#emo endless toxic behavior

[ladyclwriter]

Morpheus Imagine

I Did Something Bad

Dream of the endless x gn!nightmare!reader

"Enemies" to lovers

Summary: Morpheus had to go after the not-so-new major arcana, just like the other ones. He forgot the fact that this one was the only one who spoke to him like an equal. And, just like a century ago, you argued, as you wanted to spoke up for your kind needs — and for yours too.

Discussion, bad words, angst+fluff, creatorxcreation kiss(?)

A/n: heavily inspired by “I miss screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain”. Blame Taylor Swift

He still remembered the ceremony. The brand new major arcana being welcomed by its partners, siblings, relatives, or whatever four nightmares could call each other. That odd small humanly-beast figure, standing in the middle of the hall, holding back happy tears. He also remembered how cold, stiff he was in that time. How he treated it all as a formality, how he didn't saw the emotions on the monster's red eyes. Or maybe he just ignored it.

He didn't had much time to figure out the intense nightmare he created. Three years later, he got imprisoned. Even if he lived that century with freedom, he knew he wouldn't saw it either.

But, to every bad thing, there's a good consequence.

Because now he was there, standing, watching the not so beast thing walk out of a big building. Well, he only knew it was the nightmare for the fact that he could feel it. Otherwise, he would never expect that the long claws, the spiky dark fur, the lion mane, crocodile tail, shark teeth and bird nose would turn into a such apleasing-to the-eyes-full-humanly-body. But he knew that nothing in that being was human. In his soul, he did know. It was a part of him. A little slice of his power, an extension from the Dreaming. There, walking with a proud smile in the middle of the crowd.

Thunder echoed distantly, waking him up from his own thoughts. He didn't expected for him to be so uneasy about this approach. Surely that one was the easiest of all four. This one, he could track down. And it didn't had as much as resentment as the others. Still, he was there. Hesitant.

His steps were slow, not caring about following the nightmare's pace. He tried to silent his own mind, as his soul screamed louder and louder while the distance decreased. A part of him. A very young, wild and unpredictable one.

“Holy shit.” the nightmare said loudly, stopping its own walk. Morpheus did the same. “Holy fucking endless shit”.

When you turned around, the Lord Of Dreams would never imagine that his small weird beast would become such an eye-catching human in the waking realm. For a little second, he regretted using his powers to create it as the monsterly nightmare. But it was just a second.

“Morpheus.” you said it in a different way. None of you knew how or why, but it was different. No one would pronounce it's own creator's name like this. “I knew you were free, but... I never thought you would look out for me.”

“You are one of the major arcanas. Of course I would search for you just like the others.” you forgot how his voice sounded like. For some reason, you felt it reverberate in your fake body. It made you shiver from head to toe. “May I ask what you were doing in there?”

Your smirk was genuine, but you looked away from him. “No, you can't. I bet you could know the answer without questioning. And I'm sure you already know it wasn't anything good.” you didn't said in a rude way. It was just the truth. Nor that it should be easy to talk to your lord like this.

“Why? Why am I supposed to expect the worse of you?” you chuckle. Arms crossed, stared in his dark eyes. There was so many answers you wanted to give him. So many things you could actually use against him. Your tongue was tickling, mind rushing.

“You must've heard about the things my brother has been doing.” something on his face changed. Not exactly changed. He was emotionless, as always. But his eyes were certaintly more expressive. “We had only three years, but you must remember how he was the one I most got along with. Other than that...”

You hated to say it. One step closer, without looking at him again. You couldn't avoid getting heavy bad feelings whenever you admitted the fact.

“You created me. You know exactly how my inner is. You know my soul as much as I don't know yours.” your voice was low, face as harsh as your words. You broke the distance between your face and his, only inches away, staring at his eyes. “So fuck off. I'm not going back to the Dreaming.”

Simply, you cut all the chitchat he wanted to give you. With the intimacy a creation can have with it's creator, and all the disrespect too.

Morpheus was a pure rock, standing without any sight of emotion. But, inside of his mind, he trembled. Angry, feeling powerless as he noticed how, yes, not even one single being that once he ruled would obey him now. Not even Lucienne would be as obedient as she was before. Nothing would be like a century ago. It was obvious, but something inside him broke everytime he noticed this becoming a fact. And that, that was the last spark to make him snap.

“Who do you think you are?”

You knew what was coming. You didn't stepped back, you didn't hesitated. But you were scared. Afraid. He's your creator, yes. He is your lord, your master. You only lived with him for three years, and for a hundred one, he was captivated. Who knows what was going through his mind?

He wasn't any different from the first time you saw him, when you received the breath of life. He was still tall, plain, so powerful that not even the ground could handle it alone. And now, he was angry. More than on all the arguments you had before — countless ones.

“I got away for an century, but I'm back now. And I'm still your lord. You should refer to me as it.” his normally rough voice sounded more harsh. You could feel it inside your body, echoing with the loud thunders. “Ask for forgiveness.”

“Don't make me tell you to fuck off again, Morpheus.”

“I never gave you permission to call me by my name.” rougher.

“What should I call you then? Oneiros?”

The world stopped. The rain didn't fell, all the crowd around seemed to freeze. You didn't had a heart, but something inside you skipped a beat. You regretted instantly. He stared intensely in your eyes, cosmos and supernovas exploding on his iris — exploding inside you. He didn't moved an inch; yet, you felt your body burning. Your inside getting unmade, his power coming back to him.

“I would rather not see life's light anymore, than coming back to that fucking realm.” your voice was louder. People started to look at you two, as you started sweating and trembling. Your being was getting shattered with his anger.

“It is your duty to stay at the Dreaming. You were made to it. If you don't want to do your job, then, yes-” he didn't wanted to say that. “You won't see life's light anymore.”

You weren't scared. Getting unmade was better than getting tortured (what an angry Endless would do to torture another immortal being? You didn't wanted to figure out), or forced to come back to your duties. You wouldn't give up, even as you felt life run out of your body, you still would fight for, well, yourself. “You can live, Morpheus. You loved, hated, celebrated and cried. But not us.”

“We are doomed to a cruel eternity. You made us this way. To suffer, and to punish, but this is not fair!” tears popping in your eyes, you raised one hand, pointing a finger to him. “You want to talk about duty? About being a lord? Then why you never thought about this? About us?!”

About all the ugly nightmares he made before. About the most funny one, Corinthian. About the sweet Gault. About the serene Fiddler's Green. And all the others.

“I don't care about your name, nor who you are. You never gave me any respect or even attention. You were never here, you never cared about me.” opening your arms wide, you laughed at the irony and misery these words carried. “So yeah, fuck off! Three times!”

“It wasn't my fault.” at this point, he didn't cared. About being polite or respected. His power stopped getting in action, you breathing in and out slowly, feeling yourself complete again. “You and your partners really believed I was gone by my own will?”

Your brother was the very first one of you to know the news. He also were the only one to get involved with the raptors. You didn't supported him on that, but didn't went against it too. You were still confused how your creator could be captured so easily. Above that, all of sudden you were free, as Corinthian said.

“I'm not talking about this century, Morpheus. I'm talking about my three first years of life. About all the life of my, partners, as you said.” it was surprising that he didn't got your point, and you showed it with your tone. “You always neglected my kind. You simply never cared about any of us.”

“That is not true.”

“Yes it is!” said way too loud. You looked around as people stared at you, and gave them a little smile; most of them familiar faces. It wasn't the first time you were partying in that district. “I had enough time to talk to all of them. Everyone complained about the same thing. How none of us wanted the duty you gave us; how we envied every single being that could actually live.”

He knew that. Deep down, in that little place where all his creations were connected to him, he knew and felt everything you said. And that made you angrier.

“Fucking hell, I don't even know if you care! Tell me, Morpheus, am I talking all of this only for you to ignore?” you lowered your voice, frowning with vulnerability.

He only kept looking at you, always in your eyes. Took a deep breath, and swallowed his pride down his throat.

“What do you want me to do, then?” he shrugged. “If I turn all the nightmares into dreams, or let them live in the waking world. What will be of the bad men you need to haunt? I would have to create new nightmares, only to have the same issues?”

“I don't fucking care about being rational right now, Morpheus!” you almost screamed. One drip of rain fell in your cheek, but you kept looking at him, offended. “Just fucking try to feel something! Just... Fucking pretend to, at least!”

“Lower your voice.” it was a command.

“No. I'm not lowering my voice. I'm not fucking holding me back!” demonstrated it with your body, with exaggerated gestures. “I'm not turning into your subordinate. We shouldn't be ruled like this. Tell me, do you fucking treat dreams like you treat us?”

He rolled his eyes.

He fucking rolled his eyes.

And you raised an arm. Fist closed, trembling in the air, as in a little second you realized what you were going to do — he wasn't one of the assholes you bumped into the clubs. And he made you feel it again, sending a wave of shock inside you. You shivered as the cold rain started pouring, accompanying your own body getting electrified by your creator's powers.

“You have only two choices. Returning with me to the Dreaming, or saying goodbye to all of this.” he raised his hand, ignoring your closed fist. With his palm turned to the raining sky, he stared at you. “What do you want to come back? I shall give you.”

You weren't prepared for this answer. It was fucking democracy, and that you didn't expected. But, instead of being a good thing, it made your tears come harder. “You still don't get it”.

You put down your arm, giving two steps back. Biting your lip, you looked away, trying to not get too emotional, even if it was quite impossible to you.

“We want what all of you have. Freedom to live. To laugh, and cry, and drink, and fuck. I mean, we can still work before getting fun, right? Isn't it what all of this people have been doing?” you looked around.

Drunk friends walking side by side with a business man. People with briefcases, others with bags, others in uniforms. Coming to or from work. A man in a suit even walked by, talking on the phone that he was going straight to a bar.

“But, above all of this...” you stared at the ground, feeling his gaze upon you. Hugged yourself, starting to get wet from the rain. “I think... All we need is your attention.”

Dark eyes narrowed, analyzing the one who still kept staring at the ground. His many years of experience and wiseness were speaking louder.

“A 'thank you'. Or, 'well done'. Anything would be enough. I mean, before. Not now.” you bite your lip, hesitating, words burning to be said. “Now, I don't know. But... I know all this time we all missed you.”

Then you looked at him again. Didn't expected anything at all, and that what you received. Emotionless as always. But the little tease on his tone; “Really? Everyone?” made you rise an eyebrow.

“Yeah. Everyone.” including me, it meant. Taking a deep breath, you smiled, rain soaking both of you.

Dream was thinking. Deeply pondering. His gaze darted off, lost on his thoughts, unreadable. He did recognize he neglected the nightmares, and this one was special. A new creation he didn't got time to settle in, and didn't got the best examples. Then, he just sighed. “What do you want from me?”

You weren't ready for it. Realization hit you, you actually were looking for that question without knowing. You opened your mouth, speechless, staring at his black coat as you couldn't raise your eyes. There was a lot of things you could ask, but you couldn't think or say anything.

“Attention?” he suggested, even if it was insensitive. “Freedom?”

Your eyes lit up with hope and happiness, getting closer again, looking at him like a pleading dog. “I swear I will do my job. Just... Just give me free time here. To all of us.” you didn't noticed your arrogance getting washed with the rain. “And take care of us like you do with all the Dreaming.”

“I can't make promises for all the nightmares, but I swear I'll think about what you said.” this time you felt a bit of kindness in his tone, but he was still like a stone, even under the rain. “Now, please, talk about yourself. I'll give your freedom, but it'll take time. These are your wishes only?”

“I...” you hesitated. Blinking fast, looked away, a little red coming to your face. Dream got concerned about what was coming, but his silent got filled with curiosity. “We didn't had much time together. So... I would like to ask for it too.”

“You want time with me?” he wanted for you to be specific, you noticed. That made you stare angrily, almost pissed off. “Perhaps I can arrange it. Would that be all?”

You were going to give him some of your characteristic poison at his curiosity and subtle attempt to make you confess whatever he thought you wanted, but you gave up. There were more important things to me talked about there, under the rain.

“I'm sure you're not asking any of this shit to the others. Why me? Why I'm the only one with options and requirements?” crossed arms, raising an eyebrow. He shifted his weight on his feet, and looked away for a second.

“You are young. I know my mistakes with the others, and I also know all of them pretty well.” then his gaze changed. Something became softer; whether it was for the subject, or any thought of his. “I want to try with you. To be present and to listen to you. This way, I'll be better with the next nightmares. I hope you're okay with that.”

Yes, yes you were. More than you could possibly expect you to be. It was frustrating to see yourself giving up from all your walls, so desperate for any sign of affection from him. “With what? Being your scapegoat for redemption? No, I'm not okay with that. But it's better than nothing”.

And he smiled. Subtly, only one corner lifting, his eyes with fondness. Damn, you weren't ready to see him smiling for the very first time. He seemed to notice that, and got even more amused.

He lifted a hand, slowly placing it in your cheek. And with thunder and cold breezes, you felt your face burn. Locked your gaze on his, surprised, frozen by the first physical contact you both have ever shared.

“I'm genuine. I do want to try. So, please, allow me to.” you could barely breathe as his expressions were actually expressive, not the old plain thing. It was a lot, seeing him being emotional for the first time. “Forgive me for my absence. Captured or not. All I want is to redeem myself.”

With the other hand, he used the tip of his fingers, gently, to brush some sticky wet hair out of your forehead. You almost stepped back, still processing that he was actually touching you. “Is there anything else I can give you? I do not wish to buy your forgiveness; earn it, perhaps. I'm just trying to be...”

“Kind?” you suggested as he didn't seem to find the word. He agreed with a smile that made you shake from head to toe. And guess what? He got worried. “I'm fine. It's just the rain.”

“The sky is certainly pouring, you should go. I'm sorry for interrupting your plans, shall we meet tomorrow?” you agreed with your head after long-lasting seconds of trying to think. “Thank you for this opportunity. Now, if you allow me...”

Holy fucking endless shit, you thought. Only thought, because you couldn't even move, completely paralyzed with shock.

The Lord of the Dreams was embracing you. Arms in wet cloth squeezed tight, and you could feel his chin above your head, rain falling down his body to yours, and to the ground. You felt everything. Your senses became totally aware, could hear every breath and feel every touch — whether from the raindrops, or his. All at once, you got yourself remembering every time you imagined this moment. The moment you would feel Morpheus. When you would touch him, and be certain that, yes, he is not just a dream. He's real. And he's there.

He was there. You felt it as you wrapped your arms around his waist. It was not imagination or daydreams, it was Dream itself, chest moving against your face on his wet overcoat as he breathe. Then, just for the sake of humor — or because you said your thoughts without noticing —, you whisper: “I could totally kiss you right now.”

He was surprised. Of all kinds of requests and curious things a nightmare could ask, a kiss would never be on the list. But, well, there was nothing bad that could happen. Actually, he would win way much more with it than you. So he touched your face again. Gently, raising your eyes to his. You couldn't believe it, and you couldn't react to it.

It felt like slow motion as he approached your faces, closing his eyes as if it wasn't an unexpected and uncomfortable moment. You froze as your lips touched under the rain. He was delicate, taking his own time to adjust to you, and for you to adjust to him. You didn't had to move for your lips to fit perfectly, Morpheus taking yours on his, slow and focused, waiting for you.

And you answered it.

Hands on his shoulders, which started sliding to different places as you took his lips hungrily. Not because you were crazy to have him in a bed, but for the fact that you wanted to feel more of him.

He's here, you kept repeating to yourself. He's finally here.

None of you cared when tongues started locking, both exploring and dancing. Your hands touched where they were allowed — wet neck, hair, face, under the coat to reach the back, down the arms to the hands —, never stopping and never getting enough. Dream was calm, cupping your face on his hands, then sliding one down to your waist. You only parted when air ran out your lungs, not opening your eyes as you breathe still close to each other. You almost, almost held his hand, tugging on the sleeve, the other one craving nails at the wet cloth of his shoulders. He's here, repeating in your mind. And he, he was smiling, leaning towards your forehead.

“We have a lot to talk about.” he whispered. “In our next meeting, of course. Not now, under the rain”.

You couldn't answer. Feelings swirled on your mind, so many things to process and register. But you smiled. You smiled because you were happy. He's here.

“I called you by Morpheus a lot of times.” whispered too, recognizing the delicacy of the moment.

“Don't let anyone know this. It will be our secret.” damn, you liked how he said it.

But it was time to leave. You both looked like stray wet cats, the streets only filled by people with umbrellas or cars. Thunders and lightings were violent, the rain getting heavier. You would stay there forever anyways. But he was moving away, feeling as fingers slide to release each other. And as he got away, your feelings were being taken from you. Stay, you wanted to say. You were gone for one century; please, stay.

“We must part our ways now. Don't worry, I said I would give you whatever you asked. I'll do it.” he meant you would see each other again. It was a promise, a vow. Something you both wanted to believe. A little spark of hope, something new and, in some sort of way, naive, to take care of.

As you didn't answered, he only agreed with his head, bowing slightly. Avoiding your look, sand rose from the ground, swirling around him with raindrops.

“Morpheus! I... I did something bad.” his gaze instantly fell upon you, the sand slowing down. “I killed and I gutted. Only bad men! But I did it.”

His face could fall to the ground. He was shocked, horrified. Disappointed. And he made sure you would notice that. Then he faded in sand, not caring if ordinary people would see it. You stood there. Soaked wet, confused. But smiling. Smiling like a fool, touching your lips, not believing what just happened.

Maybe killing men wasn't the something bad you did.

I know, that's a lot of rain. I thought about making it rain later, but, hey, who doesn't love pneumonia?

Please please pleeease, tell me what you think about this. About the reader, about my representing of Morpheus, anything. I really need your opinions.

Hope you enjoyed it as much as I did!

And as I always say, English is not my first language and I'm a self-taught. Please forgive any grammatical errors. See ya! 💙

[full-of-roman-angst-trash]

Please, Don’t Ever Leave Me

This is a happy birthday fanfic for @layschips12. Sorry that’s it’s late, I hope you like it.

Pairings: Analogical, Background Roceit, Background Queerplatonic Intruality

Warnings: Depression, Anxiety, Bullying, Self Deprecation, Minor Panic Attack,  Cursing, The Rest is Fluff.

This fanfic includes: Nb!Logan, Trans!Roman, Neopronouns!Janus (Ve/ver)

Word Count: 2,535

Virgil and Logan have known one another since they were 2. They met since their parents were friends with one another; they quickly became friends. They practically grew up together. 

They were always there for one another. Virgil always helped Logan when they were stressed out, overwhelmed, having trouble with their emotions, forgetting to care for themselve, or struggling to be productive. He was there for Logan when in they’re last year of middle school, Logan was diagnosed with Major Depression.

Logan also tried their best to be there for Virgil. They stood up for him when others tried to pick on him. They helped him when he was having family issue. They helped Virgil when he had to go to crowded places or when he was scared/panicking. They were there for Virgil when he was diagnosed with Social Anxiety in their first year of high school.

Of course, when they couldn’t be there for one another they had their other friends to check on them.

They met Roman in 4th grade. Logan and Virgil where walking down the hall when they saw a group of 5-7 kids gather around a specific spot. At first they didn’t think anything of it, but when they got closer and heard someone crying; they quickly stopped walking. They turned to see that these kids were all making fun of a younger looking girl on the floor. 

This small girl was a black haired Asian kid with dark brown eyes. Light freckles were peppered all along her warm ivory skin. She was relatively short and despite her skinny structure, you can tell she did some sort of exercise. 

The second they realized that this group of kids were bullying this younger kid, they quickly intervened. However, they didn’t became friends with her until a couple week later, when the three of them were put in a group project together. A few years later they found out that Roman, was actually a transboy. 

They met Remus at a sleepover in Roman’s house shortly after. However, for the longest time the two of them weren’t really close to Remus since despite being twins, Roman and Remus didn’t go to the same school. Due to Remus’ poor behavior he was put in a special school for difficult kids. They became a lot closer in college since Virgil and him ended up going to the same school.

Patton joined their little group in 6th grade when he transferred to their school half way through the school year. Patton was a tall, chubby, mexican kid with curly brown hair and hazel eyes. He was a huge social butterfly so he tried making friends with everyone. At first, Virgil didn’t like Patton one bit. But that changed when Patton helped him through an anxiety attack. 

Finally, there was Janus who joined the group when ve started dating Roman. The two began to date in their junior year of High school. At first, ve didn’t really get along with the others but ve eventually got close to them. 

~~~~~~~

Virgil began to have a crush on Logan in middle school. He loved how they were always so smart, kind, passionate, and understanding. He knew that no matter how much they were struggling, Logan would always be there for him. Sadly though, due to his Anxiety, he was afraid to act on these feelings. He didn’t want to lose his friendship with them, so he ignored them.

Of course, it wasn’t easy though. Apparently his little crush was very obvious since the others constantly teased him about it. They also claimed that Loan liked him back but he was hesitant to believe them.

So despite how much they pushed him to do it, Virgil refused to confess. But that only encouraged the others to try a different strategy. 

Instead of trying to convince Virgil to confess, they would convince Logan. Thankfully for the group, after a few weeks of bothering them, they caved.

Roman, the self proclaimed love expert help set up the date. He had chosen a Saturday fall evening for Logan to confess on, since he claimed that it was the perfect weather and scenery. He told Logan the plan they had to follow for the day and send them off.

Logan walked to Virgil’s college dorm and knocked on the door. They were wearing a black suit with a blue shirt underneath and a blue tie. 

Remus opens the door and smirks, “Virgin, your lover is here,” he calls out.

“Yeah, yeah, I know. No one else who visits us knocks!” Virgil walks to the door and blushes when he sees Logan.

Logan blushes as well. Virgil was wearing a a dark purple suit with a black shirt underneath and a black tie with a spider web design on it. 

“Are you guys going to leave or are you just going to continue eye fucking one another?” Remus loudly cuts through their moment.

They both turn bright red and Virgil punches Remus in the arm, “Shut it! We’re going!”

Remus laughs as Virgil walks out of the dorm, taking Logan’s hand.

“I’ll be back later.”

“Okay Emo!” Remus waves before closing the door. 

The date was going amazing. They started by going to watch a scary movie that had recently came out since Virgil wanted to watch it for a while now. Once the movie was over they took a walk in the park before eating at Virgil’s favorite restaurant. They ate some food and by the time they left it was dark outside.

“Today’s been amazing Lo. Thanks for taking me out.”

They nod, “Of course Virge. Before we go home can we go to one last place?”

“Sure,” Virgil smiles more, “Where do you wanna go?”

“I’m sorry but I’m going to have to retain that information from you. I want it to be a surprise. Also it’s want to not wanna.”

Virgil laughs, “Alright, alright. Lead the way then.”

“Close your eyes.” They say with a soft smile

Virgil chuckles, “Alright then,” He closes his eyes

They begin to lead him to the last destination of their date. The place where they will confess.

“We’re here.” They say softly as they come to a stop.

Virgil slowly opens his eyes and he lets out a gasps. They were on top of a hill. On the hill were tons of beautiful flowers. What was the most breathtaking though, was the view of the night sky. You could see thousands of stars and the beautiful full moon.

Logan had to admit that Roman’s decision to take Virgil here was adequate and ingenious. 

“Wow.” Virgil mumbles, dazed from the beauty in front of him.

Logan chuckles softly, “Do you like it? It’s beautiful, right?

He nods, “Yeah, I love it. Thanks for bringing me here Lo.”

Logan smiles softly, “Of course,” They take a deep breath, “I, actually brought you here so that I can tell you something.”

A sudden wave of anxiety hits Virgil. Endless worst case scenarios and toxic thoughts fill his head. Before he knows it, he’s hyperventilating and shaking. Tears blur his visions and he can’t even look at Logan.

Logan frowns softly and gently cups his lover’s cheek.

“Virgil, can you hear me?”

A small nods accompanied by heavy breathing and sobs is the answer they get but it was more then enough for them.

“Alright good. It’s okay, everything’s okay. Just focus on me, clear you head and breath. I’ve got you.”

They spoke in a soft calming voice, one that made Virgil’s head clear up a bit almost immediately. Logan holds him close, whispering sweet nothings in his ear and running him through a breathing exercise. 

Eventually they manage to calm him down.

“S-sorry.... I didn’t mean to interrupt you like that...” Virgil mumbles quietly and ashamedly.

Logan shakes their head, “It’s okay Vee. You don’t have to apologize.”

“Okay,” Virgil caves quickly, “Well, what were you gonna say?”‘

Logan takes a deep breath before gently letting go of Virgil. They stand in font of him and holds his hands.

“Virgil, we’ve been friends for 17 years now and I cherish our friendship so much. However, I can’t help but be unsatisfied with our current relationship statues.”

A blush dusts Virgil’s cheeks, “What do you mean?”

They take a deep breath before continuing, “I have romantic feelings towards you Virgil. I have for a while and I was wondering if you would accept me as your romantic partner.”

For a second, Virgil can feel his stomach fill with butterflies and his heart pound out of his chest. He stays quiet for a few seconds, trying to make sure that what he just heard was real.

Once his brain fully comprehends the situation he threw himself into Logan’s arms and started crying.

“Yes! YES YES YES YES YES! A million times yes!”

Logan held him close and laughed, blushing and tearing up a bit, making a mental note to thank Roman tomorrow. 

~~~~~~~

Logan and Virgil stayed together for the rest of college. They eventually moved in together when they were both 23 and they were happy. Yes, they had their arguments here and there but it never got too serious. They had a nice healthy relationship. They continued talking to their group of friends and life was well.

Virgil is now 27 and Logan is 28. He woke up in the morning to find that his significant other wasn’t there. He was a bit shocked but just assumed that they went off to work earlier like they did sometimes. He got up and started off his day. 

He got a knock on his door at 12:00 which surprised him since he didn’t remember inviting anyone over. He gets up and walks to the door, opening it to see Remus and Patton.

“Oh, hey guys. What are you two doing here?” He asks, pleasantly surprised. 

“We’re here to hang out with you emo!!” Remus announces loudly.

Patton laughs softly, “Yup!! Sorry for the suddenness but I got a day off work and Rem wanted to come visit you!”

Patton and Remus have been in a gueerplatonic relationship for a while now. They moved in together right next door to Roman and Janus, mostly cause the twins wanted to stay close to one another.

“It’s alright, but can I ask why?”

Remus lets himself in, dragging Patton in with him, “Cause we want to Virgin!”

“I hate that nickname,’ Virgil mumbles as he closes the door.

The day was going amazing. The three of them played some games, baked cookies, made lunch, watch some dramas, and even painted each others nails. It was 7 p.m when Remus received a message. He checked his pohne and then smiled brightly.

“Hey, Mr.Sunshine,” Remus called to Virgil.

“What?” Virgil turns to him.

“Let’s go out somewhere real quick.”

Virgil checks the time, “But it’s pretty late and besides I have to call Logan, he should have been home by now”

“Kiddo, come on! It’ll be quick! Besides, I’m pretty sure Logan is fine, he’s probably just decided to work a bit overtime.”

He thinks for a bit before giving in, “Fine. Who’s car are we taking?”

“Mine!” Remus says, taking out his keys, “Let’s go!”

They walk out of the house and get into Remus’ car.

The whole car ride Remus and Patton avoid any questions Virgil has, which infuriates the clueless kid.

They park in a parking lot near a hill that Virgil immediately recognized. 

“Why are we here?” He asks cautious.

Remus stops the car and gets out, “Please just follow us. Everything will be explained soon.”

Patton also gets out and holds out a hand for Virgil. He hesitantly takes it and lets himself be taken out of the car and led to the hill.

When they make it to the top they stop walking.

“Hey, kiddo, we’re gonna go get something real quick, can you stay here?”

Virgil starts to fidget with his sleeve getting more and more anxious by the second.

“S-sure...” He mutters out weakly.

They both smile at him softly and reassuringly before walking off in the direction of the car.

To try and stay calm, Virgil looks at the starts, taking shaky deep breaths and continuing to fidget.

Minutes that feel like hours pass before suddenly, footsteps start approaching Virgil from behind. He immediately tuns around, alarmed. But to his surprise, he it’s Logan. They're wearing a nice suit, one that looks like Janus’ mom made. After all, such an intricate Victorian design can only come from the best designer in town.

As soon as Virgil recognizes Logan he calms down, blushing at how wonderful they look. 

“Hey, love. You scared me,” Virgil says with a soft smile.

They return the smile, “Sorry, dearest. I actually have a question for you.”

“Oh? What is it?” Virgil suddenly feels anxious all over again. Afraid that they want to break up with him.

They take a deep breath and take out a small box from their pocket before getting down on one knee.

“You're the sun in my shine, The spark in my plug, The heart to my beat, The day to my night, The twinkle in my eye, The hot to my spicy, The yin to my yang, The soul to my mate.Need I say more? Now all I want to hear from you, Is to say, "I do."

“Virgil, will you marry me?”

Virgil can’t believe his eyes or ears. It this real? It has to be. He’s crying. He can feel the wind through his hair and the ground below his feet. He can see the stars light up the sky and the moon shine down on them. He could hear the quite clamor of the animals around them.

He nods, “YES!”

Now they’re both crying. Logan puts the ring on Virgil before standing up. They share a warm hug and a perfect kiss. 

They stand there in each other's arms. 

“Please, don’t ever leave me,” Virgil mumbles into Logan’s chest. 

“I won’t. I promise,” Logan whispers softly, kissing his lover’s head gently.

Suddenly a loud cheer comes from a tree near them.

“IT WORKED! CONGRATS YOU TWO!” Roman rushed out from behind the tree, smiling brightly.

Logan gently lets go of Virgil and turns to their friend, “I THOUGHT WE AGREED THAT YOU WOULD WAIT BACK IN THE HOUSE!”

The other sighs, “I know! But I couldn’t help myself!” He whines.

Janus suddenly comes out as well and grabs vis’ husbands hand.

“Sorry about him. I tried to hold him back but he somehow managed to escape my grip,” Ver explains, trying to tug Roman back to where they were before.

VIrgil sighs fondly, “It’s alright Jan. Anyway, are the others here too?”

Roman nods excitedly, “Yup! Rem! Pat! You two can come out!”

The two of them do so

“Hey, congrats Kiddos! I’m happy for you guys!” Patton says cheerfully.

The two of them blush and thank him.

“Welp! Let’s go home! We have a party to start!” The twins say at the same time. 

And with that, they start making their way to Roman’s and Janus’ house.

[tweefunk]

Top 11 Records of 2016

Yeah, top 11. Fite me irl bruh.

I have opinions. Validate me.  

* = “I wrote about this before, go scroll down and read what I wrote before you lazy sod.”

11. NOFX-First Ditch Effort (Skate-Punk/Rock) Recorded while Fat Mike was still using drugs, NOFX’s most serious effort to date tackles his impending visit to rehab, and public embrace of cross-dressing. It’s good to see the perpetually juvenile outfit take on adulthood and more introspective topics while simultaneously pushing themselves as composers. 

While no one was expecting NOFX to write the next Pet Sounds, they secure their legacy by refusing to burp out the same old shit 30 years into their career. They also temper what could be maudlin or self-righteous with just the perfect dose of their screwball humor.

Unfortunately, they cross the line into the ham-fisted on the overwrought, hyper-apocalyptic and preachy album-closer “Generation Z,” which features an extended slam-poetry/spoken word outro that doesn’t scan as being all that far removed from Jonathan Larson’s brilliant piss-take of the genre in Rent. Sadly, NOFX is definitely not joking here.

10. Bayside-Vacancy (Pop-punk/Emo/Alternative)* A mall-punk tour de force. Anthony Raneri channels his inner broadway star to craft not just Bayside’s best-ever record, but one of the few worthwhile records from Warped alumni in the last few years. 

9. American Football-LP2 (Emo/Post-rock/Experimental)

If the only conception you’ve ever had of emo is the swoopy-haired fad of the Hot Topic years, this the perfect record to change that perception.

After a nearly 20-year hiatus AF is back with a much more focused sound. Unlike their debut which was plagued by endless instrumental sections that diluted the song’s impact, LP2 devotes its energy to fairly conventional song structures that are boosted by layers of intricate guitar interplay.

Their debut, while influential, has been massively overrated due to their sudden disappearance and the legion of copycat artists that took their Television-on-downers guitar stylings and crafted an Emo Revival in the first part of the decade.

It’s rare that a reunion album delivers on its promise, but this is a rare exception. Definitely the prettiest record of the year.

8. Car Seat Headrest-Teens of Denial (Indie/Alternative/Rock)

Nauseatingly self-aware, clever-clever, ironic bullshit for hipster millennials who’ve never heard of my fact checking cuz. Dude probably laughs at his own jokes on the regs.

It’s also jaw-droppingly self-assured in scope and vision, not just for an indie garage-rock album, but any post-Radiohead album. Will Toledo is on some next-level shit here and he’s just getting warmed up.

The most powerful moments shine through when Toledo takes on collegiate know-it-all hippies on “Destroyed by Hippie Powers” and his own existential dread and immaturity on “The Ballad of Costa Concordia.” Another great, and all too honest, pop-hook delves into the unfortunate precautions necessary to deal with your idiot friends on “(Joe Gets Kicked out of School for Using) Drugs With Friends (But Says This Isn’t a Problem).” Spoiler: It’s Drugs.

Unfortunately, these moments of clarity are many times obscured by unnecessarily drawn-out arrangements, intentional vocal obfuscation (mumble-core anyone?), and single songs that jam two or three complete and disparate compositional ideas together rather than separating them into their own tracks.

7. Deerhoof-The Magic (Experimental/Noise/Punk)*

The first track is called “The Devil and his Anarchic Surrealistic Retinue.” That’s all I really need to tell you.

Take drugs, drink coffee, crank volume, party.

6. Joyce Manor-Cody (Emo/Alternative/Pop-punk)

On their list of the most disappointing things of 2016, Pitchfork accused Joyce Manor of sounding like Everclear on this album. I have no idea where that came from as the only similarity between the two acts are a preponderance for power chords and introspective lyrics, hardly unique characteristics in rock music.

However, Cody succeeds because it never tries to force its listener to feel anything. There’s an incredible sense of sadness and longing in this album, but it feels like someone sitting in their living room telling you stories about their life, and having all the disparate pieces fall into place.

The record gets its underdog charm from the simple but tight instrumentation. This sounds like something your friends in High School could have made, but with that extra bit of oomph that lets you know they’re going places.

I wish I had a record like this when I was 16.

5. Touche Amoré-Stage Four (Melodic Hardcore/Emo/Post-Punk)*

If you don’t cry, you: a.) Aren’t a human being, or b.) Have never lost anything or anyone close to you, so check your privilege.

4. A Tribe Called Quest-We Got it From Here...Thank You 4 Your Service (Hip-Hop/Jazz Rap)

On their first record in nearly 20 years, ATCQ give a master class in how to envelop modern sounds without devolving into tone-deaf pandering. Thus, their vintage brand of East-Coast Boom-Bap still sounds fresh, and the modern flourishes sound like an organic evolution.

For the most part, the record strikes a perfect balance between political state-of-the-nation tracks and homages to recently deceased member Phife Dawg. ATCQ make excellent use of guest artists to fill in the gaps and provide one of the most satisfyingly traditional rap records in recent memory. The only mis-step comes with the overly maudlin and un-subtle Phife Dawg tribute “The Donald.”

3. Chance The Rapper-Coloring Book (Hip-Hop/Rap/Pop)

If Kendrick Lamar’s 2015 opus To Pimp a Butterfly was the dark, tortured soul of the continuing struggle for racial equality in America, then Coloring Book is the movement’s pep talk.

Even on the somber moments of reflection, Chance never descends into pessimism. Furthermore, the party jams and love songs never feel contrived or overly sentimental. They feel like an urgent escape from a malicious world where the very act of daring to love yourself, warts and all, is a radical act.

The album also places itself in TPAB’s lineage by basing its composition heavily on gospel music, at times just outright dropping worship songs into the proceedings and littering the lyrics with religious imagery.  

During many of the songs, there are ongoing backup vocals that almost play like crowd noise, giving the feeling that Chance is really just taking technicolored parade of joy through a wasteland of despair. Hell, “No Problem” almost feels like an unintentional homage to that scene in Ferris Beuller’s Day Off where he hijacks a float and leads all of Chicago in a sing-along. You just can't stop fucking smiling.

This is isn’t just a guy singing and rapping at you, he’s inviting you on a journey with him where salvation might not be dogmatic faith, but the ability to accept the blessing of life in whatever form it takes.

2. Kanye West-The Life of Pablo 

If Blonde is the sound of a self-assured genius tinkering until he has the perfect, cohesive message, then TLOP is the sound of an equally talented genius slowly going insane.

Far and away his best production work, Yeezy seems content with ceding a significant amount of the spotlight to others--this conceit was explored further in his set design for the Saint Pablo tour where he usually performed in silhouette and primarily lit the audience--and this results in a slightly more disjointed product than he likely intended. Despite that, he conjures gorgeous soundscapes out of perfectly curated samples and creates an album that would be compelling even as a beat CD. Sadly, as thrilling as the backdrops are, his rapping doesn’t quite reach its potential here

Especially after his hospitalization, Yeezy seems to be in the same place he was in before dropping 2010′s masterpiece My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy. With the tide of public opinion against him, Kanye digs deep and tries to create something so brilliant that no one can doubt him. 

in doing so, knowingly or not, Kanye creates one of the most honest assessments of toxic masculinity since the Violent Femmes’ debut. Not once does he attempt to sugarcoat his narcissistic behavior. In a way he’s almost a tragic figure.  

It’s an eternal quest for redemption that Will Toledo (even though I backhand-complimented his band back there) explains a lot better than me. IDK.

1. Frank Ocean-Blonde (Alt-R&B/Pop/Hip-Hop)*

Art.