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banditthewriter · 5 years

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Misdial; Redial - Billy Russo

Prompt: Wrong Number AU: Reader is going through hard times and her friend gives her number to a guy who usually helps veterans but won't say no to a civilian. But instead of talking with a polite man named Curtis she ends up texting with a guy named Billy who's incredibly witty, funny and maybe gets attached to her but doesn't want to show his face. Prompter: Anonymous

So this is my 17k word oneshot because I got really inspired by this request. It took on a life of its own.

Warnings: Discussion of past sexual abuse. Smut. Immediate angst after smut? I don’t know if that deserves a warning or not. Just be kind to yourselves darlings.

Tags are at the bottom. Let me know if you would like to be added to one of my tag lists!

*gif is mine*

Enjoy!

*****

It had been a rough year. You'd faced unemployment, homelessness, sick family members. Some of your problems were a direct correlation to your ex, some of it was just bad timing. It didn't matter which was which; it was all pretty equally ducky.

Every time something got better, two things would go wrong again. It happened over and over for over a year until you weren't sure you could take it anymore.

“I can't do it anymore,” you cried as your best friend kept his arm around you. “I'm just so tired. Of all of this.”

Kenny tugged you into his chest, quietly shushing you.

“You're one of the strongest people I know. I know this stuff is hitting you from all sides, but you're not in this alone. We’ve got you.”

He meant your circle of friends who had taken turns hosting you while you tried to find an apartment. You finally found one only for it to be taken before you had the chance.

“I hate feeling like a burden,” you said as you wiped your tears.

“No burden here except Ethan’s gym socks,” he joked as he looked over to where his boyfriend's gym bag was resting. “If I didn't love the man, I'd throw the bag out into the dumpster.”

It made you giggle which was surely his intention. Once he was satisfied that you were done crying, he pulled back a bit. The look on his face told you that he was thinking about something.

“What is it?”

Kenny held up a finger. He stood up and made his way over to the desk in the corner of the living room.

“When Ethan came back from overseas, he was a mess. He couldn't find a job, couldn't settle into a routine. We almost didn't make it,” he admitted quietly as he sorted through the drawer. “He got in touch with this guy, Curtis Hoyle. He runs a group for vets, helps them find work and adjust. He's great. And he's also just a good ear to bend when you're down.”

He pulled out a small address book and started flipping through the pages as he made his way over to you.

“Maybe you could give him a call. Or a text, if you prefer.”

You were shaking your head before he finished his sentence.

“I wasn't… I'm not military, Ken.”

Kenny shrugged and flopped down beside you, still holding out the book.

“Neither was I but he talked me through losing my dad and my brother within about two months of each other. And that was when Ethan was deployed.”

You hesitated before you finally accepted the address book from him. On the page he had turned to was about two dozen names all smushed in together.

“How can you even read these?”

He laughed as he trailed his finger along a line. The phone number was a bit jumbled but you typed it into your phone as best you could.

“Who are these other people?”

“Some are guys Ethan served with. Some are guys he met in group with Curtis. That's Ethan’s boss,” he said as he pointed to a name that was basically just a B and then a smear of pen. “He met him through Curtis.”

You nodded as you glanced at the number in your phone. You weren't sure you'd use it, but if it made Kenny feel better to give it to you?

“I promise I'll be off your couch soon,” you said somewhat miserably. “I just have to keep looking.”

“Hey, I don't care about that. I just care about you.”

You tugged Kenny close to you so that you could rest your head on his shoulder.

“You're the best.”

“I know,” he said with a grin.

------

Your ex was the kind of guy who thought things were owed to him. Paul took what he wanted, damn the consequences. You'd liked that about him in theory. You had completely different feelings about it in reality.

You stayed because you thought you had to, that you wouldn't be able to survive without him. You left your apartment to move in with him. You lost your job because he'd make you call out and stay at home instead of going in. He stopped you from seeing your family.

It kept getting worse until he turned his attention on you. It took Kenny taking you to a crisis center and talking to a therapist to learn that saying yes because you're scared to say no is still rape. At that point you were done. Kenny, Ethan, your father, and one of Ethan’s buddies from work all showed up at the townhouse you shared with Paul to help you pack up your belongings.

There wasn't much. He'd made you sell a lot of it.

Once you were out, you had to work on getting your life put back together. It just didn't seem to work that way. You felt like you were always scrambling to make it.

But you had Kenny. You had Ethan. You had your family. You weren't doing it alone anymore.

------

The new job wasn't perfect, but it was better than nothing. And the pay was pretty good considering. You went to labs, medical offices, and other places in the city to check that they were disposing of their supplies correctly and that they followed all health guidelines.

You huffed out a sigh as you settled down into the booth at the diner near the job you were on today. As the waitress brought over your drink, you felt your phone buzz with a new text.

After you ordered your lunch, you checked the message. It was from Kenny.

Have you called Curtis yet?

You sighed again, this time out of fond exasperation as you tapped out your response.

No. I don't know how I feel about it. And I don't know that I need someone to talk to.

We all need someone to talk to.

Yeah but that's why I have you!

You put your phone down when the food arrived. After the first few bites, you picked it back up curiously.

But I'll say the wrong thing because I'm insensitive and awkward. Curtis is really good at this shit.

Please Y/N? It's the only way I know how to help you

With it put like that, how could you turn it down?

I'll message him later, okay? I promise.

You got the response before you could even lock your phone.

I'm glad.

------

“Hey dad,” you called softly as you walked into the hospital room, eyeing the lump on the bed before you moved to his side. “How's she doing?”

Your father gave you a hug and kissed the top of your head.

“Stubborn as a mule,” he said with a small smile. “Doc was in here earlier to check her vitals and she damn near kicked him out.”

“His stethoscope was cold,” your sister complained as she turned her head to peek up at you. “Aren't you supposed to be at work?”

You huffed out a laugh and moved to grab her hand.

“I got off about thirty minutes ago.” You squeezed her hand as you looked at all of the machines attached to her. “How are you feeling?”

Kristen’s free hand went to her very large belly.

“Felt him kick earlier,” she said with a smile. “Dr Dunning said that was a good sign.”

You placed your hand on her belly and smiled. Before you could say anything, you felt the tiniest movement.

“Gas?”

Kris smacked your arm with a laugh.

“That was your nephew telling you to be nice to his mom,” she countered with a grin.

“He says that now. Wait until he gets here. You'll be all discipline and veggies and I'll be giving him ice cream for dinner.”

The rest of your visit went much the same. Your sister's pregnancy was high risk so she was hospitalized for the last few weeks before they would have to do a c-section. It'd been tough on everyone because you wanted to be with her as much as possible but it was hard to get out there now that you were employed.

Your parents took turns spending about six hours with her at a time. The father wasn't in the picture anymore so it was just Kris. And your soon to be nephew.

On your way home, you thought about the number in your phone. You didn't think you needed to reach out to Curtis because you were doing okay for the time being. Of course you did promise Kenny that you'd message him.

And it wasn't like you'd turn down the chance to talk to someone. You were still stressed about finding a place to live. And you were still looking for a job that fit you more than what you were doing now.

It couldn't hurt, right? Worst came to worst, he'd tell you to buzz off.

With that in mind, you told yourself that you'd send a text to appease Kenny. He'd been so worried about you lately.

------

Curled up in the guest room while Kenny and Ethan watched TV in the living room, you decided that now was as good of a time as any. It took you a few minutes to figure out what to say, but once you started? The words just seemed to flow from you.

Hey Curtis. You don't know me but a friend gave me your number. I've been having a tough time lately and he told me that you're a pretty good with that? I just have a lot going on and I'm feeling a bit like a failure. I don't know how else to explain it except I feel like I'm failing everyone and I'm a burden to the people that care about me. And I know I shouldn't lay all this at your feet but my friend really wanted me to reach out. Feel free to tell me to fuck off if this is out of line, I just thought I'd give it a try.

You hit send before you could think twice about it. You also realized you never gave him your name or who your friend was, but you figured you'd wait to see how he responded.

With the message sent, you dropped your phone onto the bedspread and moved to your luggage. You pulled out some pajamas and started to work on putting them on.

While you were pulling your shirt on, you heard your phone buzz. Instead of running over, you stuck to getting dressed. And then you tried to think of anything else you could do before you checked the message.

Unable to think of anything that wouldn’t involve you going through the apartment and depressing yourself by seeing Ethan and Kenny being so in love, you sat down on the bed and unlocked the phone to check.

Your stomach dropped when you saw the reply.

I'm sorry about this but I think you have the wrong number? I don't think anyone would have given you my number if you were looking for comfort. And my name isn't Curtis. I know a Curtis though and he's the kind of guy that would talk you through this so I can give you his number if you want?

You swore and tossed the phone away from you. Even the knowledge that this person apparently knew Curtis didn't help. All you felt was embarrassed to have unloaded on a complete stranger. And the wrong stranger at that.

All of the numbers had been so squished together on that page. He said he knew Curtis so it was probably one of the people from group. Shit.

You'd tell Kenny that you were sorry but that it didn't work out with you talking to Curtis. It'd be a lie, but you couldn't reach out to someone else after that.

You'd just keep on going the way you had been.

------

When you woke up the next morning, you checked the time on your phone. There was a notification from a number you didn't have saved.

It was just familiar enough for you to realize it was the number of Not-Curtis. You had deleted the number before you went to bed, not thinking that other person would reach back out after they told you they weren't Curtis.

Instead you were faced with another message.

I know I'm not Curtis but I am worried. You okay?

This person has claimed that no one would have given you their phone number to comfort you, but they did seem worried about you.

The clock said it was just after six. You needed to take a shower and start getting ready for work. Instead you took a moment to compose a reply.

I'm fine, just embarrassed. I'm taking this as a sign that I should just not bother people with my junk. Thanks for checking up on me. And sorry for bothering you last night.

You sent the message and locked your phone, heading to grab your stuff for your shower. You figured that would be that but when you got back to the room, you had a new message from that same number.

No worries. I get it. But I wouldn't take it as a sign not to reach out. There's no shame in reaching out. Curtis is a good guy. Let me give you his actual number. He can help you adjust to being back home.

You hesitated when you read that. It made sense the person would assume that you were military considering what Curtis did, but it just helped you feel worse.

I'm not military. Part of the reason I want to just forget this happened. Sorry for bothering you.

Phone back down once more, you moved to your clothes. You still had some time before you needed to go to work, but you usually preferred to leave early to stop and get breakfast.

When you were fully dressed, you checked your phone but there weren't any new messages. You weren't sure why you felt disappointed, but you considered it a fluke.

------

The lab you were checking was mostly empty. You were making notes on their disposal techniques when you felt your phone buzz in your pocket.

Your first thought was that it was going to be about Kris. Instead you were faced with that unsaved number from earlier.

So you aren't military. Curtis would still be willing to talk to you.

This person just didn't know when to give up.

I decided that I don't want to bother Curtis with my issues. I appreciate your persistence, but I'm not going to message him.

You tucked your phone back into your pocket. Even when you felt it buzz later while you were explaining that the lab was using outdated cleaning equipment and could be fined for that, you ignored it.

It had to be a guy. A girl would have stopped pushing at some point. You weren't sure what kind of guy openly admits to not being someone to offer comfort and then go through this, but it somehow made sense.

On your way to the subway, you finally opened the one notification you'd been ignoring all day.

Well you aren't bothering me. I have nothing better to do right now. I'm Billy, btw. If you want, you can talk to me.

You started to type up a reply telling him you weren't going to do that either, but something stopped you. You glanced up to see what station was coming up and sighed.

Maybe you could use someone to talk to. Someone that didn't know you in person and someone you could easily ignore if it went bad. Someone with no real connection to you.

In the end it was the thought that Kris would want you to do it which made you change your response.

I've just been dealing with a lot in the last few months. Things seem to be getting worse before they get better. My friend thought I could benefit from talking to someone that isn't in my social circle about it.

You hesitated and then sent the text. His text had been about three hours ago so you didn't expect an immediate response. But it came through anyways.

What are you dealing with? If you wanna tell me

You appreciated him giving you the opportunity. The thought of laying everything out on someone you didn't know made you a little nervous so you decided the cliff notes version would have to do.

Lost my job so now I'm working a job I don't particularly like. Couch surfing because I can't find a place to live. My sister is in the hospital because she's having a difficult pregnancy. It's just a lot

You felt stupid the moment you sent it. If this guy was in one of the groups with Curtis and Ethan, he was obviously a vet. You were telling someone from the military that you were dealing with a lot and it was just–

A new text came in.

Shit.

Obviously he was a wordsmith, but you could see the bubble that said he was typing.

Think of it this way. Any job is better than no job. And couch surfing means you got people that care. Like the friend that gave you Curt’s number?

I can't say much about the sister thing because I've never been in that situation but I imagine it sucks

That made it sound like he didn't have any siblings. You weren't going to pry, because you weren't sure how close to get to this mysterious Billy, but it was something at least.

I know that I've been lucky. I know that and that's what makes me feel worse. I shouldn't feel like this, I know that.

Your stop was coming up so you put your phone away. Once you were back on the street, you found yourself reaching for your phone again.

That's not what I'm saying at all. Shit still hurts whether or not it could be worse. Don't judge how you feel against how you think you should feel. Doesn't work that way

That was heavy. You crossed the street carefully, checking both directions as you did. On the other side, you paused your trek to send a reply.

For someone who doesn't think people would go to you for comfort, you're pretty good at it

You tucked your phone into your pocket after you put it on silent. As much as your were—surprisingly—enjoying this conversation, you didn't want to be distracted when you got to see your sister again.

An hour and a half later as you were leaving, you finally checked your phone. There were two messages from Billy.

Maybe I'm just trying to channel Curt. Make it worth your time to talk to me.

You never gave me your name

You looked around as if you expected to see someone hovering nearby.

There was no harm in telling him your name, especially since he told you his. Although he could have used a fake name.

You could use a fake name. It wasn't like he'd ever know the truth.

I'd feel more comfortable anonymous. For now?

It took another subway ride to get you home. Or, well, to Kenny and Ethan’s. Inside you waved at Kenny who was working at his desk before you went into the guest room. You started to drop your bag onto the bed when you saw the text.

I get that. Can I know anything about you? Gender? Age? Zodiac sign?

You let out a short laugh. It was a bit of a surprise, so you smothered the instinct. If you didn't know better, you would think he was flirting with you. But it was probably just him trying to lighten the mood.

You gave him the answers, telling him you were a girl and giving him your age. You even jokingly gave him your zodiac sign.

It was a step. And a small step was better than nothing.

------

“So you don't know this guy but you've been texting him?”

You looked over at where Kris was failing to knit a baby blanket. It looked more like a really sad pot holder.

“It started as a fluke,” you admitted as you flipped through the magazine you were reading. “But it's only been the past few days. It probably won't continue.”

Even as you said it, you felt a thin curl of disappointment growing in your chest.

The past few days had involved a few conversations with Billy. Well, one conversation that didn't stop. Sometimes there'd be hours between texts, but you didn't mind. He always turned the conversation back to you, back to the things you had admitted to him that day.

You had a strange feeling that he actually wanted to help you.

“Just be careful, okay? I don't want anything to happen to this kid’s aunt. He’ll need you to keep his mommy from going insane.”

It was such a Kris thing to say that you could barely keep the smile down.

“Do you think I'm gonna do something stupid?”

Kris raised her eyebrow at you, throwing her knitting down in frustration.

“No, I feel like you get attached to people easily and sometimes you get hurt.”

You thought about Paul and how quickly everything had moved. How quickly everything had gone to hell.

“You may have a point there.”

You didn't want to stop talking to Billy, but you knew Kris was right. She usually was.

------

“You've seemed happy lately,” Kenny said as he flopped down on the bed next to you. “Well maybe not happy, but more settled.”

You looked over at him and smiled.

“I'm glad you think so.”

He rolled his head to look over at you.

“Did you text Curtis?”

You'd almost forgotten to tell him about it. And since your version of things was a little different, you wanted to tread lightly.

“I did. It really helped. It got me thinking about how to move forward.”

You knocked your knee against his, grinning a bit as you did.

“Thank you, by the way. I never said that.”

Kenny wrapped his arms around your legs and grinned up at you.

“I'm just happy to see the old you. Even as little as it is.”

------

You've mentioned your folks a few times as well as your sister. You mind if I ask why you can't stay with them?

Don't mind you asking. Parents live in Jersey now and I'm not looking to move out of the city. Kris lives with them when she's not in the hospital.

you that attached to the city?

Once you're here, who would want to be anywhere else?

I can respect that

------

You having a bad night?

Bad year. I want to get out of this apartment so that they can be alone. I'm just getting really tired of having to rely on other people.

I don't know your price range but I can look around. I have some people I could ask

You don't need to do that. I already take advantage of you enough

I'm giving you permission to take advantage of me however you want

------

That last message had made your whole body turn warm. It didn't make sense given the fact that you'd never seen Billy or knew much about him personally, but those words made you feel almost lightheaded.

At the same time, there were loud sirens going off in the back of your head. Paul had been a smooth talker. He had painted picture after picture of all these things you'd only ever let yourself dream about. And then he became the thing you had nightmares about.

You didn't respond to the text but a couple of hours later, you got another text.

I didn't mean it like that. Don't want you to think that I'm hitting on you or something.

Or something, you thought to yourself as you typed out a response.

Never crossed my mind

------

The alcohol was like grease on a wheel. You moved with the music that pumped from the stereo in the corner of the bar. For the first time in a long time, you felt alive.

“Wowza girly, you're gonna burn the place down,” Ethan cheered as he joined you on the floor.

He was careful to let you see that he was approaching before he wrapped his arms around you, moving with the music. Both him and Kenny were always careful like that. They'd been the ones to see you for the first time after Paul had gotten abusive.

You were thankful for their care and gentleness. It was thoughtful in a way a lot of people weren't.

After dancing got tiring, you dropped into a chair next to another friend. Kenny had taken your spot with Ethan and the two of them danced together.

It wasn't that Billy was on your mind constantly, but he was there a lot. Since the conversation where he'd very bluntly told you he wasn't hitting on you, your conversations had been stilted to say the least.

Oddly enough, you thought you missed him.

With that in mind, you pulled your phone out to check the thread. Mostly just general greetings, nothing like it was before.

Confidence provided by alcohol, you typed up a message.

Why do you never say anything about yourself? Something real

The lack of spelling mistakes and the fact that it actually made sense had you satisfied as you hit send.

The satisfaction went away pretty quickly when his reply came in.

You're kidding right

It didn't even deserve a question mark. You furrowed your browser as you stared at the phone.

Im not kidding. You ar3 alwaus talking about me, but never about you. I don't know anything about uou

That time you noticed the spelling mistakes, but not until you sent the message. Shit. You didn't want it to be obvious that you were drunk.

I don't even know your name. You're saved in my phone under your fucking star sign. Wanna tell me why you're drunk texting me this bs right now?

You had the sudden urge to call him and chew him out, but that was crossing a line in this timid relationship the two of you had. Instead you blinked a few times to try to focus your eyes before you began to type again.

I'm sorry. I just can't stop thinking about the fact that you never talk about yourself. It always about me.

But you're right, I'm drunk.

You stared at the phone for a long time, watching the little sign that said he'd read the messages. But you didn't see that he was replying.

You looked you and watched Kenny and Ethan wrapped around one another, so very much in love. Then you looked back down at your phone.

With a deep breath, you typed something else.

And my name is Y/N

------

The next morning while you nursed your hangover, your phone started to blink with a new text. You groaned as you held it a little ways away from your face so that you wouldn’t be blinded when you unlocked the device.

There was a link from Billy. There wasn’t an accompanying text, just the link. Your first thought was that it was spam, but you decided to give it a shot.

It opened up to about half a dozen rental listings in the city. They ranged from exactly your price range to ridiculously expensive. You clicked through them for a bit before you went back to the thread.

You didn't have to do that, but thank you. Those are some good leads for me to look into.

You didn't want to be beholden to Billy but something told you that he didn't see it that way. And sure enough, thirty minutes later when you got out of your shower, his reply told you as much.

I don't look at it as something I had to do. I wanted to.

You skimmed back up at the conversation from the night before and winced. You weren't at your best when you'd been drinking, but especially not with you unable to get Billy's earlier brush off out of your mind.

Why would he be flirting with you? Neither of you knew what the other looked like. Until last night, he didn't even know your name.

You should apologize. At the very least you should tell him that you hadn't meant it like it sounded.

Before you got the chance, your phone lit up with a new text.

I was safe havened in Albany. Grew up in the system. The moment I aged out, I joined the Marines. They put me through college and then they put me through hell. I came out the other side a survivor that has a lot to be thankful for.

You wanted to tell him that he didn't need to tell you this, but it would contradict your fit the night before. No, this was his way of reaching out, of showing more of himself to you.

It was your turn to offer an olive branch.

I've never been to Albany. How is it?

You didn't have to wait long for the reply.

It sucks

------

For a while, things start to look up. Your job was still kind of crappie but you started to enjoy parts of it. One of the apartments that Billy linked you to accepted your application and you were on the verge of moving in. And you and Billy were actually becoming friends.

It was the biggest surprise really. You hadn't expected much when you sent the message to Curtis, but you definitely didn't expect Billy. And upon starting to talk to him, you didn't expect for that to be the best part of your day.

The conversations changed. Instead of centering around you and your stuff, it became more of a friendship. He told you about his life, you told him about yours.

He owned a company, although he wouldn't specify what the company did. He also made it sound like he'd been on some sort of leave from the company recently but he didn't give specifics.

You knew he lived not far from Kenny and Ethan. That was probably the hardest part; knowing he was so close and yet not having a way to reach out to him. In person.

You hadn't broached the subject of meeting in person. You weren't sure how it'd go over so you held it in.

With everything starting to fall together, it made sense that something had to give. It just happened that the thing that finally did break was your sister.

A panicked phone call from your mom had you grabbing your stuff in the middle of the night to catch a taxi. Usually you'd take the subway but work had given you a raise so you weren't worried about money anymore.

You just wanted to be with your sister.

You made your way to her room. Inside was your mom and dad, but her bed was empty.

“Where's Kris?”

Your dad looked up at you, tears in his eyes.

“They took her back. They are going to check on the baby but there's a chance they may have to do an emergency c-section.”

Fear gripped you. You covered your mouth with your hand as you let yourself slump into their waiting arms.

“You said she had a seizure? Do they know what caused it?”

It was your mom who answered as she wiped away a tear from your cheek.

“They said it could be any number of things. The neurologist is with her just in case.”

For the next hour you watched your parents pace nervously around the private hospital room. At some point your mom sat down, her eyelids drooping as she tried to force herself to stay awake.

“I'm gonna go get us some coffee,” you offered quietly as you went over to your mom to squeeze her hand. “You guys want anything else?”

“No sweetie,” your mom said gratefully as she released your hand. “Coffee should do the trick.”

Despite telling them that you would get it, your dad handed you his card. You grabbed your phone and your wallet before you slipped into the hallway.

Hospitals always freaked you out, but there was something especially disconcerting about a hospital at almost four in the morning.

You'd visited Kris enough to be able to find the vending machine without any help. You stared at the coffee machine with tired eyes for a few minutes as you tried to force yourself to calm down.

Kris was fine. She was surrounded by doctors. Her and the baby were going to be fine.

Without thinking, you pulled your phone out of your pocket and pulled up your thread with Billy. After a moment of hesitation, you told him what was going on.

My sister had a seizure. They took her back to do some tests. They may have to do a c-section for the baby. I've been at the hospital for over an hour and I'm worried shitless.

You weren't sure why you sent the text at first. You'd needed comfort and he was the first person you could think of to give that to you.

While you looked around for a tray to be able to carry the cups back to the room, you felt your phone start to vibrate. Only it didn't just vibrate once, but continuously.

A phone call.

A look at the display showed Billy's name flashing. Your first instinct was to freeze but you knew that if you missed this window, chances were you wouldn't get a second chance.

You quickly swiped to answer the call.

“Hello?”

The silence that met you made you wonder if he'd dialed you on accident. But then…

“Y/N,” he greeted, his voice different than what you expected somehow. “I thought maybe a phone call would be more appropriate than a text message right now.”

His voice was smooth. There was a bit of a New York accent mixed in there, soft enough that you only hear it on some of the words. You didn't think you'd have heard it if you hadn't been listening so intently.

“Yeah, that’s uh, that's a good guess. I'm sorry if I woke you.”

There was a deep, rich chuckle on the other end of the line that made your breath catch.

“Nah, I wasn't sleeping. I was working out when I saw your text.”

Working out. Your mind tried to conjure the image but without knowing what he looked like, nothing came to you.

“You okay?” Then you heard him swear slightly under his breath. “Fuck, of course you're not okay. I just meant–”

“I know what you meant,” you offered easily, because you did. “I appreciate it, really. I can't tell you how nice it is to finally put a voice to a name.”

There was a beat of silence where you had to wonder if you'd said the wrong thing. Then he was speaking once again.

“I don't want to keep you while you're probably with your family. I just wanted to say that I'm here if you need to talk to someone. Anytime, day or night,” he added, his voice a little lower than it had been before.

A jolt of heat went through you at that tone, but you shook your head. Not only was now not the time, but he'd already told you that he wasn't flirting with you. You needed to get over yourself.

“Thanks Billy,” you said with as much sincerity as possible. “I'll text you when I know more?”

A beat of silence and then, “Or you can call. I don't have any plans so I'm here if you need me.”

A surge of affection went through you for this man you barely knew.

“Thank you for that. I'll call once I know more,” you promised.

After a quiet goodbye from both of you, you ended the call. It had been absolutely thrilling to hear his voice for the first time.

You just wished it was under better circumstances.

------

You sent the pictures to Kenny and Ethan; they had both been checking in with you since they woke up and saw your message on the bathroom mirror.

The first picture was just of the baby. He had been asleep, swaddled in a blue and white checked blanket. He had your sister’s nose and your mom swore that the face he made when he was sleeping was just like the one you’d made as a baby.

The second picture was of you holding the baby. You looked exhausted but so happy, a smile on your lips as you looked down at the bundle in your arms. Your dad had snapped the picture and sent it to you.

Kenny and Ethan reacted with multiple exclamation marks and emojis that made you laugh. Kenny was also the one that asked how your sister was doing.

She’s sleeping right now, but the doctors think she’ll be okay. She’s gotta stay here for a while, but the baby will be in the NICU for at least another week before he can be released so it works out.

The room was quiet, your sister’s breathing mixing in with the machines that were monitoring her. Your parents had gone home to rest for a few hours before they’d come back. You didn’t mind watching over your sister for the time being.

There weren’t any new messages from Billy, but you still brought up the thread. You told him you’d keep him updated and you had for the most part, but the last few hours had been so chaotic that you hadn’t reached out in a bit. You knew he wouldn’t blame you for that, but you wanted him to know that things were okay.

You tapped to add a photo to the text message. You hesitated after you added the picture of the baby, your eyes on the other photo you had been sending people. Did you want to cross that line? He’d know what you looked like if you did that. Did you care?

There was a small part of you, the part that still shied away from men with the vivid memory of Paul in your head, that told you not to send it. But the rest of you wanted to take that leap.

There was something about Billy that made him the exception to most of your rules.

With that in mind, you added the second photo as well. You went back to the text and typed in A healthy baby boy. And I swear this isn’t the first time I’ve held a baby, he’s just so small.

Your heart thundered in your chest as you sent the pictures. You closed your eyes for a second before you locked the phone and put it down on your lap.

Kris was still asleep, her nose crinkling as she dreamed. She hadn’t gotten to hold the baby yet; once she was out of surgery and the doctors were certain she wasn’t going to have another seizure, she’d been brought back to the room but she was sleeping it all off. You wanted to be here when she woke up in case she freaked out about obviously not being pregnant anymore; you weren’t sure if she was aware that the she’d had the baby.

Your phone started to buzz and you smiled down at it to see that Billy was calling you again. You went over to the corner of the room, looking out through the window as you accepted the call.

“Hey, you didn’t have to call again,” you said quietly, perching on the counter with the window at your back, “I just wanted you to know that everything was okay. My sister, the baby, they’re both fine.”

“That’s wonderful Y/N,” he said, a smile obvious in his voice, “but I also wanted to check in on you. You’ve been at the hospital for almost twelve hours. Just wanted to make sure you’re taking care of yourself while all this is happening.”

You looked over at Kris and couldn’t fight the smile that overtook you.

“I’m great. Kris, my sister, is doing great. The baby is healthy and he’ll be able to go home in about a week. I’ve been so worried about what was going to happen that this feels like a lead weight being lifted from my soul. And yeah, I’m tired, but my parents will be back up here soon and then I can go home and crash for a few hours.”

“I’m glad she’s okay. And the kid too. What’s his name?”

You laughed as you stretched out your legs a bit, leaning back against the window.

“Kris has a few ideas, but she wanted to actually hold him before she decided on a name. I’m half tempted to pretend like I named him something ridiculous while she was asleep.”

That got a laugh from him. The two of you sat in a comfortable silence for a few moments. You watched your sister shift a bit in her sleep, her lips smacking as she did. You could see where the baby got it from.

You were just about to tell Billy that you should go, because you thought that Kris might be close to waking up, but his voice interrupted your thoughts.

“That was you, right, in the picture?” At your hesitant assent that yes, it was you, you heard him let out an audible breath. “You uh, don’t look how I pictured you.”

You bit your lip, ducking your head as you tried to come up with a response to that.

“Is that a good thing? Or…”

Whatever Billy’s answer would have been, you didn’t get a chance to hear it. Your sister let out a loud groan, her hand going to her stomach. You quickly told Billy you’d have to call him back, ending the call and letting the phone rest on the windowsill as you moved over to Kris’s side.

“Where–”

You grasped her hand and waited until her eyes met yours before you smiled down at her.

“Morning sis. You’re on a lot of drugs right now, so you’re probably a little out of it. How much do you remember?”

Her free hand went up to her head. She was blinking rapidly as if trying to clear her fogged senses.

“I had a headache. I think I remember a nurse asking me some questions, maybe? And then they said something about the baby?” Her hand went to her stomach once more, her eyes widening. “Is he okay?”

“He’s great,” you said with a smile, feeling her relief race through her body. “They had to do a c-section, but he’s great Kris. They want to keep an eye on him for a week, but I think they’ll be keeping an eye on you for the same amount of time so it’ll be okay.”

She slumped back into her pillows a little.

“Can I see him?”

You smiled and gave her hand a squeeze before you pulled back.

“I’ll go get a nurse so that someone can go get him.”

Once in the hall, you let out a breath to release the tension you had been holding for a while. Relief spread through you like a physical presence. The baby was okay. Your sister was okay. And in a few moments, your sister would get to meet her son for the first time.

It was going to be okay.

------

You grabbed your phone to take a few candid pictures of Kris meeting the baby for the first time. You unlocked it and saw a text from Billy. Since the nurse wasn’t there with the baby yet, you quickly opened the message.

It’s definitely not a bad thing. I’ll talk to you later.

A smile spread over you at that, warmth curling in your stomach. You didn’t want to think that way, but you wondered if maybe Billy was pleasantly surprised by your looks. If there was even a small part of him that had found you attractive.

Casting that to the side for the time being, you opened up your camera. You were just in time to catch your sister bursting in tears the moment the nurse carried the baby into the room.

------

Things started to come together after that.

The job had gotten better now that you’d been doing it longer. Your bosses had been pleased with your work and even mentioned maybe turning you into a trainer at some point.

Kris had moved in temporarily with your parents while she healed up. You went to Jersey to see them as much as you could. Well, mostly just to see baby Liam.

And then there was the thing with Billy. Since he had made the leap into phone calls, the two of you were in near constant contact. You still preferred to send a text and see if he could talk, but he never turned you down.

The only time you called him without checking first was your first night in your new apartment. Kenny and Ethan had left with the half empty pizza box, leaving you in the middle of your living room floor with a thing of beer and all of your boxes from storage.

It wasn’t a lot, but it was yours. You had been so happy that you had grabbed the phone and called Billy without hesitation.

“Hey,” he greeted sounding pleased to hear from you. “This is a nice surprise. What’s up?”

You smiled and leaned back so that you were lying down in the middle of the floor.

“I am about to spend the first night in my own apartment and I owe it all to you,” you said with a smile so wide that it hurt your cheeks. “If you hadn’t sent me those listings, I don’t think I ever would have found this place.”

Or maybe you would have but it would have taken a lot longer.

“I’m glad it’s working out for you,” he said with a smile in his voice, “you deserve it Y/N. I’m just glad that I was able to do something to help.”

You thought back to the first time you had messaged him, on accident or not, and how he had said that people wouldn’t go to him for comfort. And now when something happened to you, good or bad, he was the first person you thought of.

That thought stayed with you for a while after that conversation. Somehow this man who you hadn’t meant to contact had become very important to you. And it was more than it had started out to be. You would honestly say now that the two of you were actual friends.

But maybe you wanted more than that. Or maybe you just wanted more than you had. The texts, the phone calls, they made your days better. But you would like to actually meet the man that meant so much to you.

You just weren’t sure how to broach the subject.

A few weeks after you moved into your apartment, you were on the phone with Billy while he complained about something with his company. He always kept it vague, but from what you could tell, he was having problems with some of his outsourced help.

You weren’t sure where the courage came from, but you said the words before you could think twice.

“You know, if you wanted to get together for a drink and complain about this in person, I can think of a few places nearby that have pretty good food.”

The silence was almost deafening.

“I don’t, well, I don’t think that’d be a good idea.”

It felt like a kick to the chest. You hadn’t been aware how much you’d been hoping for this until it was pulled away.

“Oh, yeah, I understand,” you said, hoping that he couldn’t hear the disappointment in your voice. “It was just a thought. Don’t worry about it.”

Embarrassment and rejection spread over you, heat filling you face as you tried to think of any way to change the subject. You were also thinking about maybe changing your name and leaving the city, but only a little bit.

“It’s not that I don’t want to,” he explained quickly, his words a rush as if he knew what you were thinking. “I’d love to get a drink with you. I just don’t think right now is a good time.”

Did he mean right now as in today, a nondescript Tuesday? Or did he mean at this point in your friendship?

“Okay,” you said quietly, drawing the word out a few extra seconds. “Well let me know if you change your mind?”

“I will,” he promised, his voice a little more sure than it was before. “I will.”

------

The picture of you from the hospital was the first that you sent, but not the last. It wasn’t always of you but of something you came across, but just like the phone calls, it was a change in the routine. Every now and then there would be part of you in the photo. And then finally you just took the dive and sent him a selfie of you on the subway one day.

The longest part of my day is what you had captioned the photo. You were pulling a face to the camera, but you still thought it looked like an okay picture.

You saw when he opened the message. You saw him start to type and then watched the bubble disappear. That happened twice more before a response finally came through.

You look amazing for someone who spends all day talking about medical waste.

As if those two things were mutually exclusive, but you had a feeling he just wanted a reason to compliment you. You smiled and started to respond but a message came through from him.

It was a photo. Your heart started to race in anticipation and you couldn’t help the disappointment when you opened it to see that it wasn’t a photo of him. Not really.

It was a desk with papers scattered over it. There was a glass of some amber liquid and a hand wrapped around the glass. It was a nice hand, you thought with a smile.

This is how I spend most of my evenings these days

It might not be his face, but it was something. You weren’t sure what it was about him, but you could tell that he had walls up. Considering you had refused to give him your name for the first few weeks that you knew each other, you couldn’t really blame him.

It opened up something new once more. Now he replied to your photos with pictures of his own. There was never a picture of his face, but the photos did help you start to piece together a mostly complete image of the man you talked to.

He was tall, if the length of this legs were any indication. You were more than a little obsessed with his hands; it wasn’t just dirty thoughts although there were plenty of those. You could also tell from a few pictures that included his torso that he wore a lot of suits. There was even one picture where he’d been in bed that you spent a lot of time thinking about.

There’s no way he could take a picture of his bare stomach and his legs which were barely covered by a sheet and think that it was in any way platonic. You spent a lot of time staring at the lines of his abs because it kept you from trying to figure out if the bulge was from the sheet being bunched up or… from something else.

You decided to test a theory. If he was going to send that picture without a hint as to if you should comment or not, you were going to do the same. As you got ready for sleep, you decided to do something different than your usual ratty t-shirt and sweats.

It wasn’t easy to take the picture. You weren’t wearing a shirt or a bra, but you were on your stomach so nothing was visible except your bare back. And the soft cotton shorts that looked more like underwear than anything else. You positioned the camera so that it caught the fact that you were nude from the waist up. With your head on the pillow, you gave a lazy smile to the camera and snapped the picture.

Once you were satisfied that it looked alright but not like you were trying too hard, you added a caption and sent the photo to Billy.

Sweet dreams!

You quickly got up and put on the ratty t-shirt that you had had on standby. You left on the shorts because they were actually pretty comfortable. By time you got back to the bed, your phone was blinking with a message.

From Billy. As if it could have been anyone else.

I don’t think sweet is the word to describe my dreams after that

You bit your lip as you rolled over in the bed, typing up a response.

Oh? And what word would you use?

His reply came in seconds of him reading your text.

Wet

Your breath caught in your throat at that simple word and what he meant by it. Heat spread down your chest and lower, so much lower. You clenched your legs together, burying your face into your pillow as you tried to calm your breathing. So he wasn’t as unaffected by you as you had once thought.

Your phone buzzing had you sitting up in a hurry. Billy was calling you. After those texts, you weren’t sure you could talk to him without bursting into flames.

Finally, something good came from the two of you only talking over the phone and not in person.

“Hello?” God, were you really that breathless? Way to be obvious.

“Hey,” he greeted back, his voice almost apprehensive. “Listen, I didn’t want to do this over a text. If I overstepped with that, I just wanted to say I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said something like that without–”

“Yeah, please don’t take that back. Not unless you didn’t mean it,” you added because now you were feeling a little insecure.

You heard him let out an audible sigh.

“I meant it,” he said lowly, his voice making your stomach flip. “You’re gorgeous. And that photo? Kind of broke me.”

“Oh. Well there’s always more where that came from,” you teased as you fingered the hem of your shirt.

He groaned, the noise loud in your ears. You couldn’t help but wonder in what other circumstances he’d make noises like that. If you could make him make that sound again. How it would feel against your skin.

“Y/N, if you–”

He was going to give you a chance to back down with your dignity intact but you’d decided that dignity wasn’t that important right then.

“Do you want me to tell you what I thought when you sent me that first picture? The one where you were holding a glass of alcohol and surrounded by papers?”

“Sure.” His voice was so low that you barely heard it.

“I was thinking about your fingers. They looked long, strong. I couldn’t help but wonder what they’d be good at. Playing the piano, maybe. But I also thought they’d be good at other things. And I couldn’t stop thinking about what they’d look like against my skin.”

It wasn’t the sexiest thing you’d ever said, but you’d never done this before. It was new territory for you but like so many other times, you jumped head first in with Billy at your side.

“You sent that one picture of you in a skirt and all I could think about was sliding my hand up your thighs.” He seemed almost timid as he spoke, as if he wasn’t sure this is what you wanted. At your very approving noise, his tone got a little more confident. “Wanted to know if I could make you come apart with just my hands.”

You bit your lip as you squeezed your thighs together again.

“Considering how good you’re doing with just your voice? I’m pretty sure you’d have no trouble with your hands.”

He laughed, low and short. You had the phone pressed so hard to your ear that you were pretty sure you could hear his breathing pick up at that.

“You thinking about my hands on you? Running up your thighs? That picture didn’t leave much to the imagination,” he reminded you in a downright filthy tone, earning a muffled moan as your hips gave aborted little thrusts. “What about you, huh? Have you ever touched yourself and thought about me?”

You hadn’t. It felt like a betrayal of your friendship so you never crossed that line. But now? You dragged your nails up your thigh, biting your lip at the feeling. Then you cupped yourself, the heel of your palm pressing down against your clit through the shorts.

“I am now,” you whispered, voice breathy and stuttered as you thrust against your hand. “Have you? Thought about me like that?”

You needed to know. His answer was a moan, deep and guttural as if he was taking himself in hand.

“I wish I could see that,” you said with a laugh as you slipped your hand under your shorts, fingers slipping between your folds to tease at your clit. “It’s not just your dreams that are wet,” you teased breathlessly.

He moaned again, earning a grin from you.

“You’re wet just from my voice? Like it that much?” His breath audibly hitched. “Fuck I don’t think I’ve been this hard this fast before. Pretty sure I’m lightheaded.”

You laughed, biting your lip as your fingers continued to play with your clit. You’d never laughed while doing something like this before. Sex with Paul had always been either perfunctory or a terrifying experience. And before then it was always just both you and your partners trying to get off and get gone.

Your relationship with Billy, as strange as it was, was the first time you’d ever felt like this before.

“Only enough blood to work one head at a time,” you joked, your eyes closing as you started to push a finger inside. “Your hands look bigger than mine. I wonder how many fingers I could take.”

“Fuck Y/N,” he said around a groan, a slight laugh at the end. “I bet you could take however many I gave you. Bet I could make you scream.”

You bet he could too. You back arched as you pumped two fingers in and out, the heel of your palm rubbing almost painfully against your clit. It’d been a long, long time since you’d been this turned on and you knew you wouldn’t last long. You bit your lip to hold in a whine, but Billy’s voice called out to you.

“C’mon, you don’t have roommates anymore. Lemme hear you. Don’t hold back,” he half pleaded, half demanded, his own breathing coming out in bursts. He must be close too.

You let down your guard, letting him hear the noises you made. Normally you’d be too embarrassed but right then, all you wanted to do is let him hear you as you came apart at the seams. You arched and writhed as your hand moved, fucking yourself hard and fast. Your other hand released the phone, trapping it between your ear and shoulder so that you could reach under your shirt and squeeze your breast.

“Billy,” you called on a gasp, his name tearing out of you as you got closer to your climax. “Please Billy, I’m so close.”

You weren’t sure what you were asking for. You were dizzy with arousal, your whole body aching with need and so close to release. Whatever you wanted, Billy seemed to understand your pleas.

“C’mon Y/N, come for me. Lemme hear you. Imagine it’s my hand on you, making you feel that good. C’mon, let go.”

You cried out wordlessly as your orgasm finally crashed over you, clamping your thighs together so hard you were worried you might break your own hand. You came back to your senses in time to hear as Billy swore through his own orgasm, your name falling off his lips a few times.

You slumped back on the bed, chest heaving as you fought for air. You knew you’d never come like that before, never felt your body lose all energy the moment it passed. If that’s what you had been missing all this time, no wonder people talked about sex all the time.

And that wasn’t even sex. That was just you with your own hand and Billy’s voice in your ear. Imagine how it’d be in person.

That felt like a splash of ice cold water. You sat up in the bed, pulling your hand out of your shorts and wincing as wiped your hand off on your shirt. You were holding the phone to your ear still, but it was quiet on the other line.

Maybe he had fallen asleep? It would be for the best. You needed to think. Before you could figure out if you should just hang up, Billy’s voice called to you.

“Is it… are you okay?”

How honest should you be? You bit your lip. Then you curled your legs up and into your chest.

“I just… wasn’t expecting that? That we did something like that and I’ve never even seen your face.”

You just wanted to be honest with him. After what you’d just shared, surely you owed him that much. His continued silence made you start to feel a little uncomfortable but you didn’t say anything.

“Without seeing my face, you can imagine whatever you want,” he said bitterly, surprising you.

“I don’t want to imagine anything or anyone else. I just would like to have been able to picture you, is all.”

He spoke before you could try to explain.

“Well we don’t have to worry about it, because it won’t happen again.”

You called his name, but the line dropped. With tears starting to gather in your eyes, you tried to call him back but it went straight to voicemail.

You hesitated as you brought up your text thread. Biting your lip, you typed up a message to him.

I don’t know what I did wrong. I know that you have your reasons for not showing me your face, but after that? You have to know that I don’t care what you look like. If that’s what this is about. I just want you Billy, no matter what.

You hadn’t meant to be that honest with him, but you couldn’t deny it anymore. You wanted Billy; you wanted his friendship, you wanted his wit, you wanted his deep philosophies, you wanted his corny jokes. You wanted a chance to meet the man you were falling for.

You stared at the little notification that would tell you he had read the message, but it didn’t appear. The longer you stared, the harder it got to see because tears had started to fall.

Even when you finally went to sleep, there was nothing to show that Billy had read your message.

------

“You look like shit,” Kenny said as he stepped into your apartment. “No seriously, I haven’t seen you this bad since Paul. What’s going on?”

You wiped at your eyes and gestured for him to follow you to the couch. There you grabbed your phone, a comforting gesture. It’d been five days and you still hadn’t heard from Billy. Sometime the morning after he’d hung up on you, you’d noticed that he had read the message you sent. But there still hadn’t been a reply.

He ignored all of your phone calls. You sent a few more texts, asking him to please talk to you, but they were met with silence.

They were all read, but none of them were replied to. It hurt so much that you finally stopped texting him. But it didn’t mean you gave up on hoping for a reply.

Kenny mentioning that he hadn’t seen you like this since Paul had almost made you laugh. You felt pathetic, but you knew it was true. As your best friend wrapped his arm around you, you buried your face into his shoulder and let yourself cry for the first time since that night.

“Y/N, you’re scaring me. What happened?”

It took a few tries before you finally explained it.

“Remember how I said I contacted that Curtis guy? Well, it turns out I had the number wrong and I got someone else instead.” Kenny started to get worried, but you shook your head as you tried to wipe away your tears. “It was this guy who was funny and nice and even though he wasn’t who I meant to talk to, I kept in touch with him. We’ve been talking for a few months now.”

You explained it all to him. For the first time, you laid it all out on the table. You started with how much his original messages helped you, to your drunken text about him not talking about himself, to him calling while you were at the hospital with Kris, to the flirty texts and pictures. You didn’t exactly mince words when you told him about the phone sex, although you didn’t go into detail.

And you ended it by telling him about Billy’s reaction when you mentioned how you’d never seen his face before.

“He just hung up? And now the bastard is ghosting you? Give me your phone, let me give him a piece of my mind,” he joked as he reached for your phone. Then he reached out to cup your cheek. “Forget him babe. If he can’t see that you were genuinely interested in him without even seeing him and therefore wouldn’t give a damn if he looked like a tree, then he doesn’t deserve you.”

You knew he’d say something like that because that was just the kind of guy Kenny was. You leaned into his arm and sighed, your eyes darting over to your phone.

“Easier said than done,” you complained lightly.

Even if you could forget him, you weren’t sure you really wanted to. Despite how it ended, knowing Billy had really opened you up. You didn’t want to forget that too.

------

“Who is a handsome boy? That’s right, it’s you,” you cooed at Liam, bouncing him a bit in your arms. “God you made one cute kid sis. It must have skipped you and gone straight to him.”

Kris swatted at you with the towel she was folding.

“I thought you came over here to spend time with us, not insult me. Just for that, you’re on diaper duty.”

You grinned at her and then looked back down at the baby in your arms. As far as you could tell, he didn’t look anything like his deadbeat dad who had disappeared the moment he found out he’d knocked your sister up. She had never really been scared to do it alone, not in the way you had expected her to be. No, her fear hadn’t come until they told her it was a high risk pregnancy.

But it worked out in the end. There was a happy baby boy that was healthy as an ox and your sister was all patched up too. She’d even probably be able to have more kids down the road if she wanted.

You’d finally told Kris everything about Billy. She had taken the high road and hadn’t said ‘I told you so’ even though she had. She’d told you that you’d get attached and get hurt, but you’d ignored her.

It was your job as her little sister to not listen to her. You were pretty sure you’d signed a contract at birth.

“You thinking about that douchebag again?”

You snorted as you looked over at Kris. She was sitting in the recliner with laundry piled up on the coffee table, grinning at you as she folded it all. And while once upon a time douchebag would have referred to Paul, you knew she meant it about Billy this time.

“Kenny said I should forget him,” you replied as you looked back down at Liam who was yawning, his eyes starting to droop.

“I always liked that guy,” Kris said as she handed you Liam’s pacifier.

You pressed it against his lips and watched as he immediately put it into his mouth, the gentle sound of sucking filling the silence as he slowly started to drift off. You tucked him up into your arms and rocked back and forth to help lull him to sleep.

“The thing is, I don’t want to forget Billy. Meeting him, our conversations and what came of it? It showed me that I can open up to people still. After everything with Paul, I wasn’t sure I’d ever get to that point again, but I did. And it’s because of Billy.”

Kris raised her eyebrow at you, obviously not believing that was all.

“And because you’re still in love with him, right?”

Well. You’d never been able to lie to your sister.

“Yeah, apparently,” you sighed as you looked down at Liam. “It’s been almost two weeks. If I can’t forget Billy, maybe it’s at least time for me to try to move on.”

It was the least you could do.

------

The company you were going to was actually the one that Ethan worked for. He had told you that he’d meet you at the front door so he could lead you around. Apparently the company had recently added a medical aspect and your company needed to make sure that they were not only equipped for anything they might take on, but also that they were prepared for any disposals.

Ethan met you at the front of the large warehouse like he said, grinning at you as he did.

“Welcome to Anvil,” he said as he held the door open for you. “I don’t know what all you need to see or do; Mr Russo doesn’t work from the office much since the accident.”

You pulled your tablet out of your bag and looked over at Ethan curiously as you unlocked it.

“The accident?”

Ethan motioned to his face before he opened another door for you, showing you into a large open space where people were working out and sparring.

“It’s the reason he looked into expanding with a few medics on the payroll. He was doing a job with one of his teams and there was an accident. Huge explosion, killed a few guys. He had been pulling the client to safety and got hit in the face by shrapnel.” He gestured to his face again, lowering his voice as the two of you passed by some of the recruits that were sparring. “He’s pretty scarred up. Guy was ridiculously hot before the accident and I think it’s the vanity that makes him stay home as much as he does now.”

You felt sympathy for this Mr Russo. You couldn’t imagine having to face a life after becoming disfigured like that. Hopefully he had people in his life that helped him.

“He’s still pretty hot, actually,” Ethan said as he bumped into your arm. “I’ve thought about hitting on him just so he knows that he’s not some kind of monster.”

You laughed and rolled your eyes. Before you could say anything else, Ethan gestured to a set of doors that were labeled Medical Office. When you pushed them open, you saw a few people milling around what resembled a doctor’s office.

“Guys, this is Y/N Y/L/N from that one medical company. She’s here to make sure we aren’t idiots when it comes to syringes,” Ethan joked with a wink in your direction. “Y/N, this is Jake Pell, Lorraine Morrow, and Curtis Hoyle. They are our medics.”

The name almost didn��t register, but then you were struck with it. The black man who was the third to shake your hand was the guy you were supposed to have sent a text to. Kenny had given you this man’s number in your time of need.

“Uh, hi,” you greeted, pulling your hand back and clearing your throat. You needed to be professional right now. “It’s not that we think you guys are idiots, but the government has very specific regulations for these kind of things. It’s my job to go to labs, medical offices, and apparently security firms who open medical offices to make sure that everyone is properly trained.”

Lorraine and Jake seemed to defer to Curtis, so you ended up spending more one on one time with him that you thought you would. Somehow you were able to curb your urge to tell him that you’d almost met him once more.

But every time you thought about mentioning it, mentioning that Kenny had tried to give you his number so that you could talk to someone, you thought about who you ended up talking to instead. At least this time when your mind went to Billy, there was a reason.

And you remembered that Billy had mentioned that he thought he knew the Curtis you had mentioned. The thought of Curtis knowing Billy, maybe knowing how to reach him since you had been ignored, made your chest hurt.

And yeah, maybe part of you wondered if there was any chance that Billy had mentioned you. Somehow you doubted it.

At some point in your tour around the office, making sure everything was up to standards, Curtis got a text message.

“Ah, the boss man is here,” he said as he looked up at you. “Does he need to be down here for this?”

“Well you three are the medics, so technically I just need to make sure that you guys know what you’re doing. But I do need him to sign a few things actually.”

Curtis nodded and typed something up. After a few moments, his phone dinged and he read it quickly.

“He’s gonna be in his office for a while. Once we’re done here, I can walk you up that way.”

You kept that in mind as you went over the rest of the information with them. Once you were satisfied, you had them sign off on the procedures. Then you turned to Curtis and gave him a smile.

“Lead the way Mr Hoyle,” you said with a nod.

Curtis walked beside you through the halls. You’d noticed the peculiar gait he had and it took a moment to realize that he probably had a prosthetic limb. You started to feel bad for asking him to take you but you remembered that he had offered.

At the office, you remembered what Ethan had said about Mr Russo’s scars. At least you would be prepared. You didn’t want the man to feel worse than he probably already did considering he apparently often hid himself from the world.

Curtis knocked on the door and pushed it open.

“Miss Y/L/N needs your signature,” he said before he stepped out. “It was nice to meet you. Thanks for the training.”

“Of course Mr Hoyle, thank you. I’ll email you all the copies of what you signed when I get back to the office.”

When you stepped into the office, you saw Mr Russo behind his desk. He was looking up at you curiously and you tried not to stare. You crossed over to his desk with the tablet in hand.

You knew what Ethan had meant. Yeah, the scars were bad, but he was still ridiculously attractive. It really wasn’t fair.

“Good afternoon Mr Russo. I just need a few signatures on these procedures. I’m going to email you and your people copies so you can look over it and reach out if you have any questions.”

Mr Russo still stared up at you, but the curiosity had turned to blatant staring at some point. You shifted on your feet as you held the tablet out, wondering why he wasn’t reacting at all.

Did you need to go get Curtis again?

“Mr Russo?”

He seemed to snap back to focus. He grabbed the tablet from you, standing up and walking over to your side as he looked it over. He removed the stylus and signed the first page, gesturing to you with it. You looked it over from the side and flipped through to the next page where you needed his signature.

“Right there,” you said as you tapped the box so he could sign something hastily. “Aaaaand here,” you added as you flipped to the next one.

Once he had finished signing, he held the tablet out to you. You reached out for it with a smile, your eyes darting from his intense gaze to the device. You reached out to accept the stylus but froze.

You had stared at some of the photos Billy had sent you for a long time. Almost to the point where you thought you could draw his hands from memory. Was it completely insane for you to think that these hands looked so much like his?

You looked back up and met his eyes as you took the stylus, your finger brushing against his. His mouth opened slightly, those dark eyes narrowing in on you.

“Thank you Mr Russo,” you said softly, uncertain. It was all in your head, right? You just missed Billy. “I’ll email the copies as soon as I can. It’s been a pleasure.”

You held your hand out to him and waited. After a moment, he wrapped his hand around yours, giving it a quick, perfunctory shake.

After you had your hand back, you slid the tablet back into your bag. You were very aware that Mr Russo was still staring at you. You gave him a brief smile and turned to leave, unsure what else to do.

As you reached the door, he spoke for the first time since you’d walked in.

“Y/N,” he called, his voice strained.

How… Curtis had referred to you as Miss Y/L/N and you hadn’t introduced yourself. It was the first thing that you thought when he’d said your name.

And then you realized that you recognized the voice. It was different in person, but it was still so familiar.

You’d missed it so much these past few weeks.

Back tense, you turned to look at him. He was still standing where you’d left him, his eyes wide as he looked at you. And even though there was no way that this was real, you couldn’t help but respond.

“Billy?”

His eyes widened and you watched him slump against the desk. It was him. After weeks of radio silence, weeks of missing someone you kept being told to get over, you were face to face with him.

You watched him swallow, his mouth working silently for a moment before he said your name again.

“Y/N, I can–”

No. Even the pleasure at hearing him say your name again, in person no less, wasn’t enough to overturn the pain you’d gone through for weeks.

“I’ll forward you the finalized copies shortly Mr Russo,” you said in what you hoped was a professional voice before you turned around to leave.

You barely refrained from running from his office, taking the steps two at a time to the front of the warehouse. You heard your name being called, but it wasn’t from Billy. Ethan was standing nearby, confusion on his face. He made his way over to you, his arm immediately going around your shoulders.

“You okay? You’re shaking,” he said as he looked over his shoulder in the direction you’d just come from. “What the hell happened in there?”

“It’s nothing,” you said, voice shaking and undermining what you were saying. “I’ll explain it to you later E, I promise, but I gotta get out of here.”

He nodded, guiding you towards the doors. You couldn’t help but peek over his shoulder. Billy was in the windows that had been behind his desk, overlooking the training area. You knew he could see you so you turned to look forward again.

“I’m calling Ken though. He’s off work today. I don’t like you leaving while you’re like this. I can ask Russo if I can leave early–”

“No, don’t,” you said in a rush, your eyes almost darting back up to where you’d seen Billy moments ago. “I’ll go straight to my office and finish this up and then I’ll go to your place. Please, don’t leave work because of this.”

You could tell that he wanted to push back, but instead he nodded. He leaned in and pressed a kiss to your forehead, walking you the rest of the way to the front.

“I’m still calling Kenny,” he said with a smile.

You didn’t expect any less.

------

Kenny had pulled you into the office and marched you over to the couch before you even had a chance to knock. After you’d gone to your office to email the papers to the people that needed them, you’d left work a little early and went straight to Kenny and Ethan’s place. And it seemed that Kenny had been waiting for you.

“So I get this long text from Ethan while I’m doing dishes, right? About how you had been at Anvil and the last he’d seen, you were fine, but then you come back and you look like you just saw a ghost. He told me that you wouldn’t let him ask off work to stay with you and he was worried. And I already don’t like my best friend being upset and my boyfriend being upset, but both of them? It was a fun afternoon.”

“Kenny,” you started, but he held up a hand and didn’t let you finish.

“I started to think about what it could have been because you’ve been doing great. Then I remembered that Curtis started to work for Anvil recently. Of course I discarded that idea because Curtis wouldn’t have done anything to hurt you. But then,” he said pointedly, letting you know that this was the part for you to focus on, “then I remembered his boss’s name. William Russo; known to most people as Billy.”

You felt sick. You weren’t even sure if you were crying or if your body was just shaking, but Kenny immediately wrapped his arms around you.

“It was him, wasn’t it? And he was there? How’d you recognize him?”

You wiped at your face but your hand came back dry.

“He uh, he recognized me. He just kept staring at me and I thought… but I wasn’t sure. I was just about to leave and he said my name.”

Him saying your name had always been one of your favorite parts of your phone calls. And the night… well, the night things had gone to hell, him calling out your name? You wished you could say that you didn’t hear it in your dreams, but it’d be a lie.

“Shit. Did he even try to explain why he ghosted you?”

You could vaguely remember him starting to say something before you cut him off. Maybe he had been about to explain, but you couldn’t hear it. You couldn’t listen to anything he had to say.

Kenny took your silence to mean that Billy hadn’t explained. He tugged you back into a hug and sighed, his hand pressing to the back of your head as he held you.

You would have to explain it all to Ethan. You doubted Kenny had betrayed your privacy by telling him before now, but he deserved to know.

You just hoped it wouldn’t affect him at work.

------

It was quiet in your apartment. You’d settled down in the chair, your legs drawn up to your chest as you stared at the muted television. Ethan now knew everything. After you told him what happened and talked to the two of them for a while longer, you had come home.

It’d been a long day and you should want to go to bed, but you knew your dreams would be of Billy. Now you knew what he looked like so it would give those memories and fantasies a face.

Was that why he’d been so against you seeing his face? The scars were bad, sure, but you didn’t care. Even if he hadn’t still been ridiculously attractive, you didn’t think those scars would have changed how you felt about him.

Your phone lit up on the coffee table and you sighed. Kenny had told you he’d call and check in, but you thought he had meant tomorrow.

When you grabbed the device, you nearly dropped it when you saw that Billy’s name was flashing on the screen. In your shock, you let it ring through. Once the screen went dark, you wondered if you should try to call him back.

Did you want to talk to him? You deserved an explanation at least.

Before you could convince yourself to call him back and demand an explanation, the phone started to ring again. This time you answered.

“Well it only took you three weeks,” you said in a flat voice, your hand shaking against your knee. “Granted I’m well aware you wouldn’t have called if I hadn’t come to Anvil, so I guess it shouldn’t count.”

“I wanted to explain at the office, but you didn’t seem like you wanted to hear it.”

You settled into the chair with a frown.

“Because it was three weeks too late, Billy. I tried, you know, I tried to get an explanation from you. Hell, I would have accepted you telling me to fuck off. But instead I just got ghosted. And right after…” You couldn’t fill in that blank, but you didn’t think he needed you to. “So no, I didn’t want to hear your explanation today. I shouldn’t have to hear some bullshit three weeks later just because I was there.”

There was nothing but silence on the other line. You pulled the phone back and saw that it was still connected, so you knew he hadn’t hung up. This time.

“Why did you even… you could have just stayed quiet. I wouldn’t have known that it really was you. I could have just left, no drama.”

He would have known it was you, but you could have been blissfully unaware.

“I thought you deserved to know,” he said softly, to the point that you had to strain your ears just to hear him. And then a little clearer, “What do you mean you wouldn’t have known it really was me?”

You hadn’t realized you’d said that. You closed your eyes but decided what did this matter? You’d already had your heart broken; a little embarrassment was nothing, right?

“Your hands. When I was taking the stylus from you, I saw your hands. They just, well, they just looked familiar. I told myself it was just in my head. That I missed you and that’s why I thought they looked like yours.”

This time the silence was a little more pronounced. You were just about to pull the phone back and check again when he cleared his throat.

“You missed me?”

You felt like cold water had been dumped over your head. It was your turn to clear your throat as you tried to come up with something to say to that, some response. You weren’t sure why you decided to just lay it all out for him, but you were tired of holding it in.

“Yeah, I missed you. You were important to me. You made me happy, even just… just as friends. And then what happened after, well, after what we did, it…” You felt like you couldn’t breathe. You took a deep breath, your eyes screwed shut as you continued. “I don’t think I ever told you about Paul, my ex. He made it so that my whole world revolved around him and then when that wasn’t enough, he got violent. And because of that, you know, I thought I wouldn’t ever get to that place again. I thought that I couldn’t handle intimacy in any form because it was going to make me vulnerable and I never wanted to be in that place again.”

You were crying. You wiped at the tears, but it didn’t matter. It was plain in your voice that you were crying.

“And then I get to that point again, for the first time since everything went to hell, and it’s great. Not just because it’s great,” you stressed, unable to help the little laugh you let out at the word play, “but because it was someone that I trusted and that I thought… someone I cared about. And for a split second, I let myself think that being vulnerable wasn’t that bad. And then my heart is being ripped out of my chest and I’m left to pick up the pathetic pieces.”

The tears were still falling. You felt like your body had been dragged behind a car and all you wanted to do is hang up and go to bed, but you didn’t move. You tried to get your breathing under control, focusing on that first. Once you were sure you weren’t about to break down into sobs again, you tried again.

“I should have listened when my sister and Kenny and Ethan told me to get over you,” you whispered as you wrapped your arm around your legs.

And yet you still didn’t hang up. You rested your head on your knees and waited.

From the other end of the call, you heard his breath catch at that last part. Maybe you shouldn’t have included Ethan in the list, but it was true.

“I pushed you away,” he admitted, his voice thick with tension. “I know it was the coward’s way out, but I had my reasons. I figured if you saw my face that you’d–”

“That I’d what, run away screaming? You thought so little of me that you didn’t trust that I wouldn’t give a damn about some scars?”

“No,” he said in a raised voice, not quite yelling but close enough to make you jerk upwards in surprise, “no, I didn’t think that little of you. I think that little of myself. You never saw me before the accident, but yeah, I’ll admit to being insecure. And I didn’t think I was worthy of this thing with you unless it was anonymous. I figured that way you wouldn’t know what you were missing.”

He had said that without seeing his face, you could imagine whatever you wanted. It made sense, looking back, but it didn’t stop the hurt you felt. He had run away from you because of his scars; he didn’t even give you a chance to show him that it didn’t matter to you.

“If that’s how you felt, you should have just told me to stop. To stop sending the pictures, to stop flirting. When you called me, the things you said, I thought that you wanted me too, but if you didn’t want that, you should have–”

“Of course I wanted you,” he said quickly, drawing you up short in your emotional ramble. “When I realized it was you in my office this afternoon, I felt like I was having a heart attack. I heard your voice and I thought it was you, and then you were there—close enough to touch, to smell your perfume—and you looked so much better in person than you do in pictures. And you weren’t looking at me in fear or disgust. You just… looked at me.”

You let out a watery laugh, running your nails over the cloth that covered your knee.

“My first thought when I saw you was that it wasn’t fair that you were that attractive, actually,” you informed him as you sniffled, wiping under your eyes.

He sighed and you wondered what was going through his head.

“That night when you texted me, after I hung up, you said that you wanted me.”

There was a lump in your throat and no matter how many times you swallowed, it didn’t disappear. It felt like your heart was going to break all over again.

“Yeah, I d–did,” you said, stumbling over the last word and which tense you wanted to use.

You could hear him sigh again, the noise carrying over the line. You bit your lip to keep it from wobbling as you waited to see what he’d say.

“If there’s any chance that you still feel that way or that you might, some day, feel that way again, I just want you to know that I want to try again. No walls this time. I want to take you out on a date and meet your sister and your nephew and Kenny and Ethan—although I already know Ethan, actually—and I want to show you that I can do better. You deserve better and I want to give that to you.”

The tears on your cheeks were fresh. You dropped your forehead to your knees, not sure if you wanted to cry or laugh at that moment.

“You think it’ll just work like that? You want to do better and I deserve better and that erases what happened? Suddenly it doesn’t matter that we have phone sex and then two minutes later you break my heart?”

“I didn’t say that,” he said softly. And then a little firmer, “I know that I fucked up; I’m not denying that. What I’m saying is that I want to make it up to you. I’m sorry for what I did. I was sorry the moment I did it, but I stupidly thought I knew how it’d end so I decided to end it before it got that far. I fucked up. Let me show you how it should have gone.”

You sniffled as you sat up again, the beginning of something brewing in your chest.

“How should it have gone?”

There was an audible sigh of relief on the other end of the line.

“Well when you said that you didn’t want to imagine anyone else, I should have told you about my accident. I should have told you about the scars so that when I sent you a picture, you wouldn’t have been surprised. And then if you were sure that they didn’t bother you, I should have asked you out on a date. Maybe not somewhere too public because I still get looks and I haven’t figured out how to react yet, but somewhere with the two of us. I should have shown you that I was falling for you. And that you were the only thing that I wanted more than I wanted my face back.”

You were crying again, but it wasn’t in pain this time. Or maybe it was, but a different kind of pain. This was loss of something you could have had. Three weeks of silence when it could have been handled so differently.

But you didn’t want to dwell on that. You needed to make a decision.

You looked at the clock on your bookshelf and bit your lip. It was just after eight.

“Do you know that diner a few blocks down from Anvil, the one that’s open all night? I can’t remember the name,” you offered a little helplessly.

“Yeah?” He sounded so hopeful.

“It’s usually empty around this time except for the people that work there and a few college kids. Do you uh, would you want to meet me there?”

You held your breath as you waited for a response, but it was there before you had a chance to think twice.

“I can be there in twenty,” he replied easily. “And Y/N?”

Your name on his lips once more. Butterflies erupted in your stomach at the sound.

“Yeah?”

You could hear a smile in his voice.

“Thank you for giving me a second chance.”

You closed your eyes and took a deep breath.

“Don’t make me regret it Billy, please. I don’t think I could handle that again.”

------

A kiss was placed to your cheek and you looked up, smiling as lips met yours in retaliation.

“Hi,” you mumbled into the kiss, clutching Billy’s collar and pulling him in a little closer. “I missed you.”

He pulled back long enough to mumble the words back before he kissed you again, diving in a bit deeper this time.

“Okay guys, there’s a baby present,” Kris complained with a grin as she switched Liam over to her other arm. “We gotta tell auntie to keep it PG, don’t we? Because she can’t keep her hands off her man and it’s gross.”

Billy settled in next to you in the booth, grinning over at Kris. Kenny and Ethan were on the inside of the half moon shaped booth, both of them rolling their eyes.

“Sorry Kris,” he offered, leaning over to tug on the blanket so that he could see Liam’s face. “And sorry Liam, but one day you’ll meet some girl and you’ll understand.”

“Hey, he could meet some guy,” Kenny complained with a pout, earning a kiss to the cheek from Ethan.

“Let’s not start debating the kid’s sexuality before he’s even a year old,” Ethan said, grinning at Kris as he did so.

“Touche,” Billy said as he raised the beer you had ordered him to his employee. Then he leaned into your shoulder. “Sorry I’m late, by the way. I got stuck in traffic.”

You leaned up and kissed his cheek, a move that had taken you a while to get him used to. You barely noticed the scars on his cheeks and while he was a great deal better now, you knew he still had moments of insecurity.

Hell, it’d taken all this time for him to start being able to go in public again.

“I’ll forgive you this time,” you joked as you laced your fingers with his, pushing a menu between the two of you so that you could both look. “Kenny was just telling us about him walking into his boss’s office and seeing her changing. He’s traumatized and it’s hilarious.”

Billy didn’t even get a chance to say anything before Ethan cut in.

“That’s why I always knock before I go into your office Billy,” he said with a grin, his eyes going between the two of you, “because I feel like I’d respect you more as a boss and Y/N more as a friend if I don’t see you two having sex.”

“Hey!” you cried, laughing even as you felt your cheeks heat up.

“Wait, you two haven’t actually had sex in his office, have you?” Kris looked between your ashamed face and Billy’s very satisfied smirk and let out a loud groan. “You two aren’t allowed to babysit Liam anymore. I don’t trust you guys not to go off into a dark corner to boink. Seriously, at what point in a relationship do you stop wanting to be all over each other?”

“Hopefully never,” Billy said as he brushed his nose against your cheek, making you smile.

“They’ll get out of that stage,” Kenny said with a wave of his hand. “Ethan and I have been together for five years and we’re not that bad.”

You gaped as you looked between the two of them.

“You’re kidding me, right? I had to buy earplugs my third day living with you guys and I was on the other side of the apartment. I feel bad for the people that share a wall with your bedroom.”

As the group dissolved into laughter at that, Kris jokingly scolding the two of them for scarring her baby sister, Billy wrapped his arm around your waist and tugged you in closer to him.

“Maybe because I almost lost the chance to ever get this, I don’t ever want to miss a chance again,” he whispered into your ear, just for you.

You looked up at him and smiled softly. The memory of the pain was so faint that you could almost laugh about it now. He’d more than made up for his poor reaction in the time that passed.

“I love you,” you whispered, pressing a kiss to his lips.

“I love you,” he replied back just as quietly, his lips brushing yours as he spoke. You could see the mischief in his eyes as he glanced over at the table where your friends and family were still distracted. “Wouldn’t want to sneak away to the bathroom or my car, would you?”

You grinned wide, kissing him again.

You really needed to thank Kenny and Ethan for having such horrible handwriting that you couldn’t tell the difference between Billy’s number and Curtis’s. The difference it made in your life was palpable and you couldn’t imagine a life without Billy.

Guess there was no such thing as a wrong number.

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