#endwhiteprivilege
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rndyounghowze ¡ 4 years ago
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Black Noses And My Personal History With White Supremacy
I finally got the courage to talk about something that Dana has been challenging me to post about for a while. #blm #stopwhiteterrorism
By Ricky and Dana Young-Howze
Mays Landing, NJ
Venmo: @rndyounghowze
I have a very vivid memory of being teased on the school bus in elementary school for having “a black nose and lips”. Until I got glasses and was diagnosed with Tourettes it was the common theme of my playground bullying. My biggest role model at the time was our bus driver Mr. Garland (I think that was his name) because he defended me. I remember trying to make up some story about how I got plastic surgery and they messed up my nose. He looked me dead in the eye and said “we have to be proud of what we look like. We are beautiful inside and out. They’re ugly on the inside. That’s what makes us better”.
I lived with my grandmother during the week and my parents on the weekends. My mom and dad lived in one of the first “projects” in the US and at that time they were one of two white families living there. I would be playing with the kids in the playground and a Black mom who would be watching us would tell me to come up to them and she would hold my chin in her hand and turn my head for inspection to the other mothers sitting there smoking cigarettes. She would tell me “I don’t care what your mom and dad told you” and would let me go back and play. I never really knew what she meant.
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Flash forward to high school. I decided that I wanted to dive into my family history. I was in a play about the Confederate Flag and I remembered that I had family on both sides of the war. I had enough info about my family to join the Sons of Confederate Veterans. I also knew that my family up In Kentucky had fought in the Union. I was proud to have “heritage” on both sides.
I was rooting through photo albums in my Dad’s mom’s house. I came upon a family bible that was really old. It had to be old enough to be owned by the parts of the family that lived in the Appalachian Mountains in the 1800’s. Family bibles used to have these front pages that listed weddings and births. Listed in the middle is a marriage between a woman with the last name Jung and a man named Richard with no last name. This would not have meant anything except that after his name they took the time to list him as “a n*****r”. They then spent a paragraph talking about how he fought in the Civil War and saved lives in a battle by shooting a superior officer and allowing the company to retreat. So he was a n*****r but he was a “good n*****r”.
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I knew that the story was that our family had changed our last name from Jung to Young to avoid discrimination. My Dad’s side of the family has an outstanding military history and I know they were worried about appearing to have German ties in the war. I eventually went across the street and asked my great grandfather about this. The only thing he ever told me was “marry a girl with the Irish in her. It’s the best thing you could do.” My great grandfather passed away while I was in Highschool. My grandfather passed away in college. After the funeral I went to the house and looked for the family Bible. I had held it in my hand four times in three years. It was gone. I have never found it again. My Dad has special needs, his mom has dementia. The rest of my Dad’s family has never spoken to me after the funeral. It may be because I married a Black person. Maybe not. I will never know.
One time while driving through my mom’s side of the family’s hometown I saw a church sign that had the family name on it. I asked why we never went there and she just casually said “that must belong to the Black families that live here that share our last name”. I was floored by this. We had a black side of the family? What!? She was quick to tell me that they were in no way related. It was just that the family was as old as we were and had lived in that town as long as we had. My family has lived there and owned land there since before the Civil War. I have been digging into the genealogy based on what she has told me and after two or three generations the family line with our last name seems to disappear. Two white branches of the family go back eight or so generations and seem to have married into the family three generations or so back but there don’t seem to be any birth or death records in their town that support her story that the family had been there for a very long time. There is no not-slave-owning explanation for this. To this day my grandmother refuses to talk about it. She leans into the Scots-Irish side of the story.
In grad school when I first met Dana they made sure to do two things: Tell a very wrong Obama joke and then ask me what I was mixed with. The joke was to see if I reacted to the joke in a ”white way” (their words). If I did they would never feel comfortable being alone with me ever much less date me. The second question is because they saw what every other Black person I know saw. I told them what I knew about the probable Black man on my Dad’s side and my theory about my Mom's side. They kinda looked flabbergasted. Like they were surprised I admitted it.
Dana and I fell hard in love and spent three years trying to do the long-distance relationship thing. We had very long talks about race and whiteness. We had to have massive discussions about privilege and culture. I had reading lists and albums and homework that I had to do and Dana readily admits that in a lot of ways I already ”got it”. However, it was never enough. They wanted me to make a conscious decision to marry into a black family and know what I was getting into.
In August of 2014, I had just gotten back from spending a summer with Dana and I was using my hour before work to buy an engagement ring. I had two months to move to NJ so that we could start a job together. I heard on the news that Michael Brown was shot by a white cop in Ferguson. It hit me like a ton of bricks. It was the first time that the weight of what I was doing rang home in the deepest parts of me. I was marrying a Black person. At the time I wanted to bring children into this world. It finally dawned on me that those children were going to be Black. Just as the math in my childhood was Black nose+white skin=white guy the calculus done in a cop’s head was not going to add up well for our children. I worked at a church so I went to the altar and prayed. I prayed for a whole hour. I got the ring and moved to NJ. Dana and I were married five months later. I never looked back.
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Why am I saying this now? Because white supremacy is the scourge of American Theatre. It's the reason why our Asian American artists are afraid to walk the streets at night. It's the reason why our Black artists are having to stand up and form their coalitions to get work done without a ”white yes”. It's the reason why even though I have photographic proof that the Cis males in my family have slowly gotten paler with every generation and that I know with absolute certainty that there is a Black contribution to my heritage somewhere that they locked it down and hid it from me like it was a crime (and it was until Loving V. Virginia, the very state my Dad's side of the family hails from). They appear to have bred as much of it out of me as possible by marrying women with ”Irish” in them. I feel like I was force-fed the blue pill and sidelined from my culture. I will never be black. I’m not even trying to be. I am just sickened that something that every Black person I’ve met can see may or may not come from a heritage that was stolen from me and hidden so well I can probably only prove it with a DNA test.
Whiteness is not a culture, it is an allergic reaction to the existence of BIPOC contributions to American life. It is cancer in our American Theatre and we have predominantly white institutions that are standing out like tumors in our cultural landscape. I am singularly focused on rooting them out not just because I'm married to a BIPOC artist. I'm rooting them out so that I can claim all of my cultures so that I can make reparations for the harm that has happened in my personal history. To create me BIPOC heritage may have had to be bred out and hidden and I may never be able to prove it. The sheer insinuation is enough to sicken me. I will uncover it and amplify my ancestors’ stories if I can find them. I will create a culture where this doesn't have to happen again. It ends with me.
**************Similar Posts*************
https://rickyyoung-howze.tumblr.com/post/620134497865842688/our-promise-to-theatre
*****A Word From Our Sponsors*****
We have a YouTube Channel. We’re working furiously to get new videos up weekly.
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We have official merch now! Keep us fed and get gifts for the family all at the same time!
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Wanna be a sponsor? Email us for rates at [email protected]
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theunicornblogger ¡ 5 years ago
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Super cool shirts that donate money to good causes
Name of product | Quote from website to where proceeds go
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https://nobadapples.bigcartel.com/product/no-bad-apples-tee | Bad Apples Tee: “100% of proceeds will be donated to help rebuild Minneapolis small businesses and defund Minneapolis police, through the "We Love Lake Street" & "Reclaim the Block" organizations.” -$20 
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https://oneofthesedaysco.com/products/peaceful-revolution-longsleeve-shirt | Peaceful Revolution Longsleeve Shirt: “100% of the proceeds of this shirt will be donated through Act Blue to be split evenly between: Black Lives Matter Global, Network, National Bail Out, Know Your Rights Camp, Black Voters Matter Fund, BYP100, NAACP Legal Defense and Educational Fund, The National Police Accountability Project, Color of Change Education Fund, Unicorn Riot, Campaign Zero, Advancement Project, The Marshall Project” -$120
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https://www.freshjive.com/products/black-is-not-a-crime-tee-black | Black Is Not a Crime Tee: “100% of the profits go to The Equal Justice Initiative (EJI), committed to ending mass incarceration and excessive punishment in the United States, to challenge racial and economic injustice, and to protecting basic human rights for the most vulnerable people in American society.” -$40
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https://hypland.com/collections/all/products/western-blm-shirt-black?variant=34508353306787 | Western BLM Shirt: “AS A BLACK OWNED BUSINESS, WE ARE OUTRAGED BY THE HISTORICAL AND MOST RECENT EVENTS REGARDING POLICE BRUTALITY AND RACISM IN AMERICA. WE STAND IN SOLIDARITY WITH ALL GROUPS, BUSINESSES, AND INDIVIDUALS IN THEIR QUEST TO ADDRESS THESE ISSUES WHICH HAVE POISONED AMERICA FOR CENTURIES. IT IS TIME FOR EVERYONE TO TAKE A STAND, REGARDLESS OF YOUR SKIN COLOR OR NATIONALITY. 
TO SUPPORT WE ARE RE-RELEASING OUR 2017 BLACK HISTORY MONTH COLLECTION, AND 100% OF PROCEEDS RAISED WILL BE DONATED TOWARDS A CALIFORNIA BASED ORGANIZATION WHOSE MISSION IS TO ADDRESS SYSTEMIC RACISM AND VIOLENCE.” -$28
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https://www.menacelosangeles.com/collections/products/products/no-justice-no-peace-uv-reactive-print-t-shirt | No Justice No Peace UV Reactive Print T-Shirt:  “NO JUSTICE, NO PEACE! 100% of proceeds from this item will be donated to the Colin Kaepernick Know Your Rights Camp, an organization dedicated to educating and empowering Black and Brown communities.” -$45
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https://www.hyperflybrand.com/collections/new/products/the-george-floyd-tee | The George Floyd Tee: “So many shootings that so often go ignored by mainstream media - the names on this shirt represent the Black men and boys who have been shot and killed by police under suspicious circumstances can serve as a tragic reminder of the dangers Black and brown citizens face upon being born into a world of hate that has branded them as suspects since birth.
All proceeds of this shirt will be donated to the Gianna Floyd Fund. We are currently working on putting together a list of ways we can all make a difference and support the cause as well as real change.” -$50
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https://foreverylivingthing.com/collections/winter-19/products/fuck-you-if-youre-racist-tee | Fuck You If You’re Racist Tee: “Fuck you if you’re racist 
All profits will be donated to the National Bail Out fund.” -$20
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https://babylon.la/collections/summer-20/products/bailout-tee | Rights Tee: “100% of the proceeds from this tee will be donated to The Bail Project to help release protestors who have been arrested in the streets for using their voices to make a change. We originally released this graphic in 2015 but we feel this is more relevant now than ever. If you can’t purchase a tee we suggest you do whatever it is you can to help the cause whether it be spreading useful information, signing petitions, protesting etc.. Now is the time for action. Stick together. Make a plan. Rise above.” -$46
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https://www.shftworld.com/shop/thisblacklifematters | This Black Life Matters// AB Media Group x Shft World: “100% OF PROFIT FROM SALES  WILL BE SPLIT 50/50 BETWEEN THE OFFICIAL GEORGE FLOYD  MEMORIAL FUND & BLACK VISIONS COLLECTIVE.” -$30 for adults BUT THEY HAVE SOME FOR BABIES STARTING AT $14 SO IF YOU HAVE A BABY BUY ONE AND POST PICS BECAUSE AWWWW
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https://nosleeprecords.com/products/we-stand-with-you-shirt | We Stand With You Shirt: “100% of proceeds to be donated to George Floyd, Black Visions Collective, Reclaim the Block, The Bail Project and Facing History.” -$20 
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jointheuproar ¡ 5 years ago
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DEFUND POLICE
Designed by Alex Nassour
DOWNLOAD HERE
HOW TO PRINT
*free for non-commercial use only with attribution under Creative Commons License
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rahachi ¡ 4 years ago
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How to be an anti-racist #9. DM me for a link to the full article. Its a fast, easy, and *important* read. #endracism #endwhitesupremacy #endwhiteprivilege #howtobeanantiracist #howtobeanally https://www.instagram.com/p/CJwTCsGgD6_nWTDIP4wednAnC4fZvc7WxNJTh40/?igshid=11bf3sctxu2q
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whatsheread ¡ 5 years ago
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Let me know if this is as true for you as it is for me! . . #endwhiteprivilege #endtoxicmasculinity #BlackLivesMatter https://www.instagram.com/p/CBHunmdghhn/?igshid=18n7yy0yi7al9
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coffeedogsandbooks ¡ 5 years ago
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These aren’t my originals but they have been all over social media as ideas of what you can do to help. I for one will be reading, watching, and learning as much as I can and trying to share that knowledge. I hear you and you matter. #blacklivesmatter #endwhiteprivilege #learnandgrow #dontstaysilent https://www.instagram.com/p/CA9EWfogrfc/?igshid=1g91mwjwhouan
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flipklick ¡ 7 years ago
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Yal can keep playing SLEEP, DUMB or wutevr you wanna call it... but this covert racism shxt is starting to get waaaaay more blatant under Trump. All you token black ass niggaz finna really have to be on some coon shxt to stay down.. I could NEVER! On my SOUL! 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 #SezWhoRight #BoycottTheBowl2018 #BlackLivesSTILLMatter #saveHipHop #stopRacism #endWHITEprivilege
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inshallah-clothing ¡ 8 years ago
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And he isn't labeled a terrorist why ?? Oh yeah cause he isn't Muslim ! Let this have been me who've killed 50 people and injured 400 . My whole family would be under investigation with possible international terrorist ties. This is BS that piss me off !! Look up the definition of Terrorist and tell me what it says .. If someone grabs a gun and go out killing random people you're a terrorist PERIOD. If you're Muslim, Christian, Jew etc.... Sad times 😢☹️ Inshallah everyone pray for the victims and their loved ones. #GUNCONTROL #endwhiteprivilege
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jointheuproar ¡ 5 years ago
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TRUMP
Designed by Michael Kleinman
DOWNLOAD HERE
HOW TO PRINT
*free for non-commercial use only with attribution under Creative Commons License
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rahachi ¡ 4 years ago
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How to be an anti-racist #8. DM me for a link to the full article. Its a fast, easy, and *important* read. #endracism #endwhitesupremacy #endwhiteprivilege #howtobeanantiracist #howtobeanally https://www.instagram.com/p/CJwSVxdgP7nRxsZcPNJDf_v0dyvZSCGcaH6hNc0/?igshid=5kzr6jwkpfj0
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whatsheread ¡ 5 years ago
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Being uncomfortable with my posts reminding you about the bigotry and systemic racial injustice that permeates this country is a small price to pay for not having to fear for your life like Black people do every day of their lives. . #endpolicebrutality #endwhiteprivilege #blacklivesmatter https://www.instagram.com/p/CBBQtH4AaMc/?igshid=zv4e1mzqd544
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nedalot ¡ 8 years ago
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Why is it so hard to talk about it? And why cuss it ain't new it's not interesting/important enough. 😤🤒😷🙄 . Regram queen @ramdasha 💖✨💖. X. X. X. X. C c c. Cv. C cc. #endwhitesupremacy #endwhiteprivilege #endwhitesilence #bepartofthesolution
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jointheuproar ¡ 5 years ago
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CHECK YOUR PRIVILEGE
Designed by Alex Cannon
DOWNLOAD HERE
HOW TO PRINT
*free for non-commercial use only with attribution under Creative Commons License
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rahachi ¡ 4 years ago
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How to be an anti-racist #7. DM me for a link to the full article. Its a fast, easy, and *important* read. #endracism #endwhitesupremacy #endwhiteprivilege #howtobeanantiracist #howtobeanally https://www.instagram.com/p/CJwSBZBg0nyWEGLW3igCOEy3GPPv2pGNFYvqLc0/?igshid=gq6w0q23juzn
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thewanderingswordsman2030 ¡ 9 years ago
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My face when White people say that Farrakhan and the NOI hate them. It's white supremacy and white privilege we hate. Can't hate something that's acting in its nature. Get out cho feelings. #DearWhitePeople #EndWhiteSupremacy #EndWhitePrivilege
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