#don't know how happy i am w/ this but ive spent too much time on it so im letting go and letting god <3

[mi-rae07]

Jung Wooyoung : As Good As You Were (Part 3/4)

Pairing : Jung Woo-Young (Ateez) and named character (Shin Naeun)

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Wooyoung was now helping the workers wheel naeun to the ICU, a doctor emerging from a room as she looked at naeun worriedly before muttering

??? : naeun.

Wooyoung looked at the unknown doctor in part shock as he asked

Wooyoung : how do you know my wife?

??? : she's my patient.

Wooyoung paused on his tracks as naeun was wheeled into the room, the nurses shutting the ICU doors in wooyoung's face as he let out a shaky breath. He felt tears in his eyes as he fell back against a nearby chair, his hands shaking in fear and worry. Her patient? Patient for what? Why hadn't naeun told wooyoung anything about this?

Wooyoung hoped it was just a minor inconvenience that could be solved quickly so they could go back to normal. It had to, right? The world couldn't be so cruel to wooyoung so as to take naeun away from him?

___________________________

The world was cruel after all.

??? : your wife has brain tumor, and it was already too late to be removed completely from her brain by the time we figured it out. That was probably why she didn't want to tell you, there was nothing anyone could do except wallow in their own despair from this news. Naeun-shi has maybe, another month or so left to live. After that the tumor would affect her brain activity, and that in turn will inevitably lead to death. I am so sorry, sir.

Wooyoung stared at naeun who was now sleeping on the hospital bed, an IV attatched to her wrist as the heart monitor beeped in regular intervals of time. Her heart, that beep, wooyoung couldn't believe it would last only for a month now. And naeun had known, she'd known all of this and she hadn't told him. He had dreamed of an entire life with her and now, now it was all gone.

Wooyoung still had tears streaming down his eyes, he just couldn't bother enough to wipe it away. He felt naeun shuffling against the sheets as she slowly opened her eyes, looking up at wooyoung as she whispered groggily

Naeun : w-woo?

Wooyoung : I hate you, you know that? I hate you so much I wish-I wish I could burn the entire world down.

Naeun looked around the room as her eyes widened, finally getting what had happened as she quickly sat up on the bed. Wooyoung sniffled, his shoulders trembling as he asked

Wooyoung : when did you know?

Naeun : wooyoung please-

Wooyoung : no more lies, naeun.

Naeun : the day before we went on that trip.

Wooyoung's face contorted as he tried his best to not let out a sob, shaking his head as he asked

Wooyoung : is that why you rushed the trip? And…and momo, that was…is that why you wanted to take her home so bad?

Naeun lowered her eyes as she felt the tears well up in them before saying shakily

Naeun : you said you wanted a family with me, and kids I cannot give you. So I thought-

Wooyoung : naeun do you think that a cat, or even a mere-a mere child can replace what you are to me? The…part that you hold in my life?

Naeun : wooyoung I have no choice.

Wooyoung : this is all my fault, I should've known-

Wooyoung cut himself off with a sob as he rested his forehead against naeun's lap. She could do nothing but cry in silence as wooyoung said

Wooyoung : all that while in the-in the trip I was doing everything with you thinking we could do this again one day when we…when we got older. And you, you were doing it all knowing it would be your last.

Naeun shut her eyes tightly as wooyoung cried against her lap desperately, shaking his head as he said

Wooyoung : you never should've married me, you should've married someone who could've treated you with love and care from the very beginning. Not four months before you…god!

Naeun : wooyoung don't say that, you've made me happy-

Wooyoung : happy for what, 3 months? After you spent 3 years being alone despite having a husband, despite having saved my family? I should be the one dying! I should've been the one on that bed not you! You've done nothing wrong-

Wooyoung cut himself off as the door opened, revealing wooyoung's mom with tears in her eyes as she said

Mrs jung : naeun-ah.

Naeun : e-eomma.

Wooyoung quickly stood up as he walked past his mother, heading out the room as he heard naeun call his name out. But he didn't respond back, how could he? How could he when his entire world was being taken away from him only a few months after he'd gotten it.

How could he when he never treated her right and now she was dying, and they had too less time.

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Wonjeong knew her son, she knew he would never forgive himself for this. Especially after what naeun had told him, that wooyoung had finally started treating her right. She knew this would happen someday, she just didn't think it would be too soon.

Wonjeong was now walking through the hospital gardens, hoping to find wooyoung somewhere. And soon she heard the desperate cries and wails of a man, knowing it was her son's as she walked towards it. She saw wooyoung crouched down on the grass, his head on his hands and his cries filling the garden. It hurt her soul, hearing her son cry like this.

Wonjeong : wooyoung-ah.

Wooyoung turned to look at his mother, his face red and damp with all the tears. He looked horrible, god wonjeong wished she could help her son.

Wooyoung : e-eomma. Eomma naeun she-she said she's going to leave me.

Wooyoung let out a sob as wonjeong shook her head, rushing up to wooyoung before hugging him. Wooyoung cried against her shoulder, wonjeong feeling her eyes tear up at how hurt wooyoung sounded. He'd never cried like this, not even when his father had forbidden him to continue his dreams.

His life had always been so unfair.

Wooyoung : this is all my fault eomma, it is all my fault I'm so sorry. I should've listened, I should've loved her when I could. And now…now I can't.

Wooyoung weeped harder against his mother's shoulder as he remembered what she'd told him months ago.

"One day, you'll lose her and you'll regret everything. And then you'll come to me, crying and begging for the forgiveness that is not mine to give"

Wooyoung shut his eyes tightly as his mother said

Wonjeong : sometimes life is unfair to us, wooyoung-ah. Naeun might…she might have to go soon but she'll never leave you, son. She loves you, even after she's gone she'll stay in your heart and your memories, forever.

Wooyoung : I don't want a life without her, eomma. I…I don't know how I could live without her.

Wonjeong closed her eyes, her owns tears sliding past her cheeks as she whispered

Wonjeong : you'll have to learn, my son.

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Naeun had been sitting against the hospital bed for some time now, wooyoung's mother already having said her goodbyes for the night. And yet wooyoung was nowhere to be found. She was just about to get up from her bed when the door opened, a drenched wooyoung stepping inside the room as naeun's eyes widened

Naeun : were you out in the rain?

Wooyoung said nothing as he closed the door behind him, sitting on the chair beside naeun as she said

Naeun : god, I'll go grab a towel for you. You're going to catch a cold otherwise.

Naeun quickly got off the bed before finding a towel nearby and going up to wooyoung, wiping his wet hair hastily as wooyoung whispered

Wooyoung : would this be the first and last time you ever dry my hair, naeun?

Naeun closed her eyes as she removed the towel from his hair, throwing it on the bed before saying

Naeun : wooyoung, we still have a month left.

Wooyoung scoffed as he said

Wooyoung : a month, 30 days? I wanted 30 years with you, naeun, not 30 fucking days.

Naeun : I'm sorry.

Wooyoung : what if I die with you?

Naeun's heart froze at those words

Naeun : what?

Wooyoung : what if I kill myself the day you die, hmm? Then we can be together again-

Wooyoung cut himself off as naeun slapped him, his head tilting to the side as she said in a shaky voice

Naeun : don't you dare. For all that you have done in the past I have forgiven you, wooyoung. But if you do this, then I will never forgive you. In this world, or the next, if you do anything to harm yourself after I'm gone, I'll never forgive you.

Wooyoung closed his eyes, lowering his head as he said nothing to that. Naeun stared at wooyoung for a while, not knowing what to say either. Then she held his cheeks, lifting his head up to face hers as she said

Naeun : I love you, wooyoung, I love you so much I cannot imagine if something would happen to you even after I'm gone. I can't bear the thought of you being hurt-

Wooyoung : and yet I have to see you hurt, see you die, see all my dreams with you get destroyed within barely a month. If you cannot bear the thought of seeing me hurt…

Wooyoung looked up at naeun with his teary eyes, the look on his face making naeun want to do anything to live, anything to stay. But she knew she couldn't. tears streamed down wooyoung's cheek as he said in an utterly broken voice

Wooyoung : then how can I see you die, naeun.

____________________

Wooyoung was now driving back to their penthouse with naeun just staring at him from the passenger's, not having said a word after they entered the car. Wooyoung had woke up today pretending as if yesterday hadn't happened. The doctors had told them there was nothing they could do so it would be better if naeun got discharged and spent the last few weeks of her life doing things she wanted to do. Wooyoung had just signed the papers and gotten naeun to leave.

He had smiled at her, smiled as if she wasn't sick and going to die. Naeun couldn't say that she didn't like it, it felt better when wooyoung didn't treat her as a patient.

Wooyoung : we're going to the beach today after this. So once we reach home and have breakfast, we'll go there.

Naeun : okay.

Wooyoung turned to look at naeun due to the one word answer as he asked

Wooyoung : why, do you not want to go?

Naeun : no no. Of course I do, anywhere I go with you is fine for me.

Wooyoung smiled as he turned back to face the road, one of his free hand coming up to coil around naeun's as she smiled, holding her husband's hand with both of hers. She liked this, and she wanted to feel this as much as possible. It could be her last time feeling it after all.

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Naeun was now smiling as she felt the waves crash against her feet, the sky above her slightly cloudy and not too sunny. Perfect for a beach date. Wooyoung was just watching her from the side, a smile on his face as naeun picked up water with her hands and threw it up.

She looked so beautiful, wooyoung had thought, and so he'd taken a million pictures of her within the past few minutes, the wind blowing her hair back and the light making her skin glow. She looked like an angel, the kind that made you forget about all your sins.

And then wooyoung remembered, it had been his passion to take photos, and yet he'd taken none of his wives. He had taken a lot when they'd gone out for the trip but now he was going to take it every time naeun did something, special or not.

Naeun : young-ah! Aren't you coming!

Wooyoung smiled and nodded before putting the phone back in his pocket, walking up to naeun as she held his hands before dragging him into the water as well. Wooyoung grimaced as he felt the waves crash against his feet, filling it with mud instantly.

Naeun : isn't it so much fun!

Wooyoung : ew, the sand's making me feel kinda thrown off.

Naeun : really?

Wooyoung : mhmm.

Naeun let out a mischievous smile as she suddenly threw beach water at wooyoung's face, making him scream as she ran away from him as fast as she could.

Wooyoung : MY FLAWLESS SKIN NO!

Naeun laughed as wooyoung started running after her, the water splashing against their feets as he caught up to her and picked her up. Naeun squealed as wooyoung rubbed his nose against her, smearing the beach water on her face as well as naeun rolled her eyes before saying

Naeun : you're stupid.

Wooyoung : but you love this stupid man.

Naeun giggled as she leaned forward, kissing wooyoung as she rested her palm against his damp cheek. And to the onlookers they looked like the most carefree couple ever, not a single problem plaguing their relationship.

Only they knew that this was another one of their lasts too.

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A week later :

Naeun was now sitting with her head rested against the penthouse glass window that overlooked the city below them, wooyoung humming some music as he cooked dinner for them a few meters away from naeun. This entire week they had spent going around Seoul, even having gone to Jeju for a few days as a trip. Naeun had only ever visited that place for office deals, but wooyoung had shown her around the entire place within the span of 5 days, and he had booked another trip to Daegu for day after.

Naeun's eyes widened as a raindrop fell against the window, followed by another raindrop as the city soon disappeared under her due to the rain. She stood up from her seat, an excited smile on her face as she called out to wooyoung

Naeun : woo!

Wooyoung : yes I know it's raining. And momo get off the damned counter, you brat!

Naeun giggled as she said

Naeun : I'm going to the balcony.

Wooyoung : what!

Naeun didn't wait for a response as she rushed towards the nearby balcony, stepping outside as the cold rain suddenly hit her, drenching her hair and clothes. Naeun smiled as she closed her eyes, feeling the rain on her body. She had always loved the rain, and that was because of her parents. Because they'd bring her out with them when it rained and would play some nice music, the three of them dancing until they got tired and cold. It had been decades since she'd danced in the rain with anyone, and she missed it.

Naeun opened her eyes as she heard her favorite jazz music being played from inside the penthouse, the sound loud enough for her to hear clearly despite the rain. Was she dreaming this?

Naeun looked to the door as she saw wooyoung stepping into the balcony with a smile, walking closer to naeun as he bowed before holding his hand out for her to hold

Wooyoung : may I have this dance with you, my lady?

Naeun chuckled in disbelief, holding wooyoung's hand as she said

Naeun : but you hate the rain.

Wooyoung : but you love it, and I love you.

Naeun smiled as wooyoung stepped backward before stepping back in, holding his palm against naeun's as he walked in a circle around naeun who giggled before asking

Naeun : you know how to dance?

Wooyoung : I am a man of many talents, mrs shin.

Naeun giggled as wooyoung twirled her around, holding her by the waist right after before bringing her close again, their bodies following the romantic rhythm of the music.

Naeun : how did you know I liked this song?

Wooyoung : I heard you listening to it a year ago. And, you had this specifically be played at our wedding. This was the song we danced to on our wedding for the first time, remember?

Naeun remembered, and for them to be doing this again for the last time, the rain pouring down on them, naeun wouldn't have given this up for the world.

Wooyoung : I never told you then, but I thought you looked beautiful in that wedding dress.

Naeun felt tears prick her eyes as wooyoung twirled her around again, bringing them farther away from each other as naeun quickly blinked her tears away. As the music got faster wooyoung brought her closer to him again, whispering to her

Wooyoung : I wish we could do that all over again, marry each other again, so I could treat you as the bride you deserved to be treated as.

Naeun closed her eyes in pain as wooyoung lifted her up, spinning her around in his arms just the way he had done at their wedding 3 years ago. Except now he was looking up at her with love, so much love that it made naeun's heart well up in joy and pain. Joy of having found someone like him, and pain of having to leave someone like him behind.

The music slowly faded as wooyoung brought her slightly down, still looking up at her as he whispered

Wooyoung : let me do what I should've done years ago.

Naeun closed her eyes as wooyoung kissed her, their tears mixing with each other and the rain as naeun wrapped her arms around wooyoung's neck. And they soon felt desperation and need take over them, wooyoung carrying naeun to their bedroom as her hands worked on wooyoung's shirt buttons to remove them hastily.

And just like that, as the rain drops fell against the frosted glass windows of the couple's penthouse, their bodies joined to become one. As it was meant to be.

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A week later :

Naeun was now playing around with momo as wooyoung set up the picnic mat at the park, the puppy running to get the ball naeun had just thrown before rushing back to her with it in momo's mouth as she chuckled and patted her head.

Wooyoung eyed them as he said

Wooyoung : she seems to like you. Whenever I come close to her she just bites me.

Naeun giggled as she picked momo up, her licking naeun's face making wooyoung rolled his eyes before saying

Wooyoung : only I'm allowed to do that though.

Naeun gasped as she whacked wooyoung's arm, making him giggle as he finally sat on the mat before putting out all the food for lunch in front of him. Naeun hummed as she sat beside him, momo cuddled up in her arms as she said

Naeun : ooh it looks very yummy.

Wooyoung : yes obviously, I made it after all.

Naeun : it suddenly looks very disgusting.

Wooyoung : okay then don't eat.

Naeun : actually nevermind I'll have it cuz you made it and I love you.

Wooyoung : totally not cuz it's delicious.

Naeun : definitely not.

Wooyoung smiled as he picked up a piece of sushi before feeding it to naeun, her humming as she mumbled

Naeun : heavenly.

Wooyoung : thank you, finally the appreciation I deserve!

Naeun giggled as momo opened her mouth as well, staring at wooyoung with eyes that said 'feed me too' as he sighed and gave the puppy a sushi as well. She seemed to like it as much as naeun.

Naeun let out a satisfied breath as she rested her head against wooyoung's shoulder, smiling as she patted momo before saying

Naeun : I wanted to come here one day with you and our kids.

Wooyoung pressed his lips together, naeun eyeing the family that was having another picnic a few meters away from them, the kids running around their parents as they laughed at their children's smiles.

Wooyoung : naeun-ah.

Naeun : I'm sorry I can't give that to you. If only I had more than a year left to live, I could've at least given you a child, an heir-

Wooyoung : I don't care about any of that. I'd rather not raise a child without it's mother to love them, it would be torture to have someone that keeps reminding me that if you were here, we could've brought them up together. It's either with you, or nothing darling.

Naeun smiled as she looked up at wooyoung, him kissing her forehead as he whispered

Wooyoung : you're all I need and want.

_____________________________

1 week later :

Today was naeun's last day at work, except no one other than naeun and wooyoung knew it. Naeun got sicker as days passed, and she knew that the rest of her last week in this world would have to be spent at her penthouse. And that was where she preffered to spend it, she'd rather she spent her last few days with her husband than at work.

She just wanted to feel all this one last time, this company that had been passed onto her by her parents, something that had been in her family for years. The work that accompanied her when she had no one, what helped her drown her feelings in. It had been the second most rewarding thing in her life, apart from wooyoung.

Mina : boss? You called me?

Naeun : oh, yes. I have something for you.

Mina frowned as she closed the door behind her, walking towards naeun as she stood up before handing over a bunch of keys to mina. Mina eyed it in confusion before asking

Mina : do you…do you want me to send your cars for cleaning, boss?

Naeun chuckled, shaking her head as she said

Naeun : those are the keys to a new house, a house that I have bought for you near the Han river. It'll make a beautiful home for your husband and you, and your newborn soon.

Mina's hands instinctively went to her stomach, her eyes widening as she asked

Mina : ma'am…how-how did you know?

Naeun smiled, patting mina's shoulder as she said

Naeun : consider it a gift from me for your services this past decade. And the other key, is for your new car. It's a Range Rover, I heard it was your favorite car.

Mina sobbed in gratitude as she hugged naeun, making her smile as she wrapped her arm around her secretary

Mina : thank you so much boss! I don't know…I don't know how I could repay you for all this.

Naeun : you don't have to, it's my gift mina.

Mina : you can be my son's godmother then, would you mind that? Being the first one to hold my baby after my husband and I?

Naeun bit her lips to prevent her tears, wishing she could do that. If only she lived long enough. Naeun pulled back as she smiled and said to mina

Naeun : of course. It's just that, if for some reason I am not able to attend it, would you let wooyoung be his godfather instead? Let him hold your son in my stead?

Mina : of course! I'm sure you'll be there but if by any case you aren't, then I wouldn't mind sir doing it either.

Naeun smiled and nodded, patting mina's back one last time before saying

Naeun : thank you, mina, for everything.

_________________________

Wonjeong : naeun-ah! I didn't expect you to come today. Is wooyoung not with you?

Naeun : he isn't, I just wanted to talk to you alone for some time.

Wonjeong : sure sure. Come in, the maids have made lunch. You can have that and go as well.

Naeun smiled and nodded as she stepped in, following her mother-in-law to the living room as she sat down on the sofa opposite wonjeong's.

Wonjeong : what did you want to tell me then, naeun-ah?

Naeun : it's about…wooyoung. As you know, eomma, I only have a week left to live. And after that, my company has to go to someone. And I wish for that someone to be wooyoung.

Wonjeong : oh, naeun-ah.

Naeun : I have written a will, it's in my office desk. If I told wooyoung this I know he would never let anyone take it, he finds himself unworthy to take my company as his. But it is my wish that he has it, as he is the man I love, and my husband. So after I'm gone, if you can, I want you to take the will and bring it to action. Wooyoung will only ever listen to you in this matter, eomma.

Wonjeong stood up as she sat next to naeun, taking her hand in hers as she smiled and said

Wonjeong : I will do that for you, I promise.

Naeun smiled and nodded before continuing with a shaky voice

Naeun : and um, after I'm gone, there would be no one left to really take care of wooyoung. I know it is too much to ask of you but if you could just make sure he's healthy, and happy. I just love him so much and I wish I could stay and take care of him but I can't…

Naeun trailed off as she shut her eyes, tears flowing down as wonjeong shook her head and hugged naeun. Naeun sobbed against her mother-in-law's shoulder as she said in a broken voice

Naeun : please take care of him for me eomma, please.

Wonjeong : of course I will take care of him for you, naeun-ah. I'll make sure he always remembers that you loved him, and always will even if it's not from this world.

Naeun nodded, knowing this would be the last time she'd get to hug her mother-in-law as she sniffled before whispering

Naeun : thank you so much, eomma.

Wonjeong smiled, wiping her own tears as she pulled back and held naeun's cheek before saying

Wonjeong : you're the best thing that's ever happened to my son, naeun, I hope you'll always remember that.

______________________________

[zarisdonut]

The opinions that literally no one asked for

Alright so yesterday I finished Fate: The Winx Saga and here are all my thoughts.

Disclaimer: These are just my opinions, so it's okay if you don't agree w me.

First off, STELLATRIX.

Can't get them off my mind and I'm a 100% sure Beatrix is gonna come back so it's fine. I absolutely love their dynamic and honestly, I've spent all the eps just waiting for their scenes and I am not ashamed of it. Btw, Stella should've been a lesbian, but it's fine. As long as she's sapphic I don't really care.

Also, I'm pretty sure theyre gonna be canon. Like, all their relationship is so queercoded, with parallels w other ships and everything??? No way they're just gal pals. I refuse. So yeah, in other words, I am clowning hard, which is not surprising cause all I ever do in life is clown over sapphic non-canon ships apparently. (I have a long history abt that)

Musa

Musa, girl, what have they done to you? I didn't hate the haircut as much as I thought I would (even tho its not great) but the clothes???? Hello????? It was hard to watch.

Also, I was kind of surprised w the fact that I liked her "transition" from mind fairy to Specialist, so I'm pretty pleased with her storyline. I will say this: I wish she were sapphic. Not bc of anything specific, but I do remember having a moment where I shipped her w Stella, cause I made a whole fanfic in my head abt them, so yeah.

Also, riven and musa????? Look, I don't normally like m/f ships (specially if they're not in a sitcom). Like, I don't hate them, but they don't give me the buzz, yk. Most times I'm just neutral about them, but I gotta say, man, that Riven and Musa... God, I loved their scenes. I found their dynamic so interesting and the chemistry. THE CHEMISTRY. The slowburn is gonna burn so good.

Terra + Flora

V happy with the fact that Terra is a lesbian cause we need more lgbtq+ people in this show (and in life in general). I will say her storyline w the specialist girl is a bit odd cause they don't really focus much on her (which they obvs should've done that) and isn't she dating someone else when they have their first kiss???? A bit confused abt that.

Other than that, I liked her storyline, and even tho her coming out isn't the best one Ive ever seen, I was pretty pleased. Especially the moment where she tells the whole group and she wants to dismiss it w the rug or smth (I forgot lol) and Stella comes in and hugs her???? Melts my heart.

Moving on, I didn't know how I was gonna feel abt Flora?? And I still don't know lol. I will say that the actress did a good job, but I think they should've added more bonding scenes between Flora and the other girls cause it just didn't feel like they were best friends just like the rest of the group? But maybe it's just me. Still, I don't know how I feel about Flora yet. Like, Im pretty sure I like her, but I think it's more about what she represents, (which is the cartoon character) than what she actually is. I definitely need to see more of her.

Also, the relationship w Terra,, it made sense but also it was too predictable. Like, its not bad but I did find it a tad basic and I wish they made it a bit differently. Like, I know it's hard to innovate but idk, maybe add a little something that makes them stand out? But again, maybe that's just me.

Aisha

Idk what to say abt her tbh, I just like her lol. I will say that it didn't make a lot of sense the way she reacted when she first met Grey (I think that's his name but in case its not, I'm talking abt the guy lol). Like, bro, the lake is not yours, chill. So it was a bit hard for me to get into the relationship but eventually I kinda did, so yeah. V sad that the first boyfriend she has, turns out to be a blood witch. The bestie cannot catch a break lol.

I will say that, (a bit of constructive criticism here) I find Aisha as a character a bit flat. And not only her, I think that in general all the characters except maybe Beatrix and even Riven(?) seem pretty shallow to me. Or maybe like, not shallow but as if they haven't still found their own spark? Idk if this makes sense but I feel like most characters fall into these cliches and tropes, which is totally fine, cause nowadays literally everyone needs to fall into one of these, like it's literally unavoidable. But baby, you need to add a bit of their own spark to make them stand out. To make them memorable, yk? So yeah, I wish they stopped and tried to work on the characters a bit more. Like, Stella, Musa and even Terra are not as bad (even tho imo they a bit of work from the writers wouldn't hurt cause Im pretty sure the actresses make more than half of the work in this aspect) but Aisha, Flora, Sky and especially Bloom... It's bad yall. It's very bad (Will explain the Bloom thing later, don't hate me just yet)

BTW: I say all of this out of all the love in my heart, cause I believe in all the characters and I see the potential, and what they could become. And I hate the fact that I can see it and they're just wasting it so yeah. Don't hate me besties <333

Bloom + Sky

I'm sorry but Bloom is the most basic female main character from a sci-fi tv show you can ever have. Like, bro, just put a little more effort into creating her, please. Like, I'm begging. Maybe it's just me, but the bestie is missing personality (not dragging the actress, just the writers and how they did it), cause yeah, its fine if she wants to sacrifice herself all the time, or if she wants to do everything alone cause she's special n stuff but it's like her whole personality is revolving around her having the Dragon Flame. Which yeah, it is important and it is a v important part of her life but dude. Dont make her one-dimensional.

This also happens w Sky btw. And ofc when you put a bland character w another bland character everything gets... well. Not great. But I won't get into their relationship bc honestly, I do not care. Like I said before, m/f relationships don't give me the buzz so yeah.

To wrap it up...

I did like the second season. I would like to say I liked it more than the first one but I barely remember anything of it, so yeah, lol (Im a horrible fan, I know). I will say that idk what it is, that's making me continue the show, cause I normally only consume sapphic/lgbt media, but here we are. And I did want to leave it a few times cause the heavy straight content is so strong, but Im glad I continued it. And I hope they get renewed for a third season cause I really believe that it has potential and yeah, that's all for now ig. Maybe I'll do another post talking abt other stuff, like plotwise or smth. We'll see. But it'll def be shorter than this cause holy shit, this is long for a person who "isn't v into the show anyways" (that's me lying to myself btw lol)

N e ways idk whos gonna read this, but on the off chance someone has read through all my bullshit and is reading these last sentences, woah, I'm impressed. I cannot believe you've stuck around to know all the thoughts of a random stranger on the internet abt a show abt fairies lol.

N e ways, I love you and have a good day <3333

Kindly,

The random stranger on the internet.

[pitynostars]

rewatching PotD properly let's gooo

"is there anyone out there" "yes." This was hot

"what am I doing, I've got a date to get to" is Dan talking ABT Diane ???

The idea of doing an EP about just the cyber TLs would be so interesting imo ajdkkfdjks... Like they're not converted humans but that's their whole deal usually so like....

"don't get shot" *Dan gets shot* prime comedy

"don't lose my sonic" patronising 13 i hate u

Did anyone else expect Dan to turn evil here the way he hesitated over the controls? XD

The alien shows them what they want right ???? Why does the doctor see a random kid?

"I'm the doctor I'm going to protect you" "the doctor lies" lmao

Ive seen people say like. The train CGI the painting CGI is rlly bad but honestly I can never notice but I don't rlly have eyes for that sort of thing

Ace and Tegan Skype friends <3 the ending should have been like this w all the companions where they're all just swapping adventure stories rather than the support group thing

"should we pick u up again in 24hrs" so Dan is on and off the TARDIS at this point ??? Having dates ??? Assuming w Diane but the only person we see him w in the rest of te EP is Graham so I mean....

"Yaz u and I can see where the cyber masters took that child" so... Yaz saw it as a kid too? Did I mishear the line ABT it looking how u want

"it's not my life" hmm I buy that BC we saw his life before of pretending to b the museum guide and helping out at the food bank and stuff he's a community guyTM sure hate that this is so weirdly rushed less i guess "I can attack it now because I've been with you" I buy less lmao... He's had no growth at all??? Also the way it's framed like he's talking to the doc is so odd when he spent more time w Yaz (unless they've been travelling for more than 3 years ???)

The doctor saying "homes important" just makes me HOWL tho ngl

"I'll b kipping on mum and dads sofa tonight" .... Where have u been sleeping all the other 24 hr breaks youve appaz been dropped off for ???

"not one for goodbyes" idk I buy that w 13 we saw the whole "one happy one sad" the hug goodbye for Ryan and graham

...so why can't 13 tell yaz about this traitor dalek??

also the concept of a dalek realising theyve strayed from their og mission does actually kind of slap but we did just see daleks v daleks in revolution so i'm glad this wasnt the main plot again

sacha dhawans acting<3<3

the scene where he looks in the tsarina (?)'s eyes and he's like "are my eyes not full of certainty" and u see him reflected in her eyes.... SICK. have they mentioned the master is kind of hypnotic yet in this era before this?

where are the dhawan telling the tsar to take a holiday vs donna telling caecilius and family to take a holiday in pompeii parallels.

are they saying dhawan master replaced rasputin nd made an alt universe with this cyberplanet in the sky? or is there some historical note about there being something in the sky at that time (?)

i love that the doctor and yaz both barely react to the hahahahahhaha tardis there's no like. wtf. moment they just head straight in.

i think it would have been sweet for 13 to stroke one of its panels and be like "oh shes not mine." nodding to that theyre telepathic!! but we seem to have forgotten that this era 😔.... i feel this generally in this era the relationship between the doctor and the tardis has been lacking actually like apart from ghost monument and spyfall we barely see them interact... i know its not always a Thing but man i loved 11 & the tardis' relationship so much i'd love to see a writer feature it more again 🥺

ive seen some people claiming yaz reads gallifreyan off the screen in the tardis. that would be cool but 100% you can recognise readings u can tell what data/readings are without labels necessarily like i can go into a car and look at a speedo and i dont need numbers on it to know what the readings mean yk?? either way it does speak a lot to teh familiarity she's got with the tardis and i <3<3 ... yaz and the tardis' growth is fun to think about. do you think she was grumpy that yaz was hanging out with the other tardis on earth in revolution ? XD

DOCTOR: Ah, there's a rudimentary cloaking shield in operation. Soon fix that. The Cybermen have tethered that child into this planet. It was registering as an energy source.

YASMIN: How is that child an energy source?

DOCTOR: Wait, there's more layers to the shield. Oh, not just cloaking. It's a consciousness shield! A creature trying to evade capture, hiding behind a visual projection shield, and this one shows us what we instinctively want to protect, as a defence.

Help me out here. Are they saying that the Qurunx also set up the cloaking ??? or that the cybermen cloaked it and it also put up the consciousness shield? ? or was it all the cybermen?? why would it need both?

also the idea of it showing what you want to protect -- do yaz and the doctor and dan ALL just happen to see a child in this situation then ??

"is this planet your doing?" doctor you literally saw the cybermen kidnap the qurunx to bring here 😭😭😭... YOU FOLLOWED THEM HERE

just once i'd like the "your master awaits" to be subverted/mirrored with "your doctor awaits" ...... the "this country needs a doctor" line is hot but its not the SAME.

"have you got any idea whats going on in outspace in 1916 rn" "strangely enuf. no" this line always gets me aklsjflk i love kate

"I'm Yaz. The only one here who doesn't really know what's going on" sorry babe that's your whole character

MANDIP INVENTING ACTING

i am once again asking ok these paintings got "defaced" so its not an alt timeline??????????? they never fixed this in the end right ??????? sweats. so rasputin was teh master alll along historically (?)... and he jst put himself in paintings in modern day ?? but then the dr says "some people think you're rasputin" ?????

"this is the day youre erased from existence forever" .... how does turning into her erase her from existence 😭

dhawan inventing acting

i still dont understand why this "give her a gun" moment is in there.

wait what happens to vinder in the end??? his ships broken

"you'll feel safer with me in the building" LMAO

"she really doens't want us back in there" and then yaz just drops her home w no goodbye to the doctor coolcoolcoolcoool

ok but why did the master clone ashad specifically what difference does he make over like. any cyberman/cyberleader??

love the russian doll cyberman lmaoooo... reminds me of that arc thing from doomsday/aog... TIME LORD TECH

if i had a penny for every time the doctor is forced into one of their enemies only for it to be purely for transport i'd have 2 pennies which isn't a lot but its a bit funny it happens twice

i love the rasputin moment but i dont rlly get the lead in ngl 😭 hes just like k time for my dance number mid speech. which i suppose like. in character XD

sacha dhawan in thirteens outfit.... i'm bisexual<3 i need to get my ears pierced

"Don't… don't… don't worry. You'll get used to me. Everyone will. I still need a companion to ask and… bask in my brilliance. Come on, Yaz. Let's go on an adventure! Don't make me ask twice. I'd hate to have to bring you down to size." /

"Come on, Yaz! Let's save a civilisation! Let's correct history! Rescue a sick animal! These yours? Oh, bless. Ow! What was that? Some sort of dirty protest? Unless you want to be consigned down a black hole for eternity, you'd better behave! I am the Doctor, and you will obey me." snapping in yaz's face "I AM THE DOCTOR NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

-> this would have hit soo different if this actually was the doctor i would HAVE LOVEDDDD it. first time watching i honetsly thought this was still the doctor and the tardis was reacting like that bc the regeneration was so unnatural (like the way she reacted to jack in utopia) but no 😔

mandip inventing acting<3

"very 80s" "thanks!" LMAO

"gold star and a sticker" u r sick

the random news drone on top of a random 2 planets is so.... ??? i feel like a lot of this was cut somehow aslkfjklgds..

also where's the awkward cut scene of yaz standing around while the master's in the wardrobe picking his outfit aksfjgdlkf

[plays the recorder on a burning mushroom planet] king shit

"quite the strength of character this incarnation" "DOCTOR 6: Our predicament! This is supposed to be handed over. You can't ruin it for the next one. / DOCTOR 5: And you were doing so well." i hateee these bits so much its SO patronising

"i dont do robes" lmao

why is whittaker in the reversed robe/the robe they used for time here hm

the hologram i do like as an idea tbf especially as we've seen the basic version w 9 and 11 and whatnot so her developing it to be more ai is rlly fun ... especially after she saw how handy having three of her in diff places was in flux lmaoooo

"it should only activate under the gravest circumstances. Like if I'm no longer around. Now, that would be disastrous. But I will have very subtly inserted a sonically triggered nano-implant under your skin and passed it off as static electricity. f I remember to do that. I must remember to do that." -- so either 13 has only just finished the hologram ai before this ep OR she KNOWS shes about to walk into some Real ShitTM and takes precautions akjfgldf.....

"HOLO-DOCTOR: Whoa! The emotional receptors on the AI are a bit oversensitive. Apparently, you're annoyed with me? Apparently, I should apologise for something?" this is so fucking funny because it comes across literally just like thirteen was she is always this fucking mean and patronising and borderline manipulative lmao its so askjdfglkdf......... blame it on the emotional receptors being oversensitive sure 🙄

i reiterate my point that most of the things/wins we get are done by the hologram dr, yaz is STILL asking the doc for validation even when shes a hologram 😔

"can't hurt the feelings of a hologram" SHE JUST TOLD U SHE WAS AI. watching this after measure of a man is like. HELLO.

"yeah well i didnt" [tosses bag] I LOVE TEGAN

they cld have mentioned nyssa in this rant tho fr

"i'll distract the cybermen" "how are you gonna do that" [cuts to screaming] hELP ASKFJDGLF... THE COMEDY IN THIS EP IS SO

the shot of ace falling into the console room is so fun actually <3

dhawan hood up<3<3

vinder no idea who the doctor is or their history w the doctor or yaz in this ep is. q funny to me.

"YASMIN: I'm sorry. / MASTER: Are you? Truly?/ YASMIN: Came back, didn't I? / MASTER: We could have fun, you know? I am fun. Different type of fun, but fun. We could travel. You'll see. "

i am once again saying i wish we got dhawan!doctor fr with this vibe

the touch of the ai mirroring the companions emotions is cute but i do still kinda wish we'd got whittaker to do these scenes fully

god i want ace and bill to meet actually

"the joy is to watch them fly" 😭😭😭

"former bus driver" is such a funny thing for graham to think when introducing himself

"wanna see how i dealt with them in 1963?" i'm kissing you on the lips

kate sacrificing herself is so<3<3 redgraves acting here is sooooo

jasfkdj tegan slipping on the ladder... is this a ryan reference or is that purely for plot convenienceTM

if the daleks plan is to destroy the planet through volcanoes then who do the cybermen have left to convert .....😭

wait the tardis in this shot LOOKS SO BAD i never notice cgi and whatnot idc but like LITERALLY THATS OBVIOUSLY A BOX WITH THE BACKGROUND PAINTED IN 😭

jo martin my beloved<3 god i wish she got more to do

vinder shooting the master is sooo<3 king

yazs speech about friendship and love got me actually.

i reiterate its the hologram telling yaz what to do this isnt her win wholly and that frustrates me so much 😭...

also how do the daleks and cybermen and master and vinder SEE ruths hologram when the doctor didnt plant the ai in them ?????? the whole static thing was the flag hello ??

"dont let me go back to being me" pleaseeee

"where there's hope..." YOU DIDNT FINISH THAT. THERES WHAT.

[trainstationgoodbye]

Film Noir Movie Ticket Stubs (enlarged image) Available on Redbubble

[itsthestutterforme]

Coma (Aaron Hotchner)

Y/N falls into a coma after getting hit by a car that ran a red light. The team fears that she might never wake up.

--

Y/N and Hotch have been past lovers but they managed to find a common ground to keep a professional relationship at work. But when Haley died, the first person Aaron turned to was Y/N. He spent countless nights over her house and he didn't have to ask her to hold him. That became first instinct.

Their relationship remained platonic and professional, but they both knew that at the very least, they had each other. Two years have passed and Aaron has met Beth. He seems really happy and geninuely moving forward, but he didn't want to tell Y/N because he feels that she would feel betrayed in some way.

Rossi and Hotch talk about it on the way to the conference room. "I've seen Y/N care more about your wellbeing than her own. How is this any different?" Rossi asks.

"What if she distances herself because she feels that I don't need her anymore?" Hotch asks. "Well do you.. need her?" "Of course," "Why?" "I--" "Good morning, Hotch." Y/N greets as she walks up to him and hands him a cup of coffee that she got for him.

"I saw this and thought of you. I tried it before but I have a feeling that you can make one better." Y/N adds as she hands Rossi a pannettone, an Italian pastry. She smiles at them before walking into the conference room.

Rossi and Hotch look at one another and Rossi says, "Now I see what you mean," "She's just so.." "Perfect for you. You two are on the same wave length." "I lost my chance, Rossi." "You don't know that," "Is everything okay guys?" Y/N asks as she peeks her head out of the conference room.

"Yeah, we're coming," ""Just think about it," Rossi says as he pats Hotch's back. Hotch sits next to Y/N and she repeats, "You sure you're okay?" "Yeah, I'm alright." Y/N doesn't believe it for a second, but she knows that he'll tell her in his own time.

This particular case was dangerous because it involved a schitzophrenic Navy Seal with severe PTSD from his time in the field. Y/N had seen the unsub kill a child and she was dead set on getting him. She knew she should have waited for back up but she wanted to catch him before he kills someone else.

"I'm in pursuit of the unsub," I say over coms. "No, Y/N. You stay and wait for back up." "He's getting away, Hotch. I'm not going to let him kill another kid." Y/N looks both ways before crossing the street.

She dashes across the street when minivan runs a red light and crashes right into Y/N. Her body crushes the windshield as she rolls over the top of the car. The impact of her head smacking against the concrete sends her unconscious. The worst part about it was that Hotch and Morgan stopped at the red light across from Y/N. They watched the whole thing and couldn't do anything about it.

They had to wait for the light to turn green before they rushed over to her. "Y/N!" Hotch says with tears threatening his eyes. He kneels down next to her and presses his fingers to her neck. Mor-" "They're already on the way here," "Y/N, can you hear me?" "She isn't moving," Hotch says to Morgan. "She's probably unconscious," "Damn it! I told her to wait. Why didn't she listen!"

"Hey, yelling at her won't wake her up, man." Morgan states. "That car was going at least 60 miles per hour. There's a chance she's--" "Stop, Hotch. They're on their way. Relax," "I can't relax because I love her!" "I'm sorry, I'm.." "At least you finally admitted it." "She'll wake up, Hotch." Morgan adds as he pats his shoulder.

**

The doctor comes out to a very distressed team. He sighs as he stuff his hands in his pockets. "No, no, please, not again." Garcia says with tears leaving her eyes. "She made it off the operating table but she's in a coma. There's no telling when or if she'll wake up." The doctor explains.

"Come on, man. Don't dismiss her like that. She's strong and she'll make it through this." Morgan defends. "I really hope so," "'Can we see her?" JJ asks. The doctors nods and motions to the room where she was. The team slowly walks in and Garcia falls into Morgan's chest as she sees how many bruises Y/N had littering her face and body.

"Oh God," JJ says as she claps a hand over her mouth. Emily offers JJ a shoulder to cry on.

The only thing they could hear was the high pitch beep of the intubator making sure she's breathing correctly. As well as the beeps of her heart rate. "I can't, I'm sorry." Garcia says as she leaves the room and Morgan follows her. Emily and JJ left the room soon after. "Can I.. have a minute with her?" Hotch asks Rossi. "Of course," Rossi says before closing the door on the way out.

Hotch sighs as he sits down next to her. "I should have told you about Beth. But for some reason, I thought that I was betraying you so I held off and now you." He trails off as tears prick his eyes. "What am I going to tell Jack ab- he loves you and I have no idea what I'm going to do without you." He rests his face into her stomach and cries into it.

Over the course of two months, Y/N was still in a coma and Jack would always ask to visit her whenever he was sad. There was something about Y/N that just calmed him down. Anyone that went around Y/N would feel calm and collected, that's just the vibe she gave. Hotch would always visit her whenever he needed to clear his head, which happened more times than not.

Hotch was feeling angry the entire day because one of the nurses gave him a pamphlet that talks about letting go and accepting loss. Y/N wasn't dead, she was in a coma. There a chance of her waking up. Hotch thinks to himself.

"Hey, are you okay?" Morgan asks Hotch, pulling him out of his thoughts. "The doctor thinks we should pull the plug," Hotch says, clenching his jaw.

"They have no right to say that. It's been two months, not two years. There's still a chance for her!" Morgan snaps. "I know, but I'm.. what if she doesn't wake up." "Don't you dare give up on her, Hotch." "Believe me, I haven't and it cost me Beth." "Hotch-" "The little free time I have, I spend visiting Y/N. And Jack has been asking about her since the accident. Beth feels like we're shutting her out,"

"Are you?" "Not intentionally. I was just so used to Y/N. I feel like I've taken her for granted and there's no way of her knowing. It's been eating at me for months." "Hey, studies have shown that coma patients can hear people when they're under," "I don't know what I'm going to do, Morgan." Hotch runs a hand over his face and Morgan was about to say something when Hotch's phone rings.

"Hotchner," Hotch answers and his face softens when he hears the nurse saying that Y/N has woken up. Hotch decides to keep that information between him and Morgan. He didn't want the rest of the team distracted like he was. Images of Y/N smiling and the sound of her laugh echoes through his mind. She's awake. She's finally awake.

**

Y/N's POV

My throat still stings from the intubator rubbing against my vocal cords. The doctor insisted that I drink a lot of fluids and the nurses helped reintroduce my muscles to the different movements. And now they- my calfs in particular- are screaming at me right now. I look at the TV in the top left corner.

There was some cheesy hallmark movie on but my mind drifts off to hearing Aaron's voice. Hearing him cry. Hearing everyone cry for me was worse than getting ran over by a car. The sound of the doctor's voice pulls me out of my thoughts. "She said she wanted to speak with Agent Hotchner privately," the doctor says.

Seconds later, Aaron appears in the door frame. "Hi," I cringe at both how raspy my voice is and how painful it was to talk. "Hi," he whispers. "How's Beth?" "We separated a few weeks ago," "I'm sorry to h-hear that," I trail off into a cough and reach for my water. He rushes over to my side and hands me the bottle. A rush of seratonin explodes in my brain as the cold water soothes my throat.

"You shouldn't be talking. It's too soon." he says. "But I have so much to say," "Me too, but we have time. The team is really eager to ta-" "I saw a light," I interrupt as I see him advance for the door. He stops in his tracks and I continue, "The light was bright and warm.. and it smelled of vanilla oil and honey. Everything drew me to it and I was so close to it that I could almost taste it."

"What drew you back?" "You did," I watch as Hotch plays his hands on his hips and drop his gaze to the ground. He was trying to hide his tears. "I heard everyone but you and Jack were the most clear." Hotch doesn't say anything but I hear a soft sob leave his lips. "Hotch?" He shakes his head and I slowly move my legs over the edge of the bed.

I inhale sharply as my feet makes contact with the ice cold floor. I take the rack with my IV catheter attached to it and walk over to him in small steps. He finally looks up to see me standing and his eyes widened. "What are you doing?" He takes me into his arms and I softly moan at the warm radiating off of his body. "I'm tired of waiting," I explain.

I wipe the tears from under his eyes and hold his face in my hands. "The fear of losing you makes the blood run cold in my veins. The doctor wanted me to pull the plug and-" I shush him and he whimpers. "I'm here now, Aaron." I rest my face into his collarbone and smell his alluring cologne. "I'm so sorry that I doubted you and took you for granted. I-I love you so much," he cries.

"Marry me," I say as tears escape my eyes. His eyes snap to mine and my breath leaves my lungs. "Like I said. I'm tired of waiting. If I learned anything it's that life is short and I don't want to waste any more time not being w-". He crashes his lips against mine and I finally feel the air restoring in my lungs.

My eyes flutter closed as our lips move against one another. His tongue dips into my mouth and I groan against his lips. His hands slide down to my lower back and I pull him closer by his beck. He pulls away from me but I find myself following his lips.

"Yes, I'll marry you." "You will?" "Of course,". He rests his forehead against mine and I lovingly rub my nose against his. "Did I just hear a proposal?" Rossi says as he walks in. "Proposal?!" Garcia yells. "Finally!" Emily says and everyone filled into the room.

Hotch positions me so his chest and pressing against my back. His arms wraps around my waist and would occasionally kiss my temple. Everyone all tried to talk to me all at once, something that I truly missed. I don't regret running away from the light at all. This is exactly where I'm supposed to be.

[snow-and-saltea]

I couldn't find the ask on the writing blog, so I'll ask it here instead ^^; For the Fanfic Writer Meme, how about A, B, E, I, X, and Y 💖

hi krys im sorry this took literally forever LMAO but i am Here Now

A: Of the fanfic you’ve written, which is your favorite and why?

- hmm!! i have to say stream and deer, the fic nyk commissioned from me for reikenn (reika x kennyo). i enjoyed writing it all the way through bc i got to rlly get to know another character deeply, and i spent some time with nyk to know what kind of character she was so that i had an idea of how to insert her into the narrative. i super enjoy it when i can get up close and personal with writing someone else's characters, bc its a way for me to expand my repertoire in writing realistic characters from scratch (aka they're not my own). and kennyo overall is my projection dummy bc i very much dislike his canon so i was just like. ill do it the way i want to do it then!!

B: What was the first fandom you read fic in? Which was the first you wrote fic for?

- this is embarrassing and highkey cringe for me bc im remembering my generic writing but it was for the vocaloid fandom! i just made silly little romance fics and i enjoyed it a lot, i used to write like 4k words in a sitting and nowadays im too tired to do anything more than 2k unless im fueled by smth (like Rage)

E: What character do you identify with most? Is there a certain fic of yours that captures these qualities particularly well?

- hmmm. there's no one i particularly identify w on a holistic lens, bc the only things i identify with characters are their struggles or their difficulties—which isnt the whole of who they are—or what they represent to me. i guess if i had to name someone who is dear to me, itd be furukawa nagisa from clannad. she's so :'))))))

I: How many fandoms have you written in? Do you have a favorite?

- i counted six fandoms, but its gonna be seven soon (im gonna write for tears of themis later with muwi dj'ing hehehoho)!! my favourite would beeeee i suppose ikesen, since its the one ive stuck the longest with. and ive made the most pieces for it, tied for one of my old fandoms!

X: How would you categorize your fanfic reading? Are you a voracious reader? Do you carefully pick and choose? Something in between?

- i like to read from writers i personally vibe with! since i would then trust their characterization, and i just enjoy reading the works of someone who looks like they're having lots of fun, its v v cute and adorable.

Y: What are your thoughts on your personal satisfaction with something you’ve written vs. the popularity of your stories? Do you tend to be most satisfied with your most popular stories?

- hmm, i don't feel too strongly about it! like, i like what i write and if i liked it enough to post it and be proud of it, and then it got popular, then that's p cool! but i dont really mind if some of my fics that i were satisfied with aren't my most popular ones. i find value in my satisfying fics through my own experience writing them, and people found value in my popular fics bc of something equally as respectable. its all good, as long as im writing whatever i want and im happy w it, its cool! i just happen to share fics bc i like talking to people and fic is one of the ways i do that.

thank you for your patience krys!!

[jeasthetic]

May 2019

Deolinda Kalila,

A girl with a beautiful face, who if you look from the outside will look fierce, arrogant, and also harsh. But if you know her more deeply, you will see her gentle and tough nature. So tough, that no one could match her toughness. A quiet girl who doesn't have many friends, also doesn't have many memories. Her life isn't full of happiness, but she never complains of circumstances.

Deolinda Kalila,

The girl who has been teaching the meaning of life, where you shouldn't complain just because of circumstances. If you feel desperate for your life, look back, see how many people were struggling to survive. Look at those who have so many burdens, but never complain about circumstances, never blame God.

The girl opened everyone's eyes, that the real world is not as cruel as people say. It's just about perceptions and presumptions. If you always think that the problem is too big, then that's how you will feel. Let us consider all problems small, because every problem must have a solution. It's all about timing, and how we live it. Stay optimistic, and always give thanks to God. Surely God will bless our every step.

Deolinda Kalila,

Her name has stuck with me, in the depths of my heart, filling every empty space in me. The girl who was strong was incessantly floating in my mind. Her is funny, sometimes spicy, but motivating chatter always rings in my head.

I feel like crying when I remember the memories we have spent together. Kalila is strong, who always looks tough, who always advises me, always supports me, and teaches me about the beauty of being grateful.

However, it turns out that Kalila isn't that strong, she isn't an incarnate angel, she's just an ordinary human. Someone who is already within her limits. Kalila is tired. Not tired in heart, but body.

*** *** ***

October 2018

The stars scattered in the sky indicate that the weather is sunny tonight. I invited Kalila to see how beautiful the scenery in the sky was. The stars still look beautiful even though we only see them from behind the window. Well ... Kalila's health isn't very good, she isn't allowed to go out at night, so I think this is the only way to comfort her when she is missing her parents.

"Kal, someone said if there is a shooting star, we can ask for one request and be granted," I said to Kalila.

"It's a hoax. The only one who can grant our request is God." she said seriously. Huh, even though I'm just kidding.

"If God gave you one wish, what would you ask for?" I asked.

"I want to live a little longer," she replied with a smile.

I shuddered in horror, "it's not like your age isn't that long. Anyway, no one knows how old you are."

"It's not that long," she replied lightly, "I don't know how old I am, but with my condition like this, the possibility of living a long life is very small." she continued.

I was stunned, I think her words were too .. too much.

"How bad is your pain?" I asked a little annoyed.

"Um ... btw, isn't it ridiculous if I ask to stay alive when it's time to go?" she asked back without heeding my question earlier.

I sighed heavily, "It's ridiculous, but 'how about it? Everyone has their own reasons why they want to live longer, including you." I replied. Forget my question earlier, Kalila won't want to answer it.

"Yeah, I want to be successful and be happy for Grandma, as well as the people around me." she said. Yes, it's that simple the reason.

"Nice." I gave a faint smile, lightly patted the top of her head. "Btw, it's already at this hour. I'm home, huh? Afraid that my mother will be angry." I say goodbye to Kalila.

Kalila just nodded limply with pursed lips.

"Alright, don't be sad. Don't cry anymore, your mom and dad need prayers, not tears. Okay?" I said.

Kalila nodded again, "be careful on the road."

***

Kalila absent from class for one week, without explanation – alpha. This certainly makes me anxious, I'm worried about the situation now. The reason is, Kalila is completely unreachable, and her house is always empty. Where it is now, I don't know. Even if I want to search, I don't know where to look, there is no clue at all.

All I can do now is visit her house every morning and after school, to check whether she and her grandmother are home or not. Even though I myself don't know whether they left to come back again or ... ah, I don't know. Besides, this is the only way I can do it.

I walked along the path to Kalila's house, hoping that this time I could meet her. When I almost arrived, I saw from a distance an old woman had just gotten out of a taxi and walked towards her house. There's no mistaking it, it's Kalila's grandmother. I immediately approached Kalila's grandmother, who was now at the door and prepared to open the doorknob.

"Excuse me, Grandma." My greetings to Grandma Kalila, make her fail to open the knob.

"Ah, Jeno-ya." she said, her expression sad and tired.

"Grandma, where is Kalila?" I asked without preamble.

"Ah, Kalila ..." Kalila's grandmother's sentence was interrupted, the sad face became more visible.

"Grandma?" I took Kalila's grandmother's hand, then held it.

Grandma Kalila cried, "Kalila..." she muttered a little sobbing, "Kalila is hospitalized."

I was flabbergasted, "Hospitalization? What disease does she have, Grandma?"

"A lot, kid. The virus is running rampant now." replied the grandmother between her tears.

"What? What virus?" I keep asking, really, I don't understand at all. What's going on here?

"Looks like it's time for grandma to tell you the truth, son." she said, I was just speechless.

Grandma Kalila told me everything about Kalila that I didn't know at all so far. She was really telling the truth, it made me disbelieve. Kalila, who has been looking tough all this time, turns out to be bearing a lot of burdens, one of which is to bear the disease she is currently suffering from. And how shocked I was when I learned of Kalila's illness.

Kalila contracted the HIV virus from birth. The doctor said, this was a fortune because Kalila was still able to survive today. The reason is, Kalila's father died after several years of contracting the virus, as well as her mother who died after giving birth due to an indirect infection from the HIV virus.

So far, Kalila has to take ART drugs or antiretroviral treatment, to prevent the virus from multiplying, and stabilize her condition to stay healthy. But lately, she didn't consume it due to cost issues. So that the HIV virus is increasingly spreading and causing various kinds of complications.

Kalila's grandmother's statements were so stifling, they filled my eyes with tears, which I just spilled. My heart feels very sick, really can't accept the harsh reality. In fact, from the start I thought that Kalila was indeed a HIV sufferer because some of the symptoms she had had did refer to the disease. But I always deny it, I always hope that my guess isn't true. And the worst will not happen.

"Why did you just say it now? Why did Kalila never tell the truth?" I asked in a slightly choked up voice, my tears have broken now.

"Sorry, son. Kalila didn't allow me to tell anyone about her illness. You must understand Kalila's feelings."

"But this is me, Grandma? I'm her best friend."

"Precisely because of that, Kalila doesn't want to lose her only friend. Kalila is afraid that you will stay away after learning about her illness."

Alright, so that's the reason. I don't understand why Kalila thought that I would leave her after knowing the illness she was suffering from. I'm not that bad, no thoughts of leaving her, at all. I thought Kalila was very familiar with my nature, but not. A little angry, but much disappointed.

"Grandma, I went to the hospital, right?" I asked Grandma Kalila.

"Yes, son. Jeno, wait here first, I wants to take Kalila's needs."

**

Kalila is lying weak with an IV in her hand and various kinds of tubes stuck in her body. Her body was too weak to simply change her sleeping position. Looks very tired, but still awake from sleep. I hold Kalila's left hand - the hand that is free from the IV - intending to strengthen it.

Actually I was angry and also disappointed, considering Kalila's attitude was so closed to me. But I don't have the heart to take it out on Kalila. She's too weak to argue with. So, I tried to throw away my anger, and excused Kalila's actions.

We haven't said anything since I came. Though usually she was very enthusiastic about welcoming me, even though she was sick. Kalila continues to daydream while staring at the hospital ceiling. Many times I called her name, but there was no response at all. And maybe she also didn't realize that all this time I was holding her hand.

"Jeno?"

Finally Kalila opened her voice. She called out my name without taking her eyes off the ceiling.

"W-what?" I stammered, a little surprised. I guess she didn't even notice that I was here.

Kalila turned to me, "when I go, you will not forget me, right?"

I rounded my eyes, "What are you talking about? Where are you going? You're still here." my pressure.

Kalila shook her head limply, "no, Jen. I took what I said yesterday, when it's time to go, I won't have much hope."

"Kal–"

"Please promise me, Jeno."

"W-what?"

"Don't ever forget me, even though I'm not beside you anymore." said Kalila, her eyes filled with tears.

"Never. I'll Never forget you." I replied firmly while holding Kalila's hand tightly, trying to look fine.

"And ... You have to visit me often, even though you're already married. Invite your little family to meet me, OK?" she said again.

I smiled bitterly, "Yes. But later, in a few years. Because I don't want you to go out anytime soon. I'm not ready. And again, what the heck, married ?!"

Kalila chuckled, "ready or not, have to be ready .. Ah ya, one more thing."

"What else?" I asked embarrassedly.

"Please take care of my grandmother." said Kalila with a sad smile, making my heart feel sliced.

"Yes, I will take care of your grandma. Your grandma is my grandma too." I answered.

"Thanks, Jeno." Kalila smiled again, "Thank you for accompanying me for this one year. You're my best friend, not because you are the only one, but because you are really valuable." My feelings warmed after hearing the words that Kalila said.

"Thanks also to everything you've taught me, Kal. Including about how to respond to a world that is sometimes not on our side. So far, I have learned a lot from you. I feel ashamed if I remember what I was, why I was so easy to give up, even though my burden isn't much. And since I know you, I feel like a stronger person. " I replied.

Kalila nodded with a shady smile, tightening her hand, "I love you, Lee Jeno." she said, then she closed her eyes.

"Kal!" I screamed. I immediately stood up, then checked her breath and pulse. My breath was caught, my body suddenly felt weak, my legs felt numb. I lowered my head to face Kalila who was helpless.

"Kal ..." I groaned. I closed my eyes, squeezed my chest which felt so sore with the tears pouring down.

"I want to go to Cambridge, the best university in the world."

"I want to be a successful person, Jen. I want to make you happy."

"Don't be stupid, your future is still long, Jeno!"

"Your parents must be fine, don't be sad."

"Don't be afraid to face problems, problems won't kill you."

"You have to promise, you can't even try to commit suicide again."

"You have to be strong, Jeno. You're a boy."

The sentences that have been spoken by Kalila ring in my head, as well as the sweet memories we went through together. Which now feels so painful. I hate this goodbye, but I never regretted our meeting. Met, then separated. Isn't that a natural thing?

As much as possible I try to let it go, even though it's so hard. But I also don't want to add to Kalila's burden, she has to go quietly. The struggle has been quite up to here, it has reached its peak.

Kalila's suffering in the world is over. Finally I have to let it go, because then Kalila will leave in peace. Hopefully she will always be well. I don't need to worry, because there will be many angels guarding it.

Goodbye, Kalila. May God reunite us in His heaven later.

END

© Story by: najaesthetic_

Find me on wattpad: najaesthetic_

[eitelle]

Ahh hi i hope im not too late to the event :) i would like a haikyuu matchup, any gender is fine!

Uhh, i still don't know if im intp or infp but i'm a capricorn sun, sagittarius moon and taurus rising. my pronouns are they/she

i'm 5'1, i have brown shoulder-length hair that is half bleached, and pale skin with freckles!

My favorite color is black, and my favorite food are strawberries with chocolate.

I'm an introvert, i tend to get really anxious in public spaces so i avoid going out alone lmao. When meeting new people i'm nervous at first and i don't talk much, but with friends i trust i get more confident and talk a lot more.

I think i would need someone who can listen to me, since i could talk a lot about my interests 😭

i'm always drawing, so if there is someone i like i would express my love by drawing them since i'm not good with words ✌

And i think that's it. If i am actually late just ignore this ask bc that would be embarrassing 😕🤞 have a nice day !

HI LOVE!! tbh u werent late if anything im the late one since im so late to this ask bye- its like 2 months later n i still have this im gonna kms /j

U SOUND SO PRETTY. N I LOVE UR PLACEMENTS. N I WANNA GIVE U A KITH. OOH N I LITERALLY RELATE TO U SM BYEEEE

ok so anyways ive matched you up w: miya osamu!!

ok so some hcs

he always thinks hes the forgotten twin n he lowk has trust issues from people saying “no ur my fav twin!! atsumu” so he doesnt even rly like words!!

he also expresses his emotions n love through his food so ur art will never go underappreciated with him

he also loves physical touch tho n deals w his brother and suna a lot so he knows ab introverts AND extroverts so he knows hoe to get u out of uncomfy situations ;DD

he often had to hear atsumu ramble so hes a vv good listener but he knows when to push u a lil bv he can read people vv well, yet another reason why words arent needed!!

sometimes people forget ur dating bc yall both lowk dont like pda but yall r in love so who tf cares?

he loves yalls height difference

he gets to ramble to u while u draw so u can focus on him n not any intrusive thoughts since sometimes that can cause ur hand to shake n thats the worse

he likes laying his head in ur lap

he can always read u so hes like a rock for u n hes p big n beefy so hes just like always there n thats amazing

he def like has ur art in his restaurant pls. (w consent ofc bc consent is seggsy)

idk why but i feel like yall have a shit ton of those reversible octopus plushies?? idk SJJSS

COOKING N ART DATES OH LORD😫‼️

yall r literally such a hot couple

also me n my husband by mitski (but like when u dont psychoanalyze the lyrics n take it as some cute thing) is yalls theme song i dont make the rules 🤚

u guys have promise rings WHSGSH

OK NOW ONE SHOT DRABBLE THING SJSHD

also why were the gifs all atsumu not osamu 🤨⁉️ i typed in miya osamu or sum shit like that. wow this is osamuphobic tbh 😐☝️(ps: manga timeskip spoilers ahead)

“osamu where are you taking me? dont run me into a pole babe HAHSHSHS” you giggle as your crazy boyfriend osamu miya drags a blindfolded you across the city where a rose petal and candle decorated restaurant (his restaurant) awaits with your fav food.

“ok ok i wont i swear. ok now here we are, open your eyes baby,” your boyfriend encourages.

as you open your eyes you see your favorite food in a romantic setting, completely unrecognizable as osamus restaurant and you over your mouth with your hand. “oh my god, ‘samu this is so much. what even is today? its not a anniversary right?” you question wondering how you scored such a thoughtful boyfriend.

“no its not y/n, i just thought youd like this gesture more as we havent spent as much time together :)”

“well consider this gesture appreciated i love it and i love you samu.” you say knowing how ooc it is but he deserves to hear it after all this.

“damn baby today was supposed to make you cry not me!! you ruined it >:(“ he jokes with you, teasing how flustered you got after proclaiming your love (not the first time tho might i add)

“well im sorry mr. better twin,” you tease right back.

the rest of the night is filled with laughs, smiles, love, and happiness for you and your lover.

NO BC THAT ONE WAS CUTE. ANYWAYS ARTBREEDER N THEN TEXTS!!

no artbreeder 😠 but i found this!! so... YEAH SJSHSJ

TUMBLR IS BEING N ASS AND ISNT LETTING ME PIST THIS BUT HERE U GO I HOPE U ENJOY!! (also the fish thing is osamu dropping a piece of fish on his lap picking it back up blowing on it n trying to feed it to u. thats so nasty)

[dazaily]

karasuno first years using pick-up lines on their s/o

soo.. i’ve been wanting to write a karasuno head canon for ages, and i gonna write a hc which turned into a short fic that i’ll probably never finish... so this is the replacement. enjoy!!

description: so the the karasuno boiz were playing truth and dare in their changing room. and tanaka and nishinoya had dared your bf to use a pick-up line on you. 

warnings: implied nsfw. gender neutral reader. fluffy but sprinkled with swears. i was stressed writing this. long af. not proofread. 

. ⋆ 　 *  . 　· 　  ✫  　  ⋆

hinata shoyo

i’m sorry but, did u rlly expect our lil cinnamoroll to know what’s a pick up line?

he babie 🥺❤️

n e ways, it was finally his turn on their little game of truth and dare and nishinoya had dared him to use a pick up line on you.

“a pickup line??? what’s that? will it improve my volleyball skills??”

like i said a bABIE!!

nishinoya and tanaka needs to stop tainting my bbys mind.

“udk whats a pickup line??? how did u even end up with y/n.”

nishinoya is in shock.

and then the plan commenced.

their lil game of truth and dare ended up as a lil plan on getting u hinata to use a pick up line on you.

that night, u were walking home w hinata after club activities ended.

with noya, tanaka and kageyama trailing you, but we pretend they don’t exist.

“soo,, y/n”

“sup? y u acting all weird for? ur usually rambling abt volleyball by now.. u okay?”

“hoW DO THEY KNOW?? WHAT AM I GONNA DO NOW?? THEY TOLD ME TO SOUND NATURAL BUT THEY ALR KNOWS!! uGh my senpais are watching me, i gotta do them proUD!”

hinatas mind ran at 1,000km/h, it was insane. especially for someone who doesn’t usually use their brain.

“um, uM, Y/N! CAN U HELP ME HOLD SOMETHING?!?”

confusion.

that was the only thing u felt at the moment.

i mean u were alr infront of ur house, what’s the point of holding smt when u were leaving??

“whut”

conveniently, during ur moment of confusion, the only word u could form was “what”.

“m-m-mm-mY HAND!!”

hinata screeched at ur face

...

silence. whilst noya and tanaka facepalms in the bg

it took a moment, but ur brain finally computes what ur bf just said

“pFFFFFTT,”

ur first instinct was to release the phatest snort/wheeze. shane dawson is jealous. 

“y/nnnnnn~~ stop laughinggggggg”

hinata was now suffering from crippling embarrassment, as u wouldn't stop laughing no matter how much he pleaded.

omg imagine him all blushy and shiz akdkkoaw-- ok lets not get off topic

“ok,, okay, first of all, u could've just held my hand without asking? we’re dating? you don't need my permission to do smth we do everyday?? and, more importantly, who taught u that line u just used???”

u said half wheezing, half talking, struggling to convey wtv ur trying to say to ur bf.

lucky for u, he was strangely able to understand what u were saying, and he replies with a lengthy explanation of the entire situation. 

“ooo, so that's why noya, tanaka and kageyama have been following us,,”

“hOWD U KNOW??? NOYA-SAN OUR HIDING SPOT HAVE BEEN EXPOSED!!!”

as u left to go in ur house, he stops u by holding ur hand and gives u a peck on ur forehead. 

as he separates from u, he had the biggest smile plastered on his face, brightening the entire neighbourhood.

“goodnight y/n! i love you!”

kageyama tobio

erm, lbr this man would have 0 ideas in the field of flirting.

knowing this, our lovely 2nd year duo, decide its time for them to step in and help their junior in his dating life

despite it flowing extremely smoothly w/out their intervention

n e ways, so they forced the 1st years to play truth and dare w them.

when it finally came to tobio’s turn, the unfortunate child unknowingly picks dare which causes nishinoya to spring up.

“i have the perfect dare for you.”

commencing plan...

so nishinoya dares kageyama to say a pickup line to you, but since kageyamas a big baby in disguise, he dk any pickup lines.

bet he didn't even know any pickup lines, but that's not the point. 

so, being the mastermind he is, nishinoya told kageyama a perverted pickup line.

being the clueless innocent baby he is, kageyama decides to recite the pickup line he received from noya to u outside ur class.

“hey y/n,”

“hmm?”

“do you like dragons?”

“eh? why the sudden question? i guess so?”

“cuz i can see me dragon my balls on ur face.”

processing...

.

what the fuck.

it was like god hit the pause button on earth, like literally everyone just paused for a literal second, turning their head towards kageyama, trying to figure out who tf was the brave soul who said that. 

while still in shock, kageyama just stood there confused, as he was suddenly placed in the centre of attention for no reason. o there's a reason honey, a very good one.

“why's everyone looking at me,”

with that one sentence, the world went back to normal as if someone had hit the play button all of the sudden, leaving u to deal with the weirdly awkward situation u found urself in. 

“ummm... tobio.. do u have any idea what u just said.”

“uhh yeah, a pickup line.” 

at that moment, when he said that, it hit u.

“what did they do.”

“huh, what are u talking about??”

*insert confused kags*

“nishinoya and tanaka told u to do something right?”

“r u a psychic???”

despite being amazed at ur ‘psychic powers’, he immediately explains the situation, causing u to face palm so much ur face may be concave.

there are times where u appreciate ur dumbass bf being a ignorant qt, but times like this makes u wish he was a tad bit smarter.. 

debating ur options, u decided to explain the meaning of the pickup line he just used on u in public.

once hearing and understanding the meaning of the pickup line he used on u, his face lit up like a matchstick, shining bright red, stuttering madly, struggling to get even a word out.

“oh, um, well, im sorry for saying smtg so indecent to u in public, um ill make it up to u somehow,”

understanding him was a struggle due to the severe stuttering he was suffering from, but u managed somehow.

“nahhh, its cool, i should go lecture nishinoya for corrupting my precious baby though~~”

“b-b-b-bABY!?!?”

“hehe, yes ur my baby <3″

tsukishima kei

ugh this salty ass mfcker

honestly can't imagine him being forced into using a pickup line on his s/o

cuz, despite hw much we try to deny it, he is one smart mfcker,,,

but i think he would be curious how his s/o will react, so he would do it on his own will anyways.

umm, so this is how the situation went down.

it was another boring day, and the 2nd year duo was having none of that and decided too ensue a game of truth and dare with the 1st years.

this was how the c h a o s started.

he was trying to leave the game discreetly before he had to sell his soul to the devil. 

unfortunately for him, lady luck was not on his side, as he was chosen to do the next dare. 

“but wait a fucking minute, when the fuck did this become a game of dare or dare, when tf did freedom of choice decide to fuck off like that?”

plot convenience

so he was forced into a dare. 

the moment of dread came when tanaka stood up shouting he had a brilliant idea. and it all went downhill from there.

so tanaka dared tsukki to use a pickup line on his s/o. and his first reaction was no. 

“o come on, u never do anything romantic, i bet u haven't even held hands, sometimes i wonder how y/n’s still with u.”

“says the person who has never dated.”

tanaka shut ups. 

so somehow, he managed to get himself out of the situation. 

later that night, he couldn't stop thinking about pickup lines. he almost spent the whole night thinking about ur reaction. cuz volleyball is just a club, am i right..

he decided to use a pickup line on u tmrw, just to see ur reaction, not like he wants to use one, lmao that's lame, haha. a fucking tsundere.

the next day, during lunch, he left yams with the 1st year duo to go find u.

when he saw u, he immediately calls u. 

“hey, where's yams, u didn't tell me u wanted to eat with me today,”

“nah, i just had something to tell u.”

at this moment, tsukishimas heart was beating faster than ushijimas spikes.

“you know if u think about it we never stop tasting our tongues.”

“hmm, now that u said it ye--”

“how bout i taste urs for a change.”

since it was so unexpected, u had no idea how to react. 

as u returned to reality, u notice a slight pink on his cheeks.

u were gonna come back with a snarky comment, since it was rare he was so vulnerable(?) 

but ur plans were ruined when he glanced at u making eye contact, to check ur reaction. 

ur face bursts into the brightest red, hes ever seen. 

seeing ur extremely delayed reaction, he lets out a laugh, but immediately recollects himself. 

“it was a dare from tanaka.”

you were still bright red, but u felt the blush on ur face reducing after hearing the reasoning behind the line. 

“oh, haha, i was wondering what's up”

u said slightly dejectedly. 

he felt like he was just punched in the gut by guilt. 

“i was also curious about ur reaction, and i am satisfied to say the least.”

he leans down to ur height to whisper in ur ear, before initiating the kiss. 

ur blush returns almost immediately as u returned the kiss.

since yall were in school, he separed from the kiss after a few seconds. this is a place for knowledge, y'all nasties.

“welp, bye loser,”

after the kiss, he immediately return to yamaguchi, leaving u alone with ur thoughts. trying to escape from embarrassment.

he may be equal to the condiment on ur kitchen cupboard, but he still tries to make u happy, so appreaciate him and his efforts <3

yamaguchi tadashi

a babie uwuwuwu

pickup line what's that? hehe omf he's so cute

so how this about to go down. 

so truth and dare bla bla bla... ive written this exact thing 3 times please excuse my behaviour.

since he was bored, yamaguchi forced tsukki to join in on the fun together, a decision he would regret. 

soon it became yamaguchi’s turn, and everyone turned quiet due to the lack of dares they had or yamaguchi.

that was until the one and only nishinoya stood up. 

“hEY, u have a s/o right, how about u use a cheesy pickup line on her!!” *eyebrow raise*

while processing what nishinoya just said, yamaguchi’s face morphed into one of dread and fear, as he turns his head to tsukishima for help.

“u dragged us into this mess, i aint helping u.”

and there goes his only help, well it was his fault in the first place dragging him and his best friend into this mess. tsukishima u tsundere.

yamaguchi was on the verge of tears, thinking of excuses and ways he could get out of the god forbidden situation he brought upon himself. 

but the only thing he could think of was the worst case scenario, which was u breaking up with him.

looking at his senpais, he slowly faces the fact that there's no escape and accepts his fate. 

if this is the cause of the end of ur relationship together, it just means the gods don't want y'all together.

“idk any pickup lines....” 

this was his last attempt of escaping as he bids ur relationship farewell, already aware it was not gonna work. 

“thiS IS WHERE I COME IN, don't worry yamaguchi i am the encyclopaedia of pickup lines.”

ofc his senpais would know the cheesiest lines on the surface of this earth. despite insisting the earth is flat.

and so the dreadful event began. 

after school ended, otw to his club, he met up with u. with his senpais trailing behind stalking y'all, to see ur reaction.

“ugh out of all the pickup lines, they had to make me use the most overused one... im gonna cry,,, y/n i hope u don't leave me after this.”

well here goes nothing...

“hey y/n,,” extreme stutters that im too lazy to type out.

“hmm?”

“k-k-kiss me if im wrong,,, b-but dinosaurs still exist right?”

before he could even cringe at himself, u gave him a peck on his lips while smirking afterwards. 

yamaguchi proceeds to poof into redness after processing what had just happen, as u laugh maniacally in the background.

“u could've just asked for one, and tsukishima already told me everything so u don't need to explain,"

yamaguchi did not have the brain power to comprehend the situation at hand, as he was still affected from the kiss from earlier.

“i can't believe u think i would breakup with u because of something so trivial.. im kinda upset..”

finally coming back to reality, yamaguchi finally realises the situation he's in. 

“o-oh, i didn't mean to make it seem like i didn't believe in our relationship, its just that w--”

he gets cut off by u kissing him again.

when u separate, u began to laugh again. 

“hAHAHHA, ikik, i was just joking around, don't worry ill love u no matter what, now off u go to ur club ill see u tmrw.”

not knowing what to do or how to react, yamaguchi felt the need to do smtg before u left. 

“i love u, ill call u later tonight!”