

You spread your legs involuntarily, trying very hard not to make a fucking sound, but it was already obvious by your fists clenched against the desk, your widespread legs, and your pussy lips practically sucking your panties in, so much so that they nearly disappeared into you.

Jungkook snuck a glance down, gasping softly at your glistening pussy being tortured by your panties. He dropped to his knees and you had only one second to be confused before Jungkook’s tongue licked up your slit. You had to slap a hand over your mouth to avoid crying out, leaving your sounds limited to muffled whimpers as he lapped at your juices, groaning into you. Your entire lower body vibrated as he teased your covered clit, smushing the fabric into your deeper, rougher. Your hips strained, trying to hump his face but only digging your panties into you harder.

You removed your hand from your face, biting on your tongue to regain some semblance of thought so you fucking talk.

“T-take it off…” you gasped. You looked down, seeing his mischievous eyes above your quivering mound, licking his lips slowly, pink tongue tracing the contours of his mouth.

Jungkook raised his hand.

Smack!

This time you had to actually shove to knuckles into your mouth and mute your squeal as pain radiated through you, your pussy stinging. He slapped you again, right on your clit, hard, making your throw your head back and nearly hit the desk, hips raising to meet him. Oh, God. He pressed his finger against your aching clit, rubbing hard, standing up to bend over you, an impossibly strong presence as he pleasured you.

“Say it, noona,” he breathed. “Tell me you like getting your pussy spanked.”

He was rubbing your clit so hard that you felt your hips raise into it, eyes rolling back into your head.

“Say it or I’ll stop,” he warned menacingly, voice so low it ripped through you.

You tore your knuckles out of your mouth. “Don’t stop, please, fuck, Jungkook, I love it when you spank my clit, fuck, please, fuck.” The words came jumbling out in a rushed, half-panicked whisper, cut off by your sharp gasp as your orgasm clawed into you. You felt Jungkook slap his free hand over your mouth, shutting off your wail as your throbbed into his hand, turning into helpless whines as he spanked your clit hard and fast, accentuating your high with waves of sudden, aching pain. You pushed his hand away, pressing your head against the desk, gasping.

“Harder, please, Jungkook, harder.”

He was staring at your fucked-out face, massaging your throbbing pussy with his palm, coating his fingers with your cum. Your voice a thin moan, hips rutting into him.

“Believe me, I want to,” he snarled. “I want to so fucking bad, noona, but we’re already loud enough and you’re making a fucking mess.”

He pulled your panties down, nearly useless at this point and roughly shoved two fingers into you. You gasped, tongue lolling out and he took the chance to put two fingers of his free hand into your mouth, rubbing your wet tongue. You could feel every joint, the calluses of his fingertips as he thrust them into you, slopping, wet sounds accompanying his movements.

“Fuck, look at you, noona, sucking in my fingers, letting me fuck your mouth,” Jungkook murmured, centimeters away from your face. “I haven’t even fucked you with my cock yet and you’re already taking me so well.”

If you could think, you probably would have a snappy response, but Jungkook was stuffing his fingers into your mouth and scissoring the others inside your pussy, driving you insane. You made eye contact with Jungkook, him and his blown-out pupils, his lips trembling as he rammed his fingers into your holes faster, harder, sliding you up the wooden desk. Something inside you snapped and you squeezed your eyes shut, your body shaking as you came again, trying to yell, but unable to because Jungkook shoved his fingers into your throat, making you almost choke if it wasn’t for your own expertise. An embarrassing amount of liquid poured down his hand and wrist, dripping down your thighs. You clamped your legs shut, burying his hand, hips jerking as the aftershocks rippled through you.

You heard Jungkook swallow loudly, jaw tight. He slowly pulled his fingers out of both holes, strings of bodily fluid following him as he did so. Your shaking knees were barely holding your lower body up, jeans constricting your calves and your upper body way too fucking hot.

You laid back on the wood, trying to catch your breath. Was it a fucking cliché? Probably. You felt Jungkook lift himself off the desk and you closed your eyes, chest heaving. Of course. He was just going to leave you like this, tearing your secret out of you and then leaving to boast about how he turned the head Calculus I TA into a helpless, submissive puddle of goo without even actually fucking you. Why did you even bother–

You suddenly felt the desk creak and snapped your eyes open to Jungkook climbing onto it, straddling your chest, unzipping his pants right in front of your face. His slicked hair was becoming unfurled now, more and more dark strands falling down around his ears. His brow furrowed, eyes so wide and focused you weren’t even sure he was actually looking at you.

“Uh–”

He reached in his black boxer briefs impatiently and pulled out his thick, leaking cock. Your eyes widened and his found yours, glittering with arousal. A smear of pre-cum grazed your cheek as he adjusted his position to push the red, bulbous tip against your lips.

“I want to fuck you, noona, but you have to clean me up,” Jungkook breathed, gently asking you but also trying to greedily push his dick into your mouth.

You could say something, but somehow you concluded you were going to be muffled anyway, so you opened your mouth, tongue snaking out and licking the head. Flat, wide, and all over, coating your tongue with his pre-cum, moaning at his taste. Jungkook sunk his teeth into his lower lip, hissing softly as he spread his legs even more, lowering himself slowly into your mouth. You licked around his cock before closing your lips and sucking, growing wet as he thrust his hips into your mouth, slow and steady, eyes closed. You reached up to hold onto his thighs, whimpering as you felt his muscular quads through his pants. He opened his eyes and looked down at you, sliding his cock in a little deeper, hitting the back of your throat.

“Fuck, noona, so fucking sexy, taking my cock like that,” he groaned, reaching down and pushing your hair out of your eyes. His dark hair hung down, framing his face in shadow, making your pussy throb at the image. “Makes me want to fill all your holes up, makes me want to coat you with my cum and see you covered in it, messy and dirty with me.”

You couldn’t say anything so you just whined, nails digging into his covered thighs.

“You want that?” His voice dropped several octaves again. Your skin prickled hotly with every word. “You want me to jack off all over you and leave you a mess covered with my cum?”

You squeezed your thighs together, desperate for friction, now moving your head to suck harder, rubbing the tip fiercely against the back of your throat.

“F-fuck,” he gritted out. He tapped your hand hurriedly, eyelids fluttering. “S-stop, stop.” You whimpered, sadly looking up at him. He chuckled, rubbing your knuckles soothingly.

Look here you little shit, you can’t say all that dirty stuff and not expect me to be horny, your eyes were telling him.

“I know, I know,” he purred. “But I want to fuck your pussy and office hours are almost over…”

You glowered at him, but reluctantly unhinged your jaw, opening your lips. He slid out, gasping, hitting you in the chin and getting the front of your sweater wet.

“You’re a jerk,” you muttered as he climbed off you.

Jungkook chuckled. “Sorry, noona.”

You shook your hair and reached into your backpack, pulling out a condom, only to turn around and see Jungkook pulling one out of his back pocket.

“Oh.” You blinked at him. “You’re prepared.”

Jungkook wiggled his eyebrows. “I knew what I was coming for.”

A muscle in your brow twitched as he tucked his tongue in his cheek, grinning widely at you as he ripped it open and slid it on slowly, rolling it down his thick cock. His voice changed, dipping raspy and low.

“Turn around.”

Part of you wanted to fight, but then you spied the time. You rolled onto your stomach, sighing exaggeratedly as your legs tangled a bit in your jeans. You felt Jungkook’s presence behind you as he bent over your back, hand sliding over your lips and covering your mouth.

“Sigh all you want, noona,” he growled, chuckling as you shivered. “Just don’t scream when I’m fucking you.”

Your eyes widened as you felt the head press against your puffy pussy lips, pushing in forcefully, expanding your tight little hole as his cock entered you, his moan against your ear, your name dripping with lust. Both of you still mostly clothed, but his cock sliding deep, deep inside you, his teeth on your earlobe. Your walls throbbed around him, squeezing him. He gasped, jutting his hips experimentally into you. A stifled moan sneaked past his fingers, your tongue licking them lightly.

“That’s it,” he breathed. “Nice and tight for me, bent over this desk.” He nipped at your ear, whispering softly as he began to fuck you. “What if someone hears you, whimpering for my cock, begging to be fucked?”

Your hands clenched into fists, eyes fluttering shut, feeling him pound you into the wood, deep and slow and far too perfect.

“Noona, what if someone sees you?” His voice like smoke, invading all your thoughts, threatening your dreams, cursing you with the feeling of his lips on your ear and his hips pounding your ass. “Proper, harsh, strict noona turning into a slut for this cock, bent over this desk and humping my hips so you can get this dick deeper inside you?”

You squeezed your eyes shut and wiggled your ass against his cock. He thrust his hips harder into you, jerking you forcefully upwards, your thighs smacking against the desk. Light flickered in front of your closed eyelids and you opened them, seeing your phone screen glaring at you. A message from Jimin. Finish already! You struggled to say his name and Jungkook lifted his hand for a moment to hear your shaking breath.

“Jungkook,” you panted. “Time.”

He covered your mouth again. “You’re right,” he grunted, rolling his hips into you, biting back his moans as you clenched around him. The wet, slapping sounds became louder as he changed his angle, fucking you roughly into the table. It pushed your hips up and you clung onto the edge of the desk, moaning around his hand, tongue pressed flat against his palm as he fucked you with reckless abandon, beating a damn indent of the edge of the desk into your thighs. The dull ache was going to lead to a bruise, but you didn’t care, pushing your hips back to meet him. A choked wail vibrated in your throat as you came again, whole body lurching as he sunk his teeth into your clothed shoulder, groaning as he came inside you, cock twitching and throbbing against your walls. You felt the condom expand, matched with Jungkook’s hiss as he pumped into you. You pulsed your pussy around him and he detached his mouth, whispering your name against your ear.

“You’re dirty, noona,” he rasped, the words so breathless they made you shiver. “I love it.”

You shakily reached up and peeled his hand from your mouth, gasping as he straightened to hold the condom and pull out of you. Fuck. Oh fuck. You scrambled for your phone, seeing Jimin’s text.

You better rush outta there, noona.

You heard the wet, peeling sound of Jungkook pulling the used condom off gingerly. You turned around, hissing at Jungkook before he threw it in the trash.

“Are you crazy?” you muttered, snatching it from him. “Someone will see.”

Jungkook blinked at you. “What else do I do with it?”

You glared at him and tied it up, grabbing some tissues and wrapping it inside. Then you shoved it in your backpack, along with your laptop, your tablet, the spare condom, and reaching over the desk to unplug your laptop’s AC adaptor so you could shove that in your bag too.

“Fuck, your ass is so sexy,” Jungkook marveled behind you.

“Jungkook, we have to get the fuck out of here, so pack your damn dick,” you ordered, yanking your jeans up. Squelch. You sucked in your lower lip in at the cold, uncomfortable sensation of your soaked panties. You zipped your bag and checked around the desk to make sure you took everything. You grabbed your phone and shoved it in your back pocket, turning around to see Jungkook rezipping his pants. Thank God. You might have been tempted if he hadn’t listened to you. Then you remembered the two bits of condom wrapping on the floor and picked those up too, shoving them in your other pocket.

Jungkook smirked at you. “So thorough, noona.”

You scowled at him. Maybe he hadn’t been in this situation before, but you sure as hell have.

“Stay here for twenty seconds and then leave.”

Jungkook pouted at you. You felt your heart skip a beat.

“But I don’t even have your number.”

You rolled your eyes. “Ask Jimin. You two are in cahoots anyway.” You popped your head out, looking around. No one. You popped your head back in. “Also, you owe me new panties the next time I see your smug little face, you punk,” you added, tone irate.

He smirked at you; his long dark hair wispy around his playful eyes.

You gave him one last look before you tore your eyes away, rushing through every back stairway to get the hell out of there before someone could realize you just fucked a freshman during office hours, your slopping, torn-up panties reminding you with every step that you really needed Jeon Jungkook to fuck you again.

-

part ii

--

masterpost

[frienderbender]

please tell me more about rikki’s style change in the 2000s… do you have any inspiration pics??

omg YES i would love to…..thank you anon…..more stuff under the cut (refs included!) also fair warning i’ve had a drink and i’m a little sleepy so i apologize if it seems ramble-y or half-baked BUT i really love this topic

so i base rikki’s style in the 1990s off of both faith no more-era mike patton and motley crue in the 90s. i wanted to get inspiration on both sides here lol but i did find myself looking more towards tommy lee’s style specifically, probably because pam anderson was one of my major influences when i designed nikki.

anyway so i wanted this just general cool guy appearance for young rikki. i wanted the “rockstar who doesn’t give a shit about the industry” look. and i’m just talking about everyday fashion here—i think he goes much wilder when it comes to things like big performances and public appearances/award shows/red carpet stuff/etc.

specifically his normal fashion includes things like darker clothes, tops that show off his tattoos, LOTS of chains/accessories, piercings, dyed and styled hair, facial hair, graphic tees, and typically not a lot of layers. overall he’s meant to come off as a Cool Young Dude you don’t wanna mess with.

the type of fashion that 90s crue had was pretty much in direct response to how glam metal had pretty much died with the 80s and was leaning more towards this new grunge sound that defined the 90s. you see the glam inspirations in the looks while still trying to look, well, more modern. idk it’s just interesting to me, and it’s fun to take inspiration from both that and fnm-era mike because he was arguably dressing much more like the aforementioned grunge guys were. so it’s fun trying to find a bit of middle ground when i’m clothing rikki here. overall though i still take more insp from the glam metal guys bc i just think that fits rikki more :^] AND it plays into how he dressed and markets himself in the 2000s.

speaking of. let’s talk about the 2000s. there was a style that emerged at this time that i think really was the perfect combination of the aforementioned styles. this was an aesthetic that had somewhat come out of early 2000s styles—styles categorized mainly by the emphasis on overindulgence, hyper-spending, luxury, and as a direct response to the minimalist designs of the time—and, while i don’t think there’s one agreed upon name, i’ve dubbed this mid-to-late 2000s look the “spikeTV look.” think bedazzled shirts and jeans, splatters, graffiti and tattoo motifs, and warmer colors. it has all the glam of the previous looks with the callbacks to grunge culture.

see, the thing about this look, is that i find it to be…….marketable. these looks became very popular, and i think designs along these lines feel very synonymous with the mid-to-late 2000s for a lot of people. it was almost like a watered down version of the luxurious, ultra decadent looks of the early 2000s—a more attainable, personable version of it to many people because……..do you know what happened in the year 2008, the year SnBII takes place? the recession. now i’m not about to sit here and figure out/debate on how THAT would work out in the context of the mtl universe at least not today but i will say that i do think that is something crucial to keep in mind when it comes to discussing this aesthetic and era of fashion and how it pertains to rikki.

rikki, at this point, is doing everything in his power to be relevant again. he’s purposefully selling himself as a brand for the first time, and he’s trying to be as marketable as possible in that respect. BUT the thing is, people know and recognize and love him as the bad boy rocker he was in the 90s, buuut also people (as in, the general public) aren’t really looking for That right now in this year 2008. so what better way than to look like a much tamer version of that? you still have the general Cool Guy look, but things are a little more covered up, you’re wearing warmer colors, and you still shine, but it’s not coming from your piercings and chains, it’s coming from the rhinestones on your ed hardy tee.

from an old timeline line-up thing. 90s on left, 2008 on right.

[nostalgicfun]

Coco shouldn't be in your Halloween movies collection post. Coco is about the day of the dead, thats a mexican tradition about honoring and remembering our loved ones who passed away. Thats nothing like halloween. I asked you kindly to remake your post and out that movie away.

Good afternoon! Thank you for reaching out about the inclusion of Coco! 😊

Coco was added directly to this list by my roommate (and best friend of over a decade!) Leo, who is not only from Mexico, but has played as a Mariachi since he was 14! Leo and his family moved here from Villa Guerrero in the late 90s, and I have learned so, so incredibly much from him and his family since we met ten years ago!

I was making this list while sitting and talking with Leo and was complaining that I was still several movies short. He took one look at the list and said “you forgot Coco!”

I told him that it was a lineup of traditionally spooky movies, and that it would probably be best for me not to include it, and that I had it written down in my doc file to make a separate post about it on the appropriate day. Leo (who has the patience of a saint lol) sat down and explained that as long as Coco is NOT referred to as a Halloween movie, it’s okay in his eyes (and we texted his sister for double validation) to include it on a “Season of Scares” list, as long as I acknowledge that it is NOT a Halloween movie on the day that it comes up. Believe it or not, that’s actually the direct reason why the list is called “Season of Scares” rather than a Halloween lineup; Leo suggested taking out the Halloween phrasing!

He talked about that fact that Coco is commonly completely excluded from October movie lineups with the reasoning “iT’s NoT a HaLlOwEen mOvIe” (his mocking tone, not mine lol) and that leaving it out altogether is, in his opinion, more hurtful in the long run than including it to start with. He’d like to see more people enjoy his culture as long as they can accept and respect Mexican culture for what it is!

As soon as I made the first post, I did queue up a scheduled post for the 16th(the day Coco is on the list) that explains that this was Leo’s personal pick and to ensure that viewers know that it is NOT a Halloween movie! 😊 I have attached a screenshot of said post below.

That being said, you did make me aware that I said “Halloween season” in the original post one time, which I was trying hardcore to avoid, so thank you for making me aware of that. I am deleting all reblogs of this post on my blog and removing the word "Halloween" from the original post. The list is supposed to be a fun autumn/ “spooky” lineup created with the intent to offer fun alternatives to the horror-movie based lineups we usually see this time of year!

I hope this clarifies things. I would absolutely never do anything to step on anyone’s toes. For years I wouldn’t even make traditionally Hispanic dishes for dinner until one day Leo’s mom was like “you know you’re allowed to make tacos at home, right? You can make tacos. You’re not saying you invented tacos you’re allowed to cook them.”

OKAY ADDITIONALLY: I started typing up this response at work. Things like this rattle me pretty bad, so before posting this I walked over and talked to the leader of the LatinX Club here on campus, who is Mexican (as are over 80% of the members) to make sure it was okay of me to stick with what Leo said. I didn't want to come off as "WeLl aCkshUalLy" so I showed her this ask, as well as the lineup and the post I have queued for Coco. Her sentiments seemed to mirror Leo’s: “Add Coco, but speak up! Raise awareness! It’s NOT a Halloween movie, yeah, but it deserves a spot on a spooky list nonetheless!” She, without knowing what Leo said, added that it’s better for non-Hispanic people to add it than to not acknowledge its existence at all, as long as they understand it’s not a Halloween movie! (And I did let her know I'm removing the word "Halloween" from the original post)

In addition, she had a suggestion for ANOTHER Day of the Dead movie that often gets overlooked: The Book of Life! Even I’d never heard of this one, and apparently it’s a Guillermo del Toro movie!? She described it as “Coco adjacent” and told me to “get Sweeney Todd off of that list! That’s not even a little kid friendly. You should have The Book of Life before you have Sweeney Todd." She also pointed out that it has a mostly Hispanic cast!

So on Sweeney Todd's designated day we will be acknowledging The Book of Life instead, as per Mrs. Diaz's request! I was already doubtful about including Sweeney Todd because it's a bit more graphic than I prefer on this blog, so this is basically exactly what I was looking for! ♡

In addition, Mrs. Diaz urges everyone to go see yet another Hispanic (Colombian, I believe) Disney movie coming out: Encanto! Like The Book of Life and Coco, it also features a predominantly Hispanic cast! It will be released this November and focuses on a Colombian family, their culture, and their meaning of family! She points out that non-white Disney movies (and non-white children's movies in general) don't have a history of doing spectacularly in (at?) the box office, so it's important for everyone who wants to support this movie to do so to the best of their ability! (Yes she is sitting beside me while I write this, sorry for the ad lol)

Okay now I’m done. I know internet promises mean just about nothing, but I promise with ever fiber of my miserable little being I would never, EVER step on anyone’s toes or post anything willfully ignorant. Thank you so much for making me aware of the fact that my wording was harmful so that I could rectify the post and prevent any further hurt feelings or misunderstandings!

[holidaywishes]

a bit of stress relief

  Requested: 👍

  Summary/Request: Can you PLEASE write about Freddie coming to your work and having a quickie in your office

  Warning: smut, fluff, whiny Freddie

  Author’s Note: REQUESTS ARE CLOSED for a bit. I do have one more in my inbox right now so I’ll add it to my drafts but after I write that I won’t be taking requests for... a while. Maybe a month? I have a few series I want to finish up before I start having requests piling up. I always love seeing my inbox full of requests for different types of fics, so this isn’t forever, just until I’m able to finish my Gally series for sure and possibly my 9-1-1 series. This request was fun and I just couldn’t say no lol. Thanks in advance for your understanding and I hope I’ll be able to get back to requests sooner than later but I’ll keep y’all updated! Stay Golden, loves! <3 

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xx

  Your boss asked you to go into the office on a Saturday to finish an assignment that she had forgotten to mention earlier in the week. You would’ve argued that you had plans but your boss said it was for a presentation the next morning that they needed the information for

  “I’m sorry, Freddie,” you whined to your boyfriend as he tried to convince you to stay at his apartment, “believe me, I’d much rather be here but I’m not about to get fired...”

  “It’s not your assignment, it’s hers,” he argued, “she made the mistake. Why do you have to do it for her?”

  “It’s my job” you admitted

  “Except when it’s not...” he groaned

  “Freddie,” you sighed, “I won’t be long I promise. I just need to go in and print up some stuff and make a couple calls. Nothing major...”

  “So why can’t your boss do it?” he challenged, “it’s her mistake, so.. she should be responsible for fixing it”

  “I know,” you repeated, wrapping your arms around his neck before kissing his cheek, “but I can’t lose this job. I have loans to pay off”

  “You know I can help with that”

  “No,” you scoffed, “no you absolutely cannot. I don’t want to feel like I owe you anything. That’s not the relationship we have... I’m not your sugar baby”

  “But you could be”

  “But I don’t wanna be”

  “Alright...” he laughed, kissing your nose playfully

  “I’ll call you when I’m finished okay. I give it one, two hours tops”

  “If you’re not finished in two hours, I’m coming down there and taking you home” he teased

  “Okay,” you scoffed, “I’ll see you later.” You got to the office and rushed into your boss’s office to find the information you needed to work on. The office was empty, as it should’ve been, but when you heard the door open and close, you popped your out of the door to see who was there, “Hello?” you called

  “(Y/N)?” your co-worker asked

  “Mason? What are you doing here?” you returned, noticing now that a bunch of your co-workers were walking in

  “We could ask you the same thing” he chuckled

  “Laura forgot to do stuff for the presentation tomorrow, so she asked me to come in and do it”

  “For the conference?”

  “Yup”

  “Yeah,” he replied, “our team is having the same issue. Except they’re saying they ‘lost it’ or that it ‘must have gotten deleted somehow’ so now we have to be here all day trying to fix this”

  “Why are any of this people in charge again?” you asked

  “Maybe they slept their way to the top” he joked before waving you goodbye and heading to his station. You started at this company as an intern, mostly handing out mail and grabbing coffee for everyone, but they kept you around because you had a good eye for graphic design which was important in a marketing firm. However, your boss, Laura, had replaced Debra, the former Head of Marketing, a month before you were hired to be her assistant and she really wasn’t all that fond of you. She claimed that your degree should be in Business or Marketing not Graphic Design and that you’d only ever be an assistant in this industry so ‘don’t hope for more than that.’ You didn’t think too much of her comments though, at the end of the day, you had a job to you and you were going to do it well; even if it meant coming in on the weekend to do her forgotten assignments. When you finally found Laura’s papers, you groaned audibly, realizing this wasn’t going to be quick work

  “Hey!” Freddie greeted you from the other end of the line when you called him to let him know what was happening

  “Hey...” you sighed

  “What?” he groaned, “what’s going on?”

  “It looks like I’m gonna be here for a while. Laura underplayed how much work there was for me to do...”

  “You can’t really be doing this?” he whined

  “Babe, I have to. I told you, it’s my job. But,” you added, hoping it would make him feel better, “it’s not just me! Apparently, all the senior staff forgot to do these super important assignments for the conference. So, a bunch of us are here working until we finish them”

  “You need to quit this job,” he grumbled, “clearly no one is good at what they were hired to do”

  “I can’t quit unless I have something lined up,” you argued, “babe, I’m sorry. I know I promised that we’d lay in bed all weekend because this was the first time that you had free time but I have to do this. I promise, I’ll work as fast as I can but the longer I’m on the phone, the longer I’m at the office. So, I gotta go. I love you and I’ll see you as soon as I’m done okay?”

  “Call me and I’ll pick you up,” he replied, “you shouldn’t have to take an Uber back here...”

  “Okay,” you smiled, “that would be nice. Talk soon. Love you”

  “Love you, too” he said before you ended the call. You took a deep breath and started getting to work. Organizing timelines and trying to understand doctors-note-handwriting from past meetings

  “How can she possibly expect me to be able to understand this?” you thought to yourself. You signed onto her computer and were immediately left in shock at the jumbled mess of her desktop, “holy fuck!” you exclaimed silently, it’s no wonder she gets nothing done, “she’s the most unorganized person I’ve ever seen!” You spent the next 20 minutes opening files to find what you were looking for, closing what was not it immediately so you could legally say you didn’t see anything, and then you had to spend the next half an hour printing documents and running back and forth between Laura’s office and the copy room

  “How’s it goin’?” Rob, one of the other team members who was forced to come in and work on a Saturday, asked when he noticed you rushing throughout the room

  “Oh, you know, I’m sure I’ll have a panic attack in the next, oh, twenty or so minutes” you replied, sighing as you walked back to the printer one last time. You had managed to get most of the paper work done but you still had to make a few phone calls to get estimates on some of the ad spaces needed and whether or not there could be a discount involved for the company

  “Hey!” Freddie said gleefully, walking into your boss’ office like he owned the place

  “Freddie,” you gasped, a slight sneer on your tone, “what are you doing here?”

  “I came to see you...” he replied, furrowing his brow at your response, “when you said you were gonna be longer than you thought, I thought I’d come down and surprise you. Maybe take the stress off a little?”

  “That’s sweet, babe,” you smiled, noticing the look in his eyes and realizing what he was really there for, “but I have to make some calls so I can’t... do that”

  “We can make it work” he teased, biting his bottom lip quickly before pulling you close to him

  “Fred...” you whined, kissing him once before pushing him away from you and walking back to Laura’s desk, “I really do have to work. You can sit if you want but that’s it...” he slumped onto the plush couch against the window and frowned before scrolling through his phone as you started to call the businesses on your list. After about 10 minutes, you noticed Freddie peering up from his phone to look over at you, as if he was trying to get you to hang up the phone just from a look, choosing to walk over to you when you didn’t. “Yes, that’s right. I know you’ve been with us for quite some time and our relationship has helped both our businesses grow,” you spoke as Freddie swiveled you and your chair out from the desk, “we want that relationship to keep growing” you continued before noticing the smirk on Freddie’s face as he hovered over you, kissing your neck as you tried to pay attention to the call. “Mhmm,” you said to the person on the other end of the phone, distracted by Freddie’s lips pressing against the sensitive skin on your neck, his hot breath cascading down your neck, “mhm, sure. I understand” you said again, trying not to let on what was happening. “Laura is so sorry she couldn’t make this call to you herself,” you lied, Freddie kissing his way down to your core, pulling off your leggings quickly and kissing your inner thighs as you spoke, “however, she is excited to showcase your work to those at our conference tomorrow. We all just wanted to make sure the numbers were 100% accurate...” you had to bite your lip and move the receiver end of the phone from your mouth in case any sound escaped when you felt Freddie’s tongue finally press against your clit. “Oh that’s great!” you exclaimed when the partner on the phone added a discount to the quote you’d already been given, claiming that, had he known other businesses would be hearing of his services earlier, he would’ve offered it sooner. “Thank you so much,” you smiled, Freddie’s hands pulling your body closer to his him as his mouth brought you closer and closer to your orgasm, “I or Laura will let you know how everything goes. Thank you again” you said quickly before hanging up the phone. “Fuck,” you cursed breathlessly, “oh my god, Freddie!” your back was forced to arch, as you were pretty much falling out of your seat as Freddie continued to stimulate your clit, only now moving his finger to caress your folds before slowly inserted it inside of you and pumping until you whimpered, tugging at his hair. “Freddie,” you squeaked, trying not to be heard from outside the office, “fuck” you repeated quietly, your grip loosening from his hair as his ministrations slowed and your breathing steadied.

  “How’s your stress now?” he smirked, wiping his mouth casually before standing up in front of you once more

  “You can’t do that” you said, small pants escaping your lips, making Freddie believe you less than you intended

  “I think I can” he teased

  “I was on a business call, Fred!” you exclaimed, pulling your leggings back up, “what if they heard something?”

  “They would only hear something if you let them” he countered and, ultimately, you knew he was right but you still shook your head

  “You can’t do that” you repeated and he scoffed, hovering over you once more to taunt you with a kiss but stopped right in front of your lips

  “We’ll see about that...” he smirked, taking his hands away from the chair and walking back to sit on the couch

  “What’s goin’ on with you?” you asked

  “I just want to be with you,” he whined, giving you puppy dog eyes and earning a scoff from you, “that’s what we were supposed to be doing anyway...”

  “I told you we would when I got home...” you said

  “Come here,” he said, patting his thigh, “come sit on my lap” you chuckled but obliged. You wrapped your arms around his neck after sitting on his thigh, playing with his hair and kissing his nose before he spoke again, “see, isn’t this better than making a few phone calls?” he asked, his hand beginning to rub your back lightly

  “You know I would rather be doing this, or more than this, with you,” you admitted, leaning in and kissing him softly, letting your lips linger a moment before you pulled back, “but I have to do this stuff...”

  “Just a quickie...” he whispered, “and then I’ll go. Then we can pick up at home”

  “This is my boss’s office” you whined

  “All the more reason to do it. We’re in a private spot, secluded from everyone else, it’s perfect” he replied, kissing your jaw before moving down to your neck and you let your head fall back to give him more room

  “Mmmm,” you hummed, melting into his kiss, “I can’t”

  “(Y/N)...“ he groaned

  “Just a few more calls,” you argued, “I don’t have a lot left. Just like, five, maybe six”

  “That’s a lot. How long are each of those calls? 10 minutes? 20?” he asked, “we could do a lot with that time...”

  “Stop,” you smiled, standing up from his lap and walking back to the desk chair, “just a few more calls...” you repeated. He slunk into the couch and angrily unlocked his phone while you picked up Laura’s phone and began dialing. You were able to make three calls before Freddie began sighing loudly across the room and you had to glare at him, which is when the texts started

  “I want you” he sent as you spoke to another advertising partner on the phone

  “Like now” another came through

  “I’m gonna come over there”

  “And make you cum again” you glared up at him and he smiled

  “And again” you shook your head, turning off your sound so the partner didn’t hear the constant dinging

  “And again”

  “And again”

  “Until you can’t cum anymore” you noticed him smile as he thought up more responses and you threw a pencil at him, still paying attention to the conversation on the phone before mouthing ‘stop’ to Freddie but he just shook his head with a teasing smile

  “You won’t be able to walk”

  “Your legs will be numb”

  “Your chest will be heaving because you can’t catch your breath”

  “You’re gonna crave my dick”

  “Every time you move”

  “You’ll have to physically stop yourself from jumping me in public”

  “Because you’re still feeling me inside you” your eyes went wide as you read his messages, heat flooding your face as you ended the call, forcing yourself to dial another number before Freddie could get the upper hand. He slowly made his way to the desk once more and you gulped as you swallowed the saliva that had filled your mouth, Freddie hung up the phone before it ever even really began to ring

  “Seriously, don’t...” you whispered, knowing that you were about to break from whatever move he made next

  “But I want to” he growled, grazing your nose with his and you started to give in when he walked toward the door, “crap” you thought to yourself when you thought he was about to leave but he was only locking the door

  “What the fuck?!” you exclaimed, “that was unlocked this whole time?!”

  “Yeah?” he chuckled

  “Freddie! What would have happened if someone walked in earlier?”

  “They would’ve gotten a great show” he replied, walking over to you, leaning over you but not doing anything. You took a deep breath before running your hands up his arms, tangling your fingers in his hair before bringing him down to kiss you

  “We have to be quick...” you whispered, earning a grin from Freddie before he pulled your leggings off and directed your thighs around his waist so he could pick you up to carry you to the couch. You laughed when he sat down and you fell into him clumsily, “quiet” you shushed him before kissing him slowly and trailing your hands down to his waistband, pushing his pants down just enough to free his erection while his hands lifted your shirt up, stopping to massage your breasts. You heard a laugh outside of the office and stopped what you were doing, “wait,” you whispered, “I think someone’s there” he didn’t listen, kissing your neck and lining himself up with your entrance before bucking his hips to yours; your nails digging into his shoulders to stop yourself from making any sound. His hands gripped your hips as he thrust into you, bringing your attention back to him while your lips found each other in a clumsy rush to muffle the sounds of each other’s moans

  “Fuck,” Freddie moaned first, “fuck” you were about to reciprocate his sentiment when the phone rang and your head jerked back in panic

  “Shit” you sighed, worry mixing with pleasure as Freddie continued to grip your hips tightly

  “Ignore it” he said, kissing your peaked nipple over your shirt before moving a hand to your core, but your head still stayed looking at the ringing phone

  “What if it’s her?” you whined, referring to your boss

  “Ignore it” he repeated

  “What if it’s one of the partners or the vendors? What if it’s one of the really important clients?” you asked, knowing he wouldn’t give any helpful advice other than

  “Ignore it” he said once more, pulling your face back to his before kissing you harshly. The phone stopped ringing and you felt a faint sense of peace course through you as you softened the kiss that Freddie had started, your tongue begging for his lips to part, a muffled moan intertwining with his warm breath as it brushed over your exposed neck. Your tongue danced with his for a while as his fingers circled your clit, pressing down on the sensitive flesh every so often

  “Fuck” you breathed finally, now beginning to ride him faster, feeling his thighs flex underneath you as he welcomed the sensation of you crashing onto him. “Fuck,” you repeated, “shit, oh my god. Fuck Freddie” you felt your climax build as his lips met your neck, his finger still working on your clit while you rode him harder; the loud ringing of the phone the only thing that brought you back to where you were. “Ugh” you groaned

  “Leave it” he groaned back

  “Fuck” you sighed, reluctantly ignoring the phone to continue fucking your incredibly broad shoulder boyfriend

  “That’s my girl” he smirked, watching you bounce up and down his length

  “Fuck, Freddie, I’m gonna cum” you panted, your hands clutching his shirt as your hips began to shake. “Sh-i-it, god fuck! Freddie” you moaned, still trying to be as quiet as possible but knowing that everyone in the office was probably putting on noise cancelling headphones just to try to escape the sounds they were undoubtedly hearing.

  “Almost there, baby” Freddie breathed, clutching onto your waist to assist your movements. Fuck, his hands fit so perfectly on your body, you really hated that this had to end so quickly, but that’s what he came here for. “Fuck, I’m gonna cum in you”

  “Fuck” you breathed, dropping your head onto his shoulder, your body taking over until you and Freddie met your release. Like clockwork, the annoying ringing of the phone appeared and you had to scoff at Freddie while you quickly got dressed

  “That was fun,” he smiled, “you sure you don’t wanna go round two?”

  “Hello” you greeted, picking up the phone to continue the work you had come to do, “I am so sorry about that. I’m not sure what was happening with the line…”

  “So we’ll continue this at my place then?” Freddie teased before and you nodded with wink before shooing him away but not before he kissed you goodbye. You were dreading the walk out of the office if Mason and his team hadn’t left yet but you knew it had to happen sooner or later

  “So, should we hire a clean up crew before your boss gets back?” one of the guys teased

  “Shut up” you said, hoping your embarrassment didn’t show too clearly

  “You do know we put on our headphones as soon as we saw him,” Mason admitted, “we knew there’s no way that he was gonna just show up to say hi”

  “He could’ve,” you tried, exhaling when you realized you were never going to fool any of them, “fine. Just, please, don’t rat me out. I just pulled together a miracle in that office and I don’t need Laura finding out about my office sex-capades — I don’t want that to be the reason she fires me. I’m not that girl…”

  “We know” another co-worker smirked

  “Don’t worry, your secret is safe with us,” Mason assured, “it’s a don’t-ask-don’t-tell policy as far as we’re concerned” you gave him an appreciative smile before heading out to meet Freddie in the parking garage

  “Hey” he smiled as you sat in the front seat

  “Hi” you replied, leaning over to peck his lips

  “Did you get your work done?” he teased

  “Yeah,” you chuckled, “it was a miracle but I got it done” he took your hand and brought it to his lips to press a kiss to it

  “No more quickies,” he whined, holding your hand for the remainder of the ride, until he needed it for one reason or another, “I need more than that”

  “I agree,” you smirked, “now, let’s go home so you can fuck me until I can’t walk

  “Yes ma’am.”