#each day - so 56 hours in total

[starkidlabs]

Haha I should not have read my mums texts

[kanmom51]

JM live 1 September 2023 20:54 or 8:54 pm KST

And a little bit about JK's same day live as well.

Part 1

Cr./The creators of the media used in this post.

So we got a live from JK at the start of the day. 12:55 am or 00:55 KST, and from JM in the evening, at 20:55 or 8:54 pm KST.

One opening the days birthday celebrations (or was he?) and the other closing them (in a sense).

Do we have numbers working for the two?

Let's see.

JK's live:

Super easy. Add the 1+2+5+5=13. Then add 0+0+5+5=10.

What?

13/10.

So we get JK's special day with JM's special day. How sweet.

JM's live: Add the 2+0+5+4=11. Then add the 8+5+4=17 and down to a single digit: 1+7=8.

Guess what we get.

8/11

And if you want just a little bit more utilize the date:

1/9/23

1+9+2+3=15

and Ta-dah...

8/11/15

Oh, and if it's numbers we are talking about, and if anyone has any kind of doubt that numbers mean so so much to JM and JK, well here's another little doozy.

JM's watch. Yes, the tens of thousands of dollars worth watch he was wearing during the live.

*Screenshot taken at 3:20 min. mark.

It's a little hard to see, but the time on his watch looks to be around the 3:27 mark.

I want to remind you that JM started his live at 8:54 pm KST. JM has been in SK for months and you would think his watch would be set to KST, no?

Screen shot at 8:24 min.

Screenshot of watch at 32:56 min. mark.

Deduct the live time stamp at every one of those given moments from the time on the watch and you will go back to 3:23/4.

Why, you may ask, am I making such a big deal about this?

Well, my dear friends, this is why:

JK's time of birth tattoo, just to remind you.

JK's time of birth being 3:23-24.

Did JM set his watch to start the live at 3:23-24? JK's birth time?

Wait, but that's not the end of it.

Because JM's watch is also of significance.

Launched in 1997.

What in the effing hell?

Like, if you have another explanation please do explain!!!

Watch not working? Nope, it is, time counting as the live goes on, all from the 3:23 mark.

Coincidence? Again? That his watch happens to be set at JK's birth time, and it also, by chance, being one launched same year JK was born? JK, who's birthday happens to be on that specific day? The person who JM tells us to wish happy birthday and that it's a "wonderful day"?

Please don't continue to say this is all a coincidence. Setting your watch to a time that happens to be JK's birth time, something we have been told in the past, something that JK tattooed on his own body, hence being of significance to him, and most obviously of significance to JM as well.

JM and JK might not be saying the words out loud, but shit, they sure are being as loud as hell about what they are to each other!!!

Ok, so I mentioned in passing JK's live. His almost 9 minute live. His totally out of character shorter than short live, even more so when we are talking about a birthday live. No cake. No candles. No playlist (he told us this was just the music that he left on when he left earlier and it's still playing). No patience, lol. He came, he said hi, he told us he was out with friends he was practicing with (wonder if the reason he came live is to explain who with and why he was out and about...), said he's suffering from insomnia and he has to sleep. Did a card trick...MAGIC... Lol, and ducked. Like even his goodbye was super super short. Now, you could say he had a tight schedule, which he does, and that he has to sleep, which he does. But JK was definitley not on his way to bed when he was doing that live, nor shortly after. He was happy and super hyped, and in NO WAY shape or form about to go to bed at that point.

We need to remember that when they say they have a schedule, it's not a 9 to 5 job. Many a times their days start at noon and later and they keep on working into the early hours of the morning. That is the nature of their work. So having a tight schedule doesn't necessarily mean he has to be up at 7 or 8 am and off to the company or wherever he needs to be in the morning.

You could claim he was excited because it was his birthday, and perhaps you would be right. But if it was the end of his night, then excited what for? Bed? Where he struggles to fall asleep? Nah, I don't think so.

So yeah, I think you know where I'm going with this.

Only that this time we didn't get a photo because there was no one around to buffer.

2019 JM flies back to Seoul to celebrate JK's birthday with him. 2020 JM was with JK on his birthday eve. 2021 we don't know, they didn't tell us, we got a selfie the next day in the safety of the company - not the two together alone at JK's or JM's. 2022 JM was also with JK on his birthday eve. We got to see and hear about it just after JK's birthday, and we had Jhope there as a buffer. Why buffer? So that god forbid they aren't spending his birthday eve alone at his place, especially if it's happening year after year after year, cause you know, people would say it means nothing but at the same time it means everything.

I'm going to say it out loud, and shoot me (not literally) if you wish, but this is a hill I am willing to die on. JK wrote his birthday message and very possibly was not planning to go live that night. Perhaps he did come live because of the photos that came out of him with the fans and the info about him being out and about that night. But for whatever reason JK did go live that night it was always going to be short and sweet. And I do believe that is because he had something else planned which is not going to sleep.

I do believe whatever he had planned was with JM. Period. That's what JK was anticipating, that's what he was excited and happy for, that's why he came for a couple of secs and jolted off.

And for those that are already running to the comments screaming "but JM said he only spoke with JK the day before his birthday to wish him happy birthday" I say: hold your horses, I will most definitley get to it and explain to y'all exactly how JM did not say that by no means. Take a breath, be patient, read on, you'll see why JM said no such thing.

The two of the men having the live the same day.

It kind of felt weird that of all days JM goes live on JK's birthday. Well, maybe weird isn't the right word, but curious is more fitting.

JM wanted to come live for some time now. He says that. But then why, of all days, choose this one?

JM himself tells us he wasn't planning to go live from home that day (while on his way to fetch the mood lamp to show us).

Both lives feel unplanned, rushed and unprepared. There. I said it.

Did either of them even plan to do these lives? Or, perhaps they were a consequence of circumstances? JK wanting to clarify his outing (knowing how this fandom rolls). And JM... why JM? Well, maybe there was actually a birthday live planned? Could that be? One at the company? Us finally getting a Jikook live? Or even just a proper JK live at the company with a cake and all? But JK's schedule ran later than expected maybe? Hence one boyfie coming to the rescue and going live in his stead?

All of the above is questions, queries, possible explanations as to why JM decided to go live from home on JK's birthday, even though he himself tells us this was not the plan. I don't have the answer to these questions, but it definitley does have me wondering.

Will continue this discussion with regards to JM later on in my post.

Let's get to talking about JM's live. Starting by his opening pic.

I have to tell you that first thought I had when seeing the photo was "is that JK?". The frame wasn't right, but the outfit most definitely was, lol.

And guess what?

He's wearing pants for the boys new favourite brand. I guess JM's the one wearing the pants in the house, lol. But then, are they his? They do seem a little on the bigger size.

So, first 17 minutes or so to the live JM talks a bit about not coming live for a while and how he wanted and yet didn't because he's been going through a bit of a personal journey. Not doing well enough in his March promotions, in his mind, had him frustrated and unhappy with himself. Him wanting to restart rather than fix what he feels might be lacking. Kind of resetting himself per say as an artist? In any case he's been doing a lot of introspection. I guess I've mentioned that already, lol. The feeling I got from what he was telling us is that he himself didn't know how to explain what he wanted to tell us. His words not thoroughly thought out, perhaps another sign as to him going live unprepared and before properly thinking out what he wanted to tell us.

JM talks about being at the Dior event. Being nervous and awkward. Also wanting to thank fans that came to see him.

JM is asked multiple times about his hands. Oh my, those hands.

And when I say multiple times, I mean MULTIPLE times, lol. And JM keeps reading those comments and keeps answering again and again and again that it's a scrape from him working out, doesn't hurt, not to worry. At one point, after he is talking about JK's birthday, telling us it's a wonderful day, lovely smile on his face, and asked yet again, he 'bites back' (if you can call if bite back, lol), telling the commenter to look for it later (as in go watch the live from the start when it's over and they will find out).

Is this the right time to discuss JM talking about JK's birthday?

I think it is.

At around the 18 minute stamp time this goes down:

He says Jungkookie, btw.

From the moment he said JK is very busy (he looks at the camera) and up to this point, when he talks about JK's health, not once does JM look at the camera. His eyes were all over the place. And that includes not looking at the camera when he said "I talked to him on the telephone yesterday too".

Remember this?

@dgtn brought this to my attention. JM's eye movement in this part of the live reminds of his eye movement while thinking just before he goes for the kill with JK and the "did you answer them".

Here's JM talking about Jungkookie's birthday. Look at his eyes.

(But that smile at the end...)

JM was definitely deep in thought as to what to say, how to word what he wanted to say for JK's birthday.

Several things to note.

Where to start?

I guess I'll start from the obvious.

People jumping on the wagon: "JM didn't see JK on his birthday. He said so. He said he talked to him yesterday...(to wish him happy birthday?)".

Me, I'm calling the bull.

And I will explain it to you too (foreshadowing).

JM, as usual, is very precise how he words what he wants to say.

His words in this instance:

He mentions JK's birthday today, tells us he's very busy and then says "I talked to him on the phone yesterday too..." and back to "he's really busy..."

"I talked to him on the phone yesterday too..."

Let's take this apart, why don't we?

JM spoke with JK on the phone.

The conversation happened yesterday.

What did they talk about? He doesn't tell us. But mentioning JK being busy before he talks about the phone call and after he talks about the phone call. It feels like this is what he is telling us they spoke about.

So far so good, right?

And then we have two words/things said/or not said that are EVERYTHING here.

One word that he says, the other something that is not said and, at least to me, is super loud and super important and was omitted purposefully.

First word is "too".

I talked to him yesterday too...

TOO.

Leaving the context of the sentence open to interpretation.

Could be any of these:

I talked to him yesterday too just like I speak to him every day?

I talked to him yesterday too because I spoke to him today as well?

I talked to him yesterday too because I was also seeing him later on as well to celebrate his birthday with him?

As for what was missing, well to me it was quite obvious.

JM does not tell us that he wished JK happy birthday.

There was no "I talked to him yesterday too and wished him happy birthday".

JM makes sure to tell us he spoke with JK yesterday (which is not on JK's birthday). Makes sure to add the TOO, but forgets to say that's also when he wished him happy birthday? I think not.

JM is super measured. He is so very careful in what he says and how he says it, especially when it comes to JK. This man not saying it means the words were added or omitted on purpose. And not telling us he wished JK happy birthday in that phone call, well, makes it clear that the phone call in question was definitley not the end of it. Because there is no way in hell that JM would not wish JK happy birthday personally (not via an IG post that JK wouldn't see anyway not being on IG).

Since when would JM not wish JK happy birthday? The man is telling us to wish JK happy birthday, telling us it's a wonderful day, setting his watch to JK's birth time. The man that flew back from Paris to be with JK on his birthday. And also let us know he did it. He wouldn't have wished JK happy birthday himself? And this man wouldn't tell us so either?

Nah. This is JM telling us he spoke with JK, something he does all the time, and that the conversation he's talking about has nothing to do with JK's birthday.

And yeah, by omitting that he's also letting us know that he had another opportunity, one he isn't letting us in on, in which he got to wish JK happy birthday.

PERIOD!

JM talking about JK looking after his health. The way those two worry about each other.

Did I mention the pause as JM finishes talking about JK? It being a wonderful day? The smile on his face?

Oh, and JK mentions JK's birthday once more at the end of the live as well when summing up the live.

Thank you JM for reminding us once more it's JK's birthday and that it was one of those things in your live worth mentioning in your own recap of the live.

Now, I know that there are idiots that are dragging Mingyu for saying he met JK yesterday (on his birthday) and ate with him.

Well, dragging Mingyu on the one hand for what? Saying he met up with his friend on his birthday? That by doing so he was dissing JM? And others, on the other hand, using this, very stupidly, to prove that a busy JK would rather meet up with Mingyu than with JM.

Are we forgetting what JM told us? Well, JK too? That JK is super busy? Most likely in the Hybe building. You know, where Mingyu also comes to work, being in Seventeen, another Hybe band. Could they have met up at Hybe? Of course they could have. Could they even maybe have met up for a meal break at Hybe? Of course they could have. Mingyu was doing the live in a company car, probably on his way home from work looking super tired. So yeah. Chances are that they met at Hybe.

And as for JM, well, you already know where I stand on that one.

JM and JK most definitely saw each other on JK's birthday. Most likely right after JK's live.

Ok, this one is getting a little too long. So I think I'll leave you all here at the moment, let it all sink in, and come back with a part 2 that will include our little house tour and a few more interesting points - well for me at least, lol.

To be continued...

[thosearentcrimes]

The Achaemenid/First Persian Empire is kind of wild. At the time of its greatest conquests it was the largest empire the world had ever seen, by a significant amount. Like any good empire it's a triumph of logistics, of course, but what's unusual is the character of the logistics in question. The kinds of empire we're used to are generally either basically maritime (Roman, Spanish, British, American) or basically horselord (Xiongnu, Parthian, Mongol, American) or Chinese (special case, the general tendency for there to exist a Chinese Empire is impressive in its own right but relatively familiar).

The Achaemenid Empire touched a lot of seas and bodies of water (Indus, Indian Ocean, Persian Gulf, Tigris and Euphrates, Red Sea, Nile, Mediterranean, Aegean and Bosporus, Black Sea, Caspian Sea) and certainly these would have been used to facilitate logistics to some degree (Persian invasions of Greece relied on naval support, for example), but it certainly seems like the fundamental lifeline of their state was their extensive system of roads. The Romans talk a big game about their road system but ultimately the major logistical corridors of the Roman state were maritime and riverine. The Inca Empire was similarly road-based, likewise a hilly/mountainous region, and is also extremely cool, but didn't last nearly as long and was much smaller.

Herodotus says: "There is nothing mortal that is faster than the system that the Persians have devised for sending messages. Apparently, they have horses and men posted at intervals along the route, the same number in total as the overall length in days of the journey, with a fresh horse and rider for every day of travel. Whatever the conditions—it may be snowing, raining, blazing hot, or dark—they never fail to complete their assigned journey in the fastest possible time. The first man passes his instructions on to the second, the second to the third, and so on." A different translation of a section of this passage is famously associated with the US postal service.

Herodotus may be wrong in the details because the actual intervals between adjacent waystations seem to have been on the order of 16-26km, a distance a rider could reach in an hour (and perhaps most relevantly, a pedestrian or army might reach in a day), and as such it's certainly plausible horses were changed more than daily, as is attested in later relay postal networks, but it's easily possible he was right about their incredible speed. A perhaps somewhat generous estimated speed of government messages along this route is ~230km/day, by analogy of the pirradazish to the Pony Express and barid systems. This would make them faster than Roman communications, though certainly we have to recognize that maritime transport is ultimately faster and more convenient for trade in bulk goods and food. All figures taken from H.P. Colburn, "Connectivity and Communication in the Achaemenid Empire" Journal of the Economic and Social History of the Orient 56 (2013).

That's so cool! It's several hundred BCE and they have a complex permanent relay system with stations every couple dozen km, on a system of roads running throughout an empire thousands of km from center to edge. Just for one road, like the Sardis-Susa section that the Greeks usually talk about, that's over a hundred stations, each with a stock of supplies, backup mounts and riders, accommodations, anything else they might need, and Sardis-Susa was just one possible road stretch among many. That's incredible! I wish we knew what the people who made it and ran it thought. What was the life of a gas station attendant waystation operator in the reign of Artaxerxes I like?

It's kind of tragic that the Achaemenid Empire has been marginalized historiographically for so long. Generally it was treated as significant for its invasions and meddling in Greece, for ending the Babylonian captivity, or for providing a ready-made empire for Alexander to take over. It's not nothing, other places and time periods end up with much less of an imprint on our contemporary understanding of the past. We know a lot of cool stuff. But I wish we had more reflections on Persia from within. Most of what we seem to have is reports from Greeks, fragmentary letters and steles, and precious few excavation sites.

[iibonniee]

Self Care

Pairing: Lee Minhyuk x Reader

Genre: Smut

Warnings: unprotected sex, fingering, oral (fem receiving),

Rating: R

Word Count: 5.5k

Summary: After almost what feels like weeks of non-stop studying and taking finals, Y/N finally decides to invest in what everyone calls "self-care”. Little did she know her dearest best friend would show her his idea of self care.

Masterlist

The only thing that sat heavily on her mind was self-care. After weeks of almost back-to-back studying for finals, she knew she’d probably fail from procrastination alone; her body felt great, melting into her pleasantly soft couch. She knew she would need to get up if she wanted to do something of that nature called self-care. Still, the sofa had been calling her name after she blew it off one too many times in favor of her office chair and a dim light that hardly helped her focus on the text from the books.

After the finals, she enjoyed some time with friends, laughing about “how easy that final was.” She, of course, lied straight through her teeth to fit in with her laughing and slightly intoxicated friends. That final was absolute hell, and if she could, she’d totally find the professor’s house and tell them they should quit their jobs simply because what the fuck? Never mind the fact that she blew off all her friends in favor of studying.

Her lips pursed, remembering how her dearest friend Minhyuk had messaged her just hours ago. Instead of responding, she simply swiped the notification away for the fifth time that day. What could she say? Those finals tore through her, and now the simple fact of being around any single person deeply disturbed her. But thinking about practically blowing the man off, even with a schedule more packed than her, made her feel slightly terrible.

Her predicament was this: she was sitting – laying – very comfortably while her phone was peacefully resting on the coffee table just inches from her. She could, in theory, simply reach out for the phone and message him back. Surely, he would only lay into her a bit because “Best friends don’t leave each other on delivered for more than an hour. You know I break the rules just to message you back.”

Scratch that; he totally would lay into her.

The puff she let out was more than audible, and she swore the creaking in her bones was just as loud. Studying with work should be considered a sport. Her phone was cool to the touch, and as she had guessed, the male in question had sent her just about 5 messages for almost every single hour that had passed.

Reading his messages over, she couldn’t help but laugh loudly, thinking about the main vocalist tripping. At how she knew he’d tear the duo a new one just for bringing it up almost every couple minutes, thinking it was the funniest thing to date. The guilt was starting to eat at her for simply ignoring him.

09:16 a.m.: Y/N: wish me luck on my final 🤞 professor choi said it would be difficult as hell (not his exact words, but he was basically saying just that), so if i don’t ace this, blame my procrastination

09:17 a.m.: Minhyuk:  i can just picture your face now, sweating and pulling that super weird and questionable face you do whenever you’re thinking too hard 😂

10:46 a.m.: Minhyuk: i purposely waited more than an hour. how did you do?

11:28 a.m.:  Minhyuk: did you procrastinate so hard you died?

12.33 p.m.: Minhyuk: kihyun tripped down the stairs. me and hyungwon thought it was hilarious. imagine you messaged me back, and you could be laughing about it instead of me and him. you should be jealous of hyungwon

2:40 p.m. Minhyuk: earth to y/n?? i’m missing you! this is important

5:32 p.m. Minhyuk: i can’t believe procrastination took my best friend like this

The time was just shy of 8. She knew if he checked, he’d see she had read his messages and begin to think of a well-worded 5 paragraph essay as to why what she did was absolutely fucking rude. Deciding that rather than dealing with the bullet, she would try to avoid it.

7:56 p.m.: Y/N: don’t hate me…

7:56 p.m.: Y/N: i may have gotten dragged out with some friends from class to get “celebratory drinks”. believe me, i was going to message you back 🤗

She watched the message go from “delivered” to read in seconds. Her heart felt like a drum against her ribcage. Her eyes were glued to the screen like fresh glue. Like a child ready for her parents scolding, she waited with bated breath for his reply. The silence that stretched on was suffocating, the seconds ticking by like hours in her mind. She mentally composed a hundred excuses, each more dramatic and apologetic than the last, the nails of her free hand digging into the palm as she braced herself for the inevitable.

7:58 p.m.:  Minhyuk: dragged out, huh? guess those drinks were more important than letting me know you’re alive

The words stung like salt on an open wound, a sharp contrast to his usual playful banter. She could practically hear his voice in the text, tinged with annoyance that didn’t quite mask the concern behind it. She cursed at her screen, mentally chastising herself for her thoughtlessness.

7:58 p.m.:  Y/N: i’m so sorry minhyuk, today was a mess and i lost track of time. i didn’t mean to worry you or be rude

Her fingers hesitated over the send button before she finally pressed it, releasing a sigh that did nothing to ease the tension from her shoulders. She dared not to look away from the conversation, the panic turning her stomach into knots.

The dots appeared and disappeared, a sure sign he was typing, re-typing, his response proving he too was unsure of what to say. The wait was agonizing, her anticipation painted with shades of regret and anxiety. It was the kind of suspense that could only come from caring too much about someone’s opinion, about someone’s feelings.

8:00 p.m.:  Minhyuk: you’re lucky i care enough not to stay mad at you. don’t do this again y/n, it’s not just me, okay? we all worry.

Reading his response, a mixture of relief and guilt washed over her. Relief that he hadn’t completely unleashed his frustration on her, and guilt that she had caused him to worry in the first place. The knots in her stomach began to loosen, albeit slowly, as a crescent of gratitude rose amid the chaos of her emotions. 

8:00 p.m.:  Minhyuk: how did you do on the test? 

8:01 p.m.: Y/N: i think i passed? if i don’t pass, i’m going to my professor’s house and bitching him out. but since it’s all done now, i’ve been thinking about giving myself some self-care

8:02 p.m.: Minhyuk: like all those stupid videos you see?

Her thumbs hovered over the phone’s keyboard, the blue light casting ghostly shadows on her fingers. She drew in a breath as if about to dive underwater, aware that admitting her struggles to Minhyuk felt akin to exposing a vulnerability she often kept veiled.

8:03 p.m.:  Y/N: yeah, something like that. finals really did a number on me. my shoulders are up to my ears in tension. could really use one of those self-care days.

She sent the message out into the void between them, a digital confession that carried more weight than the characters it was comprised of. Her phone was a lifeline, a barrier, and a bridge all at once. Her screen flickered with the indication that he was replying, and she felt her pulse escalate, the anticipation tantamount to the moments before a storm broke.

The typing indicator blinked. Then.. stopped. She couldn’t help the frown that crept onto her lips. Were her problems too trivial? Too human for the idol facade he often wore?

But then, almost teasingly, the typing resumed. Her heart danced to the rhythm of his unseen keystrokes, a delicate waltz of hope and anxiety.

8:05 p.m.:  Minhyuk: i could come over? offer you some... exclusive minhyuk-brand self-care tips.

The message was light-hearted, a classic Minhyuk approach to her distress – humor laced with the promise of comfort. She couldn’t help the small smile that broke through, even as a blush warmed her cheeks.

8:06 p.m.:  Y/N: oh? and what kind of self-care tips are those?

The faintest feeling of daring bubbled inside her. To flirt with the boundaries of their rapport seemed reckless, yet the adrenaline of it was intoxicating. Minhyuk’s reply didn’t come instantly this time, and the silence stretched just enough to fan the flames of her curiosity.

8:09 p.m.:  Minhyuk: i could make you cum. i heard that’s a great way of relaxing and relieving tension.

The heat spread across her face way too fast for her liking. She knew Minhyuk. The man was often brutal when speaking honestly. Still, behind that brutal honesty, he was often gentle, a softness that he reserved for the quieter moments between them. It was that duality that had always drawn her to him, that fine line he walked between audacity and tenderness.

Y/N stared at the screen, the words blurring as her heart hammered. Was he serious? There was no way to gauge the sincerity of his tone through text. Still, a part of her, perhaps secretly hoping for a bit more than friendly banter, conjured up a thrilling image of him following through. In front of her, eating her out to relieve her stress. She swore he had talked about it before. Something about how Hoseok helped someone out and not in a work-friendly manner. Had he meant the same way?

She was about to type a response, her fingertips shaky with a mix of nerves and anticipation, when a new message popped up.

8:12 p.m.:  Minhyuk: unless... you’re already thinking about it?

The playful tease was evident even through the digital text, and she stiffened, caught utterly off guard. Yes, she was thinking about it, but the fact that he could call her out so accurately sent a jolt through her. Her pulse raced, the mixture of embarrassment and excitement causing a delicious tension within her. She found herself at a crossroads of confusion and desire. Trying to regain some semblance of control over the situation, she decided to play along, if only to see where this would go.

8:12 p.m.:  Y/N: idk, is that what you recommend to all your friends when they’re stressed? 

Her response was nonchalant, an attempt to mirror his teasing while her mind whirred with the possibilities. She waited, breath held, for his answer, utterly unaware of how this conversation might change everything.

8:12 p.m.:  Minhyuk: no, just you. 

She could hear his voice in that message — low, teasing, and devastatingly focused — as if he were beside her. The notion sent a tremble through her body. Her phone seemed to burn her fingertips, a virtual representation of the invisible thread tugging them closer with each message sent.

8:13 p.m.:  Y/N: and what if i were thinking about it? what then?

Her heart was pounding a staccato rhythm against her ribs. Each beat seemed to echo his name. She was playing with fire, and a part of her didn’t want to stop — couldn’t stop — even if she tried.

A pause lingered, almost too long, before his following message arrived, and it had her breath hitching in anticipation.

8:15 p.m.:  Minhyuk: then i’d say we’re thinking about the same thing. i could be over in 10.

Her breath caught in a sharp inhale, a swirl of heat and butterflies erupting in her stomach. She’d known Minhyuk was bold, but this was uncharted territory. Each message was a step further into the unknown, and she wasn’t sure if her racing heart wanted him to slow down or to bridge the distance even faster.

8:16 p.m.:  Y/N: you wouldn’t dare.

It was a challenge, the kind of throwdown she’d seen in the charged space between two people in movies, the type that always led to someone’s back pressed against a wall, breaths mingling, gazes locked. She was playing her part in their little game, the script being written in real-time.

8:17 p.m.:  Minhyuk: try me.

And he added a winking emoji for good measure. A bold, ridiculous little symbol that shouldn’t have the power to increase her heart rate, but it did. It really did.

8:18 p.m.:  Y/N: …

She was lost for words; the ellipsis was all she could manage as a flurry of thoughts bombarded her, each of them an image of possibility. Her body was alight with unsaid promises, every nerve ending buzzing as if the warmth of his tease had a tangible touch. The air felt charged around her, heavy with the electric potential of ‘what if.’ Was she ready for the ‘what if’ to become reality? The next few moments would tell.

8:18 p.m.:  Minhyuk: say the word, and i’m there. i could have you cumming so hard you forget about that final. with my fingers, mouth, and cock. 

The audacity of his words sent a jolt through her, a storm of heat and shivers cascading down her spine. She read his message once, twice, thrice, each word emblazoning itself into her mind, conjuring images more vivid than any fantasy she’d dared to entertain.

Her fingers hovered over the keyboard, a dozen responses racing her mind. She knew Minhyuk, his sweet smirks, and the playful glint in his eye. But this was a new dance, where he was both the lead and the tempo, and she was swept up in the rhythm.

8:19 p.m.:  Y/N: you talk a big game. what makes you think i’d want that?

It was a deflection, a coy invitation for him to prove his point, and part of her thrilled at the boldness of her own words. All around her, the room hummed with the tension of a prelude to something momentous.

Minhyuk replied quickly, stoking the embers that danced beneath her skin.

8:19 p.m.:  Minhyuk: because i know you. because i’ve seen that look in your eyes that screams yes even when your lips are biting back the words. i’ve known you for years, y/n. i know what makes you tick. i just don’t say anything.

Her heart was soaring and plummeting all at once, caught between nerves and an exhilarating sense of inevitability. Minhyuk was as deft with his textual innuendos as he was with every other facet of their relationship — constantly pushing, always knowing just how far to go.

8:20 p.m.:  Y/N: if i say the word... do you promise to keep yours?

She was still questioning, still testing the waters, but the thrum of excitement in her blood was yielding to the magnetic pull of his promise. There was a potent sense of surrender threading through her words, a submission to the torrential desire she could no longer deny.

8:21 p.m.:  Minhyuk: i keep my promises. always. especially to you.

That was all it took. She sat, heart racing, a cacophony of longing ringing loud in the quiet of her room, and she realized she wanted the reality far more than the fantasy.

8:22 p.m.:  Y/N: come over.

Sent. 

The word lingered on the screen, heavy with implication and as momentous as crossing a threshold. As the message —come over — fades from the screen, Minhyuk feels a surge of exhilaration pulse through his veins. His heart drummed a rapid beat, and he let out a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding. There’s a smirk tugging at his lips, one of anticipation and victory mixed with a raw desire he’s only ever shown to her. 

8:23 p.m.:  Minhyuk: i’ll be there in 10. get ready for me.

Sent. 

The words, simple yet laden with his intent, dart through the digital space — a promise swiftly turning into a plan of action. He grabs his keys, phone, and composure — though the last seems fragile, like a thin veneer over the tumultuous wave of want coursing through him.

Meanwhile, her palms press into the plush fabric of the couch, her breaths coming out in short, deliberate gusts. Her eyes dart to the door and then to the phone. A carousel of feelings spins within her: excitement, trepidation, desire, doubt. One moment, she feels a giddy joy bubble up from her stomach; the next, nail-biting anxiety clenches at her throat.

She gets up, paces, and sits back down. The room feels smaller, as if the walls are inching closer with each second that ticks by. Cracks of light from the fading evening stretch across the floor, painting elongated shadows that mimic her tangled emotions.

8:25 p.m.:  Y/N: okay, i’ll be waiting.

A part of her wonders at her own audacity. How easy it was to type those words, yet how profound the impact. It’s a seismic shift, an invisible line crossed, the soft click of a door unlocking — whatever it may be, their relationship won’t be the same after tonight.

She lights a candle, the flicker of the flame casting a warm glow in the living room. It’s a vain attempt at nonchalance as if to say, ‘I do this all the time,’ when, in fact, her heart’s racing like it’s her first-ever date. Her mind plays and replays the possible scenarios, each as vivid and nerve-wracking as the last. Then, she blows it out. Her mind going a mile a minute. This was probably just going to be a quick fuck session. Nothing more.

And then, as the minute hand inches obligingly towards the half-hour mark, every nerve in her body seems to stand on edge, her senses heightened to the rapid-fire staccato of her heartbeat. It is equally the most terrifying and exciting countdown.

Three heavy and loud knocks greet her once-silent apartment. The knocks seem to reverberate throughout her apartment, a thunderous declaration that shatters the quiet anticipation. She freezes, every muscle coiled with an energy akin to the electric charge of a brewing storm. The moment she’s been swinging between dread and desire is now palpable, as imminent as the next breath.

Time seems to stretch these seconds to minutes as she gathers the courage to pad across the hardwood floor. She feels every fiber in the woven rug underfoot, every whisper of the evening air that sneaks through the cracks of her haven. With each step, her heart is both a traitor and an ally, pounding against her chest in nervous fervor.

Her hand hesitates briefly at the door handle, a transitional talisman that stands between what was and what could be. The cool metal sears her skin, starkly contrasting the warmth flooding her veins. She’s vulnerable, exposed, and yet the thrill of it sets her alight — a moth to flame, a siren to the sea.

Swallowing the tightly bunched nerves in her throat, she flings the door open with a quiet determination. It’s her choice, her call to make.

And there he is — Minhyuk — looking every bit the tempest she feels inside. His eyes are hooded, heavy with a desire that mirrors her own, and his lips part slightly, as if every breath he takes is borrowed, meant for this moment alone. His hair is a charming disarray, a testament to the fingers that have raked through it in impatience, want, or both.

His gaze latches onto hers immediately, an invisible yet unbreakable link snapping taut between them. He wastes no time and no words. As if pulled by an irresistible force, he steps into her apartment, closing the space that had stretched unfathomable just seconds ago. With a surety that only Minhyuk possesses, he wraps an arm around her waist and pulls her close.

Everything in her screams to melt into him, into the kiss they’ve both implicitly promised each other through screens and silent longings. Her lips part in an intake of breath, a silent invitation.

He meets her halfway, and the kiss is a collision of every unsaid confession, every smoldering glance, every midnight thought. It consumes her, a fire that she’s stoked with every heart race, every blush, every time she dared to look at him and see more than just her best friend.

He nudges her towards the couch, his fingers gripping her hip as she sinks down onto its cushions. Her eyes lock onto his, desire smoldering beneath her gaze. He moves in closer, tracing the curve of her neck with his lips as he inches lower, his hand sliding up her thigh. She gasps as his fingers brush against her damp underwear, her body arching into his touch. His lips find hers, their kiss deepening as his hand works its way inside her panties, stroking her already swollen core. 

“Fuck,” he whispers against her mouth, “you’re wet.”

She moans softly, unable to tear her eyes away from his as he slowly pulls down her panties and tosses them aside. He kneels between her legs, running his tongue along the length of her slit before plunging it deep inside her tight heat. She bucks against him, crying out in pleasure as he thrusts his tongue in and out of her hungrily. His fingers find their way back to her clit, circling it expertly as he sucks harder on her folds. 

She’s never felt anything like this before; he knows exactly how to drive her wild with need. And how he looks at her — like she’s something precious yet completely surrendered — makes her heart race and throb between her legs. 

“Soon, you’ll be forgetting all about that final while I make you cum over and over again. How do you want to cum the first time? With my mouth or fingers?”

The sound of his voice sends chills down her spine. She can feel his hot breath on her pussy, his tongue dancing over her sensitive nub. Her eyes roll back in pleasure as she responds, “Fingers, please.”

With a smirk, he removes his fingers from her dripping pussy and starts massaging her clit, using his thumb to apply pressure and flick it gently. She squirms and whimpers, desperate for release.

“Do you want me to stop?” he asks, a voice full of taunting innocence.

“No! Please don’t stop,” she pleads, her eyes squeezed shut.

Satisfied, he continues his assault on her clit until she’s writhing in ecstasy, begging him to finger her. He smiles wickedly, knowing he has complete control over her.

“Please finger me. I need it so bad,” she begs, her voice hoarse with need.

He chuckles darkly and leans in close to whisper in her ear. “Of course, princess. Whatever you want.”

With that, he slides two fingers inside her tight pussy, curling them up to hit her G-spot just right. She cries out in pleasure, her body shaking as he pumps his fingers in and out of her. He adds a third finger, stretching her wider and hitting deeper. She moans louder, her hips bucking wildly against his hand.

“Are you gonna cum for me?” he teases, his voice low and gravelly.

She nods frantically, unable to speak through the waves of pleasure washing over her. He grins and increases the pace of his fingers, rubbing her clit with his thumb. She cries out again, her entire body tightening as she reaches the brink of orgasm.

“Cum for me, baby girl,” he growls, his voice filled with possessiveness.

She gives in, surrendering to the overwhelming sensations coursing through her body. She comes hard, screaming his name as her entire body shakes and trembles. He keeps pumping his fingers, letting her ride her orgasm out.

She gives in, surrendering to the overwhelming sensations coursing through her body. She comes hard, screaming his name as her entire body shakes and trembles. He keeps pumping his fingers, letting her ride her orgasm out. Her breathing was heavy as she tried to catch her breath. He allowed it only for a moment, letting out a gasp as his mouth replaced his fingers.

“I told you I’m going to make you cum with my mouth. I need to taste you.”

Her body quivered and shook as his tongue danced along her clit. Her hands tangled themselves in his hair, holding him closer. His tongue was relentless. He sucked hard, licking faster, flicking her clit harder and harder. She could feel herself getting closer and closer to another orgasm. His fingers slid inside her once more, and he began to pump them in and out of her, his tongue still working overtime on her clit. The sensation was too much. She screamed out his name and came hard once again.

With a savage growl, he buried his face between her trembling thighs, his tongue lashing out at her swollen clit with unrestrained hunger, wanting to get another orgasm from her. She gasped, her fingers tightening in his hair as he devoured her pussy like a starving man. His tongue danced and flicked, tracing wet circles around her sensitive bud before sucking it hard into his mouth. 

“Fuck, yes,” she moaned, grinding her hips against his face. “Don’t stop, don’t ever stop.” 

He growled again, the vibrations sending shockwaves through her body as he doubled down on his assault. His fingers slid inside her, pumping in and out with an almost brutal intensity. She could feel herself tightening around him, her orgasm building like wildfire. 

“You like that, baby?” he rasped, his voice thick with lust. “You like it when I fuck you like this?” 

“God, yes,” she whimpered, her fingers digging into his scalp. “More, give me more.” 

He chuckled darkly, his tongue flicking faster, his fingers pumping harder. She could feel her legs shaking, her body trembling with the effort of holding on. And then, with a final flick of his tongue, she shattered. 

“Oh, fuck!” she screamed, her back arching off the couch as wave after wave of pleasure crashed over her. He didn’t stop, didn’t let up, his tongue and fingers working her through her orgasm until she was boneless and spent.

“Is that so?” he replied, his voice husky with desire, his brow raised in surprise, a smirk pulling at his lips.

She nodded, her eyes never leaving his. “I want you to take me,” she said, her voice low and seductive. “I want to feel you inside of me.”

Without another word, he rose from the couch and pulled her towards him. Their lips crashed together in a feverish kiss as he guided her towards the bedroom. They stumbled through the door, their hands frantically tugging at each other’s clothes until they were both naked and pressed against the bed.

He pushed her onto the soft mattress, his body covering hers as he claimed her lips once more. She moaned into his mouth as he trailed kisses down her neck, his hands roaming over her body with possessive hunger.

“You asked for it,” he said, his voice barely audible. He growled, his hands gripping her hips as he positioned himself at her entrance. 

And then he was inside her, filling her completely. She gasped, her nails digging into his back as he began to move. He fucked her hard and fast, his hips slamming into hers with bruising force. She could feel every inch of him, his cock hitting her in just the right spot. 

“Harder,” she begged, her voice breathless. “Fuck me harder. I want you to keep your promise to me.”

He growled, his fingers tightening on her hips as he complied. She could feel herself building again, her orgasm coiling in her belly like a spring. And then, with one final thrust, he sent her over the edge. 

“Oh, God!” she screamed, her body convulsing as wave after wave of pleasure washed over her. He followed her over, his own orgasm tearing through him like a storm. 

When it was over, they lay tangled in each other’s arms, their bodies slick with sweat and satisfaction. “Fuck. That was good.”

“I aim to please,” he said, his voice smug. He then chuckled, his hand stroking her hair. 

“You’re insufferable,” she said, but her tone was affectionate. Rolling her eyes, a soft chuckle left her lips as she turned to look at him. At that moment, they felt like lovers. Not two best friends who had probably just broken so many rules and fucked. That was perhaps the first rule as best friends. Not fuck. “Min, can I ask you something?”

Silence filled the room—a loaded, thickening quiet pressed against their skin even as they basked in the afterglow of their indiscretion. The sheets clung to their intertwined limbs, a shroud of evidence to the line they had just obliterated.

“Yeah, anything,” he responded, still close enough that his breath danced across her skin.

Her voice, when it next came, was a poignant mix of vulnerability and resolve. “Minhyuk, what does this mean for us? We’ve just tangled everything up, and I can’t... I can’t just pretend we can go back to how things were.”

He felt the weight of her question settle over his chest, heavier than her hand had been moments before. Averting his gaze, he reached for levity in a situation that felt dangerously close to shifting their worlds. “Before we get into that, have you considered what you’re doing this summer? Maybe a trip somewhere could clear our heads.”

The light swat to his chest was a rebuke, her expression earnest and searching. “Seriously, Minhyuk. We can’t just ignore this.”

“You’re right,” he conceded, his voice touched by a seriousness mirrored her own. He sighed, feeling the tension in the air wraps around them tight. “We can’t. So here’s the truth — I don’t have all the answers. But I know that whatever we’ve done or will do, I don’t want to lose you, not as my friend, not as... this. Whatever this is.”

She let the silence fill the room for a beat. Unsure of their next actions. She just fucked her best friend. Her best friend of 5 years. The man who comforted her during her heartbreaks, made her laugh when she was at her lowest, the man who knew her family so well. And she loved it. 

Hell, she loved him.

“We could be friends with benefits.” Throwing the idea out there was just as risky as him leaving her apartment and blocking her number once he realized that this was fucked and should’ve never happened. But she was greedy - far too greedy for her to admit. She would rather pass away than see Minhyuk with someone. And she’s been around him for a long time to see how well he can treat someone he loves. She wants that. “Or not. We can just act like this didn’t happen.”

Her heart was a thunderous echo against her ribs as she waited for his reaction. The words hung there, suspended, a proposal that felt like the edge of a precipice. Fear twisted inside her; images of him pulling away, of a frayed friendship, flashed in her mind.

Minhyuk was silent. His eyes, dark pools of thought, fixed on her face as if trying to read the story written in her expectant gaze. Time crawled, a slow tick in an otherwise frozen room.

And then, finally, he exhaled. “Okay.”

Her breath hitched. “Okay?”

“Yeah,” he nodded, the corner of his lips tilting into a half-smile of bemused acceptance. “We can try it. Friends with benefits.”

She nearly choked on her relief. But her heart was still a galloping stallion; this was uncharted territory.

“But if we’re doing this,” Minhyuk continued, suddenly practical in the midst of their emotional tempest, “we need rules. We must be on the same page about everything to protect... this.” He gestured between them, the fragile, precious thing that was their friendship.

Her mind raced, and yet, she was hit by the sudden gravity of their decision. “Rules,” she echoed, the word bringing a semblance of safety amidst the chaos of their desire. “Rules. Okay.”

“We respect each other, always,” he started, the serious hue returning to his voice. “And if one of us starts feeling more, we talk about it—no ghosting, no pretending. Nobody can know. This is between us. Someone might complicate things. Lastly, if either of us finds someone…” He paused, his eyes searching her room before landing on her again. Clearing his throat, he continues, “We stop this. We go back to being just best friends.”

She nodded, feeling the weight of their pact settle in. “And we end things if it’s too much.”

They both knew the stakes, the gamble, but in that moment, cloaked in the night’s embrace, it seemed possible to preserve their bond while exploring these new, thrilling dynamics.

“Deal,” she whispered, a pact sealed with a mixture of anxiety and exhilaration.

The new agreement hummed between them, electric and alive. They were venturing into a maelstrom, two friends teetering on the cusp of something more, grasping at rules in a game where the heart was the ultimate prize.

“Deal.”

[gyeomsweetgyeom]

[3:56 pm]

(cw: food, Jisung mentions dying but he’s being dramatic)

BestFriend!Jisung had a bad habit of inviting himself over to your home whenever he felt like it. When he was hungry he would waltz right in and go straight to the fridge. He would come over, completely exhausted, and fall asleep on the couch without you even knowing he was there! It had become totally normal to come open the door after hearing the doorbell only for Jisung to rush right past you to the bathroom. He heard “please make yourself at home” one time and took that literally, he treated your home as if it was his.

Today was no different. He rang the doorbell, he came in and greeted you without even looking up from his phone, and settled onto the couch. He flicked through the channels, took your food, took up a whole couch, and got too comfy. Jisung had even gone as far as taking up your very comfortable couch, taking the blanket off your bed, and taking off some articles of clothes as he got more and more comfortable.

So comfy in fact that he had forgotten the outside world existed in the small world within the walls of your home. An outside world where he had other responsibilities beyond being your best friend who bothered you to your wit’s end. 

“Well, why would you come over if you had a busy schedule today?” You asked picking up the trash Jisung left on the table. Jisung’s phone had just blown up out of nowhere with messages from his group chat. Every message asked him where he was and if he knew he was late. 

“Because I forgot- I’m missing my sock!”

You moved the pillows on the couch and shook out the blankets until you found the sock. “Here,” You tossed it at his hunched over form. 

“I can’t get punished again, last time I was late I had to wash the dishes for two weeks. Oh my god...” he paused in the middle of the room, “they might make me do the laundry. Do you even know how smelly young adult males get after sweating for two hours at soccer practice? I might die.”

“How is standing in the middle of my living room helping you get to practice any faster Park Jisung?”

“This is the 4th time this month and we’re 10 days in! I’m so screwed, this is your fault!” Jisung practically wailed.

“Get out of here already! You don’t have time to stand around crying and pointing fingers. Don’t you have to go back to your place and get your equipment?” You questioned.

His eyes shot wide open, as he scrambled around even more quickly to pull on his sweater and unplug his phone from your charger. You made your way to the door and held it open as he made his way over. “I gotta go now, text you later,” Jisung rushed out. 

He leaned in for what you thought would be your usual goodbye hug, but as he pulled away you were met with something unusual. Your eyes were wide with shock as you felt your best friend’s lips on your own in a kiss that was too long to be a peck. Though you and Jisung had been friends for many years this was not something either of you had ever done with each other before. 

“Text you after practice!” He yelled out as he ran down the hallway. What was going on? Maybe he had wanted to kiss you for a while or had been planning this. He had kissed you and acted so casually afterwards that you started to overthink the friendship.

Did Jisung have feelings for you? Maybe he didn’t even realize he had done it, but that then brought up the question of why it had seemed so normal for him. Maybe he had been doing that with someone else and he got confused and kissed you instead. Your mind was running too fast for you to process every thought and reason that came up. 

On habit, you got up to answer the door when a knock rang out, eyes blankly meeting the ones of your best friend in front of you who was red in the face and out of breath.

“I don’t know why I did that and I’m sorry that I didn’t ask you first and I’m sorry if it made you uncomfortable. I never wanted our first kiss to go this way and I want to ask you to please not let my stupid action ruin our friendship. You mean the world to me and I totally understand if you don-”

You leaned up, cupping his cheeks before you placed a gentle kiss on his lips. Immediately you saw his ears turn red as he processed what had just happened. 

“Let’s talk after your practice. That is if you don’t get stuck doing the laundry,” You told him, hands still cupping his cheeks.

“After practice yeah,” he nodded along, slowly backing away from you as if his mind and heart were at battle over where he was going.

“Bye Jisung, we’ll talk later.”

[randomfoggytiger]

"You Had Nothing"

(Dedicated to @goodshipsmulder~. Merry Christmas!)

Perhaps a Part II to “Gold” 

Set during the events of Fight the Future.

*****

They’d been waiting 56 hours, 13 minutes, 10 seconds before the phone rang, loud in a room so thick with anticipation that it was nearly nauseating. Langly would have answered, but he’d just dipped to the john; and had there not been security footage to prove either way, the victor of the final frenzy-- Frohike’s stumpy grab and Byers’ uncharacteristic snatch-- would forever remain a mystery. 

Byers spat out “Lone Gunman’s headquarters--” in the same breath as Frohike’s “Mulder, is that you?”; and both were winded and heady with relief when their friend’s monotone croaked across the line, across the ocean, across the world. 

“Hey, settle down, everyone. Can’t hear you all at once.” But he was smiling-- they heard it-- and was pleased he’d been missed. 

“Is Agent Scully with you?” Frohike cut to the chase, locking his thumbs together in the half-second of silence. 

“Yeah… yeah, she woke up a couple hours ago. Doing well. Fever’ll break sometime tonight, nurses say.” 

His report was peppered with warmth and weary exultation, joy and a touch of fear fading and coming alive again, if they listened for it. The three compadres-- Langly had rejoined them, a streak of yellow lightning vaulting over cables and discarded coffee cups and a trampled donut box-- neglected further investigation in their eagerness to ask and ask and ask about what happened, were they at McMurdo, who did and didn't they and hadn't he--

“Fellas! One at a time, please.” The please was implied. “And can I get back to you on all that? We’re a bit jet lagged.” 

Byers nodded, stopped the phone from its madhouse hot-potato from one hand to another, and sighed, “Yes, of course. Get some rest, Mulder--”

“Not a chance!” hollered Frohike; and snatched it right back. “Mulder, you can’t just leave us hanging like that, especially concerning the delectable Agent Scully.” 

“Yeah, Mulder, what did she say? Bet her eyes really popped.” 

There was a pause and a long sigh and what sounded like their friend shifting positions. 

Finding it hard to judge if Mulder was amused, angry, or willfully silent, Byers tried to redirect. “I think we should let Mulder rest-- he’s had a hard couple of days.” 

Langly snorted and Frohike huffed. 

“Not until we know how Scully took his words of undying love.” 

“Yeah, Byers, stop trying to be a wet blanket. Mulder’s just evading the question.” 

They were bickering now, of course: tense days passed in total lockdown-- ear to the phone and sleeping in shifts-- wore them to frazzled ends focused on a singular purpose. Goal accomplished, their energy had to be vented elsewhere. Poking Mulder about his private life and hoping it matched the thrilling conclusion envisioned in their caffeine-marinated heads was exactly what Frohike and Langly were bent on doing; and they traded verbal blows with Byers as well as each other, three dogs scrapping for the upper hand and losing sight of their original aim the longer the battle dragged on. 

The first few mutters through the phone weren’t loud enough to snag their attention; but a forceful “Guys!” pulled them up short. 

It was Scully: authoritative, assertive, and annoyed. Deeply, deeply annoyed. 

“Agent Scully?” Byers asked, again conscious and commiserate. 

“What do you three think you’re doing?”

“What happened to Mulder?” Langly’s transparent attempts at misdirection, they hoped, hadn’t been caught by Scully. The trademark sigh-- humor them-- puffed through: they had, but their bid for Mulder's health had also, temporarily, stalled her wrath. Frohike thudded Langly on the shoulder. 

“He’s resting, actually,” she replied. “Or I assume so, since he’s scrunched up in a chair.” Her voice shifted, misdirection having worn out its bag of tricks. “Like I should be; and was until a minute ago.” 

Danger, once turned away, was doubling back with a vengeance. 

Frohike tried-- “We’re terribly sorry, Agent Scully-- we’ll let you get back to catching your beauty sleep; and I’m sure Mulder will call us in the morning if anything’s--” but even her affection for him wouldn’t deter the delectable lady’s insistence. 

“First, you three are going to explain why you were shouting about me to Mulder.” An expectant pause. "Is there something wrong?"

“Rest assured, Agent Scully, no one's in danger. We were merely….” As one, the Lone Gunman looked into every crack and crevice of the room for the right word. “...merely congratulating him. And you.” 

“...'Congratulating’.” 

“Yes, on a successful mission. And we’re sorry we disturbed the both of you. We’ll hang up now and let you rest.” 

Her winding-up breath was abruptly cut off by Frohike’s swift stab to the end button; and all three slumped, sighed, or fidgeted out their nerves. 

“What’ll it take,” Frohike snapped, swinging his arms to relieve tension, “an alien invasion?” 

“Pffft, more likely the sun burning out and the cold consuming us all,” Langly parried. 

Byers kept silent, wondered how they could so spectacularly waste another opportunity. Those were hard to come by, and with no guarantee of a second chance. 

All three silently wondered how much of their fight Scully had overheard, and how much she would piece together later.  

*****

Thank you for reading~

Enjoy!

[wibblewomble]

Ranking Ajins by Death Toll

Oh but count them I did.

Have you ever wanted a comprehensive list of Ajin deaths? Well, here is one anyways!

The list is based on manga events as I actually haven't seen the anime 😬

The ranking only includes Ajins (AKA revivable characters) because otherwise the list would be…even longer than it is and 90% of it would be no-name characters. They also MUST make an appearance (so ruling out mentioned Ajins, like the Chinese Ajin with 2,000+ deaths).

Without further ado, AJIN CHARACTERS RANKED FROM MOST TO LEAST DEATHS!

...under the cut (I’m sorry, it is very long)...

🚨CW for Ajin typical shenanigans (death, mutilation, suicide, the like)🚨

Ranking by onscreen/shown deaths

Satou (44 deaths)

Kei Nagai (35 deaths)

Kou Nakano (15 deaths)

Koji Tanaka (9 deaths) TIE

Izumi Shimomura (9 deaths) TIE

Takahashi (6 deaths)

Masumi Okuyama (4 deaths)

Shinya Nakamura (2 deaths)

Reiji Akiyama (firefighter) (1 death) TIE

Himeko Tachibana (diet member passing the Ajin bill) (1 death) TIE

Satou detractor (with the cross-body bag) (1 death) TIE

Satou collaborator (with the two IBMs) (1 death) TIE

Ranking by estimations

Koji Tanaka (5,892 deaths)

Satou (692 deaths)

Kei Nagai (347 deaths)

Kou Nakano (215 deaths)

Izumi Shimomura (9 deaths)

Takahashi (7 deaths)

Masumi Okuyama (5 deaths)

Shinya Nakamura (2 deaths)TIE

Reiji Akiyama (firefighter) (2 deaths) TIE

Satou detractor (with the cross-body bag) (2 deaths) TIE

Satou collaborator (with the two IBMs) (2 deaths) TIE

Himeko Tachibana (diet member passing the Ajin bill) (1 death)

Everyone gets +1 to account for their first death in the estimation rankings (except Satou, Kei, Kou, Izumi, Shinya, and Ms. Tachibana because their first deaths were shown and already counted in the initial ranking)

Ajin’s with too little information to estimate (at least one death)

Takeshi Kotobuki

Jun Suzuki

Dr. Smith

Jim

Satou detractor (with the glasses)

Satou collaborator (with the glasses)

✨Honorable mention✨

Kai (by technicality)

Let’s go into some more detail about each death and estimation calculations.

Deaths are listed chronologically by manga appearance. “S” means it was self-inflicted with intention. They have to be the ones to cause the fatal blow (aside from one exception, being Izumi throwing herself in front of a car). Assisted suicide, like Tanaka stabbing Satou as a demonstration, does not count as self-inflicted.

Koji Tanaka

Gunshot to head (chpt 1)

Crushed by hydraulic press (chpt 2)

Stabbed with rods (chpt 3)

Neurological experiments (assumed) (chpt 3)

Dismemberment by lab researchers (assumed) (chpt 3)

Collision trauma (used as a crash test dummy) (chpt 14)

Gunshot to head by Gen (chpt 33)

Gunshot to head by Satou (chpt 37)

Assumed reset (shoulder wound from Satou is gone) (chpt 43) S

+1 for first death (implied in chpt 13).

+1 assumed reset after being accidentally shot by Satou in chapter 41. His shoulder wound is gone and he (or the rest of the gang for that matter) probably wouldn’t wait for it to heal.

+1 assumed reset at some point after chapter 56. His leg wound—where he got stabbed by the minister's goons—disappears. Could have been forgotten about, could be he’s still walking around with it, but I think they would want to be in top shape when fighting Satou, so I’m counting it as a reset.

+5,880 for deaths while in captivity. Some were already included, but it pales in comparison to the total count. Tanaka was probably subject to experiments everyday. Let’s assume 3 deaths per hour (accounting for setup time and various death methods), 8 hours in a working day, and 245 working days in a year (Japanese work duration from Google). Which means in 10 years that’s 5,880 deaths. This is a very VERY general approximation, not taking into account probable overtime, lengthier experiments resulting in slower deaths, or extremely fast causes of death like getting shot. Regardless, with 10 years of captivity, Tanaka’s death toll is certainly the highest.

Tanaka’s total estimated deaths: 9 + 5,883 = 5,892

1 suicide, 2 estimated suicides

Satou

Stabbed by Tanaka (chpt 6)

Gunshot to head (chpt 9) S

Shot multiple times by Kei (chpt 10)

Stabbed and tossed around by Kei's IBM (chpt 11)

Shot by Tanaka (accidentally) (chpt 15)

Plane crash (chpt 19) S

Shot by SAT (chpt 20)

Shot by SAT (chpt 20)

Shot by SAT (chpt 20)

Shot by SAT (chpt 20)

Shot by SAT (chpt 20)

Shot by SAT (chpt 20)

Shot by SAT (chpt 21)

Shot by SAT (chpt 21)

Shot by SAT (chpt 21)

Shotgun to the chest (chpt 21) S

Diced by wood-chipper (chpt 35) S

Caught in explosion (chpt 36) S

Gunshot to head (chpt38) S

Gunshot to head by Kuroki (chpt 38)

Gunshot to head by Kuroki and Suzumura (chpt 38)

Gunshot to head by Kuroki and Suzumura (chpt 38)

Gunshot to head (chpt 38) S

Gunshot to head (chpt 40) S

Impaled by own IBM (chpt 40) S

Gunshot to head (after severing arm) (chpt 42) S

Jumped off Forge Safety building (chpt 42) S

Gunshot to head by gang members (chpt 47) FIRST DEATH

Decapitation by Takahashi's IBM (chpt 52)

Gunshot to head (assumed) (chpt 54) S

Shot by soldiers (chpt 54)

Shot by soldiers (chpt 54)

Gunshot to head (chpt 54) S

Blown up by C4 (chpt 54) S

Shot by soldiers (after intended suicide detonation) (chpt 55)

Gunshot to head (chpt 57) S

Bomb vest and plance crash (chpt 60) S

Bomb vest and plance crash (chpt 61) S

Bomb vest and plance crash (assumed, offscreen) (chpt 62) S

Bomb vest and plance crash (chpt 65) S

Bomb vest and plance crash (assumed, offscreen) (chpt 65) S

Bomb vest (chpt 71) S

Gunshot to head (after severing arm, assumed) (chpt 71) S

Head trauma/snapped neck from falling from heli after being shot by Manabe (chpt 76)

+40 for deaths from organ harvesting. Satou trades 10 livers, 10 kidneys, and 10 hearts for guns in chapter 8 so that’s at least 10 deaths. I don't think he would ask Tanaka to help given him being freshly released from lab experiments. Nekozawa calls him “a valued client”, it’s implied he’s done this before. Satou needed guns to save Tanaka, but aside from that we don’t know how many times he’s done this. Let’s just add another 30 deaths on top of the 10.

+540 for deaths from repeat killings by SAT. I imagine the SAT encounter until Satou’s recovery was quite fast and lasted at most 5 minutes. Killing Satou at a rate of 2 shots per second means 600 deaths in 5 minutes. Let’s subtract 60 (half a minute of deaths) to account for moments when SAT was distracted by Takahashi’s sniping.

+15 for deaths from fighting with SAT offscreen. Satou is a power house. He takes out at least 5 people for every death of his own. Slapping on an estimated extra 15 deaths from this fight since he was still tuckered out by the end.

+3 for deaths from fighting gang members (chapter 47). Though unarmed against a group of 100+ men, Satou would probably make quick work of these guys since they seem mostly untrained. Slapping on an estimated extra 3 deaths.

+50 for deaths from fighting Iruma Air Base soldiers (chapter 55-57). I’ve had enough of this dude. Let’s just add 50 more for his fight against the army base soldiers since they are highly trained, killing him without restraint, and there are a lot of them. Satou is also visibly weary by the end of it.

Satou total estimated deaths: 44 + 648 = 693

22 suicides, at least 40 estimated suicides

Kei Nagai

Hit by a truck (severed in half yikes) (chpt 1)

Strangled (chpt 2)

Slit throat (chpt 3) S

Bike crash (chpt 6) S

Stab to chest (after torture and dismemberment) (chpt 7)

Dismemberment by lab researchers (assumed) (chpt 8)

Drowned (chpt 12)

Stabbed in the throat (chpt 17) S

Shotgun to the chest (chpt 22)

Assumed reset (head wound from car crash is gone) (chpt 22) S

Shot by Satou via attack helicopter (dream sequence, yeah buckos i'm counting these) (chpt 31)

Assumed reset (hand wound is gone) (chpt  33) S

Caught in explosion caused by Satou (chpt 36)

Gunshot to head by Kou (chpt 39)

Gunshot to head (chpt 39) S

Gunshot to head by Satou (chpt 40)

Gunshot to head by Hirasawa (chpt 41)

Gunshot to head by Hirasawa/Kou (after severing both arms) (chpt 42)

Gunshot to head by Hirasawa (chpt 42)

Fell off Forge Safety building (after being shot) (chpt 43)

Hypoxia (chpt 49) FIRST DEATH

Slit throat (after biting off fingers) (chpt 57) S

Slit throat (after biting off fingers) (chpt 57) S

Slit throat (after biting off fingers) (chpt 57) S

Slit throat (after biting off fingers) (chpt 57) S

Slit throat (after biting off fingers) (chpt 57) S

Slit throat (assumed, to heal fingers) (chpt 57) S

Gunshot to head (after poped eardrums) (chpt 60) S

Gunshot to head by Anti-Demis (chpt 61)

Plane crash and explosion caused by Satou (chpt 70)

Gunshot to head by Satou (chpt 72)

Impaled by own hostile IBM (chpt 72)

Gunshot to head (chpt 77) S

Gunshot to head (missing an arm and impaled on a rod) (chpt  78) S

HIT BY A TRUCK LMAO DUMBASS (chpt 83)

+240 for deaths while in captivity. Using the same metrics as Tanaka, in 10 days Kei died 240 times. Again, this is a very general approximation.

+72 for drowning deaths while adrift for a week (chapter 14). The stages of drowning take between 10-12 minutes. But let's be generous and say Kei either lucked out with calmer waters or manages to stay afloat for longer. So he drowns at a rate of 1 death per hour. Let’s also say Kei was confused and his estimation of being adrift for a week was off (downing consecutively will do that to a man), and he was only in the water for 3 days. I also don’t think he would be floating around for a week, especially if he didn’t make it out of Tokyo Bay.

Kei total estimated deaths: 35 + 312 = 347

15 suicides

Kou Nakano

Jumped out a window (chpt 15) S

Electrocution (chpt 16) S

Bled out (after falling from aparment building, stabbed in the stomach, run over by Tosaki) (chpt 16) S...ish...I’m counting as 0.5

Impaled by Kei's IBM (chpt 16)

Jumped off a cliff (chpt 17) S

Assumed reset (leg wounds from Kei are gone) (chpt 17)

Impaled by Kei's IBM (chpt 25)

Hanging (chpt 26) S

Shot by Satou via attack helicopter (dream sequence) (chpt 31)

Caught in explosion caused by Satou (chpt 36)

Impaled by Tanaka's IBM (chpt 37)

Gunshot to head by Kei (chpt 39)

Gunshot to head by Kei/Hirasawa (assumed) (chpt 41)

Fell off Forge Safety building (semi-accidental) (chpt 42) S, another 0.5

Head trauma (could also be eventual starvation/dehydration) (chpt 43) FIRST DEATH

+200 for deaths from hanging. We are doing a lot of assuming, so let’s continue that trend. Let’s say Kou would only hang himself for 5 hours a day after training and before bed. Let’s also say they had approximately two weeks of training. To account for extra training, rest time, and Kou generally not feeling up for dying on repeat, we’ll assume out of the two weeks, Kou only used 10 days. Where am I getting these numbers? My gut tells me so (source: trust me bro).

Short drop hanging takes 10-20 minutes for complete brain death. Let's take the middle road and say 15 minutes. So on average, 4 deaths per hour. 4 x 5 x 10 = 200 deaths.

Kou total estimated deaths: 15 + 200 = 215

5 suicides, 200 estimated suicides

Kou and Satou were really hard to estimate for, but we powered through lads.

Izumi Shimomura

Impaled by Tanaka's IBM (chpt 4)

Head trauma (chpt 27)

Untreated illness/STD (chpt 27) FIRST DEATH

Fell off a building with Satou's IBM (dream sequence) (chpt 31)

Bled out (after losing an arm fighting Tanaka) (chpt 39)

Gunshot to head by Tosaki (assumed) (chpt 41)

Hit by car (chpt 56) S

Shot in the throat (chpt 56)

Gunshot to head by Satou (chpt 78)

I’m assuming Izumi didn’t die after Tosaki hired her since she wasn’t being researched nor was it likely she needed to die for Tosaki as a bodyguard.

Izumi total estimated deaths: 9

1 suicide

Takahashi

Sniper shot to the head (chpt 21)

Sniper shot to the head (chpt 21)

Sniper shot to the head (chpt 21)

Gunshot to head by Gen (chpt 33)

Assumed reset (shot by Satou) (chpt 37)

Gunshot to head by Anti-Demis (chpt 66)

Takahashi total estimated deaths: 6 + 1 = 7

Masumi Okuyama

Carbon dioxide poisoning (chpt 32) S

Electrocution (chpt 32) S

Assumed reset (shot by Satou) (chpt 37)

Improvised explosive device (chpt 58) S

Okuyama total estimated deaths: 4 + 1 = 5

3 suicides

Shinya Nakamura

Motorcycle crash (accidental beheading) (chpt 9.5) FIRST DEATH

Gunshot to head (chpt 9.5)

Shinya total estimated deaths: 2

Reiji Akiyama

Bled out (after being harpooned and fighting Tanaka's IBM) (chpt 15)

Akiyama total estimated deaths: 1 + 1 = 2

Satou detractor (with the cross-body bag)

Bled out (shot in spleen by Tanaka) (chpt 15)

Total estimated deaths: 1 + 1 = 2

Satou collaborator (with the two IBMs)

Sliced in half after pushed off building by Izumi (chpt 63)

Total estimated deaths: 1 + 1 = 2

Himeko Tachibana

Satou's plane crash (chpt 65) FIRST DEATH

Total estimated deaths: 1

Kai

Gunshot through throat by Satou (chpt 72)

Total estimated deaths: 1

[journeyman-tier-fibercraft]

WIP Wednesday day. Lots of fucking around and also black/grey this week.

I didn't knit the border repeat of my evenstar (Shawl 14) for a couple days there due to family gatherings so I just banged through a couple repeats last night and called it good enough. Which puts me at 12 repeats out of 56. I was right that it's already a little boring but each repeat takes me less than an hour so it's pretty easy to just. Knit one and move on.

I also finally got through the first half? of shawl 15's repeat. I'm entirely off pattern so I'm just kinda fucking around until I get low on yarn but I'm not entirely sure where the paper is I wrote down all my yarn weights on before so I can't really continue until I track that down. When I was actively working on it all the time I wasn't super happy with it but picking it up again, I really like it. I'm sure I'll hate it again within the hour but that's what happens every time I do any sort of colourwork.

Speaking of hating my colourwork, the weird super bulky knit skirt is. I can't tell still if I love it or hate it. I've had fun making it either way but man does it confuse my brain. I'm almost done with the actual knitting portion, I decided to add a lace edging around the bottom which was a mistaakeeee. I still think it looks ok? so i'm not going to remove it but every row takes Forever to knit. The edging pattern I started with is beautiful but 18 rows and I literally will never finish this if I do all of them (also I managed to totally fuck up the row i'm currently knitting and have no idea how or why but it's black yarn on super big needles I'm not gonna be able to fix it).

This skirt still absolutely 100% needs steam blocked tho and I don't have a place for that set up right now. Also other finishing work (sewing in the waist elastic that was thankfully on sale, I kinda wanna add some of my patches to it, I wanna embroider some on it). I think? I don't like it right now not because it's ugly. But because it takes up so much space on my desk. So the minor hatred will not go away for as long as I work on it.

Lastly is a different fuck around project. Knitting a large gauge sweater out of the world's stinkiest crochet cotton with intentionally distressed lace work. I finished the sleeve I was knitting and now started with the front body, which I've strangely had a lot more issues with (dropping stitches, tension issues, the crochet cotton hurting my hands when purling). I don't have much to say about this one tbh, I'm not looking forward to the short rows to shape the front neckline (the pattern I'm working off of has zero neckline shaping so I'm going to make it up) but it's mostly purling that has me down. I'm almost tempted to do part of the body in garter stitch or switch to norwegian purling but neither of those are attractive options for different reasons so I'll just suffer (and wait for my hands to heal all the way before picking it up again).

[thisisnotthenerd]

back at it again with thisisnotthenerd's d20 stats.

this time we're talking runtime. this is referenced directly from dropout--i manually entered each episode into the spreadsheet, no shortcuts. why. times are recorded as hours:minutes:seconds. anyway:

overall runtime stats:

total runtime for all seasons of dimension 20 (at the moment, including oneshots and the episodes of Burrow's End that are currently out): 462:43:30. That’s the equivalent of 19 days, 6 hours, 43 minutes, and 30 seconds. Almost 3 weeks.

average runtime per episode: 2:10:21. around 2 hours per ep.

longest season by time: fantasy high sophomore year, with 52:13:31

shortest season: shriek week, with 7:49:30

season with the highest average: fantasy high sophomore year, with 2:36:41. this one is skewed by the long finale episodes, and the fact that this season was livestreamed rather than pre-recorded, as most d20 seasons are. this stat doesn't include oneshots, as those tend to be longer in order to contain a full narrative. the stats are listed though.

season with the lowest average: fantasy high freshman year, with 1:39:43. as the first season, fhfy tends toward shorter episodes overall--combat episodes usually ran shorter than non combat episodes.

longest episode: Spring Break! I Believe In You! (Part 2) from Fantasy High Sophomore Year, with 5:06:42. by far the longest episode of dimension 20. truly an unbelievable finale.

shortest episode: Brawl at the Black Pit from Fantasy High Freshman Year, at just 1:07:53. like i said, combat ran short during fhfy.

total number of episodes (as of 10/17/23): 219. this will change tomorrow, i know. i'll update when the season is over so i'm not neurotically changing this

total number of battle/encounter episodes: 106. again, this will be updated at the end of the season. quick note about battle episodes: this category includes all of the episodes with a designated battlesets, whether that was physical, on roll20, or on talespire. for theater of the mind, i narrowed it down to specific episodes that had designed encounters, and not just spur of the moment encounters, unless those spur of the moment encounters were significant enough to take up an episode. key example: fabian's no good very bad day in leviathan.

i marked whether you could finish watching a season in one day, with no breaks for each one of the seasons: this doesn't mean could you do it in 24 hours, it means you could do it without losing sleep. in the waking hours.

d20 season runtime data

fantasy high freshman year:

total runtime: 28:15:12

average runtime per episode: 1:39:43 seconds

number of episodes: 17

number of battle/encounter episodes: 9

longest episode: episode 12: the sisterly showdown (1:57:11)

shortest episode: episode 6: brawl at the black pit (1:07:53)

could you watch it in a day, doing nothing else: ❌

escape from the bloodkeep:

total runtime: 14:02:07

average runtime per episode: 2:20:21

number of episodes: 6

number of battle/encounter episodes: 3

longest episode: episode 6: the tomb of ultimate evil (2:57:59)

shortest episode: episode 5: bloodlines and lifelines (1:56:44)

could you watch it in a day, doing nothing else: ✅

the unsleeping city:

total runtime: 34:11:27

average runtime per episode: 2:00:40

number of episodes: 17

number of battle/encounter episodes: 9

longest episode: episode 14: showdown at the stock exchange (2:35:07)

shortest episode: episode 2: mutant santa melee (1:28:12)

could you watch it in a day, doing nothing else: ❌

tiny heist:

total runtime: 12:27:12

average runtime per episode: 2:04:32

number of episodes: 6

number of battle/encounter episodes: 4

longest episode: episode 1: big little crimes (2:11:12)

shortest episode: episode 5: fighting with fire (1:55:38)

could you watch it in a day, doing nothing else: ✅

fantasy high sophomore year:

total runtime: 52:13:31

average runtime per episode: 2:36:41

number of episodes: 20

number of battle/encounter episodes: 8

longest episode: episode 20: spring break! i believe in you! (part 2), with 5:06:42

shortest episode: episode 7: the friendship section, with 2:08:50. even the short episodes in fhsy are over 2 hours.

could you watch it in a day, doing nothing else: ❌❌ (double because you couldn't do it in two days)

fantasy high oneshots:

total runtime: 8:11:31

average runtime per episode: 2:02:53

number of episodes: 4

number of battle/encounter episodes: 4 (they're oneshots)

longest episode: Boys' Night! (Roll20Con) with 2:45:17

shortest episode: Fantasy High LIVE at RTX Austin with 1:26:53

could you watch it in a day, doing nothing else: ✅

a crown of candy:

total runtime: 36:18:00

average runtime per episode: 2:08:07

number of episodes: 17

number of battle/encounter episodes: 9

longest episode: episode 11: at the mountains of sweetness, with 2:30:34

shortest episode: episode 10: blood & bread, with 1:36:59. this came down to emily not coming in as saccharina in this episode.

could you watch it in a day, doing nothing else: ❌

pirates of leviathan:

total runtime: 13:02:06

average runtime per episode: 2:10:21

number of episodes: 6

number of battle/encounter episodes: 3

longest episode: episode 4: i'm worth this, with 2:25:55

shortest episode: episode 5: scramble to the ramble, with 1:52:21

could you watch it in a day, doing nothing else: ✅

the unsleeping city chapter 2:

total runtime: 42:35:35

average runtime per episode: 2:21:59

number of episodes: 18

number of battle/encounter episodes: 10

longest episode: episode 6: collaborators, with 2:46:31

shortest episode: episode 2: heaven and hell on earth, with 1:40:52

could you watch it in a day, doing nothing else: ❌

mice & murder:

total runtime: 20:46:20

average runtime per episode: 2:04:38

number of episodes: 10

number of battle/encounter episodes: 4

longest episode: episode 10: unfinished business, with 2:46:06

shortest episode: episode 8: outfoxed, with 1:22:43

could you watch it in a day, doing nothing else: ❌

misfits & magic:

total runtime: 9:45:13

average runtime per episode: 2:26:18

number of episodes: 4

number of battle/encounter episodes: 2

longest episode: episode 4: we're the heroes, with 2:54:57

shortest episode: episode 3: family on six, with 2:08:58

could you watch it in a day, doing nothing else: ✅

misfits & magic oneshots:

total runtime: 5:19:32

average runtime per episode: 2:39:46

number of episodes: 2

number of battle/encounter episodes: 2

longest episode: misfits & magic holiday special, with 3:14:57

shortest episode: misfits & magic live at gencon 2022, with 2:04:35

could you watch it in a day, doing nothing else: ✅

the seven:

total runtime: 23:55:12

average runtime per episode: 2:23:31

number of episodes: 10

number of battle/encounter episodes: 6

longest episode: episode 6: belles of the baronies, with 2:58:43

shortest episode: episode 7: bloppelganger blitz, with 1:28:09

could you watch it in a day, doing nothing else: ❌

shriek week:

total runtime: 7:49:30

average runtime per episode: 1:57:23

number of episodes: 4

number of battle/encounter episodes: 0

longest episode: episode 3: parents' weekend, with 2:10:15

shortest episode: episode 4: van helsing's party, with 1:39:33

could you watch it in a day, doing nothing else: ✅

a starstruck odyssey:

total runtime: 39:54:33

average runtime per episode: 2:13:02

number of episodes: 18

number of battle/encounter episodes: 10

longest episode: episode 18: the luckless, the abandoned and the forsaked (part 2), with 3:08:38

shortest episode: episode 17: the luckless, the abandoned and the forsaked (part 1), with 1:23:40

could you watch it in a day, doing nothing else: ❌

coffin run:

total runtime: 10:19:38

average runtime per episode: 1:43:16

number of episodes: 6

number of battle/encounter episodes: 3

longest episode: episode 2: attacks on the tracks, with 2:05:18

shortest episode: episode 1: down for the count, with 1:10:21

could you watch it in a day, doing nothing else: ✅

a court of fey and flowers:

total runtime: 20:27:10

average runtime per episode: 2:02:43

number of episodes: 10

number of battle/encounter episodes: 4

longest episode: episode 3: duel on the southern lawn, with 2:32:06

shortest episode: episode 10: you will never know a lonely day again, with 1:14:24

could you watch it in a day, doing nothing else: ❌

neverafter:

total runtime: 42:25:08

average runtime per episode: 2:07:15

number of episodes: 20

number of battle/encounter episodes: 9

longest episode: episode 20: the ending of all things (part 2), with 2:38:33

shortest episode: episode 6: the curdled web, with 1:39:05

could you watch it in a day, doing nothing else: ❌

the ravening war:

total runtime: 14:59:17

average runtime per episode: 2:29:53

number of episodes: 6

number of battle/encounter episodes: 4

longest episode: episode 5: the seventh kingdom, with 2:39:27

shortest episode: episode 3: yonder where the fruit do be lyin', with 2:19:26. matt mercer likes himself a long episode

could you watch it in a day, doing nothing else: ✅

dungeons & drag queens:

total runtime: 9:31:03

average runtime per episode: 2:22:46

number of episodes: 4

number of battle/encounter episodes: 2

longest episode: episode 3: the time has come, with 2:42:23

shortest episode: episode 1: queens on a quest, with 2:03:47

could you watch it in a day, doing nothing else: ✅

mentopolis:

total runtime: 12:31:14

average runtime per episode: 2:05:12

number of episodes: 6

number of battle/encounter episodes: 3

longest episode: episode 5: emergency powers, with 2:31:00

shortest episode: episode 3: f for freezer, with 1:53:48

could you watch it in a day, doing nothing else: ✅

burrow's end:

the season isn't done yet, so the spreadsheet will be updated weekly as episodes come out, and this post will be updated when all of the data is present.

and that's all for this edition of thisisnotthenerd's d20 stats! this one was a long one. as always, the spreadsheet is open to perusal.

[asukaskerian]

@codedredalert​

[5:30 PM]codedredalert: Who is mdr who is tbrm [6:53 PM]Askerian: lmaooooooooo [6:53 PM]Askerian: tobi is the blue one [6:53 PM]Askerian: he's totally gay but he decided the "hey" was low effort and annoying [6:53 PM]codedredalert: 😂😂😂 [6:53 PM]Askerian: "time to make them regret being so boring" he thought, and didn't think farther [6:54 PM]Askerian: he does NOT admit he gets sexual satisfaction out of pissing off people [6:54 PM]codedredalert: Also >take my survey< thirst trap photo with link [6:54 PM]codedredalert: It's for his masters thesis 😂 [6:54 PM]Askerian: madara meanwhile gets satisfaction out of getting offended so they're both very surprised when they're still bitching at each other five days later [6:54 PM]Askerian: "wanna meet in person so i can tell youi you're wrong to your face" "oh sure"

[6:54 PM]codedredalert: HAHAHA [6:54 PM]codedredalert: 😂😂😂😂😂❤️❤️❤️ [6:55 PM]Askerian: mid getting railed behind the coffee shop tobi is still lecturing madara about assuming shit about him [6:55 PM]Askerian: his pants are around his ankles. never mind that. [6:55 PM]codedredalert: 😂😂😂😂😂😂 [6:55 PM]codedredalert: IM HOWLING [6:55 PM]Askerian: XDD [6:56 PM]codedredalert: Mdr hitting it from the back or the front semi carrying against the wall [6:58 PM]Askerian: XDD yessss [6:58 PM]Askerian: all the while ranting back that he's gonna PROVE tobi is gay! he will give him the best ass orgasm of ALL TIME tobi, disdainful: straights have prostates too. madara: HAH!: BUT THEY DON'T CALL THEMSELVES "THE STRAIGHTS!" I have you dead to right!!! [6:59 PM]Askerian: tobi: hhghghg i didn't... say... THE straights... are you fucking me or discussing a thesis here mada: oh NOW he's losing suddenly he doesn't like the sound of his own voice [6:59 PM]codedredalert: HAHAHAHAHAHA [7:00 PM]codedredalert: tbrm torn between 1) losing the argument 2) admitting mdr dick so good he cant words [7:01 PM]Askerian: fate worse than death D:< [7:01 PM]Askerian: .... same time next week? >_> [7:02 PM]codedredalert: HAHAHAHAHHAA [7:02 PM]codedredalert: if they work at the same place/ study at the same sch tho [7:02 PM]Askerian: they never noticed each other before [7:03 PM]codedredalert: spiderman pointing meme [7:03 PM]Askerian: ok fake, they noticed as "the asshole with the huge hair that gets everywhere" and "the asshole who keeps squatting the good table for hours on end" [7:03 PM]codedredalert: HAHAHA [7:03 PM]codedredalert: the asshole who is short but his hair still blocks the lecture slides [7:03 PM]Askerian: now they have an excuse for madara to crash tobes' study parties to be obnoxious and then they can blow each other in between encyclopedias

[mysterycharacterbracket]

Full Tournament Recap

I've been doing one of these every three rounds, so why stop now? Here is a complete recap of everything that has happened in this tournament so far:

Submission Phase

Back in May of 2023, I noticed that bracket blogs were all the rage on Tumblr. So I decided to try my hand at my own. But I didn't like how sometimes I would vote for or against a character solely because I knew who they were. So I decided the identities of the characters in my bracket were going to be a mystery! I recommended propaganda to be vague enough that even fans of the same franchise might have trouble guessing, but at the same time specific enough that the character COULD be identified. I decided that, so that I could participate too, I would not look at which character matched which description until they were eliminated.

I opened submissions for the bracket on May 15th, and kept them open until the 24th.

Format

When all the submissions were in, I counted the characters to find that we had a total of 297. I then calculated that 297 / 3 = 99, and suddenly I had a formula for the bracket. The characters would battle in 99 randomized polls of 3. I would split up the polls into 9 batches of 11.

Then the 99 winners, and the 29 losers with the most votes, would be placed into a winners bracket (for an even 128 characters), while the remaining 169 characters would be placed into a losers bracket. This meant that I had to split them up further: the 82 losers with the fewest votes would compete in 41 first-round matchups, while the 87 characters in between would enter the tournament in the second round. The losers from the winners bracket would enter the next round of the losers bracket and be given a second shot.

First Round

So we cycled through each batch of polls. For each poll, I put the characters' descriptions in red, green and blue. I didn't want to wait until all the polls were finished in one batch to start the next one, but I also wanted each batch to have a buffer of at least one day on either side. So I posted the 9 batches of weeklong polls somewhat randomly, staggered throughout the week -- so one batch might be on day 5, while another batch was on day 3, and another was just starting.

In the process I decided that a tie for first or second place would trigger a 24-hour runoff vote. A first-place tiebreaker would only be used to determine which character won, but the vote count for seeding purposes would remain the same from the original poll. A second-place tiebreaker was just for fun.

Then once all 297 characters had been revealed, I received 3 messages stating that some people had problems submitting their characters. So I created a special 100th poll and adjusted my math slightly:

100 characters would win and go on to the winners bracket

28 characters would lose, but earn enough votes to move on to the winners bracket

84 characters would enter the losers bracket in the second round

And 88 characters would compete in 44 first-round matchups in the losers bracket

June 24th was when the round came to a close, but we still had some ties to break. So I created the...

Tiebreaker Round

At this point the characters were grouped as follows:

100 characters had won their polls and were headed to the winners bracket

26 characters had lost their polls but received 57 or more votes, and were also headed to the winners bracket

2 of those 26 characters were tied for 2nd place in poll #100, so they competed in a tiebreaker poll.

3 characters were tied with 56 votes. The math dictated that 2 of them had to go to the winners bracket and the other one had to go to the losers bracket, so I put them in a tiebreaker where you had to vote for one of the two winners. Then later I realized I could have done it so you could vote for the loser.

79 characters had lost their polls but received between 35 and 55 votes, so they were headed to the second round of the losers bracket.

9 characters lost their polls with 34 votes. The math dictated that 4 of them had to go to the second round while the other 5 went to the first round. I posted a single 9-way tiebreaker where the top 4 characters would get byes. Then I later realized I could have done it with 3 posts, where the winner of each post got a bye along with the top wild card.

The remaining 83 characters lost their polls with 33 votes or less. These characters were automatically entered into the first round of the losers bracket.

I also posted a poll to decide which colors I would use for each poll, and another one to decide how I would handle seeding. The choice for seeding was "keep the original numbers", and the choices for colors were pink and purple for the winners bracket, and green and blue for the losers bracket.

Once the 24-hour tiebreakers were complete, I also decided to re-randomize the characters within each round (which is why the numbers were all across the board).

Stage 1

Stage 1 was unique. Each character had just been re-randomized. No character was initially matched up against someone they had competed against in the first round. Now each poll only had two options, with the loser being eliminated from the winners bracket or the tournament at large no matter how much they lost by. And we started to cycle through the two brackets in a pattern: two losers bracket rounds, followed by one winners bracket round.

The first losers bracket round (L1) was unique in that it had 4 batches of 11 polls each, plus one 24-hour bonus poll to decide whether I should stagger the rounds as well as the polls. The answer was yes. So I did.

After the first round I switched to batches of 8 polls. This pattern remained in place until there were no longer enough polls in a round to do it. So round L1 lasted 4 batches of 11 polls, and rounds L2, W1 and L3 each lasted 8 batches of 8 polls.

Stage 2

Not much changed in stage 2. It included rounds L4, W2 and L5, which each lasted 4 batches of 8 polls. But because the website I used to make brackets could only create brackets of 64, I had to create 16 losers brackets, and round L5 was the semifinals for each one.

Stage 3

Because round L5 was the semifinals for each of the 16 losers brackets, round L6 had to be the finals. Then we took a break from that to play round W3. When we came back with round L7, the 16 remaining losers were in two new brackets along with the 16 losers of round W3.

Stage 4

At this point there were only 8 matchups remaining in each round, so I combined them all into one batch. I started a new pattern: round L8 started a day after round L7 concluded. Then round W4 started two days after round L8 started. Then round L9 started a day after round L8 concluded.

Stage 5

Rinse and repeat. This time with only 4 matches each in rounds L10, W5 and L11.

Remember what I said about the website only allowing me to make 64 character brackets? For this reason, there were two winners brackets. Round W5 was the semifinals for each. And round L11 was the semifinals for each of the second round of losers brackets.

Stage 6

This time, there were only two matches per round. Round L12 finished off the losers brackets. Round W6 finished off the winners brackets. Then we were ready for the final bracket that you see in the masterpost today. (Speaking of which, I kept that masterpost updated with links to each active poll, as well as a picture of each active bracket.) Round L13 was the start of that final bracket.

Stage 7

At this point, only one poll remained for each round. The winner of each poll would move on, and the loser would be guaranteed a certain place in the tournament. The loser of round L14 took 4th place. And the loser of round W7 moved on to round L15 to take on the winner of round L14. The loser of round L15 took 3rd place.

Which brings us to right now. March 2nd, 2024. The championship will be posted in just a few minutes, and it features the following two characters:

Character 5: She's a terrible driver even though she's been driving since before the age of 12. She only has 1 name. She's autistic. She's the best in the world at what she does. She's been searching for a family her entire life and when she finally found one that actually loves her she reciprocated that love by pushing them off of buildings. She's a terrible liar until her family teaches her how to lie (for fun and profit!!). She's a badass on paper but in reality she's the weirdest fucking person you've ever met.

And character 67: Is part horse. Can cause others excruciating pain with their own anger. Joins an illegal rebellion at age 13. 3 elves are all in love with her. One of them is her cousin. A grumpy short man tried to get her exiled from society because she has brown eyes.

Who will win? You decide!

[unusual-raccoon]

rhaenyra wakes up one day and the headlines hit her with: “rhaenyra targaryen’s oldest enjoys himself as a dj in a party in the north. sources say he disappeared for more than an hour and came back holding the heiress’ second son inappropriately”

My baby has the biggest, most beautiful brain 💋. I love this idea! I miss DJ Jace.

Lil ficlet under the cut 😚

A show in Wintertown, that was the last she’d heard before the photos came in.

Jacaerys’ pass time of deejaying was one that she tolerated, just as she had his foray into lacrosse, and fencing, and dressage before that. It was something that would fade. He was a young man and his interests changed with the seasons, however more than any useless hobby, there was one interest she had hoped he would abandon above all else.

Lucerys.

One blink at tabloid photos is evidence enough no amount of time had cooled the dragon’s blood in his veins.

In the photo, Jacaerys stands behind his elaborate DJ booth, handsome face hidden behind dark curls and darker glasses. A premium set of headphones draped around his neck…and Lucerys dangling off of his arm.

Her second born paraded himself about in microscopic shorts and a sheer mesh shirt that clung to matching stainless steel barbells through each pink nipple. His curls were voluminous and mussed just right. Eyeliner smudged and laughing his pretty little head off, a drink in one dainty hand. The other clutched to Jacaerys’ bicep.

Rhaenyra sighed, sliding a swipe of her finger across the screen. Grimaced at the sight of Jacaerys holding a very compromising handful of his brother’s ass. Luke’s hands braced on his older brother’s chest. Telling marks stained in the shape of Lucerys’ mouth darkened on Jace’s neck. Likely a good indication of the hour of partying in which Jacaerys had been unaccounted for.

She could see the very worst parts of herself in her children, the most impulsive self-destructive parts, the cannibalistic parts the only ached to consume it’s own kind.

Quite frankly, she had inherited Jasper Wylde when she gained acquisition of TARG, and wasn’t entirely fond of the man, but she’d have him and legal as well as PR on clean up to mitigate the absolute mess her sons caused.

She’s halfway through writing an email to her head of legal when a message banner pops along the top of her screen.

>>Lucerys: Rain check on dinner this weekend 🙏

A second message is quick to follow.

>>Lucerys: I have SO much coursework to catch up on 😖

Rhaenyra rummages through her purse for the carton of cigarettes she’d sworn off.

She’s blowing out smoke as she types out her reply. Nicotine bleeding into her like a sedative.

>Of course.

Read 9:54 PM

She stubs out the remains of her cigarette, tension easing in her shoulders as she exhaled a stream of smoke toward crown molding scalloped along the ceilings. The filter held between her fingers is dyed red from lipstick worn to a board meeting hours prior.

She taps out another message.

>Love you, sweet boy.

Read 9:56 PM

>>Love you too, mum 🤍. See you next weekend!

She closes her message app for a total of ten seconds before tapping another cigarette from the carton and resuming the conversation, ever one for the last word.

>Tell your brother I said hello.

Read 9:56 PM

She doesn’t expect a reply, nor does she receive one, but in its own way, it is answer enough.

[noodyl-blasstal]

Sweet

TAZ Bingo for @taznovembercelebration

Taako [16:43]

Cha'boy's cha'boyfriend now. Don’t be weird about it.

Lucretia [14:56]

Hello Barry, if anyone says anything you think is unusual just be cool, Lucretia

Krav [13:11]

Hi Barry,

Just so you are aware, I have made a semi-public announcement that we’re dating. I’ll explain later.

Have a good day,

Kravitz.

Maggie [11:27]

Barry!!! I’m your boyfriend! But in a friend way. Just don’t tell anyone that. Don’t worry about it.

Barry stared at his phone for a full minute. He’d left them unattended for 8 hours, and he was now dating three of his friends? He wasn’t sure the university would give him a plus 3 to events. Barry flicked through the messages again, did he actually want to engage with this? Maybe if he ignored it, it would go away…

_____________________________

LuLu [17:19]

YOU’RE DATING BARRY??????????????????

[17:19]

BARRY I’VE BEEN IN LOVE WITH FOR FIVE YEARS, BARRY???

[17:20]

I know you said it would be easy to ask him out, but this is a sick way to prove your point.

[17:20]

What the actual fuck, Ko?

[17:20]

You’ve been dating 3 months??? And I had to hear it from Ren?

[17:21]

I thought we told each other everything.

Taako’s phone had been buzzing persistently, but he had been expecting a series of weird emojis from Krav, not this.

Obviously Taako was perfect. Obviously Taako never made any mistakes or missteps or did anything wrong. But this one time, just this one singular time, he might have very slightly fucked up.

Taako [17:23]

Pick up your phone, Lupita, Taako can explain.

“This had better be good.” Lup’s voice was verging on hysterical, and to be honest, fair.

“His ex is in town.”

“The bad ex?” Lup asked.

“The bad ex.” Taako nodded solemnly.

“And she was talking about how he was still single and no one else could ever want him…”

“Uh huh.” Lup said.

“…And she said she thought he’d be single forever because he was pathetic and unlovable.” Taako added.

Lup growled.

“Exactly! What else was I supposed to do?” Taako was fairly sure this was getting off the hook material. Everyone hated Lydia, they couldn’t be held responsible for their actions when she was involved.

“No, yeah, that’s totally fair.” Lup nodded, then grinned.

“Congratulations, I guess.” Said Lup, who sounded a lot less angry at Taako and a lot more angry at Lydia. Perfect.

“She’s unbelievable. He broke up with her!”

“Right?” Taako settled in, bitching about Lydia was one of his favourite sports.

“… and she wasn’t with anyone other than her dickhead brother either. It’s not like she’s come back with a fiance.”

_________________________________

“Thanks for meeting me Barry.” Kravitz passed Barry the cup of coffee he’d bought for him, paused awkwardly, then wrapped his arm round his waist and walked him to the outdoor table - may as well be seen together. Kravitz pulled Barry’s chair out for him and smiled fondly as he sat down.

Barry took a large swig of his coffee, and raised his eyebrows.

“This is lovely and all, Krav, but what’s going on?”

“Lydia’s in town.” Kravitz replied.

Barry winced.

“Oh.”

“She was being mean.”

“Well, that is on brand.” Barry replied, huffing a laugh.

“She was being mean about you.” Kravitz stressed, surely Barry would understand why he had to do this.

“That’s not new, bud. At least she wasn’t being mean to me, if anything, it’s an improvement.” Barry’s mouth quirked up at the edges, amused by his own joke. He wasn’t taking this seriously for some reason?

“She said she thought you were still single.” Surely he’d get it now.

“That no one would date you.”

“I am, and no one is dating me.” Barry replied, then muttered.

“No matter how much I wish they would.”

“Well, fun news.” Kravitz said, then added some jazz hands for showmanship.

Barry raised his eyebrows.

“Yeah, gonna need slightly more explanation than that, bud.”

“Look, she was being horrible, and I hate her, Barry. I hate her so much. She was mean to you, and she was mean to us, and then three years ago she fucked off and it was wonderful. I didn’t want her to think that you were pining for her or anything, so I said we were dating. We’ve been together for the last few months, by the way. You asked me out at the library. I cried because I was so happy.” Kravitz should probably stop speaking now. Barry’s face was doing a lot of things and not quite settling on an expression.

The spay of coffee was unexpected. To be fair, Kravitz should probably have waited until Barry had finished drinking to start the last ramble.

“Fuck, sorry bud!” Barry choked through his laughter.

“That’s just, huh. That’s, it’s really sweet of you.” He cough-laughed some more, and shoved some napkins at Kravitz.

“Unnecessary. But sweet.”

Kravitz mopped ineffectually at his suit. Thankfully the black hid stains well… not that anyone had to know that. Kravitz definitely wore black for goth purposes and not practicality.

“I had some weird texts from Magnus, Lucretia, and Taako too…” Barry trailed off.

“Oh gods.” He put his head in his hands and guaffed.

“She’s going to think we’re a polycule. This is brilliant.” He wheezed.

Kravitz offered his cup in cheers, Barry tapped his cardboard against it and took a much more successful sip. There we go. Kravitz had definitely made a good choice here.

[robotstrategy]

Recalled • Part 7 • 56 - Air Show

Previous • Series Masterlist • Part 7 Masterlist • Next

Roland drives Nero to a site filled with parked cars. It seems like there’s already a lot of people here ready to claim their viewing spots. Roland looks to Nero before he gets out; he hasn't physically been near her in some time. The blonde part of her hair had mostly grown out, leaving it brown and curly. Nero catches Roland’s gaze. 

“It clashes doesn’t it?” She asks.

Roland looks at the darker skin at the back of Nero’s neck that covers her scalp. He nods, it does clash. 

“I’m going to get it permed and dyed in time for your sister’s birthday. Oh, by the way,” She punches the side of Roland’s arm. “Happy belated birthday asshole, can’t believe I wasn’t invited.” 

Roland laughs. “Nobody was, I just bought a little cake and ate it all by myself.” 

“All in one day?”

Roland hesitates. “Over the course of a couple of hours, it was small Nero!”

Nero rolls her eyes, smirking. “And you wonder why you’re chubby.”

“Well I work it off don't I?” He jeers. 

“Yeah, yeah, I know I’m just teasing you.” 

Nero nestles her Pilot's cap on her head. With her black and gray camo fatigues, she almost looks like a medaled officer. 

Roland gets out of the truck, following Nero. “So have you been at war?” He asks her, worried. 

She stops, shaking her head, she turns around to look at Roland. “I thought so, but all Team Mosaic has been asked to do so far is deliver provisions to Australia. So I was in charge of air delivery.”

“They’re still at war?” 

“I think it’s ending soon.” 

They walk further to the field. 

“So, are you doing anything today?” Nero asks him.

“Think we’re doing a speed competition at the beginning of the show. Just seeing how fast we can get a person into the helicopter and to the finish line.” 

“Well, I hope you win.” 

“Damn right, I will! So what about you?”

“I’m just gonna be swerving all over the place, pretty sure my plane will be letting off purple smoke.”

“Cool.”

Nero starts to walk off towards more fighter pilots. “I have to go find my jet, I’ll see you towards the end of the show.” She salutes him with two fingers before running off. 

As she leaves his field of view a few people with red armbands come up to him. “You’re McMary-Delgado right?” One of them asks.

Roland nods, he’s handed a red armband for himself. “We’re going over to the middle of the field, we have to do some preparations.” They explain. 

Roland follows them into the field and he starts helping others put together the dummies they’ll be putting on the gurneys. “So, is this therapeutic for you?” Someone on the green team asks Roland. “Y’know since you’re a Recall. Uh sorry, maybe not, I-”

“I wouldn’t say it’s therapeutic, but I do like putting things together, so…” Roland answers them. 

Roland drags his dummy out in front of the gurney, he then stands with the others. There’s a middle-aged woman in his group that nudges him. “So, you’re my co-pilot?” 

“Yes ma’am.” 

“Hmm, got some pretty good people out here today, hah! but I’ve been doing this for years. We’ve totally got this in the bag.” 

“You think so?” Roland asks, doubting her for a moment. 

“Hey! The key is to think you’ll win, then you won’t stress about it, and then you’ll actually succeed.”

Roland nods, the woman talks again. “I’m not sure how they taught you, but we’re going in that tunnel before the gurney goes in. So you better be in there quick!” 

He nods again, he turns towards the noise of an intercom just starting up. 

“Welcome everyone to the spring Air Show! Of course, let’s start off with a thanks to our airport sponsors, we’ve got the Madison Municipal Airport, Anderson Muni Airport-Aid, and let’s not forget about Hoosier Aviation, big thanks to them for bringing in aircrafts today. Now, we’ll be starting today’s show with an agility competition between multiple emergency response teams. These people have never met each other, so we’re also putting their communication skills to the test. Now, on your marks, get set, go!”

An air horn is blown as Roland and his team quickly get the dummy strapped in. He and the woman get in their seats as the gurney and the others get secured.

“Now, this is the easy part.” The woman says under her breath. She and Roland get the chopper into the air and fly it to the finish line, landing just a few feet away from it. 

“High-five kid!” The woman raises her hand, and Roland taps it. He watches as a few of the other choppers fly down further than theirs. 

One of his other teammates walks up to the front. “Looks like purple is getting disqualified.” They comment.

“Yeah, definitely landed too far out.” The woman acknowledges. 

Roland and his teammates exit out of the chopper the normal way this time. Once they get to the side of the field, they’re awarded with badges. 

“What are these for?” 

“They’re for bombers duh.” One of his teammates replies.

Roland furrows his eyebrows. “Bombers?” 

“Like bomber jackets, they're like the Girl Scout bucket hat for Aviation.” 

“Oh, I don’t have one.” 

“They’re selling them over at the vendor in the black tent over there, I hear they’ve even got an embroidery service.”

Roland walks over to the black tent, he looks at the selection of bombers left. He picks out two large black ones, one for him, and one he’ll gift to Nero. He goes up to the main table at the stall.

“Will you be getting these embroidered?” The lady at the table asks him. 

“Umm, maybe one of them, sorry my last name is kinda long.”

“Hah! I bet you it's not as long as some of the Chance Folk names I’ve had to embroider.” An older woman says in the back. 

The lady at the front smiles at him. “So?”

“Sure, I’ll get both of them embroidered.” 

Roland sits in the back with the older woman as she rapidly embroiders the bombers. “So, is Taggart here today?” She asks.

“Yes, her jet is going to be letting off purple smoke later today.”

“Oh Taggart is a girl, is this a present for a lucky lady then?”

Roland waves his hands in a panic. “No no, no, we’re not dating, she’s more like a big sister to me.” 

“I see. Just a friend then?”

“Yeah, she’s done a lot for me, I want to give her something back.” 

“Well, this will be a pretty priceless gift.” 

A little later she hands over Nero’s bomber to him. “I see you got some badges there, do you want me to stitch them on the front of yours?”

“Sure, that would be great.” He hands over the badges. 

Roland walks up to the front of the tent, he’s got a good view of the field from here. He can see from afar that fighter jets are being loaded up with colours. Nero must be going on soon. He sees a figure in black take off their hat and clip it to a body harness. They then put on a thick helmet and climb into the jet by opening the windshield. 

Nero secures herself in her seat, she sits to the left in the middle. There’s a person to her right, a person in front of her and someone in the back. The front and back person guides the plane, while she and the person to her right are in charge of setting off the powder. Nero hears the intercom go off before hearing the air horn. Slowly like clockwork, all the jets start moving forward and off the ground. The jet curves into 90 degrees up from its ground placement, Nero feels the pressure against her as they go towards the clouds. 

“We’re letting off the powder now!” The pilot in the front yells. 

Nero pulls the lever usually meant for letting off homing missiles, she then grips to the seat as the jet takes an incredibly sharp loop. The jet does a few zigzags before it starts twirling in the air. Nero knows this looks cool from the outside, but it’s equally interesting from her seat. Knowing the jet is constantly rotating from upside down to right side up, and she doesn’t even feel nauseous. Nero watches as the powder lines of purple, green, red, and white come in and out of view, it’s all so mesmerizing. 

Soon enough all the jets slow down as they get closer to the ground. Nero unbuckles herself from the seat, the person in the front opens the windshield, and she gets out. Nero stretches herself once both feet are planted on the ground, she takes off the helmet to give it to the woman at the table in front of the jet. Nero receives her badges and goes off to the side to straighten herself out and put her hat back on. Now there’s only one thing left to do: find Roland in this giant crowd of people. Thankfully that’s not that hard, because Roland is busy screaming his head off from the black tent nearby. 

Roland stares at Nero in disbelief as she walks up to him. “That was amazing!” He tells her. 

Nero laughs. “Yes, I know, you’ve yelled it at me many times.”

“You’re amazing!” He continues.

Nero smirks. “Well, I already knew that.” 

Nero points to the bomber. “What’s that?” 

Roland holds it up. “Oh, this is for you.” He hands it to her. 

Nero looks at it, smiling at the back of it, she looks at him. “I hope you also got one for yourself.” 

“I did.” Roland looks over to his bomber; the woman only has four letters to go. 

“I’ve just been sitting next to her for right now, you can join if you want, I don’t really know where else you’d go,” Roland tells her. 

She nods. “I could stay here for now.”

Roland sits alongside the woman and Nero, Nero shows him the badges she had gotten. She’s got the same Indianapolis Air Show badge as him as well as a Purple Powder Jet badge. She ends up being handed a needle and thread to stitch the badges on her bomber. She’s surprisingly very good with a needle, then again it was she who had stitched up Roland’s chin when his own body weight and dizziness had made him crash against the ground of the car park. 

“I hear there’s a hotdog stand somewhere around here, we should do that for supper,” Nero suggests. 

“They’ve got a lot of things out here don’t they?” Roland remarks. 

“Yup, clothing, goodies, dog tags, the world’s your oyster.” The old woman tells them. She finally gives him his bomber, and Nero and Roland are left to face the giant crowd of people again. 

Around six Roland and Nero crash in the back of Roland’s truck. He looks at his mustard-slathered hotdog, he could’ve sworn he didn’t ask for that much mustard. 

“Oh look there’s a pink one!” Nero points to an old vintage pink plane. Roland thinks it looks odd, like they tried to make it look attractive. 

“When will I see you again?” Roland asks her. 

“I think at your sister’s birthday.” She tells him

“Then after that?” 

“At the summer camp.”

“That’s too far away.”

Nero chuckles. “You’ll miss me, won’t you?” 

“I just, I don’t want you to leave and then I’ll hear a little later that you died a horrific death.” 

“Haha! Don’t worry. It's not that dangerous carrying provisions,” She looks him in the eyes. “Besides, with all the deliveries I’m doing, I might just skew my job in that direction.” 

“I think I’d like it more if you did that.” 

“Well, I won’t let a man tell me what to do, but I’ll take that into consideration.” 

They watch as all the planes are cleared out for the evening as they end the show with fireworks. 

“Do you ever feel old Nero?” Roland asks, looking up at the fireworks.

“Hmm?” 

“Like, I feel old, I guess I just didn’t expect to have a life after unwinding.” 

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

[chiropteracupola]

fic writer meme

tagged by @sanguinarysanguinity — thank you, this was an interesting one to ponder!

ao3 name: chiroptera_in_the_cupola

fandoms: as writing and interest generally goes, I think the major players currently are and have been Treasure Island, Hornblower, Flight of the Heron, and [one look at the work-in-progress spreadsheet later] uh, I guess Sharpe as well at the moment :]

I do like to pick up other things for a small thing or two, and plan to continue doing so, but I think those first three are the ones that have really captured my interest in a way that supports sustained writing, altho' we'll see how things shake out as time goes on.

number of works: 56, which is really quite a few for only a bit more than two years of actually posting work on ao3!

work I spent the most time on: 'well met, my dear one' went through revisions and periods of abandonment for nearly two years. it was one of the very first Treasure Island fics that I began, but needed to be entirely begun over again from scratch at one point, and so took rather a while even though it's not all that long.

works I spent the least time on: 'make my bed where the bodies lie', 'the king shall dress in gold', and 'the way was carved in ice' were all written in about four or five hours each. it's always lucky when inspiration strikes like that and can carry me all the way through a story in one go, but less lucky for any other things I might have planned on doing that day!

longest fic: 'Nane Shall Ken Where He Is Gane', or, as I've more frequently called it, the Wormsfic — and that's only a third of it so far! oh boy!

shortest fic: 'who's to blame', the very shortest of a series of a few very tiny little micro-fics done as part of a prompt game some years ago.

most hits: 'as in a mirror dimly', my one fic for The Mummy — hm, I think I'd say that that one is mostly on account of the movie itself being a much more well-known thing than many of the other areas I more frequently write in, altho' the central relationship is. shall I simply say unpopular.

most kudos: oddly enough, 'here in your arms is cured', my first Kidnapped fic — hopefully I will someday finish more, that they may be similarly well received!

total word count: 90,380

favorite work of my own: this is one question I can't really answer — a lot of stories are my favorites for very different reasons! but I'll take this space to mention 'Shaking Off Our Shadows', which, since it's for rather an obscure book, I've not discussed much, but I am nonetheless very proud of, among my recent work. Reading The Wolf and the Watchman left me feeling very cold and grimy and sad, and I'm very pleased with the results of attempting to spin a happier ending (and a not-entirely-joking beach vacation) for Cardell and Winge.

fic you want to rewrite / expand on: I've actually already done a rewrite of one that I felt particularly needed a second take with time (that being 'sleep in it slowly (if you can)' / 'Midwinter Thaw', my pair of winter-at-Graçay Hornblower fics) and am in the process of working on another — both of the fics getting done over in this way were written fairly quickly and mostly while I was sick, which left them with some oddnesses that I'm enjoying getting to smooth out in the later versions. and both of these also do happen to be things that I'd like more fic about in general, so I might as well write myself what I'd like to read. some of my earlier Treasure Island fic also could probably do with a revision, since I've grown a lot as a writer (and also as a Person!) in these few years, but that'd take time I don't really feel inclined to use for that right now.

when it comes to expansion and sequels and such, I'd really love to write more in the same continuity as my most recent Sharpe fic (giving the Chosen Men the Monstrous Regiment treatment certainly deserves more time than I've given it thus far!) and I've got a great many more Flintlock Fortress tales in the works as well.

share a bit of a wip or story idea you are planning on:

“Whatever it is is clever — my snares are sprung, but there’s nothing there.” “That’s a man done it then.” “No, there’s only paw-prints, no boot-marks at all. And big ones, too.” He spread his hand to indicate the size, fingers splayed nearly to their full extension. “There’s nothing got paws as big as that, Dan,” said Cooper, with a little less conviction than he’d aimed for.

here's another chunk of my Ladyhawke AU for Sharpe, which has been taking up quite a bit of space in the old braincase these past few days. hopefully I shall manage to make it to the actual meat of the plot soon, altho' I'm also enjoying the sort of shenaniganerous Lads' Miserable Camping Trip of it all thus far!

and hm, I see a lot of the usual suspects have been tagged already — @dxppercxdxver, @kigiom, @bishakespeares, @baronetcoins, @phoenixflames12, would you like to give this game a go?

[sprinklecipher]

How long would an audiobook of the AA Trilogy be

So, the other day I randomly thought about what it would be like if the Ace Attorney games were ported to audiobooks somehow (I’m not saying it makes sense, necessarily, just bear with me), and, being a numbers kind of lady, one of the things that I wondered about was just how long they would be if they were. Since I’m a mega nerd, I decided to come up with some estimates using the *Power of Math*.

Here’s what I came up with; details about my sources and the assumptions I used for the calculations below the cut

AA1/PWAA:

The First Turnabout:                        ½ hour (25 - 33 minutes)

Turnabout Sisters:                            2 ½ hours (132 - 169 minutes)

Turnabout Samurai:                         3 ¼ hours (170 - 219 minutes)

Turnabout Goodbyes:                     4 hours (212 - 273 minutes)

Rise from the Ashes:                       7 ½ hours (396 - 509 minutes)

AA1 total: 17 ½ hours (10 hours without RftA)

AA2/JFA:

The Lost Turnabout:                        1 ¼ hours (60 - 77 minutes)

Reunion, and Turnabout:              4 hours (213 - 274 minutes)

Turnabout Big Top:                          4 ½ hours (239 - 307 minutes)

Farewell, My Turnabout:               7 ¾ hours (409 - 525 minutes)

AA2 total: 17 ¼ hours

AA3/T&T:

Turnabout Memories:                     1 ½ hours (78 - 100 minutes)

The Stolen Turnabout:                    5 ¼ hours (275 - 354 minutes)

Recipe for Turnabout:                     5 ¼ hours (277 - 357 minutes)

Turnabout Beginnings:                   1 ½ hours (85 - 110 minutes)

Bridge to the Turnabout:               8 ½ hours (446 - 574 minutes)

AA3 total: 21 ¾ hours

AA Trilogy total: 56 ½ hours

(The totals are based on the number of minutes, so the hours might not add up exactly due to rounding differences)

So, basically, what I’m envisioning is essentially an audiobook narrator (or voice actors, I guess?) reading all of the dialogue aloud, which means that you could approximate how long individual parts of the audiobook would be using a formula like this:

Expected audiobook length (in minutes) = Overall total dialogue word count * expected proportion of total dialogue encountered per playthrough / typical spoken words per minute for audiobook narration

Now, you just need numbers to swap in for each of those three components.

For the dialogue word counts, I used the total word counts per episode from this graph I made (details about the data it uses in the linked post)

I went with 0.80 (or 80%) for the proportion of dialogue encountered per playthrough. This specific value is arbitrary, tbh, but it accounts for the fact that there’s a good chunk of dialogue that would normally be skipped or inaccessible (like dialogue for all of the choices that you don’t pick)

I used 160 as the estimate for spoken WPM, based off a note in this study saying that typical audiobook narration ranges from 140 to 180 WPM

That might sound pretty involved, but really what all the above means is I copy/pasted a handful of numbers into Excel and put in some formulas :P

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Also, FWIW, Poccigoni made a post on the AA subreddit compiling lengths of YouTube video playthroughs of each episode in the series, and the episode total word counts (and so, corresponding audiobook length estimates) correlate with those at r = 0.97 (i.e., extremely highly), which is strong evidence that the word count totals are a good proxy measure for episode playthrough length. That isn’t strictly relevant to this post, but it is something that I noticed and wanted to document here because I would 100% forget that I checked that if I didn’t