#either... but... I also think ive just.... ive become incredibly incredibly frustrated with my mental and physical illnesses lately.. very

[cassyapper]

OKAY IVE ACTUALLY PLAYED TWO SESSIONS SINCE MY LAST POST SO IM GONNA COMBINE THEM HERE SORRY FOR THE LENGTH BUT,,IVE COME SO FAR I DONT WANNA STOP NOW

this is gonna be very messy cause i WILL be jumping back and forth as things come back to mind so uhh pls enjoy this absolute ramble <3

anyway. i continued playing omori and boy do i have some Thoughts

so first session; i went through the pyre(something i forgot the full name sob) forest/sprout mole village/sweetheart’s castle in one go and let me TELL YOU. DOING THAT WAS FUCKING INSANE I WENT NUTS holy shit.

so anyway.

pyre forest!!!! the lil race against the big spider coming after u for disturbing the smaller spiders mechanic was very fun i had a lot of fun figuring out the best routes to take. i know normally mechanics like that lead to ppl getting frustrated cause u have to keep retrying but i had a lot of fun!!!! sum annoyance but good natured type, th kind that just makes u try harder u know? i just enjoyed it JKFN;FN; candles in the foggy forest....now That is an aesthetic

the rare bear scared the fuckin shit out of me i remember it didn’t attack me straight away so i was like “aw (:” but then when i press x on him it takes me to a BATTLE SCREEN AND SUDDEN THAT MF IS TERRIFYING I WAS LIKE WHWHWHWHWKJDNJ. very funny i honestly wished i recorded my reaction

also omori is afraid of drowning...................................i am breathing heavily. i think whatever happened to mari is related to at least one of the things omori is scared of. so either heights, spiders, or drowning it seems. spiders doesnt seem super likely as a contributor to her death, and while falling from a height is more realistic, such a senseless way of dying doesnt seem to rlly fit ? with the vibe i get from the kiddos in the real world. which makes me think maybe drowning/otherwise suffocating is how she died...but we’ll see. also due to the forgotten library part, we know omori explicitly feared spiders/drowning before mari died so it’s also probable im jus talking out my ass here but still,,,,thoughts

also this motherfucker?

literally fucking terrifying. IT’S BODY IS MADE OF SUCC’D SPROUT MOLES...i still have no idea what exactly it was doing to them but jesus h christ!!!! evil and fucked up. do not feel bad for curbstomping it

sprout mole village!!!! very cute, im v excited to send that one dude his brother’s care package. i like how, when theyre not lost, sprout moles can be real endearing lil guys,,,theyre not my fav lil enemies but (:

also for some reason omori is the first game ive played where i really care about getting achievements ? so i literally did the back and forth on my save file just to get all the season sprout mole achievements JKDJFJ;. i ended up sticking w spring tho before moving on for real cause spring is my fav season irl (:

also i felt SO BAD for cutting down that one sprout mole’s chistmas tree he was just trying to celebrate but i wanted to see that present and coincidentally becoming a christmas ruiner was an achievement so all’s fair in love and war i suppose

ALSO. th fuckin plant monster thing under the scientist sprout mole’s room. major little shop of horror vibes from the design, absolutely adored it!!!!! originally i did  just cut the wire holding the piano over it, ending it in one go, but i was very curious abt it so i reloaded a save file to actually fight it and

i know it only spread that gas to make the kiddos happy cause being happy reduces attack i think ? it decreases attack/defense but seeing the kiddos smile so much was nice (:

however

omori...sunny....son boy.........u good ?

and now. sweetheart

the way the sprout moles completely adore and depend on sweetheart gives me such awful evil vibes and combined with such a luxurious background was fucking incredible

sweetheart herself, speaking of. bitch (sorta affectionately, certainly not derogatory)

i talked to every sprout mole in the audience before taking my seat and i literally dont know why. even when i picked up the pattern of where the unique dialogue could be found (usually the sprout moles farthest right) i still talked to all of them......just in case ? i have no idea. i dont know why i did that. i feel it’s important that i note it tho

LMAO SO WHEN SPROUT MOLE MIKE DID THE MINUTE OF SILENCE FOR YE OLD SPROUT MOLE

I LITERALLY FELT SO FUCKING BAD LMAO I WAS LIKE OH MY GOD NO!!!!!! I DID THAT!!! I KILLED HIM!!! OH MY GOD!!! I WONDER HOW AWKWARD OMORI KEL HERO AND AUBREY FELT IN THE AUDIENCE HOLY SHIT THEY HAD FRONT ROW SEATS TO SPROUT MOLE MIKE’S MOURNING!!! MY GOD FJKFN;;

also sprout mole mike describing 3′7″ inches as ”towering” was the FUNNIEST shit i have ever seen. also i have to wonder, since sweetheart made up the whole show of sweetheart’s quest for hearts in the first place, if she was seriously down to marry a sprout mole if one suited her fancy. jus v funny to me honestly. SPEAKING of sweetheart’s dating patterns I NOTICED THOSE FEM SKELETONS IN THE DUNGEON!!!!! BI SWEETHEART!!!! SHE’S JUST AS DOWN FOR GIRLS AS SHE IS BOYS

i know TECHNICALLY not everyone is in the dungeon for failing to be a good enough suitor but STILL...COME ON. THIS WAS BEFORE WE KNEW THAT. SWEETHEART BI I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL

anyway

when the lights when out and lightning struck the third contestant, i knew Immediately something was gonna go down. and when the mustache sprout mole was like “oh yes!! u!! in the striped pjs!! u absolute beast ur perfect!!!” i KNEW hero had just been selected as the replacement i was goign completely fucking nuts i was like OH MY GODNFNG; HIS HEART IS ALREADY TAKEN BY MARI!!!!!!! STOP

i ended up taking so many screenshots during this part cause i was going feral so here take a glance just cause i love, uh, hero

OUR HERO IN SHINING ARMOR DJLBH;KFJB

also GOD FUCKING DAMMIT IM SHORTER THAN HERO

hero shaking on the stage when he was introduced...oh my HEART....IM SO FOND FOR THIS BOY WTF!!!!! DKJDN;N

this is not really NEWS to me since it’s implied hero is tall but like come ON..... sorry just every time i find out a character is explicitly taller than me i need to huff about it, moving on,

HERO FUCKS

sorry i just have so many screenshorts during this aprt cause i was going fucking crazy but

literally terrifying! sweetheart bathes in that shit!! christ!

is blood good for ur skin? i imagine, so long as like...gore isnt in it and it’s solely blood it cant be BAD necessarily......but good ? regardless very fucked up. besides the fact that well, uh, BLOOD, blood is also sticky as hell. ur telling me sweetheart willinglhy bathed in that shit? disgusting. at least thin it out

anyway I HAD SO MUCH FUN DOING THE PUZZLES AT SWEETHEART’S CASTLE....FROM THE DUNGEONS TO THE KITCHENS TO THE BALLROOM TO THE LIBRARY TO THE GARDENS JUST EVERYTHING!!!! IT WAS SO FUN I ENJOYED FIGURING IT OUT SO MUCH IT WAS LITERALLY DELIGHTFUL...I LOVE THIS GAME SO MUCH THE GAMEPLAY IS SO FUCKING EPIC I LITERALLY HAVE SO MUJCH FUN.......OH MY GOD I JUST. INCREIDBLE!!!! FUCK

also the lil sir maximus bit.........i honestly felt really awful over having to kill them ): i think i even tried running once but it wouldnt let me...it hurt man ): they were just a family....

um but anyway,

i think it was rlly sweet how aubrey protested to the wedding cause she was worried abt sweetheart,,,like i cant rlly explain it idk how to put it into words,,like sweetheart is clearly not mentally well and having an episode, and aubrey being the only one to say “hey what ur doing is self-destructive and isolating” just mmmh. she cares a lot,,,and *i* care aubrey

also sweetheart’s battle theme fucking SLAPPED...SO GODDAMN HARD IM STILL QUAKING OVER IT....FUCKING BANGER YO!!!!!! INCREDIBLE

ah but alas

BASIL........I NOTICED THAT IT WAS HIS GHOST/SHADOW DURING THE EXIT FROM OTHERWORLD AS WELL BUT JUST FUCK

im so worried about basil ):

and it being so obvious that none of the others can see...........them asking omori if he’s okay.....oh my god. i go nuts

and then...the forgotten library part

i literally cried, again, oh my fucking god

these kids loved each other so much they ADORED the time they spent with each other and im QUAKING to know WHAT HAPPENED TO MARI......HOW DID THE FALLOUT GO. I NEED TO KNOW I NEED TO KNOW I NEED TO KNOW

i know there are multiple endings to this game and on god i am not QUITTING until i get the happiest ending there is for these kids im literally a goddamn fuckign mess oh my god

MARI SHWOING UP IN THE LIBRARY AT ONE POINT AND LEADING OMORI...........IM LTIERALLY GOIGN INSANE OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD HE LOVED HIS SISTER SO MUCH HE’S SO CLEARLY LOST WITHOUT HER I CANT FUCKING DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I NEED TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENED. I NEED TO KNOW I NEED TO KNOW I NEED TO KNOW

GOD

okay sorry i just. ive said ti before but the grief in this game is so real and palpable and it aches, it aches so bad. also the white egret orchids in the library...i see u

but regardless.... session two real world electric boogaloo

LOVE that kel is like “so i need to run errands but u wanna come with me right? of course u do!” like fuck i rlly do. kel is just so delightful i would literally do anything to spend time with him

ALSO i noticed u can just refuse to open the door both times kel’s knocked now and it makes me wonder....if u could choose to ignore kel ? and then venture out urself or just ? i wonder what would even happen if u chose to not open the door. im CERTAINLY not doing it myself at the very least not this playthrough but i am curious...i bet that’s how u get a bad ending, by not talking w kel

but anyway....

aubrey and her gang not saying anything in the pizza parlor........i jus think abt that is all

ALSO!! pet rocks!!!!!!!!! LOVE this lil thing it’s so cute. jus rock paper scissors it babey

speaking of lil bits, love all the mini quests in the real world...it’s just rlly fun and builds up this cute lil town........it also makes me think that whatever happened to mari cant have been anything except an accident, bc no one comments on what a tragedy it was to omori. like if it was murder, there’s no way such a horrific situation wouldnt engulf the town for a bit and sweep over it for weeks at least, but that just doesnt seem to have happened. this is def me reading too into it tho;; point is neighbors nice (: also i got the seashell necklace and i go apeshit

ALSO......THE FUCKING...........CHURCH. I VISITED WITH KEL ON A COMPLETE WHIM CAUSE I WAS CURIOUS IF THE PASTOR WOULD TALK MORE ABT AUBREY BUT NO. INSTEAD HE TALKS ABT THE WEIRD VIBE FORM THE GRAVEYARD HE’S GETTING!!! AND THE DUDE WHO CHILLS IN THE GRAVEYARD SAYS SHIT ABT THE SPIRITS GETTING READY FOR SOMEONE TO JOIN THEM!!!! BITCH WAHT THE FUCK

THERE’S NOF UCKING WAY THIS ISNT ABOUT BASIL. THERE IS NO!!! WAY!!!! I SWEAR ON GOD IF BASIL DIES I WILL LOSE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ESP CAUSE THERE IS LITERALLY NO OTHER WAY HE COULD DIE EXCEPT SUICIDE THAT’S WHAT IT HAS BEEN IMPLYING OVER AND OVER I GO NUTS I GO APESHIT NO NO NO NO!!!!!!!!!!!!

FUCK

OKAY SORRY I JUST. HHHHHHHHHHH

baby has acquired baby

kel’s family is rlly cute,,,,v heartwarming. i trust them

i do worry abt like...the stark difference between recognizing kel’s accomplishments and hero’s...i just idk. i just keep thinking abt that bit in kel’s story abt hero’s depression when his parents focused on hero and ignored him, and i just. kel’s family is good People but i worry if kel has a good support system...i jus........): i am watching

ahh THE BASIL MISSING PART MADE MY HEART LITERALLY FUCKING DROP..I WAS SO FUCKING PANICKED I WAS LIKE OH MY GOD THIS IS IT BASIL IS DEAD

THANKFULLY HE WASNT BUT HOLY GOD HOW THAT WHOLE SITUATION PANNED OUT MADE ME GO NUTS!!!!!!! BASIL...AUBREY...HER GANG.......FUCK OH M YOGD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD

THANK G O D I SNOOPED AROUND KEL’S HOUSE BEFORE LEAVING I WOULD HAVE H A T E D TO FIGHT THEM ALL AT ONCE IM GLAD I WAS ABLE TO JUST PEPPER SPRAY THEM JESUS CHRIST

oh my god kim like asking for aubrey all concerned before deciding to trust her and leaving.....kim i diagnose u with lesbain

the whole fucking. basil almost drowning scene. i seriously feel like ive changed like as a person over it. i am thinking . i am thinking. i am only evee thinking about mari and how omori just loved her so much and how the thought of her gave him strength. th pic of her ghost holding omori’s hand in the water made me cry

MMMM BUT. HERO!!!

I DIE I DIE I DIE HE’S SO PRETTY FUCK ALSO HIM PICKING UP BASIL WOOOOOOOO THIS IS WHAT IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THAT’S WHAT IT’S ALL ABOUT YEAHHHHHHHH

god i feel so bad about leaving aubrey tho. shes so clearly not okay and she so clearly did not mean to push basil in and oh my GOD I JUST...PLEASE....PLEASE CAN WE JUST TLAK TO HER I NEED TO TLAK TO HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I NEED TO FUCK

the ghosts of omori and aubrey on the swings made me cry out like i had been physically assaulted

AHH BUT THEN TAKING BASIL HOME AND WHILE HE’S IN HIS BED HE JUST SAYS “oh sunny...there’s not way out of this...is there?” I LITERALLY GO BUCKWILD APESHIT INSANE STUPDI!!!!!! BASIL YOURE PUTTING UP A LOT OF ALARMING FLAGS HERE!!! PLEASE DO NOT FUCKING DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!

FUCK. CHRIST. HELL. SHIT. THIS GAME IS DRIVING ME FUCKING CRAZY

GOD

oh my god but the day ending with hero and kel sleeping over at omori’s house...im kdnd im jkdim im not uhm okay THEY BUILT A BLANKET FORT PLEASE..I LOVE THEM

goddd hero going into the piano room....playing sum........and then asking omori abt the song he and mari used to play on violin...and then THE TITLE SCREEN MUSIC STARTS PLAYING....HI. HI HELLO HI YOU CANT FUCKIGN DO THAT HI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FUCK YOUFBJFGJNGN;EJNE; IM GOIGN NUTS

also the name omori comes from the piano.............interesting...i wonder why sunny likes being called omori in the dreamscape...

god but omori not having a srs hallucination cause he’s w his friends and he feels safe...im gonna sob

However. i did glance into the bathroom mirror. AND INSTEAD OF THE EYE MF IT’S A DISTORTED AS HELL GHOST MARI???IM SO FUCKIGN SCARED. IM SO SCARED. WHAT THE FUCK. WHAT THE FUCK? CREEPY AS HELL!!!

ohh my god this GAME

so finally i ended up in whitespace again. do NOT like that omori is completely alone in the world!!! what the FUCK!!!!!!!! I AM SO SCARED AT ALL TIMES. im literally about to go play sum more tho after dinner so i will see what happens. god i jsut......this game is so fucking good it has me by the balls dude. SO glad i decided to play it bruh

anyway thanks for reading all of this if u did, it’s an absolute monster ik and ur a real one

[c-ptsdrecovery]

“Did it ever get physical?”

This is often the first question we ask someone we know or suspect is in an unhealthy relationship. While starting a conversation around physical abuse is essential, the issue is when it’s the only question we ask.

Stopping short of inquiring about other forms of abuse implies that physical violence is the defining factor of an unhealthy relationship. Even worse, it conveys the message that whatever else might be going on is just “not that bad.”

This is a huge issue, because emotional abuse can absolutely be that bad.

Even if relationship never gets physically abusive, emotional abuse can escalate over time with devastating consequences, even death. And while emotional abuse does not always lead to physical abuse, physical abuse in relationships is nearly always preceded and accompanied by emotional abuse.[i]

Why don’t we hear more about emotional abuse? In addition to the common misconception that it’s just not that serious, many people simply aren’t sure what emotional abuse actually entails.

My aim here is to help you understand what emotional abuse really means and what makes it so dangerous so that you’re better equipped to start the conversation. Because if you want to stop it, you first have to know what you’re dealing with.

Defining Emotional Abuse

Understanding emotional abuse is complicated for many reasons. One reason is because there are several different names used interchangeably to refer to the same kind of abuse, including emotional abuse/violence, psychological abuse/violence, and mental abuse. For simplicity, we’ll use “emotional abuse” going forward.

Another complication is that there isn’t one accepted definition of emotional abuse. It seems that everyone has a slightly different version.

We’ve identified several common threads that make up the most widely accepted definitions and combined them here to create the following description of emotional abuse:

Emotional abuse is any abusive behavior that isn’t physical, which may include verbal aggression, intimidation, manipulation, and humiliation, which most often unfolds as a pattern of behavior over time that aims to diminish another person’s sense of identity, dignity and self worth, and which often results in anxiety, depression, suicidal thoughts or behaviors, and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

Wow, that’s a lot.

Each part of the definition presents its own complications to fully grasping the reality of emotional abuse, so let’s dissect what this really means, piece by piece.

Breaking Down Emotional Abuse

1.“…any abusive behavior that isn’t physical…”

Pretty broad, right? Emotional abuse is difficult to comprehend because it encompasses so much. Just take a look at the non-exhaustive list[ii] below of behaviors that are potentially emotionally abusive:

Intimidation

Manipulation

Refusal to ever be pleased

Blaming

Shaming

Name-calling

Insults

Put-downs

Sarcasm

Infantilization

Silent treatment

Trivializing

Triangulation

Sabotage

Gaslighting

Scapegoating

Blame-shifting

Projection

Ranking and comparing

Arbitrary and unpredictable inconsistency

Threatening harm

Forced isolation

We specify “potentially” abusive behaviors because some of the behaviors on this list could occur in a healthy context as well. Let’s take sarcasm and infantilizing speech, for example. Many people consider sarcasm a key component of a good sense of humor. Many people would also agree that using infantilizing speech as terms of endearment is harmless, for example referring to a significant other as “baby.” However, in the context of emotional abuse where the intent is malicious, these behaviors can be extremely cutting, especially when disguised as affection or an innocent remark. For example, someone who repeatedly tells his or her significant other “My baby is so smart” in a way that’s meant to mock their partner’s intelligence using sarcasm as well as infantilizing speech to make them feel small is a form of emotional abuse.

2. “ …which may include verbal aggression, intimidation, manipulation, and humiliation”

The key word here is “may.” Not only is the list of emotional abuse tactics incredibly long and dependent on context, the particular combination of behaviors that show up, how they show up—whether overtly or covertly—and with what intensity can also vary greatly from relationship to relationship. As a result, we have another layer of complexity: emotional abuse doesn’t have one specific look.

For example, an emotionally abusive relationship where overt aggressing behaviors like yelling, threatening and blaming are predominantly used will look very different from a relationship where only very subtle forms of abuse like gaslighting, passive-aggressive put-downs, and minimizing are used.

3. “a pattern of behavior over time”

Emotional abuse is rarely a single event. Instead, it occurs over time as a pattern of behavior that’s “sustained” & “repetitive.”[iii] This particular characteristic of emotional abuse helps explain why it’s so complicated and so dangerous.

Even if you’re the most observant person in the world, emotional abuse can be so gradual that you don’t realize what’s happening until you’re deeply entangled in its web. As a result, the abuse can go unchecked as the relationship progresses, building for months, years, even decades, especially if the abuse is more covert. In such instances, the target’s self-esteem is steadily eroded and their self-doubt becomes so paralyzing that they often have only a vague sense that something (though unsure what) is wrong.

4. “aims to diminish another person’s sense of identity, dignity, and self-worth”

Regardless of how emotional abuse unfolds, experts agree that it has devastating effects on those who are subjected to it.[iv]

Unfortunately, these effects as well as each harmful act of abuse are largely invisible. This makes it difficult for most people to comprehend the very real risks and damage of emotional abuse.

Let’s demonstrate why. For a moment, try to imagine a scene of physical violence, a fight. Even if you’ve never witnessed or experienced it firsthand, your imagination can probably fill in the picture pretty well. The struggle. The adrenaline and fear. The aftermath of blood, bruises, tears. It’s a painful portrait but likely one that you can envision.

Now, try to picture a scene of emotional abuse, specifically someone whose self-identity has been annihilated. Can you see it?

Chances are your mind doesn’t know where to begin. But if you are able to create a picture of either the acts of abuse or what the damage looks like on the person who experienced it, can you put that image into words?

While describing physical wounds is pretty straightforward, it’s much harder to articulate emotional trauma. The parts of a person that sustained emotional abuse destroys—identity, dignity, and self-worth—are abstract, almost impossible to picture or measure.

5. “results in anxiety, depression, suicidal thoughts or behaviors, and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)”

Because emotional abuse is essentially invisible, singling out the abuse as the culprit of its destructive effects is another kind of challenge and frustration.

Even in cases of extreme emotional abuse, there are no bruises or gashes where the victim can point and say, “This cracked rib is from that constant belittling and invalidation” and “That swollen eye and broken lip are from the incessant name-calling and guilt-tripping and pathological lying.” Instead, what emotional abuse ends up looking like is a person suffering from painful yet not uncommon afflictions like anxiety or depression.

It can therefore be heartbreakingly easy for anyone—whether the person inflicting the emotional abuse, a third-party observer, or even the target of the abuse—to misattribute its damage to some other cause like unemployment or family stress or even blame the target’s prior mental state if he or she battled similar issues in the past.

Closing Thoughts

Hopefully this explanation of emotional abuse is as comprehensive as possible, but I recognize that it’s still bound to have gaps due to the complications I’ve just mentioned. Think of it more as a springboard for future conversations and exploration than an all-encompassing definition.

Emotional abuse, like any other form of cruelty, thrives in the darkness when no one understands, discusses, or recognizes it. Use your newfound knowledge and curiosity to shine the light on the risks and devastation of emotional abuse.

A great place to start is with asking the question, “How does that behavior or action make you feel?” or “Did it ever get emotionally abusive?”

[mousehole5000]

tgcf lb the third chapter 14 - 21

okay hit me with the lore

Xie Lian hadn’t spoken his next words before the teenager said, “He dug it out himself.” Startled, Xie Lian asked, “Why?” The teen replied, “He went mad.” -digging out your own eye okay worm

If there were demons in this world who would scam or entice the hearts of people, then there would also be humans who would fool demons. There would exist much ongoing exploitation and betrayal. He said, “If it was handed over in infatuation, yet only results in broken bones and scattered ashes, it would indeed render one’s heart to feel aggrieved.” okay also kind of dope i love it when humans and demons get some back and forth. also this feels like it could be foreshadowing

awwww xie lian giving away his only steamed bun what a sweetheart

everyone keeps telling me this book is also a tragedy but now im just laughing at the visual of headless ghosts carrying their heads around and bickering

chronic bad luck and chronic good luck meet... what will happen to our heroes...

Xie Lian raised his head, softly saying, “You are tenacious, extremely dedicated, and despite many bitter encounters with frustrations and dashed hopes, you’ve stayed true to your heart. More often than not, your misfortunes will turn into blessings, calamity to prosperity. You will continue to have good fortune, my friend, your future is radiant and will blossom spectacularly.” All the things he said were made up on the spot, so they were complete nonsense. - fhklasjksldfdfh i know this is a ploy but still this was funny. also why didnt xie lian try to pick up palm reading from another source when he fell? are they just not as good? is he pretentious like that? either way i hope we find out more about what he got up to during those 800 years

Xie Lian felt rather skeptical on how he only ate half a bun for the duration of the entire day. If young people took advantage on their good health like this, sooner or later they would surely end up passed out on the streets. - xie lian is directly calling me out for my quarantine eating habits im sorry king ill do better

Previously, it had always been Xie Lian telling other people ‘it’s alright, it’s okay’. Today was the first time he heard those words spoken back to him, leaving him with an indescribable feeling. - awww okay this got me

oh my god there was only one bed

again comedy of the year. “oh you’re putting up a curtain that repels evil thats so interesting. on an entirely unrelated note im going to make you a door”

Brushing past him, San Lang pulled out the bamboo chopstick. He swayed it twice in front of him before saying, “It got dirty. I’ll throw it out later.” - edgy bastard moments begin

Xie Lian could hear the deliberation win Ling Wen’s tone. One thing he could be sure of was that she must be in a difficult situation. He said, “Okay, I understand. Since this is inconvenient for you, then there’s no need for you to say more. In addition, the two of us never had this conversation in private.” - awwwww considerate crown prince xie lian

“What, do you guys know him?” Xie Lian said. “……” Fu Yao coldly replied, “No we don’t.” - all men do is lie. also love the petty little broom dispute. i know its actually quite intentional and that only makes it funnier. also guys stop wrecking xie lian’s home he just got it fixed up!! if anyone breaks the new door ill be highly disappointed in them

Xie Lian nodded his head. “That’s right. I wrote it. If you guys continued fighting in there, I would be pleading for reconstruction instead of renovation. Then, I would really have no dignity left.” - see xie lian said if youre not going to contribute to it then please dont fight in my monastery its been through enough

Earlier, when Fu Yao had entered, he hadn’t gotten to examine the interior furnishings. Now, after standing in this crooked, shabby house for quite a while, he was able to see it all. As if his entire body, from head to toe, was uncomfortable, he asked, “You live in a place like this?” Xie Lian handed him a chair and said, “I’ve always lived in these kinds of places.” - ive seen this quote before and it really is just that “damn bitch you live this like?” meme. amazing

Fu Yao did not sit, his expression also turning rigid for a second. It was hard to tell what the look on his face was. It seemed nine parts blank shock and one part schadenfreude. - THIS IS MY NEW FAVORITE EXPRESSION I WOULD LOVE TO SEE IT

In the desert, the difference in temperature between night and day was drastic. During the night, the freezing temperature was cold enough to seep into one’s bones, yet it was still tolerable. But come daytime, it was a whole other experience. The sky here was incredibly clear and expansive with dashes of white clouds, but likewise, the blazing sun was just as fierce. The group continued to walk, but the more they walked, the more it felt as though they were going into an enormous steamer basket. The hot air emitted from deep within the earth felt as though a day’s worth of walking could steam a person alive. - YES DESERTS YES

okay xie lian is so kind and so generous? he keeps giving stuff away when he has almost nothing and making sure that others are taken care of first..... love him

Xie Lian watched them put on airs. But when such airs were discarded, they finally got physical. Separated by the space of the table, the three of them fought with the poor water bottle, pushing it back and forth. - if these three really are who i think they are this is even funnier. the very clear toying thats going on is truly delightful

Even before, Xie Lian had always thought that although this teenager was always smiling, his smile often made it hard for people to distinguish whether it was actually genuine, or whether it was mockery in the guise of compliments. However, this time, anyone would be able to tell that there wasn’t even half an ounce of goodwill in his smile. - yeah that about sums it up. not even half an ounce of goodwill damn that sure the hell is not a lot of goodwill

He had Ruoye go grab onto something sturdy and stable, but Ruoye ended up grabbing onto San Lang! - awwww thats kind of cute. also the mental image... im going to make this its own post too but

im waiting for xie lian to cough up all that sand hes eating and say something funny when we’re back on the ground. i hope we get more very literal decisions from ruoye

It should be noted that there was a common saying within the mortal realm—a powerful dragon cannot crush a snake in its old haunts. - oh i like this and the translators note This is an old Chinese adage that basically means, ‘even a powerful man cannot crush a local bully.’

“General.” Nan Feng and Fu Yao both spoke at the same time, “What?” - CONFIRMED I CALLED IT tbh it was kind of obvious now ig now im just waiting. also again hysterical. if youre gonna hide your identities boys fucking lkafjfjlkdaf; try harder to remember that youre hiding

To be demoted again and again, to the point one couldn’t be demoted any further…… this kind of experience honestly felt too familiar. Xie Lian felt two gazes collectively fall on his body, but he pretended not to notice and continued reading the text on the stone slate. - this is a funny little set up for what seems to be a parallel between xie lian and this central plains general. he tripped on his own bootlace??? this HAS to be xie lian parallel what does it mean. oooh the common people on both sides of the conflict were the ones who commemorated him? interesting..

San Lang faintly smiled before he whispered, “No, I made that up. Since they had laughed at him before, making them kowtow to him now wouldn’t be asking too much, right?” Xie Lian looked and saw that it was really true. There was already no more text left to translate on the stone slate. He had originally wanted to sigh, but now he just found it funny. Thus, he also whispered, “Why are you so cheeky?” San Lang stuck out his tongue. The two of them were laughing when suddenly, someone screamed, “What is this!!!???” - okay they are funny and i respect the deception. also oooh scorpion tailed snake. oooh a horde of them. a classic cave blunder

“Yeah! The results are relatively the same as worshipping that rubbish immortal! The more you worship, the unluckier you become! “ “……” For an arrow to hit the bullseye despite being in a place so distant and unrelated, Xie Lian was left with no words. - oh my god xie lian are you wearing a spiritual “kick me” sign because it really feels like you are

HE GOT STUNG XIE LIAN NO

[internetremix]

This is for everyone what is your favorite anime mine is Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood which was my first anime.

Phill: Boku no pico. Look it up.

Kristen: Pfffft you monster

Atwas: I don't watch a lot of anime cause I can consume more through reading rather than watching... I really enjoyed One Punch Man and Little Witch Academia though. I think those are the only two I've actually watched in recent memory (mostly because they weren't huge time investments...) I've been meaning to watch Mob Psycho 100 but I haven't gotten to it yet.

Jojo: Either soul eater, or assassination classroom. (I also love FMA)

Kristen: I love One Punch Man. I've heard Mob Psycho 100 is good but like, The Stars Are Never in Position.

I have two favorite animus of all time, Madoka and the Monogatari series. Both are Shaft animu so ART. Madoka's writing is just so well done and it has THEMES and I love the characters and listen I love Homura and Madoka so much I have like the fancy figurines like a huge nerd I JUST THINK THEY'RE SO COOL and also the gay and shut up.

I talk a lot about the Monogatari series because it really means a lot to me. It's some of the most thoughtful media I've ever watched, some of the best character studies I've ever seen. The writing and visual presentation are so good and there's a lot of themes about mental health and personal growth and i could write a book and multiple scholarly essays about my thoughts and feelings on Monogatari. I based MG's design off of one of the characters cause I just love her so much and the character is very much a wish fulfillment thing for me.Monogatari also features some of the worst fanservice bits I've ever seen. Just abysmal. This is the anime with the infamous Toothbrushing Scene and I fucking hate it. Like. It's frustrating because in some ways I can see how these fanservice scenes have bits of character to them? And most of  the series is from the perspective of a teenage boy and so much of the show is essentially about different perspectives and how people see the world. But those scenes aren't about the justification and you know it, the camera tells me regardless of how platonic the characters may be (or sexually charged depending on the characters), this is meant to be tittilating for me the viewer, and if it isn't then don't you worry there's another girl in the harem for you, you fucking creep. And I just despise that.

So yeah Monogatari has both the greatest Animu writing and is A R T but also has the worst goddamn fanservice and thus I cannot recommend it to anyone who has a problem with the latter. Which is incredibly frustrating. Anyway thanks for coming to my TED talk.

Also side not Soul Eater is SO GOOD mmmm that style. Also Maka is just... the fucking best. She's so cool.

Juno: Lupin III

Alex: Gregory Horror Show and Aggretsuko

Split: Fma:b Cant get enough of that sweet ass alchemy

Juno: dog girl joke

Split: Juno its science its fine

Juno: Something something unbreakable bond between girl and dog something something

Split: Absolutely, super unbreakable now. Practically inseperable.

Kristen: Oh no. Outrage. How could you.

Split: For science.

Alex: I love how Dog Girl is slowly becoming like Loss in that only the barest components are necessary to get the reference

Juno: me: nina alexander

everyone: D

me: doge.... gril

everyone: D

Phill: I'm a big fan of most mainstream anime (one punch man, mob psycho 100, monster girls, naruto, dragonball (og, z, gt, super), etc) . Especially one piece. I've been a fan of one piece since 2005. Every new episode/chapter/movie I watch the instant I am able.

As for not so mainstream;Golden boy, golden time, full metal panic, working!!, ouran high school host club, bacono, I'd be here for every trying to remember the rest tbh

Oh! And a myriad of hentai.

Tex: My first anime was Death Note, but my favourite is Gurren LagannCan't get enough of that stupid anime mecha bs. Oh shit i keep forgetting to mention psycho-pass but i fuckin love that anime too. The 2nd series was just ok. But the FIRST. HOO BOY.

Scott: Favorite anime is Death Parade. I typically enjoy more comical and lighthearted shows, but this one is one of the very few exceptions. It tells a really fascinating story with themes of life and death, the concept of morality, and human emotions. I highly recommend it.

In total contrast, my second favorite would be Assassination Classroom.

Tex: ass class

Toonwolf: oh god anime is one of those things where I get really weird and even if I like the thing I'll watch like 2-3 episodes and then never continue it. Ass Class is absolutely one of those and I loved what I saw and just never continued and would probably be one of my favs. As for anime I've actually committed time to, Gurren Lagann is definitely top tier A+ love it and I'll always have a special place in my heart for One Piece. When I wanna feel depressed, my fav is Wolf's Rain

Uprising: I second death parade also cells at work. wait also the castlevania anime on netflix ive bene marathoning that

Phill: Good

[thedeadflag]

Hey, pretty soon I'll be playing a friend of mine is gonna be DMing Tyranny Of Dragons for me and a couple of friends, and I can't decide whether I should play a Monk (probably Open Hand, maybe Kensei) or a Ranger (either Beastmaster or Horizon Walker), 'cause I've never played either of those classes, nor has anyone at the tables I've played. Can you tell me a little about your experiences with these classes?

The Ranger has been one of my favourite classes throughout the editions of D&D in terms of flavour, and I’ve had some fun with monks as well. In 5th edition, both took a fair bit of a hit in utility (individual and within group dynamics) and power at pretty much all ranges. The Ranger was propped back up a little bit in Unearthed Arcana in the revised ranger archetype, but both are still largely considered at best middle of the road classes, and at worst, the lowest tier of classes in the game in utility and character. 

That’s not to say they can’t be fun and have a lot of flavour, and still find use. If you’ve watched Critical Role, you can see Vex and Beau weren’t useless by any stretch. No class is junk in 5e due to the improved parity compared to some past editions. So power and utility aside, if you feel drawn to any class/subclass, and you want to dive into its particular brand of flavour, then I say go for it. I would gauge the rest of the party’s makeup in making your decision, because group synergy is important, but you have to make yourself happy, too, right?

Anywho, I’ll break down my take on both.

When it comes to Monks, I like Open Hand the best. If you want to have a Monk-style gameplay with weapons, then Mystic or Fighter are probably better options with some more flair and utility involved than Kensei imo, but if that’s the route you want to take, it’d be alright. However, Open Hand has quivering palm, which is pretty incredible late game as far as damage and flexible timing from a single person through 3 ki pts and an action. If you do ever reach level 17, I would recommend multiclassing after that if you’re allowed, since the rest of the Monk’s class progression is kind of junk in comparison, and it could use some much needed utility from 3 levels of another class. Anywho, I like open hand not just for the flavor of being a class that’s capable of being an unarmed beast in battle, but also because of the way it can work in alignment with fighters who can also control the battlefield, like any fighter with a sentinel/polearm master. The ability to shove an enemy up to 15ft with one of your flurry attacks, launching them into the range of a fighter who gets a free opp attack against them and can from then on lock down their movement with a successful hit? That can be an excellent tag team. The Monk isn’t excellent for utility, but the Open Hand technique is probably the best at providing utility in combat among all the monk disciplines. Like, another option after hitting with flurry of blows is to steal all reactions for the opponent until the end of your next turn. This can be especially helpful against casters, as stealing reactions = preventing counterspells. And Monks can get a lot of attacks = lots of attempts to disrupt concentration of enemy casters, so the open hand monk is especially helpful at being a designated mage wrecker with having the mobility to reach casters and the ability to destabilize them. It’s arguably the one thing (aside from unarmed damage) that (this one kind of) monks do better than just about anyone else, arguably.

Now, to Rangers.

Honestly, I don’t like beast-focused Rangers. I think they’re a lot of work in order to get the mechanical payoff most other classes can achieve without a lot of thought or effort. Generally, any class that can let me focus more on flavour and RP is one I’m going to prefer, and beast master’s just…unwieldy. A lot of people say the class is junk, and if you run it without getting into the headspace for optimizing, it’s probably going to be more of a frustrating experience than you’d have hoped for. With BMs, you’re managing not just your character, but your companion, and you have to keep up with the different mechanics of both, you need to be 100% on top of choices made while leveling up, you need to have a strong understanding of battlefield control and your companion’s capabilities from the get go, and you really ought to be the kind of player who is happy to take a backseat to everyone else in and out of combat because the way you’ll shine is by helping everyone else do what they do with a little bit higher odds of success than otherwise. Personally, I like playing that sort of character, but I can do all of that with other classes a lot easier, and usually better, so this isn’t the kind of archetype I’d choose for a character myself. If you really want to, and think it’s cool, go for it, though.

The first thing I’d do is ask if you can use the UA revised ranger instead of the PHB ranger if you’re going the beast route (it’s “beast conclave” archetype in UA). If your DM allows that and insists you choose your companion from the list provided here, take the wolf (pack tactics is v helpful, same with 40ft speed and being able to send enemies prone after attacking) or ape (climb 30ft, melee/ranged ability, good stat baselines). 

The second thing you’ll need is to lock down a quality companion, and that can take a bit of wheeling and dealing with your DM to let you use one of the supplementary books as a source, which is especially necessary if you’re not able to use the revised ranger class from UA. You do not want a hawk, mastiff, or panther, the PHB offers some shit examples out of the gate (panther and hawk are only conditionally good if you’re only ever going to have your companion rushing around the map using the ‘help’ action, or scouting to some extent, and the latter becomes less useful and reliable the higher level you become). Don’t choose a CR 0 companion, or one under ¼. If you absolutely must use a hawk for character flavor, then a blood hawk that at least has pack tactics would be a must. But if you are hoping for a companion that can do damage, look for something with certain damage if it hits, like added poison damage. Look for good AC if you want a tank. Look for versatility in mobility and senses. Look for special abilities (the boar having a relentless ability where it’ll go back to 1HP if it falls below 0; the wolf spider has web walk and web sense which can really help with casters using web if players don’t want to wade into the difficult terrain or are having difficulty finding enemies caught in the web; etc.)

But yeah, beast-focused rangers  will be best when they’re spamming the help action with their beasts, using their beasts to get enemies out of cover, using their beasts to help control the field and give others advantage/take advantage, etc. You need to be quick mentally to know what you want to do with your character and your companion each time your turn comes around (most DMs, myself included, aren’t going to let you have as much time as you need to figure out what you want to do on both fronts, so if you can’t juggle two characters at once without losing a step, it might not be the archetype for you). This type of ranger requires you to know exactly what you want to be able to accomplish for yourself and your party right out of the gate, so you’ll want to gauge what your party members will be specializing in, what they want to be able to do, and see if there’s a way to shape your ranger to aid in that, particularly in choosing a beast that can be the most effective in ensuring that. Group cohesion is the name of the game with this form of ranger, so you’ll want to consider race selection a part of this process, too. I’ve had one player bomb hard as a BM and re-roll a different ranger, and I’ve had a friend who ran one who was the group’s unsung hero a lot of the time during their campaign. If you’re looking at Vex from CR as inspiration, keep in mind she had an excellent set of stats from lvl 9 onwards, and plenty of magical weapons to make up for much of any class shortcomings as characters scale up…look at how often Trinket was useful (very rarely) and understand that the bear was essentially just flavour for most of the campaign, and Vex would have been considerable underpowered compared to the rest of the party if not for some considerable DM intervention in ways that make things a lot trickier for DMs (adding magical weapons/items can easily unbalance a campaign, and it’s a matter of experience in knowing how to dole them out without throwing balance aside…Matt Mercer’s comfortable handing out flying carpets and multiple +2AC items  and superpowered magical weapons by level 9, I wouldn’t give them out before level 14 or 15 and it would really only be if a player was severely struggling and refused to re-roll a more appropriate character while dying or nearly dying most combats). Other classes and archetypes have features and abilities that scale as you level, some earn specific spells as they level up that others can’t get, etc., but with beast conclave rangers, it’s their beast that slightly improves in a few meaningful ways. So if you’re going that route, you need to commit to a great beasts that’s a great fit for you and your party, and you need to commit to making the absolute most out of them and knowing how to make the most out of them.

Horizon Walker’s a simpler archetype that has some badass spells, but the flavour for the class can be a bit…strange in some adventures. It might not fit well with Tyranny of Dragons, I’m not sure how much planar travel’s involved in that adventure. Which might not be a problem for the DM, or you. I still prefer the UA ranger conclaves, but out of the PHB ones, this one’s probably the best of the bunch, even if it’s mostly going to lean towards being a melee build (which, again, check your party comp to see if that’s something that is workable). 

Anywho, those are my late night D&D ramblings. You can take my words with a grain of salt if you’d like, and as always the rule of cool applies…if you think it’s cool and you really want to go with something, go for it and I hope the DM will find a way to help you make it work, but yeah, these classes can be a bit of an uphill battle, though I suppose potentially a rewarding challenge if that’s what you’re looking for.

Best of luck with the campaign, I’m sure you’ll have fun! 

[crystalelemental]

It’s been a while, but I think I’ve finally decided roughly where Gen 7 is going to fall for me in terms of the general Pokemon Game Rankings.  There’s still a chance for Ultra Sun/Moon or hypothetical remakes to chance this, but I’m gonna put it below Gen 5 and 4, but above Gen 2, leading to:

Gen 5 Gen 4 Gen 7 Gen 2 Gen 3 Gen 1 Gen 6

Explanations for Gen 7′s ranking below.

I’ll start positive.  Gen 7′s introduction of the Ultra Beasts is probably my favorite thing the series has ever done.  These weird alien horrors are fantastic, and I love them so very much.  Especially Nihilego, obviously, but they are all fantastic and I wish them the best.

The story and characters are also quite strong.  Story especially.  The emphasis on Lillie’s family was divine, and allowed for some great development for Lillie, Gladion, and to some extent Lusamine through the unraveling of her backstory.  I’m still a little salty about Mohn actually being alive and rendering a lot of this almost trivial, but oh well.

I’m a big fan of the island setup.  I think the different regions within the islands are cool, and the concept of their respective guardians and the different challenges in the games makes it fairly distinct from other entries.

Alolan Variants, while also going to be listed as a negative aspect later, are a cool idea.  I kinda like the concept of offering variants based on region, and the fandom has been offering those kinds of variations for ages now, so it’s cool to see a few show up in-game.

Changes to general Pokemon in the form of updates to moves or increases in base stats were also divine.  The changes this time were actually significant, with some Pokemon gaining like a cumulative total of 40 base points.  Compared to last gen’s pathetic attempt at altering stat totals by offering a mere 10 points, this actually felt significant, and it’s nice to know they’re trying some things to improve the status of certain Pokemon.  Also let’s not forget that EXP Share with the Gen 5 experience gain mechanics are a brilliant solution to the Gen 6 problem of over-leveling. 

Lastly, some of the mechanics changes were solid.  Most notably, no more HMs.  It’s all done through calling different Pokemon to serve as the HMs.  This is quite possibly the best mechanical change in the entire series, rivaled only by the changes to moves like Wrap and Rage from Gen 1 to Gen 2.

As for the negative aspects, let’s start with the most personal gripe: the Pokemon.  While there are some excellent stand-outs, I feel comfortable saying that this generation had the most disappointing batch for me thus far.  In some cases, it’s the stat allocations.  Pokemon like Tsareena and Lurantis should’ve been incredible, and the allocations of their stats pretty much damns them to removal from standard use.  For others, it’s a movepool that’s lacking needed tools, that better be fixed when move tutors arrive.  For some, like my dead Pikipek, it’s an evolution line that is neither required nor welcome.  I would’ve preferred to just keep a basic woodpecker.  I love woodpeckers.  But now the only woodpecker in the game, which is cute and has a great ability, evolves into some angry toucan thing whose speed tier is way too low to make any sort of use of Skill Link.  Even Pokemon that turned out well, like Tapu Lele, have been incredibly disappointing to me, just based on stat allocation and movepool.  Lele’s description talks about out-lasting opponents with status and the energy in its shell, yet it has no means of natural recovery and only the most basic of status options.  It’s a super strong offensive unit, but that’s not what was advertised, and frankly, not what I wanted.

Speaking of not what I wanted, Alolan Variants.  I feel like these were a neat idea, but kind of damning.  The Alolan Variant is either way better than the default version, and thus gives the player no reason to ever use the default version, or isn’t any better or even worse and thus served no purpose.  It’s the curse of competitive, I suppose; one of the two was definitely going to be worse than the other.  But it’s frustrating to know how few Alolan Variants actually...did anything for the Pokemon?  Not like megas did.  Speaking of...

The biggest negative of all: Z-moves.  I don’t like them.  They’re interesting, and I’ll pull this criticism back the instant we get back to having real game-changers like mega evolution.  A universal buff changes nothing for anyone.  Your bullshit mentality of “We wanted something to help all Pokemon!” fell flat on its ass because all you did was give Garchomp and Lando-T more tools to use.  Nothing changes.  Nothing is beneficial from this.  Just go back to making megas before you make a Gen 4 remake we’re all going to regret.

Also what do you mean Super Training only works with level 100s?  The solution to over-leveling was brilliant, but now you make it a massive pain in the ass to grind up to 100, then lock the IV improvements behind that progression wall?  Pokemon, when are you going to get rid of this arbitrary shit?  Just let people obtain items for dramatically fewer BP, re-introduce Super Training to make EVs easier, and remove the level requirement for IVs since it’s hard enough to just get bottlecaps.  Just make it easier to construct competitive teams in general.  There’s a reason so many people cheat in Pokemon, and it’s because we don’t have time for this shit.

Related: why are so many of the new Pokemon so hard to get?  So many exist only as like 1% or 5% encounter rates, while the common stuff is all from previous generations.  It makes it really hard to build a team of all new stuff when your Pokedex is small, and half the new things are absurdly rare, you know.

On a less competitive, more game-oriented note, I’d like to offer linearity as the first complaint.  You have all these islands that have massive, interconnected routes...and come up with the most asinine reasons we can’t just explore.  “Sorry, my Stoutland is sniffing for treasure and is REALLY INSISTENT that it finish before anyone crosses.”  Fuck off.  Let me go that way.  Honestly, we have a solution.  Pokemon Origins offered it; just let the trial captains get stronger depending on how many of them you’ve beaten.  If you do Water first, it’s the lowest level; if you do Water last, it’s the highest.  There was such great potential here for a more open experience and they wasted all of it by constantly railroading you along a specific path.  I might be more willing to go with it if the world were more of a straight line like in Unova, where there aren’t many opportunities to deviate from “go forward,” but the way islands are designed, it becomes super transparent how hard they’re forcing you to stay in line.

Another is trials, and how they impact the captains.  While an interesting concept, I feel that gym leaders are more effective as characters.  Trial captains are largely irrelevant for their trials, and you never get a sense for how they are in battle or what their tactics are.  You can battle them, but odds are you didn’t, because the conditions to battle them are so obscure.  I only ever battled Lana, and it was post-League.  Her team was all level 30.  That’s unacceptable.  If I get to battle them, at least have it be a situation where they’re a challenge.  I don’t dislike the concept of the trials, and think they’re definitely neat.  But I also feel like substantial battles with the captains should happen at some point as well.  Worse, because it’s only one real Pokemon in the form of the Totem, it’s hard to really...appreciate them when you have any form of type advantage.  Plenty of them are easily removed in one turn with a strong enough super-effective attack.  While the set-up for trials can be interesting, they’re only interesting if you get to see them.

Which brings me to the last one...the League.  Trials are interesting.  They’re a way to introduce a puzzle of some kind before a major battle against a single, super-strong Totem Pokemon.  I don’t dislike the idea.  I feel that Gym Leaders are more engaging characters most of the time, but it’s a fun variation for a region that’s meant to be distinct.  But then you learn about the League.  And the League opens up.  And suddenly you realize...oh god.  There were seven trials, with Mina being an eighth who just doesn’t do her job.  The same number of trials as there would be gyms.  And oh god, the grand trial was basically just this anyway.  And suddenly the cool variation crumbles apart as you realize nothing was all that distinct after all, they just gave up trying to hide it at the very end and just made a Pokemon League.  I honestly think that, if it had just stayed as the Grand Trial, I would’ve been happier.  But this breaks that illusion so hard.  I don’t like.

Oh, and they should’ve let me fight Mother Beast.  Cowards.

[comradeocean]

Rogue One fic recs

Mostly Cassian/Jyn (rebelcaptain) with a few about K-2SO and ok also some meta links and this cool fanvid and a mixtape I made, or, No It’s Perfectly Alright My Life Has Been Overrun By Rogue One Not Like I Needed It For Anything Else (I do. It’s not alright. It’s really. really. not. alright.)

Organized by: K-2SO \\ Canon Compliant \\ AU - Scarif and Immediate Aftermath \\ AU - timeskip \\ AU - not even a little bit EU \\ AU - other (no Rogue One timeline, multiverse, etc) \\ Misc

- I’ve mostly avoided to non-canon AUs and WIPs but I’m sure that’ll change as I sink deeper into this mess - for the not-everyone-lives AUs, the surviving characters are denoted in brackets. (e.g. [BR, CA, JE]) if there are no brackets that either means the fic has everyone on the initial Rogue One team (BR, CA, JE, CI, BM, K) survive Scarif or that no casualties are mentioned - About 50 links in and I’m less than 3/4 through the tabs I have saved ooooops. I’ll continue to update as the spiraling continues.

===== K-2SO ===== title: Unseen by: TheCookieMonster77 rating: teen word count: 400 summary: Kaytoo had known this droid. notes: I found that droid extraction scene on Scarif very striking, like there was something horrifying and tragic going on. I'm glad someone wrote a little fic about it.

title: climb, climb by: peradi rating: not rated word count: 1039 summary: K-2SO: the droid with existential anxiety and a smart mouth. notes: "Additional Tags: Sad Robots" saaaaaad I am le sad

title: firefly by: peradi rating: not rated word count: 4483 summary: Humanity is infectious, Finn makes friends with droids, and K2 cannot get any rest: the story of how Rogue One flies again. notes: "additional tags: droids having feelings, musings about what droids are, the force has a plan and the force is a dick, chirrut imwe is always right, k2 can't catch a break, legacy, Crack Treated Seriously, the fic where k2 is reincarnated as the falcon" I laughed. I almost cried, several times. ALL the droids are so incredibly well written - K-2SO, BB-8, R2, the brief mentions of C3PO. the humans are ok too, I guess. [I kid, but Finn and Poe are legit amazing in this as well]

title: A Cog In Something Turning by: Redrikki rating: gen word count: 1742 summary: Cassian hadn't meant to give K-2SO free will. Good thing for both of them he's a terrible slicer. notes: my favourite Cassian-and-K-2SO fic

title: The Ghosts in the Machines by: squireofgeekdom rating: gen word count: 1985 summary: How K2SO's many ghosts aided the Rebellion and stymied the Imperials, and how one of those ghosts carried the memories of Rogue One past the end of the Empire. notes: love love love the concept and the execution

title: RUN SIMULATION: SCENARIO ABB-10AU by: sarahlucielle rating: teen word count: 1125 summary: K-2SO mentally simulates what might have been.

title: The Genre Does Not Support This by: nymja rating: teen word count: 990 summary: “I have decided to be proactive,” the droid responded primly. “Proactive? For what?” Jyn leaned forward in her chair. “Sexual tension will increase mission failure by approximately 12.95%.” K-2SO suspects something is going on between Cassian and Jyn. notes: they are so oblivious and bad at feelings[1]! K2 is so extremely put upon!!!! EVERTHING IS WONDERFUL AND NOTHING HURTS [1] Jyn had seen her share of strange things. An Imperial droid in a mood swing was now one of them. “…Right. Well.” She looked back down at her blaster, because that was at least a familiar terrain on which to solve a problem. “Let me know if I can help.” PERF JYN CHARACTERIZATION

title: not titled by: radiojamming rating: not rated word count: short summary: Jyn trying to get information out of K-2SO about what kind of things that Cassian likes. notes: Jyn! flailing! K-2SO! unhelpful in the extreme! a heartwarming ending!

===== Canon Compliant ===== title: on the white shores of scarif by: jynorgana rating: gen word count: 2648 summary: In case you were wondering, this is what Jyn Erso thinks about love. notes: love and Jyn and Saw Gerrera and Cassian. I wanted so much more of that fraught difficult relationship Jyn has with Saw Gerrera, with growing up with him. This is exactly what I wanted.

title: a hundred flags flying in a field by: ginnyweasleys rating: teen word count: 2850 summary: So much of him is all jagged edges and war-hardened heart. She hadn’t thought there was much room for softness.(five times jyn and cassian touch.) notes: I love how steady and careful Cassian is, esp in contrast to Jyn

title: Touching Freedom by: endeni rating: mature word count: 1795 summary: The things Cassian has done for the Cause. notes: “They don't own me,” she repeats, slowly this time. “What they do with my body, it doesn't matter. They think they can take what they want, do what they want, to us, to the whole galaxy. But they’re wrong, Cassian, okay? They’re wrong.” and later Like he never expected Cassian to last as long as he did in the first place, like he’d been waiting for those words to come out of his mouth for years now and he’s almost surprised he’s finally hearing them. people being conscious of having a body and trying to extract something from that consciousness is something I am drawn to

title: ghost stories by: ZeGabz rating: gen word count: 2085 summary: Rey's daydreams speak to her sometimes.The voices echo Rebellions. notes: Jyn is a force ghost only seen by Rey

title: hope lives on by: peradi rating: not rated word count: 7298 summary: Bodhi dies. This is what happens afterwards. Or: Bodhi becomes the patron saint of the Resistance. notes: very much a story of how Bodhi is a patron saint in the storyworld of The Force Awakens (with the mythology of the prequels and Rogue One intact). funny. slightly didactic, but in a way I found pleasing.

title: star-crossed by: poseidon rating: not rated word count: 2256 summary: They're not going to survive. They were never going to survive. notes: I like the K-2SO section

title: not titled by: reystars rating: not rated word count: short summary: headcanon segued into fic about that blaster Jyn stole from Cassian

title: not titled by: radiojamming rating: not rated word count: short summary: Jyn, inner thoughts: "He's staring at me again, why is he staring at me again - can't he stop judging me for a minute, GEEZ." Cassian, inner thoughts: "She's got space gravy on her bottom lip and I don't know if I want to tell her or if I want to lick it off." notes: a farce! the POV switch turns this into a veritable farce!

title: Sinner's Worth by: guineapiggie rating: teen word count: 1147 summary: For a while, they just sit there, pointedly staring at the wall opposite, but then her curiosity gets the better of her. “Why risk your life to get me out of there? I’d played my part. You lot should see the bigger picture, right?” At first, she thinks he’s just decided to ignore her, then he sighs softly and says: “The truth?” She doesn’t think his question warrants an answer. This man turns out to be a very unpredictable bundle of contradictions, and he’s far too honest for a spy. notes: post-Jedha

title: There For You by: guineapiggie rating: gen word count: 1954 summary: “That’s good,” she mutters, motioning towards her bowl with her spoon. His eyes dart up and then there’s a small smile twitching around his lips. It isn’t much, but it makes her wonder what he looks like with an actual smile on his face, and she imagines it looks quite nice. She hates herself a little for that thought." They reach Yavin IV and Jyn has every intention to lock herself in the room they've given her and not come out ever again. However, someone strongly disagrees with that plan. notes: post-Eadu OH MY GOD the yearning the unfulfilled! yearning!

title: rise/set by: nymja rating: teen word count: 452 summary: Her fingers slide over the mug. They’re both wearing gloves, but for a moment there’s something to the heat of the metal that she wonders about. notes: Jyn and Cassian and the sun during Rogue One. wistful in the best way.

title: Finding Myself (And Maybe You) series [WIP] by: copper_nails rating: mature, explicit word count: 16357 summary: "The barracks on Yavin Four aren’t meant to double as guest quarters." Or: Jyn's first night with the Alliance is a...cozy one. then: Cassian takes on a bunk guest and finds the entire experience...confusing. and: “I am not programmed to believe in miracles,” K-2SO informs her as they take the final steps towards the door, “but the fact that you did not kill the captain in his sleep registers as close to an impossibility as is processable. I do not anticipate such an outlier occurring again.” The effort it takes Jyn not to roll her eyes is almost unbearable. “We’ll see, K-2,” she says, stepping out into the light of day. “We’ll see.” notes: drunk bed-sharing, mutual distrust, sexual frustration. all that good stuff.

title: i imagine life so much it feels like a memory by: alsoalsowik rating: mature word count: 792 summary: In their final moments, Cassian sees an entire lifetime he won’t get to have in Jyn’s eyes. notes: I have such a weakness for these momentary could-have-been lives imagined by one or both of them on the beach.

title: What Might Have Been  by: AgentVeronica rating: teen word count: 2101 summary: With each soul, a world dies. notes: there is so much I love about this fic - the way the tenses and POV make it seem like instances of documentation, the way the imagined future spreads out

title: you were my new home by: katsumi rating: teen word count: 4690 summary:  She surprises herself with the force of the want in her. She’s only known him a few weeks—and he’s gruff, and secretive, and single-minded to a dangerous degree—but he’s the first person in a long time she’s had any real ties to. And yes, his loyalty is not to her so much as it is to the cause she’s now a part of. But for now, he’s just a little bit hers in a way that no one else has been for a very, very long time. Before they can meet with Saw Gerrera, they have to find Saw Gerrera, and that takes time. On the search, Jyn and Cassian grow closer. notes: lengthy missing moments fic of all our dreams

===== AU - Scarif & immediate aftermath ===== title: Beinahe [BR, CA, JE] by: guineapiggie rating: teen word count: 7071 summary: People around them assume they must have had an affair before, and she can't blame them. She's holding his hand, sleeping in his bed, and if she wasn't lauded a hero of the Rebellion, they would never let her do that. But they are, so instead they spin stories of the two of them. She couldn't care less. What she cares about, once he gets better, is what becomes of two people who were almost strangers and who held each other as death came for them, and then woke up to find they weren't dead. She doesn't know what that means, except that she wants to kiss him more than ever, because he's the only source of solace she has had in a long time, and she needs one more than ever. (If she had to chose a word for Cassian Andor, it's almost.) - Surviving Scarif and leaving Scarif are two very different things. - notes: amazing how survivor's guilt is written here. love the long, slow burn.

title: Inevitable [WIP] [BR, CA, JE] by: cellorocket rating: teen word count: 10869 summary: He had the kind of face you saw everywhere, and nowhere at the same time – so unremarkably average that it was almost suspicious. But he knew how to wear it, knew how to be a thousand different things; whatever the mission required. Though he often disappeared into whatever role he was assigned, sometimes she saw glimmers of an emotion she couldn’t read ripple over those strangely common features, and knew it had no place in a liar’s arsenal of masks. Sad eyes, she thought, shivering. He can’t hide those. || the rogue one trio + episode iv and onward notes: I really like Bodhi and Jyn’s POVs and the sense of how strange it is to be so extremely close to people they barely know, and the simultaneous distance that incongruity creates

title: Long Way Home series [WIP] by: noelia_g rating: gen, explicit word count: 15357 summary: In which they all live and Jyn Erso is on a quest to fix a droid. Rogue One in the aftermath. Cassian Andor before Rogue One, during, and after. notes: god GOD

title: Arm's Length [CA, JE] by: FollowMyFeet rating: mature word count: 6404 summary: "You want me to hate you?" he hisses. "Okay, I'll hate you." notes: the first chapter killed me

title: stubborn hope by: conjurewithrisk rating: teen word count: 475 summary: This is a rebellion. They rebel by staying alive. notes: so I have lots of thought and feelings about martyrdom and survival and how maybe staying alive is the most revolutionary thing of all but also possibly the least idk. this brought up some stuff for me

title: they have stolen the heart from inside you (but this does not define you) [CA, JE] by: gingergenower rating: teen word count: 1578 summary: Jyn and Cassian escaped Scarif, and they end up in a rebel base in the middle of nowhere while they collect themselves. They are all stardust. notes: I like the fics where they are stricken with survivor’s guilt. I also like this one where Jyn’s detached and quietly bewildered. just observing things as they happen, having thoughts filter in and out

title: Stay in Motion [WIP] by:  ignitesthestars, nymja, starforged rating: teen word count: 5184 summary: Short stories set in a universe where the Rogue One crewmembers survive

===== AU - timeskip (after Scarif) ===== title: the sharp edge of survival by: with_the_monsters rating: teen word count: 3950 summary: They're heroes, now, but the not the type of heroes the Republic wants. Not bright and clean and effortlessly Light. Not able to sit still or give up the fight. The fight built each of them, after all. Made them what they are. notes: I really like this iteration of everyone-lives because there are gaps between surviving and living and what those are and how they might be filled is written in a very real and touching way.

title: Clean Shaven by: 19RosesofLifeandDeath98 rating: gen word count: 1263 summary: Cassian liked routines, and Jyn liked Cassian. It wasn’t a hard protocol to follow. notes: post mission hand injury oh no how will Cassian maintain his shaving schedule. so sweet and awkward I love it!

title: in the spaces series [WIP] by: nymja rating: teen, explicit word count: 9701 summary: Jyn, Cassian, and their intersecting moments during the Galactic Civil War. & Jyn, Cassian, and the war not ending after Endor. notes: I made many whale noises whilst reading this fic. another one for the post-Scarif trauma + slow, long burn file.

title: Cryptography [WIP] by: someinstant rating: teen word count: 6985 summary: Compromised, Cassian read, his fingers numbing against the screen. Jyn says to orphan. The words blurred, and he dropped the pad. “To orphan?” Senator Organa asked the general. She didn't pretend not to have read over Cassian's shoulder. “Cut ties,” said Draven. He cleared his throat. "It's what you do when an agent goes rogue--" Cassian shook his head. “No,” he said, mechanically. "It means 'to abandon.'” notes: “And the ending is amazing. The third act is perfect, and I wouldn't change it for the world. Which is why I'm just gonna shift the world over *just a little*, and keep going.” so exciting and plotty!!!!!

title: i don't care if heaven won't take me back by: gingergenower rating: explicit word count: 6628 summary: Cassian's compromised and kidnapped on a routine mission, taken by a crime mob working with the Empire. The Alliance orders Jyn to cut and run because too many lives would be lost failing to save him. As is her nature, she goes rogue. notes: riveting action scenes. I’m a sucker for the ride-and-die Jyn characterization

title: something distracting by: PastyPirate rating: explicit word count: 4679 summary: Cassian never really thought about statutes of limitations on disobedience. Mainly because he’d never disobeyed an order before. But after nine months, and a mission that can only really be called successful (body count and everything), he felt like getting a slap on the wrist for disobeying an order was a bit much. In which; Cassian has no idea how to properly be grounded, he ends up thinking too much about things he'd rather not focus on. notes: in love with Cassian’s running internal monologue and his constant berating of himself

===== AU - not even a little bit EU ===== title: not titled drabble by: plinys rating: gen word count: short summary: jyn x cassian, partners in crime au

title: we will not grow old by: Wildehack rating: mature word count: 3001 summary: In the dream, Jyn’s father is there, just like he was when she was new. He cups her face in his hands, and a rush of yearning fills Jyn’s chest, but she’s not sure what for. He brushes her hair out of her eyes, sits down beside her in this strange, cold room. “Analysis,” he says. notes: Westworld AU

title: not titled by: raspberrylimonade rating: not rated word count: ~ 1000 summary: Where instead of being killed in the blast, Jyn and Cassian are transported to LA in the early 2000s where Cassian becomes a retailer for home appliances (based of this interview https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fRZ1ihipQso) and Jyn becomes a fitness instructor. notes: charming!

===== AU - other (no Rogue One timeline, multiverse, etc) ===== title: The Jedha Moon Jockey [WIP] by: ballantine rating: mature word count: 3963 summary: “Jedha’s not a priority for the Alliance at the moment,” he says, not looking away from the open panel. “Oh, of course,” the girl says. “It’s not like the occupation of this moon has anything to do with its extensive kyberite ore, which, if you didn’t know (but you should), the Empire has started to turn to for energy enrichment. And it’s certainly not like the Alliance’s apparent abandonment of one of the most revered symbols of the Jedi Order will have any impact at all on rebel morale in the Mid Rim — ” Cassian momentarily gives up on opening the cell door in favor of putting his head in hands and groaning. notes: “Cassian picks through the wiring and says, “For someone who obviously hates the Empire with so much passion, you don’t seem too worried about being caught in one of their holding cells.” She shrugs one shoulder. “Saw Gerrera will come for me. He always does.”” EVERYTHING I'VE EVER WANTED. "Saw Gerrera did not abandon Jyn" is a tag but so is "Loss of Faith." I am worried.

title: not titled / Sic Itur Ad Astra  by: radiojamming / ClockworkCourier rating: not rated word count: ~ 2600 summary: Jyn Erso, unsurprisingly, turned everything he believed about himself and the galaxy right on its head; what was right, what was wrong, and what to do about it. It was all different because of her, and he couldn’t help but feel something like a sinking sensation in his chest when he realized that. He didn’t accept it, though. Not without a mark. Not without a reason. notes: jyn/cassian soulmate (w matching birthmarks) AU. does the fatalism of the trope very evocatively

title: Propaganda by: pantropia rating: not rated word count: 812 summary: Neither the Rebellion nor the Empire are above using popular media as propaganda. notes: movie within a movie meta fix-it

title: And The Next [WIP] by: ienablu rating: teen word count: 20448 summary: Jyn looks to the disappearing horizon and thinks, The Force is with me, I am one with the Force. The Force is with me, I am one with the Force. The Force is strong with me, I am – Jyn wakes up in her Wobani prison cell, panting and a scream dying in her throat. notes: I love Groundhog Day AUs. this is one of the best I've ever read. the most recent chapter (4) is painful in the perfect way.

title: The RebelCaptain Ultimate Kiss Mod [WIP] by: Coryphefish rating: teen word count: 504 summary: There should have been a kiss on the beach? In the elevator? Why stop there? This is the fix-it fic we really need! ALL the moments in Rogue One where it almost happened? Now it did!

title: not titled drabble by: kylorenvevo rating: not rated word count: ~1000 summary: jyn/cassian alias!au with jyn spying on the empire and cassian as her rebel handler

===== Misc ===== - a really wonderful fanvid - radiojamming: important features of k-2so day - rinsantago: "In retrospect, there was no freaking way that Jyn and Cassian could have been Rey’s parents." - iamthezip: "What does little 6-year-old Cassian “rebellions are built on hope” Andor do for the fucking rebellion?!" - thegrayship: ““You DUMPED me!” vs “They’ll be back for me.”” [Jyn and Rey comparisons] - lionmettled: “Info on Chirrut and Baze from the Visual Dictionary” - notbecauseofvictories: “I have managed to find a single feeling about galen erso, and it mostly concerns him being an amoral figure, wearing very badly-fitting moral skin” - Star Wars: Rogue One places Asian heroes at the core of its revolution - rukbats: “Anyway, what I’m trying to say here is that by modern standards we can safely assume that Cassian Andor was most probably a scorpio, sagittarius or a capricorn thank you for coming to my TED talk” - betterbemeta: “3P0 is simultaneously totally useless yet hyper functional because he was not made according to any specs except “the best most toughest things possible to help my mom for a long long time on a hot desert planet” - I made a Cassian Andor mixtape!

I am here and always ready to cry with you about revolutions and Saw Gerrera and Cassian and Jyn. ☭<3☭

[chiefjusticechui]

setting, climbing, and feeling

After listening to Kris Hampton interviewing Tonde Katiyo and talking about it with my coworker and friend, David, I’ve thought a great deal on what feelings I’ve ever had while climbing or working a climb and on what specific things about a climb evoke those feelings. The thought process is important to me as I learn and progress in setting and as I continue climbing.

Tonde Katiyo has talked about setting climbs with emotion in mind. The easiest example is frustration; it’s common to get frustrated with a route for a number of reasons: you’ve done all the moves but can’t link it up, you’ve done all moves except the crux, you progressed yesterday but took a step back today... But David said something to the effect of, “I don’t know what a joyful climb would look like,” and it got me thinking about what emotions, other than frustration, do climbers feel while on a climb or while projecting.

So I went to social media. I asked the questions, “What do you feel while on a climb?” and “What emotions have you felt while working a climb?” to my followers on Instagram, and there were several answers: anxious, self-conscious, clunky, underwhelmed, fearful, relieved, excited, content.

I thought about different feelings I’ve had while climbing or working on something (particularly failing on something), and the list is even longer: frustrated, fearful, disappointed, obsessed, addicted, determined, playful, surprised, carefree, stupid, clever, alone, proud, insecure, unattached, thoughtless...

I’m not sure what it is about the climbs that have made me feel any one of those things. Some of it has to do with why I’m climbing the route, I suppose--like if I am warming up or projecting or training endurance or working on climbing open-handed... On a warm-up climb, I’m likely to think about things other than the climb itself, and so I feel detached from the climbing and still in my head. But while projecting, all of my thoughts outside of the climb in front of me--or even a single move--disappear; I am attentive to the climb and to how the climb makes me feel. 

So I suppose that the feelings involved with projecting (or climbing hard at all) that I want to focus on, and my goal was to focus on an emotion, determine what about a climb makes somebody feel that way, and think about how I could set that. But as I go through it more, I’m not sure I’ll land on some specific setting process...

Let’s take the “easiest” example: frustration.

What do I do when frustrated in climbing? I roll my eyes. Walk away. Groan and complain (probably call the climb--or myself--stupid; something is stupid for sure). Definitely don’t smile--I probably flaunt my resting bitch face. Wrestle my shoes off of my feet and then toss them to the ground.

What has frustrated me about these climbs? A single move I can’t do, or can only do in isolation. Inability to link the climb from start to finish. Not seeing what sequence I need to perform. Reversing progress, forgetting beta. Sometimes, the style of the climb or a certain, forced move--not being fun or comfortable movement. If I think a climb is misgraded. For the most part for me, it may boil down to not being able to do something that I think I should be able to do.

How do I set that emotion in a climb? 

I could set a climb with really reasonable moves and one incredibly hard move. The downsides are that, usually, I prefer to set a climb that is sustained in difficulty and that that’s just kind of a dick move. If the only point is to frustrate a climber, then I could certainly set a climb composed of ten v4 moves and one v7 move--and call it v6. That just seems stupid to me. A v4 or a v5 climber would get on it, climb the ten v4 moves, not be able to do the one v7 move, and think they’re climbing a v6--but they’re not. What they are climbing is a v4; the climb “altogether” is a v6.

I could set a climb that requires power endurance--set 20 moves of v5, and call it a v6. A v5 boulderer has the strength to do every move on it, but do they have the endurance to send the climb? That wouldn’t be so bad, I suppose.

But I want more than the difficulty of individual moves taken together. I want the movement itself to provoke frustration. Is there a way for the way in which I move my body to frustrate me?

I get frustrated on climbs that have what I think are dumb moves--either because they’re awkward or they’re jumpy or something. And suppose that I cannot avoid the climb (because if I could avoid the climb, I would. I would just not do whatever dumb climb there is). In a commercial gym or outdoors, I can pick and choose the climbs that I want to do. But if I were to compete in an onsight competition, I would have to give my best effort on each climb--there’s no avoiding the dumb climbs, the dynos, whatever.

But that’s also subjective. What movement I find dumb is specific to my style, but somebody else (indeed, many people) may love run and jumps, straight up dynos, double-clutch moves, etc.

That could be how this mission to figure out how, generally, to set for an emotion ends up--subjective, varying from situation to situation. I imagine that any one climb could make different climbers feel different things. Maybe I need to just begin with setting to evoke any emotion rather than a specific one.

That seems a lofty goal already. My ideal (though not always practical) approach to setting a climb is to set for flow, continuity, fluidity of movement--something physical, not mental. Sean has this way of setting that gets at the mental game as opposed to merely the physical game, and I know, while setting, when something will feel incredibly insecure or scary. But aside from insecurity or fear, how do I force something physical to become psychological?