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themurphyzone · 7 years

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Mayor Murphy Ch 5

Honestly, you can’t expect me to put in a time stream without our favorite time travelers?

Ch 5- Errand Running

Balthazar and Vinnie were used to sharing a small, cramped space and the looming threat of eviction if they didn’t pay the rent on time. They were accustomed to the Bureau ignoring Balthazar’s constant requests for a pay raise. Not to mention occasionally losing the money they made from exploding pistachio carts if a certain boy happened to wander by.

So the whole talking raccoon giving them a place to stay with no set deadline for paying off a home loan thing was still a big shock for them. But like all good things, there was a catch.

And that catch was playing delivery boy for Tom Nook while wearing a ridiculous green work shirt. The shirt clashed horribly with Vinnie’s pants, but he didn’t mind in the slightest.

In his humble opinion, seeing Balthazar wearing informal clothing was completely worth it. Or at least partly informal. He still kept the dress pants and hat.

“A leaf,” Balthazar said in disbelief. “We have to deliver a leaf to a Ms. Eloise.”

“No, no!” Nook chortled. “This is a special kind of technology that only exists in Crossing Valley! Since you seem behind the times, I will happily enlighten you. Since it would be rather cumbersome to drag beds and desks with you everywhere you go, we’ve developed a way to collapse furniture items into a more portable form.” He turned the leaf over, revealing a small red button on the stem. “Push this button and it will expand into a piece of furniture you can place into your home.”

Vinnie whistled. “That’s amazing. Why don’t we have anything like that?”

“Because the Bureau would rather watch us suffer than do anything useful,” Balthazar muttered.

“Trade secret,” Nook winked. “Now, I believe I forgot to give you a town map when you arrived. Forgive the inconvenience. As you can see, Eloise’s house is located in Acre B2. Just south of here. Come back in thirty minutes, and I might deduct a few extra Bells from your home loan.”

Nook waved them out of the store, humming as he rearranged the tool display. “Dakota, we came here to investigate the disappearance of pistachios from the time stream of Crossing Valley,” Balthazar muttered, crumpling the map in his hand. “Not to owe money to an apron wearing raccoon!”

Vinnie shrugged. “I wouldn’t mind working for him. He’s nicer than Mr. Block. Though maybe it wouldn’t hurt to find a better uniform. Green just isn’t my color.” He coughed. “But hey, it looks good on you! You’re green with a fancy mustache.”

Balthazar tried not to preen at that. “Well, I don’t like to brag or anything but it does take quite a bit of time for proper mustache maintenance. Moving on, let’s get this, uh, leaf item thingy which is apparently a green chair to Eloise.”

“How do you know it’s a green chair?” Vinnie asked. “It could be a UFO, or a video game, or a plant-well, i guess it’s technically a plant since it’s a leaf but then again it’s synthetic so-” Balthazar reached over and pinched Vinnie’s lips closed.

“Because the label says ‘green chair’, you disco loving dolt,” Balthazar pointed to a tag on the end of the leaf.

Snow crunched beneath their shoes as they kept an eye out for Eloise’s house. Vinnie almost didn’t want to tread on it since there was such a pretty star shaped pattern dotting the landscape. He paused in front of a cherry tree, stomach growling at the surprisingly large cherries that hung from the lowest branches. These had to be several times larger than any berry back home. And it was yet another food that had gone extinct in the future.

Vinnie shook the tree, and three large cherries fell down, the bright red skin standing out from the white powder. “You want one?” Vinnie swallowed one with a single gulp, spitting out the pit.

Grimacing, Balthazar declined. “You’re really going to eat that without washing it first?”

Vinnie bit into a second cherry. “More for me, I guess.”

After walking south for several minutes, they finally found Eloise’s house. Smoke poured from a brick chimney, the small house looking more quaint than the one they bought from Nook. Balthazar straightened his hat before knocking twice.

“It’s unlocked,” Vinnie said, twisting the doorknob.

Balthazar slapped his hand away. “We can’t just barge in there unannounced! We’ll be arrested for breaking and entering!”

“Didn’t you hear Nook when we were looking at the houses?” Vinnie asked. “The houses only lock when the owner isn’t around. Though you didn’t really care about being arrested when you tried to use a battering ram on the Murphy’s back door-”

“I thought we agreed to never mention that incident again,” Balthazar hissed, opening the door and shoving Vinnie inside.

“Yay, leprechauns! I’m so happy to meet you! I’m Eloise, toooot!” an elephant cheered. Her entire house was green, with several moneybags stashed in odd places. It looked as though someone had decided to interior decorate with a jungle.

“Um, no actually,” Vinnie said. “Balthy and I aren’t leprechauns. Now that I think about it, you could easily pass for a leprechaun. A tall, cranky one with a big mustache.”

“First of all,” Balthazar snapped. “We are not leprechauns. We are the newest residents of Pecanville. My name is Balthazar Cavendish, certified time traveler. And this is my colleague, Vinnie Dakota. We are on a mission to deliver-wait, something wrong?”

“If you aren’t leprechauns, then you have no business in my house!” Eloise suddenly whipped out three brooms, clutching one in both arms and trunk. Her eyes blazed ferociously as she stomped her feet and prepared to charge. “You will get a front row seat to my special Three Brooms Style!”

How on earth she held anything without hands was beyond Vinnie.

“Wait, wait!” Vinnie frantically waved his arms, jumping in front of Balthazar. “We do have business here! Tom Nook wanted us to work in his shop for a while, and we have a special delivery for you.” He grabbed the leaf and held it out.

Eloise promptly dropped the brooms, squealing happily. “The great Lucky has blessed me with this green chair!” She tapped the button with her trunk, the leaf expanding into a green chair with a cushion in the back. Dragging it over to a small table, she thanked Lucky profusely.

“Now, since you’re from beyond Crossing Valley, I assume you’ve met Lucky before?” Eloise asked.

“I don’t know anyone who goes by Lucky,” Balthazar grumbled.

Eloise gasped. “How could you not know who he is? Why, when I lived in Ceres, someone there told me about Lucky, a great leprechaun god who could make marshmallows and dry cereal pour from the sky while he relaxed in a river of milk! And whenever he came down to earth, a crowd of children always chased him so they could learn the secrets of his Lucky Charms! Oh, and he has little leprechaun helpers that create rainbow slides and give gold coins to good children! Oh, and please accept this guitar as a gift from Lucky himself.” She tapped a button on the neck of the guitar, and it shrunk down into a leaf.

As he pocketed the leaf, Vinnie noticed many portraits of the cereal mascot around the house, with scented candles lit underneath. “We should really get back to Nook. These deliveries aren’t going to deliver themselves!” He and Balthazar quickly exited the house.

Behind them, Eloise called, “Prayer is at seven tonight if you wanna join me!”

Vinnie patted Balthazar’s back as he fumed. “Relax. What could possibly go wrong around these parts?”

Nook only deducted 80 Bells for that task, claiming that they were dawdling too much even after Balthazar tried to protest that Eloise held them up with inane ramblings of the leprechaun god.

The next task was to write a letter to a villager named Puck about an upcoming sale. They managed that one in less than five minutes since the post office was next door.

“Yes, yes! Very good, very good!” Nook nodded in approval, carefully handing a long, wrapped bundle to Balthazar. “Your next task is to deliver this ax to Murphy! You will not be able to use it yourself, but handle it carefully all the same!”

“Deliver an ax to Murphy?” Balthazar yelped. “Are you insane?”

“No, no! It’s a perfectly reasonable request! Out with you now! And no dilly-dallying!” Nook ushered them out of the shop.

Balthazar twirled the gift-wrapped ax in his hands. “I am officially placing Tom Nook under investigation for having potential ties to Agent Murphy. He must be a weapon supplier.”

Vinnie moaned. “I don’t want any part of this please. Have you considered maybe there’s someone living in Pecanville named Murphy and we’re supposed to deliver the ax to him?”

“Don’t be ridiculous!” Balthazar snapped. “We met all the residents in this backwater town already. Besides, Nook seems awfully quick to get us out of the shop quickly. He’s hiding something, and we’re going to find out what it is. Luckily, I have reliable sources that point towards Agent Murphy and his accomplices hiding somewhere in Crossing Valley.”

Vinnie rolled his eyes. “Reliable sources being one conversation at the dinner table.”

“The problem is that there are millions of towns within the time stream, so we must try to narrow it down to a single location,” Balthazar mused. “We shall begin where all the time streams converge. Central.”

They boarded the train bound for Central, sitting down in a car next to an old boar. “’Scuse me, sirs. Would you like to buy any turnips? Selling ‘em for 100 Bells each!” She gestured to a a handmade basket full of turnips on her back.

Balthazar scoffed. “We don’t need any sales pitches-oof, get off, Dakota!”

Because the seat was so small, Vinnie had to lean awkwardly over Balthazar so he could peer into the basket. “May I please get two of your largest turnips?” They completed the exchange, the boar counting her payment.

“Thank y’all!” the boar exclaimed. “Old sow Joan is pleased to do business with you lovely folk! Now, if ya’ll excuse me, I need to go find that nosy kitty who’s always talking it up with strangers he don’t know. Gonna be in trouble one of these days, I’m telling ya....”

Joan mumbled to herself as she exited the car, slowly shuffling down the aisle as other passengers ducked her swinging turnip basket.

“You could stand to be nicer,” Vinnie commented as he snacked on a turnip. He stopped chewing and made a face. “You want these? They’re kinda on the bland side.”

Balthazar took one bite and made a face. “What’s the point of selling these things if they don’t even taste good?”

“MROW-HA-HA!” a cat snickered. They jumped. She definitely hadn’t been there before. Two fangs poked out of her mouth as she snickered. “Man, I knew noobs learning the ins and outs of plain old everyday town life could be completely clueless. But this? You two definitely take the mouse, purrty. Cheese, whiskers, and all.”

“It’s terribly rude to eavesdrop on conversations that are none of your concern,” Balthazar retorted.

Vinnie gave him a look. “I think you’ve maxed out the hypocrite meter today, Balthy.”

“His name is Balthy? How embarrassing.” she smirked. “The name is Katt. Yes, a cat named Katt. Hilarious, am I right or am I right? Time traveler extraordinaire, not at your service, purrty.”

Katt kicked back against the seat so that her legs rested on Balthazar’s kneecaps.

“Prove it,” Balthazar demanded. “And we are not clueless. We know what we’re doing.”

Katt lazily flicked her wallet at him. “Sure ya do. Word to the idiot. Turnips are meant to be bought and sold. Not eaten. We’ve got a little thing called the Stalk Market. If ya wanna get rich quick, ya might want to figure out how to use it.”

“I don’t care about the turnips, Katt,” Balthazar spat her name as if it was poison. “What time traveling organization are you affiliated with?”

In response, Katt flicked out her watch. “I don’t work for anyone. I’m a lone cat, purrty.” She winked at Vinnie while the gears in her watch wound up. “Your partner is a handful. Makes me glad I’m solitary. Catch ya later!”

With a burst of light she was gone, leaving a charred seat cushion behind.

“Eek eek! Arriving in Central! We are arriving in Central!”

Balthazar and Vinnie set up a pistachio stand as soon as they arrived to bait the target. The ax was hidden inside a compartment, since Balthazar was still indecisive about giving weapons to Murphy.

The animals were completely clueless to the stand’s real purpose. A purple squirrel paid for his pistachios and muttered something about persuading the mayor for a pistachio stand public works project.

“Hey, it’s those pistachio sellers!” a voice called out, and a boy in a sweater vest politely made his way across the thick crowd of animals. “Didn’t think I would be running into you guys here! How are you?”

A small green bear fished by the ocean, yanking up another sea bass.

“Why does everyone always forget things that I ordered, laddie?” he asked his catch as he held it up to his face, preparing to chow down. The sea bass slapped him in the nose with its tail, escaping back into the water and disappearing into the depths.

“Sure. Forget about me. You’re just like everyone else, you know that?,” he mumbled. “I need to figure out a way to make animals remember the name of Murphy.”

Balthazar and Vinnie are in the Gamecube version of Animal Crossing in winter.

Eloise copies Zoro’s fighting style in One Piece.

Poor Murphy.

Don’t be rude to your neighbors, Balthy.

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