#doubt being a tool for understanding and compassion and forgiveness and acceptance and
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istayawakereading · 1 year ago
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Kristen saying “Doubt has given me so much relief,” the montage of everyone outside of the briefcase scrambling to make things ok again (Sandra Lynn trying to save Lydia, Aelwyn desperately casting spells to help them) and then Cassandra hitting us with “If you remember me, I cannot be fully gone” was actually too much for me to emotionally handle, thanks 🫶
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gatewayofhealing92 · 1 year ago
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Mindfulness & Personal Evolution: The Journey to Authenticity
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Ever feel like you're playing a part in life's grand theater, but the script doesn't quite resonate? It's a common yearning, this desire to shed layers, step out of the shadows, and truly shine as our authentic selves. And guess what? There's a path paved with mindfulness and potent tools that can guide you on this exciting journey of personal evolution.
Hold on, though, before diving headfirst into life-altering transformations. This isn't about becoming someone "new" (unless that someone is simply a more genuine version of you!). It's about shedding limiting beliefs, assuming your true essence, and radiating authenticity from within. And that, my friend, is where mindfulness comes in.
Mindfulness: Your Introspective GPS
Think of mindfulness as your personal GPS for navigating the vast landscape of the self. You become attuned to your thoughts, emotions, and impulses without judgment by cultivating present-moment awareness. This allows you to:
Recognize conditioned patterns It's important to be aware of the conditioned patterns that may be hindering your personal growth and success. These patterns could be in the form of automatic behaviors, self-imposed limitations, and emotional triggers that are deeply ingrained in your psyche. Identifying and recognizing these patterns is the first step towards breaking free from their grip and achieving your full potential.
Make conscious choices By making conscious choices, you are able to avoid being overwhelmed by reactive impulses and instead, make decisions that are in line with your authentic self. This involves being intentional and thoughtful about your actions, and taking steps to ensure that your choices reflect your values and priorities. By doing so, you can lead a more fulfilling and purposeful life.
Welcome self-compassion To nurture an untroubled and accepting state of mind, it's crucial to abandon the habit of criticizing oneself and adopt self-compassion instead. Treating oneself with kindness and understanding assists in fostering a gentle and forgiving attitude towards oneself, which can have a significant impact on one's overall well-being.
Unveiling Your Authentic Tapestry
Just picture this for a moment - what if you could combine the incredible power of mindfulness with a range of amazing tools like Life Coaching, Money Coaching & Abundance Coaching, Relationship Coaching, Law of Attraction Coaching, Mindset Coaching, Aura Scans & Aura Cleansing, and Color Therapy?
At Gateway of Healing, we offer an incredible array of services that will help you on your transformational journey, each thread adding a unique and vibrant layer to the tapestry of your life. Let us empower you to become the best version of yourself!
Life Coaching Your personal guide, helping you unearth your values, goals, and deepest desires. It's like having a cheerleader and strategic advisor in one, holding you accountable and celebrating your victories.
Money Coaching Unraveling limiting beliefs around money and abundance, and creating a mindset of financial freedom. Imagine attracting prosperity while aligning it with your authentic values.
Relationship Coaching Steering through the complexities of love, communication, and healthy boundaries. This isn't just about romantic relationships; it's about cultivating healthy dynamics in all aspects of your life.
Law of Attraction Coaching Harnessing the power of your thoughts and intentions to attract your desires. Understand the principles of manifestation and learn to cultivate positive energy for abundance in all areas.
Mindset Coaching Reprogramming limiting beliefs for a growth mindset. This is where you challenge self-doubt, welcome challenges, and step into your full potential.
Aura Scans & Cleansing Gaining insights into your energy field and releasing blocked emotions. Think of it as a spiritual spring cleaning, clearing the way for your authentic light to shine through.
Color Therapy Harnessing the power of color to influence your mood, emotions, and well-being. Surround yourself with energizing colors or use specific hues to promote relaxation and balance.
Remember, personal evolution is a journey, not a destination. It's a continuous process of exploration, self-discovery, and adopting your authenticity. At Gateway of Healing, we walk alongside you, offering guidance, tools, and a supportive community to empower your transformation.
Ready To Venture On Your Adventure? 4 Tips To Get You Started
Start small Pick one area you'd like to explore, like mindfulness practice or a specific coaching program. Consistency is key, so begin with manageable steps.
Adopt self-compassion Be kind to yourself on this journey. There will be ups and downs, and that's okay. Celebrate your progress, big and small.
Find your support system Surround yourself with positive, encouraging people who believe in your journey. Connect with our community or find like-minded individuals who share your path.
Trust the process Allow yourself to evolve and change at your own pace. This is a journey of self-discovery, not a race.
At Gateway of Healing, we believe that everyone has the potential to live a life of authenticity and fulfillment. With mindfulness as your compass and powerful tools at your disposal, you can steer through the journey of personal evolution and shine your brightest light. Remember, you are already enough, but there's an even more magnificent version of you waiting to be discovered.
Let's venture on this adventure together! P.S. Don't forget to explore the wealth of resources and articles on our website. We have something for everyone seeking guidance on their path to self-discovery and authenticity.
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wilbycoles · 29 days ago
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May 24
Identity theft is a concern for everyone online, especially after all the data breaches releasing personally identifiable information such as passwords, social security numbers, addresses, and credit card numbers. It is also an issue that Christians have to deal with in the spiritual realm.
Online identity-theft involves the bad guys learning enough of your information to assume your identity and steal your resources.
They try to find and trick information from any source they can, leaving you alone and unaware, ignorant of what is going on, while they proceed to visit banks and merchants who have what they want and convince them that, based on your reputation and credit report, there is no harm in sending merchandise and money to a different address.
God's people have to deal with His enemy convincing THEM that they are NOT who God declares them to be, and therefore have no right to all of the Spirit's richest resources of strength and power and love and forgiveness, the privileges of right-standing with God such as immediate access to His presence and the assurance of our requests being heard and answered, His anointing to save, heal, and deliver, the roadside benefits of legions of heaven's angels to rescue and defend us when attacked or needing help along our journey.
Psalm 143:2 Do not bring Your servant into judgment, for no one living is righteous before You.
God's enemy, our enemy, cannot use the riches that God has assigned and attributed to us; all he wants to do is keep us from using them for ourselves and for others, to further God's kingdom, and his only tools are lies and half-truths designed to generate fear, intimidation, doubt, condemnation.
"You haven't felt God's presence yet today - " perhaps true "- because God is too busy for your little worries." completely false, but matches our natural limits which we project on to God until the Word and Spirit reveal the depth of His love
"What right do you have to approach such a holy God?" never give attention to a question the enemy asks, for he frames it to his advantage
"That sin you committed cuts you off from God - " no one knows that better than the devil " - so you should just give up and quit trying." as long as I get up one time more than I fall down, I have endured, and have God's victory.
Go to the Scriptures and study who you are, learn who you are, remember who you are.
Not the the identity the world assigns you, not the caricature held up to you by God's enemy, not the patchwork crazy-quilt of memories you retain from childhood, but the truthful, honest, loving, eternal description in the Word of God that declares you are His beloved, for only God searches the heart, and only God does not lie.
Psalms 143 v.8 Let the morning bring me word of Your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in You. Show me the way I should go, for to You I lift up my soul. v.9 Rescue me from my enemies, O Lord, for I hide myself in You. v.10 Teach me to do Your will, for You are my God; may Your good Spirit lead me on level ground. v.11 For Your name's sake, O Lord, preserve my life; in Your righteousness, bring me out of trouble. v.12 In Your unfailing love, silence my enemies; destroy all my foes, for I am Your servant.
Beloved and loving Lord, You speak truth to us, even when it is truth too wonderful for us to comprehend.
You love us, and while we daily grow into a greater understanding of that, we accept it where we stand and let it soak into our hearts and let it echo back to You as we give voice to our thanks and praise of Your eternal lovingkindness.
Thank You for helping us stand firm on Your word and fling off the attacks of the enemy.
Thank You that You proclaim us priests and kings and assign us tasks in which we can serve.
In You we have our identity, and in You we are useful and productive.
Zechariah 7 v.9 This is what the Lord Almighty says: 'Administer true justice; show mercy and compassion to one another. v.10 Do not oppress the widow or the fatherless, the alien or the poor. In your hearts do not think evil of each other.
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drkarenhawk · 4 months ago
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Dr Karen Hawk Psychologist ’s Therapy for Overcoming Imposter Syndrome
Imposter syndrome is a psychological pattern in which an individual doubts their accomplishments, fearing they will be exposed as a “fraud.” Despite evidence of competence, individuals experiencing imposter syndrome feel they don’t deserve their success or recognition. It can cause immense stress, self-doubt, and anxiety, affecting not only professional performance but also personal well-being. Dr Karen Hawk Psychologist , a skilled psychologist based in Phoenix, Arizona, specializes in helping individuals overcome imposter syndrome through compassionate therapy, practical techniques, and personalized strategies.
Understanding Imposter Syndrome
Imposter syndrome is common among high achievers, perfectionists, and those in competitive environments. Often, it manifests as an overwhelming sense of inadequacy, even when success is achieved. Individuals suffering from imposter syndrome often believe that their accomplishments are a result of luck, timing, or external factors rather than their own skills or abilities. This persistent self-doubt can lead to burnout, stress, and anxiety.
Dr Karen Hawk Psychologist  approach to treating imposter syndrome begins with helping clients understand the roots of these feelings. She explains that imposter syndrome often arises from early childhood experiences, societal pressures, or unrealistic expectations placed on oneself. By understanding the triggers and patterns behind imposter feelings, individuals can begin to break free from the cycle of self-doubt and start recognizing their own worth.
Identifying the Signs of Imposter Syndrome
Recognizing the signs of imposter syndrome is the first step in overcoming it. Dr Karen Hawk Psychologist  works with clients to identify the patterns of thought and behavior that are characteristic of imposter syndrome. Some common signs include:
Feeling like a “fraud” or that success is undeserved.
Overworking to avoid being “found out” or exposed.
Setting excessively high standards and being critical of oneself.
Dismissing accomplishments or attributing them to external factors like luck.
Anxiety about being evaluated or criticized by others.
In therapy, Dr. Hawk helps clients pinpoint these signs and understand how they manifest in their daily lives. By acknowledging the presence of imposter syndrome, clients can start to develop strategies for addressing these thoughts and behaviors in a healthy, constructive way.
The Role of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy in Treating Imposter Syndrome
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is one of the most effective therapeutic techniques for treating imposter syndrome. Dr Karen Hawk Psychologist  often utilizes CBT to help clients identify and challenge the negative thought patterns that contribute to feelings of inadequacy. For example, an individual might think, “I only got this job because I was lucky,” or “If people really knew how much I don’t know, they’d fire me.” These thoughts are irrational and not supported by reality.
Through CBT, Dr. Hawk works with clients to examine the evidence for and against these negative thoughts. She helps clients learn to replace self-critical thinking with more balanced, accurate assessments of their abilities and achievements. CBT encourages individuals to recognize cognitive distortions such as all-or-nothing thinking, catastrophizing, and overgeneralization—patterns that often fuel imposter syndrome.
Building Self-Compassion and Acceptance
One of the most powerful tools in overcoming imposter syndrome is cultivating self-compassion. Dr Karen Hawk Psychologist  helps clients develop a kinder, more forgiving relationship with themselves. Many individuals with imposter syndrome hold themselves to extremely high standards, believing they must be perfect in every aspect of their lives. Dr. Hawk works to shift this mindset, encouraging clients to embrace their humanity and recognize that making mistakes or asking for help is not a sign of weakness but rather a normal part of growth.
Through mindfulness practices, positive affirmations, and exercises that promote self-compassion, Dr. Hawk helps individuals learn to treat themselves with the same kindness and understanding they would offer to a friend. Self-compassion is a crucial aspect of overcoming imposter syndrome because it allows individuals to acknowledge their achievements without fear of judgment or failure.
Strengthening Self-Esteem and Confidence
Low self-esteem is often a central component of imposter syndrome. People who struggle with this condition often don’t believe they deserve their success, which prevents them from feeling truly confident in their abilities. Dr Karen Hawk Psychologist  helps clients build stronger self-esteem by recognizing their unique strengths, talents, and contributions. Therapy focuses on identifying the positive qualities that may have been overshadowed by feelings of self-doubt and teaching clients to embrace their accomplishments.
Dr. Hawk encourages individuals to set realistic goals that align with their values and aspirations. By achieving small, incremental goals and celebrating progress, clients can gradually build confidence in their abilities. Additionally, learning to accept and appreciate one’s imperfections fosters greater self-assurance. As clients work on strengthening their self-esteem, they begin to internalize their worth and recognize that they deserve success.
Reframing Failure and Embracing Growth
Imposter syndrome often leads individuals to fear failure, as they believe any mistake or setback will expose them as inadequate. Dr Karen Hawk Psychologist  works with clients to reframe their relationship with failure, encouraging them to view it as an opportunity for growth rather than as a reflection of their worth. In therapy, clients learn that failure is an essential part of the learning process and that mistakes do not define who they are.
Through cognitive restructuring techniques, Dr. Hawk helps clients challenge the belief that they must be perfect in every aspect of their lives. Instead of seeing failure as a threat, individuals are encouraged to view challenges as chances to learn, improve, and grow. This shift in perspective can significantly reduce the anxiety and fear associated with imposter syndrome.
Setting Realistic Expectations
One of the key factors contributing to imposter syndrome is the tendency to set unrealistic expectations for oneself. Dr Karen Hawk Psychologist  works with clients to develop more balanced, realistic goals. Perfectionism often drives individuals to push themselves beyond their limits, leading to burnout and feelings of inadequacy when they inevitably fall short of impossible standards.
In therapy, Dr. Hawk helps individuals redefine success and set achievable, meaningful goals. She encourages clients to focus on the process rather than the outcome and to celebrate their progress along the way. By learning to set healthy expectations and manage perfectionistic tendencies, clients can reduce the pressure they place on themselves and embrace a more sustainable approach to achievement.
Moving Forward with Confidence
Overcoming imposter syndrome is a journey that requires patience, self-awareness, and commitment. With the support of Dr Karen Hawk Psychologist , individuals can begin to break free from the crippling effects of self-doubt and embrace their true worth. Through therapy, individuals can develop a healthier relationship with themselves, strengthen their confidence, and learn to accept their accomplishments without fear of being exposed as a “fraud.”
Dr Karen Hawk Psychologist expertise in addressing imposter syndrome helps individuals reclaim their sense of self and move forward with confidence. Whether in the workplace or in personal relationships, Dr. Hawk’s counseling provides the tools needed to overcome the barriers created by imposter syndrome, allowing clients to step into their full potential.
Conclusion: Embrace Your Success with Dr. Karen Hawk Support
Imposter syndrome can be a debilitating force in one’s life, but it doesn’t have to define you. With the help of Dr. Karen Hawk, a trusted psychologist in Phoenix, Arizona, individuals can learn to recognize their true value and embrace their success with pride. Therapy provides the space to challenge negative thoughts, develop self-compassion, and build confidence, leading to a more fulfilling and empowered life. If you’re ready to overcome imposter syndrome and unlock your full potential, Dr. Hawk’s compassionate therapy is the first step toward healing and growth.
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spice2yurlife46 · 2 years ago
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In today's fast-paced and demanding world, we often find ourselves caught up in the whirlwind of external expectations and societal pressures. In the pursuit of success, happiness, and validation, we tend to neglect the most important relationship we have—the one with ourselves. Self-love, an essential and transformative concept, holds the key to unlocking our true potential and experiencing profound personal fulfillment. In this blog post, we will explore the significance of self-love, its benefits, and practical strategies to cultivate a deeper sense of self-acceptance and compassion.
Understanding Self-Love:
Self-love encompasses a genuine and unconditional regard for oneself, embracing all aspects—strengths, weaknesses, and imperfections. It goes beyond mere vanity or self-indulgence and involves nurturing a positive relationship with our thoughts, emotions, and bodies. Self-love is not about being selfish but rather about recognizing our inherent worth and treating ourselves with kindness, compassion, and respect.
The Benefits of Self-Love:
1. Improved Mental Well-being: Self-love is a powerful tool in combating negative self-talk, self-doubt, and low self-esteem. By developing a strong sense of self-worth, we can enhance our mental well-being and cultivate a positive mindset, leading to reduced stress, anxiety, and depression.
2. Authentic Relationships: When we love ourselves, we attract healthier and more fulfilling relationships. By setting boundaries, honoring our needs, and valuing our own worth, we create space for others who appreciate and reciprocate that love, fostering deeper connections based on mutual respect and support.
3. Increased Self-Confidence: Self-love empowers us to embrace our unique qualities and celebrate our achievements. As we learn to trust ourselves and our abilities, our confidence naturally grows, enabling us to pursue our goals with determination and resilience.
4. Emotional Resilience: Loving ourselves unconditionally equips us with the tools to navigate life's challenges more effectively. By cultivating self-compassion, we develop greater emotional resilience, enabling us to bounce back from setbacks and practice self-care during difficult times.
Cultivating Self-Love:
1. Practice Self-Compassion: Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would extend to a dear friend. Embrace self-compassion by acknowledging your struggles, forgiving your mistakes, and offering yourself gentle words of encouragement.
2. Prioritize Self-Care: Make self-care a non-negotiable part of your routine. Engage in activities that nourish your mind, body, and soul, whether it's indulging in a relaxing bath, taking a walk in nature, or practicing meditation. Remember, self-care is not a luxury; it's a necessity.
3. Challenge Self-Limiting Beliefs: Identify and challenge the negative beliefs and self-limiting narratives that hold you back. Replace them with positive affirmations and empowering thoughts that align with your true potential.
4. Set Boundaries: Learn to say "no" when necessary and establish healthy boundaries that honor your needs and values. Surround yourself with individuals who uplift and support you on your journey to self-love.
5. Embrace Authenticity: Embrace your unique qualities, quirks, and imperfections. Celebrate your individuality and let go of the need to conform to societal expectations. Embracing your authentic self is a powerful act of self-love.
Self-love is not an overnight transformation but rather a lifelong journey of self-discovery and acceptance. By practicing self-love, we embark on a path towards personal fulfillment, happiness, and inner peace. Remember, you are deserving of love and compassion, and by embracing the power of self-love, you can transform your life and radiate that love to others. Start today—nurture the most important relationship you have—the one with yoursel
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vairagy · 2 years ago
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8 Signs You Haven't Forgiven Yourself and Steps to Embrace Self-Forgiveness
Forgiving oneself is a profound act of self-compassion and personal growth, but it's a journey that can be laden with obstacles. Lingering guilt, self-doubt, and negative self-perceptions can weigh heavily, preventing us from fully embracing our present and future. In this blog, we'll delve into the eight common signs that may indicate you haven't yet forgiven yourself, along with practical steps to ignite the transformative process of self-forgiveness and healing.
1. Lingering Guilt:
Persistent guilt and shame over past actions, coupled with incessantly replaying these scenarios in your mind, may signify a reluctance to grant yourself forgiveness. These mental loops can hinder your ability to break free from the shackles of the past.This further trigger self punishment
2. Self-Punishment:
Engaging in self-destructive behaviors, like excessive drinking, can be a form of self-punishment for perceived mistakes. Recognizing these actions is the initial step toward embracing self-compassion.
3. Negative Self-Image:
Focusing solely on past failures while dismissing your achievements and positive qualities is indicative of an unresolved self-forgiveness. Reframe your perspective to acknowledge your inherent worthiness.
4. Inability to Move Forward:
Dwelling on missed opportunities or past blunders can impede personal growth and prevent you from embracing new experiences. By staying fixated on the past, you limit your potential for a fulfilling future.
5. Emotional Distress:
Unforgiveness towards oneself can lead to intense emotional distress, manifesting as anxiety, depression, or persistent sadness. These emotional burdens arise from fixating on past actions and blaming oneself for the ensuing consequences.
6. Persistent Self-Judgment:
Subjecting yourself to relentless self-criticism and setting impossibly high standards is a hallmark of unforgiveness. Break free from this cycle by fostering self-compassion and adopting a more balanced view of your capabilities.
7. Difficulty Accepting Love and Support:
Struggling to accept love, kindness, or support from others can stem from unresolved self-forgiveness. Dismiss notions of being undeserving and allow yourself to receive the care you truly merit.
8. Avoidance of Self-Care:
Neglecting self-care, whether physical or emotional, due to feelings of unworthiness is a clear sign of lingering unforgiveness. Prioritize self-nurturing to demonstrate your commitment to healing.
 Steps to Initiate Self-Forgiveness:
During my practice sessions, I frequently observe the mentioned characteristics above. By utilizing practical tools and various transformative techniques, a noticeable change occurs, and individuals learn to embrace their emotions. Other steps to initiate forgivieness are:
1. Self Compassion: Self compassion is validating your emotions and granting yourself permission to feel them without judgment.
2. Practice Self-Compassion: Extend kindness and understanding toward yourself, treating your inner dialogue with the gentleness you would offer a cherished friend.
3. Take Responsibility: Acknowledge past mistakes without dwelling on them, taking ownership of your actions and their consequences.
4. Learn and Grow: Transform your past experiences into opportunities for personal growth, applying the insights gained to your future choices.
5. Make Amends: When feasible, take steps to rectify past wrongs through sincere apologies or actions.
6. Shift Your Perspective: Challenge self-limiting beliefs and emphasize your strengths and accomplishments alongside your missteps.
7. Seek Professional Support: Engage with qualified Life coaches, therapists or trusted individuals to guide you through the intricate process of self-forgiveness.
8. Contemplation /Meditation: Employ contemplative techniques, such as meditation to stay present and minimize rumination.
From my professional experience, self-forgiveness is an ongoing journey that unfolds at its own pace. The above steps is an initial step to self forgiveness, exercise patience and commitment as you traverse the path of healing and growth. By recognizing the signs of unforgiveness and embarking on the transformative steps outlined here, you embark on a profound voyage toward self-acceptance and a brighter future filled with compassion and self-love.
About "Vivian Tucker, a Certified Life Coach and entrepreneur, offers a distinctive approach derived from her coaching practice. Committed to empowering clients through practical guidance and emotional support, she guides individuals in conquering challenges and embracing genuine living. Embark on a transformative self-discovery and growth journey with Vivian at viviantucker.com."
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aurabird · 4 years ago
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To Seek Redemption
So this is based off of something my braincell that desires fluff came up with.
Something happens that causes the Hels!Hermits to become helpful, caring, and empathetic like their counterparts. No more hierarchy and anarchy, no more bloodshed and violence, just pure, familial energy and fluff. Basically, they all obtain morals and eventually the line between Hermit and Helsmit is no more.
This relies strongly on headcannons and things regarding Helsmit/Hermit first encounters are left vague on purpose for the reader to fill in because I don’t want to step on anyone’s toes :3
No major TWs, just mentions of violence, blood, and injuries.
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The Hels Dimension was a brutal place, an eternal battleground where anarchy was the norm and the hierarchy brutal. The denizens of this dimension said to be the worst traits of their Overworld counterparts incarnated or their best traits without any moral boundaries.
Those that lived within Hermitcraft’s Hels Dimension; Helscraft as they’d become to be called, referred to themselves as Helsmits as they sought to not only overpower each other, but also make the lives of their other halves miserable.
Of course, not every Helsmit was a monster, some were simply pranksters, simply finding enjoyment in teasing their counterparts because the reactions amused them; nuisances that just wouldn’t go away.
But, despite all of this, how would players such as the Helsmits react…when everything they knew, all the violence they partook in, just went away? Was replaced by feelings they didn’t understand or hated?
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The time-dilation known as lag was not a new concept to the denizens of Helscraft; after all, several of them used the enigmatic force as a weapon or safeguard for their territory, slowing down any would-be usurpers enough to gain an upper hand.
What WAS new, however, was that this time, lag stopped their world completely. No one moved, no one spoke; for only a few moments all was still…
…until it wasn’t.
When the world began to move again the Helsmits knew something had changed, feelings of vengeance and hatred were gone, replaced by emotions they did not understand; that some of them even despised. Empathy, compassion, the desire for familial companionship.
Those locked in combat sheathed their weapons, taking steps back from each other before apologizing. Those that kept themselves locked in impenetrable fortresses left their isolation and sought out the Helsmit nearest to them to simply talk and for comfort due to their isolation. Those that had gotten the last of their territory stolen from them had it returned.
And those that sought power within the hierarchy? Well, who said that having friends didn’t count as power?
Traps set up to kill and torment were disabled, and selfishly-hoarded resources distributed to those with few or none.
It was difficult at first to come to grasps with the sudden morals and emotions they'd acquired, for some, the phrase of “I hate being nice” became popular, being uttered by several of them defeatedly when they attempted to be anything but friendly to each other.
But eventually the Helsmits grew used to their new emotions, enjoyed them even. Sure they were all still competitive with each other, that was a trait no strange force could change, but now it was more friendly and lighthearted. Some even tried to act like the 'evil counterparts' they'd once been in a joking manner.
The Hesmits knew that things had changed, that their old ways of life were now gone.
They'd all gathered at their Town Hall, the first building they'd made since they'd all become friends, looking upon a portal with nervousness and uncertainty. Not a portal to the Nether, nor a portal to the End. No, this portal was to the Overworld.
It'd been Helskinght that discovered how to conjure the gateway, the purple swirls framed by blocks of crying obsidian. At one point this structure had been fought over and the land around it once stained crimson with Helsmit blood.
The area had been completely terraformed since then, making this location both a reminder of the past and the present. None of them had their weapons or tools, just the clothes on their backs, food, and basic building blocks. After all, they'd come here for one reason alone.
Now that they’d mended the conflicts that had once divided them, perhaps it was time to do the same with those that saw them as nothing but evil interlopers seeking to cause only destruction and misery.
Yes, it was time to ask their overworld counterparts, the Hermits, for forgiveness. The final step they'd all need to reach complete redemption.
"You think they'll accept it after everything some of us have done?" asked someone from the gathered crowd, "We've been silent for so long too, how do you think they'll react to us all coming at the same time?"
The two questions had no definite answers, as only a few Helsmits had even interacted with their overworld counterparts. Then again, those that had awful experiences no doubt spread the seeds of distrust throughout the entirety of Hermitcraft.
A Helsmit in ebony-plated armor and wearing a helmet sighed. Since the reforming of their society Helsuma had been the appointed the Admin of Helscraft, though unlike his counterpart, he lacked the powers that came with said title.
"There is only one way to find out." he said with uncertain confidence before taking his first steps through the passage, his fellow Helsmits following not far behind.
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Their arrival on the main street of the Cowmercial District was met with mixed reactions. Fear, disdain, and confusion the most common but surprise could also be seen on the faces of some Hermits.
Those that knew their Helscraft counterparts had drawn their swords and bows, netherite blades and enchanted arrows aimed directly at them, ready to strike at the slightest sign of aggression.
It was Xisuma that broke the silent tension, his calm, accented voice holding the strength of a leader as he addressed the crowd before him. “Well, this is definitely a surprise.” he said as he took a few steps forward, taking note of the fact some of the newcomers flinched or tensed up at his advance. “I didn’t expect all of you to show up at once, let alone completely unarmed.”
The person who then walked out from the crowd of Helsmits was a surprise to the overworld Admin. Every Hermit supposedly had a counterpart of their own in Helscraft, but X hadn’t exactly been ready to meet his.
Features and attire were identical to his own, though their skin was marred with horrible scars and their black-plated armor boasted several gashes; fiery-orange eyes far more exhausted than his own violet ones shone with desperation.
“Careful, X.” Wels warned with a growl, cerulean gaze narrowed and locked with the red one of Helsknight, “They aren’t to be trusted.”
If the silver-armored knight had seen the hurt in Hels’ expression at those words, he didn’t react to it.
X ignored the given warning and faced his counterpart without fear or hesitation, “What brings you all to the Overworld like this? Clearly it isn’t an invasion.”
Helsuma spoke, his voice simply a deeper, more rough version of X’s. “We…we all…we all wish to ask forgiveness.” he struggled to say before looking behind him at his fellow Helsmits, “Those of us that you know the actions of more than others.”
“Why the change of heart?” came a Hermit’s confused but sharp tone as they gazed upon one that looked almost exactly like they did, no doubt remembering bitterly what their first meeting with their counterpart was like.
“Honestly, we have no idea.” came a voice from the Helsmits, “Everything just…stopped one day, like lag but for longer than a few seconds. After that, well, some of us noticed that we felt emotions alien to us, urges to be…friends, not enemies or rivals; to share and not take.”
“You learned what morals are? I find that hard to believe.”
At the comment Hels turned his head to Wels, arms crossed “Whether you believe it or not, if we sought to invade the overworld for malicious goals today, we would have done so already.”
Grian, surprisingly, was the one that came to the dark knight’s defense “You know, Wels, not all of them are incarnations of our evil.” he commented from his place on steps to the Town Hall. “Take Xelqua, my counterpart for example.“ he began, motioning to the Helsmit that was a splitting image of him save a pair of purple wings that sparkled with stars; the cloak around them bearing a strange symbol, “He’s the one that was mixing up the stuff in your guy’s sorting systems and renaming all your diamonds!”
Mumbo shot the man a look, “Seriously mate? You interacted on a friendly level with your counterpart as opposed to some of us and didn’t think to tell anyone of it?”
“Uh...no. Kinda slipped my mind actually.”
Scar spoke next, having spotted BadTimes in the center of the group; the skeletal vex wings protruding from their back a sign of the part of himself he’d cast away when he decided to reject the control of the chaotic fae he’d once been bound to. “Well, I for one believe in second chances.” he said with a grin, noticing the eyes of several Helsmits light up, “Sure it may take time for us to all trust each other but if they are counterparts of us and we’re Hermits, what’s to say they can’t be too?”
“Scar is right!” chimed Zedaph, “Look at Exy! He was all scary and stuff and he ended up being nice in the end!”
The streets were silent once more as Hermit and Helsmit alike looked at Xisuma, awaiting the verdict of the situation. The Admin thought hard about the dilemma he was faced with. His fellow Hermits all made good points and, when given proof, X was one to forgive.
He saw the looks in the eyes of their counterparts; fear, desperation, hope. He’d made the mistake of condemning his brother to the banvoid, and though they’d made up since then, it didn’t change the fact that he’d left Ex alone, abandoned, and scared when all the man had needed was guidance.
No, he could not simply turn them away, he couldn’t send them back to their dimension and find a way to seal them in there forever.
“I do not speak for all the Hermits, especially given the history some of you have with them.” he began, “However, I am willing to give you all a chance. Do not make me regret my decision.”
------
The rules Xisuma had applied to them were simple and the Admin had made it perfectly clear that they’d all be watched closely, both by him and the Hermits they interacted with.
For some, it was easy to befriend their counterparts, alike in many ways, yet still different enough to be their own person. Others had a more difficult time, uneasy truces and silent tension sparking between them.
But, time heals all wounds, and the line that separated Hermits and Helsmits eventually disappeared. Denizens of both the Overworld and Helscraft began to come and go between their realms freely, taking ideas and inspirations from each other, playing minigames as if they’d all been friends from the beginning.
Getting to the End was impossible from Helscraft, so the Helsmits had always secretly been baffled by the silvery wings that allowed their counterparts to fly around. With the befriending of each other, however, they were being taught through trial and error (mostly error, actually) how they worked and the freedom that came with Elytra flight.
It wasn’t uncommon now for the trio of team ZIT to be seen planning crazy ideas with their counterparts and teasing each other, unsurprisingly both Grian and Xelqua managed to start yet another war, and the silent chaos of shenanigans from Etho and his counterpart were never discovered until it was too late.
False and True could often be seen sparring, as could Wels and Hels; though the duo of knights usually did so through both physical combat and song.
Scar and Cub would be seen working on projects with their counterparts, laughing and remembering the times when they were once one in the same, but yet still glad to be their own individual players.
Bdubs and his phantom-featured counterpart would sometimes argue over who was the fastest of them to get to sleep ("And how are you faster? Last I checked beds blow up in Hels ya stupid!" "Not since X gave Helsuma Admin powers they haven't ya fool!"), though neither of them would win because someone else would sleep away the night while they bickered.
Ex had even returned from his journey of self-discovery, completely confused at first and then began pouting when he learned that he didn’t have a Helscraft counterpart of his own to cause mischief with. With a laugh, Helsuma had offered to be the counterpart of both brothers.
------
It was several months later when the two Admins stood on the roofs of their Town Halls, smiles on their faces as they overlooked the antics below them; Hermits and Helsmits alike interacting harmoniously. With the union of their respectful dimensions their families had doubled in size.
And both of them couldn’t have been any happier.
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bellatrixobsessed1 · 4 years ago
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Ten Sides (Last Part)
The root of her problems, Doctor Khan says, is her own self image. She thinks that she has always known as much. That she has always had a distorted image of who she is in some way or another; sometimes she is the greatest soul to walk upon Fire Nation land, on other days she is a failure through and through. Some days she is a goddess, some days she is a disappointment, a shame… Sometimes she thinks herself a decent woman and at other times she can’t see herself as anything but a twisted and warped extension of her father. Sometimes she sees herself as a bold woman a free and independent woman. Sometimes she feels like a tool.
Sometimes she still longs for Aang to touch her aura again. To tweak it until she feels nothing but the self-respect and confidence that she tries to outwardly exude. Most of the time she is well aware that it is more satisfying to continue slowly putting herself back together on her own. She thinks that she has made so much progress already; even before meeting with Khan for the first time. She was proud to inform him that she has already done her share of introspection and that she would only like the tools to fully make something of it.
Today’s task is to better resolve things with Mai and TyLee. They talk to her, they bring her on outings, they seem to enjoy being in her company again. But she still doesn’t feel as though she has fully patched things up. There are still loose ends and these loose ends, Khan says, are worth tying.
She feels so vulnerable trying. Even though both of them are listening to her with much more willingness and much less skepticism.
“Believe it or not, I do understand.” Azula says. “I might be missing a few pieces but I understand.” And her understanding is exactly what continuously makes her feel ill.
“We already said that we forgive you.” TyLee smiles.
So why can’t she forgive herself? Why is she still so utterly disgusted with herself? Somehow this nags at her much more deeply than having killed Sangyul. “I don’t.”
Mai sighs. “You really like to latch onto mistakes, don’t you?”
“A mistake is something that happens once, by accident. Not something repeated and deliberate.”  Azula mumbles.
“How can you forgive Aang but not forgive yourself?” TyLee tires.
“I have standards for myself.”
“Lower them?” Mai quirks a brow.
Azula shakes her head. Though Khan has said the same thing, she thinks that this is one standard she can’t lower. She has already done her share of lowering anyways; these days she leaves her hair out of place when day to day activities make a mess of it. These days she allows herself to skip firebending practice. These days it is easier for her to stomach a poorly preformed kata. These days it is easier for her to look in the mirror and see her scar not as a mark of shame but a mark of strength, perseverance… These days she is able to feel satisfaction when assessing herself as a whole.
But not this. This is a standard that she needs to uphold. A standard that she can’t afford to get lax with. Not when it is so easy for her to fall back into poorer social habits. The ones that her father had fashioned for her. The ones that made her an adequate soldier.
She wants to be a more agreeable person, as Sangyul had put it, but she wants to do it on her terms. She will do it on her terms.  “I need to talk about this. I need to…” she needs to feel like she isn’t horrible. That she isn’t exactly what she hates. Needs to come to terms with that she had been what she has come to hate. “Do you think about it, sometimes?”
“Think about what?” TyLee asks.
“What I did to you? Do you still have...habits? Tell me the truth.”
TyLee bites her lip. “I did for a while.”
Azula swallows, her stomach flutters. She had seen it coming, she had wanted to know. It hurts all the same. “Mai?”
Mai shrugs, “not really, but that still doesn’t make it okay.”
She knows this. “It is still not okay what Aang did to me.”
Mai nods, seeming to relax somewhat. “I guess that it’s good to have proof that you really do understand.”
“Do you still have habits, TyLee?”
She shakes her head, “not since our last talk.” She smiles. “I’m not afraid of you anymore.”
Azula isn’t sure if the flutters in her tummy come from fear and discomfort or relief--they really like her. They are staying with her because she is someone worth keeping company with. And if they are no longer afraid of her, perhaps she shouldn’t be either. Perhaps she can afford to let her guard down at least a little. To trust herself. Perhaps it is time to more fully accept each and every change. To fully acknowledge and embrace who she has become. Even if this person is softer, more venerable. Even if this person is more doubtful, prone to questioning herself. They are her own changes, the ones that she herself has invited.  
“Thank you.”
“For what?” TyLee asks with a little laugh, “not being afraid?”
Azula nods.
“Thanks for talking with us.” Mai replies. “For a while I thought that it was just an act.”
“It’s not an act.”
“We know.” TyLee says cheerfully.
“Now can you forgive yourself and stop making things weird and tense?”
She manages a laugh. “I think so.” Spirits, she feels so much lighter now.
She doesn’t need the vines. She never did. She is healing on her own.
.oOo
Her smile is beautiful, perfect. She is stubborn, irritating, pushy, and particular. It is truly aggravating sometimes. Her moods can be turbulent and sometimes she yells. She has a tendency to bring up the past. And by Raava, he fights back. But he wouldn’t tweak an aspect of her. She is perfect. And she is perfect the way she is.
Her moods are growing much less turbulent, her mind less troubled. He can see it in her posture, in that beautiful, perfect smile, and in her eyes. There is clarity in them, clarity and peace to go with that sharp and powerful gleam.
She pats her lap and he sits upon it. She wraps her arms around him and rests her chin on his shoulder. “I talked with Mai and TyLee earlier today.”
“How did that go?”
“I won’t be needing an emergency session with doctor Khan.” She kisses the crook of her neck. “It went well.”
“I’m glad to hear it.” He smiles.
“Avatar?”
“Yeah?”
“Are you still ashamed of yourself?”
He furrows his brows, “what do you mean?”
“Because I feel like myself again.” She says, stroking the back of his hand. “I don’t have the nightmares as often. You don’t have to feel guilty anymore.”
And it comes to him that she is assuming that, because she has been struggling to forgive herself, that he must be too. Her expressions of empathy are as bizarre as many of her other mannerisms. He has to laugh. Truth be told, he has forgiven himself some time back. He can see the confidence on her, can see her coming back to herself, but somehow it still comes as a relief to hear her vocally confirm that he hasn’t left her permanently unsure of herself.
“I’m glad to hear it, Azula.” She has fought so hard to rediscover herself and, spirits, the woman she has found is a lovely one. He massages her back and shoulders. He only hopes that he has done the same for himself.
He is almost certain that he has; for better or for worse, he has shaken away the innocent, naive boy he had been. For better or for worse, he knows that sometimes he can’t hold back, that he has to strike and strike hard. For better or for worse, he knows when he has to fight.
She gives him another faint smile and trails her fingers down his arms. She goes quiet for a moment, for just long enough to leave a flutter in his belly. “I love you.”
It is the first time that she has said as much out loud without the vines to push her to do so. And, spirits, the authenticity is so much better. Though spoken just as quietly, her affections aren’t timid and flustered. They are strangely firm but with a silky quality.
“Say it again?” He requests.
“I love you, Avatar.” She gives his neck another kiss. “You’ve helped me a lot. It was humiliating and stupid but…”
“But look at you now.” He finishes. He gazes into her eyes. They are fully lucid, fully Azula. Azula with  compassion.
“I just wish that I would have helped you the right way from the start.”
She presses her lips firmly together before confessing, “I’m not sure that you would have been able to, Avatar. I didn’t want to change. I...don’t know if I would have if I didn’t break completely.”
And there it is, the final thing that needs to be settled. Aang shakes his head, “I think that you would have. You shouldn’t have had to get hurt that badly to heal. We should have realized that you needed some patience and understanding. I know that you think that the old you was unreachable but have you considered that that’s because no one ever tried to do it the right way?”
“Avatar, that’s a lot easier said than done. I’m not...I wasn’t nice.”
“Do you know how many times Zuko lashed out at Iroh?” Aang asks. “The point is, you didn’t need to go through all of that. You didn’t deserve what Sangyul put you through.”
Azula nods, “thank you, Avatar. Sometimes I forget that things don’t have to be so...cruel.”
He wishes that life would have been kinder to her. All the same, he can’t imagine Azula without her rougher edges. The rougher edges that he had damn near smoothed away. “They don’t.” He confirms. “But I’m pretty sure that it’s safe to say that you can handle everything.”
She pulls him closer, squeezes him tighter, buries her face in the folds of his clothing. She kisses between his shoulder blades and he knows for certain that they never had to force her to be loving, she had the capacity for it.  
All they had to do was assure her that it was safe to be soft.
.oOo.
She feels strong again, powerful. Her head hasn’t felt this clear in so long. And thinks that she has fully fulfilled the lessons she learned from unlocking her chakras. She looks in the mirror, the face within is both harder and softer all at once. She supposes that it only makes sense; it is a rather direct reflection of her personality. Of a woman who has found the strength in weakness and the dignity in shame. Of a woman who has confronted her guilt and her fears and built them into love and comfort. Love and comfort that shakes grief away. Of a woman who has learned to break away from those comfortable lies that have been rotting her away into a weaker version of herself. Of a woman who has stripped herself down to the rawest elements of herself, the truest version of herself. The version of herself that the most admirable, respectable, and lovable.
And finally she can be content with the face she sees. Finally she can be happy to look upon it. Upon herself. Finally she can not only be content with, but appreciate the woman she sees.
“You aren’t scrutinizing yourself again, are you?” Aang asks.
She shakes her head, “no, Avatar. I’m…”
“Admiring?” He quirks a brow.
She rolls her eyes, “appreciating.”
“I appreciate your face too.” He stoops down to kiss her forehead.
She rolls her eyes.
“I’m not talking about my face.” Though she doesn’t think that it would hurt to appreciate that too.
“Then what are you talking about?”
“Do you really want to listen to me ramble about myself.”
“I sure do.” Aang pulls up a chair. “What exactly are we appreciating today?”
She gives a soft hum, “acceptance, Avatar, we’re appreciating acceptance. Change, as well, I suppose.” More than that she appreciates finally being comfortable in her skin. Sound in who she has become. “I am...happy with myself.” She is happy with herself because she is undeniably herself. And she thinks that she has grown into herself quite well.
Aang grins. “That’s really refreshing to hear.” He massages her shoulders.
Every so often her mind wanders back to that facility, to Sangyul. But when it does there is an element of control, a different sort of acceptance. A more solemn one; things could have and probably should have gone different. Things didn’t have to get as bad as they did. The man had damn near killed a part of her and she had paid him back for it. She isn’t an evil person. Neither is she the sweet and timid thing that he tried to shape her into--that people may well want her to be. And so her nightmares become a rarity. When they rise, she has her Avatar to whisper consoling words in her ear.
“Does this mean that the meditation isn’t ‘loathsome’ and ‘pointless’?”
She rolls her eyes. “It is quite helpful, but I still think that it looks ridiculous.”
“You look ridiculous so that your bending can look mystifying.”
She must admit that it certainly has helped her find a new source for her bending, a source that isn’t so cold and hateful. And in the clarity her lightningbending and her forms have a new and deeper elegance. A regal prowess that suits her very well.
“I wish I could say the same for your firebending. Avatar, have you been practicing like I’ve told you?”
He rubs the back of his head, telling her all that she needs to know.
She sighs, “well I know what we’re doing today.”
“Aren’t you, Mai, and TyLee having a girl’s night?”
“Ladies night starts at night. We have plenty of sunlight left to work on your firebending. The last time we trained it was embarrassing...for both of us as I recall.”
He laughs. “Alright, fine, I guess it will be fun to train with you now that you actually have your fire.”
She leads him into the palace training hall. “Would you like to spar first or shall I show you some forms?” She already knows what he is going to say.
“Forms, please.”
She rolls her eyes. “Savor you last moments of rest, Avatar. I won’t be going easy on you once we start.”
“I know that you won’t.”
With a smirk and a quirk of her brow, she holds out her hand. She lets the flame flicker upon it. Her brows furrow and Aang stands back up. “Avatar...what?”
He cups his hand under hers.
“What does this mean?”
“You found your peace and a perfect balance for you.” He replies with a kiss to the top of her head.
She lets the flame lick and lap in her palm. A brilliant white.
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pfreadsandwrites · 5 years ago
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Hiya! Are your requests open? If not, I apologize, if yes, how about fire and rust for Kakashi (from the prompt list) headcanons BUT with a s/o in the picture. Your characterization of him is so on point I just wanna see your thoughts on like, every prompt, but I'll deal. You're amazing an your hcs make me smile so much! This blog sparks joy 10/10
Welllll it’s more that I haven’t had any word prompts in a few weeks so it kinda fizzled out… I don’t think I explicitly said I wasn’t doing them anymore so you’re okay!! Tbh I don’t really know what I’m doing, my ask box isn’t really closed but it’s also not really open, I’m also not supposed to be doing extra requests, I’m supposed to be finishing my fic/scenario prompts, but I also enjoy answering people’s headcanon questions and I’ve been doing that lately to try and cure my writer’s block… So Idk. Anyway, I’ll stop rambling, my point is, you’re fine, and thank you so much! I’m glad you enjoy my blog :)
Fire: What is the most important thing for them in a relationship?
I think what he’d value most is compassion. 
I’m cheating a little bit because there’s a lot of things wrapped up with that, but compassion. Empathy, patience, kindness - but also the wisdom to not get lost in those things at the detriment of everything else. You’re able to offer up a new outlook, one of levity, of understanding - not one laced in anger and suffering and bitterness and it changes his world. Your kindness doesn’t make you a pushover - instead there’s courage in it. That you keep choosing to see be good, to see the good in others, in the world, in him, even when you’ve been handed enough proof that you might see the opposite. Your compassion enables him to see him for what he is, and though he’s scared of being seen, truly seen, it lets him know you won’t regret it either. You offer him enough space to heal, and you keep pulling him back after all his attempts to push you away, because you know exactly what he’s doing and you take it in your stride. Kakashi knows the value of compassion through the pain he’s been through, not because he was ever taught it was something important - but you just know it to your core. It’s such a huge contrast to who he as a shinobi, or at least who he was at the start, and he really needs it in his life and in his relationship.
Rust: Do they like themselves?
Well, frankly- no. It’s tricky because Kakashi has a strong awareness of his reputation, his adulations, his strength and skill which is important because if he’s not realistic about his abilities and prowess it could be detrimental in a battle - but he’s also very humble and modest, and is the first to put himself down. He doesn’t like himself very much, and his entire character is laced with so much regret and survivor’s guilt that he’s not even let himself develop as a person beyond that because he doesn’t really think he deserves it. 
Since I’m approaching this with Kakashi having an s/o... The answer is still no. However, he’s made a lot of strides to improve this about himself. He’s a lot more forgiving, and a lot more accepting. Of his flaws, his past, his humanity. It’s in huge part due to you. At his most vulnerable, he might ask you what you see in a man like him. You could have any man you wanted, yet you chose him. It genuinely perplexes him. The question comes in a quiet, gravelly voice. He’s on top of you, after making the decision to take you to his bed that night and he stops, staring at you wide-eyed. Of course, you’re taken aback, and you tell him just what you see in him. He doesn’t quite believe you once you’re done, but it’s enough to satisfy him. He’s convinced you believe it, at the very least, and something in your earnest, shaky voice makes him want to try to believe it, to at least try not to give into his self-doubt and loathing. So he takes you, fully, openly. You slowly help him see that there is some value in him, that he could be valuable to someone in a way that isn’t just being a shinobi, soldier, tool, human weapon - whatever you want to call it. He’s never really gonna love himself - after everything he’s been through, he’s very evasive of anything resembling arrogance, however slightly. But he doesn’t take all he’s done that’s good, all the lives he’s saved and everything he’s helped improve for granted anymore. He begins to see his worth, and even if he doesn’t like himself completely, he doesn’t loathe himself. He’s started to heal. Yes, he’s made mistakes. Yes, he’s not perfect. But he’s not all that bad either. He might even be a victim of circumstance in some cases. He’s not so bad that he doesn’t deserve to begin to be happy, at least. 
Other word prompts I’ve done here. List of words here 
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maryisis · 8 years ago
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Light Warrior
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If the true meaning of apocalypse is to “uncover” or “reveal”- than we are surely living in apocalyptic times. All that was once hidden is now coming to surface to be seen and reconciled with. In these times when our hearts and souls are being put to the ultimate test by bearing witness to the destruction, pain and suffering in the world, we meet this challenge with our fortitude- courageously keeping our hearts open to feeling and having the willingness to heal and thrive in this life through our selfless love, compassion, forgiveness and humility. 
We live in a climactic time of extremes, and the shadows of humanity that once were more hidden are in plain sight. It is a time of great transparency as these veils are being lifted and people are waking up from the trance of unworthiness, scarcity, blame, confusion and separation. We are being forced to face our unreconciled grievances, unhealed wounds, and inner conflicts on an individual level as well as collectively in our culture. We are awakening to see the lies that we were told and believed and we are having to unlearn all the ways of thinking that a failing socio-economic system depends on us to perpetuate. Our own transformation and evolution is in our hands.
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We are choosing to look deeper for our true purpose and value of living, that extends far beyond the “American dream.”  More than just the country of America- much of humanity is having a soul crisis as a result of a prevailing (yet failing) objectivist and materialist mindset that has dominated and served to support a system that disregards anything that cannot be perceived and explained through the five senses- therefore disregarding the Great Mystery from which emerges awe, humility and reverence. This great mystery is God or whatever you’d like to call the divine source of Spirit which is behind all that we see (and don’t see)- it is what supports all of Nature and the intricate diverse and beautiful web of life of which we are a part. Our passions and desires have run amok in unsustainable selfish ways and now we are now reaping the consequences. We are at a crossroads, which cannot be avoided- because the reality of the truth of our being is what will truly set us free. And to be free is what every being truly longs for. 
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There are opposing forces in the world, that is the law of polarity. To be a light warrior means to oppose the forces of darkness in all its insidious forms- Fear, hate, ignorance, self-doubt, blame, judgement, controlling or over powering others, arrogance, confusion, separation, and deception. Forces of darkness work to make a person feel small, powerless, despairing, afraid, and contracted. People fall into dark patterns of mind because they believe things that are simply not true. How does the light warrior oppose the forces of darkness? With love, compassion, open mindedness, confidence/courage, self-responsibility, acceptance, self-respect, sourcing power from within, humility, purification/clarity of mind and body, and truth/honesty in thoughts, words and deeds. These values will serve towards the expansion of our being, bringing a  sense of hope and connectedness. With devoted practice and embodiment of these values in our everyday life, we serve in the highest way we can towards keeping the light shining- Being the Light to guide others through example.
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The Light Warrior sources her power from within and is devoted to her soul’s evolution. Ruthless in her pursuit for integrity and wisdom she will hunt down the inner conflicts and contradictions with compassion and eliminate them. There is no room for hypocrisy, or self-pity which would bring down the frequency and not be in alignment with Truth. The light warrior understands that this life is her sacred mystery school, Every new day is a ceremony and every interaction is a ripe opportunity for learning and growing how to love more. The mind goes through refinement and rewiring through this redirection and training and becomes stronger and more resilient so that when forces of darkness try to infiltrate with doubts, fears or hatred- her brilliant light continues to shine with strength and courage- dispelling the darkness. The light warrior wields her sacred alchemical tools of transformation with much care and responsibility. Her words and actions are carried out with intention and integrity and with the Guidance of Loving Spirit. Clear intuition with deep listening, she feels into her next move with precision and certainty. The light warrior has the power to dissolve negativity or any feeling of lacking with the power of her gratitude- because she understands it is entirely her choice how and what she wishes to see. This is what it means to be a co-creator.  If only attuned to selfish desires of ego, our creative force can bring destruction. However, when we are attuned to the Supreme One Source of Light our creations are imbued with goodness and purpose and sustainability. 
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Light Warrior Invocation:
I am One with the Great Source of Light, Spirit, Love and Goodness which supports all life. I am Life and I am Spirit.  With the focus of my consciousness I create beauty to inspire, uplift and open the heart. With the power of my compassion and love, walls of separation crumble and the chains of suffering are broken. Knowing that I am One with the immaculate Supreme Source, and I choose to tap into this Wellspring of infinite wonder to keep my light shining bright. My presence has the power to heal and inspire. I am devoted to embodying Truth and Freedom and being a secret agent of love and transformation for the world. I am my own liberator and a conscious co-creator. Divine Love is my Sword and it slices through selfish ignorance and slays doubts and fears. I am a warrior of Love and light and I am a servant of Love and Light. I am always protected by my inner knowing and I am always divinely guided. I am grateful to be Me. I am grateful to be alive. And I am heeding the call to my divine duty and purpose at this time on Earth.
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yung-gini-blog · 6 years ago
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One Is Many Mottos
I have many mottos. One is:
An aphorism is worth its weight in gold.
Puzzling, I know. What the **** does an aphorism weigh?
Weight is a measure of gravitation force. That's a fact. My contention is that information is attractive to information much like matter attracts matter. Thus, the weight of an idea is the extent that other ideas are inclined to relate to it.
A cliché that is frequently insightful is an aphorism. Put differently, the value of a phrase depends on the quantity of contexts in which the phrase can be interpreted as contributing to discussion.
The quantity of contexts in which phrase is interpretable as contributing to discourse...is not easily measured.
When I gauge the gravity of an idea, I don't claim high precision. I have just two buckets to sort ideas:
Zip
Key
That is to say, an idea is light (Zip := weight counted in ounces) or heavy (Key := weight counted in kilograms).
When I'm feeling spiffy, I can distinguish Major and Minor Key ideas, and I hold Major Keys of Novelty in especially high regard. Call them Newtons.
Another motto I follow is:
No isms, no schisms. Only aphorisms.
I love to stretch definitions. A formula is like an aphorism, right?
f* = (p(b + 1) – 1) / b
That's a representation of the Kelly Criterion (KC). A prosaic interpretation of the Kelly Criterion is:
Don't bet more than you can afford to lose.
But what does this cliché mean, really? In KC-based thinking, a bet is affordable if you can afford to make the same bet every day for the rest of your life. So, if you run out of cash chasing profit, you've been outsmarted by your own greed.
Consider a Demon who offers you a wager on a coin-flip. Demon says that if the coin lands tails, he will seize your house. And if the coin lands heads, he will give you the title to 4 houses more expensive than your own. This Demon is not a trickster. The coin is fair, the contract is in writing, and your high-powered attorney finds it bulletproof.
This crazy scenario is one in which you are being offered 4:1 on a 50% outcome. Your expected value is +2 houses. But the stakes are too high to make the wager. Winning nets you a windfall profit, but losing is disruptive to your life, potentially leading to homelessness. Potentially is key in the previous sentence. If you happen to be rich, then the Demon is offering you an easy high-risk high-return bet.
The logic of KC is one of the iron laws of this world, a structural force behind economic inequality. If you understand and implement KC in your life, you will not suffer money shortages. Deviate from KC, and pay the price. The greater one’s deviation, the pricier it will be.
At this point, it may seem like I am Kelly Criterion-ist. Doesn't that violate my first motto: No isms, no schisms?
I can tell you that I am not KC-ist because I can think of situations in which I choose to deviate from KC, moments to accept the price I pay for my decision.
Naive rationalists are really greedy money-maximizers. This is not rational, obviously:
mo money mo problems; money is the root of all evil
KC-aware rationalists are a level ahead, as they maximize log(money). Smart people are keenly aware that the more money you have, the less adding a buck impacts your life. But there are clearly levels of wealth, and a doubling of wealth is impactful for almost all of us.
Although I believe in rationality as a goal, I do not think that maximizing log(money) is rational. Nor do I believe that rationality is the optimal or primary goal for me or for humanity.
Between irrational compassion or rational self-interest, I believe that choosing is simple, and it is only our suffering, our pain, our thirst, a perception of lacking, that biases the self towards her own interest. This is because for the enlightened among us, there is no choice to make. True self-interest is compassion for others.
It's so simple, really. Just break down the world altruism. All – true – ism. The orientation of the altruist is to act such that one experiences the underlying truth of reality; that all suffering is equatable. The time that one lives while feeling oneness, without the bias that protects one's own feelings at the expense of other's suffering, is time of joyous bliss. If you find fault in this logic, try it for yourself, or not. Suffering is a free choice.
At this point, one might assume that I am an altruist, which would contradict my 1st motto: No isms, no schisms. My first response is that there is space for contradiction in truth, given that truth exists in relation to falsity. Secondly, I am not an altruist because I do not agree that my perception of bliss is what ought to determine the course of my existence.
Experiences of ecstasy are to me a side-effect of right action, an effect that serves to counterbalance the suffering that I choose to experience.
I have pondered a life of abstention, to live in silence, as a hermit in a cave in the mountains, subsisting on foraged plants and fungus. A blissful fantasy, I long for it often.
Yet I am motivated to act in the world. I am blessed with a sense of purpose, a guiding force that accepts the hardships that I will experience and perpetrate with forgiveness. I call it Divine Grace. It is not like the CIA; I have no license to kill. Nor do I have permission to judge the actions of others.
I believe that the deepest suffering is self-inflicted. The feeling of judging oneself and receiving a negative verdict is eclipsed in sorrow only by the illusion of perfection in human form: pride.
Pride feels good, before the fall.
I am not an altruist because I do not fully trust my feelings or my thoughts. I trust the alignment of thoughts and feelings, but I believe that extremes of certainty or doubt are delusions, perceptions without real basis.
You see, Confidence is a con; a facade over insecurity. Too much is like none at all.
Likewise, Doubt is a pawn; generally weak, but with great effort, it may transform into the sharpest tool of all.
Balance is needed. But balance should not be confused for extremism on both sides. Consider the barber who keeps clipping away at your hairline, always balancing left temple with right before declaring his work complete...leaving you bald.
Moderation, the principle that less is more, more-or-less, is dual to balance. The implication is that sometimes, less balance is more balanced.
Has it ever occurred to you that Modernity stems from Moderation? To progress, one must minimize one's error, but not too much, for that is an error.
Whatever you believe, love it or leave it. Love is unity, dual with itself. Love beyond reason is reason enough to exist. A miraculous contradiction, life is.
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thenightofcups · 8 years ago
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On the subject of Jellal’s arc
I've seen some Jellal commentary lately that's kinda raised my eyebrows. There's several points I want to make here and to avoid a tangental rant I'm going to address the biggest three issues I have.
Redemption. What does this mean in Fairy Tail as a manga and what does it mean for Jellal specifically?
Jellal vs. Siegrain. Is this a versus or are they both pieces of the same whole?
Moving forward. Where can Jellal go from here?
REDEMPTION
One of the overlying themes of Fairy Tail as a manga is friendship and forgiveness. Depending on who you ask these things may or may not be executed well.
There's a handful of notable redemption arcs in FT. Laxus and Gajeel have perhaps the most important arcs when it comes to main and secondary characters. Less important, quaternary redemption arcs, like Minerva and my girl Brandish, stand out, as well. Then there's Jellal.
In my opinion, Jellal can be classified as secondary or tertiary, depending on the arc. His relevance usually has something to do with Erza, and he packs a mighty punch. For a character that's secondary on his very Best Day Ever, Jellal has one of the largest and most developed redemption arcs in the series. We've seen him as a charismatic child slave, an obnoxiously arrogant tool of Hades, a kind hearted amnesiac, a self loathing penitent anti-hero, and whatever he is now (I'd classify current!Jellal as on the cusp of completion).
The crimes associated with him are many and include the manipulation of a government body into firing a weapon of mass destruction. There's a lot of debate surrounding these activities and honestly it's super exhausting. Remember, though! Jellal is the only character with a redemption arc (besides perhaps Zeref) who was magically manipulated on a neurological level to commit his crimes. Laxus was abused by his asshole dad. Gajeel was an angry youth who was given an improper outlet. Minerva was also terribly abused by an ain't shit dad. None of these other kids were actual slaves nor were they violated by a magic taught to yet another victim expressly for the purpose of brainwashing (this term is also widely debated and I'll touch on that later).
What's a guy – who's agency was quite literally stripped from him for more than half his life – have to do to earn redemption? According to many in the FT fandom, nothing will ever be enough. I've seen folks say he's heinously unforgivable and can only bring Erza sadness despite canon evidence to the contrary. More than once we've seen Erza state how much she cares about and for Jellal, show appreciation for his efforts, and actual concern for his lack of care in keeping himself hidden from prying eyes.
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Why is it so easy for fans to forgive Laxus and Gajeel, but not Jellal? I sure don't know the answer. He has been instrumental in assisting (and saving the life of) the protagonist [Natsu] in a plot relevant battle.
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He has saved Erza's life and wreaked havoc in the wake of her injuries...
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Time...
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And time...
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Again.
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He has provided crucial assistance to the Magic Council when necessary and followed their rules.
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He has been weighed and judged by Mavis and found to have a heart worthy of Fairy Tail.
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He not only saves Kagura's life...
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...but she later saves his!
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What more do you people want? Is this not enough? He has earned the trust and approval of the characters that matter. This is redemption over the course of hundreds of chapters. This is forgiveness. He has earned both. I don't think it's been done poorly. Remember the real-time time line of FT is about two years. I don't think his story has fallen flat at all. In fact, Jellal and Erza are a really good example of love and understanding when it comes to mental illness, trauma recovery, and boundaries.
Jellal does not expect Erza to fix him. He's taken it upon himself to handle his own shit – to right his wrongs as best he can. He's not forcing her into that emotional labor. And like... wow. What a guy. Can actual men take note of this please? Because damn. Erza understands his problems and she loves him (and cares about his well being) so much she has waited for him.
I can't understand the opinion that Jerza is somehow toxic. Are we reading the same manga?
JELLAL vs. SIEGRAIN
When we first meet Jellal as Siegrain, he's an arrogant asshole. He and Ultear display the kind of casual supremacy that only a young person with position and ability – that they likely don't deserve – can pull off. He shows a weird kind of amused affection for Fairy Tail and stops the council from punishing them more harshly for the destruction they regularly cause.
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Siegrain's first interaction with Erza is super creepy but foreshadows what happens later with Jellal in his corporeal form at the Tower of Heaven. It's a hint that Erza has a nasty backstory she's keeping secret and that it has something to do with Siegrain. He is very much in her personal space here and the argument can be made that even under Ultear’s control, Jellal is still drawn to Erza. The full story doesn't come until later, though.
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In the flashbacks during the ToH arc we see a young Jellal. He is kind. He is friendly. He is charismatic, and in the recent past, he convinced a group of terrified child slaves that they absolutely could escape to freedom – because he genuinely believed they could. He cares deeply for his friends, especially Erza, and when she is tortured to the point of losing an eye, it is Jellal who comes for her and finds her in horrible shape. In the background of the panel below it's pretty clear what Jellal has done to get to her.
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These are children approximately 10-12 in age who are living a nightmare that, even by FT's standards, is pretty damn horrible. Jellal is well liked and trusted. Erza cares enough about him to seek him out in return – only to find he's a different person. Between chapters 80-83 Jellal changes utterly. He goes from what Erza describes as her ideal –
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To something... else.
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While Erza is finding her claws, Jellal is tied up and tortured. He's whipped and beaten and is forced to endure the retelling of what these same guards had done to Erza.
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This kind of bleak horror would drive anyone's soul to it's knees. Jellal is about 12 here. He is a child slave on a fucking rock in the middle of the ocean. He tried to rescue a friend he loves only to find her bloodied and missing an eye. For this crime of compassion, he's tortured by the very same people. He. Is. Twelve.
How could a grown person resist the sweet call of revenge by a specter who appears before them claiming to be the ghost of a god, much less a distraught child? Of course he hates the world. Why shouldn't he? I know I hate the world and for so many less valid reasons!
The anime shows the scene where Ultear possesses Jellal very differently than the manga so for the sake of continuity I'm sticking with the manga. By the time Erza finds him, the Jellal she knew has been warped.
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Whatever magic Ultear used on Jellal is never explained in detail. In chapter 95, Ultear is speaking with Hades and she thanks him for teaching her a brainwashing technique. The Oxford definition of brainwashing is: “the activity of forcing somebody to accept your ideas or beliefs, for example by repeating the same thing many times or by preventing the person from thinking clearly.” I'm not sure if that meaning entirely defines what happened to Jellal. Ultear appeared to him at a time when Jellal was at his weakest. He was in pain, his heart was broken, his spirit was broken. She offered him an outlet for his rage – but she also lied.
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Would Jellal have let her in if he'd been in any other circumstance? Probably not. And it wouldn't matter anyway because Ultear lied. She wasn't Zeref. Nor did she even have a grasp of who Zeref truly was. In fact, Ultear was also a tool much like Jellal – but without the brainwashing magic. She's a product of good old fashioned grooming. He could not possibly have known her true intent of manipulating him for nearly a decade, and hurting a lot of people Jellal previously cared about in the process. If given the full scope of things, would he have let her in? No.
This is basic consent. Jellal was a slave. Slaves cannot give consent. Not ever. They are property. They do not have choices. Jellal could not give Ultear – a person who was not a slave – permission to enter his body or mind and change his goals and decision making processes. For argument's sake, let's take away the slavery element. Jellal is in a random basement dungeon. Still tied up. Still thinking his friends are dead. Still tortured and hating the world. Ultear pops in, lies, and slips in his head. This is still not consent. Her intentions are not made clear to him. He lets her in under completely false pretenses. Any and all arguments that Jellal is somehow to blame for Ultear manipulating him are invalid and should be burned to the ground immediately. Salt that bullshit earth!
All that aside, Ultear is now in his head. Siegrain is born. Is Siegrain really all that different from Jellal? Mmm... not really. Jellal and Siegrain are both parts of the same whole. Siegrain is just as charismatic as Jellal. He's very good at getting what he wants from the council. He is a toxic cocktail of Ultear's desires, and qualities we know Jellal had already. Heroes and villains are shockingly alike when picked apart. Both have ambition and drive. Well written heroes have a darker side, and a well written villain has a core of humanity. Siegrain is a manipulation of Jellal. It only takes a few tweaks to turn a full bodied hero into a nasty villain. Ultear found the right spots, and squeezed.
I have no doubts that if he'd been allowed to grow up without Ultear's and Hades's intervention, Jellal would've developed the same anti-hero tendencies we see from him in the most current arcs. In chapter 416, Jellal tells Erza she'll survive because she has seen the best and worst parts of humanity and understands them. He encourages her to continue her walk in the light.
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Even as he says this, he takes his place in the shadows. He knows he is needed there.
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Jellal is the kind of guy who will take a bullet for the team. It's just who he is as a person and even before he was brainwashed by Ultear he was struggling to take Erza's bullets.
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The line between good and evil is pretty thin. Characteristics alone don't make a person a hero or villain. When boiled down, Siegrain and Jellal are the same person. Intent doesn't always equal result, but result doesn't always have to define a person. Jellal struggles with what defines him. He's made some questionable decisions since regaining control of himself but he is well aware that he toes the line.
I've said before that Jellal is an idealist. He's romanticized his goals and ambitions on a ridiculously impractical scale. This isn't too different than a possessed Jellal. He was positively heretical and had wildly romanticized the idea of Zeref's magic. Idealism on steroids.
MOVING FORWARD
Jellal's stated goal has always been to take down Zeref. He's hellbent on it. The reason for this is pretty clear. He associates Zeref and the zealotry his followers display with everything that went wrong in his life and the lives of the people he loves. I said in a [previous post] that this aspect of Jellal's arc is a bit of a plot hole. Zeref didn't create this dark magic. He was cursed for dabbling in it. We haven't seen too much of pre-curse Zeref but the things he did aren't much different than other characters in other stories (EG: Edward and Alphonse Elric in Fullmetal Alchemist). As I said before, a well written villain has a root in humanity that is somewhat relatable to the audience. That's what makes them scary!
I digress. Crime Sorciere cannot possibly take out all dark magic practitioners any more than a single police department can take out crime in any given city. It's just not plausible. I'm repeating myself here but August addressed this in chapter 509. He scoffs at Jellal's light vs. dark conundrum.
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August is right. Jellal can't save the entire world. What he can do is find redemption in love. This is Jellal's crux. He's earned forgiveness from relevant parties – but he's not really expressed whether or not he's forgiven himself. He has done more than anyone could possibly ask of him in order to atone for what was done in his name. Even Kagura has decided his life has worth!
I believe Mashima has set Jellal up to have a happy ending with Erza. When I started reading FT the Avatar arc had just ended. There's a gap between the interpretations of those who binge and those who've read serially for years. Serial consumers have time to stew and get hung up on things that are sometimes hard to let go of. I binged so I was able to consume the meatiest bits of Jellal's story all at once. I don't think it's been poorly executed. I don't think any of it has fallen flat. There is absolutely no point to Kagura saving Jellal's life on her own, without prompting, if Mashima did not intend to wrap up Jellal's arc in a positive way. We even have a canon confession of love.
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He implicitly says he has finally found the light in his heart. He's found light. Inside of himself. Jellal loves Erza and has vowed to protect her – and has! Against Acnologia no less! Jellal has all the materials necessary to complete his arc. I have absolute faith this will happen.
I mean...
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phynxrizng · 8 years ago
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DAILY ASTROLOGY REPORTS AND HOROSCOPES FOR 6-20-17
ASTROLOGY TOOLS FREE NATAL CHART REPORT ABOUT CONTACT Astrology Cafe Daily Astrology
DAILY ASTROLOGY TODAY MONTHLY Astrology of Today – Tuesday, June 20, 2017
Jun 19, 2017 by ANNIE 1 COMMENT
The Moon is in Taurus. The Moon is waning and its Last Quarter phase until 6:14 PM, after which the Moon is in its Waning Crescent phase. The Last Quarter Moon occurred on the 17th, and the New Moon will occur on the 23rd. Times are EDT. Horoscopes Aries
The first half of the day, in particular, is excellent for exercising your creative muscles and releasing tension through artistic or physical channels, dear Aries. There is a certain kind of magic in giving out the kind of affection and approval you want others to give you. You’re also in a good position to let go of grudges, discover new products or services that make your life easier (or more beautiful and inspired), connect well with friends, and come up with good ideas for handling your money or valuables. Later today, sensitive topics are likely to emerge, or something you hear or say hits a nerve. It may not be intentional, but the result is the same, and while a part of you just wants to ignore it and move on, another part of you (or a person in your life) won’t let it go. In truth, addressing the issue can work in your favor.
Taurus
The Moon spends the day in your sign, dear Taurus, bringing some pleasant liveliness to your world. Additionally, you have Venus, your ruler, in your sign and forming a happy aspect with Neptune. All eyes are on you, and you’re standing out, gently, as especially appealing and really quite wonderful! Your calmness is particularly emphasized and appreciated now. It’s a good time to build a bridge or bond with someone you care about. You might also decide to talk about an issue that’s been bothering you. On the one hand, there is a high potential to get somewhere and make progress on a problem, but on the other, people can be sensitive, and you might inadvertently open up another Pandora’s box altogether. Uncomfortable topics can emerge, but this also challenges you to put a grudge or an insecurity behind you, whether these belong to you or someone else!
Gemini
The first half of the day is quite excellent for expressing yourself, dear Gemini, particularly on technical levels. Personal matters can also go over correctly as you’re feeling a little freer and detached enough to express yourself well and make progress. Even so, later today, this energy reverses and there is increased sensitivity to address. It may be best to choose your words more carefully, or assert yourself and deal with the consequences! A Venus-Neptune aspect today helps to smooth over tensions and pulls out our more compassionate side. Career matters can be serendipitous, and drawing on past ideas can be successful if you decide to put them into motion. Love may be complicated, but intriguingly so.
Cancer
There is good energy for natural confidence and a free flow of energy between you and friends today, dear Cancer. While there can be some touchiness and sensitivity to deal with, there is also a generous supply of grace, forgiveness, and compassion to tap into, and these tend to win out over our insecurities. Reaching out to others is most important now. You might feel inspired to take a chance on love and friendship with a kind gesture. Spending time with people outside of your usual circle can be a powerful learning experience. There can be good news or inspiration found in unusual places now. The next couple of days are important as both the Sun and Mercury are moving into your sign, and not too long afterward, the New Moon occurs in Cancer. This is a critical time for putting harmful elements behind you as you begin a fresh new cycle.
Leo
The morning is potentially excellent for letting go of the negative and catching on to new and exciting ideas, dear Leo. Relationships, business sense, and professional appeal get a boost. An intuitive understanding of people and trends positively affects your dealings now. You can engage an audience, group, or important person. This is a good time for learning new skills, particularly of a technical or scientific nature. Later today, there may be some disconnects to deal with, but nothing you can’t handle. Get the facts before making a commitment, and be particularly aware of what you say and of your own soft spots — people are sensitive! Today and the next couple of days are critical for processing recent events and absorbing recent experiences and insights into friends, networks, and groups.
Virgo
The first half of the day is good for love matters, which can thrive, or for simply opening your heart and enjoying your blessings, dear Virgo. People who have something to show you on a spiritual or emotional level can figure strongly now. You may have an aura of mystery around you now, and this is particularly intriguing for others. People may surprise you with a good showing or friendly gestures. Research can turn up something interesting or valuable, and business can get a boost as a result. Later today, a Mercury-Chiron square can tug at your doubts and insecurities, particularly about your ability to get your message across successfully or about what you know. This is a time for seeing the ways that you might communicate that work against you, and making adjustments based on these insights makes sense now.
Libra
The first half of the day is strong for letting things work out on their own, dear Libra, and for allowing mysteries to unravel naturally. People are seeing your better side, or, more impressively, seeing your flaws but accepting them as well. You’re not necessarily seeking out understanding, and this is just fine for the time being. You enjoy good intuition for work, health, and research or analysis now. Conversations can be inspiring and even breakthrough in small ways. News arrives that stirs your inner spirit. Later today, we can be sensitive or easily triggered, and it may be necessary to be clearer than usual about your boundaries. Feed restlessness with knowledge or a different routine.
Scorpio
The morning is particularly useful for letting go of negative thoughts and focusing on opportunities, growth, and progress, dear Scorpio. Loving feelings and stirrings are in focus now. It can also be a warmly creative and fertile time. Creating, writing, imaginative art, theater, and entertainment can thrive right now. Approaching people wth gentleness is favored most today – pushing may come across as rude, unappealing, or unnecessary. There is something quite upbeat about the morning as well — you need a little break from the routine. Still, health and work can show signs of improvement. Later today, there can be some doubts to deal with, similar to yesterday but this time more about ideas and the ability to communicate your feelings effectively. Physical outlets for stress may be useful.
Sagittarius
The morning is strong for letting go of tension, errors, and problems, dear Sagittarius, and enjoying the positives. Interacting with others is more spontaneous and natural than it has been, and this suits you very well! Charm can be employed as you move slowly but surely towards your goals. You can have a strong desire to bring more harmony or beauty to your routine or your workplace today. Helping others or being of service can be enjoyable on many levels now. As well, your ideas are drawing people in, or someone with particularly interesting ideas is coming into your life. Changes of plans may turn out quite fun, inviting spontaneity. Later today, there can be crankiness and sensitivity to deal with. Talks can quickly become emotional.
Capricorn
The morning is quite excellent for easing into the day with confidence and calm, dear Capricorn. If only you could begin every day this way! There can be a psychic rapport with others or a very strong sense of trends influencing your dealings with others and projects in enhancing, positive ways. You fare well in your communications, but particularly those that are face to face. You can successfully apply imagination to relationships or ventures. Work or health-related ideas and methods can be progressive and useful. Alternatives can sometimes trip you up, making life feel a little too chaotic, but today they feel right, and you have a sense that opportunities are opening up to you. Later today, conversations or interactions can challenge you to face certain insecurities, particularly related to communication or knowledge.
Aquarius
A Venus-Neptune aspect this morning pulls on your heartstrings in the right way, dear Aquarius, as you need some extra beauty, wonder, and magic in your life now. Compassionate feelings are stirred now. You’re also in good shape for catching on to new thought waves or trends, making your communications particularly timely and appreciated. Family relationships might improve, and indeed extending a hand to someone can fill you up with warmth. You enjoy the people in your life a little more than usual now. Sharing ideas can strengthen a relationship today. Even so, later today can be somewhat awkward. Something you say can be taken the wrong way or news you hear pulls up conversations that you may not have expected to have. For some, there could be an uncomfortable interaction about money or boundaries.
Pisces
The first half of the day is particularly uplifting, dear Pisces. Likable and friendly Venus forms a harmonious aspect with your ruler, Neptune, stirring up a bit of magic in your social life. Being around others with no strings attached can be like a tonic now – you’re in a fabulous position to bond with others and for people to appreciate the qualities that come most naturally to you. Sometimes just being around people and letting them do their thing communicates the best message you can give. Allow your sentimental and gentle nature to emerge — own it and express it proudly! This is also a good time for finding fresh solutions or alternative methods to do business or to make family or home life run more smoothly. Later today, there is a tendency for people to confront one another about touchy topics. While it can be a little messy, it can be good to address problem areas.
*Remember to read horoscopes for your Ascendant sign and Sun sign. If you don’t know your Ascendant sign and know your birth time, you can look it up here.
If Your Birthday is June 20th, If Today is Your Birthday full horoscope here.
Astrology of Today – The Details: If you’re astrologically inclined and interested in the details of the Astrology of today, here are some of the factors considered in the forecasts (for the astrology of the week, see This Week in Astrology):

Date & Time: Jun 20 2017 0:00 am Event: Moon in Taurus Description: The Moon in Taurus This is a time for settling in, establishing and maintaining routines, and consolidating existing projects. We are building and developing. We crave predictability, stability, and security. This time favors ongoing projects and activities more than new ones.
Date & Time: Jun 20 2017 4:45 am Event: Tr-Tr Mon SSq Cer Description: Transiting Moon SemiSquare Transiting Ceres
Date & Time: Jun 20 2017 9:01 am Event: Tr-Tr Mon Sqq Sat Description: Transiting Moon SesquiSquare Transiting Saturn We could feel burdened, restricted, or limited during this brief influence. We could be feeling a little down on ourselves, excluded, or lonely. There can be some awkwardness or stiffness and difficulty showing affection and feelings. Patience is a virtue right now; otherwise we might succumb to feelings of frustration and sadness. All good things come to those who wait.
Date & Time: Jun 20 2017 10:24 am Event: Tr-Tr Mon Pll Ura Description: Transiting Moon Parallel Transiting Uranus
Date & Time: Jun 20 2017 11:20 am Event: Tr-Tr Mon Sxt Mar Description: Transiting Moon Sextile Transiting Mars We are more courageous and able to take the lead. We are in tune with our natural desires and instincts. We express our feelings honestly. We are independent, resourceful, and brave.
Date & Time: Jun 20 2017 4:00 pm Event: Tr-Tr Mon Qnx Jup Description: Transiting Moon Quincunx Transiting Jupiter Watch for moody decisions and excesses now.
Date & Time: Jun 20 2017 4:09 pm Event: Tr-Tr Mon Tri Jun Description: Transiting Moon Trine Transiting Juno We can gain strength through others or through our relationships, and we are especially comfortable in one-on-one situations.
Date & Time: Jun 20 2017 4:37 pm Event: Tr-Tr Mon SSq Mer Description: Transiting Moon SemiSquare Transiting Mercury What feels right clashes with logic today. What people are saying may be a misrepresentation of their true feelings/emotions. It’s better to think before we speak, or misunderstandings can follow.
Date & Time: Jun 20 2017 4:41 pm Event: Tr-Tr Mon SSq Chi Description: Transiting Moon SemiSquare Transiting Chiron Hurt feelings may be opportunities for healing. Now is the time for building bridges, not burning them.
Date & Time: Jun 20 2017 5:24 pm Event: Tr-Tr Mon Sxt Nep Description: Transiting Moon Sextile Transiting Neptune This is a feel-good time if we allow ourselves to relax and tune into the subtle aspects of life – art, nature, beauty, dreams, and spiritual realms. We absorb things easily, our senses are in good form, and we more naturally accept things and people as they are. There is no need to look for definite answers right now.
Date & Time: Jun 20 2017 6:12 pm Event: Tr-Tr Mon SSq Sun Description: Transiting Moon SemiSquare Transiting Sun What we feel and what we think we should do can be at odds with one another temporarily. There can be discontent or indecisiveness. We could be feeling out of sorts. Tensions will pass.
Date & Time: Jun 20 2017 6:24 pm Event: Tr-Tr Mon Cnj Ven Description: Transiting Moon Conjunction Transiting Venus We are less inhibited and more willing to indulge ourselves. Love and romance can be favorable. Decorating, beauty treatments, the arts, creative pursuits, parties, dates, and recreation are generally favored now. There is increased sensitivity, affection, and warmth. Love is grand! Affection, love, and romance are in the air.
Date & Time: Jun 20 2017 11:52 pm Event: Tr-Tr Mon Sqr Ves Description: Transiting Moon Square Transiting Vesta We can be a little stiff with our emotions, and we can be distracted from our work or focus. There can be difficulty expressing tenderness, concern, or care.
Date & Time: Jun 20 2017 5:30 am Event: Tr-Tr Mer Sxt Ura Description: Transiting Mercury Sextile Transiting Uranus Intensity of mind. Experimental attitude. Expression of radical or unusual viewpoints. Technical interest. Inventiveness.
Date & Time: Jun 20 2017 8:00 am Event: Tr-Tr Mer Sxt Pal Description: Transiting Mercury Sextile Transiting Pallas We are expressing ourselves more clearly and are more able to instruct others. There is a pronounced ability to order our thoughts and ideas and to recognize patterns. We can enjoy making plans, lists, and connections now.
Date & Time: Jun 20 2017 5:01 pm Event: Tr-Tr Mer Sqr Chi Description: Transiting Mercury Square Transiting Chiron Memories and dreams are strong right now. It is time to forgive and forget. There can be less confidence in our decisions, temporarily. Words, or lack of, can hurt right now. There is greater sensitivity to what is being said, choice of words, and syntax.
Date & Time: Jun 20 2017 4:25 am Event: Tr-Tr Ven Sxt Nep Description: Transiting Venus Sextile Transiting Neptune We are more sensitive to one another’s feelings and needs, and more aware of our higher or non-material needs at this time.
Date & Time: Jun 20 2017 10:04 pm Event: Tr-Tr Mar SSq Nod Description: Transiting Mars SemiSquare Transiting North Node Slow down for a moment and reassess your life goals. Are you on the right path or do you need to change direction?
Strong Signs, Elements, Modes TAURUS STRONG Stable and enduring, strong values, unyielding, earthy, acquisitive, strong desires. Can be stuck, stubborn, overly possessive, self-indulgent. GEMINI STRONG Agile, versatile, inquisitive, flowing, conversational, airy, many ideas. Can be volatile, superficial, changeable, restless and inconsistent.
BALANCE OF ELEMENTS
FIRE WEAK We are not very goal-oriented right now, or motivation to pursue our goals may be waning/lacking. Changes feel overwhelming. Enthusiasm may be low, we argue less, and we think more than we take action.
BALANCE OF MODES
The modes are balanced.
LUNAR PHASE: THIRD QUARTER Moon from 90 to 45 degrees behind the Sun. We have strong beliefs and are likely to put them into action. We have the wisdom to know when to act, but sometimes can be inflexible.
The following aspects (major only) and positions are at noon (EDT) on June 20th: Note that when an aspect is applying, it has not yet happened but is within orb – it’s pending. When an aspect is separating, it has already happened/perfected and is moving away from the aspect. Depending on the speed of the planet/body involved, the aspect will have perfected–or will perfect–in a matter of hours (often the case with the Moon), days, months, and possibly years in the case of the very slow-moving outer planets and bodies.
Note that the Moon moves at a rate of approximately one degree every 2 hours, so that if an aspect involving the Moon is applying and has an orb of 5 degrees, the aspect will perfect (be exact) in about 10 hours. If the Moon is separating from an aspect with an orb of 2 degrees, it has already formed said aspect approximately 4 hours ago (since the following are positions at noon today, then it would have occurred at about 8 AM today).
**I suggest paying close attention to applying  aspects. The energy of the aspect builds as it gets closer to exact. Once an aspect involving inner planets has happened, it’s over.  Separating aspects are good to know for context, but in terms of energy that is with us today, applying aspects are most important. (This is the case for daily astrology influences involving inner planets, which pass quickly, and not natal astrology aspects, which are with us for a lifetime).
THE MOON
THE MOON IN TAURUS This is a time for settling in, establishing and maintaining routines, and consolidating existing projects. We are building and developing. We crave predictability, stability, and security. This time favors ongoing projects and activities more than new ones.
11TH DEGREE OF TAURUS Part of Body: Cervical and brachial plexi Sabian Symbol: A woman sprinkling flowers.
ASPECTS OF THE MOON CONJUNCTION VENUS Orb 3°38′ Applying We are less inhibited and more willing to indulge ourselves. Decorating, beauty treatments, the arts, creative pursuits, parties, dates, and recreation are generally favored now. There is increased sensitivity, affection, and warmth.
SEXTILE MARS Orb 0°22′ Separating We are more courageous and able to take the lead. We are in tune with our natural desires and instincts. We express our feelings honestly, and are more independent, resourceful, or brave.
QUINCUNX JUPITER Orb 2°27′ Applying Watch for moody decisions and excesses now.
SEXTILE NEPTUNE Orb 3°18′ Applying This is a feel-good time if we allow ourselves to relax and tune into the subtle aspects of life – art, nature, beauty, dreams, and spiritual realms. We absorb things easily, our senses are in good form, and we more naturally accept things and people as they are. There is no need to look for definite answers right now.
TRINE PLUTO Orb 7°38′ Applying We can be quite focused now, driven by our goals and ambitions and motivated to put problems behind us. We might happily pour ourselves into a current passion or interest, and could find it easy to get to the bottom of things.
THE SUN
THE SUN IN GEMINI You are curious, communicative, versatile and talkative. You may be unreliable and evasive.
30TH DEGREE OF GEMINI Part of Body: Fifth rib Sabian Symbol: Bathing beauties before large beach crowds.
ASPECTS OF THE SUN CONJUNCTION MERCURY Orb 1°08′ Applying Thoughts and communications about ourselves and our goals. We are expressing ourselves confidently, directly, and clearly.
OPPOSITION SATURN Orb 5°23′ Separating You feel that forces are against you in life. You are always stopped from doing what you want. As a child, a father figure, may have been strict and imposing. As an adult you continue to feel this restrictions. You may also fear pushing beyond the restrictions. Your challenge is to create your own rules and beliefs on which to build your life.
SEXTILE URANUS Orb 1°44′ Separating You will have the opportunity to express your individuality and unique talents.
SQUARE CHIRON Orb 0°41′ Separating We can feel especially vulnerable to criticism or fear rejection now, or could struggle with a situation where we may need to humble ourselves. People or circumstances may seem to be exposing or playing on our vulnerabilities.
MERCURY
MERCURY IN GEMINI We are curious, communicative, sociable, and possibly easily distracted. We are mentally versatile and adaptable.
29TH DEGREE OF GEMINI Part of Body: Fourth rib Sabian Symbol: The first mockingbird of spring sings from the tree top.
ASPECTS OF MERCURY OPPOSITION SATURN Orb 4°14′ Separating You have difficulty expressing yourself. As a child you believe your father was critical and judged you lacking in intelligence. As an adult you have trouble believing in your ability to communicate and stand up for your own beliefs.
SEXTILE URANUS Orb 0°35′ Separating We are mentally alert and aware, and might be experimenting or opening our minds to new ideas. We could be feeling inspired, and our thinking is inventive. Varying our usual routine may be rewarding.
SQUARE CHIRON Orb 0°27′ Applying There can be insecurity about our own ideas or decisions, or we may not know who/what to believe. Words, or lack of, can hurt right now. There is greater sensitivity to what is being said, choice of words, and syntax.
VENUS
VENUS IN TAURUS For you romance and reliability go hand in hand. You approach relationships slowly and steadily, looking for someone who will prove solid and secure. You enjoy sensuality, and are reliable with finances.
15TH DEGREE OF TAURUS Part of Body: Epiglottis Sabian Symbol: A man with rakish silk hat, muffled, braves the storm.
ASPECTS OF VENUS QUINCUNX JUPITER Orb 1°11′ Separating You like to have the approval of other people. You need to make adjustments in your life so that you can be generous and warm-hearted regardless of others’ opinions.
SEXTILE NEPTUNE Orb 0°19′ Separating You and a romantic and gentle partner. You like to share creative pursuits in your relationships.
TRINE PLUTO Orb 4°00′ Applying We’re a better judge of value right now — who and what are important to us. We might see one another, and our relationships, in a different light. We could reconnect with someone or improve an existing bond. We could be up for a challenge now. Increased insight in relationships, with money, and in business.
MARS
MARS IN CANCER We are less likely to move straightforwardly towards our desires now. Our emotional moods especially affect the pursuit of our goals. We are a little more cautious and conservative under this influence, but we will fight for, about, or on behalf of those people and things that are dearest to our heart.
11TH DEGREE OF CANCER Part of Body: Gastric veins Sabian Symbol: A clown making grimaces.
ASPECTS OF MARS SQUARE JUPITER Orb 2°49′ Applying Our fighting, defending spirits are strong. We might be on a crusade. We could be too quick to take offense or to make judgments. Avoid unnecessary conflict and overreaching. Direct excess energy into positive enterprises for positive results rather than adding more to your agenda.
TRINE NEPTUNE Orb 3°41′ Applying Inspiration might be found now, and our intuition is strong. There can be letting go of anger, or a softening of the disposition. Creative arts, particularly physical ones, are favored.
JUPITER
JUPITER IN LIBRA You have a strong concern for justice. You are a diplomatic teacher, and express your spiritual values in your relationships.
14TH DEGREE OF LIBRA Part of Body: Left inguinal lymph nodes Sabian Symbol: A noon siesta.
ASPECTS OF JUPITER QUINCUNX NEPTUNE Orb 0°51′ Applying You feel a call to serve others perhaps through a profession or through religion. You will need to learn what is reasonable to do for others, and what is over stepping the boundary of your responsibility.
SQUARE PLUTO Orb 5°11′ Applying You will need to learn to have confidence in yourself even when life deals you a few blows. You range from over confident to completely lacking in confidence. The truth lies somewhere in between.
SATURN
SATURN IN SAGITTARIUS Saturn in Sagittarius asks us to take on the responsibility of living according to our personal truths and principles — and to be loyal to these. This is a time for turning a critical eye to those beliefs and principles that don’t accurately reflect our authentic selves. (December 23, 2014, to June 14, 2015, then September 17, 2015, to December 20, 2017)
25TH DEGREE OF SAGITTARIUS Part of Body: Condyles of right femur Sabian Symbol: A chubby boy on a hobbyhorse.
ASPECTS OF SATURN TRINE URANUS Orb 3°39′ Separating You have a talent for investigation. You look at new ideas and are able then to put them into action. In business you achieve much in your own independent way.
SQUARE CHIRON Orb 4°41′ Separating There can be fears now of not being competent or effective enough to meet our responsibilities, or we could find it hard to strike out on a unique path, again due to fears or insecurities. The desire to break from the status quo is strong, but we may not have the necessary confidence to do so. We may have difficulties empathizing with others and understanding ourselves.
URANUS
URANUS IN ARIES The urge to start fresh, to break free from restrictive attitudes or circumstances, to totally redesign an area of our lives (or even our personalities), and to gain freedom through independence is strong during this cycle. (May 27, 2010, to August 13, 2010, then March 11th, 2011, to May 15, 2018, then November 6, 2018, to March 6, 2019).
28TH DEGREE OF ARIES Part of Body: Fornix/parietal and occipital bones Sabian Symbol: A large disappointed audience.
NEPTUNE
NEPTUNE IN PISCES A long-term influence in which fantasy, imagination, compassion, and spirituality are in stronger focus. (April 4, 2011, to August 4, 2011, then February 3, 2012, to March 30, 2025, then October 22, 2025, to January 26, 2026)
15TH DEGREE OF PISCES Part of Body: Left cutaneous veins Sabian Symbol: An officer preparing to drill his men.
PLUTO
PLUTO IN CAPRICORN Tests of our boundaries; breaking down and rebuilding structures and rules. (From January 25, 2008, to June 14, 2008, then November 26, 2008, to March 23, 2023, then June 11, 2023, to January 20, 2024, then September 1, 2024, to November 19, 2024).
19TH DEGREE OF CAPRICORN Part of Body: Ligaments of left knee Sabian Symbol: A child of about five with a huge shopping bag.
Chiron, Major Asteroids, and Moon’s Nodes: in Sign and in Aspect CHIRON
CHIRON IN PISCES
Strong awareness of our own vulnerabilities and humanity stimulates compassion for others. (April 20 to July 20, 2010, then February 8, 2011, to April 17, 2018, then September 25, 2018, to February 18, 2019).
29TH DEGREE OF PISCES Part of Body: Toenails of right foot Sabian Symbol: A prism.
VESTA
VESTA IN LEO You work most creatively when left to your own devices. You feel pride in your work and can be inspired by romance and fun. Play and work are closely linked for you.
19TH DEGREE OF LEO Part of Body: Ventricular septum Sabian Symbol: A houseboat party.
PALLAS
PALLAS IN ARIES You have a keen intellect with the ability to come up with exciting, new ideas. You are also happy to risk putting your new ideas into action.
29TH DEGREE OF ARIES Part of Body: Auditory canal Sabian Symbol: A celestial choir singing.
JUNO
JUNO IN CAPRICORN You want a partner who you can respect, and who respects you. You seek long-term commitment and may marry later in life.
14TH DEGREE OF CAPRICORN Part of Body: Right knee cartilage Sabian Symbol: An ancient bas-relief carved in granite.
CERES
CERES IN GEMINI You like those close to you to share their feelings and thoughts and to listen to you. You share information with your loved ones to show them you care. You will suffer when others refuse to talk.
22ND DEGREE OF GEMINI Part of Body: Upper arm Sabian Symbol: Dancing couples crowd the barn in a harvest festival.
THE NORTH NODE
THE NORTH NODE IN LEO This a quest to develop your inner strength. You may find that you experience times of loneliness. These times are part of your lesson to forge your own creative life in order to give generously to the world.
26TH DEGREE OF LEO Part of Body: Myocardium Sabian Symbol: As light breaks through the clouds, a perfect rainbow forms.
THE SOUTH NODE
THE SOUTH NODE IN AQUARIUS This a quest to develop your inner strength. You may find that you experience times of loneliness. These times are part of your lesson to forge your own creative life in order to give generously to the world.
26TH DEGREE OF AQUARIUS Part of Body: Right fibula Sabian Symbol: A hydrometer.
*** CONJUNCTIONS TO SELECT FIXED STARS ***
Transits Jun 20, 2017 – Event Chart
Aspects to Sun 29°Ge30 +23°26′ Cnj 28°Ge59 BETELGEUSE *** Success which is not blocked. Cnj 28°Ge47 POLARIS To show the way.
Aspects to Mercury 28°Ge21 +24°23′ Cnj 28°Ge59 BETELGEUSE *** Success which is not blocked. Cnj 28°Ge47 POLARIS To show the way.
Aspects to Venus 14°Ta35 +13°37′ Cnj 14°Ta33 MENKAR — A victim of the Unconscious
Aspects to Chiron 28°Pi48 +03°05′ Cnj 29°Pi36 SCHEAT To be a thinker or intellect
Aspects to Ceres 21°Ge40 +22°55′ Cnj 22°Ge05 CAPELLA Love of movement Cnj 22°Ge24 PHACT To quest adventure. Cnj 21°Ge10 BELLATRIX ** Success through the Shadow.
Share this:EMAILFACEBOOK1TWITTERTUMBLRGOOGLEREDDIT Filed Under: DAILY ASTROLOGY, TODAY Tagged With: JUNE 20, MERCURY SEXTILE PALLAS, MERCURY SEXTILE URANUS, MERCURY SQUARE CHIRON, VENUS SEXTILE NEPTUNE  Comments Grace says Jun 19, 2017 at 2:23 pm Hi, I read your horoscopes every day and they are the best ones I have found so far. One little question, I live in Europe, so converting between time zones is a bit tricky for each aspect. Will it be difficult to add some calculator, so that timing is adjusted automatically? Thanks very much and keep up the amazing work! You truly are talented in explaining the effects of the celestial bodies on our lives. Reply Leave a Reply   Search the site ... Search CAFE ASTROLOGY
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brainfoodgp · 8 years ago
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Brain Food Garden Project Blog February/2017
“If you have a garden and a library, you have everything you need.”  –Cicero-
Reading has been important to me from my earliest childhood memory. My grandmother taught me to read when I was very young and gave me my first “big boy” series of books, 9 lovely stories of early prairie life starting with Little House in the Big Woods, as a gift when I graduated kindergarten. My first and lasting literary memory is of a little Laura Ingalls playing a game of throwing a hot pigs bladder, like a ball with other children, after the seasonal slaughter and preserving of the pig of course. Now that’s a memory you want sticking with you for the rest of your life…right?
When you are bullied as a child for being different or not behaving exactly the same way everyone else behaves you look for any means of escape. You don’t at eight years old identify diving with the Nautilus for deep sea adventures or escaping pirates on Treasure Island as a “wellness tool.” However, at 44 when you are waving your wand around at a Death Eater for let’s  hypothetically say the millionth time, reading the Harry Potter series, it is probably time to make the connection…OK!
All joking aside, the importance of reading for me is one of my most important wellness tools. And that is why this month’s feature section is a short list for some of the books that keep me going or informed me in some way or that I discovered at that perfect moment in time. In “Notes From The Resistance” this month, we continue to share some important and relevant news stories about the current state of our democracy. And who says a healthy meal can’t be decadent. One of or BFGP gardening family members brought this Cauliflower Crust Grilled Cheese Sandwich to our attention. Every time I make it I’ll thank Ruth Gendreau Bennett and trust me when I say you will too. Whatever you read in the coming months I hope you are entertained, educated or inspired to change the world to make it a better place. Happy reading.
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The BFGP Feature:
So many books so little time. These are a list of books that I have been reading since the election in November until now. Next month I will bring back the “What I’m Reading” section but all of these books listed in this feature are books that literally have helped keep me focused and have worked their magic to keep me mentally healthy.
In A First-Rate Madness: Uncovering the Links Between Leadership and Mental Illness by Dr. Nassir Ghaemi a book I read several years ago that I picked up and started  re reading after the outcome of the election. This amazing read helped to prepare me for what was to come with the new leader of the free world being a fascist authoritarian. Dr. Ghaemi breaks down the leadership styles of many historical figures to showcase how their mental health concerns, if there had been such a diagnosis in their time, contributed or hindered their leadership styles. It is a fascinating read that covers Lincoln to Kennedy and Gandhi to Hitler.
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Long before my hero Khizr Khan offered to loan the fascist his copy of The United States Constitution at the Democratic National Convention in Philadelphia. I myself have been carrying around my own copy of the Constitution for years. There is no better sword for fighting ignorance in those that probably haven’t read the document since high school government class. You want to argue why our founding father’s wanted to build a “Christian nation” let me slap you down with their own words. You don’t understand why the fascists contempt and suppression of our free press is Unconstitutional please let me introduce you to Amendment 1 of the Bill of Rights. You think all Americans should have the right to bare semi-automatic weapons let me introduce you to the actual second amendment. I can’t help but feel if more Americans carried around a copy of the US Constitution instead of a gun we all might be better off for it.
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Books have always had this magical way of finding me just when I am at my lowest and always in the most unexpected ways. In this scenario picking up a book from my mother’s bookshelf that I had never read and sent her as a Mother’s Day gift. Relationships between mothers and sons can often be challenging even difficult. However, add a Christian fundamentalist mother to a gay, bipolar activist son and life is often combustible. The Rainbow Comes and Goes by: Anderson Cooper and his mom Gloria Vanderbilt entered my life at the perfect time. Although their story is far different than my mothers and my story. It made me realize that even the best mother and son relationships have limitations. It is how we deal with those limitations that make us stronger.
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The Book of Joy By: His Holiness the Dali Lama and the Archbishop Desmond Tutu was a gift from a friend waiting for me after the long holiday break. Reading their discussions and breakdown of the 8 pillars of joy helped me through a growing depression that could have gotten much worse. The four pillars of the mind: perspective, humility, humor and acceptance and the four pillars of the heart: forgiveness, gratitude, compassion and generosity continues to heal me every day. One of the books greatest teachings that I am still processing is you cannot truly have forgiveness unless you are fully capable of total acceptance of things you have absolutely no control over.
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Gardening as everyone reading this blog knows is one of my greatest wellness tools it is the very foundation that Brain Food Garden Project is built on. Starting my first two Farm School classes in January and February—Food Justice and Botany opened up many lines of questions for me. The reading material that accompanied each class opened my eyes to new ideas and concepts that I had been thinking about for a long time but provided answers in a completely different context. Beyond the Kale: Urban Agriculture and Social Justice Activism in New York City By: Kristen Reynolds and Nevin Cohen, Symbiotic Planet: A New Look At Evolution By: Lynn Margulis, Botany for Gardeners By: Brian Capon and A Botanist’s Vocabulary By: Susan K. Pell and Bobbi Angell. I am grateful to the teachers that provided these resources, answered my questions and inspired many more questions that only I can answer for myself.
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One of the reasons I love gardening so much is its ability to make us all more mindful. I have been revisiting a book I read many years ago in preparation to introducing the material to my garden club members this season at ACMH. The book Digging Deep: Unearthing Your Creative Roots Through Gardening By: Fran Sorin. This lovely book with wonderful exercises helped me to envision my best self at a time I needed it most. Now I’ll see if Sorin’s message will inspire others.
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Reading has brought me greater empathy for others, a deeper understanding of my true inner self and immense joy and pleasure throughout my life. During dark and difficult times books have lifted me up making it easy to embrace reading as a cherished tool for recovery. If any of the books I discussed here find their way onto your reading list drop me a message and let me know about your thoughts. I started this writing with the line so many books so little time. I plan on getting through as many wonderful books as I can before I take my final breath! Reading truly brings me infinite joy.
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Notes From The Resistance:
So we are 15 weeks in and the fascist authoritarian party (formally known as Republicans) have been busy. They have enacted an un Constitutional ban on Muslim immigrants and citizens in many cases. They have ended protections in schools to stop bullying and keep our Transgender kids protected. They are working overtime to kill The Affordable Care Act taking vital insurance or limiting resources for some 20 million Americans. These are some stories from the front lines over the past month. We must never normalize any of this hatred we must keep fighting and resist.
1.)  The regime still continues to attack science any way they can… Click here
2.)  Many of us living with mental health concerns cringe a little when we hear people refer to the fascist leader as mentally ill. This article sums up those feelings… Click here
3.)  The protests over the fascists police state immigration round up continues as “detention” camps and private prisons profit… Click here
4.)  The big Agriculture farmers that voted for the fascist are starting to have doubts over his leadership… Cick here
5.) Guns let’s put them in the hands of our most vulnerable citizens sound like a good idea?… Click here 
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Healthy & Delicious Recipes:
When I curl up with a good book on a rainy afternoon nothing makes the day even more perfect than sipping and munching two of my childhood favorites a cup of tomato soup and a grilled cheese sandwich! You know cauliflower is one of my favorite brain foods and this recipe for a Cauliflower Crusted Grilled Cheese Sandwich is going to become one of your favorites, trust me.
Ingredients
Makes 2 grilled cheese sandwiches
Cauliflower crust “bread” slices
1 small head cauliflower, cut into small florets (should yield 3 cups of cauliflower rice)
1 free-range organic egg, lightly beaten
½ cup / 1.7 oz / 50 gr shredded mozzarella cheese
½ teaspoon fine grain sea salt
¼ teaspoon ground black pepper
Grilled cheese
1 tablespoon butter, room temperature
⅓ cup / 3 oz / 85 gr sharp cheddar cheese, grated/shredded, room temperature
Directions
Cauliflower crust “bread” slices
Preheat oven to 450°F (220°C) and place a rack in the middle.
Line a baking sheet with parchment paper and liberally grease it with olive oil. Set aside.
In a food processor rice the cauliflower florets (it should be evenly chopped but not completely pulverized).
Transfer cauliflower rice (about 3 cups) to a microwave-safe dish and microwave on high for 8 minutes, until cooked.
Place the cauliflower rice in a tea towel and twist it to squeeze as much moisture as you can (I usually squeeze out over a cup of liquid). This is very important. The cauliflower rice needs to be dry, otherwise you’ll end up with mushy dough, impossible to use as slices of bread.
Transfer the cauliflower rice to a mixing bowl, add egg, mozzarella, salt and pepper and mix well.
Spread cauliflower mixture onto the lined baking sheet and shape into 4 square.
Place in the oven and bake for about 16 minutes until golden.
Remove and let cool 10 minutes before peeling them off the parchment paper (be careful not to break them!)
Assemble cauliflower crust grilled cheese
Heat a pan over medium heat.
Butter one side of each slice of cauliflower crust bread (preferably the top part).
Place one slice of bread in the pan, buttered side down, sprinkle on the cheese and top with the remaining slice of cauliflower crust bread, buttered side up.
Turn the heat down a notch and cook until golden brown, about 2 to 4 minutes.
Gently flip and cook until golden brown on the other side, about 2 to 4 minutes.
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valheartandfriendsllc · 5 years ago
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Highly Sensitive People & Empaths Have Unique Gifts
Why Highly Sensitive People and Empaths Have Unique Gifts
Do you feel things very intensely?
Are you one of the highly sensitive people who can sense when others are experiencing extreme emotional turmoil or joy…but aren’t talking about it?
Perhaps, like me, you’re a Highly Sensitive Empath.
The sheer volume of energy, emotion and information received can feel overwhelming, exhausting and confusing. But once you understand how to navigate your heightened sense of intuitive awareness of the emotions, thoughts and events around you, it can lead to wonderful experiences.
Unlike non-sensitives, you can discover and enjoy the richness of the unspoken energetic dialogues the people, pets and world around you are having every day.
via GIPHY
It’s okay to be an empath.
I knew very early in my childhood that I was one of the highly sensitive people who are often labeled as empaths.
Unfortunately, we’re also labeled at best as aberrant… at worst as flawed.  Those who do not understand or feel what we feel can subject us to ridicule and criticism.  They don’t know what we know, and don’t have the challenges we have.
Well, at least I was. 
Growing up, people around me confused the heck out of me because I knew when they were lying. I also knew when they were attacking me energetically.  I knew when things weren’t nearly as safe or harmonious as everyone was pretending they were…it was unnerving to say the least.
My family dismissed my intuition, denied and invalidated me at every turn. I had highly intelligent, wonderful parents, but they didn’t have room in their heads or hearts to acknowledge that I was given a gift of deep knowledge. I was forced to conform, as they had, to maintain the superficial veneer of polite society at large.
What ensued was a frustrating journey – seeking a place to put all my knowledge, seeking a Faith that gave me peace – that ultimately led to manic depression and thoughts of suicide. And I was just a teenager.
In my 20’s I met a psychic counselor who taught me that it was okay to be an empath. I learned to meditate, and began to feel validated and respected for the first time in my life.  
And so my wonderful journey began.
And yours can, too…
Learn to use your highly sensitive empathic gifts for the greatest good – for yourself and others
Highly sensitive people and empaths have an amazing opportunity in their lives. The gift of empathic ability is a remarkable strength and a way to connect with others at such a deep, profound level… when you know how to use it well and wisely.
You will learn the techniques to harness your abilities in my classes.  Like me you could even become an animal communicator or pet psychic yourself. 
In the meantime, here is a brief explanation of two important tools you’ll need on your journey. They will help you navigate daily life with greater peace and contentment.
Compartmentalization
Every so often I end up working with someone who seems determined to deny and undermine the Truths I’m speaking.  
For instance, this can happen when I communicate the messages their pet is trying to share with them, and they’ll reject the messages out of hand. 
This can feel deflating, exhausting and tiring… IF I let them attack me.  
Why do they do that?  
Here’s the thing:  Animals don’t lie, and energy never lies.  
But, people often do. 
For many reasons.  Perhaps they fear being vulnerable, appearing weak, or having their secrets known.  They could also just be out of touch with themselves. Perhaps they never questioned their thinking or feelings beyond the most superficial of understandings.  
They don’t have a clue about what makes them tick, they feel more comfortable with appearances, preferring shallow interactions.  They wear social identity masks like at a costume party, afraid to have anyone see them for who they truly are.  They have developed no real depth or self confidence in their true nature and character.  
They can feel resistant, angry, afraid.  Sometimes they lash out as a form of self defense.  
Like when in the Wizard of Oz when the Wizard calls out to Dorothy when she discovers the truth about who the Wizard actually is, “Don’t look at that man behind the curtain! Ignore him!!” 
That’s when it’s best to compartmentalize the experience. 
I acknowledge it – sometimes to myself, sometimes out loud – and then I place it on the back burner. I remain in my place of calm, centeredness and connection. I resist the urge to implode and collapse into a space of self-doubt and self-recrimination, or to try to defend myself.  
The highly sensitive person’s job is to hold the space for truth to be known and understood from a non-judgmental, non-arrogant, peaceful place of knowing.
As an animal communicator, part of the job is to be the voice for the animals.  To offer their truth in peace with the intention for the highest good for all concerned. 
The truth is the truth.  
We each of us get to choose what to do with it when we hear and receive it.  Accept, grow, heal, and evolve…?  Or deny, prefabricate, defend, pretend… in which case, I can promise you that you’ll circle back around to this later when you’re ready to be more honest with yourself.  
For me, I renew my efforts to maintain a true, deep, positive connection with the animal, to keep that sacred link between us unencumbered by outside influences.
When I do, I feel lighter. I’m better able to focus on the task at hand: listening intently to the messages the horse, dog, cat, bird or chameleon is trying to share with we the people.
Energetic shielding
Highly sensitive people and empaths must have a highly fortified energetic shield – the protective outer rim or edge of your energy field. It’s most often on autopilot, but we can programmed it to fulfill specific needs. 
Here’s what I mean…
Years ago I had an extremely unsettling experience with a woman who had made it a personal mission to rescue as many animals as possible.  I had agreed to communicate with them, but she rejected all my communication efforts as inadequate. The woman made it clear that I was not telling her what she really wanted to know even though I answered her spoken questions each and every one. 
Confused and frustrated, I asked that she tell me what it was that she really wanted to know, and to be clearer.
On my next – and last – visit at her farm she presented me with a written list of over 100 questions she wanted me to ask the animals. 
She wanted me to explore their understanding of her religious, dogmatic Christian Faith…and ultimately persuade the animals that her beliefs were right.  She had no room or consideration for the animal’s beliefs, philosophies or wisdom.  And she had no respect for what they knew that she didn’t. 
I made an effort to again answer her questions as honestly and truthfully as I could, but eventually I gave up. There was no point in continuing the exercise on her terms…it wasn’t going to get her, or the animals, anywhere. 
Animals have their own set of beliefs
You can’t force them to believe someone else’s, especially if they don’t agree with the ideology.
I ended the session as peacefully and truthfully as I could, and left.  
Shortly afterward, I started to notice that my energy field was under attack. I felt drained, anxious. I had a dark cloud of negativity hovering over me…I even started to feel physical pain.
An exploration of my psychic space revealed that this woman was actively attacking me with angry, harmful curses and hexes.  
I also noticed how wounded I felt, how rejected and misunderstood and disrespected. My energy shield was in tatters.
During this inner exploration, I realized that many of my old childhood wounds had been triggered. I went to work making peace with the past and forgiving myself…and her. And I felt gratitude for how she was helping me heal, evolve, and grow.
Finally, because I felt at the time that she really needed a wake-up call – a dose of compassion, an extra measure of Divine Grace and love, and a whole lot of help – I mirrored the outer surface of my shield so it reflected back whatever she threw at me… tenfold.
It wasn’t long before I started to feel much better, lighter, no longer under attack. I had successfully repaired my shield and healed another layer within. 
Highly sensitive people and empaths have a highly valuable gift
If you sense that you’re empathic like me, you have a golden opportunity to channel your energies and help yourself, as well as the people and pets around you, live a fulfilling, happy, healthy life. 
Exploring the depths and range of emotions, feelings, and experiences…especially with animals, who are so often misunderstood and ignored is a powerful healing gift. All animals are sentient spiritual beings with thoughts and feelings of their own.
You can learn many ways to communicate with them with my online courses, and give them the voice they deserve.
If you would like help healing, evolving and growing into your best self, then I highly recommend working with me so I can help you do exactly that.  
Enjoyed this article? Here are three more to help you:
Are You Highly Sensitive and/or Empathic? Being A Dog Whisperer Comes In Handy! How Animal Connection Can Heal Our Own Wounds and Trauma
The post Highly Sensitive People & Empaths Have Unique Gifts appeared first on Val Heart.
from Val Heart https://valheart.com/highly-sensitive-people-empaths-have-unique-gifts/
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notesfromthepen · 6 years ago
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Freewill And Determinism
Because the meaning of language is subjective, words can fail to give an all encompassing universal meaning that is equally understood and accepted by each unique individual. This is especially true when dealing with the metaphysical, with the entirely real but physically intangible, with things that sit out side of space time, with the deepest of ideas. And in recognition of this flaw inherent in language. I must make this disclaimer: Some of the words I use to label or describe these things are simply pragmatic. They are the handles I put on the intangible so that I can get ahold of them long enough to explore them.
Please feel free to interchange the words that fit for you. If need be, Use your own handles to grab these deepest of ideas. In one circumstance I may say "true self" and in another I may say "God" and in another "divinity" or "true nature" and though I use different words for different occasions they are all one in the same and part of the whole. How do you pin down and define the eternal and the infinite? Imperfectly, that's how. With that being said and without further adieu:
FREEWILL is not a Given.
Freewill: A voluntary choice or decision.
Determinism: A doctrine, that acts of the will, natural events, or social changes are determined by preceding events or natural causes.
Because most of us are familiar with freewill, I'll start with determinism. A growing doctrine supported by many scientists, materialists, and intellectuals. Determinism challenges the stronghold of the long accepted idea of freewill. Determinism states that freewill is an illusion. That every "choice" you make is, in reality, just the natural and inevitable result of your previous experiences and make-up. It states that your choice of what to order for lunch, or whether or not to run a red light, only feels like a choice made of your own volition. Determinism argues that if an experiment could be created that exactly replicated every one of your previous experiences, in exactly the same order, you would always make the same "choice" to have pizza for lunch or to run the red light.
Freewill, on the other hand is much easier to explain. It states: That we as conscious beings have an innate and voluntary choice in the decisions and circumstances that face us. Freewill leaves the universe open and possibilities loose. Though on the same day that you choose pizza, freewill allows the possibility that you could have just as easily chosen to have a plate of green eggs and ham and rather than run the red light you could have decided to do doughnuts in the intersection.
For reasons that should be obvious freewill offers a soft comfortable place to rest our heads. An idea that places us at the controls of our existence. Determinism isn't such a pleasant reality to lay your head on. Its hard, cold, and sterile. No room for humanities highest attributes.
Like most things in life the reality lies not exclusively in either extreme but in a commingling mixture of the two.
Does freewill exist? Yes.
Does determinism also exist? Yes.
But neither exists in an absolute and all encompassing form. One doesn't negate the other.
Though freewill exists, it is not guaranteed. It is given to us but in a partially dormant state. We posses the potentiality of freewill. We are equipped with the tools to be free, to consciously choose. But the responsibility lies with us to develop the ability and skills to properly use them.
For most people the decisions they make, decisions that they assume are rooted in a truly freewill, is just an illusion. A comforting story that they tell themselves and choose to believe. Asleep at the wheel, far too many of the choices we make aren't made by us at all. They are dictated by our past experiences, our fears, and desires. These motivators are all received in the brain and acted upon as impulses. 
This determinism plays out in cyclical behavior patterns all around us. The sexually abused kid who grows up with the uncontrollable impulse to repeat the abuse that was done to him. 
Determinism is the antithesis to conscious thought. It is reactionary and unchecked by self-awareness. As with the kid who grew up poor and is now willing to kill someone for fifty dollars. Here's the tricky part Even when we are in a reactionary deterministic state we are still technically awake, so our brain is active which gives us the feeling, the illusion, that we are conscious and freely making our decisions, even when we're not. 
Brain activity, the processing of stimuli, and simple thinking, don't equal a truly free will. Self awareness, insight, and an understanding of motivating factors and the way in which your mind works are the tools required for utilizing your freewill.
In our everyday state its rarely all or nothing. Most of us have moments of both deterministic behavior as well as true freewill. The full capability of a free will isn't equally active in all. Neither is a fully deterministic life.Though our natural state of limited self-awareness leans heavily in the direction of determinism. The degrees of ones position between the two extremes varies from person to person.
Your ability to truly exercise your free will is directly proportional to your level of self awareness and mindfulness. To obtain a consistent and meaningful use of your freewill you must adopt a disciplined, fearless, and dedicated practice of self examination. Freewill isn't free. It isn't a given. It is a skill that requires cultivation.
Impulse is both the enemy of freewill and the vehicle of determinism. When I was in the throws of my addiction, my decisions or choices were nothing more than an open door that impulse was free to walk through, unimpeded. Sure I constructed stories and inner-monologues to convince myself that I was the one in control. I believed that I was consciously making these decisions. But it was nothing more than a story I told myself. And behind it all was the Ego. If impulse is the vehicle of determinism then Ego is the motor that drives it all.
We all have deterministic weak points from which our freewill escapes us. My most glaring weakness was centered around substance abuse. Most peoples primary weak points, are some form of addiction. Addiction to sex, money, food, gambling, or adrenaline. You may instantly know where your weak point is or you may have to do some honest self searching to find out what it is that saps your self control. In any sense, this is a knowledge about yourself that you must come to if you wish to be awakened from deterministic slumber. 
These things are layered. The largest outer layer, like that of an onion, will be the easiest to recognize. But with every layer you successfully peal away, another more subtle layer will be waiting, until full self-awareness is reached and you go from utilizing freewill to becoming freewill. Though with every success along the way you will be rewarded with new insight, knowledge, strength, and the desire to continue progressing.
So how do we know when we are acting in a deterministic way or when we are using our conscious freewill? This is a tough question so forgive me for the vague nature of my answer: "you just will". To be a little more comprehensive I'd say: By increasing your self-awareness and honing the skills of honesty and truth you will become in-tuned with yourself to such a degree that the answer “You just will” will make sense.
To come, I will help to show you the path to opening up your communication with your True self. To become more attuned to this aspect of your true nature and to be able to listen to that voice. This will help you reach the point where "you will just know".
Before we move forward a more fundamental and important question needs answering. The first question of freewill, from which the spring of all future freewill flows, is this: Do you wish to be freed from the shackles of determinism and impulse, to utilize your right, responsibility, and duty of an actualized freewill, so that you may rise from the slumber of determinism and move consciously through life?
You may balk at this question and ask yourself: If Im not currently accessing my freewill how could my answer be anything but a determinist response? Have no fear. If you have questioned this apparent paradox then, in your critical thinking and doubt, you have cracked the code and taken the first step towards utilizing your freewill. Self examination, contemplation, and critical thinking. These are the keys to freewill. And if you haven't questioned this apparent paradox, it doesn't matter. How you get to the well doesn't affect the well's ability to quench your thirst.
However, before coming to an answer, let me make a suggestion: sit down in meditation and contemplate the many dimensions and aspects of the question, of yourself, and of the meaning and consequences of the choice you will make. Honestly ask yourself: are you actually ready to abandon excuses and the ability to coast, to drop the built in defense of ignorance and the comfort of slumber, to move towards a conscious life of freewill?  
There are many different types of meditation. I won't go into a comprehensive list of meditative practices here. That information is already out there, ready to be soaked up, and I suggest you look into it. I will give you this basic advice: Find a quiet place where you won't be interrupted. Come into the space with honesty and humility. Sit down and mentally state your intentions. Breathe steady measured breaths through your nose. Focus on your breath. Listen to yourself with love and compassion until your answer is revealed to you. Ask not for what you want but what you need.
With enough honest and vulnerable contemplation you will know when you have your answer. If you decide: No, I'm fine with the comforting illusion of freewill and a mostly deterministic existence. Then I wholeheartedly wish you the best and my heart aches for you. But I want you to know that these words and your potential will always be right here waiting for your return.
If your answer is yes, then my heart aches for you as well. For there is much work to be done.
Before deciding how, when, and where to utilize your freewill you must first uncover your purpose for a free will. To what end should your will be freed? To what destination are your guiding yourself? For without the answer to this question freewill is irrelevant. Freewill without direction is just another term for impulse fulfillment. Which we already know is movement in the direction of determinism.
Obviously I can't give you your purpose or goal. That is up to you and only you, to uncover. For any external purpose derived from another would not be worthy of your efforts and would eventually crumble under the weight of your accomplishments.
I will say this: certain levels of freewill can be gained with a variety of goals in mind; money, success, revenge, adoration, fame, power, unity, love, compassion, enlightenment and so on.
However, be very careful what you choose to place on the alter of freewill. For if it is a self-serving idol that you toil for you will be limited in the meaningful growth you can attain. 
The importance of choosing your purpose or goal with pure intention cannot be overstated and anything less than the loftiest goal is to miss the point. The highest form, the purest object to set your mind on, to place on your alter, is rooted in selfless love. With your intentions fixed on the loftiest of goals the heights attainable are unrivaled. When your intentions are refined and pure the universe will unfold to meet you.
To find your true purpose, the goal will direct your freewill towards, you must go inward and return to the well of meditation. For the truest form of freewill is not the choices of the external but of the internal.
Once your goal is revealed the next step is to prioritize. Where do you start? What choices are worth your efforts? Initially, how many sugars to have with your coffee should take a back seat to should I punch this guy in the face for bumping into me?
As you begin developing your self-awareness and mindfulness you should use your limited abilities only in the decisions important to reaching your goal.
At a certain point the extension of your freewill will merge with your meditative practice. The two will become so interdependent that to speak about one will be to reference the other. Everything covered in this book (and in life) is dependent on a consistent meditative practice. Any question you have, any uncertainty that arises, any doubt conjured, can and will be resolved through meditation. A disciplined approach must be taken up in the quest, to first: understand yourself and your mind. And finally: to master yourself and your mind. There is no way more effective or important to this monumental task than a serious meditative practice.
Meditation produces countless benefits. One of the earliest and most all encompassing aspects is the re-calibration of your inner dialogues. With enough practice and patience in meditation you will begin to turn down the volume on the cunning and deceptive ego voice. The voice pushing you towards impulse satisfaction and superficial pleasures. As the volume dims you will begin to perceive, ever so slightly, the voice of your true self. This voice is known by many names: God, your conscience, the Universe....your true voice. A voice that resides is us all.
The more progress you make in your meditative practice the easier it will become to tell the difference between the ego and your true voice.
This may be able to help to differentiate in the beginning stages: The Ego is based in the mind and speaks through justifications and subtle manipulations. It uses language and inner-monologue. It whispers in your ear like a devil on your shoulder. Its greatest trick is disguising itself as your own voice.
Your True voice, the one that has remained unchanged in tone and message over time. The same voice that guided you as a child, never wavering, into adulthood. A voice you can try to ignore but do so at your own peril. A voice you can try to muzzle but never successfully. A voice you can never lie too and never entirely silence. This voice comes from the pit of your chest and uses feeling, not words, to communicate with you. So many of us have spent years drowning out our True voice. And all the time the Ego voice grew louder and louder eventually learning to mimic your True voice in such a cunning way that it became nearly impossible to tell the difference. It will take time to re-tune yourself to this eternal voice. A voice that is timeless. The all knowing and loving voice that we have spent so much time rendering dormant.
With honest and humble intent you will again become fluent in deciphering that wordless communication that comes from the deepest well of your heart. It will never steer you wrong and the truest form of sin is to ignore its message.
Tune in and let your unfiltered nature guide you. Once you do this the pieces will begin to fall into place and this is how you will ultimately know which direction to exercise your will towards.
As with anything, the more work you put into the endeavor of becoming a conscious actor in the decisions that face you, the more control you will have at your disposal and the more clearly you will see both the choices, as well as the consequences of your decisions.
Eventually, with enough effort, even the seemingly unimportant decisions and circumstances will reveal themselves in their full context. As you purify your mind and exercise your freewill towards the achievement of your purpose you will begin to see the relation in every aspect of your life to the goal of your will. You will have moved from the life of a rudderless boat, aimlessly drifting and tossed about by the waves of impulse, to the life of an unsinkable ship with a determined and skilled captain on a charted course.
Freewill awaits you... but it’s not a given.
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