#especially one of my super cool and awesome mutuals

[caloboletus-rubripes]

oh my god

[etherealily]

𝙒𝙃𝙄𝙋𝙇𝘼𝙎𝙃 // Nate Jacobs.

Nate Jacobs + Fem!reader. Dark. SFW, but discretion advised.

Part 2 : 9 Lives

Part 3 : Blessed

Part 4 : Shards

Part 5 : Eighteen

Part 6 : Sin

You do NOT have permission to repost and/or translate any of my fics.

Desc.: You're needed. Now.

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It's not like you even knew Nate.

You knew of him, sure, quarterback and shit, but still, it was unlikely your paths would ever cross.

Until they did.

Until he started following you on Instagram.

That shit... was so unbelievably odd that you almost blocked him because you thought it was a fake account. But then you saw the mutuals. Holy shit. This was legit.

The fact that his account was private didn't surprise you. Yours was public because you had nothing to post and his was private because he had everything to hide.

You sent him a request. No biggie. I mean, he had to accept, right? He was the one who followed you first - it was only fair. And if it took too long, then you could always unsend it, yeah? Yeah.

It didn't take too long. It barely took three minutes.

Okay. Cool. Weird but cool.

The next day at school, it was normal. You didn't acknowledge him, and he didn't acknowledge you. An average social media interaction. Good.

--------

Come Friday evening, you decided that watching Maddy cheer was a little less important than your deadline and building your portfolio.

She absolutely supported you (rolled her eyes and said 'whatever, nerd. You still love me, right?') but was a little upset about it (pouted and called you a cunt).

Three hours went by, and you surprised yourself with the amount of work you were getting done. This is great. Friday evening well spent. Work a bit more, and then-

Nate Jacobs tagged you in a Close Friends story.

Close Friends? Tagged? NATE JACOBS?

Okay, one : no fucking way were you on his Close Friends.

Two : there were virtually zero pictures of the two of you, so tagging you was moot.

Three : there was supposed to be a game starting about fifteen minutes from now, Blackhawks versus whatever pretentious team they were going to beat, so why the fuck was he even online?

(Oh, yeah, the Blackhawks were absolutely fucking awesome.)

The story was only text. Text and nothing more.

Y/N, accept my message request. Now. I am not fucking around.

What message request? WHAT the fuck was going on?

You frowned, immediately scrolling over to messages. Shit. There was a request.

A picture, along with six other messages.

This was so strange. It was especially strange that he found the time to text you, when he was supposed to be practicing throwing the old pigskin around for the victory of his school. But text you he did. As if him following you wasn't enough to give you whiplash. "Yo."

"You're not here." No shit, Sherlock.

"You should be."

What the hell was that supposed to mean? This was the most excruciatingly awkward interaction you'd ever had.

"You should be here. Come."

Did he think he was super macho with all this mysterious, vague, one-word bullshit he was spewing? You know what, you'd actually bet your entire school tuition he did. But you wouldn't give him the satisfaction of asking why.

"U don't just send requests to random people. Don't act like you don't know me. Don't ignore my texts."

"I'm fucking losing it. Come now or else."

WHAT. THE. FUCK.

This was the most random thing to ever happen to you. Nate Jacobs, some random jock you never even said one word to, was texting you as if you had been best friends since two years old and you had always been all rah-rah-go-team for him.

You were almost scared to open the picture. Instagram asked you if you were sure. Once, twice. You should have listened. But you didn't, and you were about to face the consequences.

Red. That was the first thing you saw, and the first thing that had ever grossed you out enough to physically throw your phone away.

So much red.

Above the red, concealed almost cruelly, was a black box with white text in it. For a moment, your eyes were overwhelmed, so overwhelmed with the monstrosity in front of you that you couldn't even begin to comprehend what the words meant. You picked your phone back up, squinting your eyes and blocking out the rest.

He must have noticed you accepted his request, because you saw 'Typing...' pop up way too fast for him not to have been waiting.

"I'll cut deeper if you don't show up."

Nate Jacobs was a cruel and manipulative bastard of a man who you would happily let die.

But not like this.

════════════════════ ⋆⋅🏈⋅⋆ ═══════════════════

You glanced at the screen and then back at the road, from time to time. There was no indication that he was typing. The 'online' sign still stayed. Okay. So he either just threw his phone away while still on your chat or he was about to-

Nate Jacobs started an audio call.

Clearly tonight wasn't going to be the night you stayed in and finished all your assignments, like you'd decided.

"Pick up or I'll fucking kill you."

Yup, that sounded about right.

You laughed, incredulously. The genuine threat wasn't lost on you, but what else does one do in this situation besides laugh at the absurdity of it all?

Better safe than sorry. You swiped up.

"Y/N, please just come."

It felt so weird to hear him say your name. It felt even weirder to hear him say 'please'.

"Why?"

"You need to be here." His voice was unwavering.

"Look, Jacobs, I'm sorry, but I have projects and assignments to work on. Not to mention, my portfolio-"

You wanted to see how far you could take it. He couldn't hear your car's sounds, and he couldn't possibly track your location, so according to him, you were still sitting at home, petulantly.

If he was joking, he'd just cuss you out drunkenly. If he wasn't, he'd... keep begging.

"Jesus fuck, Y/N, just come!"

"I can't. I'm sorry."

Keeping your calm was the best thing you'd ever done for yourself, the greatest form of self-care you could give yourself, because Nate Jacobs sensing nervousness was like sharks smelling blood in the water. Quick and bad.

"I have important shit, too, you know? Scouts are here, Y/N, please!"

"Look-"

"Coach, I know, just five more minutes - FUCK, Y/N, you gotta come.", he pleaded, his tone becoming far too pathetic to brush off.

"Why?"

"Why? Whaddayamean why?", he huffed out, frustrated, as if you were supposed to know this already.

2 + 2. What galaxy we live in. The colour of the sky. Why you were needed at the game. According to this asshole, all these things were common knowledge.

"I will cut deeper."

"Stop bullshitting, Jacobs."

You hoped to god that your voice didn't betray your bewilderment. This better be a sick fucking joke.

"I'm cutting."

"Stop."

"Coach says the five minutes are up, but I won't play without you here."

A video. SHIT. FUCK.

"What the fuck is your problem?!"

Actually, no. This better not just be a joke, because if the entire school was in on this shit, you would end up cutting him.

The grunts of pain and sharp inhales from his side of the call got more and more grotesque as you pulled into the school parking lot.

The school had an unsettling vibrancy to it after hours, and this was only exacerbated by the fact that you were supposedly the cause for a boy to slice through his own skin. It shouldn't have seemed this vibrant, this overwhelming, this vivid, this.... bright, but it did. The world moved at an eerily quick pace, like a carnival ride on LSD.

As you ran across the parking lot and gripped the gate to the stadium and basically swung right past it, you finally realized how fucking loud a crowd could be.

It was like they knew that their QB might be bleeding out because of you, because they seemed to scream loud enough to torture you for eternity.

Immediately manhandled by Chris McKay -another jock you had absolutely no connection to, but who seemed to have a very personal grudge against you-, you were pushed out of the locker rooms as quickly as you came in. Fuck's sake.

"Let me go , McKay!"

"Coach is trying to calm him down, and if he sees you, we got no idea what he might do, okay? OKAY?", he ordered, sternly, through clenched teeth as he shook your shoulders.

He was earnestly trying to be calm and gentle, but his fingers gripping harder and harder into your arms did jackshit to help his case.

"Okay."

He nodded, sighing in some emotion that seemed oddly like relief.

What, did he expect more of a fight? Did he expect you to be all 'no, I gotta see him now?'

You had no clue who the hell this bastard was, let alone what he wanted. No way were you going to kick and shout for him.

"What the fuck is his problem?", you asked, sighing against McKay's chest, exhausted.

He shrugged, rubbing his forehead in exasperation. "He's stressed about the game."

"So he cuts himself in my name? We don't even know each other, dude!"

"Okay, he isn't exactly the one you go to for rationality, alright?"

"Yo, the fuck's going on, man? The game was supposed to start-"

The other team's captain.

"Yeah, we're just, uh, dealing with a situation over here.", assured McKay, biting the inside of his cheek to keep from going ballistic at Nate. Or you. Most likely Nate. But even more likely you. "Tell your coach we're so sorry, and we'll be out in a minute, tops."

The other guy scoffed, grumbling as he stomped away, glaring more at you than McKay. What, did everyone know now?

"He thinks we're trying to hook up before the game.", explained McKay, patiently, almost embarrassed. "It's a thing some athletes do, 'for luck'."

Jocks were the weirdest fucking aliens to ever exist.

════════════════════ ⋆⋅🏈⋅⋆ ═══════════════════

Crimson traced paths through the blinding white of the bandages wrapped tightly like dependent vines around his palm. Noticing the lack of uniformity of white, Coach tsked. "We need more. McKay!"

"Yes, Coach?"

"One more, then you can send her in."

"She came?" Nate's voice, though feeble and exhausted - and now, hopeful - was heard through the tiny gap in the door that McKay made sure would remain tiny as he passed the last bandage to him, and you didn't want to admit it, but it broke your heart.

Ew. Nate Jacobs was breaking your heart?

Coach finished wrapping Nate up, and McKay guided you in, with both measured aggression and protectiveness.

Nate's eyes lifted and brightened up immensely, a feat you'd only thought possible by a lone spark igniting and breaching every inch of a dry leaf.

"You came."

"Son, I don't know what the hell you were thinking-"

"No, no, Coach, she's here, we can play."

Everyone stopped breathing at that moment. What the hell did the self-wounding quarterback asshole just say?

"What'd you just say, Jacobs?"

"We can play. Y/N's here. This isn't my good palm, anyway, so it's fine. Let's go."

And just like that, Nate was back. The amount of theses that could be written on this sheer anomaly of a man, the amount of studies that could be conducted, the amount of shock anyone else in this situation would go through- all unheard of.

No one else could handle it, though, besides all the people right there in the room. The best friend : self-taught and well-versed in handling him, the Coach : the authority figure that could calm him down with a bunch of fatherly words and....

And you : no one knew what the fuck you brought to the table. But something told you no one else would have survived in your shoes.

"Alright... then...?" Even Coach was absolutely speechless.

Nate nodded briskly, shooting up with a sudden burst of energy as he smiled at you.

Smiled.

Ladies and gentlemen : Nate Jacobs was on crack, confirmed.

He drew you in against his chest with an extremely unprecedented jerk, and you locked eyes with McKay behind him as he did so.

Not crack. Probably fent.

Your questioning gaze- which obviously said 'what in the everloving fuck is he doing?' - was met with a shrug and a look which suggested he barely even recognized his best friend right now.

"Okay, let's go WIN this motherfucker!", shouted Nate, patting your shoulder and loudly clapping his hands together before sprinting out of the locker rooms into the cheering football field.

It was dressed entirely in Blackhawk colours and bathed in a fluorescent, sickeningly pale light that you had to now spend an hour and a half in. Ugh.

Whiplash or not, you were about to throw up.

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You know those moments after a surreal event? When you just... sit. Stare into space and... ruminate.

You were having one of those in your car. The game had ended, really well, too, with the Blackhawks winning by a landslide. Your windshield had never held such secrets before. You stared through it.

Knock. Knock. Knock. Bang.

You turned. Nate Jacobs' fist fell on your window more times than you thought was necessary. 'Unlock the door, Y/N.'

You shook your head. Not a fucking chance in hell.

"'Y/N, don't be difficult, unlock the fucking door."

Something in you told you that that would be the worst mistake of your entire life.

"I'm sorry, I just want to talk, yeah?"

You had no idea if he deliberately made it a point to rest his bandaged palm on the window in full display to manipulate you, or if it was just a coincidence.

Just a coincidence, right?

You sighed, nodding your head in the direction of the passenger's seat as you unlocked it. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

He slid in, grinning as he shut the door.

"You catch the touchdown?"

"Yeah. I did."

"What'd you think? Smoothest match yet?"

"Sure."

His grin gave way to a lour as he scoffed. "Why are you so cold? Our school won."

"Why am I so cold? Why am I so cold? You asshole, you just cut yourself to make me show up!"

"Because you didn't show up when I asked nicely!"

"You're a psychopath." The effect of this word on him was oddly intriguing. He seemed to both be offended by it and seemed to get off on it.

"Can I just explain?", he sighed, sucking on his teeth for a moment as he watched other students, cheering, whistling, hooting and drinking, through your windshield.

You gestured at him to continue. He wasn't worthy enough of your words.

"You know athletes have...", he trailed off, searching desperately for the right word of vindication.

"Small dicks?"

"Okay, deserved.", he muttered, rolling his eyes. "Look, we have, like... superstitions, sometimes. For luck."

"Like the hooking up thing."

"How do you know about that?"

"McKay told me."

He scoffed, shaking his head as if his friend had divulged the biggest secret, as if he had broken some moral code.

"Alright, fine, whatever. But, uh, I pretend like it's not something I do, but I kinda have them too."

If he was about to say what you thought he was going to, you were about to press into the wound just to watch him bleed again. How dare he.

"My, um, my first game, I bumped into you on my way to the locker rooms.", he admitted, clearing his throat as if to clear space for whatever he was going to say - because it was so obviously the solution to String Theory, like he was making it out to be.

But oh, shit. He actually was going to say it.

"And we won. The next game, I did the same again, by accident. Y'know, just, this time, I fist-bumped you."

"When the fuck did you-"

"You were drunk, and you were cheering all of us on with your friends. You went for McKay's fist, but I did it instead. Uh, yeah, anyway. So, from the... maybe fourth? Yeah, the fourth game, I made it a point to at least brush my arm past you. Haven't lost a game since."

Your touch was his good luck charm? Was he clinically insane? Or was he just a massive loser?

"What's next? Our rising signs are aligned?"

"It's not a fucking joke, Y/N!", he snapped, his fist clenching.

"Really? Because it's pretty fucking hilarious."

"You know how hard it was for me to even admit I had superstitions, let alone about some random nobody girl I've never even talked to?"

No, no, he was not trying to make you feel bad, no goddamn way.

"You know how hard it was for me to see some random nobody guy bleeding out because of me?"

"It wasn't that deep." The pun was intended. It was so evidently intended that you wanted to slap the smirk off his lips.

"Yeah, okay, get out."

"Okay. You better show up to the next one, babygirl, or I'll have to take more drastic measures."

The audacious son of a bitch ruffled your hair and winked before he left.

════════════════════ ⋆⋅🏈⋅⋆ ═══════════════════

"C'mon, Y/N, don't be a cunt. Just do it. High five me. Fist bump me. Hug me. Whatever. Just do it, I've got a game to get to. And... everyone's watching."

The very next weekend, there was another game. Last game of the season. And you were supposed to be there, of course, because Nate's 'entire life depended on it.' And what's worse? He'd dragged you there, from your internship.

That's right. He'd basically come to your place of work, interrupted a conversation with your boss, and tugged you along with him because of his borderline insane obsession with having to touch you for luck.

He could have gotten away with it, too, if his 'good luck charm' theory hadn't involved you having to make contact with him right before the game.

And now you were out there on the field. Backing away from him. Refusing.

"Y/N, please."

"Fine."

You slapped him across the face, as hard as you possibly could.

The entire football field gasped.

He'd fucked up your week with the picture of the blade carving into his skin, and now, he was fucking up your career by costing you your internship. And what's worse, he didn't even care.

"Go. Play now."

He clenched his jaw, closing his eyes to suppress his rage before he opened them again. "That's not how it works. It has to be mutual. Like a fist bump. Or bumping into each other."

"Oh, okay.", you shrugged, grabbing his wrist before using it to uppercut him. "NOW go. PLAY."

You didn't know if you were being 'whoo'd or 'boo'd by the crowd, but at this point, the only thing you could hear was the red hot fury in your boiling blood.

He bit his lip as you let go of his hand, and before he jogged out onto the field, you could have sworn he said something that, if you'd heard it right, could cut through your entire soul and ruin your self-perception for years - something absolutely, shatteringly degrading.

You hoped you'd heard wrong.

Taking your seat in the stands, you scrolled on your phone, ignoring the entire fucking game. As expected, text from your team leader.

Gone. Internship gone. LoR gone. Nate Jacobs? About to be gone.

-------

He won.

He. Fucking. Won.

And that smirk that he gave you before blowing you a kiss that immediately morphed into flipping you the bird made you want to genuinely ask him to recreate that video once again.

You hated yourself for it, but yes.

You wanted him dead.

All the trauma he'd given you the past week couldn't be left unpunished.

Oh, to knock him off his pedestal. OH, to be the one to make him scream in pain instead of arrogant mirth.

"Whoo! Nate FUCKING Jacobs, baby!", he cheered in your ear as you gritted your teeth, walking back to your car. "And, of course, you."

You threw your bags into your car, ignoring him as you get in, starting the engine. He thumped on the hood of the car. "Come on, you can't still be mad! Your boss was looking down your shirt, anyway!"

"Oh, and I'm supposed to believe you did this out of the goodness of your heart?", you scoffed.

"That's right, baby, chivalry ain't dead."

"No, but you're about to be. Get the fuck out of my way."

"Hey, I need a ride. Gimme a lift."

"No chance in hell, Jacobs."

"Stop wounding me. Let me in."

"Or what?"

"I'll break your window.", he shrugged, casually. Normal things. The sun will rise tomorrow. Seasons will change. He'll break your window.

"I wouldn't be letting you in if I didn't think you were psychotic enough to actually do that."

He chuckled, sitting as he rested his duffle bag on his lap. A couple moments later, he looked up at you. "What? What are you waiting for?"

"Tell me where to go."

"You don't know where I live?"

"Okay, let me explain this to you, slowly. I didn't know jackshit about you till, like, a week ago. I didn't know your age or what kind of car you drove, or even what classes we shared, much less where the hell you live!"

"All this shit just proves that you don't observe people around you. You only care about yourself."

"If I only cared about myself, you'd have bled out last week."

He sighed playfully, resting his feet on your dashboard because he very evidently knew you would have a neurotic breakdown. "I, for one, know your age, the kind of car you drive, all the classes you have, plus your favourite colour and food."

"The first two are moot.", you replied, ignoring his silent mockery of the word 'moot'. "Next, you know I'm in all of Maddy's classes. And the rest you can find on my account. Account stalker."

"Account stalker. God, sweetheart, you're such a child. You don't want your account stalked, don't have a public one."

"I barely even post anything!"

"Oh, yeah, what about last month?"

He was looking at your profile last month? "I'd gone to France. It was a photo dump."

"It was unnecessary."

"Okay, you know what this is?"

He raised a brow.

"This is post-game audacity, is what I call it. You won. You're Mr. Big Shot, so you think you can just-"

And that's when Nate Jacobs kissed you.

To call it the worst fucking moment of your life would be a massive understatement. "Drive."

"You did not just fucking kiss me."

"You want me to do it again?"

"NO."

"Then drive."

This motherfucking bastard of a man!

════════════════════ ⋆⋅🏈⋅⋆ ═══════════════════

"You wanna come in?"

No way in hell were you going into Nate Jacobs' house. Especially when there was a party going strong.

"I'm good."

He rolled his eyes, his arm leaning on the top of the window as he leaned in. "I don't bite. Initially."

"Ooh, you don't bite initially, oh, please let me come in right now! Shut up and get in, Jacobs."

"You've earned the right to call me Nate. Congrats. Begin using it."

"Why? We're never talking after this."

He scoff-snickered. "Oh. OH, so that's how it is.", he nodded, amused.

"Yeah, yeah, that's how it is."

He guffawed, banging on the hood of your car. "This ain't funny anymore. Come in."

"What? No."

"Is there really only one way to ask you to do something?"

"No, Jacobs, don't you dar-"

But he didn't listen. When did he ever? His fingers emerged from his pocket with his knife in tow. NOT AGAIN. This was the most cunning, calculating, manipulative, Machiavellian-

"I'm cutting. This time, my wrist."

"You're so fucking dumb, y'know that? You're psychopathic."

The grin on his face showed that you were wrong. He wasn't offended. He was 100% getting off on it.

Drops of blood reached the floor, and you realized you couldn't just drive off and leave this guy here - he'd probably still be cutting just to prove a point.

"I hope you die.", you mumbled, getting out of your car and slamming the door.

"I'm trying, dude!", he laughed, pointing at his wrist. Oh, this sick bastard.

"Not dressing that wound?"

"C'mon, blood is sexy. Badass."

Nate Jacobs was about to see how 'badass' blood could really get.

And when you were done beating the everloving shit out of him, you kissed him. Because he deserved to know how infuriating that shit was, too.

The next day at school, it was normal. You didn't acknowledge him, and he didn't acknowledge you.He didn't seem to care about the fact that you hit him so hard he almost had a concussion. An average social media interaction. Good.

How it should be.

But then he texted you.

Fuck.

[spenceragnewfics]

THE MEET CUTE | Trevor Evarts x F!Reader

I'm so sorry if this sucks!

Summary: As a popular Youtuber and close friend of Chanse, you get invited to be on TNTL and meet an unlikely friend.

Word Count: 614

Being an influencer wasn’t something you ever thought you would be. Granted, you did grow up in the peak age of online content so it shouldn’t have been too surprising when you decided to try your hand at it during the pandemic. You were bored and thought it would help the time pass, it did plus you got five million followers in the span of three years as well.

During that time, you met a friend named Chanse. You two met at a mutual friend’s house and have been best buds since. His humor works perfectly with yours and you two are known for being super close. He used to be in a lot of your videos over Zoom or Facetime which got him some popularity too.

It’s because of Chanse that you are sitting on the Smosh Pit set right now, getting ready to film TNTL. You had watched the series for years so it feels like a dream to be filming it, especially with your best friend being right next to you. You had met some of the cast and crew before shooting but this was something else. 

Sitting on the stool, your fingers are typing away when someone walks onto the stage. “Oh, hey, you’re Y/N, right?” A male voice asks and you look up to see the most beautiful man you have ever seen. His light brown hair and facial hair make his youthful face more mature but his glasses help keep his youthful look.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, I am. And you are?” You ask, getting off the chair. “I’m Trevor. It’s great to finally meet you, Chanse has said a lot about you.”` You look at him shocked, “I promise that most of it is probably not true.” He laughs while shaking his head. “It’s all been good, I promise. I’ve also seen a few of your videos. I’, excited to see if I can make you laugh today.”

“I’m excited to see you try.” You say, smiling before everyone gets called into place. Since you’re the special guest, you ae chosen to go first. It’s a smooth and funny filming and Trevor is the last one to go.

He comes out in a girly wig and holding a play camera as vlog camera. He lays on the floor and holds the camera in a familiar position before you spit out your water when he speaks, “Hey, hey, hey, all my panbaes.” It’s the intro you used to use back in the pandemic because you thought it was funny.

You soon understood how cringey it was and changed it but it had become a meme amongst your fans and now will get even more attention thanks to Trevor.

The rest of filming goes well before it’s called a day. Walking over to Trevor, you giggle “You did awesome, I genuinely did not expect that to come up.” He shrugs, trying to play it cool.

“Eh, I thought it would be funny. Do a bit of a throwback.” He says, his cheeks getting red. “So, have you seen more of videos than your letting on?” You ask, suddenly feeling more confident.

“Yeah, I used to watch all the time back when the pandemic was happening. I still keep up but not as much as I used to. I really like your stuff.” You smile and feel your cheeks heat up at his confession.

“Well, I would like to thank you and would also like to ask if you wanna get lunch sometime. Maybe we can discuss some of your past stuff, Mr. Streamer.” He chuckles and nods, “Yeah, yeah I'd like that a lot.”

“Okay, it’s a date then.”

[ryans-planet]

This is a new blog, if you remember following me before please do so again here.

Tumblr hates trans people :/

Intro

Please read entire post BYF

(Last updated: 9/5/2024 (updated ABT ME)

Hey! I’m Ryan, new to this stuff and I mostly am here to explore my kinks in a fantasy way, reclaim some part of my sexuality and have somewhere to just dump things I want/like to do!

If ur from my main no you aren’t!!!

if you’re going to follow/follow back please follow this blog! Thank you <3

If you’re feeling kind, I’m working on relocating and any help would be greatly appreciated!!

Ca$happ:$olivetreeboy

Slight venting may occur.

Join my NSFW T4T tumblr discord?

Abt me

22

transmasc agender

On T currently, been off and on since 2020. Due to resources.

uhhh let’s say I’m queer with no interest in cis women and folk who ID as lesbian.

Gray-romantic/Aroflux

Huge huge Switch

Audhd/chronic pain

No label yet, but I’ve been told he bites so stay away. His tag is #yeehaw bc I’m down bad

White

Fat (fatphobia/chasers/feederism r blocked immediately.)

DMs open to mutuals I will also give discord too if you have it!! but I am awkward and bad at replying sometimes 😭!

Don’t come into my DMs saying sexual shit immediately. I’m a person too! And have no obligation to continue a conversation if it becomes too sexual too quickly for me. And if you’re 30+ I won’t answer you. My max age is 30 in sexual situations, unless ur trans and then idc how old you are.

If you haven’t sent an ask in a while I’ll move your emoji down to inactive. You may always reappear when you want 💕

Active Anons: 🌊,🕷️,🦇,🦊,🐸,🪷,🍃,🐶, ☕️,🦋,🗝️,🧸,🎪,

Inactive anons: 🍁, 🦌,🦁,✨,🐾,🕸️,

All posts on this blog are to be assumed mlm or T4T (includes trans women!!) unless stated otherwise.DO NOT tag my posts as wlw, or sapphic. I am a MAN. wlw are welcome to interact/follow/rb, but my stuff is by me; a man. It makes me uncomfortable for my posts to be tagged with those things.

Silly yap posts under #ryanplanetyaps Pictures under #pics of me

✨🔻Kinks+🔻✨

Enjoy in purple 💜

Favorites in pink💕

Interested in Orange 🧡(All go for receiving & giving)

Praise

Hairpulling

Biting

Choking

Edging

Overstimulation

Gun/Knife play

Breeding (only T4T/No pregnancy unless pet-play)

Wax play

Pet play

Corruption

Impact play

Force Masc

Somno

COCKWARMING 💕💕💕💕 (receiving especially)

Bondage

Intox

Anal is. Probably a no irl. Fantasy/asks r chill.

Absolute No’s

AgePlay (I’ll block you. I check almost everyone who follows/reblogs me.)

ForceFem

Nipple play (receiving)

Scat

Incest/fauxcest

Feederism

Piss

Heavy degradation

Race play (I’ll block you immediately.)

Misgendering

Heavy CNC and NonCon THIS INCLUDES RAPE PLAY. I’m fine with other cnc listed in my kinks but anything harder/extreme is a major Do FUCKING NOT.

OTHER:

Genitalia

terms to use are as follows; hole/cunt/boycunt dick/cock/tdick, Chest. Don’t use the terms tits/boobs for me (super awesome & cool if you don’t mention chest/nipples at all./srs)

Names/Titles/Compliments

that are absolutely okay are; Sir, Puppy, good boy, pretty boy, slut. Handsome. Apart from pretty boy please do not use more traditionally feminine worded compliments for me.

I have one main sexual trauma trigger, please do NOT use text emojis with /// as blush while talking to me. That’s all thank you!

DNI

Minors/ageless accounts

ED/SH blogs; have had my own issues and am in recovery.

DDLG/similar kinks

TERFS

Racists.

Fatphobes

Detrans kinks/blogs.

If you like Incest shit. I really hate it so bad, even in fantasy.

Zoophiles/p3dos

Zionists/Nazis

Chasers of any kind but especially fat and trans chasers.

Conservatives.

WLW/Sapphic only/Men DNI blogs

[bruisedboys]

MAL’S 6K HOLIDAY PARTY !

this celebration is now closed. all finished blurbs can be found here

YOU ARE INVITED! to celebrate hitting 6k followers, and seeing as the holiday season is upon us, I’ll be hosting a super cool and awesome holiday celebration! there will be blurbs, moodboards, games and more. please come and join the fun (there will be lots of hot men there I promise) !! the celebration will run from dec 19th to jan 1st. below you can find the party agenda ♡

( please read the rules at the bottom of this post before sending in a request )

☆ THE GUESTLIST

( pick and choose your characters from the list below! )

───── james potter, remus lupin, sirius black

───── finnick odair, peeta mellark

───── miguel o’hara, tasm!peter parker, peter quill

───── bruce wayne (the batman)

───── bradley bradshaw, jake seresin

───── steve harrington, eddie munson

☆ THE MENU

( combine an item from the menu with a character on the list above! )

───── gingerbread house . . . send in a character from the guestlist + a dialogue prompt from this list or this list and I’ll write you a blurb!

───── candy cane . . . send in a character from the guestlist + an action prompt from this list or this list and I’ll write you a blurb!

───── hot chocolate . . . send in a character from the guestlist + an au + a prompt from one of the lists linked above, and I’ll write you a blurb! (eg. rockstar!remus, firefighter!james)

───── marshmallow . . . send in a character from the guestlist + an aesthetic, concept, trope, or colour and I’ll make a moodboard!

☆ MORE FESTIVITIES

───── ribbon. games! kiss marry kill, cym, would you rather, etc. (you can send in as many of these asks as you like!)

───── gift wrap. mutuals only! send this ask and I’ll make a moodboard to match your vibe/your blog ♡

☆ A FEW HOUSE RULES

please send no more than two requests per item on the menu. I don’t want to much of a buildup in my inbox otherwise I’ll get overwhelmed!

be considerate of my time and my efforts! although I can’t guarantee I’ll be able to fill out every request, I promise I’ll try my best! even if I don’t answer yours, please know I appreciate every request I get

no smut requests please! this is a sfw only blog, any nsfw asks will be deleted

✉️ a message from the host …

hello my angels! 6k!!!!!!! I am going to cry. thank you so so much for all the love and support, 6k feels huge! I’m really grateful I get to have my own little corner on tumblr to talk about what I like (aka silly fictional men I’m hyperfixating on) !! I’m grateful to every single one of you, and thank you especially for sticking with me even when I’m stuck in my (seemingly never ending) creative ruts, it means the world. also!! happy holidays!!! and merry christmas to everyone who celebrates. this is my little gift from me to you. have fun! x

♡ mutual tags!

@darling-im-wonderstruck @moonstruckme @ddejavvu @ghostlyfleur @venuslore @inkdrinkerworld @taintedcigs @bcyhoods @prongsio @starryeyedstories @zstrn @headkiss @thyme-in-a-bubble @earthcowgirl @sp1rit-realm @fxllfaiiry @wolvisms @spiderfunkz @rocklnds @oncasette @fitzells @louvrr @bradshawed @iovesia @amourrs @cosmal @vampieteeth @ouchvns @girlcanines

back to nav

[guppieishere]

[OLD] So I found this Smiling Critters relationship chart and did it with my OCs because I want to talk about them more

relationship chart template by Valentinbelleyh on twitter

First up is Rozzie Rockoon!

more detailed explanations of her relationships with the main cast of critters are under the cut!

DogDay:

“DogDay’s awesome! He’s totally lead guitar material.”

“Rozzie’s really fun to hang out with! She’s great at playing music too!”

Rozzie and DogDay are good friends! Rozzie admires DogDay’s leadership skills, and DogDay likes Rozzie’s music. Even though DogDay doesn’t hang out with Rozzie as much as the main critters, they enjoy hanging out together, and he often invites her to hang out when she’s around.

Bobby Bearhug:

“Bobby? She’s nice! She’s just a bit… mushy-gushy? It’s not really my style, y’know?”

“Rozzie’s an amazing musician! And she’s just as good a songwriter! I wonder if she’s working on any of my suggestions…”

Bobby considers Rozzie a good friend (no surprise there), and loves her singing! She often tries to suggest song ideas for Rozzie to write, usually having to do with love or romance. Rozzie thinks Bobby is nice, but is a bit off-put by all her lovey-dovey stuff, mainly because Rozzie hasn’t ever been interested in romantic stuff. She’s tried to make a song with her prompts, but hasn’t gotten very far.

CraftyCorn:

“Crafty’s my art sister from another mister! Love her artwork, dude!”

“Rozzie’s very nice! I love making art with her!”

Crafty is a bit shy around Rozzie at first, but they soon bond over their shared love of the arts! Crafty once designed an outfit for Rozzie’s performances, and in return, Rozzie wrote a song inspired by one of Crafty paintings.

Hoppy Hoppscotch:

“Hoppy’s so much fun! I love her energy! I bet she’d be tons of fun at a concert!”

“Rozzie’s so, so, so cool! …And really understanding, thankfully.”

Hoppy and Rozzie hit it off almost immediately, thanks to their shared tomboyishness. Rozzie tried to teach her to play the drums once. It… didn’t go so well. (Hoppy accidently tore one of the snare drums. Rozzie wasn’t upset, and the drum was easily fixed, but Hoppy decided that playing instruments probably wasn’t her thing.)

Catnap:

“Catnap seems chill! And… a little bit creepy, to be honest.”

“Rozzie’s music is lovely. But her sleep schedule could use some work.”

Rozzie doesn’t dislike CatNap, but she also can’t help but be somewhat unsettled by him. It doesn’t help that CatNap once snuck into Rozzie’s house to put her to sleep when he noticed she was up late working on a song. Catnap either doesn’t notice this, or doesn’t care. He like’s Rozzie’s music, especially her more relaxed songs.

PickyPiggy:

“Picky’s nice! She’s an awesome cook, and she’s got great taste in music!”

“Rozzie’s just peachy keen! And she likes country music, like me!”

Rozzie and Picky don’t immediately hit it off, as they have trouble finding any common ground, but they eventually find a mutual interest in country music! They probably discuss their favorite country musicians over snacks and stuff every so often.

KickinChicken:

“Kickin’s super cool! Dude’s got tons of style!”

“Rozzie rocks! She’s almost as cool as I am!”

Like with Hoppy, Kickin and Rozzie hit it off really quickly. Kickin also plays an instrument (specifically, he plays the bass guitar), so they frequently get together and have jam sessions! Him playing the bass is actually what gave Rozzie the idea to try and teach Hoppy the drums, so they could start a band together! It didn’t end up panning out, though…

Bubba Bubbaphant:

“That Bubba dude is really smart! I wish I was as good at remembering stuff as him.”

“Rozzie’s nice! And surprisingly calm when she’s not playing music.”

Bubba initially finds Rozzie to be a bit intense, but he eventually warms up to her once they interact when she’s not playing music, finding her to be actually pretty mellow and relaxed. Rozzie, on the other hand, took a liking to Bubba pretty quickly, being impressed by his memory and intelligence.

I’ll do Randy and Clever tomorrow probably (or I guess later today cuz it’s 3AM when I’m writing this)

(if catnap were real he’d be so pissed lmao, I gotta sleep)

[astarionposting]

hey!! Could you share your favourite tav's of others? I'd love to connect with other people who posts their tav's! Also thank you for your tutorial's, they helped me so much <3

Hello! I got a similar ask but about male tav’s as well, so I figured I’d post it all in one. I don’t really follow that many Tav-centred blogs, mostly Astarion/Halsin/Gale, BUT a lot of my lovely mutuals have some BEAUTIFUL Tavs and I’ve even had the privilege of being able to photograph and edit some sets of them! &lt;3

My lovely mutuals with their beautiful Tavs/Durges/OCS:

@vspin (I love her drow baby she is so beautiful I wanna give her a little smoochie smooch)

@cheekylittlepupp (BEAUTIFUL GORGEOUS GODDESS ANGELIC OC I am going to be doing some edits of her soon hehe)

@anderwelt (their OCs are so beautiful and unique, I had the pleasure of editing Ceres, but working my way towards editing Tae who is equally as cool and awesome and amazing)

@tadpole-apocalypse (so much beautiful artwork of their oc I luv Morgan sm)

@honeysulani (ALSO MAKES BEAUTIFUL SIMS IF U LIKE SIMS AS WELL)

@stinkrascal (pls pls look at their ocs i beg u they are all so beautiful and handsome)

@mercymaker (beautiful beautiful ocs AND incredible edits, just u have to see for urself ok??)

@asykriel (really hot and sexy male tav but I didn’t wanna say it out loud)

@narrayya (they make their own self-sculpted heads and they are absolutely gorgeous and ethereal and SO SOOOO UNIQUE)

@tugoslovenka (a gorgeous DRACONIC BLOODLINE drow lady and a new pretty pretty elf gal-also most badass names I’ve ever seen-I just steal mine from other video games 😭 )

@bhaalbaaby (many beautiful tavs, but I must say Penelope is my absolute favourite she is just so so soooo cute)

@julietvoid (NOW HER OCS ARE SO BABYGIRL I LOVE THEM THEY ARE AO BEAUTIFUL I JUST WANNA GIVE THEM SMOOCHES AND TWLL THEM HOW MUCH I LOVE THEM OK???)

@korcariiwitch (super fucking cool drow oc I love love LOVE)

@haarleps (i forgot to add but then remembered, VERY VERY BEAUTIFUL TAVS/OCS, especially Freyr also bc i am biased since that is freyja's-the goddess my tav's name was yoinked from-twin brother's name in norse mythology so i rlly like)

@malewife-mansplain-magus (this one is for the male oc anon- u just need to look like their ocs are just 👌👌chefs kiss ALSO INCREDIBLE AMAZING BEAUTIFUL ARTWORK I WAS LIKE WTF WHERE DID THAT MASTERPIECE OF GALE COME FROM ITS ONE OF MY FAV GALE FANARTS)

So there are probably so many more of my beloved mutuals that have incredible tavs/durges/ocs, I’m just really bad with my memory but I also tried to focus on those who (I think) post their ocs consistently 😭 so if I didn’t mention you and you are mainly a Tav/Durge/OC blog, PLEAAASE comment like I wanna see it and I also would love to share it for others to see &lt;;3

[alexisomnias]

— I admire the stars from afar with closed eyes

i love my mutuals 🤍🦢 ( appreciation post )

. alphabetical order

aly @soleillunne

we dont talk all that much, but i see you on my dash and smile, like, every single time. im so nervous to talk to you and i dont even know why DJUSHSJ your just so cool and friendly and literally a superstar to me idk 💕 your sososososo awesome and i admire you a lot!

ceru @ceruleancattail

so awesome, literally such a star. your talent is out of this world, and the kindness in your heart is above all. your one of the most friendly people ive met, and your so so loved and admired, especially by me!! Seeing you on my dash is always such a highlight, and seeing your work is even better. Keep doing what you love because i know you can never truly fail 💕 your just too talented..!!!!!

faera @atsdlura

faera ☹️💕 i love you so much/p, your so light, and full of just love for so many others. your probably one of the most genuinely sweet people i know, and I adore your art. everything about you is sweet and so uplifting! whenever i talk to you I feel better and ready to finish the day! your genuinely sooo awesome and Im sososososo happy we met.

hana @haismie

one of the sunshines of my life. i can never truly put into words how much i actually care lmaoo, your my friend from before the platform, and I’ve seen you grow so much, in both terms of writing and drawing. your so utterly talented and the way you weave words leaves my heart burning! ughhh the boy you are!!! thank you for making my day, everytime you send me a message.

khoi @khoipyan

I MISS YOU BROTHER. everytime i see you pop up instantly my mood is lifted!! your very talented, and awesome, and amazing, and i love seeing you talk about your interests!! THINKING OF YOU 💕 take care

kei @keii-starz

oh kei, i always adore seeing you on my dash. you are so loved, and cared about 💕, im so happy i met you because our conversations always brighten me up. your so supportive and kind, and i just want to cover you in soft blankets as you deserve. thank you for always being so kind!

lei @trappolia

lei, the loml… your so fun and always such a highlight of my day… i love talking about everything ever with you, and dont forget about the birthday fic you wrote me?!?! hello?!?! still look at that consistently btw bcs of how sweet it is! your so talented and i adore your writing so much! your super awesome and im grateful ive got to know someone as bright as you.

millie @poppurini

millie you have to be one of my favorite people on the website tbh, we dont talk as often but literally your so fucking talented and i just want to hang everything you do up in a museum and explain it to passerby’s. your personality is so wonderful, and always cheers me up. your so cool, and fantastic as well, i can find no negatives at  all for knowing you! I appreciate you and your work a lot…!

mika @mikacynth

mika the sweet girl that you are omg. your not online as much anymore but every time you are I can just feel the positive vibes uplifting 💕 you mean so much to so many people are your very cared about i hope you know. your very talented and super intelligent. i appreciate you a lot!

misha @mishantics

MISHAAA i hope you know everytime i come across something you reposted on tiktok i scream your name in my head!!!!!! your such a talented artist and someone worthy of inspiration! I appreciate you so so much, and you deserve the best!

skylia @kaiserkisser

skylia oh what a flower you are. YOUR SO AMAZING AND KIND!!! your one of the people i’ve known for longest, and i appreciate you so much for all the kind words you throw at everyone. i love seeing you on my dash, and i appreciate you silently 💗 even if i dont message you a lot i hope you know i do see you

vi  @floraldresvi

. vi, to me your everything good in this world. your always there for me no matter how small or big and you always make me feel included, make me feel worth something. I admire you a lot, and i think your plenty awesome with everything you do, your totally lovable! im sooo grateful i met you, genuinely, you make so many of my days full! 💕

ying @xianyoon

YING YOUR SO COOL… your such a big sibling figure to me and I look up to you so so much, more then you could know. If your the sun, im a star taking in your light in the hopes i can shed that much love on others you do with your warmth. your so admirable and i want to be like you!

. . .

this has been a stressful tiring month for a lot of us, so just know your all cared about and loved 💕

if your a mutual and not on here, wait awaiting in your inbox

[theconstitutionisgayculture]

This blog is unabashedly pro lawn

I've seen a lot of anti-lawn posts over the last few years, and I've honestly never understood how anyone can see those pictures of perfectly cut lawn side by side with a field of weeds and actually think the weeds look better. Up until now I've mostly ignored those posts because I don't want to be negative on my mutuals reblogs (especially not about grass, stupid thing to fight over), but I finally felt like making my own pro-lawn post. So this one's for everyone who understand the beauty of bright green grass. Who loves the feeling of an evenly cut, bug free lawn under their bare feet. Who adores the smell of fresh cut grass.

Look at that pretty grass. Look at that aesthetically pleasing carpet of green. Doesn't that look so much better than a bunch of weeds and wildflowers? Isn't it nice being able to go outside and not have to walk through a bunch of bees and beetles and dragonflies and other annoying flying things? Isn't it super cool how man can tame nature and make it beautiful for us?

Don't let people make you feel guilty for not wanting to live in a wild field. The bees aren't going to die out because you have a lawn. Trees aren't going to die out if you don't plant 30 of them on your property. Weeds aren't going to go extinct if you spray your lawn.

Lawns are awesome.

[megamindsecretlair]

Sit Still (Look Pretty), Part 2

Pairing: Nomad Steve x Black!Fem!reader / Plus Size reader

Warnings: 18+. Minors DNI. You are in charge of your own reading experience. Mutual voyeurism, Oral, fingering, fem receiving. PIV, unprotected. Cursing. Mild age gap. Reader is mid 20s and Nomad Steve is mid 30s. Part 2 of ?, I don't know how long this will take to wrap up. PWP.

Summary: AU where Steve was born in modern times but still received a serum in the army to make him a super soldier. He's moved in next door and has noticed you watching him. He's done watching today.

Word Count: 3,668k

Read Part 1 | Read Part 3

A/N: I don't know what it is about Nomad Steve. Once I start typing, I just keep going. So enjoy my brainrot. LOL. Apologies if I miss any warnings. All mistakes are mine. While likes are awesome, please consider commenting and reblogging to help writers!

You lazily swam on your back in your backyard pool, your hands gliding through the cool water. The sun beat down unbearably. Any part of you not in the water was currently frying. Still, you swam, enjoying any kind of relief and any excuse to be outside.

It had been a few days since you spoke to Steve, the military neighbor. You were too nervous to try on clothes in the window. Before, it had been a naughty secret. It was okay to be half nude in the comfort of your room when no one could see you. But knowing that he had…well, you were pretty sure he saw your boobs and you weren’t sure how you felt about it.

On the one hand, it was hot as hell. Especially if he liked what he saw. On the other hand, you didn’t know this man or what he was about. He could be a creep. Yet, somehow you didn’t think so. Your gut told you that he was a decent man. But again, you didn’t know that. It could be wishful thinking.

However, you missed it. You missed thinking he was right across from you, itching for a view of your curves. You took a deep breath and submerged yourself in the icy water. This pathetic little game had to end. Before long, you would be too delusional to recognize reality from fantasy. 

Your head broke the surface and you wiped water from your eyes. The water made your skimpy swimsuit bubble around you. You smoothed it down and turned your face up to the sun. The dual sensation of heat and cold was just perfect enough to not be annoying. 

You cracked open an eye and stared directly at Steve’s window. He was standing at it, on his phone. He wore a white tank top and sweats and was on the phone. He stared at you with a slight smile. 

You stood transfixed, rooted in the pool. Water flowed around you and the slight current rocked you, but you might as well have been a statue. His mouth moved but of course, you didn’t know what he was saying. 

He gave you a small wave with his free hand. You waved back. It had to be illegal to look that good in casual wear. Surely, there was a law against being that hot. It was a hazard. It’d cause traffic accidents or cause people to spontaneously combust. Something. Surely. 

You lowered into the water until only your neck and head were out of the water. Steve watched you do it but then shook his head. He nodded his head, indicating that you should stand back up. 

You cocked your head. He wasn’t the boss of you. You stayed under the water and walked backwards, letting the water rush over your overheated skin. Steve nodded his head again and you shook yours. 

You smiled and blew him a kiss. He smirked and put his hand in his pocket. For a moment, he was content to watch you swim. It was thrilling having someone watch you. You could almost picture his eyes roving over you. 

When you stopped to look at him, he was no longer at the window. You stood up and pouted. Damn. Was he even watching you? 

You chuckled to yourself. This was absurd. You climbed out of the pool, pulling yourself up by the metal ladder that burned your hand. You idly rubbed it as you walked over to the lounger where your towel was. 

You dried yourself off. You placed one leg on the lounger and wiped down the runaway droplets. Your eyes flicked to his window, because you couldn’t help it. You somehow craved his attention despite not knowing anything about him. 

He stood there once more, still on the phone. He smirked as he caught your eye. He nodded towards you, lifting his hand as if to tell you to keep going. So you did. You dried off as slowly as possible, keeping your eyes trained on him. 

He ran his tongue across his bottom lip and you wondered what he tasted like. Out of places to dry, you focused on wringing the excess water from your braids. Those took the longest to dry, but it was okay, you’d wash it later and dry it while watching something mindless on TV. 

Steve crooked his finger at you. You bit your lip. You pointed towards his front door and he nodded. He wanted you to go over there. To his house. In broad daylight. 

You huffed. This was crazy. Steve crooked his finger again and disappeared from the window. He couldn’t be serious. 

Everything inside of you screamed not to go over some strange man’s house. But you slipped your feet into your slides and found yourself walking towards the fence around your yard. You wrapped the towel around yourself as you left through the side gate and crossed the grass towards his front door. 

You rang the doorbell and a second later, he was there opening the door. He looked you up and down before stepping aside and letting you in. 

Nervous laughter bubbled in your gut but you stamped it down. He closed the door and locked it, sealing you inside. 

“Yes, I agree with that, General,” Steve said. The phone was pressed to his ear so you couldn’t hear the other side of it. Steve walked forward, grabbed your hand, and tugged you deeper into his house.

He had just moved in, but already his things had been more than half way unpacked. Empty boxes sat near the front door while his furniture was neatly arranged, a bookshelf filled with books, and dishware left out on the table. 

He tugged you upstairs and you briefly wondered about all the water you were dripping on his hardwood floor. You winced. His hand was cool to the touch. Air conditioning blasted through the entire house. 

He pulled you into an office. It was creepy how these houses were so similar. His office was where your room would be in your house. 

Once inside, he put the call on speaker and mute. “You are in big trouble,” he said.

You smiled. “Hello to you too, neighbor,” you said. 

He smiled back. He had such a boyish smile that was at odds to the man you created in your head. His beard was neat and trimmed making him appear more mature and distinguished. 

“Now why would I be in trouble?” You asked. 

He shrugged. “You get me used to your shows every day and then just stop?” He asked.

You gasped and then you giggled. “Well, a girl kind of needs feedback. I can’t tell if you’re looking or not,” you said. 

“I’m definitely looking. And I have no notes. You are gorgeous,” he said. 

You roll your eyes. “That doesn’t exactly help.”

He stalked forward, using his height as an advantage over you. You craned your neck to look into his eyes. 

“The shows continue,” he said. His voice made you shiver. It wasn’t incredibly deep, but it did have a rattle in the back of his throat that made you long to hear it again. 

“Or what?” You challenged.

He rocked back on his heels with a smirk. “Oh, it’s like that?” He asked. 

Before you could tell him about himself, he grabbed your wrist and pulled you to his desk. There were still boxes thrown about as he was getting set up. But his desk was clear except for a few notebooks and a pen. 

He picked you up and you yelped. As a big girl, you didn’t get picked up often. It was jarring. One minute you were safe and planted on the ground and in the next, you were lifted up without a grunt. You slapped at his thick arms until you were sitting on his desk.

“My towel is wet-”

“Pull down your bottoms,” he said. 

You gaped at him. He placed his phone on his desk. There was a man still talking but you didn’t care what he was saying. Your eyes were fixed on Steve. 

“You can say no at any time. You can walk out right now. But I don’t think you will.” He reached out and pushed your arms down. Then, he unwrapped your towel and let it fall around your waist.

“Why’s that?” 

“You’re still sitting here. And I think you like being told what to do,” he said. He stroked your cheek. He smelled earthy, like mountain air. 

“No one likes being told what to do. Least of all me,” you said. 

“You’re used to getting what you want, aren’t you? Big fancy house like yours, parents are well to do. Bet you hardly heard the word ‘no’ growing up. Am I right?” 

“Maybe I earned everything I have. Good grades, stayed out of trouble…?” 

“Ahh, the resident good girl who never did anything bad. Right?”

Your stomach flipped when he said good girl. You pursed your lips to keep from looking at that too closely.

“I wasn’t some goody two-shoes, okay? I’ve done plenty of things.” 

“Yeah? Prove it. Bottoms. Off.” He stared you down. 

What’s worse was that the longer he stared, the more you felt compelled to comply. You hooked your thumbs under your swim bottoms and pulled them down. You leaned up to pull them under your ass and down your legs. It dangled off of one foot until you popped your foot and it fell to the ground with a wet slap. 

“Open up for me,” he said. His voice grew huskier, his dark blue eyes never leaving your face. 

You opened your legs until you were completely bare to him. He took his time looking you over. His eyes studied your body. He looked at the bikini top covering your boobs, your tummy with stretch marks, your thick thighs, and finally the hair at the center of you. 

“Gorgeous,” he said. 

The general on the phone called Steve’s name. He unmuted the phone. “Yes, I’m still here General. I just don’t see why we’re taking this guy seriously. I mean, he calls himself Ultron. If that doesn’t scream idiot, I don’t know what does,” he said. That caused a few people to laugh over the phone. 

He placed the phone back on mute. “I want to keep this phone off mute. But that means you gotta stay quiet for me, sweetheart,” he said.

“You’re joking,” you said. The cold air and your wet skin made you shiver. But so did the hungry look in his eyes. He couldn’t be serious. 

“You’re going to stay quiet. You’re going to be good for me. And you’ll get a reward later,” he said. 

You opened your mouth to protest but he silenced you with a quick, harsh kiss. He was not gentle at all as he took possession of your mouth. His beard was surprisingly smooth and silky against your skin. His breath was faintly minty. He pulled away and you chased his mouth, wanting more. 

He put a finger to his lips, telling you to be quiet. He unmuted his phone and sat down in his chair. He rolled forward until he was eye level with your pussy. 

You gasped already. While he was on the phone? 

His eyes snapped to yours with a silent warning. And that was the only warning you got. He dived in between your legs, his mouth latching on to your clit with an accuracy you’ve never experienced. You usually had to wiggle or grab a guy’s head to move him where you needed him.

That was beyond unnecessary for Steve. His tongue delved into your folds and licked and sucked on your clit. You bit your lip, hard, trying not to moan or gasp or yell or anything else you needed to do. 

His hands snaked under your legs and pulled them open wider. You started to shift. He felt too damn good. He tightened his hold on you and continued to suckle and tease. You could feel your arousal leaking from you and onto the towel. 

You panted, your eyes rolling back into your skull. Your tummy tightened, trying to stave off an orgasm. You never wanted him to stop. You dug your fingers into his hair and scratched at his scalp.

“Captain?” 

Steve placed a sloppy, wet kiss to your thigh. Your juices dripped down his beard and you whined a bit. He gave you an annoyed look. “Sorry about that, General. I understand the assessment of the situation, but it’s my professional opinion that this Ultron guy is no more than a kid trying to rule an anthill. Sokovia is a backwater country that’s constantly under new management,” he said. 

Steve nipped at your leg and you jerked. “Not a sound,” he mouthed before his lips returned to your pussy.

You leaned back on your elbows and threw your head back. There was no way you could stay quiet. Pleasure rippled through you and your legs became uncontrollable. He leaned down further and lapped at your pussy and you gasped anyway. He stopped and leveled you with a deadly stare.

He glanced at the phone but the general or whoever else was on the phone were busy arguing over something to do with a strike team. 

“Sorry,” you mouthed. 

He returned to licking you, but went far slower. You struggled to not make a sound. Your orgasm steadily built back up. Oh, this man was dangerous. He played you like a damn fiddle. He licked one slow line from your clit to your pussy and then back again. He placed his whole mouth on your clit and sucked.

Your orgasm rushed through you causing you to spasm out on his desk. You bucked and writhed so badly, he stood up and held you down, placing his hand over your mouth. 

“If he had a weapon large enough to decimate Sokovia, I’ll chew a brick,” Steve said to the phone and the general laughed. 

On the way down from your climax, Steve stared at all the faces you made. You probably looked like a hot mess. But he was focused. He smirked. You got back onto your elbows to support your weight. You scooted forward, ready to return the favor, but he stood in between your legs and trapped you in place.

You nodded your head to him. He licked his lips and then wiped his wet beard on his arm. Your cheeks flamed thinking that all of that came from you. 

He leaned down and planted sloppy, wet kisses on you. You smelled and tasted yourself on his tongue and it made you whimper. He bit your lip as a reminder to shut the hell up. You were so turned on, you couldn’t think straight.

None of your past sexual encounters had been like this. The guys you had been with were nice, good in bed, but it was nothing to write home about. It was nothing to write songs over or stay up until 4am reliving the memory. But this. This was enough to get addicted to. You felt empty. You ached. You yearned to have him inside you. 

His hands roved over you, from your shoulders to your arms, to your legs and thighs. He nipped at your jaw and neck. Then his fingers slid up your thigh until disappearing inside of you. You breathed heavily, the sound exceptionally loud in the quiet room. 

“Breathe,” he whispered in your ear. 

You slowed your breaths but he kept up his delicious assault. He added a second finger and your mouth opened. “You can take more than that,” he whispered. 

He added a third finger. He kept up a relentless pace, driving his fingers in to the knuckle and then back out. His thumb circled your clit and you nearly jumped off of the desk. 

He picked up the phone with his free hand and rejoined the conversation. You weren’t paying attention. You were too busy holding on for dear life. Pressure built and your pussy squeezed his fingers. 

He drove your pleasure higher and higher, this second climax hitting you faster than the first. 

He took his fingers out and shoved them into your mouth. His fingers were coated in your arousal and you sucked on it as you rode out your orgasm.

“I think the man we should be focusing on is Zemo. Now, he’s a nasty guy,” Steve said into the phone. He watched you again, watched as you came apart under his hands. You were hungry for his fingers, coated in the evidence of how insane he made you. 

You moaned softly around his fingers as you settled down. You had no idea how you were going to suck him off after that. But fuck, you wanted to try. He withdrew his fingers and you licked your lips. 

You wanted to taste him. You wanted to see him. His sweatpants were tented with a large dick print. You leaned forward, hands outstretched, but he grabbed your wrists in one hand and pinned them to your side. 

Your eyes were glazed over, but you managed to focus on him long enough to see him smirk. He continued to talk for a moment so you were content to look at him.

He was, without a doubt, the most handsome man you’ve ever seen. His hair was brushed away from his face. He had a slight sheen of sweat on his forehead. He talked with his whole face, his expressions were fluid as he talked. 

He placed the phone down and grabbed your chin.

“Still with me, sweetheart?” He asked.

“Yes,” you whispered. 

“Good, I’m not done with you. You’ve been such a good girl for me,” he said.

You wailed briefly, before he narrowed his eyes at you. What the hell else was there?!

He crowded your space again, stepping in close between your legs. He pulled down your bikini top, exposing your breasts. He kissed your chest, then licked it. He kissed his way to your nipple before teasing it in between his teeth. 

Oh, you wanted to cry out so badly. You wanted to shout from the rooftop. You felt so damn dirty and naughty being used like this. He could do whatever he wanted with you. And no one knew you were there. 

Could you even tell your friends about this? Did you even have the words to describe something this magical? Your friends probably wouldn’t believe you. 

Rolling your nipple around his mouth, he pulled down his sweats. You couldn’t look. The only thing you could do was feel. 

He dragged the tip of his dick up and down your folds, getting it nice and wet before he pushed in.

“F–” 

He kissed whatever you were about to say. He was huge. He took his time pushing into you, getting you acclimated for his size. He wasn’t even halfway in and he was still going. He pulled out and then pushed back in, going deeper with each stroke. 

When he bottomed out, he stayed there for a moment, letting you adjust. Your eyes snapped to his and he had a patient smile on his face. “You’re doing so good, sweetheart. So, so good,” he whispered in your ear. 

You bit his chest. You wanted to make a sound. You wanted to cry out. He had to know what he was doing to you. You were driven mad with the need to let it all out. 

“Yes, General. We have intel that Zemo is the real threat. Not some megalomaniac with a Pinnochio obsession,” Steve said. 

Steve pulled out and then slid back in. He did it a few more times to make sure that you could take him. Then, he let loose. He pounded into you.

You dug your nails into his shoulders and just held on as best as you could. “That’s it, sweetheart. You take me so well,” he whispered. 

Your head lolled back. It was too much. You were still sensitive from your earlier orgasms, so on every slide in, he grazed your clit and it made your head go numb with pleasure. You wouldn’t survive another orgasm. You bucked against him, pushed against him. He had to slow down or something.

“No, sweetheart. You can take me. I believe in you. Look how well you’re doing already.” His voice was like a light in the storm. 

You weakly pounded on his chest as he lifted one of your legs and he drove deeper still. “That’s my good girl. You take all of me,” he said. 

“I’m going to cum in this tight, little pussy. You want that, sweetheart?” 

You nodded. Hell yeah you wanted it. You didn’t think you were one for a creampie. Especially considering that he wasn’t wearing a condom. But fuck it. You were ready for anything he gave you. 

He sped up and dug his thumb into your mouth. You sucked on his finger. He clenched his jaw, trying not to make a sound either. The generals on the phone continued to drone on and on. 

He took his thumb out of your mouth and circled it around your clit. You came, hard. Your back lifted off of his desk and he leaned forward to push you back down with his body weight. You clenched painfully around his dick and he exploded. 

He shot thick, warm ropes of cum into your pussy. Jets of it painted your insides. You both tried to quietly pant and huff. He kissed you as you came down, his tongue moving over your lips. You kissed him back, bringing your hands to play in his silky hair. 

“Yes, General. I will send you more intel on Zemo. Let’s schedule something soon to discuss more about Ultron and their demands,” he said.

He hung up the phone. “Oh, sweetheart. You’re mine now.”

You finally moaned and flopped back onto his desk.

Read Part 1 | Read Part 3

[almost-an-artist]

Ok, I know I did gifts already, But I wanted to do this as well.

Merry Christmas Guys!

To all my followers and especially my Mutuals, thank you for an amazing few months! I haven't been here long, only since September, but I've grown more attached than I can explain in words. You guys truly mean the world to me.

Here's some personal thanks from me to you, silly little people in my phone!

@hiimgin - Gin, I don't think I have enough words to express my admiration, appreciation, and love for you, but I'm going to try. You really mean the world to me. Even though we've only known each other for 3 months, you have a permanent spot in my heart. Your art makes me immensely happy, it's style and whimsical air has me kicking my feet and smiling when I see it. You make my world a little brighter. I really love you.

@peepthatbish - We haven't talked a ton, but when we do, it makes my day. You are so supportive and kind, and are often able to boost my self esteem. I can tell you really care, and it means the world to me. Thanks for being around, really.

@sleepy-artist27 - We don't talk, but you're constantly supporting me, and I am forever grateful for that. You're really nice and your art is amazing! You're just all around a really cool person!

@akchimp75 - AK!!! Your suuuupppeeerrr cool! Your art is amazing and you're just an awesome person in general. You're super nice to me, and you've helped me realize how much I've grown as an artist so far, and I really appreciate you for that. Also, you're pretty funny? I don't know if that's something that makes sense, but you just feel whimsical. Anyways, I love you!!!

@prince-of-red-lions - Windy! Hi! I think you were one of the first people I was recommended on this app, and Tumblr must have done something right because you're really cool and amazing! I love your art so much, and your sense of humor is immaculate. You're really funny! Anyway, I think you're an amazing person, and I hope you have a good holiday season!

@whyoneartheven - Hi Evie! Everything about you is amazing! Your art, your blog, your personality.. you're just great! I really love your OCs, even though I don't know much about them yet.. I think they're neat! You're also one of the first people that followed me here, and I will be forever grateful for that... You gave me a taste of being liked on the internet and it was lovely. I really appreciate you, and I hope you have an amazing Holiday!

@uniquevoidflowers - Uni, you are spectacular!!! I love your writing, like, a lot, and your Oc's are also suuuupppeeerrr cool! I really like Princess Meadow :3. Anyway, I think your writing is amazing, and you are very creative. I'm very glad you are my mutual, and I appreciate you a lot!!

@kiwi-der-vogel - Kiwi, your art style is immaculate. I really, really love it, and I think you're super cool and a pretty funny person! Spirit Tracks for the win!!! Whenever you post, I feel a certain kind of joy, your art is that good! I just think you're really cool, and I really look up to you! I hope you have an amazing Holiday! You deserve it :)

Here are some mutuals I don't know well, but I think are super neat anyway!!!! You guys mean a lot to me! @r0achezz @candy8448 @cal-the-imp @xaeorian @expiredlonlonmilk @twidash-ftw-blysse @margindoodles2407 @blakesoul16 @ikaishere @silentzprincess @turdofanerd @vanilla-puff

I hope you all have a lovely Holiday!!!

I really appreciate you!!!

♥️♥️♥️

I really hope I didn't forget anyone, I'm really sorry if I did!!!

[sad-trash-pigeon]

2023 appreciation post :)

i hope everyone has amazing health and experiences all kinds of love in the new year. i just hope this new year is absolutely incredible for everyone. y'all deserve only the best in 2024 <33

@swiftieannah you're so sweet and amazing and literally the funniest person ever like oml. i love hanging out with you and you're the best friend ever i'm so happy i met you. ily bbg 😍😍

@brokenmiirror ahagshabga you're amazing and have been such a cool person to talk to. it's lovely having writer mutuals, especially ones who love the outsiders. you're actually so cool like oml you just give off the best vibes <3

@melancholymelomaniac you scare me ngl. like how do you always find every sad post i make?? you seem really chill and just give off the best vibes. like you're spooky, but also really fucking cool <3

@if-i-could-give-u-the-moon you were one of my first mutuals which is like super cool. you're amazing and i love the playlist you made me :)

@skilletthescarletspaghet i love your blog so muchh <3 and your current theme is amazing. you're so cool and sweet and ahhh

@ray-of-midnight-storm you are one of the nicest people i have ever talked to on tumblr. like ahsvshba how are you so sweet and amazing and??? ilysm <33

@lost-in-reveriie your blog is absolute stunning. like oml. your introduction post is so prettyy :) you're absolutely amazing and i'm so happy to have you as one of my mutuals <3 you give off the best vibes

@kirireyn for a long time i thought your two blogs were two separate people.. like an embarrassingly long time. you're amazing and i love your (now only??) blog <33

@just-sarah-xx ahh you're absolutely incredible <33 libras are some of my favorite people, ngl. you're an amazing person and ilyy

@rosees3ray you're a really cool person in general, but also i love your art <33 i need to follow your art blogg

@gently-decaying-flowers you're so sweet and amazing and ilyy <3 we've been mutuals for awhile and you're just always incredible. i love your different blog names, you always choose the best ones!!

@sleepy-vix ahh you're one of my favorite solitaire mutuals <33 i love your blog, it gives the vibe of messy poetry. like poems written in fits of inspiration on anything that's close, like a napkin or table. and like in a good way

@sleepinginmygrave your blog theme is absolutely amazing oml. you give off the coolest most poetic vibes <3 like thinking about poetry and looking at rain by candlelight, if that makes sense

@a-beautiful-fool you're actually so fucking cool. i loved talking about poetry and the outsiders and stuff with you :) stay gold, lou <3

@nellysview i think you were one of my first mutuals !! i love your blog and you just seem so genuinely cool <3

@nothing-is-black-and-white you were one of my first mutuals and ilyy <33

@ast3ria-blue you were one of my first ever mutuals and one of the people that got me onto solitaire tumblr :)

@chlorine1 we've been mutuals for awhile and have talked a bit :)) you seem like a really cool person <3

@ava-taylors-version i love your poetry so much, oml <3 when i got poetry through asks from you it was the highlight of my day <33 ily and happy new years :)

@wib-was-here you seem so cool. like you play base and have a snake?? that's fucking awesome. idk you just give off immaculate vibes

@itsbitter we don't interact much but i absolutely adore your blog <3 you're one of those people that just gives off insanely cool vibes, yk?

@stranglingfigs you were one of my first mutuals 6 months ago when i started this blog :)) ily and i love your blog so much. i also really appreciate your use of y'all in your introduction post :)

this is in no particular order and i love you all!! i'm sorry if i forgot some people, i just woke up lmao

[faffreux]

I enjoy to hear about Fawful and Jolligig! I would like to know, when Jolligig writes the letter/memoir to send after Fawful passed away, what particularly would he write about? Are there any memories that you can especially think of? Also, who do you think fell for who first romantically? Or, was it a mutual development that they talked about together? And, why does Jolligig have the orange glasses or is it for fashion? Oh, and, if you are ok with answering (it may be too personal), what does Fawful call you in a dream? Is it Faff or your real name, or since you look like Jolligig in bean mode, does he call you Jolligig? Thanks! And I apologise for my bad English. You can correct it, if you like 😄

Okay, I'll take this one section at a time!!

Jolli's memoir is about the whole of their lives together so it basically covers as much as he can get out - the good, bad, and everything in between! It recounts their dynamic and the ways in which they understood and communicated with one another, contains a bunch of photographs they took over their years together, and also goes into depth about he and Fawful's motivations for doing what they did despite everyone else's disapproval of it all. It's really a very complete work and a labor of love on Jolli's part in the last years of his life. 2. Jolligig fell for Fawful first because he's the more emotional of the two... :] ! But Fawful followed soon after.. they were just both trying to figure out what the heck it was they were feeling and just kind of vibed with it for a while until Fawful finally breaks down and says something HERE! (Remember my old comic?)

3. For Jolli his glasses are both a need and an aesthetic! He needs them to see better but he chose orange lenses specifically because he thought they looked super cool on him (and I have to say I agree, since I went out and got my own similar pair that turn orange in the sunlight!) Makes me feel awesome, ngl.

4. In my dreams I switch between being Jolligig and being my irl human self, so it really depends on the individual dream! But when he does refer to me it's almost always as 'Jolli' or some sweet nickname like "Fawful's Beloved". Either way you spin it, it makes me melt. (BTW, the Italian title of my last drawing translates to that- 'Fawful's beloved!') (special thanks to @albeolambda for the translation!)

PS. Your English is fantastic, so don't worry about it. Thank you for the question!!

[prototypelq]

if i may ask, what's your favorite fictional horsie? (ask inspired by the recent darksiders posting, which btw has some awesome-looking horses :D)

MUTUAL YOU HAVE STEPPED ON A LANDMINE. or more like a pressure plate that is wired to a nuclear landmine under Me.

oh no I am forced to confront my sins over unhinged animal obsessions now, okay

(MAGIC HORSEGIRL TRANSFORMATION SEQUENCE)

sidenote: while writing this I realised that the ask implied any kind of fantasy horse, but I'm now shoulder-deep in gaming horses tangent soooooo lol sorry not sorry. as for fantasy outside of games I really like the idea of Sleipnir, or any other kind of multi-legged horse, Ghost Rider flaming spirit horse is also super cool. Any horse-like creature that is predatory is freakishly awesome. Additional points for adding horns, scales, or swapping hooves for split-fingered/artiodactyl-like legs.

To be honest, I wish this ask was harder to answer than it is, because truth be told, there are very few games with horses. Decent horse animation is even less common than actually good horses, which is another factor that makes me very sad and harder to enjoy these mounts. Additionally, most of the games use horses as... 'car stand-ins' basically, there's very rarely anything uniquely Horse TM about the mounts, and usually they feel like glorified speed booster with questionable animations.

(spoiler: no, rdr2 does not have good horse animation, I have looked with literal scientific lens at thas game, consulted with different horsegirl enthusiasts about it, saw literally every available to public lecture on everything-horse-developed for it, and have concluded that, horse animation is overly complicated with little to-no noticable results, as are most things with that game. more on this later)

I'll obviously be forced to come back to RDR2 topic, but shelf it for now. Here be some of my fav horsies in games, not in any particular order (except RDR2 which will be discussed below).

Darksiders is pretty much a DMC-cousin series but with horses and this makes it so cool. The designers of horses for the Riders of the Apocalypse have gone out of their way to make all the Riders and their mounts look absolutely stunning. Despair looks both awesome and riveting and is my personal fave, Rampage has Mane Magic TM same as his rider Fury, Mayhem looks really cool in that armor, but, of course, Ruin is the posterchild for the series, and rightfully so!

Ruin is built absolutely true to his name. This horse looks like it runs on V8 infernal engine and pisses nuclear monster energy. He has fangs. His hooves scorch the ground underneath. This horse has the muscle mass of a red giant sun about to go supernova. He looks absolutely insane, the only thing you could fear more than this horse in a room is the person who is controlling him. So yes, an extremely fitting mount for War. (Ruin also has awesome mane physics, much appreciated)

Sadly, out of four Darksiders games, there are horse levels only 2 of them - those being the first two games (3 and Genesis are good, Genesis especially, but they both distanced themselves from 'big maps with dungeons' style maps, so horses are not really needed. Genesis has levels you can ride in, but the horses are not really needed in it, still, they are a welcome addition, especially with fans getting the final fourth horse design). Darksiders I and II are very much horsegirlgamer games, as both have Mounted Bossfights, which are BADASS, the Guardian fight in DS2 especially. Both really make you feel like the mythic Rider of the Apocalypse, they are amazing.

Darksiders II also gets an important mention from me for having The Best Trot Animation In Gaming To This Date. The horse trot is fluid, looks very expressive and it's clear Despair slows a lot of this, so it's not his preferred gait for riding, but the main highlight is Death's animation.

Most of the games are lazy with trot, as one of the riding techniques for handling it is just...sitting in the saddle aggressively (I mean it literally, as horse movement on trot is designed to throw you off, so technique number one is basically pushing yourself back into the saddle to counteract this). So the games are usually lazy and just glue the rider to the saddle to show this. However, the second, easier really, way to ride on trot is posting, which is standing up and down in rhythm with the horse's leg movement. Problem with trot is that you need to relearn it for each individual horse, as they all have different builds, leg lengh, breed, etc. With one horse it's easier to stay sitting, with another it would be impossible, but posting will be easy to do, and with some horses you can't do either, so your only hope is holding on until you change speed and gait.

Death's movement in this trot animation is so fluid, so minimal and effortless - it's natural for him. He is in complete harmony with Despair, and the way he posts shows exactly that. 10/10 best trot animation ever, fight me.

Okay so, from a very much deserved highlight, to a not really deserved one - Dragon Age Inquisition. I'll say from the get-go, the mounts in this game suck, they don't even alter your speed of movement! They are completely useless. You could rip a minecraft horse in their place and it would feel better to control, be more useful and have better animation than DAI native mount system. That said, their designs are so cool, Dracolisks especially.

Fun fact, even the game's Horsemaster pretty much throws hands at seeing these things. You know how a normal horse when mean transformes into a 400 kilo beast with immense bite force and body mass that can crush you? Well, dracolisks don't look that heavy, but they also seem to be ready to hunt you for sport and giggles. 10/10 intense factor, they look awesome and as a supposed leader of a world-saving institution you look very impressive while riding them (and frighten 99% of the population). (it's also hilarious to imagine a Maximus-Flynn situation from Tangled between these temperamental beasts and your poor party members or love interest)

Thankfully, most of my mutuals have been acquired pretty recently, meaning, after my Big Horizons Phase xD I really love HZD, and one of the neat things about it is actually horses!

Horizon ZD is the game that has the best controlling horses out of all the games I've played (yes, even rdr2 loses to it for a big reason I will elaborate later on), and the formula of it's success is very fun to look into: it lies in three very important factors: horse brain, player controls and animation, all of which have been solved simply, yet with grace.

HZD has made sure that your chosen mount has it's own pathfinding system, which does not turn off when the player starts riding the creature, so you can, and I almost quote the devs here - you can ride into a patch of woods on high speed, leg go of your controller, and the horse will avoid collision on its own. Isn't it just great when your supposed animal has it's own pathfinding made to simulate brain activity and their feeling of self-preservation. Point two: controls. The most important aspect of HZD mount controls is that - you keep controlling Aloy, the moment she starts riding there is no magical control transition in favour of your mount. There is no 'go forward' button, even pushing the stick forward works only for walk. You keep controlling Aloy, who is now riding on top of a horse-like-machine, so to go faster you press the button for her to kick the horse into next gear. To stop or slow down, you don't use sticks and don't let go of 'go forward button', that will actually do nothing, instead you need to press the button to make Aloy hold the cords of the machine closer. Under the surface, every game's horses are just 'reskined cars', but details like this make the player feel different, make you feel like your controls don't magically transcend to the animal your controlled character is on top of. This detail is small, but it's impact is very big, I assure you. Point three: animation. HZD devs did an awesome animation trick for the running cycle of Aloy and the horses, as those two are the ones players see the most of, and they are the first ones to get repetitive and boring for the player. Basically, animators did three variations of run cycle with different weight distribution (model veers sideways and steers back into weight neutral position), then coded in a system to randomly blend bits of these run animations together. The result is a partially randomised run animation, made out of fleshed-out hand-made ones, so it always looks good, quite diverse, and is not as repetitive. (I wish I remembered the specific talk where devs explained this, but there are so many of them, all fascinating btw, and its been a few years so sorry no source for you)

Two honourable mentions for the games I have not played myself, but they really deserve it when we're talking about horsegirlgames: Zelda BOTW and Shadow of the Colossus. These games have horses right out of every horsegirl's dreams - they are big, their manes long and gorgeous, their run animation so cartoonishly expressive yet graceful, it's mesmerising. Certified horsegamergirl games.

Honestly, it's impossible to not fall in love with them (unless you don't have a platform to run either of these, ahaha, fuck console wars).

And now. Now for the black sheep of my horsegames list. RDR2.

Disclaimer: I have spent way too much time in this game. 'got Zoologist' kind of too much time. While I will be critical, the game is certainly an acquired taste, and there have been enough people singing praises to it and never having the issues I got after putting hundreds of hours into it. I had a great time, which turned very sour after these hundreds of hours. Some players keep loving this game forever, some despise it from the start. Play on your own to formulate a personal opinion and don't defer to any of these camps.

RDR2 is a western movie through and through, and by that I mean that the game is extremely pretty on the outside, but has nothing substantial on the insde. This illusion held for me for long enough, but I was much saddened by peeking behind the curtain, and seeing what I found there. Again, this is a personal issue, it doesn't mean the game is bad or good, but my dissapointement is tied pretty much directly to how the game handles horses, since, y'know, this is supposendly 'the ultimate horsegirl game'.

The sad truth is that RDR2 horses are exactly 'reskinned cars', which is the trap that renders most of gaming horses so so so boring, but the illusion the game creates holds strong for a long while, plus the personification of your horsie (saddle, mane customisation, etc.) actually strenghtens that illusion big time.

I have pointed out what HZD did right for horses to feel so good thoroughly for a reason, said reason is: RDR2 got every point on that list wrong.

Let me show you some examples of RDR2 horse pathfinding.

I chose these two specific clips for a reason - both are prime examples of exactly how lobotomised RDR2 horses are, but in different ways. First clip is user error (besides the fact that no horse could ever run on railways but I digress) - I have been enjoying the scenery too much, and the stick angle proved too much, so me and my beloved horse fell straight to our deaths off the side of that railway. I think it's pretty self-explanatory that irl horses are very self-preservation centered animals, and they don't just fall down random pits. If the RDR2 horses had kept their AI pathfinding running while the player controls them, this simple user error could have been negated - as the pathfinding system would quickly flash a 'don't fucking run into a pit', keep input from registering and the horse would just follow the side of the road without tumbling down. Which, in gamer's eyes would also roleplay as horse having it's own brains. The second example is even weirder - I've been using the 'cinematic mode', which means I put down the controller, and the horse is following the road to my chosen destination on his own, so, y'know, this should be a prime example of horse pathfinding. Wrong again! Granted, that weird woman is some sort of random event, she is not usually there, nor are there barrels, but if the object has a collison parameter it should have been freakin registered and the horse was supposed to jump over it.

So yeah, RDR2 horses are completely lobotomised to any sense of navigation, this has been likely done in favour of more direct player control and easier cinematic setups.

Point two: controls. This one is actually mixed, and I'll start with the good thing for a change. The good thing is RDR2 is literally the only game to allow for lateral movement for mount, in short, this allows you to turn around your horse clockwise while remaining in one place, basically spinning, on trot and gallop too no less! If you try the control inputs for this in any other game, you will end up circling around a set point, and not spinning in place. Which, very cool actually, and yeah the opportunity to do this feels good. Another great detail is Handling stat - which is, how responsive is your horse to your inputs (ex. more or less maneuverable, time to turn after input, how much you mash X to speed up to another gait), which all feel very distinct. Arabians are known for having exquisitely tight handling, you need only to lightly tap the button for them to listen to you, in contrast, work or draft horses will make live for your big thumb a living hell, as they need to be kicked a lot of times to do literally anything. This idea of changing character controls for each horse is very very good, and this I will gladly praise.

On the other hand RDR2 horse controls (dreadfuly). First off - your horse works based on a 'go forward' button mechanic, also the gait change is tied to it, and if you, for some reason, just 'let go' of your 'go forward button' you will after slowing down. I remember seeing a meme where the trigger and the X buttons were duck-taped to be constantly pressed on their own, and I can tell you it's not a joke. You just might need another controller after all the X mashing this game requires you to do. Just for horse controls - you mash X to go faster, you keep pushing X to remain at current speed, and the only time you let go of that button is to either mash it again, or if you want to slow down for a stop.

If you look at HZD controls explanation again, you might see just how damaging this control scheme is to the feel of your horse being an actual animal with their own head and brain, pair this controls madness with nonexistence of pathfinding, and well, RDR2 horses are justt lobotomised to a point of being a 'reskinned car'.

Last point, might be our saving grace here - animation. And, ehhhhhhhhhh, this one's positive but mixed. RDR2 devs did a great job at recognizing how different gait speeds for horses work, as well, gait is just the type of movement horse uses, it is not as strictly tied to speed as you might think. Just as you can hop down the street, or walk down the street at the same speed, trained horses can gallop at practicaly walking speed for shows (this does not work in reverse though - you cannot reach gallop speed while trotting). Game animators did their best to recognise and implement this, so the game is calculating leg movement and is blending animation when the gait-change is happening. However, what I ended up with in game, a lot of the time, is this:

I am not sure what this is caused by, I interpret this as the animation engine shrugging and going for a coffee break. This mistake is not uncommon at all, and there will be a lot of time when you see your horse 'hopping' like this with both front and back legs for a couple of seconds.

Let's just say, this is not how horses run. This is not even how they could run if they want to, or are trained to do this. Horses' entire anatomy revolves around their movement, which is built on a foundational truth that legs move in a set pattern, if that pattern is broken - horse will damage itself.

Again, this is likely just a technical issue, it appears often enough, but unless you know this is an error, you will likely sleep soundely at night. As you can see, I am not one of those people. I did not sleep soundly at night after looking into this. I have also consulted with all my horsegirl friends and a horsekeeping student over this and all of them confirmed this as an error. Still, it is very strange, that a game that bragged it has horse testicle physics down, has this blatant and frequent animation error in it.

Okay, I've thrashed RDR2 quite enough I think, the last bit I wanted to list here is another positive one. Muscle animation and animal sounds is this game are certified clinically insane. All the breathing muscle movement after cantering has been noted and animated to a golden standard, head muscle, snorting, leg muscle, all of these look insanely good. I mean literally insanely good, the animators that worked on this deserve awards.

Also, you could never say no to horse customisation. So, I wanted to wrap this monster of a post with a compilation of my RDR2 pretty horses photomoding.

[fearforthestorm]

Fearforthestorm's Mutuals Bracket, Round 1, Match 15: @griba vs @souplover13!

About the contestants:

Griba: a vote for grian griba is a vote for feminism AND yaoi 💖

Souplover13: I'm so glad you asked this question because oh boy am I awesome! I'm genderqueer, I'm bisexual, I'm aromantic, I'm straight in both directions, I'm a girl, I'm a butch, I use ze/hir and ey/em pronouns, and most importantly, I'm a person who loves to eat soup. I'm adopted. I've been endlessly hyping up this musical my friend wrote (it's called Other Girls, and it's about friendship and bad decisions and it's super awesome) and if you share something cool with me, I will go absolutely bonkers over it. I've got three years of experience debating at national level or higher. I'm weird about religion. I've got too much knowledge of Canadian sketch comedy show Kids in the Hall. I have listened to every Bears in Trees song at least five times. I also love all birds, but most especially ruffed grouse, and know so many guys that no matter the situation, one of them has me covered. I can knit, crochet, do papercraft, bookbind, sew, and whatever else I need to learn to make a prop. I speak English as my native language but also know a significant amount of French and some amount of Swedish and ASL. #VoteSoup2023

[the-ghost-of-bit-the-hand1987]

hai and welcome :0]

my name is: Rex / Quill

i use these pronounz: it/it/its & byte/byte/bytes

im a justa fat boy-girl-animal-thing trying to live in tha world. idk what to tell you. i personally am not a fan of large amounts of (unhelpful) anger and hatred. peace and love on planet earth, okay? 💛

i'll gladly reblog donation/fundraiser/etc. posts, always feel free to ask. very sorry if i dont respond verbally- i promise i see your request and im not ignoring you!

i am very shy and paranoid all the time so please be niceys. okay thank you. i love you

important info & my tags are below this read more!

- 😁 please just be thoughtful and considerate with the things you say and do, even when its regarding shitty people. im so tired. 😁

- I think everyone deserves slack and grace- as you never fully, truly know someones life. I think it is a good idea to grant others the benefit of the doubt and assume no malicious intent, until proven otherwise. I think it is important to be kind, considerate, and understanding. People tend to be foolish, and if you (have the energy to) lend others grace in those foolish moments, then I think you will surely help make the world a more pleasant place.

- if we are mutuals it would make me super duper happy if you would tag sugary foods, as they make me sick just to look at or think about! just a "#sweets" works! if you dont wanna thats okay though, but thank you so muach if you do!! :0] (cupcakes, cakes, cookies, anything with icing or frosting, chocolate, or marshmallows on/in it)

- i try to tag posts for when they use gifs, depictions of death/blood/gore, or ableist language- but i usually refrain from doing so when they are on a donation post or something similar, as to not hinder the reach of the post. If you frequently reblog posts with/use ableist terms like "moron" or "stupid", or frequently make assumptions about peoples experiences/intentions/abilities then I am likely to unfollow/block you. I am not a fan of any generalizations, especially not ableist ones 😁👍

- i personally believe that gender is next to pointless, and hope one day that it will be treated as such. the only real thing about gender is the awful way it affects people. genders arent actually definable, theyre entirely made-up. "masculine" and "feminine" are not real things and do not ever use those words around me or i will have to send 14 locked and loaded chickens to your location.

my tags:

#hashtag awesome - (usually) for cool art

#hashtag beautiful - (usually) pictures/art of people

#hashtag fav - my favorite posts

#hashtag ultra fav - my favorite posts (cooler version)

#hashtag beastly angels worthy of worship - posts containing transmission towers

#hashtag freddiez favorite wordz - poetry, stories, words, etc.

#hashtag cool ass clothes - i want these clothes they look cool

#hashtag yimyum - things i want to eat/chew on

#hashtag need this - i need this item

#hashtag real - posts i look at and go "omg so real/true"

#crying crying crying - many variants of this tag, just basically means this made me tear up or made me extremely emotional

#hashtag squaking - thats me baby!

if you need something tagged let me know :0]