#even if it's the task i want to get done | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

dailypokemoncrochet · 4 months

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Okay so we're at 623/1025 Pokemon done right now that's 60.78%, and did you know that each 1 (one) new unique crochet brings us .09% (NOT EVEN A /TENTH/ OF A PERCENT) closer to 100%. That's 402 more Pokemon to go (currently) (not including ones that have different variants/forms). That's so many. Whoa. Wow.

#text #mind boggled again about the numbers #because like. literally if there is one thing i want to do in my lifetime that i am one HUNDRED percent SURE of. it is this project #and i know that i can do it. it is a feasible task. gargantuan. monumental. long. tedious. but doable.#and also what the FUCK i have made over #SIX. HUNDRED??? OF THESE??#AGAIN NOT EVEN INCLUDING DIFFERENT FORMS #at some point i will make an extended sheet with the different forms counted out too #but i don't think i want to do that just now or on my own because oof that's gonna be an even biiiiigger number #but oh my god i am so in disbelief of my own self. how did i do this. how do i do this. how will i do this. what. what.#i know some of yall get tired of seeing these moments but just like. this is insane. im insane.#if i had just a single dollar for every one pokemon i have done. that would be over 600 dollars. i could get a nice treat with that.#i wish this was like in school where people would pledge a penny or something for every mile you walked/ran. except for my crochets.#why cant this literally be how i make a living. why cant the universe hook me up with that. universe do you hear me?? manifesting

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icewindandboringhorror · 2 years

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................ he

#i feel like I posted this already but I also can't find it in any recent posts so...#......he #cats #EVEN if I did post it.. why not poast himb again? it's he #I'm like halfway through actually editing aforementioned costumes and stuff and i WANT to work on sculptures again and I have video #s and that worldbuilding slideshow and all of these things so hopefully like.. more usual stuff soon maybe.. to be posted #for now though yeah.. just cats #The end of the year is also when I panic about the passage of time and how little I've gotten done and how I will never actually be a #sucessful game maker slash author slash cat cafe owner slash set designer slash costume designer slash psychologist #who lives in like Scotland or somehting and also owns my own candle company or something ghbjhb #and will probably just be a mentally ill hermit recluse all my life who dies early of mysterious health issues with 5000 projects left #undone and blah blah the crushing weight of chronic illness and capitalism and so on and so forth #So then I scramble to get projects done to try and meet some goals but usually that means I scatter between projects #so it takes longer to finish all of them. Like instead of dedicating 8 hours to one thing and finishing it one sitting. I'll do 2 hours on #this then 2 hours on that then 2 hours on another things. so they all get done slower even though I'm still technically making progress on #them all. This is also a very poo poo pee pee stink brain way to work and is not like. the most efficent thing but it's just how my brain #organizes tasks sometimes lol #***#(<ignore this its part of an OCD compulsion lol. anytime you see me type three asterisks I'm not bleeping out a curse word #it's just a Special Secret Foolish Thing I Have To Do At Specific Uncontrolable Times When Brain Says So gbjhhj)#ANYWAY... eeeee #Still haven't resolved my mystery chest injury though so being at te computer for too long is also kind of achey-inducing #Better get over it though because I have like 30+ hours of slideshow vidoe to edit hahaha hee hee hoo!!!!!

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jinstronaut · 2 months

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this is also why i stopped using my tracked tag for a while tbh

#and i might do it again bc its just #a reminder that no one rly cares abt what i do / who i am etc #which might sound over dramatic idk how else to describe it tho its just hollow #it feels very much like a Chore and a Task and if i dont reblog things fast enough from my tag #people get very angry and/or upset with me even tho theres just #so much content and i have 0 time so everything gets queued no matter what #like this whole experience feels like a chore lmao #and it never ever used to #but now theres so much animosity if i dont behave / interact with things Properly #or whatever the make believe rules are idk #this dash can just be so negative like have we all truly descended into madness during this hiatus #bc like i get it ive been up and down and all around too but ive never been straight up MEAN to anyone in this community #and i never want to either so this entire situation thats been bubbling for months just feels like shit #bc what the fuck changed and how do we get back to where we were #i never ever ever ever felt this way before like idk the middle of last year #but ever since like last fall its just been idk. Bad #once again im sorry if ive ever done anything to upset anyone but my silence / absence doesnt mean i dont care #ive just been Incredibly busy due to some real life changes that are out of my control #i might not have energy to answer everything but i do Read everything and it does make me smile #and i save messages that are kind in my heart so i can be reminded of the root of what this blog is supposed to be #a space for something im very passionate about and previously had nowhere else to express said passion #so like idk if we all like the same things why does this weird feeling of competition linger over us lmao #why do all ccs have to fight???? each other???? when we all love and do the same things????#i have nothing against anyone personally but what i Do take issue with is the way that ive been doing this since 2021 and im fully just #ignored and shoved aside by so many people for reasons i fully dont know or understand #so yeah idk this is a novel i just woke up from a spontaneous nap bc im so exhausted i can only stay awake for 3 hours at a time #but yeah anyways idk !#be nice its so easy !#tbd

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ialwaysknewyouwerepunk · 1 month

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#these past two weeks have been so intense that ive just.. not spoken about it once i got home from work #blocked it all out #my beloved colleague whose desk is next to mine has cancer #breast and uterus. she needs two major surgeries #they just diagnosed her two weeks ago #so we've been trying to deal with that as colleagues and friends #because we love and miss her and i am so deeply sad as well #but i feel like i couldn't process that at all bc two days after the news of her diagnosis i was asked to take on half of her work #on top of my fulltime #which i agreed to do bc i like her tasks and i want to help her and i also know i can do it #but it does feel very off bc i know i don't earn enough money for this workload to be long term and it is def like this #for the coming four months at least #so i did tell my manager that i would like a raise and. that bitch told me to BUY MORE SECOND HAND SHIT.#i seriously thought i saw my life flash before my eyes #then the day after she asked one of my colleagues who's been with the firm for over 30 years whether she was looking for another job maybe?#which caused that colleague to instantly go home in tears and be home from basically a nervous breakdown the past 1.5 week #which is her full right and i support her with all my heart but bc my management sucks it meant that we had to also carry her tasks ofc #i felt soooo spread thin and super super angry actually but i didn't even realise how angry i was until last thursday my colleague w cancer #came by the office. and talked about all of it. and i suddenly realised how sad i was but then also how angry #but i was just blocking it all out trying to stay afloat #bc we told her about what the manager had said and she said “i hope that i get the chance to really tell her how it is someday.”#“because the stress she causes with people can actually kill you. just look at me.”#and the rest of the day i felt so ready to be done with everything actually #but seeing her anger made me see my own anger #and released me of my own pent up emotions bc i had actual leg pains this week and it was purely psychosomatic #i then managed to tell some friends yesterday about what was going on and their outrage spurred me on even more #so today i emailed hr. demanding a raise #doing this amount of work while constantly feeling like the house is on fire while also struggling financially seriously makes me suicidal #and i am not joking #so.. if nothing comes of that im leaving that job and not looking back

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pl4n · 25 days

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from a while back

#my art #rare colored drawings #even if its just flats #i feel like ill only ever post art if i want to rant in the tags LOL its awesome #sometimes theres just those kinda vague thoughts and feelings that feel a little pointless to actually talk to people about yk #its nice having a lil blog to throw stuff into :) journaling i guess #i dunno i feel stressed thinking abt juggling all the different life things. its smth i see expressed a lot and yeah. literally how #i kinda think hmm i should slowly incorporate things one by one. but then its like damn life just flies tf by and youve done jack shit #but then when im actually doing things i feel like things just keep piling up and idk how long i can sustain it until it all falls down #i guess this anxiety kinda comes from having had really poor mental health during my school yrs... maybe i still do but ahh #i just wonder when the next time that everything comes crashing is gonna be yk. it feels so inevitable but the stakes only get higher #so i dunno. ive been having a hard time sleeping from anxiety.. which gives me more anxiety... which gives me even more anxiety #im supposed to be cramming these tasks into these little pockets of time but i blink and a day is gone and then a week and a month.. a year #i want to do the things i have to do but also the things i want to do. but also REST #and ik that the balance between those things is extremely necessary.. bc losing that balance is exactly how shit hits the fan #hows anyone gonna manage that?#but i guess learning to do that is what life is all about.... lmfaooooooooooooooo #time keeps slipping man i hate it #ill keep trying tho ✌️ all i can do

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volivolition · 1 month

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Is the Wip game finished? Can I still ask for stuff? If I still can, can I get a snippet from the one that give me the most rot (meet the parts)? If no, then I'm just swinging by to say hi how are you doing? <3

HI RED!! thank you for swinging by, im doing better than earlier!! my ear is getting better and im eating pizza :]!

okay so TECHNICALLY it's no longer wednesday, but i LOVE spoiling my fics so of COURSE you can have a snippet from Meet the Parts hkjh <33 you are always free to ask anytime, i will always be happy to share bits of my stories <3 AND SINCE THERE'S NO RULES I CAN SHARE MORE THAN THREE LINES!! here's like, a whole React Speed thing i just wrote :]

LOGIC – Along with Coach and Sparks – Flighty and Fingers too, I suppose – they're why you have trouble sitting still for long periods of time. The attention deficiency disorder... Or are they exacerbated by it? I still haven't figured out which is the cause and which is the effect...

REACTION SPEED – Point is, we got zoomies! Can't sit still. Always more to do, more to see, more to say.

YOU – "Are you why my leg is always-"

REACTION SPEED – Bouncing, yep! Fingers tapping, hands flapping, feet moving, words flying- hey, if you had wings like me, we'd never be touching ground.

YOU – "You have wings?"

KIM KITSURAGI – He jots this down with an interested hum.

REACTION SPEED – Yes! Books, what- which animal–

ENCYCLOPEDIA [Medium: Success] – You have the hovering wing type of trochilidae – hummingbirds, colloquially – with their ability to rotate their wingspan at the shoulder and elbow joints to create maximum lift. However, though you exhibit some iridescent feathers associated with the birds, your wings also connect to membranes, which share the Voronoi tessellation of the species anisoptera, the common dragonfly.

REACTION SPEED - Yeah, exactly! I'm a hummingbird and a dragonfly. Both of 'em. :)

#task: meet the parts #inland drabbles #volta transmissions #the :) is not in the original but i added it here for fun <3 :)!!! ALSO YAY my reaction speed has wings :]#im glad you like meet the parts :'] its hard for me to work on it but i just wrote this scene thinking ''oh but red loves these guys'' hkjg #like! i LOVE the premise of meet the parts as much as the next guy but i dont like how im writing it hkjgh? i dont know what im doing :']!!#i need to finish my character analysis for all the skills first because i feel like im writing them too shallowly... ough im trying #how am i introducing kim to the skills when even i dont know the skills!! im building a house with a foundation made of peanuts hkjh #like hm. ency wouldn't touch on so many subjects so briefly? he'd zero in on one topic and talk.... or not? idk!! im not an int guy!!#reaction speed does use a LOT of exclamation marks though i love this for him. his sentences are often short and cut into phrases.#''Blam! Straight in the eye. Straight in the old eye-orb. In *the lookin' ball*!'' short pointed sentences. also oh my god he's silly <3 #restless and energetic. coach wants you to move; echem needs the dopamine; but react speed puts the Hyperactive in ADHD!#sidenote: canon in reaction speed's description ''working in tandem with your Intellect skills'' GUY WHO GETS ALONG WITH THE INTs :D <3 #anyway this is also the one of the few skill-centric fics im writing that don't have my usual skill actions :0 #''REACTION SPEED flutters excitedly; twisting to try and catch a glimpse of his own wings - Yes!'' vs just ''REACTION SPEED - Yes!''#which means a lot of what the skills are doing or thinking as characters are cut out unless i have them mention it in dialogue #which SUCKKSSS for me because i LOVE focusing on the skills but i often leave it out when the outside world is involved (harry and kim)#it presents a unique challenge to just write characters with only dialogue. ough... curse my current lack of interest in the humans hkfjh..#ANYWAY im running out of tag space so im done rambling hkjhg thank you for asking red! :D #esprit: Red

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manynarrators · 5 months

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Some gifs for the wtnv characters most likely to come up in my fics and my hcs!

...at least the ones with face claims.

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trans-xianxian · 8 months

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I'm enjoying the fontaine storyline so far I feel like it's progressing the plot forward a good amount and we're getting some rlly cool and important lore info but I Am sort of like. can we solve an insane crisis now. can we have a boss fight please. I enjoy that we're learning a bunch of stuff but it feels like we're Only learning a bunch of stuff and not actually Doing anything of monumental plot importance we're just sort of watching all of the other characters do it

#like I enjoyed the newest archon quest a lot it was great it kept me engaged!!! but also we didn't do anything #like we weren't even there to help fix the water thing because we were sitting silently watching arlechino interrogate furina???#everything we've done so far in fontaine feels very idle #the trial last patch was so low stakes in like. the grand scheme of things and just served as world building/an elaborate lore drop #most of the archon quest this patch was investigating childe #and then when the big high stakes thing Did happen we weren't even really there for the important part #we did nothing at the tea party w arlechino and furina except watch it happen #and again I'm enjoying it!! we're learning a lot and thats rlly cool!! important world and character information is being gained!!!#but we aren't Doing anything or Solving any problems like we did in other nations #and I guess its sort of a nice break? but doing random tasks while watching Other characters fix the crisis is sort of getting old #like I think fontaine has had some of the best written storyline thus far #I just want to actually participate in something of real significance to the world or nation as a whole #hopefully they are just doing like. a fuck ton of exposition for The Big Crisis and its gonna feel extra important #but like. chop chop #never thought I'd actually be Asking for a boss fight 😭#ghost posts #text #genshin

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lightblueminecraftorchid · 8 months

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Me, yesterday, 5:30 PM: wow I’m honestly doing so great at my adult tasks; I’ve gotten some homework done, I went grocery shopping, my laundry is almost dry. I spent so many spoons and I barely feel tired! Maybe I’m finally fully recovering from burnout!

Me, yesterday, 6:00 PM: oh.

#turns out that I was not drawing from an unlimited spoon supply when I spent spoons so fast #and instead was overdrawing #because at 5:59 I thought ‘oh you know I’m a bit tired I should lay down’#and then spent almost six hours in Nap Hell as I laid down too tired to get up and take my sleep meds #but also not really sleeping consistently. like dozing except I didn’t want to.#woke up ~11:50 and apparently sent some very misspelled messages to my friends #took sleep meds. and then passed out until morning.#so… I’ve learned something here. such as ‘even if you feel fine. you know you’re spending too many spoons. slow down.’#I’m gonna try to go to bed early tonight too #and just. rest. bc I know Thursday is going to be a lot for me bc of my ASL class.#just gotta get these labs done first #the exhaustion is partially also my fault bc instead of going to bed after getting home from the airport #I did in fact go straight to DND and played until midnight because DND is Monday nights now.#but in my defense. I had napped on the plane. so I didn’t feel v tired.#but yeah I shouldn’t have done that bc that meant I was operating on a Significant Sleep Deficit yesterday and still had a lot of tasks #that absolutely could not wait. I needed food bc I didn’t have any in the house and needed laundry bc all my wearable clothes were dirty.#and I’d been in class since 9:30AM and went straight to the store from my last class and then straight to laundry after putting away grifos #and STILL FORGOT TO GET GAS #it’s fine I’ll get some today after chemistry or smth on the way home

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youremyonlyhope · 1 month

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why won't my brain shut up why won't my brain shut up why won't my brain shut up why won't my brain shut up

#i'm overthinking something that i did and was told off for doing by my director #and on my way home i was thinking when was the last time i was even talked to like that during a production #and then i remembered the costume experience from hell of only a couple months ago that i've already began blocking out #but the thing is that that person was someone i knew i'd never have to work with again #i mean at first i thought i would have to work with them more. then they announced they were moving away immediately #so i only had to deal with them face to face for another weekish after that point and anytime they yelled at me #i was like 'cool. i'll do exactly what you say to do. and nothing more.' but then of course me being me #i did some extra stuff and they initially were like 'oh that's pretty' and then days later told me to cut everything i added #and like sure i get that the show was frozen but girl. that costume was unfinished. i was trying to finish it. it was frozen but looked bad #anyway. whenever they yelled at me and had actual malice in their heart i was like whatever. i was hurt. but i didn't care as much.#but this time it's someone i've worked with many many times before and it was about a habit i have that i know isn't great #but at the same time the thing that prompted it wasn't even me doing this habit it was something else #but she interpreted it as that habit and said that i can't do that on a production she's directing #and that if i couldn't stop then i could pull out from the production and there'd be no hard feelings between us #and honestly i think her reassuring that she knows i'm valuable and that she wants me there while also telling me not to do this thing #and the fact that she's someone i like working with and will continue to work with just made it all hurt so much more #especially since she referenced another past production we've done where i didn't even realize she had noticed that i do this.#and i found myself in near tears. and still am kind of in near tears. i can't decide if i need to cry or not.#and i had NO sleep last night so i was looking forward to sleeping tonight but now i'm just overthinking EVERYTHING #and like. i know everything will be fine. if i just stop inserting myself and stick to just my specific tasks. it'll be fine.#but this is one of the ways my ocd manifests. i feel like i have to personally fix something i notice going wrong. or it'll be bad.#because every single time i choose to sit back and not be nosy when i notice something it ends up bad in a way i could have prevented #if i just inserted myself in a situation i technically wasn't part of but knew i could help or fix. so i just need to not do that.#but then i feel guilt if it does go wrong in the ways i immediately assumed it would and in a way i could prevent.#and i've been trying to work on this for like 6 months and aaaahhhh it's hard and being called out on it from her just really really hurt #i still may or may not cry. i don't know. the irony of me telling my therapist THIS MORNING that it's been a while since i last cried.#and the universe being like 'i took that as a challenge' and handing me this situation for me to spiral over.#i need to leave things alone. i need to stare straight ahead. and ignore whatever isn't specifically for me to do. but ahhh i want to help #and then of course my mom has this same habit and it annoys me when she does it yet i do it to other people and ahhhhhhhh #brain please just shut up. i need to sleep. i have to work tomorrow.

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terroristiraqi · 1 month

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ok everyone there's progress (him still adding songs to our playlist is pitiful and doesn't make me sad)

#i know there is no way he'll ever like. reflect and think he was wrong #also like. ariana grande? fr? 💀 let's be serious #obviously i wasn't perfect either but at least i damn well tried 💀💀💀#im so sorry you thought i would [checks notes] cheat on you bc u saw someone get cheated on at work. do you know who i am #im having funnnn im staying silly ...... such a sisyphian task though. EVERY DAY #no but like fr how did leyli not slap me through the phone ... give me that swana mom treatment #also. I HATE FACE CALLS!!! I HATE THEM SO BAD!!! esp since he never showed his face but would make me show mine 🙄#like they're bad quality most of the time and u barely even talk ... once he was like 'ik ur sad and u want me to talk-#but i just dont do that'#when i tell u i wanted to grab him through the phone and kill him. WHEN I TELL YOU.#like im so sorry i have to do the work of distracting myself when im sad? lmfao? hello?#ALHAMDULLILAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I AM DONE!!!!!!!!#won't complain if i find a cute gym fling i'll take all his money 🎀💞 OR HER .... feminism win

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levi-dayne · 2 months

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being autistic -> 🫠

vent in tags

#im so fucking burnt out #its so frustrating bc according to my parents im 'high functioning' and 'shouldnt let my autism impact me that much'#beyond that being outdated like they didnt just slap an autism label on me for FUN. its bc i fucking have autism #so yes i have difficulties related to my autism. they dont understand and its so frustrating theyre always on my ass about things i CANT do #or struggle doing bc im autistic and burnt out and i hate this so much #and i called my mom out on it and she said 'well i didnt say you dont struggle just that it should be manageable'#okay but its fucking not???????#like i stg they think my autism is JUST special interests and sensory issues. which its fucking not.#i struggle taking care of myself. i struggle interacting with people. i struggle with keeping up with things or switching between tasks #and dont even get me started on my DAD he doesnt even believe the doctors that im autistic #he compared my inability to understand social cues to wanting to be a bitch but being forced to repress it #like dude. when people perceive me as being a bitch its not bc im failing at hiding it #its bc i genuinely cant tell if my words or body language is coming across as bitchy even when i dont have any underlying resentment #he doesnt even think im autistic which is so frustrating #my mom begrudgingly accepts it but my dad thinks the LICENSED PROFESSIONALS are wrong #he hasn't done ANY research on autism EXCEPT to correct me when i say autism instead of autism spectrum disorder #which is also bullshit bc he and my mom use outdated terms like aspergers all the fucking time #(and ableist slurs)#im just so overwhelmed and i cant function #personal posts 😌✨️✨️

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aro-as-in-straight-as-a · 2 months

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…

don’t mind me im just mad as hell ill be fine in like 10 min :))))))

#if one more MOTHERFUCKER at work wants to tell me how to do MY goddamn job I’m gonna lose it #No I in fact cannot do what you’re asking me to do bc it’s gonna clog up my workstation for 45 minutes during the busiest part of my day #I get paid less than you and work in worse conditions than you doing harder shit. Fuck Off.#‘Hur dur you not doing this thing fast enough is really inconvenient’ do you know what’s also inconvenient?#The fact that none of yall bitches can do the simple task of matching SHAPES AND COLORS #and then blame ME for the fact that you fucking up a kindergarten level task made shit break #and I couldn’t babysit you because I was busy doing the FOURTY FIVE MINUTE LONG TASK that YOU asked me to do #and you don’t even have the decency to come and pick it up when it’s done #all while I’m babysitting a newbie #and me expressing any frustration gets me treated like I’m fucking hysterical and need to be sedated #I don’t hate my job generally but on days like this………..my patience is tested 🔪

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that-ineffable-devil · 3 months

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Waking up from seasonal depression into executive dysfunction is like watching a train wreck but your life is both the train and the car that stalled on the tracks.

And you're the one conducting the train.

And the one in the car's driver seat.

And the one watching from so close by that you're probably going to get wiped out by chunks of vehicular shrapnel.

#i joke #but also #fr tho #I finally started shaking out of what I didn't realize was a depressive episode #Only to find I'd let a TON of stuff slide for months #And now I've got a to-do list a mile long and am struggling to even pick a task to start with #But also I really really really want to get this stuff done #Some of it may even be enjoyable #But my brain says nah let's just lay on the couch and stare at that super interesting ceiling while we panic #cw: depression

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dendrochronologies · 4 months

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there is something so deeply deeply fundamentally wrong with me (collects a list of library titles and wraps them around myself like a blanket. burrows right in there. just fucking nestles within the possibility of reading a good list of library books even if they will definitely end up sitting on my kitchen table untouched for eternity)

#ohhhhhg i want to be DONE with my Arduous Tasks i want to go back to my reading routine i miss it i miss it SO BADDDDD #being really strict w myself about spending more time with friends even if it's at the expense of Reading because. well. Need Them #last night we spent an hour talking about pal and still managed to make space for rolling over each other laughing. like. Necessary !!#everything can collapse so quickly. people can get sick or move away and the world will change again! and it was a mistake not to invest #in people who love me so much more than i was willing to accept. and i don't want anyone to die without being told how loved they are.#it's just such a waste. let's love instead. can we just love instead?????#james baldwin voice all i know is if i love you i love you. and if i love you and duck it i die

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anouri · 4 months

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i know it’s the lovely experience of being neurodivergent but i feel like throwing a temper tantrum every time i realize that i’m so exhausted and i don’t even complete like so many basic life tasks i should be doing, while other people are managing just fine. like what do you mean people cook themselves dinner everyday? what do you mean people don’t spend hours ruminating on a 10min task then end up fatigued from said rumination? wdym people don’t let their chores stack up to an embarrassing level? wdym people don’t have to fight a war to get out of bed every morning? wdym people don’t feel the need to go silent for 2 days straight after a work week? wdym people can do all of this while maintaining a social life and working? what the fuck do you mean??????

#this meltdown is sponsored by me not having energy to cook dinner then making eye contact with my laundry and then thinking about the #work tasks i was meant to complete today #and they didn’t get done bc the activation energy of me getting started on a task is extremely high #and i had a lot of weird 30 min gaps bwn meetings so i didn’t use those 30 min gaps #but if i used them i would’ve gotten my stuff done #and also thinking about some furniture i bought months ago but haven’t had the energy to even take out of the box #let alone build #jesus fucking christ i just want to be able to handle living life but that’s too much to ask i guess #a decomposing dump of my thoughts

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