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dozing-marshmallow · 8 months

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WATCHING THE MEG 2: TRENCH WITH CHRIS MCLEAN (X READER)

(Spoiler warning for those who haven’t seen it! Let me know what other movies you’d like to see with Chris, etc- I’ll be releasing a request blog soon! <3)

Chris was a complicated man. He was picky, yet laid back about all sorts of things. But if there’s one thing he loves, is a good laugh. Where does a good laugh come from? Entertainment. And what kind of entertainment gives Chris a good laugh? The pain of others. So what movie would be better to sit to with him other than the newly released Meg 2?

“Ooooo a shark movie! If I’m lucky, I might get some inspo from this for next season!” He laughed, gleefully rubbing his hands together.

“Did you...not see the first one?” (Y/N) blinked, setting it up.

“I’m a busy man, (Y/N).” He snapped elegantly.

“Fair enough.” It was ready to play,“You want popcorn or soda?”

“Yes please.”

So the entire room settled into darkness, with the only source of light illuminating from the large screen and the two next to each other, already stuffing themselves with cinema snacks.

The opening played a dragonfly, getting swallowed by a lizard, which got picked up by the mouth of a snapper dinosaur that rapidly got locked in the roaring jaw of a t-rex. Already, Chris had things to say.

“I thought this was a shark movie.” He snarked, turning to (Y/N), which she found no sense in.

“Why are you looking at me like I made it!?”

“You were the one that told me it was a shark movie.”

“Because that’s what it is!”

“Noo. It’s a prehistoric shark movie. Get it right.”

She couldn’t be bothered to correct him when he was going to see for himself,“Chris man, just watch the movie!”

“Fine!”

“I’ve been training Haiqi since she was a pup. We have a special bond.”

“Between her jaw and you, yes.” His voice cute.

“I’m surprised you didn’t train a shark like that to be your pet.” (Y/N) thought aloud, now curious of how Chris spent all that time surrounded by sharks and never tried domesticating one.

“When you already have a Venus flytrap that can partake in a marathon, who needs a shark?”

Ah. Right.“Touché.”

“Why doesn’t that shark go crazy and eat them? They’re vulnerable, they’re all on the boat like shrimp!” He complained, watching the crowd of well dressed guests at the party watching in awe at the spotlight the meg was in.

“That’s true, but I guess it’s a good shark.”

“They’re all good, (Y/N).” He firmly affirmed otherwise.

“Huh... I like her.” Chris spoke about Meiying,“Did we ever had anyone who jinxed like that on the show?”

“I think so...” She trailed off, seeing the characters lose control of the submarines.

He began cracking up again,“This about to get a whole lot more interesting.”

Chris groans when the sharks started spawning and failed to catch the cast(apart from two adults) who were currently navigating on the sea floor after their submarines crashed.

“Everyone make it to the station!” Jonas ordered.

“Yeah...” Chris yawned,“Make it to the station.”

After they did, one of the women, Curtis, had her skull implode just in time as a result of her cracked helmet and water pressure- her remains violently sprayed on the ground. Chris’ reaction? Chortling. Told you. Sadist. You shake your head as the characters easily move on from the disturbing tragedy and continued their search to flee.

“So, are they safe now or something?” Chris asked.

“Not really. They’re still at the depths of the ocean.”

“Just like Julia’s phones.”

“Uh...so they’re all bad guys?” Chris processed in a questioning tone, watching Driscoll demanding orders from her luxurious accommodation to Jess, the mole who suddenly switched up on Jonas’ team.

“Yep.”

He groaned in annoyance,”Came out of nowhere, but I can deal with that.” He kept quiet to watch her eject two escape pods and hearing how if Jonas was to get killed,”She’d at least let the kid take an escape pod?”

“Yeah. Unlike some people.” She made sure to add that sharply, intentionally making it obvious to who she directed it to.

“Unlike some people who have a hosting job on the hottest reality show and more, you mean?” It’s never not funny whenever he takes these things personally.

“Hey awesome! That man’s name was DJ!” Chris announced in enthusiasm. For someone who shared the same name of one of his earlier contestants, he seemed intrigued to watch how this DJ was; the DJ in the movie put his training claims to action as he successfully knocked out some of the mercenaries he and Mac encountered on the base swaying on the salty water.

Fast forward to when the group managed to get up to the surface and were currently embarking their way on a defenceless dinghy away from the Mana One.

“I still think we look like fools” said man remarked.

“Darn right.” Chris agreed,“Unlike our DJ, this DJ knows how to fight!”

“Doesn’t our DJ also know how to fight?”

“What, you ever seen it?” He snorted,“He wouldn’t even hurt a fly!”

“Aw man. I remember when I used to cuss like that.” Chris laments, watching a scene where the adults were using vulgar language,“Had to stop though because the network wanted to keep Total Drama family friendly.”

“Really?” No way that’s where television standards drew the line,“The shot of Heather’s top being ripped off and Duncan flipping off the cameras could make the cut, but it’d be problematic if you swore? A lot of people swore on that show but had the good old pixels over their mouths and bleeps.”

“In case you haven’t realised, (Y/N), I’m grown.” He glared,”I don’t do outbursts like teenagers, nor should I, so it’d be really unprofessional, and awkward for the editors to have to go through that for a host who shoulda known better.” Really? He doesn’t do outbursts?,“Besides, it wouldn’t be fair reality tv to cut everything out. It’s scenes like that that really keep the ratings high and their self esteem low.”

What a Chris thing to say,“No comment.”

“Good, cuz we’re in the middle of watching a film. Hush.” He put his finger to his lips in attempt to shush her.

She could only kiss her teeth in disbelief.

“Hey (Y/N), are you seeing what I’m seeing?” Chris asked after a tense while of silence of keeping thoughts to themselves, ironic that it’s he who broke it given

What happened to we’re in the middle of watching a film?

“Anyways, you’re telling me those sharks escaped the trench and the first thing all of them do is approach the same island?” He asked, completely deflecting the thing he was so-called against.

“Looks like it.” It’s easier to go along with it.

He sighed,“I’m starting to think the writers were swapping cassettes whilst writing this.”

How does that...whatever.

The movie then focused on a young couple out of many on a boat, with the man proposing to his girlfriend. He accidentally drops the ring, to which his now fiancé scolds him into finding. Just when he found it, his girl was gone. He looked around in confusion and called for her name, but nothing. Except from the tentacles that terrorised everyone into capsizing.

“Let me guess,” she started, throwing a handful of popcorn in her mouth,”This is your new ideal way to propose to me.”

“Nah. Normally I wouldn’t mind the thought of you dying during our engagement, but a shark wouldn’t return me your finger to keep the ring on.” He didn’t even take his eyes of the screen to admit that.

She slowly turned to him, trying to register what he said,”So what you’re saying is, you wouldn’t care if I died this entire time just as long as you still had my body?”

“Something like that. Take that as compliment, I actually care about you.” Just as he said that, the movie cuts to Jonas and his allies arriving to the island, urgently alerting the tourists in raised voices to get out of the water.

...In a way, I guess that was sweet? I don’t know, maybe it’s one of those things he says with his chest yet still doesn’t mean all the way.

There was a scene of another couple, where this time, they were in a paddle boat of their own. This time around, the shark made itself known earlier, so they were naturally screaming and pedalling for their lives out of the water, just to get swallowed whole by the shark. Needless to say, Chris’ laugh was the only thing she could hear, even past the scene. It had never been so loud before.

What did I say?

“(Y/N)! Why...didn’t you tell me we were watching a comedy?” He chocked out as a scene of megs bite through boardwalks and running tourists flashed on the screen.

“Because Chris, it’s actually not that funny. Imagine if they were your parents.” She dragged out to guilt trip him.

Which of course, backfired,“Like my parents would have ever done something as stupid as going on whatever that thing was when they have the ocean to go in.”

She shrugged,“Well since that couple were wearing clothes, I could only assume they either didn’t want to swim or simply couldn’t.”

“Okay, that’s just being generous,” He giggled, wiping his eyes,”But you can’t tell me you didn’t think they were annoying. Shark did us a favour!” He took a slurp from his soda,“If they really couldn’t swim, they woulda worn life jackets.”

“What, and inflate them as they’re getting swallowed by the shark?”

“Exactly! It’ll be like popping candy!”

Nah man.

“Where did those things come from!?” Chris exclaimed confused as the dinosaur looking animals chased the mercenaries that managed to arrive to the island.

“From the trench as well, I think?” Or else they wouldn’t have allowed people to come there, but she thought back to Chris’ observation about how it was strange all these marine creatures decided to go to the same place.

“Really.” He ignored the fact he remembered seeing them swimming earlier in a collective.

“Yeah, that’s why that lady was shocked that they could walk!”

“Y’know, I see a bit of myself in Jiuming.” Chris confesses, witnessing said man distracting the nearby giant lizard by banging a shovel and hammer together whilst Mac ran for the helicopter,“Always expected to do the impossible things, always doing life risky activities for the sake of other people, always having to be up to the task to not let down those around you...”

“Are you sure you’re not just describing your interns?” She put out bluntly, Jiuming now having to hold the pressure of getting the helicopter gas whilst having a batch of those giant lizards chasing him, savagely.

“What’s your point? You say that as if they have dignity written in their DNA.” Chris shot back in that remorseless manner.

She’s speechless,“Chris... That was a bit far, don’t you think?”

He rolled his eyes,“Just the truth, ma’am.”

“Where did the octopus come from!?” (Y/N) exclaimed, in profound puzzlement as the rubbery strands for legs shot up from the ocean and zigzagged through the beach.

“It’s a Kraken actually.” There Chris was, having more concern over her misuse of classification, clearly less surprised than she was,”And it was actually there from when the gang tried walking in the ocean. And Chef says I need glasses!”

“Alright...” she scoffs, and now that he brought that up,”Hey, hey Chris.”

“Yeah?”

“The lady whose helmet imploded.”

He started chortling again, too busy to pay attention to the creep getting swung forcefully into the ocean by one of the lengthy tentacles of the Kraken.

“Euuugh good, I’m glad that weirdo’s gone.” She remarks spitefully.

“Which weirdo?” He asked, laughter stopping.

“The one that was hitting on those ladies then had the audacity to try hide behind them.”

“Ohh...” He breathed in through his teeth,”Not cool dude.”

Now the helicopter was deconstructed, Jiuming was thrown into the ocean, fighting for his life as the kraken sprung a tentacle around him. Just as it seemed that all hope was lost, the meg came in and saved the day. As Jiuming found his new chance to escape, the kraken was busy wrapping its massive tentacles tight around the shark, resulting Chris to give (Y/N) a suggestive look.

“Come on Chris, you know that’s not the type of inspo you wanted.”

He snickered,”Suit yourself.” and put his view back on the movie.

Fast forward to when Haiqi approached over and her owner attempted the sound activity that failed in the beginning.

“Yes, finally! Attack him! Bite him! Eat him! Eat him!” Chris clearly wanting it to fail again, through his whooping for the impending jaw snapping death. This behaviour was all too familiar.

Fortunately (not for Chris), Haiqi must’ve appeared to recognise Jiuming because she sheered right away from him. Chris’ ambition immediately turned into a fit.

“No no no, what are you doing!? The guy was right there! Boooooo! Worst shark ever!” He shouted at the screen, sitting back down in disgust, watching Haiqi chase after dolphins,“Are you kidding me right now? The one time this movie wants to be scientifically accurate is for this scene?”

“Chris chiiiill. You’ve already seen it and its friends eat dozens of people. Poor innocent unsuspecting annoying people. Your favouriiiite.” She sang.

“...True.” He grumbled,“I liked him anyway.”

“Yay! Happy ending! All the best guys survived and enjoy the beach whilst all the hoes got eaten by the shark and more along the way!” (Y/N) cheered, throwing her popcorn box in the air, unintentionally stretching. Ah, just what she needed after an hour of sitting!

“...Hm.” Chris on the other hand had his thumb under his chin, as though he was deep in thought to realise the movie had ended.

“What’s the matter, Chris?” It was going to be something only he would be preoccupied with.

“I’m wondering if I could get the legal rights to rewrite this...and rename Camp Wawanakwa to Fun Island...”

Joke thing. “Oh come onnnnn. You know you liked it.”

“...Okay, that lady who thought she was safe inside that chamber before she died...” he chuckled,”That made up for it. It was so funny how that guy was so devastated by it. And that other witch who got dragged by those Slappers. A well deserved death for a well dressed idiot, who goes into those kinds of situations in party clothes!?”

“I think they were called Snappers... And you can’t tell me those were the only scenes you liked! How about the way that annoying guy died?”

“Which one? There were plenty.”

She laughed,“Y’know Montes? The one that was devastated over that lady on the phone? The one that was trying to shoot up Jonas when he was doing the Lord’s work, and fell into the Meg’s mouth?”

“Ohhhhh yeaaaaah! It was so clean, I’m gutted I didn’t come up with it!”

She momentarily rested her head on his shoulder,“My favourite part is knowing the dog survived.”

“Only exception. It’d be lazy if they killed the dog off.”

She suddenly remembered what Chris said and takes her head off to look at him,”Did you get your inspo?”

A sinister smile crawled onto his face as he proudly took out a notebook, with bold words scribbled at the top “TDI future ideas”. “Absolutely.”

...(Y/N) says her condolences for those poor contestants.

#td chris #total drama #chris mclean #chris mclean x reader #td chris mclean x reader #total drama chris mclean #tdi x reader #total drama island chris #total drama one shot #meg 2: the trench #total drama scenarios #tdi

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