#eat shit for hating me when I type more than like 500 words you goddamn crap ass website

[mcalhenwrites]

Distraction time, aka "What if I ramble about my stories?" What if I talked about the sort of things Vivian could have had as a child if someone like Phineas had found and raised him instead? Something cheerful with a happy ending would be nice right now. Even if it's not canon. ;) If you didn’t read the original AO3 posting of Seasons to the final chapter, this does contain some significant spoilers. Wouldn’t it have been fantastic if Phineas had visited Wyskaria and noticed Vivian’s signature when he was still little? He’d be a scrappy boy in rags, but old enough he already named himself Vivian. That means he’s not without some trauma. He just didn’t endure all of it before Phineas realized what was going on and stole this abused child away from his family. Vivian would go willingly. If someone had offered him food and a way out, he might be suspicious, but he would also be desperate. What could possibly be worse than what he dealt with from his family? Phineas realizes he’s hungry when they first meet, leaves, returns with food. Vivian is shocked but immediately snatches the food. Then he backs off. Until Phineas shows him magic. Child Viv is not like 400 y/o Viv. He’s impressed. Fascinated. Maybe he would have named himself after Phineas instead if he had met him first. Phineas doesn’t push Viv to come with him. All he does is feed him over the next couple of days. Then he says he’s going to leave town. “You can come with me if you want. You don’t have to stay here.” Vivian follows the food and the kindness. He’s a bit cautious but mostly? He’s hopeful. This is different than it was with Gideon, who forced Viv into structure immediately.

Phineas finds some better clothes and necessities for Vivian, including a toy. This is Viv’s dream. The 400 y/o canon Vivian wanted this childhood. In a different story, he can have it. Phineas introduces him to his family slowly. They visit a couple of his children, who dote on Vivian beecause he’s young and they have kids and hand-me-downs. He feels like a prince. He’s quick to accept Phineas’s affection. After a month or two, he’s happily hugging Phineas on his own. It takes a few more months for him to kiss him on the cheek. Phineas assigns Vivian a birthday based on what he knows, which is that Vivian loves it when it’s snowing. So he gives him a winter birthday. Then asks him what he wants to eat to celebrate it. Vivian wants the same treat he tries to make for Howie in Seasons–the one with fruit in fried bread that’s dusted with nuts and sugar–as his special dessert. For savory dishes, Phineas fixes Vivian some delicious pumpkin pasta with cheese, cabbage and sausage, and a baked ham. He has picked up on some of Vivian’s favorite foods since he took him in. While Phineas often likes to tease many of his children, he doesn’t do this with Viv. He senses that it might be too much–at least while he’s still young–and refrains from joking too much with him. He knows each kid is different. While certain approaches work with one child, it doesn’t with another. Vivian is sometimes a little fiesty and self-defensive, but he’s easily calmed by a gentle reminder from Phineas. He doesn’t think Phineas is soft on him. All he knows is that his other family was cruel and violent, and Phineas is happiness and safety. This isn’t a man who decides his savior is allowed to hurt him to some degree because he was also kind to him. This is a Vivian who is told his autonomy should be respected. Phineas is “Daddy” within a year’s time. Even when Viv enters his teens, he can’t help but use the more childish address. In part, this is because Viv–in most universes–still remembers his early years and it makes him yearn for a do-over. If only Phineas had been his birth Daddy. If only Phineas had found him before his human family. Vivian plays with toys a little older than other children. He’s physically affectionate but never clingy, always lounging close to Phineas because he likes being in proximity to his father. He likes consistency and schedules, because they make him feel safe. Traveling with Phineas stresses him out a bit. He prefers when they’re staying in one of Phineas’s many homes, although he doesn’t mind switching it up sometimes. He just doesn’t like it when Phineas goes to a new place entirely. That’s too much uncertainty for Viv. (Note that this is all before Daz is born and Cole is found when Phineas goes back to Wyskaria. And yes, those do still happen.)

Viv is a bit like Cole: he sticks to Phineas’s side a lot longer than a child usually would to a parent. Not to care for him the way Cole does, but the other way around. (Although maybe it will be different, because Viv being around does change a bit of the timeline, and that means Daz and Cole never encounter the danger that ends Daz’s life.) When he first realizes he has magic at fourteen, he welcomes it, but he uses it for whimsical things–not unlike how Sophie used hers when she came into it. Vivian is reluctant to go to college, but he likes numbers and their consistency, and Phineas encourages him to go meet people and study. Graham doesn’t get into trouble for always talking to Vivian, who has an explosive temper in another timeline. This Viv knows a bit of sign language from traveling with Phineas and can talk to Mabel. He’s a bit on the shy side, but he’s hoping if he sticks around often enough and gains Mabel’s approval, the cute apprentice will like him better. It works. The two get married surrounded by their loved ones. They build a house together. Vivian dreams of the future, and the cries of the cicadas still bring him an accident. He knows exactly who to turn to for advice and assistance. By then, Graham and Viv have had conversations about what kind of parents they want to be. Graham loves Vivian and attributes that to Phineas being a wonderful dad, and he tries his best to model after that instead of modeling after his own father. (Especially with their issues, which they work through before his father’s death.) Graham wants a lifetime with Vivian. They’re goofy and affectionate. They bring their six children to Phineas’s orchard sometimes, because it’s where Vivian is safest. Uncle Cole and Uncle Daz are terrible influences on all five of the kiddos. ;)

[justtryingyaknow]

Hey it's me the anon from earlier... I'm glad to hear you got a round 2 and are feeling a bit better! My au idea was basically that the Reds and the Blues are rival newspapers and that they are battling it out to become the main newspaper locally. You could add in some other factions if you wanted to of course. Idk I just like the concept and I think you have really creative ideas so I wanted to send in the request. Thank you for your time :)

Hello anon! Here is a very casual, slightly longer than expected response to this! I did take some creative liberty because, as recorded, I am a plot whore and I love you’re AU idea but couldn’t find a way to condense! So still rivals, but over more casual setting! Thanks for the request and I hope you enjoy!

Grif’s fingers hover over the keyboard. He’s acutely aware that Simmons is leaning over his shoulder watching his screen, assessing his every word. The sweat on his face forces him to push his glasses up.

“Just type a damn word, Grif!” Simmons breaks, causing Grif to smash the keys ending with a jumble of letters on the otherwise blank document.

“I can’t type when you’re watching me like this! It’s too much goddamned pressure.” Grif pushes back and storms to the box of donuts he brought in this morning.

“You can’t eat right now! You’re going to get the keyboard all sticky with jelly!”

“It’s my keyboard, I can cover it in as much stickiness as I want.”

“What was that?” Donut removes an ear bud perking up.

“Fuck off, Donut!” Grif growls around a mouth of boston creme.

“Yeah, fuck off Donut!” Simmons echoes.

“Fine, at least my segment is written.” Donut pops the ear bud back in. Simmons can’t argue with him about that.

“Just write the fucking segment, Grif. Literally anything. It doesn’t have to be perfect.”

“If Grif’s writing it, it’ll never be perfect.” The team has really done it now. Simmons stands up straight watching Sarge raise from his chair where he’s been sitting quietly (for once). “So, if you want to be the reason we don’t make it to print this week, and there by making us lose to the damn blues, well, be my guest!” His spit flies out, coating Grif/

“Why don’t you just write it, if you’re so freakin’ perfect?” Grif reluctantly tosses the donut, now covered in Sarge’s spittle.

Sarge looks at the computer, as though considering it as a possibility. “Oh? And then I could make ya dinner, and wash your clothes while I’m at it?”

“Yeah, yeah.” Grif makes his way back to the chair.

“Then I could tuck you and your little sister into bed, give you kissies on the forehead?! Huh, soldier?” And there was the spit again.

“I already sat down, just let me type!” Grif swiveled the chair and immediately started cranking out a feature on a new dog park.

“Simmons! Report!” Sarge stands, power posing in the middle of the workroom. He delights in watching his worker bees buzz around; Donut getting ahead on an entertainment piece, Lopez checking the weather and business information, and Simmons red in the face checking the layout for the hundredth time that day.

“Everything is in; we just need 500 words from a certain lazy fatass who put off the article assigned to him two weeks ago.”

“200.”

“You did not write 300 words in just that time.” Simmons sputtered and rushed back to Grif’s computer. “Oh my god.”

“I’m a fucking prodigy, Simmons. Bask in my glory.”

“You did nothing all day!”

“Don’t fight the muse, man… Oh, and grab me a coke.”

“Fuck you. And even if he finishes right now, can we get it to print in time?” At the close of his question, Donut is strapping on rollerblades.

“I can do this, years of rolling around with a bunch of guys is paying off!”

“[Please, just say you were on a men’s roller skating team.]” Lopez doesn’t look up from his computer, only sighing to express his continued discomfort with the rest of the team’s shenanigans.

Across town, the rival newspaper team’s boss pores through the final copy.

“Did you… make this figure up? The average person owns 4 and a half dogs in Blood Gulch? That cannot be possible.” Church sips his coffee while staring at the statistic.

“I did the math, asshole. Caboose counted the dogs in BG and I divided it by the population.” Tucker sips his drink, which is definitely not coffee.

“Do you know anything about outliers? Caboose has like 10 dogs dude. Do you know how much he’s going to skew this shit?”

“So what, do you want me to take it out?” Tucker crosses his arms.

“Eh… You think someone’s going to call us on some bad numbers?”

“My numbers aren’t bad! My numbers are good. I have the best numbers, like 6!” Caboose sips his orange juice out of a mug, trying to fit in with everyone else.

“Yeah, we know. Thanks, buddy. The movie review is good this week, by the way.” Church turns to face him. Tucker would call him out on the kindness, but he knows that Church (despite being an unending asshole) has a somewhat soft spot for Caboose. Caboose beams.

“Ok, so we sending it to print or what?” Tucker is still standing by. “You know the reds probably are running to the shop right now.”

“When did you care about the stupid rivalry?”

“I don’t. I just like the way they all get pissed off, man. It’s fucking comedy gold. Simmons gets all red and starts yelling at Grif, you know he’s all ‘GrIF” Tucker fakes a voice crack, “ This is your fault!’ And Sarge’s face gets all scrunched up and he starts threatening us.”

“You know, it is a pretty good time. Alright, 4 and a half dogs it is. Caboose, take this to the printing press!”

Tucker and Church watch Caboose take off. Neither are in a hurry, but they do want to be there to watch the Red Post’s team explode (like they always do). Church locks up the office front when a pink figure speeds past them.

“Oh shit! Donut got skates?” Tucker watches him speed up to catch Caboose. Neck and neck, they speed toward the printing shop with a paper copy in hand.

“Why don’t we just email it, I fucking hate walking down this stupid street every damn week.” Grif’s voice comes through the office door across the way. Sarge spots the Daily Blue’s Letter team and whips his head toward the race.

“Hoo boy, get ‘im Donut!” Sarge takes off running, and something snaps in Church as he starts speedwalking to keep pace.

“You have got to be fucking kidding me.” Tucker waits for the reds to cross the street and join him. “You idiots actually have a paper this week?”

“Did you idiots even fact check your’s?” Simmons quips back. Tucker looks at the ground, the thought of half a dog running in his mind.

“I’m just saying; it does take a team of 3 to do what you guys do in a team of 5, and we’re always on time. Because Blue’s Letter’s got it baby.”

“What possible joy do you get out of this?” Grif says from the back of the group. “It’s just a fucking job.”

“Who do you think actually made it to press first today?” Simmons pushes his glasses up to try and get a better look, but the fore group has disappeared inside the building. Before anyone can wager a bet, Sarge emerges, triumphant.

“Glory glory to the Red Post! We got in first, cheers to Donut, the wheeled wonder!” Sarge hollers while pulling Donut out the door.

“It was a good run, Caboose!” Donut comforts. “I haven’t had that much fun edging out a guy since last week!”

The staff reunites, Grif and Simmons shoving Tucker lightheartedly while Lopez stays beyond the fray.

“Yeah, yeah, but now you’re just a bunch of assholes standing on the sidewalk screaming, so who’s the real winner.” Church pushes past everyone.

“Ugh, fucking Reds, cockbite!” Grif shouts.

“Drinks on Blues! To the bar!” Sarge starts the chant.

“To the bar!” The rest of the reds respond. The group makes their way to the only bar in town, forcing everyone to suffer through Sarge’s 10 verses of his Red Post Salute song.

[ripplestitchskein]

You put into words exactly what I feel about how they've written her. To me, all I keep thinking of is mid s4 where she's like "Here's you heart, now I've got to do shots with Regina because she needs me more." It's just bad storytelling. It also makes me hate Regina, because a lot of Emma dealing with these issues is siphoned off into propping up the "Regina and Emma are friends" plot they keep to feed us. I don't even know if they are aware of how Emma comes across to the audience. 1/2

And I'm right with you on the TL thing. If that's what they want to sell, they are not going about it the right way at all. And it's like you said, it doesn't matter what we infer when there is nothing implicitly said in canon. What exactly are we supposed to take away from their relationship at this point? That it's okay for one person to do all the heavy lifting because the other one has "issues"? It just leaves a really bad taste in my mouth. 

This brings up a really interesting point and since a lot of people have talked about Emma's reactions in the context of their own relationship I figured why not explain why I'm so uncomfortable with it in the context of mine. Maybe that will help people understand my personal reaction. In no way am I assigning this to the characters mind you. If they choose not to go this route that's fine, I'm just saying why it bothers me as an individual. Under a cut per king and rambling. Shit, can I go on. 

I always identified with CS and Emma and Killian as characters specifically because there are so many similarities to my own life. I've talked about my teenage years, how I moved out at 16, how I got arrested for a boy who then dropped me immediately afterwards while I was dealing with the consequences. Some of the crazy shit that goes along with being a moderately attractive teen girl on her own. Obviously me and Emma are bros. 

But I identify with CS as well. I loved that Killian was all in it for her. I've written meta after meta about it. But I also keep waiting for the reciprocity, and it just hasn't happened yet. S5 HELPED certainly, I mean homegirl went to the Underworld for him, but it was still very one sided and also implied in her conversation with Neal she would have done it regardless, for anyone, if she had the option not to lose them. 

And they have been so shaky in the True Love thing it's easy to see anti arguments sometimes because the show is so muddled now it's less than clear. 

So me. 

My boyfriend and I have been together for over a decade. He's a special case because I was almost exclusively into girls at the time after my failed marriage at the very wise age of 18 for lower car insurance rates. I was not feeling the menfolk. 

We have a very odd dynamic to most people and to our families. They comment and say stupid shit about it all the time. It's actually very similar to DS and Deckhand Hook in LoAL which might be why I find that fic so easy to write. It's not a Dom/Sub dynamic, but it's similar. That's also why I find the CS dynamic in general so easy to write. There is clearly a power imbalance that allows the characters, and me and my boyfriend, to compliment each other very well by forming up the missing pieces so to speak. 

A few people have commented, both positive and negative about the things I've shared here about my life. Asked how I have so much time to fuck around on fic and meta and twitter data analysis. Or been like "goals!" When I talk about something he said or did. 

And the truth is it's because my boyfriend treats me like a Queen. It's a running joke in our house "Because you're a goddamn queen". And not in a superficial way. His life is very much about taking care of our home and our children so my only responsibilities are my career and my school and playing with and enjoying the kids when I'm home because I don't get to see them all day or for several days, and our time together shouldn't be spent on doing chores. I also handle all outside of the house interactions excepting kid wellcheck or sick visits during my work day. (I handle all school meetings, parent teacher conferences, auto mechanics, appliance shopping etc). 

That's what he likes. He doesn't have career aspirations. He doesn't care about work. He has no desire to go to school. He is uncomfortable dealing with those things and making decisions about them. He's not lazy or unintelligent by any means, he just doesn't care about those things. His favorite job was a clerk at a gas station when he was a teen because he saw interesting people and it was low stress. He's not driven by the need to succeed and do well in a certain career field or academically. Those are not motivating factors in his life. He went to work because he had to, he never wanted to be in management or running anything. Nor would he have been particularly good at it. He's very chill and not very assertive. He genuinely enjoys cleaning and cooking and teaching the kids, and doing stuff to make my life easier so it was a no brainer to have him be a Stay At Home Parent when daycare for 3 children became ridiculous. 

It brings him joy to make food I want and bring me special treats and let me have lazy days in bed where he brings me everything I need. In fact how he asked me out and expressed his intentions was getting my favorite things from several different restaurants. He just likes to do stuff like that. We've had several conversations where I tell him he doesn't have to and he's like "You don't get this at all. I want to" 

To many people it looks like I order him around, like he's a servant, like he has no life of his own. In truth I do it because he genuinely doesn't know what's expected of him in family gathering or public situations. I know this. He usually asks me to beforehand. Those situations are scary for him, where to sit, when to eat, where to go to get certain things etc. 

But in exchange for all the things he does for me he pretty much gets to do whatever he wants, and the things he likes are his games and his streaming community. He likes that he doesn't have the burden of providing an income and worrying about social concerns anymore. He can make bread and clean the house, and play games with the kids and spend hours telling them about the solar system. 

We both have anxiety and issues of our own and they manifest in different ways. His are best served by me making decisions and him doing the "heavy lifting" when it comes to the easier to handle day to day. Mine are best served by having daily life minutiae taken care of because otherwise I get overwhelmed on top of higher level concerns that may be more complex, I'm also extremely flighty and live very much in my own head and forget things like lunch or taking my vitamins. 

It could very well seem to an outsider that I take advantage of him, or that he doesn't have a sense of self outside of our relationship and family. Which at the moment is how I feel about Killian. And why it rankles so much. 

Because the difference is that we've talked about it. I've offered him choices. I spent a whole year once trying to find him a hobby because I have 500 and he has like 2 and it was weird to me. At the end of it he was annoyed and was like "This IS what I like doing. Stop trying to force these things on me. I like this." 

Same thing with the house and the kids. I offer to help and it frustrates him because he wants to do it and because he likes it. We've had many many discussions where we check in with each other and make sure we're not assuming things are okay with the dynamic because it was before. Everything he's given up (job, career, etc) was very much his choice, and he wanted to and knew how important those things are to me. 

With Killian its not his choice, he didn't want to, circumstances forced it, but he was *willing* to for Emma. It's just, he's given up so much? Like all the things, and relationships he has are given up to be the best partner. 

And in my dynamic there are very clear benefits for each of us. I don't see the benefits right now for Killian, other than him have someone to love and a reason to be a a better man. Those are great but it also veers into "at the expense of himself" territory at times. We talked about him getting a family and a home, but he's also potentially losing the JR, he's stuck on land, and the family he's gaining don't ever seem to acknowledge him or outright dismiss him and the people who did support him leave.

 I just wish there was more equity. That he still got to retain some of the things he loves, the sea, his ship, his newfound brother, being a Captain, in addition to being all in for Emma and her family, and attentive to her needs. 

There is no reason he can't have both and I don't understand on a show that is very much about "We are Both" why they strip these elements of him away. 

It would be easier to take if it didn't appear like he was doing all the heavy lifting and changing while Emma gets to keep throwing up her walls the moment something gets tough to handle. If she tried to help him get back some of the things he gave up for her once things are settled. She still could. Season isn't over. But at the moment it's been a lot of Killian giving up and not a lot of Emma, and not a lot of being mindful of his feelings or issues and getting to revert back to her own without consequence. 

That's the difference for me. 

It's fine to have a partner who does more of the "heavy lifting" but only if that arrangement is equalized in other areas. Like clearly Killian is distraught and broken up over these things he's sacrificed, he very much reminds people he's still a pirate, just a good one now. And I'd like those facets of him get to remain. For his sacrifices and his effort to be acknowledged beyond "I give him happy kisses and let him hang around."

I dunno. It just bugs me. I need more from the other side to balance this shit out. Hopefully this clears up WHY it bugs me a bit better though. I know this type of dynamic can work, and what it takes to make it work, and not be somewhat unhealthy in terms of imbalance.