#elizabeth hardon

[parf-fan]

Alex Stompoly's typecast is monsterfucker send tweet

[joyandowen]

Do the boys ever go to the movies? If so can we have a scene where they come out arguing over what they thought the movie was about?

They’re not necessarily arguing about the movie, but they do have a bit of back and forth about the star of it.

Joy has five siblings. Owen knows about exactly none of them, and that seems to be for the best, so far. He’s not sure how differently Owen would treat him if he knew about his family. He has two brothers and a sister who are elites in Hollywood, famous actors, on all the magazine covers, another brother who acts as lead singer/guitarist for one of the biggest bands on the charts, and another sister who brushes elbows with the likes of Versace and Armani, the people not just the companies.

Joy has managed, thus far, to keep himself out of the light his siblings bring upon their family, to the point that he’s fortunate enough not to get recognized. Perhaps through luck, or his siblings insistence of keeping him on the down low until he finds his place in the world, or perhaps because the press isn’t that interested in the crippled youngest sibling in a family of standouts.

Whatever the reason, Joy is glad that he can travel with Owen and he doesn’t have to worry about being recognized. However, he’s sure it will come to pass at some point or another, if only due to the fact that Owen loves everything his family does.

His favorite movies all star Sam or Orion, Joy’s older brothers, he owns every single Daydream Dryads album (also Joy’s brother), and the one and only item of designer anything that Owen has is a ‘honest to God, hundred percent legit, I pre-ordered it, that’s how I know’ pair of Meadow Carlisle shoes that were, in his words, too good to pass up on. They cost upwards of six hundred dollars, and Owen said it was worth it.

So when a new movie comes out starring Owens favorite star, Sam Carlisle, as the dashing male lead, Joy isn’t the slightest bit surprised when Owen insists they go and see it.

It’s amazing, mostly. Well, Sam is amazing. Joy takes a selfie with the poster when they leave the theater and sends it to his eldest sibling, Owen watching him the whole time as he takes the picture and smiles like a dork at his phone.

“Anyways, as I was saying,” Joy begins, hunching a bit under Owen’s arm thrown over his shoulder, “The performance was there, trust me, I’m not hating on the performance. I’m hating on the plot. If anything I think the performance was the only thing that made that movie watchable.”

“I’m not saying you’re wrong,” Owen starts, using the arm hooked around Joy to sip from the dregs of their overpriced soda, “but you are so wrong. The story was good, the plot was good, and the performance, mmm-“ he kisses the tips of his fingers, “fucking amazing. Even if the plot was awful, I wouldn’t have been able to tell past Sam Carlisle’s acting.” Owen shrugs and earns an eye roll in return.

Joy gently unhooks his arm, the extra weight was throwing off his balance and making it hard to walk. “Clearly.”

“I’m serious, Joy! That guy’s, like, the best actor of our generation. He can save all the terrible plots. Like, what was that movie from like two years ago, December in July? Godawful, just the worst. But did I see it in theaters four times? You bet your sweet ass I did. The guy gives such a great performance you almost have to go along with it, y’know?”

Joy laughs, shoving lightly at Owen’s side, “Dude, December in July was garbage and even Sam knows that. I mean watch any of his interviews from that movie and it’s so obvious how much he hated it.” Joy takes the empty soda cup from Owen when the vicious slurping from the straw becomes too much and tosses it in the nearest garbage can.

“No, no, I know. I didn’t say it was good, December in July was a mess. The point I’m trying to make is that Sam Carlisle is a great actor and a national treasure.”

“I guess,” Joy snorts before Owen continues on.

“Also, like, hot? Super hot, holy shit. Like I try not to get all gross and gay over celebrities but I would bend over for him without even stopping to ask why-“

“Owen! Gross!” Joy shrieks, shoving at his side again. Owen tips his heads bit to get a better look at Joy’s pink cheeks. Holy shit he hasn’t made the guy blush this bad in weeks.

“It’s not gross. Why is that gross? I’m just saying Sam Carlisle can rail me and-“ he gets a punch in the arm, and Joy’s face looking more angry now than embarrassed.

“Stop! Jesus. I just- I mean- ugh, he reminds me of my brother! Like I can’t be attracted to him ‘cause then it’s like having the hots for my brother.”

Owen smacks his shoulder and nearly doubles over laughing, which Joy doesn’t appreciate. But Owen doesn’t have the sense of mind to give the poor guy a break. “Dude! We have to fix that! You gotta watch more of his stuff, maybe if we immerse you enough you’ll disconnect that thought and be able to fanboy with me.” He drops the empty popcorn bucket into the next trash can they walk by.

Joy rolls his eyes again, hugging himself as they turn the corner. They’d had to park pretty far away, but it was luckily one of those small towns where everything is in walking distance. “I’ll pass on that.” Joy snorts, rubbing his arms against the wind that rushes through and chills him a little.

“You didn’t even give that much thought, you don’t even want to try?”

“Not really. He’s just. I dunno, I guess he’s just not my type.” Joy shrugs, and turns to give Owen a sideways glance when the other tugs his sweater off and drapes it over Joy’s shoulders. He smiles a little, and he slips his arms through the sleeves, tugging the sweater tighter around himself. Owen snorts that Sam is everyone’s type and Joy just waves a hand at him. “Dude, just let it go,” he laughs.

“I can’t,” Owen says, shaking his head, “I just can’t let this go, what kind of male attracted person doesn’t find Sam Carlisle hot? He’s… Joy, he is God’s perfect creation. Sent down here by the man himself just to turn people like you and me gay.”

Joy throws up his hands, stopping and turning to face Owen, “Fine! Fine, okay. I didn’t wanna tell you this, but I just really want you to drop this, So here it is- I did a movie with him.” Owen reels back, taking a full step backwards to emphasize his surprise.

“What? Fake!”

“Nope, I’m serious, it was back when he was just getting started, it’s called Girls Like Hannah, I was the comatose brother. They gave it to me because I didn’t have to get up through it and it was easy to hide my lack of legs. He played my brother and I have never been able to get past that. Past the brother thing. I will probably never find him attractive.” Joy shrugs, and he tilts his head a bit at the look of pure shock on Owens face.

“Oh my god.”

“What?”

“I can’t believe you were in a movie with Sam Carlisle, and you didn’t fucking tell me! You monster.” Owen reaches up, grabbing the drawstrings on the hood and pulling them so Joy gets trapped.

Joy snorts and bats his hands away, pulling the hood back open, “Well I didn’t realize you had such a hardon for him-“

“What’s he like? I mean other than brotherly, what was he like beyond that, is he nice? If he- oh my god- is he gay?”

“He’s married to Elizabeth Steinbar?” Joy frowns, “Can you chill please?”

“Okay he’s married to a woman but he could be bisexual.” Owen grins, throwing his arm over Joy again, and pushing him to walk again.

“I can confidently say that Sam Carlisle doesn’t seem to be the slightest bit gay.” He waves a hand at Owen’s disappointed snort. “Anyways, you wanted ice cream or something right? We passed a shop that does that rolled ice cream stuff on the way here, we’ll stop and get some. I’ll buy, y’know with my Sam Carlisle movie money.” Joy grins.

“So not fair,” Owen huffs, and Joy takes the hand over his shoulder and pulls it into place a kiss on his palm.

“You’ll live. Come on, ice cream!” He grins, tugging on Owen’s arm and pulling him to the shop.

Inside is set up almost like a cute little cafe, with tables around for people to sit at, comfortable music and lights that aren’t too bright. Joy grins and drags Owen in to see what all they’ve got. Owen keeps his arm resting over Joy’s shoulders as they scan the selections, “I think I’m gonna get that s’mores one. It looks fucking good. What about you?”

“I’m leaning towards the strawberry cheesecake.” Joy mumbles, tapping a finger to his chin, “Yeah. Definitely strawberry cheesecake.” He confirms, nodding a little. They finally step up to the counter after a couple in front of them has gotten their ice cream, and place their order, Joy still holding Owen’s arm over his shoulder, fingers twined together.

They move out of the way and they watch as the man behind the counter starts to make their treats. Owen leans his head over a bit to rest his cheek against Joy’s hair, watching the man work with gentle ‘ooh’s. He serves up Owen’s first, and he accepts the cup with his free hand, when Joy’s is finished he does the same. They don’t part until they sit, when it kind of becomes necessary for them to be able to eat.

Joy scoops up a bite of his and hasn’t even gotten it to his mouth yet when he hears Owen making a pleased sound across the table from him. He looks up and Owen is staring at the cup in his hand. “Oh my god this is so good. Holy shit.” He grins and gets another scoop, offering it out to Joy, “Try it, try it, it’s really good!”

It’s so… It’s so good, to see Owen so happy, Joy thinks, and he gently takes Owen’s wrist into his hand, guiding it forward so he can take the bite of ice cream right off the spoon. He contemplates it for a moment, and he hums, nodding. “Yeah that is really good.” He smiles, and he loves the way that Owen smiles back before returning his focus to his food. Joy almost forgets to eat his own because he’s having such a good time just watching Owen be happy.

He finally takes a bite, and his is delicious as well, as he’d expected. He smiles, and he offers Owen a bite, which the brunette happily takes. He mirrors Joy’s earlier tactic and just takes his wrist and eats the bite right out of the spoon.

Joy watches his face twist up into this happy expression, he almost looks like a kid. Eyes closed, grinning from ear to ear.

It’s a rare moment. Joy’s just glad he has quick enough reflexes to grab his phone and snap a picture before the smile goes away.

When Owen’s attention returns to his own cup, Joy’s eyes drift to his phone, and the picture of Owen, as happy as he’s ever seen him. It’s a nice reprieve from the week they’ve been having. Owen’s depression spiking, Joy finding out about what exactly lead to him running away from his life so suddenly, the way he weakly brushed off the idea of the waterpark because he thought it would be too much of an inconvenience for Joy to deal with.

It’s nice to see him happy again.

All Joy wants is to protect that, he wants to see that smile on his face so much more, the brief moments like this where he gets to have it feel far too fleeting, and Joy wants more of it.

He’s in too deep, and he knows it, but he’d happily let himself drown in it if that smile was the last thing he got to see.

[qupritsuvwix]

Esther, Judith, Jael, Mary, Elizabeth, and Salome.

Three heroines, two baby mommies, and a villain.

Three women, two incubators, and a virgin...

The Jewish Scriptures celebrate patience, courage and maturity. Esther was a concubine in a harem in her fairy tale in the torah. She risked her life to save her people by turning the tables on an evil asshole. Judith and Jael, a widow and a matriarch, used their wiles to defeat able military commanders. There is a triumph to their actions and they are celebrated for both their sexual efficiency and their gruesome intent.

The Gospels highlight the hardon of a roman-appointed bureaucrat causing the casual execution of a washed-up messianic herald, supposedly Yeshua’s cousin. The story serves no purpose as it is an overgrown rumor. The author probably wasn’t anywhere near the event, if it did occur. Also, the girl’s name goes unmentioned in the story. Yet this salacious little horror fantasy is celebrated in art, song, and drama for the Dance Of The Seven Veils and used as an excuse for Orientalist soft porn, which has little place in the story of Yeshua Von Nazareth. Maybe it’s a call back to Pilate’s wife, her dream, and the subsequent washing of hands... Anyway, in the twisted minds of Christians, the heroines of the New Testament are Jesus and John’s mommies, who each had a cross to bear in the form of unexpected pregnancies. Old El Shaddai can poop out an entire eco system in six days, but his female creations have to gestate in the usual way. John’s daddy gets a mini epic comparable to passages in the torah, but his mom gets as little screen time as Yeshua’s incubator.

Anyway, Judaism gets three upstanding citizens, while Christianity gets two dish rags and a twerker.

[xanderpolitics]

Money Talks, Pundits Speak

Steyer, Buttigieg, and now Klobuchar have humbly and effectively ended their races with Klobuchar endorsing, or expected to endorse Joe Biden who is riding some kind of wave from his win in South Carolina. A win that has been blown largely into big proportions by the establishment backed media.

Well, the establishment was not about to just stand idly by and let these campaigns cannibalize each other in front of the American people. They don’t need to see it and we don’t want them to either. So Joe Biden is the darling of the establishment and they’ve got his back in exchange for something in the cabinet I’m sure. Which is great, because that would be one fierce cabinet.

As for the rest of the field. who knows, this race had more twists and turns than nascar. What’s going to happen right now? Let’s postulate by candidate shall we on this eve of Super Tuesday.

Sanders - he’s not going anywhere. He’s going to ride his average 25% through the remaining states and on to the convention. He just has to watch out for the old bait and switch with the super delegates. He might want to start thinking about how to reach within his own party for help and support, or continue to amass a base so large they can’t be stopped once mobilized. Or he could always call for a life line. Where’s AOC? She’s normally not one to shy away from a fight or any excuse for that matter. Why isn’t Bernie’s personal mouth piece shouting from the rooftops? Who knows. Who cares, unless things turn or the Bernie camp takes a turn for the worst, then it’s his nomination to lose. If he can’t coalesce establishment democrats behind him, then that should be more telling than anything about what we don’t know or what’s behind the scenes that’s at play.

Joe Biden - America loves an underdog. Joe went from being the only dog in the fight to being the underdog in the fight. It’s like he went from being the odds on favorite to the dark horse in the course of 4 states. Look how volatile his campaign has been. If the next debate only has 4 people, I’m not sure Joe holds his own with longer speaking times. He forgets his words, he forgets names, and he forgets his talking points. It’s like dementia but selective to times when his confidence dips a little. If he can grip his teeth tighter, and keep his head clear, he can walk across the finish line.

Bernie Sanders - what a nightmare you’ve gotten yourselves into with this one. Now he better win every state on Super Tuesday or his campaign is going to be seen as week and losing ground. The establishment is coelescing around Biden in a very blatant and public way and In record speed I might add. Bernie is having none of it calling them out on national tv. The media is no better. They glorify everything Biden Does and Vilify everything Bloomberg does. Meanwhile Bernie is setting fire to the rain amassing an army of ride or die kids who’s vote we can’t afford to lose. Bernie, if you lose, do it like a man this time around.

Elizabeth Warren - she’s probably the most studied senator on the stage. She’s got plans for days. But plans are not policies. When we see those plans turn to policies , we see who she really is. Right now she has no reason to get out, a side from the fact that she may lose her home state to Bernie. She is the Bernie Insurance plan. If he croaks or falters, she’s got him. Now, she needs to stop beating up on Bloomberg just because he’s rich and talk policy. Real policy. I don’t want to hear stop and frisk or NDA come out if her mouth again.

It’s time for them to start working together to beat Trump. No more divisiveness. Unity. On to the next debate! Warren, if not an attack dog, has a lot to gain. It’s also more then apparently clear the media has a hardon for Biden, Bernie, and Elizabeth, but they have it out for Bloomberg. That’s clear as day into night. No need to sugar coat it. They drag Bloomberg through the mud not knowing how he’s really going to do. He was polling in 3 place and above 15% for the national average which means he will get delegates in from each state. So he’s there to stop Bernie from reaching the magic number.

[dockerifique]

juandiegobotto All new episode tomorrow at 10PM. YES the blond woman is Letty. ..

Good Behavior "You Could Discover Me" Sunday, Nov. 12 – 10:00p.m. ET/PT

Letty (Michelle Dockery) takes on her biggest con yet as she infiltrates a drag club, posing as drag queen Priscilla McCall in order to steal half a million dollars to stay out of prison. It becomes a more dangerous operation than they ever expected. 

The episode features drag queens Sharon Needles (RuPaul’s Drag Race) as Tonya Hardon, Ginger Minj (RuPaul’s Drag Race) as Ruby Flare and Roxy Wood as Sweetie. 

Can Letty channel her inner queen and deceive the best of the best to get her through this heist? Directed by Jessica Lowrey Written by Chitra Elizabeth Sampath Created by Chad Hodge & Blake Crouch Based on the Letty Dobesh books by Blake Crouch

[historyrepeatsitself-phff]

Chapter Sixty-Two

Emmy sat down silently beside Zara, hands gently pressed to her bump, and she listened to the conversation surrounding her. She was at Buckingham Palace, where Elizabeth was hosting a meal to celebrate Beatrice’s birthday the day before. Beatrice was sat beside her grandmother, smiling and remembering to laugh while at the same time looking half asleep. Emmy knew why – she’d heard that Beatrice had at a raucous night at Boujis the night before, and she was sure that Elizabeth would not approve of her married granddaughter acting like a single woman.

“So, how’s Harry?” someone asked. Emmy, who’d been lost in her thoughts, started back to the present to see Peter smiling across the table at her.

“He’s…okay,” she said, nodding. “I think he’s loving Brazil. Every time I speak to him he’s got to go give out some medals or something.”

“Bet he loves that. Mister Important,” Mike said, grinning. “Watching the beach volleyball.”

Peter snickered. “He always did like volleyball.”

“I think he described it as ‘the less clothes, the better’, am I right?”

Emmy finally realised what they were saying, and her eyes widened slightly in horror. Had she really just let Harry fly across the world on his own, where lots of perfect female athletes were waiting for him?!

Zara rolled her eyes at them and patted Emmy’s hand. “Hey, ignore them. That’s what the old Harry is like. The one who goes to Vegas and gets snapped naked. The new, married Harry isn’t like that.”

Emmy smiled gratefully. “He starts the trek on Thursday anyway. No hot athletes there.”

“How long is the trek for?” Anne asked, changing the subject to stop Emmy looking upset.

“Er, three to four weeks I think. They’re going through the amazon. He comes back on the 5th of September.”

“Shit, I didn’t realise he was away for so long,” Beatrice said, surprised. Elizabeth scowled at her profanity, but Beatrice was too hungover to care. “Damn, you must really miss him.”

Emmy nodded. She could feel her throat closing up, preceding the tears. She swallowed – she really didn’t want to talk about Harry anymore.

“And how’s the baby?” Phillip asked gruffly, gloriously changing the subject.

She broke into a smile, patting her bump which had grown since she’d last seen the royals. “The baby’s fine. We had our five-month scan before Harry left and everything’s okay.”

“Aw, that’s good,” Zara said.

“Did you find out the sex?” Autumn asked.

“No, we wanted it to be a surprise,” Emmy said, glancing over at William who was sat further down the table. He masked his emotions – while Kate was at home with George and Charlotte, William had surprised Emmy by turning up, ruining her plans. So she told him that they didn’t want the family to know. She prayed he wouldn’t say anything, otherwise the entire goal for the evening would be ruined.

She wouldn’t have another chance to tell Harry’s family – all of them – the names they’d picked. And she knew that this was the perfect opportunity. Her chest tightened with nerves. This was it.

It worked with your family, she kept telling herself, for it had. She’d gone over her father’s two nights earlier because Benedict and Susie were over from America. She’d told them all there that it was to be baby Andrew or baby Annabelle – they were delighted with the names.

Emmy took a deep breath. “But I got really stressed out afterwards,” she continued to the table. “I realised how long he was leaving me for and how little time afterwards we’d have to think about stuff and decide stuff.”

“Oh, don’t panic yourself,” Anne said gently.

“You’ll have plenty of time, dear,” Elizabeth said.

“It’s really not as much stuff to do as you think,” Autumn added, smiling reassuringly.

Emmy mustered a smile, as though she was really grateful for their kind words. Truth – she wasn’t worried at all about the time they had. It was just a good excuse.

“Well, Harry tried to calm me down-” “Bet he did,” Mike said, sniggering and making eye contact with Peter, who barked a laugh.

She rolled her eyes at the two of them. “We decided to have made one decision before he left, to…I don’t know, get the ball rolling. It made me feel better.”

“What did you decide, honey?” Sophie asked. The entire table was listening, and Emmy felt oddly self conscious. Oh shit, what if she told them the wrong names?!

“We chose the baby names,” she said, beaming. Mike started to say something, but Zara hushed him immediately. “And you realise it’s so difficult to find a traditional baby name that you haven’t all used, right?”

That earned a lot of laughter.

“Well, if it’s a boy, we’re going to call him Albert. And if it’s a girl, we’re going to call her Rose.”

A thousand different conversations started at that point, so many different opinions on the names, all good, all delighted, but Emmy could only hear Charles because he shouted over the rest.

“Oh that’s marvellous!” he boomed. “Little baby Bertie or little baby Rosie!”

Emmy laughed and smiled and thanked people for their congratulations the same way she had done two days earlier with her family, while inside relief was coursing through her. That was two down, two out of the four groups of people that she had to tell. She was halfway there.

“Not gonna lie, your family are really gullible.”

Harry barked a laugh. He was sprawled across a sun-lounger, beaming at Emmy through facetime as she was curled in bed. “I guess they bought it, then?”

“They didn’t even question it! They truly believe that we’ve chosen the baby names at, like, five months in.”

“Maybe that’s what they did?”

“They probably had their baby names chosen for them,” she said bitterly. “Surprised they didn’t do that with us.”

Harry rolled her eyes. “They’re not all evil, you know.”

“Is that so?” she said sarcastically, then she sighed and leant back, looking over the empty bed. “This bed is so big without you.”

“Come on, you normally kick me out of it anyway, you must be loving all the space.”

“Not really,” she said. “I miss you.”

On the screen, he smiled sadly. “I miss you too, baby. Not long now.”

“You haven’t even started the trek yet!” she pointed out miserably. Then she frowned, suspicious. “Should you not be training for that? Rather than sunbathing?”

“What do you take me for, some sort of lazy scrounger?”

“Well, you said it.”

“Ha ha.” He smirked at her. “Having fun in that big bed of yours?”

“You see, I can tell from your voice that you think I’m up to no good, but really I just watched four episodes of Modern Family while eating ice cream.”

He chuckled. “What’s happened to you? It’s like you’ve turned into a middle-aged woman who has a hundred cats.”

“No cats in this house,” she said, smiling. “Ooh, there’s an idea!”

“No, Emmy.”

“I could get a cat.”

“Don’t you dare, Emmy!”

“It would make me feel less lonely,” she said playfully.

“Emmaline, don’t.”

She giggled, but the use of her full name accelerated her heart. “Okay, I won’t get a cat to keep me company. But don’t get mad at me if I get a dog instead.”

He rolled his eyes. “You want a puppy and a baby, all at once?”

“You’re no fun.”

“No, I’m being the adult.”

Emmy smirked. “Well, you’ll just have to come back and stop me, won’t you?”

Her teasing set his insides on fire. Oh, how he wanted to go back to her. He was regretting saying yes to the trek now. “If I come back, and there’s any kind of animal in our house, I will teach you a lesson.”

“Oh yeah?” she taunted. “Like what?”

“Well, I would say I’ll bend you over the kitchen counter, but you get off on that, so…” He trailed off, grinning.

She blushed, her memory going back to the time that he had done just that to her, but only because she’d been so hormonal she’d demanded it. “I get off on anything you do to me, so good luck.”

He let his breath out slowly through clenched teeth. “Stop doing this to me.”

“Are you alone by the pool?”

“Yeah, the last guy just went.”

“Oh good, don’t want anyone to see you with a hardon.”

“Will you please stop, Em? Honestly, earlier I was in a meeting going over health and safety stuff for the trek and all I come think about was you, and the way you always…” He stopped himself, blushing slightly. “Never mind.”

She raised an eyebrow. “Go on,” she said, somewhat breathlessly. His words had sent fire coursing through her veins, igniting her cells. 

“All I could picture was the way you bite your lip to try and stop yourself from crying out whenever we make love,” he said, seemingly shy. Then, to lighten the mood, he added in a cheeky voice, “If you haven’t guessed, I’m missing you a lot.”

She broke into a smile, her heart fluttering. “I miss you too,” she murmured, wishing she could be there with him.

An identical smile lit up his own face, and he ran a hand through his hair, changing the subject. “So have you told everyone their designated names now?”

“Not yet. Just my family and yours. Although it’s Jake’s birthday tomorrow so I can tell your friends then.”

“Are Taylor and Chris not going?”

“Nah, Taylor’s working, and I think Chris is staying in with Kian. He doesn’t really like going if Taylor isn’t going, I think. He’s a bit shy around your friends still.”

“Yeah, I don’t blame him, they’re a bit loud,” Harry chuckled. “Say hi to them all for me, will you?”

“Of course, I’ll tell them that you miss them all dearly.”

“Yeah, don’t push it, I want it to be believable,” he said, and she giggled lightly. “Any cravings yet?”

“I’m not sure. I tend to eat a lot of stawberries,” she said cheerfully.

“What about hormonal fits?” he asked.

She rolled her eyes at his teasing. “Well…there was that one time I had to get Zach to screw me in the back of the car after shopping…does that count?” She looked at the screen innocently, only to see him scowl.

“Not funny.”

“Oh, I’m sorry. Did that make you jealous?”

“No. You know I didn’t believe you for a second.”

“Sure sure,” she said, laughing lightly. “Zach’s not my type, anyway.”

“You have a type?” he asked incredulously. “Emmy, your type is ginger princes. Good luck finding another one of them for you to cheat on me with.”

She laughed at that, then sighed and sat back. “I miss you.”

“You still can’t get a cat.”

Emmy giggled at him. “I wish you were here,” she said. “I’m hornier than I’d like to admit.”

Harry smirked at her. “Well, there’s no one here. Feel free to give me a show.”

“Ew,” she said, hitting the screen with her pillow to hide her blush from him. “I’m not touching myself for you.”

“No, only once I’ve hung up, right?”

“Stop being dirty,” she said. “You have to ruin everything.”

“Excuse me,” he said, outraged. “You were the one who brought up how horny you are.”

“Can I get a cat if I touch myself for you?”

“Emmy, what is it with you and cats?”

“They’re cute.”

“And possessed,” he said. “Honestly, I’ve never met a cat who wasn’t the spawn of the devil.”

She rolled her eyes. “They sense it if you don’t like them, you know.”

“No, Em, I believe it’s that they sense if you’re scared of them,” he said. “And I most certainly am not.”

“You sure?” she teased.

“Emmy, I am days away from walking through the Amazon rainforest. Where there are snakes. And actual things that could kill me. You really think I’m scared of cats?”

She shrugged. “Look at you, bragging how brave you are.”

“I know,” he said chuckling. “No need to mention how scared I am about the whole thing.”

“Don’t be afraid,” she said gently, sensing the seriousness of his words. “Honestly, think about how much you’re going to enjoy it. You always love these things. And so many people would pay so much money to go to the Amazon. You get to go for free, and for charity.”

He considered, nodding slowly. “You’re right.”

“You just don’t want to go because you won’t be able to speak to me for three weeks,” she teased lightly.

“Honestly? I think that is actually the problem.”

“Oh, Harry, I know it’s going to be difficult. I’m going to miss you too.”

“It’s not just not being able to speak to you,” he said. “It’s also not being able to hear that you’re okay. You and the baby. Edward can’t contact me via satellite phone every day just to say that our little princess is okay.”

“That’s what you’re worried about?” she asked. “Harry, trust me, our little princess is fine.” She gently rubbed her bump as she spoke. “I can take care of her.”

“I know, but…”

“But?” She arched an eyebrow.

“You fainted the other day.” His voice was small, as though he knew what he was saying was enough to piss any woman off.

Emmy swallowed a bitter remark, and sighed. “I know, it was a wake up call for me, too. I realised I need to take better care of myself, even if it is only for this little one inside of me.”

“Just be careful, okay?”

“I will,” she said, smiling at the concern on his face. Then she sighed. “I better go.”

“Yeah, me too. Ed’s not going to be happy if I spend all of today sunbathing. I’m meant to be getting ready for the trek.” He made a mock-worried face, and she laughed lightly.

“You’ll phone me again before you go, right?”

“Of course. I’ll facetime you. Maybe then you’ll put on a show for me.”

“Don’t count on it,” she said, rolling her eyes. “Maybe I’ll have a cat.”

Harry scowled. “Don’t you dare.”

Emmy giggled lightly. “Don’t worry, I’m not going to get a cat. It’s fun to let you think I am, though.”

He shook his head at her. “Okay, Em, I love you.”

“I love you too! I miss you!”

“I miss you too,” he said, smiling and waving back at her. “Stay safe.”

She blew a kiss and he grinned, pretending to catch it and pocket it.

“That was the cheesiest thing you’ve ever done,” she said, laughing. “Bye Harry.”

“Auntie Emmy!” George squealed in delight, as he opened the front door to see her stood there.

“Oh, hi George,” she said in surprise, not expecting it to be the three-year-old who welcomed her into the apartment. “Should you really be answering the door?” She gently stroked his hair.

George shrugged, holding his arms up so that she could lift him onto her hip and give him a cuddle. “Daddy’s with Lottie.”

“Is he? And where’s Mummy?”

“Work,” he said, pouting.

“You know, George, you shouldn’t answer the door. What if I was a stranger?” she asked gently.

He seemed to consider that, but before he could reply William had appeared, looking stressed with Charlotte in his arms. Charlotte cooed at the sight of Emmy.

“Emmy?” William asked blankly. “How’d you get in?”

“This little one,” she said, gently bouncing George. William looked angry.

“George, what have I told you about answering the door?!” he snapped, then sighed and placed Charlotte down on the floor before running a hand over his face. “Sorry, Em, did you want a drink or something?”

“Well, I came round because you said you wanted to talk. Is now not a good time?”

“Um…sure, why not? You might be able to help me with Charlotte, she just wants to play with me all the time and Miguel keeps e-mailing me with more paperwork that I need to look at.” He puffed his breath up over his face, then smiled tiredly. “Do you want to come outside into the gardens? I’ll bring you some juice?”

“Okay,” she said, then crouched down beside Charlotte, who was gently tugging at her father’s trouser leg. “Hey, Charlotte. Do you want to have cuddles?” She lifted the little girl into her arms, and Charlotte babbled incoherently, nuzzling into Emmy’s hair.

As William got them drinks, Emmy led the two little ones outside, with Charlotte on her hip and George’s hand in hers. She found it funny that William was complaining that Charlotte wanted to play too much – she’d heard parents complain about much worse things, like non-stop crying and projectile vomiting.

Emmy took a seat on one of the garden chairs and sat Charlotte on her lap, bouncing her up and down on her knees until Charlotte was squealing with delight, her mouth wide open in an enormous beam. Emmy laughed lightly at her.

“See? Daddy just needs to pay you more attention, doesn’t he?” she mused, kissing the top of Charlotte’s brown hair. She let her eyes drift over to George, who was crouched on the floor with some dinosaur toys. “What have you got there, George?”

“Dinosaurs!” he said, picking them up and bringing them over to show her. “This is a triceratops and this is a stegosaurus and this is a tyrannosaurus.”

“Wow, you know all their names,” she said. “You’re so smart.”

“I love dinosaurs!” he said.

“Why don’t you go make them trek through the deep forests over there?” she said, pointing to the bushes. “It looks like it could be the Jurassic period.”

“What’s joorasseek?” he asked, looking confused.

“Jurassic. That’s when the dinosaurs lived.”

“Cool,” he said, then, as William came out with drinks, he said, “I going to play in the Jurassic now.”

William frowned in confusion at his son, surprised by his words, but said nothing as the toddler tittered away with his toys. William took a seat opposite from Emmy, and he smiled at the sight of her and Charlotte.

“She loves you,” he noted.

“That’s good because I love her, yes I do, beautiful little Charlotte,” Emmy said in a sing-song voice, nuzzling against Charlotte’s fluffy hair and making the baby giggle. “I can’t wait to have a little baby just like her of my own.”

William half-smiled, then frowned. “So, you know it’s a girl? For sure?”

“Well, Abigail said that she’s pretty sure. Apparently, it was quite obvious in our ultrasound.”

“Then, can I ask why you told my family a girl’s and a boy’s name?”

Emmy bit her lip. “Harry wants to tell them himself-”

“So did you just make up a boy’s name?” William asked, frowning. “Why say anything at all?”

She sighed. “It’s…complicated.”

He raised an eyebrow.

“So, you know how we’ve had all these problems with someone selling stories to the press? Well, Claire came up with an idea to try and catch them out. We don’t know if it’ll work but we thought we’d try. Basically, there are four different groups of people who knew about the pregnancy before it was announced: my family, your family, my friends and Harry’s friends. So we’re telling each group a different set of names, and then, hopefully, one set of names will end up in the papers and then we’ll know, roughly who it is.”

“And you really thought it necessary to include my family in that?” William asked, somewhat annoyed.

“Your family haven’t been good to us the same way they were good to you,” Emmy answered simply, avoiding his gaze by playing with Charlotte’s hands.

He looked like he wanted to argue, but thought better of it. “So…you haven’t decided on names then?”

“Not yet.”

“Oh, I was starting to get used to ‘Rose’,” he said, grinning.

“Sorry to disappoint,” she laughed. “Was it believable, though? What I told your family on Monday night?”

“Yeah, you tricked me and I already knew it was a girl, so…” He chuckled. “I may have told Kate that it’s a girl, too. I didn’t realise it’s a secret. I told her not to tell anyone until you’ve told them though.”

Emmy shrugged. “It doesn’t bother me, but I think Harry wants to tell people himself.”

“I bet he’s happy with a little girl.”

“He keeps calling her his little princess,” she said, laughing lightly, her heart melting at the thought. “And she literally is.”

William barked a laugh. “That’s true, hopefully she’ll be a bit better behaved than this princess here.” He looked down at Charlotte, who giggled. “So, how far into this plan have you got? Who have you told?”

“My family, obviously your family, and I went out with Harry’s friends last night and told them. That just leaves Taylor and Chris.”

“Oh, so you’re nearly done.”

“Yeah, and then we just need to wait and see what names end up in the papers.”

“What happens if none of them do?”

Emmy sighed. That eventuality had crossed her and Claire’s minds, but she forced herself not to worry about that until the time came. If it came. “I guess we just have to hope that someone will let it slip.”

“It’s sad, isn’t it?” he mused glumly. “That we’re actually hoping for someone to sell you out, just so we can find out who it is.”

“I don’t know if I want to know.”

“Are you worried it’s your family?”

“No, more so… what if it’s Taylor or Chris?”

“Don’t think like that. You trust them, don’t you?”

“Yeah, but what if I’m wrong?”

“I’m sure you’re not,” he said, smiling reassuringly. “They’re both nice people.”

Emmy nodded, not feeling very comforted by that. “I’m seeing them tonight. Gonna tell them their names.”

“Good luck.”

“Thanks.”

William got up to fetch some paperwork he had to sort, leaving Emmy to look after George and Charlotte for a few moments. Emmy fiddled with Charlotte’s soft brown hair, hoping beyond hope that her evening with Taylor and Chris would go smoothly so that this whole ordeal could be over.

Harry sighed, swinging his backpack onto his shoulders and stretching his legs, ready for the start of their long day of hiking. One of the guys, David, was stood nearby, and he grinned.

“Here we go, eh?”

Harry grinned back. “I’m almost nervous.”

“You? No way!” David teased. “Shit, now I feel like I should be nervous too.”

“Don’t worry, Dave, it’s only because I’ve got a pregnant wife at home,” Harry replied, falling into step behind the group.

“If she’s anything like my Julie was when she was pregnant, you’ll be lucky to be away,” another guy, Luke, said.

“No, I worry about her,” Harry said. “She fainted the other day.”

“Emmy seems so small,” Jason, another man, said. “And she’s so young, as well.”

“She’s strong as hell, though,” one of the girls, Helen, said. “I mean, look at how she coped with all that shit you went through after you went to India. She got through that.”

“And the papers were so rude about her back then,” David said, clapping Harry on the back. “I wouldn’t worry about her, mate.”

“She’ll be perfectly fine,” Helen said. “She seems like a strong woman. She’ll get through it.”

Harry nodded, feeling only slightly reassured by their words. He knew that Emmy would probably be telling Taylor and Chris the names later that night, and then all of their plan would have been carried out. It worried him that he would be unreachable for the next three weeks – he would not be able to see the aftermath. He would have three long weeks of walking, in which his mind would be free to imagine every different outcome and wonder whether the rat had sold them out again.

He trudged on through the undergrowth, some strange species of bird squawking high above him. The heat and humidity sent a bead of sweat rolling down his forehead. He forced himself on.

Taylor was delighted by the names, Chris not so much. Chris was hoping for a boy to be called Christopher, and was not amused by the ‘Henry the Eighth’ sounding choice of ‘Henry’. Nonetheless, they were both happy for Emmy and were eager to discuss more about the little baby growing in Emmy’s womb, imagining what they would do with it when she was born. Taylor wanted to take her to Disneyland, while Chris wanted to take her to the seaside.

Once Emmy returned home that evening, she felt relieved. She’d told the four groups their respective names, and now her part was done. All she had to do was wait. Hopefully – or hopefully not – a name would turn up in the paper, and then she could leave it to Claire to sort out.

She stretched out on the sofa, nibbling on a bowl of strawberries which she’d taken a fancy to recently. She was taking advantage of all her alone time to catch up on The Walking Dead which she still was nowhere near finishing. She was midway through her second episode of the night when there was a knock on the front door.

It was gone ten o’clock, and apprehension shot through her. Who would that be? But, in an attempt to reassure herself, she knew that anyone would have to be cleared by three different sets of security to make their way to her front door.

Nonetheless, she peered out of the window. It was Taylor.

Frowning, she opened the door, smiling in an attempt to seem relaxed. Taylor didn’t look happy – there were tear stains on her cheeks, and her face was contorted into an enraged grimace. Emmy stared, concerned.

“Oh my god, Taylor, are you okay?”

“Am I okay?!” she snapped, pushing her way into the apartment. “Am I okay?! No I’m not fucking okay!”

Emmy stared, bewildered by her best friend’s outburst. “What’s wrong?”

“You don’t even know what’s wrong?!” Taylor cried, as Emmy hastily shut the front door behind her and turned to face her, looking apprehensive. “Emmy, I thought I was your best friend.”

“You are-”

“I thought you and me were there for each other, no matter what.” Tears were brimming in Taylor’s eyes now.

“Tay, you were one of my bridesmaids,” Emmy said gently, feeling sick, wondering what had brought this on. “You would’ve been maid of honour if the family hadn’t kicked up such a fuss that it had to be Lucy-”

“I thought you trusted me,” Taylor said simply. Her voice did not break, and she stared Emmy down as, finally, the pieces fell into place in Emmy’s head.

“I do,” Emmy said without hesitation, but now she felt awful, for she’d lied to her all evening. “Of course I do-”

“Why did you lie about your baby names?’ Taylor asked, and then she exploded. “You LIED TO ME! I know you did! You told me some bullshit names and then you told Skippy some different ones!”

Emmy felt her eyes prickling now. This was the reaction she’d feared. This was the reaction she’d had nightmares about.  “No, I can explain-”

“Explain what, Emmy?! Explain why you lied to me?! Explain why you think I’m the one who’s talking to the press?! Go on then.” Taylor glared.

“I don’t think it’s you,” Emmy started shakily “I never doubted you, but Harry-”

“Fucking Harry!”  Taylor shouted. “I’m so fucking done with Harry, you know that?! He comes along and then it’s all about him! You go running off to him whenever you’re told, you spend all your time with him, you get all whimpy when he’s not around!”

Emmy’s tears spilled over cheeks, and her breath came in gasps as she tried to ignore the pain stabbing through her chest at her best friend’s words. Because she’d heard them before, in a way. They were mirroring everything that Claire kept trying to tell her. But Taylor was not sugar coating them the way her secretary did.

“Why didn’t you just tell him he’s wrong?!” Taylor was raging. “I’ve been your best friend for years, why didn’t you-?!”

“I tried!” Emmy wailed. “I tried to tell him! I tried to convince him! We had a huge argument about it, I went and stayed at Claire’s-!”

“But you came back,” Taylor stated bitterly.

“Of course I did,” Emmy said, so upset. “He’s my husband, and I love him, and we are adults. We work things out.” Her words were very pointedly directed at Taylor, and Taylor flared up.

“Don’t give me that bullshit, Emmy!” Taylor roared. “You don’t even know what love is! You lost your virginity and within a few months you’re pregnant with his baby, all within six months of having your first kiss-”

“It wasn’t my first,” Emmy snarled foolishly.

“You do everything that he says, he makes all the decisions. It’s like he’s your dad. Hell, he’s nearly old enough-”

“If you came over just to insult Harry-” Emmy tried to sound threatening, but it didn’t work. Tears continued to flow over her cheeks, cracking her voice.

“I’m just saying the truth,” Taylor said hotly. “I don’t know who you are anymore. My best friend Emmy would never accuse me of selling her out. She would never put up with some of the stuff that you’ve put up with-”

“What do you expect me to do?” Emmy asked helplessly. “Look at my life, Taylor! I don’t know who I can trust! Everyone seems to be trying to benefit from me in some way!”

“I’m not!” Taylor snapped.

“Are you sure?” Emmy said accusingly. “Because you sure as hell didn’t let me forget how willing you were to be my maid of honour! And I noticed how you had a sudden interest in Pippa Middleton after I asked you!”

“You think I was using you?!”

“As opposed to someone else?”

“Look at your perfect husband!” Taylor shot. “Things are rocky until you let him fuck you and then things are perfect when you agree to have his baby!”

“I agree?!” Emmy quoted. “This is my baby! Mine! It was Harry and I’s fathers who came up with this idea, but we were the ones who decided to have a baby!”

Taylor scoffed. “You really think that Harry would’ve gone along with it if he’d not wanted a baby?”

Emmy shook her head, refusing to listen any more. “Get out, Tay, I don’t want you here if all you’re going to do is insult me and insult Harry.” She moved to open the front door.

“Emmy,” Taylor said, before Emmy could undo the lock, and her voice had softened slightly. “Just answer me this. Did you honestly think that I leaked that ultrasound picture to the press? Because I know you’re only thinking it because Harry’s made you think it.”

“Honestly?” Emmy snapped, and then she sighed, rubbing her eyes. “I don’t know what to think anymore. Now please get out.”

Taylor gave Emmy a dirty look. “You’re driving everyone who loves you away-”

“Leave!” Emmy screeched, then swallowed and tried to take a calming breath. “Please. Just leave.”

Taylor slammed the door behind her, leaving Emmy to break down in tears in her silent house, wishing that she could have Harry there with her.

And Harry, batting flies away from his face in the rainforest, wished he could be with her instead.

[samuelgarran]

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[parf-fan]

Yo, if you weren’t at Alex’s drag show tonight, YOU DONE MISSED OUT, cause that was a damn good time!  I was there by myself, so the hour-or-so of socially milling about was agonizing and exhausting, and I was not pleased to be accused of heterosexuality twice during the show (but it was for the bit, so all is forgiven), but those are my only complaints.

If you were there, do as he asked and pop on over to the Faire’s website and leave some feedback (scroll allllll the way down) saying how great the show was and asking for Alex to perform such shows there again.  If you weren’t there, go do the same anyway so that you’ll have the opportunity to attend such a show.