#especially after everyone knows how mcu is run nowadays

[thetimelordbatgirl]

Kevin Fiege when there are Marvel Films that aren't related to the MCU and therefore actually allowed the directors and writers to do what they wanted with the story and characters:

[elcorhamletlive]

fandom: MCU (somewhere post-AOU) ship: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark tags: Fluff, humour, awkward flirting, Steve Rogers and the 21st century. summary: On a beach day with the team, Tony has strong feelings about Steve's choice of outfit.

(inspired by this panel)

“Please, tell me you’re joking.”

Steve raises an eyebrow at Tony as he lands, splashing sand around. The armor strips off Tony’s body, slowly exposing the physique he’s definitely flaunting after all those sparring sessions with Thor, because he deserves it, damnit, and revealing the choice of his red, tight, and, according to certain tabloids, “characteristically tacky” speedo.

In Tony’s opinion, however, Steve’s outfit is much worse.

He had barely believed it when he saw it, hovering over the beach and preparing to land. He had just announced his arrival over the comms to everyone else, and, yeah, maybe he should have been focused on saying hello to the Barton children, who were shrieking excitedly about seeing Iron Man, but instead he immediately focused his vision to check out Steve’s choice of bathing attire, and what he found was scandalizing.

“It’s more comfortable than anything you have nowadays,” Steve argues, as he stands there in his 40s beach suit, which consists of a pair of blue shorts that looks like they gave up halfway to becoming hot pants (much to Tony’s disappointment), absurdly paired with a brown belt.

“This belongs in a museum, Cap,” Tony argues. He might be a little heartbroken by the fact that Steve is not in a speedo – ever since Clint mentioned the beach vacation, Tony had been strategically instructing JARVIS to include “increasingly revealing swimwear” in the first suggested Google searches for any device used in the Tower, and maybe he dreamed of Steve choosing to break everyone’s expectations by wearing a G-string and making Tony’s day.

“Some would argue that so do I,” Steve counters. Tony rolls his eyes. By now he’s learned to tell the difference between when Steve is genuinely feeling obsolete and sad because of his man out of time status, and when he’s just playing up the role of the old man to get the kids out of his lawn.

And Tony isn’t getting out of his lawn anytime soon.

Speaking of kids, Clint’s catch up to them immediately, surrounding Tony with excited voices and even more excited questions.

Tony spends a while drawing armor schematics in the sand for the mini Bartons, until they get tired and decide to go ask “Aunt Nat” for piggyback rides.

He watches as they run to her. Oh, to be young and unafraid of death.

He takes advantage of the little break to look around. Clint and Natasha are enjoying the sea, and maybe Tony should have been surprised this idea came from them of all people, but then again, maybe not. Bruce is sitting on a towel under an umbrella, along with Clint’s wife. Tony would be worried that he’s not having fun, but, according to him, the other guy finds the ocean strangely calming.

Thor is next to them, sunbathing. As soon as he stands up, Tony finds out at least someone put those G-string ads for good use.

Tony eyes the mighty buttocks, because of course he does. They’re not Steve’s, but you have to work with what you got.

“What is the matter with my trunks?” Steve’s voice cuts through Tony’s scientific observation. He sounds grumpy, which makes Tony look, because grumpy Steve is really cute, especially when his face is flushed from the sun.

“Nothing,” Tony says magnanimously. He can think of several matters, in fact, but to be honest, he can’t deny Steve looks really adorable in the ridiculous, old-fashioned shorts. He looks like an overgrown, obscenely muscular boy scout. Tony both wants to make fun of him and bite him. “I just don’t know why you’re so averse to modern clothing.”

“I’m not.” He looks away from Tony, eyes also finding the unavoidable view of Thor’s ass. His flush deepens, and his gaze quickly shifts to the sand. “I just wouldn’t feel comfortable in something so… revealing.”

“It’s all a matter of habit,” Tony says with a joking roll of his hips.

He’s unprepared by how Steve stares straight at him. “Maybe,” he says, and his mouth curls into something that, if Tony didn’t know better, he’d call mischievous. Then he shifts, face very red as he stares at a seashell.

“I don’t know how Thor does it,” he says, distant, his voice sounds… suspiciously, threateningly innocent, and if Tony didn’t know better he’d think—“When I tried it on, I found the string very uncomfortable.”

Holy shit.

“You. Uh.” Tony stands there as his brain melts, leaking out of his ears and flooding the sand with genius I.Q. “You… own one of those?”

Steve’s eyes spark with some amount of shyness and some amount of something definitely dangerous. “You’re always telling me to switch it up.” He shrugs. “So I thought I’d try it on.” He tilts his head just a little, and he has to be unaware he’s looking at Tony through those absurdly long eyelashes right now, right? He… has to. “Not sure if the beach is the best place to wear it, though.”

The few remaining brain cells Tony has left work on relearning the alphabet. “…Right. And, might I inquire—what would be the place to wear it?”

“Uh, not sure,” Steve shrugs with one shoulder, eyes darting away, and it’s that, that weird layer of nervousness under all the coyness, that’s a fucking danger to society and everything it holds holy. It’s menacing. “I mean, you—uh, you obviously know more about 21st century fashion than me. I guess I thought you could have some… ideas.”

Tony opens his mouth to reply with what is hopefully a collection of very creative ideas that are also nearby and accessible at this very instant, but he’s interrupted by the full smash of a beach ball right on his face, so strong it nearly knocks him to the ground.

“Sorry,” Natasha says from the water, not sounding sorry at all. The children, all around her in their little floats, don’t bother with the courtesy.

“Maybe you should play with us to get revenge,” Lila suggests, clearly not one for subtlety.

After a brief moment where he seems to check if Tony is okay, Steve laughs. He stands up, clasping Tony’s shoulder.

“Come on,” he says. “Let’s give them a fair fight.” And then, unless Tony is actually delirious because of the sunlight, he perks his hips a little, grinning slyly with those damn flushed cheeks: “And then later we can, uh, brainstorm.”

It maybe be the dorkiest come-on Tony’s ever gotten, but, as he follows Steve’s cute, 1940s-styled butt to the sea, he can only be thankful the water is cold.

[hymn2000]

Where The Darkness Ends - MCU AU fanfic - C6

Story summary: The concept of having a baby has been more of an idea for a long time now. Ideal candidates for a three-person baby, Loki and Tony have finally, after many Peter-based setbacks and challenges, got to the point of being tested. Now, they just have to wait for the results before they can move on to the next stage.

Previous Chapter(s): 1 2 3 4 5

Part of my Frostiron and Spiderson series.

Warnings/themes: family stuff, mental health stuff, hurt/comfort, hospital/medical stuff, fertility stuff, IVF, potentially some medical inaccuracies, alcohol misuse

You can also find me on AO3

Chapter 6 - A Couple Of Vodka And Tonics

-

Thor knew from experience what damage staying inside for days on end could do for a person, so when Peter woke up in the morning, he told him to get dressed and get his shoes on. Peter did as he was told, and joined Thor by the front door when they were both ready to go.

“Where are we going?”

“I need a few things from a couple of shops, and they’re right near a game arcade. I thought you might enjoy that”

“Oh!” Peter said. “I haven’t been to an arcade for ages. Well, not here, at least. We go to them on holiday when we go to the beach. They’re kinda different though. Some of the games are similar, but not all of them”

“It gives you something to do if nothing else” Thor said. “Come along. We’ll walk and get breakfast on the way there”

“Ok” Peter said. “What kind of breakfast?”

“Well, what would you like?”

Peter thought about it while Thor locked the door and they went down the stairs onto the street. At first he really wasn’t sure, but then the more he thought about it...

“Bagels” Peter said. “I kinda fancy the ones we have at school, and I know I can’t have those. But there’s a whole bunch of places that sell bagels in town. I know you can just get one with cream cheese, and that’s a good thing. Especially if you get a coffee too”

“Do your parents let you drink coffee now?” 

“Well, they do when I’m out. I don’t know why. I guess dad thinks a cappuccino or a latte or whatever is less coffee-like than the stuff he drinks. Or the instant stuff”

“An interesting take”

Peter shrugged. “I guess it is. I kinda just drink my chai tea, especially nowadays. I’ve kinda been in to it ever since daddy first introduced me to it. So that’s a pretty long time now”

“It is rather. My, it feels like almost a hundred years ago. It’s been a long decade”

Peter nodded slightly. “Dad’s gonna take me out for tea tonight. We’re not gonna be out too late, are we? Just he always gets to yours at seven, so...”

“We’ll be back in plenty of time for that, don’t you worry”

Peter breathed out, and nodded. “Good. I’d feel awful if we got back late and kept him waiting or something”

Thor rested a hand on the boys head. “Don’t you worry. I’ll make sure we’re back in time”

-

They went to the arcade first. Peter felt a little unsure at first, but he liked being with Thor, and he didn’t want to annoy him by changing his mind or being awkward. They had a little wander, and Peter stopped by one of the big shooting games with chunky plastic blue and pink gun shaped controllers. 

“Ooh, can we play this one?” he said. “These are pretty fun”

“We can play whatever you like” Thor said, slotting a coin into the machine and picking up the pink gun controller.

“Wait, is it ok if I’m pink?”

“Ok” Thor said, swapping places with him and picking up the blue gun instead.

They got into the game pretty quickly, and Peter found himself concentrating enough to forget about his current predicament for a while. 

“I used to come here with Ned” Peter said. “Ages and ages ago, even though it wasn’t really our area. We used to come quite a lot. It’s changed since then, though. New games and stuff. We got the high score on this old pinball machine, and I don’t think it was ever beaten. At least, not as far as I know”

“Maybe we could find it and have a look. Pinball isn’t that old, is it?”

“It kinda is, I think” Peter said. “They’re pretty retro. There used to be a pinball game on old computers. It was on some of the old models I used to have at the flat. I used to spend hours playing it. I was pretty good, but I mainly played because I liked the noises it made. It was kinda nice”

“You don’t really go in for that kind of thing any more”

“No, not really. I guess because I got so depressed after May died, and there’s a bunch of things I never picked up again after everything that happened. I’m not really sure there’s anything I miss anymore. Aside from Ned, maybe. But even then, that’s only when I think about it for too long” he lowered the gun, looking at the end score flashing up on the screen. “I always feel like everyone’s leaving me behind”

“Why’s that?” Thor asked, setting his controller down.

“Well. My parents died when I was little. I don’t remember them, but still. And then my uncle died. I do remember him, but the memories are starting to go pretty fuzzy. And then Liz moved away. We’re friends now, and we keep in touch, but even so. And then May died. I think that one hurt the most” he turned the gun over in his hands and then carefully set it down on its stand. “Then it was Ned, cutting me out of his life. And now my dads are at home while I’m at yours. That was horrible in a different way. It made me think of that bit in The Fox and The Hound, you know, like, when the old lady puts the fox in the car and he’s all excited but then she notices she’s sad and he doesn’t know why, and then she takes him to the woods and leaves him there and he doesn’t understand, and then he gets all scared and rained on. It felt like that... Have you seen that film?”

“Once” Thor said. “It made your daddy cry. He used to cry at lots of films”

“He still does. He cries at books too. And music”

“He can get very emotional” Thor said. “Do you want to play this one again?”

Peter shook his head. “Let’s find something else”

-

Peter stopped in front of the old pinball machine. The top ten high scores were displayed on the screen. There, still in first place, was ‘Peter and Ned’. Peter’s heart thudded as he looked at it. He’d hoped that, if the machine was still there, the score had been beaten. That way it wouldn’t feel so much like a painful memory. But there it was, evidence after the fact. It felt strange seeing it. But it had been like that for a long time, Peter and Ned, find one and find the other. It was that horrible meeting in the cafe with the blue curtains and broken neon sign that had been the tipping point. Or, maybe it was all the texts he didn’t respond to. He wasn’t really sure any more. It had been so long. Too long. He couldn’t really remember. But he knew that deep down, under all of it, losing Ned still hurt. 

Thor put a hand on Peter’s shoulder.

“Are you ok?”

Peter swallowed and looked up at him. “Let’s go and have a look at those claw games. All the arcades we went to on holiday had those play till you win ones”

Thor nodded slightly. “Ok”

They had a look at all the claw machines, but none of them were the prize every time ones that Peter was hoping to find. He pouted.

“That’s no good. I can’t do the normal ones; I always lose”

“I’m ok at them” Thor said. “What do you want?”

Peter thought for a moment, and then shrugged. “I don’t know”

Thor turned and slotted a coin into one of the machines. Peter leant against him, watching. Thor missed completely the first two times, but on the third try he caught a funny smiling toy monkey. On the fourth go, he dropped a toy parrot into the prize return. On the fifth and final go, he got a fluffy toy rabbit with a soulful expression and soft little fluffy tail. 

Thor picked the three toys up out of the prize door and held them out to Peter.

“Take your pick”

“You’re amazing!” Peter said, carefully taking the toy rabbit from him. “I like this one... Thank you”

“You’re welcome. You can have all of them if you like”

“I think you should keep the other two. They can go on your windowsill with those teddies daddy got for you”

“Good idea” Thor said, putting the monkey and parrot in his bag. “How about one of those racing games?”

Peter smiled. “Ok!”

They went over and jumped into the plastic seats at one of the racing games and put some money in. The loud revving and music started up, and Peter couldn’t help but laugh. It felt good to do something totally childish and fun for once.

-

They spent a good hour or more messing about in the arcade, and Peter had a great time. He soon forgot about everything that was troubling him, and instead got lost in the little bit of excitement of something different, grabbing Thor’s arm and dragging him over to this game and that game, his little rabbit tucked under his arm all the while.

When they left the arcade, Peter was still giggling, giddily happy, and was content to wander round the shops with Thor without making any kind of fuss. He felt good, and Thor was generous and bought him a few more treats. He had a feeling it was more of a sympathy thing than anything else, despite Thor not being the kind of man to go in for that kind of thing. Still, Peter wasn’t complaining. It was just good to be able to do something nice.

-

They had a late lunch before heading back to the flat. Peter helped Thor sort out all of the shopping, and then put his phone on to charge.

“I think I’m gonna have a bath” he said. “Dad said we’d go somewhere nice. I’m sure he packed some of my nicer clothes. Maybe I should iron something”

“I’ll do it for you if you choose some” Thor said. “There’s no rush; it’s still fairly early”

“It’s nearly four!” Peter said. “This day has gone quickly. I’m glad we only had a little lunch. Imagine if we got to the restaurant and I didn’t have an appetite!”

“I don’t think that’s going to be a problem. Go and have your bath”

“Ok, ok. I’ll pick out my clothes first and leave them on my bed. Are you sure you’re ok with ironing them?”

“Certain” Thor said. “Run along now. Remember to turn the whistle to the taps”

Peter laughed slightly. Thor had one of those baths with a shower build in above it, and he’d made the mistake of trying to run a bath without turning the lever before, and it wasn’t a mistake he really wanted to repeat. 

“I will. Right, I’ve wasted enough time. I’m gonna go and have my bath”

-

Peter had a long bath, and he felt better for it. He took his time washing his face and hair and body and scrubbing his nails. He knew Tony wasn’t feeling well right now, so maybe seeing his son seemingly well taken care of would help ease the burden a bit. Besides, if they were going somewhere nice, Peter wanted to look the part. 

He dried himself thoroughly, although there was only so much he could do about his hair, which remained quite damp. Still, he combed it out and decided that since it was no longer dripping wet, it would be fine. 

Thor had ironed his chosen clothes to perfection, and set them carefully on the bed. Peter took his time a little, applying deodorant and a bit of body spritzer and cologne. He checked the time and saw it was already six o’ clock. Well, at least he had another hour to continue getting ready. He bit his thumb, wondering if he should wait and get dressed in a little while.

There was a knock on the door.

“Just a minute!” Peter yelped. He quickly pulled on his dressing gown to cover his dignity. “Yeah?”

The door opened. 

“I thought you might want a drink” Thor said, holding a mug out to him.

“Oh! Thank you” Peter said, taking the mug and taking a quick sip. 

“Now, are you sure you don’t want anything to eat?”

“I’m sure. Dad’s taking me out for tea, remember? I wanna save myself. Besides, we had a late lunch”

“True” Thor said. “Well, drink your tea at least. I’ll leave you to finish getting ready. Anything else you need before I go?”

“No, I think I’ve got everything” Peter said. “Thank you”

-

Peter took his time drinking his tea before getting dressed. He was careful to tuck in his shirt and straighten his collar so Tony wouldn’t do it for him. He found the one pair of good shoes he had with him and gave them a quick brush before slipping them up and neatly lacing them. Finally, he pulled on his blazer and looked at himself in the mirror. Well, he thought he looked ok. He looked smart, at least, and clean. Which was just about what he was going for. 

-

Peter checked his coat was hung up by the front door, ready to go. He checked the time. 6.45pm. Wow, the time had slipped away quite quickly. Only fifteen minutes until Tony would arrive. Lovely. He was primed and ready. He straightened is jacket.

“Peter?”

Peter spun round. “Oh! Hi, uncle Thor”

“You look good, little one. Very cute”

“Thank you” Peter beamed. “I’m gonna sit here and wait for dad”

“Ok, well I’ll just be in the other room if you need anything”

“Ok, thanks, uncle Thor”

Thor left him to it, and Peter sat down on the wooden chair in the hallway near the front door. He sat up straight with his feet together and his hands on his knees, the way some of the teachers at school told him to. He kept his eyes fixed on the door, and he waited.

And waited.

And waited.

He checked his watch. Seven fifteen. He frowned slightly and looked back at the door. He waited some more.

And he waited.

And waited.

And waited.

Seven forty-five.

Eight fifteen.

Eight forty-five.

Nine o’ clock. 

Peter took his phone out of his pocket. He had no new messages. He put it back and looked at the door again. Waiting.

-

“Peter?” Thor said gently. 

Peter didn’t look at him, his eyes still fixed on the door. Thor rested a hand on his shoulder.

“Peter, you need to think about going to bed now”

Peter twitched and then turned to him properly. “No! Dad’s taking me out”

“It’s nearly ten o’ clock, little one” Thor said. “It doesn’t look like he’s coming”

“But he said he would!” Peter protested. “He promised! Near enough”

“Peter. It’s late. It’s time to go to bed”

“No!” Tears sprung to Peter’s eyes. “No, I’m not going to bed! What if dad comes and I’m asleep?! We’re going out!”

“If he comes while you’re in bed, I’ll wake you up straight away” Thor said. “But look at the time, Peter. I think you need to accept that he’s not coming. It’s time to call it a night” 

Peter looked at him. He didn’t want to admit it, but he knew he was right. He’d been waiting for more than three hours. He wasn’t quite sure how to react. Part of him wanted to shake his head and sit defiantly where he was and refuse to move. Part of him wanted to throw himself on the floor and scream and kick and shout. And part of him wanted to go to his room and get undressed and crawl into bed and cry.

-

Thor went to check on Peter at around half ten. Peter was curled up on the duvet, crying into a pillow. His clothes were neatly folded on the chair, ready to go if they were needed. Thor sighed sadly and went and sat down on the edge of the bed, resting a hand on the boys bare shoulder.

“I know, sweetheart” he said. “I know”

Peter slowly sat up and held an arm out to him. Thor pulled him close and rocked him gently while he cried.

-

After Peter had finally fallen asleep, Thor went through to the living room and picked up the phone. 

“I’m sorry, but the person you have called is not available. Please leave a message after the tone”

Thor growled in annoyance. “Tony, it’s Thor. What the hell happened tonight? You could have at least let us know you weren’t coming. Poor little Peter waited for you for hours, and he’s been crying his eyes out. If you could only see the poor hurt look on that boys face! I know you’re upset and you’re having a tough time, but how dare you let him down like that? You’d better have a good excuse ready for when you come and see him tomorrow, because a simple sorry isn’t going to cut it”

-

Tony listened to Thor’s message a couple of times over. The sound of the phone had woken him up, and he’d waited for it to ring out before picking it up. He looked at the time and groaned. 

He hadn’t forgotten. Not exactly. 

He’d had a hard day. It had been a weird day, very fuzzy and confusing. But that was mainly because of the copious amounts of alcohol he’d consumed.

It hadn’t been the plan. True, he and Loki had gone overboard the previous night, and slept late as a result. They were going to try to sort things out today. But they were too depressed. Loki was still tired, so he went to his own room and went to sleep again. Tony couldn’t sleep, and the more he looked around, the more he noticed how good those dregs of alcohol looked. There was barely a shot left in a lot of the bottles around him, and wasting them seemed pointless. He just finished the few leftover bits. But then he wandered about, feeling lost, and still feeling drunk, and he kept thinking about the clinic, and the baby they’d planned for, and their little boy, and the horribleness that was reality. And he was thirsty. There was a half-empty bottle of vodka next to the sink in the kitchen. It seemed to do the trick. At least, it did at first. But then that bottle was empty, and he still wanted more. So he had more.

And more.

And more.

And more.

And then he’d fallen asleep.

And then his phone had woken him up. He listened to Thor’s message a third time as he lay on his stomach on the bed. He sighed, and send Peter a text.

‘I’m so sorry, kiddo. Something came up. Love you lots xxx’

He didn’t feel great about it, but he was too fatigued to dwell on it. He turned his phone into Do Not Disturb mode, rolled over, and fell back asleep.

-

Tony spiralled. It just happened. He didn’t bother trying to fight against it or think about how bad an idea it was. He didn’t have to work if he didn’t want to, and he didn’t. He just wanted to stay at home and numb his feelings. The more he drunk, the less he cried. It was hard to overthink when he was fuzzy with alcohol and weak from not eating properly. 

It seemed no time at all before the days all melded in to one and a week had passed. He didn’t leave the house. He didn’t reply to anyone’s messages. He wouldn’t even speak to Loki a lot of the time. Loki was too hurt to be of much use to anyone, and there was only so much he could do for Tony when he was like this. He tried, but he didn’t really get anywhere. He wasn’t giving up, but he wasn’t going out of his way to sort him either. He couldn’t. He spent a lot of time talking to Jo Jo, trying to clear his head enough to at least feed himself and wash his hair, if nothing else.

Tony didn’t seem to notice. He was quite happy to drink himself into a stupor, day after day. He didn’t want to talk to anyone. He spurned Loki’s suggestions of having Li Allen visit, or to go to a therapist, or a support group, or have a doctor come to see him. He was drinking too much to think straight, or make any effort at any type of recovery, and in his mind, he was perfectly fine just doing his own thing. One thing he did know, however, was that he didn’t want anyone interfering.

On the tenth day, Loki watched his husband washing down a packet of biscuits with a bottle of vodka, and he felt so tired and worn down and hopeless. He’d been trying to do things the right way, to come to terms with his infertility and the loss of the baby that never was, but he didn’t seem to be getting anywhere. So he picked up a bottle of Archers and started drinking too.

And all the while this was going on, every afternoon, at Thor’s flat, Peter would refuse to eat. Every evening, Peter would have a bath and get himself dried and dressed up, shoes and jacket on, ready to go. And every evening, at six thirty sharp, he would sit on the wooden chair in the hallway, hands on his knees and eyes on the door, waiting for his dad. And every night at ten o’ clock, Thor would put a hand on the boys shoulder, and he’d be forced to haul himself up and go to his room. And he’d get undressed and fold his clothes carefully and put them on the chair. And then he’d turn the lights out and crawl into bed and sob and howl and wail until he’d eventually cried himself to sleep.

*

[dontcallmecarrie]

I just binge read TWiFFON, and its sidefic and almost everything that's here about this universe and sadgkjhakjg you're amazing and this is amazing and I love you and this is one of the best fics (out of MCU fics especially) I've ever read. IM1 is one of my favorite movies ever, I love Tony very much and it hurts to see what they're doing to him in MCU (and what they're doing with all the characters, really), and I love your portrayal of him so much, because that's real Tony. (1/4)

Competent, genius Tony, owner of the huge company, the man, who, without the suit, is still the person who’s built this suit. From scraps. In a cave. In Afghanistan. While being tortured. Revolutionizing science on the way. I’m looking at you, Mr. I-Saw-The-Footage(And-Made-My-Judgment-Before-Actually-Meeting-You-And-Decided-You-Suck). Yeah, you can see how I just -love- Steve in this moment in “Avengers”. (2/4)

I always wondered what footage he saw, btw. From before-Afghanistan? From the IM2 Senate hearing? From the disastrous IM2 b-day party? Even if the scepter amplified their feelings, those feelings had to be there in the first place. And AoU and CW just make me go Hulk, so most of the time I pretend they didn’t happen and don’t exist unless we’re talking about -consequences-. It’s been years and I’m still bitter and salty as the Dead Sea. (¾)

Um. Anyways, I love you and your awesome fic, thank you so much for your writing

Glad you’re liking it so far, and thanks! 

Also: same. [the rest is under the cut because surprise meta’s apparently a thing, as are major spoilers, and I get very rambly, RIP mobile users otherwise.]

I got into the MCU when it first kicked off, and my favorite movie’s a toss-up between IM1 and The Avengers [though, due to recent events, I’m really leaning towards the former nowadays]. I love all the characters, and if I had a heart [because no, I don’t, nope, nothing’s ever made me tear up nope heart of stone right here], it’d be hurting because of the turn the MCU’s taken lately, and the level of character assassination I’ve seen is….the best comparison I can think of include the way Naruto ended [specifically, Sakura], or…well, you get the picture.

Just…the turn canon took, after Phase 1, left a bitter taste in my mouth. Tony’s my favorite character, and seeing how the world’s done its level best to break him when his origin story is literally him forging his armor from the guns that would’ve killed him otherwise is something that I have very strong feelings about. Add to that my spite after seeing the turn the fandom took after Civil War, and I couldn’t not write the fic where he actually [albeit accidentally] took over the world, by taking him back to his roots. 

[aka TWiFFON’s basically me venting passive-aggressively about the issues I have with the MCU]

As for my take on Steve? 

Even if it doesn’t look it, I kinda liked his character, early on. The way his character was mangled by the writers is another thing entirely, however, and after Phase 1 my enthusiasm didn’t wane so much as it tanked, especially after Age of Ultron. [ditto as to Civil War.]

But early on? I actually liked his character. My headcanon/take on his approach during the first Avengers movie was him being adrift in a world that’s moved on without him, so of course he’s clinging to what he remembers. 

That ended up being something that SHIELD/HYDRA took advantage of, though, and while Fury tried to help, the HYDRA guys did their level best to sabotage him, which succeeded in ways that don’t show up until later on. For instance, while Fury’s crew was the one to break the news of ‘so you slept 70 years, welcome to the future’, it was a HYDRA contingent that were the ones to ‘ease’ him into it, and so his briefings on history and whatnot were basically sabotaged. 

As in, they made sure to focus on the shitty parts of the past century, and glossed over the progress, and did their best to be subtle about it so that when Fury came around, he thought it was ‘okay Steve’s still settling in and hurting’ rather than ‘Steve’s hurting and everywhere he looks only makes it worse’. I mean, it wouldn’t even have been hard; breaking the news would’ve been dicey enough as is, but I can guarantee that HYDRA would’ve pulled no punches in painting everything to be as shitty as they could. 

I mean, even if they were trying to help, it would’ve been hard enough: because good luck updating the guy who literally did a suicide run to prevent his home country from being bombed about the Manhattan Project. 

That alone would’ve been messy enough, but also going through Korea and Vietnam and the list just goes on, while also trying to go ‘we’re the good guys’, and I’m pretty sure Steve’s faith in humanity would’ve taken a hit somewhere in there. And that’s if it was SHIELD who was doing it; if it was HYDRA instead? Just…yikes.

And Tony has a lot of fodder that could be used against him. 

He’s a powerhouse, a loose cannon, and is very visibly anti-establishment when it comes to some things, so when Steve’s trying to cling to a vestige of the past, it’s so, very easy for a HYDRA technician to pull some clips of Tony’s messing around and gloss over ‘yeah he’s also a genius and built a suit somewhere along the way’ while doing their level best to make sure that Steve does not like Tony, because if those two got along it would not end well for HYDRA so best nip that in the bud. [I’ve got a fic idea that plays with that premise, actually, but…rambling again, oops.]

Doesn’t help that people’s values have changed, either; nowadays, we’re a lot more cynical as to what’s going down in Congress, for instance, or the military-industrial complex, so just right there’s some culture clash. Iirc, pre-Nixon, people viewed what happened in DC differently than they do now, and I don’t think Clinton helped any, either. And that’s just one example.

tl;dr: I headcanon that HYDRA sabotaged Steve’s possible relationship with Tony, among other things. 

Now, when it comes to the world domination thing…

You can probably tell I’m having a lot of fun with it. It’s part of what helps keep the tone of TWiFFON fun for me to write, and I’m choosing to go the cracky route instead of the grimdark serious one because this fic’s self-indulgence at its finest, and my life is stressful enough as is. 

Because, I mean, for me it’s either laugh or cry, and I can’t afford to cry, when it comes to the tire fire that’s going on. I can laugh or cry, so I’d rather go for deadpan ‘so apparently this shit’s more plausible than some of what I’m seeing in the news’ rather than get even more gray hair stressing out over stuff I have no control over. [Playing with power dynamics in a fictional universe where there’s magic and aliens is very good stress relief, is what I’m saying.] Plus, y’know, it gives me an outlet for whenever I see yet another ‘Tony Stark was the villain!’ post. 

You probably know that originally, TWiFFON was supposed to be way darker [and shorter]. However, thanks to…life, I decided to go for broke and went ‘screw it, this is stress relief so might as well go for broke’, and since I love the Accidental World Domination trope…[getting rambly again, oops] 

Thus, why it’s going to take a literal Destroyer of Worlds to break it to Tony that yes, he took over the world. Oops. 

However, since apparently I can’t help but be pedantic about power dynamics and politics and whatnot: it’s probably more low-key than some of my readers are expecting. Here, it’s not going to really show until we reach the Final Battle arc, but I’m trying my best to avoid imperialistic tones where that part’s concerned. 

Like, yes, the fic’s going to devolve to crack by then, but the world domination part’s going to end up being due to basically [heads up for major fic spoilers]:

The world: so 

The world: you have Skynet in your pocket. A horde of them, even.

Tony: guys, you are so grounded why’d you pull that stunt I told you—

JARVIS: *is unrepentant*

FRIDAY: *is also unrepentant*

JOCASTA: *is shamelessly using her full capabilities to help clean up the battlefield*

Tony: JARVIS, you were supposed to the the role model, not the bad influenc—

Tony: wait what do you mean you want me to take them offline

Tony: okay you know what? Fight me

on top of everything else. But the above being the main motivation for Tony’s not stepping down after the Final Battle, and I intend to go into more detail when the matter comes up. [Hopefully I do it right.]

But for the most part?

It’s not like he can put it on his shelf to collect dust or anything, no way does he want to rule the world! Tony’s got more than enough power as is, and he’s happy enough being the Head of R&D. Hell, he’s got more than enough as his plate as is, why the fuck would he want to add to his workload?! Strange, stop laughin—Rhodey, why are you giving Hope money? Thor, you too—what do you mean ‘you lost a bet’? JARVIS, you are so grounded!

aka his life is s u f f e r i n g because he didn’t sign up for any of this, thank you very much, how is this his life, where did he go wrong in his life choices?

Strange, you can stop laughing any time now. Any time. 

…screw it, might as well roll with it. Anyone mind if they call themselves the Federation if any other aliens come around? Or would that violate some copyright law? 

meanwhile, elsewhere: 

everyone at Stark Industries is scratching their heads and wondering where the miscommunication happened before shrugging and carrying along because business as usual now includes world domination, oops

Pepper’s in Maui finally getting her vacation. 

JARVIS doesn’t really mind, as it simply means he has less variables to control for to help keep Tony safe and happy, so he’s completely and utterly shameless about it all. Even if he’s so, very grounded for pulling the stunts he did during the Final Battle arc. 

Fury is in an unspecified location, laughing at Tony while also feeling very proud of him because this is the opposite of a problem and free entertainment at its finest, yes, this was worth it. Not what he’d expected, but most definitely worth the headache.

[just putting it out there to hopefully give an idea of what I’m aiming for, at the end of the fic.] Hopefully it gets across right. Just…world domination, but with a kinda relaxed take on things.

Kinda sorry for the spoilers, but that moment’s one of the ones I’ve been really looking forward to and it’s been the better part of a year and this fic just keeps growing.