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barovianchickenandwaffles · 2 years

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A Gift For Yuletide: another Barovian Tale

So, there I was one wintry night ending a shift at the cash register, when in walked through the front door none other than the Devil Strahd’s very own consort, Escher. I bowed and said, “master Escher, to what do I owe the pleasure?” As I bowed behind the register, my right hand fished for the crossbow with the silvered bolt in it.

“Spare me the pleasantries, peasant,” he laughed whimsically. “Also, I will forgive you for the weapon you are attempting to draw out if you will assist me on a quest.”

Welp, so much for that idea. Also, I realized just then that I forgot to change out the garlic overhanging the door ages ago. Note to self: get 2Wash2Furious, my ogre zombie, to change it out when Escher’s not looking.

“I need a gift for Strahd for Yuletide. He had a great abundance of gifts, and if I am to win his attention back, it needs to be something spectacular. Something, unique. Something coveted by all in Barovia.”

“No, you don’t mean….” I gasped in genuine alarm.

“Yes, that. Pack your gear, we are going to the Amber Temple.”

“Gary, take over for a bit.”

I probably should have planned better. I forgot that Mount Ghakis is a) high up, and b) cold and snowy. I had thrown on a pair of thick shoes and one of those cheap, knock-off elf cloaks they make in Sithicus for tourists.

We climbed the slopes, avoiding hungry wolf packs. When raiders ambushed us, Escher dispatched them with ease. At Tsolenka Pass a great bird flew overhead, their wings blotting out the sky for a moment. Escher immune to the cold and to the dread of this place dismissed it with a wave. “Try making fried chicken out of that thing?” I chuckled half-heartedly. How in the Nine Hells was I expected to haul that thing all the way back?

Besides, a lingering doubt in my mind was growing: once I help him obtain his Yuletide present, what’s to stop him from betraying me and leaving me behind in the Temple? Or worse.

We came at last to the fabled Amber Temple, which despite its name was a place of dread and spiritual poverty. Escher pushed open the doors with ease. I followed behind, feebly cradling my crossbow, my only real defense.

As we carefully navigated the halls of the temple, avoiding traps thanks to Escher’s knowledge of the place, I asked him, “sir, with all your wealth and financial independence, what’s to stop you from finding a more … compelling gift elsewhere without risking our necks for this one?”

“Because, this one is one of a kind, and will never be made again. Your long-term planning and foresight to avoid printing more was perhaps a wise choice. Scarcity brings value, no?”

I shrugged.

We came to the room we sought. There, in the middle was a ring of fire, waist high, surrounding a scrap of paper that was suspended in the air. Even from this distance I knew the words “One Free Deluxe Chicken and Waffle Meal” were scrawled on it by my own hand. The BCnW Coupon Supreme: my greatest folly.

We approached the flames and Escher reached over it, toward the Coupon, when the flames erupted and consumed his hand and forearm. In pain he jerked his hand back and it was a charred stump. Escher, wide-eyed, stared at it agape. “Powerful magic guards this relic,” he said.

“We have a difficult decision to make,” I said. “Someone has placed a powerful ward here, and I have no way to get to it. How much do you really want to win back Strahd’s favor?”

Escher looked at the Coupon Supreme longingly and then at his hand. It would heal in time, but could he afford to risk anything else?

“Screw it,” he finally said. “My self-respect is not worth this. Let’s get him one of those crappy, lead-painted ornaments you sell.”

“Works for me.”

… and so, deep in the Amber Temple the Coupon Supreme waits for a brave, powerful adventurer willing to risk it all to save 1sp and 2cp (coffee refills not included).

A (Not So) Merry Yuletide to Everyone!

#dnd #ttrpg #barovia #ravenloft #tumblrloft #waffles #barovian tales #barovian chicken and waffles #fried chicken #eat at oleksii’s #escher

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lady-nightmare · 2 years

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Google translation:

Shock on Russian TV: attack on Poland, we will enter Warsaw

Russia and another departure on propaganda television. Are they eating some psychedelic carcasses? The propagandist Solovyov talks again about the attack on Poland and the entry of Russian troops into Warsaw.

Russian propaganda is proof of the inefficiency of the Russian health service? Putin's top propagandist and supporter of Ukraine's complete destruction, Vladimir Soloviev, was on TV again. He stated that the Russian army could attack Poland and even enter Warsaw. In his opinion, the capital of Poland would be occupied by the Chechen special forces "Achmat" and the 141st Special Motorized Regiment. Akhmat Kadyrov, subordinate to Ramzan Kadyrov.

According to the propagandist, the Russian army would attack Poland "just to check how the situation is." He believes that since the West is supplying Ukraine with a lot of air defense systems, heavy equipment and missiles, it "is naked and has a weakened rear."

As Radio ZET reminds, the 141st Special Motorized Regiment named after Akhmat Kadyrov took part in the aggression in Ukraine, in the first days of the war he fought to capture the Hostomel airport near Kiev.

In April, an adviser to the Ukrainian president, Oleksiy Aretovych, admitted that Chechen special forces were involved in the slaughter of civilians in Bucha. Due to the habit of Kadyrovites posting staged videos on Tik-Tok or other social networking sites, in which they shoot and storm empty buildings, basements or bushes, they are ironically referred to as "tiktok army", "tiktok army" or "tiktok troops", writes Radio Zet.

#russia #poland #putting a side why it is at least currently impossible #it shows how they think #it shows agressor mentality #propaganda #russian propaganda #russia is a terrorist state

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allhailbrokeloose · 2 years

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tag ten people you wanna get to know

@celestialsapphicc ty sm for tagging me!!

Favorite color: black and grey

currently reading: why kids kill inside the minds of school shooters

last song: stepdad - eminem

spicy/savory/sweet: savory

favorite alcoholic drink: gin basil smash but tbh anything that burns

currently working on: ah ah ah ah stayin alive

traditional or modern: modern

favorite writer: don't really have one

favorite desert: currently mango roti

favorite rapper: three - cunninlynguists

favorite sports player: its a tie between reus and lewandowski <333

bedroom color: blue

favorite politician: idk if hes considered a politician but oleksiy arestovych

loyalty or lust: loyalty

favorite time period: 1920s and distant future as seen in pop culture

pizza or pasta: pizza

are you vegan/vegetarian: i have been for about ten years, currently i have some health issues and docs strongly suggested i quit. i only eat fish and poultry tho

love or hate: well love ig but it needs more context lol

last series you watched: big dragon. i decided after kp that maybe i should give bls another chance. i shouldn't have tbh. anyways WATCH KINNPORSCHE

classical or rock music: rock

fairy or dragon: dragon but at a safe distance lol

got or lotr: neither but if i really really have to choose then lotr

i never tag anyone but today im liek why not so guys im sorry and feel free to ignore @esenvano @charlotte1211 @wardley10 @k1tty9992 @m3dialuna @mutualfond @mikkaeus @vegas-theera

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recentlyheardcom · 10 days

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Healing the Hurt: Understanding Stomatitis

Author Oleksiy Denysenko Published April 9, 2023 Word count 522 Stomatitis is a condition that refers to inflammation of the mouth and lips. It can cause discomfort and pain, making it difficult to eat, drink, and speak. Stomatitis can occur in people of all ages, from infants to the elderly, and can be caused by a variety of factors. In this article, we will explore the symptoms and…

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alyoosha · 1 month

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matters to no one / dumping to the void here but strongly considering committing to the name changes that i have been puddling with for years 🥲

yevgeny > yevhenii

viktor > yuriy

alexei > oleksiy

kadnikov > koltyk

to be honest i’m not very sold on the surname koltyk but i like how it sounds. also a little heartbroken to move away from alyosha and in my searching i think lesha could be a substitute, but does it really hit my heart the same…? idk 🥲 i prefer olek to alex but alyosha is my love

i could call them A, B, and C for all it matters at this point but the consideration still eats at me. never mind my endless wondering if these spellings would even be accurate to the time period. 1 method i have for that is going through notable peoples lists with the names on wikipedia and seeing when they were born. but then again their names are just anglicised from cyrillic so really i could argue that Val just chose whatever spelling she wanted. perhaps i am looking too deeply into this for a fictional story about witches in 1910s europe but really it matters to me 😭

#do i have a writing progress tag #the only one i know of is #hehe #i do Not feel hehe about this 🥲☹️

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capturedukrainians · 9 months

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#prisoner of war #ukraine #russia #war #pow #russian atrocities #oleksii anulia #torture #rape

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andritambunan · 2 years

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My Top 10 Favorite Portraits of 2022

1.) Collette Pervette, Ph.D., an educatrix and a professional dominatrix, poses for a portrait during Renew Breakup Bootcamp, a retreat designed to help participants who are divorced or dating, single or separated, heal from a breakup.

2.) Scott Stone of Yolo Land & Cattle Co. The cost of bailing has increased 75% since the previous year. Drought and wildfires have impacted the ranching industry, increasing operating costs, decreasing beef production, and thus causing a rise in beef prices.

3.) Sheriff Mike Fisher of the Downieville Sheriff's Department has experienced a labor shortage due to the COVID-19 pandemic.

4.) Camille Parmesan is an ecologist and an expert in the effects of global climate change on biodiversity.

5.) Dan Efseaff , Paradise Recreation & Park District Manager, is working on a project that would build a firebreak and trail system that would encircle Paradise as a fire risk reduction from a community standpoint that is necessary to keep wildfire preparedness accessible to neighborhoods

6.) Lena Tolly had an extreme form of the disorder, binging multiple times a week and feeling a loss of control when they binged. She is one of the first to try a new treatment to help people with an eating disorder that uses deep brain stimulation and involves placing electrodes in the brain to regulate aberrant brain signals.

7.) Auntie Lilia posed for a portrait in front of Seafood City supermarket as a part of a new initiative to combat anti-Asian Hate in my hometown of Sacramento.

8.) Mikaela Sanford worked for Rick Singer for six years, submitting college applications on behalf of clients and taking online courses for teens on around a dozen occasions. She pleaded guilty to her role in the Varsity Blues admissions scandal and has been sentenced.

9.) Faith Pulido spoke out on the harmful working environment at the State Capitol where she worked for 2 years for the Senate Democratic Caucus in which she experienced harassment from a senior member working at the Capitol.

10.) Ukrainian professional strongman, Oleksii Novikov, competed in the 2022 World’s Strongest Man Competition in Sacramento, CA.

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yeonchi · 5 years

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Sasha Fokin (Crazy Ukranian Kid) - Behind the Meme

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The language barrier is such a wonderful thing. Without the ability to understand the context behind something, we can react to it any way we want. As such, people are so easy to judge others.

The three-minute video above is usually the only thing that Westerners know about Sasha (because this is usually the only bit that gets used in memes and as such, is the only bit that gets translated). Sasha’s story is a two-parter that premiered in December 2011 with a lot of golden meme material left untapped. I know because I bothered to watch the videos and I used a bit of extra material in my own parodies, which I did in high school.

This show is a Ukranian adaptation of the BBC show Honey, We’re Killing the Kids, which was broadcast from 2005 to 2007. The show’s name in Ukranian is Кохана, ми вбиваємо дітей (Kokhana, my vbyvayemo ditey) and amazingly, it was broadcast on STB from 2011 to 2017. I mean, is it really surprising for a channel that has been known for reality TV?

I must warn you, I am only able to recap Sasha’s story (in the two-parter) from what I can see. The show was broadcast in Ukranian, but YouTube’s auto-transcription system assumes that it’s Russian, so the English translation I get is not very good. Part 1 is here and Part 2 is here.

Context

11-year-old Sasha lives with his mother Elena and 5-year-old little brother Oleksiy. Elena is a single OL, so presumably Sasha and Oleksiy are left at home. Sasha is addicted to computer games and television. He is known to play violent and gory video games. We see him laughing at a violent cartoon. There was a line where he said something that translated to “swears, blood and tits”. He and his brother are known to fight each other and they don’t eat healthily. His grandmother can’t control him and he refuses to do his homework.

The brothers are taken to do some tests to analyse their current condition. Elena meets with the host, Dmytro Karpachov, who shows them simulated images of what Sasha and Oleksiy would probably look like in their current situation when they turn 40. Sasha kind of looks like Sal from Futurama while Oleksiy reminds me of Brad Garrett (who played Robert in Everybody Loves Raymond). The life expectancy of Ukranian men at the time was 62; it was predicted that Sasha and Oleksiy’s life expectancies would be 59 and 57 respectively. Dmytro gives the family a few rules to live by for the week, which include limiting their screen time and only playing non-violent games, a change in diet and giving the brothers their own spaces.

Next, we see the family implementing their new rules for the first week. The brothers don’t want to eat the healthy food and Sasha begins playing his violent games again. We then come to the first half of the meme video, up to the point where Sasha goes into the kitchen and starts whacking some papers on the chair. What you didn’t see after that was that Elena came into the kitchen and Sasha attempts to attack her with anything he could find. She lectures him for a long time and Sasha is finally convinced to do his homework.

The next day, Sasha and Oleksiy are taken to a karate class in the hope that they can get some exercise. Interestingly, he gets interviewed during the class while the other kids stand in a line behind him. We then see them back at home practising their karate moves. Elena prepares a healthy dinner and both Sasha and Oleksiy are willing to eat it. They have the bedroom renovated and they get the kids involved.

On the third day, the kids are taken to a speech therapist. Upon getting home, Sasha is on the computer again and in getting him to do his homework, there is a verbal altercation between him and Elena. Elena has someone come in to create a new user account for Sasha so she can limit his use of the computer. This leads us to the second half of the meme video. Sasha goes on the computer and is led to use the new account that was made for him. He discovers that he can’t access his games or the internet. There’s the bit from the video where he makes a creepy smile and says “I will install all the games”. The ensuing argument is skipped in the meme video, up to when Elena gets Sasha to turn off the computer and she throws the keyboard away when she can’t. We then have the scene where Sasha starts crying and screaming at his mother. That’s when the meme video usually ends, but what happens after that is absolute meme gold. Elena and Sasha start fighting again, at which point the former gets psychologist Igor Artemyeva (he’s not the father) to restrain him (I interpreted it as a rape scene in my parody). This ends Part 1.

Part 2 starts with Elena seeing Dmytro to discuss their progress. He implements three new rules on top of the previous three; “it’s time to grow up”, meaning that they should start living a more adult-conscious life, “get to know the world”, which I might have mistranslated because of auto-translate, but he arranges for them to visit an animation studio, and also for Elena to “care for [herself] more”. Yeah, I kind of borked there. I’m starting the days again.

During what seems to be the second week, Elena goes for a snorkelling session at the pool while Sasha goes to buy food and make dinner. The next day, they go to visit the animation studio, where they make a clay stop-motion cartoon. Knowing Sasha, there is a violent nature to it, but it’s as violent as Dynasty Warriors is “violent”.

Later, Sasha helps plan his birthday party and we see his friends during the party. It’s unclear to me what happens after that, but from what I can make out, we see him bending the rules at home, making food in the kitchen, going to school, coming back from school, has a friend come over, then his grandma comes over and they have what seems to be a little argument about homework or something.

At the end of the week, they see Dmytro again and he implements three more new rules for the next week; “fight against aggression”, “help and respect your elders” and “win against the computer” or something like that, I dunno, there was a finish flag there.

During the next week, the family goes go-carting. While Elena is at work, Sasha learns how to take care of the house and do his homework. He also learns to build a canvas wardrobe. Sasha and Oleksiy start fighting again and there’s another interpreted rape scene where Sasha unzips his pants (but not his underwear) and pretends to pee on Oleksiy. After comforting Oleksiy (this kid, I swear), Elena makes a life-size punching doll for them to punch and hit all they want.

This is where things start to go back to where they were. After some days, Sasha somehow goes back on the computer again. His grandmother comes in and confronts him and there’s this bit where during an altercation, Sasha pushes her away and goes back on the computer.

During Elena’s final meeting with Dmytro, she did not seem positive about the changes. The simulation of Oleksiy at 40 shows a marked improvement over the initial simulation, but Sasha didn’t seem to change much. Dmytro states to Elena that there were rules she didn’t fully implement and some generally ignored. Later on, Dmytro goes to visit the family at their home. He finds Sasha still at the computer and in trying to speak to him, he gets sworn at.

This ends Part 2. There was also a set of behind-the-scenes footage that wasn’t in the episode, but is pretty memetic. Once again, a lot of things have gotten lost in translation, but I managed to get the gist of it. If anyone wants to correct me on something or enlighten me on the full details of what happened, feel free to contact me.

Sasha revisited

In 2015, Sasha, Oleksiy and Elena are interviewed in a special episode of the show filmed in front of a studio audience. I remember downloading the raw footage of it from VK and using the Sasha portion of it for another parody. It was nearly 30 minutes long and I had to fill it with random dialogue. I deleted the raw footage afterwards, but this YouTuber did a reaction video on that, which you can find here. And finally, you can see Sasha in glorious widescreen. In that 2015 interview, footage from this video was shown of him at school seemingly fighting a couple of others.

Around 2017, Sasha started posting on YouTube. For those of you who were wondering, 2017 Sasha looked about the same as 2015 Sasha, so this image is fake news. He’s basically a fucking gopnik now. He did a few crazy videos, but he also did a few videos talking about his time on the show as well. A couple of these “crazy” videos include this one, which seems to be some kind of debate between beer and cider that quickly turns violent, and this one, which seems to be an attempt at gopnik rap (fuck you, there’s no hardbass in this). He also did this reenactment of some key moments from the two episodes. He also had an Instagram account, but it seems to have been deleted.

This is one of the videos in which he shares his feelings about his time on the show. Gathering from this video and some other articles, I deduced that he was bullied by everyone at school after they heard about his family’s problems and was forced to change schools as a result. He also states that he doesn’t know how to act around girls, but I think that’s a separate thing considering there are other people with this problem. In this video, he mentions an incident where he shat himself in class because his tea was laced with laxatives.

Presently, he doesn’t keep up a regular social media appearance. Most of his interactions are isolated to VK, so I have no idea about it.

My thoughts

A lot of people know about Christian Weston Chandler’s life and how he is a “victim” of the trolling he received because he divulges lots of details and/or the trolling is very well-documented. Many people might have a one-sided view of him, that is, you hate him or you feel sorry for him, but there are some who have mixed feelings because of all the factors in his life that made him the way he is. CWC is different from Sasha in that even if you got both sides of the story for the former, you’d still hate him for a variety of reasons.

While there are not a lot of details on the internet (in English) about Sasha, I’d have to be one of the few people who actually feel somewhat sorry for him, after having learnt about what happened after his appearance on the show. Reality TV becomes the talk of the town and if Sasha or Minami-chan (from Japanese Kitchen Nightmares) are anything to go by, it’s that certain people, who the show seemingly fails because they don’t want to be helped themselves, are mocked quite frequently. These two have changed with time, so maybe people should be more forgiving when they see the “where are they now” stuff about them.

At the time when I made the Sasha parodies, I was under the impression that Elena was just a strict mother who was trying to get Sasha off the computer. However, some years and a lot of thinking later, I learnt that Elena was a shitty mother overall. In the end, while she got Oleksiy to eat his vegetables, she couldn’t get Sasha to control his time on the computer or respect his elders. I have mixed feelings for the older Sasha, though; there were photos and videos of him smoking, drinking and being a gopnik, but in other photos and videos, he seemed more mature.

I tried to understand Sasha’s situation as best as I could so I could make this post, but as I said, there are still things that are lost in translation and I might not understand him as well as I might think. I think the bottom line for us Westerners is, given that the meme is practically dead, that Elena was a shitty parent during the program and Sasha was bullied because of it and his actions, but he eventually became mature, even if he did have that gopnik phase. And I swear, sooner or later, I’ll have someone tell me, “Stop saying ‘gopnik’, it’s derogatory to us Slav’s!”

#crazy ukranian kid #sasha fokin

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barovianchickenandwaffles · 10 months

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[scene: Oleksii berating an adventuring party that “dined and dashed”.]

… and the horse you rode in on!

Oh, hello. I didn’t see you come in.

You know, Barovian Chicken and Waffles is committed to making our customers smile, or at least slightly less miserable and withdrawn from the ever present dread that saturates this dark realm and threatens to consume us all at the whim of the heartless and uncaring Devil Strahd.

So, uh, eat at BCnW.

“I’m loathing it 🎶”

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robbiemeadow · 4 years

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Spending Time Naked With Strangers—In a Safe Space—Can Improve Body Image

Nudism (also known as naturism) is a practice—and sometimes a lifestyle—that centers around non-sexual public nudity. As someone who grew up in the United States, I learned very early on in my life that this was taboo. I mean, whenever nudism was discussed or portrayed in the media, it was always the butt of the joke (pun intended). The impression I got was that no “normal” person would ever do this and that just being naked in front of other people is wrong, pathological, and perverted.

However, research tells us that getting naked with strangers in a safe setting probably isn’t harmful. In fact, contrary to all of the negative assumptions and stereotypes about nudism, there just might be some benefits to it.

In a recent article published in the Journal of Sex Research, researchers sought to understand how nude socialization is linked to people’s body image. Could spending time naked improve how people feel about their appearance or help them to appreciate their bodies more?

This paper presents the results of the first-ever randomized controlled trial of communal nudity. Specifically, 27 men and 24 women were recruited in London for an experiment in which they would “hang out” with others and, if desired, drink wine.

Participants were randomly divided into two groups. In the control condition, participants were told that “all you have to do is enjoy yourself in the company of the other participants.” In the naked (experimental) condition, participants were told to “(1) enjoy yourself in the company of the other participants and (2) do so naked. All participants are expected to disrobe for this part of the experiment.”

Note that this study was approved by a university ethics committee, the possibility of nudity was mentioned on the informed consent document, and participants were repeatedly told that they had the option of withdrawing at any time. In other words, people freely chose to take part in this study and they didn’t have to do anything they weren’t comfortable doing.

Participants in both conditions were further instructed to create a safe space by treating everyone else with “dignity and respect at all times” and they were told that offensive, inappropriate, and harassing behavior would not be tolerated.

After the study, participants completed a survey that included a measure of body appreciation (note that participants also completed a body appreciation survey before the socialization activity so that researchers could compare responses).

What they found was that, for participants in the naked condition, body image was significantly more positive at the end of the study than it was in the beginning. For those in the control condition, there was no significant change in body image.

Further, they found that “social physique anxiety” (anxious feelings about the way others look at your body) was lower for those in the naked condition, and that this accounted for the increase in body image reported by these participants.

In other words, communal nudity seemed to make people feel less anxious about how others viewed their bodies which, in turn, made them appreciate their own appearance even more.

Please note that this was a small study conducted in the UK with an almost all White sample, so we need to be mindful of the limitations. Thus, we shouldn’t assume that these results would necessarily generalize to other persons and cultures. Also, it’s possible that this study selected for those who had more experience with public nudity, or more willingness to try it in general, so they might not be representative of the broader population.

That said, these findings suggest that communal nudity—when it occurs in a safe space—has the potential to improve body image. This is an important finding because we know that negative body image is related to a number of problematic outcomes, including several mental health issues (e.g., depression, eating disorders), as well as sexual and relationship difficulties (e.g., avoidance of sex with one’s partner). Interventions that improve body image therefore have the potential to offer a number of positive downstream effects, although we clearly need more research to demonstrate this definitively.

Of course, this isn’t to suggest that communal nudity is the only way to improve body image or that nudity is necessarily the best approach for everyone. However, for those who are open to trying it, spending more time naked just might offer some psychological benefits.

Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook (facebook.com/psychologyofsex), Twitter (@JustinLehmiller), or Reddit (reddit.com/r/psychologyofsex) to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram.

To learn more about this research, see: West, K. (2020). I Feel Better Naked: Communal Naked Activity Increases Body Appreciation by Reducing Social Physique Anxiety. The Journal of Sex Research.

Image Source: 123RF/Oleksii Zabusik

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mercy-thompson-fanfiction · 8 years

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Previews Galore

Not really a preview in the traditional sense because it’s already been posted. Part 2 of my little fan fiction on AO3 has been started. There were only supposed to be 2 parts to begin with but now there’s a third because this story wiggled its way in between parts 1 and 2. So here’s the first chap for “Whispered Promise” as it appears on the archive. Love getting the comments and such.

Full Story (or as much is actually posted) here

“Who else is there?” Dad asked skeptically. I covered the receiver and glanced at the only other person in the apartment with me desperately. He stopped moving.

“No one, dad.” I responded, trying to sound casual.

He sighed and chose to ignore it.

“I’m not paying for an apartment for you to mess around.” He reminded sternly. The man with me had since relocated to the kitchen but threw me a grin. “How was class today?”

“It was incredible, dad.” And it had been. We had dissected pigs in lab today and I had been anxious going into it. Something about my family, we tend to only face blood when we’re hurt or when we’ve hurt the thing bleeding. “The professor really likes me and he suggested I try and apply for a summer study with him.”

“That’s great to hear.” He sounded relieved. I knew that he had been anxious leading up to today as well. “So you think you’re starting to adjust a little better now? …Porsche? I told you, if you need us to come get you, we can. It’s not a problem.”

 “I…I have to go.” The man beside me looked at me confused.

“Porsche…” Dad trailed off. “You need to talk to someone if you’re not feeling well about this. Your mother would probably like to hear from you? Maybe Sam, he’s in a closer field of study. Maybe he could help—“

“Dad it’s not about my studies.” I groaned.

“Your grandfather has tried calling you and says you ignore his calls.” He continued. “Maybe answer him? He can help you.”

“Dad, I don’t even know what’s wrong. I’m sure I’ll be fine.” I shivered and nodded towards the window. It was quickly shut. “It’s just a big adjustment, New York City and college.”

“How is the pack?”

“They’re fine. Oleksiy is very sweet, helpful. He’s taken Bran’s words to heart.”

“Everyone does.” Oleksiy was an old wolf, Ukrainian and probably from the Byzantine era. He never divulged just how old he was. The only reason I doubted my assessment was because Bran had implied he was younger than I’d assumed. “No one is bothering you? You’re eating?”

“I’ve still felt nauseous.” I admitted. “I’ve been eating though.” Truth be told, whatever was cooking in the kitchen was making me feel like throwing up.

“You’re too young to behave like this.” I knew he was worried, it didn’t even need to show in his voice. Wolves needed to eat, a lot. We metabolize much faster than the average person. Mix that with the general idea that we’re predators and not eating could mean someone goes missing somewhere.

Self control is especially tough in a city like New York.

“Tell mom and Bran that I’m fine.” I sat down on the couch and laid my head back. “I don’t need a visit. I’m just trying to make myself at home here.”

“It’s already the end of September.” Dad said cautiously. “Maybe you need to transfer?”

“I’m really ok.” I promised. “I’ll call you if I need something, ok?”

“I love you.” My dad said his goodbye.

“I love you, too.” And I hung up. I stretched up and again laid my head back, closing my eyes and taking a deep breath. The only visitor I had made his way over to me slowly, a little too quietly.

“Ready for dinner?” It was Bohdan’s voice from behind me.

“Mmmm,” I yawned.

“Maybe for bed?” He chuckled. I opened my eyes to be met with green ones. “I won’t stay tonight. I know you have to wake up early for class.”

“Thanks.” I closed my eyes again and felt lips press against my forehead. Bo was second in the East Hudson pack based out of Ukrainian Village. He was a little older than my father in that Slava was in WWII, I think. He wasn’t old, then, but he wasn’t young either and he was more than aware that what we were doing was a little too dangerous.

It was probably my fault, I’d not stopped it.

“What’s wrong, Vasilisochka?” He hadn’t moved from the spot behind the couch.

“I have a headache.” I sighed, “And I still feel very nauseated.”

He made a discontent noise. I knew my answer had been upsetting him over the past few days.

“Have you talked to a doctor?”

“Everyone is so quick to say I’m not ok.” I groaned and looked up to watch him walk into the kitchen and grab plates. Charles had helped find me a nice apartment, I found out that there had been some arguments about where I was going to live before I came here. Bran and my father had disputed who would pay for my housing, Bran’s argument being that he could just buy me the whole building and then I can make money for the rest of my life off of it. My father’s argument had been that, while that was very nice of him, I was still his daughter and I really only needed an apartment.  Charles had played the double agent, hunting for an apartment for both of them. He stealthily—I really think this was Anna and my mother’s doing—used both of their money to buy the whole building and the rest to furnish my apartment. In the end, both had met halfway rather begrudgingly but the deed had already been done.

Bohdan just shrugged at my overly-aggressive response and stirred the pot. The kitchen itself was a cliche, everything was white and it had a window to the fire escape where I’d placed a few potted flowers. They were dying, but they were there.

His dirty-blonde hair looked much more red in the sunlight that was disappearing behind him when he turned his head to look at something.

“Who’s Ben?” My iPad was charging in the kitchen and the message must have reached it before reaching the phone beside me.

Bran had texted and he’d asked if I had spoken to the blonde-haired man back home. The man that had actively sought to avoid me the majority of my senior year.

“He’s a wolf from my father’s pack and a friend.” I shrugged, trying not to come off in any way as being hurt by Bran’s message. Bo’s eyes searched mine for a moment and I obediently looked away after a few seconds.

The problem with werewolves was that you were dealing with two separate sets of instincts. Bohdan’s wolf was much less likely to be jealous, we weren’t mates and it was a complicated situation I was trying not to overthink. Bohdan himself was more likely to be jealous.

I hadn’t seen how these relationships ended, but I knew they were often difficult and they would more often than not end. My guess was they end badly.

“Is there a reason you need to reach him?”

“What’s for dinner?” I got up, ignoring Bran’s text and pushing past him in the small kitchen.

I almost threw up, I couldn’t even think about eating. Maybe I would have to call Sam, much to my distaste. I hadn’t even responded to texts from his daughter and she would be hurt to know I reached out to her dad.

“Porsche,” I wanted to tell him to just go away, but he had cooked so I couldn’t complain. “Porsche Vasilisa Hauptman.” I froze. “What is wrong?”

“Can we just eat?” I whispered. I tried not to jump at the feeling of his hand on my shoulder. “And you know you don’t get to try that with me.”

“My apologies, I forget.” I didn’t like when he tried that. This pack was a little too eager to pull rank and quick to forget it wouldn’t work unless I let it. It make me feel sticky when the magic ran over me.

I ignored him and sat at the table. Besides dad, the only other person from home I had spoken to had been my half-sister, Jesse. I had already known what I was doing was stupid and I obviously hadn’t changed the situation at all, but I needed to hear it from someone else. She would keep a secret unless she absolutely couldn’t.

“Do you want chamomile?” Bo reached for a mug. I hadn’t even heard the teapot go, my senses were getting dull from restlessness. “To settle your stomach?”

“Yes, please.” I sighed, taking a seat at the tiny kitchen table. I took the mug as it was slid to me and blew on it before taking a sip. “You put sugar in this?”

“You need to keep up your blood sugar somehow.” He reminded gently, taking the only other seat across from me. “The full moon is soon, little Vasya.”

This pack often chose to call me by my middle name, which surprised me at first. Much of the pack was of Ukrainian descent and my middle name was Russian. Vasilisa Mikulichna was a bogatyr and a woman. My understanding was that my mother had wanted to give me something of my father’s heritage since he chose Porsche. Vasilisa came to the court of Prince Vladimir dressed as a man in order to save her husband. The other option had been to name me after Princess Nastasya of Lithuania. My mother’s first problem had been the “of Lithuania” but an afterthought was the fact she was killed by her own husband in some sort of accident.

My mother didn’t want to name me with a fate, she isn’t superstitious to my knowledge but someone seemed to have pushed her into that one.

“You didn’t need ‘little,’” I mumbled, taking another sip. He looked up at me from his cup and I knew he was smiling from his dimples. “It’s already a diminutive, you didn’t need to double that.”

“You are little.”

“And Vasilisa was a warrior.” I reminded with a raised eyebrow.

“And your father is fourth in the country, your grandfather is the Marrok, you call his sons by uncle. You were raised to be a warrior.” It was then I realized he had slipped a plate in front of me as he had sat down. “But you don’t eat like one.”

“You speak like you are far older than you are.” I rolled my eyes. To appease him and everyone else, I picked up my fork and moved things around.

He just laughed.

#Mercy Thompson series #mercy thompson fanfiction #ao3

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jodybouchard9 · 7 years

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6 Shocking Money Pits Hiding in Your Home

alexfiodorov/iStock; Oleksii Glushenkov/iStock

When people refer to their homes as “money pits,” it generally conjures up stark and terrifying images of a huge chasm in the floor, sucking down dollars (thanks, Tom Hanks).

And the reality is that the classic big-ticket home problems, such as a faulty foundation or flooding basement, can indeed sweep through bank accounts like financial tsunamis. But just because your home isn’t plagued by these traumas doesn’t mean you’re in the clear.

The fact is, many homes have mini money pits that, over time and put together, siphon off thousands of dollars. Here’s where they’re hiding, and what you can do to keep the financial hemorrhaging in check.

1. Lightbulbs

If you have regular incandescent lightbulbs in your home, they’re burning through your heating bill. Only 10% of the energy they consume goes to light; the rest is given off as heat (resulting in a higher AC bill to boot!). That’s why the U.S. government encourages all homeowners to switch to energy-efficient bulbs such as LEDs.

Granted, LEDs might be more expensive at the outset, but they’ll save you cash over time: According to Energy.gov, if you replace just five of your most frequently used lights with energy-friendly models, you’ll save $75 a year. In fact, if every household replaced just one incandescent bulb with an LED, Americans would save more than $460 million in annual energy costs.

2. Air conditioner

“American homeowners spend $11 billion on cooling costs every year, according to the Department of Energy,” explains financial expert Andrea Woroch. So once summer comes around, it’s important to make sure to replace filters (at least once a year) to keep your air-conditioning unit in tiptop shape.

And don’t forget about the area outside your AC as well—meaning the vents.

“Your units need free, unconstricted airflow to operate efficiently,” says John Bodrozic, co-founder of energy-saving home improvement site HomeZada. “Oftentimes shrubs grow around these units, blocking airflow, causing the units to work harder, longer, and using more energy. They will also burn out quicker, requiring an expensive replacement.”

3. Fridge

Eric C. Wentworth, author of “A Plan for Life: The 21st Century Guide to Success,” notes that your fridge is a financial black hole in more ways than one.

For starters, “it’s easy to spend too much on food,” he notes. “What makes it worse is when food gets ‘lost’ in the refrigerator and eventually loses its safe shelf life and gets discarded. Nearly everyone has food in the back of the fridge or buried in a produce bin that escapes notice and isn’t eaten. It’s part of the reason why 40% of all food in America goes to waste. Per household, that adds up to about $2,000 a year.” Yikes!

The solution? Keep perishables or other items you should use at eye level to stay on your radar.

Another way your fridge eats up money is the electricity this appliance consumes. But there��s a way to curb this waste, too: Just clean your refrigerator coils—those long tubes snaking along the bottom or back of your fridge. Over time, these coils collect dust, which hinders how well they cool your perishables.

“Keeping a refrigerator well-ventilated and free of dust can knock 6% off its power consumption,” says Mike Catania, co-founder of PromotionCode.org.

4. Landline phone

We know you’re out there—you people who can’t quite quit your landline phone.

“The proliferation of cellphones has rendered landlines nearly obsolete, though many consumers still like having one for emergencies,” Woroch says. “At an average of $40 per month, it’s a lot of money to dish out on a phone you don’t use often.”

Luckily, you don’t have to sacrifice your sense security for the sake of saving. Switch to a free internet home phone provider like Ooma.

“While there’s an upfront cost to cover the device, it pays for itself in just two months,” says Woroch. “Connect the gadget to your high-speed internet and regular home phone, and pay only applicable taxes. Opting for this free service will save you about $480 annually.”

5. Energy ‘vampires’

“Ever heard of an energy vampire?” asks Woroch. “Gadgets and appliances like TVs, laptops, coffee makers, printers, space heaters, and cable boxes continue to suck energy even when turned off.”

The solution? Get in the habit of unplugging these electronics and appliances when you aren’t using them, and you’ll save big.

“Power strips are an easier and less timely alternative—some even come with a remote control for easier use,” says Woroch. “This will save you 5% on your energy bill. Considering that the average American home electricity costs are $1,300 a year, 5% savings can keep an extra $65 in your pocket.”

6. House pets

Sad, but true: Wentworth says your pet might be at the top of list when it comes to money-sucking family members.

“People often underestimate the cost of a dog or cat. In our case, our dog eats about $80 a month worth of food, nearly a thousand dollars a year,” Wentworth points out. “Add to that another $1,000 a year for pet accessories, veterinarian costs, boarding, pet sitting/walking, and grooming, and the total is about $2,000 a year. The dog will likely live about 12 years—our last dog lived to be 15—and you are looking at $24,000+ in expenditures over the life of the pet—or the cost of a new car, year’s tuition at college, or luxury round-the-world vacation. If that money had been invested in the stock market 10 years ago, it would likely have doubled to almost $50,000.”

Yes, our pets might be well worth every cent, but just know what you’re getting into before you bring some cute fur ball home.

The post 6 Shocking Money Pits Hiding in Your Home appeared first on Real Estate News & Insights | realtor.com®.

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itsyourturnblog · 6 years

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Inspired by NPR’s How I Built This Podcast

Booty Caller. It was the way-too-crass working name of a mobile app idea a buddy and I had in 2008, the year the App Store launched. Booty Caller would use your phone’s GPS to connect you with potential nearby romantic partners. We made a logo, designed the app interface, and engaged a developer. But ultimately, cowering under a daunting cloud of uncertainty, fear of failure, and lack of know-how, we filed away the project into the coulda-woulda-shoulda folder. Four years later, while we wallowed in nine-to-five obscurity, Tinder revolutionized dating.

After a decade of working for corporate America, NPR’s How I Built This podcast, hosted by Guy Raz, has re-awoken my entrepreneurial vigor and armed me with an instruction manual and the courage to capitalize on the next great idea, should it ever come my way again.

Every episode is must-listen material, but below is a list of practices you’ll need to follow to become the next How I Built This founder.

1. Ball on a ramen budget

Let us first agree it won’t be easy or glamorous, especially in the early years.

During Chipotle’s first year, founder Steve Ellis slept on a friend’s basement couch and worked from early morning until late at night.

Clif Bar’s Gary Erickson, kept his day job working in a bicycle factory for two years, all while sleeping in a garage.

Dermalogica’s Jane Wurwand worked 16 hours a day, every day, and lived a meager existence. “A big night out was a burger on a Friday night. That was huge,” she said. “We saved everything.”

2. Finance creatively

In addition to living on a tight budget, you’ll have to get creative about raising capital for your venture. Some How I Built This founders borrowed money from their moms, some from venture capitalists, but many hatched innovative financing methods.

After being rejected by 20 investors and maxing out a bunch of credit cards, the founders of Airbnb created and sold a cereal called “Obama O’s” to pay off debt. More importantly, their cereal-box hustle impressed potential investors, landing them a spot in Y-Combinator, a prestigious accelerator for small businesses.

When times were bleak, Samuel Adam’s founder Jim Koch put a coupon on 6-packs of beer offering customers a chance to buy shares in the company. All they had to do was send a check. The result? Sixty five million dollars.

3. Prototype, launch, and refine

My perfectionist tendencies often keep me from shipping projects. I want to wait until everything is perfect before launching, which it never will be. How I Built This is a great reminder to move forward with “good enough,” learning from mistakes and consumer feedback.

“There were a lot of typos,” said VICE co-founder Suroosh Alvi of their first magazine, “but it was alive.”

Airbnb was quickly thrown together for attendees of SXSW. They only managed to attract six hosts and one customer, but they learned valuable insights to improve the product. Notably, they realized exchanging money in someone’s home is awkward, leading to the creation of online payments and a way for Airbnb to monetize the site.

4. Learn as you go

You don’t need an MBA. Most of the founders just figured out things as they went along.

Richard Branson of Virgin Brands dropped out of high school to start an anti-Vietnam War magazine. When asked how he knew how to publish a magazine, Branson responded “the best way of running a business is to just throw yourself in the deep end and learn…and ask lots of questions and listen, listen, listen.”

About not going to journalism school, VICE’s Surroosh Alvi commented, “we were going to school in public.”

Even today, after Buzzfeed’s enormous success, founder and CEO Jonah Peretti feels “very unqualified for the job…I’m still figuring it out.”

5. Fake it ’til you make it

Who hasn’t heard this advice? But I was surprised to actually see it utilized by many of the builders.

Before launching TOMS Shoes, founder Blake Mycoskie had another business venture in which he convinced building owners in Nashville to sell their exterior walls for advertising. The key to getting owners to agree was to position his idea as a ‘business’. “You don’t wanna use the word ‘idea’,” he said, “because if it’s just an idea you’re not going to inspire a lot of confidence.”

While trying to secure their first space for WeWork, Miguel McKelvey and his partner secured a meeting the following day with a building owner but had nothing prepared. Spending all night creating a business plan, business cards, and marketing materials, McKelvey felt as if they had no credibility. To their surprise, the investors enthusiastically responded “oh, you actually have something here” and leased them the property.

Barbara Corcoran, real estate mogul and Shark Tank shark, was only seven weeks away from going out of business when she made her first apartment rental. With her first check she made a wise investment — a fancy coat. “It was the smartest thing I could have done with the money,” she said, “because in it, I felt powerful.”

5. Hire or partner with experts

Not everything can be faked so many brand builders found experts to help design their product.

Wendy Kopp of Teach for America did not know how to train teachers so “that’s why we found experienced teacher educators.”

Founder of Samuel Adams, Jim Koch, was a sixth generation brewer and knew a little bit about brewing beer, but also “realized I had to find the best brewmaster in America to help me…He turned me down at first.”

6. Persist in face of rejection

When times have gotten tough in my entrepreneurial endeavors, it has been tempting to tuck my tail between my legs and walk away. How I Built This has given me permission to be persistent.

In trying to find partners for Rent the Runway, Jenn Hyman was on the way to a second meeting with fashion designer Diane von Furstenburg when von Fursternburg’s assistant called to cancel the meeting. Hyman acted like she had a bad connection, hung up, and showed up anyway. Furstenburg was not interested in partnering, but introduced Hyman to Nieman Marcus, which helped get Rent the Runway off the ground.

In trying to gain ownership of the phone number 1–800-GOT-JUNK, founder Brian Scudamore made about 60 calls to find and convince the owner to transfer the number to him. “I could have given up after call 54 or 55,” he said. “I just kept going.”

7. Tell white lies

I don’t necessarily condone these examples, but according to RXBar’s founder Peter Rahal, “In the early stages of a business, you can’t break the law, but you need to bend the rules a little bit.”

In order to convince a grocery store owner to carry his yogurt, Stonyfield founder Gary Hirshberg had his friends call the grocer and ask for Stonyfield yogurt by name. The grocer later called Hirshberg claiming demand had gone off the charts.

VICE’s founder said in a media interview that a certain investor was interested in buying VICE. This investor, who had never even heard of VICE, caught wind of the story, reached out to VICE and ended up buying 25% of the company.

8. Steal from other industries

Innovation often occurs at the intersection of ideas from different disciplines and there were many instances where How I Built This founders borrowed from other places.

1–800-GOT-JUNK’s name was inspired by 1–800-Flowers and the “Got Milk” campaign.

Before TOMS Shoes, founder Blake Mycoskie had a business of selling ads for music albums on the side of buildings in Nashville — an idea he borrowed from movie ads on Sunset Boulevard in Los Angeles.

9. Remember that marketing and PR actually work

I’ve been a marketer for almost two decades and still sometimes forget that marketing actually works. It doesn’t have to be rocket science — just get your brand in front of people.

In order to generate users of dating app Bumble, Whitney Wolfe who also co-founded Tinder, went to sorority houses claiming there were a ton of frat guys on the Bumble app waiting to connect with them. She then ran over to fraternity houses and told them that a bunch of sorority girls were on the app waiting for them.

Barbara Corchoran invented a NYC real estate newsletter called The Corchoran Report and mailed it to the New York Times, who ended up quoting her on the front page of the real estate section. It gave her instant credibility and within one day she became a recognizable name to potential customers.

10. Capitalize on a previously unsatisfied consumer need

Before any of the above practices should be implemented, you obviously have to have a good idea. A key criterion for a good idea is that it meets a consumer need, ideally a previously unsatisfied one.

Rent the Runway was inspired by Jenn Hyman observing that her sister needed new outfits to wear for big events that she had not already been seen wearing on social media.

Clif Bar was created by an avid cyclist who reached his breaking point of eating gross, highly processed energy bars, so he figured out how to make a good tasting, whole-ingredient-based bar himself.

Finally, even if you already know all of this stuff, How I Built This is a great cheerleader, always providing a healthy dose of confidence and motivation.

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

*All quotes sourced from How I Built This podcast.

10 Practices of Successful Entrepreneurs was originally published in It's Your Turn on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

by Robert Heavrin via It's Your Turn - Medium #itsyourturn #altMBA #SethGodin #quotes #inspiration #stories #change #transformation #writers #writing #self #shipping #personaldevelopment #growth #education #marketing #entrepreneurship #leadership #personaldev #wellness #medium #blogging #quoteoftheday #inspirationoftheday

#ItsYourTurn #It's Your Turn #IYT #altMBA #Seth Godin #Inspiration #Stories #Change #Transformation #Blog #Medi

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