Tumgik
#dv program
3elmy3elmk · 10 months
Text
0 notes
yardimsorgulama · 2 years
Text
GREEN CARD 2023 BAŞVURUSU NASIL YAPILIR ? 2022 #başvuru #SONDAKİKA #sondakikahaber
GREEN CARD 2023 BAŞVURUSU NASIL YAPILIR ? 2022 #başvuru #SONDAKİKA #sondakikahaber
GREEN CARD 2023 BAŞVURUSU NASIL YAPILIR ? yazımıza hoş geldiniz. Ayrıca GREEN CARD 2023 BAŞVURUSU NASIL YAPILIR ? konusundaki görüşlerinizi alt kısımdan yorum olarak oluşturursanız seviniriz. #Başvuru #SONDAKİKA #sondakikahaber konusu son zamanlarda oldukça günceldir. 2022 yılı içerisinde çok popüler olan ve de farklı kişiler tarafından farklı görüşler ile sunulmuş olan bu duruma en iyi ifadeyi…
Tumblr media
View On WordPress
0 notes
usadvlottery · 5 months
Text
The Ultimate Guide to USA DV Lottery: Apply and Succeed" is a comprehensive handbook providing invaluable insights into the intricacies of the USA Diversity Visa (DV) Lottery. This guide equips applicants with essential strategies to navigate the application process successfully, offering a roadmap to enhance their chances of winning and realizing the dream of securing a U.S. visa. From eligibility criteria to practical tips, this guide is a go-to resource for those aspiring to make the most of their opportunity in the USA DV Lottery.
2 notes · View notes
Text
the good news is, i had an amaaazing backpacking trip. perfect weather, delightful company, shockingly good camp-stove meals, some really gorgeous hiking. the bad news is some folks i interacted with have come down with covid (because of course they have) so i’m feeling slightly doomed.
7 notes · View notes
credasmigrations · 10 days
Text
Tumblr media
The US Green Card Lottery is launched by the government to welcome immigrants from all parts of the world for diversification. Once you win the lottery, you can start a new and happening life in the US.
1 note · View note
9jacompass · 2 years
Text
U.S. Department of State Electronic Diversity Visa Program Application 2023-Apply Now
U.S. Department of State Electronic Diversity Visa Program Application 2023-Apply Now
USA Visa Program:The U.S. Department of State, through Bureau of Consular Affairs is currently welcoming applications for the Visa Program (DV-2024) is now open. The entry submission period for DV-2024 is from 12:00PM EDT (GMT -4) on October 5, 2022 to 12:00PM EST (GMT -5) on November 8, 2022. The entry form will only be available for submission during this period and this period only. Entries…
Tumblr media
View On WordPress
0 notes
hcgreys · 2 years
Text
Kerbal space program dv map
Tumblr media
#KERBAL SPACE PROGRAM DV MAP HOW TO#
So six 200 I sp engines still yields only 200 I sp.
When I sp is the same for all engines in a stage, then the I sp is equal to a single engine.
Xenon (max full/empty mass ratio = 4.167) Monopropellant (max full/empty mass ratio = 8.5) Kerbal Space Program official site is a game about exploration, vehicular design and physics Tag: Delta V Map We asked Brendan to suit up and go forth, in the name of science 22) by Trigger Au. (These calculations use a full/empty fuel-tank mass ratio of 9 for all engines except those noted.) ISP(Vac) (s) Kerbal Space Program Translation Support Tool 2 for KSP: MOD. No matter how much fuel you add you will never reach these ΔV without staging to shed mass or using the slingshot maneuver. Maximum Δv chart This chart is a quick guide to what engine to use for a single stage interplanetary ship. Use the atmospheric and vacuum thrust values for atmospheric and vacuum Δv, respectively. Fortunately for Jebediah, our dear Kerbals only have one brand of fuel to worry about.ĭelta-v (Δv) Basic calculation → See also: Tutorial:Advanced Rocket Designīasic calculation of a rocket's Δv. I'm sure I read you just read it in reverse but this would mean a return from Mun surface would cost 1600+ DV.
#KERBAL SPACE PROGRAM DV MAP HOW TO#
In real life, specific impulse is governed by things like combustion chamber pressure and propellant energy (hydrogen/oxygen is more efficient than kerosene/oxgyen). Whilst I totally understand how to use the DV map to get to a planet im always a bit confused how to read it for the return to Kerbin. Knocked up a handy diagram combining Delta V values from WAC's map and orbital / planetary info from the KSP wiki ticket,summary,component,version,milestone,type,severity,owner,status,created,changetime,description,reporter 4,DVDNav current time,Demuxers,master git,Features See full list on wiki Use the and buttons. The higher the specific impulse, the more efficient an engine is! May your rockets be rockety and your engines be engine-y. So youve decided to begin seriously modding Kerbal Space Program. Tutorial One: Making a 1 Meter Adapter Plate from Scratch Part 1: Blender/KSP Setup. Specific impulse is used in important equations like THE ROCKET EQUATION (see next section) to determine how much oomph (or "delta-vee") you can get out of a given amount of propellant. Kerbal Space Program Jet Engine Line Chart Surface Dessert Recipes Keto Map Location Map Desert Recipes. Most engines are designed for optimal performance either at Sea Level (the big ones that drive your first stage and boosters, which have lots of thrust!) or Vacuum (where they won't burn as much propellant, but can be VERY efficient). Because this depends on the pressure of a rocket's surroundings, this can change between Sea Level and Vacuum (in space). Specific impulse measures the efficiency of a particular engine. Specific Impulse (I sp) → See also: Specific impulse Most rockets, straight off the launch pad, will utilize a TWR between 1.5 and 2.0. If TWR is significantly above, say, 2.0, your rocket will ZOOM! But it might ZOOM too hard for your poor Kerbalnauts. To do it manually, head up to about 10km, then start tilting to 60 degrees east. You will need more engines, or perhaps MOAR BOOSTERZ! If TWR is less than one, then your rocket will not be going into space.
Tumblr media
0 notes
blkkizzat · 8 months
Text
Tumblr media
ღ 𝐆𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐭𝐟𝐚𝐜𝐞!𝐂𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐨 ღ
𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝟏 𝐨𝐟 𝟐
18+ONLY MDNI
kizzatober series: Smooth Criminals
Kinktober Prompts: Clothed Male/Naked Female, Thigh Riding, Knife Play Synopsis: The university campus is being terrorized by a copycat Ghostface killer. As a popular sorority girl with a dumb jock bf, you are a prime choice to be his next victim especially given how he can't stop thinking about you. But you're no ordinary Sorority Girl bimbo, now are you? CW: AU college fic. blood obsession/hematolagnia, bimbo reader, murder, slight DV (from your npc jerk ass bf), unprotected sex, masturbation, slight age gap (roughly 21 vs 28) and dark content. NOTE: If death/killer romanticization related shit triggers you this is probably a fic to avoid because that is happening all through this bitch. I literally wrote a murder fluff smut fic lmfao. WC: 6.5k of 15.4k Lightly black fem coded (reader is an AKA lmfao) but no descriptors.
A/N: This is my first kinktober fic! I'm sorry this took so long y'all but last week been low key hell and I was sick for a lot of it. Also I did struggle with this a bit since this one I decided to do as an whole fic instead of PWP and now its gotten to be so long its definitely going to be in two parts. Sorry there's no smut in the first part, but there is some fluff and some juicy build up. I've never written for Choso before but he's so baby girl omg I'm obsessed with him now but still I'm a bit nervous posting this. sorry if its dog.
Enjoy!
Tumblr media
“Ever felt a knife rip through human flesh and scrape the bone beneath?”
Those were the last words a nameless student heard before Ghostface's hunting knife shined menacingly in the air and came down to claim its newest victim.
Shluk! Shluk! Shluk!
Metal slashed through flesh with razor precision.
Gurgled death cries are silenced as the lifeless body collapses to the ground. 
A thick pool of blood began gathering around them to fan out and travel around their body down the slanted titled floor to drain. 
Choso breathed in deeply. 
A wave of calm washed over him. 
Peace. 
Almost in an enlightened state, he felt the most serene after a kill. 
It was beautiful. 
Blood was beautiful.
The surging stream of blood that would eventually slow to a trickle, the abstract designs of its splatter and the way it swirled around the body splayed across the ground like paint on a canvas.
Like a painting. 
A death painting… and the knife, his paintbrush. 
This was his art.
Choso can recall the first time he actually saw blood beyond a minor scrape. 
He couldn’t have been more than 6 years old. No doubt trying to impress his younger brother Yuji by balancing on top of the monkey bars. After all this time Choso isn’t certain as to how, but he lost his footing and fell flat on his face onto the unforgiving concrete below.
Screams of children filled the area once Choso pushed himself up onto his feet. He immediately felt wetness rush down his face. However, rather than cry or panic a young Choso cocked his head curiously when he noticed his reflection on the metal jungle gym. A warped view of his face mirrored back at him but he could still make out the bright red fluid cascading down his features staining him in red. 
Choso didn’t know how long he stood transfixed, mesmerized by the sight of rouge river that flowed from him until Yuji ran back crying with their parents in tow. 
It was how he had the scar across the bridge of his nose till this day, which became unsightly enough he had decided to get a black bar tattooed over it as soon as he turned 18. 
From then on he couldn’t deny his growing obsession with blood and seeing it leave the human body. All of which had led him here to this university to attain a PHD in Forensics. 
He picked this university, not only for their program but it was the perfect small town playground for Ghostface, a local urban legend from years ago he decided to revive once he felt as he had attained enough knowledge not to get caught.  
Choso was meticulous in his process. 
Ironclad alibis, no distinctive patterns and no victims with any connections to each other, nor him. Additionally, he had memorized all the angles of the university’s security system (thanks to a security guard he had bribed then promptly killed). 
His victims' lives were just his means to an end for his art and most students on this campus wouldn’t amount to much anyway outside of that was how he justified it. Choso did like toying with them on occasion though, fear made the blood pump faster and spray harder once he finally did catch them. 
Sadly, he could never admire his creations for too long though before needing to make his own exit. 
Almost midnight. 
Ten more minutes before campus security makes another round.
He took one last glance at the scene of carnage he had created before disappearing into the night. 
In just a mere 2 hours, the news of another Ghostface murder spread across campus. 
The university’s students were either scared, scattering back to barricade themselves in their dorms. Or curious, lingering around the crime scene near the safety of the news crews and reporters who had gathered to see who the unlucky victim was this time.
No one however, is likely more curious than you: A third year forensics undergrad, who was just itching to get a real glimpse of your first real crime scene, a Ghostface copycat killer crime scene at that! 
You had even left a huge frat party (to be fair it was about to get broken up soon anyway) to trek across campus in the bitter cold of late fall. 
“Y/N, let’s go back–,” one of your pledges whined, “–it’s cold and my feet hurt in these heels!”
“Shh, Stassi, shut up! What if this is an initiation test?” another pledge whispered. 
Your sorority pledges chatter on behind you and you almost forgot you brought them along. It’s not like you wanted to but, like it or not, they were attached to you at the hip like little ducklings until rush was over.
With a clap you turn on your heel to address them.
“Ladies–” 
However you abruptly stop once you see your Forensics TA, Choso Kamo, taking what appeared to be a night jog across the campus quad. 
Was he going to the crime scene too? Your face instantly lights up and your pledges look around confused.
“Wait here girlies! I’ll be 5 minutes max…. No, I mean it. Wait right here!”    
Your pledges huff quietly, but agree. 
They had no choice really as you were already skipping as fast as your not-so-sober legs would carry you in 5-inch pumps over the quad lawn. Truthfully, that was not something they were trying to do too, especially not to chase down what looked like some creepy emo nerd.
“Choso!”
You call out to him and wave, but he doesn’t look like he sees you as you hurry towards him.
“Hey Choooo! Wait up!”  You puffed out, trying to maneuver over the grass in your heels. 
Choso sighed recognizing your voice, reluctantly slowing his pace. He would have kept on jogging but he knew you would keep calling out to him and draw even more attention that he really didn’t need right now.
Finally catching up to him, you grab Choso’s arm and loop yours through. He flinched slightly at your touch but you knew he always seemed a bit jumpy when it came to physical contact, so this didn’t phase you. 
If anything you thought his reactions were kinda cute.
“Where are you going weirdo? All the action is back that way!” You teased with a big grin and pointed in the direction of the crime scene.
Choso tries to ignore how his adrenaline was pumping even faster from you holding on to him than when he was running, especially dressed as you were. 
You looked sexy as hell utterly ridiculous.
You were decked out in a sailor costume, which was pretty much just a poor excuse for lingerie at this point. Your white sailor flap collar attached to nothing more than a sparkly navy bra with shiney white and red trims, leaving your midsection exposed showing your cute little belly ring in the shape of an anchor. 
This was complemented by a dangerously short yet matching sparkling navy pleated skirt which sat low on your thick hips. Your shapely legs were the most covered part of your body yet still looked overwhelmingly tempting in red glittery garters, attached to white opaque stockings in glittery red heels.
“I’m the weirdo… but you’re dressed like that in 40 degree weather.” Choso retorted, brow raised.
“Duh Choso–” 
You released his arm to give him a twirl in your outfit, not noticing the way he nervously wet his lips watching your skirt rise with your little spin.
“–The ‘Get Nauti’ party was tonight silly, where have you been!?”
Oh you know, just casually killing someone. Choso resisted the urge to roll his eyes. 
Of course he knew about the party. 
The campus had been littered with fliers for ‘Get Nauti’ for the past two weeks. Nothing Choso would ever be interested in as he would rather stab himself in the face than attend a mind-numbing party with a bunch of bro-for-brain frat guys. 
However, he did take advantage of the opportunity to create another death painting as Ghostface with the rest of campus preoccupied. 
He couldn’t tell you that though obviously.
“Gym,” Choso said flatly and shrugged, “Heading back to the dorms n-”
“–You mean you aren't going to the Social Sciences building!? Don’t you remember?!” You cut him off in your excitement. 
“The police said they would let us forensic students look at the next crime scene!”
Your face had a warm glow and your movements slightly swayed. You were clearly drunk.
“No Y/N, they said they might let the PhD students, like me, look at the crime scene… and that was only a slim ‘maybe’. You’re still just an undergrad”, he reminded you, much to your dismay as you puffed your cheeks.
But seriously, Choso thought, even the incompetent local police would have enough sense not to let you on the crime scene dressed as you are now, even if you were a PhD student. 
“Awe no fair,” you whine dejectedly. “But you should go, Cho! Then you can tell me all about it! Pleaseeee, I’m dying to know what a Ghostface crime scene looks like. I hear it’s kinda gruesome!”
You gazed up at Choso through fluttering long lashes as you poked out your cherry glossed lips. It was a pout that could famously leave any frat boy at your mercy, but it never seemed to stir Choso much (that you could tell at least).
Choso swallowed. 
On the contrary, your charms worked rather well on him. His mouth was dry and he unconsciously clenched and unclenched a sweat ridden palm behind his back. 
The hell were you doing being this excited over a crime scene? One of his crime scenes for that matter? 
Choso really didn’t know what to make of that.
“Y/N it’s late. I still have papers to grade. I’m going back to my dorm now and you should get home too,” Choso said flatly, trying to keep his cool although fatigue was etched into his voice.
He was in peak physical form but still feeling the strain given he just chased his last victim all over the Social Sciences building. Not to mention still having assignments to grade. All which would be fine if he also wasn’t on edge from you right now as well.
“Booooo…Choso yo– ahchoo!” You sneezed from the cold. 
The effects of alcohol could only do so much to keep you warm in these low temperatures while you were standing still. 
With another sigh Choso unzipped his black track jacket, taking it off and putting it around your shoulders. 
He was doing so as much for your sake as his own. Choso couldn’t help but notice your boobs looking like they were going to pop out of your flimsy sailor bra at any moment when you folded your arms underneath them for warmth.
He was really doing his best to maintain eye contact with you.
“Awe thanks Cho, you’re so chivalrous!” You giggled, blushing as you snuggled into his jacket. 
You could still feel his body heat lingering on the material but the heady scent of oak and sandwood from his cologne warmed you even more.
You also couldn’t help but stare as the black compression turtleneck he wore underneath clung to his body like a second skin. You had suspicions he was fit but you never saw him wear anything beyond his dark colored button ups and shaggy sweaters when in class. 
“Now go home, Y/N. You shouldn’t even be out here alone this late.” 
Choso’s stern voice snapped you out of your ogling.
“But I’m not alone silly!” 
You pointed to the group of scared and shivering freshmen girls also in various states of sparkly undress all for the sake of ‘getting nauti’ standing on a paved path not too far off. 
They looked absolutely miserable. 
“I have my pledges!” 
Choso gave you an incredulous look. You were too clueless. 
“So let me get this straight… You are drunk. You have drunk freshmen with you, who shouldn’t even be drinking in the first place…and you plan on taking them to a murder scene? Where the cops are?” You made an “OH” face and absentmindedly laughed as you came to the realization it probably wasn’t the best look for Chapter VP of the AKAs to take a bunch of drunk and terrified freshmen pledges straight into a recent crime scene. Even if you could put an academic spin on it as it was relevant to your major classes.
Yikes, and on second thought, your house mom would flip her entire shit if she found out.
“Go home Y/N,” Choso said again, shaking his head.
“Besides, you should be more focused on the Chemistry lab midterm on Monday. You know you can’t afford to fail.”
You sulked but relented, he was right. On both accounts.
As your T.A. for that class Choso knew better than anyone just how much your grade depended on passing that lab and you hadn’t even so much as glanced at your notes yet this week.
“Aye Aye, Capitan Choso, sir!” you teased giving him a salute with a wink and lifted knee, your sailor skirt lifting a bit higher.
It was a cute move, or it would have been at least if it hadn't caused your weight to shift all on to one foot. The heel of the sparkly red glitter pump baring your weight sunk into the patch of soft soil beneath you causing your foot to pop out of the shoe as you tumble forward. 
You would have definitely ate shit and embarrassed yourself in front of Choso, your pledges and whoever else was walking across the quad at this time of night if Choso’s quick reflexes didn’t catch you. 
You let out a squeak and waved your arms as you fell tits first onto Choso’s hard chest. 
Shit. 
Choso could feel your hardened nipples pressing against him through the flimsyass costume you wore. He tried hard to focus on how cold it was outside. Anything rather than how warm your body felt up against him or how his biceps tensed from the tight grip of your delicate fingers that sought stability from him.
You grinned sheepishly. You thanked him for catching you not realizing the position you were in nor the torment you were putting this man through.
Setting you upright quickly, Choso crouched down to retrieve your shoe. 
His plan was to simply place it near your foot but he felt your hand land on his shoulder and you raised your dainty foot up expectantly.
Any attempts to avert his gaze proved futile as Choso couldn’t stop his eyes from traveling up the length of your leg. 
Your opaque white stockings practically glowed in the darkness illuminating the shapely calves it covered and thick thighs the tight material cut into. Your hips strained against your garters up until your –he caught himself and his eyes snapped up immediately.
He was a killer, not a perv at least he was trying not to be.
Gingerly making sure to only touch your ankle, you were giggling again as he put your shoe on your foot and placed it on the grass again.
“Thanks Choso! You really are a lifesaver, ya know! I can’t bend down in this skirt.”
“Don’t mention it.” Choso quickly replied, pushing his bangs out of his face in exasperation. 
Really don’t. 
Choso was trying to forget the flash of red lace he saw that barely covered your plump pu– No he had to stop, you were technically his student even if he was just a T.A.
He would surely have to kill you if he popped a boner right now. He was trying to keep a low profile already and did not need to add ‘sexual deviant' to his name from a student harassment claim.
“For real now, go home Y/N.” Choso silently pleaded you would just listen this time. 
He always felt more compulsive right after a kill and didn’t know what he would do if you stayed around him like this much longer.
You finally relented to his relief, nodding and mumbling a sad little goodnight pulling his jacket around your shoulders tighter as you turned to leave back to your pledges. 
Choso started to leave as well but your voice stopped him as you looked at him over your shoulder.
“You know Choso…” You smoothed your skirt down behind you and flashed him a pageant winning smile, “I don’t mind that you saw them.”
Before Choso’s short-circuiting brain could even process what you said you were bouncing off back to your pledges. “Okay ladies, now make like Bey and get in formation! Back to the Soro house!” 
Your pledges erupted with various replies from– 
‘Thank God!’’ 
‘Did you just go over there to steal that nerd’s jacket? Boss!’’
‘Was that your boyfriend, Y/N?’
‘Y/N’s bf is a starter on the football team, she doesn’t want that weird emo dork.’
‘No, sis did you see his muscles– That emo look is still kinda hot right now, huh Y/N?’ 
‘Awe, but I want to go back to the frat!’ 
–all fluttered from the group of chattering girls as you cheerily led them back to the Sorority house. 
You laughed at their comments hoping Choso couldn’t hear them though, as they were a bit embarrassing. 
Unfortunately for the both of you, there was no way for Choso not to hear your rowdy group of drunk giggling girls, he’s sure the whole quad did. 
Choso rolled his eyes as a chill took over him as he started the jog back to his dorms. 
He was glad he had given you his jacket though. The way his body had started to respond to you just now the frigid jog back to the dorms would do him good. 
He just wanted to shower, grade a few papers then go to bed, he didn’t want to end up fisting his cock to you again tonight. 
You had plagued his peace for too long. It wouldn’t do him any good to think of you, it’s not like he could ever have you. 
Sure you went to the same university but you might as well have been from two different worlds. 
You were a popular sorority undergrad with the attention of virtually the entire male population on campus. 
Choso was a PhD student who was used to fading in the background, most avoided him due his looks and academic focus anyway. 
He only had an affiliation with you because his scholarships were tied to being a T.A. for undergrad forensics classes. 
Also you did have a boyfriend. 
An asshole neanderthal football-wide-receiver boyfriend who he would have been tempted to kill already had he not served his own purpose as a reality check and barrier for Choso.
Oh and had an eccentric obsession with blood going for him and was also the Ghostface copycat killer, that too. 
He was sure that would go over well with you, Choso mused sarcastically.
Upon returning to his dorm Choso took a shower, graded papers and tried to fall asleep but inevitably jerked his cock off to you.
Twice. 
The sounds and images of your ditzy little laugh and skippy little panties consumed him as soon as he closed his eyes. The phantom feeling of the way your nipples felt pressed against his chest and how you clung to him desperately had him feeling near insatiable. 
Choso admittedly thinks of killing you often. Just to get some peace of mind.
It wouldn’t be difficult at all to pull off. It’s not like you could put up much of a fight against him.
He didn’t want to break his rule of killing anyone with a connection to him but Choso had also never had anyone stir him the way you did. 
You were a distraction and liability to him. If he killed you he could finally stop thinking about you…right?
You would make a beautiful death painting too.
Choso imagines thick red blood splattered across your curves. 
The fatal gash from the femoral artery in your thigh oozing out a continuous stream of blood. The cut would have to be considerably deep too considering how meaty your thighs were. 
Would the blood streak down your long leg as you desperately tried to hobble away from him in your slutty red heels?
Or would you collapse in fear and surrender to him fully? Landing in such a way that allowed the blood to redirect backwards and soil the flimsy red panties poorly concealing the fat of your cunt as you cried out in fear.
Fuck. 
He was hard again. 
He reached over to his night stand for his lotion bottle– practically empty thanks to his nonstop fantasies of you.
God, he was pathetic.
The school week that followed was relatively uneventful. 
You passed your lab midterms much to Choso’s surprise. Although you always seemed to pass with a relatively decent grade despite how you struggled to get there. Holding firm to your B average in the class and 3.3 GPA in your major overall.
He had to admit you were a better student than he originally gave you credit for. It makes him recall when he first saw you last spring. 
You were a late enroll to Forensic Biology 101. Not only that, you burst into the third class of the semester nearly 15 minutes late.
Oblivious to all the eyes your disruption earned, you leaned on your knees as your chest heaved from exertion giving the entire class an amazing view of your tits spilling from your pink crop top adorned with the prestigious “AKA” sorority. 
You definitely would have given the class an additional show from bending over in your tight green jean skirt had your ass not been facing the door. Choso eyes couldn't help but travel down the length of your legs, your glossy white painted toes peeking out strappy pink pumps. 
You smiled brightly once you caught your breath and apologized for your late entrance but you were newly voted chapter vice president and had just come from your first meeting. 
Surely you had the wrong classroom.
“Er– this class is Forensic Biology 101 young lady.” The older male professor had given you a once over also thinking you must be lost.
“Mhm, yup! I’m Y/N! I just changed my major!” you beamed and handed the professor your schedule.
He looked at it and back at you twice.
“Hm, well so it is…but you are already behind, little lady. Go and take a seat next to the T.A. in the back, Choso Kamo, he will catch you up.”
Just his luck. Choso didn’t want to babysit some sorority bimbo who would probably drop this class in two weeks once the labs started. 
Your university was famous for the forensics program. If you graduated you were all but guaranteed a job at a prominent lab in a major city but more than two thirds of undergrad students dropped it once the rigorous labs began. 
You didn’t look like you would last.
Especially when you told him your interest in forensics came from watching Dexter. You told him how you thought the actor was hott and how his kill rooms were ‘so cool.’ Choso definitely rolled his eyes at that and wrote you off as a soon-to-be drop out.
You proved him wrong though. 
You were a bit of a ditz and a huge clutz but Choso came to understand t's more because you had about a billion different things going on in your head at once rather than you just being dumb or careless. 
You were also a hard worker. 
It was admirable how many activities you were involved in yet still tried as hard as you did in your classes. You always came to his T.A. review sessions and even sought him out at times while he was in the research library to ask him questions. 
You were a good student and he was a horrible T.A. for even thinking of you in this way. 
The campus bell tower struck noon in the distance and Choso looked down to see that he had only read a single paragraph since he sat down to study thirty minutes ago.
Fuck, he had lost himself in thinking about you again. 
Choso put a hand over his face. 
He was sitting alone at a picnic table on the outer, less populated edges of the quad trying to read a textbook but every time he heard a high pitched giggle he snapped his head up thinking it was you.
Class schedules were a bit different due to midterms and he hadn’t seen you the entire week other than to administer the lab but that didn’t mean you didn’t still plague his thoughts more increasingly as of late.
It was making Choso a bit reckless. 
Needing to relieve stress he had created 2 more death paintings. A mistake as it was rumored the local police would soon reach out to bigger towns for more help and perhaps even the FBI would send an agent soon to campus if this kept up. 
He had to move more carefully. 
Maybe make it look like there were multiple Ghostface killers for starters.
“3 Victims, One Week: The Copycat Ghostface Reign of Terror Continues!” 
You read aloud adding a bit of dramatic flair to your voice as you recite the front headline of the campus paper and jar Choso from his thoughts of you. 
Speak of the devil.
You approached Choso at his table and he immediately noticed you were wearing his jacket again, well more like swimming in it as it was clearly too big for you.
This time though you were bundled up in a scarf, leggings and heeled booties. He was glad his face was already a bit red from sitting out in the cold because he couldn’t stop the intrusive thoughts from forming that you looked even sexier cozied up and comfortable in his jacket than in the slutty sailor costume.
“I don’t know why you even bother reading that shit Y/N. They never have any interesting details anyway.” Choso tried to feign disinterest in your arrival but his leg was already slightly bouncing under the table, nervous energy returning.
“Well I have to! You wouldn’t go to the crime scene for me last Saturday, remember?”
How could he forget?  
However a part of him did want you to view it though, his masterpieces, his kills. 
See how glorious their blood looked sprayed on the walls, the ground, and the general surroundings of his victims. 
But he knew you’d never appreciate them the way he did even if you were a forensics student.
“Oh and sorry!” 
You interrupted his thoughts once again.
“I meant to give you back your jacket, I’ve been carrying it with me hoping I’d run into you but I ran out today and forgot mine…whoops! I hope you don’t mind me wearing yours a bit longer?”
Your saccharine smile has Choso sucking in a hard breath. 
At this point he would prefer you to just keep it, he couldn’t trust himself if he had it back with your scent all over it knowing you had been carrying it around all week.
He would never know any peace.
“Keep it as long as you need.”
“Kay!”
You smile at him as you haphazardly plop your overstuffed tote bag down next to him, which of course spilled all its colorful contents all over the table. 
“Oh Crap!” 
You lean over to reach for your bag but almost spill the tray of hot coffees in your hand.
“Y/N, Watch out!” 
Choso grabbed the tray before it could spill all over his and your belongings and sat it down on the table with a small exhale.
“Oh! Thank you!” You flash him a big grin. “I got this one for you!” 
You handed him a grande cup with ‘pumpkin spice dirty chai’ scribbled on it.
Choso preferred his coffee black and he has definitely told you that before but you always just brought him whatever sugary drink you ordered saying he needed to ‘try new things’. 
He wasn’t about to turn you down though, caffeine was caffeine and as a PhD student he needed all he could get. Choso also knew it was your way of thanking him for helping you so much in forensics.  
“Thanks...” Choso mumbled taking a sip. Shit this is actually good.
You sat down next to him, a little too close for comfort with your spandex clad thigh brushing up against his leg.
“Whatcha reading? Is it for your thesis?” You were perilously close leaning on him as you looked over his broad shoulder onto his textbook.
“Yeah, some forensics texts I need to review for citations. This section focuses on serology and bloodstain pattern analysis,” Choso stated knowledgably. 
“Oh! Like in Dexter!” 
“Yeah, Y/N, like in Dexter.” 
Maybe Choso is growing a bit soft as he can’t resist but to crack a small smile at your kid-like-enthusiasm for the subject, you were incorrigible. 
Choso also doesn’t miss the way your eyes sparkle when you ask him to tell you more about his research. 
And so he does.
Sometimes Choso forgets how easy you are to talk on the subject. To be frank no one outside his own PHD program ever asks him about his thesis so before he realizes it he’s letting his guard down to indulge you.
You both get so lost in the conversation to the point it hasn’t even phased Choso yet that you are now actually leaning on him. 
Your soft cheek rests near his shoulder and your body angles deeper into his as you point to ask him about a passage on the page which he begins to break down.  
You try to focus on his words but in the midst of Choso’s explanation your eyes stray from the text up to his face. 
You feel your body start to warm.You always thought he was attractive. His dark looks never deterred you if anything they were refreshing from the crew cut preppy jocks around you. Even more so with his piercings in.
Choso never wore any of his piercings during classes or while in the research library. You counted six facial piercings in total from the three on his brows to the septum, labret and finally the black bar piercing through his tongue that darted out exposed with the movements of his mouth. 
Studying him further you discover for the first time his tattoo across the bridge of his nose was actually covering a scar. It looked old but like it had been deep. 
You couldn’t help but wonder if it had hurt him and why he chose to cover it. 
You didn’t even realize you had reached out to touch it until you felt his gaze snap to you. 
Stunned and a bit embarrassed, you withdraw your hand.
“Ah, sorry I just noticed your tattoo was covering a scar…” you trailed off hoping he wouldn’t be annoyed with you.
Annoyance was the last thing on Choso’s mind as finally registered how you had melded yourself into his side body. 
Although his usual reaction would be to withdraw back, you might as well have him chained down to the table now as he was practically immobilized by you not even being able to look away. 
“Uh, yeah it happened years ago when I was a kid...I fell off the monkey bars, there was a lot of blood.” 
No one had even recognized it since Choso had it covered years ago. You were the first.
“Oh no! I loved the monkey bars, we used to climb up on them all the time when I was little. I guess those things are kinda dangerous huh? Actually, I’m kinda shocked I never fell, a miracle right?” 
You laughed and Choso found himself smiling at you again. 
You were too accident prone so it really was a miracle. 
“Yeah, good thing you never fell Y/N… It would be a shame to have to get a big ugly tattoo on that cute face.” 
Choso swore on his life those last words only were said in his head but from the way your eyes widened he knew he fucked up.
“I- that is.. I meant-”
Choso smacked a hand over his face. He can’t believe he just said that out loud to you. He was really losing it. 
“So you think I’m cute?” you teased giggling. You angled your head so you could look up at him from underneath his hand.
“Yeah, about as cute as the blood splatter diagram on this page.” he teased you back. A small smirk on his features as he peeked at you through his fingers.
“Hey!” 
Choso chuckled. Little did you know he actually paid you a huge compliment comparing you to something he thought so alluring as blood.
You grab the hand covering his face as your smile widens and you playfully struggle with Choso. 
You don’t become aware of your close proximity until you almost bump noses.
Choso locks eyes with you and you feel your tummy tighten as you bite your lip. 
You’re still holding his hand and after a while you work up the courage as your other hand comes up to touch his face. 
“Your tattoo isn’t ugly Choso,” you breathe out softly.
Choso closes his eyes as you trace the scar beneath his tattoo. 
You weren’t sure what you were doing but your hand involuntarily begins to travel across his face and his piercings until they graze over his lips and he opens his eyes again.  
Startled by the sudden hungry look in his eyes you pull back your hand but he captures it in his own, him being the one to trap you this time.
If either one of you just moved even an inch forward your lips would touch. You see Choso’s lips part when–
“Yo! Hands off my girl, freakshow!” 
“Dean!?” You pulled back out of Choso’s embrace, floored to see your boyfriend and some more of his football buddies heading towards you as you knew they still should have been at practice around this time.
“Oooh he’s in for it now messin’ with Dean’s girl.” Dean’s football friends snickered.
Choso audibly breathes out in exasperation. The moment was ruined and he really didn’t have the patience to deal with your neanderthal boyfriend and his football lackeys who all shared a singular brain cell. 
Didn’t they have a ball or something to chase?
“Uh hey, Dean I..” 
You stop yourself when it’s clear Dean is ignoring you entirely as he approaches the table. Not even looking your way to greet you. 
His aura oozes faux tough guy bully and walks straight up to Choso to size him up leaning on the table to tower over him.
“I’m talking to you, freak. You think you can put your hands on what belongs to me?”
Choso doesn’t look up at him but his grip instinctively tightens on the pen in his hand under the table as if it was Ghostface’s hunting knife. 
Dean’s show of bravado going ignored by Choso pisses him off even more that his teammates are with him and the tough guy act is failing to have any real effect. 
Tch. 
With a swift movement Dean knocks Choso’s coffee over on the table, its half drunken contents falling on both you, Choso and his books. 
This has Choso rising out of his seat as he thinks your boyfriend must have an unknown death wish.
Choso’s pen is still in his grasp but by his side now. It would be too easy to drive it into Dean’s neck before the dolt even knew what hit him. A bit extreme, but it could be considered an unfortunate accident of self defense if Dean struck first.
Fortunately, you stepped in between the two in order to diffuse the situation without picking up on Choso’s murderous intent. 
You chewed your lip. This was low key, your fault. You technically were dating Dean. Although Dean was always the furthest thing from your mind when you were around Choso. 
You didn’t even feel guilty for being caught as you’ve had your own suspicions for a while Dean had been cheating on you anyway, you just couldn’t prove it. You were still dating him more out of convenience than anything else, other jocks and frat boys left you alone knowing you were with him.
The only guilt you actually did feel was for Choso. This wasn’t his problem or relationship but of course Dean was a big enough asshole to make this into an actual issue with Choso since it was becoming clearer how little respect he had for you.
“Dean, what the hell is your problem!? You got coffee everywhere, this isn’t even my jacket.” 
“Don’t what the hell me Y/N, you're so fucking dumb you’re going to let this freak get in your pants when– wait you’re wearing fucking his jacket!?” 
Dean was yelling now and a small crowd was forming and starting to take out their phones to record. 
You could not let this turn into an incident.
“Dean chill the entire fuck out, would you?! It was cold, so he let me borrow it– He’s just my T.A.”
A wave of harsh realization washed over Choso. 
Just her T.A.
Right.
Choso is no one important to you, especially with your football boyfriend and social standing on the line.
He’d let whatever the fuck almost happened between the two you just now make him forget that. 
Not anymore.
“That’s right. I’m just her T.A. So if you’ll excuse me.” 
Choso turned from you both to salvage what he could of his books and leave.
You couldn’t place the emotions in Choso’s words and it made your chest tighten up. But you weren’t trying to write him or your almost-kiss off. 
You didn’t mean for it to come out that way but you really lacked the proper words in these kinds of situations.
“Where do you think you’re going, loser?”
Dean grabbed Choso’s shoulder but the intense murderous look in his eyes made Dean release him just as quickly as if he had been burned. 
Even his football goon friends unconsciously took a few steps back feeling the very real threat in Choso’s eyes. 
Choso smirked as he left. Thought so. 
“W-wait Cho–”  
You want to stop him but feel Dean’s rough grip on your wrists.
“Whatever, let’s fucking go Y/N. We have an important party to throw later.” 
Dean grabs your wrist and jerks you away with you barely being able to grab your bag. 
Your stomach twists and you are at a complete loss for words but manage to flash an apologetic look at Choso while you are dragged off. 
However when your eyes meet he looks right through you.
The expression on his face is stone cold and it sends a chill up your spine.
Tumblr media
© ʙʟᴋᴋɪᴢᴢᴀᴛ 2023. ᴀʟʟ ʀɪɢʜᴛꜱ ʀᴇꜱᴇʀᴠᴇᴅ. ᴘʟᴇᴀꜱᴇ ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ꜱᴛᴇᴀʟ, ᴛʀᴀɴꜱʟᴀᴛᴇ, ᴄᴏᴘʏ ᴏʀ ᴄʜᴀɴɢᴇ ᴀɴʏ ᴏꜰ ᴍʏ ᴡᴏʀᴋꜱ. ᴛʜɪꜱ ɪɴᴄʟᴜᴅᴇꜱ ꜰɪᴄꜱ, ᴅʀᴀʙʙʟᴇꜱ, & ɢʀᴀᴘʜɪᴄꜱ. ᴛʜᴇʏ ᴀʀᴇ ᴀʟʟ ᴍᴀᴅᴇ ʙʏ ᴍᴇ ᴜɴʟᴇꜱꜱ ᴏᴛʜᴇʀᴡɪꜱᴇ ꜱᴛᴀᴛᴇᴅ. ᴛʜᴀɴᴋ ʏᴏᴜ
Tumblr media
A/N: I promise it won't take as long for the second part to come out. I'm half way done with it already! I was just going to wait and post it all together but a like 12k+ word post all at once would be insane lmfao. After I am finished with this prompt the next 3 stories I will do will be from Thrilling Ghouls as they are all much shorter PWPs in the 3-5k range and I won't have to stress so much since I'm realizing all my Smooth Criminal prompts are longer fics and it takes me like a week or more to write them.
ღTaglistღ: @callm3senpaii @arxliana @jujutsualy @luxiethefairy @akaza-simp01 @fredswh0re @missphanosaur18 @moon-esque @samicamy-13
comment on m.list to be tagged in future Kinktober '23 stories
Reblog for Ghostface!Choso to come steal your panties although comments and likes are appreciated all the same!
PART 2
2K notes · View notes
heavenblvd · 4 months
Text
𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐑𝐒.
Tumblr media
pairings — fem!reader and rafe cameron.
summary — after rafe takes your life, he tries to move on, and simply pretends he’s the one who didn’t do so. eventually, hauntings and truths will lay themselves out to remind rafe just how sickening he is.
warning tags — adult language. details of gruesome m*rder & m*rder itself. mentions of DV relationship, (brief) child ab*se & awful parents. talks of religion and god. reader’s pov from heaven (?? just stick w the program). rafe actually going more insane than usual. overall dark content.
author’s note — this is based on and inspired by ethel cain’s song ‘strangers’ and while this song has multiple interpretations to go by, i’m taking mine by the main and common one (just without the c*nnibalism!). this also gets super dark and depressing so if you cannot bear any of it, please click off! this also isn’t revised at all so my apologies for grammar mistakes.
likes, shares & reblogs are very much appreciated ⋆୨୧ ₊゚
you had tears in your eyes, body shaking to point you thought you’d convulse. you tried to be obedient by keeping in rafe’s secret of what he had done on that tarmac. he beat you to make sure you kept your mouth shut for good.
he said, “i’ll kill you if you say one word,” and it took enough fear to believe him, but you didn’t think that day would come.
murder is an evil thing, and everyone can attest to it. rafe murdered sheriff peterkin as if she was nothing, as if she was a problem in the way. bad enough, he let john b. routledge — one of your best friends — take the fall for it.
you continued to keep your mouth shut, but after rafe tried to invade the police, ward killing himself, you didn’t see a reason to keep quiet. ward was the only reason why rafe could stay out of prison, and now that he wasn’t around, you could speak.
your father preached every sunday to live by righteousness and good, to never let evil win.
rafe was that evil. he was the devil himself.
the devil that you danced with, let make love to you, kiss you, but also beat you until stars twinkled in your vision, and your breath kept getting caught in your throat.
your mother would be horrified to know that, your father too. but it was their fault in a way that you accepted this cruelty as love; your father, especially to blame.
if love is not meant to be hit at you, does it even exist? your father showed you that when he’d slap or punch you for falling out of line, but go to church the next day, and preach about being a good servant to god.
you wanted all evil out of your life. it was suffocating, it was drowning you.
rafe had to be eliminated first.
“you killed peterkin, and i’m tired of knowing it,” you said, picking up your car keys. “we are done, and i won’t even show up to your trial when you go down for it.”
rafe just stared at you appalled and puzzled, sitting on the edge of his bed. you were close to being far out enough to your car until strong, violent hand seized you.
you screamed and kicked, not being new to this routine, only knowing that he was going to harm you.
you could never predict that his violence would lead him to murdering you.
“let me go, rafe!” you screamed, being pulled inside, your pleas and cries echoing in the empty home.
expecting to be physically berated, you were being led downwards.
to the wine cellar basement.
and for once in a while, you prayed to god, and hoped he would finally listen to you this time. that he would save his child, and perform a miracle.
but a miracle never came as rafe manhandled you, pinning you down on the cement ground of the basement.
“shut the fuck up! stop crying!” he yelled, a solid punch coming to your cheek, and you yelped, an easy gush of blood rushing out of your mouth. “you’re a fuckin’ backstabber. after everything i’ve done for you, gonna treat me like that?”
you cried, shaking your head. “r—rafe, please! i’ll be good, i’ll stop!”
“don’t trust you, little one. can’t let you ruin everything,” rafe said, reaching for something out of his back pocket.
the more you fought back, the more angry he got; the more you fueled the fire that rested in his hands and body.
before you could let out another plead, a sharp pain was made into your abdomen.
rafe stabbed you — and he wasn’t planning on stopping there.
god wasn’t there. you would show up to his gates in this condition, and ask him why he let it happen. if god is real, why did he bear witness instead of saving you?
rafe doesn’t recall killing you.
he remembers grabbing, and dragging you down into wine cellar basement, but couldn’t be able to tell anyone what happened after that. all he knows your blood was quite literally on his hand, knife shaking in his grip.
your babydoll white dress was now stained with violence and scarlet red blood.
the sight should’ve made him sick, but it didn’t. he just stared at you, breathing heavy, and it didn’t strike him until a while later that he had killed you.
rafe cameron had killed the love of his life.
he only panicked when it came to how to dispose your body, take off any evidence that could trace back to him. he was more than willing to dump your body in the woods, let any gators eat at you for supper.
he tossed your body only hours later in the depths of the woods, and it didn’t take long until you were reported missing.
of course, he was questioned first. it was easy for him to play the concerned boyfriend, crying because he also hadn’t heard from you, saying he had been texting and calling you for hours.
your parents sobbed on the news and asking anyone to come forward with any information, that they’ll give up however much money for their child to come home.
rafe just stared numbly at the television screen, a cup of scotch in his hand.
your best friends, the pogues, sobbed for days, and even started a search party for you. rafe made sure to dig you levels down in those woods when the ground was wet enough to dig up, and cover you up.
sarah cameron had a feeling her brother had something to do with your ‘disappearance’ but it was only just a gut intuition, she couldn’t prove it. she always questioned why you got with her brother, always emphasizing how horrible and violent he was, but you would tell her, “you don’t know him like i do; you don’t know how much he loves me, and takes care of me.”
kiara knew how bad rafe was — for god sake, she momentarily went to the academy around the same time he was a senior. she knew he wasn’t destined to be a boyfriend, let alone even in a fucking relationship.
the boys of the group were beyond furious, the three wanting to round up and take ahold of rafe, beat some information out of him. but they knew you wouldn’t want that, and that rafe would easily get the police to arrest them.
however, months passed, and you slowly became a memory to not only the town, but to rafe himself. he went on with his days like nothing occurred, that he didn’t violently take the life of his girlfriend.
you weren’t on his mind anymore, and he didn’t have to worry about you anymore.
or so he thought.
karma and revenge go hand in hand together; they mingle and burst out, they make sure they arrive at the doorstep of the people who deserve it.
rafe always thought getting rid of you would avoid his downfall, but the murder of you was just the beginning of it all.
he slept peacefully like he had done for a while now, with him about to drown into a deep sleep. he rested with his hands laid atop of his stomach, comfortable and at solitude, a female whisper woke him up.
he peeked around, but saw no one. he assumed he was just sleep deprived and imagining things, his eyes closing again for sleep.
“do you feel sick yet?” the voice that sounded like yours came through, more clearer and visible. he shot up, and turned on his bedside lamp.
nothing. no one. not you.
why would he have to feel sick? you were gone, you were no longer a problem.
rafe shook it off, and was able to go back to sleep.
you were angry in the afterlife. you stared at rafe from heaven, trembling with rage and regret. a man you once loved, had acted as if you never existed. you adored him, and he disposed you like garbage.
you just wanted to be his, wanted him to tell you that you were his only; that he loved you as much as you did to him, that he would change and better himself for you.
that the violence would dissipate, and his rough hands would be nurtured with love and softness.
but no. that never came, and never would.
you were taunted by your murder, burning with the need to remind rafe of how sick he was.
your violent lover let you bleed before him, and without tending to your wounds or simply sitting with immediate regret, he soaked in his actions and dismissed it.
why couldn’t he be gentle? was him painting you blue and purple not enough? did he have to go as far as killing his lover to satisfy the disdain and vexation he held for you?
was that enough? was that enough to make you enough?
rafe’s nights slowly turned interrupted and sleepless. your voice was always there, and time to time, he thought he saw you standing in his bedroom, drenched in blood and with tears streaming down your face as you kept asking him, “do you feel sick yet?”
sick. not regretful. fucking sick.
sleep deprivation was catching up to him, making him more mean and angry than usual, more out of control.
the coke wasn’t even helping either, only making everything worse.
he was at barry’s trailer, snorting endless lines of the white powder, trying to shake off the sight of you from last night.
“country club, you good?” barry asked, and rafe didn’t respond. “you don’t seem well, bro.”
“just need this shit, okay?” rafe mumbled, separating another drop of cocaine. “just… just want to sleep, need it.”
barry didn’t want to push him with more questions, minding his own business as the blond haired boy snorted up excessive amounts of lines.
rafe ended falling asleep on his couch, barry mindlessly scrolling on his own phone as he laid down on his bed.
the cold air from the air conditioner ran around in the basement, making it more freezing and chilling than usual.
rafe could smell strawberry perfume, indicating you were around. he looked around, and saw nothing of you.
“where are you!” he screamed. “you can’t scare me, you bitch!”
“i’m not here to scare you,” you talked, rafe spinning around to find you perched in the corner of the basement. you careened closer, the dim light emphasizing on your mangled body.
rafe stared at your stomach, where immense stab wounds laid on it. he swallowed thickly, his breath shaking and jagged.
“do you feel sick?” you asked, and rafe looked up at you. he couldn’t move in this dream, he was paralyzed and a witness to your lacerated body.
nausea and despair washed over rafe, almost consuming him entirely.
you were finally face to face with him, your hair disheveled and bunched, face stained with tears and runny makeup, all for him to look at.
rafe could feel your physical touch, your soft hand grabbing his, and made his palm touch your abdomen. he almost fucking threw up.
you could see it, you could see he was wanting to vomit everywhere. “am i making you feel sick?” you asked, and rafe shivered, forcing his hand to put more pressure on your stomach, blood rushing out onto it. “am i making you feel sick?”
rafe screamed and lurched up, his eyes opening and alarming barry. “woah, what the fuck, rafe!” barry shouted, and rafe breathed rapidly, his heart thumping against his chest, a need to vomit.
rafe brought his face into his hands, trying to shake everything out of his hand.
your face, your touch, your blood — he felt it all. he was being reminded of you, when he didn’t want to.
barry kept asking him what was wrong, why he was crying, if he was okay, but all rafe could focus on was your voice asking, “am i making you feel sick?”
he was no longer immune to his destruction. he was becoming infected by it. you were a disease that he couldn’t treat, a parasite that ate at his brain.
he would never get rid of you — and you would make sure that he never did.
it was month seven without you, and you became a faded name to the outer banks. the only people who lived on to tell your name was your parents, and your best friends. the pogues carved your name into the chateau’s tree, a ceremonial bench placed at the high school.
your body or you weren’t ever discovered, but the police had listed you as deceased. you weren’t a runaway, you were eighteen, and had nothing to runaway for. when you couldn’t be traced anywhere on the grid, the police pronounced you dead, and that was that.
pictures of you and any sort of evidence remained in a cardboard box somewhere in the police station. you were left to rot in every way.
you were tired of being forgotten, but more exhausted that nobody knew that your boyfriend did this, and you probably weren’t going to be the first girl he killed.
rafe cameron needed to know what he did, and you wanted to do everything you could to make him drag himself to the police station, sit down, and say, “i killed her — and i enjoyed every fucking second of it.”
madness was becoming rafe. he was already an insane, depraved fuck before, but the lack of sleep and memories of the murder were catching up to him for good.
dark circles were around his eyes, hair greasy and messy, his body tired. he felt like he was going to snap any second.
he kept drinking, smoking weed and doing coke back to back, surprised that his heart didn’t give out yet.
a random exhaustion toll pushed over him, laying him down on the floor of his bedroom, and his eyes threatened to snap shut.
he didn’t want to sleep, he was afraid to. he was afraid to see you, with your bloody dress and sad face, making him touch your wounds.
rafe didn’t win the fight of sleeping, and he knocked out cold on his bedroom floor.
he wasn’t in the basement, he was in his bedroom, and he could hear your feet padding away to the front of the house, to your car.
oh, he was reliving the night. and he couldn’t stop. he couldn’t get out of the memory — he was facing everything.
he saw you bloody by his doorframe, and you tilted your head. “why are you doing this?” he asked, his voice sounding as if he was trapped in a void.
you only frowned. “so you know.”
like a reflex, rafe hurriedly rushed over to you outside before you could get away, seizing you away, and taking you to the basement.
he pinned you down to the ground, and screamed at you to stop crying, upset and angry you were willing to betray him when he did everything for you.
you were sobbing, but it became echoes and his ears rang, everything around him becoming silent except his own heavy breathing. he grabbed the knife that sat in his pocket, and he could see your eyes widen with fear to the sight of the object.
“rafe!” you screamed in the first stab. he hit you sharp and right in the abdomen.
he held his knife there for a second, like time was freezing him, and he felt a hot breath at the side of his face.
it was you.
“am i making you feel sick?” you asked, and rafe proceeded to stab you as you sobbed. you cried out his name, trying to fight away the knife, promising to be good and for him to stop.
“am i making you feel sick?”
another stab.
“am i making you feel sick?”
another stab.
“am i making you feel sick?”
another stab.
“am i making you feel sick?”
rafe couldn’t stop, he couldn’t control himself. he kept stabbing you as you screamed. he was a monster, with the inability to suppress his anger or violence.
“am i making you feel sick?”
another stab.
“am i making you feel sick?”
another stab.
“am i making you feel sick?”
another stab.
“am i making you feel sick?”
a part you thought you were making him feel sick because of how mutilated your body was; that the body he was once desired, was now filling him with disgust. you wondered if how butchered you looked, was making him uncomfortable and sick. he didn’t deserve your concern, but it happened anyway. was it making him sick?
rafe wanted to cry, but couldn’t. he was revisiting the person he was in this moment, and could see life vanish from your eyes, death taking you away.
he took one last stab, and held it there like the first one. you kneeled in front of him, looking over at your corpse for a moment before your eyes settled into his raging ones.
he held prolonged eye contact with you as you inched your face close to his, but kept a safe distance. you placed your hand on top of his murdering one, and with a blank face, lastly asking him, “am i making you feel sick?”
rafe broke eye contact with you to look at your deceased body, and realized and remembered this murder. your organs could be nearly seen, blood gushed and poured out everywhere, your body cold and still.
he dropped the knife, and eyed you. “i’m sorry.”
you shook your head, and sighed. “you will revisit this everyday as long as you live,” you said, sniffling. “all i wanted was to be yours, and be good enough, rafe. was i no good?”
he didn’t have an answer, and with that, you got up, staring over at your body. “i want you to know,” you chuckled softly to yourself, “i never blamed you for loving me the way that you did. i forgive you, especially since i’m happier where i’m at.”
“heaven?” rafe asked.
you nodded. “you won’t make it here, but i’ll still hope and wait that you do — because i love you too much to let god be angry with you too.”
“he’s an angry man?”
“he’s angry and unfair,” you responded. “like someone i know. i loved god, i loved you; two men who didn’t view me as much, who don’t deserve for me to believe in them.”
rafe went quiet, and enough time went by for you to disappear for good to let rafe cry, and scream. he cried and sobbed, dry heaving as he vomited everywhere to the sight of you.
he killed you, and as long as he kept it to himself, you would drive him mad and insane with the knowing of it.
rafe cameron confessed to your murder only hours later. he drove himself to the police station, and confessed to every detail, telling sheriff shope where your body was.
they found your maimed body in the exact location where rafe told them it was, your body already decomposing into near bones, eaten by critters and bugs.
the earth was consuming you.
he was hated forever, the town wanted him torched or given the death penalty. it would be a while until he got a trial.
your funeral could be proper with your body in a casket, given a rightful way to be down in the ground, protected and secured by a box stuffed with silk fabric.
you could see your mom cry, and you wish she wouldn’t. your father had to give the prayer at your funeral, your best friends sobbing, and hating themselves for not getting you away from rafe sooner.
however, your death was simply inevitable. if rafe didn’t kill you, your love for him would. he was everything to you.
even when he was murdering you — getting a vile satisfaction from it — you were worried about him, if you and your maimed body was making him feel more nauseous and sick than the actual murder was.
rafe would live with the knowing that you truly loved him, and he took your life every single day that he spent in a prison block cell.
and your ghost would continue to linger and haunt him, never letting him know peace and serenity as he never did to you.
570 notes · View notes
yardimsorgulama · 2 years
Text
Canlı Yayında Green Card Başvurusu - Tek Tek Anlatım 2022 #başvuru #SONDAKİKA #sondakikahaber
Canlı Yayında Green Card Başvurusu – Tek Tek Anlatım 2022 #başvuru #SONDAKİKA #sondakikahaber
Canlı Yayında Green Card Başvurusu – Tek Tek Anlatım yazımıza hoş geldiniz. Ayrıca Canlı Yayında Green Card Başvurusu – Tek Tek Anlatım konusundaki görüşlerinizi alt kısımdan yorum olarak oluşturursanız seviniriz. #Başvuru #SONDAKİKA #sondakikahaber konusu son zamanlarda oldukça günceldir. 2022 yılı içerisinde çok popüler olan ve de farklı kişiler tarafından farklı görüşler ile sunulmuş olan bu…
Tumblr media
View On WordPress
0 notes
usadvlottery · 5 months
Text
The USA Diversity Visa (DV) Lottery is a program that allows individuals from low-immigration countries to apply for a chance to obtain a U.S. visa. To enter, applicants must meet eligibility criteria and submit an online application during the specified period. Winning is determined through a random selection process. To improve chances, applicants should adhere to guidelines, provide accurate information, and be cautious of scams. If selected, individuals go through an immigration process, offering a unique opportunity for permanent residency in the United States.
2 notes · View notes
credasmigrations · 1 month
Text
United States Announces Green Card Lottery Dates
Tumblr media
To check the status of a US Diversity Visa, visit the Diversity Visa Program website, use the Entrant Status Check, and enter your confirmation number, last name, and year of birth. This service typically opens in May following the application period. It provides the current status of your application. If selected, further instructions are given for the immigration process. It's crucial to monitor your status regularly.
1 note · View note
wishcamper · 5 months
Text
Don't Worry Feyre, Darling: the relationship anxiety to coersive control pipeline
CW: emotional abuse, reproductive abuse
Creds: licensed counselor with focus in addiction, trauma, and gay stuff; experience in group and family counseling, mandated DV clients, and abuse victim support.
Before the mob comes: I am not pro or anti Rhys, and I think his contradictions say much more about SJM than anything. I also believe it’s possible for a fandom to reclaim/rewrite a character who has been massacred by an author.
We’re going to begin at Rhys helping Feyre during an extremely dark place in both their lives. We’re going to end at him withholding vital medical information from her for the sake of “protecting her”. But first, some context.
Inside all of the (amazing) drama around the 2022 movie Don’t Worry, Darling , was a story that is pretty well worn at this point: men deciding they know what’s best for women and giving it to them whether they like it or not. In the movie, Florence Pugh’s Alice lives inside a computer simulation where she is the modern equivalent of a 50s housewife: dresses, calisthenics, martinis, “making a roast”. (She also gets eaten out by Harry Styles but that doesn’t seem to be an explicit part of the world’s design.) The problem? She doesn’t know she’s in the simulation. Harry Styles, in between all the cunnilingus, drugged her and put her in the program against her will. Yikes! Why!
The movie explains that he believed their life in the real world was miserable, and that he was saving her from that by giving her this perfect life. She should be grateful, if anything! What he doesn’t tell her, but that we see, is that Harry Styles also seems to struggle with a sense of inadequacy for not being able to provide. He is failing to live up to personal and cultural standards of manhood but, instead of dismantling those standards, he makes it his wife’s problem by kidnapping and brainwashing her consciousness. Hm. Interesting strategy. Let’s see how it works out for him.
With Rhysand, his motives in the beginning are more understandable - he initiates rescuing Feyre from the very real danger of Tamlin and her own mental decline. He feels justified breaking whatever magic law because of his own experiences being trapped and believing people should have a choice about where they go and who they are. He emphasizes over and over that these choices are Feyre’s and that she has freedom with him. We see through ACOMAF that helping her gives him a sense of purpose after the trauma UTM. His friends remark on how Feyre brought him back to life, never questioning and even encouraging this pattern.
But Rhys clearly has a lot of anxiety about his relationships and closeness in general. He mentions on several occasions that people around him tend to suffer because of him, and how afraid he is of doing that to Feyre. She is very receptive to this and puts effort into proving him wrong. He finds safety in the bubble of their relationship that probably feels pretty fucking good. The unfortunate side effect of this is that instead of processing and resolving his own anxiety, he directs it through Feyre and his love for her. Meanwhile, he keeps his anxious maneuvers behind the scenes, like not telling her about the bond, taking her to the Weaver, encouraging her to learn to read, to train. It may be genuinely helping her, but there’s also this sense of ‘I know what you need better than you do’. And again, nobody questions this.
We flirt with this tension at the beginning of ACOMAF when Rhys enforces their bargain from UTM. As the reader, at that point, we are supposed to believe this is cruel of him. He interrupts her wedding for fucks sake, throw your shoe at him girl! But over time we start to feel like it’s okay because Feyre secretly wanted it, it’s ultimately for her own good. Rhys is the most powerful High Lord in history, I’m sure he could’ve figured out a way to break the bargain, but he didn’t. In fact he engineered a situation where she'd be at his mercy. Why? Because Rhys was worried about Feyre, felt her deteriorating through the bond. Because of that, he felt justified in coming to collect. Personally, I have no opinion about whether crashing the wedding was the right or wrong thing to do. But it does set up, at least in the world of the book, that removing someone’s autonomy is okay if it’s for their own good, if the ends justify the means. In fact, that overstep ends up being the road to Feyre’s life in the NC and her love with Rhysand, a love that is so great she willingly tethers her very life to it. Even in ACOWAR we see how their relationship is a way he regulates his anxiety *cough*battlefield blowjob*cough*. He gets used to Feyre’s health and happiness being his source comfort and can continue to avoid dealing with his own shit internally.
In his seminal work Why Does He Do That?, Lundy Bancroft, a specialist in treatment of abuse perpetrators, debunks the various myths about what causes abuse and why it happens. His thesis is disarmingly simple: people abuse because they believe it’s justified. He says one of the signs of abuse escalation is “a growing attitude that he knows what is good for her better than she does”. Bancroft also notes that abuse is so hard to spot because “most abusive men don’t seem like abusers” (emphasis his) and that abusive men have periods of being charming, funny, even kind. Abusive men often don’t see themselves as such, because the strategy works for them - they feel good when they displace their emotional problems onto someone else.(1)
And then Feyre gets pregnant with a baby that could kill her. Besides the fact they really should have talked about this before trying for a baby given Rhys is mixed race (Cassian and Nesta too, but that’s a whole other post), Rhys claims a sense of ownership over his wife and child almost immediately. He’s constantly being described as smug and glowing with male pride. Even when he’s not smarmy, he’s consumed with his own ideas about protecting them and can’t hear the protests of others. We see his anxiety morph into more overt control in attempt to handle the situation. He believes he’s justified in keeping the danger from Feyre because he doesn’t want to stress her out. But that is not about Feyre, that’s about Rhys. HE is scared, HE is lost, and so he makes a decision on her behalf to lessen the burden he’s already carrying, whether he’s aware of it or not. He must keep her in a happy bubble else how is he supposed to go on.
Don’t Worry, Darling is at least critical of this ‘I know better’ motive even if the movie is stupid, and Harry Styles gets some frontier justice in the form of a whiskey glass to the back of the dome. But ACOSF condones Rhys’ actions and even insinuates our main character is deserving of death for calling him out. Bancroft writes that “part of how the abuser escapes confronting himself is by convincing you that you are the cause of his behavior”. He wouldn’t HAVE to do this if you just TRUSTED HIM.
But here’s what I think. I think Rhys has walked down a path of using his relationship to balance his internal conflict. Anxiety is a force in every relationship, but with Feyre he must maintain her beautiful life where she never worries in order to feel safe himself. I can have empathy for this, kind of - he’s suffered significant losses and it’s understandable he feels protective of those he loves. I think about celebrities with non-famous spouses, and how they avoid talking about them because they don’t want the scrutiny. I believe Rhys thinks he’s genuinely doing right by Feyre. But Rhys is so averse to his own anxiety that he can’t let himself trust anyone else to resolve it. He can’t let go of Feyre as his safe space and almost condemns her to die because of it.
And this is how, ultimately, Rhys traps himself. He tries to create a bubble where Feyre can never leave him, and ends up signing both their death warrants. I hope the world of fan fiction can redeem him, because I really don’t think Sarah can.
And yes, I know it’s faerie porn and it’s not that deep. But this is a series marketed toward an audience at risk of abuse and intimate partner violence. Bancroft lays out key points at the end of the book that feel particularly relevant to the larger conversation:
“Once we tear the cover of excuses, distortions, and manipulations off abusers, they suddenly find abuse much harder to get away with.
If Mothers Against Drunk Driving can change culture’s indifference to alcohol-related automotive deaths, we can change culture’s attitude toward partner abuse.
Everyone has a role to play in ending abuse.
If you are trying to assist an abused woman, get help and support yourself as well
All forms of chronic mistreatment in the world are interwoven. When we take one apart, all the rest start to unravel as well.”
Why Does He Do That? , Lundy Bancroft. https://ia800108.us.archive.org/30/items/LundyWhyDoesHeDoThat/Lundy_Why-does-he-do-that.pdf
61 notes · View notes
hymnsofheresy · 2 years
Text
If anyone is wanting to have a child and needs emotional and material support from a non-CPC in the USA, here is a list of resources I mostly got from this article.
All Options (Formerly known as Backline) is a pro-choice resource that provides non-judgmental, free counseling on all the options available to someone in their pregnancy and after, including abortion, adoption, and parenting. Their toll-free talk line number is 1-888-493-0092 and it’s open Monday through Friday from 10-1 a.m., and Saturday through Sunday from 10 a.m. through 6 p.m. ET.
DomesticShelters.org is the first and largest online and mobile searchable directory of domestic violence programs and shelters in the U.S. and Canada, and a leading source of helpful tools and information for people experiencing and working to end domestic violence. They aim to make it faster and easier for victims of domestic violence and their friends/family, as well as program and shelter providers, to quickly find services and information best suited to their location, language, and needs.
LoveIsRespect.org engages, educates, and empowers young people to prevent and end abusive relationships. Their free and confidential services are available 24/7: Chat at www.loveisrespect.org; Text ‘loveis’ to 22522*; or make a toll-free call to 1-866-331-9474.
Parents without Partners provides single parents and their children with an opportunity for enhancing personal growth, self-confidence, and sensitivity towards others by offering an environment for support, friendship and the exchange of parenting techniques.
Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network (RAINN) is the nation’s largest anti-sexual violence organization. Partnering with over 1,000 local sexual assault service providers nationally, RAINN carries out programs to prevent sexual violence, help victims, and ensure that perpetrators are brought to justice. Their toll-free hotline is 1-800-656-HOPE and it’s open 24/7.
Single Mothers By Choice provides peer support and information to single women who are considering, or have chosen, single motherhood. Members connect with one another through local chapters all over the US, and in Canada, Europe, and beyond.
The National Diaper Bank Network raises awareness of diaper need, strengthens community-based diaper banks, and generates donations of dollars and diapers, so that all babies remain clean, dry and healthy.
The National Domestic Violence Hotline staffs highly trained, experienced advocates to offer compassionate support, crisis intervention information, and referral services in more than 200 languages for DV survivors. Visit their website to find information about DV, safety planning, and local resources. Their toll free hotline is open 24/7 at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233).
The National Parent Helpline connects parents or caregivers of youth to local services and resources and counsels on problem-solving and personal empowerment for caregivers. Their hotline is 1-855- 4A PARENT (1-855-427-2736) and it’s open Monday through Friday from 10am-7pm PST.
The National Pro-Choice Adoption Collaborative is comprised of two non-profits: Open Adoption & Family Services and Friends in Adoption, which provides pro-choice, not religiously affiliated and non-discriminatory adoption information and counseling. Their toll-free hotlines are open 24/7 at 1-800-772-1115 (OAFS) or 1-800-982-3678 (FiA)
ChildCare.gov is a government-run program to help parents find childcare and government resources. This includes financial assistance, healthcare, and mental health resources.
Free Formula Exchange is a nationwide mutual aid network connecting families who need baby formula to people who have formula to donate.
PDF on how to create a childcare collective which is a way multiple families can collaborate with each other to provide child care.
Children's Health Insurance Program (CHIP) is a government healthcare program for children in families not eligible for Medicaid. It offers free or low-cost health insurance for kids and teens. Children can get regular check-ups, immunizations, doctor and dentist visits, hospital care, mental health services, prescriptions and more. In a handful of states, CHIP also covers prenatal care. To find information on health insurance programs call 1-877-KIDS-NOW (1-877-543-7669).
Every Mother Counts is an organization that advocates for and supports accessible maternity care, especially for WoC. They provide guidance about your pregnancy needs, such as finding an affordable doula, and information about pregnant people’s rights.
National Respite Network and Resource Center provides information for national and state respite programs. This includes a directory of various crisis nurseries which provide a temporary safe space for high-risk children without placing the child in foster care.
Hill-Burton Facilities are medical institutions that are obligated to provide free or affordable healthcare. This can be helpful when seeking prenatal and postnatal care.
U.S. Department of Health & Human Services has a list of resources on finding health assistance programs. To find free or reduced prenatal care call the toll free number Call 1-800-311-BABY (1-800-311-2229) to get in touch with your local health department.
356 notes · View notes
doberbutts · 1 year
Note
When it comes to DV, and a celebrity who has a history of it, I'm not necessarily going to believe the "well his wives have defended him" thing. Like, I don't want to take agency away from abuse surviors, but also, for a long time, I would have defended my horribly abusive ex who would lock me into rooms, pin me down while I begged to be let up, and sexually abused me. I accepted that the relationship was abusive within six months of leaving (Thank you planned Parenthood youth outreach programs), but it took me years to admit the sexual abuse, even to myself. Abuse is complex. Not all people who were abused realize it or want to admit it.
(Plus just because someone didn't abuse their spouse doesn't mean they didn't abuse others. Abusers can figure out what they can and can't get away with, and adjust accordingly, whether it's by who they target or when they abuse, like in public or waiting until they're behind closed doors.)
Yuuuuuuup. Hey I'm gunna listen to the guy who says "I wasn't a good person, I beat the shit out of the women in my life" and believe him when he says he was a monster who did bad things. Maybe he did not die a monster. But he did live as one, and DV makes it very hard to figure out exactly when the monster was finally caged.
Sharon Osbourne stayed with Ozzy and says he's wonderful and that she loves him. It is a fact that he tried to kill her. Not rumor. Not myth. Fact. They both have described the incident. He may say that he's a changed man and maybe he is. But only monsters try to kill their spouses. Whether he is currently a monster, or whether the monster has been locked away, that does not take away from the fact that he was once a monster.
It is a fact that Rihanna has forgiven Brown for what he did to her, despite the fact that he continues to reoffend with other women. She is pictured laughing and smiling and hanging out with him on a regular basis. This is common for DV survivors to get back in touch with their abusive ex, and it's also common for them to defend their actions even when the actions are truly indefensible.
So... yeah, no, sorry, my statement of "John Lennon was a monster and Beatles fans still listen to him" still stands. We do not know exactly when Lennon stopped hitting women. He cheated on his wives so it's possible the women he's talking about hitting are not the ones he ended up marrying. And while Lennon voiced regret for these actions near the time of his death, well, considering Osbourne and Brown are still alive and not murdered-to-death. But he also said he could not yet fully face or admit to the deeds of his past, that he had to be physically restrained because he almost killed someone he considered a friend in a fit of anger (the person called him gay), and he terrorized his son from his first marriage. That tells me the man was a monster for more of his life than "the one time", just like Brown, just like Osbourne.
But he sang about peace and people love the Beatles so it's fine I guess.
25 notes · View notes
yardimsorgulama · 2 years
Text
2022 Green Card Başvurusu Yapmadan İzle - Son Bilgiler 2022 #başvuru #SONDAKİKA #sondakikahaber
2022 Green Card Başvurusu Yapmadan İzle – Son Bilgiler 2022 #başvuru #SONDAKİKA #sondakikahaber
2022 Green Card Başvurusu Yapmadan İzle – Son Bilgiler yazımıza hoş geldiniz. Ayrıca 2022 Green Card Başvurusu Yapmadan İzle – Son Bilgiler konusundaki görüşlerinizi alt kısımdan yorum olarak oluşturursanız seviniriz. #Başvuru #SONDAKİKA #sondakikahaber konusu son zamanlarda oldukça günceldir. 2022 yılı içerisinde çok popüler olan ve de farklı kişiler tarafından farklı görüşler ile sunulmuş olan…
Tumblr media
View On WordPress
0 notes