#elliie williams drabble

[sleepyangelkami]

TRUTH OR DARE e.williams

☆ WORD COUNT - 8.7K

ELLIE WILLIAMS X FEM!READER

☆ SUMMARY - it started out innocently enough. a sinless sleepover shared between two best friends, one much more experienced than the other. but nothing would have prepared the innocent girl for the events led from a simple game of truth or dare, started by ellie williams who knew exactly what she was doing.

 ☆ WARNINGS - smut, oral + fingering (r. receiving), strap sucking (e. recieving), strap fucking, use of 'my dick' and 'my cock' when referring to ellie's strap, tinsey bit of humping, dom!ellie, sub!reader, innocence kink, size kink, spanking, slight age gap (17 - 19), daddy kink (oops), ellie's lowk the town whore, use of pet names, kinda overstimulation, dumbification, inexperienced reader, intended lower case, nothing i write is ever proofread 🩷

ellie williams was known in jackson, and not only by the way everyone may think. sure, the girl certainly had been known for the amount of work she put into the town by all of it's residents and of course she was known as the cheery girl, joel millers daughter, the same girl that wouldn't even hesitate to help someone unload bags if she spotted them struggling. ellie williams was known as one of the 'glues' of the town, keeping it put together. but how she was known by the teenage girls of jackson was a very different story.

ellie was fourteen when she came to jackson, she had matured much since then and everyone could see that, especially the girls.

It was no secret that ellie williams got around, nor was it a secret that she had slept with more than half of the girls in jackson, some even straight. but what she wasn't known for, was relationships. she was a hit and dip kind of girl, the one that never stayed the night, never attached herself to anyone, she wasn't the kind of girl to be a girlfriend, and believe me when i say... she rejected too many girls to so much as begin to count.

then there was always you.

you were another one of the glues of jackson, respectful and polite, hardworking but in many different ways than ellie was. you were sweet and kind yet awfully shy, hiding into yourself for the most part. sure, you got on well with the elderlies but when it came to actually having a conversation with a teenager, you ran before you could see the light of day. even the thought of it seemed merely impossible. but that wasn't to say that you couldn't handle everyone. you often went on patrols with dina and jesse, you always helped maria and her husband, along with joel miller too. and you never hesitated to help out with the younger kids, feeling much sympathy for them seeing as they had to grow up in the apocalypse, alike you, and you knew it wasn't too peachy yourself.

then there was ellie. oh, how you loved the girl.

when she first got to jackson, you were beyond admiration, fawning over her every move. when you met her it wasn't romantic, no definitely not, but she was older than you were, so fearless of anything in her path, so good at keeping conversation with everyone she met. she was so... cool.

she had girls practically crawling all over her, she was loved, adored, you weren't jealous of the attention in the slightest. you simply admired it, the way she didn't have to move and it seemed that every girl was fawning over her. she had been with at least half of the teenagers in jackson, and it was no help that most of the girls were... well gay.

you had never really thought about it for you never thought about being in a relationship but when ellie constantly spoke about being lesbian, about all the girls she had been with and i mean.. just look at her! you knew then and there that you too had the very same liking towards girls, after all, you had never really seen yourself getting with a boy anyway, not that you had thought about it.

when ellie noticed your admiration, she instantly took you under her wing, she became the best friend you had always longed for, she and you did everything together, spending all your time with one another down to the very last minute when you finally went to sleep. more often than not, you were sleeping at your house with her. your parents always away on guard duty or even on night patrol and you obviously had the bigger house of you two, so naturally, that was where the sleepovers occured.

just like now as you dressed in your shortest shorts in your wardrobe, pretty and pink, silky and slightly flowly though rather tight against your skin as well as your small tank top, pretty and white, little flowers dotted across the fabric. there was nothing worse than those warm nights in jackson, when everyone was asleep and you were left to deal with the heat alone, no one to complain to.

luckily, you were always attached to ellie's hip.

"I'm so warm!" she groaned in front of the fan, her chin on the palm of her hand in which had been propped up on your bed by her elbow, eyes shutting closed, she couldn't stick the heat any more than you could.

"same." you mumbled, lying on your back with one arm over your eyes, the free hand fanning your face, seeing as the girl had practically hogged the fan, snatching it right from you. the short and skimpy clothes did absolutely nothing to sooth the terrible heat sticking to your skin. you were just thankful that the windows were wide open and the fan was spreading cold air across your room for there was nothing worse than legs sticking together with the heat, or sweating in your bed.

ellie sighed, moving from the fan as she propped herself up next to you, she on her stomach, you on your back, however you couldn't so much as notice her with your arm strewn across your eyes. she was in a black wife beater tank top (one of which, when she had told you the name of, you stared at her with your mouth agape stating that it couldn't be true because who on earth would name a t-shirt that) along with grey sweatpants that looked too hot for this weather. you always mocked her for this, stating that she dressed like a twelve year old boy. "let's play a game to distract ourselves from the heat." she suggested and yet... you knew that playful tone from anywhere.

lifting your elbow, you crained your head up just enough to give her a questioning look. "what kind of game?" voice light and unbothered as you slowly put your arm down, looking up at her while she, face still in her arm, looked down at you.

she grinned―no, she smirked down at your pretty face, hand moving away so she could sit up. "okay." already beginning the game. "truth or dare." your groan and you pushing an arm back around your eyes had her pushing your arm back and rolling her eyes at you. "cut the dramatics." she warned in this tone that had your stomach feeling rather strange, not that you'd ever tell her that. "c'mon, don't you trust me?"

that smirk that played on her lips would be the absolute death of you. you sat up, hair falling down over your chest to hide the shape of your nipples through your shirt... you weren't wearing a bra. you didn't think anything of it, it was just ellie, your best friend, she wouldn't care. "truth." but oh, how it drove her crazy.

"boring." she rolled her eyes, settling on the bed as she criss-crossed her legs, elbows falling on each knee. a smile suddenly spread across her face as she picked the perfect question from her mind. "what's your biggest turn on?" oh, she was jumping straight to the point? you couldn't deny the way your eyes blew wide and instantly, heat spread across your cheeks at her question.

instantly, you turned your face away, hands pushing up in a 'no' motion. "mm-mm, no, can't do this with you ellie-" though it wasn't the first time you spoke about sex. of course, ellie would always tell you every detail of her latest conquests and while you should have been disgusted, you were more intrigued, after all, ellie was your personal sex ed guide. ellie couldn't deny it either, that sick obsession with the way your eyes squinted at her, confused, innocent, oh how she would melt on the spot.

yes you can, her hands grasping at your own, stopping them from moving away. "yes you can!" the hands on your own caused you to go impossibly more red, eyes almost begging, but for what? you were still unsure.

you looked at her, eyes falling as you stared straight forward at her. "i don't even know what my biggest turn on is." but that only had the girl scoffing at you.

it was as if she could read you better than you could yourself. "yes you do!" she almost groaned out, throwing her head back, as if you were annoying her, as if you ever could.

"i don't- i guess, uhm..." you bit down on your bottom lip, thinking back to everything she had ever told you about sex, what was your biggest turn on? it was funny, you don't think you have ever thought about it until that very moment when your hands began to brush against your own skin of your arms. "probably... praise?" you mumbled, barely audible. yes, that seemed like you knew what you were talking about for ellie and jesse had explained it in great detail in front of you before, not directly to you, but you heard anyway, while you and dina were busy looking at a photo album. all you knew was that when those certain words were uttered from ellie's lips, you couldn't help but push your thighs together.

ellie smiled, a smile that had her tongue pushing between her teeth. "yeah?" almost teasing you with that look in her eye, but you knew she wasn't judging either, there was a fine line between teasing and judging, ellie would never cross past the mockery.

"yes, now shut up!" you giggled excitedly, tossing the pillow into her face. however, you remembered to take note of the fact that your parents were home tonight and you didn't wish to make too much noise, otherwise they may come in and the last thing you needed was them overhearing this conversation.

ellie caught the pillow, chuckling as she set it aside, grinning at the funny look on your face. what you thought was awkward, what she thought was downright adorable. "your turn." she nodded at you.

you sat up straighter, moving your hands to stretch out your arms. "truth or dare, els?" the position you were in was anything but comfortable, straining your back.

"fuck it." she spoke, pushing her back up against your many pillows on the bed, you were envious of her. "i'll go with truth too."

now it was your turn to roll your eyes, seeing as she had called you boring for doing the exact thing she was doing now. "hmm, lemme see." you placed a finger on your chin, jokingly, though you were, in fact, in deep thought. you wondered what you'd ask her, there were many questions you wished to ask her before, all about the same topic she just loved to bring up, sex, but you weren't as outgoing nor as confident as she was so when you asked, you were sure it sounded too awkward, not as 'seductive' as she. "what does shower sex feel like?" you suddenly questioned, like an inquisitive student to her teacher.

ellie laughed in your face. "what?"

"what?" you threw your hands up in defence, though you couldn't deny the heat that spread across your cheeks and the embarrassment through your body. "i wanna know and you're like... the sex god?" and now you were really embarrassed.

ellie barked out laughter, throwing her head back again as her hand came down on her stomach, after all, you had called her a sex god, despite the way you meant it. "fuck, i can't!" turning over on her stomach, burying her face into your many plush pillows.

your cheeks were stained crimson. "that's not what i meant!" you protested, simply meaning that she knew so much, not that she was that good. you kicked her leg and just as you were about to toss a pillow at her, you realised you had no more. "just answer the question and save me my pride." hiding your face away in your hands.

"your pride is swallowed, angel." sitting up straight with a simple grin on her face, however, you didn't remove your hands from your own. "it feels good." you peeked through your fingers, she saw that and grinned. she slowly lowered her hand, your eyes watched as her her fingers came down to trace the skin of your leg, you ignored the goosebumps it left, she didn't. "usually starts off with... little massages, gets you all relaxed, you know?" she was practically whispering, suddenly, her body seemed so much closer. "and when you're all relaxed like that, soaking in hot water, the smell of soaps... everything's just so much better." her eyes moved up to your own, your hands had fallen by your side, you gulped gently, a smirk returned on her lips. "truth or dare, angel?"

your body almost let out a whimper, instead, your lips pressed into a thin line. there was a feeling in your throat, though, one that screamed at you to make a noise. but you knew you couldn't, of course you couldn't. "dare." you mumbled, exciting and yet surprising yourself.

you must have surprised ellie too, judging by her face, you definitely did. "oh... someone's confident." shock washing from her face almost instantly, she was well prepared, you weren't. "hmm... okay, I dare you to call me the nickname of my choosing for the rest of the game." okay, you thought, lips turning upwards as you nodded, that wouldn't be hard at all. "and if you mess up... i get to spank you." shrugging as she moved her body backwards, back against the pillows once again.

your eyes blew wide and your mouth fell agape, and yet still, ellie seemed completely unphased. "that's completely absurd el-" she watched you, her mouth opening, waiting for you to mess up. you glared at her. "what's the damn nickname." you grumbled, eyes cast down, though you couldn't deny the sudden excitement rumbling in your stomach, yet also nervousness, itching at the back of your throat once more.

"drop the attitude, will you, bun?" leaning forward again. she knew she could turn the situation around for the worst and she would, why wouldn't she? it was ellie williams for god sake. "the nicknames' daddy." and that was your final straw, eyes almost popping out of your skull. "something wrong? can't handle a simple dare?"

"no." you deadpanned, eyes squinting at her. "i can handle it just fine... daddy." the word seemed foreign, weird, you internally cringed and while ellie smirked, she didn't say another word, she'd wait to embarrass you about it later. "your turn, truth or dare?"

with sudden confidence, one of which it seemed she always had, she answered the question rather swiftly. "dare." without so much as hesitating.

"i dare you to...." looking around the room, you had to get her back but in what way? your eyes suddenly fell on your wardrobe and a grin spread across your face. "show me your polaroids." sure, it was your room but in a box at the bottom of your wardrobe, behind all your clothes and hidden away was all ellie's 'things'. at first, when the girl had practically begged you to keep all of her 'sex things' in your wardrobe, you instantly shut her down, shaking your head and stating that you wouldn't have her strap or other slutty belongings hidden away in your room. however, when she told you the story of joel threatening to tear her room apart to find what he was looking for, you couldn't exactly say no. your parents never entered your room without consent, let alone searched it. it was a place ellie knew her stuff would be safe, and you were her best and friend and oh how you admired her, how could you say no?

ellie stared at you momentarily. "fine." she moved her hands underneath her and made her way over to the wardrobe, opening it and fishing her hands in behind your clothing. you sat on the bed, watching as she opened the box, grasping the polaroid pictures and pushing the box back behind your clothes again, covering it altogether. "now." tossing them onto the bed, right next to you. "do with them, what you please."

you ignored her poor use of grammar and picked up the one closest to your leg while grimacing. you didn't want to look at photos of ellie and her sex buddies but you wanted her to care, to suddenly get nervous and anxious, to twitch and blush the way you do. but she never did, an amused look on her face as she watched yours. you flipped over the polaroid, eyes turning wide. there sat a picture between your finger tips, something strapped into ellie and... inside someone else. you couldn't see the strap really for it was plunged too deep inside some blonde girl, one of which ellie was tugging the hair of. "ew." the look on your face doing nothing to hide the pure distaste you had or the photograph. "who even is that?"

you're question caused the girl to turn around, settling herself right next to you. your knees that were propped up slowly slipped and she took a hold of the polaroid only she didn't take it from your hands, instead she placed hers on top of yours to turn it her way. "no idea." she shrugged and you placed the picture back on the bed.

"what do you mean?" you all but stretched out your sentence. "you just look at someone and say 'you're hot, I wanna have sex with you' and that's... it?" it baffled you, how you could just have sex with a nobody, someone you had no connection to at all, a face you couldn't even remember.

ellie shrugged her shoulders once more. "pretty much." she shrugged her shoulders. you gave the polaroids a look of slight disgust as she picked them up off the bed, rolling her eyes. huffing, she found her way back to the box, placing them back inside before seating herself back onto the bed. "truth of dare."

"truth." deciding that the last dare was much too far, you needed to get it back to the normal tension, not this one for it was much too hot, you couldn't handle it. then again, ellie was anything but casual, she was sure to make this hard for you.

she looked as though she had already planned this out, which she had, a thousand times in her head. "who's the first person you fantasised about?" eyes going wide for a moment as she grinned at you. yes, she surely was not going to make it easy.

you. the simple answer, to the simple question however none of this was truly simple, so you answered. "katy perry, obviously." rolling your eyes as if she had known this already, which she had, she just didn't know that it was a lie.

"oh, come on." she placed her hands on her knees to stabilize herself. "you saw her showing a little too much skin in one magazine and your frigid ass went ballistic." it was true, you had seen her in a magazine one day on patrol and you simply stared, a little starstruck.

"shut up, that's so not true." but oh how it was. you were a prude, at least that was what the teenage boys called you. you didn't engage in any 'activities' nor did you hear much about them unless it were from ellie, but seeing something? well it was graphic enough for your eyes to blow as wide as saucers. "truth or dare?"

"truth." ellie answered almost instantly, without missing a beat.

"stop copying me." you rolled your eyes at her. "uhhh..." rocking forward and backwards with your hands on your knees. "do you think anyone could ever think of... me that way?" tilting your head, sudden insecurities slapping you right in the face. you didn't wish to sound whiny, or insecure but it was ellie williams, she was your best friend and she knew you better than anyone and she had probably the most experience in the entire town, she'd know if you were capable.

"y/n l/n!" she almost shouted, a wide smile stretched across her face, she fawned shock. "are you asking me if i think you're hot."

"my god." you groaned, shoving your face right into a pillow because ellie williams truly never knew when to be serious, and you hated the way every time she laughed, your face felt hot and flush. the sound of a knock on the door caused you both to stop, heads instantly whipping towards the door. "come in!" you yelled out to your parents, you knew it was them for there was no one else home.

"hi, sweetheart." in came your mother, a smile on her wrinkled face, you made an effort to smile back. "hi, ellie." she was met with a wave before she turned back to her daughter. "me and your father are going out for night patrol now, alright? you and ellie might fancy watching a movie down in the living room now that you have the dvd player all to yourselves."

"okay, thank you, mom." you rose from your bed, giving her a short hug. you were touchy like that, especially with your parents, always making sure to give them hugs whenever you saw them, it was just the way you were. "love you, you and dad be safe, okay?"

"always are." she grinned, placing a chaste kiss on your head. "see you later." and just like that, the night turned around, maybe for the better, maybe for the worst, you weren't too sure. all you knew was that at one minute you were sitting in your bedroom, clenching your legs together and ignoring your scratchy throat with your parents downstairs and the next they were gone further beyond the walls while you and ellie sat on the couch, watching some shitty western movie she had borrowed from she and joel's house before, she never did give it back.

for the entire movie, you sat at one end of the couch, curled up with your head laying on the arm rest, knees almost against your chest while ellie sat at the other, legs spread wide and her elbow resting against the back of the couch, fingers toying with the bottom of her mullet like hair.

the rest of the night passed by smoothly. after the movie, you and ellie had agreed to go to bed seeing as you were both awfully tired. however, upon slipping into bed, the lights off and curtain drawn, you realised you weren't actually tired, no, for it was only mere fake tiredness from staring at all of those pixels on the screen.

you stared into the black abyss, ignoring the awfully silent room. you turned, uncomfortable so that now you weren't facing the wall but ellie's back. but you knew from the lack of snores filling the room that ellie too was not asleep for she usually snored rather loud. she sensed you turning around and undoubtedly did the same, eyes open. she gave you a grin. "hi." she whispered into the dark.

you couldn't help but give a toothy smile back. "hi." whispering back, though you weren't sure why you were whispering for it was just you two in the entire house. perhaps it was the dark making you feel as though you should be asleep, so you gently turned around, flicking on the small lampshade next to your bed before plopping back to your original space, huffing out a breath. your eyes fell on ellie's in which were tracing your entire body over. "what?" you giggled.

but she looked up at you with an almost baffled look. the light illuminated her skin and it seemed to make her impossibly more pretty despite the fact you could barely see her face through the darkness. her hand came to your face, two fingers pushing your hair behind your ear. "people think of you like that." she whispered, answering your truth question from much earlier. "i know they do." she knew she did. "truth your dare, baby?"

you ignored the way your stomach twisted in nerves and your cheeks felt as though they were on fire. "We're playing that game again?" almost groaning as if you didn't want this, as if your heart wasn't in your mouth, as if there wasn't something pooling in your underwear.

ellie's mouth turned upwards into a little smirk. "we never stopped." she spoke in an agonisingly teasing tone as she moved her face closer to your own. if she moved another inch or two, your noses would be touching. "so, truth or dare?"

you found your own hands fumbling with one another. "truth." answering, attempting to start it off easily, however, ellie wouldn't make it easy for you, you knew that.

her fingers moved to your arm, stroking up and down your exposed skin due to your white spaghetti strap top. "do you touch yourself a lot?" her voice a low mumble, you wondered how she could say it so casually, as if she wasn't effected by the spoken words, and that alone seemed as though it were impossible.

your cheeks flamed a hot crimson colour. you would have protested, stating that it were too inappropriate to speak of, but you didn't, why? you didn't know. but you didn't protest, you couldn't because you knew deep down that you had dreamed of this moment since you met her. "sometimes..." you muttered back, voice wavering. "not a lot." but on the nights you did, it was a feeling unlike you ever could have imagined.

"yeah?" you nodded your head dumbly. "how?"

and as badly as you wished to answer, as badly as you wanted her to know everything, you couldn't for your embarrassment prohibited you from it. "it's not your turn." you mumbled, embarrassment thick in your veins as the girls lips curled upwards once more. "truth or dare?"

you wanted her to pick dare, you wanted to choose something completely wild but you knew she wouldn't because for every question in this game, she's chosen the very same as you did. "truth." she responded swiftly.

"have... you ever thought of me like that?" had she ever fantasized about you, is what you wanted to know, what you needed to know. you needed to know if she felt the same, if she too spent her nights with dirty thoughts occupying her mind. dirty thoughts about you, like the ones you had about her.

"all the time." She mumbled and your heart dropped to your ass. "sometimes when i'm... with someone-" her hand still stroking up your arm. "i have to imagine it's you to finish- no, not sometimes." she corrected. "every single fucking time." and you didn't know how to breathe. "truth or dare?"

thankfully, ellie had moved it right on, so you could be free of those smothering thoughts, the ones that had your thighs clenching together right now. "dare." because if you choose truth, she'd simply ask you the very same thing she did beforehand. 'how' did you touch yourself, that was something you didn't know if you were ready to say or not.

ellie's lips curved upwards into a smug smirk. you had walked right into her trap. "show me how you touch yourself." and this was worse. way way worse.

"wha-" suddenly all your breath had left your lungs. "i can't just-"

but ellie was quick to cut you off. "a dare is a dare, angel." shrugging her shoulders as she sat up, you followed in suit. "unless you're too scared." she shrugged her shoulders and if there was one thing you hated more than this situation altogether it was backing down to ellie, her thinking that you were 'scared' even when you were.

you huffed out, staring at her with her big dopey smile spread across her face. "fine." you spoke, voice wobbling once more. "but you can't make fun of me."

"me?" ellie fawned shock. "I'd never." and you rolled your eyes at that one. "whenever you're ready, baby." you'd never be ready but there was a certain haze over the room, a certain gloss over your eyes that told you to do it, maybe it was your cunt talking, you didn't much care, simply huffing out a breath as you prepared yourself. nothing would prepare you for this moment, the moment you had fantasized about since you were twelve. you moved to grab a pillow, a pink, satin one to be exact. ellie couldn't stop her smirk, you have got to be kidding me, she thought, unable to contain her smug features. you truly had no idea what you were doing. you couldn't look at her, not when you lowered yourself down onto the pillow, still clad in your pink shorts that pushed out by your ass. "it's okay, honey, take your time." her soothing voice actually helped and you finally lowered yourself down onto the pillow which you had done a thousand times before... but now that there was someone watching, you couldn't contain your nervousness.

you let out a shaky breath as your hands fell down, grasping at the pillow to hold it in place. ellie watched your small form get comfortable before rutting your hips forward. at first, you were met with mere ruts, small pathetic breaths until finally, the sensation began to built up in your tummy. maybe it was because of the pillow or maybe it was because she was watching. you don't know what possessed you but it was almost as if you had forgotten she was in the room with you. you rolled your hips against the pillow again and again, this time with more force and much faster, no stops in between. a mewl fell from your lips as you pushed your ass out again, the friction from the pillow against your clit was... good but surely not enough.

luckily for you, ellie could see right through you. she knew you better than anyone and she knew just how to make you feel good. "poor baby." she cooed causing you to rut your hips again, pathetic whimper falling from your lips. "you've never came with this, have you?" you eventually slowed to a stop, the feeling of her hand on your thigh enough to cause the heat in your panties to pool further. you shook your head, holding back an embarrassed whimper. she moved up, lips against your ear. "need daddy to help you feel good?" you had forgotten all about the nickname from before but hearing it roll of her tongue, uttered from her lips, you found yourself audibly whining as you nodded your head swiftly. she placed a chaste kiss against your neck. "words, bun."

"need you to help me." your voice turned into a whine, one you had never heard from your own lips, in fact, you had never heard anybody so needy, you were almost embarrassed. almost. the haze over your eyes stopped you from feeling like that. "please." ellie had enough.

she was quick to flip you over, pushing the pillow from underneath you and out onto your bedroom floor. she wasn't hovering over you for a second before she had dipped her head down, roughly kissing your lips. this was the first kiss you had ever recieved and you found yourself never wanting something more. her hands were on your waist, yours around her neck as you pushed your head up to kiss against her lips just as roughly, needy, sloppily. she herself couldn't get enough. making out with you had been what she dreamed of since she had become friends with you and now she was here, she wasn't going to let you go easily.

ellie didn't know how to tell you something, so instead, she let you feel it. she grinded her core against yours allowing you to feel the strap already strapped to her beneath her sweatpants. you gasped at her, mouth detatching from her own. "when did you-" shocked as you felt it grind against your core, letting out a whimper that cut you off instantly.

she breathed heavily against your lips, a grin on her face. "when you went to the bathroom." she stated as if it were some little secret she had been dying to share with you. you couldn't contain your noises as she grinded against you again, this time slower, raking up your shorts as she did. "fuck, need to take these off you." she spoke, pulling at your pink shorts. "can i take them off you, angel?"

"please." you whined, watching as she nodded her head, moving her hands so she could grasp at the waistband, pulling it clean off you and simply leaving you with your white cotton panties on, a very much so obvious wet patch on them.

"fuck." she grunted, tossing the shorts somewhere on the ground, presumedly with the pillow. "all worked up already?" she moved her hand, finger gently tracing over the circle on your panties, your little wet patch that drove her absolutely insane, almost over the edge.

you weren't stupid, you knew what happened next and you simply couldn't wait. "please." you begged, whimpering into thin air as you bucked your hips forward. "please just t-touch me." and ellie waited, you knew what she was waiting for so you didn't keep her waiting long, after all, you didn't much like to wait either. "please, daddy." words almost a whispered whine.

"good girl." she praised, grasping at your panties so she could pull them down your legs. you shifted, squirming as your core met the cold air of the bedroom. ellie shoved the panties into her sweatpants pocket, you didn't bother say a word, too busy waiting in anticipation for what she would do next. ellie's eyes met your core, a small grunt leaving her mouth as she dipped her fingers down. her head turned up, watching your face contort at the feeling of her fingers pressing against your lips, one finger sliding through to collect the slick. she turned her head back down, pulling her fingers away and spreading them, looking at your slick that coated it, she found herself laughing. "fuck, you're so wet, aren't you?" you didn't wish to respond, hands falling on your face to cover your blushed cheeks. "nuh-uh, none of that." pushing her clean hand up to pull your own away, you stared at her with crimson cheeks. "use your words." she whispered against your ear, placing a kiss right beneath the lobe. "use your words or i'll stop."

you whined with your lips shut at that. "a-all for you." you mumbled out embarrassingly but you never took your eyes off of her.

she hummed, a smirk on her lips. "I'm sure." she pushed her fingers back down again, pointer finger rubbing tight circles around your clit, she watched as you moaned out, flushed cheek against her shoulder as she practically hovered over your side. she did it again and again, watching your face change and listening to your pathetic little mewls falling from your lips. the sight was straight up pornographic. so, of course, the girl just had to push you even further. she moved her middle finger, lining it up with your core and plunged a finger in.

"oh my god!" you held onto her biscep, listening to her laugh as she pumped the finger in and out of you, you had never done anything like this before. you should have been scared, but you were too busy thinking about the feeling building up in your stomach, the one that was familiar yet oh so foreign. you had felt good before but this... this was very different.

"yeah? you like that, hm?" almost teasing tone as she pushed another finger in causing you to squeal loudly. the feeling of her two slender yet very long fingers pumping in and out of you caused many different sounds to fall from your lips, ellie wondered how many she'd be able to get out of you. she picked up her pace, sliding them in and out with ease as they were coated in your thick juices. she thanked god you were so wet, it made it so much easier to play with your pussy. though, she did hope god was nowhere near that bedroom in that given moment. "feels good, angel?"

you whined, nodding your head. "s-so good." you clutched at her shirt, hoping for something to bring you back down to earth, but it wouldn't work. on the contrary, it only fuelled her to go faster. "i think, i'm gonna-"

you had never orgasmed before, but this was the best you had ever felt. surely, this was how it felt to being close. and ellie could tell you were too for your core clenched around her fingers, practically swallowing them whole. "i know, angel, it's okay." she moved her thumb up, rubbing circles against your clit as she continued to move her fingers in and out of your tight hole, she wondered how on earth her strap was supposed to fit inside there. "let go f'me, bunny." and you did. there were a string of moans leaving your mouth, including... her name. she smirked up at you, knowing you hadn't the slightest clue of the mistake you made by moaning out her name. however, she was sure to have fun with it nonetheless.

she waited until you came down from your high, until your moans had just turned to harsh breaths, quick pants as you laid on your back, blinking heavily. never in your life had you ever felt so good, your core almost felt strange without her fingers inside of it. you had gotten a taste, you needed so so much more, you needed everything.

you felt ellie bend her head down, pressing chaste kisses against your neck as you breathed out another pant, eyes chasing hers. she returned her face towards yours, a knowing smirk plastered on it, your brows furrowed. "think you called me by the wrong name, honey." your jaw went slack at the realisation. "games not over yet." at the same time as fear entered your body, excitement ran through it.

ellie was quick to move, pushing you instantly so that you were draped across her lap, she manhandled you, as if you were a toy, so easy to pick up and toss around. and in her eyes, you truly were. after all, she had picked you up and thrown you across her lap as if you were, in fact, a doll. "wait." you whined out, suddenly scared. you knew that you had agreed to the dare but the thought of her hand coming in contact with your ass, the thought of her hurting you, it was rather scary. " 'm sorry daddy." you cried out pathetically, as if it would save you now.

"i know you are, bunny." her hand came down on your bare ass gently, rubbing along your skin as if you were a china doll made of glass, she grinned as you practically held onto her leg. you almost thought that she was going to let you off, but you knew better. "that's why daddys gonna be really nice to you tonight. i'll only give you five, 'kay?" you nodded your head despite your wobbling lip, this earned a small swat to your bottom. "words, angel."

"okay, daddy." mumbling out adorably as you held onto ellie as much as you could, scared that if you let go she'd disappear. your eyes shut close together at the feeling of her hand lifting from your ass. you squinted them close, ready for heavy impact and well.. pain. but as her hand came down, slapping your skin harshly, you didn't feel all too much in pain. it was a sort of elevating, almost gratifying feeling. you wondered, why would something that was suppose to cause pain, actually cause pleasure? or, was that the whole point in the first place? your thoughts of rambling were cut off by another slap. you flinched, despite the feeling of pleasure, it still stung and you could only imagine how red your ass would be now. you flinched in her lap, causing her large hand to have to hold you in place so you didn't move. you whined out as the third hit came down on your pretty skin. ellie smirked to herself, her plan working out gracefully.

she rubbed your skin once more, placing a chaste kiss on the bottom of your back before returning. "you're doin' so good for daddy, baby, you'll get a reward later, m'kay?" but this time, she didn't offer you a chance to respond, didn't even give you time to do so for she was spanking you once more. you wondered if this was her plan all along, why she had ever bothered to play truth or dare in the first place. but despite ellie's wild imagination about you, and about this very moment, you across her lap and her own hand spanking you, she didn't actually intend for it to go this far, however, she loved it more than she could ever explain. "one more, bun." and that was it, one more sharp stinging slap as you flinched once more, teary eyed and pouty lips as the girl allowed you to crawl into her lap.

ellie's lips were far from a pout herself, on the contrary, there was a pretty smile playing on it. she pushed your hair behind your ear. "was so good for daddy, weren't you baby?" you nodded your head as you pushed it into the crook of her neck. she began to rock her hips slightly, knowing that her strap was bumping against your already soaked and sensitive pussy. "yeah, my good girl." rubbing your sides up and down. "what do you say i give you that reward now, hm?" you sat in her lap, nodding your head briskly.

it didn't take long to get to where you were. sitting on your knees completely naked in front of ellie who too was now completely naked all except for the strap that was strapped to her lower half, dangling in front of you as your mouth completely covered it. it was neon pink, pretty and... very long. your eyes were shut as your tongue felt around the silicone toy, whimpering as it hit the back of your throat.

ellie had earlier stated that she was going to fuck you with it and of course with big eyes and a watering mouth, you indefinitely agreed to it but when she told you that you'd need to prepare first, you had no idea what she was talking about. you were scared, nervous, completely gone timid, worried you'd mess up in some way. nonetheless, when you finally had her strap in your mouth, you couldn't get enough.

ellie was sitting on the bed, legs spread apart as if she were man spreading while you knelt on the ground, hands holding onto her thighs after she had guided the toy in between your lips. you moaned into it as she pushed your head down further. her hand had somehow would up at the back of your head, fingers interlacing your locks of hair.

she pushed your head down on the strap, bobbing it so that the strap moved, bumping against her own clit. "fuck, just like that." her voice tight, her throat closing up. but she could feel it, the stimulation becoming oh so much, so she forced your head up, allowing you to stop. you watched her closely, moving your head away so that a string of spit connected your lips with her strap. "fuck, baby, y'look so pretty like this." she mumbled, her thumb swiping across your glossy lips, she groaned, she couldn't get enough. "c'mere." patting the bed as she too readied herself.

" 'kay." you mumbled, standing up on your wobbly legs. you felt them become like jelly beneath you, whether it was from your first orgasm, whether it was due to the spanking you had recieved from earlier or it was simply because you had been on your knees for rather long, or perhaps it was a combination of them all. you sat yourself on the bed, instantly becoming attacked by ellie's kisses.

her hand came up to sooth your cheek, fingers softly padding against your lithe skin. she sloppily kissed you, hot, open mouthed and messy kisses. you moaned into it, finding it hard to kiss back, the heat in your core suddenly returning as you felt your own hand sitting between your legs, you found yourself almost grinding on it. you couldn't take it, though, not when you felt so high and yet recieved no friction in where you needed it the most.

ellie noticed this, however, she never scolded you, instead she simply pushed your shoulders back gently. the kiss was detatched as you found your body falling limp against the mattress beneath you. however, the girl instantly towered over your frame, lips pushing down to meet your own. there was a sense of need, one of desperation as you kissed her back, finding your lips completely chasing her own.

she made a move to stand her hands on either side of your head, trapping you while she also lined herself up, making it easy to slip in, but she didn't. she moved one hand down, not breaking the kiss as she slightly pumped the silicone dick, lining it up with your entrance but only allowing the tip to tease at your hole. you whined out harshly, grasping at her shoulders and looking up at her with big doey eyes.

"what's wrong baby?" she asked in such a condescending voice, knowing how desperately you needed her. but how dumb you felt now, you couldn't even speak, words becoming a complete mush inside your brain. "c'mon, can't give you what you want if you don't tell me what it is, bunny." fingers stroking at your inner thigh.

you simply couldn't help it anymore, despite as dumb as you felt. "please, daddy, please— need it so bad, please, just want you in me please, please!" you were a babbling, waffling mess as you tried anything you could, even bucking your own hips in hopes of slipping her strap in further.

her lips came down to kiss against your neck, cutting off your babbles with a whimper. "as you wish, love." and slowly, she entered. you moaned out, wincing slightly as your hands clawed at her bare back, not so much as covered in a bra by now. you couldn't help the way you clenched around it, sensitive area already so stimulated. you felt dumb, completely and utterly fucked out by just her fingers. "fuck." she grunted, her head bent down low to meet the crook of your neck, hovering over you as her strap made it's way inside. "fuck, that hurt?" but you didn't respond, simply shaking your head with an 'mm-mm' because, truly, it was all you could muster.

however, it did hurt, just a slight stinging feeling but it soon went away. ellie could tell this, despite your answer because ellie knew you better than you knew yourself and she certainly knew your body. so, she didn't move for a brief moment, allowing you to collect yourself and breathe a breath out. "c-can you move?" you asked feebly, you knew she was awaiting your command, but you found it so incredibly hard to ask, you knew you shouldn't feel so embarrassed. after all, it was ellie, your best friend, the girl you had been so utterly in love with since you laid eyes upon her. there was no one you'd rather be doing this with.

" 'course i can, baby." pressing a chaste kiss to your cheek before she began to move.

it began slow, the way her hips slowly pulled out, not the full way, of course, then slowly pushing back in. the pace began to pick up after that and her thrust was a little more powerful. her eyes strained down on where you met, she couldn't help the groans that left her lips at your pitiful whimpers, the ones in which it awfully hard to stop herself from letting go completely.

but soon after she found you both comfortable. she did, in fact, let go.

she was soon enough slamming her hips against your own. it didn't take long, for her self control to be thrown right out of the window. she didn't stop her swift pace at anything. the room had a lingering smell of sex, there were beads of sweat on both your foreheads. "fuck, yeah, taking my dick so well." she grunted out, shoving her strap into your pussy further, allowing it to reach your g spot as you moaned out loudly.

your legs had soon found themselves wrapped around her waist, her hand on the bottom of your lower back as you found your own arms holding her shoulders close. she could feel your tits against her own, pushing up against her as she fucked you with everything she could, free had on your thigh, prodding and squishing at the loose fat while her strap pumped into your tight hole. you were a babbling mess, moaning and mewling, fast whimpers falling from your lips and all rather loud. but how could you fight it? when her 'dick' felt so good inside of you, when she pumped it so hard yet so delicately. you felt as though you were on fire, you were sure, there was no better feeling than this. you felt so good that you couldn't even form coherent sentences.

with your whines and mewls she only picked up her pace, strap bumping against her clit as she fucked you hard, practically fucking you right into the mattress. "you like my cock?" she panted out, heavy and quick. she took your mewl and went with it, a big smirk plastered onto her face. "fuck, yeah you like daddy's cock." and you couldn't even deny it, for it was very true.

there was a feeling building up in your stomach, one of which had you screaming. you knew exactly what it was, for you had felt it the same way you did beforehand, the very same feeling you felt when her fingers were buried into your tight hole. and ellie too, could feel her own stomach building up with tension. she glanced down, to where her strap disappeared inside your tiny hole, a creamy ring sitting at the base of where you connected. down to every girl she had ever fucked, this was undoubtedly the best. she had never felt so euphoric in her entire life.

your high pitched whine, attempt to babble out words, it alerted ellie just what who was coming. "i know, i know." shushing you like a baby as he held onto you as tight as she could, her knuckles turning a white colour instead of her naturally olive skin. she too let out more grunts than she could afford, barely able to keep her noises contained as she rammed her hips against yours. "come f'me, angel, come on daddy's cock." and that was it, once again you were falling apart like mush in her hands.

the sight of you, turning to putty in her very own arms, she couldn't help herself, she too felt herself letting go. she turned her hips into sloppy slaps against your body, lips chasing yours as she attempted to kiss you hard yet messily, you could barely kiss back, however you did your very best, wanting nothing more than to please ellie.

finally, she slipped her silicone strap outside of you, turning to lay on her side as she still held you in her arms. your own hands came up to grasp her strong bicep, tired and droopy eyes not bothering to so much as look up at her. you couldn't move, too dumb, too fucked out, you couldn't so much as utter a word. at that, ellie grinned a wide grin, knowing only two orgasms had you so fucked out and overstimulated, she felt pride booming in her chest for after all, she did that. "truth or dare, baby?" she joked causing you to roll your eyes.

with all the energy you could, you shoved her chest a little. "shut up." you mumbled before sticking your head right between her arms and her chest, allowing yourself to burrow.

main masterlist/ellie's masterlist

[sleepyangelkami]

Okay but imagine - Tommy and Maria have a daughter (reader obvs) and is shy and quiet while ellie is all outgoing n stuff eeeek they would make such a good couple

CRYBABY e.williams

☆ WORD COUNT - 7.6K

ELLIE WILLIAMS X FEM!READER

☆ SUMMARY - reader is tommy and maria's daughter and while she had always been on the shyer side, she can't help but fall into a loop upon becoming best friends with the ellie williams. and how on earth is she going to come to terms with the sudden feelings bubbling insider her when she finds ellie has begun to pay more attention to her 'fling' cat.

☆ warnings - mushy fluff, angry love confession, kissing, loser lesbians?, stupid grumpy x sunshine trope (my absolute fave), reader is kinda innocent, slight suggestive themes, angst if you squint, mentions of cat, reader is mentioned to be shorter than ellie, tinsy bit of tommy and maria slander? mentions of bullying, intended lower case, nothing i write is ever proof read 🩷

the princess of jackson. ellie williams could remember the day when she very first met her, the prized possession, the adored and loved. you.

of course, you were both only fourteen then. ellie williams stood with a small scowl on her face, standing parted from joel as he had a heated conversation with tommy, your father. she hadn't even noticed you, too caught up in her own feelings. she needed to get to the fireflies and quickly, she had no time to 'dilly dally' while waiting for tommy miller, she had decided he was nothing but a cowered, unwilling to help.

she only met the man, so naturally such an opinion hadn't stuck with her. but then, oh how she hated his stupid face. rolling her eyes over something stupid he had said, she turned her eyes to his wife, who was standing off near her, though completely engrossed in the conversation between the two older men. And then, her eyes landed on a pretty girl, standing in a woollen jumper that hung from her frame, covering her hands whole. you.

it was that moment, ellie realised, that she had fallen completely head over heels for y/n miller. she didn't know you then, you were just a child and a shy one at that. you stood practically clinging to your mother, hands fiddling with one another as you listened to your father raise his voice, nothing new, it was apparent that tommy miller had anger issues at times.

she merely stared, too embarrassed to so much as part her lips fully, simply turning her nose up. it wasn't until you turned your head that you noticed her impending stare. instantly, your face heated up like a match lit on fire. eyes widening slightly, you whipped your head back around, ignoring the way your hair now covered your face from her view but she could still... sense it, the way your face had turned beat red. if it were anyone else, she would have chuckled, threw her head back and laughed at whoever was embarrassed to make mere eye contact amiss an apocalypse. but she didn't laugh, didn't even smile. instead, her face softened into an expression you were still yet to decipher.

it didn't take long for you and ellie to meet again.

you didn't talk to her before she left, didn't even bid her a hello or a goodbye. she simply stared as you all but cowered behind your mother. your mother introduced you, however, knowing you weren't going to do it yourself. "this is y/n, y/n this is ellie." and you simply nodded as ellie wore a small smile, growing more impatient to leave the town as the seconds scraped by.

and you thought you had gotten away, weaved your way out of making a new friend, you always did hate it when maria pushed you. you were adored in jackson by all the elders, all the adults and yet if there was one thing you couldn't do, it was talk to people your age. let alone a pretty girl like ellie williams.

but when the girl reappeared soon after, your parents were just over the moon about a girl your age living so close, having such a close connection with your family as your uncle practically took her in. you could remember the first day you were told to talk to the girl, you remembered hating every single second of it.

you had to walk all the way from the main hall to her house, and for some reason the fourteen year old girl was given her own house, you weren't sure of, maybe a bad call by your father. nonetheless, you didn't think much of it, too focused on the angry mumbles tumbling from your lips as you puffed your cheeks out, reddened with the cold. you had to return a jacket, a jacket for god sake. you hadn't felt like it when tommy pulled you aside, shoving a green jacket in your hands and telling you to return it to the girl, stating she'd need it in the morning. you simply cringed, stating that your uncle could return it when he was passing home but of course, your parents would never give up a chance for you to communicate with teenagers your age, and so, they shoved you out the main hall door.

you cursed every star and constellation that she had managed to leave it behind. looking back, you weren't even sure why she had been in the hall in the first place. she did so many jobs for the town it was difficult for you to keep track. you almost grew envious of how everyone had come to adore the girl. it wasn't as if they had adored you any less, you simply envied the way she could keep the conversation flowing with the people of jackson, how she stood up tall and didn't have to glance down at her fingers every five seconds, attempting to come up with some form of a response. unlike you, that is.

puffing out another breath, you ignored the white smoke in front of you, painting an image that you had been smoking. it was almost humorous, the thought, y/n miller would have gone near no such thing. you brought a balled fist up, knocking on the door gently. almost instantly, you retracted it back to your side, chomping down on your bottom lip. you didn't know why you were so embarrassed but you could feel your face getting hot already and for the love of god it was the middle of winter in jackson.

you mentally cringed when no one answered the door, knowing you'd have to knock again. what if she had heard it and chose to neglect it? what if you came off much too annoying? what if she opened the door in the middle of knocking? what if she was in the bathroom? your thoughts were cut short by your own actions, knocking on the door once more only this time, not as softly. and when you received no answer this time, the door slowly creaked open.

eyes widening, you turned to look around as if casper the ghost would appear at any given moment. you slowly pushed the door open further, who leaves their front door unlocked in the middle of the night? you made a mental note to remind ellie to lock her doors, you know, if you ever actually gained the confidence to speak to her. swallowing harshly, you peeked your head in from the front door. "ellie?" your voice slightly raspy. "uhm, ellie!" attempting to project your voice just a little louder this time, of course failing in your attempts.

then your eyes caught it. her.

she was sitting at her desk, pen in hand and bushed brown ponytail sitting on her back. you took note of the earphones plugged into her ears. of course she hadn't heard you, you could practically hear her music blaring from where you stood all the way at her door. you had been near ellie at least a thousand times by now, she was always creeping close, her eyes always strained towards your face. you always pretended not to notice the way her eyes would stay fixated on you, the way you completely ignored her presence every single time. not on purpose, obviously, but you knew the minute you were pushed into her bubble, you'd find some way to absolutely humiliate yourself, you swore yourself against that, embarrassing yourself in front of ellie williams. and yet here you stood, awkwardly holding her jacket in your hands as you slowly entered the room. her house wasn't massive but it was very homely. shutting the door with your back facing it, you called out her name again in hopes of her somehow hearing you despite the loud music plugged into her ears.

you bit down on your bottom lip, moving closer to her. you reached your hand out, wincing knowing you were going to scare the girl however you truly did have no other choice. you softly patted her shoulder causing her to completely whip around.

you flinched as her book went tumbling to the ground, a yelp falling from her own lips as you took a step back, eyes screwed shut momentarily.

"y/n, jesus christ!" pressing a hand to her chest as she ripped the earphones out from her ears, heart thumping quickly.

despite no one scaring you, your own heart was thumping swiftly against your chest. "sorry, sorry!" instantly feeling guilt washing over you.

"you're okay." the girl chuckled, pushing the ear buds onto the table. "just scared me is all." puffing out a breath to show she was merely breathless from the scare.

"sorry, i didn't mean to." instantly falling to your knees to pick up the book that had fallen off the table. "your door was open and you had earphones on — i called your name but you didn't hear me- did you draw these?" suddenly, your breath caught in your throat, rambling being cut off as you peered down at the sketchbook in your hands, filled with mystical drawings. there was a dragon splayed across two pages along with gargoyles hiding at the corner of the pages, many other creatures you didn't even know the name to on the pages.

"uh- yeah." sitting back in her seat. her eyes were glued to yours, watching your face as your own eyes scanned across the page, face shifted into complete awe at her amazing art work. you stayed silent, eyes blown wide in complete shock. how could someone so young be so... talented?

raking your eyes over the drawing of the dragon once more, you tried to ignore how well the creature had been captured onto the single page, head tilting as you viewed such shading you thought only artists could do. "they're... amazing." breathing out as you looked back up, handing her the book as you suddenly realised you had been overstepping.

"thanks." she chuckled, taking the book out of your hands. with your eyes glued to the ground, you let her take it from your soft grasp. but when her fingers brushed against yours, you tried all that you could to not look up at her with pink flushed cheeks, simply ignoring it as it seemed she had. she placed the book back down on the table, turning in her chair to view you once more. "uhm... did you need something..?" she hadn't said it in a rude way but it was enough to send you back to reality.

"oh!" looking down at the green jacket in your hands. "uhm, maria and tommy said to give you this, you left it in the main hall." it was simply easier to call your parents by their first name in front of ellie, you didn't wish to embarrass yourself by calling them mama or daddy in front of her, it was beyond shameful so you simply stuck to their names, shooting your hand out to hand her the jacket.

"oh, thank you." grasping the jacket but this time her fingers never grazed yours. "probably gonna need this in the morning. last thing i need is to be going on patrol with no jacket." laughing softly at the very unfunny comment before tossing the jacket to the side.

your head perked up. "you're on patrol?" confused brows furrowing together.

"yeah." she squirmed in her seat. "why, something wrong with that?"

"no, no." you quickly defended, shaking your head. "it's just... you're a little young for that, no?"

she shrugged her shoulders. "nothin' i haven't seen before." you nodded your head at that, a little unsure but nonetheless, you were not one to interject. if she said she knew what she was doing, she probably did, after all she had spent more time on the road than anyone else in jackson. "hey, uh, the storm has gotten pretty bad out there." you turned your head in confusion, eyes peering out the window. she wasn't lying. snow now tumbled down outside at a much quicker pace than the small flakes that had fallen on you on your way there. "why don't you stay here for the night, probably too dangerous to walk back now anyway."

you turned your head back slowly, mind registering the words ellie had just spoken. you had never had a sleepover before, and you were sure that this wasn't a sleepover at all, but your mind couldn't help but jump in ecstasy. "uhm..." your parents wouldn't even notice, if anything, they'd be over the moon at the thought of their daughter spending time with someone her age. "are you sure you don't mind?" shuffling your feet against the wooden floor, hopping from foot to foot.

she almost laughed at you, blinking at you. " 'course not." as if you were being absurd. she stood from the seat, pushing herself towards her drawers. "you can wear some of my clothes for the night but they uh, might be a little big." she eyed you, noticing that you were shorter than her, not by a great amount but enough to make her clothes baggy on you.

"i don't mind." you smiled gently at the girl who was already grinning at you. "thank you, ellie." you weren't used to people your age being nice to you. usually, they were beyond rude which was more or less why you had put yourself in a shell. you knew you'd get nowhere in making friends so what was the point? your parents obviously thought very differently. so it was safe to say that ellie williams, a rather scary teenager, being quite kind to you was a rather foreign feeling, something inside you screaming at you, stating that she was playing some kind of a joke on you, it was a game, all a game. but the way her eyes softened when she looked at you had your knees weak and the wall you had built up slowly chipping.

she shrugged, tossing a long white shirt your way. "that's what friends are for."

you caught the t shirt. friends? the ellie williams wanted to be your friend?

that was the first sleepover of many. ellie williams was an exact opposite of you, that was the exact reason why you were the perfect match. everyone in jackson adored you as if you were their own daughter but despite that, you were rather reserved. you didn't have many friends your age, dina and jesse maybe, but you weren't close with them, not like you were with ellie. she was outgoing, bubbly, everyone adored her just as much, the only difference was that she was much more popular with the people your age. she had gone through so many girls it baffled you and now she was on the next, cat was her name, and ellie seemed infatuated by her.

but despite her going through her fair share of girls she always told you one thing, as corny as it was that you were 'her main girl' always and forever, you couldn't deny that the words had your cheeks heating up an embarrassing amount.

you were never good with people your age, not good at keeping conversations or starting them. you always had a problem with opening your mouth around them but with ellie, it was the exact opposite. she was so easy to talk to, a complete breath of fresh air in a world you never imagined yourself being happy in.

you did everything together, went everywhere together, you were practically attached to her hip by the time you were both nineteen. like now, as you stood with your hands on her shoulders in attempts to keep your balance. she was leaned down on one knee, the other propped up with your left foot placed on it, tying your shoelaces with ease. "should we check the east estate?" you questioned, fumbling with the fabric of your gloves. this wasn't a new thing, it seemed as though you always tracked around with your shoe laces untied, ellie constantly commented on it, stating that you'd someday fall and break your head open. you always rolled your eyes and called her dramatic until you actually fell over and then she'd bend down and tie them for you, despite your angry protests. today wasn't like no other, the white snow dusting across the knees of your jeans served as proof.

"jesse and dina did yesterday." she shrugged. you had been designated patrol partners upon the day of your very first patrol, you begged your parents to assign you together. they tried to get you out there, talking to other people and making new friends but after too many nights of you returning with tear stained cheeks, they decided that ellie was enough. her face suddenly contorted. "yeah we should probably check." patting the back of your calf to let you know you could bring your foot back down.

the boot on your foot crunched against the snow while you looked up at the girl as she stood, taller than you, she had grown a great deal since she was fourteen. "thought you said jesse and dina checked yesterday." following her in the snow, she knew the tracks much better than you did.

she gave you the smallest of smirks that you couldn't understand. you were so innocent, she thought, then again it was hard to be educated in a world alike their own. "they weren't doing anything except for getting in eachother's pants, sweetheart." that pretty nickname that always had your cheeks set aflame.

a mix between the pet name and the words that had fallen from her mouth as if it were nothing had your whole face a beat red. "oh." fell from your lips while the girl chuckled at you, fixing the straps of her backpack. you were thankful to be standing behind her now for you were sure that if she had been at eye level with you, she would have seen your flustered face and that was simply something you didn't need her seeing.

the east estate came into the clearing quicker than you thought, you had also finished much earlier than intended so there was nothing to do other than raid the nearby houses. "so..." you trailed off, attempting to make conversation from behind ellie, her gun in her hands as she peeked around a corner, nervous as your nonchalant figure stood behind her, gun hidden somewhere in your bag. you really were too clumsy for this job. "how are you and cat." the name rolling off in a way you didn't like, it made you almost disgusted in yourself.

"fine." she opened the last bathroom door, shoulders relaxing as she began rooting through the shelves. you made yourself busy in the bedroom that was attached to it, you couldn't imagine living in a house so big. "I told you we're not serious."

"wouldn't matter if you were." you mumbled so lowly that the girl didn't even hear it, she had just assumed that you dropped the subject altogether. the silence was swiftly cut off when you opened a box, finding a chess box inside. "oh my god!"

ellie came out from the bathroom swiftly, her gun clutched tightly between her fingers. you hadn't even noticed her demeanour slouching as she realised you were excited, not scared. "hey, weren't you lookin' for one of those?" nodding at the box of chess inside your hands.

"yeah, it's so cool!" it was a glass set, the one that you had in fact, been searching for. you adored chess, it was a way to ease the mind but you had never come across a glass set, as badly as you had wanted it. "wonder if the people who used to live here liked chess." you placed it down on the bed and moved around to the other side of the room, pulling open one of the drawers.

"what are you doin'?" leaning against the doorframe of the bathroom, you turned to her baffled, confused as to what you were doing wrong. "I mean, why aren't you packin' it?"

you shrugged your shoulders, glancing back at the set. "no room in my bag." and you were travelling on feet today meaning you didn't have your horse to carry an extra bag. your own bag had been filled to the brim with both food and some medical supplies along with your gun lost somewhere, you didn't have room for a stupid chess board. besides, you were sure that if your mother saw you bring it in through the gates she would wear a disapproving face and tell you that you shouldn't be looking out for things like that, you were out there to get stuff for the town, there was no need to be so selfish.

ellies brows were furrowed. "but you wanted it." as unfair as the situation was, you simply rolled your shoulders with a small laugh.

"doesn't matter." you stated, closing the drawers. "it's not that important anyway." ellie loved tommy and maria, truly, but she couldn't deny that they were more leader than they were parents at times. they often belittled you, stated that your interests didn't matter, that you were truly just a spec in the massive town but ellie knew they had to realise you were much more than a member of jackson, you were their daughter. "should we go back now?"

ellie took a glance out the window, it was beginning to get dark. "one more house, then we can go back." to which you nodded her head and exited the bedroom. the bedroom in the next home was an exact replica except for the different sheets and the wallpaper, along with the fact that the vanity was from a different store. this made you realise that the houses were probably already furnished before they were sold. "oh, look." ellie spoke as you looked up from the magazines you were flicking through. "cat loves cats, ironic." she laughed and stare down at the necklace in her hands, a black cat pendant on the silver chain.

you moved closer towards it, it truly was pretty. it reminded you of how ellie had given you a necklace once of a pink gem heart, you still wore it around your neck every day. you ignored the rising bile in your stomach and swallowed harshly, unsure if why you suddenly felt a little hot. "why don't you bring it back to her?" looking at it over ellie's shoulder. the sudden thought of ellie standing behind cat, clasping the back of the necklace together with a smile on her face caused your head to spin, and not in a way that you liked. you couldn't understand why you were feeling like this, perhaps it was because ellie williams was your best friend and the thought of her leaving, picking someone over you, was truly bone crushing. or perhaps it was because you never really had a best friend before and you didn't wish to loose the one you had made.

"nah." plopping it back down on the table. you furrowed your brows at her, if she knew that she would like it, why not gift it to her? when ellie turned, she noticed the confused look on your face. "I told you, it's not like that." and suddenly you were hyper aware of the necklace around your neck that she had gifted you, surely you weren't like that either. then again, it didn't really count because it was for your birthday and as your best friend, she probably just felt the need to buy something for you. maybe it was pity, maybe it was guilt, you just had to accept the fact that ellie williams in no way felt that way for you. then again you didn't either, right? so what was the big deal. perhaps you were just jealous that you thought your best friend had picked a new friend, you decided to ignore it, swallowing down the annoyed feeling. "you okay?"

you swallowed, pushing your feet around. "are we ready to go back?" dodging the question completely, it was easier to do this than lie, you didn't like to lie, especially to ellie. lying that you were okay was one thing but you knew ellie, she wouldn't leave it there, she'd make you promise and you don't break promises.

ellie knew better than to start something here, now, so she simply nodded her head, pursing her lips as she picked her bag up off the ground. "yeah, lets go." you nodded your own head, making sure to fix the straps of your bag before leaving the house you were in, ready to walk back to jackson with snow crunching beneath your feet.

the walk home was quiet, not an uncomfortable silence but instead one that hazily loomed over you both, one that you were well used to by now. "so..." kicking the snow underneath her feet, ellie cleared her throat. "your mom talk to you about that party tonight?" it was a gathering in the main hall, one with alcohol so naturally ellie's brain wired itself into believing it was a party, she had convinced herself and everyone around her.

you knew better than to contradict what she was saying and instead nodded your head. "mhm." humming. "you going?" you turned to face her, nose upturned. you were always forced into these events, whether you wished to be there or not. usually, the reasoning behind this was to 'get you out there' was what your parents told you, anyway, stating that you 'needed people in your life other than ellie' you begged to differ, ellie williams was enough for you.

"probably." kicking the snow underneath her feet, you could hear something in her bag rattling, you shrugged it off for cans hitting against one another or something hollow holding small continents that didn't take up enough space. "can't leave you all alone now, can I?" and despite the fact she spoke with a grin, you nodded your head, knowing that the only reason she was actually going was, in fact, to make sure that you weren't alone. "why're you so silent today?" though you had only begun your silent spell the minute the name 'cat' was uttered from the girls lips.

you shrugged your shoulders. "jus' tired." but you couldn't wear the image from your head. cat turned around as ellie tied the necklace to her neck from behind. cat wasn't a girly girl, though, unlike you, no, she never wore skirts, had little to no jewelry and was rather tough, you supposed that had nothing to do with being girly but everything to do with your insecurities. you were shy, small in tough situations, ellie was sort of a protector, you supposed you were insecure in knowing that ellie didn't have that weight on her shoulders when she was with cat, she didn't have to worry about 'taking care of her' not in the way she did with you, you couldn't deny the guilt that begun to sprout.

"y/n." ellie chuckled, slightly tugging on the bottom stand of your hair to get your attention, you pushed your head away, gazing up at her, you hadn't noticed the way your eyes ever so slightly had begun to gloss over. god, you thought, this was beyond embarrassing. or at least, it should have been. your face should have been red raw and you shouldn't have been able to form a coherent sentence, but it was ellie you were talking to, she knew you inside out, better than you knew yourself, there truly was nothing to be embarrassed about. "get out of your head." and she knew your overthinking like the back of her hand, she knew that once set off, you fell down a not too sweet rabit hole and despite the fact she had absolutely no idea what you were thinking about, she could tell that expression from anywhere, in desperate need of an escape, she provided you with one.

"sorry." you spoke lowly, eyes gazing down at the wet patches on the knee of your jeans, from when you had fallen in the snow beforehand.

"nothin' to be sorry for, angel." head turned upwards as the gates of jackson came into her view. "i'm gonna tell joel to come too, you think your mom and dad need anything?"

you assumed joel would be coming anyway, seeing as tommy was his brother, but you hadn't known for sure, joel wasn't exactly the most reliable man you'd ever met, despite the fact he was your uncle. "doubt it but you should tell him to ask daddy anyway."

you both entered the gates of jackson, smiling to jesse as he took your bag off your back without a word. "will do." ellie turned, a smile slowly curving up on her lips, but before you could bask in her angelic features, she was stumbling backwards, hands pushing out to hold herself and... cat up. cat had thrown her arms around her as if she were a long distant girlfriend, meeting her in an airport, ellie's own hands came down to her waist to stablize her, you suddenly felt the bile rise to your throat, you were going to be sick.

as your breathing turned shallow, your mouth dry and cold, you ignored the way your eyes suddenly stung and simply turned around, you couldn't face it, the sight of them had become too much. you could vaguely remember hearing your name being called from behind you, though you couldn't remember if it were jesse, ellie or even cat who had called it, one task at hand, getting home.

luckily for you, your house wasn't mere minutes from the gates so you arrived home rather briskly. the only downside to this, your eyes had become red rimmed and it had not yet wore off, your mother also stood inside the kitchen with a woman named donna, a lovely woman who was helping out with tonight's gathering. "hey sweet-" she cut herself off, noticing the small tears in your eyes. "what happened?"

you turned, embarrassment filling your face. "I- uhm, cut my knee really bad, gonna go up to the bathroom and clean it." you were a bad liar, a terrible one even but what else was there to say? you couldn't even decipher why you were sad yourself. you couldn't possibly be... jealous? could you? no. not a chance.

"show me a look." she almost demanded, voice still as soft as honey.

"no- no, it's okay." already halfway up the stairs as your concerned mother stood next to a confused donna. "it doesn't even hurt that bad, i'll be down soon." and without waiting for another word, you had pushed yourself right up the stairs and into the bathroom, locking the door.

for as long as you could remember, your bathroom had been a solitude for you, a safe haven. sure, your bedroom had a lock but it wasn't used unless emergencies so you knew better than to use it every time you were upset, which proved to be often as you grew up and realised just how utterly sensitive you were. you sat on the bathroom floor, breathing irregular but you squeezed your eyes shut, pushing your head onto your knees and wondered, what was all of this even from? surely, you weren't that upset just because you thought you weren't ellie's favourite anymore.

whatever the case, all you knew was that the tears didn't stop until later that night when you sat in front of your vanity, applying little blotches of make up.

you weren't typically a make up girl but you knew you had to do something to get rid of these stupid tear stains on your cheeks. finally, you had fixed your face enough to know that no one, not even ellie williams herself, would be able to spot how hard you cried that morning. then, you slipped on your dress that your mother had picked out for you.

(the dress bc i want you guys to be able to see the idea i had with this)

and in less than a half hour, you stood inside the main hall, a bowl of treats in your hands as you went around to the younger ones, passing them out, also passing them out to the adults who stared a little too long, making their longing and shame both very apparent. you didn't mind however, smiling sweetly before offering them one to which they greedily dug in.

you spoke to a lot of people that night, stopped to conversate with some that you wouldn't have if you were under different circumstances. you could feel eyes piercing into you, the ones belonging to giddy teenagers who, for some reason, found enjoyment in what you could only guess was talking about you. you didn't much care for the teenagers of jackson, sure, you adored ellie williams with your whole heart and you found comfort in dina and jesse, an on and off couple from the minute you met them but other than that, you didn't really have friends. they made you feel different, a kind of different that made you question if there were something wrong with you, there had to be, if so many people truly could not get along with you. you talked to the elderlies, to the adults, even to the kids, but the teenagers... the teenagers you steered clear of.

you spoke to dina and jesse earlier that night, however, they had run off the minute the alcohol that they shouldn't have been drinking hit their system and suddenly they had disappeared into thin air. your eyes searched the room as you bit on your thumb, well aware of the teenage laughter behind you, aimed directly at you.

where was ellie? it was approaching eleven o clock, some people had headed home, the couples too lazy to wait any longer, the parents who's kids needed their rest, some of the elderlies who needed sleep just as much as the kids. ellie said she'd be here, the thought of her missing it because she and cat had some sort of run in made your stomach sick and yet it was the only thing you could think of, it had to be the only excuse. i mean, cat was no where to be spotted either.

you sat at one of the tables, chin resting in the palm of your hand, your shoes had begun to get uncomfortable and your hair seemed too tight, you were sure a little mascara had smudged beneath your eyes too, despite the many times you rubbed it away with your finger. ellie wasn't one to not stick to what she told you, she wasn't one to stand you up either. but you knew how it was, cat was hers and she was cats despite the many times she told you they weren't, you knew that, so why were you disappointed to think she chose her over you?

the thought of ellie hugging her tight, kissing her lips, even down her neck, you could feel your stomach turning. you wanted nothing more than to get the image out of your head. to your luck, or maybe not, you were brought back to life with a tap on your shoulder. "y/n, hey!" that was a voice you recognised all too well, your stomach turned even more than it already had. was there anything that was going good for you that night?

you turned around, standing up as if you were nervous to be in the girls presence, she giggled at this. "hi, kady." kady was a pretty girl, one that was beyond popular, for reasons you were still unsure about. sure, she was pretty, she had a large circle of friends but to this day you couldn't decipher why people liked her. she was a cruel teenage girl, one who invalidated others to make her own head bigger than it already was, truly, it was a surprise to you that she could even fit in the door.

upon the years that you grew up in jackson, kady had always treated you as though you were someone below her. and maybe you were, you had grown used to the way she acted around you, her unacceptable behaviour towards you had grown seemingly acceptable, simply because you wouldn't stand up for yourself. "having fun by yourself?" she had a grin on her face, one that would have looked polite and sweet but truly was nothing other than conceited. "oh gosh, i don't mean it like that." quick to correct herself noticing the way your face had fallen. "I just mean... you know, i thought ellie would spare some time away from cat for the evening but i guess not."

you simply shrugged your shoulders, not wishing to buy into this any longer. "she's probably just busy." mumbling. you always felt yourself become smaller around kady, as if you were truly a child once more and she was picking on you once more, causing you to go running home to your mother with dewey eyes, they brushed it off with you being too sensitive.

"probably with cat, if you know what i mean." wriggling her brows at you suggestively, you simply bit your lip and turned away. "i was kinda surprised when they got together, i always thought you guys would get together."

your head snapped towards her at that statement. "what?" suddenly your breath grew short. "why would you think that?" you had a secret, one no one could know, not even the pages of your diary, one you had begun to accept that very morning, now, however, you wished nothing more than to flush it down the drain.

"come on, y/n, we're not blind." rolling her eyes as she crossed her arms over her black tank top. "you follow her around like a lost puppy, it's pathetic." your gut twisted, her words forming a knot in your stomach. "i mean, it's probably for the best she's with cat, i don't think anyone would be able to stick a relationship with you."

you looked up, ignoring the way your eyes annoyingly began to sting. you hated how sensitive you were, you were a crybaby, an annoying, pathetic crybaby. "kady can you just... leave me alone." your voice broke, as did your heart, shattering right on the floor in that very second.

"god, do you hear yourself?" she was laughing, as if any of this was truly funny. "face it, y/n, you're never going to be anything other than the irritating little girl you were as a kid, you're never going to change, you're never going to get someone like ellie williams to love someone like you." what did that even mean? your mind spun, your head felt queasy, your eyes hazy.

you didn't say anything else, you weren't going to entertain it, you pushed past a laughing kady, practically throwing her head back at the state you were in now.

you pushed past everyone else, ignoring the strange looks you got at the sight of your tear stained cheeks, ignoring the way your throat begun to hurt an abnormal amount. only one thing in your mind.

"you're never going to get someone like ellie williams to love someone like you."

it rung through your mind causing your whole body to shift, you wanted to go home, get to bed and cry. you wanted to cry your heart out and ignore ellie williams for eternity. why? because you knew that you had already fallen deeply in love with her and there wasn't even the slightest possibility she felt some way remotely alike that to you. you blamed yourself, not her, but that didn't mean you could ever face her again.

just as you though the night couldn't possibly get any worse, already drowned in the heavy rain pattering against your skin, fat tears rolling down your cheeks. you walked directly into something, or more specifically, someone. arms instantly reached out, stabilizing you both. you turned your nose up, just about to apologise for your rudeness before you caught sight of who it was. "y/n, what-" you cut the brunette girl off before she could speak anymore.

"where were you?!" your hands pushed her back and ellie stumbled backwards, stunned at your actions with wide eyes and mouth fallen agape. "you told me you'd be there and you weren't! you told me you would!" she couldn't understand why you were so mad and why your face had been covered in mascara and ugly fat tears that clouded your pretty eyes.

"y/n, i'm sorry i didn't think it would be a big deal-" attempting to walk closer to you once more. "I was with cat and-"

"of course you were!" taking your own steps back, ellie's brows furrowed in confusion. "you're always with s-stupid cat!"

ellie couldn't understand where all of this was coming from, she thought you liked cat for you had gushed over how sweet she was a number of times before she and ellie were ever even a thing. "y/n, i'm sorry!" she pushed herself towards you but before you could get away, her hands were falling on your forearms. "i should have been there, i know, i'm sorry, i messed up."

you shook your head, ignoring the way your tears had mixed with the heavy rain pattering against your frail skin. "y-you picked her." your words just above a whisper and due to the heavy rain, ellie had hardly heard you.

"what?" sudden confusion washing over her. ellie was a girl of her word but it wasn't rare for her to not show up to things, she always apologised profusely and did everything in her power to make it up to you, what was rare, however, was this reaction sprouted from you.

you turned your head, sighing heavily and squeezing your eyes shut, you wanted to be at home, in bed. "it doesn't matter." hands moving to wipe your face, ignoring the way ellie's own hands fell from your arms, causing instant warmth to be retracted. "i'm sorry, i'm sorry." suddenly, you felt as though it were all your fault.

ellie was your best friend, albeit, just a friend. she owed you nothing. and you had no place to be this angry with her for being with someone when you were nothing. "what- no, no, why are you sorry?" you shook your head once more, taking a step back. she wasn't having it. she was in front of you again in an instant, her hands coming down to take in your face.

silence washed over you both, the only sound to be heard was the constant patter of rain against the ground beneath you and your breaths that had grown slightly heavier now that you were so close. her warm hands completely contradicted your freezing face, a beautiful contrast as they slowly caressed your pretty skin. "talk to me, angel." her words a soft lull. "don't shut me out."

your mind was racing as ellie williams stood exactly where you wanted her, where you needed her. but would you risk everything you've ever created with her for something she may not even have thought about before? no, you told yourself, you couldn't. but the louder, the stronger, part of yourself screamed at you to. "i can't say it." you opted for, mouth scrunching in distaste as your voice wobbled like a child. an absolute crybaby.

ellie shook her head, auburn locks shaking with it. "yes you can, baby." thumbs moving against your skin. "say the words and i'll make the sentences if i have to just... say something." and the way her own voice cracked, the way her desperate walls began to fall down, suddenly, you wondered if she already knew. she had to have. did she think the same way you did? had she already had this conversation a thousand times in her head like you did? did she imagine this very scenario a million times over just alike you did?

suddenly, your head felt light.

suddenly, your breath slowed.

suddenly, your thoughts fell right out of your mind.

suddenly, her lips looked so sweet.

suddenly, your own her on hers.

you pushed your head upwards, your lips crashing into her own. her hands instantly fell to your waist, holding you. your own hands were brought up, sure the cloth of your sleeves were still stuck to your hands but you didn't care, for you would have much rathered to hold her face no matter the situation. slowly, the tears vanished as your lips moved against her own, you melted into her, in a way that you had never melted before, you were a puddle. ellie took over in an instant, her face pushed against yours, lips moving hasitly as if she was scared you'd disappear.

however, you eventually pulled away for air, your lungs squeezed together as you panted against her lips, one hand holding her cheek, the other at the back of her neck. you looked up at her with your pretty doe eyes, a smile soon formed on her lips as they curved upwards. "just so you know." she panted, too out of breath. "i'd choose you." lips pushing against yours for a gentle peck. "a million times over."

that night was filled with a thousand more kisses and a gift from ellie, surprisingly enough. a certain glass chess set sitting a top her bed as she grinned at you. it was like that. not with cat but with you.

main masterlist/ellie's masterlist

[sleepyangelkami]

COLD HANDS e.williams

 ☆ WORD COUNT - 2K

ELLIE WILLIAMS X FEM!READER

 ☆ SUMMARY - a drabble of the wintery christmas' spent with you and your girlfriend, ellie williams, in jackson.

 ☆ WARNINGS - none, pure fluff :) (that felt weird to say) petnames, intended lower case, nothing i write is ever proofread 🩷

"for god sake, angel." ellie tutted as she cupped your hands in hers, ignoring the light tone she used with her almost harsh words. "what have i told you about wearing your gloves?"

you smiled, a ditzy, dumb smile at her as you tilted your head. she rolled her eyes and yet her lips curved up. it was hard not to grin at you when you smiled at her like that. but you couldn't help it either, she was so sweet when she fussed over you, it made your heart melt and your knees almost give out.

it was mid-december and jackson was covered in snow and frost. you adored winter and everything about it. even when it was just rain, no snow, you couldn't help but absolutely adore cuddling up in front of the fire with your lover, making hot coco that you had found on a run and using one of the old dvd players to watch some sappy christmas movie that again you and ellie went scowering for on a run.

you remembered blissfully, the very first one you had found.

it was merely approaching november, but you were a christmas finatic so naturally, you were already humming little christmas jingles that joel had showed you and ellie on the guitar. you dreamed of a normal christmas, without the apocalypse, with a santa clause and elves, with everyone dressed in red and green with little santa hats on their heads. you dreamed of putting up a christmas tree that you had bought, then again, you did adore the pine trees tommy and joel always found for the community of jackson, just as you adored putting it up with ellie in your shared living room.

upon seeing everyone elses christmas trees, you realised you and ellie had sort of failed the task. everyone chose set colours, whether it be red, or silver, maybe even black and gold whereas yours and ellie's tree was covered from head to toe in many different coloured baubles, green, purple, pink, red, yellow, you name it, it was stuck on the tree. along with the beeds and tinsel you had both found together, wrapping it all nicely. and of course, ellie always lifted you to put the star on the tree because she adored your excited giggle just as much as you adored christmas.

while you didn't have a santa clause, you still heard stories of the old saint nicholas from joel miller. sure, you knew he wasn't real in the real world anyway, but the thought of parents struggling to pretend to be a make-believe man in the sky just so they could see the happy smiles on their childrens faces, it was beyond admirable, the thought too made your heart swoon.

ellie never understood your fixation with the big fat man who fell down chimney's, but she always shared stories with you on what her friends used to tell her when she was younger, the older people of the boston quarantine zone would tell her all kinds of folklore and fairytails of the man, so of course she just had to share them with you too.

you were both on patrol, searching the area when you came across an old dvd store, so, of course, you both dived in as fast as you could. you were always one for movies. "careful." ellie muttered, lifting a large branch out of your way so you could enter the run down building. it looked desperate from the outside, as though it was merely remains of what a dvd store used to be. but upon entering, you and ellie both realised that the only damage was to the outside, for the inside was... ethereal, unlike anything you had ever seen before.

it was massive, so large that when you glanced up, you almost felt queasy of how high the building was. your eyes as big as saucers, your mouth hanging open, ellie just had to chuckle at your face. but you paid no mind, turning to grasp her hand. "c'mon, let's look!" tugging her along as she shook her head, still chuckling.

"okay, baby, just calm down." though, she knew you would indefinitely not calm down any time soon, and she didn't really want you to, for that pretty look on your face was enough to make her own heart melt, eyes boring into your face, gazing at you with eyes filled with so much love and acclamation, she truly wished to spend a million more days, a thousand more christmas', she wished to spend the rest of her future with you and she would. one day, she'd ask the question, one day. but you were both still young then, as you were now. so she'd wait, because she knew you would too.

it didn't take long for you both to become engrosed in the dvd's, flicking through as many as you could find. you had a pile, ones in which you would bring home today. of course, the dvd store was beyond huge, you surely wouldn't look through everything within a month, let alone a day. "oh my god!" ellie turned, brows knitted together at your loud yell. "look, ellie, look!" shoving a dvd in her face.

"what is it?" she laughed at you, taking it into her hands so she could push it down, away from her face and gaze at the cover. the title read 'the muppet christmas carol.' you and ellie had watched a number of the muppets, never had you thought there was a christmas version. the cover showed a picture of cermet the frog, another little frog sitting on his shoulder and standing next to them was miss piggy along with gonzo, swinging from a pole, all covered in snow.

she lowered the dvd to see your face, big bright eyes staring up at her. "Isn't it amazing!" you were over the moon. "can we watch it tonight?!"

ellie chuckled once more, hand reaching out to tuck some hair behind your ear, she loved when you were excited, so much so that it made her beyond dumb. "of course we can." she'd just about agree to anything you asked. pressing a chaste kiss to the top of your head, watching as your face heated up in a pink blush. "now c'mon, we need to get back before maria thinks we're doing something else." wriggling her brows. that didn't just make you go pink, you went an insane red colour.

and that very suddenly became you and ellie's 'thing.' you'd constantly be looking for dvd stores on your patrols, always circling back to that one, taking a dig at boxes upon boxes. sure, you were both looking for any kind of dvd, but you knew it had been a good day when you found a christmas dvd. and very suddenly, your supply closet was overflowing with boxes.

however, not all days of december were filled with such joy.

"you need to listen to me more often." the girl stated as she kicked the front door closed, dropping her bags so she could cup your hands again, rubbing her own off yours so she could heat them up with friction.

"you need to listen to me more often." the girl stated as she kicked the front door closed, dropping her bags so she could cup your hands again, rubbing her own off yours so she could heat them up with friction.

"i do listen to you." you claimed and ellie couldn't help but purse her lips for she knew you did listen to her but sometimes that warm and fuzzy feeling inside of you when she told you what to do simply got too much for you to handle and you found yourself listening but not listening. "jus forgot."

a blanket of snow had fallen upon jackson at this time of year, so the cold nipped just a little harder, and the sicknesses bit a little rougher. she knew how prone you were to sicknesses, just as you were to accidents due to you being just so clumsy. she told you this morning to wear gloves and yet you left your gloves, hat and scarf at home, the only thing you actually showed up to the stables with that would help was a long jacket. she kept one enlarged hand over your two small ones, the other coming up to tuck hair behind your ear, thumb tracing the line of your jaw. she loved you but oh, how you'd be the death of her. "you go upstairs and get on some fluffy pijama's okay, i'm gonna light the fire 'n i'll be right up, alright?"

"okay, ellie." big grin on your face as you reached your face up, pressing a kiss to her soft lips. it wasn't a long sensual one, a small peck and yet so much passion was pushed into the little way your lips pressed against her own. her hand smacked your bum on your way causing you to turn and playfully glare, hands coming to cover your behind as you made your way up the stairs, ellie could only laugh.

the girl knew you took downright forever to get ready so she didn't have a care in the world as she found herself placing sticks into the fire, loading it up with coal and so on. by the time she was finished, you still weren't down so she made her way up to the shared bedroom of yours. she could hear you getting dressed in the bathroom, so while you were busy, she too decided to get into comfortable clothes. a grey baggy-ish sweatpants along with a white long tee, sort of tight but loose enough. she rolled her eyes with a smirk when you still were not ready. no matter how many times she told you hurry, you never did, always getting distracted by the little things, whether it be the little droplets of condensation on the mirror, or tying something on your top. your thoughts ran too fast, you'd get distracted, fail at tying it. stop, try again, think too fast, fail, stop, try again and again and again until finally, you yelled ellie's name and asked for her help. but she never got mad at you, on the contrary, she simply smiled and laughed while you stared up at her with big puppy eyes.

you found yourself ready soon after ellie headed back downstairs. you were in, as told, a fluffy pijamas. tommy miller had gifted it to you one chirstmas, it was a grey pijamas with three polar bears sitting on the front of the jumper. you loved the clothing dearly, always slipping it on in december, you loved the feeling of being cozy in the cold. it was one of the many reasons why you'd pick winter over summer over and over again until your last breath.

when you came down from the stairs, you spotted ellie sitting in front of the dvd player, between the now lighting fire and the coffee table in which two mugs of hot coco was sitting upon. you couldn't help the way your face lit up, that massive grin on your face as your eyes began to crinkle. the girl turned around, controller in her hand as she too matched your smile. "took your time." she joked, a soft look etched to her face. "can you grab the blanket, baby?"

you nodded your head, muttering a small 'okay' before making your way towards the couch and picking up the checkered brown and green blanket that reminded you of how close christmas was.

it didn't take long for the movie to start. ellie decided on the muppets christmas carol again, just as she always had, stating it was her favourite. you too loved it, so who were you to deny? ellie wrapped the blanket around her back, sitting up against the lit fire as you sat between her legs, your back to her stomach as her arms enveloped you, wrapping the blanket around you too.

the feeling made you drousy, the room was supposed to be dark, however, the lit fire, the tv playing the movie and the little christmas lights that danced on the trees made it hard not to alluminate the entire room. however, with your head falling on ellie's shoulder from behind, the taste of hot chocolate in your mouth and the feeling of her arms, enveloping you as if you were a baby.

well, you couldn't help the way your eyes began to close, your lips pushed together into a pretty pout as you slowly succumbed to sleep in the embrace of your lover.

main masterlist/ellie's masterlist

[sleepyangelkami]

PASTORS DAUGHTER e.williams

main masterlist/ellie's masterlist

PART I ellie williams had always been best friends with the pastors daughter, the rebel who went against every single thing her mother and father told her to. Ellie knew this, she was used to this. However, what she wasn't used to, what she seemed to never understand was her little sister. She never crossed a line, adored anything and everything thrown in her clutch, never made her mother or father frown and wore a pretty silver cross around her neck. ellie williams wanted nothing more than to rip it off and have the pasters daughter whimpering beneath her. she didn't know a little lust could create this mess.

PART II ellie williams can't seem to stay away from the pastors daughter and a certain memory is engraved in both their minds. the only problem was, while one was all but drunk off the past image, the other was doing everything in her power to wash it away. luckily for them, one was much more intent on getting what they wanted than the other, so much so that it sufficed for them both.

PART III you have a secret, one only few people could know, what would happen if the preacher found out that his daughter was dating such a dilinquent, or more importantly a girl. ellie williams doesn't hesitate to jump in when she finds you and your parents in your bedroom after your sister let your secret out. some smut at the end because you're all waiting for it.

DRABBLE ellie, joel and reader all have dinner and a movie night, it was a tradition by now. ellie's a sore loser but she's also a bit of a softball when it came to you and joel did not stop to think before teasing her. in the end, she gives up her pride of losing for you to get a good night sleep (p.s i think that means she likes you)

[sleepyangelkami]

UNWANTED AFFINITY e.williams

☆ WORD COUNT - 3.4K

ELLIE WILLIAMS X FEM!READER

☆ SUMMARY - after an absolute roller coaster with ellie williams, the girl you had grown to love, you realise that she has never been and never will be yours the way you were hers for her heart will always belong to another, the one before.

☆ WARNINGS - angst/no comfort, unhappy ending, toxic!ellie, toxic!ex!cat, attatchment issues, arguing, fighting, reader is very passive, ellie is an asshole, toxic relationship (if you're experiencing this, please have more respect for yourself and leave), mention of alcohol consumption, intended lower case, nothing i write is ever proofread 🩷

as you stood before her, gazing into those pretty green eyes you had grown to adore, you realised that they turned a cold shade of ivory, one that you never wished to see again, for the first time, you didn't want her here, you wanted her gone. sooner rather than later. "i don't get it." voice wobbly, eyes filled with tears as you stared at her, arms crossed over your chest. you had sniffed multiple times that night but you really didn't want to cry in front of her, making yourself look more stupid than you already had.

she stared forward at you, her own guilt and pity caught in her eyes. you mistook it for her caring about you, you shook those thoughts instantly for the hard truth was that ellie williams would never love you the way you adored her. "don't cry." her voice a soothing lull, one you had heard so many times before.

you sat in bed with teary eyes, everything was just too much. your mother was too much, your school work was too much, processing people's death was too much and now ellie williams and her ex girlfriend was too much. you stared forward at the screen, them together, smiling and laughing on a video. you didn't even feel self pity, you just felt stupid. how had you not seen it before? the way that they looked at one another. of course they were still in love.

"what's wrong?" and to make matters worse, she had just entered the room. you sat up, instantly rubbing your eyes as you flicked off your phone, shoving it beneath your pillow as she set the glass of water on your night stand. she took care of you like no other. when you didn't answer her, her hand came down to sooth your arm. "are you mad at me?"

"no." you shook your head instantly. you didn't want to be angry with her, none of this was her fault after all and besides she was here now, with you and not cat, she was doing everything in her power to make you feel better, how could you be angry with her?

her eyes searched your own, you wished you could fall into them, you wished that her embrace would engulf you and you wished you could stay there. forever. "then whats wrong?" she wanted to help, it appeared, and you trusted her. but suddenly, you felt stupid.

this wasn't her fault, none of it was, you were sitting in bed and wallowing in on yourself, you were blaming her and that wasn't fair. you sniffed, sleeves rubbing at your eyes. "everythings just... a lot." giving her a small smile to show that you were okay, even if you truly weren't.

"that's okay, it's okay to be overwhelmed." her arms pulled you in, pushing your head on her chest. instantly, your arms wrapped around her torso, wet tears falling onto her clothes. the way she comforted you could relate to no other, it felt like your world was crumbling and for the first time in your life, someone was here to help you collect the dusted particles. "do you want to talk about it?" her voice in that very same soothing lull, there was something about the way her eyes softened and the way she spoke, voice full of gentleness. you felt safe. you felt as though you could trust her.

you really didn't wish to make her think as though you were mad. you felt guilt course through your veins, you shouldn't have worried so much about the girl, after all, she was here, comforting you, there was no reason to think anything of the way her and cat acted around one another. after all, they were friends, you knew this. they went out for two years, of course they still love one another, it takes a lot to step away from someone you love, you just hoped that they would never be in love again. "not really." voice shaking, full of guilt. you had made her worry all for nothing, it was your fault truly.

"okay." pressing a kiss to the top of your pretty head, noticing the way your face turned beat red. you weren't her girlfriend but she knew how much you adored her, and at that time, it seemed as though she felt the same way. "but just know that i'm gonna be right here when you do."

"it's a little late for that." you spoke, voice cold as you briskly wiped away your own pathetic little tears. she didn't say anything, staring at you as if her own heart chipped away alike yours did. no, you had to stop yourself from feeling bad, she surely didn't. "so you love her?" your voice breaking like a child.

she was quick to shake her head. "no, no i don't." you didn't know if you believed her, after all, it wouldn't be the first time she lied to your face. "I just..." she sighed, running a hand down her face as she took a seat on your kitchen chair. she looked at you, a thousand words in her mind, none uttered. "i was with her for two years, y/n." she never called you that. "she was the one girl i loved, the one girl i could be myself around." you ignored the way your heart shattered into a million little pieces. "I'm just attached to her."

you understood that, god how you truly did. after all, you were attached to her. you had fallen for ellie williams briskly, it surely did not take long to trap yourself into her charm, to fall for her funny persona and the way she could be both comforting and know how to make you laugh all at once. she was the one girl that you could be yourself around, she was the one girl that you could love.

"but i don't get it." voice wobbling once more, you turned your head and fiddled with your fingers. you wanted answers, you wanted them so bad but you were so bad at asking, you couldn't talk, it felt as though your voice had caught in your throat. "why would you tell me you liked me if you didn't." you remembered the day she told you that she liked you so vividly for you'd never forget the way your heart swooned cheerfully, a way that it never had before.

"will you kiss me?" she slurred drunkenly, you had to giggle at her state though you knew she shouldn't be drinking, let alone at this age. if your parents were home, they'd kill you both. "c'mon, please just one kiss." her eyes looking down at you with little specs in them. you could see her spark and you were sure she could see your own, the way you practically lit up at the sight of her.

you had to entertain her, too amused to stop. "maybe if you're good, i'll give you one later." laughing as she took a seat at your counter while you turned around to pour her a glass of water. when you poured the glass, you turned, sitting opposite of the counter and placing it down on the marble. "why do you want a kiss so bad?"

she stared up at you, hand moving around the glass. she looked down once more then back up at your face, you simply looked at her in confusion, trying to guess what it was she wanted to say. "I like you, y/n." you ignored the way your heart beat swiftly against your ribcage. ellie wasn't necessarily good with her words, you knew that which is why she never said anything before but you didn't think she truly liked you, surely it had all been one sided, maybe it was the drink talking, you weren't sure.

"what?" you had to hear it again, even if it were just a whisper. it felt as though your entire world stopped. you didn't even give yourself time to smile at her, thoughts too wrapped up in the moment.

"look i know- i know i've been an asshole lately." that was the understatement of the year. you two had gone through a rough patch lately, ellie had been with her ex girlfriend a lot more than usual, this caused constant arguments between you both. "i'm sorry." she didn't say those words often. "I really am sorry. and i'm not good with the whole feelings shit." she was closed off, reserved as she pulled a hand down her face, tugging at her own features. "but i like you, i really do like you and i'm telling you that now. don't ever doubt it."

you stared at her with admiration. you knew ellie williams was not the type of girl to talk about her feelings, those words uttered from her lips could do nothing more than soothe your every last worry. you believed her because a part of you wanted to so badly that you would have done anything, you hoped she was being truthful. you prayed on every last star that she was.

"i do like you!" she took a step forward, wanting nothing more than to reach out to you, to hold you. but the way you stood at the door with your arms around your chest, closed off from her. it was something she had never seen before. usually, you'd accept her with open arms, you'd do just about anything to be close to her. now, you'd do anything to get her out of your house and your face and never return. "but y/n, you're too good for me, you're too perfect."

you scoffed, turning your head. she had to think you were stupid, honestly, to think that the reason she wouldn't be with you was because she liked you too much, it didn't even make sense. "so it's not me it's you, right?" you scoffed in sarcasm, shaking your head at her as your eyes filled with tears again, fresh fat tears rolling down your face, you felt utterly stupid.

"yes!" exasperated as she tugged at her own hair. "yes, listen as fucking cliche as it sounds, it is me, not you." she stared at you, waiting for some form of a response but you stayed quiet, eyes fixated on the ground and suddenly you found the wooden floor boards to be more interesting than anything you've ever seen before. "i'm too attached to cat, i can't be with you because you're so sweet and beautiful and fucking genuine, i'll only hurt you."

"don't say that." this time you shook your head and actually looked at her, gave her that desperate look that made her absolutely weak to her knees. seeing you cry, it shattered her heart completely but knowing you were crying because of her? she knew it was enough to kill her. "don't say that because you know me and you know how i feel about you." blinking to stop the tears from flowing faster, god, you hated how you cried like that. "you know damn well that i'd move in front of on going traffic if it meant i could be with you so don't- don't give me that bullshit." you didn't swear, ellie knew that, she loved that, as funny as it seemed, she found it rather cute but she wasn't mad that you were swearing, no, she just felt guilt swarming in her veins.

the conversation seemed all too familiar.

you stared up at her, big dopey eyes as you suddenly felt insecure. "don't say that." you all but begged, moving away from her. "don't say that because you know me and you know how i feel about you." the exact same words uttered from your lips.

"baby, i do want you." she spoke, her fingers hooking beneath your chin to make you look at her, the sight of her eyes boring into your own, well, it was safe to say that you almost fell over.

"ellie." you tried to reason, brows tilting at her. "you know damn well that you could be with any girl you want." and that was true, all she had to do was say the word and girls would be falling at her feet i mean it was ellie fucking williams, the most popular girl in seemingly the world, every girl wanted a chance with her, even the girls that didn't like other girls like that. "so don't say you want me when you don't."

it was your insecurities talking, eating away at you hopelessly as you prayed on any god to shut up the voices in your head. but ellie never judged you for that. on the contrary, she understood, she helped. that was something you could never ask of someone, to actually understand where you were coming from but you didn't have to ask with ellie williams, she just did, and it seemed as though sometimes the only thing that could shut the voices out was her own, making you feel so comforted, so soothed to the point where nothing else remained.

"i don't care who i could have, angel." she looked down at you as if you were her pride and joy, as if you truly were an angel. you wonder now how that could have been a lie, how all of this truly could have meant nothing to her. "i don't want any of them. i want you." and that sentence was enough to allow your heart to belong to ellie once and for all. she knew that, the fact that she did and still continued truly pained your heart, shattered it completely, in fact.

"i don't get you." you sniffed. you truly tried to understand her, every single time you fought, every time she shut you out, every time she took you back in with no explanation. you tried and tried until you were too tired of trying to just understand where she was coming from. she was a good person deep down, you knew that, so why would she purposely hurt you? you didn't know. but you were sick of trying to understand where she was coming from, sick of trying to understand her reasoning and excuses when god knew she never did the same for you.

"no one does." you squeezed your eyes shut, turning your head. you were sick of trying to listen to her own self pitying words as she pushed the blame off herself yet again. you told her you'd wait for her, promised her even, then again you were sure promises meant nothing now as she had broken her own, her promise to you that it would be you and her in the end, that you truly were her endgame. she even promised to marry you one day.

you sighed, letting out a shaky breath as you turned to her. "are you gonna get back together with her?" voice cracking as you remembered everything you done to try and keep them apart, what was the point when they just kept going back? like magnets drawn to one another.

"i'd like to think that i have the self respect not to." because the last time they were together, cat cheated, why on earth would ellie wish to go back to someone after that, you couldn't understand. "but i don't know what the future holds, y/n, we both don't." so it would be you or her, you didn't seem to care to think about it anymore because you were sure the more you thought about it, the more your name was shoved out the window.

your expression never dropped, that cold, emotionless one, the one in which only showed you were still here by the tears that helplessly rolled down your face. your sleeve covered hand came up to briskly wipe them away. "ellie tell me the truth, no bullshit." she nodded her head, ready for you to ask away. "do you still love her? please just be honest with me because ellie i can't take the lies anymore, i really can't."

she stayed silent for a moment, contemplating. she owed you this, the truth. well, she owed you much more than that but this was as good as it was going to get. "i do." and at that very moment, your world stilled and went completely dead silent, your heart shattered into a thousand pieces, this time you were sure no one else could pick up the pieces, you were already gone. "i've seen her, known her in a thousand ways and i've loved her in all of them. i keep trying to pretend i don't but the fact that we always find our way back to eachother, y/n you have to understand that it's not just me doing this, it's like the universe wants us together."

yeah. a sign from the universe, definitely and completely. you scoffed underneath your breath, what was she? nine? "yeah." you pushed out in a short wheeze, one that didn't even sound like it came from you, so low it seemed as though it was never even uttered.

"you're great, though." looking at you as she bit her lip guiltily. you forced yourself not to roll your eyes and scoff again. great. but not enough. not great enough to stay. not great enough to be more than cat ever will be, even if she breaks ellie's heart the way ellie breaks yours a thousand times over.

you wanted to yell at her, to scream at her but you did nothing over than hold your hands together and bite your tongue because as ruthless as the girl may be, you'd never do anything to hurt her and you simply wouldn't be able to live with yourself if you did, you couldn't. "i hope, uhm—" you really didn't wish to sob in front of her. but you saw the way she stood up from the chair. she was leaving. "i hope you get everything you want, because that's what you deserve." you hated the way that even now, as she stood in front of you after playing a game with your heart for months, you couldn't bring yourself to be angry with her because it was ellie fucking williams.

she moved closer to you and this time you didn't protest, you didn't move. "you too, love." she placed a hand on the back of your head and pressed a chaste kiss to your forehead. your could feel the tears begin to gush, you held them all at bay, a look of pain contorted around your face. her scent, her warmth, her everything, you had a funny feeling in your chest that this was the last time you'd feel her presence. "goodbye, y/n." standing in front of the now open door.

"goodbye, ellie." and finally the door shut, you all but rushed to it. your chest began to rise and fall rapidly as you held your breath, ignoring the way the sobs practically ripped out of you instantly. you couldn't help it, the tears, the pain, the hyperventilating. you knew it was over, forever, you'd never see ellie william's pretty face the way you did before as she would you.

you fell down, unable to hold yourself. sitting with your back to the door and your knees to your chest. you also held a hand to your chest, one toying with the hair on your head, ripping at it. you could feel the pain overtake your body and you were sure if you could die of heartbreak then you'd surely be gone by the morning.

your head fell into your knees, sobbing violently as your whole body raked with whimpers and cries, ones that you had never felt so badly. you wanted to open the door and run out, chase her and state that you could do better, you would do better, you'd keep her from cat and you'd show her that you were a thousand times better. you'd beg and plead with her to just try with you, try once and then if she felt the same, she'd be on her way. you wanted to ask her for one more chance to prove that you were worth more than her silence made you feel.

but you didn't.

you couldn't.

you sat with your head in your knees as you sobbed and cried like a little child listening to her parents fight. but you didn't chase after her for you knew one thing that kept repeating itself in your mind, making you stay put, making the tears gush out quicker.

loving someone more will not make someone love you back.

main masterlist/ellie's masterlist

[sleepyangelkami]

pastors daughter was so good 😖😖 a pt 2 would be so cool 🎀🤍

PASTORS DAUGHTER II e.williams

 ☆ WORD COUNT - 5.4K

ELLIE WILLIAMS X FEM!READER

 ☆ SUMMARY - ellie williams can't seem to stay away from the pastors daughter and a certain memory is engraved in both their minds. the only problem was, while one was all but drunk off the past image, the other was doing everything in her power to wash it away. luckily for them, one was much more intent on getting what they wanted than the other, so much so that it sufficed for them both.

 ☆ WARNINGS - homophobia, internal homophobia, kisses ;), religious 'trauma'?, reader being stupid asf, my shitty writing, innocence kink, corruption kink, intended lower case, nothing i write is ever proofread 🩷

series masterlist

ash/ashley = readers sister.

there were many things ellie williams felt that night, ecstasy, relief, pure and utter bliss. what she didn't think, however, was that it would lead to her sitting in a seat by herself in her kitchen, a hand on her forehead as she skimmed through her thoughts as if she were an absolute idiot. when her lips were on yours, wet kisses pushing roughly against your so obviously 'unkissed' pout. you were knew to it, never have kissed anyone before but how could you? when you wore a silver cross necklace so proudly, you spent most your time cooped up in the little church across the road, you couldn't ever have even gotten close enough. there was such pride that ellie had swooning through her as she placed the very first kiss ever on your lips. it was pure bliss, to finally get what she had wanted for so long, to have you right where she wanted. everything was... perfect.

until, you ran away.

almost a week had passed, no call, no text, not even a mumble of a hello in the hallway. you did everything in your power to run the opposite direction upon seeing ellie anywhere near you. suddenly, you had choir more often, you had violin class too, along with the many other clubs you had joined. suddenly, you spent near no time in your own house let alone when ellie was standing in it.

of course, guilt racked your thoughts. the way her face seemed to contort as you pulled away from her, making a sound that didn't sound as though you were happy. panic stricken face as you couldn't even look at her own heartbreaking one. guilt consumed you everywhere you went. when you sat inside a church, thinking of the very reason you had to run away, when you saw a couple holding hands knowing that it was only reminding you of ellie williams and when you saw her in the hall, when her face lit up at the sight of you and when you pushed yourself into the nearest cubicle you could find simply to avoid her.

but how could you face her now? knowing you had committed the very sin you had swore against every devil you would never do. how could you look at her knowing that every inch of you was aching to be with her, and that was so wrong.

a text caused your body to jolt ever so slightly, a vibration being sent through your leg as you glanced down at your phone in which was sitting in your lap.

it was english class and mr. lionel was currently giving out to three girls, they hadn't stopped talking upon entering the class and mr. lionel had just about enough. you glanced down at the phone, biting your bottom lip, surely, the man wouldn't notice. you had never exactly went on your phone in class, then again, no one texted you really aside from ashley but she never texted at this hour, no, she was either ditching school to sleep or in one of the classes she liked best, either way, she wouldn't be texting you at such a time. you chewed down on your bottom lip, the thought of getting caught, getting in trouble was enough to send your stomach pit falling down to your ankles. but you did, because lately you seemed to be doing just about everything you weren't supposed to. glancing down, you slowly turned your phone upwards so the screen was facing you and you could read the little words that littered across it.

unknown: hey this is max, listen i know everything happened between us but i need to see you. behind the school at 4:00. don't be late.

weird, you thought you still had maxine's contact saved but nevertheless brushed it off. your pit in your stomach grew, worsening as you opened the message to type back. you didn't want to meet her, if you did and by chance, your parents found out, you would never be let see the light of day again. but maxine needed you. and whether that was to help fix a problem or scream at her one last time you knew you owed her that much. so, you pattered your fingertips against the dark screen, ignoring the haunting feeling that someone may see you, guilt swarming your every move. you truly didn't know how to break the news to maxine and ruth that you were never permitted to speak to them again and while they seemed oh so understanding, you couldn't help the guilt that prodded against you as they hugged you for the last time. you also, as much as you'd like to admit it, couldn't keep the tears at bay that day.

"y/n." your eyes snapped towards your teacher, phone plopping back in your lap just as you sent the text through. he was giving you a suspicious eye, catching you on your phone. but he wouldn't humiliate you, not in front of your peers at least, no, he'd never, after all you were his favourite student. "can you tell me which poetic technique is shown here?"

"uhm." squirming in your seat as your eyes fell onto the board. "oxymoron, contrasting between the light and dark." mumbling so low he could barely hear you, but nonetheless he grinned and like that, he continued on with class, something you were oh so grateful for.

the end of school neared dangerously closer as you ended up in the front of maths class, scribbling down trigonometric ratios while your stomach twisted over and over, the thoughts of seeing maxine after school could only cause your brain to absolutely fry. you were thankful she had picked behind the school, no one went there after school so naturally it was the most private place to be, you wondered if she did that for you or for herself, so she could yell at you in peace. while you were sure you didn't wish to be yelled at you knew you deserved it. for the first time in that whole week, ellie williams wasn't on your mind, just those two friends that you missed ever so dearly and yet couldn't even communicate to.

as soon as the bell rang through your ears, you scooped up your pretty pink bag and stuffed all your belongings inside. with pencils almost falling out of your pencil case, you crushed everything together and zipped up your bag with great effort. you didn't so much as bid the teacher goodbye before you were on your feet, ignoring the way your mary janes skid across the hallway floors but instead focusing on how much faster you could get there, you didn't wish to be late. after all, she had specified you not do so. the school was large but thankfully you knew it like the back of your hand.

gripping the straps of your pretty bag against your shoulders, you all but ran toward the other side of the school. checking your back and over your shoulder you realised that no, you were not being followed just extra paranoid. how could you not? when you had practically burned bridges with just about everyone. you blinked heavily, readying yourself to turn the corner and be met with a very angry maxine.

you weren't met with an angry maxine because you weren't met with maxine at all.

ellie williams stood with her back to the wall, stomping out a cigarette with her foot. you stood frozen, eyes wide and at first you believed it could be some mistake, some mix up but by the way her eyes lit up when her head turned towards you, it certainly was no mistake. "y/n, you came."

you gave her a look with furrowed brows. "you pretended to be max." it wasn't a question, it was a statement.

ellie pushed her back from the wall, moving towards you. "look, i know it was fucked up, i know but y'wanna know what else is fucked up? ignoring me for a whole week." you looked around, hands holding yourself close as you hoped and prayed that no one saw the two of you conversing. something about standing with ellie made you feel so... filthy. "i mean what the fuck was that?" as bad as it sounded, the crude language felt so refreshing to hear tumbling from her lips.

your hands scratched at opposite arms. "ellie, we shouldn't do this here... now." any excuse to get yourself right out of this situation as fast as humanly possible. guilt swarmed your entire being. "i— i'm sorry, for ignoring you and for-" you sighed heavily, looking away while you fought back the burning in your irises. "for everything that happened." the wet, open mouthed kiss that made you forget jesus' name. "and i'm sorry but it's not gonna work." you were shrinking in on yourself, in your very own arms with a sad puppy look in your eyes, you bit down harshly on your bottom lip.

ellie watched you intently, arms to her eyes as she studied your own feeble ones, doing a rather shitty attempt at covering your body. "funny." she scoffed, eyes never leaving your own glasses over ones that couldn't seem to gaze into hers. "you were pretty sure it wasn't gonna happen before you kissed me too." eyes as wide as saucers, you swiftly turned your head around, worried someone may hear. you couldn't even begin to imagine what sort of reaction people would have to know that the pastors daughter had kissed a girl. "you wanna know what i think?" stepping closer to you as your breath caught in your throat, no you didn't want to know what she thought of the situation as you'd much rather there be no situation at all. "i think you're a liar." you swallowed harshly, mumbling a sheer 'stop' as she walked closer towards you. and yet, you made no movement to step back. "you liked everything about that night, admit it." her voice dropped as the dark clouds surrounded the sky seemed even darker, heavier. there was a sudden change in the atmosphere, one in which almost made you think a thunder storm was on it's way. "you wanted my lips on yours, to feel me against you, to soothe that ache between—"

she was caught off abruptly by you, who hadn't uttered a word but instead shot your hand forward instantly, shoving it over her mouth so she couldn't continue her sentence. upon shoving your hand on her mouth, you had Accidentally pushed her, she took the opportunity to seize your upper arms. she all but threw herself backwards, bringing you with her. her back hit the wall, you stood in front of her, eyes wide and breath picking up as your hand stayed on her lips, her hands on your arms.

you made a noise, one that told you and her that you didn't wish to move but you felt as though you simply had to. and she could understand, to a certain extent she supposed. you were good girl y/n who could never do any wrong, something about someone spotting you with her, the delinquent ellie williams, pressing her against a wall, was absolutely teeth rottingly addictive. she wanted someone to turn the corner, she wanted people to see, to know that the precious gem of the town y/n l/n was all hers and no one could do anything about it.

your breath slowed and your eyes racked over every perfect imperfection dotted on her face. her freckles looked lighter in this lighting and though you were a great deal smaller than her, your hand wound around the bottom half of her face easily. your chest heaved, as did hers and you could feel it. when she had practically thrown herself backwards she had let you stumble so far that you were chest to chest and horrendously flustered.

ellie however, seemed to be enjoying herself. you couldn't see her lips but you could feel her pretty smirk against the skin of your dainty hands, the way her brows relaxed and her sage eyes gave you this drunk look. to her, she did feel drunk, she was drunk off of you, your innocence, purity, kindness, your big bad secret that only she knew.

you blinked when you felt her hand against your face, though you didn't flinch nor recoil away, she saw that as a good sign. her tattooed arm was raised, hand slowly brushing against your soft skin. her thumb trailed across your cheek and towards your lips, dragging it against your pretty skin, you almost gasped out. you weren't doing this again, you couldn't.

the gentle yet sudden patter of raindrops against your head caused you to instantly pull away. "I— i have to go." you almost spat out in sheer panic. and for the second time, you ran away. but this time, ellie didn't call your name or run a hand through her hair with stress evident on her face, no.

ellie leaned against the wall, watching as you all but sprinted away from her, your pretty dress bouncing against the back of your legs, she wondered what color the fabric that sat beneath the dress was. she had this smirk on her face, one that you of course would have wished to wipe off more than anything but how couldn't she? she had seen that look in your eye, that unfamiliar lust filling your pretty irises as you raked your eyes over her face. the slight confusion to why you had felt this way and yet everything about you seemed so comforted by her and yet so so tense. she knew then and there that it was not over.

ellie still had a chance to change your mind.

"is daddy gonna go after church?" you questioned to your sister as you held the church baskets you had been cleaning close in your hands. it been three days since you spoke with ellie, it was a saturday, and it was the day that your sister and her school year had their parent teacher meetings. you were lucky, you had them at the very start of the year.

"yeah." she stomped on the cigarette and waited for it to grow damp in the soil. "said he's gonna bring mom too." this caused you to furrow your brows as you continued on your journey.

"but mama never goes to those things?" your mind couldn't stand the thought of ellie williams, how you had caved so easily. she had gotten so close to what she wanted and you couldn't let that happen. however, after three days of no contact, she no longer seemed to be around when you were, you supposed she had gotten the hint. you were relieved, to say the least and had repented for whatever sins you could that past week, however you couldn't stop that burning chest in your feeling when you thought of her. you wondered, what she thinking about you too?

your sister tsked. "yeah but they wanna get sympathy for having such a screw up of a daughter." she spoke with an almost sarcastic tone. "best way to do that is to talk to my teachers about how hard it is to raise me."

you gave her sympathetic eyes as you pushed the church doors open, mass would be starting any minute now. you were never late to mass, unless of course you walked with ashley, it happened to be one of those days. "you're not a screw up, ash." she gave you a ghost of a smile one that did not quite reach her eyes.

"thanks loser, 'ppreciate it." some said you were daises and the sun, and ashley was only orchids and the moon, a beautiful combination that never failed to amuse anyone. i mean, wouldn't it look odd? to see a girl with dark hair and hot pink highlights, chains on her jeans, her nails always painted black whether they were full or chipped, some form of polish always coating them. and then there was you, pretty natural hair sitting on your shoulders and always in a dress or a skirt, only wearing bright colors. you wore little to no makeup, not because you weren't allowed but because you simply weren't good at it. so, you opted for a natural face while your sister always had some form of eyeshadow on, her waterlines filled in black. "woah, what the fuck are you doing here?" you furrowed your brows at your sister, who was looking right over you. spinning around, you were not ready for the sight you were met with.

ellie williams cleaned up nicely when she wanted to.

she wore a brown button up and a jeans, her hair was freshly cut and her tattoo was on show. you had seen it before, of course, from the many short sleeves she wore around you however it had never been on display in front of your parents let alone in the church. speaking of which, she never came to church either. after the first night ellie had been begged to go to church with ashley, she swore off it, first, she almost dropped the baby jesus in which had been passed to her by ashley, then she had to shake a bunch of old women's hands during mass and was sat next to some kid who wouldn't stop touching her feet as they crawled around the kneeler, then she realised she couldn't even get a good view of you, the main reason she had stayed through the entire mass, because some old bald man had sat in front of her and stood too tall. she didn't go to church because she didn't believe in god too, that was a main factor she supposed. she shouldn't be here, you thought. not because she didn't deserve the right to worship the lord but because you knew by the way her eyes raked up your body that she was not here for a mass ceremony. "what? too late to get into heaven?" she shot you a glance, almost one of accusation. the truth was, you didn't think you were going to hell, how could you when you did just about everything for god himself. in fact, you were sure you were more religious than your father. but the bible was outdated, that was the reason there was a new testament. god wasn't going to punish you for feeling how you felt because if the story of god was true, he made you with every perfect imperfection, not that you'd exactly call such a thing an imperfection. sometimes, you wondered if your father truly believed that being gay was wrong because of god or if he was just hiding behind such a fact because he was scared that he truly didn't have a reason not to like someone for being such a way. "sweetheart." a smirk dancing on her lips as she nodded her head at you. yeah, she definitely did not get the hint.

you turned to your sister with a small huff. "could you put these by the benches, please?" she nodded, taking the baskets from your hands. "thank you." and you turned back to ellie williams. "you have mud on your nose." watching as her face scrunched up and her hand came up to wipe it away, her long fingers stretching— you shook your head free of the thoughts before scrambling up to the alter to get into the sacristy.

when mass started, you did everything in your power to avert your eyes from ellie williams, sitting so smugly in the audience. she knew what she was doing, spreading her legs apart with her elbows resting towards her knees, her eyes never left your face.

you, however, looked straight forward with your tight chest and mumbling words from time to time. you pretended to be interested in the sheet you were holding, following along the words in your mind as your father read them out from the top of the alter. he read smoothly, not a stutter in his voice. you longed to have such confidence, to not shake like a leaf when presenting a project, to have the confidence to look ellie fucking williams in the eye and not shy away, to have the confidence to admit it even if it was just in your mind that you felt the way you weren't supposed to. you liked the forbidden fruit. the words formed so clearly in your mind. i like gi— "and now may we rise for the holy communion." giving out holy bread, your eyes concentrated back on the task, that was you're job. well, you and three other people.

you all but scrambled towards the bowel in which held the holy bread, grasping it and going to the right of the alter, ashley went to the left and two of the church boys went to the middle, all with your own holy bread dishes. ashley was rolling her eyes, mumbling the words under her breath. one of the older women came up to her, instead of holding out their hands they opened their mouth, her eyes went wide and she turned towards you, giving you both a shocked and disgusted look. you gave her a warning look, gesturing towards your father who was watching her like a hawk. she grimaced before placing it inside the womans mouth.

giggling to yourself, you turned back with a grin on your face. it dropped suddenly at the sight of ellie williams standing in front of you, looking as innocent as ever (not). you gave her a stern look, as if to tell her stop playing her little games and especially here of all places. "body of christ." you mumbled beneath your breath as your hand moved towards the bowel once more, picking up a rounded piece of holy bread.

"amen." she said the word in the cockiest tone you had ever heard in your entire life. but you fought back an eye roll, instead you just held it up, ready to place it in her left hand, the idiot would probably hold out the right hand instead. you internally groaned, ready for her to show just how much she respects the religion. your expression blanked as she opened her mouth, sticking out her tongue. your breath stuttered, in front of everyone. no one was looking, no one cared. and yet you felt as though you were on stage with an enlarged audience.

your hand wobbled. "what are you doing?" you whispered to her, noticing how people were conversing, not bothering to glance at who was receiving holy bread and your father was too focused on ashley to so much as glance your way.

she smirked, closing her mouth momentarily. "getting my holy bread." she spoke as if it were painfully obvious. opening her mouth again, she flattened her tongue across her bottom lip, you pretended your chest didn't clench and neither did your thighs. you could imagine that tongue doing a painfully soft attack against your neck, that was all you knew could happen with a tongue. ellie, however, had many other things in mind of just where she wanted her tongue when it came to you. it was humorous, how your sinful thoughts were still somewhat innocent but ellie's... ellie's thoughts were nothing short of the devil herself's thoughts feulling into her brain. you placed the holy bread against her tongue, ignoring the way it wet your thumb ever so slightly. she closed her lips, giving you a smug type of look. "thanks, angel." and you were left with clenched thighs, dusty cheeks, flustered head and a ditsy feeling. you glanced down at the small patch of saliva on your thumb and all you could think about was that night.

"i— i think you should go." but you didn't want her to go, you really didn't want her to go.

"you wan't me here?" as a wet kiss came down to the skin of your neck, you gasped out, blinking. this was a dream, it had to be. you felt almost euphoric as her lips flattened against the crook of your neck, the way they kissed you so delicately as if you were made of glass. she moved her head back up almost instantly, as if her own actions weren't affecting her. her lips brushed against your own, so closely that you could taste her. "or here?"

you weren't proud of what you did next.

you didn't pull away nor make any attempts to get away, in fact, you reached your face up to meet her own. her face crashed down rather swiftly, so fast that you could barely register the way her lips rammed right into your own.

you had never kissed anyone before, never even thought of so aside from her. you breathed heavily, she swallowed your heaves and gasps into her own mouth, she pushed a hand up to hold your neck in place the other steady on your hip as her tongue pressed against your bottom lip.

this euphoric feeling hit you like a tonne of bricks, you suddenly felt that nothing was impossible, that this life for you was somewhat of an option. but it wasn't because euphoria doesn't last forever, it can't because there needs to be something to cancel it out so you get to feel that way. otherwise, wouldn't euphoria feel normal? that would mean that bad was despair and good simply wasn't enough. but this. this was too much.

you pulled away harshly, tears coating the glass of your eyes. " 'm sorry— 'm sorry i can't." and you ran. you ran out of the kitchen, up the stairs and right into your bedroom. you could still see that look of heartbreak on her face. you slid down the door, hand on your chest and knees bunched up. you were nothing short of an absolute idiot. you breathed heavily but this time there were no big soothing hands or the lulling that only ellie william's voice could control. you felt panic overcome you. you weren't gay. you couldn't be. and you certainly weren't falling for ellie williams.

oh, but you were, you were so desperately in love with her since the day you saw her and her stupid auburn hair or her stupid freckles, how about her stupid green eyes. stupid. stupid. stupid. but so lovely.

you sat inside your bedroom once more, fingers softly padding against your bottom lip. you were the stupid one, you were beginning to realise. it was just so hard. to love a girl so much and yet know that it was either her or everything you had ever worked for. that decision was already made, not by your father, your mother, your sister, ellie.... by you. you'd choose it over and over again.

you'd choose her.

a bang on your window caused you to jump harshly, twisting your whole body towards your window, it was dark out but you could make out ellie williams lean figure from a mile away. however, she seemed a little more entangled now. she was kicking a wire off her foot, cursing so loudly that you could hear her from the inside of your bedroom. what on earth was she doing? ashley was at the parent teacher meeting with your mother and father so it was only you inside the bedroom, alone, well, you supposed you weren't alone when you had the dits of a girl outside your bedroom window. "fuck! ow, ow!" as she almost face planted against your window. you had enough. you stood and rapidly scrambled towards the window, pulling it open and it seemed as though the girl hadn't been expecting it because she fell straight through it. "fuck, oh, that worked." she stood instantly, brushing off her jeans. she hadn't changed since the church, you, however, were already dressed in your silkiest pijamas. "hey, hello..." panting before straining her eyes back on you, she relaxed, a lazy smile on her face. "hi."

you almost laughed. almost. "do you know what time it is, ellie?" but you didn't seem mad, not by the way you shut the window for her to stay and took a seat on your window bench. she shook her head, eyes glancing around your childish yet pretty bedroom, right, she had never been in there. you silently cursed the stuffed animals sitting on your bed. her eye caught them and grinned. "aren't you supposed to be at the parent teacher meeting?"

"Oh, that shitty thing? hell no, joel already knows what a pain in his ass i am, he doesn't need to hear another ten people complain about it." waving her hand as she leaned against your dresses, glancing at the perfumes that drove her crazy whenever she passed you. "so... this is your bedroom."

she was stalling. "els?" she glanced up at the familliar nickname rolling from your lips. "what are you doing here?" she didn't respond and you fiddled with one of the stuffed animals that sat on your bench. "i don't think you should come back to the church, ellie?"

"why? because i'm gay?" as if it were an accusation, right at the fact that you too, somewhere deep inside you could admit, that you too shared the liking towards girls. and hey, you were the most popular church girl in all of your town. so why did sexuality have to define religion? short answer, it didn't, ellie knew you knew so too but she needed to know the truth, if her stares truly made you as nervous as yours made hers. she needed to know how you felt and what part she played in that.

you cocked your head to the side."no, ellie, because you're not there to 'get into heaven'." repeating her previous words back to her with a small scowl attached to your face. she wasn't there for god nor was she there for jesus. she was there for you. as much as you hated to admit it. it sounded absurd, something you never would have guessed. someone coming to church for you? it was surreal, even more so fact that she was a girl.

she tilted her head. "really? says who?" teasing. because that was just what ellie williams did best.

"ellie..." you trailed off, trying to find your words. the way her eyes raked up your body could only leave you standing silly. she knew the effect she had on you and she did it anyway, in fact, you were beginning to think that she did it because of the effect it had on you. "you don't believe in god." putting it in the most simple form you possibly could. not relating yourself. that alone was dangerous.

"no. but i believe in you." your eyes looked up. "if you're there. i'm there." your heart melted. you were on very dangerous ice ready to collapse at any second.

standing from the bench. "ellie—" she was quick to cut you off and for that you would be forever grateful.

"no." she shook her head. "i'm sorry, but we're not doing this again." she stepped closer, inching her way towards you. you could only breathe in, a sigh that you knew was coming, you knew this was coming.

and for the first time... you were ready. "okay." she inched impossibly closer. "but ellie..." you trailed off. "you have to know that if we start this— i- i won't be able to stop." god was going to punish you for this one.

"good." her hand was suddenly on your face, slowly tracing around your soft skin. "because i don't plan on stopping anytime soon, either." she leaned her face in closer, her breathe bore into your own, your head tilted up to meet hers.

this time, panic wasn't running through you, you had accepted your fate, the fact that you couldn't get away from ellie even if you tried because whether you liked it or not, you were so madly in love with your sisters best friend and that wasn't going to change, no matter how many times you sat at your bed on your knees, hands bound together and praying to god that he got rid of these feelings.

"y/n..." face so close you could feel her nose tip against yours.

you hummed, lips grazing.

" 'm gonna kiss you now." she mumbled.

"okay." you breathed.

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