#especially since most 'criticism' I see in these cases is personal taste framed as objective truth

[pyreflydust]

Thinking again about how much happier people would be if they would accept that adaptations are adaptations and don't ruin the original and differences in characterization can easily be explained by the fact they're telling a different story and, if you want an in-universe explanation, it's a completely different reality.

[thelonguepuree]

Dickinson’s “items” have been successively and carefully framed to give the impression that something, or someone, is missing. While the recovery of Dickinson’s manuscripts may be supposed to have depended on the death of the subject, on the person who had, by accident or design, composed the scene, the repeated belated “discovery” that her work is yet in need of sorting (and of reading) may also depend upon the absence of the objects that composed it. These objects themselves mark not only the absence of the person who touched them but the presence of what touched that person: of the stationer that made the paper, of the manufacturer and printer and corporation that issued guarantees and advertisements and of the money that changed hands, of the butcher who wrapped the parcel, of the manuals and primers and copybooks that composed individual literacy, of the expanding postal service, of the modern railroad, of modern journalism, of the nineteenth-century taste for continental literary imports. All of these things are the sorts of things left out of a book, since the stories to be told about them open out away from [a] narrative of individual creation or individual reception … This is to say that what is so often said of the grammatical and rhetorical structure of Dickinson’s poems—that, as critics have variously put it, the poetry is “sceneless,” is “a set of riddles” revolving around an “omitted center,” is a poetry of “revoked . . . referentiality”—can more aptly be said of the representation of the poems as such. Once gathered as the previously ungathered, reclaimed as the abandoned, given the recognition they so long awaited, the poems in bound volumes appear both redeemed and revoked from their scenes or referents, from the history that the book, as book, omits. … The argument of Dickinson’s Misery is that the century and a half that spans the circulation of Dickinson’s work as poetry chronicles rather exactly the emergence of the lyric genre as a modern mode of literary interpretation. To put briefly what I will unfold at length in the pages that follow: from the mid-nineteenth through the beginning of the twenty-first century, to be lyric is to be read as lyric—and to be read as a lyric is to be printed and framed as a lyric. While it is beyond the scope of this book to trace the lyricization of poetry that began in the eighteenth century, the exemplary story of the composition, recovery, and publication of Dickinson’s writing begins one chapter, at least, in what is so far a largely unwritten history. As we have already begun to see, Dickinson’s enduring role in that history depends on the ephemeral quality of the texts she left behind. By a modern lyric logic that will become familiar in the pages that follow, the (only) apparently contextless or sceneless, even evanescent nature of Dickinson’s writing attracted an increasingly professionalized attempt to secure and contextualize it as a certain kind (or genre) of literature—as what we might call, after Charles Taylor, a lyric social imaginary. Think of the modern imaginary construction of the lyric as what allows the term to move from adjectival to nominal status and back again. Whereas other poetic genres (epic, poems on affairs of state, georgic, pastoral, verse epistle, epitaph, elegy, satire) may remain embedded in specific historical occasions or narratives, and thus depend upon some description of those occasions and narratives for their interpretation (it is hard to understand “The Dunciad,” for example, if one does not know the characters involved or have access to lots of handy footnotes), the poetry that comes to be understood as lyric after the eighteenth century is thought to require as its context only the occasion of its reading. This is not to say that there were not ancient Greek and Roman, Anglo-Saxon, medieval, Provençal, Renaissance, metaphysical, Colonial, Republican, Augustan—even romantic and modern!—lyrics. It is simply to propose that the riddles, papyrae, epigrams, songs, sonnets, blasons, Lieder, elegies, dialogues, conceits, ballads, hymns and odes considered lyrical in the Western tradition before the early nineteenth century were lyric in a very different sense than was or will be the poetry that the mediating hands of editors, reviewers, critics, teachers, and poets have rendered as lyric in the last century and a half. As my syntax indicates, that shift in genre definition is primarily a shift in temporality; as variously mimetic poetic subgenres collapsed into the expressive romantic lyric of the nineteenth century, the various modes of poetic circulation—scrolls, manuscript books, song cycles, miscellanies, broadsides, hornbooks, libretti, quartos, chapbooks, recitation manuals, annuals, gift books, newspapers, anthologies—tended to disappear behind an idealized scene of reading progressively identified with an idealized moment of expression. While other modes—dramatic genres, the essay, the novel—may have been seen to be historically contingent, the lyric emerged as the one genre indisputably literary and independent of social contingency, perhaps not intended for public reading at all. By the early nineteenth century, poetry had never before been so dependent on the mediating hands of the editors and reviewers who managed the print public sphere, yet in this period an idea of the lyric as ideally unmediated by those hands or those readers began to emerge and is still very much with us. Susan Stewart has dubbed the late eighteenth century’s highly mediated manufacture of the illusion of unmediated genres a case of “distressed genres,” or “new antiques.” Her terms allude to modern print culture’s attempts “to author a context as well as an artifact,” and thus to imitate older forms—such as the epic, the fable, the proverb, the ballad—while creating the impression that our access to those forms is as immediate as it was in the imaginary modern versions of oral and collective culture to which those forms originally belonged. Stewart does not include the lyric as a “distressed genre,” but her suggestion that old genres were made in new ways could be extended to include the idea that the lyric is— or was—a genre in the first place. As Gérard Genette has argued, “the relatively recent theory of the ‘three major genres’ not only lays claim to ancientness, and thus to an appearance or presumption of being eternal and therefore self-evident,” but is itself the effect of “projecting onto the founding text of classical poetics a fundamental tenet of ‘modern’ poetics (which actually . . . means romantic poetics).” Yet even if the lyric (especially in its broadly defined difference from narrative and drama) is a larger version of the new antique, a retroprojection of modernity, a new concept artificially treated to appear old, the fact that it is a figment of modern poetics does not prevent it from becoming a creature of modern poetry. The interesting part of the story lies in the twists and turns of the plot through which the lyric imaginary takes historical form. But what plot is that? My argument here is that the lyric takes form through the development of reading practices in the nineteenth and twentieth centuries that become the practice of literary criticism. As Mark Jeffreys eloquently describes the process I am calling lyricization, “lyric did not conquer poetry: poetry was reduced to lyric. Lyric became the dominant form of poetry only as poetry’s authority was reduced to the cramped margins of culture.” This is to say that the notion of lyric enlarged in direct proportion to the diminution of the varieties of poetry—or at least that became the ratio as the idea of the lyric was itself produced by a critical culture that imagined itself on the definitive margins of culture. Thus by the early twenty-first century it became possible for Mary Poovey to describe “the lyricization of literary criticism” as the dependence of all postromantic professional literary reading on “the genre of the romantic lyric.” The conceptual problem is that if the lyric is the creation of print and critical mediation, and if that creation then produces the very versions of interpretive mediation that in turn produce it, any attempt to trace the historical situation of the lyric will end in tautology. Or that might be the critical predicament if the retrospective definition and inflation of the lyric were either as historically linear or as hermeneutically circular as much recent criticism, whether historicist or formalist, would lead us to believe. What has been left out of most thinking about the process of lyricization is that it is an uneven series of negotiations of many different forms of circulation and address. To take one prominent example, the preface to Thomas Percy’s Reliques of Ancient English Poetry (1765) describes the “ancient foliums in the Editor’s possession,” claims to have subjected the excerpts from these manuscripts to the judgment of “several learned and ingenious friends” as well as to the approval of “the author of The Rambler and the late Mr. Shenstone,” and concludes that “the names of so many men of learning and character the Editor hopes will serve as amulet, to guard him from every unfavourable censure for having bestowed any attention on a parcel of Old Ballads.” Not only does Percy not claim that historical genres of verse are directly addressed to contemporary readers (and each of his “relics” is prefaced by a historical sketch and description of its manuscript context in order to emphasize the excerpt’s distance from the reader), but he also acknowledges the role of the critical climate to which the poems in his edition were addressed. Yet by 1833, John Stuart Mill, in what has become the most influentially misread essay in the history of Anglo-American poetics, could write that “the peculiarity of poetry appears to us to lie in the poet’s utter unconsciousness of a listener. Poetry is feeling confessing itself to itself, in moments of solitude.” As Anne Janowitz has written, “in Mill’s theory . . . the social setting is benignly severed from poetic intentions.” What happened between 1765 and 1833 was not that editors and printers and critics lost influence over how poetry was presented to the public; on the contrary, as Matthew Rowlinson has remarked, in the nineteenth century “lyric appears as a genre newly totalized in print.” And it is also not true that the social setting of the lyric is less important in the nineteenth than it was in the eighteenth century. On the contrary, because of the explosion of popular print, by the early nineteenth century in England, as Stuart Curran has put it, “the most eccentric feature of [the] entire culture [was] that it was simply mad for poetry”—and as Janowitz has trenchantly argued, such madness extended from the public poetry of the eighteenth century through an enormously popular range of individualist, socialist, and variously political and personal poems. In nineteenth-century U.S. culture, the circulation of many poetic genres in newspapers and the popular press and the crucial significance of political and public poetry to the culture as a whole is yet to be appreciated in later criticism (or, if it is, it is likely to be given as the reason that so little enduring poetry was produced in the United States in the nineteenth century, with the routine exception of Whitman and Dickinson, who are also routinely mischaracterized as unrecognized by their own century). At the risk of making a long story short, it is fair to say that the progressive idealization of what was a much livelier, more explicitly mediated, historically contingent and public context for many varieties of poetry had culminated by the middle of the twentieth century (around the time Dickinson began to be published in “complete” editions) in an idea of the lyric as temporally self-present or unmediated. This is the idea aptly expressed in the first edition of Brooks and Warren’s Understanding Poetry in 1938: “classifications such as ‘lyrics of meditation,’ and ‘religious lyrics,’ and ‘poems of patriotism,’ or ‘the sonnet,’ ‘the Ode,’ ‘the song,’ etc.” are, according to the editors, “arbitrary and irrational classifications” that should give way to a present-tense presentation of “poetry as a thing in itself worthy of study.” Not accidentally, as we shall see, the shift in definition accompanied the migration of lyric from the popular press to the classroom—but for now we should note that by the time that Emily Dickinson’s poetry became available in scholarly editions and university anthologies, the history of various genres of poetry was read as simply lyric, and lyrics were read as poems one could understand without reference to that history or those genres.

Virginia Jackson, Dickinson’s Misery: A Theory of Lyric Reading (2005)

[fyompi]

Remembering Final Fantasy X-2

It’s hard to assess whether to call X-2 “good,” but if I did, I wouldn’t mean “good” in the most traditional sense. The game is an unnecessary sequel to one of the best Japanese role-playing games ever made, and turns a somber, existential, occultist storyline into an upbeat comedy. 

What’s weird is that I don’t dislike this at all. Final Fantasy games have always been funny, and have arguably relied more on their world building than actual plot. They’re visually super interesting. Their character and monster designs are discussed more now than anything that actually happens in them. 

Maybe somebody from Enix realized this, for better or worse. There’s nothing about the structure and framework of the Final Fantasy series that limits them to being strictly dramas. Recognizing that fact made the existence of a comedy entry sort of an inevitability. 

Final Fantasy X-2 is effectively a magical girl anime. A genre of anime that is notably, and characteristically created for girls. Transformation sequences, in which a teenage female character changes outfits from regular surface-level Earthling attire, to a vibrant and glittery superhero popstar, is a mainstay in the genre. Usually, these shows were divided into two segments: one depicting the main character’s day-to-day “normal” life, like a regular sitcom, and then later changing into an action fantasy show for like five minutes. The bulk of the shows had little to do with the fighting, and more to do with the lives of the characters. Over many seasons, you see this character grow up, make friends, go on dates, have her heart broken, and sometimes even have kids. It makes the serious aspects of the show feel heavier, once you’ve gotten to know this person. 

I love these shows. Sailor Moon is one of the best looking animated television shows ever made. Every frame is a work of art, and every person I know who grew up enjoying it has amazing fashion sense today. 

Taking the already pretty flamboyant, and visually-unorthodox world of Final Fantasy, and turning into a magical girl anime makes a ton of sense, despite it being in the same world as something so drastically different. Tidus, the main character from Final Fantasy X, was already modeled after a real world Japanese pop star from the nineties, and Tetsuya Nomura’s fashion sense might be the most striking aspect of the series. It’s a series dripping in glitzy, futuristic visual design. The influence these games have had on my personal taste in art can’t be understated. 

I would even go as far as to say, watching my cousins play Final Fantasy X-2 is the most critical reason I have any interest in fashion today. Which might be hard to imagine for some, given how incredible gauche some of the outfits can be in this game. But to me, playing these games with other people felt like watching the Met Gala; you bicker with your friends at the sight of every new outfit, whether it’s beautiful or horrendous, and slowly the line dividing the two begins to fade into abstraction. That’s how I felt looking at all the different outfits in Final Fantasy X-2 as a child. I understood why fashion is fun, and realized that girls my age were smarter than I was giving them credit for. 

Like a year later, I went to my friend’s birthday party and met his older cousins who were also into Final Fantasy, and I told them that Final Fantasy X-2 was my favorite game in the series.  They all proceeded to yell at me for ten straight minutes about how awful it was. I didn’t tell them that I had never actually played the game, only looked at it, and decided that it was my favorite thing to look at. I remember very vividly, one of them was wearing smokey eyeliner, and I really liked looking at him too. Something about his eyeliner made me think he’d appreciate X-2 more than he did, and I was disappointed when he complained about the lack of plot, and how it “ruined” his favorite entry in the series. I didn’t tell them that I liked the game because of the outfits because I was too embarrassed to, so instead I told them the battle system was really good, which I had heard was the case, from people who’d actually played it. One nodded and said “yeah, that battle system is pretty freaking good. You ever played  F. F. 2 though?” 

“No.” “2’s got an even better battle system. If you like that kinda stuff you gotta play that game.”

He meant Final Fantasy 4, released in America as Final Fantasy 2. I was a senior in high school when I realized that’s what he meant. When he had told me though, I didn’t want to play either, because those games weren’t three-dimensional, and they didn’t have voice acting, and they didn’t have cute outfits like X-2 did. 

My appreciation for the series wasn’t as “deep” as theirs but the world captured me just the same. That same year, I had played Kingdom Hearts 2, and then Kingdom Hearts 1, and decided Kingdom Hearts 2 was the better game because you got to play as Roxas, who has objectively better hair than Sora. I played on Easy, and never equipped any items or abilities to my character because I didn’t like looking at the menus, and didn’t like reading tutorials. I just wanted to see the world, I didn’t really care about what was really going on in it. It was absolutely impossible, playing it this way. 

I couldn’t relate when the boys at the party were bragging about beating Kingdom Hearts 1 on level 1, or beating Riku first-try, or playing through the Japanese-exclusive Kingdom Hearts 2: Final Mix, because it had a “critical mode” which was harder than the hardest difficulty in the American release of the game. All of this was really strange to me, and I felt really stupid that I couldn’t ever imagine being that good at a videogame. That was also the first moment it occurred to me that calling a game I’ve never played “my favorite game” was sorta fraud-behavior. They lived in these games, and I was a tourist. I realized that most of the people who played, and enjoyed Final Fantasy X enough to both complete it, and buy it’s sequel, are people like them. The game did not cater to these people. They later took me to their computer desk and had me watch five back-to-back episodes of Red vs. Blue on youtube. I couldn’t follow any of what was going on in any episode. 

Eventually, I got around to playing Final Fantasy X-2, and the battle system was as good as everybody told me it would be. It’s too good. It’s sometimes so good, that I forget how shallow the rest of the game is. It’s so good that it makes me hate how little the game focuses on it. 

A simple RPG with a tight battle system, and little story, is fine by me. Dragon Quest games are incredibly straightforward, in the best way possible. The substance of the battles, and the quaintness of the adventure, makes every game incredibly charming. Final Fantasy X-2 unfortunately, tries to add substance where there is none, by forcing the player to complete very boring mini-games after every story advancement. This is the director’s way of constantly reminding the player of the upbeat, and non-serious tone of the game. But instead, these sequences are wastes of time, that feel like distractions, from the empty storyline. They’re also so difficult to watch in 2019.

I don’t need to be distracted though, because I don’t mind a jrpg that isn’t an epic. I just want a game that’s about something. If the gameplay was only traversing the world, and honing the battle system, that would be enough for me. But instead, it becomes clear to me early on that the team didn’t know who to cater to. The primary audience for magical girl anime might be turned off by the blatant objectification of the three main characters, and the primarily male audience of Final Fantasy don’t seem to want an electric popist sitcom to be their non-plot. 

On top of that, the voice acting is a lot worse than I remember, and the Playstation 2 doesn’t really have the hardware to adequately depict X-2’s nautical sci-fi fashion, except in fully CGI cutscenes, which are incredibly rare in this game. And in the few CGI cutscenes that do exist, the directors get to choose what outfits the characters are in, which aren’t the outfits I would ever choose, because they aren’t the Black Mage outfits. The outfits they wear in the box-art are the outfits they wear in every CGI cutscene. Every other outfit is limited to the blocky in-game models. I can’t even find high definition concept art of these outfits. It’s a shame, because some of them are amazing. 

On top of that, I don’t actually get to know these characters well. The character progression, which made X amazing, and made shows like Sailor Moon substantive, isn’t there. For all the bells and whistles they put in the game, nothing actually matters. Yuna is upbeat and cute, Rikku is young and adhd, and Paine is goth. That’s really it, for the whole game. The script is very rarely funny enough to get away with such shallow characters. It loses its charm incredibly quickly. 

That depleting likability is a big issue when the game’s substance comes in its side quests. This game is a nightmare to 100% complete, and since the primary collectibles are the outfits, the game really makes you feel like a loser when you miss anything. The most interesting part of the game is hidden behind the worst parts, and made me realize how privileged I was to have my cousin do all that for me, and let me see the good parts. 

So, I begrudgingly understand, and agree with the criticism, of a game so tailor-made to my specific taste. I wish I could recommend it to people, but I don’t know anybody with the attention span required to make this game worthwhile. What’s especially sad is the fact that, if this game were a lot better, it might have successfully opened the creative gates of Final Fantasy games to their audience. To this day, Americans still seem to think that a jrpg’s quality is defined by the plot alone. There’s so much more going on with the genre, that can be attributed to many different types of experiences, and unfortunately, Final Fantasy X-2 is far from an adequate example of this. 

[billy-batson]

an anon asked a while back if i could write an essay explaining why i hate karen and kastle and me, being me, saved it in my asks until i could further explain to full capacity. my response?

absolutely. i’ve had this ask in my inbox for quite a few weeks, since before the release of the punisher. in order for people to understand my view points and beliefs, we must take off any shipping goggles we might have and view it from a fairly objective view point. (i’ve also added my own gifs to this because eh, why not?) also, this got quite long so under a cut it goes. also, it sort of gets messy but bear with me. (word count: 2.5k)

we’ll first begin with miss karen page. first introduced as a girl being framed for a murder she did not commit; a fresh breath of air, of sorts, in a show focusing mainly on foggy and matt, two men. as the first season moves on, we see that she’s interested in discovering more about union allied, who attempted to frame her, and that eventually leads her to ben urich, a reporter who, in his heyday, followed thrilling and intense cases and wrote groundbreaking articles. now, though, since he’s aged and has more concern for his life and job--which he needs to support his dying wife while she’s in the hospital--he writes whatever his editor wants him to. he’s fine with this. in fact, he’s comfortable with this.

the issue, though? karen essentially pushes him back into this type of work, bringing him into her hunt on union allied which he explicitly stated, multiple times, that he did not wish to do. he knows how this will likely end--he even tells her as much, reminding her that he’s old now, and he’s “a lot less stupid”. while we can’t entirely fault her for coercing him into working with her, since he is a grown man and he can make his own decisions, she was the cause of the events that led up to, and caused, his death. yes, a white woman caused a black man’s death. unsurprising news when you’re black.

after his death, though? karen--who holds absolutely no relation to him--gets the ownership of his car, which could have gone towards paying his wife’s hospital bills, and his job, despite having absolutely no credentials or prior experience. that is a fine example of white privilege. never worked or trained a day in that work, ever, and yet she gets his job. i know this isn’t real life, but it’s a piece of realistic fiction. it should be realistic---which, i guess, it is, since the only way someone with no credentials or experience in journalism is going to get a job is if they’re white. also, this is marvel netflix’s first example of violently murdering a black person in their series (which they do in every one of their series), so that leaves a foul taste in my mouth, as a black person.

and next came the, what i like to call “weirdly random ooc #female badassness! wannabe episode”, aka the episode where she kills wesley, stating that she’s fired a gun before and insinuated that she’s killed before. not only does she get off scot free for this (which, by the way, never would have happened unless she was white), but it’s also never mentioned ever again. it was a needless act that was ludicrous in execution and inserting into the narrative. it was just a way to say “look! our blonde haired beauty is a badass haha :)”

season two comes along, and it’s shown that she’s digging up information about the punisher while also going on dates with matt. eventually, though, she meets frank for who he is and this is what i call the sort of beginning of manipulation, at least for her, but i’ll be getting more into depth about this later. in the last few episodes, she gives frank an ultimatum -- stop being the punisher, or she’ll walk away. you’ll recall that in the defenders, she also gave matt the same ultimatum, which is a form of manipulation and underlying abuse. karen can not accept that these mens’ alter egos is who they are inside, and that causes for her to make them choose between her and doing what they want to do. having experienced such abuse from the hands of ex friends in the past, it sealed the deal for my disdain for her.

the main thing i dislike about karen is how she’s written in a way where it’s as if she can do no wrong. and fandom’s behavior definitely perpetuates that. she’s seen as a “#perfect cinnamon roll” or a “#goddess” or a saint or whatever fandom is referring to her as. she truly is not all that, yet the writers tend to portray her as such. (needless to say that in the comics, she sold matt’s identity as daredevil for drugs, but that’s beside the point.) she does not deserve to be held to such a high pedestal, and fandom, specifically certain individuals in the fandom, should not hate people who point out valid criticism of her because they can’t see it from any perspective that isn’t their own.

on that note, fandom is a large part of my hatred for characters or ships. fandom never knows how to be normal and they either detest you for not liking their favorite character / ship, or don’t listen to you at all.

when it comes to kastle, though, things are more simple to explain. (as of writing, i am currently on the third episode of the punisher and going slowly through it for obvious reasons.) the entire reason frank does what he does, is because of the death of his family. of his children, of his wife. he relives that all throughout season two of daredevil despite claiming to not have ptsd, and we see it even more intensely in the punisher. he thinks of his wife and children every day, without fail--often times its the first thing he thinks of, and the last thing he thinks of. even a year to two years after their death, the wound is still raw and he is very much not over it.

so why, pray tell, is the ship kastle a thing? he is not, in anyway capable of having or maintaining a healthy relationship as of right now--nor might he ever. the fact that people could excuse this obviously damaged man’s feelings just to ship him with fandom’s white fave, thinly veiled self insert character is saddening and bordering on disgusting. he hasnt even had the chance to heal or breathe and everyone’s already shipping him with her?

matt said that karen deserves better than him. “better than [matt]” does not equal “you should date frank”. frank, himself, says that karen is in love with matt. he compares that love to him and his wife, who he’s not over. karen understands this and accepts this -- she is in love with matt, just as frank is in love with maria, still.

his love for maria is further solidified in the first episode of the punisher, when he repeatedly relives good moments that he had with maria and reminisces on the things that he loved about her through his memories. he, in every way, needs healing. what he does not need is a relationship. that would be one of the last things that he needs, especially after going through all that he has. the death and loss of his family was one of the most traumatic things he’s experienced, to the point that he takes it upon himself to track every single person connected to their murder and kill them, even going so far as juarez, mexico, to do so. six months after that is not enough time for the emotional stability that frank needs before a relationship with anyone could even be considered.

after frank kills schoonover, karen is visibly upset.

she didn’t want him to kill someone, and she even goes so far as to tell him that he can’t keep doing what he’s doing, otherwise, they’re through, and she’s walking. (to which he obviously keeps doing what he’s doing and doesn’t look back as he leaves her in the woods.)

going back a bit, in episode ten, after his escape, she’s afraid of him to the point that she draws a gun on him.

(needless to say the scene right after this is everyone’s beloved #zomg kastle!! scene. everyone seems to ignore what happened right before that scene though. hm. wonder why.)

does that even seem like a good relationship build up? he makes her cry out of a fear for him, she gives him an ultimatum, manipulating him, she pulls a gun on him and absolutely can kill him, as seen since she’s murdered wesley and has apparently done so before in the past. he has no reason to believe that she won’t pull that trigger, and the audience, aside from knowing that the punisher is too iconic of a character to kill off, has no reason to believe that she won’t pull that trigger. why not? she’s done it before on screen, and she showed us what she’s capable of doing.

she doesn’t get the chance to because her apartment is shot up and frank, the good person that he is, ducks down and protects her. because he’s a good person, and she’s someone he can consider, at this point, to be a sort of “friend”. (i’m like, 90% sure none of you guys have ever had any good things happen to you from good people or that yall have friends and cant tell the difference between friendship love and romantic love, since yall ship this, but i rest my case.)

a fun scene i saw pop up in the anti kastle tag -- a post written by a shipper -- was the scene in the punisher where someone refers to karen as “his girlfriend, and takes that as a sign. please, i know we all know better than this. people tease people all the time when it comes to friends, especially attractive ones, typically those of the opposite gender. i can’t list the number of times that one of my childhood friends was called “my boyfriend” by my family or i was called “his girlfriend” by his. it would be completely ludicrous to presume that that sort of comment meant anything other than a jest or a poke at frank’s expense. that’s what friends are like, that’s a universal experience for most people who have friends. it does not hint towards that ship or somehow verify it. thats not what the comment was. by thinking it verifies the ship in some way, you’re all effectively making a mountain out of...dust.

finally, let’s talk about fandom’s need to show their ass when it comes to their ableism. frank castle has ptsd, albeit he is in denial of such a fact. fandom often writes fics and headcanons that if kastle was canon, karen could “fix” frank of his ptsd and “make the pain go away”. for one thing, ptsd does not go away. it doesn’t. being with someone does not make it go away. i know fandom likes to see karen as a saint or an angel or a goddess, but she’s human. even if kastle were to happen, the ptsd would still be there. frank isnt going to magically be “cured” because he’s dating karen page. the fact that this is such a common fandom headcanon is ableist in and of itself. as an abuse survivor still living in an abusive situation, fandom needs to understand that ptsd does not go away. it can be lessened, yes, but it does not go away. an event such as watching your entire family get slaughtered before your very eyes does not go away, especially when said person repeatedly has flash backs of said event. you cannot expect it to. this is part of the reason why the fandom, itself, sickens me.

also, there are volatile tendencies on both sides. as karen isn’t the sole person to blame for why this ship borders on toxicity (almost as bad as the fandom); frank is, as well. due to his volatile nature, and her stubborn and subtle manipulations, as well as the fact that neither of them, specifically frank, are in a position to be in a relationship with anyone (karen as well, considering matt, who she canonically loves, has just appeared to die), makes this ship unable to work. it cannot work and it does not work despite fandom’s perpetual pleas to make it work, likely due to the fact that karen is the self insert character for women all across the fandom, typically and most often, from what i’ve seen, the white women. (needless to say that comics canon karen is so vastly different from show karen that she might as well be a self insert oc at this point.) these are the same white women who will likely regard this as “misogyny” and label it as just “another hater hating”. that is not what i am, but if thats your prerogative, to demonize a black woman for pointing out valid criticisms and flaws found in the beloved ship and the white woman, thats not my problem.

so, in conclusion, why do i hate karen? mainly due to the fact that her white privilege gets her a job, a car of a dead man with a dying wife, who’s dead as a result of her actions, and, of course, fandom and their constant push to make her a savior of some kind, here to “fix” frank. why do i hate kastle? because of fandom’s desire to show their ableism in wanting karen to “fix” frank of his ptsd and thinking that a relationship with the woman who gave him an ultimatum and manipulated him in order to act the way that she wanted him to is anywhere near “romantic”. volatile relationships built on past fear of the other and aiming a gun at the other is not a good foundation for any ship. since their meeting, they were known as being in love with other people, and they are currently in a space where they believe their loves are dead. why would someone’s first reaction be to ship them with each other? why would someone’s first reaction be to ship the man who regularly has nightmares and panic attacks about the death of his family and his wife with someone else when he is obviously still in mourning? why would someone’s first reaction be to ship the woman who was crying, sobbing as she attempted to keep him from doing what he wanted to, who was so afraid of him to the point that she held him at gunpoint? where does any of this set the foundations of a good ship?

and why would one ship it?

[adatedreference]

On the Creation Club and Boycott

So I just made this (rather long) post to make arguments against the Creation Club to someone on r/Fallout and I felt it should be shared here too. I’ve done some minor editing to make it less direct but anyways, here goes:

I know there are people who rather foolishly moan and complain about DLCs and increased base-game costs but those gripes are mostly foolish; a game can be a Complete Experience and still have room for DLC to add things and increased development costs are a real thing hat effects Devs. But those aren’t the issues that effect the Creation Club, as much as people like to bring them up as a response to the criticism against it... and unfortunately as much as some people against the Creation Club bring up just the idea of DLC in general as an in issue with the Creation Club. But here are some of the many real, critical issues with Bethesda’s Creation Club:

The Creation Club is Bethesda leveraging the passion and effort of the Community for its profits and its benefits with almost no benefit coming back to us. Mods keep the Game alive and kicking for years after its Market Expiration because people can keep coming back to get some new content they'd always hoped for — usually for free, sometimes with the option to contribute specifically to the creators of the content. Bethesda is taking the fact that the Community undertakes these projects of passion to squeeze more money out of the players for things that would all but certainly be made anyways.

Pricing. The Creation Club is priced very wrong. See I really want the faction paint jobs for the weapons, especially the Minutemen ones because I'm a Settlement (Over)Builder and the Minutemen are the epitome of that. Let's say I determine that I would spend money on this mod? Well it's not worth its current cost ($1.33) to me, it's worth maybe $0.25, $0.50 at most but that's not at all what they're asking. I'm not miserly about spending money on these kinds of things, look at General Dave's Wasteland Walls; I quite like Evil Viking and when he announced the project, I decided I should start start putting my money behind what he does and have given him $5/month ever since. Name an appropriate price or ask me the right way and I will pay, ask too much of me and you lose a potential customer.

The Creation Club is not the product we were sold. When they talked about the Creation Club their marketing campaign painted great, vast swathes of content made at a quality just below the studio's own and more ambitious than most mods normally could be. The Creation Club can't facilitate files that large, hell Better Breezehome for Skyrim — which is a phenomenal mod despite being fairly small — is either too big or at the very upper bounds of what they could manage. They sold a product that promised things like Beyond Skyrim Bruma but in reality can only deliver us Better Blade of Woe — Better Blade of Woe is nice but if you're going to make me choose one, well I can deal with a named Orcish Dagger thank you.

Its implementation. Do you know anything about how Creation Club files are downloaded? If you do, me mentioning it should make you cringe, if you don't (or you're someone reading this argument who doesn't because I'm not just framing this discussion for the person it's directly a response to) well... I have some shitty news for you. So the way it works is that Bethesda downloads all the files with every upload and then just puts up a pay-wall for the content in your game. For some that might not seem terrible at first glance but look at it another way: Content you may not want, that you might protest/detest, that you may never elect to pay for will take up space on your SSD/HDD no matter your objections for as long as you decide to keep the game installed.

The Mods are coming out in a way that is very different than what most of us long-term Modded Gamers are use to and, I would argue, certainly not for the better. Creation Club mods hit the CC when they are finished and bug free. Cool. Now what makes that substantially different and worse than Classic Mods from the nexus? Well looking again at the Faction Weapon Paint Jobs — because I want this mod and so I'm going to pound on this drum til the skin tears — on the CC at release it is and will only ever be 10 weapons. On the Nexus it would probably launch at about 5 Skins and then over the course of a couple of months to a year it would expand to cover all but a few of the more unique weapons from Vanilla (like the Broadsider). It would also likely be quite modular, with editions to include paints for Various DLC weapons, and maybe an extra version that turns down the goddamn American Flags down to a 5 from their current 11, since the Commonwealth isn't the Full USA. And that would all be one single mod. Now look at how sad the CC version looks. Sure it has no bugs but it's also lacking in character or growth, restricted utterly for no reason except to fit into Bethesda's store set up.

It, Bethesda.net and the various fiascos following Bethesda's efforts to both monetize Modding and force its adoption for Consoles (Mods should be on Consoles they (that's Bethesda and Console Devs in general) need to improve the infrastructure for the Mods) are SEVERELY damaging the Modding Community. Look at DDProductions83, FO4's NIF-Messiah; love him or hate him personally, as I understand his personality was not exactly universally acclaimed, he made absolutely amazing mods at an incredible rate even when the tools available to us were middling-at-best. He left the Community because of some of the shady and shitty practices going on in the early days of the Bethesda.net Mods and I mourn that loss deeply. Another example is 5Like, his amazing mod 'Thematic and Practical' is one of the most amazing, if simple, mods ever added to FO4 and was likely to grow even better... and all the baggage tied to the Creation Club left such a bad taste in his mouth that he washed his hands of the project and declared it dead. How much better off would the modding community for Fallout be with those two still working and impassioned over these hobbies of there's? How much, comparatively, have we really gained with such inspired mods as Camo-patterned Pip Boys and Hot Rod Flame paint guns?... You can guess which I'd choose.

So yeah, that's why I personally boycott the CC. I would love to hear rebuttals or things I may not have considered but honestly, This is how I see Bethesda in 2016, licking their lips at the idea of Paid Mods and fittingly this is where I see them by next Summer. Maybe there's a side of this I don't see, and if you think that's the case please make your case — a new perspective on a troubling issue is always welcome. But until something changes, be it my views or their practices, I really want Bethesda to crash-and-burn a bit on this venture — not enough to damage them long term and jeopardize some of my favourite IPs in existence but enough to dissuade them.

[romanticatheart-posts]

Trust

This story spans over two days: The day before and the day of the wedding. Some of it is from Liam's perspective but it all comes together at the end. It's a bit long but I hope you enjoy it! Feel free to re-blog or comment. I appreciate constructive criticism or suggestions. Thanks for reading!

Pairings: Liam x MC (Catherine)

Warnings: NSFW Disclaimer: Pixelberry owns all characters.

Master List 

Trust definition - A firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability or strength of someone or something. 

That is not a word most of us think about in our daily lives but to one, it is particularly important. To him, it is the very foundation of life… his. 

For Liam, trust was not absolute. It was more of a principle by which he used to decipher the intentions and motives of those around him. And unbeknownst to him at the time, would later prove to be his salvation. Being born and raised a prince, he was exposed to many underhanded, corrupt and downright malicious people. He learned at an early age that life as a royal was challenging at best, especially when choosing friends. He was introduced to many noble children as a youngster and it was expected they would be included in his circle, but to Liam, most were just as pretentious and insecure as the adults who were raising them.

The Wedding Day

At the palace --

Liam sits at his desk reading the morning newspaper with coffee in hand. This was not his usual routine since being crowned the king, but this was not a typical morning by any means. His thoughts drift back to a time in life that helped in shaping his future… 

He was particularly close to his brother, but they certainly had their fair share of conflicts too. There was often tension between them, especially when Leo’s boisterous personality was at a specific peak. But Liam learned to overcome his own submission against this overactive display of brotherhood, by way of retaliation. Many times, they would be marched into the private quarters of some courtly function they were forced to attend and then reprimanded for their improper behavior. After the scolding, they would scurry back into the crowd as if they’d never left. There was never any real discipline delivered… Not that Liam needed much to begin with. 

Almost a year ago to the day, Liam learned that he would be next in line for the title of king, when the time came. “Little brother, I finally know what I want in life and it does not include being a Crown Prince or anything associated with it.” “What are you saying exactly?” “The crown is yours Liam. I am officially announcing my abdication at breakfast in the morning.” Liam’s expression turns to shock as he tries to absorb the magnitude of Leo’s words. Liam never really placed much faith in his status as royalty, but at least with Leo being the Crown Prince, he’d never have to worry about fulfilling familial expectations of becoming the king… but now things were different. “What made you decide to denounce the throne?” Leo smiles, “For the first time in my life, I know what is most important… I fell in love Liam… I’ve always known I wasn’t suited for this lifestyle, but meeting Katy was the deciding factor for me and I plan to ask for her hand in marriage as soon as this is final.” “Do you know that she’ll say yes?” “That’s the beauty of it little brother, I don’t. But it’s a risk I’m willing to take because life itself has no guarantees and sometimes you have to take a leap of faith and trust your own instincts.” Liam considers these words for a moment, happy that Leo has found his true love but at the same time, torn by fear and the weight of his own impending future. Leo watches Liam’s expressions and sees the conflicts working in his mind. “It’s only befitting that you should take my place as the Crown Prince. I know it’s a lot to drop on you all at once, but I know in my heart that you were always the most suited for the role. I would have been a terrible king, trust me.” “But I’m not sure this is what I want… I certainly never expected it to be an option… Of course, I’m happy that you found someone to share your life with, but there are so many things I have to consider now.” “I know it won’t be easy… but for what it’s worth, I’ll stand behind you no matter what decision you make. That, you can count on.” Leo claps Liam on the shoulder with brotherly affection as they say their goodbyes. Liam stays behind to try and put things in perspective and grasp the significance of his uncertain future. He walks around the square for hours, touching the old stone walls, his eyes filter through every detail in the city and finally he stops in front of a clock that sits high atop a tower… 

As Liam takes another sip of coffee he reads the last excerpt from the front-page article about the ‘Royal Wedding of His Majesty, King Liam and the beloved Duchess Catherine Beckham of Valtoria’. This time tomorrow he will be on his honeymoon, waking up to the love of his life for the first time as a married couple. Seeing her sleepy smile as he cuddles her in his arms… the tousled hair falling around her face… framing her natural beauty like a silhouette… He can’t help but smile, wondering what is going through her mind at this very moment. 

As your maid of honor, Hana had arranged a sleepover for all the ladies at Valtoria the night before. In keeping with tradition, she felt it best that you be away from the palace after the rehearsal dinner in case there was an accidental meeting of the bride and groom the next day… or a not so accidental one either… 

Liam still sits in his office awaiting the flurry of activity to begin when he hears a knock on the door. “Come in.” Drake pokes his head in and looks around to make sure Liam is alone. “Hey, you got a minute?” “For my oldest and dearest friend, always. Come in.” Liam gets up from his chair and walks around to the front of the desk sitting partially on the corner. “What’s on your mind Drake?” “Well, I know you’ve got a lot on your plate today with the wedding and all, but I wondered if you could spare a minute and have a drink? For old times’ sake?” “It’s a little early for whiskey, but I won’t object if you do.” “I figured you’d say that, so I brought a fresh pot of coffee.” “Good choice.” He goes out the door and into the hallway retrieving a pot and two cups, sitting them on the desk. Drake pours the coffee, handing one cup to Liam and picks up the other and sits in the chair in front of the desk. “Thank you.” “Yeah, I know how you like coffee in the morning and I’ve kinda developed a taste for it myself. It helps with a hangover.” “So, is there something you wanted to talk about?” “Well, I’ve been meaning to give you a wedding gift, but with the tour and all, it just never seemed like the best time.” “That’s not necessary Drake. Your friendship is gift enough.” “Yeah but I think you’ll really like it.” “I’m sure I will. What is it?” “Hold your horses, I gotta lead into it. It’s kind of a funny story actually.” Liam’s expression becomes quizzical, but he patiently waits for Drake to continue. “When we were in New York this last time, Beckham tried to help me find you the perfect gift. Hell, I was in furniture stores, pet stores, hardware stores… none of which she approved of by the way.” Liam chuckles. “I started to think it was a lost cause and we finally took a beat and sat down on a bench outside a bunch of shops. I was getting pretty frustrated over a lost afternoon and still no gift, but out of nowhere an object was reflecting in one of the store windows and caught my eye.” “So, what gift were you hoping to find in a furniture store?” “Never mind that.” “Heh. I bet it was one of those reclining chairs… or maybe a table with a secret compartment.” “Ha, ha, very funny. It doesn’t matter anyway because it’s not the gift I ended up with.” “So, what did you end up with?” “I got this.” Drake reaches in his pocket and pulls out the antique compass and hands it proudly to Liam. He takes it and looks at it carefully and then opens the dial. “Drake this is a wonderful gift, but I have to ask, what can I use it for?” “Well, since you’re king and all, your life will be going in a lot of different directions and with everything your dad did to you and Beckham, I thought it might serve as a reminder to never lose your way like he did.” “Drake… I don’t know what to say… it’s a wonderful sentiment, and a perfect gift.” “Yeah, well I thought you might like it and I figured you’d get your share of useless stuff, so I wanted to give you a gift that meant something.” “It does. I really do appreciate this Drake, more than you know.” “Well, you are my best friend after all.” “I know you don’t do the whole hugging thing, but would you settle for a handshake instead?” Liam reaches out his hand to Drake. “Yeah, nothin’ unmanly about a good old hand shake.” Drake shakes Liam’s hand as Liam turns back to look at the compass. Maxwell walks by the door and stops when he sees Liam and Drake. “Hey guys. Bertrand is looking for you Liam and he said it was important.” Liam sighs. “Everything is important with Bertrand.” Maxwell laughs. “Yeah, I know. I remember one time when we went to a concert and…” Liam interrupts Maxwell midsentence. “Ahem… Maxwell, I don’t mean to cut this short, but I should probably go see what he wants.” “Oh, right. He’s in the boutique.” Liam excuses himself looking back at Drake with an impish grin. Before Maxwell can start his story again Drake heads toward the door. “Uh…I’ve gotta see a man about a horse. Later Maxwell.” “But I didn’t get to finish my story…” Drake says nothing and exits the office as Maxwell calls out to him. “Hey wait. The stables are that way…” 

The Day Before

At the palace --

After the rehearsal, everyone heads back to the palace. A line forms to enter the elaborately decorated ballroom where dinner is going to be served. Normally there are not so many invited to a dinner following a wedding rehearsal, but this was no ordinary wedding. You and Liam stand near the back and he takes your hand leaning over to whisper in your ear. “Would you sneak away with me? From the looks of things, it will be at least an hour before we’d be missed.” “You read my mind.” You both smile as a twinge of heat passes between you. Once the coast is clear, Liam takes your hand and guides you down a hallway and to another set of stairs that leads to the second floor. He stops long enough to plant a passionate kiss on your lips, leaving you breathless. “Wow… I hope there’s more where that came from.” “Much more my love…” 

Upon reaching an empty bedroom Liam ushers you in and closes the door, locking it and then reaches for you. He pulls you close, your lips crashing together, and the clothes start dropping around the room as you inch your way to the bed. You lay down and he follows, bathing you with wet, hot kisses down your neck and lower. His mouth grazing your nipple as he takes it in gently sucking and then draws sensual circles with his tongue, caressing the curve with his hand. “Oh Liam…” Your hands in his hair as he continues to lavish your breasts with his lips and his hand. “Mmmm… you are so beautiful…”  Your hands move from his hair to his arms and then to his back, digging your nails in from the intense yearning welling up inside you. He kisses slowly back up to the curve of your neck and then finds your lips again...his hand exploring down your body and dips in between your inner thighs. “Catherine…” He moans feverishly as his hand reaches your wet folds, stroking ever so gently until your hips writhe in his hand. He looks into your eyes as his fingers slowly penetrate, causing a moan of undeniable pleasure.  “Liam…” You reach up with your hand against his cheek and he closes his eyes for a moment, leaning into your touch kissing your hand. He looks at you, searching your soul and drawing you farther into his realm of passion. You close your eyes, sinking your head deeper into the pillow, your breaths become shallow. “Mmmm… Liam.” “Catherine...I need you…” You reach down, taking him in your hand… stroking his erection and he moans as you feel him harden even further as if he might burst at any moment. “Catherine…” “Like that?” “Oh God… yes…” He kisses you deep and then his lips slide down your body… with your hand still grasping his length, he delves between your legs kissing and tasting every inch of you… you turn over with your legs on each side of his head, pulling his legs toward your upper body, he moves the rest of the way. While stroking, you begin kissing his tip and then slowly taking him in your mouth… you feel his hot breath quicken between your legs and he penetrates you with his tongue as his fingers caress your clit. You both move together as the intensity grows from each kiss and every touch… Liam moves around with your body between his legs and he is now towering over you. His muscular body glistening in the light and gazes into your eyes with a hunger. You reach for him pulling him into a kiss so passionate, powerful waves of energy flow to your swollen vortex of heat as he gently slides inside you… his body lifting you off the bed with each commanding thrust… you soon match his pace as he pushes deeper, harder… he slows the pace for a moment when he feels the intense vibrations from deep inside you. “Oh Liam!” Immersed in the force of emotion between you, he picks up the tempo kissing you deep and hard and with clenched teeth his resistance gives way to release. “Oh Catherine…” 

With both of you sweating and breathless, you lay in each other’s arms until the trembling subsides. “I…love you…Liam.” “I love… you too…Catherine.” 

When he finally catches his breath, Liam rolls over on his back pulling you close. With your leg draped over his, you lay your head on his chest. Content and satisfied you sigh. “I can’t wait to marry you Liam.” He kisses into your hair. “I feel the same way. I’ve ever been more excited over a royal event as I am about our wedding.” “I’m glad we had this time together. After dinner tonight, Hana is kidnapping me, and I won’t see you again until the wedding tomorrow.” “Even though it’s only one night, it will feel like an eternity.” You both lay in silence, fulfilled by the warmth of your bodies against each other. 

“Do you think anyone’s missed us yet?” “Perhaps, but at this point I doubt anyone cares.” “I’m glad we had this time together, but we should get back to our guests.” Liam sighs. “You’re right as always, but I wouldn’t have missed this time with you for anything.” Reluctantly he gets out of bed and holds his hand out for you. Upon reaching the bathroom, you both get cleaned up and then gather your scattered clothes and get dressed.  You both return to the dinner, blending back into the crowd… 

After the meal has concluded, you and Liam stand at the exit to thank the well-wishers for coming and give them a few moments with their king and future queen. Once the last guest has been properly acknowledged and the doors to the palace have closed, you both breathe a sigh of relief. “It’s good to know that so many people will be attending our wedding, but I’m exhausted.” “Tell me about it. Entertaining a few hundred nobles at once can certainly take its toll.” “I have a few more things to pack before Hana takes me away... would you keep me company while I finish?” “I’d be happy to.”  He flings his arm around your shoulders as you wrap yours around his waist, walking slowly up the stairs and into your bedroom. Liam has a perplexed look on his face that you can’t help but notice. “Something on your mind?” “Catherine, talking about entertainment has got me thinking.” “What about?” “About this sleepover tonight with the girls… will there be any… entertainment at this little soiree?” “I don’t think so but why would you ask that?” “I’m just making sure that I will have no competition vying for my soon to be wife’s affections.” “It’s not a bachelorette party Liam. As a matter of fact, we’re going to watch a movie and I’ll be going to bed right after.” “I suppose it was a ridiculous question… but it never hurts to be sure.” You smile and pull him in for a kiss. “Why would I ever look at anyone else when I’ve got the most handsome and loving man standing right here in front of me? You have nothing to worry about.” He smiles and pulls you closer. “That’s good to know. And I’ll take the flattery.” You lean in and whisper in his ear. “You’ll get more than just flattery come this time tomorrow night.” “Mmmm… if you keep talking like that I might have to kidnap you myself.” “Oh? And what are you going to do to keep me from escaping?” He places his hand on your cheek and looks lovingly into your eyes. “I’m hoping after a night with me, you wouldn’t want to.” “I’m not going anywhere Liam.” “Good.” He presses his lips to yours and you melt into the embrace. “I might sneak away during the movie and call you if that’s okay.” Liam smiles. “I’d like that.” “Okay, it’s settled then. I guess I should finish packing. Will you open that bag?” “Of course.” You smile at him and trot off to the bathroom as Hana steps in. 

“Hi Liam. Is Catherine ready?” “Yes… she is finishing up now.” You come out with both hands full and place the items in the bag and then close it. “Hey Hana.” “Are you ready to go?” “Yes, I think so.” Hana looks down at your suitcases sitting on the floor. “Do you need some help with those?” Liam turns to you. “I’ll take them down for you.” “Oh, okay.” “Then if you’re ready everyone is waiting.” You reach for the bags on your bed and Liam turns to Hana. “Hana would you give us a moment?” “Oh, of course.” She turns around to leave and then stops. “Oh! I forgot to mention that Olivia has decided to join us tonight. And… she’s a bit agitated already.” “That’s no surprise. Tell her I lost an earring or something.” “That might work.” She smiles, and waves then leaves the room. Liam takes you in his arms once again as you wrap yours around his neck. He leans in and kisses you passionately and pulls back looking deep into your eyes. “I can’t wait to marry you Catherine Beckham.” “That’s exactly what I was thinking.” He kisses you again and then sighs. “I suppose we should get you downstairs.” “Right. We don’t want Olivia having a meltdown.” Liam smiles and reluctantly releases you and then reaches for your bags, looking around the room. “Catherine, where is your wedding dress? I don’t see it anywhere.” “Oh, Hana had it delivered to Valtoria this afternoon. She wanted to keep it under ‘wraps’ until the big day tomorrow.” “Oh, that’s good. You are going to be beautiful.” “Aww… you are so sweet. I can’t wait to see what you’ll be wearing.” “I suppose we’re both in for a surprise.” After loading your bags, he walks around the vehicle and opens the door for you. “Good evening ladies.” Everyone says hello and then you turn back to him, kissing him one last time. He smiles tenderly as you step into the vehicle and Liam closes the door. You roll down the window, leaning out and waving as you watch his silhouette become smaller and smaller until finally he is out of sight. “What took you so long? And what’s with the love-sick school girl act? You’ll have him forever after tomorrow.” “Well Olivia, if you must know… I’m going to miss him.” “Well I hope in the future you’ll be able to restrain yourself from such ridiculous behavior. It’s embarrassing.” “Leaving like this reminded me of that night at the Coronation.” Hana chimes in. “That was a bad night for all of us but think about at all the good things that’s happened since then. I mean look at all of us, we’re finally friends.” “Must you always find the good in every situation? Honestly, it’s exhausting.” “It’s just who I am Olivia.” “Don’t you ever find it degrading to be so polite all the time?” “Olivia, being aggressive works for you but I’m just not like that. I accept that sometimes you’re overbearing and outspoken, but not everyone can pull it off as well as you do.” Olivia continues as if she didn’t hear the sarcasm nor the giggling between Kiara and Penelope at the frankness of Hana’s words. “Those are traits well served by a Nevrakis and I’m not ready to just forget my lineage, but… I suppose the nice act does have its advantages.” 

At Valtoria --

When you arrive at Valtoria, a few staff are waiting to take the bags to your respective rooms. Kiara is the first one out of the vehicle, followed by Penelope and her poodles. “Magnifique Catherine.” “Thank you, Kiara.” Penelope looks around at the massive estate in awe. “Catherine, this place is so nice. Merly and Mora will have so much fun. Didn’t you bring Chance?” “No, Maxwell insisted on keeping him tonight.” “Oh, that’s too bad. Merly and Mora was looking forward to seeing him.” Penelope bends down to pat Merlin and Morgana with a sad expression. “I’m sorry you two, but Chance won’t be joining us tonight.” They look at her inquisitively but is soon forgotten when she stands up leading them to the grass. Olivia steps out of the car and looks around the estate with a less than enthusiastic expression. “I suppose these accommodations are sufficient, but Lythikos would have been a much better choice in my opinion.” You respond. “I’m glad you agreed to join us Olivia. I hope it won’t be too hard for you to spend a night under such paltry conditions.” “I’ll certainly try, but I’m not making any promises.” Hana is already at the front door and motions for you all to join her. Once inside, she leads everyone up to their respective rooms to get settled in. 

Before long you and your friends are seated around a big screen and waiting for the movie to begin. “I personally loathe romantic comedies. Can’t we watch something a bit more realistic?” Hana pours everyone a glass of wine and passes around the hors d’ oeuvres. “Romance is real Olivia, but I guess it’s not for everyone.” “Hmph, I’m not buying into the whole romantic, lovey dovey crap. If you ask me, marriage is more like a symbol. It represents a purpose.” “Mon ami, marriage is about sharing, no?” “Yeah, like sharing trivial nonsense.” Hana chimes in. “Olivia, when you find someone whose happiness means more to you than your own, you’ll understand.” Olivia sips her wine and nervously adjusts herself in the chair. “I’m just saying that there is more to a marriage than just a simple fairytale description.” You reach for an hors d’ oeuvres. “Of course it’s more than that. Marriage is a representation of unity between two people who share common interests and where love is the foundation. What Liam and I share is beyond fairytale status. We don’t always agree, but we respect each other’s opinions and beliefs and I think that in itself is the perfect formula for a successful partnership.” Penelope speaks up. “I agree with Catherine. Love is the foundation of any relationship, whether a marriage or a courtship.” Olivia snips, “We’ve all seen how you moon over Kiara’s brother. I guess that makes you an expert on this subject.” Penelope smiles sheepishly. “No. I’m no expert, but I think I can relate to what Catherine is saying.” “This whole conversation is relatively boring. Can we just watch this ridiculous movie, so I can get some beauty sleep?” Hana grabs the remote, pressing the button and the movie begins… 

Halfway through it you excuse yourself. “Should I pause it until you get back?” “No Hana, I won’t be long.” Olivia smirks. “Tell Liam we said hello.” You look at her not really surprised by such a candid remark. “Well, I did promise to call, and I don’t want to keep him up too late.” “Don’t let us keep you then.” Olivia says sarcastically. You say nothing and keep walking up the stairs. When she thinks you’re out of ear shot, she comments to the others, “Can’t those two be apart for even one night? Honestly, it’s as nauseating as this movie... pass me the wine!” 

You walk into your room, grabbing the phone and lay down propping up on a few pillows. You dial the number and Liam answers immediately. “Hello my angel. I’ve been waiting for your call.” “Hey sweetheart. I miss you.” “I miss you too… How is everything going over there?” “Oh just hanging out watching a movie but I don’t want to talk about that. I want to talk about us.” “Okay my love… Are you nervous about tomorrow?” “Not at all. I’m more impatient than anything else.” “I know exactly what you mean. The anticipation is almost more than I can bear.” “This is your last night as a single man… any doubts I should know about?” “Catherine… there has never been any doubt about my love for you and starting tomorrow I plan to spend the rest of my life showing you just how much… What about you though? Do you have any concerns you’d like to share?” “Not even one. There is no one that could ever make me as happy as you do.” “Your happiness means everything to me Catherine… I hope you know that.” 

There is a slight pause in the conversation as tears of joy begin to well up in your eyes. 

“I do but… we should talk about something less emotional. I’m already weepy… I can only imagine the tears when I see you standing at the alter tomorrow…” “Catherine... I’m not certain that I’ll be able to contain my joy when I finally see you walking down the aisle.” “I guess we’ll both be a mess then… maybe we should just elope and forget all this pageantry.” Liam laughs heartily as you laugh in return. “Your laughter is just one of the things I love about you Liam…” “Catherine… there are so many things I love about you… it’s impossible to think of just one.” “Just give me the highlights then…” Liam chuckles and then pauses in thought... “Well, what comes to mind at this moment is...” His words come softer and more intense. “…I love how you smile right before our lips meet, and the way your eyes sparkle when we touch… I especially love how it feels when I hold you in my arms…” “Oh Liam, I wish you were here right now…” “So do I Catherine… so do I.” 

You each feel the strain of this brief separation but knowing it is only for tonight, Liam sighs in resolve. 

“It’s only for tonight, but it’s definitely going to be a long one to say the least.” “I know. All I can think about is you, and I still have a movie to finish watching.” “You should probably get back to the others then…I don’t want to keep you any longer.” “Yeah, I guess you’re right but I’m glad I could hear your voice and say good night at least.” “Until tomorrow, My Queen. And I know you are going to be the most beautiful bride Cordonia has ever seen.” “I’m glad you think so. Good night Liam.” “Good night my love.” 

You hang up heavy hearted and slowly head back downstairs only to find everyone else has gone to bed except Hana. She is cleaning up when you walk in. “Where is everyone? Is the movie over?” “Yeah, it ended a few minutes ago.” “Here, let me help you.” When the glasses and dishes have all been cleared away you both plop down on the couch and Hana turns to you. “Are you excited about tomorrow?” “I’m more than excited… I’m finally going to be married to the love of my life.” “It’s hard not to see how much in love you two are. And it’s going to be a beautiful wedding, I just know it.” “Thanks’ to you! What would I have done without my best friend?” “I’m happy to be a part of it. After all, you’re my best friend too.” “I don’t mean just the wedding… You’ve been there through everything, even when things were tough and for that I am thankful.” “Aww Catherine, that really means a lot. But truth be told, I think you would have been just fine without me.” “Well, I’m glad we’ll never know for sure.” You both sit in silence for a moment when inspiration suddenly strikes you. “Hey Hana?” “Yes?” “Why don’t we do the pillow fort thing like we did back in Shanghai?” Hana thinks for a moment and a smile comes across her face. “Well, we won’t have any movies to watch but we can still talk and paint each other’s nails… I say we do it.” “Good. Come on.” You both head upstairs giddy with laughter and into your room. After several hours of talking, laughing and nail polishing, you both fall fast asleep. 

The Wedding Day

At Valtoria --

The next morning, you are awakened by a knock on the door. It’s Penelope and Kiara. “Catherine, breakfast is being served and everyone’s waiting.” “Oh! What time is it? Did I oversleep?” “Pas vraiment. It’s only seven, but we do have a surprise downstairs.” You stretch and yawn and request a few minutes to get dressed as they walk away happily down the hallway. You look over only to see that Hana has already left. (“I wonder what they’re up to?”) You hurriedly change clothes and head downstairs. When you reach the bottom of the stairs Hana is waiting with a smile. “We have a little surprise for you Catherine… right this way.” She leads you to the sitting room where the other girls are sitting in a circle of chairs and Olivia smiles. “You take forever sometimes.” You smile and look around at everyone curiously. “What is all this?” Hana beams as she leads you to one of the empty chairs and then sits in the one beside you. “It was impossible to give you a wedding shower with the tour and all… but before the chaos begins, we wanted to give you our gifts.” “Well in that case, I suppose I should give you yours as well.” You get up and walk to a tall chest pulling out several small bags and then pass them out to each one of your friends. “I wanted to give you a token to symbolize our friendship, but most of all to thank you for your dedication and sacrifice. Each of you have played an important part in uniting Cordonia and as your future queen we may not have moments like this often, but I want you to always remember the bond we share.” They each open their gift and gasp joyously. A gold necklace, with individual charms symbolic of your friendship to each of them and one larger than the rest which is the Cordonian crest. Hana is the first to speak. “This is a perfect gift Catherine and I will cherish it and our friendship always.” “Mon ami, this is très chic, no.” Penelope tries to fight back tears. “Catherine… this is so beautiful… and thoughtful.” Olivia sits looking at the charms on her necklace. “I certainly wasn’t expecting such a lovely gift from you Catherine, but I suppose there’s still hope for you yet.” “I’ll take that as a compliment.” “Well it was meant to be.” After admiring each other’s necklaces, Hana indicates it’s time for you to open yours. “We didn’t think you’d be needing traditional gifts, so we focused on something else… lingerie!” 

At the palace --

Liam is standing in the boutique being fitted one last time before leaving the palace. Bertrand and the seamstress are discussing a decoration be added to his military uniform. “His Majesty has requested this last embellishment so how soon can we expect it to be completed?” The seamstress thinks a moment and then replies. “I’ll have it ready by noon.” “Very good. We’ll have ample time for another fitting before departing to the church.” Liam looks at Bertrand. “I’ll change and come back later then.” “Very well Your Majesty.” Liam goes into one of the changing rooms and once dressed he comes out handing the uniform to Bertrand who bows and then gives it to the seamstress. “I’ll see you two at noon.” Liam says as he walks out of the boutique. As he walks down the hall Bastien meets him from the other direction and bows. “Your Majesty.” “Good morning Bastien. Were you looking for me?” “Yes. Your presence has been requested in the dining room.” “Thank you Bastien.” 

At Valtoria --

After the lingerie ‘party’, you and the other’s head to the dining room for breakfast. With the conversation being about their favorite and which you should choose for the honeymoon, Olivia doesn’t utter a word. You interrupt not really wanting to continue the topic anyway. “Since you guys brought up the subject, I thought I would mention that Liam and I won’t be leaving for the honeymoon until tomorrow and we’ll be staying at the palace tonight.” Hana responds. “I completely forgot about that. We’ll make sure no one disturbs you two tonight Catherine.” “Well after this wedding, I’ll be heading back to Lythikos, so I certainly won’t be guarding the door.” You look at Olivia and notice a twinge of pain across her usually tough persona... “Olivia, if you wouldn’t mind I’d like to have you help me decide on something while I’m getting ready.” Olivia rolls her eyes and snips. “Like what? Which color lipstick goes with Liam’s eyes?” You ignore her sarcasm. “No. I can’t decide on which hairstyle would work with the veil and you have such good taste, so I was hoping you might have a suggestion.” Olivia carefully considers your request and her expression softens somewhat. “Well, it’s only fitting that you would ask for my advice. After all, I am the only one here with any sense of style...And I certainly can’t let you make Liam look bad… I suppose I might have a few suggestions.” “Good.” Everyone finishes breakfast and goes upstairs to get packed and ready for the trip to the church. 

At the palace --

Things are busy at the palace. Liam has been fitted for the final time after a last-minute addition to his military uniform. After that it’s time to head to the church where Liam and his groomsmen will get ready and the Archbishop will visit for the official blessing before the wedding ceremony starts. Maxwell, Drake and Bertrand rush to the awaiting limo which will follow behind the motorcade. On their way to The Archbasilica of St. Martin, the streets are lined with the official Cordonian flag and banners signifying that a wedding is about to take place. And people have already started gathering to watch the traditional procession back to the palace immediately following the nuptials. They wave frantically as the motorcade goes by. Crews are setting up with their camera’s and security is circulating throughout the town and at the church. Once arriving, Liam is ushered inside and into a holding room, along with the others, to get ready for the wedding of the century. Maxwell is the first to speak. “Man did you guys see all those people lined up on our way over?” Bertrand responds. “This is considered to be one of the most widely anticipated events in the history of Cordonia. I’m not the least bit surprised by the display of public participation.” “Yeah, it’s kind of scary.” Bertrand senses that the king needs a peaceful moment. “Maxwell, I need your help with a few last-minute details.” Bertrand walks toward the door. “You want my help?” “Well you can at least watch and learn. Come along.” Maxwell follows Bertrand, leaving Drake and Liam alone. Drake walks over beside Liam and looks out the window where Liam stands deep in thought. “Hey, how are you holding up?” “Better than expected actually.” “Yeah. Well, I know it’s been tough getting here, but this is what you’ve been waiting for.” “Yes. It almost seems too good to be true.” “What does that mean?” “I just hope I can live up to Catherine’s expectations Drake… her happiness means more to me than anything else.” “Well I’ve seen how Beckham looks at you and I don’t think you have anything to worry about. Hell, I wish I had someone that loved me half as much as she loves you.” “How can you be so sure?” “Do you really have to ask? Anyone that’s seen you two knows you belong together. She wouldn’t have come all this way and went through the hell this court dished on her if she wasn’t.” Liam smiles and then pats Drake on the shoulder. “Thank you, Drake.” “For what?” “For keeping me grounded and for always having my back.” “Hey, you’ve always been there for me and I don’t forget that easy.” “I know, and I appreciate it.” Suddenly, the door swings open and Maxwell rushes in breathless. “Catherine’s here! I don’t know what she did, but man she looks gorgeous! You’re a lucky man Liam.” Liam smiles. “I already knew that Maxwell.” “Then it’s show time, let’s do this!” Drake looks over at Maxwell curiously. “What’s that on your face?” “What?” Drake points at his cheek. “Oh!” Maxwell rubs at the spot Drake pointed. “I bet she did that on purpose…” 

At Valtoria –

While sitting in your room thinking about the wedding, you are startled by a sudden knock on the door. You open it to find Olivia on the other side. “Hey Olivia.” She walks in smiling. “So, I’ve been thinking about what we can possible do with that unkempt hair of yours and I can’t decide until I see the veil. Where is it?” You walk over to the bureau and open the box sitting on top. Olivia looks in and examines it carefully, then takes it out for a closer inspection. “Hmm… it’s not as exquisite as I had imagined but I think it fits you perfectly.” “Olivia, can we just cut the sarcasm? It’s just you and me in this room right now and you don’t have to keep up the façade.” “What do you mean façade?” “I know you’re not as vicious and cruel as you want everyone to believe. And deep down there is a kinder and gentler version of yourself… why do you continue to hide it?” “Uh…what? I’m not hiding anything. What you see is what you get. And besides, I am a Nevrakis… it’s expected.” “You know, with the stigma you claim is attached to your lineage, why would you want to hold onto the negative aspects of it? Only you have the power to change those expectations of what being a Nevrakis means. You’re not being true to yourself…” Olivia’s expression begins to soften as she carefully considers your words and suddenly she bursts into tears. “Why do you even care? It’s not like you’d get some medal for piecing together my wretched life… I know I’m a terrible person… and even if I wanted to change, it’s not that easy for me. I have a reputation to…” You reach and pull her into a comforting hug where she tenses at first and then softens into the embrace. “Olivia, you’re not a terrible person. I think you are just misunderstood. If people could see what I do, they’d know what a warm and generous person you are.” Olivia backs up and looks at you questioningly. “How would you know all that?” “I guess you could call it a gift, but I’m good at reading people. And pretty accurate most of the time.” “Well… I suppose you’re not completely wrong about me, but I just don’t know how to be any different. I don’t know how to be a… friend I guess.” “Well, you’re doing a pretty good job right now. I mean you did agree to come help me with my hair and only a friend would be so generous.” She looks at you with an arched brow and the hint of a smile. “So, this was all a ploy to have me bear my soul… so I’d be in your little circle?” You smile. “Well… maybe. But it worked didn’t it?” Olivia looks down, toying with her fingernails and then looks back up to you. “I guess that’s still up for debate but…” Olivia grabs a tissue and dries her eyes and then gestures for you to sit at the vanity. She takes a brush in hand... “I have an idea about how we can do your hair that will simply look marvelous with that exquisite veil. You are going to be the most beautiful bride Cordonia has ever seen.” You smile and sit down as Olivia begins… 

After your hair is done and everyone has praised Olivia for how beautiful it looks, it’s time for makeup and then off to the church. Upon arrival you see Maxwell in the hall before you step into the holding room and he comes running up to you. “Catherine! Wow!” “I take it you like?” “You could say that… damn you look good!” You laugh. “Do you think Liam will approve?” “He won’t be able to take his eyes off you. Hell, I can’t take mine off you…” “Well you’ll have to because I need to get out of this hallway in case Liam happens to come out here. And besides I have to finish getting ready. You know, the dress?” “Oh yeah… right. Well, I guess I’ll see you at the wedding then.” You reach up and kiss him on the cheek, smiling mischievously and then head into the room where the others are waiting to help you get dressed. Maxwell scurries down the hall and into the men’s holding room. 

At the church –

Once the blessing has been completed, the men exit leaving Liam alone. He stands by the window again but this time with a gentle confidence and peaceful thoughts about the woman he will soon marry. He has never been as happy as he is in this moment and he smiles knowing that in a matter of moments, he’ll be standing beside the woman of his dreams vowing his love to her for an eternity. “Catherine, My love… Since I was old enough to understand my purpose in life, I had only dreamed about the kind of woman I could spend the rest of my life with. I had many ideas about her… She would be kind, generous and inspirational… She would be courageous, determined and strong willed… She would be cheerful and sincere, keeping true to herself and her beliefs regardless of the expectations placed before her… And most of all, she would never allow anything to alter her character. From the moment we first met, there was no doubt that you were this woman…the one I had dreamed of. Your presence has brought so much to my life and I only hope that I can give you half of what you have given me. All that I am and all that I have, I offer to you in love and joy. From this day and until my last breath, I will comfort and protect you, hold you close in my heart, embrace you above all others and remain faithful to you… Beyond all these things, I give you my everlasting love… in sickness and in health. With everything that I am, I give myself to you for an eternity.” 

Bertrand knocks and then opens the door to tell Liam it’s time. “I’m ready.” Liam follows Bertrand through the hallway and into the basilica where a live orchestra sits in the nave. The musical sounds reverberating off the walls lending a pleasant atmosphere. Liam steps in and walks to the alter where his groomsmen are already waiting. He stands with his arms in front, one hand crossing the other, quietly waiting with anticipation to see his bride. 

After the traditional blessing, it’s almost time for everyone to take their places. Once you have put on your dress and all the adjustments are made, the ladies leave you for a moment of solitude before the ceremony begins. The veil pulled over your face creating silhouettes of light as you stand by the window… you reflect about your life and where you are at this moment… but mostly you think about Liam and how much you love him and the happy life you’re about to begin with the man of your dreams. 

You take a moment to rehearse your vows. “Liam, I never really understood what love at first sight meant, but when our eyes met, it became so clear to me... You were the one I had been searching for, the one I believed only existed in my dreams. When you came into my life I realized that what I always thought was happiness was nothing more than a delusion. Nothing compares to the joy that loving you has brought me. You give me hope and peace, joy and laughter, but most of all you give me love… A love so pure and true. You are a part of everything I think, do and feel. With you I know anything is possible. You are and always will be the love of my life…. My soul mate. Today I give myself to you with every ounce of my being. I will love you without reservation, cherish you and hold you with the highest regard... I will support you and comfort you through life’s joys and sorrows. I will encourage and inspire you… be honest and faithful to you. I will stand by you in sickness and in health. All these things I promise to you for as long as I live and breathe. I love you now... and I will love you forever.” 

You can already hear the music playing and your heart is beating wildly. Hana steps in the room. “It’s time Catherine. Are you ready?” “Yes. I’m ready Hana.” You smile as Hana grabs the train of the dress and you walk assuredly down the hall and to the right, stopping in front of the closed double doors. Bertrand is there to walk you down the aisle and the children stand with baskets of rose petals to drop ahead of you during the procession. “How are you feeling my dear?” “Happy… more than I ever thought possible Bertrand. And thank you for everything.” “There is no need to thank me. You are a Beaumont after all… and you look positively radiant.” You smile as he takes your hand. 

Soon the double doors open and the journey down the aisle begins. “Just keep your chin up and smile.” You lift your head and take a deep breath. “I can do that.” As the procession slowly moves forward, you see Liam standing at the alter and your heart skips a beat. “Oh God!” Bertrand continues to smile but whispers… “Breathe my dear, just breathe.” You can feel the tears stinging your eyes but manage to compose yourself when you see the smile on Liam’s face. It is warm and loving… it’s as if there is no one else in the room but the two of you… 

Liam turns facing the doors when they open, he gasps as he sees you walking slowly to him. His heart pounding in his chest, and he smiles as tears come to his eyes. He takes a deep breath trying to remain poised…to him, your beauty is undeniable, even under the veil. He sees only you as everyone else seems to fade away…

[republicstandard]

9 Top Tips For Surviving Twitter As A Right Wing Thought Criminal

Should you decide to enlist in the culture war hosted on the Twitter-dot-com hellscape (where every day is Hamburger Hill), there are some things that you need to learn and apply in order to survive to tweet another day. Welcome to boot camp, you scrubs and noobs.

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1. Choose Your Fighter

You, dear-never-ever-before-user of Twitter should take the time to read the Terms of Service. There are a plethora of words and behaviors that can get you booted from the platform and all of them are vaguely explained with the broadest interpretation possible. Once you've read Twitters soul sucking list of obligatory rules that severely limit your speech while protecting it for the people you cross intellectual swords with in the idea war, you are ready to build your player.

As Twitter is becoming pretty censorious, I'm also on: Gab: https://t.co/TrQ2JW4sAI YouTube: https://t.co/1NfMOYwkbF FB: https://t.co/zeAtcHTDcf WT: https://t.co/xs18l5Tpkc pic.twitter.com/EkVtklMN10

— Orwell & Goode 🇨🇱 (@OrwellNGoode) May 14, 2018

The limits are on the far end of infinity. You may choose to be a cute doggo, or perhaps an ms-paint frog or toad, an oft overlooked historical figure, a painting, or a parody of a living or dead celebrity with a morbidly hilarious twist. Your creativity in creating your avatar and name has a moment to really shine here but whatever you do, don't choose your own face and name because some of the people you talk to want to kill you. Or, at least completely ruin your life so that you will do it yourself. This is not an exaggeration. Rest in peace, Andrew.

2. Your first tweet

Oh good. You decided to stick around.

For the love all that is holy do not tweet using the hashtag #MyFirstTweet. It's very tempting, I know, but as it's your very first tweet, everyone you run across will already know it's your very first ever tweet on account of there being no previous tweets preceding it. The new friends that you make today will use this tweet to let their friends know that you have taken the monumental step of becoming a brand new Twitter user; so do make it snappy and full of wit, let your personality shine. For goodness sake understand that the monsters that want you dead use the search feature and the hashtag #MyFirstTweet to hunt down brand new baby right wing accounts to have them aborted. Much like they screech about needing the "freedom" to do to actual humans in the streets, wearing nothing but pink knit double peak hats and their own undercoat of rapist-repellent blubber.

Yeah. I went there. Bring it.

3. Follow carefully

Despite the disgusting urchins that lurk about bandying their rotund degeneracy on #findom, the mountain of actual pedophiles that will try to convince you they are the good guys, and the entirety of #blacktwitter, Twitter is actually a very friendly place and you are bound to make lots of wholesome friends fast; especially if you have never ever been on the platform before, not even once.

Exercise restraint in your tender first few days and resist following back your new friends too quickly as this will result in a “shadowban" or will prompt Big Brother to underhandedly investigate your phone number under the guise of checking to see if you're human, as if robots can't be programmed to use a phone. I suggest just a few follows per hour- keeping it under 100 for the first day. Apparently, according to Ze Bluebird Gestapo, having like minded friends is the same thing as terrorism and you will be gulaged for it. Yes, I'm mixing up Nazi and Communist metaphors in the same sentence. Don't @ me.

4. Personal Security

You need to download and use a VPN. The animals you will run across will pull cute little stunts, like e-drag you into an argument by calling you completely true things as if they are an insult, and acting as if per capita is a flavor of snow cone only people who hate communism can taste. and then drop a link as if they are proving a point, but in reality is an IP address snatcher which is used to find out who and where you are, instead of just answering the question about why 13% of the population commits over 54% of all violent crime.

Next you will want to turn on the double authentication feature, because as soon as you say something true, some cyber-SJW is going to start jaw-jacking from the monumental sugar rush from powdered donuts and 17 cases of orange flavored Mountain Dew and try to hack your account. In the same vein, make certain your email address is hidden and that you aren't using @YourRealEmailAddress as your handle. For your password, use a ridiculous combination of letters and numbers that have no connection to your actual life- which the hideous banshees and their he-minions are trying to end. Am I hammering that point home enough?

Remember to self care today. And be kind. And always punch Nazis.

— Emma Evans (@TrancewithMe) June 28, 2018

Finally, delete the phone number you used to set up your account. You may need it later and it would be sad if it were already occupied.

5. Get a Thesaurus

I've said it before but it bears repeating; get a thesaurus. Contrary to popular belief, you are in fact allowed to talk about objective biological realities, religion, the various systems of government in the world, criticize certain groups of rootless manipulative cabals of wandering tribal people without getting suspended if you follow three simple rules.

Frame and maintain the conversation.

Use uncommon synonyms.

Subtlety can be volatile.

It goes without saying that a debate isn't won until it changes someone's mind. Minds can't be won if the conversation gets deleted. Since mein feind maintains control of the flow of information via control of the media, what you say on twitter could be the final straw that bends the balance of someone's mind to the right. We want that, we need that, especially as the left gets more unhinged.

Understand that the globo-tech complex is happy to assist in the restriction of speech through the creation of algorithms and databases in which words are input and some alert dings off in some rainbow diversity cheeto cheese powder crusted dungeon sticky with sips drips where some slack eyed Gollum pushes the ban button; and you're suddenly on the other side of a suspension. One such word is “retard” and there are many more. Aside from minority reporting, there are particular words and phrases searched just to report wrong-thinking accounts. A small price to pay to cleanse the universe of criticism that may mean people have to self-reflect and experience personal growth and take responsibility for their lives, the horror.

Take what you want to say, leave off the slurs, play around with synonyms and you can take a blatant violation of ToS and turn it into poetic philosophy. If you're intent on low brow trolling, I don't blame you, but I'll miss you when you're gone.

6. Engaging the Enemy

Never engage a hostile. There I said it, my legal obligations have been met. You cannot blame me for what you do with the following entirely hypothetical thought experiment. This article is satire and not for use by anyone, ever. I warned you.

If have attracted a swarm of busy-body detractors through the use of hashtags, do yourself a solid and check their bio and follower count. If their bio contains and reference to #resist just block them, they are there for one purpose and it's to bait you into a violation of ToS. Similarly, if they have 0 or 1 followers it is a sock account of a #resist account. If they have less than 50 followers they have nothing to say, no one likes them anyway, and they just want your attention.

Doxxxing is officially endorsed by Twitter dot comhttps://t.co/aPr8KZAO65

— These tweets are endorsed by this site. (@EndorsedTweets) June 21, 2018

To engage a hostile blue check mark I recommend to avoid placing your extra-spicy tweet on the thread under their tweet. Instead, drop a teaser; then quote tweet the azure-ticked parasite and drop your main show, curtain call, and encore onto your own wall. Most of the people who sit around deriving sexual pleasure from the fantasy of Nazi scalp-hunting haunt the timelines of these verified whine bags, just waiting for you to show up to report your ‘spouts of hate’. Or, as I like to call them, incontrovertible but inconvenient truths.

7. Types of bans and what to do

You are going to get banned at some point. Deal with it.

Shadowban: this is triggered by following too fast, liking too much, retweeting too often, being too active when new, using too many hashtags, using popular hashtags in multiple tweets, and just for the random inconvenience because you're found to be guilty by association. Your options are to take a break, or power through it. There is some theory that these shadowbans are on timers of 1, 3, 5, 12, and 24 hours and that tweeting resets the timer and extends the discomfort. If you have triggered one you will experience a sudden drop in interaction and may think that your friends are ignoring you. They likely just aren't getting your notifications. If you want to check, DM a friend and ask them to tell you if your notifications are coming through. DO NOT use a shadowban checker website, it's believed that these are run by la resistance, and may put your account at risk; or at least in a database to be watched closely. In any case, shadowbans are usually temporary and you'll be back to normal before you know it. It's worth noting that more shadowbanning occurs during certain news cycles like mass casualty events, terror attacks, and when the President does something noteworthy.

Permanent Shadowban: On rare occasions the shadowban never goes away. I don't know what to do about it but if you have some verifiable information regarding this, please contact me or Republic Standard.

12 hour, 24 hour, and 7 day temporary restrictions: Oooh you bad bad boy! Looks like you broke ToS and had to delete some tweets. You should have followed my advice. Tsk tsk. You can DM your mutual followers, participate in DM groups and you can share tweets from the timeline to the DMs, and block accounts. You cannot like, retweet, or share pictures nor can you follow anyone. There's nothing you can do about this; you're stuck like Chuck, whoever he is. There's no use getting your panties in a twist over it though, it's a good time to get to know your friends a little better one on one and perhaps even explore the possibility of meeting in person. It's an isolating online experience but you do have a little time to reflect on what you can do to refine your technique.

Suspension: Sadly, anything after 7 days and you're gone. Finished. Never to be seen from ever again. No coming back from this, George. It's over. Finito. Buh bye. Later gator. Basically dead. Sayonara. Ciao.

Aren't you glad you remembered to delete your phone number?

8. Opsec

I wish I didn't have to go there, but I have to go there. Even if you have a pure, hate-free, friendly account that never runs the risk of crossing ToS, you still aren't out of the frying pan.

Being right wing has painted a big old target on your back and some of the people aiming arrows at you are going to look a lot like friends, and potential lovers.

Infiltration isn't a new tactic. On anonymous Twitter it's not even particularly hard. Despite the fact that most people who try are hilariously bad at it, some aren't. Despite all the accurate memes about the left being dumb and useless, when it comes to operational security the left is a decade ahead of the right. Whether you agree with the ideas of real-world rallies or not, we have to come to the understanding that social media platforms are not secure places to organize such things. Unite the Right organizers just managed to doxx themselves because they could not get this very simple idea into their skulls. If it isn't on a website you control from the code up and you are operating military grade hardware, it's not even remotely close to secret. Stop thinking that it is.

Hey hey hey time to get doxxed by antifa from using discord YEEEEAAAA BOIIIII https://t.co/zZ3kO54Wmg

— Pikawubz (@pikawubz) May 8, 2018

Don't share your photos, too much detail about your location, or too much detail about your life. If you choose to trust someone, make sure it's mutual. As difficult as it is to imagine loyalties do change. Ideological commitment under certain conditions like bribery, threats of doxxing, or a broken heart, can be overcome. Don't forget that this is an ideological war and the stakes are high.

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9. You are not alone

You've made it this far, and this following section truly is the most important part. You have found a warm community of the brightest minds, kindest hearts and most determined people I have ever known to exist. Yeah, we have our in-fights and squabbles; what family doesn't? Helping one another to discover truths that have been hidden from us, fight for a future we want and need, through tough times, and sharing laughter, anger, fears and frustrations bonds us together. If you are ever in a situation where you feel isolated, reach out. If you feel despondent, reach out. If you are being threatened, reach out. We are here for each other. You never have to be alone again.

Happy tweeting. See you in the trenches.

from Republic Standard | Conservative Thought & Culture Magazine https://ift.tt/2lK24gP via IFTTT

[legendarypersonadetective-blog1]

My 25 Best Travel Tips After Six Years Journeying The World

It’s today been Some years since I sold every thing and still left the United States to travel the world. These are the best travel ideas I’ve discovered along the way. It all commenced when I got a one-way trip from Ohio to Honduras City, jumping nervously into the unfamiliar and making much of my old lifestyle behind even though embarking on an epic travel adventure round the world. It’s been an outrageous ride, as well as I’ve learned a lot since i have first quit. To commemorate my “travelversary”, I’ve made a decision to share a collection of my best and quite a few useful travel ideas to help inspire you to make travel a top priority in your life. Feel free to share your own best travel tips at the end! 1. Patience Is vital Don’t sweat your stuff you can’t manage. Life is much too short being angry & frustrated all the time. Did you miss your bus? No worries, there will be another one. ATMs away from money? Excellent! Take an unplanned excursion over to the subsequent town as well as explore. Often freakouts happen irrespective. Just take an in-depth breath along with remind yourself it may be even worse. 2. Wake Up Early Increase at sun rising to have the greatest attractions almost all to your self while avoiding crowds. It’s another magical here we are at photos on account of soft diffused light, and in most cases easier to connect to locals. Sketchy areas are less dangerous in the morning too. Trustworthy hardworking folks wake up early on; touts, fraudsters, and thieves sleep in. 3. Laugh At Yourself You will definitely appear like a fool often when traveling in order to new locations. Rather than acquire embarrassed, giggle at yourself. Don’t be afraid for you to screw up, and don’t take lifestyle so critically. Once a total bus brimming with Guatemalans laughed together with glee after i forced each of our driver to avoid so I could urgently urinate on the side of the trail. Returning to public transit and joking with them gave me new pals for the rest of your journey. 4. Stash Extra Cash Financial resources are king across the world. To cover your own ass for unexpected expenses, make sure to put some in some different locations. I recommend at the very least a couple hundred money worth. In case you lose your bank account, your greeting card stops working, or ATMs uses up money, you’ll be happy you did. Some of my favorite hide spots consist of socks, under shoe inserts, any toiletry bag, throughout the frame of an backpack, even sewn behind a patch on the bag. 5. Meet Residents Make it a point to prevent other travelers from time to time and start conversations together with local people. Standard English is spoken extensively all over the world, consequently it’s easier to talk than it might seem, especially when you combine hand gestures and body language. Learn from people that live in the country you’re visiting. People enrich the travels greater than sights accomplish. 6. Bunch A Scarf I happen to work with a shemagh, but sarongs also work great. This simple piece of 100 % cotton cloth is one of my best travel accessories with many different practical applications. It’s great for protection from the sun, a makeshift towel, transporting stuff all around, an eye face mask, and much more. 7. Observe Daily Life If you actually want to get a sense of the pulse of the place, I recommend spending a few hours sitting in a park or perhaps on a hectic street nook by yourself only watching life happen in front of you. Decelerate your educate of imagined and pay attention to the details near you. The aromas, the colors, human interactions, and also sounds. It’s a type of meditation : and you’ll see stuff you never ever noticed before. 8. Back again Everything Upward When my laptop computer was stolen in Panama, getting most of our important paperwork and pictures backed up rescued my bum. Keep each digital and also physical copies of your passport, visas, driver’s license, birth record, health insurance credit card, serial numbers, and important numbers ready to go in the event of an emergency. Back-up your files & photos with an external hard drive along with online along with software just like Backblaze. 9. Get Lots Of Images You may just see these places & fulfill these people once in your lifetime. Remember them eternally with plenty of pictures. Don’t worry about looking like a “tourist”. Are you currently traveling to search cool? No-one cares. Best place to travel in May will be the ultimate memento. They don’t expense anything, they’re very easy to share with others, and they don’t undertake space inside your luggage. Bare in mind once you have your current shot to leave out from powering the lens and enjoy the watch. 10. There’s Constantly A Way There's nothing impossible. If you are having trouble planning somewhere or even doing a thing, don’t give up. You simply haven’t found the top solution or even met the right person but. Don’t listen to people that say it can’t be achieved. Perseverance settles. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve discovered what I would like isn’t possible, just to prove the idea wrong afterwards when I don’t tune in to the advice and check out anyway. 11. Smile & Say Hello Experiencing difficulty interacting with locals? Do individuals seem malicious? Maybe it’s your system language. One of my best travel guidelines is to eye contact is key and laugh as you walk by. Should they smile back, say hi there in the local terminology too. This can be a fast strategy to make fresh friends. An individual can’t expect everybody to just walk around which has a big ridiculous grin on their own face. That’s your job. Usually it merely requires for you to begin contact and also they’ll open up. 12. Splurge A Bit I’m a huge supporter of spending budget travel, as it lets you travel longer and also experience many fascinating world all of us live in as opposed to waste the hard-earned money on items you don’t need. In reality you can travel a multitude of locations for $50 per day with no difficulties. That said, residing on a tight gets old after a while. It’s wonderful (and balanced) to go over your financial budget occasionally. E-book a few days at a nice motel, eat out at a fancy cafe, or spend a wild night time on the town. 13. Keep An objective balance Don’t judge the actual lifestyles involving others in case different from your personal. Listen to thoughts you don’t accept. It’s arrogant to imagine your landscapes are right and other people are generally wrong. Exercise empathy and hang yourself in someone else’s shoes. Embrace various possibilities, chances, people, ideas and hobbies. Ask questions. You don’t have to acknowledge, but you could possibly be surprised precisely what you’ll learn. 14. Try Couchsurfing Couchsurfing.internet is a significant online community involving travelers which share his or her spare suites or sofas with strangers for free. If you truly want to get a country and also it’s people, staying with a local may be the way to go. There are many couchsurfers around the world willing to host as well as provide tips. Expensive hotels aren't the sole option, you can find all kinds of low cost travel accommodation options available. 15. Provide Occasionally Make an effort to you are not selected some of your time and energy for advantageous projects when traveling. Not only is it a very rewarding knowledge, but you’ll typically learn more about the country and its people while also producing new buddies. There’s a great website called Grassroots Volunteering where you can seek out highly recommended you are not selected opportunities throughout the world. 16. Pack Ear Plugs This should actually be #1 on the list. I love my ear plugs! Muffle the sounds of crying babies, inebriated Australians, shouting dogs, honking horns, compact sex, gas main salesmen, and more. A traveler’s best friend. These are the best earplugs pertaining to comfort & effectiveness. 17. Don’t Be Afraid The world isn't nearly as hazardous as the advertising makes it over to be. Look out for risky situations however don’t let that function as focus of your respective whole vacation. Use common sense and you’ll become ok. Many people are friendly, honest, generous, as well as willing to help you out. This goes for women too. I realize I’m not a lady, but I’ve achieved plenty of seasoned female vacationers who consent. 18. Wander away On Purpose If you wish to see the elements of town exactly where real people live & perform, you need to move visit these people. The best way to try this is on foot - without knowing exactly where you’re proceeding. Write down the brand of your motel so you can get a taxi back again if needed, next just pick a direction and commence walking. Don’t fret too much about stumbling directly into dangerous neighborhoods either, while locals will generally warn a person before you get that will far. 19. Eat Local Food Consider you already know precisely what Mexican foodstuff tastes like? You’re probably drastically wrong. Taste a bit of everything once you travel, especially if you don’t determine what it is. Inquire local people pertaining to recommendations. Try to eat street food from suppliers with massive lines out and about front. I’ve already been very sick and tired only twice in my moves. Don’t be scared from the food. 20. Say Yes Usually Be intuition and say yes when someone aimlessly invites you to meet their family, try a fresh activity, or explore a place you didn’t understand existed. It’s these unexpected along with unplanned conditions that add spice on your travels and always turn into the top stories afterwards. Accept your kindness regarding strangers once you travel - you’ll have plenty of opportunities. 21. Slow Down You should don’t try to stack 6 countries into 6 weeks of travel. Each of the good stuff occurs you really invest time to explore. You’ll find out about activities in which aren’t in your manual and meet up with people who are needing to show you around. I can seriously say that Probably none of my best travel encounters happened inside first few era of arriving somewhere. Spend more time in fewer places for maximum enjoyment. 22. Retain Good Notes My memory for specifics sucks. Initially when i first started traveling the world Four years ago, My partner and i didn’t keep a good journal, and now I’m regretting this. Information like the names of folks I fulfilled, conversations I had created, feelings of a new encounter, or exactly what a particular town smelled like. If you happen to want to come up with your journeys, these details are usually handy. Currently I use an amazing note-taking app named Evernote, which I use as my 2nd mind. So a good choice for all kinds of programs - via planning excursions to journaling about them after. 23. Break Out Of Your Comfortable zone Challenge yourself to try items that normally give you anxiety. Greater you do this, the more that will anxiety can fade away. Not a hiker? Embark on more hikes. Have trouble speaking with strangers? Speak to everyone. Fearful of weird meals? Eat the weirdest thing you can find. The reason this particular works so well while traveling is simply because everything is currently so diverse, what’s one more new/uncomfortable experience? 24. Don’t Plan Too Much My partner and i cringe any time readers inquire how many nights they should spend in a specific country or perhaps city. The fact remains I have little idea what you’ll take pleasure in or that you’ll meet. I figured I’d rocket by way of Nicaragua in a week or perhaps two, but ended up living there with regard to 4 weeks. My advice is to choose a starting point, A couple of must-do activities, plus an ending position (or not). And then just let your universe establish the rest. 25. Pack Much less Stuff You don’t need 1/2 the gear you think one does to travel everywhere. We’ve all done it. It’s a right regarding passage for travelers for you to slowly become better in packing much less. My very first backpack had been 70 liters jam-packed full, my current tote is only 38 liters. As a full-time vagabond, every little thing I own fits on my own back. When you’re not sure regarding packing a thing, you don’t want it. It’s also possible to buy most things at your destination country if you learn you need these people. 26. Listen To Podcasts Podcasts are great. It’s like making your own personal r / c station as well as filling that with exhibits and audio you always wish to listen to. I never thought I’d actually look forward to a 10 hour bus ride. But with podcasts, it’s achievable (well, providing the seats are comfortable). Time will fly by as you listen to amazing storytelling, fun audio, or interview with experts. Here are some involving my favorites: This specific American Living, The Moth, Threat!, Radiolab, Smart Residual income, and Electro-Swing. 27. Treat The body Well Travel may throw your system out of setback. When you’re moving from place to place it’s difficult to maintain a workout routine, and many of us slack off. Or perhaps we don’t slumber enough. As well as we take in too many cupcakes. I’m guilty of not necessarily flossing our teeth. Make sure to be great to your physique. Get enough sleep, drink lots of water, eat healthy, use sunscreen, and workout often (look at this bodyweight schedule, no gym required!). And, yes, using dental floss too I assume. 28. Stay In Touch Remember to call your family & buddies from time to time. Possibly surprise them and move old-school by mailing a postcard (it’s from the mail, Mum!). Travel isn’t lonely, definately not it. An individual constantly meet up with other people. But much of those interactions are brief. So keeping a strong connection with the people who recognize you best is essential. 29. Leave The Usual Path I realize it’s cliché, but you need to still attempt it. Look for interesting and uncommon places that don’t see much vacation. Many remarkable travel experiences get happened to us in places that are not easy to visit. Of course travel to common sites, but don’t rule out other areas just because they’re this is not on the vacationer trail. Though please realize that just because a region is remote control or unsafe doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll possess a life-changing experience. 30. Don’t Forget Travel Insurance plan No one at any time thinks they’ll get sick, injured, as well as robbed while on a trip. But it occurs. I’ve sliced up my head on a volcano, contracted Dengue a fever, and misplaced my mobile computer to robbers. With travel insurance you don’t need to panic about huge clinic bills or stolen products when it eventually happens. For many kinds of journeys ranging from a new weekend up to a few months lengthy, I always suggest World Nomads Insurance. 31. Travel More! In case there’s one thing I’ve noticed over the past Six years, it’s that numerous people home love to figure out how blessed I am although making excuses why that they can’t travel. It’s too expensive. That they can’t get time off work. Who will supply their animals? When I propose solutions to these kind of “problems”, they nevertheless don’t take action. The reason why? Because they’re frequently hiding guiding the true cause: they’re scared. Sadly most people that wait for you to travel the world in no way do. A person don’t need to offer all your life possessions and become a displaced vagabond like me. Merely get out there a lot more than you do today. Start with a weekend in the different state. Then maybe get one of these week in the nation next door. The modern car, redesigning project, and iPhone may wait. In case you truly want to travel more, you possibly can make it occur. Career fails are probable. You have friends who would wish to watch your dogs and cats. It’s a big, beautiful, exciting, and engaging world out there. Discover some of it currently, rather than later on. ? Travel The World Want to know how to travel the actual world? I’ve put together a tremendous page brimming with useful world travel sources that should point you from the right course. Learn how My spouse and i fund my personal adventures, how to locate cheap plane tickets, how to save money for travel, just how start a travel website, and more.

[swimintothesound]

The Crossroads Between Objectivity and Nostalgia

Something I’ve spent the majority of my “adult” life grappling with is the intersection between art and nostalgia. It’s a concept that I’ve only recently come to recognize but has essentially acted as the thesis for this entire blog without me even knowing it. As a result, this post feels like what the past year’s worth of writing on here has been building towards.

Reflecting on my most recent metalcore-infested post I began to think “why do I love these albums so much?” Even within that blog where I’m gushing over these albums, I repeatedly felt the need to clarify that I don’t think they’re great feats of art. Is that because I’m embarrassed of liking them? Probably… But there’s more to it than that.

In that same post, I also talked about my positive (or not-so-positive) memories associated with each album, and I even gave a wine-like pairing of what I was doing while listening to each album. Earlier this week Of Mice & Men surprise released a new song called “Back To Me” with their new line-up sans-Carlile. It’s always a bummer to see someone leave a band (especially due to health-related issues) but it’s also a bummer to hear a band without the member that you held most dear. Listening to the new song led me down a Tidal-binge on the rest of the band’s greatest hits. Over their eight years as a band OM&M have undergone a significant shift in sound, transitioning from breakdown-heavy metalcore, then nu-metal, and more recently full-on buttrock. It’s not a transition I love, but God knows I respect their freedom to chase that artistic dragon. When I pressed play on the band’s 2011 standout O.G. Loko I realized something: when all’s said and done, this track (from an album I’ve barely listened to) didn’t sound all that different from the band’s 2010 album that I hold so dear. Someone coming to the band from an outside perspective would probably find the two indistinguishable.

A brief history of Of Mice & Men

I’ll be the first to admit metalcore is a genre that breeds repetition and cookie-cutter behavior. Fans know what they want, and most bands are happy to give it to them. That’s another one of the reasons I respect OM&M’s shift toward nu-metal and away from their origins: it’s a risk. At the end of the day, there’s not that much of a different between the band’s first album and the second. The difference for me was that I listened to the first ravenously during an awesome time in my life, and only listened to the second a few times at most. There’s probably someone a year my junior who feels the exact same way about the band’s second album compared to their third. And so on and so forth.

To get away from metalcore (and back to myself) I’ve spent the last several months ranking and re-ranking my favorite albums of all time. Some of the categories like classic rock were easy. Not only because it’s a genre I’ve been listening to my entire life, but those albums and songs have saturated our culture for decades. There’s some sort of rough consensus in the collective unconscious that The Beatles are great… and you know what? I agree. Because of this weird conflux of pop culture, history, and personal experiences, I can easily say that Abbey Road is not only my favorite Beatles album, it’s also an incredible piece of art that I feel no shame (or risk) in elevating on a high pedestal.

Then I look at hip-hop. The genre’s been around since long before I was born, but it was a genre I only started to personally engage with a few years ago. As a result, most of my favorite hip-hop albums are from that exact time frame. I know they’re not all “incredible” (at least not as incredible as Abbey Road) but part of that is recognizing my own inexperience with the genre. I know, I know, I know there’s older hip-hop I need to listen to that are essentially as “classic” as Abbey Road, but it takes time and effort to become fluent in a genre. I have barely listened to Jay-Z, UGK, Madvillain, Biggie, 2 Pac, and a whole host of other artists that I know are great. It’s like that guy who hasn’t watched Star Wars. He knows it’s a good movie, but you incredulously asking “Seriously? You haven’t watched STAR WARS?” just discourages him. 

I recently watched Casablanca for the first time a week ago (shout out to Mother’s Day). That’s a movie that’s frequently held up with Citizen Kane and Godfather as “literally the best movie of all time.” For years I’ve known that it’s great. It’s been on my “to watch” list… and you know what? It was pretty good. What can I add to the conversation about Casablanca that hasn’t been said before besides ‘yep, everyone was right, it is really good.’ There are other movies like Fight Club and From Dusk Till Dawn that I recognize aren’t peaks of cinematic triumph or artistic feats like Casablanca is, but you know what? I like them more. I like them more because I’ve seen them more, I’ve had more time to digest them, and I have more positive memories tied to them. That doesn’t mean they’re better than Casablanca, but I like them far more.

Back to music. 

In creating that list of my favorite albums I’ve fudged a lot of genres, added categories, and made incredibly arbitrary distinctions, all because I wanted to fit more albums on there. I don’t put all those genres or albums on the same level. My favorite metalcore album does not stack up to my favorite classic rock album, that’s comparing apples to oranges. Or apples to pool cues.

A separate conversation within this is exactly how long an album should take to be placed among your “favorites.” And even more: what about an album that’s new to you, but “classic” within its own field?

Up until this year… Hell, up until a couple months ago, I’d never listened to The Strokes debut album Is This It. Until 2017 the only three Strokes songs I’d heard were “Reptilia” (shoutout Rock Band 1), “New York City Cops” (shoutout iTunes DJ, you will be missed), and “When It Started” (shoutout Spider-Man 1 soundtrack). Ironic since “New York City Cops” and “When It Started” were swapped on the US version of Is This It due to 9/11… but I’m getting wildly off-topic here.

Pictured: A bastion of high art 

The point is that it took me seventeen fucking years to listen to one of the greatest “indie” records of my lifetime… But is it fair for me to claim that? Sure I like Is This It a lot, but I’ve only listened to it about 10 times according to last.fm. So is consensus swaying my perception? Is two-decade-old critical acclaim forcing me to enjoy an album more than I really do? Is personal shame making me think higher of the record than I should be? Maybe, but I don’t think so. Is This It is great, no matter how you cut it. Removed of nostalgia, I enjoyed it and continue to play it every couple days.

Meanwhile, another album that didn’t quite make the cut into my favorites list was 2016’s Psychopomp by Japanese Breakfast. It’s an album that I adore, but (again) I’ve only had a handful of months to really sit with the album and let it marinate. As much as I wanted to say ‘this is one of my favorite indie albums’ I couldn’t quite bring myself to do it. This is an album I’ve listened to more than the Strokes, yet it didn’t carry the acclaim of “definitive album of the 2000’s” and thus I didn’t feel comfortable ranking it up against the classics. Same with Car Seat Headrest’s Teens of Denial. I love the album, but I don’t feel comfortable enough with my personal feelings toward it, nor its place in history to confidently place it amongst my favorites of all time.

I’ll admit I’m overthinking all this. All these albums and movies are great, and at the end of the day, nobody really gives a shit about my “list” or ranking of these albums. Yet this is a concept I’ve been struggling with lately on an artistic level. How can you stack an album that you’ve been listening to for a decade up against anything else? How can a movie that been heralded as the greatest of all time (for 75 fucking years) really compare to anything that I’ve seen a dozen times? How do you even begin to compare the two? 

To bring this full-circle (and give a total cop-out answer) I think the answer is a case of “beauty is in the eyes of the beholder.” Those two OM&M albums are great. I think they’re an acquired taste for sure, but an outsider to the genre would probably hear two songs next to each other and probably think ‘these are different songs?’ 

I think all these qualifiers are sliders. Personal history. Critical acclaim. History. Context. Time. are inextricable from art. I guess I’d argue the art can still be judged on its own in a vacuum, but that’s not how anyone judges it… ever. We hear, see, and experience things on our own terms.

I guess if anything I’m arguing that personal history (nostalgia) is one of the most powerful influencers when it comes to my interpretation and experience of art. I use music like a time-traveling drug. You know that feeling when the holidays hit and you hear “Silent Night” for the first time? I have a calendar year’s worth of songs like that. I have albums that bring me back to distinct times, years, and moments in my life. I love that art can do that. I love that this coming August I can put on Frank Ocean’s Blonde and it will transport me directly back to Summer 2016. That kind of personal connection to music is something that can (sadly) never be duplicated. The beautiful part is that we all have our own narratives like that. We all have a list of albums… or movies…. or food… or podcasts… or whatever that evoke something within us. I’m just far more obsessive about documenting my own. 

My own history. My own context. Some far-off part of my own mind is the reason that I don’t like one Of Mice & Men album as much as it’s nearly-identical predecessor. Unfortunately, that conflux is something that can never be fully translated or explained no matter how hard we try. That unique perspective is the one thing we share, even if nothing’s shared. And that’s what we bring to art. That little piece of us that adds onto to something that’s already an inherently human and beautiful and pure creation. It’s what makes art beautiful. It’s what makes the world beautiful.