#especially as a huge public figure in the 80s

[nitronine]

weird al is so manly and so womanly and so neitherly all at the exact same time

REAL!!! The general disregard he has with conforming to traditional masculinity is really great. He’s so cool

[catmansquad]

Size-shifter! König

Headcanons both general and romantic.

General:

Hitting his head on low ceilings and having to duck through narrow doorways, and that was before anything weird started happening.

 No-one knows how or why it started. Just that one night the 6’10 Austrian man suddenly found himself 80’ tall with the rubble of his quarters all over him, and the eyes of the entire base upon him after being woken up. It did nothing to help his anxiety.

Even after figuring out how to return to a normal height, things were not smooth sailing for him. Half the base slept with one eye open in the event the Colonel would suffer another spontaneous growth spurt.

Only his tactical gear grows with him. He is very grateful that includes his comfort blanket of a hood.

Hates that he can only make himself bigger and cannot drop below his natural height. There are times he wishes he could just shrink down and hide from the world.

Learning to control his newfound power was another task altogether. Even the slightest sneeze would cause him to rocket up into the ceiling. He had taken to wearing a helmet to avoid any further concussions. Pitying smiles and “Gesundheit” from Horangi only went so far.

It wasn’t much better for the new recruits; being shouted at by a 6’10 Austrian man was scary enough. Being shouted at by the same man who was suddenly 9’ tall, in a deeper, louder voice was worse.

“Hey, if you ever become a Superhero, I get to write your origin story.” – Horangi.

Eventually had to resign from military service after he was considered too unstable with his new power.

As much as he hates being a civilian again, he enjoys the chance to get some proper sleep for once.

Once drove out into the middle of nowhere to figure out just how far his power stretched. He chickened out at five miles tall and decided he’d rather not know the answer after that.

Will make himself a little bit bigger if he needs to combat his anxiety. He feels better when all his problems look smaller.

Did eventually fall into the role of a rather clumsy Superhero. “Der König.” / “The King”.  Horangi held up his word about embellishing a heroic origin story. As attention grew, it became a bestseller. Horangi is already writing a sequel.

Romantic:

“Women love me. Men? Heh… They also love me. I am very fair that way, ja?”

You see him outside the window; towering over the streets, stepping carefully around traffic, silhouetted in the setting sun. You meet his huge, azure eyes just for a moment. He winks playfully and your heart skips because The King has seen you.

You get to see more than his public façade; you read the crinkling in his eyes, the smile hidden beneath his veil, where all his other fans make him retreat inside himself.

You get to see the goofball side of him, who tells silly jokes, and has the energy of an eager puppy.

Expect him to stammer and babble in German when he’s flustered. No amount of military training prepares for the turmoil of the heart.

Will steal your phone and put it somewhere too high for you to reach without a stool or ladder. He waits patiently for you to ask him for it back. He might just do it. Or just pick you up so you can grab it.

He will piggyback you around town, easily. It helps to calm his fanbase if they see he’s got a romantic interest. He’ll deal with the rabid, jealous ones personally, if they so much as touch a hair on your head.

You once started dozing off on his back one day, and he noticed. He smirked under his hood, and the next thing you knew, you were crashing up through tree branches and desperately scrambling to wrap your arms around his thickening neck as his huge hands reached back to steady you. "Enjoying the view, ja?! (Chuckle)"

He'll let you ride on his shoulder if he's feeling especially confident. Pick one.

“You will not like how I look under this hood, Schatz. I will spare you the pain of this ugly face.”

“Wha-? No… I am not some tentacled abomination. I.. I just… (sigh).”

He’ll kiss you back, but you have to shut your eyes first.

Big König gives bigger hugs. Having you in his lap, with your upper body swallowed in his big, strong arms. His heart melts for how lucky he feels.

You have a choice in the bedroom; he keeps the hood, or you wear the blindfold.

“Uh-uh! You know the rules, meine Liebe… Each time you beg, I get bigger. Aww… (Low chuckle).”

One day, he’ll tell you his real name. One day. But he still appreciates “My King”, in the meantime.

[wrongcaitlyn]

After Apollo’s book comes out (because this is the first thing I’d do lmao), do you think they’d create a biopic to go along with it? (And if it was well made) Would he and the group go and watch it?

ooh OMG this is such a good question. i had to consult @wronghuntress about this because part of me is like - as much as i portray apollo as a kindhearted and really loving father (which he is), he's still apollo. no matter how much pain and trauma the spotlight gives him, he can't stay away from it - he doesn't want to,

even when he runs away from hollywood and leaves all that behind, he still jumps at the first opportunity to make music again and encourages nico to release it. he eventually writes his memoir (that goes along with songs - i don't think that's really a spoiler seeing as the memoir files are accompanied by mp3 files and lyrics with two songs revealed already), which is just making his story even more known.

so he definitely doesn't stray away from the spotlight, but in the end, i don't think that he would support a biopic. technically, he is a public figure, and people could make a biopic even if he doesn't approve of it (i'm pretty sure, i just watched a yt video comparing the elvis and priscilla biopics despite watching neither for some reasonSDKF, but i dont actually have much knowledge on how these are made) - but i don't think he would ever support that for the sole reason of his kids.

the memoir centers largely around apollo's kids, even before they're born - on his relationship with naomi and latricia and darren as well - it's just as much of a focus of the memoir as his father's abuse and the corruption of the industry.

with that in mind, a biopic would include someone portraying naomi - which apollo, i don't think, would feel he has a right to just portray from his perspective, and which would also be very hard to get right for will, as well.

then there's obviously darren and latricia as well, and the fact that kids would have to play his own kids - which he'd probably feel a bit uncomfortable with, seeing as, especially just then, will kayla and austin would just be in their twenties

i think that the only option for a biopic would end up either being unapproved by apollo (which would likely end up with it being cancelled, seeing as apollo's father would hate that portrayal as well, so with their combined control over hollywood i do think they'd be able to prevent it from happening - i know, them working together on smth is a strange idea), or after apollo's death

and i do think that apollo lives a long, long, life. like, long enough for conspiracy theorists to question whether he may actually be a god in hiding. by that time, annabeth would be too old to play naomi - who would be about 21-28, and would probably have already retired anyway (assuming apollo dies at like 100 or smth so annabeth would be in her 80s)

if it was created without apollo's approval, annabeth would immediately turn down that role - out of respect for apollo, will, and naomi.

but i think it raises the interesting idea of what if apollo didn't have a biopic - what if naomi had a biopic made abt her?

now that'd be interesting and i like to imagine she had a huge impact on country music - plus, tragic ending, lots of drama, it's exactly what hollywood would want to make a biopic about. and honestly, i think it's a pretty plausible idea, so long as apollo and will both get to look over the script before hand! in that case, i think it would be very interesting for annabeth to play naomi, maybe even also co-produce the movie, and then work for hours on end with will trying to make sure that it'd be perfect. i absolutely love annabeth and will friendship, they're like siblings in my head honestly, and i think annabeth would do an incredible job at that <3

thank you for the ask!

[d-the-designer]

Forgotten Culture: to Greatest and Silent Generation, black was for funerals

...and that MATTERED. If you're Gen X then Silents are the evil generation, not Boomers. This is one of the things that Greatest through Silent Generation policed in public life and part of what my generation had to contend with. Older generations (Greatest and Silent) of some culture spaces of Americans had weird associations around black clothing that are foreign to children of Boomers. It's for femme fatales and women of questionable morals, and Beatniks, and Catholics, and old immigrants, and for Greatest Generation, their mom some time after their dad died. In the mind of these people - if you're a Normal Person, then it's for funerals and funerals only. Also it was for artistes but you have to understand that to these people, artiste was the same thing as Communist. And pretty much everything that was "Communist" to Greatest Gen became "Satanist" to Silents once Silents were in charge of public life. A young girl wearing all black in public - even and especially if it was fancy or businessy - would draw stares. You really don't know how much someone who looked like Wednesday Addams stood out even in *my* childhood let alone my mom's. Wearing all black was something I had to *not do* when I was around friends' parents, and it's something I didn't really have the freedom to do until I was out of high school. Even looking more punk or skater by that time was less edgy than all black. There were very very specific social rules about who was allowed to wear it and up to the 1990s, those people were still very much in control of public life, and we got to start gothing out 24/7 largely because we started having Boomer and Jones authority figures. There really is a degree to which goth culture is in a direct continuity of relaxation of subcultural clothing norms (which all eventually end up in the mall, or Target/Walmart, or popularized by TV) dating all the way back to the Midcentury. Now it's nothing to wear all black, and women's business clothing has become hugely uniform from the variety of colors it used to come in, and the standard suit seems to be all black. That wasn't true when I was younger, a black suit was actually a turnoff and deemed only appropriate to specific professions. Various shades of beige or brown, gray, and navy were more common in the 80s.

[amateurcritic]

I just had a weird dream about an OFF au invented by someone on this site. I know it’s not even close to canon, but you know what the ghost said: “everything is canon.” So I thought it would be worth sharing.

Before events of OFF: Once upon a time there was a huge pandemic. Although it wasn’t that fatal, the disease seriously messed up people’s heads, to the point of trying to murder anyone/thing in sight. Especially loved ones. They didn’t seem to age, sort of like a zombie virus without active decay. It was also incredibly contagious, but that’s important later. It was so bad that most healthy people forgot that the infected were still actual human beings, so “putting down” loved ones became a normal occurrence.

The Cure: Then, during some highly experimental 80s style research, a definitely not licensed doctor discovered that the disease could be cured by slowly replacing the patient’s blood with oil. Side effects included: severe memory loss, body disfigurement, emotional instability, and childlike learning/imprinting behaviors (among other things). As a result, a Cave Johnson-esque person(can’t remember if it was the person who discovered the cure or not) decided to use the cure as a sort of re-education tool. Discount Cave basically cured these people for free, brainwashed them, stuck them in uniforms and rented them out as a semi-competent labor force.

Government: Obviously, it didn’t take long for these cured people to be selectively brainwashed for specific tasks based on demand, like blue collar or white collar work. Or the military. That’s how Discount Cave got into the government. Since he provided the armies and several countries wanted his backing, governments gave him more and more power (and money) to use his resources. He eventually used this to take control of these customer governments and integrate them into a multinational corporation/governing entity.

Holocaust: From there, he could pretty much do whatever he wanted, so he started having his minions capture millions of sick people(who the public didn’t care about) and quite a few healthy people too. He claimed the disease had infected people without anyone noticing. He turned out to be right, because the cure worked the same for the not crazy violent people as it did everyone else. Since the disease was so contagious, most, if not everyone was already infected, just not everyone went crazy trying to kill people. Discount Cave used the resulting panic to justify putting all his dissenters in trains and brainwashing them too.

Relapses: Unfortunately the emotional instability of the “cured” individuals was not conducive to constant slave labor. Resulting in more than a few “relapses”. Relapses are basically the Elsens when they become burnt. Their oil-blood explodes out their heads and they go back to trying to kill everyone. Some people find a way to stop the relapses at home, but the majority of relapsed people just got killed.

Rebellion: Some people rebelled against Discount Cave and ended up either killed by relapsers or brainwashed. Eventually Discounted Cave is killed by a rebel mole who had been his protégé. This mole was Enoch. Now without a leader/father figure, the relapse rate grew out of control and the remaining “uncured” citizens were literally ripped apart. Followed by the “relapsed” ripping each other apart.

The Room: The events in Hugo’s picture took place, but instead of Japhet helping Enoch out of a literal hole, he helped Enoch out of the metaphorical hole caused by killing Discount Cave. He somehow either got rid of the “relapsed” population or he got them back to their brainwashed selves the same way some did during the relapse outbreak.

TL;DR:

The cure to the Zombie Pandemic is used to take over the world. Enoch kills big baddie and Japhet helps.

Edit: Animals were also infected, however their symptoms were somewhat different. Pablo and Valerie were pet cats that left their owner after the pandemic started. Japhet was a wild bird who gained sentience around the time relapses started happening.

[daquanshell]

An Interview with Myself

Lately, I've had the issue of "winging it," which is to say I've been freestyling my conversations. Ultimately, this is bad business, as good business would be to script and practice everything to the point the conversation feels natural, despite the conversation being structured to have a specific set of results. Imagining myself as both the reporter and the public figure, here are some questions I would ask myself.

Why are you / why do you dress so nice?

Dressing nice is a form of good manners and self-respect, as well as a fantastic way to advertise your business. My business is based upon relationships, and people are buying "me", just as much as they are buying the products and services I sell.

2. Where do you work / Do you still work at?

I work at PHP Agency as an Associate, I've been working there for about 3 months. If you want more information about the services we offer, we can schedule a private consultation.

3. Why PHP what happened to XYZ company?

The business opportunity just seemed to make sense: I have flexibility in when and where I work, I have complete control over marketing and advertising, and the work I do feels meaningful, not only do I feel like I am actually making a difference, but the work has both psychological and financial rewards.

On top of that, I'm a huge fan of both the leadership and the culture; the future is bright, and I'm excited to build my own office to better serve the communities of the Mid-Atlantic.

4. What do you like to do outside of work?

I like to train: a mix of shooting, swimming, running, lifting, and survival games. I like books (especially comics), I like movies, and I love counting money. I'm also a huge fan of fashion if you couldn't tell. Lately, I'm always shopping since I've been trying to source all my uniform items and supplies from local businesses or from business owners with whom I have a personal connection, especially if they will help me with interactive media production.

5. What are your future career or retirement plans?

Honestly, considering the white-collar nature of the work I do (it's literally just talking and paperwork), I don't really see any need to quit anytime soon, and I'd like to work until my 80s, assuming I live that long. I have an uncle who is in his 70s who still works, and the current president and even one of the larger presidential candidates are both closer to 80 than they are to 70, so it stands to reason that as long as I care to take of myself, I will still be able to enjoy a long and successful career. God willing, I'll spend the next 50 years as a businessman doing business.

Closing Statements

I'm gonna start listening to when people ask me questions and also recording the activities I do in the first place since I've been doing a poor job of that. The funny part about that is that I've always had that issue, and I remember the early part of my career being a struggle since I was always really good at the "talking" part of business but really bad at the "paperwork" aspect. So, with that being said, I know what my next blog post is going to be about, even if the that doesn't exactly sound interesting to the person who is currently reading this.

[tallmantall]

#JamesDonaldson On #MentalHealth – New App For #Men Helps Remove #Stigma Around #MentalHealth Conversations

#Men commit more than 80% of #suicides Statistics from #MentalHealth America show #men commit more than 80% of #suicides. By Ta'Niyah Jordan LANSING, Mich. (WILX) - According to the experts, #mentalillness is a public health crisis here in the United States. However, #men don’t usually talk about their #mentalhealthstruggles, leading to an increased rate of #malesuicides. Here in Michigan, #suiciderates are much higher for #men than for #women. In 2020, 1,389 people died by #suicide -- #men accounted for 1,099 of #suicide deaths in the same year. Statistics from #MentalHealth America show #men commit more than 80% of #suicides. #James Donaldson notes:Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticleFind out more about the work I do on my 501c3 non-profit foundationwebsite www.yourgiftoflife.org Order your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,#CelebratingYourGiftofLife: From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy www.celebratingyourgiftoflife.com Experts agree that conversations about men’s #mentalhealth help remove the #stigma and save lives. “I realized that I was so alone – or I felt so alone...” #Mentalhealth author and speaker, Jason Wood, uses his own experience with #mentalillness to help other #men feel comfortable talking about their struggles. “I was going through my battle because there weren’t a lot of other #men out there talking about their experience with an #eatingdisorder in particular.” Wood said #eatingdisorders are the second deadliest #mentalillness. His #eatingdisorder, unfortunately, led to other issues. “I began to withdraw from social situations.” Something Wood said he wasn’t talking about. “There was also my #anxiety that was keeping me from social situations as well. So, that was a very isolating factor. Mentally, I was just really, really low on myself. I had a low #self-worth.” Like Wood, men’s #mentalhealthadvocate Anson Whitmer said #mentalhealthstruggles haunted two of his family members. That experience led Whitmer to create an app for #men. It’s called Mental. “I lost both my uncle and my cousin on different sides of the family to #suicide. And I knew that at least one of them tried to reach out for help and didn’t resonate with any of the solutions out there,” said Whitmer. He said the app helps #men beat #stress, build discipline, and find purpose. Whitmer said most #mentalhealthsupport focuses on #women and #children. “No one really is connecting with #men.” Whitmer said “one report says there’s 10 to 20,000 #mentalhealth apps out there and not a single one is built for #men.” He said while #men make up 80% of #suicides, “if we don’t figure out a way to get through to #men we will never bring down the #suicidecrisis.” According to #MentalHealth America, more people are reporting #mentalhealthconcerns but only 28% were able to find care. Read the full article

[historicity-was-already-taken]

ETA (abt an hour later): Posting this functioned as a bit of a release, and now I’m doing some more work on the book until I can fall asleep again. Allowing myself to have this release was kind of freeing, and put me back in a place where I feel like I have some agency in my own life. I’m keeping this up for now because I don’t want to just throw trauma feels at you, make you deal, and then delete. I most likely will take it down later because, big “she was born in the 80s she uses tumblr like lj” vibes, but it’s fine for now. 

I dunno y’all. There was another mass shooting in the US today, and news that fascists in Missouri are making lists of “woke” figures and institutions.

I’m scared af, and if I take down huge chunks of this blog, it’s because I’m scared, and because I refuse to be on the list of intellectuals and leftists to murder come the Revolution. Then again, I’m a Known Jew so come the Revolution I’m still fucked.

Before you ask: no, I’m not okay. I don’t know any historians who are ok right now. Most of us are deeply depressed and generally feeling hopeless. 

After six years of trying to compartmentalize the state of the USA and the world in a manner which would still allow me to like...function, I am struggling to continue to do so. I doubt that any of my publication hopes/dreams will come to fruition with the path the US is on, and I’m terrified that we’re on the precipice of World War 3. I’m severely anxious right now, and I’m partially afraid to even leave the house lest I get shot on the subway or at work. And inflation and COL have spiked so intensely that I can barely make rent without overdrawing my bank account. 

Lately I think the cracks have been showing, especially with my nihilistic humans are monsters Chidi marshmallow chili freakouts. (Some bitch called me an eco-fascist edgelord the other day and I’m still mad, even though I can see where maybe the vibes came through). 

I don’t want or need sympathy, because I think a lot of us are in this boat. I never thought I’d be 33, watching the rise of fascism, living in a studio apartment, and struggling financially with a full time culturally prestigious job and two Masters degrees. And that’s just standard UMC millennial rage/betrayal shit.

But YEAH here we are. I’m not ok, and you’re probably not either. I don’t know what the solution is. But I DO know, that I will not be fucking executed when it comes time to round up the intelligentsia. 

[mnikhowozu]

writing down my revised dethklok sexuality/gender etc headcanons let’s gooo (* indicates AU dependent)

nathan: he/him | cis | queer | notes: not great at choosing a label, probably just prefers queer. pretty quiet about it because he doesn’t really seem to feel the need to bring up personal stuff like that very often, honestly.

pickles: he/him | trans man | bisexual | notes: used to ID as a lesbian before he figured some stuff out, and still feels a lot of kinship towards them, especially butches. stealth and closeted to the public, as he was famous in the 80s and was generally aware of the world.

murderface: he/him | cis | gay | notes: obviously this is in the subtext of the show. i think he experiences a lot of comp het and clearly has a lot of complicated feelings around it. super in the closet, poor guy. also definitely potentially a bear i mean come on

toki: he/they | demiguy (?) | pan & ace-spec | notes: in the context of the show he doesn’t seem to often seem deeply interested in sex? but definitely in romance! i’m guessing he might be grey-ace or demisexual. as for gender, he strikes me as someone who doesn’t have a hugely strong connection to being a man. big NB energies. could be AFAB or AMAB, i personally really like the headcanon that he’s intersex! i think out of anyone he’d be more into actually looking into this and figuring out what words he’d like to use.

skwisgaar: he/she/they | genderfluid, transfemme | pansexual & aro-spec | notes: obviously falls into the trap that most of his band mates do about realizing their own sexuality, but i think she’d eventually come around. definitely transfemme, i think, but tends to use he/him most, as his grip on the english language is tenuous as is and it’s just a bit easier—but definitely appreciates being called she & they as well. obviously very fluid around their gender/sexuality and very chill & comfortable with himself once they figure it out. also obviously not really an overly romantic person, their disposition and enjoyment of dates/wooing people doesn’t necessarily mean he’s romantically in love. also probably really into open relationships.

BONUS:

charles: he/him | trans man | bi & ace-spec | notes: just like it says on the label. he’s very private about this. also probably kinky honestly but that’s none of dethklok’s business

magnus: he/him | binary man* | bisexual/queer | notes: i could see him going either way as a cis or trans man, but a man either way. a little more out about his queerness than, say, pickles, but it also helps that he’s not really in the public eye as heavily. has had relationships with all sorts of people in his life, and tends to be pretty open and understanding about queer stuff. some of his thoughts and perspectives on things, much like pickles, would probably be seen as “dated”, but that’s fine and he doesn’t particularly care.

[spooderboyandtincan]

You’re Gonna Miss Me

(When I’m Gone)

Read on Ao3

/ST*RKERS DNI/

~~~~~

Tony doesn’t know why he’s so nervous.

That’s a lie. Utter bullshit. He’s lying to himself. Tony knows exactly why his heart is fluttering in his chest like he’d run a marathon, why his chest struggled to rise like there was twenty pound weight rested on it. 

Though to be fair, when he made an anonymous donation of a meager 50,000 dollars to Midtown Science and Technology, he hadn’t expected Peter’s decathlon team to put in a request to the school board to travel abroad, and he definitely hadn’t expected the school to immediately approve it. He thought they’d use it to replace the sudsy water in the bathrooms they called soap with the real stuff or some shit, not whisk his kid away to Vienna for a whole week where Tony couldn’t even hug him, couldn’t protect him. 

Peter is thrilled, though. Ecstatic. When he’d broken the news to Tony and May, he’d been over the moon with excitement, his round cheeks flushed pink and his eyes gleaming. Even two weeks ago, Tony had felt a deep sense of apprehension kindling in his chest, but with the date seemingly so far away, he’d pushed it to the back of his mind. 

He wishes now that he’d done something. He should have told Peter he couldn’t bear to be without him like he was an actor in a cheesy soap opera (it was true, he couldn’t); tell Peter he needed him on a “mission” that would mysteriously be canceled. Though they’d probably end up taking a plane or a suit to Vienna anyways (despite what he liked to say to Rhodey, he was not at all immune to Peter’s puppy eyes); hell, he should have purposely tripped on the stairs and broken his leg so Peter, sweet, kind, empathetic Peter, would immediately decide to stay by his side where Tony could keep him safe.

He missed Peter when he was at his apartment in fucking Queens, thirty minutes from Stark Tower. He didn’t know how he’d handle having him 4,222 miles away. He didn’t know if he could.

“Damn,” he hisses, pushing himself from his bed with a grunt and making a beeline towards Peter’s room. He dashes in. The sight of his sleeping son (read: lump of blankets) is enough to take his breath away.

Tony had missed him. It had been four hours since he’d tucked him in and kissed him goodnight, and Tony had missed him. Peter was fifteen feet away. 

This trip is going to be the death of him. He’s going to drop dead of a goddamn heart attack before Peter even gets on the plane. 

Tony sinks carefully onto the mattress and rests his hand on the boy’s neck, some deep, parental instinct in him immediately soothed by the slow, steady beat of his pulse. Peter is curled under the thick blue blanket, only his chestnut curls visible which are tinged blue from the Iron Man nightlight on the wall, his breath puffing out in those little snuffling snores that Tony absolutely adores. 

He leans down to kiss his temple, inhales the familiar scent of his favorite strawberry shampoo and is overwhelmed by the wave of infinite love that washes over him. He loves this kid so much it sometimes hurts. 

Leaning back, he smooths his thumb over Peter’s cheekbone. He doesn’t want to leave the boy’s side. He doesn’t know if he physically can. Maybe asleep Peter has somehow sensed this, because there’s a small mewl from the bundle of blankets, and two bleary doe eyes flutter open. 

“T’ny?”

“Hey,” Tony whispers, running a hand through his curls. “Hey, jellybean. Sorry I woke you up.” Peter rolls over with heavy limbs and rubs his eyes with a fist in a childlike motion, yawning in a way that resembles all those yawning kitten videos he’s made Tony watch. 

God, he’s adorable, Tony thinks. His heart is melting. He’s so small, so young. Tony feels an instinctual, almost uncontrollable urge to protect this kid, to wrap him in his arms and keep him from harm for the rest of time. 

Peter is oblivious. “‘S… s’okay,” he mumbles. His hand sneaks out of the blankets and tugs on his arm lethargically, which the genius knows is sleepy Peter language for “cuddle with me.” Tony chuckles fondly and slides under the covers.

He props himself up on an elbow and gazes down at his beloved boy, stroking a finger down his cheek. Peter smiles sleepily up at him from his assortment of pillows. “Hi.”

His face splits into a wide grin. “Hi, Pete.” 

Peter frowns at him then, a sudden change from his drowsy, half-asleep state. “You… you ‘kay? Wha’ time’s it?” He tries to sit up, but Tony hushes him gently with a “Everything’s okay, bud, just a typical 2am visit from your friendly neighborhood Iron Man.”

He smiles, so Tony counts the joke as a win. It’s not one of his best, but hey, forgive him if he’s a little anxious about his kid going to another fucking continent. 

(He refuses to acknowledge that it’s not just being away from Peter that’s stressing him out, it’s the fact that anything could happen to him while they’re apart.)

Tony looks back to Peter, opening his mouth to talk, only to find that he’s completely conked out. He balls up the sleeve of his sweatshirt and wipes the line of drool tracing down the boy’s chin away, finding that a soft smile has formed on his face, the one that only makes its appearance around Peter.

Peter snuggles into him the second he lies down, resting his curly head just over his heart. Tony wraps a protective arm around his back and rubs small circles on his soft blanket hoodie. “G’night,” he whispers, bending to kiss the top of his head. “Sweet dreams, baby. I love you.”

He can feel Peter’s heartbeat thumping steadily against his chest- can hear his soft kitten snores. The warm weight of his body is so comforting that for a moment he thinks that maybe, just maybe, this trip isn’t going to be the end of him. That everything’s going to be okay.

~~~~~

Peter’s starting to regret eating all those waffles for breakfast. He feels shaky all over, like he could collapse or throw up any second. He’d told Tony he was going to pop in the bathroom, but he’s been in there for at least ten minutes, settled back on his heels on the cold, grimy floor of an airport bathroom, trying to breathe properly.

Speaking of Tony, he can hear the man just outside the door, typing on his phone and sipping from a cheap cup of coffee. Peter immediately experiences a hot flash of guilt, realizing that he must have grown worried while he was gone. 

Sure enough, the door swings open and there’s a soft knock. “Pete? Everything okay, bud?”

Peter stands up and unlocks the stall. “Tony,” he sniffles, taking an unsteady step forward. Tony rushes forward and gathers him in his arms

“Whoa, hey, hey, you’re okay,” he says gently, rubbing a hand up and down his back. “You’re okay, Pete. Breathe, just breathe, bud. It’s okay.”

“I don’t-” Peter whispers. “I don’t know, Tony, I-I wanna go, but I can’t, I don’t know w-what to do.” 

“Breathe, honey. It’s okay, I’m here, we’ll figure this out, okay? You just gotta take a breath, alright?” 

Peter tries- fails. Tries again, and manages to gasp a breath in. “Sorry,” he croaks, when he can properly breathe again. “Tony, I-I don’t-”

“It’s okay,” Tony murmurs, squeezing him tight. “Nothing to be sorry for, Pete.” After snatching a paper towel and soaking it in the sink, he runs the scratchy cloth over Peter’s face and kisses his forehead when he’s done. “Okay, bubba. You wanna go back out or stay in here?”

“Out,” he replies without hesitation. The flickering white lights above are starting to give him a headache, not to mention the leaky faucet and the freezing tile floors and the faulty air conditioning. Tony leads him out with an arm around his shoulder and guides him to a little nook, where they both plop down on a neon green beanbag. 

“My parents died in a plane crash,” Peter whispers. 

Tony squeezes his shoulder. “I know buddy. I’m sorry.” Unlike a lot of the “sorries” Peter has heard, this one is sincere. Sometimes he forgets that Tony is an orphan too. 

“I- I mean, logically, I know the plane won’t crash,” he continues, “But I guess it’s still hard for me to believe that. Like a- a gut feeling?”

The man nods in understanding. “I know how you feel, kiddo. I was terrified of cars after my parents died- I took the subway everywhere despite the paparazzi bloodhounds.” Tony doesn’t broach the subject of his parent’s deaths often, especially not in a crowded public airport, so Peter makes sure to pay attention. 

“Then, the fear just kinda… vanished.” He wiggles his fingers dramatically. “I started driving without even thinking, didn’t realize I was in a car ‘til I got on the highway. I had to pull over when I did, but since then, I’m perfectly fine with cruisin’ at 80 mph. But,” he says seriously, meeting Peter’s eyes. “I think you should listen to what your gut’s tellin’ you, buddy. It’s important to listen to yourself- what inner you is saying.” He pokes Peter’s belly a couple times for good measure, which makes his face scrunch up adorably. 

Peter nods, and really tries to listen to his gut. The pair both go silent in concentration, and then- his stomach grumbles. They both burst into laughter, born more from nerves than hilarity.

“Inner you wants to eat,” Tony snorts. “I think I saw a place with the biggest blueberry muffins of my life by the escalators, wanna stop there?”

Despite eating a huge stack of waffles just hours earlier, Peter wolfs down two of the gigantic blueberry poppyseed muffins, much to the amusement of Tony.

They made their way to the gate, where Peter’s teacher, Mr. Harrington was lounging, dressed in an ugly red sweater, his long legs stretched in front of him. 

“Peter!” he cried as he spotted them, scrambling to his feet. “Thank god, I was beginning to think I had the wrong date! We’re leaving today, right?”

“Oh, yeah Mr. Harrington, we’re going today!” Peter laughs. He’s used to dealing with his scatter-brained teacher. “I’m actually here early, the plane’s supposed to leave at 1:00.” He gestures vaguely to the big digital clock over his head reading 11:54 AM, EDT. 

Mr. Harrington frowns. “I thought it left at 8 am! You mean I’ve been here for hours in this awful chair when I could have been sipping a piña colada in my jacuzzi?!” He collapses back in his chair and pulls a sleeping mask over his eyes with a sigh.

“Sorry, Mr. Harrington,” Peter chuckles, then pulls Tony to a row of uncomfortable seats in the corner of the waiting area. 

They sit in comfortable silence for a bit, just watching the various travellers rush past. A little girl, around two or three, comes up and shyly asks for Tony’s autograph, but no one else recognizes the genius. (Thanks to his foolproof disguise of a baseball cap and scarf covering up his iconic beard, the genius claims.)

“So, what are we thinking?” Tony asks after about half an hour. “Do you wanna go?” He secretly hopes Peter will say no, hopes that they can go home and binge watch all of the Star Trek episodes and fill their bodies with junk. 

Peter nods hesitantly. “I think so. I-is that okay? I might change my mind, but- yes. Yeah, I think I want to go.”

 Tony squeezes his hand. “Of course it’s okay baby, that’s perfectly fine. If you change your mind, you know what? That’s great too. Whatever you want, that’s what’s important.” He kisses Peter’s forehead and lets his hand linger for a moment where it rests on the boy’s cheek. “If you change your mind at any point, I’ll come pick you up, okay?”

“Thanks, Tony,” Peter breathes, slumping heavily against his side.

“Of course, bud. Anything for my Peter.” 

They stop for lunch at a cozy little coffee shop, which is thankfully devoid of fans and paparazzi. Peter orders (or rather, makes Tony order) a small hot chocolate (with extra marshmallows and whipped cream) even though drinking a lot before a non-stop ten hour flight is probably not the best idea. (He can’t help it. He’s nervous.)

When the pair gets back to their gate, they find Ned and his family. The boy’s greet each other enthusiastically, performing their signature handshake, while Tony simply throws up a peace sign to Ned’s rather stunned parents. 

The friends pull out their phones -probably playing one of those ghastly animated games that Peter is always quoting. Tony pretends to look busy on his phone, but really, he’s just trying to distract himself from the terrifying fact that he’s not going to see Peter for a week.

Too soon, the speaker crackles, a crisp voice announcing, “Attention. We are now boarding flight 367 nonstop to Vienna, Austria. Now boarding flight 367 nonstop to Vienna, Austria.”

Tony’s heart stops. Peter freezes. 

No, they think at the same time. Not yet. 

Peter turns to Tony, panicked. “Hey,” the man says, pushing away every anxiety, every worry away so he can focus on his kid. He sees Ned approach them, but stop when his father places a hand on his shoulder. “Hey, it’s okay. Breathe, baby, it’s okay.” 

“Tony.” Peter wraps his skinny arms around his waist. 

“I know, baby, I know.” Tony kisses the top of his head and hugs him close. “Follow my breathing. You’re okay. We’re good.”

Around them, the members of the decathlon team are rising, but Tony and Peter sit in those unforgettable chairs, clutching each other tightly, not yet ready to let go. 

“I’m gonna miss you,” Peter whimpers. 

“I know kiddo, me too. I’m gonna miss you so much, but I’m always gonna be here, okay? If you need me, just call, or text, use morse code, doesn’t matter. I’m always here for you.”

“I’m here for you too,” Peter says. “I- I’ll call you every day.” Peter’s bottom lip is trembling, just barely, but enough for Tony to hug him a little tighter and kiss his forehead. “I love you, Tony,” he sniffs.

“I love you too, Pete. I love you so much.” Tony’s not crying. He’s not. The restaurant a few stores down is just cooking onions, that’s why his eyes are watering. 

Peter pulls away and grabs his duffel bag, taking a step toward the loading dock. Tony tries not to burst into sobs. Stay, his mind whispers. Please stay. 

Then Peter turns around, eyes full of tears, and slams straight into Tony’s chest, hugging him so tight he can barely breathe. Tony rocks them back and forth, cherishing everything about his sweet boy. When they finally break apart, Peter says, “I’ll be back before you know it,” echoing what Tony has said to him so many times before he leaves for a business trip. 

Then he smiles a watery smile and runs to catch up with his best friend. Just before he disappears into the loading dock, he turns around and waves wildly at Tony.

Tony waves back, grinning. “I love you,” he mouths.

“I love you too!” Peter mouths back, and steps into the dock.

“I love you,” Tony whispers, hastily wiping the dampness from his eyes. “I love you, Peter.”

~~~~~

/ST*RKERS DNI/

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If anyone wants to be added/ removed please let me know! (also, i think i missed a few people, and a few usernames have been changed, pop me a quick message so i can add you again!) 

[onlydylanobrien]

Dylan O'Brien - NME Magazine Interview

Dylan O’Brien: “I was in this transitional phase – close to a quarter-life crisis”

From YA heartthrob to legitimate leading man – how the 'Maze Runner' star hit his stride after a whirlwind decade

Definitely!” hoots Dylan O’Brien when NME asks if he still has to audition. “I’m not Tom fucking Hanks, bro.” He’s clearly amused by our question, but forgive us for thinking the 29-year-old actor gets cast on reputation alone. A decade into his career, and he’s making an impressive transition from teen TV star and YA franchise hero to charismatic leading man.

New York-born O’Brien cut his teeth on MTV’s hit Teen Wolf series, before landing the lead in the Maze Runner film trilogy based on James Dashner’s hugely popular novels. Leading a band of bright young things that included ex-Skins tearaway Kaya Scodelario, Game Of Thrones’ Thomas Brodie-Sangster and Will Poulter, he honed his craft while racking up nearly a billion dollars at the box office. “My career is a constant acting class,” says O’Brien. “To be able to do the Maze Runner movies simultaneously with Teen Wolf was amazing in terms of getting in reps and working my [acting] muscle.”

Now for the sometimes tricky bit. Many actors struggle with the post-breakout period, but O’Brien is making it look easy so far. This year’s Netflix hit Love and Monsters proved he can carry an old-school family adventure, and new film Flashback (out next week) reveals an appetite for weirder, more cerebral work. He stars as Fred Fitzell, a young man reluctant to buckle down to life as a nine-to-fiver with a boring corporate job and a long-term girlfriend (Mindhunter‘s Hannah Gross). When he runs into a freaky-looking acquaintance from his teenage years, Fred becomes obsessed with finding an old high-school friend he used to drop a mind-bending experimental drug called Mercury with. It’s difficult to say any more without entering spoiler territory, but Flashback is a wild ride underpinned by the idea that we can exist in several realities at once. Even if you follow every plot twist, you might not fully understand the end. “Oh, it’s definitely a headfuck,” O’Brien agrees. “There’s not totally an answer to figure out. There’s a lot of different things that people can take from it.”

Speaking over Zoom from his LA home, O’Brien is bright, thoughtful and really good fun to talk to, especially when he relaxes into the interview, but he clearly knows where his line between public and private lies. When he first read the Flashback script, written by the film’s director Christopher MacBride, his “mind was blown” by just how much he related to Fred. “I felt like I was in this transitional phase of my life that was, you know, sort of close to a quarter-life crisis type thing,” he says. “For whatever reason, it was like me and this script were meant to be. I remember reading it and thinking: ‘I am this guy right now.'”

“There were a lot of things in my personal life that were neglected for a while”

When we ask why O’Brien felt as though he had reached a “transitional phase”, he gives an answer that’s vague but not exactly evasive. For understandable reasons, he doesn’t mention the incredibly traumatic motorcycle accident he sustained while shooting the final Maze Runner film in March 2016. O’Brien suffered severe trauma to the brain and said in 2017 that he underwent extensive facial reconstructive surgery after the accident “broke most of the right side of my face”. Tellingly, he’s never really revealed what happened on set or how it affected him.

Today, O’Brien dances around the details of the accident and other issues he was dealing with at the time, but doesn’t shy away from discussing his inner conflict. “You know, it was a lot of personal things combined with at-a-point-in-my-career things,” he says after a brief pause. He says he’d have been going through some of this stuff anyway, simply because of his age, but it sounds as though success intensified it all. “It was like this whole fucking storm of shit,” he continues. “I was simultaneously so fulfilled and happy about these, like, otherworldly and surreal things that I had experienced in terms of where my career had brought me. I had all this confidence and fulfilment and beautiful people [in my life] – such amazing things to experience at a young age. But at the same time, there were a lot of things in my personal life that were unchecked and sort of neglected for a while.”

O’Brien says that in time, he realised he had to “stop for a second” and “re-explore how I wanted my life to look going forward”. In fairness, you can see why he needed a breather: his career took off while he was still a teenager. After his family moved from New Jersey to Los Angeles County when he was 12, O’Brien contemplated a career as a sports broadcaster – his Twitter bio still bills him as a “no longer suffering Mets fan” – then began posting YouTube videos as moviekidd826. A funny, slickly edited skit titled ‘How to Prepare for the SAT in 45 seconds’, shared when he was just 17, shows he was a born performer and storyteller. YouTube success led to him getting a manager, but his breakthrough role in Teen Wolf still came out of the blue. At the time, he was treading water at a local community college and taking auditions on the side.

Still, he has since taken a rather fatalistic view of this career-making moment. “It’s totally weird because, when I think about it now, I don’t see how it could have happened any other way. I can’t picture myself doing anything else now,” he told Collider in 2011. “It was really sudden and a little random, and not provoked by anything. It was just out of nowhere. It wasn’t my intentional doing.” Today, O’Brien summarises his skyscraper career trajectory succinctly. “I guess I just graduated high school and started acting,” he says. “And then I felt like I was just flying by the seat of my pants and never got a chance to stop.” Thankfully, straight-out-the-blocks Hollywood success hasn’t taken away his sense of perspective. When I say how easy social media makes it to compare yourself unfavourably to others, O’Brien jumps in: “Yeah, that’s very true. I was watching the Billie Eilish doc the other day, and I was like, I’ve done nothing. I’m not an artist at all!”

“No one thought ‘Love and Monsters’ was going to be good!”

O’Brien is also self-deprecating when he talks about being cast in Flashback, suggesting it happened because he had such an intense connection with Fred. “I was honestly like, ‘Who is watching me right now?’ That is the best way I can describe how I was feeling when I came across this script,” he says. “Chris [MacBride, director] and I had this conversation that went so well in terms of [my] understanding this script that I think he’d sent around a lot and [that] very commonly wasn’t understood. I think Chris has even said that the night before shooting, he suddenly had this thought, like, ‘Wait, do I even think he’s a good actor?'”

Though O’Brien has firmly ring-fenced elements of his private life, he’s actually pretty frank about his acting vehicles. He readily admits he was expecting a snobbish response to Love and Monsters, a CGI-heavy hybrid of post-apocalyptic action and romcom that dropped on Netflix in April and topped the streamer’s daily most-watched list. “It means so much that Love and Monsters has gotten the response that it’s gotten,” O’Brien says. “No one thought this movie was going to be good.” His blunt honesty makes me laugh out loud. “No one did though!” he says in response. “And so, fuck that. You know, most of the people who say something to me about the movie, they’re like: ‘I watched Love and Monsters, and it was… good?’ And honestly, that just cracks me up.” For obvious reasons, we hastily decide not to share our response to the film – namely, that it was a whole lot better than expected.

In Love and Monsters, O’Brien plays Joel, a survivor of a so-called “monsterpocalypse” that has bumped humans to the bottom of the food chain. Though he’s known in his colony as a bit of a coward, Joel sets off on a treacherous 80-mile journey to find his high school sweetheart Aimee (Iron Fist‘s Jessica Henwick), which means evading the hungry clutches of various supersize grizzlies including a giant monster-frog hiding in a suburban pond. It’s a simple but pretty out-there premise that wouldn’t work if O’Brien’s performance was even slightly condescending. Instead, his unselfconscious sincerity really sells a film that has as much in common with the family-oriented Robin Williams movie Night at the Museum as darker fare like The Walking Dead.

His obvious affection for the project really comes across during our interview today. “When I read the script, I just thought it was so sweet and funny and smart and unique, but at the same time reminiscent of all these movies that don’t really get made any more,” he says. That’s a fair point: Love and Monsters is neither a fail-safe superhero movie nor a slice of classy Oscar bait. “And when they were talking about how to market this movie, it was so funny hearing all these conversations like, ‘How do we actually get people to watch it?'” he adds. “But that’s a big part of the reason I wanted to do this movie: because it felt like something I missed seeing.”

“I’m lucky to be surrounded by people who want to make something out of love”

So in a way, Love and Monsters was a risk for an actor seeking to establish himself outside of a bankable movie franchise and a hit TV show. O’Brien has only made four films since his final Maze Runner outing in 2018, and insists he hasn’t been tactical with his choices. “I don’t have anyone saying, ‘We need to get you in an Oscar vehicle’, or any of that kind of shit,” he says. “I’m really lucky to be surrounded by people who think like me: that you should do what you’re drawn to, and make something out of love.”

He’s recently finished shooting a mysterious crime thriller called The Outfit in London with Mark Rylance. Directed and co-written by Graham Moore, who won an Oscar for his screenplay to Alan Turing biopic The Imitation Game, O’Brien calls it “quite possibly one of the most special pieces of writing I’ve ever experienced”. He first read the script on a plane and says he “actually stood up and clapped” when he got to the end. Considering O’Brien probably wasn’t flying Ryanair, this reaction presumably attracted a few baffled glances.

Anyway, it must be pretty intimidating walking onto set with Rylance, a multi-award-winning actor revered by his peers – Al Pacino once said he “speaks Shakespeare as if it was written for him the night before” – but it sounds as though O’Brien took it all in stride. He says he’s confident in his abilities, but admits to having a slight wobble whenever he begins a new project. “I’m always sort of re-questioning everything – like, ‘Can I even act?'” he says. “But I think there’s something very natural about that. I think even Rylance could relate to that feeling. Acting is like starting a new year at school every single time.”

At this point in his career, O’Brien has made peace with the fact that some people will have preconceptions about him based on what he’s known for: Maze Runner and Teen Wolf. “People will put you in a box no matter what,” he says. “There was definitely a time when that would get to me, especially when it felt like somebody had a perspective on me that in my soul, I just felt wasn’t accurate.” Still, there’s no doubt he wants to show us what’s really in his soul with more films like Flashback. “If anything,” he adds bullishly, “it just makes me think: ‘Right, I’m really gonna show them now’.”

‘Flashback’ is out on digital platforms from June 4

[terrence-silver]

Hello lovely! Can you give us your thoughts on what would have actually happened after KK3 with Terry? [Not the terrible Cobra Kai charactersation] What would his life look like? What's his relationship with John? Thankya x 💜💙💚

I mean, I could write a whole novella about what I think OG KK3 Terry wouldn't do.

And what his life between KK3 and Cobra Kai season 4 would’ve been like ---

But here's some, in (angry) snippets;

- Dynatox? He would’ve been running Dynatox in full swing --- which has probably gone conveniently green somewhere between the 80′s and present day to strategically fit the shifting politics, narratives and world views aimed at a new age as he re-brands himself as eco-friendly, with his face on billboards all over LA, on various products, in news papers, on TV commercials. He’s like an inescapable, looming phantom hovering over the city. The grandeur of Terry’s power is never showcased like that which is a shame. Of course, this isn’t an agenda Terry believes in or cares for, it is simply a way to blend in like a chameleon and make even more of a profit by shapeshifting his firm in the public perception and turn himself marketable. He couldn’t care less about the oceanic flora and fauna, the Amazonian rainforest or saving the whales. He’s still very much running a toxic company fronting itself as green. Yet, Dynatox in the show is literally never explored. Why?

- Terry would never allow someone to call his friend essentially inbred, especially considering we discovered John has a history of mental health in his family and that his mother committed suicide back in the days, something that was met with great stigmatization --- a fact Terry no doubt knew about, so to just sit there grinning like a self-content idiot while Emile or whatever rando backhandedly remarks that the best friend he ever had, his comrade, his Captain, the man who saved his life at least a couple of times has a Hapsburg Jaw would’ve had KK3 Terry escorting at least half of the posse at that garden party off of the estate post-haste and suing at least several of them for defamation and slander purely based on that fact Terry would’ve been more offended than John --- as is usually the case with these two. With good reason too. I don’t know why, but this one never sat well with me.

- I just refuse to believe Terry Silver, the Terry Silver, wouldn’t know of John’s whereabouts during those thirty years of absence or rather, that he wouldn’t care. Or Daniel Larusso’s whereabouts. Or the whereabouts of Daniel’s family. Or that Johnny Lawrence had a fully-fledged son. Stalking man Terry? Spying Terry? Obsessive Terry? Snooping, nosy, voyeuristic Terry? Terry who hid in a chimney once? Not knowing? How? Daniel became the owner of this huge car dealership in The Valley and yet when John brings Daniel up to Terry for the first time in decades, Terry is so surprised like he had no prior information about Larusso Auto whatsoever. I somehow literally refuse to believe Terry wouldn’t keep at least partial track of all of these people purely to get a (partially sick) kick out of their lives unfolding. That doesn’t seem like him.

- Also, to expand on Terry keeping track of everyone in secrecy --- he would’ve found a way to help John even if John kept rejecting his aid. If the devil works hard, Terry works harder. I cannot imagine KK3 Terry ever abandoning John to homelessness, living in shelters and general destitution, even if they had a grudge and even if John made it difficult to be aided. I envision Terry slipping John the occasional help, whether monetary or otherwise and utilizing his channels to covertly cover up the fact it is from him, making the support virtually untraceable. John might figure it out eventually, but the help always keeps coming and Terry pretty much forces it upon him from a distance. This is pretty much the guy who forced him to go on an impromptu vacay to Tahiti, sexy masseuse girls involved after personally driving him to the airport. Terry isn’t someone who would just give up helping him.

- I somehow doubt he would neglect Karate and Cobra Kai, but that’s just my personal opinion. Cobra Kai might’ve gone underground after the ‘85 tournament loss, but Terry in KK3 seemed somewhat unfettered by everything ranging from being sued, indicated and sent to court (which he bribed) and so to simply entirely neglect martial arts after a one loss is...strange? Sure, one might argue it deeply affected him because this was to be a victory he wanted to procure in John’s name, but to simply abandon Karate entirely?

- In KK3 we see Terry having an apparent liking towards his staff. He’s chattering and being cheeky with Margaret. He’s amused by Snake and Dennis. By Mike Barnes too. In present day, in CK, there’s this weird disconnect in the company and social circle Terry keeps. He seems weirdly annoyed (with a chagrin) and detached from everyone and I just personally don’t like it. It makes me uneasy and sad.

- Terry would never write off his own behaviour in KK3 as merely ‘being on Coke in the 80′s’ regardless if he was actually on Coke or not. One gets the impression he’s shrugging off his entire personality, knack for devotion, fierceness, intensity, taking things too far, impulsivity, loyalty, undying friendship as merely a side-effect of substance abuse and nothing else. Those are the things that make Terry Terry, so basically, they have the character himself out here implying that he’s none of those things, because it’s all basically the drugs. So, who is he then? I don’t think Terry would ever do that and that he would have too much pride to admit something controlled him enough to have him act out, if anything, at least privately, in front of John, I can see him being cocksure, deflecting and remarking something along the lines of ‘Yeah, I did what I did. Fuck it.’ purely to seem in charge of himself. 

- Also, why is Terry suddenly seeming ashamed of everything about himself? His service in the military? His martial arts? His friendship with John. Again, so strange and I legitimately...don’t think this is in character. Like, maybe Terry would act to be cringed out by himself, but to truly and honestly be? 

- Terry (and John) generally viewing their relationship as weakness. Why? How? When?

[cheri-translates]

[CN] Shaw’s S2 R&S - Glacier Navigation

🍒 Warning: This post contains detailed spoilers for a Rumours & Secrets, 冰川行舟, which has not been released in EN! 🍒

This R&S features S2 Shaw

In terms of sequencing, this is Shaw’s first S2 R&S!

[ Chapter One ]

On this rare break, a phone call from Shaw brings me to the entrance of Loveland University.

At the school gate, a huge “Welcome New Students" banner waves in the wind. The osmanthus petals at my feet exude the unique scent of late summer and early autumn.

I follow Shaw through the bustling crowd and towards the graduate student registration point.

MC: The registration office... this should be it.

Shaw: Are you sure it's here? Just look at these registering students - how do they look like graduate students?

MC: You’re clearly the one who doesn’t look like a graduate student, okay?

Shaw glances at the long line outside the door of the office. Clicking his tongue, he eventually stands at the back properly.

Not having to wait for long, the both of us reach the head of the line.

MC: You don't need me to accompany you for the registration, do you?

Shaw: What are you thinking? Are you treating me like a kid?

MC: Then why did you drag me along to school...

Shaw: I just took you out for a breather after seeing you squatting at home for a few weeks.

He waves his hand at me in self-assurance, turning his head and entering the office.

I lean against the wall, waiting for him. As soon as I take out my phone, the tall figure walks out of the office fiercely.

MC: ...how did you settle it so quickly?

Shaw doesn’t respond. He suddenly leans forward, his eyes almost within reach. His half-squinting eyes contain slight irritation.

MC: W-what do you want... Ah! Don't touch my hair!

I raise my hand to protect my hair, but my cheek ends up getting pinched twice by two of his fingers.

Shaw: This is your punishment for leading me to the wrong place.

MC: No way, we really went to the wrong place?

Shaw: This is the registration point for the Chinese Department. The Archaeology Department is in Zhi Hua Building.

MC: Zhi Hua Building... I remember now. I think we passed by it earlier.

Shaw: Really?

Knowing that I was in the wrong, I quickly lift both my hands up as a guarantee.

MC: Really, I definitely won’t be wrong this time!

Shaw: Fine, I’ll reluctantly believe you this time. The last time.

-

[ Chapter Two ]

Since heading to the wrong place led to quite a delay, the door to the registration office of the Department of Archaeology is completely empty.

Shaw knocks on the office door. Inside, there’s only one middle-aged teacher who is currently reading the newspaper.

Teacher: A freshman? Come, fill in this form. Did you bring a copy of your ID card? If you didn’t bring it, give me the original. I'll make a copy for you.

Shaw: I brought it.

Teacher: What about the one-inch photo?

Shaw: Here.

Teacher: Oh, the boy's ID photo is so handsome! Sit for a while, I have to make a record.

Shaw: Mm, thanks for the hard work, teacher.

The teacher sits in front of the computer leisurely, then casts a curious glance at the door.

Teacher: Is that young lady outside your girlfriend?

Shaw: No.

Shaw pauses, then adds on.

Shaw: Just a friend.

Teacher: Oh... I understand~

The middle-aged man reveals a meaningful smile, and can’t help but gesture at the young man in front of him

Teacher: Young people have to be braver. How can a boy be so shy!

Shaw suppresses the urge to roll his eyes, squeezing out words one by one from between his teeth.

Shaw: Teacher, are you done with the registration?

[Note] There are different ways of saying “you” in Chinese, depending on formality! When being polite and respectful, especially to an elder, 您 (“nin”) is used. When talking to friends or someone younger, 你 (“ni”) is used. SHAW USES 您 HERE BECAUSE HE IS A POLITE BOY

Teacher: Yes yes, sign here. There’s one more thing I have to tell you. Because you filled in your identity as an Evolver on the form, I’ll have to trouble you to submit a copy of the Evol inspection report.

Shaw: The notice didn’t mention that I had to bring it.

Teacher: It’s a new requirement. It conveniences the school in terms of management, so I hope you can understand. Last semester, an Evolver lost control of his ability and almost lifted the entire classroom. The STF were called down for a day, and it was very troublesome. 

When he hears the term “STF”, Shaw’s expression stirs slightly. Then, he clicks his tongue impatiently.

Shaw: So troublesome...

Teacher: What did you say?

Shaw: Nothing. Can I hand it in another day?

Teacher: It's fine, just come back within five working days. Here, your notice.

Shaw: Thanks.

-

[ Chapter Three ]

Schoolmate A: Schoolmate, want to check out our e-sports club? We organise competitions every month, and you can receive exquisite merchandise!

Schoolmate B: Schoolmate, come take a look at our basketball club! Handsome guys and beautiful girls gather and keep fit...

Today happens to be the club recruitment day. When Shaw and I pass by the public square, students constantly stop us, asking if we wish to join their clubs.

I look at Shaw curiously, but he doesn’t seem to be interested in any clubs. He walks quickly, not even giving them a glance.

When we’re about to leave the public square, we are once again stopped by a student.

Schoolmate C: Schoolmates, I can tell at a glance that you’re both from the Arts Department, right? Tsk tsk, your outfits have such an artistic quality. I’m from the rock club of our school. Even though the club was only established this year, I believe we have great potential! Usually, the club will organise activities introducing various instruments and music appreciation for hobbyists. Our club president even formed a band himself! They’re performing over there. Do you two want to have a listen?

I initially thought that Shaw would once again ignore him and leave. Unexpectedly, he suddenly stops in his footsteps, then arches his eyebrows with interest.

Shaw: Oh? You guys have a band?

Schoolmate C: Of course! We don't do covers. They’re all original songs!

Shaw: Let’s have a listen then.

MC: Do you actually want to join this rock club?

Shaw: We’ll talk after listening.

After saying this, he walks towards the area surrounded by a cluster of people.

The venue is simple, but there’s a sizeable number of audience members. The band members in the middle are wagging their heads while performing a song.

The vocals are discordant, and the sound quality is inferior. I’m unable to hear the lyrics clearly, but the melody is really catchy.

MC: I didn't expect them to look like an actual band... Shaw?

Shaw: ...tch.

Shaw grabs my arm, leaving the scene without saying a word.

MC: What’s wrong?

Shaw: Hearing plagiarised songs dirties my ears.

MC: That song from before was plagiarised?!

Shaw: They copied an unpopular old song from the 80s. No wonder these people didn’t realise it. You should also improve your musical literacy so you wouldn’t be confused by copied songs.

MC: So what you mean is... I should listen to your band’s songs more?

Shaw: Of course.

I burst out laughing, and Shaw raises his eyebrows in dissatisfaction.

Shaw: What are you laughing at?

MC: No, no, I just think that you’ve always been very serious about your band...

Shaw: You seem pretty concerned about my band?

MC: Mm. I know that you really like this band.

Shaw glances at me, as though verifying the sincerity of my words.

Then, he turns his gaze away, and sunlight touches the corners of his sharp and slightly raised mouth.

Shaw: Even if it’s just for fun, I’ll do even better than everyone else.

He says these words matter-of-factly, as though so long as he’s willing, every difficulty can be stamped out by him.

Shaw takes a final look back at the noisy public square. Retrieving a pair of earphones from his pocket, he hands it to me.

Shaw: Wear it properly. I’ll let you listen to truly good music.

-

[ Chapter Four ]

Shaw: Let’s go. Also, we’ll stop by the supermarket along the way. I’m buying some daily necessities.

MC: I really couldn’t tell that you’d be willing to stay in a dormitory.

Shaw: Who said so? I don’t plan to stay in a dormitory.

MC: Huh?

Shaw: I never stay with outsiders. 

Shaw: Anyway, there’s a small room in Live House, and I plan to live there. Rehearsals will be convenient too.

MC: Oh... but your place is really too empty. Aside from a bed, it doesn't look liveable.

Shaw: Hm? How’d you know that my place is empty?

MC: I...

I bite my tongue, hurriedly tossing out a reason to muddle through it.

MC: I don’t even have to think about it to know. Judging by your personality, your house definitely has nothing but bare walls.

Probably because of my self-assured tone, Shaw retracts his scrutinising gaze, pursing his lips. 

Shaw: That’s not how you use “nothing but bare walls”. Did you even pay attention in school... Let’s go.”

[Note] The reason why Shaw says this is because what MC used was 家徒四壁 (“jia tou si bi”), which is an idiom literally translating to “nothing but bare walls”. However, this idiom is supposed to describe someone who is very poor!

Shaw has always been very proactive. When he finishes speaking, he quickly takes me to the nearest supermarket from school.

After a short while, the shopping cart is stuffed to the brim.

Shaw: ...wait. I asked you to get a washbowl for me. Why’d you get me three? Do you need to use three washbasins to wash your face every day?

MC: These three washbasins have their respective uses! This one is for washing your face, this one is for washing your body, this one...”

Shaw: Washes what?

MC: Fruits!

Shaw: So troublesome. I might as well buy fruits that I can eat directly without washing.

MC: This is a refined life, okay? If you think it’s too much, then I'll reduce... Hey, what did you put into the cart?

Shaw: Daily necessities.

Lowering my head to take a look, I see three boxes of animal-shaped clothes hangers. The chubby little animals have their cheeks puffed out, lying in the washbowls I’m buying.

MC: Wow, so cute! You’re quite good at picking things too! ...but why are you buying three boxes?

Shaw: I learnt from you. One box for clipping towels, one box for clipping clothes, and one box...

MC: Huh?

Shaw doesn’t finish the second half of the sentence, and I subconsciously look up at him, meeting his sly eyes.

Shaw: Since you came out to run errands today, I’ll give it to you.

-

Shaw leans against the door of Live House, quietly watching the taxi drown in the neon glow. Suddenly, the phone in his pocket vibrates slightly.

An unknown number appears on the screen. Shaw frowns, then lifts his hand to tap the answer button.

?: I heard you reported to school today?

Shaw: Looks like you guys are really free. You even have to bother about my enrolment in school?

?: How is it? Is everything going smoothly?

Shaw: It’s fine. Some situations cropped up, but I’m still in a pretty good mood. Also, you guys have to help me with something. The school wants me to submit an Evol inspection report. Forge one for me.

?: No problem. You can collect it from the usual place. Is there anything unusual about Nox from BS recently?

Hearing this alias, Shaw subconsciously glances into the distance. However, all that is visible is the gorgeous night of the city.

Shaw: She's been very busy recently, and seems to keep working overtime. That's it.

?: You know that’s not what we’re asking about.

Shaw: ...what’s the rush? I haven't finished investigating what you guys want to know.

?: Let me remind you not to mix in unnecessary emotions. Don't forget your mission either.

Shaw: I know. I'm hanging up.

The streetlights lining the long street light up in succession, dyeing Shaw’s hair in a warm colour.

He looks at the phone for a long time, and an untamed smile surfaces on the corners of his lips.

Shaw: I have the final say on how to deal with her.

He takes the long skateboard he had set by the side, lifts his ankle slightly, and skates into the night without hesitation.

More from S2: here

[obeymeluv]

Diavolo as a Dad

I just want to take a sec and thank everyone for the attention this blog gets. I’m always surprised at how many notes and reblogs there are. Seriously! I have, like, 16 posts and somehow I have 400 followers?! It’s really nice (つ´∀｀)つ

I like it best when there’s comments. It makes me happy ＼(^o^)／

I saw a comment on “The Bros as Dads” post asking for Diavolo as a dad, so here you go. I tried to tag you, but your handle didn’t come up :/

Hopefully you guys like this. I feel like Diavolo’s character is very vague.

This kind of turned into general Diavolo headcanons + Diavolo as a Dad. My b.

 General Diavolo Headcanons:

I headcanon that demons have a natural attraction to humans not only because of whatever energy they could provide, but because there’s something innate that makes them want humans. Maybe like an ancient call to their corruptibility or something. Or simply a predator coaxing prey into the den.

Diavolo is especially susceptible to this because he’s the prince. The higher up in the demon hierarchy you are, the more you want humans for their spirit, purity, the soul contract, and just some kind of satisfaction only they can give

There’s probably a forbidden fruit element to it, too. Demons were harassed by humans and angels alike to leave them be, and that just made them more attractive 

He genuinely wanted to befriend humans and knock down some old walls and superstitions, so he made the exchange program. A lot of times the sheer excitement of making it happen is enough to take the edge off his demon side. Ignore the whispers saying the little human would be such a treat, like a little lamb in the palm of his hand...

Diavolo’s a pretty outgoing and friendly guy who’s been trapped in a castle of propriety and demands. This human is also his chance at escape, to learn more than books could ever teach him.

At first he’s worried about seducing them (like the old call demands) but when he realizes the human has a crush on him without that influence, he’s stoked.

Pure and perfect, right? THE example of what his program was trying to achieve!

The dates start off innocent and cute--studying and tea in the castle, a small brunch here and there. Diavolo has skipped out on several duties because he simply must treat you to Devildom cuisine! If he didn’t, they wouldn’t get the full experience now, would they?

Barbatos has had to hunt down Lord Diavolo more than he cared for. If you end up convincing Diavolo back to the castle, he respects you. He appreciates the extra babysitter.

You bring a joy to Diavolo’s lavish monotony and he wants the Devildom and human world to know he’s serious about forging better bonds, so he asks if you want to make a pact.

That’s what he says, but it’s so much more than that. Diavolo couldn’t put it all into words and you probably don’t have the lifespan it would take for him to explain (if he could).

At most, there’s something warm and giddy and pulsing in him at the thought of being so close with you. Two souls sharing a bond. Being looked at with such love and adoration...

His pact mark is large and elaborate, and he takes great joy in hiding it from the Devildom, relishing the rare mornings where he helps you dress. He doesn’t regret bonding with you, but he doesn’t want to draw unsavory attention. 

Diavolo as a Dad (when you’re pregnant) :

You realize you’re pregnant before Barbatos and Diavolo do, neither one of them very familiar with how humans carry the pregnancy or change throughout.

There’s subtle signs about how your skin is changing, the way your hair looks, and how you smell different. It’s firing off in Diavolo’s brain, tickling at the edge of it, but he can’t figure out what it is.

Barbatos consulted Solomon and got extra suspicious. When you realize he’s starting to put it together, you do the reveal.

You write a note and draw a picture of the pregnancy test, mixing it up in the papers he has to review. Then, just to be extra cute, you busy yourself about the castle to “give him private time”.

Diavolo is handling his paperwork, per usual (it’s almost automatic). The unofficial form catches his eyes since it’s more a note than anything. He reads it and suddenly the WHOLE CASTLE is up in arms with joy.

Doesn’t matter what room you’re in, you heard him. That big, joyful laugh that works his whole chest.

The Little D’s of the castle are skittering around and whooshing through walls to help him find you. You can hear him flying around and calling for you, and it’s like the times you’ve played hide and seek.

The second Diavolo finds you, he crushes you to him and smothers you with kisses. His eyes sparkle as he snuggles you, big purr rolling through his chest. He’s asking a million questions about human children

The two of you take classes together. He studies up on humans and you learn about how to care for demon babies.

Barbatos cries inside at the thought of baby-proofing the castle. He gets the bright idea to hire a bunch of moms and they do sweeps of the castle, tidying up and making lists of what needs to be put away or added to make it safe

You’re given a special brew (exclusive to the royal family) and drink it daily. It fortifies your body to deliver the child and gives the baby its royal heritage (basically makes sure Diavolo’s genes and the demon side comes out a bit stronger).

Even though it tastes good and something in it makes you want to drink it, you’re sick of it by the second month. Barbatos and Diavolo continue to insist that you do. The child should be at least half-demon and will need to be recognized as next-of-kin for ruling.

Diavolo would love to take you out to socialize and attend public classes, but he’s busy and you’re in a delicate state. The royal physicians say the brew does a lot internally so it’s best not to stress you too much (If he’d done The King’s Brew ritual before you were pregnant, the baby would’ve been 3/4th demon and you wouldn’t have so many restrictions. Who knew?)

There’s a lot of private dates around the royal gardens and any beautiful sight he can give you. If you want company, he invites people to you. You want exquisite food? Barbatos can cook, but if you don’t want his cooking then Diavolo can have it delivered. The castle is spacious enough for you to get your daily exercise with simple walks. 

He adores seeing you in the royal colors and is constantly sharing visions of diaphanous gowns and anything that can make you comfortable to the designers. Always gushes when he sees you in something new.

Being an old-fashioned demon prince, he does a series of small oil paintings instead of maternity photos. When you explain that maternity photos are more of a human thing, he books a session so the child can see both (the oil paintings are tasteful and appropriate for the castle but they all end up in his study).

Is totally on board with helping you dress (or laying in bed with your huge baby bump when clothes seem a bit hard for the next 5-10 minutes), and taking long, relaxing baths.

Takes his paperwork to bed so he can watch you sleep. You might snore, and the bed is almost comically huge, but you look so relaxed that Diavolo swears you lied to him about being purely human

His favorite thing to do is rub ointments and tinctures on your belly to help your skin. Loves to give you shoulder kisses while he does.

When he finds out you’re having a boy, he commissions tiny matching outfits. He doesn’t know if he wants to gush over the details or cry (”Barbatos, how inconceivably tiny! Isn’t it amusing?”)

Diavolo as a Dad (for real) :

Has to be given very explicit instructions about age-appropriate play because the minute the kid is crawling Diavolo’s going to want to play with him like a toddler.

Lets him teethe on old antique gold stuff that gives Mammon an aneurysm when he realizes what the kid’s doing (and how expensive the thing is in his hands).

Had a treasure chest-style bassinet comissioned because his kid is his treasure. One of the two--two and a half, with Barbatos--greatest treasures in his castle.

100% uses the kids to shirk his royal duties, but you and Barbatos keep him on a tight leash. Literally. He has a coupon allotment for the week (if you didn’t do the coupon thing he’d NEVER get any work done).

He LIVES for the skin-to-skin contact and is very disappointed when he has to put clothes back on for guests or meetings. He’s just doing what’s best for his son, okay?

That child is going to be spoiled AF. Always wanting to be held or next to his papa.

Diavolo isn’t allowed to do the chest carrier because he gets so excited about stuff he might sling the kid around on accident (Barbatos banned it after he held the baby through some paperwork and spent half the time playing with his feet).

Can never get over how tiny his son is, or how he can hold him in one hand. Somehow works it into every conversation.

Will work his kid into every conversation. Has pictures to go along with it.

His official Devilgram is 80% his kid or you (or both), 5% Barbatos, 5% other people, and 10% bad shots he doesn’t know how to delete.

Almost all of his Devilgram videos were taken by Barbatos because Diavolo absolutely loses it when the baby speaks gibberish. He dies laughing and just can’t hold it together. The video is just shaky and blurry otherwise. 

You’d think every time he sees him is the first time because Diavolo is so smitten and amazed

The Little D’s of the castle are always giggling to themselves and racing to tell you that they caught Diavolo peppering kisses on his little baby forehead or fists.

He’s a really involved and happy dad. Childlike and joyful by nature, he’s super invested in his kid. Sometimes it’s like you have two, but Diavolo means well.

Decent at all reverse psychology ploys. Kid doesn’t want mommy’s affection? More for him! Kid’s not hungry? He’ll eat it, then (and the dessert that they totally can’t have now)!

Can’t really discipline. Feels too guilty. Threatens the child with Barbatos or you.

Is really surprised when the kid has a ‘mom day’ where it seems like he doesn’t exist but totally understands (”Your mom has that affect on me, too.”)

Hope you liked it :)

[a-room-of-my-own]

A bit of reading : orwomen.()scot/did-you-know/?fbclid=IwAR0H7TqxQNqemZcAGFtvR_HLkbkxmZ4FY6srcgrULWxGPyWuc6QPTmDQfVI

Did you know…

…that 80-95% of people who say they are trans choose to have no medical treatment at all – no surgery, no drugs, not even therapy? Transwomen are just male people who subjectively believe that they are female. That’s it. That is all that’s required.

Despite some commentators describing an “epidemic of violence against trans people“, transwomen are no more likely to be murdered than anyone else, and the best data available shows it’s half as likely. In Scotland, zero have been killed. In fact, transwomen are almost twice as likely to be the perpetrator of a murder than to be murdered in the UK, which is not surprising since a male pattern of violence is retained regardless of any transition or cross-dressing.

The 48% of trans youth have attempted suicide statistic is nonsense too. It was based on just 27 trans people (aged 26 and under), from a self-selecting online survey – which made the data worthless. Yet that hasn’t stopped the TIE Campaign peddling similar in Scottish schools (or is it 27%, they seem confused?), contrary to Samaritans advice on avoiding attributing the cause to any one incident. The NHS Gender Identity Development Service actually says “suicide is extremely rare” and rates of self-harm, distress and suicide ideation are similar to other children seen by CAMHS.

Did you know that 1 in 50 males in prison now self-id as trans according to Ministry of Justice figures? If it is so dangerous to be trans why do so many choose to come out when in jail?

Were you aware that 95% of prisoners are men, and 5% women? That most women in prison are there for financial crime, and most men are in for violent offending. Did you know that men commit 98% of sex offences? That 48% of transwomen prisoners are sex offenders (compared to less than 20% in the general male estate) and would swamp the female estate if they all transferred.

What makes these convicted sex offenders, who were born male, women? Why should female prisoners be locked up with rapists if they say “I am a woman”? Are you willing to be in a prison cell with a male rapist on that basis? And if not, do you think other women should be? Are you aware that women have already been sexually assaulted and raped, in several countries, because of this policy?

Did you know that Scotland already has a policy significantly more liberal than England’s, stating that transgender prisoners must normally be housed according to the “social gender” with which they self-identify? And that this policy was brought in by a senior prison officer, himself now a convicted sex offender? A policy put in place without even talking to women’s groups or considering that there would be any impact on female prisoners at all. Despite warnings of abuse, including from former women’s prison governor Rhona Hotchkiss, the promised policy review has not been forthcoming.

What about women’s refuges, have you considered what it could do to a woman fleeing male violence to encounter a male in that refuge? Read why the CEO of a domestic violence charity, Karen Ingala Smith, considers it imperative that refuges remain women-only, and her speech at the Scottish Parliament.

Did you know that a woman was asked to leave a shelter because, as a rape survivor, she couldn’t sleep in the same room as a strange male, regardless of how he identified? Are you aware that a man used self-id to access a women’s shelter where he sexually assaulted vulnerable women? Are you aware that a rape relief shelter in Canada lost all public funding for insisting they remain women-only, and had a dead rat nailed to their door?

Are you aware that the Scottish Government imposes a transwomen inclusive policy on Scottish Women’s Aid as a condition of funding and that Rape Crisis Scotland refused to guarantee a female counsellor for a traumatised teenager? We know from private meetings that they erroneously believe they cannot provide a single-sex service due to a lack of ‘case law’, despite having previously done so for many years. Did you know there is a male manager of a rape crisis centre, who failed to disclose his sex at interview, and which still claims to be women-led?

Are you aware that despite less than half of changing rooms in swimming pools and sports centres being mixed sex, 90% of sexual assaults have happened in them? Yet mixed-sex, ‘gender-neutral’ facilities are constantly pushed, including in schools – contrary to law and building regulations requiring separate sex provision – when it would be more responsible to increase third space unisex provision for the comfort of those who need it.

That’s before you even get into the issue of how to keep out predatory men who aren’t trans, if you say that any man who ‘identifies as a woman’ can use communal changing/showering areas at will. A man exposing himself in a park commits a crime. A man doing so in a women’s changing room, where you’re also naked, who need not have even told staff he identifies as a woman, may no longer be committing an offence.

Did you know that the Scottish Government funded LGBT Youth Scotland, a spin-off group from Stonewall, to write guidance for schools that breaches children’s rights in at least eleven ways? This includes the unscientific belief in gender identity, which even the Justice Minister is at a loss to define, the promotion of harmful breast binding and the removal of all single-sex spaces and sports. No-one should be surprised at this as Stonewall have long campaigned for the removal of women’s rights, although single issue political pressure groups should have been no-where near schoolchildren.

It took the Government until June 2019 to commit to replacing this guidance, having privately received advice that it was “not legal“. Yet, this new legally compliant guidance is seven months overdue and the Education Minister is refusing to withdraw LGBTYS’s guidance in the interim.

Why should we accept smear tests from any male who feels they have a womanly gender identity – what does that even mean (let’s ask the Justice Minister again)? And yes, it is happening. A rape survivor who wanted a woman to carry out her breast screening found her letter used as an example in hospital trans guidance as ‘unacceptable’ and ‘highly discriminatory’. And a woman in a psychiatric ward who was terrified at being locked in a ward with an “extremely male-bodied” fellow patient was regarded as a transphobic bigot. The truth is that women in mixed-sex hospital wards, particularly psych, have very real reasons to fear men.

Did you know that 35 clinicians have resigned from the Tavistock (children’s gender clinic in London) over their failings, including the Governor? Who later wrote a damning account of the abject failure to heed evidence that their affirmation-only policy is harmful to children, especially to the huge influx in girls who may suffer other complex problems, such as trauma, autism, a history of sexual abuse or discomfort with their developing sexuality. A staggering 48% of children referred to Tavistock have ASD traits, and a BBC Newsnight investigation revealed significant numbers of children seeking transition treatment based on their family’s homophobia.

Are you aware that studies show that puberty blockers result in 100% of children progressing to cross-sex hormones – whereas, if left unmedicated, the Tavistocks’s own research shows over 90%, if supported by counselling, are happy with their sex once they emerge from puberty. Did you know hormone blockers may cause sterility, a large decrease in IQ, bone density loss, and more? An investigation by the Health Review Authority concluded that blockers are really the start of irreversible physical transition and recommended that “Researchers and clinical staff should…avoid referring to puberty suppression as providing a ‘breathing space’, to avoid risk of misunderstanding.” This led to a major overhaul of the NHS UK website which no longer considers blockers to be fully reversible and confirms long-term effects are unknown.

The young person’s gender clinic at Sandyford, Glasgow has recently withdrawn their information booklet and we trust it will be similarly updated. Do you think all the government funded trans organisations will be scrupulous in updating their information too – including LGBT Youth guidance in Dumfries and Galloway, Scottish Trans/NHS guidance, and Stonewall advice, among many more, including of course the already deemed “not legal” school guidance by LGBT Youth?

Are you aware that the number of children referred to Sandyford is rising at a faster rate than the rest of the UK? Yet they don’t actually know how many girls have been referred as children can select what sex they want recorded on medical records – although unofficially, clinicians report similar concerns as elsewhere about the huge proportional rise in young girls seeking to transition. Did you know that bias, and not evidence, dominates the WPATH transgender standard of care followed in Scotland? And it is woefully out-of-date considering the fundamental change in patient make up since it was written in 2011.

Read the speech given by Dr David Bell at the Scottish Parliament and consider why, if his report about issues at the Tavistock prompted the Director to resign, was it not enough for the Health Minister, Jeane Freeman, to instigate an enquiry into identical practices at Sandyford? Perhaps the Government will listen to the outcome of a Judicial Review that is being sought by Keira Bell, a detransitioning woman, who wants to protect other troubled young girls from similar treatment.

Are you aware that women with our views are threatened with violence, rape and death, almost as an everyday occurrence? We are told TERF is not a slur, but I challenge you to find any instances of it being used without abuse or threats attached to it. Do you think it’s in any way acceptable for lesbians to be on the receiving end of these menaces for asserting, or even just trying to be proud of, their right to be same-sex attracted? Do you really think there’s such a thing as a lesbian with a penis?

All that hate is from transactivists, and is aimed at women with our views. I challenge you to find anything remotely equivalent from here, from our recorded talks, or indeed anywhere else. This is NOT a case of two sides as bad as each other. And it’s notable that the hate is not aimed at genuinely transphobic, aggressive men. It’s aimed at women. It’s aimed at us.

And JK Rowling. Read the tweets she posted and look at the replies. Read the essay further explaining her thoughts and ask how anyone could possibly think she deserved such atrocious abuse, or how transactivists thought it in any way acceptable to post penis images in retaliation (don’t worry, it’s been edited!) on a child’s thread about Ickabog art.

Did you know women can be, and often are, fired for believing sex is real, that humans cannot change sex, and women and girls are entitled to privacy when undressing or otherwise vulnerable? And yet poll, after poll, after poll, after poll show that this is the majority view, by at least 80%. You may well wonder why then, is the Scottish Government proposing to bring in Hate Crime legislation that would see even JK Rowling imprisoned for up to seven years for expressing views deemed abusive by transactivists, yet affords women no such protection in law, based on their sex.

Innate gender identity is a belief system. There’s no evidence one exists. If our Government cannot even define it, then it should not be presented as fact to our children. It should not over-ride women’s hard fought for rights.

Do you know that the very word ‘woman’ will change definition, if the trans lobby succeed? If we can’t define what a woman is, how can we accurately capture data? How can we record male violence, the pay gap, our representation in government, business, finance, law, media…anywhere? Police Scotland already record incidences on the basis of gender identity, but can’t seem to recall when, or why that happened, and the census looks to be going the same way, despite the importance of recognising sex being shown quite dramatically by COVID-19.

An influential lobby loudly insisting that they won’t be erased (when trans organisations are heavily state funded and train all major businesses, branches of government, school teachers, universities and NHS boards) are actively campaigning to erase the very definition of what a woman is – best archive it, just in case! Have you noticed how easy it is to define a woman when we’re being aborted, subjected to FGM, married off, denied the vote, raped, murdered, paid less, represented less in every single sector of government and industry, expected to perform most of the world’s unpaid labour, and constituting 71% of the world’s modern slaves? The only places that seem unsure on what a woman is are the places feminism was starting to make inroads. It’s almost like there must be some sort of a connection, isn’t it?

We don’t have any fear, resentment or hatred for trans people. We agree there should be protection in law against discrimination and violence. We just don’t agree that our rights need to be railroaded over in the process. We don’t agree that male people should access women’s spaces, or benefit from women’s provision, at will, without our consent. Our name is WOMEN and our rights matter.

Don’t you agree…?