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theartofmedia · 5 years ago

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The Art of Review: YIIK: A Postmodern RPG

I have been sitting here for about two hours with this tab open, trying to find out how to properly introduce this. At the time of writing this (May 7, 2019, 10:02 PM), I have just finished watching YIIK several hours ago. However, I have been doing just about everything to avoid actually writing about it, because I have no idea how to ease the reader into this.

YIIK is so reprehensible that I created this segment--”The Art of Review”--because I needed to talk about this game. I needed to explain just why this game fails on every single account, and is so blatantly offensive. Initially, I was going to do a piece on something creator Andrew Allanson had said about games and his protagonist, Alex. It had to do with character development, and a common criticism was Alex’s sheer lack of it; naturally, I decided to watch a walkthrough online in order to see this for myself first-hand.

I was not prepared for what I saw. I have never had to take as many breaks from any media before due to sheer anger at what I was witnessing. I have never seen a game that fails in every single sense, that is regarded as such high art by its developers. Except maybe David Cage, but he’s a topic for another day.

YIIK: A Postmodern RPG is one of the worst pieces of media I have ever had the displeasure of viewing... probably in my entire life. I wish I was exaggerating.

Before I go any further, I would like give immense credit to GrandmaParty and the others at the Something Awful forums for doing an LP of the game with commentary and cutting out the fights. GrandmaParty graciously linked the thread to me--which is full of sources that I will also be linking to throughout this piece--and made the entire game tolerable enough for me to power through. It wouldn’t have happened without you guys, so thank you very much for extending a hand to a small creator trying to get her footing in the world. <3

I will also be linking to the various episodes of GrandmaParty’s LP with timestamped links to show particular scenes or dialogue. I’ve heard that one Andrew Allanson likes to say that people doctored screenshots of his game to make him look bad. Sorry, but I don’t like being accused of forgery, so I’m going to just preemptively strike that claim down.

Now then. This is going to be a big, long review. Allow me to tell you how we’ll be separating this.

We’re going to have two main sections: a non-spoiler review, and a spoiler review. This is mainly due to the fact that a lot of the game’s issues come from its mess of a story, one that can only be understood fully if you’ve seen it through to the end (and its multiple endings).

But let me be clear here.

DO NOT BUY THIS GAME.

Don’t buy it for a laugh. Don’t buy it to see how bad it is. It’s broken, it’s offensive, and the creators and proven themselves time and time again to be genuinely awful and prejudiced people. Do not give these people money.

The non-spoiler and spoiler sections will be divided into subsections, which may also have subsections of their own.

With that said... let’s begin my review of YIIK: A Postmodern RPG.

Non-Spoiler Review

Plot:

The plot of YIIK (it’s pronounced like Y2K, but I’m going to pronounce it as ‘yick’ personally) follows Alex, a freshly-graduated college student, and the strange events that begin to occur once he returns to his hometown of Frankton. He follows a cat to an old factory/hotel, where he meets Sammy, a young woman who appears to live there. When she is taken by some mysterious creatures in front of Alex, he begins a journey to try and find out what happened to her, and begins to make discoveries that could endanger the very fabric of the universe. In theory, at least. In reality, the story is an absolute clusterfuck of vague metaphysics, and the rules of the world were never clearly established, so everything just becomes an incoherent mess.

Characters:

The characters are bare-bones at best and absolutely insufferable at worst. Alex especially is infamous among critics and detractors of the game for his arrogance, ignorance, underlying racism/sexism we’ll get to that, and lack of properly-written development. I’m not going to go into full detail with Alex just yet--there will be an entirely separate post on him. Something also to keep in mind that general consensus appears to be that Alex is an author-insert for Andrew Allanson. Whether that is or isn’t true is frankly up to the viewer, but there’s no definitive proof of it.

(Oh!!! Quick thing!! This image here keeps circulating around--this person is not Andrew! That is someone named Cr33pyDude on both Twitter and Reddit! He just so happens to look like the main character. Don’t rag on this guy, everyone, he doesn’t have anything to do with this shitshow. <3)

Most of the other characters are bland and underdeveloped, but all have potential to be better (Rory especially, in my personal opinion) if they were in the hands of a better writer. The female characters, though... either they are fawning over Alex, being written as nagging and overbearing, or having so little significance that taking them out entirely would change nothing. Don’t worry, we’ll get to that. Other NPCs are forgettable, and enemies are out-of-place monsters that hold no consequence to the story.

Writing:

And the writing--dear god the writing. The writers don’t know the phrase “show, don’t tell.” So frequently would Alex monologue about nothing. Upon coming back from seeing a woman get taken by supernatural creatures, he goes home and reflects--only to go on a tangent about his mother. Immediately after that, he goes on a rant about p/o/r/n/ when sent an email and how girls that he used to go to school with wouldn’t be doing “particularly unladylike” things. And the entire game is like this. Alex will go on pseudo-philosophical rants to himself, and they reveal nothing about his character except that he thinks he’s better than everyone else. He’ll also frequently describe things as though talking to someone--while this does get explained later, it still is completely frustrating when the narrative says “I said this and she said that” instead of just having dialogue or actions between characters. A lot of the dialogue doesn’t exactly... sound like anything a human would say. It’s stilted and unnatural.

Graphics:

The graphics are... bad. Really bad. The style is supposed to be a throwback to old-school, very polygonal games, but environments lack any and all actual texture, making them incredibly flat and uninteresting at best and painful for the eyes at worst. Everything is extremely colorful, but in the sense of neon colors. Everything is so bright and vibrant, and there is barely a place where someone’s eyes can rest--it’s balance in art. Brightness like this needs to be contrasted with darker, more muted shades, or else it just hurts to look at. The viewer’s eyes need places to rest, and the muted shades allow them that reprieve. You don’t get that with YIIK. It’s just a constant bombardment of colors and lights, to the point where if you are sensitive to these kinds of things, you may not want to look even at game footage unless you’re prepared. The character portraits are fine, even if some expressions are odd, but the in-game chibi-esque models are... bad. Really bad. They’re so uncanny and unsettling, and their expressions almost never change. (Also Alex has detailed teeth and it’s just as horrifying as you might think.)

Music/Audio:

The music is. Awful? It’s awful. It’s genuinely really bad. Case in point: one of the boss battle themes. You can hear this poor guy trying so hard to put power behind his voice, but it just sounds unnatural and strained. (Also he clips the mic at some points, and the balancing in general is. Bad.) He’s out-of-tune and occasionally off-beat, and it just makes for a very unpleasant listening experience. And a lot of the music is like this, being just an assault on the ears. The one real exception to this is the track “Into the Mind” made by one Toby Fox, presumably before he made Undertale and was doing freelance work. (He has since deleted his tweet promoting it. Screenshot of the tweet here, courtesy of @GameTheoryRejects.) The audio in general is poor, with irritating sound effects, occasional distorted audio that’s supposed to be scary but is so poorly done that it just hurts to listen to, and voice acting that’s lackluster at best and utterly emotionless at worst.

Gameplay:

Full disclosure: I did not personally play the game. But just looking at it shows how irritating, slow, clunky, and repetitive it is. Each character has a minigame that you play in order to attack, defend, use special attacks, and even run away. These minigames, unlike in something like the Mario & Luigi series, are slow, drawn-out, and completely break up the flow of the fight. And none of the other characters matter then anyway, because turns out if you max out your LUK stat, you can use a particular move that hits all enemies and completely one-shot them from critical damage. (And this move can even glitch out the game in some cases!) The menus are crowded and visually uninteresting, making everything sort of meld together. (Another minor criticism: YIIK has a tendency to put the player in unwinnable fights. You are never aware of what fights are winnable and which fights are designed to kill you. More on this later.)

Speaking of gameplay, the leveling system is... bizarre and tedious. You get EXP, but you don’t gain the ability to level up (yes that is an ability you have to gain) until a couple hours into the game. Leveling up is done in the Mind Dungeon, which you access from save points, and you have to go through doors that increase the stats you assign it. There are four doors per floor, and when you go to the next floor, you and all of your teammates (even if you haven’t met them in-game) level up. Sounds simple, right? Well. It’s slow and repetitive, and NOTHING HAPPENS. You walk in a door. You walk out the door. Rinse and repeat for 70 floors. (280 doors, by the way.) Here’s GrandmaParty doing this for an hour to get an idea of the tedium that this induces. You get to play a minigame when you banish certain enemies, but that serves less as ‘spicing up the gameplay’ and more of ‘adding more steps to this already-boring section.’

So to recap: Flat characters, word-salad plot, painful prose flat-out ugly graphics, backwards gameplay and leveling system.

Tl;dr: Game bad. Don’t buy it.

... This ends the non-spoiler portion of the review. And also the section where we start to talk about some... sensitive topics.

As such, I am going to issue a legitimate trigger warning: the following pieces talk about suicide/depression in detail, as well as physical & domestic abuse situations.

And a small content warning for those who aren’t legitimately triggered by these subjects but still feel uncomfortable reading about the following: homophobia/transphobia; sexism; racism; and the actual use of a real-life woman’s death as a plot device. No I am not fucking kidding about that last one.

So. Let’s get into the real shit about YIIK.

Spoiler Review

Plot:

Let’s start with the plot. There isn’t really a driving force for this plot; initially, it’s finding Semi “Sammy” Pak (well, everyone except Rory says “Park,” even though all of the written lines say “Pak,” so that’s great) after she is taken by mysterious figures. However, as the game progresses, the search becomes less about finding Sammy until she’s just a footnote, and becomes more about... meandering around the world going from one goal to another while fighting things. (The game points this out, but self-awareness doesn’t excuse the fact that it happens. Especially considering the upcoming plot points...)

Then the metaphysics start--people have been trying to decipher this world’s rules for a while with little success, so bear with me, I’m going to try to make as much sense of what we’re given as possible.

There exists a “place between places“ known as the Soul Space. It exists between parallel realities. A person can actually will themself into the Soul Space via... depression? One character, Vella, says that another character, Rory, left his body when he “surrendered himself to his misery” following the death of his younger sister, and explained herself that she fell into a deep depression as well before entering the Soul Space... but it’s not dying? Or it can be? Here Rory asks The Essentia 2000 oh we’ll get to her don’t you worry if dying means you enter the Soul Space. She says that it’s complicated. Her explanation boils down to, “if you care only about material goods and not about your bonds, when you die, you will cease to exist. If you don’t care about materialistic goods when you die, then ehhhhh???”

Also, if your reality is destroyed but you go into the Soul Space, you can become a Soul Survivor (aka the not-Starmen, seen in the cutscene with Vella and Rory linked above) and get stuck in other’s realities as you try to find a physical body. Also, people share a Soul across parallel realities--meaning, parallel versions of yourself would share the same Soul. But they’re not the same people. They have different lives, races, genders, names, but they share the same “Soul.” Only one person with that “Soul” can exist in a reality at a time, hence the form that the Soul Survivors take if they enter a reality where another person with that “Soul” lives. If, however, that person with your “Soul” is no longer in that reality, you can retake physical form and essentially take their place--though not as them, but as you.

And if you go into the Soul Space you apparently understand the secrets of the universe and are beyond normal human follies.

Confused yet? Me too, and I wrote this damn thing. The worldbuilding is so vague, and the players aren’t given set rules that the world plays by. Even when the more surrealist elements of the game start to appear, there should still be rules. Perhaps nonsensical rules, but rules nonetheless. Instead we get talk about Souls and parallel realities, scenes of bright colors and strange imagery that never gets explained or really acknowledged (other than a mention of them being “breaks in reality” like, once), and some plot twists that imply... a lot.

Let’s talk about the characters before we get to the ending.

Characters

Besides Alex, there are five major characters in YIIK:

Michael, who is Alex’s childhood friend and who doesn’t really have much relevance between the beginning and the end of the game. No, really, for the middle portion of the game, he doesn’t really do anything. He hangs around, that’s about it. He gains relevance again during the end of the game where he goes into the Soul Space and becomes Proto-Michael, and that... happens, I guess. I think it contributes to the revelation later on about reality breaking.

Vella is... a strange character. A strange character forced to contradict herself because the plot demands it. She’s shown to be a character who takes no shit, but also bends at the first flimsy apology Alex gives her. She is compassionate to someone like Rory, but spends most of her time calling out Alex. (And yet, somehow, they fall in love???) These notes I took previously on Vella’s first appearance show how what kind of walking contradiction that Vella is as a character:

”Stop creeping on me while i’m at work”

”Okay I’ll go to the house of two strangers who i just accused of perving on me, in the middle of my work shift, to look at these pictures of me on this website i’ve never heard of that can’t go wrong”

”So let me tell you about this traumatizing experience i had with a supernatural creature, saying how emotional and painful it was without any emotion in my voice”

”also i’m not going to tell you how I got to where the supernatural creature was because it’s very personal and I don’t know you and revealing that would make me vulnerable”

”By the way I’m going to give you my number as well as this other number for a training dungeon basically because I like you two”

... yeah,

Rory is probably my favorite character out of this dreck, and he deserves so, so much better than being in this shit. He’s a quiet scene kid who initially gets roped into the plot with the disappearance of his 12-year-old sister--turns out, however, that she killed herself, and Rory struggles with the resulting grief, trauma, and depression that follows. He’s a sweet kid who’s a pacifist, is teaching himself how to make games, knows a lot of random bits of information about many things, and overall deserves so much better than this game. Sorry Allansons you’ve lost your Rory privileges he is My son now

Claudio and Chondra... are just kind of there? Claudio’s a stereotypical weeb. Chondra is the “sassy black girl”/little sister type (which is later revealed to be even stranger, because she’s apparently a graduate student). They don’t have much outside of that, and that’s a shame, since they had a lot of potential to be really good. However, they also seem a bit... tacked on and included for diversity’s sake, as both of them mention racism at some point, and... yeah. The game isn’t very graceful with that topic, as I’ll soon get into.

There is also the character of Panda, who appears out of nowhere in the factory/hotel and is never questioned. It becomes very clear that he’s a figment of Alex’s imagination, and is Alex personifying him as his sort of “conscious“ when he is, in reality, only a stuffed bear. He only talks when Alex is alone. A lot of people really don’t like him, but I will admit that I got mildly emotional when he drifted away in space near the end--but only because I myself make stuffed animals and dolls, so nearly any stuffed animal holds a place in my heart. However, I can very much see why people wouldn’t like him at all.

Anyway.

The Fucking Ending:

So everyone just kind of meanders around for the middle portion of the game until surprise! On New Years’ Eve the world is going to be destroyed. Not just the world--the entire reality. And it’s going to be Alex’s fault, somehow. Also Sammy--who Alex becomes obsessed with--Vella--who is an explicit love interest for Alex--and an android--the previously-mentioned The Essentia 2000, who Alex has a dream about and immediately becomes infatuated--with all turn out to be the same person! Why pick between love interests when they can all just turn out to be the same person?! Also, Sammy was taken by apparent demons because her Soul was in the process of going into the Soul Space, and the creatures the took her were actually the other 2/3rds of her Soul that had already gone into the Soul Space and they were just collecting the last piece. I think.

The game turns into a watered-down version of Persona 3, where you have about a month--from Thanksgiving until New Years’ Eve--to train and get strong enough to stop whatever is going to destroy reality. (The actual Y2K thing is mentioned about halfway through and serves little relevance other than to mark when the end of the world is, since Y2K isn’t actually the cause of the world ending). Then there are some weird plot twists about how reality has been breaking for a long while (this was briefly foreshadowed in Alex going to Michael’s house only to be told that Michael doesn’t live there, and then going to another house where Michael is) and it makes a lot of things really confusing?? And then New Years’ Eve comes where everything is really breaking. Turns out the end of this reality is caused by a meteor with Alex’s face on it a la the moon from Majora’s Mask, no I am not fucking kidding. And it moves around like an inflatable arm-flailing tube man, no I am not fucking kidding.

And then everyone dies. No, really, this is an unwinnable fight. You die. Your entire party dies. Their reality is destroyed.

Alex wanders around the Soul Space for a while until he finds other versions of himself, and various “dark versions” merge together to create the Proto-Comet (’proto’ being the suffix to describe the end product of parallel selves merging together to form one entity). Alex follows the comet around as it destroys reality after reality until...

He finds one that hasn’t been attacked.

And gueeeeeeess what?

You, the player, are a parallel version of Alex. So he enlists you and another party of parallels (using the names you were supposed to input in the beginning) to destroy Proto-Alex. Here, you meet a spectre who is very obviously Sammy Pak, and she says that she’s sorry that Essentia “used her to get to you,” and you hug her.

Eventually you do get to Proto-Alex, as well as a different form of Essentia. Turns out that Essentia lied to you about Sammy and Vella--turns out, Essentia IS you. Well, Essentia is part of Alex, and she tricked Alex into destroying Proto-Alex in order to free herself from the “Soul” that they share. So you can choose to fight Proto-Alex, and if you do, you lose. Again. The boss fight in unwinnable.

And then this... really weird section happens with the character of Roy from Two Brothers, Ackk Studios’ previous game that got pulled from Steam due to bugginess and crashing. Roy basically says that people were “trying to stop his quest” (aka critics) and that Alex shouldn’t give up. (Note that this is a complete non-sequitur to anyone who doesn’t know who Roy is, where he came from, or the story behind the game being pulled.)

After that, you control both the player avatar given and Alex in order to “unplug” Proto-Alex and Essentia, which will make them “whole”? It basically means that all the versions of Alex will merge together into you, the player.

Then the game ends.

At least. Kind of. There’s more than one ending.

But... we’ll get back to that in a bit.

There are many questions the game raises without answers. Why was Sammy bleeding and screaming for the Soul Survivors not to take her because “you promised you wouldn’t move me again!”? Who actually is Vella? Why did no one question Essentia and Vella being in the same space if it was already said that they couldn’t be? Who actually is Sammy? Why is she a ghost and not a Soul Survivor? Why were Proto-Alex and the other “dark Alex”-es trying to destroy realities? Why does Proto-Alex look different than the other Alex-es, who look relatively similar? Who actually was the voice on the phone--it was implied to be Proto-Michael, but he didn’t exist when those phone calls were made? Is Claudio and Chondra’s missing younger brother actually a version of Alex, as this clip implies (esp. w/ the anime shirt)?

Good luck getting answers, because we sure as hell don’t get any.

Also--glad to know that the entire month of training that you spent the latter half of the game doing was all for naught, since the last two major fights you’re in are unwinnable. There are four minibosses to fight, so it isn’t all for nothing, but still. You don’t even get the satisfaction of killing the final boss. You pull a lever and he and Essentia get weirdly electrocuted.

One more thing: the twist of “Essentia lied to you” made a metric fuckton of exposition in her Mind Dungeon utterly pointless, and also feels like a flimsy excuse to absolve Alex of blame for the shitty actions of his parallel selves--more on that later.

So let’s touch on some controversy now that we have gone over the rest of this incoherent mess of a plot.

Elisa Lam

One of the most famous controversies of YIIK is the use of Elisa Lam’s death to propel the story. This is true--the creator admits that he “was very moved” by Lam’s death.

For those not in the know, let me give you a brief summary of the case of Elisa Lam. (Yes this is going to be primarily from Wikipedia but it also has news sources cited for it.) Elisa Lam was a 21-year-old Chinese-Canadian student who was reported missing at the beginning of February 2013. On February 17th, the workers at the Cecil Hotel in Los Angeles (where Lam was visiting) discovered her nude body in one of the hotel’s water tanks after guests complained about the taste of the water. The police released footage of Lam, from the day of her disappearance, acting strangely in an elevator, appearing to be hiding from something, pressing elevator buttons, and gesturing and talking to no one. There was controversy surrounding her death, as people wondered how she could have locked herself in the water tank, and how the police could rule her death as accidental. People have suspected that it was due to paranormal activity that she was acting like that, or others said that she could have been having hallucinations (as Lam was diagnosed with bipolar and depression). Her death was quickly spread through internet circles as some paranormal myth.

YIIK incorporates this as a huge part of its starting plot.

Semi “Sammy” Pak is very clearly inspired by Elisa Lam. The two bear striking resemblance to one another, being young Asian women in their early twenties with straight black hair (even parted in the same place)--and this photo from the LA Times shows that Lam wore rounded glasses, like the ones Sammy wears. (Lam is Chinese-Canadian, while Sammy is stated to be Koren-American. Sammy is also 23 when Lam was 21.)

This photoset from JamJamJamJamuel shows the biggest criticism of YIIK: the recreation of the elevator video. It’s obvious by the angle and some of Sammy’s movements that this was, in fact, meant to emulate the elevator video of Lam. The game also shows that people are less concerned about Sammy as a person and more about the mystery of the elevator, like the internet stopped caring about Lam as a person and more of a supernatural myth.

However, there’s more than just this.

There’s a weird... almost fetishistic nature when the in-game protagonist talks about Sammy. Alex describes his meeting with her as “intimate” (they met for like. an hour), calls her “my Sammy” when comparing his story to the story of the news, says that he “misse[s] her. I didn’t know her really, but I felt like I did.” And the very next line is uh. “In the unreal twilight hours, in-between sleep and waking, she slipped into my dreams, got tangled in my thoughts, like the blankets tangled between my legs, her brain melting with mine.”

... Gross, to say the least.

And yes, by the way, Sammy basically becomes a love interest. That’s not completely disrespectful and disgusting to the actual human woman that the devs never met or anything at aaaaaaaall.

BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE.

Rory basically goes on to describe a “creepy urban myth” about the water tower near his town. You can imagine what that leads to. It’s a beat-by-beat retelling of the finding of Elisa Lam’s body, except they make it a “nameless girl,” and the writers basically insert their opinions of how it was definitely a murder and the police called it an accident.

More tasteless than a fucking saltine.

OH BUT WAIT THERE’S EVEN MORE.

Near the end of the game, you find the ghost of Sammy Pak. Since she’s not a part of Essentia, it seems that Essentia used her form to get to Alex. She says that she’s sorry and that she’s going to go back ‘home’ now, and you hug her.

But that’s not even the worst of it.

Allow me to tell you about the second ending.

Second Ending:

YIIK has more than one ending--both are considered canon. Ending 1 is the one described above.

Ending 2, however...

Just before leaving the house for the last time, in order to get this second ending, you have to look at the computer in Alex’s house and read this post. It implies that you need to go find Sammy. (It also has some things to say about postmodernism but that’s for another day.)

You go outside... and she’s hiding behind a tree outside your house. No I’m not kidding. (Granted, this is the part of the game where reality is beginning to break apart, so.) She also says “I love you” which, given her “inspiration” by Elisa Lam... yeah. That’s not creepy and tasteless at all. And it also doesn’t make any FUCKING SENSE BECAUSE ALEX KNEW HER FOR AN HOUR AND NEVER SAW HER AGAIN.

Okay, okay, anyway, if you go back into the house and leave through the back entrance, you’ll be taken to the world map. Your destination is the KNN--the Korean News Network, where Sammy had been employed before she vanished. The faceless NPCs only refer to Alex as the name you put in at the beginning of the game, so presumably, everyone from this point forward is now talking to you, the player. (Also everything is pink. Really pink. For no real reason unless it’s “””symbolic””” of something?) You wander around for a bit, doing menial tasks, until you finally get to a pink version of the room you first met Sammy in. She calls you on a phone and tells you that she’s sorry for dragging you into this mess (because Alex/the player went looking for Sammy in the first place), and that she “has a solution” to prevent Essentia from using Alex any more.

You find yourself in front of an elevator, the same elevator that you rode with Sammy when she disappeared. She calls you on the phone again and says that if you go through the elevator doors, there’s no turning back. If you step through, you see the spectre of Sammy again, and she wants to show you where she’s been. You hug her, and she says that she’s so glad that she met you, “even if it was just a game. We’ll be together in your waking reality one day, I’m sure of it. For all I know, we may already be.”

... Roll credits!

No. Seriously. That’s the second ending. You, the player, (presumably) go into the Soul Space with Sammy for eternity, and Sammy basically gives you a love confession (after all she says “I love you” before anyway).

Need I remind you all that she is based off of a REAL-LIFE WOMAN WHO DIED THAT NEITHER OF THE ALLANSONS KNEW?!

Hi, yes, sorry, I’m fucking livid about this. Not just because of the disgusting use of a real-life woman’s death in your game, not just because they fetishized her and turned her into a love interest, not just one of the endings--which is a canon ending--had her telling you she loves you and having you go off with her...

... but because this game has been in development since 2013.

Elisa Lam wasn’t even dead for a fucking year.

Yes, other media has cropped up about Lam’s death, and I think it’s just as tacky and tasteless as this. But these guys had so much time to change it, to have someone say “hey maybe you shouldn’t do that,” and it happened anyway. The sheer lack of respect that the Allansons have for not just Lam but also her still-grieving family is astonishing, and it genuinely makes me sick. My thoughts and condolences to the family of Elisa Lam, having to deal with the press, internet conspirators, and people like this. I hope that they all can still find some sense of peace, even with all of this going on.

Racism:

So this game can be really, really fucking racist sometimes. Let’s start with the more explicit dialogue.

In the very beginning, Sammy calls Alex a ginger, and he says “that’s our word.” He’s equating “ginger” to a derogatory slur.

Here’s the next instance, with Alex referring to Vella--an Asian woman--as “vaguely ethnic” and “exotic.” (He doesn’t face consequences for this, either. Just a slap on the wrist of “don’t talk about race.”)

Later on, Chondra talks about race in an actually not that bad rant about how “I bet if [my brother] had been a beautiful white woman, everyone would have cared that he vanished.” This actually is somewhat insightful, as... well, it’s rather true. POC, when it comes to investigations, are often pushed aside, ignored, or given the least amount of effort. And then Chondra also calls out Alex’s lowkey racist fantasy of “being the white knight swooping in and saving the exotic Korean girl.” However... that’s it. Alex doesn’t get any insight from that, or rethink his reasons on why he wants to save Sammy.

And that’s where we get into Claudio and Chondra and the more implicit racism in the game. Neither of them have much in terms of personality--Claudio likes anime, Chondra is there for quips. Neither of them have any significant arcs, nor do they serve much story purpose beyond being extra party members and talking about race--which feels racist in and of itself, just to have characters of color there to talk about race. (Claudio even goes into an extensive rant about how it’d be racist to think that he knows how to pick locks, but he does know how to pick locks, just not the type that they need open. It comes out of nowhere, is utterly unwarranted, and is completely against the rather chill persona that Claudio has had up until then.) Their characters had a lot of potential to be good! However, much like every other character, they’re very underdeveloped.

(Also, if you have either Claudio or Chondra in your party when you get attacked by cop enemies, they will only shoot at either of them, you know, the only black characters in the main party, and my god I wish I was kidding.)

And then... the love interests.

Sammy is a Korean woman. Vella is an Asian woman of unknown descent. The Essentia 2000 has shown that many of her parallel lives are women of color. All of them are love interests for Alex, the white hero. Yeah. And the game calls it out, but no actual repercussions are given!

Speaking of these ladies...

Sexism

This game is really fucking sexist. Like, genuinely, it’s really sexist.

I think a lot of Vella’s contradictory character comes from this sexism and seeing her as a love interest rather than a character. Though she calls out Alex and is upset with him most of the time, she still accepts his weak apologies very easily--apologies that seem very manipulative and insincere when almost immediately after, Alex tries to convince her to let him into her Mind Dungeon, and if you take that as a metaphor than it gets even worse.

As well, Vella’s backstory includes her being used by a much-older man. What can you do after she tells this traumatic story about her being used by a man? Kiss her. And she doesn’t even get upset or angry with you; she just blushes and says to head back to the others. Because that’s not gross and manipulative or anything. That’s not taking advantage of a vulnerable woman at ALL.

The only female characters of importance that aren’t lusting after Alex are his mom and Chondra--I’ve already mentioned that Chondra has little story importance and personality, and Alex sees his mom as nagging for asking him to get groceries, gets angry at her when she says that she lost her job and asks him to get one to support the house (please note that she paid for his and his sister’s college educations in full, including semesters she didn’t plan for), and gets annoyed with her freaking out when he went missing for five days.

So yeah. The game doesn’t have the highest view of women.

But let’s talk specifically about Essentia. Essentia mentions that Alex has hurt her in parallel realities--but it’s okay, because they’re parallel versions, not actually him! And Essentia reveals that Alex’s parallel was the person who hurt Vella! But it’s okay, because she’ll love him unconditionally no matter how much he hurts her. It’s... really reminiscent of domestic abuse. And it frankly doesn’t matter that Essentia turns out to be a part of Alex and that any of the story of Vella or Sammy isn’t true; the game frames it as perfectly okay that it might have happened. It’s okay that parallel versions of Alex have hurt parallel versions of Essentia, because she loves him. It’s incredibly twisted, and it’s honestly a dangerous message to be sending.

(Also, in a very weird instance of sexism against men, out of all of the parallel selves that Essentia shows Alex, the only man is extremely hostile and violent towards Alex. It’s... kind of weird, honestly.)

Depression/Suicide:

Oh boy. Oh fucking boy.

A little background on myself.

I’m two years into my undergrad for a Psychology/Criminology double major. Classes I have taken include classes about pathologies of the mind and mental health (Psychopathology of Childhood, Developmental Psychology, Personality Psychology, Seminar on Positive Psychology, and of course Basic Psychology to be specific). I have also been clinically diagnosed with anxiety/depression, and both of these are genetically based, meaning that I have lived with them my whole life and will continue to live with them. (I am medicated, for anyone wondering. The meds are the only way I can function at a normal level.) I have felt suicidal before, I have had friends who have been suicidal before, and I have talked others down from self-harm or suicide. I’m not an expert, but I know a thing or two about mental health, depression, and suicide.

This game... this game doesn’t fucking get it at all.

(Just a quick thing: the game makes an OCD joke. Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder jokes aren’t funny, folks, since people who have it are affected by it all the time to the point of it often being debilitating. Just wanted to mention it a) to give you an idea on how the game handles mental health and b) because it really doesn’t fit anywhere else.)

Most of this surrounds the character of Rory, as he clearly suffers from depression and suicidal thoughts, as well as feeling grief surrounding his sister’s own suicide. When this is revealed, you know what Vella says to “comfort” him? “Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional. I understand what you were feeling. 'This depression is unbearable.' 'I can't take it anymore.' The 'depression/pain' part is an unavoidable reality, but whether or not you can overcome it is up to you. You decide if you're going to keep going. Your sister is dead. Nothing can change that. [...] You can't help but feel the pain, but you can get through the suffering. That will go away. Look, I understand that it's easy for me to say. I'm not the one whose sister is dead. But you have to understand that I am telling you the true reality of the situation. You're playing with some otherworldly dangers here!“

Let me break this down to show you why this is not something to say to someone who is traumatized and in a deep depression due to the loss of a loved one.

“[W]hether or not you can overcome it is up to you.” This puts full responsibility of overcoming grief and depression onto the person suffering from it, which is not okay, and not true. Rory lost his 12-year-old sister to suicide! Very recently in the game’s timeline, as well!

Vella is basically telling him “it’s your job to get over your grief and depression.” Putting full responsibility on someone for feeling depression and grief is disgusting. If someone is grieving, what they should do is reach out. If they aren’t, reach out to them. Don’t let them suffer alone. Suffering like this is not a choice. People don’t choose to suffer.

By saying that suffering is “optional,” it subtly blames the person suffering for their own suffering, which makes their chances of getting better plummet. So frequently will people suffering from mental disorders put the blame on themselves for “not trying hard enough” or “being broken” or “not being good enough” because they think that this is all their own fault, and they won’t seek help, because “it’s all my fault.”

Now, when someone is in recovery? Yes, they should definitely try--even if it’s in small bits at a time--to to learn to cope with their disorders in healthy ways. However, when in recovery, the person is assisted by therapists, friends, family, and possibly medications. They aren’t alone. They aren’t alone, and are often guided by those who know how to help them and want to help them. The responsibility isn’t pushed solely onto them. One doesn’t “get over” being depressed. They learn to cope. They learn to accept it as a part of them, rather than all of them, and learn that they are more than their depression. The suffering never truly goes away; it can lessen, though, and a person can learn to live with it.

Some people may defend this by saying that the Allansons lost their mother very recently, and this is how they handle their grief. I lost my father in February of last year. I know this type of grief. And just because that’s how they handle their grief, that doesn’t mean it’s a healthy way of coping, nor the type of coping mechanism you should promote in your game. (I will admit that my own methods of coping weren’t great, and that I’m trying to improve on that now.) There’s a quote that I heard somewhere that goes something like, “grief never really goes away. We just learn to live with it.” That suffering doesn’t ‘go away.’ It ebbs and flows, some days being bearable, and other days not.

But that’s not the end, friends. Oh, far from it.

At one point, you can flat-out tell Rory to “stop being depressed. Being depressed is a choice.” It is noted to be the “wrong” choice, however, Rory barely reacts to it, making it not seem like the wrong decision. I don’t feel like I need to explain why “depression is a choice” is a take colder than the depths of space. Depression’s not a choice, folks. Hell, I would love it if it was, I would love to stop the fatigue, the emptiness, the lethargy, the lack of motivation, the irritability, the messed-up appetite, the fucked-up sleep patterns, the fits of crying. That would be fucking great. But I can’t. BECAUSE IT’S NOT A CHOICE, YOU WALNUT.

Okay, okay, sorry, back on topic. So let’s say you’re mean to Rory. You wanna know what happens?

He kills himself. And according to this user, the story doesn’t change and barely acknowledges Rory after his death. (Obviously there’s not footage out there of the characters mentioning that Rory committed suicide. However, the developers themselves commented on the previously-linked Steam forum post confirming its legitimacy. This is so unbelievably fucked up. Suicide is already a topic that should be handled with care, but having a main character commit suicide and have that death have no impact on the story? I don’t even have words for how deplorable that is. (Doesn’t help that the game basically pushes whether Rory lives or dies onto the player, which is also disgusting, because I don’t think the developers had the insight into suicidal ideation to know that it’s a multitude of factors that lead to suicide, and not just one person being )

(Sidenote: here are the links to the National Suicide Prevention Line and the Crisis Text Line in case anyone needs them. Please take care, friends. <3)

[Addendum: as I was working on this review and listened to the podcast linked a little further down, Andrew Allanson had this to say at 2:08:47: "When you make an unlikable character, people expect Sherlock Holmes or Dr. House. They want flawed heroes, but only to the extent that they’re beautiful and intelligent and slightly Asperger-y."

Thank you for basically saying that having Asperger’s Syndrome is an unlikable trait or makes people unlikable.]

Anti-LGBTQ+

So let’s talk about the prejudice against non-straight and non-cis people!

Andrew Allanson has been rather fucking clear about his prejudice against trans people and non-straight people. In the “The Dick Show” podcast, starting at 1:45:45, Andrew Allanson was interviewed by the commentators. I will be providing timestamps of quotes since I can’t directly link to them.

(Sidenote: I was listening to this podcast and waiting for Andrew’s pa rt to start, and one of the commentators was talking about Women’s History Month, and saying “If a woman doesn’t have a man, she’s going to expect the government to be her man. That’s just the way they’re wired.” [1:44:24 - 1:44:31]. Yeah. That tells you the type of people who run this podcast and the type of people that Andrew decides to associate himself with.)

[1:52:15 - 1:52:] “... we made the mistake of asking the player, ‘what name did your parents give you?’ And it turns out that that is a very offensive question. Because some people, um, are trans, and don’t use the name their parents gave them. So immediately the game is targeted as being transphobic. [...] So we wanted to basically create a character off of the player in the game, the first thing we ask you ‘are you a boy or a girl,’ ‘what’s your name’, and people were so bent out of shape over this. Look, I’m sympathetic to trans people, I understand why it upset them. But the problem was when we apologized, that wasn’t good enough. People then took it and said ‘what else can we find in this game to prove that it’s offensive?’”

So here’s the thing: that... is lowkey transphobic? Because it’s like you said, these people don’t use the names that their parents gave them. You’re asking them, intentionally or not, to deadname themselves. There’s a reason they call it a “deadname.”

Later on they ask, “which of these do you identify with?” and show a male figure and a female figure. Which frankly, is alright.

And then they changed it in an update to “what do you look like?” which feels like a very direct jab at trans people, especially the ones who were upset by the initial question relating to names.

Oh, and then there’s this part (I only know DIck and Andrew’s voices, I’m afraid I don’t know the third, sorry m8).

[1:54:35 - 1:55:10]

Andrew: So you play as this guy, Alex, you just come home from [college, audio cut out here], you’re an entitled asshole--

Dick: You get points for stomping queers, as I understand it, that’s the game, right? You go around and--

Andrew: The goal is to establish the white ethnostate.

[unintelligible as others laugh and talk over each other]

Dick: --you have a little ‘gaydar’ in the corner and it points you to the nearest homosexual, and then you go, y‘know, “Hammer [X]”

Andrew: It’s - it’s - yeah, it’s a hack-and-slash.

Dick: If you buy the game they send you a special overlay you can put on your controller that turns all the buttons into ‘K.’ So it’s not ‘A’--

Andrew: Yes!

Dick: --Just ‘K,’ ‘K,’ and ‘K.’

Andrew: Just ‘K,’ ‘K’--yeah, exactly, exactly.

So we not only have the mockery of gay folk, but also mention of murdering them (whether in a joking fashion or not, this still isn’t fucking funny and not something to joke about, especially if you are not LGBTQ+ yourself. And to my knowledge, none of these men are).

And that’s just from the creator himself, as well as the first few minutes of the game.

Let’s talk bout The Scene.

What is The Scene? Well, it’s the scene where Alex and Rory talk, where you can tell Rory that “depression is a choice.” Should you be kind and supportive to him, you know what you can do? “Try to kiss [him.]” And there’s art for it. There is literally no reason for this to be here other than “haha it’s a guy trying to kiss another guy, gay people are funny!” It seems to be an attempt at humor, but it fails... rather miserably.

The Legendary Third Ending

I call it “legendary” because no one knows if it actually exists or not, because people can’t find it, regardless of the hints given by the developers.

Andrew, while doing “The Dick Show” interview, mentions that he put DIck Masterson (the host of the show) into the game in the third update [1:45:56] , and that you have to give Dick a pair of aviator glasses, where he will give you a red pill [1:47:15 - 1:47:33]. Dick is also found in Chapter 4 of the game [1:47:40].

The devs also tease it on Twitter, saying that it’s “sad and challenging to complete”, and they give vague and unclear hints that don’t seem to help even the fans of the game--after all, no one has found it, apparently. Even the YIIK Discord (though this is just hearsay) has been losing steam in trying to find this ending.

I think it’s a testament to the quality of the game when one of your major three endings is nigh-impossible to find. (For the record, I feel the same way about how PT went about its ending, and how arbitrary it felt to do these very specific things that the game barely tells you about.)

Miscellaneous Other Things That Don’t Fit In The Above

There are a couple other things that irk me about this game, so time for a rapid-fire round!

You can kiss Rory, who’s implied to be a senior in high school (due to this talk of college). So he’s, at best, 18. Alex had 5 and a half years of college (the game says “five and a quarter” but unless I’m mistaken colleges work in semesters not quarters,), so he’s probably 23-24. Yeah. (There’s also the issue of consent--when you kiss Vella she just blushes and acts more docile, while with Rory, he rather vehemently rejects it. So women just accept an unwanted kiss? Hm.)

You fight a flasher as a miniboss. Because sexual harassment is hilarious. (And if neither Michael nor Rory are 18 yet, then there’s the possibility of minors being involved. YEAH.)

The title card is intentionally glitchy af and it hurts the eyes, honestly.

If you go through New Game+ and go to the 70th floor of the Mind Dungeon, Alex will basically talk to himself about some things:

It mentions that “crows are ugly.” You fool. You absolute buffoon. Crows? Excellent. Very intelligent birbs.

This is basically “hey we suck, but so does everyone around us, it’s fine”

This game unironically uses Wonderwall lyrics in an emotional scene, like I know it was popular and not a meme in the 90s but my guy, you gotta think about the connotations with the audience you’re releasing this for,

“I sighed as the elevator began to shake, vibrating with motion.” Thank you for using three words to describe the elevator shaking,

The One Thing That I Liked

Surprisingly, there is something I liked about this game. Not solely in concept, not in its potential, but in its actual execution.

It starts on the day of New Years’ Eve. It’s dark outside and inside. Alex suddenly starts getting many random calls, some from people he knows, others he doesn’t. Some voices are distorted, some aren’t. Some are talking to him, some aren’t. And they’re quick little calls before they hang up, and Alex barely says a word. He can’t leave the house, and keeps getting phone calls that get more and more distorted as time goes on.

That? I think that actually really works.

It’s a more subtle way of showing reality breaking: getting calls from people, both friends and strangers, that are slowly getting more and more broken, and you can’t do anything. You’re trapped in your house, you can’t see outside, you don’t know what’s going on. You can’t help your friends, even when Michael screams for your help. The slowly deteriorating stability of the calls are your only indication of what’s going on outside.

And for me, that works. It was the one section of the game that I felt legitimately invested in. So, kudos to the devs for that one.

Conclusion

YIIK isn’t just bad. It’s offensive. It’s ignorant, it handles serious topics incredibly clumsily, and the worst of it is that Andrew Allanson considers it to be ‘art.’ (If you’re wondering why I didn’t talk about the “video games aren’t art” quote, don’t worry. That’s going to be its own essay.)

YIIK fails on every level, from technical to storytelling. Please, I beg of you, don’t give this game money. Just go watch the LP.

You may have noticed that I didn’t talk much about the “postmodern” aspect of the game, nor much about Alex as a protagonist.

Both of those are going to be their own separate essays.

This wild ride still ain’t over, folks. Hang on.

#yiik a postmodern rpg #yiik: a postmodern rpg #yiik #andrew allanson #yeehaw #holy shit this one is SO LONG but im so proud of it

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ghostmartyr · 5 years ago

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Pokémon FireRed Nuzlocke [Part 5]

Standard Nuzlocke rules apply. Non-standard grindlocke rules made up by me. No fighting outside of Trainer battles.

Four badges so far, we take our heroic journey Team Rocket’s way.

Telling someone that you’re guarding a poster is not the best way to keep their attention off that poster, for the record.

Dude’s got a level 20 Raticate. Heero, being absurdly overleveled despite the handicap, murders it. Zaft can try to tackle the Zubat. Zaft succeeds! And the lackluster fight is over.

A quick talk with an NPC later, our ten-year-old self has the means to start gambling. If we wanted to. We don’t. The pokemon you can get take too long to train, and more importantly, we already have Ribbons for this city.

I know Red is supposed to be the Serious protagonist.

But signs point to him being a hopeless ten-year-old like the rest of us.

Okay, now it’s time to think a little. Team Rocket has the Poison sets, Rattata line, and Zubat line, mainly. I would ideally like Ribbons to hit 30 before we head back to Lavender for the tower fun, but outside of Grimer, meh. Zaft could maybe use some switching down here, so it would make sense for Zaft to go in first position.

Let’s. Try that.

...Wanting an Electrode to contribute meaningfully to my team is going to be my downfall. I can feel it.

Let’s bash some mob heads.

Grunt #1 with a level 21 Raticate for Allenby to rescue Zaft from. Two, even.

Yay, random hidden PP Up for Giga Drain. (60 damage with 5 PP? I forgot how much later gens boost the power on everything to create real monsters.)

Grunt #2. Ick. Level 21 Drowzee. Heero can grab this one. And Drowzee uses Poison Gas to poison Heero. Sigh. Machop next and last, and that can be Allenby’s.

That’s sorted, so down the stairs we go.

Grunt #3. Level 17 Zubat. Zaft can totally handle that alone. And learn Spark! The Koffing is more Allenby’s speed, though. Grimer for Ribbons. Another Zubat for Zaft. Now with the power of an actual Electric move. And finally, Raticate. ...Which we will let Zaft take a stab at against our better judgment.

Hey, it works out! Awesome!

I hated these things as a child.

That was not a wrong opinion.

Grunt #4! Level 19 Rattata for Zaft. Level 19 Raticate for Zaft to have help with. Ribbons, how about you give it a shot? You need exp too. Another one and let’s throw out the same treatment. Back to Rattata for Zaft to solo.

Grunt #5 with three pokemon. First out is level 20 Grimer. Allenby nabs the Koffing. And stays in for the last one.

Downstairs for Grunt #6. It feels like a much higher number than that. Level 21 Machop for Allenby. And a second one.

The more fights there are, the more boring this playthrough gets to describe. There’s no drama. No tension. My team is going to clobber the mooks, and everything is going to be awesome.

Until it suddenly changes, and no one will know because all this boring as heck description is going to drain the horror of all power.

Lucky #7. Level 20 Rattata. These things with their horrifying Hyper Fangs. Raticate. That one will require Allenby’s help. With some hesitance, she’ll stay in against the Drowzee.

The one thing I will never love about Nuzlockes is the number of times I go back to Pokemon Centers. It’s a lot of walking I never do usually.

#8. A level 21 Koffing for Allenby. Back to Zaft for the Zubat.

Lift Key get. Yay.

You’re a mook, not a proper villain, #9. Act like it. Ooh, level 22 Grimer for Ribbons. Koffing for Allenby. Exploring which level the elevator takes me to for me.

#10, standing outside a door I hope opens automatically so I don’t have to go out to search for more keys. Level 23 Ekans goes to Allenby. ...And a Sandshrew. Nay, villains, that is not for you. Ribbons, correct this wrong. Arbok, and back to Allenby.

#11, what do you have for me? Another Sandshrew for Ribbons. Stop using Sandshrew. It’s too cute for you. Noin can have the Sandslash. In the spirit of letting her have something to do. Ekans goes to Allenby.

I don’t remember how this fight goes. I’m going to put Ribbons in front because I don’t think Zaft is useful against any of Giovanni’s anything in any world. Heero and Allenby might very well be jumping in to save everyone. Hopefully not, but whatever. Onward.

Meh.

Level 25 Onix out first, justifying all my choices. Rhyhorn next. Then Kangaskhan. A level 29 Kangaskhan. Allenby might need to step in, but Ribbons can take a hit.

It knows Mega Punch.

Can Allenby take a Mega Punch?

Heero has higher Defense and more HP.

STAB Mega Punch is terrifying. Heero... be brave, now.

Oh, that wasn’t so bad. 30 HP lost.

Yeah, in the future, Giovanni is not for switch training. Allenby gets first crack at the Kangaskhan.

Now it’s time for a ghostly adventure. Yay. Ultimate fetch quests of ultimate destiny.

Actually, before that, which TMs are available at Game Corner? I can’t get a pokemon here, but the moves might be worth something. Let’s see... Ice Beam, Iron Tail, Thunderbolt, Shadow Ball, Flamethrower.

That’s expensive.

I... might come back for Thunderbolt. I’m not sure. Depends how Zaft does. Or Ice Beam, depending on what my final team ends up looking like. There are a few things that could happen.

For now, Ghost tower.

Ribbons and Zaft’s playground.

This place is dark for Nuzlocke runs. It’s creepy regardless, but. Brr.

Oh, you’re first, not last. Uh. Hm.

I think his Pidgeot(to?) is up front. Zaft theoretically isn’t a bad pick for that, but the levels could be anything. Pokemon Tower is available right after Rock Tunnel, so I’m not too worried about this, but this place is also designed to be beaten all the way through after you get the Silph Scope.

Zaft, if you die, we’re in the right place.

SHUT UP.

Okay, so he has a level 25 Pidgeotto. Not something Zaft should be fighting, but. Fuck, I’m going to be stupid, aren’t I? I’m going to let it try to get a hit in. Sorry in advance, Zaft. Pidgeotto used Sand Attack. Zaft could faint it if it hits again.

Good job, Zaft! Now get out!

Allenby in for Growlithe. It’s level 23, but has Intimidate because of course it does. Exeggcute goes to Heero. Wartortle is Noin’s. Kadabra... Ribbons, you want a shot? You’re a higher level. Good boy.

Phew. Okay. That should be the worst of the Tower, I think.

With a level 22 Gastly. Zaft wins all by itself and makes it to level 24!

Channeler Carly also has a Gastly. This one’s level 24, so Ribbons will help.

Channeler Hope is next, with the unfortunate name for a possessed woman. Also a level 23 Gastly. Ribbons will help Zaft again.

Going back to the possessed part for a second... I don’t really pay attention to the plot of these games. I do not care. I am here for the pokemon and not much else. Sun and Moon letting you beat down the Professor is probably one of the few squees the plot of any of these games have given me.

But then there’s gen one and people randomly getting possessed and attacking you just because there needs to be some justification for Trainer battles in a graveyard. I guess. Also Ghosts exist, but ghosts are looked at with the standard superstitious thoughts of our world.

I love these dumb games.

Oh, hello. Right, I can catch a thing here.

Caught!

Your name will be... Epyon. I will never be able to use you because I have no idea how you would even go about trading on an emulator, but it’s nice that if something terrible goes wrong you will be around. I guess.

Channeler Laurel is our next victim. She has a level 23 Gastly. Then another. Ribbons will help with the second one. Night Shade packs a punch.

Channeler Jody. Jody is not the name of someone you would expect to end up here, but I guess the chaotic sprite is probably a symptom of possession. Anyway, level 22 Gastly.

Channeler Paula, who inspires the same joke I just made. Her Gastly is level 24.

I think the next floor up has a healing circle.

Yay, I don’t have to walk all the way outside for the third time.

Channeler Ruth’s Gastly is level 22. We are letting Ribbons and Zaft share to be nice.

Channeler Karina has a level 24 Gastly. Similar tactics employed.

Channeler Janae brings out her level 22 Gastly.

-gasp-

Channeler Tammy... has a Haunter. It’s level 23.

It’s amazing how so many different things from childhood are so much creepier when you reapproach them as an adult.

Channeler Angelica! Hee. Level 22 Gastly, followed by a level 22 Gastly, followed by a level 22 Gastly.

Channeler Jennifer is next. Level 24 Gastly.

Channeler Emilia has another level 24 Gastly.

I think we’ve reached the Marowak staircase, so Zaft is going to have to go second instead of first. Ribbons, you’re free to take on the Marowak all by yourself. Like a champ. I believe in you. And if that belief is faulty, Noin has your back.

Have you ever wanted to give a cloud of ominous mist a hug?

Ribbons wins the day, and all that’s left is Team Rocket.

The first grunt has a level 25 Zubat. Level jump. Yay. My favorite thing in the whole wide world. Another level 25 Zubat. Well at least they’re making this easy for Zaft. Then there’s a level 25 Golbat, threatening things less easy. Heero, step in and save Zaft from confusion.

Second grunt. Level 26 Koffing. Allenby time. Heero gets the Drowzee.

Grunt number three. Last one at the Tower. Kindly opening with a level 23 Zubat for Zaft. And following it with a level 23 Rattata. Then a level 23 Raticate. Allenby will help with that one. ...Actually Heero will, since I wasn’t in the mood to go back and heal after the last Grunt.

No, Zaft, you cannot learn Selfdestruct. Bad Zaft.

Level 23 Zubat for the last thing.

That’s my job. I’m the protagonist.

Poke Flute get!

So now for the least fun part of all this. Snorlax. I need to try to catch it, because it’s too ridiculously useful not to try for, but it’s also ridiculously hard to catch. And not Pokemon Go hard to catch. Actually hard. I need to hit Celadon for some Ultra Balls.

Everywhere only has Great Balls. Nice. Okay then.

I’m going to hate this.

Allenby’s up first.

For the sake of this run’s rules, if I give up on trying to catch it, I’m going to just run. If that’s not an option, then I’ll faint it. But intentionally fainting it if I have other options is out. If it’s going to kill me, run, run, run.

Oh fuck. The Snorlax does too much damage with Headbutt. Catching is a pipe dream.

HOLY SHIT.

IT IS CAUGHT.

WITH MINIMAL TRAUMA.

WHAT.

NAME.

PO.

AWESOME.

LET’S GET YOU OUT OF THE BOX.

JOLLY. LIKE A SANTA.

Heck I am psyched.

Look at this.

Unless something goes horribly wrong, this is our team.

Let’s get that other Snorlax out of our way. There are a lot of Flying trainers past it, and I’m more confident in dealing with that than our Biker friends we will be meeting shortly. Zaft’s still lowest on the totem pole, and correcting that sooner rather than later is my preference.

Other Snorlax successfully fled. Zaft back in front. Awesome. Awesome awesome awesome.

Rocker Luca is hanging about, and he’s got a level 29 Voltorb. Ugh. Allenby, help.

Er.

Oh good, only down to 58.

Then he has a level 29 Electrode. Noin pretty much has to go in just in case. Yikes. Yikes and more yikes. Noin poisons it. Ganbatte Noin.

Great, we lived through that. Nearest PokeCenter where.

Also, to get the Itemfinder and Leftovers, I need 30 pokemon in my Pokedex. I’ve got 24. Things to fix. I think I can fish in cities, Zaft will evolve, and... and I should just resign myself to not getting the stuff right away. Fine.

A Fisherman named Andrew. With a level 24 Magikarp. Yum. And another for good measure.

Next down the bridge, Picnicker Alma. With a level 28 Goldeen for Allenby. ...For Po, actually. Now Po is confused. Now Po is not confused. Now Po is confused. This time the confusion does not matter. Yay Po. Poliwag all for Zaft. Horsea too.

Bird Keeper Sebastian is next. So many things to process. Like the level 29 Pidgey. Ow. Or the Pidgeotto. More ow.

Still on the bridge (maybe our last one until running back for Quatre to Cut a few things?), Picnicker Susie would like to battle with a near-full roster. Starting with a level 24 Pidgey. I approve. Meowth next. Then Rattata. Then Pikachu. Allenby will finish that thanks to some unfortunate paralysis. Zaft back for a Meowth that Heero will nom.

Off the bridge!

She’s got a level 27 Rattata. Pikachu next. Noin food. Another Rattata for Zaft.

I’m running back to Vermilion after each of these fights. Partly because I’m too lazy to figure out what the key is for the bike I have.

Beauty Sheila. She has a level 29 Clefairy, which looks like prime Po food. Zaft goes back in for the Meowth. And Zaft the miracle child paralyzes it in a way that allows us to dodge a run back to the Pokemon Center.

Picnicker Valerie is next. She has a level 30 Poliwag because she wants Zaft to thrive on this team. And another, even! My thanks.

And.

Finally.

Look at that grin.

Picnicker Gwen time. Bringing the level 27 Pidgey. Meowth. Pidgey. Pidgeotto.

...Zaft being evolved is honestly so helpful.

Bird Keeper Perry! Hoping to fare better? Not with that level 25 Spearow asking for Po’s attention. Pidgey means Zaft is back. Same to the next Pidgey. Spearow for Po again. And one last one.

So the bike is the Backspace button. Fine. Better than holding the B button and running all the way.

Music to my ears, Robert. Pidgey, level 26 Pidgeotto, Spearow for Po, Fearow also for Po, and we’re good. Then we’ve got a Biker coming up, so Po gets to switch places with Zaft as first in line.

Though something which I remembered a little earlier has caught my attention. I think Snorlax is on the slower end of growth. Electrode doesn’t have that problem. Hopefully Po will be multipurpose enough to make up for it, but that could be something I need to watch out for. There’s a very limited supply to work with.

But Biker! Biker Jared with the level 28 Koffing. And this is where I learn Po’s ability is Immunity. Po can’t be poisoned. Oh happy day. I think Po’s going to be seeing a lot of use against Bikers. Another Koffing, and another Koffing.

Back to bird boys, so Zaft in front again.

Bird Keeper Carter has a level 28 Pidgey. Doduo for Po. Zaft goes back to clean up the Pidgeotto.

If anyone were reading these, I’m sure they’d be as sick as I am of me detailing every single fight with the absolute minimal detail I can stand. It is not good entertainment. Sadly, since I started this with the assumption that I could be doing a few tries... I want a record of what I’ll be up against. Just skim.

Mitch with the level 26 Pidgey. Spearow for Po. Pidgey for Zaft. Fearow for Po.

Back to Vermilion’s Pokemon Center. And screw it, I’m going to catch something in the water. Super Rod for variety.

Naisu. And of course it knows Dragon Rage. Damn it.

I fucked up.

Shit.

...Shit.

I got arrogant. Should have gone Old Rod.

I’m laughing.

I am in so much trouble now.

But I can’t help it.

Oh wow.

I really have to catch this.

Well.

Yay?

Actual fuck.

Your name is Altron.

Fuck you. Welcome to the team.

Ribbons. Noin. I would apologize if I didn’t find the situation so unspeakably hilarious. I chose this fight. It was completely optional. No one twisted my arm. Unlike the trainer fights. Yet. Here we are. One very angry Gyarados brought two of my favorite team members to their knees.

I spent TMs on both of you. And a PP Up on Giga Drain. I had high hopes. I was playing so carefully. If I had remembered that Po was my tank earlier, you might have made it through. Instead...

Instead, this gets interesting.

I am back down to five partners (yay, Quatre, you get to come back!), and a level 25 Gyarados is not the simplest thing to train.

I... Oh. Fuck.

There’s a Lapras coming up, isn’t there?

No, that’s a gen one thing. This is a gen three version of gen one, so cursed.

Fuck. I need to think.

What do I really have left in the world to catch?

There’s the long bike area, Safari Zone, a few routes I can touch better with Quatre back on the team... But in terms of level? A free level 25 thing (lol “free”) is not bad. Victory Road has wild level 40s, but nothing I could conceivably make solid use of.

Unless I get incredibly lucky, Gyarados is probably going to be the best thing I can get my hands on before the end of the game.

-hours later-

After some contemplation, I think this is going to mark a change in approach. People beat these games with only one pokemon battling. I don’t feel like splitting exp and training something again.

So I’ll have Altron in my team, and perhaps even make use of him, but the team focuses are going to be Zaft, Allenby, Heero, and Po. For the whole rest of the game. ...Decision subject to change. But I’m just really not feeling the desire to train anything else.

We shall see. We shall be concerned. We shall endure.

We shall be happy Quatre is back on the team.

Camper Justin has a level 29 male Nidoran. Go Po. Then a level 29 Nidorino. Don’t die, Po. Yay, Po.

According to my vague map I haven’t caught something on Route 12. Because Serebii says there’s a chance you can Super Rod up a level 35 Horsea, I will attempt to catch one.

Sadly mine is a level 20. Now named Max. Pokedex count: 27.

Route 13′s thing is Venonat. It poisons Zaft. Altron helps, because, as we all know, Altron knows Dragon Rage. Venonat is caught, and its new name shall be Well. Because no one reads these and I can do what I want.

We finally arrive at where we were before all that Gyarados nonsense. You can tell it was nonsense because I still say Gyarados half the time instead of using Altron’s name.

Anyway, Bird Keeper Marlon. He has a Spearow. Aka Po food. Po stays in for the Doduo. Level 28 btw. As my emotional pain rises my transcribing cares fall. Fearow next. Still Po.

Next up is Bird Keeper Beck. Flying high with a level 29 Pidgeotto. And a Fearow for Po. Considerate.

You mean those things I probably can’t catch?

Bird Keeper Donald. Quack. ...Complete with Farfetch’d. Amazing. Po, help nom it.

Can Gyarados learn Fly? I’m reluctant to throw that on Heero because I don’t know what’s coming next, but I’m also reluctant to keep on biking back to Vermilion to keep a limit on tragic accidents.

Why is Gyarados a Flying type if it can’t learn Fly. Boo.

Don’t let people peer pressure you into forcing your pets to fight, man. Bird Keeper Benny. Level 29 Spearow. Po kills it, as is right and just. Fearow up next. And Po learns Body Slam to replace Headbutt.

Then we have a row of Bikers before we can get to the grass. Po, you’re in front now.

Biker Gerald with the level 29 Koffing. Plus level 29 Muk. The tributes to Po continue.

Biker Malik. Another level 29 Koffing. Level 29 Grimer.

Biker Isaac has three pokemon. Level 28 Grimer first. Then a second one. Then a Koffing for last place.

One. more. Biker. ...here.

You can tell he’s cool because he has four pokemon and his sprite was allowed to ride his bike. One level 26 Koffing first. One more. Grimer. Final Koffing to round it all out.

Zaft goes out front to facilitate the capture of whatever our Route 14 thing chooses to be.

I see no way for this to go wrong.

Caught!

Your name’s Afranche now.

Pokedex count: 29.

Time for Po and Allenby to beat up Twins Jan and Kiri. With their fancy level 29 Charmander and Squirtle. It is a quick fight.

Made it to Route 15. Look at us go. Look at how I’ve caught everything here that I can, thanks to the species clause. Look at how far away that Itemfinder is.

Biker Ernest has a level 25 Koffing. And another. Then Weezing. Back to Koffing. Then, at long last, a Grimer to finish things.

Biker Alex introduces himself by threatening to mug us. But. That’s sort of what happens during every battle. Someone is going to fork over a bunch of cash. So his tough guy image is a lie hiding his willingness to conform to society’s standards.

Anyway, level 28 Koffing. Grimer. Weezing.

In the spirit of really not wanting to bike back to Vermilion even though Po needs healing. Zaft goes up front while we try to dodge around everyone on our way to Fuchsia.

I’m going to stop you right there.

Tfw you will never.

Fuchsia reached, and for future reference, this is where the Move Deleter is in this game. That might be handy to know.

Because Zaft is already in front, I wander down before I have Surf to play with the Swimmers. Swimmer Richard has a level 30 Tentacool. Then a Shellder. Swimmer Reece has a level 29 Goldeen Po can help with. Zaft goes back in for the Horsea. Stays in for Staryu.

Scrubbed the deck with the landlubbed Swimmers.

Good Rod get, and I’m going to fish up my Fuchsia City thing in the pond behind the Fisher guy’s house.

I can’t see this helping much.

I’m feeling really lazy. You can be Barton.

But! I have 30 now!

Time to hit the Trainers we missed and then bike back to Vermilion! ...Yay!

Bird Keeper Edwin first on the docket. With a level 26 Pidgeotto. Po in for Farfetch’d. And Doduo. Zaft comes back for Pidgey.

Bird Keeper Chester is next. With Dodrio wanting Po’s attention. Doduo next. Also another one.

Picnickers are next, and I think in the interest of fairness Allenby is going to be up front for them.

A level 29 Bellsprout opens the match. Allenby is beyond such things. Heero can eat the Oddish. Heero can also eat the Tangela.

Picnicker Kindra is next. Bringing the level 28 Gloom for Heero. Heero stays in for the Oddish. All two of them.

Beauty Olivia has a level 29 Bulbasaur. Heero clearly needed to be the one up front for all of this. Ivysaur next and last.

Beauty Grace has a level 29 Pidgeotto. Against my better judgment, Allenby will stay in to try and Rock Slide it. Gambit successful. Wigglytuff in next, so Allenby gets to stay in for a whole fight!

Picnicker Becky has a Pikachu. On a related note, Allenby now knows Cross Chop. Cross Chop murders Becky’s Raichu.

Picnicker Celia just has the one level 33 Clefairy.

Had.

Double Battle putting Allenby and Heero in the driver’s seat. Yes, at the same time. Against Ron and Mya. Level 29 Hitmonchan and Hitmonlee.

Aaaaaand that’s what we have down here.

Itemfinder time!

Yes!

Success.

Let’s call this part there, shall we? Before anything horrible can happen. It’s been something of a rough ride this time around. Entirely because of my own choices, but still.

High note end, get.

#Pokemon #Nuzlocke Challenge #Nuzlocke #playthrough

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otaku-tactician · 6 years ago

Text

Self insert mini story idea II

Oh... By the gods!! This crap may become a series. But this is so healing 😂 This raised my health points by +10000000 honestly if u got daydreams write them!! I'd recommend it if u have time!!

SCENARIO TWO: RECONNAISSANCE

Servant: [Ok so you summoned me masta. But do you know how to plan actual battle strategy??? ]

Me: [Do rpg games count-] *Interrupted by haughty laughter eminating from Servant* [wHy u laugh damnit]

Servant: [lol because i had a feeling youd be bad at this. Lucky u im a mythological hero hahaha u baka////]

Me: [ok whatever what is the strategy? Take out weaker masta? Defeat stronger servant? Hide away and hope that all the other masta and servant defeat each other? lol i want to live a full life]

Servant: [Those strategies... You've never fought a war before have u,,,????? ]

Me: [Yet you have!!! Gasp in awe at the vast differences between our worlds! No that was a joke this world has horrifying war and destruction too.... luckily for me I've been able to avoid thus far... but for how long i-]

Servant: [stoooooop yamete masta this too deep. Look the plan is to patrol the area and fight whomever whenever because im strong. But u gotta raise my bond to 10/10 and feed me gold exp cards on a daily basis]

Me: [STOP W THE SHITTY FGO JOKES NONE OF THIS IS FUNNY!! STOP SHOWING OFF ALL OF THE INFO U RETAIN FROM THE THRONE OF HEROES OR GRAIL WHATEVER BEFORE JOINING THIS ERA!! ITS NOT FUNNY!! ]

Servant: [For a non mage u know more than expected about seihai sensou rules and servant backgrounds. Where did u learn the info from? ] Me *regrets speaking*: [.... the anime...]

*Shrinks back in fear as Servant leans gloomily over me*

Servant: [READ THE FUCKING VISUAL NOVEL!!!!! ]

Me: [ITS NOT IN ENGLISH!!! AND MY JAPANESE ISN'T VERY GOOD!!! ANIME IS FINE!! ]

Servant: [Screw battle strategy; it's time I showed you the beauty of the visual novels.] *Grabs my laptop* [Sit here. We're going to play EVERY SINGLE ROUTE AND IM DOWNLOADING THE GAME PATCH WHETHER U LIKE IT OR NOT MASTA!!!!! ]

Me: [..... this has to be the worst masta/servant pairing ever... lol we're screwed... wait servant what u wearing????? ]

*Servant has magically transformed their heroic clothing into a tracksuit*

Servant: [I'm a 5*. A 5* must do things with the utmost perseverance! Come, masta!! Though you have no idea what my class is or my np or even how to fight or use ur command seals we gotta play the fsn vn!!! ]

....?!!!!!!! Hopefully The End

((..... THIS WHAT IS THIS ABOMINATION OF A STORY?? THIS ONE DIDN'T EVEN MAKE ME LAUGH JUST CRINGED LOL😂☆))

#Personal on fate fan fiction ideas #this is the last time. I've lost all sense😂#btw this servant is cracking me up. If they seem familiar to anyone ill cry w embarrassment

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starsgivemehp · 4 years ago

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Take an older fic (or art for our artist friends) from about a year ago or older even and talk about it, show it off and hype it up.

Tagged by @imakemywings

You’re Always Holding On to Stars

Ok so this fic was actually started more like 10 months ago, but eh, close enough. It’s... not finished... but I will finish it someday!

It’s one of my favorites just because it’s got two of my original Undertale muses in it! Red was the first undertale muse I ever used. He’s changed a lot since my initial characterization of him way back in, idk, 2017? 2016? He’s gained a LOT of depth and backstory, and he can be very nuanced. But on the other hand, he’s fun and not too complicated most of the time. He’s a little shit at times, but he’s got a good heart and he cares about his people very deeply. He’s been through some shit, too, nearly given up multiple times, but he’s still standing, somehow. He’s stronger than he thinks he is, and I just love him. <3

Now Arum, Arum was another super duper early muse, he got the first extra tumblr RP account I made, back when I was doing that. As a horrorfell, he’s got a horrific (haha) backstory, and he’s a salty, salty boy who likes to play “my life sucks more than your life sucks” because he’ll win, every time. He’s got major issues, but he, too, cares quite a bit, even if he hates showing it most of the time. They’re both just tragic and funny and put together, once they work out their issues, they can become a really heartwarming couple.

I remember the first shitposts I did with Arum’s blog were to have him post on Red’s blog, having ‘hacked’ it and mocking him a little. They squabbled and insulted each other and that’s exactly how this fic for them started! But in time, like they will in this fic, they grew to respect and understand each other, and even fall in love. Their mutual love of science really binds them together.

So without further ado, the info you need!

Rating: Explicit

Words: 5,914 (so far)

Pairing: Red/Arum (underfell!Sans/horrorfell!Sans)

Summary: After being left to rot underground for too long, after a civil war and starvation and the loss of too many loved ones, Arum hardly cares that he's on the surface now. There's more food, but the rest of it kinda sucks, and he's too bitter and angry to look for something to give his life meaning. He's just traipsing through, unable to die and unwilling to truly live. This crybaby smaller version of him is only pissing him off.

Red maybe has a few issues. Maybe. Like alcoholism, and a sex addiction, and a little bit of recreational drug use, and okay, maybe he's also depressed and anxious and traumatized, but he's fine. Really. Everything's fine. He isn't going to give up HoPe. Not again. He's... He's gonna make his dreams come true. He is. Maybe. Possibly. But it would be nice if that horrifying people-eater would stop being such an asshole. Yeah, that'd help.

Thus, the hatefucking begins.

Excerpt from chapter 2:

[Red] had lost count of how many drinks he’d had, but that was normal. It wasn’t all that many yet, he was pretty sure. He didn’t feel blackout drunk, just pleasantly drunk. But when he saw a familiar horrifying-looking skeleton settle into a seat just one away from him, he felt like he wasn’t quite drunk enough.

“oh, fuck, it’s you,” he muttered to himself. He didn’t really mean to say it aloud, and he cringed when he did, hoping the guy hadn’t heard. But Red should only be so lucky. The guy - Arum, he thought - swiveled his head instantly, good socket narrowing. He looked Red up and down, leaning on the bar.

“oh, fuck, it’s an asshole,” he snapped back, and Red flushed.

“whatever, at least i don’t eat people,” he huffed, knocking back another drink.

“yeah? good for you. bet ya never starved a day in your life, huh? bet ya never felt so hungry you couldn’t even stand up, or see straight, or even talk. huh? ya ever been in that situation?”

“no,” Red muttered, squirming a little in his seat. Sounded awful.

“yeah, that’s what i thought. so don’t judge me for surviving, you whiny crybaby jerk.”

“crybaby?” he protested, bristling and sitting up taller. “who the fuck’s a crybaby?”

“you! tearing up over lv, oh, life’s so hard with 8, i regret every bit of exp, i’m so precious and need to be sheltered!”

“hey, fuck you! you know what? fuck you!”

“What’s going on over here?” Pyre interrupted, looking between the two skeletons in confusion. Arum’s expression shifted strangely, and he looked up at the fire elemental in something like confusion. Red knocked back the last of his drink, then slammed the glass down and gestured for it to be filled again.

“nothin’, buddy, just a little moral disagreement.”

“Moral disagreement,” he repeated blankly.

“yeah. i got morals, and he don’t got any.”

“i’ll moral my foot up your coccyx, you-” Arum started, only for Pyre to flare up brightly.

“Okay, enough!”

Read the rest here!

#out of skeleton #get memed on #my work #my writing #guest muse: arum

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amtrak12 · 8 years ago

Note

I ship yatesbert but I like holtzbert occasionally on the side (there's so much fanfic, it's a statistical inevitability that some of it is good) but I find, more often than not, there is a fundamental misunderstanding of Erin as a character and a tendency to elevate Holtz to basically (irritatingly) faultless, thoughts?

I have not even looked at that area of fanfic since… probably September because the fic summaries alone horrified me by what they were writing about (or pissed me off because they wholesale-lifted elements from the canon Abby/Erin relationship and twisted it around to make a Holtz/Erin AU). But from the stuff I have seen and from the posts I continue to see made on Tumblr, that fandom has a fundamental misunderstanding of both Erin and Holtz.

(They also deeply misunderstand Abby’s and Patty’s characters, but that fandom puts no effort into understanding them while allegedly they do put thought into Erin and Holtz. … allegedly.)

Common Erin Mischaracterizations:1) playing too hard into this conservative nerd + quirky sex god trope they all insist Erin/Holtz fall into and making Erin more naive and clueless than she really is.

– Erin is not in high school. She’s a 42 year old woman who’s definitely had boyfriends and has most definitely had sex. She’s no where near a stumbling virgin.

2) powerful, instant sexual attraction and whaBLAM!! she’s a pile of turned on goo around Holtz and is of course going to have sex with her. She has to. It’s inevitable.

– what in the…????? like I know I’m on the asexual spectrum, but you know what, I can easily argue that both Erin and Holtz are acespec too (Erin definitely is) so this characterization makes absolutely no sense to me. Even if they were both allo, sexual attraction still doesn’t work that way??? This is such a weird thing that pops up in fanworks. And it almost always leads to some super gross smut thing that was lifted straight out of cis hetero white men porn that was not made with the healthy portrayal of women in mind :S

3) completely disregarding Erin’s relationships with both Abby and Patty and essentially pretending she doesn’t have one with either

– Abby is hands down the most important person in Erin’s life. Shipping yatesbert or not, it is utterly impossible to claim otherwise. Abby is the most important person in Erin’s life. Yet 9.9 times out of 10, the Holtz/Erin content pretends Abby doesn’t exist or that Erin and Abby don’t have this huge massive history together or that it doesn’t matter anymore because Erin has Holtz. That is not true. Abby and Erin’s relationship and history matter. Abby matters. People will never, ever get Erin’s characterization right unless they start with Abby being the most important person to her. And Patty and Erin also developed a solid and important relationship over the course of the movie. Patty was doing things like grabbing coveralls for them to wear solely so Erin wouldn’t ruin her clothes with slime again. She offered immediate and unconditional support after Erin shared her Ghost Girl story (which no one except for Abby had ever done). They were both ducking behind each other at different points and essentially using each other as human shields. Patty pulled Erin into a great big hug, not once, but twice in the movie. Patty is very, very important to Erin too. In fact, of all the Erin dynamics, Erin and Holtz actually spend the least amount of canon time together and thus have the weakest one-on-one relationship. Not saying they therefore can’t be shipped together, but shipper content has to acknowledge that weakness and build it up. They can’t just write them with a strong instant connection at the expense of Erin’s relationships with Abby and Patty.

4) that Erin would enjoy teasing flirting that really just looks and sounds like bullying

– for the sake of this point, let’s accept the claim that Holtz is flirting with Erin whenever she does something jackass-y like make fun of her for getting excited over a swiss army knife or step on the gas pedal whenever Erin tries to get into the car and then berate her for holding them up. Let’s pretend that’s flirting. Erin would in no way, ever, ever, ever enjoy that type of flirting. Her experiences with childhood bullying would make these “flirtations” sound just like the mocking she experienced throughout school. It’s going to get her guard up, and she’s going to be frustrated and annoyed (which – SHOCKER! – she absolutely was every single time Holtz did something like this in the movie). She’s not going to think it’s cute or fun or amusing. She’s going to be pissed af. So writing this type of flirting as their main dynamic and as something Erin enjoys is not only OOC, it’s a bit disturbing and arguably crosses the line into romanticizing abuse :S Please don’t do this.

I have a lot more complaints on Erin’s portrayal in that fandom, but that probably covers the basics.

Common Holtzmann Mischaracterizations:

1) omg where do I begin. How about with the insistence that she’s a confident Cassanova-esque flirt and sex god? like omg have these people met Holtzmann???

– even if you (somehow) disagree with the autistic Holtzmann headcanon, Holtz is still a perpetually nervous and socially awkward koala bear who is only truly comfortable around Abby because she’s known her for so long. She is not comfortable around Erin at all. She grows comfortable around Patty over the course of the movie because Patty is delightfully sarcastic af while still being a loving ball of sunshine and, oh yeah, she saved Holtz’s life three different times, that probably helps the comfort factor :P But she is not comfortable around Erin, and it’s not hard to see why. Erin is not only a new person, she’s a new person Holtz has heard all kinds of legends and stories and rants about from Abby. Holtz already has this mixed and vague impression of Erin in her head when they meet, and she has to make that impression match up to the real life Erin standing in front of her and that’s always an awkward process. Because it’s like ‘I know you, but I don’t actually know you, so how am I supposed to act here? What am I supposed to say?’ Considering Holtz already relies on scripts for social interactions, she’s going to be very much feeling like a fish out of water around Erin.

– I didn’t actually touch on the flirting and sex god thing yet, but seriously. Holtz didn’t even have a real friend until she met Abby (a fact she shared in the most stilted, nerve-filled toast I’ve ever seen, the poor thing). Do people really think she walks around convincing women to drop their panties with a mere smirk and a wink? People are so attracted to Kate McKinnon that they keep projecting that attraction onto Holtz’s characterization and it is just wrong, wrong, wrong. That is not how Holtz is at all. She’s actually a clueless puppy when it comes to romance. She might flirt but she doesn’t realize flirting is supposed to lead to asking someone on a date or will bring up expectations in someone else’s mind. She thinks it’s just another type of casual social interaction.

2) Holtz’s relationships and history with Abby and Patty are ignored completely

– just like with Erin, Abby is the most important person in Holtz’s life. She’s her first and only friend for the longest time. She’s the first person to show Holtz unconditional support and love. She’s the first person to *get* and accept Holtz. None of this can be ignored when writing Holtz’s character. In fact, these are all things Holtz and Erin have in common and could be used as a foundation to a relationship between them instead of being blatantly swept under the rug and going “Abby who?”

– also just like Erin, Holtz builds up a significant relationship with Patty over the course of the movie. In fact, there is quite a bit of one-on-one interaction between Holtz and Patty and even more that occurred off screen. They went out and grabbed cheesesteaks together after Erin left the group and it wasn’t even the first time they did that. Holtz pulled Patty away alone to measure her for a proton pack. There was a conversation of some kind before or after the subway ghost that (rightfully) convinced Patty that Holtz would be interested in cadavers instead of grossed out. There’s a fully fleshed out dynamic between them that becomes even more meaningful and weighty after you add in the times Patty saved Holtz’s life, and all of that is completely ignored in Holtz/Erin fan works. If Patty is shown at all, it’s so she can fulfill a Sassy Black Woman stereotype and 'hilariously’ yell at them for having sex somewhere inappropriate. It’s disgusting. Patty (and Abby) do not exist to do amusing commentary on the Holtz/Erin ship. >_main characters with their own personalities and dynamics and histories with everyone.

3) Holtz is being flirtatious whenever she mocks or teases Erin

– I mentioned that if this is Holtz flirting, then Erin would not be into it in any way shape or form, but now I’m going to point out that this isn’t Holtzmann flirting. You know what Holtz looks like when she flirts? “you’re mouthy. I like that.” Grabbing Patty’s hand and kissing the back of it instead of returning the high five. Stuff that actually looks like romantic interactions. Holtz mocking Erin is in response to their shared history with Abby and how Erin completely abandoned Abby twenty years ago. Remember that Holtz has heard the stories and rants. She’s still trying to put them together into the real life person now hanging with the group, but she’s completely aware of how Erin abandoned Abby and she’s super judging Erin for it. Because again, Abby is the most important person in Holtz’s life and Holtz is pissed that someone would dare hurt her. In fact, Holtz is meanest to Erin whenever Erin is denying ghosts or seems uncertain and like she might run again. The times she’s nicest (like the hug after the portal rescue) come only after Erin saves Abby’s life or is super obviously 100% on board with ghosts like with the Protect the Barrier presentation. Any weakness in Erin’s convictions, and Holtz is right back to being on guard (and kind of a shit head) just in case Erin flees and makes Abby sad again.

4) calling Holtzmann “Jillian” or any variation of her first name

– I’ve said it before and I will continue to say it until every single person making fan content for this movie gets it through their thick skull, HOLTZMANN’S NAME IS NOT JILLIAN!!! She does not use her first name ever! She never introduces herself as Jillian. She is never introduced as Jillian by any of the other characters. None of her friends ever call her Jillian. They call her Holtzmann or Holtz or Holtzy/baby when it’s Patty addressing her. No one calls her Jillian. “Jillian Holtzmann, Radio Times” was Holtz using a script, and being obviously sarcastic as she is not a journalist for the Radio Times. She was pulling up the only interviewing script she knew and was purposely messing with Kevin as he was so clearly oblivious and ignorant. Dr. Gorin was her mentor and a pseudo-parental figure. Her addressing Holtzmann as “Jillian” is not a sign that her friends or lovers would call her Jillian because again none of the other Ghostbusters ever call her that. All Dr. Gorin using Jillian means is Holtz isn’t triggered or repulsed by her first name. She simply prefers not to use it. She is a single name character much like Parker from Leverage. The name Jillian should never be used in the narration or when a character is addressing Holtzmann in fan works. That is not her name. I’m utterly baffled by how a near-100% queer fandom can be so dismissive of someone’s preferred name, good lord. Respect the character’s wishes, please and thanks.

5) dressing Holtzmann up in full evening gowns and wearing her hair down or otherwise presenting her gender as more traditionally feminine than she presents in the movie.

– again I have to ask, has people who do this ever actually met Holtzmann???? holy cow. Holtzmann is not Kate McKinnon. The two do not present their gender the same way. Holtzmann only dresses and presents herself the way we see her do in the movie. This isn’t a limitation of the movie events or timeline, that’s legitimately how Holtzmann presents herself all the time. Once again, respect the character’s wishes and don’t twist them into something they’re not.

One last thing that bugs the hell out of me: when people make a fanwork where the joke is centered on the characters (usually Holtz) outing Erin to someone else, and then having everyone laugh at Erin when she gets upset. Like, holy shit I am so appalled by how many posts I’ve seen centered around this idea. O_O Erin is an acespec bisexual who’s only figuring out her sexuality now when she’s in her 40s. Like that’s a major thing? Maybe these twenty-somethings and teens who figured out their sexuality before they were twenty didn’t have big identity crises about it, but as someone who did figure out they were actually bisexual later in life, that’s the kind of realization that’s pretty mind-boggling. Because you don’t just have to come to terms with any internalized homophobia you have and accept that you aren’t heterosexual, you also have to come to terms with how long you were ignorant about this part of yourself (and for Erin, that’s a long, long time). You have to come to terms with feeling like a fraud when you say you’re bisexual or otherwise queer, because you’ve never had a relationship with a woman and aren’t really sure how to relate to other queer women on that level. And god, feeling like a fraud could potentially be even worse for Erin because her childhood trauma and subsequent experiences with gaslighting from all the trusted adults in her life means she has very little faith in her ability to interpret reality. Whenever she changes her statement after someone else counters her in the movie and deleted scenes (look especially at the Phil scenes), that isn’t just Erin being a people-pleaser, that isn’t just the script trying to be funny, that’s Erin honestly questioning reality simply because someone gave a different opinion than her. Without concrete and undeniable evidence staring her in the face, Erin is not confident about anything and that would include her sexuality. It’s not funny or cute to write about other characters – especially someone who’s supposed to be her girlfriend and trusted partner – outing her to people and then laughing it off when she gets mad. If Erin seems like she’s uncomfortable with a certain character, like Dr. Gorin or whoever, knowing that she’s bisexual while you’re writing her, then respect that about her. Make the other characters respect that about her. I see post after post decrying how Hollywood gay narratives where one partner is in the closet and the other partner is pissed about it is complete bullshit because in real life, gay couples are almost always completely understanding when someone’s in the closet because they understand how hard it is and know the dangers of being out – and yet the Holtz/Erin fandom continually and repeatedly write the Hollywood gay narratives instead of writing anything based on real life. It’s infuriating and more than a little disturbing because if this nearly 100% queer fandom can’t respect things like people’s wishes about who is told about their sexuality or people’s gender expression or their preferred name, then how the hell am I supposed to feel comfortable interacting with them? How is anyone who doesn’t fit some narrow, white-cisgendered-lesbian-who-figured-everything-out-when-they-were-16-years-old narrative supposed to feel comfortable interacting with that fandom?

That’s my thoughts on the Holtz/Erin portrayals and characterizations.

#my meta #Erin Gilbert #Jillian Holtzmann #Holtzmann #read more cut #(in case it doesn't show up on mobile)#ask #Anonymous

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plaintesjustifies · 6 years ago

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Experimentation on dogs by Telethon? / Expérimentation sur des chiens par Téléthon ?

As you know, I am a skeptical person. I like to discover and learn new things, to be informed, but I don’t like to try to manipulate myself. While browsing Facebook, as I often do, I was horrified to see that an acquaintance had shared a text that didn’t give me confidence. Here it is :

"This is the Beagles daily in laboratories working for the Telethon! The poor dogs suffer so much that they scream with pain. So, of course, it disturbs ... So, they cut the vocal cords to no longer hear them! Thank you to all the nice donors who in December made pledges to the Telethon or plan to make .... When you confirm by sending your check, think of all the animals on which they will do experiments and who will suffer because of you! Make a useful gesture: ask the Telethon to stop their experiments in the lab on animals and, failing that, accept that they are more framed and especially filmed. Because no, research isn’t only on mice and fish as they say ... For 50% of the two million animals used for experiments each year in France, they are dogs. Dogs who endure a real torture, unacceptable and unworthy. "

1 - The photo Surely the easiest item to check. A quick tour on Google Image allows us to discover that this image doesn’t correspond to that taken by PÉTA (For an Ethics in the Treatment of Animals), the same organization that denounced the problem of animal abuse in Telethon laboratories, in France. In addition, his images come from experiments on dogs on tobacco. Out, the Telethon doesn’t do any study on tobacco. They are mostly studying neurological diseases, muscular or rare diseases that are not directly concerned by tobacco. This image therefore poorly illustrates the theme. It would have been better to put an image extracted polemical videos or a polemic videos in itself.

►https://www.google.fr/search?safe=active&hl=fr&tbs=sbi:AMhZZivDpD5ZM8M_1L-DFz2XFzYXX9xUD2udG4gXds5aQFQVSoJR6hcJLlybvTpyO26ttvyM-Dx7nogxc-yOkPtDdTn5GFdaRFhKqQhlZ0liYkO9NFLyWYhamWpYgqxrlVL3tidFPRhnv_1wxxKYx39DfW2V7DizOaaCG1OYz2r3mlf7wNT2iKBmrxxjlPyzRgsCOTzPJwBcp5EjuTngXr0HI4001Pgqs2yG9qQ4kcsGqdsutpjOz1ZNX6iXSEZso8wFqKDfTyA_1Uc508v8BInF1n7fdV3KinsUbM89gV7lJM5HAAMtUf9pgthYtRhDcA7K2BDK52EIyDuWnnnbEqu1o1-Romodhhkrw&ei=am0RXIHdAqnDlwSfnKa4Bg&start=10&sa=N&ved=0ahUKEwiBup3ejpvfAhWp4YUKHR-OCWcQ8tMDCHg&biw=1366&bih=631

►https://www.afm-telethon.fr/guerir/traitements-638

2 - The Beagles Being myself a student in a scientific field, I asked myself the question of the choice of the dog for the experiments, and even more specifically the Beagles. Indeed, apart from Pavlov's experiments, I have never heard of dog use in experiments. I then discovered that dogs were well used in some experiments. I then looked for why I chose Beagles. There are two simple reasons for this choice. First of all, the Beagles is a rather obedient dog. Scientists have no trouble handling them. In addition, they are neither too small nor too big, which would correspond to the weight and size of a child.

►https://fr.wikipedia.org/wiki/Exp%C3%A9rimentation_animale#Le_choix_du_mod%C3%A8le_animal

► http://www.holidogtimes.com/fr/la-face-cachee-du-telethon-experimentations-sur-des-chiens-cobayes/#gs.D5eR3vU

3 - The sectioning of the vocal cords Personally, I think about the fake, for that point, even if I'm only 75% sure. Indeed, I searched for the famous videos that had made the controversy grow. Unfortunately, I found only those showing the Golden Retriever. On his videos, dogs bark and don’t seem to have any vocal cord problems. So, I tell myself that if they didn’t cut the vocal cords to his dogs, bigger and therefore shouting technically stronger, then why they would have done on Beagles? Moreover, when I read the articles, they don’t talk about sectioning the vocal cords.

► http://www.holidogtimes.com/fr/telethon-nouvelles-revelations-choc-sur-la-souffrance-des-chiens-de-laboratoire/#gs.62UIXQA

4 - Let's talk numbers In this text, we are told that 50% of the 2 million animals tested (1 million animals) are dogs ... That, it made me tick. While searching, I discover that, in France, only 3 000 dogs are used to make experiments. We are far from 1 million.

► http://www.natura-sciences.com/environnement/experimentation-animale-europe745.html

5 - A recent controversy? Not really. When we search a little, we discover that this controversy doesn’t date from this year but rather from 2016. The videos, they even date from 2013.

► http://www.lefigaro.fr/actualite-france/2016/12/02/01016-20161202ARTFIG00324-peta-denonce-le-financement-d-experimentations-animales-par-l-afm-telethon.php

What do I conclude? I am against the use of animals in experiments. Unfortunately, I know that another weight weighs on the scale. This isn’t an excuse, it’s true, but alternatives to animal testing aren’t yet sufficiently developed. We will have to wait several more years before this is possible. If we go back to the text itself (and not to the cause it defends!), I can say that the comments were exaggerated to arouse pity and / or anger. I think that wasn’t done to hurt. Animal welfare affects a lot of people, and I can understand that we want to shake people up for action. Unfortunately, this benevolent attempt remains misinformation. The information I gave you to do this review took me three quarters of an hour (and I have a very very slow PC) basic research that is to say without going to specific sites, only in typing a few simple words in the search bar. So it's not so difficult information to find, even if a bit long, but I consider that when a topic interests us or concerns us, we learn as best as possible not to say nonsense. Some may cry to lies. In this case, I would be very happy to be given concrete evidence (with sources) to get close to the truth.

Finally, my friends, one last message for you. Faced with incredible information, strange, sulphurous, don’t forget to remain skeptical because there are things we can’t doubt in our world. We can’t doubt that people are lying to us. There can be no doubt that people are trying to attract attention to get noticed. We can not doubt that some people can create fake news just to hurt, to take revenge …

( Sorry for my horrible english and for the french article ! )

Comme vous le savez, je suis quelqu’un de sceptique. J’aime découvrir et apprendre de nouvelles choses, d’être informée, mais je n’aime pas qu’on essaye de me manipuler. En naviguant sur Facebook, comme je le fais souvent, j’ai eu l’horreur de voir qu’une connaissance avait partagé un texte qui ne me donnais pas confiance. Le voici :

« Voici le quotidien des Beagles dans les laboratoires qui œuvrent pour le Téléthon ! Les pauvres chiens souffrent tellement qu'ils hurlent de douleurs. Alors, forcément ça dérange... Donc, on leur sectionne les cordes vocales pour ne plus les entendre !

Merci à tous les gentils donateurs qui, en décembre ont fait des promesses de dons au Téléthon ou prévoient d'en faire.... Lorsque vous confirmerez en envoyant votre chèque, pensez à tous les animaux sur lesquels ils vont faire des expérimentations et qui vont souffrir à cause de vous !

Faîtes un geste utile : demandez au Téléthon de stopper leurs expériences en labo sur les animaux et, à défaut, d'accepter que celles-ci soient plus encadrées et surtout filmées. Car non, les recherches ne s'effectuent pas que sur des souris et des poissons comme ils l'affirment...Pour 50 % des deux millions d'animaux utilisés pour les expériences chaque année en France, ce sont des chiens. Des chiens qui endurent une véritable torture, inacceptable et indigne. »

1 – La photo

Sûrement l’élément le plus facile à vérifier. Un petit tour sur Google Image nous permet de découvrir que cette image ne correspond pas à celle prise par PÉTA ( Pour une Éthique dans le Traitement des Animaux ), cette même organisation qui a dénoncé le problème de maltraitance des animaux dans les laboratoires de Téléthon, en France. De plus, ses images viennent d’expériences faites sur des chiens sur le tabac. Hors, le Téléthon ne fais pas d’étude sur le tabac. Ils font majoritairement des études sur des maladies neurologiques, musculaires ou encore des maladies rares qui ne sont pas concerné directement par le tabac. Cette image illustre donc mal le thème abordé. Il aurait plutôt fallu mettre une image extrait des vidéos polémiques ou encore une des vidéos polémiques en elle-même.

►https://www.afm-telethon.fr/guerir/traitements-638

2 – Les Beagles

Étant moi-même étudiante dans un domaine scientifique, je me suis posé la question du choix du chien pour les expériences, et encore plus spécifiquement les Beagles. En effet, à part les expériences de Pavlov, je n’ai jamais entendu parlé de l’utilisation de chien dans des expériences. J’ai alors découvert que les chiens étaient bien utilisés dans certaines expériences. J’ai ensuite cherché pourquoi avoir choisi des Beagles. Il y a deux raisons simples à ce choix. Tout d’abord, le Beagles est un chien plutôt obéissant. Les scientifiques n’ont donc pas de mal à les manipuler. De plus, ils sont ni trop petit, ni trop grand, ce qui correspondrait au poids et à la taille d’un enfant.

►https://fr.wikipedia.org/wiki/Exp%C3%A9rimentation_animale#Le_choix_du_mod%C3%A8le_animal

► http://www.holidogtimes.com/fr/la-face-cachee-du-telethon-experimentations-sur-des-chiens-cobayes/#gs.D5eR3vU

3 – Le sectionnement des cordes vocales

Personnellement, je pense plutôt du fake, pour ce point-là, même si je n’en suis sûr qu’à 75 %. En effet, j’ai cherché les fameuses vidéos qui avaient fait grandir la polémique. Malheureusement, je n’ai trouvé que celles montrant les Golden Retriever. Sur ses vidéos, les chiens aboient et ne semblent avoir aucun problème de cordes vocales. Du coup, je me dis que s’ils n’ont pas sectionné les cordes vocales à ses chiens-là, plus grand et donc criant techniquement plus fort, alors pourquoi ils l’auraient fait sur des Beagles ? De plus, quand je lis les articles, ils ne parlent aucunement de sectionnement des cordes vocales.

► http://www.holidogtimes.com/fr/telethon-nouvelles-revelations-choc-sur-la-souffrance-des-chiens-de-laboratoire/#gs.62UIXQA

4 – Parlons chiffres

Dans ce texte, on nous dit que 50 % des 2 millions d’animaux testés ( soit 1 million d’animaux ) seraient des chiens… Ça, ça m’a fait pas mal tiquer. En cherchant, je découvre que, en France, seulement 3 000 chiens sont utilisés pour faire des expériences. On est loin des 1 millions.

► http://www.natura-sciences.com/environnement/experimentation-animale-europe745.html

5 – Une polémique récente ? Pas vraiment.

Quand on cherche un peu, on découvre que cette polémique ne date pas de cette année mais plutôt de 2016. Les vidéos, elles, datent même de 2013.

► http://www.lefigaro.fr/actualite-france/2016/12/02/01016-20161202ARTFIG00324-peta-denonce-le-financement-d-experimentations-animales-par-l-afm-telethon.php

Qu’est-ce que j’en conclus ?

Je suis contre l’utilisation d’animaux dans les expériences. Malheureusement, je sais qu’un autre poids pèse sur la balance. Ce n’est pas une excuse, c’est vrai, mais les alternatives à l’expérimentation animale ne sont pas encore suffisamment développées. Il va falloir attendre encore plusieurs années avant que cela ne soit possible.

Si nous en revenons au texte lui-même ( et pas à la cause qu’il défend ! ), je peux dire que les propos ont été exagéré pour susciter la pitié et/ou la colère. Je pense que cela n’a pas été fait pour faire du mal. La protection animale touche beaucoup de personne et je peux comprendre qu’on veuille secouer les gens pour les faire agir. Malheureusement, cette tentative d’acte bienveillant reste de la désinformation. Les informations que je vous ai données pour faire cette critique m’ont pris trois quarts d’heure ( et j’ai un PC très très lent ) de recherche basique c’est-à-dire sans aller sur de sites spécifiques, seulement en tapant quelques mots simples dans la barre de recherche. Ce n’est donc pas des informations si difficiles que ça à trouver, même si un peu longue, mais je considère que quand un thème nous intéresse ou nous préoccupe, on se renseigne du mieux possible pour ne pas dire de bêtises. Certains pourront crier au mensonge. Dans ce cas-là, je serais très heureuse que l’on me donne des preuves concrètes ( avec sources ) pour m’approcher de la vérité.

Enfin, mes amis, un dernier message pour vous. Face à une information incroyable, étrange, sulfureuse, n’oubliez pas de rester sceptique car il y a des choses dont on ne peut pas douter dans notre monde. On ne peut pas douter sur le fait que des gens nous mentent. On ne peut pas douter sur le fait que des personnes essayent d’attirer l’attention pour se faire remarquer. On ne peut pas douter sur le fait que certaines personnes peuvent créer des fake news juste pour causer du tort, pour se venger…

#chien #téléthon #désinformation #dog #protections des animaux #telethon #misinformation #animal protection

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dadako-blog · 7 years ago

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ghostmartyr · 6 years ago

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Pokémon White Randomized Nuzlocke Run [Part 10]

Elite Four has been defeated, but N and all the fun of Team Plasma’s castle thing remain.

Our lineup?

tag your spoilers wow

So let’s.

Yeah.

These are my options. I don’t think beating the Elite Four alone opens up any new routes, though that might be worth checking out. Without Gelding, I have nothing that knows Fly. Exploring those options might be a little more complicated than I want, but what I want is no longer that relevant to all of this.

Staring at the list is not making it better.

Okay. What I’m going to do. ...Geez, yeah, okay, so the Electric Gym town has a guy who can tell you what your pokemon’s ivs look like. I’m not really sure what I want to go with here, so I think I’ll use that to narrow down my options.

The roadwork that keeps me from exiting Opelucid to the right is ongoing.

...I need Fly to keep my sanity. But. No, yes, I need Fly. I will Move Delete it if it’s a problem.

Great. So I have a Togetic (Tock) with Fly.

I remembered wrong, or just can’t find the iv guy. But something I did remember while looking at the map...

An unexplored area. I don’t know if it has any pokemon in it, but let’s check it out and cross our fingers.

...And that’s a bust.

I could try hitting up towns that I haven’t caught anything in and seeing if they have Surf spots? With Tock getting an Exp. Share in the meantime? I’m not comfortable using Togekiss, because I can’t remember whether or not it’s a thing that stops learning moves when it hits its final evolution or not. But as long as he’s here, he might as well get something out of it.

Presenting the dark grass off of Route 1.

So not a new route.

It’s not horrible for grinding, maybe?

I say as nothing but Tock benefits?

-considers Tock for a moment-

I have vitamins. I can feel myself leaning towards using him.

Some of the problem is that I have no idea what Ghetsis or N have. Ghestsis has the Hydreigon from hell and N has Reshiram, but nothing I have available really solves how much of a problem those things are. Togekiss, in theory, has a good movepool. I think. Something useful could be done. But that would probably involve buying TMs. I have no idea what it learns naturally.

Well, Tock just learned Ancient Power. So that’s one thing it learns naturally.

As long as it’s learning, I’ll stay away from evolving it.

...Yeah, Tock’s basically in.

New route off the side of the starting town.

There’s water and. Water. So my choices are pretty clear.

Heh. I found TM06 Toxic.

That might be useful.

IT IS MY FAVORITE THING!

But not something I really feel a pressing urge to use for my team. Damn.

Quick Ball get, and his name is Wagston now.

This route is terrible for exp, since everything appears to be in the single digits, but I think it might lead to another section where I can maybe nab another thing. So on we go.

The map says I am now in Route 18, and there’s grass. I’m going to believe it.

...

No on the Quick Ball.

I think it might be half Fighting. So I do not want to Mach Punch. (Hi I’m from the future and I happened to scroll up and see this, and self, what the fuck does that mean? Those things are not of the sense making.)

..I don’t really want Tock near a legendary so close to his level.

Switching in to Frogger and hoping for that magic Poison Touch.

That isn’t happening even a little.

Tock can probably handle one Take Down.

Terrakion uses Double Kick twice, and Tock let’s. Let’s get you out of there. And tick off another turn by healing you up a little. Same to you, Frogger.

...Ultra Ball? Yeah, it’s still green, but. My strategy appears to be letting it hit itself until I am comfortable using one of my four Timer Balls.

It keeps using Helping Hand.

I am double checking Frogger’s ability.

...Yeah, no, he can poison things. He’s just. Not. Ever.

-tosses a normal Poke Ball-

It’s night. Dusk Ball?

Would you look at that, it got a shake.

...I don’t even know if I want to use it.

This has been a lot of turns I’m not mentioning now.

I think enough turns have gone by for the Timer Ball to have its max effectiveness. I’m less sure that it will be enough.

Great Ball does the trick, though.

Wow.

...Oh. It is not Ground/Fighting.

It is Rock/Fighting.

Good to know.

Hm. Needs a name.

Rojo.

-kneads forehead-

I have no idea what I’m doing. Training Tock up a little, but. I don’t have a solid thought about what I want for my team. I was fine just going with what I happened to catch, then yay, I have more than six, and now suddenly options. Options that I don’t have solid thoughts on, since I don’t know what I need to protect myself from.

Map now says I’m at the P2 Laboratory, and there is grass about. So one more option awaits.

I don’t...

You know.

Legendaries are hard to catch?

This game’s only real mood is making me eat my words. Quick Ball ftw.

So. Uh.

Flaming chicken needs a name.

Buzz. For reasons I can’t explain without divulging the names of family members and some truly bizarre dot connections.

Also, I have picked up the Thunderbolt TM.

Okay, at this point I’m just being silly, and really, I’ve checked off the only sensible places to check for ways to fill out my team. I need to make some choices. Now.

Tock is basically in by virtue of me bonding to anything I use more than once. If things go well, he will fill Gelding’s old role of having an esoteric moveset. Only with more survivability.

That puts me with Grass/Fighting, Water/Ground, Bug/Steel, Fire, Normal/Flying.

What I could really use is some Fairy.

This gen does not have that.

Options:

Normal

Fighting/Steel

Steel

Rock/Water

Water

Water/Grass

Ghost

Fire/Fighting

Ghost/Water

Rock/Fighting

Grass/Rock

Psychic

Fighting/Dark

Fire/Flying

Bug/Flying

-ponders-

I know I have a Fire/Dragon problem. I probably have a Dragon/Dark problem, because I have convinced myself that damn thing has Flamethrower. Water besides Frogger would not be the worst thing ever.

My personal leanings: Jellicent (Peanut), Terrakion (Rojo), or Spoink (Piglet).

Peanut or Piglet would give me another Special Attacker. But I have Tock, Frogger, and Fido’s really a flex.

I think.

Rojo? Let’s Rock.

-dons sunglasses-

Training montage time.

Fido’s up front. I’m going to run away from the Machamps because Attack is not a thing Tock needs, and Fido’s cooked on EVs. Actual EV training with specific, intentional numbers drives me insane in-game, so I won’t bother, but I want to at least try for some boosts. Amoonguss isn’t a bad thing for Togekiss grinding, and Gothita isn’t either.

The Machamps will get their turn when Rojo’s up properly.

In case you wondered, this is boring af.

Oh, wait, I guess we haven’t been formally introduced to our new little ones.

Tock is Calm, but very finicky. Dude, same. Serene Grace is also a horrifying Ability in the right hands, but I don’t really know what I’m doing yet. I will figure out Tock’s moveset when it’s time for evolution. Then cry, I guess, because I’m pretty sure not having a guide for this part is going to hurt.

Great Nature, though.

Rojo is Sassy and hates to lose. We were made for each other. Justified is a bit of an overspecialized Ability, but opportunities abound for it to be useful.

Back to the grind.

Ideally, Tock gets trained up, then Tock is the one reaping Rojo’s EV harvest. Speaking of, I have no idea where to go to get Special Attack EVs. Tock should have some, but I don’t remember if anything with them is around.

Wait... Lampent. Somewhere. Near Icirrus? In the midst of all the Togetic?

...Suddenly, Ho-Oh.

...Does Ho-Oh give Special Attack EVs?

Cresselia might, back in Relic Castle. Or HP. I. Really don’t have a clear record of what gives what unless I’m looking it up, and I’m not allowed to do that.

I could just accept that I’m tanking Tock up.

WAIT, no, SLUGMA. Back where I caught Ptera! Slugma gives Special Attack EVs! I distinctly remember that because one of Ptera’s first acts on the team was murdering our prospective Slugma!

Tock has continued to learn no Attacking moves since Ancient Power. So even though he can beat Slugma of the level that will be in the cave, that is not a good use of time.

Also, since cave, Bandit is coming along for a walk.

...There’s a Pignite in the Slugma cave.

All my mistakes. Just there on display.

There appears to be nothing but Pignite in the Slugma cave.

Hey, found one! Then another! I’m not crazy!

At least not for reason of seeking Slugma where there are none.

...Why is there a Shelgon on the water.

Whatever, fine, I’m over it. I see nothing but Slugma. Level 5 Shelgons are of no consequence or interest or fascination.

I want one.

This place has a basement level with Sandile. And severely decreased visibility. And Sableye.

Do I have Flash? I have been here five seconds and this is unbearable.

Tock, you basically have no useful moves yet, so congratulations, you get Flash. Now watch as you learn something I want the next time you level up and I am plunged back into the darkness (joke’s on you, everything in here is under level 20. you are never leveling up again).

Oh, I remember now. That guy in the alleyway gave me Flash. Good times.

I was supposed to be here for training. Instead I am running away from everything and finding Kabutops on the water.

You know what, Rojo temporarily gets the Exp. Share so I don’t feel guilty about killing a few instead of running. ...Wait. I have Bandit with me instead of Rojo. Right. Okay, so Fido just gets all the exp.

There are some Fighting trainers down here that have slightly more level-appropriate encounters for Fido to chew through. ..Too bad Rojo isn’t here to enjoy it. Oh well. I’ll cry about how I have to level two whole things up later.

Hey look at how these guys’ Sawks don’t have Sturdy. Funny, that.

Oki doki, the downstairs has been explored to satisfaction. Back to Slugma.

...How many of these am I going to take down, anyway? 1 EV per, and each 4 adds up to +1 to the ultimate final stat.

That. that really makes this feel utterly inconsequential. I was going to just let as many Slugma as Fido has Bites go down. But. Geez, I think I’m just going to cycle through the Final Four and have them use up their PP, and then when that’s done to satisfaction or I’m at my sanity limit, I’ll go back to Victory Road.

Opelucid has the girl who lets you know if your pokemon’s done with EVs, right?

Twenty minutes later, this is still boring.

Picture this, only always.

This isn’t even going to do much. It’s just if I didn’t put any effort into it I’d feel weird. “I want this thing to be a useful Special Attacker. Let’s grind against things that will never give it any Special Attack EVs!”

What I like about in-game stuff is that you don’t worry about that? You just go through whatever you come across, and at the end you have a random arrangement of stats, and it’s not the best of anything, but it’s also not the worst of anything.

Put in the position of strategic grinding, where you never get an unknown anything, because you know exactly what your options are and are out of trainers, and you know exactly how you are failing to maximize the potential of your pokemon.

Knowing the numbers behind it all stresses me out, tbh. Give me invisible stats and an optimistic outlook. That is my chosen style.

I think after I hit my tolerance point with Slugma (it has been twenty more minutes), I’ll head back to Dragonspiral Tower. The Jellicent in the water outside would be another good source of nutrition for Tock.

But like all of life. That is after Slugma.

...Does Mime Jr. give Special Attack EVs? Because I seem to remember that the first level of Dragonspiral Tower is nothing but mimes. And part of the insanity of this is that Slugma is not the only thing in this cave.

The other part is getting 10 exp a pop.

Dragonspiral Tower could conceivably solve both those problems. But unlike Slugma, I don’t know Mime Jr.’s EV output for sure.

...Yeah screw it, I’m leaving.

Such better. Much change. Wow.

If only Tock had a move that was actually useful for grinding. Alas.

What.

And then there was a Cherrim.

This is clearly so much more trouble than it’s worth.

Drowning my sorrows in murdering Jellicent.

That’s going better.

Tock wants to learn Double-Edge.

No. I am not going to aid in you hitting yourself.

Thirty minutes later, I am again waging war against Slugma. I went to Opelucid in the middle to check that Tock does still need training. In the EV realm.

Forty-six Slugma later, does Tock have anything left?

Yes.

It’s what... 252, 252, 4?

Idek, but I think more Jellicent is in order. Fully evolved stuff gives more EVs. I cannot do the Special Attack grind anymore. It has defeated me more thoroughly than...

...All the comparisons I can think of relate to this Nuzlocke experience and they hurt.

The deep water spots in this area are where Skitty live. For the record.

Twenty-five Jellicent later, Tock is not done.

...I... think Jellicent and Amoonguss have different EV loot. I think Amoonguss is HP and Jellicent is Special Defense. However. It is not outside the realm of possibility that they have a matching set of either. Which would leave me bashing a wall. Hm.

(I also think that maxing out a pokemon’s EVs takes longer than my impatience gives it credit for, and if I just keep at it, things will go fine. Meh.)

Electric Gym town has those spare sportsball trainers hanging out, right? I could go fight some with them and take what I get.

Or I could wait on that until Rojo’s up.

Okay. Back to Victory Road.

Have a picture to go with the endless text.

Also, it’s apparently relevant to note that I have no idea what Ho-Oh’s EV output is. I maybe mentioned that earlier, but it’s been many, many hours since then for me.

Tock still doesn’t know anything useful.

Fido thought about learning Lava Plume, but that doesn’t really help fill any gaps, and Stomp and Bite are sadly things that I think I would regret losing.

Why does Tock keep wanting to learn physical attacks.

Tock is level 50 and still being trained solely through Exp. Share because he has no moves. I could possibly change this. But here we are.

I was going to teach him Thunderbolt so he could eat his own Jellicent. Togetic can not learn Thunderbolt. Linoone (Bandit) can, and I have no idea how that works.

I think it’s time.

Tock.

Come forth.

Adorable.

...Togekiss can not learn Thunderbolt.

Okay then.

...I think it’s time to find out what you can learn, while we contemplate just how badly I may have misjudged your true purpose.

Hey, Tock can learn Shadow Ball! That’s a useful! Let’s do that!

Back to Jellicent and Mime Jr. Which will in no way drive me insane now that Tock is big and strong enough to dispense death swiftly.

Oh, by the way, Pokemon Go has ruined me, it would seem. My reaction to Feebas appearing where I was expecting Mime Jr. was pure disdain, because how dare it get in the way of my EV training torture doomathon.

But Feebas is a pokemon that shows up in six panels in the gen it first appears in. For most intents and purposes, is excruciatingly rare. Pokemon Go, being unable or unwilling to produce similar finding difficulties, just. has it as one of the many pokemon you can find. Sure, rare, but it shows up.

But this is not Pokemon Go. This is one of the cartridge games. Feebas is a heavy rare. So. There. This is me appreciating that properly.

-soft gasp-

Tock is free to move about the cabin!

...And now it’s Rojo’s turn. But I’m way more casual with the legendaries, because I sort of expect them to be fine however. Also Victory Road and Machamp. It will not be the nightmare experience I turned this into.

Sorry Bandit, back in the box. It’s been fun. Thanks for the Pickup items.

(Real talk. In the future, when things aren’t dead, I should level Bandit up so I can get some sweet stuff as I finish my journey of seeing all the pokemon of the routes hereabouts.)

One Shadow Ball is not enough to dispatch the Machamp. Someone else might have to train Rojo. ...Batman is the wrong someone else. Palm, have at it. Palm, also no. ...Frogger?

Fido seems to be the only thing on this team that can take out a Machamp in one hit as a regular feature. Heartening.

Rojo learns Retaliate. Siiiiiiigh.

Fido is once again in first position.

Wait, I just realized where I should be training Rojo. Batman’s home ground. Or is Escavalier just Attack? I think there’s a chance it’s Attack and Defense, but I’m not sure... I know where to go for Special Defense, but not Defense, and I feel bad leaving Rojo with no Defense. Oh, wait, duh. That area off Route 1, with the Cloyster and stuff. Bam.

Did I mention Huntail is around here? Because it is.

And we are back to this.

I’m going to take a sanity break and Fly to ever single town to look for TMs for Tock.

Well, that was a bust.

Back to grinding.

Attack is possibly maxed, so I’m just going to Nimbasa with its sports people and yeah. Today is football day.

...Oh, these things are a higher level than I thought. Hello, level 40 Gurdurr. Goodbye, level 40 Gurdurr. Hello level 40 Sawk (I hate you.) Goodbye level 40 Sawk.

The other court has tennis.

There’s also a Hiker to fight outside the ferris wheel. His stuff is not nearly so level appropriate.

I think we’re at the point where I’m trying to level the whole team up more than focusing on how they’re leveled. Everything’s over 50, so theoretically, I could just go now. I don’t. I don’t really. want that. Even though the Final Four are stronger than they were. And the amount of time I spend on this will not change how strong my opponents are. I am in a considerably better spot than I was.

Except for the death.

And not having particularly good TMs to throw at Tock. The best I can do is spend all my money on a Blizzard/Thunder/Fire Blast TM. I’m pretty sure Tock can learn those, but I was also pretty sure Tock could learn Thunderbolt, and here we are.

Something else I could try is going through every area I didn’t because no Strength, checking them off the list and maybe finding some other TMs that might be useful.

Tock currently knows Ancient Power, Fly, Wish, and Shadow Ball. Ancient Power’s fine. Shadow Ball’s fine. Tock’s Attack is so awful that even STAB can not boost Fly into viability. Wish is a great move, but I have an attack attack attack style with in-game Pokemon. If I need a move that gives me health, I have serious problems. I can use a Potion and give Tock another attack.

In theory. In practice, what attack? I have almost no useful TMs.

Let’s roll them dice.

There appears to be as much nothing as possible in Dragonspiral Tower.

There’s some cave I skipped out on earlier because I was tired, right? Also places I didn’t have Surf when I first visited?

That helps me none, but the spirit is appreciated.

Batman can’t run away from a level 22 Buizel.

Did I know the route next to Driftveil had Typhlosion? Because that is a happening. There’s Claydol in the water.

Guess who’s learning Flash again.

Oh, and this is a new area!

It’s the gimmick pokemon! I watched a guy on youtube play through all of... one of the generation two games (original?) with a team of Smeargle. It was incredible. Pikasprey Blue is the channel. He does some insane stuff to spice up pokemon playthroughs. They’re neat.

Quick Ball for the win, and Smeargle is named Donna. I don’t know why. She looked liked a Donna.

Huh, Grovyle. Long time no see. Mankey as well. The next level up has Tyrogue. Oh, my heart. Love that little guy. Love how its the only thing in this whole cave Batman outruns. Electrike is also a thing.

I have long been out of comments.

I still do not have my bingo sheet.

I found the Rock Slide TM.

It has a new name. Does that mean it counts as a new area?

um.

...Wobbuffet clause?

No, fine, I fainted it without tragedy when the Quick Ball didn’t catch it and I just went for things concluding as fast as possible. Uh. I maybe. Do not want to be here. ...I picked up a Max Repel. I’m going to use it.

Also, this is Cobalion’s chamber I believe, so I got a history lesson on Cobalion, Terrakion (heh), and Virizion. At some point I had a shiny Virizion. I was pretty unhappy. The green looks cooler than the pink, and I couldn’t even complain properly because SHINY LEGENDARY.

I would prefer not to be involved in any sort of official fight with a legendary. Killing it would feel sad, and if I had a choice of catch in this chamber, it would be the Wobbuffet I just murdered. If I can, I will walk around it.

Or just avoid it entirely. Sorry dude. I don’t want to kill you.

So that’s that cave. No Special Attack TMs. The quest continues. Next stop... Nimbasa again, for the little grove thing next to it. With the woman who’s like a Zorua or something. I’m pretty sure there are Surf spots there? Maybe?

One of the desert spots also has water. As does the Bug forest area thing.

The grove thing needs Waterfall in order to be new territory, so that’s out.

I just looked at this thing and what the heck. I have a dim recollection of trainers getting their own nature, but not memory at all of what, if anything, it means. Meanwhile the color exists to hurt me. I think I get a new one after properly beating the game. One more thing to look forward to if it ever happens.

Since a day has gone by, I go back to the sportsball courts before midnight hits. Then I will return to the sad TM hunt. Basketball and baseball on the docket.

Sad TM hunt are go.

The desert area water has nothing. Just a random spot of water. With Wurmple.

Hi, grass I never came back to when I finally could.

It has level 23 Oddish. The horror. Oh, cool, Butterfree and Electrode too. And Dusclops.

I have very little memory of this place. Is this where the green legendary thing hangs out? If so I’m not going to touch it. Also I fear for my TM chances.

As I type this, I find the SolarBeam TM.

I guess the amusing part of all this is that I am going about my aims the right way. I am finding TMs. They just don’t really help me.

How come I can get to Cobalion now but not the other two? I don’t recall the lore. Something else to look up when I have guides returned to me.

Welp.

Is there anywhere else I can go?

Cold Storage has nothing new, but I did find a Scyther.

Hey, another disappointment! This one’s a Water Stone.

...There’s a Trapinch in the water.

;-;

I should clearly give this up.

Shaking grass in route... something-or-other-with-the-Salamence has Vigoroth. Neato.

I’m going to hit Twist Mountain for a look, but after that, I think it’s time to just accept that this is going to be awkward as heck.

One more round of sportsball.

Then. I’ll figure it out.

Soccer and tennis are today’s things.

Okay. Okay.

It’s time.

This place fills me with fear. The organ music probably helps with that.

The team.

Tock and Rojo with their debut. Batman, Fido, Palm, and Frogger with their return. All that’s left is to look at the TMs and cry decide what Tock’s getting.

Flash is replaced by Echoed Voice. Think Normal, Special Attack Rollout.

For the other slot, I can go with SolarBeam, Flash Cannon, or Toxic. Steel is super effective against Fairy, which doesn’t exist, Rock, and Ice. None of those are particular problems, but Flash Cannon does do 80 damage and a chance to lower the target’s Special Defense. Serene Grace would up that chance.

I think I’ll go with Toxic.

...Oh. Wait. I need the move deleter for HMs.

..............Buzz, teaching you Fly for a hot second!

I had a moment of panic where I wasn’t sure if anything else could learn it. That would be one long bike ride.

Hold up.

Wait, did I... forget something important?

Air Slash!

I could also learn Aura Sphere, but I’m pretty well set with the Fighting.

So, Air Slash! We’re going to conveniently not pay attention to the 95 accuracy because that way lies heartache! Tock has a STAB Special Attack Flying move! Rejoice!

Now the question becomes which is better: Echoed Voice, or Toxic. Hm.

Ancient Power doubles as a stat booster, so I don’t want to say goodbye to that one. Right now, Tock has two STAB attacks, and two misc. ones. Toxic loses Echoed Voice, but I mostly gave Tock Echoed Voice because facing the Big Bad using Flash was a nightmare waiting to happen.

Toxic is fantastic, but I will be fighting people who use Full Restores.

...Let’s go with this for now.

...And use a PP Up on Ancient Power.

Now we’re really ready.

Except I need Frogger in front. And everyone should have at least one special item to help them out.

Batman gets SilverPowder for Bug. Tock gets a Silk Scarf for Normal. Miracle Seed for Palm. Mystic Water for Frogger. Rojo gets BrightPowder because that seems useful (lowers opponent’s accuracy). Shell Bell for Fido.

Time to explore the castle.

N’s room.

...Music box music is creepy.

Another level up, Ghetsis reveals (? I haven’t been paying enough attention to know if it’s come up before) his plan to have everyone release their pokemon so that Team Plasma has all the pokemon and can rule over everyone. That’s the evil scheme we’ve got to be a hero to stop.

Rock and roll.

N summons Reshiram, fun cut scene stuff happens, and that summons Zekrom to the field. With other fun cut scene stuff.

You are my favorite lightning dragon.

Having a Master Ball really lowers the drama on this, but this is only the plot drama. The actual drama awaits after the catch.

Note how cool Zekrom is. Because it is.

I wish they wouldn’t make the Master Ball wiggle. Every single time I use it, I think to myself that it will somehow be the time where it doesn’t work. It does. Of course it does. But those moments before it does are always so stressful.

So, Zekrom caught, and because it’s not randomized, it will not receive a nickname, and therefor will not be used in the coming battles.

I really hope it is.

Deep breath time.

He sends Reshiram out first. It’s level 52. I have Frogger first because go Frogger. Frogger’s level 59. Surf’s up. Reshiram’s faster and uses its trademark Fusion Flare, but double resistance is a nice thing, so Frogger’s still within the green.

Surf does about half, which is great, but it’s close enough to not guarantee that another will finish Reshiram off.

Reshiram knows Hyper Beam, and Frogger is down to 73 HP.

N’s next pokemon is Klinklang. Level 50. Fido’s up, and since I believe Klinklang is more Defense than Special, Flamethrower is the move of choice.

Oh, dang. That does the trick. Fido’s faster and only needs one.

Carracosta is next, which means it’s Palm’s turn. It’s level 50, but it is heavy on the Defense if memory serves. Not very fast. Seed Bomb because I can’t remember for certain if the Rock/Water typing is right, and it’s the one that’s going to be super effective either way.

Carracosta has Sturdy, so endures the hit, and Stone Edge misses. N uses a Full Restore. Palm uses Mach Punch to do away with Sturdy, and wraps this up with another Seed Bomb.

Next up is Vanilluxe. Level 50. Fido’s back. You never got your real shot at fighting Ice things, did you buddy? Go with Fire Fang since Fido’s more Attack than Special and Vanilluxe is more Special than standard, I believe.

The gets it down to a sliver of red health, and it has started to hail. N doesn’t use an item, so the next Fire Fang downs Vanilluxe.

N sends in a level 50 Archeops.

I might point out that nothing on my team knows Thunder.

After some heavy thought, Batman is sent out. I don’t know how that will go, but that Rock/Flying typing is harder to navigate than it looks. As I am familiar. If Frogger had more HP, I’d put him back in. Depending how it goes, I might use Batman to heal Frogger up. We’ll see.

Stone Edge moves Batman to 93 HP, Hail downs her to 83, but Iron Head gets Archeops in one hit.

N’s last pokemon is Zoroark (level 50). Since Batman’s hurt (ish), I’m going to send in Palm.

...Okay, so N’s Zoroark knows Flamethrower. Palm goes from having 160 HP to having 58. .....Palm is also burned.

The combination has Palm at 28 HP.

Mach Punch would probably finish the job, but if N uses any healing items, status and weather will kill Palm.

I’ve been trying to see if I could win with only the four I had when I first made it to the castle, but they were a lower level than they are now anyway, so that was never a true test. And without the burn, Palm would have won already.

Rojo’s up. I’m not killing Palm out of pride.

Mind you, it’s tempting, and that says a lot about me, but no.

N doesn’t heal Zoroark, and the hail stops.

So I would have gotten away with it.

Rojo finishes it up with a Sacred Sword.

Phew.

But we’re not done yet.

Ghetsis comes in and proceeds to be an abusive dick to N. He also, loudly, talks about how he wants to rule the world as Alder and Cheren walk in. Nice going.

....Wait.

I don’t get to heal first?

Okay, maybe that twinkle effect N did healed things. Don’t know, don’t care, the important thing is that Frogger is in front and at full health. Ghetsis has a level 52 Cofagrigus out front. I don’t have any pressing need to switch out. I’m going to try Hydro Pump to see if I can’t get away with ending this fast.

Sliver of health left after that, and Froger is badly poisoned by Toxic. Ghetsis does the Full Restore thing while I shoot a Surf his way, I eat a round of poison, Cofagrigus uses Protect so I eat another round, but finally a second Surf gets it.

So Frogger is at 83 HP and poisoned. Ghetsis sends in a level 52 Bouffalant. ...It is probably going to know Retaliate, but in any case, Rojo is out for me.

Rojo’s faster, and one Sacred Sword ends it.

Aaaaaand it’s time for the Hydreigon. It is level 54. It should not exist, but neither should Ghetsis, so whatever. Rojo stays in due to fears of Flamethrower.

The damn thing knows Focus Blast, and Rojo is so, so lucky to be Sassy. And legendary. A Sacred Sword does the trick. Geez.

Huh, Ghetsis has a Seismitoad. Level 52. Palm’s turn to shine.

Yep, one Seed Bomb and we’re done.

Eelektross is next. Level 52. I send out Batman because I don’t think it’ll have anything that can cause her harm. Unless it knows Flamethrower. For some reason I’m suddenly very afraid it does, but I think that’s just a mood of the fight.

Anyway it knows Flamethrower.

I’m pretty sure I’ve done this too much for some part of my brain to remember that.

Luckily, one X-Scissor is enough. Then we move on to the final pokemon. Level 52 Bisharp. As the Fighting pokemon yet to take a hit, Palm’s back in the ring. Sky Uppercut goes first, hits, and faints the Bisharp.

So.

Hey.

We won.

And everyone’s okay.

...Except N, because his innocent purity and compassion for pokemon was used for evil, and now his world is upside down and he’s all confused and sad and everything.

Because Ghetsis raised you that way.

Ghetsis is a dick.

...Also, I realized that he’s talking to me about how my first pokemon thought of me. It liked me. That particular one.

Boeing.

Frogger would have been there, too. But.

Game, can we just... hit the end credits?

Fine, N has to go off into the sunset first. But after that?

HEYO!

AND THAT’S GAME!

Except not really.

What I’ve decided for this run is that it will meet its official end after I check every place on the map off, then return and fight Version Two of the Elite Four. I’ve still never beaten Alder. I think that’s the only proper conclusion Nuzlocke runs can have; the team immortalized in the Hall of Fame.

I just said it’s not, stop lying.

#Pokemon #Nuzlocke Challenge

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