#emotionally fulfilling please

[lunarharp]

figured i'd do this again..bit early i guess..

[idiotsonlyevent]

i'm not saying 'chilchuck did nothing wrong,' but i'm becoming increasingly bothered by the framing that the marriage failed because it was 'only his fault,' when his wife did just up and leave, seemingly without saying anything to him or having a conversation about it?

and i know we don't see anything from Her perspective, so maybe she did try, but the fact that he had no idea anything was wrong, despite being fairly present with her and their daughters is i think pretty indicative that she was probably stewing with her frustrations in silence for a long time... like, i'm not pinning the blame on her, but leaving your spouse without saying anything is also not great? especially if it's some sort of 'test'?

like, i think they both Kind Of Messed Up and now there's a stalemate where they're upset, and chilchuck is afraid to make the next move because he doesn't want to upset her further, but the longer he waits, the more frustrated she gets... and so it continues

also, dunmeshi spends SO much time focusing on how we often unintentionally hurt our loved ones, but how there's almost always ways to move past it and grow, so it feels very strange to me when people insist that there's no reason for them to get back together. like if you don't want them to, that's fine! but insisting that there's no way to repair their relationship, or that it's only one person's fault, or that it's unhealthy or whatever... idk, but it doesn't sit right w me.

[instantpansies]

every time i see an oz mutual mention the tin woodman in passing i'm like HRGK I KNOW THAT GUY and i have to hold myself back from tacking a thousand rambling tags on their post that only tangentially has to do with the tin woodman. literally seeing the words right now i am trying to not say the same things i have already said a million times but like THATS MY GUY HES ME HES MY FAVORITE THING EVER AUGH AUGH AUGH!!!

anyways. the masculine urge to hijack every oz post that says the words 'tin woodman' for my own ulterior motives (convince everyone to make nick chopper their favorite guy ever).

[lunarin64art]

Oh Oumeno is one of my favorite ships for Kokichi, and i don't mind your Ougoku (the fact Enyne does look like their lovechild makes it funny)

Oh good I was worried lol

Just didn’t want it to feel like I was forcing my AU on you 😅

[emperor-king-jess]

Jjk fandom be a lil too horny. I would like to see fics and works exploring the world and sorcery only to scroll through 5 pages of fics telling me reader is Nanamis slut x Gojos blindfold x fisting like DAMN I get it

[novy2sirius]

Astro Notes by Novy

— volume three

Aquarius placements get a rep for being emotionless but are often quite sensitive but just really good at hiding their emotions

It’s not as commonly talked about as Leo placements but Libra/7h placements make amazing actors as well — example: zendaya is a 7h sun in western astrology

Asteroids in astrology are important but your regular natal chart planets, houses, aspects, degrees, and signs will tell you the most about your life and self

8h Venus' have the deepest most unconditional love for people. It doesn’t matter what someone does to them they will still have care for them and want the best for them no matter how toxic. They genuinely can’t help it

People with their North Node in the 12th house may experience lots of periods of isolation throughout their life

If you dream of dating your celebrity crush and have a Libra/Leo Sun, 5h/7h Sun, 5h/10h Venus, Venus at 5°/17°/29° or Sun to Venus aspects there is a possibility it could happen. Don’t lose hope — example: hailey bieber’s venus at 29°

I personally haven’t seen many same sign couples last long term. Not sure why

I’ve never met someone with Chiron in the 4th/8th/12th house that’s had an easy life. These people tend to struggle a lot emotionally and be very misunderstood by society/people in general. Even people who have known them for years

Your North Node isn’t your purpose alone it’s your potential. You have the choice to fulfill it or not. If you don’t you will reincarnate over and over until you do

Having more square/oppositions than trines/sextiles doesn’t make you a bad person. I’ve seen some people say this and I find it odd. Squares show obstacles we endure and oppositions show tensions/confusions we face in our life but just like Mars and Saturn energy they’re not inherently “bad” as these challenges can help you grow and you can turn them into positive energy if you choose to work through them properly

You’ll often be more attracted to the energy of the opposite sign of your 7th house than the 7h sign itself — example: if your 7h is in the sign sagittarius you might actually be attracted to gemini energy more often

The house your Sun is in can show you where you’re meant to shine and be successful — example: Sun in the 7th house can mean being successful in the arts or having lots of romantic relationships and ending up in a happy marriage one day

Your 2nd house sign can tell you what’s most important for you to value in this life — example: if you have your 2h in the sign cancer then you should value your empathy/emotions and use it for good

Neptune is associated with nostalgia. People with placements like Neptune in the 1st house or 3rd house may struggle a lot with nostalgia and remembering certain memories better than they actually were

People with a water sun and libra moon are usually extremely musically talented in some way — examples: ariana grande, justin bieber, madison beer, olivia rodrigo

Most same (sun) sign couples never work out in the long run. Same moon sign couples (especially in sidereal) are more likely to last

The 12th house is associated with catfishing because it’s the house of illusion and impersonations. Lots of people who have gotten catfished (long term) before usually have Mercury or Uranus in the 12th house for this reason

Mars can tell how you are in the bedroom — example: a Virgo mars will please you a lot since the sign is associated with acts of service. They’re definitely the type to make you finish first

Someone with lots of Libra energy in their chart will often hold grudges because they seek harmony and when someone brings lots of negativity to their life it’s unlikely they’ll put up with it long term contrary to the popular “people pleaser” reputation

I’ve personally noticed Capricorn Venus’ always make the best love songs

Check Mercury/Uranus’ house for insight on what you should post on social media to become more famous — example: mercury/uranus in the 10h could mean you can pretty much become famous from any type of video, mercury/uranus in the 7h could mean becoming famous from fashion/beauty/dancing/art videos or from posting with your romantic partner online, etc

Leo’s usually always have 3 or more children unless they’re infertile

Everyone talks about how Capricorn/Aquarius placements can show delays but Taurus placements can as well as the sign is associated with slowness. example — a taurus ascendant may glow up later than most (i’ve noticed this seems to be more true in my sidereal chart than western though)

Aries Venus’ do fall for people quickly but they can also move on very fast if you hurt them a lot. They hold grudges

A lot of Cancer’s have toxic relationships with Leo’s. Not sure why

Saturn is actually a planet that can give insight our job as well but not many people talk about it. It is the planet of “work”. example — saturn in the 2nd house can indicate being a singer, accountant, chef/baker, model, fashion designer, etc

Venus at 2° can indicate gaining wealth slowly over time. Most of these people gain wealth sometime in their late 20’s - 40’s

People with Venus to Jupiter aspects often end up being wealthy in life. Especially when it’s trine or square I’ve noticed

The house the Moon or Neptune is in can show where you have the most influence over others. example — moon in 5th house can indicate being a very influential actor

Everyone talks about Saturn in the 7th house being a bad placement but I think it’s very beneficial in the long run. Pluto in the 7th house is the real challenge. They often experience more toxic relationships than any other placement I’ve noticed

Aquarius Midheaven’s do NOT like 9-5 jobs. They hate being bossed around and often are more successful in careers where they have freedom and can share their own ideas with the world rather than be an employee

Leo Venus’ (and Leo placements in general) love very hard. It’s why the body part Leo is associated with is the heart

Gemini Ascendant’s will NOT marry someone who isn’t making them consistently laugh their ass off or who is too serious

Pisces placements are often great friends and really good at understanding people

Leo placements are known for being loyal but I actually find that they’re only loyal to the people in their circle not people outside of it that they’re not super close with

Cancer Saturn’s are very likely to spiral into a depression if they can’t let go of their past

I’ve noticed a lot Taurus Mars will apologize and then continuously do the thing they apologized for without changing

Aries stelliums are the biggest daredevils. They often love amusement parks and will ride all the scariest rides

Libra/7h Moons can make a lot of money from acting in romance films — example: leonardo dicaprio in the titanic

Juno in the 7h/8h is a green flag. These people tend to be very loyal partners

Sagittarius/Pisces actually have the bigger egos since they’re ruled by Jupiter the planet of abundance and the Sun represents the ego. Abundance of ego

Your solar return charts can tell about annual themes/energy, your lunar return charts can tell about monthly themes/energy, and your transits can tell about daily themes/energy

Mars/Pluto can show the things people tend to envy about us — example: people with mars/pluto in the 5h/7h should make sure they pick a very loyal partner because they tend to attract home-wreckers that try to ruin their relationships more than anyone else

People with Mars in the 7th house are always fruity. Like I don’t think I’ve met someone with this placement that isn’t at least bi

Libra/7h moons will legit move to a different location to be with the person they’re in love with. They love very deeply

Aries moons got anger issues for days but they’re really good friends to have because they won’t be the type to stay quiet when someone says something mean about you. They’re ride or die for their friends

Leo Jupiter’s (especially in sidereal) tend to have such amazing acting talent that people forget they’re watching a film instead of a real life tape

Capricorn placements often have the reputation of being hard workers but let’s talk about Aries placements. When they want something they will have it. They never give up, their ambition is insane

[elysiansparadise]

Aspects of Jupiter in the composite chart

🧡Jupiter conjunct Sun: It is a relationship that will give you many positive lessons and in addition to that there will be a lot of growth together over time. They feel happy with each other, even a little luckier if they are together. They see life with better eyes and feel that there is a lot of compatibility in terms of ideals. They feel fulfilled, as if they were lacking nothing either materially or emotionally. They teach each other things and the arrival of the other into their lives is accompanied by blessings and opportunities. Comfortable with each other and do their best to understand each other regardless of existing differences.

🧡Jupiter conjunct Moon: In this relationship there is an abundance of positive emotions, patience, generosity and support. They spread good humor easily and will feel happier and more sensitive in each other's presence. This relationship will bring many positive lessons, a lot of personal and emotional growth, and you will finally feel understood and very loved. Even if they are not very expressive in their daily lives, the other will make them bring out their emotional side and make them see inside their inner world. There will be a lot of love and a strong sense of friendship. They will be able to form a bond of trust and will see each other as reliable. 

🧡Jupiter conjunct Mercury: Both will bring many important and positive lessons in each other's lives. Long, deep conversations await you in which you will feel what it is like to connect with someone on a deep level. They will awaken each other's curiosity, as well as inspire good feelings in each other. Laughs will never be lacking, you will notice how a smile appears on their faces after talking to each other. They will feel that the other appreciates their ideas, they will feel listened to and they will do their best to understand each other regardless of their differences. They will see in each other a good advisor who is always willing to support them.

🧡Jupiter conjunct Venus: Love, understanding and good humor will abound in this relationship. It is likely that both will please the other a lot even without intending to, they will feel happy and very loved by the other. Their love will grow more and more. They will learn positive lessons from this relationship, they will learn what it is to be loved and to love. Whether we see the relationship from the outside or inside, the love and adoration they feel for each other will be obvious. It seems that they both worship each other, that they admire and feel pure affection for each other. 

🧡Jupiter conjunct Mars: Both parts may feel that they achieve more together than they could individually, in addition to having a strong motivation to achieve their goals together. You will feel more animated and energetic with each other. A lot of compatibility and sexual attraction, they will enjoy exploring a lot with each other in the intimate field. They can be very sexual and have sex more frequently than usual or than in previous relationships. This couple will have a very positive vision regarding their future together, they can enjoy doing new activities together. A great indicator of travel and a lot of growth and motivation.

🧡Jupiter conjunct Saturn: Here we find a strong couple, who will constantly seek to grow together, understand each other better and progress together, hand in hand with each other. There is a deep desire to do things well, to give others support and perseverance. This couple will set long-term goals and, with enthusiasm and dedication, they will go after them. They will want to go far together, last a long time by each other's side and achieve many things next to each other. There is a strong desire to see others well, to see them fulfilled and happy. A very mature and stable couple who will be able to overcome obstacles.

🧡Jupiter conjunct Uranus: They feel excited about each other, happy and very optimistic about the idea of ​​a future together. They will experience many great changes next to each other and, with this relationship, they will learn to be more independent. The other will encourage them to be themselves and be authentic, which will bring them great things and opportunities. Both will experience a lot next to each other and will live exciting, fun and new experiences. They will greatly change the way of thinking and living each other's lives, and they will see their arrival as an awakening or a realization.

🧡Jupiter conjunct Neptune: This is a relationship full of idealism, dreams and a tendency to inspire the other greatly. Both will seek to make this relationship something deep and meaningful for both of them, they will seek to know the soul and inner world of the other. They feel a strong spiritual connection, a sense of being perfectly aligned with each other. A lot of idealization and fascination with the other, coming to see themselves as someone great and whom they treasure. They dream big with each other, together they feel that everything is possible and that they can make everything they ever wanted come true.

🧡Jupiter conjunct Pluto: Both will make profound significant changes in the other's life, they will be something new, an impact on the other's life and they can give meaning to many things that seemed foreign to the other. Great source of inspiration and motivation for the other, a relationship in which they empower each other and feel a lot of pride in each other and their relationship. This is a serious and very influential relationship for both parties, they can achieve a lot of success and feel very connected next to each other. A powerful magnetic attraction to the other from the beginning.

🧡Jupiter trine Sun: Good humor abounds in this relationship, they feel more positive with each other. They work very well together in any aspect of life and can achieve and achieve many things side by side. You trust each other a lot and will always want the best for you as a couple. They will support, listen and advise each other. You bring out the best in each other and tirelessly support your partner's dreams and goals. 

🧡Jupiter trine Moon: There is a strong affinity, from the beginning they could feel a lot of liking for each other. They are both kind, gentle and more outgoing with each other. They see each other as each other's teachers and will always give advice if they need it. They are very receptive and understanding of each other's emotions and displays. They may have similar beliefs regarding various aspects of life. They will share a lot together and will be generous in every way.

🧡Jupiter trine Mercury: It's impossible for them to think about each other without letting out a smile. Many long conversations that are not only deep and inspiring, but fun and make them feel comfortable. Ease of resolving any misunderstanding or issue that may arise. They have very similar ways of thinking regarding their ideologies, morals and deeper issues such as religion or spirituality. Huge chances of taking trips together. They feel that they can be very open and transparent with each other.

🧡Jupiter trine Venus: Both of them finds opportunities to grow and expand both individually and together. Good humor, sweetness, laughter and mutual support. They will be each other's confidants, understanding and compassion will flow. They will live many adventures together and learn a lot with each other by their side. Satisfaction in all aspects of the relationship. They will care and seek the well-being of the other. You can see each other as husband/wife material.

🧡Jupiter trine Mars: This is a relationship full of adventure, fun, and strong companionship. They encourage each other to go after what they want, they motivate each other and they feel more energized with each other. They work very well together whatever the project and bring insights and new perspectives to each other. A lot of attraction and sexual affinity. In this relationship they will feel that they make a lot of progress individually and are inspired to grow and improve.

🧡Jupiter trine Saturn: Here there is a perfect mix of energies, this relationship alternates between the seriousness and commitment that both feel, and the joy that they evoke in the other. Growing deep and unconditional support and true admiration for each other. Stability and reliability, both will work hard to make the relationship an enjoyable journey for both. They see themselves together in the long term.

🧡Jupiter trine Uranus: This couple can experience many positive changes since being together, from changes in old and harmful beliefs, to changes in the way they see and live life. They will be taught to appreciate things that previously went unnoticed. They want to teach each other new and positive things about relationships. Lots of travel, fun and a feeling of being at a great point in their lives.

🧡Jupiter trine Neptune: They both feel inspired and delighted with each other. There is a naturally giving, empathetic and devoted attitude towards the other. Life together feels like a dream, because they feel that the other genuinely wants to see them well and supports what they propose and desire. There is a feeling that they connect very well and understand each other like no one else.

🧡Jupiter trine Pluto: They will bring many positive and profound changes to each other's lives, from positive changes in their personalities, ideologies or lifestyles to the feeling that things in their daily lives flow and go in their favor more than when they were not together. Both will feel drawn towards the other and will feel deep admiration and respect for the other.

────────────────✧─────────────────

🧡Jupiter sextile Sun: They inspired each other's trust from the first moment and from the first interaction they could feel their chemistry. The other inspires them, brings them joy, and immediately puts a smile on their face. They will grow together as a couple and will shed some light on the life that the other was leading at that time before they met. Adventures, growth, fun and abundance in all aspects of the relationship are things to expect from this relationship.

🧡Jupiter sextile Moon: In this relationship, both will be willing to always encourage and cheer up the other. They will help each other develop more self-awareness, greater confidence and acceptance of their emotions.They trust each other strongly, knowing that they both have the best intentions for each other. They will teach the other to treat themselves more gently and to relax more.

🧡Jupiter sextile Mercury: This couple communicates in a positive and cheerful way, both give the other an optimistic and a new vision of situations. They both enjoy deep, philosophical conversations, enriching their relationship through mutual learning and intellectual exploration. They will never run out of topics of conversation, as both may feel particularly chatty with the other. They will positively influence the lives of each other.

🧡Jupiter sextile Venus: Both will want to enjoy and share together, they will celebrate each other's victories and happiness. Assets and wealth can be gathered without problem. Both of them will love to spoil each other in every possible way. This relationship makes them feel optimistic, happy and comfortable. They may see an increase in luck in their lives since they met each other. They will look to do little things that always put a smile on each other's faces.

🧡Jupiter sextile Mars: In this relationship there are no empty promises, they will always try to fulfill what they guarantee to the other. Confidence, joy and motivation. Life next to each other will never be draining or tiring. You will notice that the other will subconsciously inspire you to open up to new things, to take those leaps of faith and from all of this will come gratifying memories and experiences for both of you. They feel supported by each other.

🧡Jupiter sextile Saturn: Not only will you want a future together, but you will feel from a deep part of your heart that this is the right person. A desire to grow together, to be there for each other and to achieve many things. Long-term plans that are easily carried out. They feel each other's support when they share their goals and give each other that feeling of companionship and commitment.

🧡Jupiter sextile Uranus: Here both will be fascinated with each other's personality and ways of thinking. They will respect their independence and will cherish each other's authenticity. They will experience great things together, joy and novelty will be important themes in this relationship. Both will feel the freedom to be themselves with each other. They feel that they can put aside their barriers with their partner.

🧡Jupiter sextile Neptune: Connecting will be very easy for both of you, both emotionally and mentally. They have similar visions of life and are easy to understand others in the few areas in which they differ. They awaken the altruistic, sensitive and affectionate side of each other. They will seek to experience beautiful things next to each other and dream of a future together.

🧡Jupiter sextile Pluto: They will feel that their plans are working out in their favor and they will feel that their goals are more achievable hand in hand with each other. A strong and unwavering support that makes them a very strong couple, capable of overcoming any adversity with resilience. They feel a deep respect for each other and that leads them to appreciate and be dazzled by the other.

🧡Jupiter opposite Sun: They will have a lot of spiritual growth and this relationship can change their views on relationships for the better. They will feel satisfied and happy with the presence of each other in their lives and they will learn to enjoy life a little more. They know that they want to enjoy their partner and relationship in the present. They are inspired to live present at its fullest.

🧡Jupiter opposite Moon: Subconsciously they will brighten each other's day. They will be different but they will teach each other to enjoy the little things in life. They can be very optimistic with each other and always support their dreams, regardless of whether there is realism in them or not. Tender towards the other.

🧡Jupiter opposite Mercury: Great differences in the way of thinking will bring new perspectives to the other. Different beliefs, religions or visions of these. A lot of communication between you, you can appreciate each other's opinions despite the little similarity with the other. Despite this, they can be great company for each other.

🧡Jupiter opposite Venus: Both will always seek to maintain good humor and calm with each other. They may have different ideals of love. Fun and a lot of affection between both, they can fall into giving a lot to the other, which can be a problem if there is no balance, since one party may feel that they give more than the other. It is necessary to establish boundaries.

🧡Jupiter opposite Mars: In this relationship they will learn to balance their energy, working on the relationship constantly and gradually, without rushing. They both get excited just thinking about each other. They may think that the other person is very attractive although different from them.

🧡Jupiter opposite Saturn: There is strong support for each other and many times they will tend to place the other's feet on the ground. One of you may be more serious while the other is more easygoing. These differences can be a problem if you don't keep an open mind, but they can contribute a lot positively to each other's lives.

🧡Jupiter opposite Uranus: They are very different from each other but that does not diminish the fascination and curiosity they feel for each other. They feel that the other has something special that attracts them, even if they don't understand exactly what it is. They are inspired to be authentic and themselves.

🧡Jupiter opposite Neptune: Both of them will give a lot of themselves to the relationship, and it is crucial that they establish a balance. They will be very devoted to each other and will have the feeling that this relationship was meant to be, which can make them closer to each other.

🧡Jupiter opposite Pluto: Intense and irrational attraction, they will see the other as someone very capable and strong, even resilient and admirable. It can create a certain tension between you that awakens intense emotions, sensations and thoughts. There may be some competitiveness.

───────────────✧─────────────────

🧡Jupiter square Sun: They both learn to relax and not take things in a hurry in this relationship. They enjoy every moment as a couple and can feel very optimistic about their future together. One of the parties (or both in some cases) may find it difficult to take things seriously. The aspect does not eliminate the good qualities of Jupiter.

🧡Jupiter square Moon: It is not usually a very big problem, but it can cause the other person not to want to disappoint the other or demotivate them regarding the relationship. There will be a lot of fun and an atmosphere of joy, there may be a slight touch of idealization.

🧡Jupiter square Mercury: This aspect does not take away from the abundant communication between you, but you may feel that sometimes you go around the bush or do not reach a definitive conclusion. You may think that the other person thinks very differently than you in some areas, which can be a problem if you are closed-minded.

🧡Jupiter square Venus: Difference in values ​​and priorities. Despite this, love is very strong and they are capable of giving a lot for each other, they have a lot of faith in the relationship and can place expectations on it. Adoration and a lot of appreciation, they can find the other attractive and interesting. They may have very different ideals of love and ways of loving.

🧡Jupiter square Mars: The attraction between the two is undeniable, the other's attitude will seem sexy and striking. They may have a tendency to rush into making decisions and even feel that the pace of the relationship is too fast. There may be differences in beliefs or ideals. And you two will probably want to accomplish a lot quickly as a couple.

🧡Jupiter square Saturn: They may have a different way of acting when it comes to their plans as a couple, one may be more idealistic and the other more practical and slow. It is necessary that they establish a balance and adapt to each other occasionally. The other may still feel admiration, because despite being different, they perceive each other as mature and wise on many occasions.

🧡Jupiter square Uranus: There can be very different ideologies, and in general they can have a very different way of behaving. They both unexpectedly entered each other's lives, and with them they brought many big and sudden changes. Both of you may need a lot of time alone and it is something you have to communicate to avoid misunderstandings.

🧡Jupiter square Neptune: They idealize each other a lot and their future together. There is a lot of mutual charm.They will awaken each other's sympathy, compassion and affection too quickly. Make sure you promise things you can keep and be clear about what you expect from the relationship.

🧡Jupiter square Pluto: They will bring many changes to each other's lives that will take them out of their comfort zones. They may be very closed or distrustful at first, but develop a growing respect for each other that makes them see themselves as people they should not mess with. They recognize the strength and power of the other.

[riizebabie444]

𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙛𝙪𝙩𝙪𝙧𝙚 𝙨𝙥𝙤𝙪𝙨𝙚 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙛𝙖𝙢𝙞𝙡𝙮 𝙡𝙞𝙛𝙚

─── hey everyone, back with another pac. this one is about your future spouse and your family life with them. please remember to support with reblogs and feedback!

i'm currently going through a tough time financially and would appreciate if you considered booking a reading with me <3

─── picking your pile: take a deep breath and allow your soul to centre itself. when you feel your mind balanced and cleared, allow yourself to be drawn to an image. your eyes may gravitate to one, or you may close your eyes and feel which image is calling out.

─── be sure to check out my other readings and don’t forget to share and give feedback. disclaimer: all readings done are for entertainment only. please do not use my tarot readings as a replacement for legitimate advice.

ʚɞ ─── masterlist. paid readings. exchange rules.

donations. games/events. feedback.

pile one

who is your future spouse?

with the hermit and the queen of swords, i see your future spouse being an introverted person, they like to spend a lot of time alone. perhaps this is because of past relationships that made them prefer to be alone, but i also see a case where they just like being alone because they would rather have zero connections that put up with bullshit people. they trust their inner guidance and don't force themselves to be around people that don't add value to their lives.

in that sense, they say it how it is. if they're not happy about something, they'll make it clear. they are perceptive and hate when others have hidden agendas or sly intentions. they can see right through it. they're a quick thinker, intellectual and emotionally intelligent. but sometimes a bit to harsh and strict with both themselves and others. they can be judgemental sometimes. however, they are a wise person who cuts through the noise. they see the truth easily.

how will they love you?

with two of pentacles and eight of pentacles, they seem like a practical lover. they seem like more of a traditional lover too. not necessarily in the way that they will fulfil traditional gender roles in a relationship, but in the sense that they seek balance above all else. they want to be on equal grounds with someone, and understand a relationship and love in general takes a lot of work. so they will fulfil the role in the relationship that you both expect of them, and they also expect the same from you.

they will work hard to meet your standards, so you will also need to work hard to meet their standards. they show their love with equality, equal effort, equal treatment. for most of you guys, this doesn't mean equality with money etc, like splitting the date costs. but more so about the effort you both put in. that being said, they will put in a lot of effort. relationships are an investment so you will definitely feel like they are investing in you by maybe spending money on you, spending time with you, sharing things with each other. they don't love for what they can gain, they love for what they can share with you.

while you are dating, i do not think they are the most romantic person. they are more practical than romantic but that doesn't mean the feeling aren't there. they just express their love in different ways because that is how the circumstances they've experienced has shaped them. i do see they have big love for you and they try really hard to show it, but it won't always be in the ways you want or expect.

family life with your spouse

with knight of cups and justice, family life however does seem more romantic. i think living together and having a domestic life together will definitely change how they express their love. they will be more obvious with their feelings and needs for you, they will adapt and express their love in the ways you like. i'm seeing more romance and grand gestures which they may not have understood prior to marriage. but after marriage and having a family, they understand it better and will show you. they will be a lot more emotional also.

i see they will still be practical. they could be a bit strict about routines, especially with children. though, family life will open up both of your emotions as there is so much to explore with a family. i see it being very chill and peaceful, some conflicts here and there but honestly, family life seems nice. it will be fair and equal. you will both contribute to the home fairly, they will recognise when either one of you is doing too much or not doing enough, and then they will work to balance it out. i see fair treatment for all children, like no favouritism or double standards. i see a lot of accountability and responsibility. family life seems so mature but in a good way.

pile two

who is your future spouse?

with ten of wands and justice, they seem like a burdened person. they have experienced a whole lot in their lives. they are someone who is afraid of being judged, they might deal with anxiety, but they try not to show it. they are someone who bottles feelings up instead of sharing them. they may be dealing with struggles when you meet them, but overall, they are talented and hard-working. but may sometimes work too hard and burn themselves out.

they have a lot integrity though. if they say they're gonna do something, they will. this could also indicate they have a hard time saying no so they often end up having too much to do which leads to them feelings overwhelmed and exhausted. honestly, your spouse seems like a bit of a mess, they need more balance in their lives. i think they're prone to escapism. i'm supposed to be getting positive messages but with this pile, their messy energy is strong. they have good morals, they won't ever do something they know is inherently bad. they are law-abiding, and maybe follow the rules too strictly. but they are also a lover of simplicity. simple is beautiful to them, and they pay attention to details.

how will they love you?

with the knight of pentacles and wheel of fortune, i think your spouse meeting you is a pivotal point in their life. like they will experience so much clarity in your journey together, and i'm seeing it can help them to change their ways. naturally, they are a good planner so they will love planning things for you. for examples, planning nice dates that fit your taste exactly or planning surprise gifts for you. they'll take notice of all the things you like and don't like, everything they learn about you will be stored in their brain for future reference. they will be hard working when you are with them, in their job, with their family, in your relationship. this energy is different to their overall energy, so i'm seeing they will really change when meeting you or prior to meeting you. they will start to get their life in order.

they will be so kind and loving, they won't let anyone treat you bad. they will also try to deter you from bad decisions also. i mentioned already they are strict with morals, so if you try to do something they don't view as good, they will try to stop you. not in a way to control you but to show you how to be the better person and not stooping to low levels. like, of course they will defend you. but say if you're just being petty or bitter and it is influencing your decision, they will guide you to the better path. they will love you by constantly reminding you how they think destiny brought you together. they will rejoice in your successes and share their own with you.

family life with your spouse

with the hermit and the chariot, i see that you guys will be very private. i think after getting married, you guys might become recluses but it is just because you guys want to spend so much time together without anyone else bothering you. i think maybe you guys might move somewhere new to start your family so you might not know a lot of people, which can also explain your guys' privacy. i see so many late night talks throughout your lives together. you would not get bored of hearing each other talk. you would also help each other uncover your dark pasts and difficult emotions, and face them together.

i see you guys having a lot of willpower. if there's something you want to do as a couple or a family, you will do it. i see children for some of you and not children for others, so take it as it resonates. you will make decisions that will be in alignment with your values. as a family, i see a whole lot of determination. not letting outside influences get to you or your children. you guys would overcome anything. i see so much mundane, day to day domesticity, but also balanced out with exploration of the world. your family could have regular holidays to travel the world. you could have an active family also, like physically active but also just active in the community. if you have children, i see them being very goodhearted. you would raise them well.

pile three

who is your future spouse?

with the moon and ace of pentacles, i'm getting lucky girl/boy syndrome from your spouse. they feel so young-spirited, but they have also experienced a lot. i'm also seeing pretty privilege, so they would be very attractive, and perhaps it helps them to get the things they want in life. however, i think they are quite emotional, and they have a big imagination. they dream of big things, and bright and eventful future. and i think they are known for being caring and nurturing. they have a lot of empathy. but although they are emotional, i see them being quite practical too.

it seems like they're good with money, they don't have a lot of trouble finding good jobs. overall, you will think they are so lucky. security and stability is important to them though, so that's why they are happier and brighter when things go their way. they like to embrace new beginnings but they will always consider the risk. they might come off as careless and impulsive but honestly a lot of thought goes behind all of their actions. they don't do things for the sake of doing them, but rather to enrichen their lives with experiences. i see they may be into manifestation and even spirituality. they try to work on their limiting beliefs because they don't want to be the person holding themselves back. they may look very positive and extroverted, but deep down, they are sensitive and introspective.

how will they love you?

with the knight of wands and the well reversed, i see them being the one to approach you. they will bring opportunities to you, push you out of your comfort zone and help you move closer towards your own dreams. they will be so enthusiastic around you. you absolutely won't be worrying about whether they like you or not because they will show it. if they like you and want to be around you, you will know. and if they don't, then they will also make that clear. they wear their heart on their sleeves. i see them trying to be a bit manly though, whether this is a man or a woman. they will try to act like a macho man which they will enjoy, but just trust that they are also heartfelt and have big feelings even when they wear this mask approaching you.

they will be patient with you, but only to an extent. like, they hate the feeling of waiting for forever. they are excited about what is to come so they will be uncomfortable if you make them feel stuck in place or if you are stuck in the past. they will show their love by helping you overcome your past, helping you close the old chapters of your life before heading onto the new one. i'm seeing that their energy will not be cold or stagnant, though sometimes i see you are the one who makes the relationship feel that way. and they will show their love by not giving up on you, they will bring you along to better places even if they have to drag you. they hate seeing you hung up on the past.

family life with your spouse

with the ace of cups and five of swords reversed, i definitely see you both overcoming troubles from the past after marriage. family life is a new beginning for you both. you or them or both could be very excited for children, for having a home together. it feels almost dreamy when you guys live together. it feels like you both will blossom and thrive as a family, so many new experiences and emotions. romance will also increase. i see you will also meet so many new people, like family members or new friends. you will be surrounded by good people, your spouse will make sure of that and to get rid of anyone who treats you how you were treat in the past.

any conflicts you guys come across, i see you guys resolving them and moving forward stronger. some may just be minor so it is easy to move past them, but even the bigger conflicts, you will both work on them. you guys won't run away at the first sign of trouble, you will stick together even when you hate it and eventually it will turn out good again. there is a lot of compromise and communication. it's not always going to be easy but i see time and time again, you guys will get through it. this isn't the type of marriage and family you want to walk away from, it's the type you want to fight for. so every time, you will always move forward and create positive changes for each other and your children.

© riizebabie444 — all rights reserved. please do not copy, steal, repost or translate my readings on any site. any act of which will be classed as plagiarism.

[meowzfordayz]

caught with them (; — hashira men

Author’s Note: mostly humorous, but ~a lil steamy. 😉 Update: some are def steamier than others. 😅

caught with them (; — hashira men

Himejima Gyomei x Reader, Iguro Obanai x Reader, Rengoku Kyojuro x Reader, Shinazugawa Sanemi x Reader, Tomioka Giyuu x Reader, Uzui Tengen x Reader

Word Count: ~1,500

CW: 18+NSFW, accidental v!yeurism, cream!pie, dark humor, degrading language, explicit language, Fem!Reader

Emergency Request Fulfilled: Hi T! May I please request an emergency request (I'm  getting surgery on Thursday and I'm a bit stressed) can you please write funny nsfw headcanons where all the male hashira ( except Muichiro) making love to their fem s/o and all of a sudden she calls out ,"Daddy!", And the guys think she's being kinky and they were getting so into it but then with her serious demeanor they stopped and turned to find out it was actually their s/O's Dad who came in to visit? Please and thank you.

~faqs~

“Daddy!”

Initially confused

Gyomei didn’t realize you were into that 😏

And he was too invested in how perfectly your pussy suffocated his dick to hear approaching footsteps 💀

“G-gyomei,” you gasp, burning w/ embarrassment, legs wrapped around his waist as you sit full and sweaty on his lap, nose pressed into his shoulder, suddenly grateful it’s his back facing the living room doorway

“Hm?” he murmurs lowly, blissfully unaware, nearing his orgasm as he continues guiding your hips w/ strong, broad palms

“Mydad’shere,” you manage to explain, nearly choking on the feeling of his tip grazing your cervix

😳😱😵

#Gyomei is no longer confused

“Oh dear,” he mutters, mortification clear in his voice

Even as his eyebrows furrow, cock twitching in your heat as he finally cums

Meanwhile, your poor dad’s like: 🫠🫠🫠

“Well don’t just stand there!” you shriek, “Go make yourself tea or something!”

Best believe your dad immediately disappears to make himself something much stronger than tea 😭

“Daddy!”

And that’s when Obanai remembers 😳

“Please tell me what’s happening isn’t what I think is happening.”😖

—You thought you knew what his desperation sounded like

—Especially after cockwarming him for hrs, clenching and gently grinding every so often to keep him on edge, computer screen bright w/ half finished work, swivel chair squeaking whenever you decide to roll your hips

—But this definitely takes the cake 🥴

“Unfortunately, my dad is here for our scheduled luncheon that we completely forgot about, but fortunately he is also going to wait in his car,” you grit out, glaring harshly at your equally distraught parent, “We’ll be ready shortly.”

Newsflash: your dad could care less about when you’ll be ready for lunch

In fact, he’d much prefer to cancel lunch altogether

Who needs lunch when their appetite’s just been ruined by an emotionally scarring event?

As soon as your dad leaves, you clamber off of Obanai’s lap, his cock slick and swollen as he slips from your heat, needy whine shiny on his lips

“We’ll revisit this later,” you promise, “With the door closed.”

Despite the waves of embarrassment still crashing through him, he can’t resist cracking a wicked smile, drinking in the sight of your naked form as you bend over to hand him his shirt, previously discarded on the floor

“Dessert? Sounds good to me.” 😎

“Daddy!”

Kyojuro pauses mid thrust, expression eager, chest pink from exertion, longer hairs tickling your collarbones as he haunches over you, “Daddy? Would you like to call me daddy?”

“Kyo-” 😭

Yk when yk what you should say, but you can’t seem to say it? 😬

Ofc that would occur at the least opportune moment 😃

“Sweetheart, there is nothing wrong with liking what you like!” lips grazing your throat, one palm pushing at your thigh, the other splayed on an overhead cabinet to steady himself, “If you want to call me daddy, then I am perfectly happy to be your daddy,” sucking lightly at your jaw, growling at the satisfying thud of your body against the countertop’s edge as he completes his thrust, balls sticky when they tap your skin

“Kyyyo-” 😭😭😭

“Call me daddy sweetheart, let daddy make you feel go-”

“So uh,” finally your dad sputters, “How about you guys text me when you’re finished?”

Kyojuro’s eyes = wider than saucers 😳

“I AM SO SORRY, I HAD NO IDEA.” <— 0.02 secs after your dad slams the front door shut

“That was hot,” you giggle breathlessly, shock still radiating, “Maybe I do have a daddy kink? You had me at a lost for words.” 😇

“Clearly!” he nearly whines, uncharacteristically bashful as he tucks his face into your shoulder, “I would have stopped immediately had I known!”

“I’m sorry, I short circuited.” 😅

“I hope he forgives us.” 😓

You snort, already recovering from the ordeal, “He’ll survive.” 😆

Pouting, Kyojuro clings to you, cock slowly softening in your pussy, “But I may not.” 🥺

“Oh hush,” you pat his head reassuringly, smiling as he nuzzles closer, “Let’s shower and get dressed. My poor dad’s patiently waiting.”

“Daddy!”

“Who’re you calling daddy?” Sanemi murmurs, body draped over you, grip warm and steady around your waist, your own hands clutching the edge of the sink, “Listen to your sloppy cunt, so pliant and needy, bent over in the bathroom like a cheap whore.”

“Sanemi,” you squeak, eyes glued to the retreating figure reflected in the mirror

“I asked you a question,” he growls roughly, nipping at the side of your neck, balls tapping your clit as his pace quickens, “Who’re you calling daddy? Who’s fucking your slutty hole? Who’s bringing you closer and closer to your climax?”

“Iwascallingmydad, daddy,” you blurt, diction hurried by the stretch and intensity of Sanemi’s thrusts

He shudders to a halt, dangerous stare meeting yours as he looks up into the mirror

“You WHAT?!!!”

You inhale deeply, enunciation precise and drawn out, “We invited my dad over for dinner. You got me horny. He let himself in… and then let promptly let himself out. We made eye contact in the mirror, I swear he nearly fainted, and I called him daddy because apparently that’s what I do when I panic!”

“Oh so this is MY fault?” 😒

“The fuck?” 😐

“That’s what I’m saying! You got me horny, bitch, you’re always horny! Sorry I enjoy pleasuring my woman!” 🙄

“Well don’t apologize for that!”

“Fine! I’m not sorry!” 😤

“So do I get to cum, or…?” 🙃

“You’re fucking weird. You still wanna cum? Now?”

“I mean dinner’s obviously off the table, so-”

“Fuck’s sake! Okay! I’ll make you cum!” 🤬

“Good!”

“Great! Better brace yourself princess,” Sanemi snarls, slipping his fingers between your legs to flick at your clit, “Because you’re my cocksleeve for tonight.”

—Don’t even ask 😃

—Porn isn’t realistic

—So why should my fanfiction be? 😂

“Daddy!”

#riperoni Tomioka Giyuu

“Uh huh baby, baby, fuck, f-fuck, FUCK,” he groans loudly, mouth parting slightly, couch pillow propping his head up to provide the perfect view of your perfect tits as you perfectly ride him

“GiyuuGiyuuGiyuu-”

Disclaimer: you’re panicking — not cumming 💀

#unlike someone #that someone being Giyuu

“Shit, you’re incredible,” he murmurs, eyes barely open, thumbs soft and greedy as they dig into your waist, satisfaction welling in his stomach as his cum fills you, warm and viscous, tip swollen and twitching, “Feels good, hm? When daddy cums in your gorgeous pussy?”

#riperoni Tomioka Giyuu x 1,398,742

You clear your throat, blinking awkwardly, “Dad, how about I call you in ten minutes?”

Indescribable dread flickers across Giyuu’s face

⚠️ESCAPE⚠️RETREAT⚠️WITHDRAW⚠️

But he can’t move 😭, bc he just came inside of you 😭, and apparently there’s an audience 😭

#talk about a mess #pun intended

“You do that honey!” *your dad frantically nods* “You do whatever you need to do!” *your dad frantically flees*

…

…

“Murder or suicide?” Giyuu asks quietly

“What?” 🧐

“One of us is a dead man,” he answers solemnly, “But I’ll let you decide who.”

*big sigh* “Neither you nor my dad has to die.”

“I disagree.” 😔

“Daddy!”

“The fuck?” 🤨 “Is your dad here?” 🤨 “Are you into that?” 🤨

The fact that Tengen hasn’t stopped thrusting does not help your ability to articulate 💀

“Well?” he grunts, biceps straining as he keeps you pinned to the wall, hands full of your ass, “Which one is it?”

“The fact that you don’t seem concerned in the slightest that it could be the second one is mildly concerning,” you mutter

Meanwhile, you’re frantically shooing your dad away, unable to do much more in your current ~position

“The fact that you only consider that mildly concerning is also concerning,” he retorts, “And quit fidgeting,” tongue licking along the curve of your jaw as he murmurs lowly, “Less wriggling, more cumming.”

The sound of the front door opening and closing barely registers to Tengen 😃

Is he that pussydrunk?

Nah

#he just doesn’t give af

#well

#sort of

“Tengen.”

“Hm?” he smirks, gaze glinting smugly at the feeling of your pussy sucking him in deeper, “You gonna cum for me?”

“You do know my dad was here?” breaking off to a whimper as his pubic bone grinds against your clit, “R-right?”

“I know,” he replies simply, fixated on your building orgasm, determinedly repeating his motions, spurred on by your ragged gasps and staccato moans, “I was certainly surprised,” tone amused and patient, “But I figured he’d leave as soon as he realized what he walked in on,” nonchalant as ever, “No point in ruining our pleasure for a brief interruption.”

—I’m not usually suuuper into Tengen, but damn 🤠😂

[whatudowhennooneseesyou]

Could you Possibly do a Red and Green Flags or a NSFW analysis for Mingyu of SVT, Whichever you’d rather do if possible, Thank you

𝐊𝐢𝐦 𝐌𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐲𝐮 𝐍𝐚𝐭𝐚𝐥 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐀𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐲𝐬𝐢𝐬 𝟏𝟖+ (𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐑𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩 𝐅𝐨𝐜𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐝)

Word Count: 2.5 K (circa)

Disclaimer: This analysis is for entertainment purposes only and should NOT be taken seriously or in a professional manner.

Methodology: Traditional astrology and Whole sign house analysis.

Placements:

Aries Sun (11th House)

Pisces Moon (10th House)

Gemini Rising (Mercury Ruled)

Taurus Mercury (12th House)

Aries Venus (11th House)

Virgo Mars (Retrograde 4th House)

Fuckboi Rating: 4/10

Mingyu's Aries stellium indicates he THINKS he can have sex w/o feelings and be okay with it but his Pisces Moon betrays him every time and this leads to things being MESSY!!!

His 12th House Mercury can inhibit his communication style and therefore he might be the type to keep avoiding the issue and procrastinating speaking about his feelings until he's too far into the connection.

So, his energy is not giving me fuckboi but definitely the type to pursue fwb's/situationships and then it goes horrifically wrong.

Red & Green Flags:

Red:

The 12th House Mercury is going to be a nightmare to work with as a partner because you know that scene in The Notebook where Noah is like 'what do you want? WANT DO YOU WANT?'

That's what it's going to be like with Mingyu- an indecisive mofo who cannot reveal his feelings until he's practically pushed into a corner and you're having to force it out of him.

Definitely embodies the 'one that got away' trope as he confesses his feelings when it's too late because he's too busy overthinking in his head.

An emotionally sensitive teddy bear who gets upset and dramatic over any minor issue (which is cute in my mind but I need help...).

Green:

I'm an Aries and I'm constantly defending Aries placements because we get such SHIT but he has an Aries Sun conjunct Venus which is a beautiful placement imo because his whole desire as a partner is for you to love yourself as much as he loves you.

Being in a relationship with him would be an especially healing one because he would encourage you to heal and nurture yourself with him as a supportive partner.

His Pisces Moon encourages him to be super empathetic and even have psychic abilities as a partner and he has high intuition- he would probably know what got you upset before you do.

Service oriented and a provider, I'll include this with every person who's a Virgo Mars but they truly enjoy pleasing their partner because that's what helps them feel fulfilled as a boyfriend.

Ideal Type...If He's Into Women:

Physical Traits:

Venus in Aries is interesting because they don't tend to have a specific 'physical' type but more so are drawn to energy/vibes so his type physically is all over the place.

This man is so wattpad coded omg it makes me cringe so hard but I've noticed men with an Aries Venus are attracted to girls who can rock the baggy clothing/messy bun duo- particularly with his known love for his height omg if you look hot with his clothes on!!! He'll have his hands all over you all the time.

The 4th House Mars indicates he would love a woman on the 'curvier' side and is a total peaches man for sure.

Honestly, if I'm to be blatant, I feel like Mingyu would love a short, curvy, plus-size, voluptuous whatever term you desire partner that can wear his clothes and be constantly excited whenever you see him.

The ultimate golden retriever x sunshine gf energy.

Personality Traits:

Aries Venus= humour and mischief! He wants a partner who's spontaneous, loud and sociable. The type to not take things too seriously.

Honestly, with that 5th house in Libra- he really would be attracted to the manic pixie energy type and be interested in someone who's 'quirky' and 'not like the other girls'.

The easiest way I can describe this energy is think of 2010-2018 Tumblr energy when John Green novels were at their peak in fame, the whimsical, adventurous, free-spirited type (I love and hate it at the same time).

Domestic, homely and orderly- he doesn't need a partner who's a neat freak but can clean up after themselves and doesn't need to be told or reminded constantly to do so.

Dom, Sub or Switch:

His Pisces Moon and Virgo Mars gives him a lot of flexibility with power dynamics and makes him a strong switch with dominant preference.

Mingyu is a gentle giant but he is a GIANT however and needs to feel like he is one to feel satisfied in his manhood, he doesn't care if you're the more decisive partner as long as he decides how to pleasure you in the bedroom.

He is an Aries stellium after all and the heavy Mars energy signifies he has a high drive and does still need to prove himself and show off just how hard he can have you trembling underneath him.

As a dominant, he's definitely more a pleasure-oriented soft dominant, he does love a challenge and to be teased but he's a service dom through and through.

Kinks...Just A Few Of Them:

Breeding/Pregnancy:

The 4th House is ruled by Cancer and represents domesticity and home life and I'm sure he's mentioned wanting children in the future because oh my lawdd- this is how he enjoys staking his claim.

He wants to see you full and swollen with his child, he wants to pump you full with his cum and see if it sticks because that's his way of gently claiming you and reminding you that you're his.

'My god you're a glowing sweetheart, you look so beautiful filled with me, I just want to lay you down and give you another baby'.

Nipple Play/Lactation/Anything Boobies

The 4th House influence means Mingyu is a peach and cherries man which does go hand in hand with his breeding/pregnancy kink because anything with your tatas would drive him crazy.

So yeah, I do think he would prefer someone with a big bosom that he can bury his face and leave little marks and kisses all over your chest.

If you were pregnant or breastfeeding, I'm sure he'd love to clean your milk off with his tongue and I think if he were to enter into a submissive state, he would be the type to just fall asleep and feel completely ease with your nipple in his mouth.

'You're so soft and you smell so nice, just let me keep my face here for awhile mmmh?? I'll be good, this is my comfort zone'.

Taglist: @scuzmunkie @marievllr-abg @umbralhelwolf @starsareseen @lino-jagiyaa @mischiefsmind @mrcarrots @junieshohoho @gyuhanniescarat @partywithgyu @whatsk-poppinhomies @hologramhoneymoon @staytinyinmybpack @necessiteez @wooyoungmybelovedhusband @berryberrytan @laylasbunbunny @bangchanbabygirlx @i-love-ateez @anyamaris @krishastumblernow @hexheathen @michel-angelhoe @northerngalxy @justaaveragereader @ja3hwa @silentreaderthings @daddysspecialdollyworld @abby-grace @wisejudgedragonhairdo @smilefordongil @writhingwrecked @hongthoven

[starsworldd]

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐓𝐚𝐮𝐫𝐮𝐬-𝐒𝐜𝐨𝐫𝐩𝐢𝐨 𝐚𝐱𝐢𝐬 𝐢𝐧 𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐬

PLEASE READ:

long post - thank you for 2k! i apologize for the wait but this took me a longggg time to prepare.

it’s also important to note that planets in taurus/scorpio will effect how you resonate with the interpretations below

reminder that readings are open! i’m now selling persona chart readings of planets/angles as well

take with a grain of salt

1st (scorpio) - 7th (taurus)❤️: relationships are a source of comfort and wisdom. scorpio risings’ experience of reality has to do with trust, hard truths, and taking back your power but their relations with others often bring a sense of peace and value into their lives. people may perceive you to be useful and smart in these similar qualities as well. your partnerships help to balance out the chaos and even insecurity you face at times with your identity and precense in the world

2nd (scorpio) - 8th (taurus) ❤️‍🔥: you are powerful in your resources/skills and in the way you support yourself overall. in this lifetime, how you find worth and appreciation for yourself and what you have (skills, physical resources, etc…). you may feel suppressed or face much controversy for what you value or for how you choose to support yourself monetary-wise or as a person. your biggest comeback story in life may have to do with self-esteem and with how you accumulate worth and value (physical or moral/mental) into your life and goals.

although there may be much turbulence and important realizations/truths that are found in how you support yourself and your goals, the transformations and scary things you face in life ironically enough can bring you lots of support if you choose to make good use out of it (which taurus is naturally good at). of course, this is the house of fears and traumas so a big part of your life story may include building your own sense of independence by learning from times of distress.

3rd (scorpio) - 9th (taurus) 💋: you could be especially sensitive to input from others and be able to pick up undertones and double meanings from others easily. communication, creativity (especially having to do with hands or written words), is your superpower. you grab others’ attention easily with your stories and artistic output when you learn to harness your fears/limitations effectively. this also makes you very intelligent of your community + gossip because scorpio rules over extremes as well

while in your everyday communication and daily life you may uncover and discuss skeleton’s in other people’s closet and may be doing a lot of activities that use a lot of your energy (scorpio is ruled by mars, planet of action), this makes you very comfortable (taurus) in being able to adapt to different environments and perspectives (9th house). having taurus in this house can make someone very wise because they find value and meaning in variety.

4th (scorpio) - 10th (taurus) 💄: people with scorpio in this house have usually had some sort of significant event or trauma regarding their family or childhood or may have regrets as to their actions in the past. these people could be born out of either extreme poverty or wealth too. these people’s sense of safety/privacy can be very important to them or they could feel like this aspect of their life is being compromised often (mars = conflict) but you could also find safety/comfort in curiousity or things that are “off-limits”.

if the private/emotional life of the native is exacerbated and transformative for them the career and reputation for the native is where they feel appreciated and most creative. having these signs in this house-axis can be indicative of a strong comeback story (extreme poverty to extreme wealth or even the other way around). the career-field can be very fulfilling (emotionally or monetary wise) and where you are grateful or feel lucky for the events your work presents.

5th (scorpio) - 11th (taurus) 🌹: feelings of creativity, romance, and happiness are taken to extreme lows and highs throughout life. if you’re a cancer rising, i believe this is where the “moody” reputation for us comes from. like leo rising, there could have been significant changes or revelations during childhood that changed your way of deriving happiness and familial support. these people may crave for luxury and overindulgence and can do so by turning their pain into power. scorpio in this house can make someone very grateful as well.

if our sense of happiness and luck undergoes significant change and gives us our “comebacks” throughout life, the 11th house is where we have already found peace and prosperity with our place in society. we encounter valuable experiences when polishing our individualism (5th) within our community (11th). we can find personal contentment and growth in accepting our individual, unique role amongst the people around us. you may like to surround yourself with confident people as well.

6th (scorpio) - 12th (taurus) 👠: these people can feel very unlucky or trapped throughout life, with the 6h ruling bad luck + burdens and scorpio relating to extremes. scorpio is a smart zodiac i’ve noticed as well, so these people usually have a certain way (especially that requires much energy) of doing their work and job that could defy others’ expectations. extreme focus on a certain obstacle or insecurities is also possible and can take awhile to finally figure out what makes you feel secure and satisfied with how you manage your burdens.

if your everyday burdens and responsibilities test your strength to the max in this lifetime, your imagination, creativity and solitude is where you find peace. it could also be that these people do unusual things to satisfy their need for pleasure and wholeness, because the 12th house is where we are easily misled. these people are internally comfortable with their thoughts and ideas, regardless of how odd they may be because it takes them to a place of stability from their scorpio 6h.

7th (scorpio) - 1st (taurus) 🍒: these natives’ partnerships/commitments make the native have to look more deeply into their underlying intentions or feelings with said partnerships/commitment. this can bring a lot of disturbing but also very eye-opening and insightful experiences that affects the native’s identity and ambitions going forth. scorpio can also be a curious sign so there can be a little bit of investigative or persistent approach to your partnerships and this is where your power can derive from.

it may seem like your partnerships “destroy” parts of your identity, because you approach the world from a sense of wholeness and peace. at least, these are circumstances that you are ambitious to achieve in your life. pleasure and steadiness are big life themes and at first it may seem like life is rather dull or boring, but similar to scorpio in its opposite function, taurus asks us to dig a little deeper into the simpler things in life and to find enjoyment.

8th (scorpio) - 2nd (taurus) 🍫: when dealing with other people’s problems (financially, intimate connection, debts, etc…) it brings about experiences that require you to fix what’s wrong or holding you back in life in rather uncomfortable ways. this can indicate someone who is afraid to acknowledge psychological blockages or who lacks the necessary bravery/instincts to attack underlying problems. you could earn valuable assets (tangible or not) from others when you engage with activities that are “gross” but healing/heroic.

this native survives on feeling complete. having a sense of wholeness is very important to these people and makes these people very resourceful because they are able to make the seemingly mundane valuable and able to work in their favor. these people are good at feeling in control of their life, future, and choices because they are committed and secure in their abilities. these people place much importance on authenticity, diversity, and self-sufficiency.

9th (scorpio) - 3rd (taurus) ❤️: when achieving mastery/global knowledge, and self-discovery it may have to do with bringing up topics that you ignored or swept under the rug especially having to do with your identity/precense (in context of the world and society). your global approach and experiences have to do with dealing uncomfortable topics in order to achieve better awareness and understanding of all aspects of the world. how you navigate foreign environments and your sense of flexibility is your strength.

if foreign experiences provide you with strength through perseverance, your intuition and familiar environments provide you with strength through growth (tangible or not). although it may seem like the everyday social rituals and ideas (including intuition), can appear mundane, this setup of houses gives an opportunity to grow a garden that provides roots, beauty, and good taste in the way you perceive and express yourself local environments.

10th (scorpio) - 4th (taurus) 🪭: these people have to have a ton of intiative when working in their career and towards their big goals in life. it may feel as though these people have to start from a bad hand of cards (compared to everybody else) in order to make it to the top or that their working conditions and/or responsibilities throughout life may feel difficult to complete or deals with high stakes/status. but even though there are difficult tasks they have to be done and you have drive/resourcefulness to do it!!

if the workplace is where you see the thorns in your garden (where you have to get rid of them) your home life and condition is where you see the roses. taurus is good at being able to attract good circumstances for themselves because taurus is very representative of wholeness and the feeling of completion. there’s probably more opportunities for you to setup and manage your domestic life the way you like. wisdom may be found through your domestic life too.

11th (scorpio) - 5th (taurus) 🧨: your surrounding communities/people who support you seem to try to pick you apart. you may feel as if the people who you’re around with don’t actually support you or that there’s something incomplete or “wrong” with the circumstances and people that made you successful, imposter syndrome possibly? your supporters/friends could show you things you couldn’t see before, likely for the better although they may reveal this in dramatic or difficult circumstances.

if you feel incomplete about the people/circumstances that support your public achievements, your creativity and lust for life is where you find contentment. these people feel most stable and appreciated for their talents and way of enjoying themselves. for these people, they find stability, growth, and satisfaction when they engage with activities that bring them happiness. they find beauty and appreciation from others for their self-expression/creatvity.

12th (scorpio) - 6th (taurus) ♠️: your drive to feel complete is what can you mislead you in life. this may be because you feel as if there’s always something missing or not being to shown to you but you are persistent in finding what that something is. this same energy can make the native very wise because they have to overcome their demons over and over again throughout life. but at the same time, you could also feel like your sense of resourcefulness and strength fails to manifest in reality.

if there’s conflict/determination in trying to protect yourself from things that induce bad energy, then there’s likely to be tranquility and acceptance in doing activities that can put your life back on track. the 6h is known as the house of bad fortune in astrology so these people are good at being able to find the most reliable way out of a difficult situation. and while these natives could be good at finding solutions, slacking off and overindulgence can lead to oversight with tasks.

once again thank you for 2k!

hope you enjoyed🥰

[reddogcollar]

i wonder if the amount of people who can read in their dreams went up w technology becoming a bigger part of everyone's lives

[strawberrymochin]

A Letter.....Long Lost!

kyojuro rengoku x fem!reader

word count- 12.2k

synopsis- the discovery of an old letter from kyojuro rengoku's room shakes the world of tanjiro. he thought he fulfilled every wish of rengoku. however he missed one. tanjiro needs to deliver it to the one it was written for; but the letter has nothing written except a name 'y/n'. who is y/n and how will tanjiro find her?

genre/warnings- post war timeline/ mentions of death/ slice of life/ angst/ fluff/ lots of flashbacks/ kamaboko trio going on a quest to find reader/ emotionally unavailable parents/ just read it i swear it wont disappoint/ comfort/ scenes of rengoku and mitsuri training/ mentions of mugen train

a/n- i had this idea in my head and i literally wrote this in two days. Loosely based off a film I'm obsessed with...this is my first time writing a long fic. im hella nervous. it will have a sequel with a reincarnation au and smut. not fully proof read, ignore small errors.

Nezuko chimed in as urokodaki made his appearance. Soon more people will join in. Kanao and aoi are helping in the kitchen, making several dishes while inosuke is trying to get aoi give him some to taste.

Tanjiro and zenitsu are spreading out the mats for people to sit and get comfy.

“urokodaki sensei! Please come and join.” tanjiro said noticing his former teacher, carrying a huge basket wrapped in a cloth with water patterns similar to his haori. Nezuko trails behind him bringing another basket.

“i brought some mitarashi dango and some hanami-zake for everyone.” said urokodaki with a soft voice, that made nezuko wonder if he was smiling under his tengu mask.

It's been 2 years since the war ended. People lost their dear ones with a pain bearing smile. Some endured injuries that would sustain through out their life marking them as ‘crippled’; while some sacrificed themselves for the greater good.

Seasons changed since then.

So did several people.

People who turned their hearts into stone, heavy from guilt of their family dying; who suffered from the culpability of being protected…

“giyuu san’s here too, please sit inside with the others while we get the stuff ready.”

“yeah how's your sister? I brought her some new kimonos”

A mild smile forming on his lips.

Tanjiro’s eyes widened a bit. It's kinda still new to him seeing such a soft side of the guy who barely used to smile.

……have let their guard down, allowing themselves to move on, now that there's no more threat hanging in the air.

People who had been afflicted by the remorseful long sleepless nights of trauma; killing the one who once bore them in her womb; whose eyes had become dull and frantic, dying inside in agony…..

“oi tomioka! Move outta my way!” grumbled sanemi, throwing a box wrapped in a delicate green cloth in tanjiro's direction as he catches it with difficulty. Having a hand crippled like an old man is sure a poor thing, not that tanjiro minds that.

“ahh the scary guy's here again! Don't touch the box tanjiro. It must've been poisoned!!!” shouted zenitsu, panicking around, hiding himself behind tanjiro.

“What did you just say?” Sanemi’s eyes narrowed at zenitsu, veins becoming more prominent, ready to throw a first at the blonde head's face.

“Goddamn shinazugawa! Don't scare the kid…” said giyu, grabbing his wrist and pulling him inside. “Wh-you’re such a creep tomioka!”

“Kk.”

“Stop giving me that kanroji face!” sanemi said as shivers ran down his spine. Somehow a smiling tomioka was scarier than muzan to him.

…have let go of their distraught, accepting the dreams which they wanted for their loved ones. Fulfilling it in their place.

“Both of them are creeps!” Zenitsu said digging his nails into tanjiro's skin as he spit curses on them. “Zenitsu they are gone now, can you please give this box to kanao san, it smells of fresh ohagi.”

“I'm telling you…it's fuckin poisoned”

“It's not, zenitsu…don't be like that” tanjiro pushed him away with the box. He then took up a broom and started sweeping any other leaves that fell down from the trees.

Pink flowers blossomed everywhere, now that another peaceful season had arrived.

Kanao had suggested nezuko and aoi that they should spend time together this hanami festival. Nezuko and aoi agreed to that instantly. Thus this is how they ended up inviting everyone at tanjiro's, whose house was surrounded by a lots of cherry blossoms.

Kiyo chan naho chan and sumi chan were playing with tengen’s baby as Suma kept pestering urokodaki san for loosening his face mask (I can't blame my lil curious mommy). Makio was sure annoyed at her behavior while hinatsuru just chuckled. Murata sat stiff in the presence of four former hashiras.

Almost all of them had arrived. Except the rengokus.

Aoi brought them some appetizers, as they kept on chatting. After decorating the food all of them would join outside admiring the moment of bliss.

“Senjuro Kun and shinjuro san ain't here yet right?” Asked tengen.

“They haven't made their arrival yet” announced aoi, “however tanjiro san is waiting outside for them, the food is almost done, we can start after they get here”

“HAHAHAHA…. RUSHING IN LIKE A BOAR!!!” inosuke dashed in with a sakura onigiri in his mouth, from the kitchen. “WAhahhh scar guy!! Fight me!” As expected from inosuke, nothing could ever stop him. At first he was a bit spooked seeing a lot of people at once and sticked to aoi till his normal composure returned.

“Still that dumb boar head! Will he ever get mature?” Sanemi grumbled lazily. “I agree” said giyu, smiling at sanemi, which almost made his stomach churn. Tengen bursted out in laughter, “I see you are still in spirit huh? Quite flamboyant of you.”

“YEAH THE GOD OF MOUNTAINS INOSUKE SAMA IS ALWAY—” Aoi smacked him on his head and dragged him away while muttering some apologies to the hashiras.

“He's still much of energy…and his voice has become much hoarse ain't it? I still remember taking those kids on that mission. And this kid in particular was such a ruckus.” Said tengen, stretching his arms.

“Isn't it good to see all of us after so long without having to fear losing someone?” Said hinatsuru, makio and Suma smiled at each other.

“But we had already lost many people.” Sanemi sighed. He wished he could apologize to genya. If life ever gives him another chance he would like to be a little less aggressive.

“If you keep sulking like that, your brother will definitely curse you from heaven.” giyu took a gulp of the matcha tea, sanemi sent at tanjiro's a month ago.

“Now that there are no demons, you two get along with each other quite well don't you think so?” Tengen threw the snarky question at them.

“what the—”

“I wish rengoku could have seen you guys like this…remember the one time himejima san told us that oyakata sama wanted to see giyu smile….”

“See me smile?”

“Yeah, what a waste of time i swear.”

“Rengoku disappeared for a while to buy glasses in order to make giyu smile.” laughed tengen.

“It didn't work though and then kochou emotionally blackmail me to make him laugh.”

“Oh so this is why you wanted to have sake daikon with me?” Giyu smiled again at sanemi.

“I swear if you make that kanroji face again at me, I will kick you on your balls.”

“Everyone food’s ready, let's go and sit outside!!” Said nezuko halting the heated nostalgic conversation of the two.

Murata finally lets himself relax a bit as the hashiras start moving out. Urokodaki slammed a hand at his back, as he felt his stiff posture return. “Don't be so stiff we aren't gonna ask you to duel.” murata’s cheeks reddened in embarrassment as urokodaki laughed off at the kid's nervousness.

These days are indeed peaceful.

Senjuro made his appearance a bit late. He apologized for his fathers absence, blaming on his health. It's not been that best for a few days.

“Oh goodness, is he really going to be fine, we can go run a check up on him you know?” Kanao offered an idea, worried about the shinjuro’s health.

“Thanks a lot. Actually there's something that has been troubling us for a while.”

“Is everything okay?” Tanjiro's asked with concern lacing his eyes. Sanemi noticed, he had always been kind. He was kind to his brother. During hashira training when tanjiro stepped over the line, it actually made sanemi kinda happy and relaxed. Atleast genya had someone in life he could rely on.

Shinjuro's put down his bowl and chopstick on the mats as he brought his hand to his knees.

“There's something we found a month ago….while cleaning aniki’s room.”

Not only tanjiro but tengen, giyu, sanemi, zenitsu and inosuke froze for a second. The untimely death of the young guy was such a sad event that has ached their hearts for a long time.

Tanjiro could smell senjuro’s emotions and it was odd. It wasn't sadness, or guilt, or anger. It was pity. And somehow it stinged tanjiro, the same way it did years ago.

Senjuro took out some bunch of old papers from the sleeves of his yukata.

Tanjiro's throat felt dry and uneasy. It were a bunch of letters.

All of them looked like they were forgotten for months. The letter envelopes had stained yellow and some even have their edges teared off. But it sure emitted a strong smell. The smell of kyojuro rengoku. Tanjiro's still remembers the distinct hints of his aura. And it somehow still lingered around these letters. Especially the one which was sealed.

“What is it?” asked aoi, finally breaking the deafening silence. A strong gust of wind blew the pink petals along with the letters from senjuro's hand. It's scattered around the mats as all of them tried to collect them.

“Y….y/n?” read nezuko aloud. She hold the sealed letter in her hand as tanjiro extended his palm to grab it. It had tear stains. One side of it had brush marks written ‘to y/n’. The ink has now blurred a bit. But it was still readable.

“What's the meaning of all this?” Tengen asked, grabbing one of the opened letters in his hand. Giyu had hold of one reading in pure shock, while sanemi pondered from the side. Eyes as shocked as giyu’s.

“What happened tengen-sama?” asked makio, seeing all of their disturbed expressions. Zenitsu tried to snatch away the papers from inosuke who was trying to eat it.

“We found these letters from aniki’s room. A lady named y/n had sent those letters to him. An—?”

“And that lady was his lover?” asked giyu.

“What nonsense!”

“He never mentioned any of that to me.” frowned tengen.

“Nor did aniki said anything about it at home. At that time our father didn't pay us any attention. He was drowned totally in despair from the death of our mother. Seeing us only infuriated his anger and sorrow. Aniki would train or be at missions and he was rarely at home. He never told me anything about that….”

‘A letter?’ thought tanjiro. He started sweating all of a sudden. He thought he fulfilled all his wishes but—

“Rengoku san! Please think about yourself, can you stop the bleeding with your breathing technique?” Tanjiro has muttered those words back then, panickingly, devastatingly.

He wanted rengoku to say yes. He wanted him to live beside him, fight beside him, eat beside him. But he didn't get that as an answer.

“No, very soon i'll be dead. Before that happens, i need you to hear me out. I have a younger brother named senjuro. Please tell him to follow his heart. And walk down the path he feels is right.” Rengoku’s face had the same content smile, which warmed their hearts up. He continued, “And tell my father to look after himself…and lastly…”

Rengoku went on and expressed his views on nezuko. It felt like a warm hug. Someone has accepted nezuko. Not because they pitied her but since they saw her true potential and that she was no harm to humans. And now when he remembers it clearly, there was something rengoku whispered before his heart stopped pumping.

It was a faint whisper. So subtle that tanjiro thought it was his ears ringing. But now that he recalls, after he said he trusted them as a slayers, he whispered a few words

“and the lette—”

Rengoku stopped mid sentence as tanjiro kept weeping. He wasn't looking at tanjiro but something behind him. It made him smile as he took his last breath.

“Oni-chan? What happened? Are you okay?” Nezuko pulled tanjiro out of his daze. Everyone was looking at him worriedly. Even sanemi was worried.

“I've not fulfilled rengoku san’s last wishes. I- i haven't. I haven't delivered…how can I be so dumb!!”

“What? Tanjiro san! Calm down! You told us everything aniki wanted to say to us.” Senjuro tried to comfort tanjiro.

“No…before dying he whispered something. I thought my ears were ringing but he did whispered something. It was about a letter.” tanjiro kept on babbling as everyone felt dead silent even senjuro couldn't move his hands.

The sealed letter stayed in tanjiro's hands.

Something that belonged to the girl named y/n.

Something probably dear to kyojuro rengoku.

Some words which were waiting since 3 years.

But…..who is y/n?

The rest of hanami festival gathering went by silent. Senjuro entrusted the letter to tanjiro as per as his request before leaving early since he need to be home before sunset to check upon his father. Murata and urokodaki san accompanied him on the way.

“That's completely ridiculous. None of us have any idea who the fuck this y/n is? how are the fuck are you even planning to find her?” Sanemi spit out bitter words at tanjiro, sitting on the porch, watching the sun slowly turn a deep shade of orange. It reminded him of rengoku’s odd hair colour. It's funny how not only he, but his tsugoku also had weird hair colour— a colour which was dear to Iguro obanai.

Tanjiro lowered his head, smiling a bit. Sanemi changed a lot, even if he speaks harshly, he can only smell pure concern. “But I can't start a new life without paying my debts. Rengoku san saved my life. Whoever lady y/n is….I need to deliver this letter to her.”

“I get what you're saying…but there's no address in any part of the letter. Moreover you are being hesitant on opening it. How do you think you will find her then?” Tengen spoke from the back, alerting the former wind hashira and tanjiro. Both wondered how long he's been eavesdropping them. They expect nothing less. He was a hashira and before that he was a ninja. Even after losing one arm and one eye, he still holds the same power.

“Honestly, I've no idea. But I just can't sit and let it slide.” said tanjiro.

“you’re getting married to kanao next year. Better focus on that. Don't get into useless troubles hanging her off.” sanemi said lazily, yawning and getting up to his feet, stretching a bit. “I will be leaving then. Take care.” Tanjiro didn't reply to him.

Tengen shared a look with sanemi. His eyes shooting a mischievous look filled with pride. Tengen has been in a mission with tanjiro and he knows how stubborn he can be. He knows how pure of a heart he had. And how he even had empathy for demons. He knows sanemi have to surrender infront of him.

Annoyed, sanemi rolled his eyes, “if you're that insistent on finding the girl, then why not refer to kasugai crows. Rengoku's crow might know something about the girl.” He suggested as tengen was in literal awe. He never thought sanemi could ever think logically with his brain. Tanjiro’s head perked up in joy at his idea. Now he finally has a path to look up. Sanemi felt awkward and took his leave, avoiding to look in their eyes.

“Ah! Shinazugawa san! Thanks for the idea!!”

“That brat finally seems to work a bit humane ain't he ?!” A deep laugh bubbled up tengen’s throat.

“I’m happy that he has softened a little now that demons have perished. However, about rengoku san’s kasugai crow, do you know where do I get in contact with it?”

“About that, i would recommend writting letter to kiriya sama. I'm sure he would know.” Tengen patted his head with a reassuring smile.

Soon he took his leave with his wives and giyu, since they were going to an onsen. Basically makio Suma and hinatsuru dragged him along forcefully. Giyu looked a bit tired but he was happy.

Things changed and improved rapidly in a short time. Zenitsu and nezuko got married last year. Murata also got engaged. Tanjiro couldn't help but wonder if the lady named y/n had moved on or not? Will rengoku san be happy if she found someone else? Will he be sad? He looked at nezuko smiling at zenitsu as he played with kiyo, naho and sumi. He looked at inosuke giving his shiniest acorns to aoi. He looked at kanao, smiling delicately, just like shinobu did.

He was happy.

But was the lady named y/n happy in her life?

Kanao looked at him and smiled. She came near him and took his wrinkled hand in hers. “Tanjiro san, you know I would really like you to deliver this letter to y/n san before we start a new life.”

“Even if it takes time?”

“Even if it does. I will wait for you for an eternity.” Tanjiro chuckled as red tints his cheeks. How pure kanao’s heart is? How did he get so lucky to have her in his life? God knows.

“Then I will write a letter to kiriya.”

After a few days, a letter arrived from ubuyashiki's. Along with that two kasugai crows were found circling over the house. Among them one belonged to tanjiro, when he was a demon slayer— tennoji.

The other was the one who accompanied rengoku till his last breath. Kiriya felt sad for rengoku and wrote his kind regards to tanjiro sending the crow to him. His name was kaname.

The crow looked pretty much normal and wasn't as hot -tempered as tennoji.

This was the first time tanjiro had seen him. “Hello, kaname san. Sorry for summoning you all of a sudden. But I wanted to ask you something…” the crow didn't reply, but tilted his head at tanjiro.

“I-ahh- do you know anything about a lady named y/n?”

The crow remained quite for a while, as if reminiscing the days which followed great sorrow. “Master's…y/n sama…master's lover…letters…”

His words were what tanjiro was expecting. Tanjiro finally saw a path clear.

“Can you tell me where she lives?” Asked tanjiro hopefully.

The crow shaked his head,“i don't know.”

Slightly disappointed, tanjiro started asking how she looked. The crow wasn't exactly able to describe her. Accepting his defeat, he asked the crow where he saw her for the first time. Maybe if he goes there, he will be able to find her.

“tokyo…capital…mission..”

the crow wasn't that helpful, they only got to know two things.

First- whoever this y/n is, she was rengoku's lover.

Second- rengoku's crow saw her in tokyo, the capital.

This indicates maybe rengoku and the people who went to the mission in tokyo as said by the crow, if alive, they might know something about it. Tanjiro wrote updates to the others.

A few days later, giyu’s letter came along with some sweets. In that he wrote that rengoku went to tokyo for a battle with lower moon 2 back then. Oyakata sama had assigned him to that mission, before he was a hashira. There were a bunch of people accompanying him, one of them being kanroji mitsuri.

Oh! Mitsuri kanroji was his tsugoku, tanjiro almost forgot about that, he got excited to ask her when reality struck him down. She died after the war. Even if she knew y/n tanjiro couldn't ask her.

He continued reading the letter from giyu as the path which formed in his mind started getting blurry.

Upon hearing from tanjiro, kanao dropped by at the kamado’s. She said she might have one way to get to know about y/n. Tanjiro's eyes perked up at kanao’s remark, which almost made kanao’s heart jolt since he was so cute.

Kanao explained, when shinobu was alive, she had once told her that mitsuri was close to a kakushi couple. She further said that mitsuri used to write letters to them about her missions on a regular basis. Those two even came to congratulate her when she was promoted to hashira. She said it was nice to see that a girl around her age so lively.

Tanjiro wrote a letter to kiriya again. And next week when tanjiro went out with inosuke to sell some charcoal in the city, a couple came to visit them.

Nezuko welcomed them, while zenitsu narrowed his eyes on them, especially upon the male.

When tanjiro returned home he was delighted to find the kakushi couple still waiting for him. They didn't hide their faces anymore. Dressed normally as regular citizens. Honestly they were pretty young, and tanjiro admired how they served the corps group keeping them intact.

“I'm so glad you both came.” Tanjiro bowed infront of them in gratitude.

“Oh no, that's completely fine. We are happy to be of any help. Oyakata sama said you wanted to know about mitsuri.” said the woman.

“Ahh not exactly about her, but for instance, do you have any idea if she ever mentioned a name called ‘y/n’?” tanjiro said pulling inosuke back beside him as he kept munching on the snacks for the guests. The guy gave him a creeped stare as he focused back on tanjiro's words.

“y/n? No I don't think so….she ever mentioned that name. Did she tanaka san?” The woman said.

Tanjiro felt anxious as the guy named tanaka tilted his head to think a bit.

“Nope I don't think she did.”, he clarified.

“Oh….” Tanjiro's voice was barely a whisper, that even inosuke sat straight checking if he's alright.

“Is there something else we can do, tanjiro kun? You look upset.”

“No no…it's fine. I was just trying to deliver a letter to rengoku san's love—”

“Rengoku san? Kanroji san’s master ain't it?” Tanaka spoke before tanjiro could finish his sentence.

“Yeah.”

“Oh my god? The one whom rengoku san loves was y/n?”

“You guys know her?” Hope shined bright in tanjiro's eyes. So did a fervent fear. Fear of disappointment. Fear of not being able to pay his debts. Fear of not fulfilling rengoku san's last wish.

“We didn't know about her name but kanroji san used to tell us about her…isn't it shimi san?” The guy turned to his wife with a fuzzy smile on his face.

“Yeah, she seemed so happy, wanting to have a love like them.” Said the wife.

And for the first time till now tanjiro wasn't let down. “Really? Did she lived in tokyo? Rengoku san's crow said he saw her for the first time during a mission.”

“A mission? No.” The wife let out a chuckle, “it started way before that. Kanroji san said….. ”

“Ahh! Master! Can we please have a break! I'm tired from hitting the sword, my limbs are sore.” Mitsuri cried barely holding another strike from her master.

“Haha you got tired this fast, we haven't even started.” the blazing hair resembling fire, moved swiftly as the guy attempted another strike on mitsuri, but thanks to a call outside, he stopped midway.

“Wait a bit, I will be back in a while.” Said kyojuro rengoku, her master. ‘i will be happy if you don't come back for a while.’ she thought as she collapsed on her knees, to exhausted to move.

“Ahh senjuro kun! Bring me some snacks please!!!” She shouted hoping for the little kid to hear.

A bit later, rengoku comes back. Senjuro looked at his elder brother, frowning while holding a letter. Mitsuri sat beside senjuro, who brought her some onigiris.

“What's that master?” She asked, stuffing another onigiri in her mouth.

“Even I'm confused. It's a letter but it wasn't delivered by a kasugai crow but by a postman.”

“Huh? Maybe it's from some neighbour wanting to lower your voice while eating.” Senjuro said shrugged off his shoulders as mitsuri suppress her laugh bubbling on her throat, almost choking on rice. It wasn't an irregular thing that neighbors anonymously complained about kyojuro shouting ‘umai’ every time he ate.

“Open it.” Said senjuro, curious what type of sarcastic words they might have chosen now.

Kyojuro did as his little brother requested. However kyojuro didn't reacted after reading the letter.

“Today's practice is over. You can relax.” He, then ordered senjuro to boil him some bathwater, shooing him away.

Senjuro obeyed his brother, while mitsuri felt kinda odd, yet she was happy to have a day off.

As soon as both of them left the backyard, rengoku blushed like crazy. The letter was still in his hand as he tried to digest the words.

“A love lett—” a big palm shut mitsuri’s mouth, preventing her from shouting. Yet she was squealing. “I thought you left! You've gotten quite quick in sly footing didn't ya? I'm impressed.” He finally removed his hand from mitsuri's mouth.

“Ofcourse you made me practice for 23 hours without sleep. Anyways, what's written in that?”

“Do you want me to make you practice for 2 days straight?”

“Naah I'm fine! But master, I'm happy.”

“Okay.”

“And curious too. Please let me read it.”

“No!”

After shooing mitsuri out of the backyard he tucked the letter in his sleeves. This letter was sure weird.

“Rengoku san thought that she didn't read the letter, but she had a strong memory and could remember each word after seeing it once. She was so excited telling us about that.” said the wife, looking outside the window at the moon.

The flame of the lantern flickered a bit. “So that might mean that the letter should be among those papers…”

“Woah zenitsu! I thought you were asleep?!”

“How am I supposed to sleep if you're talking that loudly idiot!”

Yeah the paper. There were a lot of papers. Some were smudged and unreadable, so they didn't read all of them. Tanjiro went over their cupboard and brought the bunch of papers.

“Can you identify the letter among them?” He asked the guy to inspect. The couple looked at each other. “Maybe we can try but the writings aren't clear.”

“Please if you can. I need to deliver that letter.” tanjiro bowed his head down begging to the couple.

“You're a nice kid, Tanjiro kun. We will surely help you.”

It's been more than twenty minutes since they are reading each and every paper. Inosuke got bored and slept on the tatami mats. Nezuko was already asleep so they didn't wanted to bother her.

“Yeah maybe this one. From what Kanroji san had explained, this seems to be the one.” The guy tanaka handed the delicate piece of paper to tanjiro.

“However, in each of these letters, she referred herself as his wife…I didn't know he was married…?”

“Huh?” Tanjiro frowned upon the man's words. ‘what?’ he checked the letters again. And the guy was right, y/n did refer herself as his wife. They didn't read the papers as carefully since they were long, they just assumed she was his lover. But rengoku san wasn't the one to hide such crucial information.

Tanjiro was confused, they were so focused on finding the address of y/n that they ignored reading the letters, which could provide information about her.

Tanjiro spent the entire night reading each word carefully. Fingers running across elegant handwriting and smudged ink. As he kept reading those with a pain in his heart. There were in total 7 of those letters, which were written to rengoku. And the one which tanjiro kept seemingly in care— the sealed one; one which has a strong smell of rengoku’s aura; one with tear stains.

The couple spent the night in their house and left the next morning after breakfast.

This helped but not that much. However the path had become clearer.

He knew that the girl was from a nice family who had hands in education from the curves in each characters of her words.

Second, she had mentioned that he had saved her and her friends from a fire, in yokaichi.

“I'm leaving for yokaichi.” Said tanjiro during breakfast.

“Eh? Oni- chan?”

“Don't worry nezuko, oni-chan will be back soon.”

“I will also go!” Said inosuke, “inosuke-sama will protect kamaboko gonpachiro, his minon from any harm.”

Tanjiro chuckled at how inosuke shows his care for him, “fine then.”

“Zenitsu san you also go with them…”

“Ehh, but nezuko chan won't you be lonely without me? I know you will be lonely without m—”

“I won't. You guys will be back soon. Till then I will be at butterfly mansion.”

“B-but nezuko channn!!!!” Inosuke dragged him away as nezuko watched the poor soul. She felt bad but she wanted him to be with her brother. She just felt that the three of them should go together.

The three of them finally reached yokaichi town. It was small but quite dense in population. Tanjiro felt that this was an advantage for them since they stories and folks might spread fast in a vast social surroundings.

“Inosuke, zenitsu let's ask the older citizens first, since they might be living here for a while, they must have known about any fire incidents.”

“I was about to say the same thing as you.” Snorted the board masked guy rushing off in the east direction. Zenitsu simply nodded and went in the opposite direction, sulking. He has been giving tanjiro silent treatment since he had to leave nezuko alone.

Tanjiro sighed as he started finding old citizens nearby asking about a fire incident.

After asking a few of them, he sighed, it didn't really do any help, since many weren't able to hear and some weren't able to remember. When he asked the youngsters, they ran away seeing his old crippled hand.

Tanjiro, let down, returned to the spot where they had started searching. Inosuke was already there tapping his feet as he was waiting for the others.

“Did you find anything?” Asked tanjiro.

“Nahh! They were mere cowards. Running way from me. Though I liked it! Everyone should fear the great inosuke sama.” As expected from inosuke, zenitsu was yet to return. Both of them decided to wait till he comes back.

After a while, zenitsu came back. His sulking still hasn't tailed off. “Ahh zenitsu! Did you find anything? You took so long!!”

Zenitsu didn't reply.

He stared at him with dead eyes.

Oh god! Zenitsu’s moody phases are the worst, especially if it's an urgent task. The whining and sulking from a few years ago flashed in front of tanjiro’s eyes.

“You turned mute or what?” said inosuke, already having enough of zenitsu’s tantrums.

But the only reply that came from the blonde was an eye roll. Inosuke got pissed, ready to throw hands at him if not stopped by tanjiro.

“Zenitsu, I will get nezuko chan make sweet washagis for you when we get back home.”

“Really!! You better do that. I can't even explain how much I've missed my dear wife nezuko chan. She must be so lonely without me.” Babbled zenitsu, finally speaking for the first time till they left home.

“She won't.”

“Stop making snarky comments you stupid boar head. What do you even know about pure love between me and nezuko chan?!!!”

“Ahh zenitsu! Did you get to know anything?”

Zenitsu considered tanjiro a while, before giving in, “At the very west of this town, there's an inn. People said it almost burned down about four years ago…I looked for its owner but they said he will be back late.”

Tanjiro let out a breath. If that's the case, then the owner might remember the incident clearly. If only he could provide any useful information.

“Btw do you really believe whoever this y/n is…she's still alive?” Zenitsu scratched the back of his neck, shooing away the mosquitos ready to feed upon his blood. It's been long three of them are waiting in front of the inn for its owner to arrive.

“Let's just not lose hope.” The inn did looked like it suffered severe consequences from whatever happened 4 years ago. Most of it has been repaired but the aura and the smell can still be recognised. There are still some wooden planks with burn marks which are yet to be repaired.

“May I ask who you three are?”

A chilly voice turned their attention. There stood a thin, frail boy, barely an adult. His eyes were small with hair falling down on his brows. He speculated about them with a suspicious look in his eyes(especially on the boat masked guy). Was he the owner? He looked too young for that.

“Ahh good evening! I'm tan—”

“If you're wanting to stay the night, go somewhere else, I'm not opening the inn today.” He replied coldly before tanjiro could even introduce himself.

“Ahh no, you're misunderstanding…. actually we are here to ask you something about the incident four years ago…”

The look on the boy’s face changed from suspicion to disgust.

“Well…I don't wanna talk about it. You guys can leave.”

“No please, at least hear our questions. It's really important.”

“As if I care.”

“Hey fucker! If you don't answer I'll break each and every bone in your body.”

“Stop it inosuke!” This isn't going any better. It's almost night, they also need to find a place to stay.

“tanjiro can you move aside a bit” said zenitsu, without waiting for his reply, he went to the kid. Apparently he whispered something in his ears which seemed to have creeped the guy out.

Tanjiro gulped. He must be desperate to go home and see nezuko. Sometimes he forgets that their coward friend can be hell scary when it comes to nezuko.

“Okay. He's ready to spill anything he knows.” The look on the kids face made it clear he didn't wanted to recall anything about that incident. However tanjiro had no choice but to push him off the edge.

“Hey I'm sorry if we're causing you any trouble, but you know we really need to know anything you know about a girl named y/n.”

“Y/n?”

“Yeah. Heard it before?”

“No. There were none with this name.”

“Eh? Can you try to recall. There must be someone. A girl who was saved by rengoku san. A guy whose hair was similar to fire.”

“Kyojuro rengoku you mean? He pretty much saved everyone. The inn you see here, is small. Before the incident also it was small and not that popular. Only a few people stayed here occasionally. So I can be sure there was no one named y/n.”

An ‘oh’ is just what tanjiro could manage. The boy got inside the house behind the inn. The night fell and they were still in the same position as before.

Inosuke was throwing tantrums in hunger, so they decided to go to an udon shop nearby. Perhaps they should not lose hope. Thinking empty stomach is not always the best option. This they were sitting in the shop waiting for their order to come.

“But she did mention in those letters that she was saved by him. How come the owner doesn't know anything about that?”

“I already told you we should have broken his bones, monjiro.”

“I think it's useless, let's just go back home to my nezuko chan.”

“Zenitsu! What if you were in place of rengoku san? Would you be happy if your last words don't reach nezuko?” zenitsu went silent at that.

They stayed silent till three bowls of hot udon were placed infront of them. Tanjiro and zenitsu thanked the server for the food whereas inosuke just shoved his head into the hot udon bowl. “You guys seem a bit tense, is everything okay? Asked the old man, the owner of the udon restaurant.

“Yeah we're just a bit disappointed.” Said tanjiro. “Haha and why so? Got rejected by a girl? Can't blame her, it's your hand.” The old man pointed at tanjiro's crippled hand. “What happened that's it's such in a bad condition?”

“Oh! It's…from…from a fight.” Tanjiro smiled, it's hard to offend him anyway,“ i already have a fiance and we are getting married soon.”

“Oh my god! Please forgive my mean words then. I wish you both happiness.”

“Thank you.”

“Then why pull a sad face. My udon tastes the best when you eat it with a good mood, ya know?!”

“Haha, I'm sure it will still taste good. Actually we were here wanting to acquire some information about the fire incident 4 years ago.”

“Oh that was such a bad one. If there wasn't that guy everyone would have lost their life…”

“Rengoku san? You mean?” Tanjiro's eyes perked up. “I see, you know kyojuro. Yeah, that boy was a regular in my shop. Although it's been more than three years since he last visited, i wonder how he's doing? Tell him to visit once, the old man misses him.” the man bursted in laughter while the three of them couldn't even managed to smile even once.

How are they even supposed to tell him, tell him that, “rengoku san died three years ago while saving us from…” zenitsu's voice trailed down into nothingness. So did the old man's. They didn't knew if he's aware about demons so they didn't exaggerated it anymore.

No one spoke for a while.

“I see. What did you guys want to know then? I'm sure you were close to him if he gave up on his life for you all…”

“do you know anyone named y/n? I need to deliver this letter to her.” tanjiro took out the yellow stained letter and handed it to the old man, who squinted his eyes on the writings, drawing a wrinkled finger tracing it's shapes.

“Y…y/n…..yeah she asked me to send some letters to his residence. The kid was young and beautiful.” he returned the letter back to tanjiro.

“She did?!”

“Yeah…that kid almost begged me to not tell kyojuro anything about that.”

The three of them looked at each other. “Can you tell us more about her?” “Do you know where she lives?” “Can I get a refill?” The three of them threw questions at the old man's face, whose lips creaked a bit. “Hmm, I don't know where she lives but I can tell you about her.” He said taking inosuke’s bowl to the counter for another refill.

The restaurant was almost empty so they went and sat on the round seats opposite of the counter.

“It was about four years ago when she appeared in my shop after kyojuro left….”

“umm excuse me…” you said

“Yeah young lady, what would you prefer?” asked the owner pointing at the chart hung on the wall which displayed all the items on the menu.

“I will take a hot tempura udon please.” said the girl beside you.

“And you miss?” The owner directed the question towards you. “Umm I will take anything you prefer.” “Ehh is that so? Fine, I'll make you the tastiest bowl of my special udon.”

“Just tell already…!” The girl beside you whispered into your ear, which was audible to the owner, he chuckled a bit. “Can you shut up….!!”

“I will if you say it…!”

“Okay fine!”

“Umm…if you don't mind, is there any way you can ask the address of the man who just left a while ago?” you asked hesitantly, fiddling with your fingers.

“Kyojuro you mean? I already know his residence, he made me deliver udon to his place before.” the owner said trying to keep his composure, young kids are just so bold nowadays.

“Is that so?” your eyes shined dreamily.

“Why harbored a crush on the man you saw a few mins ago? Hahaha!!” you felt blood rush to your cheeks as you couldn't find words to answer his question.

“She wants to thank him for saving her.” said the girl beside you. “Atsuko!” Atsuko just gave a smirk, ignoring how she threw you in such humiliation.

“Ah…if you don't mind then can you please deliver this letter to him anonymously. Don't tell him I asked you to send it. Please…I can pay you for that..”

“I don't need any payment. I will do that. You can just come and enjoy my special udon sometimes.” the owner accepted the letter from your hands, tucking it in his sleeves. “And maybe watch that man you talked about…he comes here around weekends.” The man hinted you the place which kyojuro normal has his lunch. And if you weren't blushing any harder, you felt your entire face burn with embarrassment. But you want to do it anyway.

Atsuko giggled beside you excited to see what happens next.

“So you delivered the letters in her stead?” asked zenitsu.

“Yeah…she kept coming back with letters for a good six months, if i remember correctly. Maybe kyojuro replied to them…”

It fell silent for a while. The only sound echoing was of inosuke slurping on the noodles.

“So, while you delivered letters rengoku san didn't knew her?” The guy with red eyes pointed the question at the owner.

“No i don't think so, she never came when he used to visit, that is, the weekends.”

“Can you tell us what was the name of her friend again?”

“Atsuko…if I remember correctly..”

“Can you describe how she looked?”

“Ehh? I can't really remember people's faces clearly, but she was very beautiful, big eyes with a nice soft skin. Her hair was long and dark. She had a soft voice. She looked like she belonged from a privileged family. So did her friend.”

“Oh is there anything specific you remember about her?”

“Hmm…let me think…if I'm not wrong rengoku once mentioned her name to a boy who tagged along with him. If you go to him i believe he could provide you some answers.”

“Really? Who was he?”

“His name was….daisuke I guess. He used to wear a similar black sort of uniform like kyojuro.”

After finishing their meal, tanjiro payed for everyone and thanked the old man for all that information. They went to a nearby inn and spent the night.

Tanjiro wrote some letters updating each one of their current status. And he sent a crow to kiriya requesting him to take a look if there's any former slayer named Daisuke and used to frequent his missions with rengoku.

The next day around afternoon, tennoji returned from ubuyashiki's. He said there was indeed a slayer named Daisuke. He had suffered severe injuries from the war and now lives in his village.

As directed by tennoji, tanjiro's crow, they went to the south east from their current position. After two days and one night of sleeping in the jungle without the fear of demons, a village appeared. It wasn't that populated. After asking a few kids, they showed the path which led to Daisuke’s hut.

“Umm excuse me? Daisuke san?”

“Yes, wh— ta…tanjiro….aren't you tanjiro?” the guy said, he was blind from one eye similar to tanjiro, with a missing arm and a limp leg. Tanjiro felt sorry for him.

“Yes, they are inosuke and zenitsu. Sorry for being a bother….”

“Oh no please come inside. I will get tea for you…” he said excited.

“Oh, you don't have to. It's fine. Actually we wanted to ask something….”

“Yeah? Please come in. I will surely help you as much as possible.”

They entered the hut and sat on the tatami mats. Even after pleading not to bring any snacks, Daisuke brought some rice crackers for them.

“Please have them.”

“You didn't have to.”

“Oh it's nothing. Now what did you wanted to ask about?”

“It's about y/n.” Tanjiro said as the rest simply focused on rice crackers. A hint of familiarity glistened in Daisuke's eyes. “Y/n? You mean the one rengoku san was madly in love with?”

Madly in love with? Tanjiro felt a pinch in his heart. Rengoku san must have adored you. The sealed letter had tear stains. Did rengoku cried while writing that?

“Ah…yeah…I need to deliver this letter to y/n but I don't know where she lives. Did rengoku san ever mentioned where she lived?”

“A letter? Why sent a letter when he was so adamant about that?”

“Adamant?”

“Yeah…he said that the pages limited his words to her. He was so desperate wanting to see her that he spent like 2 weeks searching for her without taking rest after his missions.”

“Seriously? So how are you supposed to recover from those injuries?” Daisuke said to his senior with an exasperated expression.

“It will heal when I get to see her face.” Said rengoku, bandaging the cut from a demon's blood arts whom he just killed.

“You're gonna exhaust yourself from build up fatigue.” The sun rays kissed the soil painted in crimson from the shedded blood.

“I will be fine. You go and take rest.”

“I can't believe you're going to find the creepy girl sending you creepy letters claiming herself as your wife.” Daisuke let you a sigh at rengoku's stubborness.

“In that case I gotta meet my wife.” Rengoku's laughter echoed among the vast field.

It still echoed in Daisuke's memories.

“So rengoku wasn't married…?”

“Naah. Honestly I think, after rengoku san’s mother died, he had faced severe neglect from his father. He was the oldest son of the family, so he had to be strong for his sibling. But sometimes we forget, even the strong needs someone to back for them. Even they need some kind words to let go all their tiredness and have a tight sleep. Even they need someone who assured them that they have a bright future…”

That's right. Tanjiro had seen how shinjuro, rengoku san's father, disrespected his sacrifice. He was so lost and depressed in his wife's loss that he forgot about the ones who need the most care— his kids.

Daisuke continued, “when the letter came from y/n, rengoku san must have read comforting words for the first time since that. He used to reread those letters a thousand times when he was free. Sometimes I wondered if he ever got bored doing that…but I knew he didn't. A starved man will eat anything. And I knew he was emotionally starving.”

Zenitsu and inosuke stopped eating rice crackers. Rengoku's death solely hurted them as much as it did to tanjiro, but they never thought it was that deep. That it was something beyond his life as a demon slayer.

Zenitsu could relate. After all he was an orphan. And rengoku was too, being in a situation similar to him, where his only parent was emotionally unavailable for him. He felt sorry for him.

No one dared to say anything. The silence was piercing their hearts like splinters of iron.

“Fun fact was that he did find her,” Daisuke chorted a bit before continuing, “and he literally begged her to marry him…”

Rengoku searched from cabin to cabin in the steam train. In the last letter you mentioned you were going to aomori to visit your relatives by train.

After a bit of negotiation he learned that there was only one train which was going to stop at aomori. This is how he ended up buying tickets at the last moment getting in the train, to find you.

He hasn't seen you before. He wondered how you would look. Even more beautiful and kind than your letters. Even more beautiful than the slight hooks of the curved kanjis you had written his name. Even more beautiful than the blazing sun.

He had checked almost the entire train. The content smile on his face has now thinned into pursed lips. He was nervous. What if he fails to find you? What if he never gets to find you? What if he never gets to see your face?

What if he didn't recognise you?

He flashed all the passengers in his head before lowering his head. None of them carried the same demeanor your letters did. He couldn't imagine any one of them being you.

He entered the last cabin. It was empty. However this cabin seemed a bit different. It had a narrow passage on the right with doors while the opposite side had small rooms. It seemed private. One previously booked by someone.

Rengoku turned back to return to his cabin when the door beside him shot open.

Inside was a girl, who seemed to have frozen for a while.

“Y/n?”

The girl’s eyes widened at the name which left rengoku's lips. She shut the door close, but it didn't closed, something was blocking it. The girl looked down, realizing rengoku had slipped his feet in to prevent her from doing that.

He barged the door open. “Y/n right?”

The girl remained silent for some time.

“I apologize to you with all my might rengoku san. Please forgive my intrusiveness.” you said, lowering your head, nervous at the sudden appearance of him.

“God you're even more beautiful than I thought…” you shoot your head up only to see him looking with such dreamy eyes at you as if you're the only thing he's ever wanted to look at. And it made your stomach churn. Guilt rushed in each of your veins.

“Rengoku san, i shouldn't have wrote those letters to you.” You say. Your friend had warned you before. You didn't listen.

“Why?” He took a step closer.

You gulped before answering,“i wrote nonsense, pretending to be your wife I'm very sorry yo—”

“Then don't pretend anymore.”

“Huh?”

“Be my wife.” Rengoku suggested. His face now inches away from yours.

“And then she ran away?” Said daisuke, barely containing his laugh.

“Yeah…did I do something wrong?” Rengoku said with visible confusion plastered on his face. It was rare to see any expression other than his smiling face.

“Of course she would run away.”

“and why so?”

“Rengoku san, a girl thinks about her future first after marriage. She knows nothing about you.”

“But she wrote me lett—”

“Which you didn't answered….since you thought you couldn't fit your words in papers.” Rengoku couldn't say anything in his defense. It was true rengoku never replied to any of your letters. When he received the first one he thought someone was pranking him. But then the letters came continuously, one each month. He slowly fell in love with those. He fell in love with your letters. And somehow, he fell in love with you.

“Then what do I do?”

“Be honest, tell her about your salary and your job, tel her you can take care of her needs.”

“Yeah? Kk I'm going then…”

Rengoku stood at the aomori station waiting for you to get on the train for your return. Upon spotting you, he called out for you. The train had a delay and he had a good 1 hour to make things clear.

“Eh? R-rengoku san!”

“I work in demon slayer corps. And currently I'm in the highest rank which is kinoe. I get a decent salary of 42,500 yen. I live with my younger brother and father. My mother died a few years ago from illness. I spend my day training, slaying demons and rereading your letters,” guilt rushed through your veins again. “I promise, I will fulfill all your needs and treat you like my queen.”

“rengoku san...”

“sorry i didn't replied to any of those, I just couldn't express myself much in writing. If possible I would like to crawl into a hole. However you don't need to worry. I will make sure that I keep you happy.”

You frowned at his words, unable to explain him. How could you do that to him?

“Y/n san, let's make the words on the letters true. Let's be husband and wife. I know that I work in an organization that isn't approved by governm—”

“Rengoku san, shall we walk while talking? We are blocking the road.” you change the topic, not wanting to talk about it.

“Sure.”

Rengoku continued telling you everything…everything about him. From his childhood till his mother's death. From his father's neglect, to his way up to kinoe, from his sword to the number of demons he slayed. You didn't believe in demons before, but now that rengoku tells you about this, demon folks is something you want to believe. You wanted to believe in everything he said. Even if he's telling the dumbest thing, far from reality, you wanted to believe it.

“Y/n san! Look here!” You turn back to rengoku.

Click.

“And did she said yes?”

“Maybe. He didn't mention her answer. He was so happy that finally he met her.”

“You must have seen her then…can you tell us how she looked?”

“I think I might have a photo of her. Rengoku san, asked to recieve a photo delivery, since he had a mission from the previous oyakata sama.” Daisuke got up limping to the one of the backrooms of his hut. He returned a few minutes later, handling a black and white photo to tanjiro.

Inosuke and zenitsu peeped from the sides to take a look at the long awaited moment, when they finally get to see y/n.

The photo was black and white, but tanjiro felt it was still colorful to rengoku san. In the photo there was a girl, young, with long beautiful hair, in a loose braid. She wore a flower hair ornament, which must have shone in gold back then. She was just how the udon owner described her, big doe eyes, pretty mouth, she looked educated. She was dressed in a floral patterned kimono. Zenitsu wondered what sort of colour the kimono would have been. He wondered if he could get a similar one for nezuko as a souvenir.

The girl was beautiful. Inosuke thought, she had similar smile to shinobu, he wondered if his mom’s smile was like that.

The girl's reflection reflected in several mirrors behind her, and one of the mirror had caught the reflection of the one clicking the photo— kyojuro rengoku.

“The last I heard from rengoku san, he said she wanted to meet him before taking the mugen train mission. He seemed happy, maybe she agreed eventually to marry him….if only he didn't…” Daisuke didn't finished the sentence, considering his surroundings.

They sit in deafening silence for a bit.

A bit later tanjiro thanked Daisuke for the rice crackers and his help. He asked if it were okay to take the photo with him. Daisuke had no problem with that. After bidding farewell they continued their journey, unsure what to do next.

After two days of staying at an inn, cluelessly with no idea how to find y/n, inosuke suggests to go to the station from where they got on mugen train.

“If we go to that lord's land and ask the people over there and show this painting of this long haired girl, then some might recognize her.” He had said.

“First of all that's a train station, second it's a photo. How can you still be the same stupid even after 3 years?” zenitsu cringed hard.

“wha—”

“Inosuke’s right zenitsu, we should go there and ask the people over there.” tanjiro said halting the cat and mouse fight which was about to start between the two.

Daisuke had said rengoku was about to meet her before the mission, which means before getting on the mugen train. Even if it is difficult, some locals must have seen even one glance of her.

The next morning, as per inosuke's idea, three of them left for the station.

“Umm excuse me…” said tanjiro, forwarding the photo in front of the local he stopped on his way, “can you tell me if you've seen this girl?”

The man gave a disgusted look at tanjiro. “no I haven't.”

“Ehh? Are you sure you haven—”

“I don't have time for bullshit.” He went off ignoring tanjiro. Strange. People here are less friendly, some even get irritated if stopped on their way.

It's almost lunch time, zenitsu and inosuke had tried to stop the locals as tanjiro asked them about you. It was clear that this ain't ending soon. Especially when they've got nothing good in hand.

“Let's go buy something to eat.”

“YEAH! I'M HECK HUNGRY!!”

“I saw a kid wearing glasses, selling bentos…let's buy some then…she went in that direction.”

Upon seeing the kid, tanjiro asked her to give them three boxes of bentos. It seemed similar to the ones they had three years ago. The girl was about to leave after receiving her payment, but tanjiro's instinct told him to stop her.

“Wait!” The girl turned back to him as zenitsu and inosuke watched him, confused. Tanjiro put his hand inside the sleeves of yukata, taking out the only photo they had of you.

“Have you ever seen this girl around here?”

The girl squinted her eyes behind the round glass frames,“y/n san! Isn't she y/n san…”

Zenitsu’s eyes popped out, he wondered if tanjiro's a mind reader or something, how can he be so quick?

“Yes! You know her? Can you tell us where she lives?” Tanjiro asked desperately.

“She never mentioned that to us…” the girl said frowning her eyebrows.

“Oh…how did you know her then?”

“Well, a demon slayer who saved us three years ago, requested…”

You waited for kyojuro to come. The sun shone brightly above you. The empty roadway started getting crowdy. You've had enough.

“Y/n san. You wanted to see me?” kyojuro had become a hashira now, and amongst his tight schedule he barely had time for you. It's not like you were disappointed, but still…you and kyojuro often talked through phone booths, after you've suggested that casually one day while strolling with him. Last week when he called you, after what felt like years, you said you wanted to meet him soon. ‘fine meet me at the near hinakawa station, I will be waiting.’ he'd said.

Though it was you, waiting for him to come. You've felt distant from him. And you didn't like it.

“I ran away.” You announced looking in his honey drizzled eyes. Though you aren't sure if it were your overthinking but those eyes seemed a bit dull today.

Kyojuro didn't say anything, maybe confused how to interpret your words.

“my family's against us. And I'm against them. I left the old relations to form a new one. With whom I love. Let's get married.” You said taking his hand in yours.

Kyojuro said nothing but wrapped you in his arms. You hugged him tighter, never wanting to let go. “I'm not alone anymore.” He said before nuzzling his face on the crook of your neck.

Yes. You've always wanted to hear these words from his lips. You've wanted to let him know that he's not alone even when he thinks he is. You wanted him to know that there's someone who will always support him even if he's father thinks he has no talent. This was the reason you wrote him letters in first place. This was the reason you let yourself get tangled in a world far different from yours— in the world of kyojuro rengoku.

He left soon saying he will be back after completing a mission. He said he will send someone to you and asked you to wait for him till then. And you agreed gladly. About half an hour later a girl wearing round steel rimmed glasses along with her grandmother appeared.

“Y/n?” You nodded your head at them. “Rengoku sama asked us to keep you safe till he gets back. If you don't mind then you can come home with us.”

You got to know from the grandmother, how the rengokus had saved their lives two times. You've never seen kyojuro fight, but you knew he was hella strong. Still your heart sinks into your stomach whenever he mentions a mission. You've never encountered demons, once you didn't even believed in them, and now here you are nodding at each of those demon tales of the grandmother.

It didn't mattered anyway as long as he comes back safe. You have to wait for a while for him to comeback….after all you weren't done….you still had an important thing to say.

“Then?”

“Then days turned into weeks and weeks turned into months, the slayer never made its return. She left eventually, thanking us. We told her to wait for a while more…but she was too stubborn.” said the girl, fixing her specks again.

Tanjiro couldn't believe what he heard. Rengoku had so many things going on in his life. He had more priorities than him and his friends. Someone who was more important. Someone who left her entire family for him.

Yet.

And yet.

He chose to save them sacrificing himself.

He wondered if the you hate him now.

Zenitsu and inosuke were too stunned to speak. All of them were on the verge of crying. To think…that he couldn't return because of them. To think that they played a role in ruining you happiness. That he died saving them.

“She said she was going to asakusa at her friend’s house, named atsuko.”

Tanjiro bowed at the girl, he couldn't manage thanking her, since he knew if he draws one more breath trying to talk, he would break down right there.

The three of them took a train to asakusa after eating those bentos. They looked similar because rengoku had bought the same boxes from that bento girl 3 years ago.

Inosuke was oddly quiet inside the train. The other two also barely chatted before reaching their destination.

Tanjiro had visited asakusa before and he didn't liked that experience very much. Especially the narrow lanes. This time the city looked more developed than before. And it was more crowdy too. They made their way as the girl has previously informed, that atsuko works as a teacher in a big school for aristocrats.

Coincidentally, tanjiro found the same vendor from his last visit. Back then nezuko wasn't able to savor his ramens since she was a demon. He wished he brought her along. They ordered a steaming bowl of ramen, as the vendor was delighted seeing tanjiro again.

“Where that bamboo girl you carried along with you?”

“She's at home right now.”

“Don't give my wife stupid Nicknames.” ,shouted the blonde at the vendor. Tanjiro apologized in his stead as he kept fuming. “So why are you three here all of a sudden? It's been long ain't it?”

“Yeah we're looking for a girl named y/n. She has a friend who teaches in a big school named atsuko.”

“Y/n never heard that sort of peculiar name…”

“are there any big schools in this area, where aristocrats study?”

“Umm…there are a lot of big schools, you could go and ask at the library. There's only one library here and all the school students or teachers borrow books from there. They must know something about that.”

“Oh really! Thankyou very much.”

Without any further do, the three of them went to the public library after eating.

“Woah this is so big.” Tanjiro said.

“It has so many books shall I borrow some for nezuko chan” zenitsu got lost in his dream world. Inosuke was quite whenever he gets in a new environment with a lots of people, so tanjiro didn't bother checking at him.

However, inosuke tugged on tanjiro's yukata pointing at something with his boar mask tugged on his head. Tanjiro could see his eyes popping out.

“What happened tanji—” zenitsu choked on his spit. Tanjiro’s jaw dropped, his mouth open wide. Inosuke was pointing at a picture hung on the wall. Tanjiro took out the photo hurriedly from his sleeves.

There's no mistake. This was indeed the same girl. Underneath the painting was written ‘princess akiko’ in bold letters carved carefully on metal.

“But isn't her name y/n?” Said zenitsu. What's going on? Before tanjiro could say anything, a woman in her twenties bumped into them while rushing.

The photo slipped out from tanjiro’s fingers.

“I'm so sorr—” the women's words halted as she looked at the photo lying on the ground in front of her. She picked it up before tanjiro could.

“Where did you get this picture from?” She asked as if it were a taboo to have this.

“Ahh you know y/n?”

“Y/n?”

“She looks similar to the girl in that painting” the boy with the boar mask declared.

“For the hundredth time inosuke it's a photo.” said zenitsu.

“She doesn't looks like her. She is her. She is princess akiko. The youngest daughter of the imperial family.”

What?

Three of them couldn't believe their ears. “But her name is y/n…” whispered tanjiro in a low voice.

“Just who are you?” She looked at the picture carefully, as if hiding it from the world, “isn't this rengoku?”

“You know rengoku san?”

“That's the man who saved us from a fire incident in an old town. And then became the main reason of the storms in akiko’s life.”

Tanjiro's eyes widened at the mention of the fire incident “Are you atsuko?”

The women nodded, surprised they know her name. Tanjiro, then explained the whole matter.

“I see.”

“This isn't right akiko…you shouldn't have continued writing letters to him in first place.” Atsuko said trying to persuade her not to run away.

“I can't. I can't live here. They will never accept him. And I can't live without him.”

“Akiko, try to understand…rengoku loves y/n.”

“And i am y/n!” The sound of the rain pouring down increased.

“You are princess akiko. Y/n is just a fake name, you created to hide your real identity when decided to write him letters. I supported you then since i thought it was a one time thing.” Atsuko shook the girl's shoulders trying to bring her to the path she considered right.

“But I don't wanna be akiko. I wanna be y/n…y/n rengoku.” Tears fell from the eyes in front of her as sobs escaped her lips.

“You're playing with rengoku’s feelings. Even if you run away, how do you intend to tell him the truth? You can't pretend to be y/n your entire life akiko.”

The girl didn't answered atsuko. That day slowly came to an end along with the rain. And Akiko did run away to rengoku, away from her pointless life, being a puppet in her family's hands.

“She returned a month after she ran away. When I asked him about rengoku she said nothing. Soon her brother came and took her away.” Whispered atsuko in a voice so doleful, that it was clear, it hurted.

“Did rengoku san knew she was a princess?” Zenitsu asked.

“He probably didn't. Akiko's family arranged several politicians later to set her up but she caused such a ruckus that her family gave up at last.”

“Do you know where she is now…i need to deliver this letter to her.” Each word tasted like bile to him. He couldn't even imagine how miserable it had been. You literally rejected a crystal palace only to live a normal life with him. Which didn't even come true. How feverishly would it have hurt? How apathetic fate was…

“She lives in osaka, running an orphanage. You would find her there. Shall I get someone two drive you three over there?”

“That will be very thoughtful of you” said tanjiro.

Atsuko arranged a driver, who would drive them to the orphanage, they expect to find you in. The car ride was even more silent than the train one. Inosuke, even, didn't make any fuss seeing a car for the first time.

‘So this is where princess akiko lives.’ thought tanjiro. The building was similar to butterfly mansion, nothing that luxurious but quite spacious. The driver left soon after dropping them.

They crossed several corridors of children buzzing like bees. Laughter echoed among the hallways. How wonderful of a place for someone who lost their parents. Similar to them. They wondered if they would have grown up in this orphanage if they were born here.

Finally they reached to what seemed like an office. Similar to one shinobu used when researching herbs, the one which kanao uses now. They entered with a knock.

“Y/n san?”

Your head perked up at the name, which once your beloved used to refer. That beloved who never came.

Your heart ached a bit expecting kyojuro. A melancholic smile forms on your face seeing three kids infront of you. Of Course it wasn't him.

“yes?” you said gently, trying not to give in to your emotions.

But tanjiro could smell it. He smelled the intense grief bubbling within you. He could imagine how long you've bottled up your emotions.

Without saying much, he took the letter out of his sleeve placing it on your desk.

“It's been waiting for 3 years.”

“Huh?”

“Rengoku san wanted me to deliver this to you. Sorry this took so long.” your hands froze at his name. Your chest heaved without even you realizing as you grab the letter.

A single drop of tear fell on the spot which had been previously stained with tears. Tears of kyojuro rengoku.

Your fingers shaked tracing your name on the letter. The name which he used to call. Y/n not Akiko.

You teared the seal, taking out a paper. It was filled with words. Words, he never thought he could express on paper.

Dear y/n,

If you're reading this, then I'm sorry. I might have broken my promise of protecting you forever because by the time you read it— I will be dead.

Y/n i wanted to tell you, that I've loved you. I have loved you from the very beginning. Before even I saw you. You were the one who protected the flame in my heart. While others told me to set it ablaze, you made me learn how to keep the flame burning.

You were as beautiful to me as the rising sun. So bright, so clear. You were the epitome of my life. I wanted to live a peaceful life with you, in which my father let's go of his depression. In which your family accepts us. In which we don't have to hide from others. I wanted you to have my surname.

Your words were like the first rain of summer to me. You saved me from quenching my thirst by your words. I have been starved…. starved for so long that I forgot what being hungry for love feels like. Until you came into my life. you healed my heart, handled it as if it's porcelain.

I thought papers were something I would never choose to express myself with. But look at me now. Haha. I don't know why I'm writing it now, but I just feel like, the time’s soon going to be over. And I feel like I will be gone without seeing your face.

Please don't hate me for that.

If I get to spend my life with you I will probably burn this off, but if this letter somehow unfortunately finds you…I want you to know, I gave my best. I gave my very best to save the ones surrounding me. That I fullfilled my duty till the end. So don't feel sad.

I still can't believe you chose to love me. If possible I would like to meet you in another birth, in another universe without demons, where I will be yours, completely yours. You're the best thing that happened to me, y/n. You're just perfect.

But I must say….you’re dumb for choosing a man who bets his life for others, leaving the silver spoon you had in your mouth.

Sadly, our time was limited in this birth. Good bye princess akiko.

~ your kyojuro

The letter fell from your hands. Your lips quivering as you barely contained your tears, which stained the letter.

You just managed a smile at the kids who brought you this letter. He was no more. And you couldn't believe that. He knew you were Akiko not y/n. The truth you weren't able to tell him.

“I'm sorry for making this long. Rengoku san died saving us from a demon, 3 years ago” said tanjiro, tears staining his cheeks. So do the others, barely containing their emotions.

“oh! But i-im glad you all are safe. H-he fulfilled his duties right?”

“Does it hurts?” Tanjiro asked.

“A lot.” And if he wasn't seeing things, he saw rengoku for one second with a silly smile on his face, maybe wondering how to comfort you.

The second he blinked his eyes he was gone. What remained was his letter. Tanjiro handed the photo to you before leaving. He wondered if in another birth he gets to see the both of you reconcile.

He took a deep breath wanting to return to kanao. Maybe he would just ask her to marry him this year. He doesn't want to waste anymore time away from her.

“Where were you?” Asked zenitsu to inosuke, who went missing for a while. They are currently waiting for a train to go back home.

“To buy this.” Inosuke showed a butterfly hair pin decorated with blue crystals. It was beautiful.

“Woah. Who did you buy it for?”

“Aoi.” Tanjiro chuckled at his bluntness, while zenitsu smirked. It's funny how inosuke still gets both of their names incorrect but he never made a mistake in saying aoi’s name correctly. Who knows they might have two weddings…

Now that tanjiro had finally payed off the debt, he wished you happiness as he looked forward to a happier future. He will remember you, not as princess akiko, but as y/n.

“Let's go! I can't wait to see nezuko!!”

“Zenitsu watch out your way!!”

© strawberrymochin 24 | plagiarism won't be tolerated | comments are reblogs are appreciated | banners are by me |

[drill-teeth]

As we come upon the gay month, here is a friendly reminder about something because it comes up literally every year for me. In general and around this time.

If you see a post that is about or includes positivity about kink and sex and sexuality, please don’t comment “ewww sex” or “this !!! but without the sex part”.

And this is not to say you have to like sex. I am well aware that this heteronormative society places way too much emphasis on sexual chemistry in relationships. And that there are plenty of people who don’t experience sexual attraction, sexual enjoyment, or are sex repulsed. And that’s okay. And society shouldn’t be putting the pressure on you to want or enjoy sex.

This is to say that enjoying and indulging in sex and sexuality is a very important part to tons of communities, and it would be very helpful to not chime in on sex positive posts saying you don’t like sex. It’s almost like a “don’t yuck my yum” thing. ‘Cause like. I’ve noticed a ton of LGBTQ+ people feel the need to hide the sexual part of their identity. And emphasize “actually my relationships are totally emotionally fulfilling” but keep the sex part hush hush. And they shouldn’t have to avoid expressing sexual joy if they don’t want to. They should get to go “I fucked someone NASTY” or like “I masturbated in such a gender euphoric way” without feeling like they’re gross. ‘Cause they’re not! That’s awesome!

And it isn’t appropriate to go on posts celebrating and caring for people not having sex or not desiring sex or being sex repulsed and say “omg but what if you had sex” or “but sex is so good though!!!”.

Let’s all celebrate our experiences with sex and sexuality, whether sex is something we have and crave or not and not step on each other’s toes. ‘Cause we’re not supposed to be each other’s enemies. Infighting is a weapon oppressors use against us. So let’s all celebrate instead.

[astrolovecosmos]

*Venus Natal Aspect Snippets*

*Sun can only semi-sextile, semi-square, or conjunct Venus. Moon Trine Venus: Likely very social, is open to new relationships, and is a cooperative individual. Can be highly creative, may be a little vain, and is likely very romantic. Can be overindulgent, may not be good at emotionally handling pressure or conflict, and can be driven to people pleasing tendencies due to their need for connection or a fear of loneliness. This aspect is known for being favorable in making close bonds or with romance.

Moon Opposite Venus: Might find themselves in relationships where they feel torn between wanting emotional closeness and needing personal space. Can lack confidence in themselves romantically or within relationships. Can struggle with dependency or co-dependency. Can be a sensitive, understanding, and welcoming person despite this aspect's challenges.

Moon Square Venus: May be hot and cold in their relationships. Can struggle with stability or balance in their relationships and emotional world. Can struggle with self-discipline or give into escapism often. May run away from conflict. Can be good at channeling their frustrations into art. Can be good at giving advice but tends to not follow their own wisdom.

Mercury Trine Venus: A great aspect for diplomacy, negotiation, and forming connections through meaningful conversations. Be careful of underestimating others, loose lips, and relying too much on persuasion. *venus can't oppose or square mercury in a natal chart

Venus Opposite Mars: Conflicting feelings, thoughts, and energies in your attraction and desires. Need to focus on what matters most to you in others and relationships.

Venus Square Mars: The friction between Mars's energy and Venus's harmony can result in romantic conflicts, impulsiveness, or difficulty finding balance between assertion and affection. Focus on what makes both you and your loved one's happy together.

Venus Trine Mars: This aspect often means chemistry and creativity in romantic and collaborative endeavors. Be careful of assuming others are on your level for love and passion until you know them more. Other's may also be intimidated or jealous of your confidence or self-acceptance.

Venus Opposite Jupiter: There might be a struggle between expansion and moderation. You could feel drawn toward indulgence, extravagance, or over-optimism, taking risks in relationships or security. But you may also equally fear taking big risks in your relationships. It's a challenge to balance pleasure with restraint.

Venus Square Jupiter: May have unrealistic expectations of their loved ones or relationships, things can get messy in their relationships FAST, doesn't know when to stop. Needs to be highly mindful of their desires and behavior. Expand with a plan.

Venus Trine Jupiter: Known to be a beneficial aspect for social interactions, attracting opportunities, and fostering good fortune in love and financial matters. A "good luck" type of placement in the chart. Be careful about being overly generous to where others take advantage of you. You may also have a foolhardy side in relationships somehow. Don't let things get to your head in relationships.

Venus Opposite Saturn: It can be difficult to express romantic feelings and accept love, gratitude, or generosity. Can easily feel lonely, isolated, or negative in their relationships. May need more reassurance than they are willing to admit.

Venus Square Saturn: May have challenges in establishing stability and commitment in relationships. Saturn's restraint and seriousness can clash with Venus's desire for warmth and affection. This square makes it hard to fulfill emotional needs in relationships. Expressing wants and needs more is vital.

Venus Trine Saturn: Encourages a realistic approach to love, with a focus on long-term goals and responsible choices. It's beneficial for building enduring relationships and finding structure in creative or financial pursuits. Not being honest with oneself and/or falling into being around those who do not share your values or goals can be a challenge.

Venus Opposite Uranus: Uranus is the planet of sudden changes, which can disrupt the harmony Venus seeks. Relationships might experience sudden upheavals, or you might feel restless and desire more freedom often. It's important to find lovers, friends, and family who support your need for space, learning, and/or change.

Venus Square Uranus: Emotional closeness can be hard. Always finds themselves falling in and out of love or fascination. Inner and outer stability vs. instability is a common battle that needs to be fought.

Venus Trine Uranus: This aspect often leads to unexpected yet positive developments in relationships. This aspect may bless someone with an unpredictable, exciting, and different kind of love life. Can promote a lot of independence as well. May struggle with their more predictable, traditional, or cautious loved ones. Could have a complicated relationship with open-mindedness and acceptance among their loved ones.

Venus Opposite Neptune: Reality and fantasy can clash and cause frustrations in your relationships. Be careful of putting others on pedestal.

Venus Square Neptune: May run into unrealistic expectations, deception, or disappointment in relationships. Being more realistic and grounded in your relationships may be needed.

Venus Trine Neptune: Creates a dreamy, romantic energy. It can enhance creativity, intuition, and empathy in relationships. It's an excellent aspect for artistic pursuits, spirituality, and finding beauty. This placement can still struggle with illusions and manipulation like many other Neptune placements.

Venus Opposite Pluto: There can be intense emotional power struggles in relationships. There can also be profound transformations or challenges in many of your relationships that lead to empowerment and self-mastery.

Venus Square Pluto: Associated with control, power dynamics, jealousy, and possessiveness in relationships. Needs to learn to manage their own intensity when it gets out of control or unhealthy. Or may need to learn how to listen to themselves more in relationships, follow their intuition/heart.

Venus Trine Pluto: Intense and passionate in their relationships but in a way that is magnetic, sexy, and maybe commanding. It's a great aspect for deepening intimacy and fostering meaningful growth in relationships. But those with this placement can become unchanging or controlling in their relationships too. Their attachments may usually be harmonious or loving but they can also be extremely strong.

[lafemmemacabre]

When I first started to see the very blatant signs that I might not be "fully straight" I thought my life was over.

Truly, I should've known I wasn't even into guys at all, but with all the indoctrination both religious and secular I was under, it's no wonder I just assumed I liked boys "too", but if realizing that I liked girls was scary and life-ending on itself, just the thought that I maybe ONLY liked girls and not guys at all was the most terrifying, suicide-worthy possibility to me.

I fainted for the first time the morning my mom told me she'd read the stuff I wrote venting about the looming terror of my own possible "bisexuality" and she was very clearly not happy about it or with me. Like, full on just everything went to black, my body went cold, pins and needles, paralyzed, and I lost consciousness for a few seconds.

I wish my almost 33 years old self could travel back in time and tell my 15 years old self that yes, not only are you not straight, you don't even like boys, and that while you're suffering a lot for it right now and want to kill yourself over it, your life will be amazing with time, and the lesbianism you're currently cursing and considering killing yourself over, is pretty much 95% of the reason you have anything good going on in your life now.

I wish I could tell my 15 years old self that through lesbianism they'd meet the love of their life, and that this beautiful butch lesbian, the real life incarnation of all the things society and their parents taught them to despise while subconsciously desiring it, would change their life around in ways they never imagined would be possible.

I don't know if my 15 years old self would've believed my time-traveling current-self about the incredible joy and fulfilling happiness lesbianism has given me. Knowing me, I might have trusted my older self's words but not felt the hope in my heart at the same time. I just still wish I could tell them.

It's heartwarming that now, for a lot of people, realizing that they're a lesbian is a moment of shocking joy and liberation, or even coveted mundane normalcy. It's great that what used to be a near death sentence for lots of us back in the mid 00s and earlier, for people younger than us, it's more and more common for it to be a positive discovery or just a neutral fact of life. But it's not always the case, even today, even in liberal urban centers.

To all the people coming to terms with their lesbianism less like receiving great or mundane news, and more like being told a loved one is terminally ill, please know lesbianism can end up being the greatest reason for your future joys.

I suffered so much back then. I legitimately, non-hyperbolically, thought my life was downright over. That I'd never be able to have a normal life, that my parents would forever despise me for who I was unless I lived the whole rest of my life in hiding, that everyone around me would look at me with utter repulsion at knowing who and what I was, and I myself was disgusted and ashamed of what I was starting to realize I might be. I wanted to die if I couldn't just be normal about one (1) thing for once; if I couldn't have a husband, if I couldn't find a way to feel emotionally and sexually fulfilled by a man like I was taught I should be, unless I was monstrously broken in some detestable way.

But I'm glad now. I'm glad to be who I am now, I'm glad that I couldn't find that emotional fulfilling ever with a man because if I could maybe I wouldn't have met and married my wife, and regardless of gender, I can't imagine spending the rest of my life with anyone other than them.

And maybe, some day, you'll be glad to be who you are too, like I am now.

Thank you, lesbianism. Sincerely and seriously, thank you so fucking much.