#evan/rodney

[massharp1971]

Excerpt: “You fucking bastard!” Rodney shouted loud enough to make Evan’s ears hurt. “You left! Without a fucking word! I didn’t know it was happening until I saw you stepping through the fucking wormhole, you absolute piece of shit!”

Rodney McKay did not usually swear – he was far too precise in his language for that. The weird part of it was, Evan felt as if this was the exact diatribe he would have gotten had Rodney spoken to him the day after he left. It almost made him feel like no time had passed at all. At least McKay hadn’t iced over the way Ronon apparently had.

“Rodney,” Evan said, softening his voice in counterpoint, “I didn’t know myself, but I had to.” 

Rodney crossed his arms and lifted his chin – such a classic McKay pose, and Evan appreciated the lines of his muscled arms, the softness of the weight he’d gained, the slight wildness of his hair, even the fury that animated him right now.

“You believed in us – or at least I thought you did. An independent Atlantis, free of the American military. Where was your loyalty to us?”

The same old pain stabbed in Evan’s chest.

“I do believe in Atlantis, and I hope history shows I haven’t done anything to betray her.”

Rodney faltered at this because of course it was true – Evan hadn’t hurt Atlantis’ independence, he might have even helped it from the other side, but he had hurt the people he loved. He still wished with all of his tired heart that he’d been able to stay five years ago and support the folks who had become family to him through this time of incredible change. 

He knew he couldn’t just walk back into his old life – things were every bit as hard as he expected them to be, but still he wanted.

He sat down heavily on Rodney’s couch, feeling suddenly beyond exhausted.

“I know I hurt you deeply. I’d give anything not to have done that, Rodney.”

“Just so we’re clear, I want to hurt you until you feel half as bad as you made me feel,” Rodney said. “And John. And Ronon.”

“I already did that to myself,” Evan said quietly, tears rising in his eyes. “I decimated myself and it never healed in all this time.”

“Well good, because that’s what you did to us. Decimated. Entirely fucked,” Rodney said bitterly.

“Except for the fact you got Atlantis. A free Atlantis. And you finally got John, too.”

Rodney looked at him levelly, his face acknowledging the truth of this.

“Do you mind?” he asked.

“God, Rodney, yes I mind – that you’re both happy, that you have what you wanted, it eases some small amount of my pain to know that. I mind about your happiness a great deal.”

“Oh,” Rodney said, looking deflated. “Actually, I am. We are… Happy, I mean.”

“Well, I’m glad,” Evan said.

And he was. He’d been expecting those two to get together since he met them – was surprised when he found out they weren’t, was even more surprised when he found they happily swung his way but still hadn’t figured out how they felt about each other.

“The thing is, Evan, it only happened because of you,” Rodney said.

“Because I left?” Evan asked, confused.

Rodney looked at him a little resentfully.

“No… because… because you loved me. Because I didn’t know how to let myself be loved until you.”

It was sweet, really, even though Rodney’s voice sounded bitter. But then, McKay had always been a full flavoured kind of human, you had to enjoy a good dose of chili in your chocolate to love someone like Rodney.

“You know what the worst part of it is?” Rodney asked.

And suddenly there were tears in his eyes, and Evan’s heart broke a little more.

“Go on,” he prompted.

“Not for one moment did I have the luxury of thinking you were just an asshole who didn’t care as much as you pretended to. I actually knew your heart would be breaking, and somewhat infuriatingly I cared about that as much as about my own heartbreak. You opened my heart up and then left it like an untended wound.”

“I’m sorry,” Evan said, feeling the agony of that decision as if it just happened. “And you’re right, it hurt like you can’t imagine. Still hurts.”

“What was it like, being without Atlantis?” Rodney suddenly looked horrified, as if it was hard to even contemplate.

“Every bit as tough as you’re imagining. But for me, losing my family was harder. Losing you .”

Rodney suddenly looked doubtful. 

“Oh please, you’re only making it right with me so you can get back with John.”

“You know that’s not true, Rodney. You know I don’t operate that way. I love you, I love John, I love Ronon.”

“You have to make it right with Ronon too,” Rodney said. “Although… that’s going to take some time, I think.”

“Yeah, I don’t think Ronon is going to accept any overture from me,” Evan said. “I just have to wait it out, and he may never come round.”

“His hurt was the deepest,” Rodney told him. “His abandonment issues are the biggest. Even bigger than John’s. He’s lost too much, Evan.”

“That may be true,” Evan said thoughtfully.

He couldn’t bear to think about what he’d done to Ronon, but right now he was focused on the man in front of him.

“Rodney,” he said, tentatively reaching for McKay’s hand. “You’ve had more than enough hurt and loss of your own, and I’m sorry, truly sorry for the pain I caused you.”

“I do actually understand why, you know. I’m not completely insensitive.”

“You’re anything but insensitive. You feel things deeply. It’s one of the reasons I love you.”

Rodney’s eyes widened as if that was news to him.

“Still?” Rodney said, looking somewhat incredulous. “You still…?”

And there was the sweet, vulnerable man Evan adored. He really could not prevent himself from leaning forward and kissing Rodney gently.

He was aiming for tender, but he was met with fierce coming at him from the other direction in a full-frontal attack. Rodney devoured his lips, bruising and biting, and it was everything. 

“Bed, now,” Rodney said, when they came up for air sometime later.

“I agree,” Evan said, breathlessly.

read more on ao3

[halestrom]

Ask promp: Mclorne, and

“Can we pretend I didn’t just say that?"

“Fuck you’re hot.”

The room went silent, and everyone turned to stare at him, and for the first time since he was sixteen he felt himself blush. He could see Sheppard watching him in amusement, and Ronon and Teyla were both trying not to smile. He opened his mouth and closed it again, trying to figure out how to get himself out of the hole he had dug himself into, and if he could get through this without dying from embarrassment.

But the stunned blue eyes told him he wouldn’t be getting away with it that easily.

Evan shifted, shoving his hands into his pockets. “Can we pretend I didn’t say that?” he asked, meeting Rodney’s eyes.

Rodney frowned slightly. “I…uh…well you might be able to but I’m not going to anytime soon.”

“John, Ronon. Can I talk to you outside?”

IT was as subtle as a battering ram as Teyla ushered the other two out of the room, and Evan could see Sheppard giving him a warning look right before the flap to the tent closed, leaving him with Rodney, half dressed in some local ceremonial leather vest that showed off his arms and made his shoulders even wider.

Evan wanted to climb him like a tree.

“Did you mean it?” Rodney asked, crossing his arms over his chest and making his biceps bulge.

“Uh…yes,” Evan said, feeling sixteen years old again.

“Oh.”

They stood in awkward silence for a moment before Rodney lifted his chin and stared at Rodney. “You’re hot too, and I don’t want to pretend you didn’t say that.”

Evan stared for a moment, before he grinned. “Yeah?”

“Yes. Now let’s go, sooner we get through this stupid thing the sooner we can be back home and go on a date.”

For a second Evan though about teasing Rodney, but he could see worried glance and he settled for nodding. “It’s a date,” he said, ushering Rodney out in front of him.

Because it was his job to help protect the other man.

And had nothing to do with the ceremonial leather pants at all.

[doctorjaltoid]

Hey guys..

[sga-owns-my-soul]

thinking about lorne in the last man

thinking about how he probably blamed himself for everything that went wrong in that timeline because he was with teyla when she was taken and he was the last one to see john before he disappeared

thinking about how lorne lost everyone and still kept going

thinking about how he probably tried so hard to get into a position of some sort of power so he could do his absolute goddamn best to make sure no one else was ever lost again

thinking about how he probably knew rodney was right about the timeline and knew john coming back could make it right and that's why he approved rodney going back to atlantis

just thinking about lorne in the last man

[autistic-crypt1d]

[carsonsweebabyturtles]

Evan Lorne in Every Episode - Tao of Rodney (S03E14)

It's been a good while since we've seen the good Major. He comes back in this episode and of course there's very few good opportunities for a decent screen shot or two.

Nevermind, next episode is The Game 😏

[spockvarietyhour]

Stargate Atlantis "Search and Rescue"

[celluloidrainbow]

BROTHER TO BROTHER (2004) dir. Rodney Evans Black art student Perry lives in the college dormitory at Columbia University after his homophobic parents kick him out of home when they discover he is gay. At a social loose end, Perry befriends an elderly, impoverished black man named Bruce, whom he discovers was an important figure in the Harlem Renaissance. Through recalling his friendships with other important Harlem Renaissance figures Langston Hughes, Aaron Douglas, Wallace Thurman, and Zora Neale Hurston, Bruce chronicles some of the challenges he faced as a young, black gay writer in the 1920s. (link in title)

[shinewonder]

random things

[ghostlyfanparadise]

[halestrom]

a story and an image in concert with @trainofcommand

[universechaser]

Anyone remember the episode where Ronon is kinda playing with his gun and it makes Teyla smile? I wanna say it’s at the very beginning of the episode and it’s a very blink and you’ll miss it moment

[evanwevand]

More Spanish Gerald, haven't forgotten about him

(Dr. Rodney Javier Ibáñez Gerald)

[lightthewaybackhome]

I enjoyed watching the Game and the Ark together because they stand in contrast to each other as the best and worst of Sheppard and McKay.

In the Game we see McKay's arrogance and Sheppard's aggression unmitigated by any of their other virtues spread through a whole culture. Both of them are plagued with stubbornness and unwillingness to see the other side of the picture. Sheppard and McKay have to work overtime to try and keep their worst sides from hurting each other. I think this is a major part of their friendship.

McKay has almost no friends because he's so hard to work with. It's shown in such a hysterical way when Nola refuses to believe that Baden's citrus fruit is anything but an insult.

Sheppard too struggles in the friend department because he's aggressive and doesn't follow the rules. Baden actually cheats at the game and orders the attack on Nola and her people. This shows Sheppard as a man who, mostly before the responsibilities of Atlantis settle on his shoulders, might have just been a bit too quick to pick a fight.

Oddly, McKay finds a friend in Sheppard, and Sheppard a friend in McKay. They are proof that Nola and Baden aren't one dimensional, and can not only get along but thrive together.

(Also, I will always love Sheppard beating McKay at chess at the end and I will always love LORNE! and Radak playing the game.)

The Ark stands in total contrast to the Game. It is Sheppard and McKay's qualities dialed up. It is Sheppard talking McKay down from panic, calming Ronon with a promised fight to the death, knowing Atlantis (LORNE!) will come for them, fighting to save his team, and then willingly sacrificing himself for Teyla. The look on his face when he's breaking through the door is gold. He is a determined man ready to kill if you touch his people, which you did, so prepare to die.

The episode ends with Sheppard reiterating yet again that he would willingly give his life for any of them, even McKay.

Rodney is also at his best. Excited to explore, quick on his feet, comes up with solutions, listens to Sheppard, tries to save everyone, and tries to talk Sheppard out of risking his life. I love the moment he tells Lorne he's not going back to the Jumper because they don't leave their people behind, and Lorne gently agrees and explains that he's not leaving anyone behind.

Rodney may be quick to panic and quick to tell you how you're going to die, but he too will do anything for his team.

Watching these two episodes back to back is great because of the contrast they provide. Sheppard and McKay at their worst and then Sheppard and McKay as they are, which are two men who have worked against their worst traits for the sake of others.

...and next is Sunday. Big, sad sigh.

[carsonsweebabyturtles]

A Series of Unfortunate Screen Caps - Sunday

[pantocatcher]

Atlantis (and SG1) as things my friends and I have said pt2

for some reason I never posted these??? but these were fun to make