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talkingpointsusa · 9 months

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Of Rubes and Rubins; Debunking the December 13th 2023 Episode of the Rubin Report.

After how furiously I reacted to Matt Walshes episode on Wednesday, I figured we should take a break from the current crop of talking heads we feature on this blog and talk about a new person, and that new person is Dave Rubin.

For those who don't know Dave Rubin, Dave was formerly a member of the Young Turks before leaving and starting his own show. Since then he has been a massive source of embarrassment to himself and others. From basically begging Ben Shapiro to go to the anniversary party for him and his husband and then being shocked when he realized that this new crowd he is hanging out with is deeply homophobic to giving us galaxy brained quotes like "Authoritarian's love authoritarianism." Dave is both a source of amusement and frustration to myself and others.

I truly believe that Dave Rubin is a pure grifter. While people like Matt Walsh and Charlie Kirk seem to be true believers, Dave here basically did a complete 180 on his political views overnight. Coincidentally that 180 happened to be when he got a truckload of money from the Koch Brothers (Source; The American Prospect, Why Should We Care About Faux Free-Speech Warriors? Because the Koch Brothers Are Paying Their Bills).

He tried his hand at making money off of the left but when that didn't work he decided to become a right-wing grifter. I don't like calling people liars and con-men but in Dave's case it is blatantly obvious.

On the 13th, Dave was also talking about Dana White saying the right should end the Bud Light boycott. There is no way his take could be worse than the dreck Matt Walsh was throwing up on the 13th....right?

I guess we shall see. Let's get into it, shall we?

Transphobia Warning. God, I hate how many times I have had to write that so far;

2:38: "But what you don't wanna do is snatch victory away, you don't wanna snatch defeat from the jaws of victory."

Dave Rubin: Master orator. I'm sure he was quite proud of that one.

If you saw my right-wing figures tier list and wondered why I put Dave Rubin under "accidental comedy", this is why. This kind of thing happens a lot on Dave's show.

2:55: "As you guys know, a couple months back Dylan Mulvaney, this dude who puts on a dress and it's unclear if he or she had all the surgeries, doesn't even matter. Calls himself uhh, well wait. He's Dylan Mulvaney, he calls himself what? What's the girls name?"

Here we have Dave struggling to understand somebodies identity. Starting off strong here.

If you are transgender you don't legally have to change your name, that should be obvious. It's your identity and your body so it's your choice at the end of the day. Dylan has decided that she is keeping the name Dylan and that's perfectly fine, her choice at the end of the day and really as long as she's happy it's a good choice.

What I find hilarious about this clip is that I don't think Dave realizes how dumb this comment makes him long. The right has been talking about this person for months and you're just now realizing that Dylan kept her birth name?

Dave gives some more "backstory" for the boycott, don't care, we've talked about why it happened what feels like a million times. He then plays the Dana White/Tucker Carlson Bud Light clip. As said previously, this is fully because Dana was given so much money by the company that it would be unreasonable from a business standpoint for him to not take the deal. Anyway, all of that isn't important. What is important is Dave's hot take on the situation. Let's listen (or in your case read).

7:36: "Now look, regardless if you are a patriot, super patriot, or a regular patriot, or a half a patriot, nobody should be drinking gallons of Bud Light. You shouldn't be drinking a ton of beer in general."

Dana wasn't literally saying you should be drinking gallons of Bud Light, he was just saying you should be drinking it again if you are participating in the boycott.

Also, let's unpack the levels of "patriot" here. I guess half a patriot is someone who is a Trump supporter but isn't fully into the cult of Trump. But what I am confused about is how does one graduate from a regular patriot to a super patriot? I guess the guys who stormed the Capitol were super patriots in this hierarchy, I'm not sure.

Man, we're only seven minutes in and this is already really dumb.

8:16: "He keeps saying that Bud Light is more in line with your values but he never lays out what that means, how is Bud Light more in line with your values than these other companies?"

Well, as Dave later astutely points out, it's completely for the money. Golly, imagine changing all your values over money. I wonder who would do that, eh Dave?!

8:31: "But in essence what he's saying is 'Bud Light gave us a shit ton of money.'"

As I hinted at earlier, Dave Rubin has absolutely zero right to criticize somebody for selling out their beliefs for cash for the reasons I explained above. The absolute lack of self-awareness is astonishing.

Dave then plays another clip of Dana explaining why he went with Bud Light. Dana makes some claims about the charitable things Bud Light has done. It's absolutely still about the money but Dave decides to "engage with this argument" and gives what might be one of the dumbest takes of the year.

11:57: "Alright, so they employ 65,000 people and you don't want those people to suffer. Of course you don't. Actually, when the Bud Light boycott happened we played a video of a guy who was just like a local distributor in a store saying 'Hey, nobodies buying Bud Light anymore, my job is in trouble.' Of course you have sympathy for those people for sure but there's tons of other beer companies."

So what Dave is essentially saying here is that 65,000 people will be out of a job if Bud Light goes under because the right is throwing a tantrum over an Instagram post, but that's A-OK because "they'll just get a job somewhere else."

WHAT?!

Does Dave not realize how hard it is to get a job in todays market is, let alone the mental toll being laid off causes?! These employees have families to feed and bills to pay. The effects of being laid off can destroys somebodies life. They can lead to people not being able to afford healthcare and even basic things like food for your children. To just flippantly say that they should "just get a job somewhere else" is completely ignoring, well, reality!

12:37: "Also the idea that you shouldn't boycott a company because they have a lot of employees, the government has a lot of employees. So something is not good, inherently, because it has a lot of employees."

First of all, that's an apples to oranges comparison because you can't boycott the government! Comparing a private corporation to the government is insanely stupid!

Secondly, I am not anti-boycott but the boycott has to be for a good reason. "I didn't like an Instagram post because it had a trans person in it" isn't a good reason to boycott a company and put those jobs on the line. If the company is doing something objectively bad than you can boycott them.

13:51: "I mean, look at the stories that we've told you in the past couple of days about Harvard and Penn and what you see happening all over the whole world right now in terms of the wrong ideas getting into institutions and what that does."

Putting aside the Harvard and UPenn stuff, which we already touched on before and probably will again when it's more relevant, I would like to point out that Dave Rubin is gay.

I normally wouldn't point to somebodies sexuality and say that it should inform their political beliefs, but in this case I feel like it's justified because a couple decades ago people would have been saying that Dave marrying who he wants to marry was one of those "wrong ideas."

This, in my opinion, makes his lack of empathy towards transgender people more stunning and disgusting. Dave, of all people we have covered on this blog so far, should know the most about what it's like to be othered because of your sexuality. So the fact that he's willingly spouting hateful rhetoric against transgender people for money is all the more disgraceful.

14:10: "I was at Busch Gardens when I was a kid. Saw the clydesdales, great horses. I don't want them to suffer but that's not a reason to drink Bud Light."

If Dave wasn't talking out of his ass he would know that Anheuser-Busch hasn't had anything to do with Busch Gardens since 2009. It's currently owned by SeaWorld.

14:23: "Or perhaps what Dana could have done is say 'Ok, you know what? You guys are offer-' Like, they must have offered him a crazy amount of money, I have no idea. At one point it said they were gonna triple their marketing budget. Let's say they offered him 50 million bucks, I don't know what the number is, I'm completely making that out of thin air. He could have said to them 'Alright, you want me to put my reputation on the line. I'll take your cash, that's pretty good and I can do good things with that cash and build my brand and all that stuff and everything else. But your gonna have to apologize first.'"

Again, Dave Rubin; master orator.

If Dana did that, InBev realistically would have said no to the deal and found another sponsor who was more willing to play by their rules. Like I said when I covered Matt Walsh's response to this, InBev's best move is to ride this out and wait for these guys to get distracted by some new culture war related nonsense. If they apologize they will have pissed off the LGBTQ community, well everyone in that community except for Dave, and the left as a whole. They would have an even worse fallout to deal with.

15:19: "So I will remind you in just a moment about what Bud Light actually did and then we're gonna connect it to a bunch of wider stuff because this is much bigger than just about crappy beer that I used to drink upside-down from a keg when I was in college because I was a pretty cool dude."

You aren't anymore and I would pay to see you do a keg stand on your show.

And I'll say it again, it was one bloody Instagram post and it wasn't even on the Bud Light account, it was on Dylan's. The only broader issue that conservatives have with this is "I hate trans people."

17:06: "And I promise you people, if Gravity Defyer offers a sponsorship to Dylan Mulvaney I will not work for them. And if I came in here and suddenly I was like 'Oh, I like Dylan Mulvaney, isn't he and or she wonderful in her Gravity Defyer shoes?' And I was doing that, you might think 'Dave, how much did they pay you to say that?'"

Awww, look at you pretending to have principals. That would be almost as crazy as you being a relatively progressive commentator for most of your career and then all of a sudden, coincidentally around the time the Koch Brothers started paying you, you became a hardcore conservative. And you know what would be really dumb? If the only explanation you gave for this sudden dramatic change in ideals was "the left became too left-wing".

I personally think Michael Knowles is painfully disingenuous and smarmy which is part of why I really don't like listening to him, but Dave Rubin takes disingenuous to new extremes.

Dave then plays a clip of the VP of marketing at Bud Light explaining the decision for the ad.

19:05: "Frat guys drink beer. You know who doesn't really drink beer? Trans women!"

Dave is wrong yet again. As a matter of fact, alcohol abuse is pretty common among trans women specifically. This is an awful fact and it is probably in part due to the attitude of hatred around their sexuality that people like Dave Rubin have exploited for money and views. However, we are here to talk about the the claim being made here that "trans people don't drink" which is completely false.

Now let's look at the other group he's mentioned, people in college.

What he was saying was absolutely true back in the day, but not so much anymore. For the past two decades the trend (source, Cleveland Clinic) of alcohol consumption amongst young adults in college has been going downwards with 30% of college students saying they don't drink beer, wine, or spirits in 2018.

So from that standpoint, college students are starting to drink less and transwomen are starting to drink more.

19:13: "Trans women, whatever that is even, is such a tiny, a ridiculously tiny percentage of the population that to market to them would be insane."

They weren't just marketing to transwomen specifically. If the broader LGBTQ population, which when you factor all of them in becomes a way larger chunk of the population, were to see trans representation in an ad they might be more inclined to buy from that brand.

19:38: "When you're out on a date. If the girl, your sitting at the bar, you order something and then the girl, I mean before this whole Bud Light thing, if the girl said 'I'll have a Bud Light' what would you have thought of that girl? Red flag right?"

Or "Oh, she likes Bud Light. Ok."

Like, who cares what your partners drink of choice is? As long as they like it and it isn't a danger to themself and others it doesn't matter at all!

19:55: "But, like, it's not for girls."

This show is so dumb. Sure, females aren't Bud Lights target market, but who cares if a female likes Bud Light or not?

That's like a twelve year old telling his little sister that she can't play with his action figure because "It's not for girls". Man, this is so dumb.

20:03: "You see how I'm connecting this to everything else. Once woke gets into the system, whether it's Harvard (and) the next thing you know they're calling for genocide of Jews. Whether it's Bud Light and instead of marketing to frat guys they're trying to get chicks to drink their shitty beer. It destroys absolutely everything."

Protestors calling for an end to the war in the Middle East aren't calling for the genocide of Jews but that's beside the point. Also, I have asked this before but what the hell even is wokeness?!

What is important is that Dave Rubin thinks that a company *GASP* expanding their advertising to try and appeal to an untapped market will lead to the literal end of society! Even if we use his argument this is stupid for a massive reason. How is a company trying to expand to different markets even comparable to calling for genocide?!

Dave then plays the ad and the clip of Kid Rock shooting Bud Light cans. Once the clips end, it becomes time once again for more of Dave's ever so brilliant insights.

22:15: "But there's something interesting going on here. As Brock just mentioned, just what was it? Two weeks ago? When Trump walked out at a UFC event with Dana White and Tucker Carlson, Kid Rock was with him too. So there's this strange thing where these people are sort of taking every side of everything."

I feel like Dave is coming to terms with the fact that everyone else on the right is as much of a money hungry grifter as he is.

Dave decides to give us his take on the satanic statue in Iowa. Again, this was last week Wednesday so this was before the mural was decapitated. He plays the clip of Ron DeSantis saying that the Satanic Temple got their tax exemption during the Trump Administration. He doesn't really have a take on it, just boring crap of him saying so much without saying anything. Dave plays another clip of Ron DeSantis, he's apparently a DeSantis guy. Considering he lives in Florida, this makes sense. Considering that he's gay and DeSantis is a giant homophobe who claims that Trump was too sympathetic to LGBTQ+ people, this makes no sense. Then he delivers this gem.

30:09: "Everyone with their head on straight knows that Florida is now the model for whatever America can be if America's gonna succeed."

Bahahaha. If Florida is the model for an ideal America, that country is doomed. Florida has had 28 mass shootings this month and accounts for nearly 12% of all mass shootings in the states.

Florida is also the third most dangerous state for violent crime, with 2,087 homicides being reported so far this year.

Florida's track record with LGBTQ+ people and passing anti-LGBTQ+ legislation is so bad that the Human Rights Campaign issued a travel advisory to Florida.

So yeah, if Florida is the model for a successful America you'd get an extremely bigoted nation with a shit-ton of violent crime...which to be fair is the trajectory that America is headed down.

Dave plays another DeSantis clip. Whatever.

32:13: "Intrinsically, telling the truth is the right thing to do."

I agree, too bad this is coming from a guy who is being paid to lie about everything.

Dave then talks about Ukraine funding and border security. There have been a record number of migrants heading into the US and the Republicans have refused to approve more foreign aid unless Biden does something about the border. Essentially, the Republicans want to make it harder for migrants and refugees to get in if they fear persecution in their home countries (New York Times).

34:18: "What does Ukraine funding have to do with defending our border?"

They are two entirely separate issues and the only reason they are being equated here is because the right is making that an issue. Nobody on the left is saying "defending Ukraine is defending our borders".

Also, for a guy who is super pro-Israel, Dave really shouldn't be defending this. The Republicans are withholding aid to Israel as well!

34:22: "If we cannot defend our border why should we be giving money to Ukraine?"

Same argument can be made for Israel. Also, because multiple innocent Ukrainians lives are on the line due to Russia's invasion. They need our help.

36:23: "We don't know who the good guys and bad guys are."

Hmmm, we've got the military superpower that is invading a tiny country and has committed multiple war crimes and the country that is being invaded. Man, it's so hard to figure out who the good guys and bad guys are.

36:31: "By the way, I would say that's starkly different than whats going on with Israel and Gaza because there's a very clear win there which is the toppling of Hamas."

There is also a very clear win in Ukraine and that is Russia stopping the invasion and withdrawing their troops from Ukrainian land.

38:15: "How about we deal with problems related to prices of food and things of that nature?"

Again, this appeals to Israel funding as well. Plus, Israel is a nation that is way more powerful than Ukraine without American funding so an argument can be made that funding should be slowed for Israel and more focused on Ukraine if you want money to deal with problems in America.

Also, the Republicans haven't provided an effective solution to inflation.

Dave then talks about the colleges a bit more, and then drops this gem.

42:08: "I'm just not hiring college grads anymore. If you do not go to college, if you have virtually no education, we want you here at the Rubin Report."

Can't make that up. I would imagine that college graduates aren't banging down Dave Rubin's door as most of them will realize within five minutes of a show how flimsy everything he says is.

And with that, the show ends. What a fitting note.

Conclusion:

So, what have we learnt today? Well, Dave Rubin thinks 65,000 people being fired over one ad is fine and he just generally doesn't have a clue what he is talking about. Since I wrote this on Sunday, the next episode will probably cover how one of these guys responded to the senate gay sex video, might even do multiple of these guys Monday shows just to get an idea of the full spectrum of reactionary's reacting.

Cheers and I'll see you in the next one!

#right wing bullshit #journalism #conservative bullshit #fact checking #bad takes #conservatives #dave rubin #disinformation #fuck transphobes #transphobes suck #politics

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smokeybrandreviews · 1 year

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NBA Rant: Round One Roundabout

I have to say, this first round of the NBA Playoffs has been wildly exciting. I mean, the Kings are back in the Playoffs after damn near two decades. Giannis was bounced out by Jimmy Buckets! The Clippers did what Clippers do and sank. Man, there have been some straight up moments n these first few games and i got feelings!

The LAkers are glass cannons and we better pay AR15, goddamn!

My darling LAkers are so goddamn inconsistent, it’s soul crushing. These cats have all the tools necessary to be great and yet, we lose two games to the goddamn Grizz? We are, obviously, better than our seed (and the Grizz much, much, worse than theirs) but, come on, really? They better pay Austin Reeves, though. This kid earned a raised during this first round. That, and the fact this team isn’t built to “win now.” These cats were thrown together at the trade deadline. We are overachieving right no. I am dying to see what an entire summer and preseason turn this already close squad into.

D-Lo is still the player I thought he was way back when.

Russell had a pretty mediocre showing in this series and said some really wonky sh*t in press conferences. I’m concerned he’s still that immature kid who ratted on Nick Young. That’s nether here nor there right now bu dude still seems to have that ego sink all over him, which concerns me about the future. We need a guard who doesn’t mind taking a backseat in the moment but, when needed, drop a solid fifteen to twenty and Russell is wildly inconsistent in that regard. Dude can put up cartoon numbers, sure, but most of the time, he’s kind of a chucker? Or, at least, that’s what he’s been through these first six games.

The Bucks got straight bodied by the Injury Bandit.

The Bucks have been the best team in the entire NBA this whole season. Easily creme of the crop. I thought, for sure, they were on their way to a Finals repeat. I thought Giannis was abut to take his turn as the new LeBron, forcing anyone with title aspirations through Milwaukee for years to come. Nope. Bro, when he went down with that back injury, his team crumpled. These motherf*ckers just wilted like week old lettuce and i couldn’t believe it. I doesn’t help that Coach Bud got absolutely schooled in he Xs and Os by Coach Spo. When your number one goes down and the mastermind is a dunce, you don’t really have a shot as the W. It also helps that...

Jimmy Buckets is THAT dude!!

Bro, Playoff HIMmy is real! I wasn’t even clocking the Heat for anything this post-season, a footnote in the odyssey of the Greek Freak’s illustrious career, and then THIS happens? double-nickel plus one more, in a historic showing on the way to giving the number one seeded Bucks a gentleman sweep. This Miami Heat team is the one of six, eight seed teams to topple a number one. Not for nothing but my seven seeded LAkers knocked of the two seed Grizz, i forgot to mention that above, but to have both of those moments happen in the same year is ridiculous. The Grizz deserved it. The Bucks, not so much. Giannis blew out his back trying to slow down Jimmy getting his buckets.

Still not wrong about Rusty Westbrick but the Clippers sure were.

Boy, if I'm Kawhi, I'm mad. Took all this time off to get straight for the Playoffs and, right before we get a shot at a proper title run for the first time in his Clippers tenure, you sign Rusty Westbrick? Word? Bro, say what you will about his stats and accolades and locker room chemistry, Russ is a loser. That’s hat he does: Loses. I’ve seen this man snatch defeat out from the jaws of victory for years. I watched him play KD out of OKC. That’s an L for an entire franchise and, sure enough, he played the Clippers out of the Playoffs. Look, i know he was the most efficient he’s ever been post OKC days or whatever but that motherf*cker is watching the rest of these games from home. There’s a reason why the LAkers got better after we traded dude away and no amount of locker room positivity will ever change the fact that Rusty Westbrick is a loser.

Hell, How ‘bout them Kings?

If you would have told me that the Kings would be a top five team in the West this season, I'd have called you a liar. If you’d have told me they would take the reigning NBA champion Warriors to seven games in the first round, I'd have punch you in the mouth. This sh*t is AMAZING! I thought that Haliburton trade was the “Kings gonna Kings” moment but nope! Fox stepped up and Monk stepped right with him. Sabonis has been a everything this team has needed and more. I am stunned how deep, fun to watch, and young this squad is. Seriously, the Kings deserved that third spot. They earned it. As a life long LAkers fan, i am rooting for the purple and gold. I want them to beat the Warriors tomorrow so we bring this long dormant rivalry back to life. Light the f*cking beam!

Ja might be my favorite of the youngsters but the Grizz are NOT fine in the West.

Bet Dillon Brooks regrets poking that bear, yeah? What the f*ck happened to this team, man? I was rooting for these cats. I wanted Ja to take that next step. I wanted this squad to finally get the shine they deserve and NOPE! F*cking shenanigans, clownery, and disappointment.

I’m sorry, Ms. Jackson.

The Cs had WAY too hard of a time with the goddamn Hawks. Seriously, the arena was double booked with a Janet Jackson concert because f*cking Atlanta didn’t even think they’d still be playing by then. The Celtics put it away in convincing fashion but really, bro? Six games for the f*cking Hawks? Word? Whatever gave y’all that hitch in your step, you better fix it because Philly is next man up and Embiid is hungry. Giannis ain’t around to gt in his way and he wants to make that sprint to the Finals, for sure.

#NBA Rant

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smokeybrand · 1 year

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NBA Rant: Round One Roundabout

The LAkers are glass cannons and we better pay AR15, goddamn!

My darling LAkers are so goddamn inconsistency, it’s soul crushing. These cats gave all the tools necessary to be great and yet, we lose two games to the goddamn Grizz? We are, obviously, better than our seed (and the Grizz much, much worse than theirs) but, come on, really? They better pay Austin Reeves, though. This kid earned a raised during this first round. That, and the fact this team isn’t built to “win now.” These cats were thrown together at the trade deadline. We are overachieving right no. I am dying to see what an entire summer and preseason turn this already close squad into.

D-Lo is still the player I thought he was way back when.

The Bucks got straight bodied by the Injury Bandit.

Jimmy Buckets is THAT dude!!

Still not wrong about Rusty Westbrick but the Clippers sure were.

Hell, How ‘bout them Kings?

Ja might be my favorite of the youngsters but the Grizz are NOT fine in the West.

I’m sorry, Ms. Jackson.

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katsidhe · 3 years

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So, how do you feel about how Lucifer was characterized post s5? Because s5 Lucifer is definitely not the same as Season 11-15 Lucifer. I'm not counting season seven because I always saw that Lucifer as a personification of Sam's guilt and self-loathing. But season eleven Lucifer is basically the caricature from season seven. With none of the nuance of season five. S5 Lucifer didn't torture Sam like other angels, he asked Michael to step off the board with him. I feel like the show ignored s5

Uh, I mean... *gestures at blog chock-full of post-s5 Lucifer enthusiasm* …I think he’s got nuance lol.

So first of all: of course s5 Lucifer is not the same as s11-15 Lucifer. S5 Lucifer was WINNING. S5 Lucifer was watching all of his plans coming together. He could afford to be generous. He was about to prove to his whole family that he was right all along. There was no reason for him to torture Sam: Sam had not hurt or betrayed him. Sam’s capitulation and consent, and Lucifer’s victory, was something he saw as inevitable.

You know a time when late-seasons Lucifer is acting the most like s5 Lucifer? In 13.21, when he’s about to go to Jack. He’s just resurrected Sam—who just hours ago, had trapped him, mocked him, and drained him of grace. And does he torture Sam? No. Because he thinks he’s winning again.

I also think it’s more than a little reductive to brush off Hallucifer as merely an avatar for Sam’s guilt and self-loathing! Like, yeah, there’s some of that. But he’s also an avatar for Lucifer, the dude who tortured Sam for a long, long time, the guy who’s been inside Sam’s head, whose head Sam has been inside, who Sam knows better than anyone else in existence. To claim that Hallucifer bears no resemblance to the actual Lucifer, or is not a signifier of how Lucifer actually acted around Sam, or of what Sam thinks of Lucifer, is plain wrong. Hallucifer is Sam’s memories, Sam’s very well-informed perspective of Lucifer, tied in with a lot of poisonous coping mechanisms.

I won’t say Lucifer doesn’t suffer at all from uneven writing. Those are the risks characters have to weather on the CW’s Supernatural. But I’d say his characterization is pretty consistent on the whole! His petulance, his cruelty, his persecution complex, his issues with his family, his assumption that his problems are the only ones with moral weight, his fascination with the human who ruined him: these are all consistent with the guy in s5 who thought he was about to win it all, only to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory, courtesy of Sam.

He’s a sore loser, and not a sore winner. It just so happens that he spends most of the show losing.

#sam and lucifer #sam and hallucinations #look he’s my emotional support fucked up archangel #and I will die on the hill of daydreaming about him and sam talking in rooms in s11-s15 #frankly I think s11-s15 should have been nothing but sam and lucifer talking in rooms #13.21 #5.22

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ot3 · 3 years

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hey kinda heavy ace attorney question ig but I agree with you on many things about aa and feel like you have a good understanding of Phoenix and Trucy so I really wanna ask. How do you think the creation of the bloody ace was handled? I’ve seen the idea that Trucy took matters into her own hands and made it as a failsafe without his knowledge, and that he then covered for her, but if that were the case I wonder how he knew about it and planned around it at his trial. I’ve also seen the idea that he made it himself, but gave it to her for delivery to Apollo; which maybe seems the most apparent but I really dislike it because…. It means he uses her to deliver forged evidence. In much the same way he was given the diary page, really. it leaves a bad taste in my mouth. I’ve also seen some people suggest that he made it but only gave it to her for use at her discretion, which does give some agency back to her but I also question whether Phoenix would be right in placing that on her shoulders and making it her responsibility. Sorry this expanded into a ridiculously long ask but I really am curious about your take on it?

eoooh yes yes yes i love talking about phoenix and trucy lets goooooo. i actually have a scene from my (still pretty rough and probably never to be finished) wip longfic covering this scene, which ill sick below the cut, but i'll just give my generic thoughts here first.

i think phoenix asked her to do it. trucy having enough detailed knowledge of the crime scene and the events leading up to it and the actual mechanical operation of trials that would be required in order to come up with this plan just doesn't make any sense to me. phoenix is really the only one who could have theoretically concocted this particular move. but since he was presumably held in the detention center until trial, trucy is from there really the only person who could have actually done the thing.

phoenix and trucy are pretty notoriously codependent; i'm headachey and melting from the heat today so rather than doing what i normally do and trawling the wiki to find the quotes that back me up on broadstrokes statements like these so i'm just gonna pull a 'dude just trust me' moment here. the fact that she helps take care of her daddy is a point of pride for her. i don't think it strips trucy of any agency for this to be phoenix's decision because it's not like trucy spends her whole life (or even the entire game) blindly following other peoples orders. her (and phoenix's ) priority at the beginning of aa4 is each other and their own wellbeing, and the decisions they have to make in turnabout trump are indicative of that.

yes, it echoes her bringing the forged evidence to phoenix 7 years ago, but it's more of an inversion/reversal (one might even say a turnabout) than a repetition of past mistakes. in the past she was an unwilling pawn in someone else's plan where her life was collateral, now she's an active and conscious participant in the plan of someone she cares about that she's doing to protect the life she and phoenix have built for themselves. She's not being forced to do it, but i don't think there's any world where she would have said no either. she and phoenix are the most important thing in the world to each other. in their own words, if one of them falls, they both fall.

was it right of phoenix to ask this of her? was it okay for him to do this to apollo, too? obviously it's not a good thing. but it was his only option at that moment. phoenix found himself in a very difficult situation. as an attorney he promised himself to the truth, and that was the principle he lived by, but as a father what he lives by is the promise he made to trucy to never disappear on her. at that moment phoenix did what he had to do to make sure the trial ended the way he needed it to. truth had to take a backseat. his priorities have shifted.

i've also spoken before at length about how i don't think phoenix was plotting against kristoph in the longterm, at least not to the degree which popular fanon seems to agree upon. so really everything he did in turnabout trump was phoenix being backed into a corner using every tool at his disposal to try and snatch victory out of the jaws of defeat. was it right of him to get trucy involved? it's no worse than bringing 8 year old pearl along to crime scenes because he needed her channeling skills. phoenix cares about people deeply but he isn't capable of shielding them from all the harm the world has to offer, and he knows he isn't. half of his capability comes from his shrewdness and willingness and ability to take help when he can get it because he knows, even if its a strain in a short term, he's fighting battles that need to be won at any cost. if that makes any sense

anyway heres the little scene i wrote below the cut.

---------- APRIL 17TH, 2026 DETENTION CENTER VISITOR’S ROOM ----------

Trucy shows up on the dot as visiting hours begin. It’s funny, she thinks. The last time she did this she had a different daddy altogether. Only it really isn’t particularly funny at all, is the thing about it, and she’s going to have quite a few stern words for the man when he gets home.

She picks up the phone on one side of the pane of bulletproof glass and he grabs the other.

“Daddy,” she huffs. “You promised me you’d stay out of trouble.”

“I know, I know, I’m so sorry, Truce.” He puts on an easy smile as he says it, and he uses the same affected tone of voice she had used to start the conversation off. Affected. Cautious, in the sense that it’s levity is entirely manufactured. A performance.

It had been like that between them for real at the beginning, both of them still unsure of each other, pantomiming something resembling a sitcom and playing the real feeling filled in as it went. Thankfully, it did, but the theatrics still lend themselves better to specific conversation.

“Well, if you’re sorry, I suppose I can forgive you! But this isn’t going to look good on your employee review, y’know. I’ll have to bring it up with HR.”

“I’m sure Charley can find it in his heart to forgive me, too.”

“He’s a gentle soul.” She nods.

“You should come watch the trial on Monday, I think it’d be good for you to see.”

“Oh? And why’s that?” Trucy doesn’t like the courthouse. Daddy knows that. She never comes when he goes to use the library there. She also hates, hates the idea of watching her daddy sit in the defendant’s chair not knowing if he’s ever going to come home again. He knows that too.

“Well, there are always interesting things to learn during a court trial. Plus, having you there would help me out a lot!” I need you to do something for me. She reads through the tone into his words’ real meaning. Her stomach clenches. A favor he can’t just outright ask for, not over the phone in the detention center, where every word would be recorded.

“Oh, daddy, no! I’m a magician, not a lawyer, although I understand the confusion.” She drapes a hand over her eyes in faux anguish. “I simply couldn’t, it isn’t my stage.”

“I disagree. I think it’s a perfect stage. Lawyers need cheering up too, you know! Back when I was a lawyer, I used to get really stressed out during cases like these. I bet one of your tricks would do the job.”

“Well what sort of trick do you want me to do?”

“Do you remember the first trick you ever did for me? It was the day we met, at the courthouse. You pulled a piece of paper out of your hat and gave it to me.”

“Yes,” she chirps, forcing a vibrant bubble into her voice. It feels like a pile of rocks in her gut and her pulse starts to quicken. “Of course I remember!”

“I bet if you did that trick again, it’d cheer up the whole courtroom! I bet I’d win my case in a heartbeat.”

----------

Her legs feel like jelly by the time the bus drops her off at the stop near the office. Daddy had kept on like that, loaded phrasing and a lopsided smile as he laced vapid banter with instructions. With warnings. She walks into the storage closet and grabs a deck of cards - one of his, the same style they use at the club, not hers for her tricks. Abruptly, she has a moment of panic as she realizes she’s not even sure what color she’s supposed to use, but then, just as fast, she forces her head clear and just grabs one of each.

They’re unopened. This makes it a cinch to find the card she’s looking for. Her stomach flips.

The worst part isn’t even what she’s doing. The worst part is that she’s doing it at all. Daddy knows well what this situation is making her feel and he’s asking her to do it anyway.

The only explanation left: he’s completely out of options.

She pulls her gloves off and grabs a needle from her sewing supplies. She pricks her finger, and lets a drop fall onto each ace.

----------

#ace attorney #i literally love them os much theyre perfect #daddy and daughter of all time

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settle-down-frohike · 5 years

Note

fic trope mashup: 38, 56

Spoilers: Redux II

Rating: R for language

38. Grief Fic 56. Awful first meeting, fill in the blanks fic

Part 2 of this (sort of a fleshing out of this) Sorry this one took me so long!! Tagging @today-in-fic and @edierone

Two nurses and a very insistent Maggie help him from the floor, huddling and fussing over him appropriately, his ears vaguely registering Scully’s voice in the background insisting that he go down to the ER to get checked out. Christ, but it was good to hear her scolding. He wished he could faint every day of his life from now on if only to hear her bark, “Mulder!!” over and over again. Voice meant breath and breath meant she yet lived. She lived. She was going to live. Isn’t that what she had meant?

They finally all agreed on allowing him a cup of juice and a cookie to bring his blood sugar to an acceptable level, provided he stay put in a chair keeping his head between his legs, which suited him just fine being that he couldn’t bring himself to meet her eyes. He had no intention of making a sobbing spectacle of himself with Bill glowering in the corner like a petulant teenager.

What passed for a cookie was bland and dry but downed easily enough with the “juice” that tasted more like a melted popsicle than an actual orange. Slowly his racing heart began to recede to an acceptable rate and the sweat coating his body began to dry, leaving him sticky and chilled. Daring a glance up, he found Maggie at Scully’s bedside, kissing her daughter’s knuckles and thanking God, oblivious to Scully’s sobering definitions of what remission really meant, that the cancer was not gone in fact but dormant. The Devil would not be defeated, only smothered for the time being. According to their faith, Satan could only truly lose his hold on this world when a Savior had been born and sacrificed to one day resurrect from the dead, eventually claiming the victory in the Last and Holy war on evil. He knew of no such savior. Not yet, not in this story.

Time had been bought nonetheless, and as for Mulder, he could only thank whomever had been listening to his offer of sacrifice in the chapel. He would meet his end in exchange for this charity, of that he was sure. If it be tomorrow, he was ready. Samantha was alive, albeit a stranger to him, and Scully’s beautiful heart was still beating. He could be done with this life in a moment knowing those two things. Til death do we part…his left ring finger faintly tingled, sympathetic nervous system recalling Maggie’s thinly veiled hint at her understanding of the order of things.

He shook his head against maudlin thoughts, reaching desperately within himself to try and find a smile or at least a joke that Bill might find inappropriate given the circumstances. Finding none and feeling suddenly claustrophobic, he mumbled an excuse to use the men’s room, feeling rather than seeing Scully’s attempts to make eye contact. He felt her reaching for him, and he wasn’t yet strong enough to be any sort of tether, so he ran. Ever selfish, and wasn’t that just like him. Maggie was joyously sobbing on her phone to their priest it seemed, blubbering something about miracles and answered prayers. Bill continued to play the part of sullen watchdog, and though he would never admit it to the towering Irishman, Mulder was grateful. However misguided his actions, he loved his sister. And maybe he was right to protect her from this ominous, looming form dressed in a suit. This fallen angel who seemed to have ushered in a good portion of their family’s sufferings.

His legs still felt limp and toneless as he searched the hallway for any sign of a restroom, which mercifully ended up being just past the nurse’s station. Before he could truly embarrass himself once again he made it to the sink and began to splash generous amounts of icy tap over his cheeks and around his neck. His heart had begun to thud again suspiciously and he had hoped he could ward off another attack of the vapors. A look into the mirror revealed glassy eyes and ashen skin, and he chastised himself inwardly for his inability to pull it the fuck together. His heart continued to pick up its pace, and yet he could not physically draw in enough oxygen to pacify its need. A sudden painful, unrelenting tension in his chest began to build until he could only collapse back against the outside of a stall, desperately tearing at his collar and tie in search of freedom from a sense of helplessness and terror that had rapidly begun to consume him, making his vision swim and the floor seem to tilt on its axis.

A hand on his shoulder made him flail out reflexively, “DON’T TOUCH ME!!” he yelled at the beige blur hovering over him.

“Dude are you ok?” he could hear it say, barely able to make out shaggy brown hair and a stout form in what looked like a uniform.

“I’m fine…” he gasped, “I just can’t breathe. My chest—“

“I’m gonna get a nurse man hold on—“

“NO! No nurse…” Oh God he was dizzy. He was going to be sick. This oaf was probably going to have the calvary with a crash cart in here at any second and Scully had seen enough of his antics for one day. God please, just give her 24 hours of respite. He could die tomorrow he promised but give her today.

“My chest…I just need to breathe. I can’t….my chest hurts…I just need to breathe…” he pulled futilely on the reigns of his galloping, runaway pulse, unable to command the beast that continued to carry him to a sure and humiliating death.

“I can’t do this..I can’t do this…I can’t…’ the words tumbled from his mouth, unbidden. The grip on his shoulder tightened, and he swatted weakly at the offending gesture.

“Hey man I think it’s a panic attack. I get’m all the time. Listen to me you gotta breathe in your nose, dude. Breathe big. Big breaths. Focus on the floor, man. Look at the tiles. Focus on the still stuff.”

Infinitesimally, the grout, then the grid like pattern of the floor came into focus, as did the owner of the west coast valley-guy accent. A janitor. Name tag: Todd…Young. No… Not young… Thirties…Flunky..Another wave of nausea washed over him as he watched the other man rise and swing the door open, then closed.

“I put my sign on the door. Just take a minute man. It’s cool.”

As the room around him expanded and stilled, the hysteria began to abate. His throat began to close around a heavy lump and stung behind his jaw, his mouth watering. He clenched his teeth and refused to cry on the grimy floor of a public restroom in front of an equally grimy guy who just so happened to have missed his calling as a therapist. With some effort, he swallowed the tears down along with his insulting first impressions. Todd sat cross-legged next to him, and remained otherwise silent for a time, allowing Mulder to finally reach some form of stasis.

“You ok dude? Man I thought you were having a heart attack. Guess I made the right call, he chuckled soberly, “Shit. I’da lost my job. You aren’t gonna die on me anyway are you?”

Mulder chuffed, “Not today.” He’d managed finally not to gulp down air. Todd nodded and added distantly, “Cancer ward, man. It happens a lot here.”

Now Mulder was truly remorseful for his earlier aggression. This guy had probably seen a lot of grief in these halls. He wondered about this Good Samaritan. Probably tossed aside by most, and yet a blessing to the injured who happened along his path. Todd. He would not forget his name.

Feeling sufficiently contrite and knowing his extended absence from Scully’s room would not go unnoticed, he gathered himself from the floor and picked up his tie to tuck in his pocket. Whatever words of thanks he could have formed during another moment when his wits were about him, they weren’t forthcoming right now. Todd heaved himself up as well, and went to retrieve his cart. One job finished, another to start. Mulder understood the feeling. It never really does end. He strode slowly from the restroom, leaving Todd to his duties, and the festering source of his malaise bubbled up like a bratty child, refusing to be ignored.

Samantha. The feel of her snatching her hand from his had been akin to a slice to his palm. Quickly over and done, leaving a gaping wound destined to scar. He had failed and yet he hadn’t. She was returned to him and yet rejected their reunion. He had her back and yet had lost her all over again.

Scully. Alive and warm and…incomprehensibly lovely… and doctoring him from a hospital bed. He was so sure that call had meant the end. And yet they had been granted, by some deity or malevolent force, another chance. A life to live or to barter for some future price, he had still to know. Why can’t he smile? Why can’t he be happy? He’d gotten what he wanted, hadn’t he? The questions presented themselves in his mind in Scully’s voice, not tauntin exactly, but coaxing him into focus on the here and now, on the what is, and not what might be. And wouldn’t that be just like her…Is just like her…because… she’s okay. Today, right now. She’s okay and in the next room to his left. The idea seemed so ridiculously improbable at that moment that he began to giggle, manically at first, then fitfully, finally collapsing into full blown sobs on the bench just outside her door. Hands hiding his face, head between his knees, just as he’d been instructed. For a moment, he had release.

#myfic #prompts #asks #fic trope mashup #i dont know why but i pictured jack black as todd lol #maybe oneday i will finish this series #i think part 1 was like a year ago

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sweetener-forever · 6 years

Text

The Claw Machine Incident

Rating: T

Characters: Kaminari Denki, Sero Hanta, Ashido Mina, Uraraka Ochako, Midoriya Izuku, and Iida Tenya (other characters are mentioned briefly and did not have speaking lines).

Pairings: (Background Uraraka/Midoriya/Iida)

Tags: This is Kaminari makes mistakes the fic and Sero aids and abets in stuffed animal theft

Summary: Kaminari finds a way to cheat around rip-off claw machines using his quirk and ends up with more than he bargained for.

AO3 Link

Kaminari stands among hundreds of little and small stuffed animals alike, there are gift cards, and small electronics thrown in once in a while as well among the fluffed furs, but they are few and far in between when compared to the sheer amount of plushies. He is stunned and in horror of the monster he has become. Sero is off to the side and bent over in his laughter, pounding on the side of the now empty claw machine as tears stream down his face.

And all this bullshit started just because Kaminari was mad that one of the claw machine games had stolen his dollar (and he was so close to winning this one small stuffed animal for a cute girl). Once she had moved on he had given the machine a little vengeful shock, nothing like the shocks he usually used on training robots while in class, but enough to make the little lights on the machine flicker.

The board then read that he had 2 more plays.

Kaminari was pretty sure he had shorted out the board, but attempted to move the claw anyway and was surprised when it did actually move. He used the last 2 plays to win that small keychain stuffed animal and hung it from his belt loop like a war spoil. Then, just to make sure it wasn't a fluke, he tried it again.

It worked a second time.

Which is exactly how Kaminari figured out that he could actually influence claw machine games with his quirk.

Kaminari does not have the self-control that Iida does in not using his quirk for his own gain and he has never claimed to. Although he does promise himself not to abuse it or do it too often (for fear of arousing suspicion in the arcade staff and because it makes him feel bad if he doesn't spend at least a little bit of money on the claw games).

Thus far he has only used it here and there on items that he really wanted or he thought would impress a girl. Justified it to himself as training for his quirk and thought it would never come up as something that would become a serious problem.

Until one fateful weekend outing with his classmates at a new arcade.

~OwO~

"Well, that sucks." Sero sighs and slumps back from the arcade claw machine game he was playing, the "Sorry! No Prize Today!" screen flashing up for the 16th time in a row.

The "claw" game is one of the newer ones where instead of the traditional claw, the player would attempt to stick a stopper through a hole and push the prize down into the prize collection zone. The bigger the prize, the smaller the hole, and Sero has been trying for one of the higher valued gift cards pretty much since they arrived. Victory is no closer than it had been when he started.

"Oh dude, are you still playing that dumb claw game? Man, it's been literally almost an entire hour." Kaminari has rematerialized by Sero's side where he had previously abandoned his friend after getting bored of watching him make the smallest adjustments to the stopper and delaying actually pushing the button about an hour ago.

Now he has returned with a sash of tickets and a drink of some kind. Like a fancy and gloating king because he can get the tickets he wants, but Sero can't get one stupid gift card.

Instead of dignifying Kaminari's rhetorical question with an answer, Sero just pops another token into the claw machine and begins his process all over again. He can at least be thankful that this machine doesn't have a time limit on it like some of the others as he slowly positions the stopper millimeter by millimeter over the minuscule hole.

He knows now that he has to win the prize this time or Kaminari will never let him live it down that he has wasted the majority of his time at the arcade (and money) trying to win a gift card. And Sero is feeling pretty confident about his chances as he examines the machine from all angles, making sure that the stopper will reach the hole in the perfect place and push in rather than bouncing off lamely like the other 16 times.

So when he presses the go button it is with the utmost reassurance that that gift card is his. That his plan is flawless and there is no way he could have miscalculated this time around. He has learned from his errors of the past and will be victorious.

The stopper reaches the hole, it enters about half-way, and then gets stuck at the wider base of the stopper. It is with horror and anguish that Sero watches the stopper withdrawal from the hole and the game flashes its Sorry! No Prize Today! screen like a taunt from god itself.

Sero slides from his standing position to one on his knee before the claw machine that has bested him, hands limp and lifelessly hanging from the controls. If one were to look too closely they would see the shimmer of tears in his eyes.

"These things are lame rip-offs. They never put enough force behind the stopper, so you can't actually get the prize." Kaminari has absolutely zero flare for dramatics and it shows as he sets his drink aside and brushes Sero's defeated hands away from the game controls to take his place.

"Then why are you playing it?" Sero asks from where he has made himself comfortable laying on his side next to the claw machine.

"Because I have a secret weapon, oh-limp-noodled friend of mine." Kaminari twirls a token around his fingers with a smug grin and inserts it into the game with a flourish.

Sero isn't exactly impressed and contemplating letting Bakugou blow him up in their next sparring practice when he hears it. The sweet melodious sound of the winner screen coming from the claw machine.

He sits up so fast that he nearly knocks Kaminari's legs out from underneath him.

"What the hell! I've been working on that machine for hours!" He is pretty sure that he can feel Iida's disapproving stare on the back of his head from where the class president is sitting with his datemates across the arcade, but Sero can barely bring himself to care when Kaminari is holding the exact gift card he would have gladly given his right leg to have.

"Cool, right? It turns out if I focus just a little bit of electricity into the system I can manipulate some parts of the claw games." Kaminari is just barely visibly excited, trying to keep himself from shouting and gesturing wildly must be quite the challenge from how he is hunched over the machine and staring down at Sero.

"You're using your quirk. Kami, that's going to break the game and then you're going to have to pay to replace it and Aizawa will skin you to make an example of you to the rest of the class." Sero's excitement at the gift card is dampened by the fact that Kaminari has apparently been cheating at claw games and is likely going to break one in the future during the process of doing so. It isn't something he really wants to be around for when it happens, but just knows that he will be.

"Pssh. I'm not going to break one! I've done this tons of times and they're just fine afterward." Kaminari waves a dismissive hand in Sero's face and holds out the gift card to him.

"Do you want it or do you want me to put it back into the machine?" Sero's morals are strong, but few in number and he isn't the least bit ashamed when he snatches the gift card out of Kaminari's hand and sticks it into his pocket.

"How does using your quirk to win a game even work?" Sero decided that if he was going to accept the gift card Kaminari won then he might as well humor his friend in the process.

"I just let out a few volts and it overloads the system briefly. Here, I'll show you!" Kaminari pulls out a few tokens from his pockets and sets them on the side of one of the stuffed animal games, similar to the one with the gift cards that Sero was just playing.

Sero is paying attention this time when Kaminari puts the token in and aims the stopper carefully over one of the bigger stuffed animal prizes, then when he hits the go button he sees the lights on the machine flicker briefly. The stopper goes into the hole-

And of course right when Kaminari is making a point it stops completely.

The game lights go out and the stopper remains frozen where it is. Both boys stand briefly in frozen terror as the game resets itself and the stopper withdrawals without ever dropping the prize.

Sero breathes out a laugh on his sigh of relief and absolutely relishes in Kaminari's mixed emotion face as he stares at the machine with an open jaw.

"Performance issues?" Sero cracks up a little more as Kaminari swings his head away from the machine to glare at him.

"That literally has never happened before, what the hell was that!?" This honestly should have been the biggest and most crimson red flag that Kaminari could have ever needed that everything he is currently doing may not be the best idea. In fact, this might be the worst idea that he has ever had. But who is he to listen to common sense even on a good day?

Kaminari picks up another token without consulting his brain or Sero and shoves it into the machine. This time he gives it a little more juice and the machine stopper completely enters the hole. Kaminari is ready to be smug about how he was right and that he is the king of games, except the machine lets out its defeat music and a Sorry! No Prize Today! pops up. The stopper pulls back and no stuffed animal is released.

Sero's howls of amusement are enough to fuel Kaminari's already bad idea into becoming a worse idea as he inserts yet another token into the machine and adds a few more volts to his original careful measurement. Again the stopper enters the hole, but no prize is dropped despite this because it stops just a millimeter away from pushing the stuffed animal off.

Against all better judgement and logic available to him: he does it again.

Which is when he finally gets his wish. In abundance.

With a jolt big enough that it is usually reserved for training with his classmates, Kaminari finally gets the stuffed animal prize to drop.

As well as every other prize in this machine and the two machines next to it.

They cascade out of the door flaps to pile at his feet like the spoils of a hard-fought war against a particularly rowdy enemy. Except the war was for nothing and the spoils are the corpses of his own bad decisions.

Sero is completely gone at this point and it is a wonder they haven't attracted the attention of anyone else in their class with how loudly he is carrying on. Laughter loud enough that some kids with their parents are being politely steered away.

And Kaminari is at a loss of what he should do now. This is not what he had intended. He had just wanted to show Sero his cool trick, win a cute stuffed animal, and then maybe give it to a cuter girl so she would like him.

Finally, Kaminari's brain reboots as the claw machines finish dumping their prizes out at his feet.

"DUDE! WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THESE?!" His voice hasn't actually left the whisper pitch, but it is a panicked whisper yell as he stares down at his stuffed animal and miscellaneous horde with dismay. This at least seems to finally sober Sero up and he wipes a tear away from his eyes.

"I have no idea, I seriously didn't think you would fuck up this badly, honestly." Sero also seems to have the dawning realization that he has aided in committing a crime of stuffed animal theft and now there is no way out for him except for through. Or abandoning Kaminari to his fate, which he only briefly considers before deciding to stick it out.

"SHIT, GET MINA!" Sero has no idea why Kaminari thinks Mina will be much help, but he obeys and manages to only scatter a few of the smaller stuffed animals as he rushes to get Mina.

Mina for one is delighted as soon as she is lead to Kaminari and his pile of fluffy mistakes.

"Oh. My. God. You dumped the claw machine!?" She squeals from behind her hand and doesn't even try to hide her glee and amusement from the distressed Kaminari.

"I didn't mean to! I was just trying to get the one stuffed animal and it was being stubborn! Now help me find something to do with all these!" Kaminari seriously hasn't moved an inch from where he is nearly knee deep in his pile, clutching at the controls of the machine anxiously.

"The answer is obvious, we're taking all these suckers home!" Mina wastes absolutely no time in bending down and gathering as many of the stuffed animals into her arms as she can. Which amazingly barely puts a dent in the pile.

Equipped with no better ideas (or any ideas at all), the other two join her and soon they were all standing around with arms piled high with stuffed animals, and a giant mound still at their feet.

"Oh, this is too many stuffed animals..." Mina's muffled words sound entirely too sad for what the situation calls for. More about being sad that she doesn't have big enough arms for carrying the stuffed animals than about there being too many stuffed animals in the first place.

"Okay, okay, I'm going to call in reinforcements!" Mina drops her armful of stuffed animals and quickly gets to typing on her phone.

Her message simply reads: "SOS. Major stuffed animal emergency! DON'T TELL IIDA!!!"

Predictably since she sent it to the girl's group chat, and Kirishima, Momo and Jirou show up first. Jirou has to lean against Momo to keep from losing her balance as she holds back from laughing herself silly at seeing Kaminari.

Knee deep in stuffed animals, a face of regret, and arms loaded with his furry loot.

Uraraka, on the other hand, loses her shit in a completely different way when she shows up next, eyes blown up as wide as they could possibly go and practically sparkling as she looks over the sea of stuffed animals. She turns to Midoriya (who had joined her out of curiosity as to what a stuffed animal emergency would consist of) and just whispers a few words:

"Deku, we have to take them all immediately."

It's decided then that everyone will take as many stuffed animals as they can hold back to the dorms and will be allowed to keep everything they grab. (Sero calls dibs on most of the gift cards to buy his silence.)

Kirishima does eventually show up, with Bakugou in tow, and immediately agrees to help with the stuffed animal smuggling because he is a ride or die friend (and he may want one of the large stuffed sharks because it made him laugh when Hagakure said they looked alike).

Bakugou takes one look at the crimes being committed and walks away.

"You losers can get arrested by arcade security, but leave me out of it." (He gets at least 7 texts from everyone calling him a loser over pictures of their various stuffed animals on the main group chat.)

With everyone's combined efforts they do manage to get all the prizes off of the floor and make for the exit immediately while the other arcade patrons are none the wiser.

A plan which is foiled rather quickly when Iida stops them at the entrance because he was missing both of his datemates and wondering where they had slipped off to.

"Deku, Raka, where are you going? And where did you get all those stuffed animals?" Iida stares down at his two datemates completely baffled by their prize laden arms.

If an outsider was so inclined they could probably see the sudden sweat that breaks out on both of their foreheads.

"Um, well you see, we found them."

"Found them where?" Iida places his hands on his hips and examines the two of them critically.

While they are being targeted the rest of the smugglers escape. Abandoning them to their fate.

"On the floor..." Uraraka responds, clutching the stuffed animals closer to her chest.

"You just found them on the floor?"

"Uh-huh?"

"Then we should take them up to the arcade counter, as we do not want anyone to be missing out on their prizes!" They are both pretty sure that Iida has busted them on some kind of nefarious plan, although he himself may be unaware as to what exactly he has busted. Although it is nearly impossible to get anything past the class president whether he knows the circumstances or not. For he is truly like a crime bloodhound.

"Well, you see-" Midoriya doesn't even get a chance to get out his lame excuse before Uraraka just bolts.

Iida is stunned, to say the least, to see his girlfriend booking it with an arm full of stuffed animals. She practically flies out of the arcade and then uses her quirk to launch herself over the fence surrounding the building before landing on the other side and running.

Never before have either of her boyfriends seen her move so fast, outside of training, willingly.

Midoriya himself inches away from Iida as his boyfriend stands staring after their girlfriend disappearing into the distance, and makes his own getaway before Iida has a chance to finish processing what exactly he had just witnessed.

At the end of the day everyone became several stuffed animals richer, Aizawa got a bribe in the way of a small stuffed cat (he didn't ask where it came from), and Kaminari learned to never tamper with stubborn prize machines again.

#My Hero Academia #BNHA #My Fanfic #Kaminari Denki #Sero Hanta

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optimistredsox · 1 year

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27 Sep, TOR @ BOS, 5-0, loss

Well, fuck. We lost our last home game of the year in pretty dull fashion. We scraped together three hits. Glasnow was irksomely dominant (almost as irksome as my autocorrect insisting I want to type Glasgow) and Brayan Bello’s fatigue at being the only consistent starter from beginning to end this season showed as he allowed all five Rays runs over his six innings. And there we are. Doomed to a losing season even in the unlikely event of sweeping the Orioles over the next four games. That would still be pretty cool. Anyway. Bright sides?

Alex Cora showed his class when he took Justin Turner, our favourite Ginger Gandalf, out of the game and let the fans show their appreciation for his work this season. Dude did a helluva job. He got a well-deserved ovation. He’s been a bright spot this season and whenever the Sox were defying odds and somehow snatching the odd victory from the jaws of defeat, he often had something to do with it. Thank you, Ginger Gandalf. You made this year more fun. You even played second base a couple of times.

Hey, maybe we will sweep the Orioles at Camden Yards to finish the season! Wouldn’t that be hilarious?!

#boston red sox #red sox #boston

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cancerianprincess · 6 years

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Birkin Bag (4)

|Part Three|

Summary: Erik finds out he might’ve rubbed off on his best friend a tad too much and that she’s really with the shits

Warning: Language, Angst, Kidnap Mention(s), Violence

A/N: I apologize for this taking so long (because whew chile....life) but other than that...I hope you guys are still with this series especially after this part because y’all just might hate me afterwards and that you enjoy 🙂🙃🙂🙃

~~~~

“I bought my bitch a Birkin Bag so she could hold my fucking strap..”

____

The silence that hung in the air was so excruciatingly thick, even a chainsaw would’ve had trouble slicing through it had it been a tangible object. It had been that way the entire ride back into the city, and remained like that even as you currently sat on the floor of your master bathroom, tending to Erik’s wounds. It wasn’t that you didn’t want to talk to him, it was more of a matter of figuring out how you would go about navigating the debrief between you and your best friend.

Because, okay sure, you had gotten Erik out of the warehouse alive. And yeah, you showed that bootleg goon squad that you and yours were not to be fucked with. But at what cost did all those victories come with if it meant the strongest person you knew, appeared to be steadily unraveling right before your very eyes?

*******

“Nigga I thought I asked you a question.” Every word spoken was drenched in venom when an explanation for Trey’s presence wasn’t provided, causing a slight twitch in his smug demeanor, but not enough to allude to any sort of surrender.

“C’mon shawty don’t act like that. It’s been what…?” A beat. “Almost a year since I last saw you, and this the ‘hey’ I get?” The defeated shake of his head contradicted the dastardly chuckle that emitted lowly from his throat, rolling altogether to only make the taunting worse.

“Yeah, fucking ten months too soon,” you spat.

*******

Alright, so cue the record scratch. You and Trey hadn’t exactly ‘dated’, so technically he wasn’t your ex-boyfriend, but there was undoubtedly, and unfortunately, some history amongst the two of you. In all honesty, Trey was just some dude you had been smashing a while back and was tolerable enough to keep around from time to time. Though given the stunt he was presently pulling would make one think you and him had some Will-and-Jada type of love going on at one point.

Nevertheless though, neither a title or lackthereof had stopped the demented reject from being any less problematic, obviously given the situation at hand. Nor had it stopped you from bringing down Hell on Earth on him and his psychotic ass sidekick in order to rescue Erik from their clutches.

*******

Once you were positive you’d seen Jay take his last breath, you finally felt like you could release the one you’d been holding for the last two and a half days. The second you were sure that all signs of an immediate threat were gone, you practically tripped over your own two feet racing back to Erik. The distance between you and him seemed endless, almost mimicking those dramatic slow-mo scenes often seen in movies.

Zooming past Tracee’s motionless body sprawled across the cinder block floor, you reached Erik at last after what felt like centuries apart.

“Erik!?” you exclaimed trying to lull him from the comatose state he was in. “E, c’mon we gotta go, alright?? We gotta get you out of here, before he comes back, okay? Stevens, c’mon we gotta go, NOW!”

But whatever the reason, Erik seemed deaf to every word that left your lips. You ceased momentarily in your moderate slaps and shaking of trying to get his attention to cut Erik out the ropes that still had him bound to the chair. Once the last of the material gave way, the prince nearly fell to the floor instead of holding himself up, causing you to catch him just in the nick of time.

“Erik?! E, answer me! C’mon, N’Jadaka, pleaseee!”

Nothing was working, however. The broken man continued to stare straight through you with glossed over eyes as if you weren’t on your knees right in front of him, begging frantically for him to come back to reality.

For him to come back to you.

The very last attempt you gave was more for your benefit than Erik’s, and completely of the rhetorical nature. Cupping one side of his face, you searched for any readable sign that he couldn’t give verbally. With tears pooling in your eyes, you muttered softly in a voice beginning to crack with emotion, “Erik, baby...what did they do to you?”

Head dropping in defeat, you were about a millisecond away from throwing in the towel and opting to drag Erik out of the building by his shoulders-you were just that desperate. That was, until you felt a nudge against the palm of your hand.

“N-Niya?”

Erik had awoken from the self-induced trance and folded into your touch. Your gaze shot up at the sound of your dearest friend’s voice, and instantly came face-to-face with the sight of him finally peering at you rather than through you. A wave mixed of shock and relief briefly washed over you as you engulfed him in what might have qualified as the tightest bear hug in all of history.

If it wasn’t for him issuing a groggy “what’re you doing here”, you probably would’ve stayed wrapped around Erik forever over getting back to the mission at hand. Assisting him to his feet, you hoisted Erik up and draped one of his arms across your shoulders to support him as you guided both him and yourself out of the warehouse and towards the safety of your car.

*******

Erik flinched from the sting of the peroxide being applied to the cuts on his face, causing your focus to come back to the task. Your mind had gone into overdrive thinking about all that had just ensued, specifically what caused Erik to come back to his senses at the precise moment he did. Granted, it could’ve been the tender touch to his cheek and never before used pet name but I digress.

“Sorry,” you offered softly for being careless with his injuries.

Erik said nothing. He merely cut a glance your way prompting you that it was fine. But you felt otherwise. How was any factor of this situation fine, despite how big or small it was? The answer was simple: it wasn’t. As your former boy toy, Trey had been your responsibility, meaning that all of this was your fault.

Which is exactly why your mouth inadvertently started inducing an uncontrollable word vomit before your brain even knew what was happening.

“Erik, I am...so,so sorry,” you let out in a stifled sob. “F-For everything. For all of this. All of this is my fault. All that phony mess Trey was droning on about w-with you and Lynda, I should’ve known his ass was crazy. Even before then, when I started fucking with him I s-should’ve cut him off right after that. As soon as I realized he was je-”

The end of your sentence got snagged in your throat, causing Erik’s gaze to whip wildly to yours, searching your face with an expectant expression. Still, you caught and corrected yourself, quickly amending the broken statement. Before letting the thought get too far out in the open, you went on rambling so the subject didn’t have the opportunity to be tossed up for a separate debate.

“-as soon as I realized he had some real issues,” you went on. “I’m the one to blame for this happening to you. Them stalking you, snatching you from your place, abusing you; if you never became my best friend, none of this would be happe-”

“Aniya, stop it.”

Erik’s voice boomed off the bathroom walls more forcefully than he’d intended it to be, but either way he was successful in silencing you. He could tell by your long-winded spiel that you were you trying to act like the fluke in your words never transpired, and was willing to let it slide. But the minute you even suggested that his and your friendship had been the casualty among all this, he had to draw the line. He refused to let you believe you had to bear the burden of sins that weren’t yours. Sins from that had sprouted from his past.

“Listen,” he began. “Quit blaming yourself for what went down, alright? This was all on me, not you.”

“Erik, what? Cut it out,” you snipped at him, frustrated that he wasn’t allowing you take the responsibility that was supposedly yours. Dousing another cotton ball in the medical liquid, you made to resume caring for his contusions. “You weren’t the one sleeping with the nigga,” your voice gradually trailing off.

“Yeah?” Erik retorted bitterly. “Well you weren’t the one who murdered the woman carrying your unborn child.”

The words spoken made your whole body lurch to a halt. Your hand hung frozen, leaving the cotton ball suspended in mid-air. As many times as they had echoed in your skull in the short span of time, they just didn’t seem to register properly, the shock was that great. And it became increasingly evident that there was no lie told in what was said, given away by the rigid line Erik’s jaw had set into immediately after revealing what might have been his darkest secret to date.

Convinced it would never subside on its own, you eventually willed yourself to speak to be certain there was no mistake in what you heard.

But it only seemed to get worse when Erik affirmed it, through clenched teeth and staring straight ahead, by saying, “Lynda...she was two months pregnant when I shot her.”

~~~~

|Part Five|

~Taglist~

@iamrheaspeaks @princesskillmonger @eriknutinthispoosy @wheredidallthedreamersgo @sonofnjobu @bidibidibombaclaat @turn-thy-paige @theunsweetenedtruth @chaneajoyyy @madamslayyy @mareethequeen @marvelpotterlove @ayellepea @another-imaginesblog @pandigirl11 @tiava143 @hold-me-like-a-heart-beat @allhailnjadaka @muse-of-mbaku @okoyesbabe @purple-apricots @youreadthatright @eriks-girl @erikslulbaby @amethyst1993 @wakanda-inspired @halcyonscry @laketaj24 @bartierbakarimobisson @pandigirl11

#erik x reader #erik killmonger fic #black panther #birkin bag #u guessed it #mini series #cancerianpricess #wakanda #Erik Stevens #erik x aniya #redeemed!erik #erik killmonger #N’Jadaka

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animebw · 6 years

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Binge-Watching: Yu Yu Hakusho, Day 6, Episodes 37-42

Dark Tournament, Round 3! In which we face our toughest challenge yet and the girls get a chance to kick all the ass.

A Brutal Trial

Holy Jesus, this was an intense set of episodes. Not only were Yusuke and company forced to fight right after their last round, they were knocked down to just two team members to take down an entire team of five. And the paces he and Karama went through to achieve victory against these impossible odds the the continued attempts of the committee to screw them over were some of the most brutal fights in the show so far.

Karama in particular has earned my respect a thousandfold. Not only does he manage to overcome the loss of his limbs to take his first opponent down with his fabulous hair whip (seriously, that was fucking awesome), he fucking plants that death seed attack in himself to take down his second foe once his spirit energy is closed off. At this point, I’m, just gonna have to give up on choosing a favorite from among our central four, they’ve all kicked so much ass so definitively.

And Yusuke, holy crap, you’ve gotten stronger! Watching him pummel the shit out of the guy who attacked Karama in his sleep was hella cathartic, but that was nothing compared to watching him pull off Genkai’s Spirit Wave to finally take down that wind master. I get the feeling that Toguro’s gonna be pretty satisfied once he finally gets to face the spirit detective head-on.

But the mvp of this round is unquestionably Kuwabara, who fought through his crippling injuries by sacrificing his own life force until he’d recovered enough power to finish the round and snatch a victory from the jaws of defeat. I didn’t even mind that his spurt of energy was caused by his (still nonsensically all-consuming) crush on Yukina, I was just glad he won.

By now, Team Yusuke has fought their way through years worth of dastardly villains and unfair rule-bending, and they still haven’t crumbled yet. Here’s to more intense challenges to come.

Jin

Speaking of their opponents, let’s talk about Jin the Wind Master for a second, because he’s continuing this arc’s trend of Yusuke facing off against opponents with whom he manages to find a kind of mutual respect (and also have ridiculous accents. Seriously, this guy was so fucking stereotypically Irish I half-expected him to start passing out bowls of Lucky Charms). His team was a group of ninja who’ve spent their entire lives working in the shadows to keep peace in the spirit world, but now they want to come into the light, and they have to take ownership of the island they’re fighting on if they win the tournament. It’s another very Togashi clash of ideals, except in this case, Yusuke kind of sympathizes with him. Both of them come from similar animating philosophies of not wanting to be tied down by rules and teachers, preferring to blaze their own trails through life. He sums his philosophy up well with this line: ”Better be messy on your own than right under someone’s watch!” That’s a line of thinking that Yusuke can really relate to, so even though he takes him down in the end, it’s clear they’re parting on good terms. Jin, you were an incredibly fun opponent, and I hope your brief moment of peace in the sky is a prelude to your eventual happiness.

Who Run The World? Girls

You know what I like? When a dude-centric series remembers that it’s okay to let the ladies break loose and kick some ass as well. Shizuru, Keiko, and Botan have such a wonderful dynamic together, so watching them all team up with Yukina to break back into the stadium was a blast. Shizuru, in particular, was an absolute font of badassery, spouting off quips and one-liners with the ferocity one might expect more from a Marvel hero these days than a woman from an 80s manga. Keep it up, show.

Just no more pervert shit, okay? None of that.

More Cat Lady Being Awesome

But as much as I love all that stuff, Cat Lady Announcer continues to be my absolute favorite thing in this series. Not only does her voice actor continuously deliver some of the best punchline deliveries among the cast, but it’s clear that she’s not just a demon stooge running on the same corrupt rules as everyone else. Once the committee starts screwing with the tournament to disadvantage Yusuke’s team, she’s one of the loudest, most vocal voices of opposition, even going so far as to step in front of an insanely dangerous muscle man to keep Karama safe. I could sing her praises all day, but I think it would be more effective to let her speak for herself:

-”You boys are having way too much fun, okay?”

-”This girl’s really wishing she brought a pair of insulated tights!”

-”I sure know that facial expression: pure, lovely, excruciating agony!”

-”There’s the audience participation that makes the dark tournament so special! I’ll bet any of you who survived that attack will remember it for years to come!”

-”Sorry, but at a punch party like that, a girl can’t help but dance!”

-”I know I’m the announcer, but I can’t help a little sidetracking!”

-”I’m going to take the count now, so make sure you tell me how I’m doing it wrong, okay?”

-And, as she performed the aforementioned step-in-front-of-scary-muscle-guy-for-Karama’s-sake: ”I’m all for extreme pain and torture, you disgusting horse, but this guy’s not even awake to enjoy it!”

I don’t care if this show goes to shit by the end, as long as it keeps bringing me more Cat Lady. She’s the fucking best.

Odds and Ends

-”Only an amateur depends on arms and legs for victory.” Karama, you badass motherfucker, I could kiss you.

-”Running like a baby is perfectly brave if the odds are too tough!” Koenma is wiser than I gave him credit for.

-Karama’s okay, right?” “There’s a killer plant growing through his body, what do you think?” Shizuru needs more screen time.

-Seriously though, WHY ARE YOU SO FUCKING IRISH

-”One of these days, I’ll fight someone who talks like a normal person!” Yusuke is so done

-Have I mention how much I love it when Kuwabara and Botan interact?

-”I swear, can we not have just one easy moment of positivity around here?!” Botan, you’re amazing.

-Karama, watching Hiei and Kuwabara argue: “To think they could one day be in-laws.”

-”The only difference with human girls is how hard we kick!” SHIZURU YOU ROCK

The tournament continues. Will Yusuke be able to defeat Toguro when they finally clash? Will the committee keep screwing with his team? Will I ever care about Kuwabara and Yukina’s relationship? Check in next time to find out!

#anime #the anime binge-watcher #tabw #yu yu hakusho #yuu yuu hakusho

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anamorph-marco · 6 years

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Deadpool 2 (Spoilers)

Spoilers

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>>>>

. . . . Okay, if you're still reading this you have been adequately SPOILERS, warned.

Deadpool 2 sucks. And it is unfortunate that it sucks because when it is good and on its game it is one of the funniest wittiest and sharpest pieces of parody satire comedy of an over-bloated over-saturated genre I've ever seen.

But three specific things CONSTANTLY pull this film back from being good, and ONE specific thing, makes it FUCKING AWFUL.

Let's start with the three things.

This film's theme, or what it clearly wants to be its theme, is that "No one is beyond saving, and EVERYONE is worth that effort, no matter what." Which is a very solid emotionally compelling lead, that compels the plot of the film.

When the film allows itself to have a plot.

The film's next HUGE problem is that it is basically a poorly written mess.

It's seams show EVERYWHERE. And I mean in it's story telling and structural assembly. Every single scene, no every single shot, can be so clearly delineated between Plot relevant, and joke. It very rarely ever does both at once and creates (A term I'm borrowing from video game critique) Cinema-Narrative dissonance, constantly. (Otherwise known as dissonance of framing)

The third thing:

While directly related to the second point, this observation is worthy of it's own consideration. This film has a tone problem. It is constantly trying to play itself two ways, Logan level serious, and South Park level funny. The tonal yo-yo-ing is so extreme that I'm surprised neck-braces aren't required upon viewing. (That's a joke)

SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS (seriously, like, don't read this if you care about that stuff)

The film basically opens with *Wife Character* (I know her name is Ness, but she is reduced to a prop and it's infuriating so to emphasize that injustice I'm going to refer to her in this way to point out this ...phenomenon? yeah. I understand if it's upsetting) Anyways,

Wife character dies. Straight up, no pulled punches, she's shot in the heart, and it comes OUT OF NOWHERE. The film has not built up any stakes for itself, opening with a suicide joke . . . nice . . . And continuing into a constant barrage of satirical slapstick buffoonery and then BOOM wife dies. It's so out of nowhere that every time it cuts back to this CHARACTER MOTIVATING SUB PLOT, I was constantly apprehensive waiting for the other shoe to drop and the reveal to be it was all a joke.

I mean, it literally cuts to him in a bar peeing on himself because he's so sad.

I kept waiting for it to reveal that he was overreacting and imagining it all, or that he was over reacting and she just had to get surgery and was fine. Like the camera was going to pull focus and she was going to be in a wheel chair behind him.

For the recod: That doesn't happen, she's legitimately dead, actually totes mcscrotes real 4 realsies no take backsies.

Its that poorly handled.

The film hasn't earned this, it fridges Ness just to . . . John Wick? Deadpool into the main plot? But really it doesn't have anything to do with the main plot, and is a sub plot, that starts the film and is only there to be set up for jokey jokes later.

And no, John Wick is unfair. Because the whole point of John Wick is that his wife dies of natural causes and he is forced to confront that of all possible ways this could have happened to him or her, random cruel chance, was never one he thought of.

Ness dies because Deadpool fails to kill a dude with a cream cheese spreader.

No really, that's the joke.

END OF THREE THINGS

Okay, all of those poits are bad, but ultimately not unforgivable. If the rest of the execution is on par or better this film could be decent to good, and if certain points really hit home, it could still recover.

All points I concede.

Though my critique of those moments does have objective roots, it is ultimately subjective that I feel they are a big enough problem to impact the film's quality if the rest of the film executes itself competently anyways.

THE SCENE.

In my mind it will be the scene forever (And yes I'm stealing this set up from Hbomberguy, go watch his vids he's amazing)

The SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS

THe scene: AKA: The X-Force Death scene.

If you've seen the trailers you know that Deadpool assembles a team of celebrity cameos to be his new team to take down the big bad. In a joke moment he calls them X-Force and thus . . . they are. Setup:

Deadpool and . . . annoying Edgar Wright film reject character (The bartender whose name I don't remember) hold "Tryouts" for the new team and put out a Craig's List add for recruits.

A whole bunch of people show up.

And all of them get hired, Immediately.

So there's your set up. A bunch of volunteers show up to help a guy do the right thing and save a kid from a psycho killer.

The film has earned and built towards ZERO (0) animosity towards these characters.

Okay, *deep breath* the scene:

The scene features all of those recruits dying in the most brutal cruel vicious disgusting and violent on screen deaths I've ever seen in cinema history, and I've seen A LOT of Z rated exploitation horror films.

Half the deaths don't make sense. Are only there because the script said so, break the diegetic reality, suspension of disbelief, and core conceit; of a film where the main character speaks directly to the audience for jokes. How you even manage to FUCK UP that bad . . . I don't even begin to comprehend.

Terry Cruise slams head first into a bus.

Brad Pitt has a brief two second cameo as his character get's electrecuted on a live wire.

Acid Vomit man gets pulled head first through a wood shipper, but not before he vomits on Gary . . . or was it stu? Russel? Whatever.

And then

Shatterstar. Shatterstar is an alien. So his blood is green.

Shatterstar gets pureed into green slop by helicopter blades. And then his severed ponytail SLOPS onto the windshield of the helicopter in a moment that is burned into my retinas.

IT is disgusting, and cruel and directly the fault of Deadpool.

Who against all advisory, forces his team to jump despite a wind advisory.

So let's talk about all the reasons this is completely fucking stupid.

1. a commercial sky diving plane is not going to bring divers up in a wind advisory. SO he either stole the plane or killed people to get it.

2. A helicopter WOULD NOT BE initiating take off under said conditions.

3. Helicopters don't work that way.

And three is the real kicker.

In film history there are moments that live in infamy for various parts of the craft.

For stunts gone wrong, there is ONE (1) moment.

When filming Twilight Zone, against all advisory, the director of the episode put children in harms way, and all three were decapitated by the helicopter.

This is particularly poignant because during the filming of Deadpool, a specific producer, who's name rhymes with Brian Greynalds, went against all cautionary advisory and had a stunt woman perform a stunt in unsafe conditions leading to her death.

So then, in the movie, we have a visual recreation of the most notorious stunt gone wrong in film history, in a film with a stunt gone wrong, where the leader, ignores all warnings, forces his character to perform the task, and they die a gruesome cruel death.

yeah.

And this isn't a moment of reflection either. Because this 6 minute scene is followed by a minute of jokes at the expense of the dead and then NONE of those characters are EVER MENTIONED AGAIN.

So... Let's really analyze why this scene is a problem. It's grotesquely unfunny. Absurdly cruel. Completely Mean Spirited. Horrifically distasteful. and again Not in any way funny whatsoever? (You know, despite what all the press junkits with the cast might make you think where they laugh and joke about this scene)

But it's one more thing.

Remember what I said was the theme of the movie? *Flashback*

"No one is beyond saving, and EVERYONE is worth that effort, no matter what."

Yeah.

This scene, directly works against that theme in the starkest and most movie destroying way possible.

As we watch the protagonist, not just cause and allow for the deaths of 5 well meaning characters specifically trying their best to do the right thing for good reasons, die in the most horrible ways ever put to screen.

We then get to joke about it. With no remorse. and no reflection. and then, it's forgotten.

If I had a digital copy of the film. I could literally edit that scene and the character's introductions out of the film, and NOTHING WOULD CHANGE.

It's a bad scene.

And combined with everything else.

It makes Deadpool 2 a bad movie.

And the fact that everything else in it is so good, just makes it all the more infuriating, because this film snatches defeat from the jaws of victory for no reason. One that could have easily been fixed in editing.

It would have had tone problems.

It would have been inconsistent.

But it would have been good, with great highlights.

But instead.

It's not.

It's just bad

. . . . . . . . . . . . ***Post Credits thoughts: (I guess)*** ... And I didn't even go into the extended toddler dick joke scene. Because . . . yeah. That's a thing. and it's as uncomfortable and "pedo" sounding as that sentence implies. Also, what plot there is is pretty incoherent because of those three problems I mentioned before. It's literally like watching 4 different films.

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mostlysignssomeportents · 7 years

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CEOs quit Trump: The 1% can't win elections unless the 99% turkeys vote for Christmas

Yesterday, Merck CEO Ken Frazier quit Trump's advisory council and today the CEOs of Intel and Under Armor joined him, which raises the question: why were these guys on the advisory council for an avowed white supremacist who campaigned on a platform of racial discrimination against Mexicans and Muslims?

The short answer is that, by definition, there just aren't that many 1%ers and even fewer 0.1%ers. In order to win an election, 1%ers need to convince a bunch of people to vote for policies that clobber the economic interests of the 99% and benefit the 1%.

Traditionally, this has involved a "conservative values" appeal that fluxuates in its virulence, finding new scapegoats to herd conservative turkeys to the polls and mark an X for Christmas. Historically, brown people have been at the forefront of these scare tactics (cf Willie Horton), and Jews, gays, trans people, women, women who get abortions, women who take birth control, people on social assistance, and other plausible bogeymen rotate in and out of the crosshairs.

But there is no fluxuation to speak of in the effect of the policies of the Republican party on its base. The more "business-friendly" policies are enacted, the more likely the median Republican voter is to lose their health care, get their jobs offshored, send their children to a sub-par school, be injured on the job, get sick from industrial pollution, and be boiled in their own pudding as climate change scorches their homes and lives.

So the scare story needs to get scarier in order to distract from the increasingly obvious axe that Farmer Brown keeps sharpening, otherwise Republican voters stop showing up at the polls, or, worse, change sides.

Trump's everything-and-the-kitchen-sink approach to demonization represents many things, but among them is a demonstration that it's getting harder and harder to distract GOP voters from the fact that things keep getting worse for them -- the rhetorical stakes now must include the media, protesters, the opposition, his own party leadership... As Trump likes to say, "Only Trump can save you." Everyone else is jettisonable ballast.

The marriage of inequality-boosting, 1%-friendly policies to scapegoating isn't a freak accident. It's an inevitability, the only way to consistently guarantee turkey-votes every Christmas. That's why the American establishment responds to unarmed people at Standing Rock seeking safe water as if they were terrorists, but handles murdering neo-Nazis rampaging through the streets of Charlottesville with kid gloves.

Trump's economic policies are very, very good for CEOs, but the civil disorder, racism, homophobia and terror he uses to gain and retain power are not good for business in the long run. Customers don't want to buy products from companies that are aligned with actual Nazis; scarce engineering talent doesn't want to work for those companies (though there is an obvious and enthusiastic rump of engineers who love authoritarianism and discrimination, busily penning memos about the intrinsic superiority of men and/or developing spyware for Palantir). It's the very scarcity of engineering talent that has caused these companies to set aside some of their bias in order to hire more broadly -- just as the exclusion of women from the workforce couldn't survive the need to build WWII battleships while the men were all in uniform, the need to build the internet trumps the intrinsic and often unconscious bias of the overwhelmingly white, well-off dudes who found and fund Silicon Valley companies.

Trump isn't "normal." He figured out that shattering normalcy and speaking bigotry aloud rather than whispering it softly was a way to re-energize frightened, small-minded bigots and get them to vote for more misery for themselves (so long as it came with transvaginal probing for women seeking abortions and a ban on trans people in the military).

But speaking bigotry aloud also shatters the social contract between the rich and the bigoted, in which the rich get their policies and fund the campaigns of cynics who'll quietly enact bigotry without ever speaking it aloud. So the CEOs who joined Trump's kitchen cabinet in order to protect tax cuts and the right to pollute and maim employees and customers with impunity are now forced to choose whether they want to continue to align their companies with overt Naziism. They're choosing not to, and hoping that there will be a way to elect Republicans who keep the bigotry down to dog-whistle volumes rather than shouting it from the hills.

There will be plenty of Republicans who want this to be possible, too: they're the ones hoping to get elected up and down the ticket in 2018, who know that fronting for the semi-respectable face of the American Nazi Party will energize lots of people to come out and vote against you.

But these Rs are fighting against the hardest-line economic wreckers, the Galt-cultists who literally believe that there is a group of people whose genome makes them into the "job creators" that we all need to kowtow to. These people -- and the fakpants-the-farmer-firste mathematicians whom they pay to write baffling equations that prove the virtue of selfishness -- are willing to hitch their wagon to anyone provided that person will continue the march toward privatizing roads and fire-departments and city governments. These people believe "freedom is incompatible with democracy" because ultimately the turkeys won't vote for Christmas anymore, and so their project is to perfect techniques of social control in Singaporean fashion, creating a system where the executions are handled behind closed doors and the majority go along to get along, accepting any discussion of inequality or unfairness as "out of bounds."

These would-be-Ubermeschen view the major problem of Naziism as its potential for chaos. They're indifferent to its intrinsic odiousness. If they believe that they can channel the anger of the base, they're happy to keep whipping it up.

It's a hell of a moment to be on the left, as the right tears itself apart. Now, will our so-called leaders actually lead, seizing the moment, or will they continue to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory?

https://boingboing.net/2017/08/15/pants-the-farmer-first.html

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