#drowning meteor and flies

[astracora]

Love and Deepspace Series Masterlist

A Mandated Holiday Break (Poly LADs, Sylus-Centric) COMPLETE

Chapter One Why Sylus doesn't send them messages in any normal way, they'll never understand. He enjoys phone calls, texts them constantly, but whenever he wants to be dramatic, in flies Mephisto with a letter or a note, on a blaze of feathers and metal. Chapter Two His steps falter, looking at you, hearing his name. So warm, so sweet, so perfect. As you drift back off, he is walks down halls that aren't long enough. Into his lair and to a place he can't be disturbed with you. Chapter Three Calmed and riled and fragile but so warm and safe. The feeling is chaotic and terrifying but if he could spend his life feeling it, his very very long life. That only you can end, and when you choose to, he hopes it's alongside yours. Chapter Four What dragon is not greedy? What dragon would not want his greatest treasure at his side always? Chapter Five He refuses to let you think he is not earnest. Never to lie, never to flatter. You will never doubt his affections, he promises. Chapter Six You smell like his last meal in every life. Like he could bite down and die happy, your blood in his mouth and your soul in his chest. Chapter Seven He's sure if he were better practiced in his emotions he'd cry. Instead he just encompasses you in his body, squeezing and holding and drowning in you. Chapter Eight If he wakes up tomorrow and you are not here, he will find you anywhere. He has done it before, and he will do it for the rest of time, because you are the one who sees him. Chapter Nine You bite his nose and then his neck, but there’s no venom in it. He becomes far too busy squeezing your legs and kissing, open mouthed up your neck, to really care either way. Chapter Ten Sylus isn't used to people touching him. If anyone does, it's often sharp, and jagged and with intent to harm or kill. No matter how far back he thinks, he's known very little contact that hasn't come at a price. Chapter Eleven You're so smug, wearing a smirk he knows is an impression of him. All canines. He loves you, irritable little kitten that you are, because you're as smart as you are curious. As feisty as you are gentle.

The Cat Curse - MC Edition (Poly LADs, Sylus-Centric) ON-HOLD

Chapter 1 A dragon does not love lightly. Though you don't remember the depths he has gone to for you. This is an easy act of devotion. Chapter 2 He tilts your head to look at him, and presses his fingers against your closed lips. “If you want the mark to stay, you have to bite harder.” Chapter 3 You think about his hand clasping yours in front of the datura, pulling you back despite the deep pit of yearning in your heart to bury yourself amongst the bright red flowers.

Turning Point (Poly!LADs - Pre-relationship) COMPLETE

Part One Sylus feels like he should be making notes, these people are the closest people to his kitten, other than the other hunters you're closest to. Every bit of information he has about you, builds that puzzle up, but he notices blood on the floor. Part Two You'd spent this whole time ignoring it, like if you ignore it, it won't turn into a monster and rip you apart. It sits there, silver metal and black leather. The urge to throw it doesn't come back, which surprises you. Part Three It is not just Zayne that tethers you to the hospital, it is the heart in your chest, the illness in your life, the injuries from your job, and now the prosthetic on the bench. Part Four He thinks about the trembling in your body, the tears that won't fall in your eyes. He is stuck. Xavier is stuck, like he's holding you under a meteor shower again. Shaking you. Part Five It is safe to say the crow is his least favourite. The one who grinds at him most, who plucks and pulls. Like a hook in his upper lip. He dreams of drowning the man… he would if the look in your eyes didn't stop him. Part Six His hand itches, the thorn wall is thick. He knows it will slice his hand open if he reaches through it. The pain would be worth it, just like every stab of his ice is worth the moments he protects your back. Part Seven You want them to know, you want to tell them that they are where you belong. You want to believe that with the dagger in your hand, you can protect it and them. A future where, even if it ends before you want, you will always cherish it. Part Eight It is measured, it is careful, and it is spoken on a tremble. Unused to vulnerability, wilfully shown. A wound on display, not hidden and kept under covers. No longer smothered under the bloody blanket, no longer trembling in the darkness.

EVER's Tool (Poly!LADs - Established-relationship + Caleb/MC AU) ONGOING

Chapter One His eyes halt and hold on your form, there is no metal. He looks at the twisted carapace of a wanderer. Segmented into a limb, and long clawed fingers. Sylus feels as though he is staring at his own limb, long ago. When his claws could cut through your flesh with ease, and he could not feel the heat of your skin properly through his own. Chapter Two You think about the man with the green eyes bending down in front of cats, extending his fingers, and frowning just slightly when the creature bolts. You think about him offering bonbons out of his pocket. You think about white lab coats and glasses pushed up as he smiles, as he tends to a jasmine. Chapter Three Kissing you, he imagines, he dreams about, but he knows it can never compare to the real thing. The warmth of you and the taste. Still, he sinks and he devours and he thrills. You gasp against his mouth, reaching up to him, and he responds by pulling you even closer. As close as you can get, without fusing into him. Chapter Four There is a biting, and vicious question that is out of his character, but is full of frustration and anger at all the things he has seen. That reminds him of Sylus on the floor, in pain, gasping. That makes him see the wanderer claw out the corner of his eye. That sees him stitching up a deep gash in Xavier's chest. That hears the eulogy from the bathroom as Rafayel mourns. Chapter Five Regrets ran deep in his home, he supposed. In you, though you refused to share them and kept marching ahead even when you were bleeding and drowning. In Sylus, though he took them a challenge, bloodied hands still reaching forwards. In Zayne, using them as a way to get stronger, to create stronger walls. In Xavier, a sharpening stone for his blade, and a reminder of what motivated him. In himself, chains that kept him tethered… an ache under scales.

Drunken Confessions (All LADs Separate + Poly!LADs) COMPLETE

Caleb This time he can't control the blush, because you do look happy. You've managed to turn in your stool and are now moving your hands up his shirt over his skin. The feeling is like lightning, running through his veins, tingling and burning everywhere your fingers pass over, and he quickly grasps your hands to hold your wrists in one of his. "Let's get you home, Pipsqueak." Zayne His cheeks feel warm, because he would. You look tired, sad, with glistening eyes and are dishevelled. Like a painting he'd see on the wall in a gallery, of beautiful sorrow. If it were a better circumstance, he would want this view every day. Xavier He will give you everything, he will. If you can be patient, if you can give him time. He will. He swears it. You're already asleep when he finally finds his voice again, when he feels the ache of hundreds of years subside. When he stops feeling every guilt and shade and shadow on his shoulders. Rafayel You laugh, softly, head falling down to his shoulder, nose brushing against his neck, and his head feels fuzzy. The sensation of your skin so warm against his, that feels like ice. Goosebumps raise at every point you touch. He can't tell what is the alcohol and what is the bond. What is you. Sylus There's a sigh he has to bite back, because he remembers you angry and full of fire, and broken. He remembers that amidst all the strength is a soul that has been twisted against its will. He takes your face in his hands, tilting your head up to look directly into his eyes, and smoothes his thumb over your cheeks, "You are worth the time, kitten. Worth the work. Worth it all. You could never bother me, in any way I do not want. Do you understand?" Poly!LADs Always too much fun with them, not a single dull moment, feeling them pull and draw out the parts of you that were stronger as a child. The joy, the thrill of life, the satisfaction, all the feeling of being able to just exist and be silly, to have fun. Lost somewhere along the way at the pain of an unknown timeline, at the constant hurdles of life demanding you grow stronger when you had no ground to stand upon.

<- Other LADs Masterlists

[fantasticsims]

Disclaimer: This challenge is a 2.0 version (or more? I don’t know) of the Black Widow Challenge that already exists but with different rules & goal. I mostly wrote this for myself but I figured: why not share it out there if anyone wants to try it out. It's totally possible something like this already exists so I'm not claiming originality for the idea of making a challenge out of killing Sims 😈

Your Sim wants to be rich, live a simple life but most of all, has had enough of living in their small apartment while doing odd jobs going nowhere. And what’s better than marrying someone rich? The only problem to this answer: your Sim is not really into the whole marriage thing. Luckily, accidents happen.

Your Sim has to go from a life of misery in a San Myshuno apartment to living in the house of their dreams in the world of their choice. Your Sim has to marry many Sims (especially the wealthy!) and each spouse has to experience a different death.

MAKING YOUR SIM -

Your Sim can have any trait you want, but they must have at least ONE negative trait of your choosing.

Pick an ASPIRATION among the ones below and try to complete it before becoming an elder:

- Serial Romantic - Villainous Valentine - Mansion Baron - Fabulously Rich

THE APARTMENT -

Pick an apartment among the less expensive in the Spice Market district of San Myshuno: Culpepper House, Jasmine Suites or build your own on the Old Salt House lot.

After moving in use the cheat code MONEY and give yourself a budget of 25 000 to decorate your apartment the way you want.

WORKING -

You should have a Level 1 job or something part-time. The goal is not to develop any sort of career, if your Sim obtains a promotion you immediately quit and start a new job. Once you get married, you’re done working for the rest of your Sim life!

You can do any sort of activity that brings you some money such as writing books, knitting, painting, programming OR even become a landlord. You simply can not have a job / develop any sort of career. 

GETTING MARRIED -

Before being able to marry any of your spouse you should check a few things off of your list:

- Have Love and Friendship above 50 (easy!) - You must have the status of boyfriend/girlfriend. - You must have two dates: one at your home and one on a community lot. - Go on a “weekend getaway” aka spend a romantic night out in another world (on a rental lot).

DYING SPOUSE - 

There are around 34 Deaths in the Sims 4. Each of your spouse needs to experience a different kind of death. Because of this, you can do this challenge two ways:

- One Sim: Do as many deaths as possible in your lifespan. You can use potions to live longer if you want to do ALL deaths. - Legacy style: have children carry on the death of the spouses once your own Sim dies of old age. 

YOU CAN - 

- Have as many children as you want or not have any at all with your spouses, you can adopt, or have zero children. The choice is yours! - Have pets, horses, goats, and whatever animal you wish to! 

This is a list of all the possible deaths with each corresponding pack. Some are not on the list such as the ones from the High School Years pack since these deaths only work on teenagers.

Hunger Fire Old Age Overexertion Electrocution Anger Embarrassment Laughter Cow Plant Drowning Meteor Steam - Spa Day Pufferfish poisoning - City Life Sun - Vampires Poison -  Jungle Adventure Rodent Fever - My First Pet Mother Plant - Strangerville Overheating - Seasons Freezing - Seasons Lightning - Seasons Flowers - Seasons Fish Pond -  Get Famous Sharks- Island Living Research Machines -  Discover University Magic Overload - Realm of Magic Murphy Bed - Tiny Living Flies - Eco Lifestyle Beetle Juice - Eco Lifestyle Vending Machine - Snowy Escape Fall - Snowy Escape Killer Chicken - Cottage Living Killer Rabbit - Cottage Living Mold - For Rent Wishing Well -  Romantic Gardens

STEP 1

Life in San Myshuno! Your apartment, the odd jobs, the dates until you finally meet THE ONE, get engaged and finally GET MARRIED.

STEP 2

The married life! Move in with your spouse, get a lover on the side while waiting for you spouse to die. Once you’ve reached 50 in love and friendship with your lover you can actively help with your spouse’s death.

STEP 3

Marriage number 2! Bulldoze your first’s spouse house and get the cash, move in with your second spouse, wait or help for their death once you’ve gotten married (no need to have a lover this time unless you want to).

STEP 4

The Dream House! Bulldoze your second spouse’s home once they die, get the cash and move to the world of your choosing and build the house of your dreams! Keep on marrying sims, nudge their death, cash the money and live your best life.

[fatewoven]

( to lucanis ; whatever you ask for is yours. the stars. the world. sleepless nights and sleep-filled nights of peace. patience. understanding. time - there, with you, at all times. a gift of tangible qualities? it pales in comparison, but even so: a terrarium like object, wherein a wispy wyvern flies around its little forest world, who is made alive by magic, who will continue to fly, so long as he lives )

Life is not what is promised, but what is sought out — although he's rarely been a soul to strive beyond what's expected of his station. Wants, needs, desires, the trappings of a weak mind all placed to the side as his priorities never include himself save for accomplishing what's demanded of him without bringing about any disappointment. Yet, how quickly life changes. A demon encourages indulgent, rebellious acts. And a lover that's not an abstract, but a silhouette solid as memory, tangible in dreams and the waking world alike as Lucanis, indulgent and selfish, kisses the corner of his lotus eyes in greeting before noticing anything else. Silent bleeding, affection, truth, falseness — these unwritten words that are incapable of capturing the entirety nor the enormity of what @theredconqueror means to his heart — and as the other presents a gift, still silent, Lucanis sees the ripple in his mind, still as water. Devotion, unrecognizable as the sea when one drowns in its depth. For now he stands at the shores, gaze flitting between the glass and Valrys' expression. "Did you make this?" Half-light, the question lingers as he pulls his attention away from the enchanted terrarium held in hands that not quite tremble, but hold the terrarium hesitantly nonetheless. "Mi alma... I do not deserve you." Any spoken appreciation seems a futile attempt to express the meteor-bright impact done upon his heart. Voice shimmering with affection, taut and tight from other, nameless emotions that twist the insides to a knotted mess, all he could do is lean against the other. Clamber into an embrace with the intent to spend the hours laying together and observe the little, private world crafted for the sole, impossible purpose of being presented as tribute. As answer, he kisses the other's pulse.

[askthedorkyartist]

Dumb idea for a Sims legacy challenge: Gashlycrumb Tinies challenge.

Start with Amy then kill them off in various ways as close as the poem you can. Good luck getting to Z!

The OG poem if anyone needs it:

A is for Amy who fell down the stairs. (have her fall to her death) B is for Basil assaulted by bears. (idk; killer rabbit?) C is for Clara who wasted away. (go nuts with any kind of illness or have her die of old age/mold. Hell, you could starve her even!) D is for Desmond thrown out of a sleigh. (falling again) E is for Ernest who choked on a peach. (choking if you have Lovestruck installed or bad pufferfish is you have City Living) F is for Fanny sucked dry by a leech. (cowplant, maybe? Flies?) G is for George smothered under a rug. (Murphy bed/vending machine) H is for Hector done in by a thug. (Night wraith, chicken, or urban myth) I is for Ida who drowned in a lake. (drowning, obvi) J is for James who took lye by mistake. (poison, beetle juice, immortality potion or pufferfish) K is for Kate who was struck with an axe. (idk; poison arrow? Vending machine?) L is for Leo who swallowed some tacks. (poison? choking?) M is for Maud who was swept out to sea. (drowning) N is for Neville who died of ennui. (emotional death, maybe? Heartbreak, anger, laughter or info overload if you're feeling ballsy) O is for Olive run through with an awl. (poison arrow, maybe?) P is for Prue trampled flat in a brawl. (prolly chicken, crow or rabbit?) Q is for Quentin who sank in a mire. (death frog hotpot or swimming in the bog) R is for Rhoda consumed by a fire. (get really creative with this one; maybe have her as a vampire and perish by sunlight, have her die by fire, overheating, whatev.) S is for Susan who perished of fits. (Rabid Rodent Fever, poison or laughter?) T is for Titus who flew into bits. (Meteor, stink bomb or died in rocket crash?) U is for Una who slipped down a drain. (drowning) V is for Victor squashed under a train. (murphy bed/vending machine) W is for Winnie embedded in ice. (freezing) X is for Xerxes devoured by mice. (flies or rabid rodent fever) Y is for Yorick whose head was knocked in. (vending machine, murphy bed, meteor) Z is for Zillah who drank too much gin. (beetle juice, immortality potion?)

idc if you wanna do it or not; just have fun with it if you do.

[ayzrules-art]

for @flashfictionfridayofficial ‘across a field’! takes place during a fight/chase scene :D full text under the cut.

The forest ahead of them is drenched in late afternoon sunshine, vivid and vibrant and red—like a new scar, a fresh wound, colored with the hues of slaughter. He watches the agents disappear between the leaves; as if they’re being drowned, swallowed up in a sea of carnage.

Elias signals for them to leave, and they plunge into the trees. They keep pace with Isabella, because she’s a human mage and therefore isn’t afforded the enhanced speed and stamina he and Elias can draw from. Alejandro follows her lead, and it isn’t too long before his eyes can pick out the blur of the vampire’s figure between the branches, a black silhouette racing steadily away from them.

If they can see the vampire, the vampire can see them too. All the more reason to get this over with as quickly as they can. He inhales, focusing on the smell of autumn-sweet air and copper-tinged rot, the tangled maze of roots and brambles underfoot, the dry rustle of foliage as they whip past crimson-orange leaves. The life-essence of the forest and all that lies within is a low thrum scraped along his senses and echoing at the edge of his hearing, eclipsed by the beat of his heart in his ears. His hands flex and close around nothing: anticipation and urgency in equal measure, the first sparks of it simmering over his palms.

They burst out of a dense knot of brush, only to find that they’ve lost sight of the vampire. “Keep going,” Elias hisses, nostrils twitching, and Alejandro doesn’t object—he can still smell her too, the faint scent of dead flowers and rotted blood floating in the gaps between the leaves.

They press on. Alejandro’s footfalls are nimble and sure as he dodges thorny bushes and felled tree trunks. Branches threaten to snag at his hair and clothes, and he avoids them as best as he can, weaving around the gnarled ends that reach out like claws. The world narrows down to his breathing, the expansion and contraction of his lungs and chest, and his pulse seems to pound more loudly as they get closer—like the first muted rumbles of thunder gathering into a storm.

The forest ends a few minutes later. The sky spills down in light, and a vast field spreads out in front of them, brilliant with the gold of dying grass. The vampire is standing in the middle of the field, and Alejandro can pick out the boy’s unconscious form in her arms. It’s clear why she isn’t running: OMS agents are fanned out in a semicircle at the other end of the field, blocking her escape back toward the trees and roadway.

A flicker of movement, then—

The vampire jags to the left. “Get down!” Isabella shouts.

The chill of frost sharpens against his senses. Magic lances out from Isabella’s hands, ice-spears streaking toward the vampire with an almost preternatural accuracy.

Alejandro doesn’t stop to think. He dives for the grass, watching the boy in the vampire’s arms drop at the same time he does. Raw magic rips above him in a crash of pressurized power.

The magic is—a silver mountain, a tsunami, enormous, lightning smashing into impact point and erupting like a volcano. It surges over him and floods his senses and roars into oblivion, sucking all the air away and devouring the oxygen down to suffocation. Alejandro tumbles over the grass and slams himself into the dirt. The wave of magic flies overhead in a scream of pure energy—the concussive force of a bomb compressed into a single blast.

The magic collides into the ground behind him. The earth heaves, and his vision lights up in red. “Elias!” Alejandro calls blindly, scrabbling at the grass as he tries to see past the ringing in his ears and the throbbing in his head. There’s a meteor shower raining behind his eyelids, crushing him apart—a dead weight bashing his sternum with every gasp.

What the hell was that? The explosion of energy leaves him reeling, his magical senses shredded all at once, sliced and slashed and shattered like flesh flayed open to expose nerve endings. He coughs, chest heaving as the vampire’s magic pours down his lungs and fills his nostrils. It’s overwhelming, all-consuming, too much, choking out his defenses like the bludgeon of a typhoon against a single ember.

“Alejandro!”

He lifts his head at the sound of Elias’s voice, eyes swerving wildly. “Over here!”

The red swimming through his vision clears enough for him to pick out Elias’s face some ten feet away. He watches the agent’s mouth spasm, his face contorting beneath the strain of the magic, and wonders if this is what it feels like when humans drown, when the weight of the water above crushes until their ribs give out.

He coughs again. His head is still throbbing, heart pounding pounding pounding, and there’s no time. He stays down and zeroes in on where the vampire is preparing to launch another blast. She’s blonde, he realizes as more magic—not his own—prickles over his senses in warning. She’s blonde. Wearing all black, and huge sunglasses that obscure her face.

The field smells like rot and viscera, like a festering wound going rancid. Alejandro spits out a stream of his own blood, from where his pointed canines cut into his lip. The pain barely registers. His mouth burns sour, tasting of bile. No time.

[perceremade]

in your opinion, what sims 4 death would be the worst way to die and which one would be the best? old age doesn’t count but any types of death from the expansion packs do.

I do think getting hit by a meteor would be a really funny way to go out and Im pretty sure u can get stuff out of the rock thingy so Like It can benefit the family 💕 but best way to die in terms of pain? I Have no idea.. I personally Hate the idea of drowning Since I have almost drowned before so for personal reasons If I was a sim I wouldnt want to drown. But, rabid rodent fever (Never actually seen this one myself cuz I dont own my first pet stuff LMFAO), murphy bed and flies killing you seem like the most EMBARRASSING deaths.. Tho the piranha pond and cowplant are scary and both classics (imo).... Best would probably be a less slightly more painless one preferably since I cant say old age and just laying on the floor and passing away seems the nicest

[masterwords]

Hotch & Morgan Stories

One Shots

It Means Something (2.1k - Post Omnivore angst, sexual overtones)

Endlessly (3.5k - Hotch & Morgan running buddies -> panic attack)

100 (602 - Blurb detailing the moment Morgan pulls Hotch off of Foyet.)

Spilling Over (3.3k - Valentines Day, a little post-divorce angst)

Redesign My Mind  (4k - Post-Foyet, angst/blood)

Digging Up Bones (3.2k - "Natural Born Killer" aftermath)

Go Easy (2.2k - whump, sick)

Some Kind of Shelter (7.6k - soft, angst, sick)

The Button Incident (615 - fluffy Hotch wears Morgan's shirt)

The Sum of Us (3.8k - Post-Mayhem goofy & cute car ride home)

Catch Your Breath (2k - soft angst)

Pull Out Some Hope For Me (3.4k - whump, hurt/comfort)

Gargle with Peroxide (4.4k - sick/soft)

8x01 mini-fic (1.3k - just some madness set after 8x01)

Try a Little Tenderness (5.1k - angst *about Gideon's death*)

Lucky Day (852 - minor hurt, all fluff)

A Fool for Lesser Things (2.1k - fluff and angst)

Best of Intentions (2.2k - angst, hurt/comfort)

Where Tomorrow Ends (2k - soft, hurt/comfort)

When The Team Find Out (A Short Series) - JJ, Rossi, Prentiss, Garcia, Spencer

Less Drowning More Land (2.7k - Hotch gets friends FLUFF)

So Much For Gravity (3.6k - sick/allergies/soft)

Hazard Pay 

This Time It’s Forever

Fall On Me

The Places I Can’t Reach

Gorgeous Strawberry Kiss

Stomach Flu (Untitled mini fic)

Where Rhythm Is Life

Mean Old World

As Flies to Wanton Boys

Home by Horror Haunted

Untitled (About Morgan leaving the BAU)

Grinding Halt (Revelations aftermath)

FBI Charity Auction

Things I Might Regret

A Certain Moral Flexibility (CIA AU)

dust on the lips of a vision of hell

The One Where Morgan Gets Hurt (ask)

To Stay Surrounded

Lonely Two Leg Creatures

Cool My Insides

Shades of Shame

Tired Spaces

The Cold Astounds Me

Stay Awhile

Surge of Twilight

More Than I Hoped For (fluffy post-Mayhem aftercare w/Garcia)

Please Stop Loving Me

Candy Spun From Head To Heart (AU w/a daughter)

Step On the Spark (1.8k - Roy's dementia, angst)

Happy Birthday, Jack! (600 words - fluff)

You Know What It Is (4.1k - cheating/explicit)

Punch Drunk (4.1k - Roy's dementia, broken nose, hurt/comfort)

In the Past He's Slow and Sinking (4.5k - angst, Morgan takes the NYC job)

Just the Two of Us (1.1k - fluff/Halloween)

Once My Flame and Twice My Burn (2.8k - 02x19 Ashes & Dust aftermath)

Hail Mary (5.8k - angst/whump Hotch is self-destructive, Morgan is fed up)

It's Never Perfect (3.5k - NSFW/angst - Haley serves Hotch w/divorce papers and Morgan makes him feel better)

Gonna Take Your Hand (3k - Hotch is sick. He and Derek spend a night in the ER.)

A Little Sick (963w- Hotch and Em are sick and grumpy.)

Under Wraps (2.1k- In the hospital after Foyet, Emily and Derek take care of Hotch in very different ways.)

Empty Lot (881w- Derek & Hotch take late night walks during Hotch’s hospital stay.)

Overlap (1.6k- A little thing set amid the tension over Strauss’ drinking on the job in 07x09 - Self-Fulfilling Prophecy.)

Multi-Chapter

To Counteract Distance (14.5k - whump in the woods)

Worry Is Wasteful (7.4k - food allergies/Morgan's family fluff)

Was Never There (6.9k - Mr. Scratch aftermath/whump)

Hell Doesn’t Love Them (10.2k - suicidal thoughts/brothers Hotch/whump)

Blaze Like Meteors (11.6k - undercover friends to lovers)

See Into the Dark (6k - Mr. Scratch aftermath/whump)

The Louder the Better (7.5k - early days/pre-show)

Like Falling Sand (A slow burn semi-AU love story starring Hotch & Morgan starting at Mayhem.)

Hotter Than That (Hotch, Morgan and Reid undercover/Hotchgan)

Silver Lining (7.8k - Breaking up is hard. Angst w/happy ending. Hotchgan.)

[of-krypton]

Character Name: Kal El Alias: Clark Kent // Superman Age: 41 Face Claim: Brandon Routh Species: Alien - Kryptonian Home Earth: Earth-49

History:

Kal doesn't remember much from his time before the Kents found him. His journey to Earth was a blur of nothingness, interspersed with vague memories of the lessons his father recorded in the ship's memory. As far as he's concerned, his history began when he crash landed outside Smallville, Kansas. Being brought up by the Kents was one of the best things that happened to him, on the farm he learned the value of hard work, the strength of family and stong sense of right and wrong. Of course it wasn’t always easy for them, especially when he first began to develop his powers. Learning to tone down his speed and strength when at school -especially whilst playing sports- was one of the hardest things for young Clark. Knowing he was so much more robust than everyone around him weighed heavily on his mind and the fact that despite all his powers he hadn’t been able to save his father, Jonathan, was what sparked him to become Superman.

Kal spent a decade building the Fortress of Solitude and studying there to become the hero he was destined to be. Learning about his home world and the abilities he had been given thanks to his alien metabolism interacting with Earth’s yellow sun. When he was ready to return to civilisation, Kal headed to Metropolis, back in his Clark Kent persona and found employment as a reporter for the Daily Planet. There he meets and befriends Jimmy Olsen and Lois Lane. He falls for Lois almost immediately, but unfortunately as Clark, he doesn’t gain her attention in that way at all. Superman, however, has much better luck, and Lois is smitten by him after he rescues her from a falling helicopter. Kal allows her to interview him in his hero guise and even takes her out for a romantic flight. Lois is the first to call him Superman, and the name sticks.

Kal didn’t only meet friends in Metropolis, Lex Luthor also crossed his path there. The “criminal mastermind” saw Superman as a threat to his masterplan (hijacking two missiles and blowing the San Andreas fault to destroy the west coast) and as such lured him into a trap. After obsessive research, he located a meteor from Kal’s home planet and mined the Kryptonite ore contained within it. Luring Superman to his lair with a phony threat to gas the population of Metropolis, he traps Kal with the kryptonite and throws him into his pool to drown. Eve Teschmacher, Luthor’s assistant, helps Kal escape asking him to stop the decoy missile first to save her mother, who happens to live in Hackensack. Once free Superman diverts the decoy as promised then flies into the earth to fix the break in the fault that the second missile made. Though this stops the major disaster of the west coast sliding into the sea, there are still terrible aftershocks. One causes a breach in the Hoover Dam, and while Kal is busy with this Lois is caught up in another quake, trapped in her car she is pulled into a crevasse and crushed. Overwhelmed by grief and anger, Kal travels back in time by flying faster than the speed of light, reversing it to prevent the dam breach and fixes the fault line to stop the crevasse from reaching Lois’ car. He stops the reversal at the point the earthquake began and flies back to find Lois, who is alive and well. Once certain she is okay, he disappears to capture Luthor and his henchman Otis, delivering them to prison.

A few months pass and Kal settles into his roles as both Superman and mild mannered reporter, Clark Kent. Saving those in need and getting on with every day life in Metropolis. Until he finds out that Lois is on assignment in Paris, where terrorists have taken control of the Eiffel Tower and have threatened to level the city with a hydrogen bomb. Superman flies in to save the day, launching the bomb into space where it detonates. Unfortunately the shockwaves release Zod, Ursa and Non from the Phantom Zone and the three Kryptonian criminals head for the closest planet; Earth. Meanwhile, Lex Luthor escapes prison with the help of Ms Teschmacher and using his alpha wave tracking device, they go north to find Superman’s base. When they arrive Luthor activates the Fortress’ control panel and learns about the three Kryptonian villains who have escaped. He decides to collaborate with them to defeat Superman and take over the world. Clark and Lois are sent to Niagara Falls for a story and while there Lois suspects that he might be Superman. She jumps into the Niagara river, to prove her theory, but Kal remains in his Clark guise (even though he uses his heat vision to cut off a tree branch so Lois can hold onto it). This convinces Lois that he isn’t Superman, but just hours later his secret is revealed when he retrieves his glasses from an open fire barehanded without being burned. after some hesitation, he finally tells the truth and takes Lois to the Fortress. He decides to give up being Superman so he can live a normal life with Lois, despite his Father’s disapproval. A chamber containing the power of the Kryptonian red sun removes his powers, destroying the control panel in the process. He and Lois then sleep together.

Zod, Ursa and Non attack a NASA-Soviet moon mission and head down to Earth where they cause the destruction of East Houston. When the military become involved, they quickly overpower them and demand their surrender. The General refuses, saying his commander is the President, Zod then decides to make the President kneel before him and heads to Washington. Clark and Lois see Zod’s demand on tv on their way back from the Fortress, and the President’s call to Superman for help. Kal realizes that life with Lois can never be, and decides to erase Lois’s memories of all events surrounding Zod’s arrival, including her knowledge that Clark Kent is Superman.

When Astronomers claim to have found evidence of Krypton, Kal builds a new ship and embarks on a quest to find his home world. Once he arrives, all he finds is a desolate, partially destroyed planet, which begins to make him sick. Distraught by what he has seen and felt, he returns to Earth, crash landing back at the Kent farm -his true home. Five years had passed on his adopted planet during his voyage, his mother had almost given up hope of seeing him again, but assured him that though he was the last of his kind. He would never be alone. Deciding to reconnect with his life on Earth, Kal travels back to Metropolis and his old life as Clark Kent, Reporter at the Daily Planet. Life had moved on without him, Lois had a son and had won her Pulitzer, for her article “Why the World doesn’t need Superman”. He attempts to change her mind by granting her an exclusive interview and allowing her insight into what it is to be Superman - hearing the Earth crying out for a savior hour after hour.

Lex Luthor is also free from jail, having been released early, Superman was called as a witness for the release trial, but of course had not been able to attend, so Luthor walked free. The criminal was still obsessed with Superman, and conned a rich woman out of her fortune by marrying her, using the money to fund his second expedition to the Arctic, and the Fortress. Learning all he can about the crystals used to build the Fortress, he steals them from the console and schemes to create an island off the coast of America - once again meaning to use land as a commodity to hold the world to ransom. Lois investigates the power outage caused by Lex’s first experiment, which leads her to Lex’s yacht. She is trapped aboard with Jason (her son) , but manages to fax a sos to the Planet.

Kal (as Superman) flies out to the coordinates she gave, meaning to rescue her, but the aftershocks from the Island’s creation cause havoc in Metropolis and he has to deal with the disasters there before he can get to her. He saves Lois, Richard (Perry’s nephew) and Jason from Lex’s sinking yacht and sends them off in the seaplane Richard used to fly out there. Heading to the island, he walks right into Luthor’s trap, realising too late that the island contains pieces of Kryptonite. Luthor gloats over him in his weakened state, kicking Superman to the floor and allowing his gang to almost beat him to death. While he was trying to pick himself up off the ground, Luthor delivers the final blow, and stabs him in the back with a shard of Kryptonite. Kal defiantly manages to stand, despite the incredible pain, but falls off the island’s edge and into the ocean.

Lois saves his life by pulling him from the ocean and removing the shard of Kryptonite from his back. Though she asks him to fly back to the city with Jason, Richard and herself, Kal knows he has to deal with Lex and his Kryptonite island. He manages to fly the island into space and pushes it out of Earth’s orbit before succumbing to the effects of Kryptonite and his wounds. Falling to Earth, he is unresponsive and the world waits outside the hospital for any sign that Superman is alive. While he is unconscious, Lois visits and explains that Jason is his son. The next evening, Kal wakes and visits Jason and Lois, letting them know he will always be there for them.

A few years later Clark and Lois are married, Kal sharing his secret with her again. Together they bring up Jason who shows more and more superpowers as he grows, just as Kal had.

Positive Traits: Compassionate, Heroic, Benevolent Negative Traits: Odd, Melancholy,

[kitstenk]

Night Fires

It was a particularly bad night out. The chilly air could attack any unsuspecting object, rattling them to their bones and sending them booking it home. Firey didn't really mind, though; he rarely got cold. It was just one of the perks of being a flame like himself.

  Another perk was that he could burn. He could destroy anything, so long as it was flammable and not made of metal. Firey found this ability useful when he needed stress relief. He'd often go outside, almost always at night, and burn whatever he wanted, whether it be a single leaf or an entire tree. It could be his own bias, but the dancing, crackling flames had always attracted him.

  There was just something beautiful in the wake of destruction. Seeing life shrivel up and turn dark under the light of a rising fire somehow put Firey at ease. Some things didn't turn black, but rather turned to ash. Blazes of fire, licking up at whatever organic materials it was fed, and burning, and existing. Paper was one of Firey's favorites. The fire nipped at its edges, making its course while the paper turned black and peeled at the battlefront. Most of it burned away into nothing. The ash and shining embers were all that was left.

  Most people were unsettled when Firey described this. He had jokingly earned the title of a pyromaniac, but it was true. He loved fire. It lit up the sky and made burning rain, like miniature meteor showers. It cast warm orange glows and captured the light in everyone's eyes. It roared and boasted all sorts of whites and reds and yellows and oranges. All of life's problems burned away with the fire.

  Tonight was one of those nights. Alone, Firey had gone out to collect whatever stray kindling he could find. Sticks, twigs, and leaves were the most common. He'd gather useless papers and if he was lucky, entire branches. Branches made for nice, long fires. Pin liked to grow smelly herbs. He'd sometimes take those, too.

  Dragging a particularly large branch, Firey lugged the wood onto his constructed fire pit, surrounded by rocks and pebbles to keep the fire from growing out of control. Sticks and leaves covered the burnt earth. Firey sniffed his stolen herbs before spreading it around the pit.

  Rosemary.

  He tossed more sticks into the mess, and chucked in a log he found at the edge of the forest. His hands were red and aching, and the skin peeled, but Firey shook off the pain. It didn't matter.

  One step at a time, Firey climbed his branch, and sat at the top. Fire spread out from him, like the ripple of a lake, and the crackle of a burning fire drowned out the insects of the night. The blaze crept down the branch, setting fire to the log, and then to the fire's base. Firey watched it all with wide eyes, as the flames rose higher and the embers floated away on the wind. Smoke formed a ceiling above him, and Firey laid down. The fire was stable.

  In the middle of it all, Firey cleared his mind of everything but the pop and crackle of flames. His stress and problems all burned away, and nothing but ash remained. Acrid smoke, smelling of fresh barbecue and a smothering warmth, carried a hint of the cleansing, woodsy rosemary. Firey's eyes drooped. 

  "Hey."

  With a start, Firey lurched up. His face twisted.

  "Hey."

  Leafy sat before the inferno, fists closed in her lap. She glowed orange in the light.

  "Decided to burn it all, huh? Become an edgy loner, making barriers of fire?" she spat.

  "Hmph." Firey glanced away. "I thought that was your thing. What are you doing here, anyway? Doesn't fire kill you?"

  "Wow, something you actually bothered to remember." Leafy rolled her eyes. "You woke me up. Does my presence discomfort you, hm? Is your stupid little reputation suffering? I doubt it can go any lower than it is right now," she snarked.

  Firey made a dramatic turn towards Leafy. "Actually, yes, I don't like that you're here. I was planning to have a stress-free night, and I would appreciate it if you left."

  Leafy's gaze flickered to the fire. "...you call that a stress-reliever?"

  "Just another thing you don't understand," Firey shrugged. Leafy glowered, but her gaze softened under some unknown revelation. She stared deep into the burning wood. 

  "I'll prove you wrong..." she muttered. Leafy grabbed a stick untouched by the flames and tossed it in. She laid down on her stomach, arms folded one on top of the other, and watched it burn. Firey huffed and closed his eyes once again.

  Another stick was tossed into the fire.

[achtung-attitude]

CHAPTER 40: Smooth Criminal - Part 2

Over the thumping sound ringing in her ears, T’onga hears liquid splashing on the ground. She glances down with blurry eyes and sees a pool of blood forming around her feet. Standing out in the red puddle are two human teeth. Her teeth, she realizes, being the lower right 1st and 2nd molars.

Her thoughts are foggy and slow. It takes her another moment to realize the blood on the ground is also her own, pouring from her mouth and head. She takes a step forward, then another, then trips and falls unaided onto her side. On the ground, she realizes she can’t breathe and gasps sharply. Her fingers claw at the air around her broken ribs.

She fights to hold back the cloud of concussion that threatens to overtake her mind. She has to stay awake. She has to get moving. From the other side of the world, someone says to her, “Now you know what it’s like.”

Knowles glares down at her. Her eyes gleam with disdain. She stands with her feet far apart, keeping her balance on her roller skates. “Now you know what it’s like,” she repeats. When T’onga sucks wind in reply, she spins, and the engines on her skates drive her toe to strike T’onga’s chin, sending her to crash into the opposite wall.

“Now you know how it feels to be trapped,” Knowles goes on, stomping on her enemy’s belly, further abusing her broken ribs. She spits blood onto the roller skate.

“How it feels to be helpless.” She picks her enemy up by the neckline of her jumpsuit. Her bedazzled glove plants a roaring engine in the center of T’onga’s chest, which crashes her back into the wall. The force of the propulsion holds her there, scraping her back against the hard stone wall. A raspy moan escapes from the Korean woman’s throat, but it is drowned out by the roar of the engine.

“How it feels to know that, no matter you do, there’s no way to escape the death comin’ for you.” Knowles releases the engine from T’onga’s jumpsuit and allows her to drop. Before she can hit the ground, Knowles grabs and holds her up by her dark hair.

“That’s how you made so many people feel, when you murdered them with your Stand. That’s how you made Phantasma feel, it’s how you made anyone who crossed your piece a’ shit boss feel.” The dreadlocked woman leans in close and hisses in T’onga’s ear.

“You’ve always disgusted me. You’re a slimy bitch, lyin’ back and doing whatever that man told you to. For what? Money? Influence? Or is it just easier for you to be a pet, since you never imagined being anything else?!” She flings her victim away in disgust, wiping her gloved hand on her shirt.

“What… about, you…?” T’onga says, remembering at last how to speak.

It does her little good, as she receives another kick in the gut. This time, the kick knocks something loose from her jacket’s inside pocket: her shiny gold locket, swinging by a thin chain. Through her agony, she reaches for it, but Knowles snatches it away. Gasping, T’onga reaches for it, trying to grab it from her attacker’s hand, but collapses onto her side.

“Hmph…” Knowles grunts, wiping away the blood from her damaged nose, “I ain’t nothing like you. All you ever fought for was greed, but I’m different! You hear me?! Dust thinks he’s using me, but I’m the one using him! I’m only helping him to reach his Paradise so that I can strike him down once he reaches it!

“When that day comes, I’ll put right all the wrongs his kind have done to mine! True women will stand at the top of the pyramid, while men will sit at the bottom, where they belong! And directly beneath them will be their simpering traitor bitches, like you!”

Knowles spreads her arms out in a display of ultimate triumph. “Dust thinks he can control me, but NO-ONE controls me!! He made the mistake of giving me ultimate power! SMOOTH CRIMINAL is the power to give that which has none! To animate the inanimate, to drive them forward and run down anything that would stand in their way! The power to liberate all who suffer under oppression, and lead all of them to a better future! This is my destiny! The destiny of SMOOTH CRIMINAL!!”

In the shade of the alley way, Knowles holds her head up high, as if expecting a ray of divine light to cast down upon her.

“Give… it back…” T’onga says, spitting a glob of bloody saliva.

Seeming to shake from a daze, Knowles says “Huh? What you say?”

“Don’t… fuck around with me…” the older woman says, her words strained through sheer agony. “Destiny… Power… What a load… Give me back my locket…”

“... You mean this?” Knowles smirks. She begins spinning the locket by its chain around her finger. “You want it so bad, come get it.”

“Give it… back…” T’onga grunts, lifting herself onto trembling feet, her skull a weight she can barely hold up. Drying blood spills over her forehead and down her face, forming a ghoulish red mask around her bloodshot eyes. “You dumb hypocrite… So you have a little cause to fight for? Convictions… Whether you… kill for profit, or destiny, or nothing, the result is the same… Corpses. A pile. Of. Corpses…. Give me back my locket…! YOU’RE NO DIFFERENT FROM ME AT ALL!!”

Something catches in Knowles’ chest at the sight of this nearly broken woman. She buries the feeling however, and keeps her confident sneer. “You don’t know what you’re talkin’ about. You’re nothing with a crawling, half-dead bug bitch. When I’m at the top of this world, you won’t even be worth remembering.”

T’onga chuckles through clenched teeth. “... All that... just to hurt Daddy, huh?”

Knowles’ smugness evaporates into blind rage. Veins pulsate in her forehead and fill her eyes with red.

“YOU FUCKING CUNT!!!!” she shrieks, activating the engines in her heels and bursting towards her victim with her fist raised.

Despite having a concussion, broken ribs and damaged arms, T’onga still reacts with frightening speed. She dodges Knowles’ punch, then grabs her arm and pulls, redirecting her face into the alley wall.

“AGHH!” the dreadlocked woman cries as her nose fractures yet again, whilst T’onga starts kicking her in the back, driving her stiletto heel into her spine.

Gritting her teeth, Knowles reaches back and slaps T’onga’s ankle with her gloved hand. An engine materializes and roars, pulling T’onga into the air, spinning out of control like a human pinwheel. SMOOTH CRIMINAL’s user sneers, watching for the moment when her enemy’s head would be dashed against the hard stone walls.

But T’onga curls into a ball mid-air and grips her ankle, taking control of her own momentum. She stops herself from spinning, then directs the engine to descend. By the time Knowles understands what she did, she is already descending upon her like a meteor.

“SMOOTH CRI--!!” she yells, but too late. Before she can cancel the engine’s power, T’onga’s leg collides with her ribcage. She hears her ribs crack as she flies, spinning out of the alley way.

The engine of T’onga’s ankle disappears, but her momentum still sends her rolling into a pile of trash. Forcing herself up, she inspects her ankle and notes grimly that it is dislocated. She breathes heavily and sets her foot steadily on the ground, gripping the damaged ankle with both hands.

With a firm push, she sets the ankle back in place. “AAARRGH!!” she yells, then stands after another second, panting. On the ground, she notices her locket, and she limps to collect it. She brushes the gold with her thumb, but does not look inside. She quickly secretes it back inside her jacket, then limps over to Knowles.

“We done now?… you fucking zealot bitch…?”she says, breathlessly.

Face down on the ground, Knowles hoarsely replies, “SMOOTH CRIMINAL…”

SMOOTH CRIMINAL reappears on her hands, and she sweeps the ground beneath before laying her palms flat in front of her. Chunks of pavement shoot up from the ground, Knowles still holding on to them, propelling her and a cloud of shrapnel into the air to pounce on T’onga.

Mid-air, she waves her hands, touching the smaller stones. Tiny engines form on them, and T'onga immediately figures their intent. She dives out of the way as the stones come raining down as a hail of bullets. They perforate the ground where she was standing as she dives out of the way.

Knowles activates her roller blades as she descends, forcing T'onga to bend backwards to avoid the high velocity kick. The Korean woman quickly jumps back to her feet, wincing as she lands on her bad ankle.

“I can’t do this…” T’onga thinks desperately, “This isn’t working… I won’t be able to stand on this foot for much longer… My head is killing me… She has the advantage in an open space… I’m done for unless I find somewhere better to fight… What do I do…?” T’onga looks around, and beyond the alleyway sees the windows of an office building. “Ah…” she thinks.

[rueitae]

Hmmm.... how about a Horror AU?

I can count the number of horror movies/things I’ve seen on one hand. So I’ll try and make this as spooky as I can. 

1. The Paladins are stuck in another dimension (not reality) by Bob’s evil twin. Testing the heroes, but viciously and really doesn’t care if they die. 

2. It’s made to look like a tropical island only things change horribly. The picturesque waterfall turns to blood. Dark clouds rain acid or chunks of meteor. illusions of every awful variety can show up at any time or place. 

3. Paladins get almost no sleep which makes things worse. 

4. They start dropping off like flies. Whoever the POV is ends up being the last one. The others disappear through quicksand, drowning, impalement, getting shot by a caricature of a hunter, etc. 

5. Resolution is that the POV character must subvert the evil entity’s expectations. Rather than fighting for survival, they purposefully subject themselves to whatever horrors they can think of. And eventually realize that like Bob’s evil twin, this dimension they too can control with their thoughts, so they subject the evil twin to the most disturbing of things before imagining their friends all back and safe! This gets them put back into their Lions.

6. Bob might give them a thank you fruit basket for saving the universe again. (he has no love for his twin) 

(Thank you!)

[emmaekay]

Galaktikon II - Post Lyric Release Analysis

Hello friends! If you follow this blog for Dragon Ball content, avert your eyes from what is about to be a full critique, breakdown, and analysis of my favorite metal album of the last 5 years. 

Released on August 26, 2017, Galaktikon II is the 2nd studio album of Galaktikon, combo metal outlet of Brendon Small, Gene Hoglan, and Bryan Beller. I say “combo metal” because what the fuck even is this, other than holy?

 At times, melodic death, at times speed metal, at times operatic metal - it’s everything good about all those subgenres and none of the trite or campy elements. This weekend, to celebrate the year’s anniversary of the release, the official lyrics were released to the album - that’s a big deal for a lot of reasons.

See, Galaktikon II is special in another way, too. It’s the unofficial end to the Metalocalypse story. Criminally cancelled before the story could draw to its planned close, fans everywhere have protested, petitioned, spammed, come just this side of rioting... and a certain exec at Adult Swim just can’t be arsed. Small has said in this-side-of-legal ways that Galaktikton II is the true end to Metalocalypse. 

But when I listen to it, I hear something else, too. I hear the story of someone who spent 10 years building a world, only to have it burned down by someone else. I hear a love letter to the fans, but also a plea to let the end be the end. To accept that that world is over. From The Ocean Galaktik to Rebuilding a Planet, this is Small’s story, of trying to find the right combination of factors that would force that network to allow him to finish his tale, to his own acceptance of the fact that that will never happen. He has been clear about that in interviews - it’s over, and he’s ready to move on to the next project - the next world - he’s ready to rebuild. In this album, I hear an ask - will you, my friends and fans, come with me to the next? 

So, here it is - everything I heard and everything I think about each track on Galaktikon II. SIDENOTE - this review is in the VINYL track order, which is also the “story” listening order. The CD/digital track order will not be followed here, and I really recommend listening to it in the vinyl order only.

1. Some Days Are For Dying

This track picks up right after the end of The Doomstar Requiem. The “Doomstar” is not the same thing as the Dethlights, which is the power that the band gains control of when they get Toki back. There is a huge asteroid or meteor heading for the earth. It’s freaking people out, destroying satellites, causing chaos. It’s being predicted that it will hit the Earth and destroy the planet.

Triton is nearby, but doesn’t appear to want to get involved. 

Fuck this, never was my occupation. 

He sings, correctly, since he’s not a planet savior but a bounty hunter. 

On the Earth, various forces are mobilizing, militarizing, magnetizing. Nathan is still drawn back to the Whale goddess in the sea: The voice in my heart still speaks to me / It beckons me back to the deep. Nathan seems to want her help, for the first time - he doesn’t want the planet to be destroyed and actively wants to seek out that “Right Song” that has been eluded to since season 4. Any gift in this haze that the gods bestow / remove the blindfold, enlighten my soul / Would aide in the poetry I’m to sing.

The Church of the Black Klok is predicting the end of the world. We forsee blackness. We forsee doom. 

Both the soldiers in the Falconback project AND the Gears are assembling for a serious battle. Fall in - Fall in - Fall in. (This cadence is echoed in Could This Be the End when Nathan asks the band “Alright?”) Prepare your captains. Prepare your flag. Prepare the battlements. Prepare the bloodied ram.

The song ends with a threat. 

I will make you twist and burn. (Nathan)

I have waited, clock must turn. (Halfman)

Who is threatening who? I take it as both the Halfman and Nathan threatening each other, noted above, but it’s the Halfman who gets his say in the next song.

2. Nightmare

Full disclosure, this is my favorite track on the album. Man, this manages to be powerful and sinister even as it touches on a poignant key of sadness. 

This song is a soliloquy by the Halfman. He was cursed with this demonic affliction, but says he isn’t the devil - Mephistopheles isn’t me - he sings, though people have made him into the devil. He explains how he died, then came back from the grave... half alive. Half of what he used to be. Based on later tracks, one can infer that Vater Orlaag is who brought him back to life and imbued him with the powers and overall creepiness he displays.

He doesn’t want to let go of the half life he has, but the impending star will change that life into something entirely different. Even while expressing feelings that he was misunderstood and even of fear, he still stands out as a villain. He seems to vascillate in the context of the song between fearsome and fearful. He has, after all, lived this way - waiting to see what would happen - for a very long time. 

This cold heart keeps on beating

I’m the darkness you’re feeling. 

The delivery of that lyric, at the same time powerful and ominous even as it hints at uncertainty. The song ends with the Halfman’s trademark “we’ll see” sort of sentiment. 

I still wait

Time will tell

Falcon flies

Magnetize 

3. The Ocean Galaktik

This song, I think, is where Small really gets the most personal on the album. This is the story of both Nathan’s return to the deep to find the music - the right song - and of Brendon’s own quest to release the end of this story, to come to terms with the falling out on the network, and to find the right way to release this music, these songs, and to end this story. 

Some hearts will grow cold (The network)

Some of them outshine them all (the fans and the band)

Show love through it all (Small himself)

Breathe through my soul (Release the story the only way he can - through the music.) Leave this all behind, and look within (stop trying to get the 5th season)

Though we must all die, we don’t all live (Everything has an end, not everyone gets to do 4 seasons + a rock opera on tv, so he’s grateful for what he DID do)

and of course, the obvious: “Could this be what I need to set me free?” Small is asking himself, could this denial from the network, and also this album, be what sets him free from doing the same thing over and over - allowing him to invent and explore?

“I’m ready to serve my planet now.” I also hear the word “storm” laid over “serve” in this lyric. Officially, it’s serve, but Small is a tricksy little minx, so I’m not ruling out storm. In fact, the dual lyric makes the most sense - Brendon is ready to storm the planet with his next project. The “storm” thing comes into play later in the album, too. But also, Nathan, storywise, is ready to serve the planet because after meeting with the Beast Queen (who I think is Abigail but might just be that cool ass whale, who I’ve taken to referring to as the Whale Goddess) he has THE Song. 

4. The Agenda

This is, simply, Vater Orlaag and the Halfman programming a poisoned Murderface to do some fucked up shit. 

Oh - be anything I want to be?

Oh - is this just a dream?

Oh - give away so willfully

Oh - please carry me away. 

These lines are Murderface himself, seeing the immortality and adoration offered by the two villains. Already poisoned, Murderface falls for it. 

“Just lock the door, and trap accused. Just flip the switch & light the fuse.”

5. My Name is Murder

Well, yeah, it is. This song describes Murderface luring the rest of the band into a trap where they nearly die. The idea is that when the rest of the band dies, the Dethlights will all flow into him, which I can only assume Orlaag and the Halfman intend to take from him at that point. Murderface runs away after lighting Mordhaus on fire, the Gears chase his ass down though. He thinks about taking his own life. He chooses not to - I interpret this as Murderface himself breaking the possession/poison a bit. The Gears appear to catch him. 

6. Exitus

Oh man, if this song doesn’t give you chills, check your fucking pulse. 

The rest of the band tries to think of how to cure Murderface. The reason that “there’s gotta be a relationship between the water and” the Halfman based on the fact that water has been protective and healing for the band in the past, and appears to have driven the Halfman out of “the man in green” which I think is General Krozier. 

The Gears & the Band take Murderface to the cove from the end of Season 4 and literally fucking drown him. Brutal. 

I have always thought this next verse was from the perspective of Ofdensen:

Come back to me.

Blink if you hear me. 

You gotta fight to breathe.

Hold my hand - look in my eyes. The klok within your chest gives back your life. 

Too soft for Nathan. Anyway, Murderface is cured and comes back to life. Holy shit this bit kills. 

You live, you live in your body

You live, you live in your soul

You live, you live in your heart

And we live, we live with you. 

And now we stand here believers - a pentagram of black faith. 

So Murderface is back with the boys and the Dethlights are powering up again. Next stop? FUCKIN SPAAAAAAACE BOYYYYY

7. Icarus Six Sixty Six

The boys literally go to space? Based on the video for Nightmare, where the whale goddess meets up with Triton, I’m guessing that Triton shows up and is the “UFO” referred to in the lyrics. He helps the boys rig a fucking planet wide sound system like the one in the Dethkones Israel/Palestine episode but EVEN BIGGER. (This is also the current cover photo on the Metalocalypse Facebook as an additional clue.)

Louder than the world believes

Defying physics all perceive! Shit goes tits up and they end up having to eject from a crash landing on their way back to Earth. 

Not now! Eject? Not now! Eject? Not now! Eject? BUT NOWWWWW. 

Thanks for helping the boys save the planet, Triton. 

8. Become the Storm

Nathan literally uses a planet wide PA system to notify the whole population that the Earth is about to get fucked up royally by the Doomstar - a possessed star with a demon inside it that’s going to take up residence in the Halfman’s body and really, really wreck up the Earth 

Nathan inspires people all over the world, civilians and fans and Gears, to unite and “become the storm” that will wipe this evil out. 

From the land to the sea

There’s no them - only we! 

That might be the warmest thing said on this entire album, not leastwise because I’m starving for some kind of unity in humanity lately. No division here - it’s the people of the planet vs. Orlaag & the Halfman. 

Also there are robots on Orlaag & the Halfman’s side. That’s the Falconback project. Robots that will serve them and the demon - literally soulless people who have been mechanically augmented. Bwomp. And also there appears to be some kind of big machine at work - also hinted at in Some Days Are For Dying and later in the album in Could This Be The End?

“We march forth to his throne

We will die for our home.”  The Army of humanity heads for the Halfman. Look out, motherfucker!

9. To Kill a God

Well, the title says it. They’re heading out to kill a god - or really, prevent the birth of a new one. Orlaag and the Halfman are holed up in a snow covered mountain range. The band sends the main wave of soldiers to “dismantle their magnetized machines.”  The sky will part to let the demon soul descend. 

Yep. The star is a demon. And it’s coming to chill inside the Halfman’s body. The rest of the song is a battle between the robotic Falconback soldiers and the Storm. Nathan urges them to fight on - “Don’t leave the gods alive.”

10. Could This Be The End?

This song is a fucking rollercoaster. Okay:

The Storm is fighting outside and the band is waiting in place. They turn the Falconback magnetized weapon against the star, trying to destroy it or override the machinery. It, of course, goes tits up. The band decides to use the Dethlights against the Doomstar, even though it will probably kill them.  They form a “pentagram of power” and basically go toe to toe with this fucking demon asshole. They’re willing to die. The machinery is overloading. The star gets nearer and nearer to anchoring in the Halfman.  Oh oh, leave their souls. We were always meant to go. 

Let it be one last strike with our sword

Save them

Call the lights

We must die

But we lived our lives

They choose to save the Storm soldiers and all of the planet, opening themselves up completely to the destructive power of the Dethlights. 

The Falconback machine explodes.

The demon tries it. 

Doesn’t win. Dethlights fuck it up totally. 

Because of their bond, their commitment, their pure brutality - the Dethlights are strong enough to repel the demon WITHOUT killing them. 

Nathan compels everyone to hold on - “We know that we must die,” he says, “But for now we live! ”

Alright

Alright

Alright

Alright, we live!

He asks each of them and by context gets an affirmative answer. 

The song closes with the question - Could this be the end? 

11. Rebuilding a Planet

This is totally instrumental, so you know, imagine whatever scenario you want. Do they return to playing music? Do they rule the world? Do Nate and Abigail have the most metal wedding ever? Do Toki and Skwisgaar still pretend to hate each other? Whatever you want “rebuilding” to mean, it can and it does. This, maybe even moreso than The Ocean Galaktik, is truly a love letter to the listener. A gift. An absolute salve on the burn we’d all felt for so many years of unresolved plot line. A promise, that Small isn’t done and Galaktikon will be rebuilt with new stories and new potential. Overall the tone is hopeful, peaceful, soothing - a satisfying goodbye to five goofballs Small loved, and that we all loved, too. 

[poweroverflowing]

Draco Meteor

Hic Sunt Dracones - or, in layman’s terms: Here Be Dragons. But where the warning inscribed on the monument at the center of town typically indicates dangerous or unexplored territories, it would appear in this case to prove literal. The creature swoops into town, spewing foul breath and roaring defiance. The Knight steps forth ere weapons can be brought to bear, pleading for the townspeople not to hurt it. But will you listen, or stand your ground? Either way, whether you defeat it, drive it out, or something else entirely, you find yourself at the beginning of the story all over again… [Grants Any Weapon +1]

A hero always shows up at the last minute. It’s part of the job description. 

The rapid tapping of shoes alerts any passerby that there is someone sprinting through their town. With each passing second, the sound gets faster and faster--and to those surrounding the town square, louder and louder. The body they belong to approaches in great stride. It weaves through buildings and quaint streets, calculating and recalculating the shortest distance to the source of the commotion: a great dragon. If its sky-blotting appearance wasn’t enough to alert this mysterious fellow, then the razing breath and supersonic screech had definitely done it. On they run, gradually drawing near to their destination. Ashen eyes sharpen to focus on the image in front of them: a collection of city knights, all surrounding a single maiden in white. The unknown force scoffs at their appearance. They’re likely of the same ilk as the knight that told it not to hurt the overgrown lizard. Like that advice will ever be listened to.

The dragon flies low--dangerously low--and enters the range of that lone girl. What a sight to see! She’s about to be gobbled whole, her uniform the only leftover proof of her existence. But not on his watch. Through the well-gathered crowd, and over the knights he leaps. His sword draws in his flight, raised above his head as the momentum of his jump carries him forward. “Behold, beast!” he shouts, voice crying out to the heavens, “My ultimate dragon-slaying technique! Goddess Axe!” Did that name even make sense? It’s a sword he’s using... Anyways. In one big, cleaving motion, the rather plain-looking sword is brought down against the reptile’s neck. It strikes true and good, though is far from enough to kill it. 

The dragon will obviously have its reaction to being cut across its body, but let’s focus on the mighty hero for now. He laughs, “HA HA!” before dislodging his weapon and backing closer to the girl, “Worry not, mortal damsel! Oberon Dark, Bane of All Things Scaly, has come to thine aid! A hero always makes a dramatic entrance! ...Though I must say I was a little worried you’d be toast before I got here. No matter! With the blood of the universe coursing through my veins, my unstoppable gigapowers shall make short work of this wretched fiend! You need only stand back and spectate, little one, as I vanquish it with my next move: Hellfires of Valflame! FWOOSH!” 

But back to that dragon. It roars, rears up in anger, and lets loose another ear-piercing scream. The midpoint of the fighter’s speech is drowned out by this sound, but that doesn’t stop him from talking through it. After the fact, though, is when he comes to his senses... Somewhat. He gawks up at his foe as it spreads its wings and cranes its neck. From the looks of things, he would be the one to end up vanquished by hellfire. A small lump in his throat is swallowed, and he turns back to the lady. There’s a little plead of helplessness in his eyes--as if asking her to assist him with the problem he’s created.

@nagargent

[septimusheapheadcanons]

Benjamin ?

If you could take the shape of anything, what would you be?:I would be a meteor, burning across the night sky. Power and fire so strong I'm impossible to miss, no one on Earth daring to go near me.I would be sword in the hands of an ancient knight, gleaming silver against the sun. He would be a righteous man who only ever wanted to protect, but when it came down to it, I would cut through men in my path like they were nothing, creating paintings on the earth with their spilled crimson blood.If I could be anything, I would be mountain river, ever rushing, ever flowing. A thing of dangerous beauty, crystal and sharp, causing all who see me to stop and marvel for a minute at what mother nature can create.I would be a small, well-worn journal, owned by a desparate teenager at the turn of the century. Stories and secrets and cries for help would fill my every page. I wouldn't look like much, but she would come to me in her lowest moments, and I would give her what peace I could.I would be a tall, towering evergreen, rising higher than any other in the forest. Weathering storm and drought, unmoving when lightning strikes, unchanging green during the bitter cold. A true testament to resilience and strength.If I could be anything, I would be an old dance hall in the heart of the city. Warmth radiating from me, drawing in those looking for a moment of fun to remind them what it means to be alive.I would be a stone monument in front of a capital building. I would be a figure to inspire those who have been wronged to not sit down any longer, but instead march with the spirits of the thousands of their brethren who have spilled blood on those steps, just to lead the way.I would be a magnificent dragon in a cave atop a mountain. Leaving my treasure there, I would extend my great wings and fly over the people below, hearing the songs they sing warning of my hellfire ring in my ears as I maneuver the clouds.If I could be anything, I would be a tempest, raging in the middle of the sea. Despite the risk of wind so strong it could level a city in mere seconds or seas so angry they hunger at the thought of drowning lost souls, sailors can't help but want to get one last look at me as their ship flies away, for nothing is as beautiful as a force of nature.

[seeking-his-plan-blog]

Dinosaurs and the Bible.

Friday, March 23 - Day 35 of Lent.

I am not going to try and find the answer to this, but I will share my thoughts on it from my Bible-reading and research. One theory supporting dinosaurs in the Bible is that dinosaurs were created by God, became corrupt and then were wiped out in the flood. Another theory is that they even went onto the ark with Noah, but were wiped out afterwards.

The traditional depiction of dinosaurs as gigantic and ferocious lizards makes it hard to believe that God would have included them in the garden of Eden. Yet, before sin corrupted life, isn’t it possible that dinosaurs might have been peaceful?

Isaiah 11:6-7 shares this picture of heaven:

   “ The wolf also shall dwell with the lamb,      The leopard shall lie down with the young goat,      The calf and the young lion and the fatling together;      And a little child shall lead them.      The cow and the bear shall graze;      Their young ones shall lie down together;      And the lion shall eat straw like the ox. "

Perhaps animals were always made to be peaceful, but when the forbidden fruit was eaten and sin was introduced, so was death and corruption. After all, we have proof that serpents could walk and climb trees before the fall of mankind. So anything could have been possible.

Here is an interesting set of verses from the book of Job, which is deemed one of the oldest books in the bible. He describes a creature, the “behemoth” that fits the description of a dinosaur (brackets are added by me):

15 “Look now at the behemoth,which I made along with you; he eats grass like an ox. 16See now, his strength is in his hips, and his power is in his stomach muscles (big stomach). 17 He moves his tail like a cedar (big tail); the sinews of his thighs are tightly knit. 18 His bones are like beams of bronze, his ribs like bars of iron. 19He is the first of the ways of God (biggest thing that God has created, big as He is); only He who made him can bring near His sword (only God can come near him). 20Surely the mountains yield food for him, and all the beasts of the field play there. 21 He lies under the lotus trees, in a covert of reeds and marsh. 22The lotus trees cover him with their shade; the willows by the brook surround him. 23 Indeed the river may rage, yet he is not disturbed; he is confident, though the Jordan gushes into his mouth, 24 Though he takes it in his eyes, or one pierces his nose with a snare."

Some think that this description matches that of a hippo or an elephant. However, neither a hippo nor an elephant match the description of the tail moving like a cedar tree, as elephants’ and hippos’ tails are tiny! Furthermore, the phrase, “He is the first of the ways of God”, in the original Hebrew translates to “he is the BIGGEST animal that God created”. Although the elephant and hippo are large, they are not even one tenth of the size of a Brachiosaurus, the largest dinosaur ever to exist. Take the Brachiosaurus and try to apply it to the above description. It works! Furthermore, the phrase, “Only He who made him can bring near His sword” directly states that no mere human can approach this creature with a sword. Ask yourself, how easy is it to go near an elephant? Granted, it’s not the simplest thing, but don’t tell me that no human could possibly ever near one with a sword. A dinosaur makes more sense here.

There’s another similar description of a dinosaur-like creature in Job 41:1-2,7,12-32. This description is interesting because it references the Leviathan, a creature who is of the sea and breathes fire. The history books of many cultures refer to ‘fire-breathing dragons’ in their ancient tales. It’s a wonder why, across  many different cultures, it was always a dragon, and not like, a lion or something. That is because the fire-breathing dragons are likely based on truth. The Leviathan also has armour that makes iron look “like straw”, and arrows “cannot make it flee”. The descriptions indeed do not fit any earthly creature that we know of, and could reference dinosaurs that existed before the flood.

Remember, only after sin was death created! You cannot have death before sin, and sin only came in the Garden of Eden.

The common belief of how dinosaurs became extinct is that a large object from space (meteor or the like) hit the earth, and raised enough dust to block out the sun for months. Plants and animals died. But this doesn’t explain why some life-forms survived and others didn’t. Why was extinction selective?

From a biblical perspective, a likely reason for the extinction of the dinosaurs is the worldwide flood detailed in Genesis 6-7. After the flood, mankind changed from being able to live about 900 years, to gradually only living 80-120 years. It was possible that God made a class of very large animals perish in the flood, because He knew that the strength of man would decrease, and that such animals would not be able to be controlled by feeble man anymore. 

Alternatively, a theory in which the dinosaurs survived the flood is still biblically sound. I mean, consider this: If the flood drowned the dinosaurs, it certainly would never have drowned the sea dinosaurs. Everything that exists in the sea before the flood still exists today. But the fact is that approximately 95% of the world’s seas have not yet been discovered. Let that sink in for a moment. Who knows what could still be down there?

If dinosaurs escaped the ark, the dramatic change in climate due to the falling of the “waters from above” that are referenced in Genesis 1:6, would have caused many dinosaurs to perish in the sudden heat, as well as being an explanation for the drop in the life-expectancy for humans (because the sun was now shining directly on them, without the water blocking the sun from above). So, dinosaurs started dropping like flies. Furthermore, in the same way that hunters kill bears and other wild beasts who are a threat to their families, in a world where dinosaurs and man co-existed, it is only natural to assume that man hunted dinosaurs for thousands of years (according to this theory). 

How many bears, crocodiles and tigers are on suburban land today? Zero! And how many bears, crocodiles and tigers were on suburban land 100 years ago? Many! Dinosaurs were hunted and endangered as men continued to hunt them, as our very own familiar beasts are.

There are even theories to suggest that small dinosaurs (the unhunted), as well as the deep sea dinosaurs, still exist today! There have been numerous sightings of ‘sea serpents’ ‘monsters’ (Loch Ness, for example, a beast that has been sighted individually over 9000 times), and dinosaur-like creatures in countries all over the world. There is a swamp in the African Congo, which remains approximately 80% undiscovered and is the home to many natives. Scientific expeditions out there have recorded the natives reporting many sightings of ‘Mokele-mbembe’, a water-dwelling creature that looks identical to a dinosaur. 

I don’t believe it to be mere coincidence that the different monsters sighted in Canada, Ireland, New Zealand, the Congo and many other countries are all of similar size, shape and likeness to a dinosaur. More specifically, a chilling amount of them, from report, bear specific similarity to a Plesiosaurus. How can that be coincidence? Or anything else, especially given that the natives in the Congo -- who drew pictures of a Plesiosaurus when asked to produce an image of what ‘Mokele-mbembe’ looked like -- have literally zero communication with any other country in the world.

If this stuff interests you, please watch the first link provided below, as I can assure you there are hundreds of stories of similar sightings all over the world.

Another theory is that in God’s 7 days of creating the earth, the story did not mean literal days. After all, as Peter says in 2 Peter 3:8:

“But do not forget this one thing, dear friends: With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day.”

By this logic, the ‘day’ in which God created “the great sea creatures and every living creature that moves, with which the waters swarm, according to their kinds, and every winged bird according to its kind,” (Genesis 1:21) could have lasted a lot longer than our 24 hours of a day.

If you have time and would like to dive into the theory of creationism+dinosaurs, this lecture is an excellent one to watch:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HsQIF7Yh3hI

Nobody was around to see what actually happened to dinosaurs. I wasn’t. You weren’t. Even Charles Darwin wasn’t. It seems that prior to the 19th century, the oldest historical text to follow was the Bible, and other reliable texts such as ancient wall-paintings, texts, myths, legends and stories (a lot of which included ‘fire breathing dragons’ or creatures of the like). For this reason, before the 19th century it is probable that many subscribed to the theory of creationism, or whatever was taught/proved as fact by these texts. After 1801, the beginning of the 19th century, technology made enough progression to welcome in other feasible theories based on what radioactive and carbon dating could ‘prove’ (please see link below for dispute on this by evolutionist-turned-Christian John Mackay). Is it possible that Satan used this technological development to plant incorrect theories in our minds about dinosaurs, so that we and our children would doubt the Bible? 

These are all very interesting questions. I have recently been listening to John Mackay, a man who used to be a devout evolutionist, but now devotes his life to disproving common theories of evolution. His interview below is definitely worth a watch!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=24T7ebvjdq4

And here is a clip of him debating Richard Dawkins casually! :

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DH2_j7bpsLo

Regardless of when or for how long dinosaurs existed, there is certainly support in the Bible that dinosaurs did, in fact, exist, and perhaps even in the time of mankind. Whether their extinction was by a meteor or the great flood, the integrity of the Bible does not suffer. If, for some reason, someone found a little dinosaur running around in some deep forest TODAY, it would not really affect our understanding of the Bible or our faith. Whereas, evolutionists would have to redefine and change their whole system of thought if they found a dinosaur in today’s world. 

The importance is, it doesn’t matter! Our faith is still the same! And it’s great!

[jackisreallycool]

hi every1 im new here in my garage with my new ✨LAMBORGHINI🏎!!!!!!! holds up⬆️ spork🍴 What the 🍆fuck🍑 did you just 👉👌fucking say about me, you little👌👌 good shit you little good shit you little 👌👌 good shit? shut you the FUCK UP F*GGOT❌ teleports around and shoots beams at you🔫👾 I’ll have you know I 🎓graduated🎓 🔝 of my class in the 🐳Navy Seals🐳⚓️⚓️, and I’ve been involved in numerous🔢 🙊secret🔎 🔥RAIDS💥 on 💣Al-Quaeda👳🏽, and I have over 3⃣💯 confirmed 📘📗bookshelves📚. thats ✔️ some impressive👌👌shit right👌👌th 👌 ere👌👌👌 right✔️there (chorus: ʳᶦᵍʰᵗ ᵗʰᵉʳᵉ) isn't it? has anyone really been far🌌 even as decided ✌🏻 use even go want to do look more like✔️up 👉here👈 in 🎬the 🌠HOLLYWOOD🎞🎥HILLS⛰? I am trained💪🏻 in gorilla🙈 warfare and I’m the 🔝🔫sniper🔭 in the entire 🎬HOLLYWOOD🌆HILLS⛰🇺🇸 armed💪🏻forces. my name is katy👧🏻 but u can call me 🐧💀🐧t3h PeNgU1N oF T41 LoP3Z🐧💀🐧‼️‼️‼️1⃣‼️‼️ lol…as u can see im very 🎲randomaterialistic💵😎👍🏻✡❗️❗️ You are 🚫NOTHING🚫 to me but just another fuel⛽️unit target🎯👈you. I will wipe you the fuck out✔️ with KNOWLEDGE🎓🤓🤑 the 👍🏻likes👍🏻 of which has never been 👀seen b4⃣ on this 🌏Earth🌎, mark my 👉👌🍆fucking🍑 w🌚rds. You think you can get away with saying that good✔️shit💩👌 2⃣ me over the Internet? Think🙇🏻 again, fucker👉👌. You! kicks you from behind👟💥 Are! teleports✨👽 in front of you and uppercuts you into the air Just! flies into the air with flaming spiral uppercut A STUPID TROLL!👹👿 As we speak👄 I am contacting my 🙊SECRET🙊 network of 5⃣MENTORS across the USA🇺🇸 and your IP is being traced🔬 right now so you better prepare 4 the ☁️storm⚡️, maggot🐛. The ☁️storm⚡️ that wipes🙌 out the pathetic little thing you call your life🐛🔥🔥. You’re fucking dead💀, kid. thats why i came here, 2kill random ppl on the internetz💻📠 _… im 1⃣3⃣ years old (im mature 4 my age tho!!) I can be anywhere🌍, anytime⏳⌛️, and I can kill you in over seven💯ways, and that’s just with my 🐻bare🐻 hands🙌. i like 2 watch invader👾zim👽 w/ my lamborghini💁 (im bi if u dont like it deal w/it🌈👩‍❤️‍👩👩‍❤️‍👩👩‍❤️‍👩) its our favorite tv show!!! bcuz its SOOOO ＦＵＮ ＴＯ ＤＲＩＶＥ ＵＰ ＨＥＲＥ ＩＮ ＴＨＥ ＨＯＬＬＹＷＯＯＤ ＨＩＬＬＳ!!!! shes random🎲2⃣ of course but i want ✌🏻 meet more random ppl👬👭👫👫👭👬 =) like they say the more the merrier😂!!!! hits you with flame🔥👊🏻 uppercut and grabs your head😎 and throws you down to the ground NOW DIE FAG👻!!! DOOOOOMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <--- me bein random again _^ hehe…toodles!!!!! Garfield😽 leans towards Jon.😘 Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed⛔️💪🏻 combat, but I have 💳access🔖🔑 to the entire arsenal✂️🔫🚬💣🔨🔪✈️🚁 of the United States 🇺🇸Marine⚓️ Corps🐬🐳🐋🐟🐠 and I will use it to its full👐🏻 extent to wipe your miserable as🍑s off the face of the continent🌍✔️, you little good shit👌👌. Jon slowly sticks his hand into the 🍝pasta🍜 dish. As he lifts his warm hand out of the lasaga🍝, he holds a large clump of pasta🍝, sauce🍝 and cheese🍕. He slowly brings the lasaga🍝🍝 towards Garfield's😻👅 mouth who ate all the lasaga🍝. If only you could have known🎓✔️ what unholy🙌🏻 retribution your little “clever📃” commen📝t was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking 🍆💦tongue👅. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re ✔️paying the price💲💲💲, you goddamn😤 idiot. crashes into you with meteor💫💥 slam attack and kills you🔪 heh... another 4⃣channer🍀 falls to me. I will shit💩bookshelves📘 all over yo💯u and you will drown🌊😱🌊 in it. You’re fucking dead💀, kidd😢o. "i ate those food🍣🍤🍝🍟🍭🍫🍱🍆" Garfield replies. Jon then inserts the lasaga into Garfield's mouth💋 and proceeds to eat the rest of the stray lasaga🍝 in his hand.👋 "this lasaga🍝 is great, Jon." Garfield😼 says. Time for something a little different ✔️✔️if i do ƽaү so my selｆ 💯 i say so 💯 thats what im talking about ri✔️ght there Jon grabs another glob of lasaga🍝. He reaches behind Garfield and slowly inserts the fuel unit🍝🍝 into his anus🍑. "do you like that you big fat cat?😼" Jon questions. Garfield pu😼rrs with joy. "thank you Jon for this wonderful time" 🍝🍝🍝🍝Garfield says. At the entrance of the door to the kitchen, 🐶a silhouette of a 🐕dog appears. A quiet mumble is heard but inaudible for the man and feline to hear. "bOrf"👅 the dog mumbled.🐕 mMMMMᎷМ💯 👌👌 👌НO0ОଠＯOOＯOОଠଠOoooᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒ👌 👌👌 👌 💯 👌 👀 👀 👀 👌👌love❤️ and waffles and CUMMIES💦 you little goo💯d shit👌,🐧t3h PeNgU1N oF d00m🐧 Psssh, ❌❌❌notting personnel, kid💁🚬 teleports away