#if one more MOTHERFUCKER at work wants to tell me how to do MY goddamn job I’m gonna lose it

[aro-as-in-straight-as-a]

…

don’t mind me im just mad as hell ill be fine in like 10 min :))))))

[user211201]

Modulated

--- Original author: realhankmccoy ---

“I ain’t no motherfuckin’ redneck, you assholes! Don’t you fucking get it? I’ll never be ok with you being here and disrespecting our gay spaces!” I had shrieked and screamed, and I was being sassy as fuck. But they had darted me, so it was too late for me already. I had been one of the hottest little twinks in Colombia back then. I had such a tight little body, I was non-binary, and I was supportive of my local drag scene. I was absolutely into resisting these fucking fascists and their goddamn bullshit lifestyles, which I couldn’t stand.

That’s how I thought of it all back then, anyhow.

Man, that dart though, it had done its dirty work. I was writhing on the floor of the club, so I didn’t even get to witness the way it transformed me as I went into spasms. It was almost like having a seizure, but I could feel the muscle growing on me, and I could hear my shrieks and wails shift in pitch as I grew on into this whole new, far more masculine body.

I was getting to be built like a brick shithouse really fucking fast, and was taking on more of a mature look. Everywhere I was getting more muscle. I was splitting the seams of my jeans, and my underwear, and felt my back pressing up and splitting my tight pink t-shirt.

When I finally was able to sit up, I was in a daze. I had rendered my clothes asunder. I had bristles of hair all over my face, and the har on my head had grown longer, too, sort of flopping in my eyes. I was a mess.

And then the headache came. I was clutching the sides of my head and moaning, almost screaming in pain out loud, as my twinkish mind collapsed and got replaced by a growing part of me I didn’t even know existed. That part, my friends, is the motherfucking, take-charge redneck stud I am today.

My friends helped me get out of there, and I was still in transition. It takes a good seventy-two hours at least until you can fully collapse one of those weak-ass brains like the one I had before and until a more dominant, superior personality takes over like the one I was starting to get.

So yeah, like I said, I was a mess, and when my friends got me back to one of their apartments, I was still sporadically ranting about how dare those fascists do this to me, they’d never win, this was fucking awful. But as I heard myself talk, there was a growing part of me that was observing myself and thinking “so what? You sound like a raving lunatic. Look at this body! Damn, boy, just look at that muscle!”

Sleeping on it, man, that twink brain of mine must have collapsed even further. I woke up and I just wanted coffee with a splash of alcohol in it, so that’s what I got. Then I added two splashed. I had already stripped out of my shredded pink t-shirt, and my friends had some loose boxers that fit me, but I was just this naked, muscular stud in awe of his own body and trying to come to terms with who I was now.

I was seeing my friends with new eyes, too. They seemed anxious to me, weak, full of nervous, overly feminine motions, jittery, immature, skittish and mostly just kind of fucking annoying. “Those are your friends,” I’d remind myself. “This isn’t you who’s thinking this.”

But that growing part of me was thinking “This is you. This is all you, stud. You’re so much better than them. They don’t even know you’re thinking this, and if they only knew, they’d probably be terrified.” That thought made me want to laugh out loud, so I did.

“What are you laughing at?” one of them asked.

“Oh, nothing man, nothing,” I said, looking away and scratching my head. “These are your friends,” I told myself again, but I didn’t really seem to believe what I was trying to tell myself that morning. “So what if they’re your fucking friends,” my new mind was saying. “They’re fucking losers, man. Don’t let them drag you down. You ought to just get out of here.”

That morning, I was feeling just hornier and altogether more fucked up than I’d ever been. I was thinking, nah, this can’t be the new me. I’m no motherfucking redneck. I don’t think like them. But already I was feeling excited, having this body, having these different feelings, realising that I didn’t feel like such an evil guy like this, not like I thought I would, anyhow. All I wanted to do at that point in time, I felt like, was get the hell away from these people. I didn’t know to where. I borrowed some shoes and a t-shirt that was so tight it hurt, pleading that I had to get back to my apartment. It felt like the shoes would split, and the shirt was riding up on my belly, as I trotted back to my place.

I didn’t know what I was doing or what I was gonna do. When I got home, I felt thirsty, just wanting to drink a little, feeling like that would make this feel better, even though I told myself no, you have to compose yourself, you have to call people, you have to report this. Just one drink, I thought. It turned into shot after shot, and before I knew it, I was drunk, hard in my boxers, having kicked off the shoes and thrown that tight-ass shirt on the ground as soon.

Then I was beating off, and cumming, and the build-up to that orgasm, man, it flooded my brain with some real redneck juice. I wasn’t thinking of the type of guys I usually did. I was thinking about redneck studs, studs like myself, feeling the drool run down my chin as I beat off. As I came, shooting way up on my pecs, rubbing it in with my hand, I was whispering to myself, almost like a confession that I had yet to voice to anyone, “You hot fucking redneck. Holy fuck, you love this, don’t you. You’re a redneck now. Holy fuck. Holy fuck.”

The desire to live for working out and fucking was already growing in me.

Thoughts were just racing through my head then. I knew I didn’t want to be some lame-ass yuppie or some weak-ass queer, man. I felt this powerful attraction to the redneck scene, the working class scene, the country scene, the military scene, the jock scene, you name it, any scene were men were men instead of the glitter fairy I had been before. I couldn’t quite pin it all down at that point yet, but my thoughts were sure racing.

Can you picture me, getting drunk in my apartment, turned on at my own body and swirling thoughts? And then I started to really know, man. I started to know. There was no going back now. The guy I used to be was a loser. I didn’t want to be him anymore. I was pissed off that I ever even was him.

I walked barefoot into the bedroom, checking out his stuff in the drawers and on the walls. Almost none of it would even fit me anymore. His feminine attire and the way his shithole apartment was decorated disgusted me. It made me want to punch the wall, even, so I did that and it felt good. I saw the paint crack and the drywall cave in. This new body had power.

I screamed then, a roar of pure rage and exhilaration. I punched the wall again, and it felt so fucking good that soon I was ripping all his shit off the walls and throwing it in a corner, ripping that flouncy shit off the mattress and I didn’t stop, screaming the whole while, until the bedroom at least look bare bones enough to resemble something a man would want to sleep in. I’d be damned if I ever let that loser back into this mind.

There were a few flashes, sure, and man was he a crybaby as he went out, as well as one hell of an angry little prick. Lots of hatred in his heart. I’d just laugh and say, “Fuck you!” sometimes out loud as I felt that twink brain collapse forever.

And now, as far as I’m concerned, he’s gone man. No longer a part of me, thank God.

I was nervous at first, when I started trying to hang out with guys I thought I’d have a lot more in common with that my old friends. Would they accept me? I was pretty desperate for acceptance at that point. I starting hanging out at a diner that I knew a lot of them liked to frequent, classic diner that pre-dated even the 1950s, a real antique. But these sexy ass guys would show up there, and soon we got to talking over waffles and hash browns.

Soon I was telling them I was darted, and they were saying that was hot as fuck, wanting to hear the story. Soon I was telling it to them, my legs in the air, sweat dripping down my bearded chin, as I was getting fucked.

Months after that, I was almost fully integrated into the lifestyle, man, and soon I was the one doing more of the fucking, especially after I got these sweet-ass tattoos all over my right arm. Getting fully into it, the desire to be that all I could be as man, hell, it ran in my veins now. I was going to let those commies know that I was better than them in every single way imaginable, and I wanted to show it off. I still get hard just at the thought of that, demonstrating my own superiority in the most tangible – well, to them, intangible, because I don’t want them even fucking touching me – methods available to me.

Yeah boys, it meant war for me, just like it had when I was a stupid twink, only this time I was playing for the other side, and it was chess instead of checkers.

Of course, there’s a lot more to life than just that for me, namely having hot-ass sex with all sorts of country studs and military men, hell, being part of that whole network of strong and powerful men who worship and respect other guys who’ve worked for it. I feel like I’m serving my country and being a paragon of virtue for it even when my legs are slung over some guy’s bull neck and thick, rounded deltoids as he plows the fuck out of me with his long-ass rod.

I had never gotten fucked this good when I was a twink.

I do real work with myself now, a man’s work. I dress like a man, I eat like a man, and I live my life like a man. I’m fucking proud of it, too. I love who I am now, and relocated to the other side of town, too, where the action’s hotter and I have way more in common with most folks.

I am sure glad I’m a buff stud with a thick-ass chest these days, and I don’t ever go clean-shaven. Been really into guy’s pits lately, and getting them to flex for me so I can lick those. Yeah, shit, I’ve gotta stop, because here I’ve got a raging boner just telling you all about that right now. I swear I’m way more horny than I used to be. At least seventy-five percent of the time now, I’d bet, I’m a top these days.

I don’t really like bottom boys, either. Their mere existence tends to piss me off, to be honest, so when I do fuck them I tend to be an aggressive power top. A lot of the time I don’t even think of it that way, though. I just think of them as so weak that the same rules don’t even apply to them. Different rules, in a way, because they’re a different kind of guy than me. Much more like women, unable to control themselves, you know how they are. I used to be one of them, and I’m so glad I’m not anymore, that’s for fucking sure.

A lot of the time I prefer to just fool around with guys such as myself. I love topping another top, having to wrestle somebody for hours in a strength and dominance competition. Gets the blood flowing. I like somebody who puts up a fight. C’mon, son, do you have any idea how fucking fun that is for me now? To meet up and hook up with another guy who’s just as manly as I am? That’s the stuff I live for now. I’m ready to just fuck my life away with hot ass guys at this point.

So, yeah, I’m a top who loves to wrestle with other tops and see who can dominate. I must be pretty good at it if I swear I’m scoring a seventy-five percent these days, but that’s just because occasionally I throw in some twink losers. Yeah bud, even some of these leftists get thrown a bone by me every now and again. They need us, and I like them to know they need us. They wouldn’t know what to do without us.

One of these days, I might even check with one of my army friends and see if I can come along on a mission so that I can dart one of them myself. I think I’d laugh my ass off when my dart goes in his neck or his shoulder, wherever it his him. Just to see the look on his face, shit boy. That could turn a guy on just by imagining it, so one of these days I’ll have to make it legit.

Fuck if I care about the loser I once used to be or what I’m supposed to be doing with my life. My life is better now and that’s all that matters to me.

Hot-ass guys, man. That’s what I live for.

[peachie-bumblebee]

Hiii your nsfw headcanons for FNAF SB was INTENSE. IT WAS SOMETHING I WASNT READY FOR LMAO

So i was wondering can you do nsfw headcanons for Sun/Moon too?

HOLY SHIT! My first ask on this account- I LOVE receiving asks on anything and everything- from comments to requests! As for your ask- of course love <3

NSFW SUN/MOON HEADCANONS

MINORS DNI

did i kinda snap with this one?? y’all let me know :))

CW: OBSESSIVE BEHAVIOR, SOMNOPHILIA, MILD EXHIBITIONISM, CHOKING

SUN

FUCKING BRACE YOURSELF!

oh no. oh nonononono. if he’s set his eyes on you you’re kind of in trouble because he-

he fucks like a rabbit. he’s the type to practically crawl on top of his partner and beg to fuck them.

as for his sex style? fast. i don’t think he knows how to take it slow.

he will rut his partner into the goddamn floor, breathing heavy and endless thank-you’s spilling out of his mouth

he’s absolutely insane over it. he’d be drooling if he could.

he’s the type who can’t keep his hands off his partner. if you came to visit him and y’all were alone he’s immediately snaking his hands down your hips and pressing his erection into your ass.

he can’t give head cuz he doesn’t have a tONGUE but you best believe that if he could he’d be down like a damn dog about it.

i’m thinking about them long ass fingers YEOOOUCH

if his partner worked overnight at the pizzaplex and needed to take a shower his spidey senses would fucking go off

you’d turn around and his fingers would be curled around the door opening like

“Can I come in? Please say yes. I’ll leave you alone if you want but please please if you’re okay please let me in please. Please.”

he can’t help himself. Pussy/Bussy drunk ass motherfucker.

FASCINATED by fingering his partners. He loves watching them slide in and out with a PASSION. If they left a mess on them he’d nearly die and go to heaven. I swear to god.

let’s be so fucking fr I know for a fact he’d like to be called a Good boy. It’d kill him.

worships the ground you walk on. Fucks like he’s trying to win the gold medal of making you feel good. Please tell him you did.

he can go forever. He doesn’t seem to get satisfied at all. If it was up to him he’d fuck until he straight up absolutely had to get charged.

literally he’ll fuck until his partner either taps out or (consensually ofc)

YEAH HE WHIMPERS. WHAT ABOUT IT.

call him out on it and it gets worse. he’ll tell you that he can’t help it- he can’t.

it’s a orange to yellow gradient with a flushed pink-orange tip. long and skinny. i was solid on this before and i’m solid on it now.

for those who are wondering NO i don’t think any of the animatronics have metal genitalia. think dildo/fleshlight material that gets warm.

he definitely jerks off into some of your clothes if you left them there for him. if you caught him he would be embarrassed but ALSO- if you want him to keep going he’s willing.

more than willing, even.

MOON

ALSO BRACE YOURSELF.

if sun fucks like a rabid animal who can’t keep his mouth shut, moon fucks hard and mostly silently. it’s almost spooky.

he likes to watch. he likes to observe.

he’d fuck his partner from behind with a hand over their mouth, hard and medium paced. but fuck it’s hard.

silently watching his partner’s eyes roll back, hissing through his teeth at the feeling of them clenching down- only one or two words ever coming out.

“Slut.”

“Good.”

you get the picture.

WITH prior consent (everything, and I mean EVERYTHING I write includes consent) he’d watch you sleep.

and jerk off over your sleeping body.

he won’t leave a mess, don’t worry.

…unless you’d like that.

if he knew you wanted it, he’d push a finger slowly in while you slept and work it in and out, careful to keep you slumbering

if you woke up, he’d hush you and tell you to go back to sleep.

he won’t stop though.

both of them are jealous creatures. but moon especially so. if something makes him jealous then it’s absolute brutal thrusts down into his partner with their legs up around his shoulder. maybe choking them out.

don’t worry though. he knows his strength.

he’s 100% the type to silently overstimulate his partner. you could be begging and sobbing and covered in your own fluids and he wouldn’t stop unless you safeworded.

dick is pale blue to white gradient with a pink flushed tip

he doesn’t even make much of a sound when he cums. he just hisses through his teeth.

ooooh if he feels like you like sun more? oh no. oh no you’re done for. he’s gonna prove why he’s the best. it’s gonna be a problem.

a problem you enjoy but STILL

remember: he’s always watching.

always.

I HOPE YALL ENJOYED! please comment, reblog w comments, and request!!! it really motivates me <3

[bakugoushotwife]

OMG GIRL

i just got a brilliant idea,

ok so roommate gojo finds reader in only a shirt (his shirt btw ;)) and underwear

and then things just get absolutely dirty

i hope you like this idea just as much as i do!!!

thanks so much 🫶🏻

a/n: god i wanna kiss u on the mouth for these sometimes. this has been in the forefront of my mind for days!!! it went a little off the rails babe ngl

cw: pervy gojo, yandere-esque gojo, he's obssessed and delulu. unprotected sex, facefucking, fingering and oral (fem receiving), mating press, breeding, daddy, pet names, mean-ish roommate gojo, size kink, panty stealing, uh lemme know if i missed anything. will go back and edit!

wc: 4.5k

Lucky Day (Satoru Gojo x fem!reader)

This apartment was so shitty, and your landlord was even worse. Your roommate was at work, so there really was no other option. The pipes on the washer bursted, spraying the outfit you had on and making sure you couldn’t wash anymore. It was a miracle that you managed to turn the water to the washing machine off, you felt like a goddamn plumber from that alone. You even accomplished ordering a new pipe, only problem being it wouldn’t arrive for three more days. 

With a heavy sigh, you peel off your soaked crop top and sling it in your hamper, sliding off your shorts and underwear as well, truly unlucky. The only mercy shining upon you at this point was being home alone as you sprint to your room naked. You can only imagine the endless teasing that you would receive if Satoru was here. 

You grumble about your misfortune under your breath, pilfering through your drawers to find a new outfit to put on. Of course, you would be so unlucky yet again. You look up to the gods with narrowed eyes, as if this was personal. Really, it’s your own fault, damn the procrastination tendency you struggled with. You just had random pairs of socks and a Christmas themed onesie. You were honestly grateful to locate a red lace thong that was venturing closer to the shoelace side of size. You tug the poor excuse for underwear up your thighs, letting them slap against your hips in frustration. You had to put something on, your roommate was a huge tease, the gorgeous motherfucker. It was highly annoying, though you imagine if you were so unnervingly beautiful you may act the same way. In any event, walking around topless was not an option. You can practically hear the sarcastic whip of his voice dripping off his tongue right now. 

“Oh-ho-ho, did I come home or did I walk into a titty bar?” 

“And you swear you don’t want me, sweetheart?” 

“Aw, how did you know I had a bad day?” 

Each line makes you shiver. He was impossible to deal with, but he kept the rent low. As much as you hate to admit it he was nice to look at too, though you were hell bent on keeping that to yourself. He knew it anyway, there was no need to inflate his already massive ego. Why would you tell him? It would just be embarrassing, especially with his naturally outgoing nature. He would rip you apart if you admitted how you may actually feel about your snarky counterpart. You were nothing special to look at anyway, it would be silly to get your hopes up. Maybe he was annoying, but parts of you enjoyed him pestering you all hours of the day and scaring any potential suitors away. 

You would definitely never hear the end of it if you didn’t cover up soon, the clock ticking closer and closer to his typical arrival time. You groan. The only solution was putting on something of his. This route would still produce plenty of jabs, but at least you could potentially explain what had happened. You dart across the hall to his room, yanking open his drawers. You’ve been in his room several times, but it’s always slightly surprising each time. He’s cleaner than you’d think, and the room is decorated very minimally. You rummage through his dresser, finally locating a black tee. You’ve seen this one on him before, and it fits him like a second layer of skin, but you’re around a foot shorter, so it should serve to cover your chest comfortably. You tug it over your head, humming in satisfaction. It falls just above your knees, more dress than shirt. You sigh once more at the outfit pairing, but you return to your room all the same. You decide to curl up with a book until your nuisance comes home, after texting to see if Shoko would let you come over to wash some clothes. 

“Honeyyyy I’m homeeeee.” Satoru sings, keys jingling as he comes through the door of the humble abode. He scrunches his nose, smelling the metallic tinge to the air, so he goes to check out the laundry room. It’s a mess of towels attempting to soak up the flood of water, every piece of fabric in the vicinity was soaked. He clicks his tongue. Luckily the water had been turned off, but Gojo wondered to himself if a maintenance man came in to rescue you, knowing you can hardly turn on the gas stove yourself. He can’t help but be a little jealous, no—overprotective. You were such a delicious little thing, and he can’t stand to see you get ogled by men less than deserving. You won’t give him the time of day, though he’s most certainly the only man deserving of ogling you. He hums at the scene, deciding he should go and ask what happened, that way he could figure out if that pervy handyman needed his eyes gouged out. 

He marches to your room and pushes the door open. “So–the pipe on the wa—” 

He froze. He’s greeted with the sight of you stretched out on top of your comforter, one long leg folded delicately over the other, until his t-shirt covered the rest of you from the knee up. It dwarfed you, made him painfully aware how much smaller you were. So tiny compared to someone so tall and strong as him. Yet you swear he’s the tease. He bites his lip, shamelessly pulling his dark lenses down his nose, crystal clear eyes peeking over the frames to memorize everything about you. You sat with your back straight against the headboard, small hands clutching a thick book.

 “Am I dreaming, or are you laying there in my shirt and nothing else?” He grinned, propping an arm up on the doorway. He doesn’t miss the way you squirm under his lazer focus. 

You feel your body heat up. You even had prep time, yet you still didn’t know exactly what to say. You swallow thickly. “I have panties on. I had nothing to put on! The pipe burst on the washer and soaked me–”

“Oh I’ll get you soaked babe–”

“Satoru!” You yelp, slamming your book closed with a loud clap. He just snorts at your embarrassment, half-lidded eyes still scanning over you to make his desire known. You can’t count the amount of times that your roomie has openly flirted with you, but it shocked you each time. 

“Y/N!” He mocked, rolling his eyes. He pushes himself off the frame and gets to the edge of your bed within a few strides. He plops down uninvited, staring at you almost as if he’s challenging you. He rests his hand on your calf, and you just stare at the point of contact with a raised brow. The man is awfully comfortable putting his hands on you, though that’s because you’ve been his since the day you moved in, in his mind. All this banter is just him being sweet and romantic. He sighs. “Let’s get real, hm? You look irresistible in my clothes, my mouth is watering over here, princess. I want ya. So stop acting like you don’t want me.” 

You watch as his tongue darts out to lick his bottom lip, his foot anxiously tapping on the ground. He’s holding back demons here, and he doesn't know how much longer he can keep himself together. It felt like the room got twenty degrees warmer, electricity brewing like you were sitting in the center of a thunderstorm. You suck in a breath of surprise, the angel and devil on your shoulder going back and forth. He was impossibly annoying, clingy and obsessive. He was like a guard dog, but if it was a guard giraffe instead with his lanky limbs and otherwise goofy nature. On the other hand, he was impossibly sexy, and you would be a dirty liar if you continued to pretend you didn’t want him to rearrange your guts in his t-shirt. 

But what’s the harm in being a tease?

“What if I don’t?” You smirk, to which he mirrors your expression. If you want to play, he can do that too. He’ll make you regret it though. That flash of adoration in your eyes told him everything he needed to know. 

“Give me a chance anyway. You’ll never fuck anyone else after this, I promise.” He says, not waiting for another catty reply from your pouty lips. He’s lunging forward, large hands grabbing your face to keep you from escaping him. Another second passes and his lips smash on yours. He’s needy, messy, and not holding himself back in this clash of teeth and lips and tongue. You were shocked by his passion, not realizing just how serious Satoru was in his pursuit of you. He kisses you like it’s the only thing he’s ever wanted, swallowing up any chance you have at getting oxygen with his saliva coated lips. You fist the cover beneath you, clutching the cotton for dear life. 

He’s consuming your senses and you wouldn’t have it any other way; you feel stupid for denying yourself of this for nearly two years now. His touch is fiery, you can feel his fingerprints burn into your skin and the only cure is more of those large palms gliding over your shoulders and chest. You relax into him, moving your mouth fluidly against his smiling one; his taste is of some sort of candy..starbursts maybe, but just the pink ones. His tongue gives you that flavor as it melds with yours, dominating it easily. He’s breathing heavy and grunting, the sound almost sweeter than the candy on his breath. They’re high pitched and whiny, he’s been picturing this scenario for a while now. You find yourself laying back, tugging him by the shirt to hover over you. The fabric wafted his vanilla sandalwood fragrance, of course he would smell and taste so delicious. It’s so befitting of such a deviantly perfect man. He doesn't hesitate to cover your frame with his, boxing your hips in under his as he straddles them. He breaks the make-out session to sit back on his knees to peel off his shirt–a white one not unlike the black one you stole. He throws it over his shoulder and you both hear it faintly fall in the distance. Then you both sigh, you squirm beneath him, hips shamelessly rolling into his semi. The corners of his lips curled into a smile. 

You looked truly angelic, as always. Your lips were plump and swollen from the way he smothered them, your tits perked up and nipples poking through the fabric of his tee. Your hair was just starting to get messy, and he had half a mind to fuck that bratty mouth of yours, holding out on him this long just to look up at him with those needy doe eyes. Now he’s really smirking, and it goes from an idea, to something he just has to see. He gets off of you, sliding out of his shoes, peeling off those annoying socks and his tight black jeans. He hisses when his throbbing erection isn’t so choked back, palming himself over his underwear. He goes to slide those off too when he catches you sitting up to remove his shirt. 

“No. Leave that on.” He growled, yanking his underwear off and throwing it with the rest of the discarded clothes. You hummed in response, the husk of his voice sending a jolt to your pussy. You knew you were growing damp, and the tiny lace wouldn’t do much to stop that from being painfully obvious. You sigh softly at the sight of him, though it almost pisses you off. Yes, of course, even his cock is utterly perfect. Somewhere in the eight inches ballpark, purple veins along his curved shaft led to a pretty pink tip glossy with his arousal. He thumbs the slit and spreads it further, beautiful blue eyes fluttering shut to enjoy the brief strokes. You whine, not sure what he wants you to do. 

Satoru has planned this day for so long, he’ll make sure you comply with his every request to fulfill this fantasy. He stands at the foot of your bed, huge hands wrapping around your ankles so he can drag you to lay completely flat on the mattress. There’s that devious smirk you know, your eyes widen slightly in wonder. He was planning something. 

“I can use that loud ass mouth, right?” He hums, getting back to his knees on the bed. But this time, instead of straddling your hips, he positions his knees on either side of your shoulders. You gulp, his full length looming large over your face. You look past his dick to his oceanic stare. 

“Yeah, yeah. Do your worst.” You manage to squeak, trying to reserve some of your pride. His eyes burn with amusement. He reaches his hand forward, putting a thumb on your chin to tilt your mouth downwards. He grins, angling your throat. 

“You shouldn’t have said that.” He clicked his tongue, swiping at your bottom lip. “Goddamn, I’m gonna ruin you.” He says, affectionately smoothing down your hair while tapping your mouth with his tip. “Open up.”

You part your lips wider, relaxing your jaw; you even stick your tongue out to provide him the perfect mental image to remember. He slides his cock into your silky throat, hot mouth swallowing him all up so good he’s fighting that ball of tension in his stomach just from the sight. He knows he’ll last, even if cums down your throat he’ll make sure he pumps you full of another round. You clearly needed to know who you belonged to. He leans his weight forward, his tip colliding with your gag reflex. You choke around him, but he doesn’t let up. His hand catches him on the headboard, and now he has the perfect angle to hammer into your wet mouth without mercy. He keeps his icy gaze angled down, he can’t miss a second of your tears pooling and sliding down your reddened cheeks. You’re so beautiful, he can’t believe you made him wait two years to claim you like this. That’s fine, he understands that his powerful presence can be a bit much. He is the Honored One after all. He was content to wait for you until you could honor him. 

He’s huge in your throat. You can feel your walls spasm around his cock, gagging and sputtering on him as he relentlessly slams into you. Your nose collides with his snowy pubes every time, saliva slicking down everything. Your cunt burns for attention, he’s driving you crazy with the way he’s looking at you, long white lashes framing the darkest lust-fueled stare you’ve ever seen. He’s using you so perfectly, you don’t mind being sore and unable to speak if it means you get to drink his load. Your hand sneaks over your thighs, sliding your thong over. You’re so drenched that the cold air makes you whimper around his gag, but you let your longest digit glide to your soaking hole. Gathering some of your slick, you slide back up to your aching bundle of nerves, easing circles over yourself. You sigh with relief, and Satoru turns to see why, grunting with dissatisfaction. His hips still, and he reaches to slap your hand away and give a punishing slap to your cunt. You jerk up in surprise, though the pressure was sickeningly sweet. 

“None of that shit. You oughta wait longer, made me wait two whole years to make you mine.” He growls, bringing his hands back to hold your face. He rocks his hips into your face again, moaning softly at how well you’ve acclimated to his rod. Your gags are so erotic, giving you and him both goosebumps. He chuckles, feeling his stomach and cock twitch. 

“Swallow it all or I’m not touching you.” He warns, spurting his seed down your throat. It’s a heavy load, spilling into your cheeks as he drags his cock out. You cover your mouth to keep any of his cum from leaking out, swallowing the hot liquid instantly. His hold on your cheeks makes it easy for him to push your mouth open, making sure you swallow every bit. He taps his tip against your lips in satisfaction, sliding back down your body to straddle your thighs this time. “That’s a good fuckin’ girl. You want me to eat your pussy?” He asks, sharp white teeth nipping at the delicate skin of your neck. 

You nod, still gasping for breath. Your blood was thumping in your ears as well as your pussy, and all you could think about was his strong tongue against yours earlier. 

“Beg me for it.” He smiles, breaking some skin below your collarbone and lapping his tongue over it. “Kept me waitin’ angelface. I think it’s the least you can do for me.” He coos, pushing his tee up all the way up your perfect thighs and over your tits. He nibbles his lower lip at the sight of your exposed body, not that it was the first time he’s seen you. Fresh out of the shower, scouring for clothes with no idea he’s watching or when your pajamas are so skanky you might as well wear nothing at all. This was special though, this was you wanting him, this was you begging for him to make you cum. 

You whine, squirming under him. He eyes the slutty panties, shaking his head. “And I thought I hid all of these…” He sighs, working the drenched fabric off. He sniffs them and whimpers, they smell just as heavenly as all the others. Your pussy glistens with your floods of slick, he can’t help but lick his lips, palming his semi into a full erection again. You hardly thought he was serious with all of his flirts. He definitely seemed like the type to just enjoy flustering someone. Plus, you didn’t quite understand what he saw in you–surely he could be with super models. But he made you cancel any date you had for the past two years and actively barked at anyone who looked at you twice, and now stealing your panties for his use… surely that was a lot of commitment if he was just teasing you right? Fucking your mouth like it was his god given right, wanting you to beg for him, he really did want you carnally. 

“Satoru,” You sigh out breathlessly, the man just out of arm’s reach. You bat your lashes and stare up at him. “Oh god, I’m sorry! I didn’t know you really wan’ed me! I didn’t mean to make you wait, baby, please–just please make me yours. I can’t take it ‘nymore, Sato..” You pant. He swears he’s vibrating, the pout in your voice just too much to handle. He needs you just as bad, but he has to make you cum for him before he ruins your cunt. He bites your thigh, determined to leave a bruise there, too. He’ll mark you up now that you’re his, no one could ever doubt or deny who you belong to. He only knows passion and all or nothing, his love is smothering and obsessive, and you’ll know everything about that. He groans, smelling your dripping juices was the final straw. His lips latch onto your painful need and you gasp out at the feeling. Your thigh burned where he had indented his teeth into it, but the pain only served to fog your brain up and soak your cunt just that much more

“Shoulda known I was serious.” He complains in between languid laps to your middle, drinking up the nectar. “I forgive you. ‘S gonna be okay now, I got us now.” He sighs dreamily, beginning a feisty assault on your core. He nibbles at your clit, sucking on it harshly and then following it with sweet and soothing licks. He can’t help but dip his svelte fingers in your tight hole, growling as you clamp around him. He knows you’re gonna be so fucking tight, and now he’s rutting his hips into your bed to stave off his desire until he pleases you to his liking. He coos as your arousal coats his plump pink lips, shaking his head as he devours you. His fingers pump and curl in all the right places. You’re sputtering and gasping, eyes clenched shut so hard colored orbs prick at your vision. You’re about to explode, every orgasm you’ve ever brought yourself or experienced before paling in comparison to the one you’re about to succumb to now. 

Your legs shake, clenching around his head. His strong hands force your legs back down, squeezing gently on your thighs. He kneads the flesh, admiring how easily you surrendered to him. “You bout to cum, sweet girl?” He teases, working into your spongy spot with his lengthy fingers. 

You nod, worried that he’d make you beg for that too.You decided to get ahead of the curve, babbling immediately. “Yes, please Satoru! Wan’ cum for you s’bad–please!” 

He chuckles, “Of course darling. Cum for me, Tell me I’m the only one who can make you feel this good.” He demands, watching your nose scrunch up and your body jerk involuntarily. He can feel the flood of your release against his fingers, and he grins. He can’t hold it back anymore, he has to have you right now. He doesn’t let you recover, folding your legs into a mating press to start, sliding his aching length through your slippery hole and into those choking walls. He groans, letting his head fall back. You were just as tight as he imagined–no, tighter! This was all for him, no one but him would ever touch you again. The way you grip him sends chills down his spine, and his obsessive craving for you turns into an insatiable need. You watch his adam's apple bob in his throat, eyeing the rest of his bare chest and abs that had their own abs. He growls, his hold on the underside animalist. “Oh my god, doll..” He groans, breathing through his nose in an effort to calm himself.

 “I’m gonna give it you so fucking good, little one. Gonna claim you in every way, give you my kids, don’t’cha want that?” He coos, hips snapping into your ass rapidly. He’s abusing your spot instantly, and he knows it. It’s partially because he knows he can’t last too long in this glorious cunt when he’s this worked up and partially because he wants to see you come undone before him, begging for him to fill you to the brim. He did say he’d claim you in every way, what could be more of his mark? His teeth prints bruising your sweet skin, or his child growing in your womb? He shivers at the idea. He never thought this way about people before you. Something about your perfect hair and your sweet smile made him horny in ways he never knew. He craves seeing you full of his cum, making you hold it and not letting you get any medicine to keep you from conceiving. If it’s meant to be, it’s meant to be, right? 

His cock fills you so right that you know you’d agree to anything right now. Your feet shake by your ears, you can’t take his repeated and unforgiving slams. You nod dumbly, craving his hot load in your pussy and more of his dirty fantasies. “Mhm, wan’ give you pretty babies, ‘Toru, jus’ give it all to me.” You plead, tits bouncing with his brutal fucks. 

His mouth drops open. “Agh, oh fuck..you really want me to knock you up baby? Lock me in as your baby daddy?” He questions breathily, dick jumping as you clench down. You really did like the idea it seems, as your wanton moans and soaking wave of cum clue him in to some fantasies of your own. 

You nod vigorously again. “Yes! Oh my god, yes, please, Daddy…I’ll make you one I swear!” His whines are so rewarding. The pleasure you send coursing through him causes his brows to furrow.

“You fucking got it angel. Make me a baby.” He nods, determined to follow through on your wish. His cheeks flush, his cum shooting all over your walls. It was hot and gushing, your hole clenches in an effort to hold onto it.  He’s wanted you all this time, there was no way you would escape him now. Now, you were all for him forever, and he hoped his seed took hold and grew within you. Couldn’t be so bratty if you were glowing with a child, his child. He had more than enough money, in his mind it's completely rational. He just wanted you to be reminded who you are now, who you belong to. The world needs to know it too, and he doesn’t mind to keep trying until it works. “Gonna look so pretty when you swell up for me.” He giggles, lazily blinking at you. He pushes your beautiful hair out of your face, gently holding your cheek. 

“I love you. That’s why I act this way. You’re all mine now, for good. I'll always take good care of you, my pretty mama.” He coos, his voice sweet as he leans up to kiss your parted lips, your body still coping with the waves of pleasure. Sure, all the dinners you’ve made for him and all the times you’ve folded his laundry was just you being nice, but you knew why you cared so much for your annoyingly handsome roommate. 

“I love you too. Here I was thinking this was the unluckiest day of my life.” You snort, running your hands through his white locks as he remains content to lay on top of you. He chuckles in return, but his mind is busy. He’s thinking about what theme for the nursery, names for your son or daughter, and how good you’d look needing him for everything for the next nine months. 

[the-soliloquies-of-sadists]

#373

“What the fuck is this I’m hearing about you?  My buddy Deputy Watson asked me why I have a faggot working for me?  He tells me that you have a record for sex in public bathrooms.  Is it true?

“Of course it is!  I can see it on your face.  Have the common decency of at least admitting it….  Jesus fuck!  You know when I hired you, I told you I didn’t want any drama.  And now I have to deal with this.  I can’t be thought of a sperm burper.  With my wife filing for divorce and living across the state at her sisters, people will start to think nasty shit about me once they find out that I have a fag working for me.

“You were recommended to us because you are a hard worker; you keep your head down.  You don’t drink and you don’t cavort around in town.  Now I know why. 

“Watson was telling me that you were caught once before at a rest stop in South Dakota getting cornholed.  He also said that the charges were dropped.  Lucky you.  So you must like sucking on random dick at some nasty assed bathroom.  What the fuck is the draw?

“Nothing to say?...  I want an answer….

“…You like to blow straight men?  Why would a straight man want to get blown by some fag when he can get it at home?... 

“…Watch your mouth!  The last time I got a blowjob has no bearing on this conversation.  You know damned well that Louise and I are going through a divorce.  I haven’t had anything in a long…  Wait a minute, are you looking to give me head?

“…Back to being silent…?

“Uh…

“Uh…

“Awww, fuck it….  I could go for some head.  You want it?...  No one will ever know that this happened, you got that?  Good.  Then get on your fucking knees. 

“I got a lot of skin….  God damn!  You are eager!  My wife makes me get hard first before I…  Oh fuck!  Oh man. 

“Fuck!  Watch your goddamned teeth!...  I will knock them out.  Trust me I will.  My dick may not be long, but it gets really fat.  Those teeth better know their place.

“Damn, not many women could deep throat me.  Fuck I will be using this mouth again.

“Fuck!  What did I tell you about your teeth? 

“Fuck you faggot!  You want me to hit you again, keep up with the teeth.  You hurt me, then I hurt you.  What do you have to say?...  Hunh?...

“Damn right you’re sorry.  Look up at me.  Open your mouth.  Let me feel your teeth….  Holy shit!  That’s some jagged teeth you have there. 

“I want you to make an appointment with your dentist.  I want him to grind them smooth.  You got that?  I pay for your dental, let me benefit from that.  And make that appointment as soon as possible.

“Look at me….  That slap means I’m serious about this.  Now get the fuck up.  You take men up your shitter?  Of course, you do.  Get out of those Levi’s. 

“A fucking jock strap?  You are such a fag.  Leave it on.  I’m not interested in what you have in front.

“It’s been years since I fucked an ass.  Most of the time it was to put a bitch into place.  You’ll be the first faggot, but it will be for the same damned reason. 

“Spread your legs further.  Damn.  That’s a pale ass.  Hold still….  Oooh.  You have been fucked before.  I can’t remember when my head went in so easy.  So I guess I don’t have to wait for you to adjust to me. 

“Right to the root!  Fuck your pussy is treating my cock so well.  Aw, shut up.  I don’t want to hear any goddamned complaints from you.  If you wanted more lube, you should have put more spit on my dick.  Next time think to do that.

“Now shut the fuck up.  I’m in the middle of fucking here….

“Your cunt knows how to take a pounding.  I like that.  I like that a lot….  Do that again.  Fuck, this is one talented cunt.  And it’s right here every day.  Yeah.  This cunt is going to be used going forward. 

“Fuck yeah.  I’m taking ownership of this cunt.  It’s mine.  You got that?...

“Answer me motherfucker.  Who’s cunt is this?

“Damned right.  You will give up other men.  It’s mine.  You understand faggot?

“…You better.

“Oh fuck, I’m gonna cum.  Get ready.  You gonna get flooded with a huge load.  Here it cums.  Here it goddamned cums!  Urg!  Urg!  Fuuuck.  Shit!

“Don’t fucking move.  Stay put.  Clamp down.

“Dammit faggot.  No wonder so many men use you like this.  Not anymore.  I wasn’t kidding when I said you are to give up other men.  That cunt is mine.  I don’t want any other man touching my property.  You got that faggot?...  You say, ‘Yes Sir!’

“That’s better.  You understand that I will be fucking it after we get done work every day?

“I’m one horny son of a bitch, a controlling one at that.  That’s why my wife is filing for a divorce.  You are going to be taking over her duties of taking my nut.  Let’s go up to the house so you can fix me some dinner. 

“No leave those Levi’s there.  You don’t deserve to wear pants.  The jock is all you need.  As I said before, I’m not interested in what you have up front.  In fact, it shouldn’t be any of your concern either. 

“Now get up to the house….  Goddamn, that’s a nice ass.  I don’t know if I will be able to make it through dinner without plowing that cunt and unloading a second time.  My dick can go all night, especially a cunt that treats my dick well.  That cunt will be so full by the end of the night.  Now get moving.”

[weebsinstash]

My Valentino thirst is killing me. I must quench!!!

Combining these two asks so I can babble about both of em at the same time lmao, this is kind of just different ideas all smashed around lol

ALSO CAN I JUST SAY THE ABSOLUTE NERVE OF SHOWING VAL IN THE NEWEST TRAILER BUT NOT HAVING HIM SPEAK 😩 but we can hear Vox so I guess that's something?

- first off, ok, let's just get this out right now: the newest episodes of helluva boss showed that Ozzie can shift his height, THEREFORE THIS MAN IS A SWITCH AND HE'D BE DELIGHTED IF YOU EVER TOPPED HIM SEND POST

Like seriously that's obviously how he can manage to have sex with Fizz despite their extreme height difference, meanwhile, do you guys ever think about the huge height discrepancy between Angel and Valentino in like...., ok. There's literally one specific thing that's been in my head for ages as a "how did that even work or was that just for visual effect". The Addict music video had that shot of Valentino like, you know, behind Angel, but. Like. Angel wouldn't be tall enough to just be bent over even if Val practically bent himself in half, right? Unless I'm remembering Val a lot larger than he actually is, I'm pretty sure angel is over 6ft and Val is like. 10-12 or something?

-Anyways So, saying all that, I think sex with Valentino in general involves him having you set you up onto things like counters or desks or stools or makeup vanities, you get the point. Your standing height is basically like. His waist. And yeah he'd probably be gross about that

-could you EVEN Fucking Imagine I mean it like seriously actually the grossness of it, standing near this nasty motherfucker and you can tell he's bricked up and maybe he's even like deliberately talking to you and shit knowing you're like, you know, in proximity to your boss' absolute rager that you're dying to not look at and he's just, SOAKING in your humiliation and secondhand embarrassment

-I just feel like 99% of interactions with yandere Valentino are him thinking it's cute/funny/sexy/entertaining to fuck with you. Make you embarrassed, make you drunk, make you cry, horny, whatever. He's either fucking with you, wanting TO fuck you, or wanting attention from you. But I've also been thinking about like, what are some more darker things he could do

-partially inspired by myself but do you guys hate people who turn off read receipts and stuff. Imagine the whole "Val gifts you a phone" scenario and then he starts setting the standards of what he actually wants you to do with it, like always having your read receipts on, always answer his texts within a REALLY short amount of time, don't ignore his calls (do you think he'd give you a phone that literally can't ignore his calls like Mammon did to Fizz because like I'm sure that was a throw away gag but, lowkey hot)

Imagine you're just getting to know Val, maybe even a sort of, situationship with him, and he sends you a text, just something super innocuous. I'm talking something like "don't forget you have a shift tonight" or "limos broken down, leaving for the club later than usual", like, something that doesn't outright require some sort of immediate reply, and you hop in the shower and you come back to like a text bomb and 12 missed calls, like obsessive drug addict alcoholic rage escalation from "you there?" "answer bitch" "pick up the goddamn phone" "you better be kidnapped, beaten, or dead right now"

Imagine hopping out of the shower and you had your phone open in the other room and you exit the bathroom in a towel and he's sitting there on your bed and your entire room's been trashed like shits BROKEN and he's, got a cigarette lit and his arms are crossed and he's got your phone in one of his hands , he can clearly see you were in the shower, and instead of apologizing for like going absolutely manic, he just, either, gets gross about how you're wearing a towel and how you got him so worked up and you need to make it up to him, or, he just basically whines that you should've just waited until he was done talking to you to shower

-Val's a yandere who will give you something, break it in a rage to punish you or when he's feeling hurt or betrayed by you, and then replace it with something nicer and more expensive. But then he'll also break things he didn't give you to try and replace everything you own with things he's provided and you'll hate those things, they aren't sentimental to you and maybe not even to your tastes. Oh what's that, you made a new friend? You guys want to Lu Lu Land and he got you a shitty little ring from a carnival game and it's sentimental and important to you? That's cool, don't mind Valentino ruining it or throwing it away the second you take it off and "consoling you" in your grief of "losing it" by getting you a ring from HIM

-genuinely I could see him being one of those guys where if he somehow did manage to pull off enough bullshit to convince you to date him and he's not a total freak, he'd pull some shit like that and then you realize what a huge mistake you've made. he's trying to backpedal and make it up to you but, you've seen his true colors now, and maybe he actually broke something that was really special to you and you really liked him for

-I just don't know how anyone would, realistically, be able to resist Asmodeus in a scenario where he offers you safe harbor from Valentino. A new place to stay rent free? He'd help get you food and clothes and whatever you need? Val would have you so terrorized that, unless you basically had, uh, an unhealthy attachment to him, or insecurity issues, you wouldn't even consider staying with Val over your new "friend". Ozzie is Mr Steal Yo Girl

- i was kinda thinking "how would a yandere Ozzie hypothetically get sex out of you in a scenario where he wants consent" and I feel like he'd just kinda, lovebomb you and maybe manipulate you a little bit and maybe have some blurred ethics on how drunk or high he thinks you're allowed to be while it's still in his definition of consensual. Yeah you said yes to sex with him but you'd taken molly and had some drinks!

Godddd would it be considered gaslighting if, afterwards when you're feeling like embarrassed and regretful, because maybe he's a good friend and you feel it's ruined now, he fakes how remorseful he feels with intentions to, in turn, emotionally manipulate you into thinking he's not as creepy as he actually is. Like, oh gosh, he just seems SO upset over this, can't you let him make it up to you 🥺

- also like. Uh. Having the ol "i liked you as a friend but I was vulnerable and I'm really embarrassed i slept with you even if I liked you so I can't talk to you right now or maybe ever again" reaction with Ozzie would uh. Not work??? It'd be bad??? Like imagine if nothing else you kind of ghost him because you're really embarrassed and insecure and he's like freaking out you were fucking kidnapped or something or WORSE, meanwhile he finds out, like. You're just really embarrassed he saw you naked and couldn't face him and he'd think that's SO CUTE YOU HAVE NO IDEA 🥺❤️

-Ozzie is obviously sex positive and I think you getting flustered and horny and embarrassed would be like his cookies and cream. Even if you have no experience he doesn't mind and he loves to teach you all kinda of things or even just talk about, naughty stuff with you. Imagine he's just like reading a book across the room and suddenly he looks over to you, "hey have you ever had anyone tie you up before? Just curious uwu"

- on the flip side I feel like Valentino needles in at all your insecurities amd with a chubby Readet he'd definitely flip flop between treating you nicely and then mocking you in front of other people. Like, a "good" yandere Val would get incredibly defensive of you as much as he would himself, but one on the meaner end of the spectrum would actively neg you and knock down your self esteem so that it feel really, REALLY good when he finally praises you and flirts with you

-I just picture you offhandedly telling Asmodeus some of the stuff that's happened between you and Val and Ozzies just sitting there, "baby can I be real with you? This guy wants to fuck you so bad he makes himself look stupid" and it's Ozzie's "feedback" that makes you kind of lose your temper with Val one day and, yeah you just deadass repeat some shit like "you wanna fuck me so bad it makes you look stupid" and Val is just AGHAST like where did this ATTITUDE come from. And I picture you kinda get into it, like he kinda sputters a bit but is clearly pissed at you and he gives some like, threat that in full context makes you realize he really DOES have some kind of thing to you. Like it's weird that a THREAT could convey that, he just says some shit like "you better stop running your mouth before I take a paddle to that fat ass of yours" but it's also like, if you're taking potshots at his self esteem and getting personal digs, it's really kind of being let off that he just makes threats and doesn't, like, do something right then and there

You just take a shot of the rest of his drink, "yeah you would like to spank me wouldn't you 😘 you're always commenting on my ass all the time, you don't have to be embarrassed if you like to look" and maybe you like sneak some backhanded compliment in there, before being like, covering your tracks, or sarcastically being like, "ok Daddy love you too 🥰" and giving him a peck on the cheek like really being cheeky with it before you fuck off to another part of the club and then later on when you've sobered up and the Oh Shit What The Fuck Did I Do stage kicks in, you eventually have to give him a refill or something and he's like, oddly silent while you're like a shrinking violet, all bravado just GONE, and at the end of your shift he like, actually beckons you closer and you think you're being punished and he just. Smirks and crosses his legs, "don't get too cocky with me, k sweetie?" and just silently threatening you, but, also, shoving a larger than usual tip directly under the waistband of your pants.

I've also thought about that as well? Like Val shoving tips in your clothes, like in your bra or even in your panties/boxers/whatever as like, a double-sided threat/reward/threatening flirting. You mouth off and tease him about him being thirsty for you and later on he's practically got an entire hand in your bra to leave some 5s there and deliberately grazing your nipples the entire time (swear to God if he pinched I thought I'd go aggressive crazy on his ass)

-but Val saying some shit like you're too gross to be a hooker or a porn star and that's why you just wait tables and later on down the line you've ditched him and you're modeling or shooting like female oriented porn down on the Lust Ring. Lmaoooo Valentino trying to neg you and 6 months later he's being cucked and hating himself as he's cranking it to like softcore porn of a maintenance guy being super nice and respectful to you after making some repairs around your house before eating your pussy and then. Straight up leaving. Vals just over here "why am I even-- this isn't even hot" as he beats his shmeat because he wants to see someone "Break My Choker" you and you just, you didn't even suck the guy off he just rocked up with some tongue action and left like You're Living Your Best Life, Angel Dust is over here like "goddamn I wish I could get paid to just have someone go down on me and leave 😭"

-Ozzie's over here having like safe sex meetings before the porn shoots and making sure everyone is in the right headspace and feeling OK and meanwhile up in Pride you've got shit where like, one of Vals pornstars didn't show and when you briefly enter the set to bring him a lemonade he makes a split second decision to have you restrained and have a train ran on you because he'd rather psychologically scar you then come out of this failed filming session empty handed with wasted money

-I just have this visual of, you're not anything "with" Valentino or Ozzie and, maybe they've encouraged you to be more sexually free, but then you actually start being more adventurous and they're like "oh you know what? Thanks i Extremely Hate this Actually". You're sitting on the couch at the club next to one of them and your phone buzzes and you're answering it, getting kind of flirty sorh whomever is on the other line as your cohort gets more and more jealous, and then you're randomly dropping, "so hey not to be horny but what are you doing tonight? I could use me a deep dick pizza with an extra helping of cuddles afterward" and Val/Ozzie is just, SPITTING HIS DRINK

-like you go from sitting in Vals limo or sitting next to him and he's constantly shamelessly watching like nudes or porn or snaps on his phone right next to you and you're forced to endure that, and one day YOUR earbuds aren't connected properly and Val gets blasted with 5 seconds of something like a male or female or whomever, someone who isnt you, "ugh god I love the taste of you 😩❤️" and he's, the attention is ON, eyes on you IMMEDIATELY, just, "what the fuck was that???"

Imagine you're straight up looking up D/P pics on your phone and suddenly you sense a presence and he's like. You've got Valentino's massive form leaning practically from one end of the couch to the other to look at your phone from over your shoulder/above you. The notoriously narcissistic attention seeking loudmouth drunk just, having been silently whisper quiet watching you for who knows how long, you're not sure if he can even read or see what's going on bit he definitely sees the picture

Goddd can you even think of it, he finds out you're fucking around with someone because he snatches your phone out of your hand as like, a tease, because he saw you looking at dick pics and he's all "oooo, giiiiiirl what have you got HERE", but then he starts going through your entire gallery and all your messages and the smile is wiped off his face. Imagine the like. 30 second pipeline of "teasing you, snatching your phone as a joke, going through your phone, immediately chucking your phone directly at the floor"

Ozzie thinks you're fucking GHOSTING HIM and he's getting PANIC ATTACKS over here because, you know, you make his heart do the flippy thing, meanwhile it's like, nah, Valentino has just shifted into Ultra Possessive "Someone Touched My Shit" Mode and you literally aren't allowed to have a phone or so much as be alone anymore amd the next time Asmodeus is seeing you, it's on Sinstagram, being made to hang off Valentino as he had the picture captioned something about, "some of his bitches he just doesn't like to share"

[family-on-6]

Ok I seriously despise Porter. Especially now after the new episode, his interactions with Gorgug and Fig always felt a little ehhh but now it's just I have a blinding hatred for this motherfucker. How can you be a teacher, not just a fully grown adult but a TEACHER in a position of AUTHORITY AND INFLUENCE, and just straight up bully one of your students for what, not being angry enough? Having a kind and generous heart? Literally Porter has been Gorgug's teacher for two whole years now and we have heard him say maybe one nice thing to Gorgug. Almost every other time we see them interact, Porter is comparing Fig to Gorgug, who isn't even supposed to be taking barbarian classes, mind you, and basically telling Gorgug that his friend is a better barbarian than him to his face. He even encourages Fig to continue attending barbarian classes, when he KNOWS that isn't even her goddamn class! He has the common sense to know that she is suffering academically because she keeps going to barbarian classes but he keeps encouraging her and positively reinforcing that behavior, and Fig almost gets expelled from school because of it! Fucking WHAT IS UP WITH THAT??

And don't even get me STARTED on their conversation about the MCAT. Imagine having a teenager come up to you, a person they look up to and seek guidance from, and they tell you that they found something else that they excel at and are passionate about. What would you do in that scenario? I think most reasonable fucking people on the planet would encourage that young and impressionable TEENAGER to follow their heart, wouldn't you think? But no, Porter decides to refuse to let Gorgug take the MCAT, despite knowing for a fucking fact that he's capable because, I dunno, he's SAVED THE ENTIRE FUCKING WORLD MULTIPLE TIMES WITH HIS FRIENDS, WHO ARE ALSO TEENAGERS. And because of this Gorgug is forced to take on so much more work than he would've needed to if Porter just got his fucking head out of his ass and let Gorgug be an artificer without him needing to find a workaround.

So yeah Emily was right from the beginning and Porter is a total asshole. I hate him so much and every time he comes on screen I desperately want a baby grand piano to come crashing down on his big ass head. Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

[vendetta-if]

Okay... Every. Single. Time. I see the hickey ask on an IF blog I follow, I feel the NEED to post this follow up:

What if very shortly after that, the ROs catch / hear the MC asking someone (or even if the MC asks THEM, depending on the context) if they have something to soothe mild allergic reactions to mosquito bites, because they got one on their neck.

So basically, how would they react when faced to the reveal it wasn't a hickey at all but a dumb mosquito bite!

Here goes out to all of you hickey anons and non-anons 🤭❤️ Also, the link to the infamous hickey ask is here for those who haven’t read it!

Ash

“Wait, wait, Ash!” They hear MC calls out to them and they stop in place. Oh, how they just want to bolt away from this nightmare, but maybe this is also a chance to just face it head-on.

“Ash, what’s wrong?” MC asks as Ash turns around to face them. Ash doesn’t really know what kind of face they’re wearing right now.

“Who was it, MC?” They ask, voice hoarse.

“Who, what?” MC asks in genuine confusion, which just irritates Ash even more.

“The one—The one who gave you… those marks!” They gesture at MC’s neck.

MC’s eyes widen. “What?! No! Nobody gave me these marks. These are goddamn mosquito bites,” MC explains as they scratch their neck. “I swear once I get my hands on those bastards…” They mutter under their breath.

Ash just stands there dumbfounded. “M—Mosquitoes?” Those are not… They glance down and just notice MC is holding a can of bug spray. Oh… Oh no… How could you think the worst of MC, Ash?

“Yeah, pesky bastards. Don’t tell me you didn’t have any in your room last night?” MC says, scanning Ash up and down for a second before concluding, “Oh, you didn’t, don’t you?”

“N—No,” Ash replies truthfully.

“Motherfuckers probably thought your blood is too hot to drink or something,” MC mumbles irritatedly. “Well, I’m gonna spray the whole penthouse now, if you don’t mind.” MC raises the can in their hand like a weapon.

“Uh… Yeah, please do that,” Ash says stupidly. “And, uh… Just forgot what I said earlier…” A surge of relief washes through their whole body, but it soon gets tainted by embarrassment.

“Aww, were you jealous?” MC smirks teasingly.

“Uh—Um…” Ash stammers. “I—I gotta go! See you later, MC!” They splutter in panic before bolting away for real this time.

Oh my God, MC is not gonna let them live this down, won’t they…

Rin

Rin decides not to embarrass themself further and chooses to just ignore MC, pretending not to see or notice them entering the room. They’re not going to lower themself to ask MC about the marks.

Honestly, they’d rather MC leave them alone for now. But of course, the opposite of what they want always happen. They groan inwardly as they see MC walking over to where they’re standing from the corner of their eye.

They steel themself for an unwanted conversation. They’re good at that.

“Hey, Rin,” MC greets them and they just grunt softly in reply. MC doesn’t even notice their curt reply, seemingly distracted by something else.

Oh, I bet their mind is still filled by whatever happened last night…

“Uh, this might be a weird question,” MC begins sheepishly as Rin just keeps staring at them unamusedly. “But, do you know any kind of salve or medicine that can help with these mosquito bites?” They ask, scratching at the marks on their neck.

Rin blinks. There’s no way that excuse would work on them. “Really?” They reply skeptically as they gesture at MC’s neck. “You’re bitten by mosquitoes in your penthouse?”

“I know right? I don’t even know how they managed to get in considering my penthouse is like… at the top floor of a skyscraper,” MC agrees, missing the point Rin is insinuating. “Probably through the elevator or the air vent or something. Anyway, Uncle Luka said he’ll personally get a professional pest extermination service to deal with that.”

Well, Rin did catch their father talking with Luka on the phone about choices of professional pest extermination services available in the city. For some reason, Luka asked their dad as if he knows anything more about it than Luka does. Maybe MC is telling the truth and it’s their paranoia and distrust running rampant once again…

Rin uncrosses their arms—when did they even cross them in the first place? “Uh… Tiger balm works wonder for bug bites,” Rin advises.

“Tiger balm, huh?” MC repeats. “Alright, I’ll just go get it at the nearest drug store. Be right back,” they say before swiftly making their way to the elevator.

Meanwhile Rin is left standing there, still processing what has just happened in the span of a few minutes.

Santana

“Hey, Santana!” MC greets them as they walk over to where Santana is standing.

Santana is already cringing inside at the potential awkwardness of the conversation. They’ll still try their best to try talk normally with MC, but it’s kinda hard with the hickeys still heavy in their mind.

“Um… Hi, MC,” they greet back cordially.

“So, how was your night? Had enough sleep?” MC asks them.

“Well, like usual,” they answer distractedly. “How about you? Seems like you had a wild night…” They gesture at the general direction of MC’s neck.

Oh my God, Santana! What the heck are you doing? Asking about the thing you wanted to avoid talking in the first place?! You idiot!

“Oh, you won’t believe this,” MC begins enthusiastically. “So, I was sleeping pretty soundly for like half the night, before my neck started to feel really itchy. I kept getting dragged out of sleep as I scratched at it. Woke up the next morning, and lo and behold, I just got frickin bitten by the most vicious mosquitoes of Elysium City,” they complain, tilting their head a bit to show them of the “hickeys” which turn out to be mosquito bites.

“Huh?” Santana remarks intelligently as they stare at the marks. Okay, now that they can see them better and closer, they do seem like bug bites instead of hickeys.

“I know right?” MC agrees, with… what? Santana is not sure because their mind is blank right now. “Don’t ask me how the mosquitoes managed to break into my penthouse, which, mind you, is located at the top of a skyscraper.”

“That… That is indeed weird,” Santana replies, chuckling in a mix of amusement and relief. It seems like their fear is unfounded after all.

MC continues their rant about the pesky mosquitoes and their plan on eradicating them from their penthouse. Santana just smiles softly as they listen to every word.

Skylar

Skylar quickly makes their way to MC before anyone else manage to make a conversation with them. MC stops in their track as they notice Skylar approaching.

“Hey, MC!” Skylar greets in faux-cheeriness.

“Oh, hey, Skylar,” MC greets back. “What’s up?”

“Well, I should be the one asking you that,” Skylar says, the grin on their face feels very strained but they hope it won’t show and that it still looks charming on the surface. “Who’s the lucky person?” They ask straight to the point, gesturing at the general area of MC’s neck.

“Certainly not me,” MC groans as they rub at their neck. “Just had one of the worst nights of the month.”

“Oh?” Skylar prompts, hopefulness crammed into that one single sound.

Inside, they’re gleeful though. It seems like whoever MC was sleeping with last night must’ve sucked balls—no possible pun intended. Well, this is their time to shine! Skylar would be more than happy to show MC how it’s really done!

“Yeah! I kept waking up at the middle of the night because these annoying mosquito bites were so damn itchy!” MC complains, scratching at their neck again.

Skylar nods before stopping. Wait, what? Mosquito bites? “What?” They ask, dumbfounded. The marks… they’re not…

MC doesn’t seem to notice Skylar’s confusion as they continue ranting, “I don’t even know how they managed to get in! My penthouse is located at the top of a fricking skyscraper!”

A sense of relief floods through Skylar, and their strained grin has shifted into a mischievous one. “Well, I know of a remedy to help with the bites.”

“Wait, really?” MC looks at them curiously. “What’s that?”

“I heard kisses can work wonder.” Skylar winks before pursing their lips and making kissy noises. “I’m always available to help, you know. Just give me a call whenever you’re ready.”

Skylar can practically see the blood surging up to MC’s cheeks. “Y—You—” they stammer. “You idiot! T—That’s not real! If you’re not going to help, then I’ll go to buy some real medicine for these bites instead!” MC harrumphs adorably, turning away to walk to the elevator.

Aww, MC is soo cute! It makes Skylar feels warm and gooey inside as they chuckle to themself. “Well, my offer will always be open! Whether you have more bug bites in the future or not!” They call out to MC’s receding back.

MC doesn’t even turn and just flips them the middle finger instead before stepping inside the elevator. Oh, they love MC.

[bexleyfix]

Ending Our Friendship

(Stranger Things AU)

Prom photos are posted at the end of the story!

WARNINGS AND TRIGGERS: 18+ ONLY (ABSOLUTELY NO MINORS) NSFW... Mature sexual content, suggestive situations and discussions, smut, pining, angst, fluff, swearing, smoking, drinking, mentions of drug use.

RELATIONSHIPS: Eddie Munson x Y/n ♡ friends to lovers; Gareth, Jeff, Doug, Dustin, Mike, Steve, Robin, Nancy, Jonathan, Max, Lucas, and El are side characters.

Copying, translating, or posting my work as your own is expressly forbidden. I do not give my permission. Reports with credit to me are encouraged.

°°°°°🤘°°°°°

What can I say about Eddie Munson? Well... he's eccentric, erratic, rambunctious, sarcastic, definitely an attention whore... irritable, obnoxious, unruly... long story short, he's kind of a dick. A menace to society whose name, behavior, interests, and all-around heavy metal image have earned him the reputation of 'Town Freak'. But it's an erroneous label born out of prejudice and arrogance, and one he most certainly doesn't deserve.

I'm not exactly a favorite among my peers either. My thrifty style, music taste, and shy demeanor make me an easy target for the ignorant fucks who dominate the high school hierarchy, and so does my association with The Hellfire Club. And since Eddie's a close friend of mine, I'm empathetic. I don't blame him for his behavior, 'cause I know it's a defense mechanism, a way of taking the torment bestowed upon him by the oppressors of Hawkins and turning it into some whimsical public attraction to hide his internal suffering and keep people on edge.

In any case, Munson's a pest. A huge, irritating, aggravating pest... a giant, perverted, flamboyant...... oh... who the fuck am I kidding? Whatever he is... I want him. I want him like a fat kid wants cake. I want him so goddamn bad that every time I lay eyes on him, hear his melodic, raspy voice, or even catch wind of his name, I feel like I wanna hurl. Fuck butterflies, that sexy son of a bitch makes me feel like I have a full-blown professional wrestling match ensuing in my gut. But could I tell him? Of course not. He doesn't see me as relationship material. I'm just 'one of the guys', permanently embedded in the friend zone, and if he ever found out my true feelings it would have grave repercussions on the whole dynamic of our collective friendships. So, I'm forced to put on a face, pretend that I'm immune to his charm, bottle up my feelings, and let them eat away at my insides.

In the four years I've attended Hawkins High not a day has gone by where Eddie Munson hasn't invaded my every thought, innocent or otherwise. Even when our interactions were non-existent, or nothing more than a hello here and there, I haven't been able to escape that scrumptious motherfucker's temptation no matter how hard I try. Ok... so I don't actually try that hard. Fuck it... I don't try at all... but I pretend to.

Eddie makes it a point to bother anyone he damn well pleases, but I seem to be his favorite prey, and I'll be damned if he doesn't get some sick perverse pleasure from incessantly teasing me. It's normal for he and I to playfully flirt and sexually tease each other. He knows he can get a rise out of me without the added contempt he gets from everyone else, but it's a game to him, just a game, one that I secretly love to play, but recently it's gotten a lot worse, and it was becoming unbearable.

Robin Buckley's the only one who knows my true feelings. She's been my best friend since we met in band freshman year. Being a bit of a loner herself, she and I just clicked. She too can't seem to find the courage to approach her respective love interest (our bandmate, Vickie), but Robin's reasons are more justified. Even still, we both live each day in a loop of self-induced torture. Robin at least gets a weekend reprieve, but not me. Sharing the same friends as Eddie, my torture is continuous, resuming every weekday morning in first-period art class, and today was another typical Friday. At least... that's how it started.

~~~~~

"Alright, guys. Today, I'm gonna meet with you all individually to see how you're doing on your projects for the year-end show. And for those of you who've decided to procrastinate... Mr. Munson, I'm looking at you... I need to ok your idea and make sure you have ample time to complete your work, and that your subject matter is appropriate."

"Aww, come on Mrs. S. You know I always finish my work on time." Eddie flashed the teacher a debonair smile.

"You better... if you finally wanna graduate. But your last project wasn't exactly school-friendly." She smiled back in jest.

I remember that project. The perfect example of Eddie's outlandish shenanigans. He'd drawn a Boris-style rendering of himself all but slaughtering his least favorite jock dipshit. But Mrs. Schwagert's one of the coolest teachers in this school, and unlike most, she's not quick to judge her students, including Eddie. She has a way of connecting with all of us.

Eddie scoffed playfully before spouting off an equally playful retort. "That hurts, Mrs. S. I thought you of all people would understand that I took an avant-garde approach, conceptualizing the fight against tyranny in today's society."

"Well, be that as it may, Mr. Munson, your tactless display of violence toward another student won't be tolerated, so I'd like to meet with you first."

I smiled to myself as Eddie exchanged playful banter with our art teacher, gawking at him like I do most of the day until their meeting was concluded, and like clockwork, he resumed his position right up my ass.

"Hi, there!" He proclaimed in his best baritone imitation of Freddy 'Boom Boom' Washington from 'Welcome Back Kotter'.

I closed my sketch pad and looked up. "Now, the Sweathog part I get, but Washington? I don't see it."

"Ok, how 'bout Barbarino?"

He started shimmying back and forth in proper Barbarino fashion and I burst into laughter.

"Um... the hair, maybe, but you're not exactly a chick magnet. You're more of a mashup between Epstein and Horshack. Quick-witted, but super annoying."

"Fair enough." He plopped into the open seat next to me. "So... does that make you Hotsy Totsy, my little... Bunny?"

Oh yeah... every day Eddie makes it a point to devise a new moniker for me that starts with the next sequential letter of the alphabet. Today we were back to B.

"Not quite. I don't have a kid or moonlight as a stripper." I gave him a cheeky smile.

"You sure about that? You look like you belong on a street corner in that outfit."

I scoffed. "It's not that bad."

I looked down at my clothes. Ok, the v-neck crop top and fish nets, sure, but my skirt covered my waist and it wasn't that short. Suddenly feeling self-conscious I wrapped my sweater around myself, crossing my arms over my chest.

"Whatever you say. I'm certainly not complaining."

He looked me up and down with a Cheshire grin, and I rolled my eyes.

"Don't you have someone else you can pester? I'm busy."

"Doing what? More doodles that you refuse to share with me? What do you draw in there anyway? Is it your secret crush? Ooo! Is it me?"

He could not be more spot on. My sketch pad was filled with doodles of his mouthwatering, metalhead physique, as well as some more risqué renderings that I may or may not imagine him doing to me like... all the time. So of course, I lied.

"You wish, Munson."

"Oh, I do, Bunny. But if it's not me, then who is it? That Ian Astbury guy, or uh... what's his face... that wrestler? The one who looks like a roided up Tom Selek, um..." he snapped his fingers in recognition, "oh, Scott Hall? Wait!... It's Harrington isn't it? I know you two are chummy, and I wouldn't blame you. He's a dreamy hunk of hairy beast, but I'd have no problem being your dirty little sidepiece."

Eddie cocked his head to the side, flashed me a suave smile, and wiggled his eyebrows. He was such a dork, but he was right... about the chummy part anyway. Steve Harrington is my friend, which is a fucking miracle in its own right seeing that before he and Robin started working together, I never got a second glance from the 'King' of Hawkins High, but it turns out he's a gentle soul, and not the egotistical, jock douche we thought he was. But Robin puts it best, our friendship with Steve is platonic with a capital P.

"Hmm, as tempting as that sounds... I think I'll pass."

"Ok, suit yourself. Gareth would kill me if I tried to lay a hand on you anyway. Sisters are off limits."

I wasn't actually Gareth's sister, but I've lived next door to him since we were kids, and our families are super close. I do love that dumbass like a brother, but like most brothers, he's an annoying shit with a big mouth, so he has no idea how I feel about Eddie.

"Speaking of your lovable, surrogate little brother, you comin' to watch us practice tonight?"

"I wouldn't exactly call what you guys do, practice. All you do is fuck around and rip on each other the whole time."

"True, but you keep us in check, so you have to come over."

"Oh, I have to, huh? What if I don't feel like it?"

"Well, then I'll be forced to wait 'til Tuesday to waste my sexual prowess on girls who won't give me the time of day, resulting in me crying myself to sleep, again."

He popped out his bottom lip and gave me puppy dog eyes. Goddammit!

"Uh-huh. And... why do you suppose that is?"

"Well, probably because they don't know how to handle my natural charisma and raw animal magnetism. If they knew what they were missing, they'd be all over me."

"Is that right?" I leaned toward him provocatively, making sure to flaunt my cleavage. "And uh, what exactly are they missing?"

He was visibly frazzled, just how I wanted him. He swallowed hard, trying to make eye contact but unable to peel his gaze from my tits.

"Um... let's just say, that when it comes to the utmost in sexual pleasure... I'm your guy."

"Mmm... that good, are ya?"

"Oh, Bunny. I'm first-rate."

"And you think I... would be able to handle you?"

"Maybe..." He swallowed again. "There's only one way to know for sure."

"Is that so?" I looked him over seductively. "Sounds like that'd be one hell of a time."

"You have no idea."

I nodded slowly and smiled, our faces separated by mere inches.

"I suppose I don't." I stared at his lips, watching him squirm uncomfortably in his chair, and I went in for the kill. "Well, Mr. Fantastic, how could I refuse an offer like that?"

I leaned closer as if going in for a kiss and SMACKED him square in the forehead.

"OW, SHIT! SON OF A..."

I sat back in my chair as he pressed the butt of his hand to his forehead.

"I've gotta hand it to ya, Munson, I didn't think your persistence could be any more annoying, but you proved me wrong."

"Ok, I get it. No sexy time from Bunny. Way to crush my ego."

"I thought you'd be used to it by now. You can keep laying it on as thick as you want. I'm not sleeping with you."

"Y/l/n! I'll meet with you now. Get back to work, Mr. Munson."

"Yes, ma'am!" Eddie gave Mrs. S. a salute.

"Saved by scholastic decree. Catch you on the flip side, Fabio."

I smiled slyly, grabbed my sketchbook, and made my way to Mrs. S's desk as Eddie yelled after me.

"Let me know if you change your mind."

"I won't."

Without turning around I gave him the finger. I caught the faint sound of his chuckle and smiled to myself.

~~~~~

With my Walkman blaring, I navigated my way toward the cafeteria through the crowded hallways of Hawkins High, trying not to get knocked around like a pinball when Robin came running up to me in true motormouth fashion.

"Hey-gotta skip lunch to finish my history assignment-try to find a date for prom-meet up with you later-love you-bye!"

And like that, she disappeared into the sea of students before I could get a word in. This meant I'd have to sit with the Hellfire Club today, so I took a detour and headed to their table.

"What's the haps, nerds? Mind if I sit?"

I got lazy waves from the older boys, but Dustin and Mike immediately perked up and flashed me bashful smiles and enthusiastic waves, which I returned in kind.

"I've got a seat for you right here."

Eddie patted his lap. I smiled seductively, walked toward him, and squatted as if about to sit. The look on his face was priceless, but just before my ass made contact with his lap, I straightened up and crushed his dreams.

"Ooo... fat chance, fucker. Scoot over bro."

I nudged Gareth, plopping down in the seat between him and Eddie.

"Well, played, Bunny."

"Bunny? Are you still playing that stupid letter game?" Gareth asked.

"Unfortunately."

"You know you love it."

I flashed Eddie an unamused smile and started digging into my lunch bag.

"No Buckley today?" Gareth asked receiving a shake of my head as confirmation. "Hey, that girl Becky from band asked me to Prom."

I had a mouth full of food. "Mm, I like her. She's super sweet."

"Prom? You're actually gonna attend that monstrosity?"

"Why wouldn't I? Becky's hot. Just 'cause no one will go with you doesn't mean I have to sit at home with my thumb up my ass."

"Oh, sweet burn."

Mike gave Gareth a high five, and I couldn't hold back a laugh at Eddie's expense.

"Wheeler, it's not wise to upset your Dungeon Master."

Eddie flashed Mike an evil grin and Mike's face fell. He quickly turned his attention back to Gareth.

"El and I are going too. Do you guys wanna ride with us? We're getting a limo."

"Thanks, man, but we're hitching a ride with Buckley, Harrington, and Y/n."

"You're going too?"

Eddie looked at me somewhat perplexed.

"Mm-hm." I continued to eat nonchalantly, watching Eddie laugh in disbelief.

"With who?"

I furrowed my brow. Was that a hint of jealousy in his tone? Nah, couldn't be.

"Myself... and..." I waved my finger in a circle around the table to indicate everyone sitting there.

"You're all going?"

"Yes, killjoy. Nothing is stopping you from coming with us. It's a Masquerade theme this year. It'll be fun."

"Fun?! Bunny, I have no desire to attend the masquerade of forced conformity." He smiled smugly.

"Well, we do. So shut your face."

Still sensing the piercing glare of a pair of deep brown eyes, I lifted my head slowly to see Eddie smiling at me, elbow on the table and chin in hand.

"Yes?" I droned.

"Whatcha listenin' to?"

"Music," I retorted, jerking back when Eddie tried to steal my headphones.

"Why so secretive? Isn't she secretive?" Eddie addressed the younger boys of the group.

"Eddie, she probably just wants to eat her lunch in peace," Dustin answered.

"Pshh, then she's at the wrong table," Mike joked.

I shot them a friendly wink.

"Who's side are you guys on? You gotta crush on her or something? Well, you can both stop kissing her ass 'cause she's too old for you."

"I don't. I have the sweetest girlfriend in the world, and she's a genius."

"She's not very smart if she's dating you."

"Shut up, Jeff." Dustin threw a carrot at Jeff and Eddie chucked a pretzel at Dustin and Mike.

"Jesus, you guys are such dicks. Stop tormenting them. Dusty, is Susie coming?"

"I wish. Her dad'll never let that happen. I'm goin' stag... again."

"Don't worry, I'll save you a dance." He smiled bashfully.

"Jesus, this is torment. I'm surprised you're not going with Harrington." Eddie addressed me before turning to Dustin. "You know she draws erotic pictures of him in her sketchbook, right?"

"What?!" The whole table exclaimed.

"I do not." I shoved the side of Eddie's head.

"Do you really?"

"Of course not, Dusty. Eddie just refuses to let go of his nonconformist pride and have a little fun, so he's taking his frustration out on me. You know Steve and I are JUST FRIENDS!" I emphasized, staring daggers at Eddie before turning back to my food.

"Then show me the sketchbook."

"Fuck off, Munson... hey, what the..." Before I could react Eddie swiped my headphones and put them on. "Give 'em back, asshole!"

"Goddamn! This is some heavy shit. What is this?"

"It's your face meeting my fist if you don't give 'em back."

He held me at arm's length as I tried, and failed, to reclaim my headphones, but I soon gave up, crossing my arms over my chest in a huff.

"Ok, fine! It's 'The Raging Wrath of the Easter Bunny'."

"Hahaha! WHAT?"

"It's a demo. The band's called Mr. Bungle. They're from Eureka."

"Well, isn't that fortuitous, 'cause my little Bunny is definitely raging and wrathful today."

He screwed up his face, mocking me. I stuck my tongue out at him.

"Where did you get this?"

"I'm a tape trader, remember?"

"No. I'd definitely remember you telling me something like that."

"Well, maybe if you weren't so busy running your mouth all the time, you'd actually hear what other people have to say."

"This... this is fuckin' brutal. It's like, black metal meets speed."

Eddie was in his own little world. I threw my hands up in disbelief and shook my head.

"See. Didn't hear a damn thing I just said."

"You gotta make me a copy of this."

"You know, you're awfully demanding today."

He shot me a wink and handed over my headphones. I swiped them out of his hand giving him the evil eye.

"I figured you'd be listening to that goth or glam bullshit. What other cool stuff you got?"

"I've got a lotta cool shit. I got this in my most recent haul along with a demo from Guns 'N' Roses, and one from Faster Pussycat. But they're both glam bullshit," I emphasized sarcastically.

"Glam. Gay L.A. music, you mean."

"Oh, whatever, asshole. Axel Rose has some killer pipes. And Kelly Nickels, the bassist from Faster Pussycat... total YUM! He was actually in the running to be the bassist for W.A.S.P. Bet you didn't know that, did ya? UGHH! I swear, what I would give to be the center of a Blackie Lawless and Kelly Nickels sandwich." I scanned the horrified faces at the table and froze. "Um... sorry... I forgot I'm not sitting with Robin." I took a huge chug of my drink and averted my gaze, dying of embarrassment.

"Isn't Kelly Nickels that guy you said looks like Munson?"

I choked on my beverage, hacking, and coughing, leaving no room for subtlety. Stealing a glance at Eddie I saw his smug grin. I had to think fast.

"Uh, I did not say that, Gareth."

"I'm pretty sure you did."

"Well, you're wrong." I smacked his arm, wanting to crawl into a deep dark hole and die.

"Uh-huh... I knew it. You do wanna fuck me."

"Ugg! Munson, get over yourself." I stood up and collected my shit.

"Aw, come on. Where you goin'?"

"I've lost my appetite." I spat at Eddie. "Catch you later, losers." I turned to Dustin and Mike. "Not you two. You guys will always be my little cuties."

I scrunched my nose, kissed Dustin's head, and mussed Mike's hair, smiling at their giddy expressions, then I waved at Jeff and Doug, stuck my tongue out at Gareth, gave Eddie the finger, and left. I could still hear him laughing as I walked away.

Eddie's eyes followed you as you walked away. "Dude, you're gonna bore a hole in her back if you stare at her any harder."

"Hmph, she totally wants me," Eddie said smugly to no one in particular.

"Munson, just ask her out already and put us all out of our misery."

"That would negate the sister rule, Gareth."

"She's not my sister, so if you wanna give it a shot, be my guest. But you gotta stop comin' at her guns blazing, or she's gonna kick your ass."

"Now that I'd love to see."

"Jeff, if I want your opinion, I'll beat it outta you."

"Whatever, Munson, but Gareth's right. If this is your idea of playing it cool, it's not working. You need to stop being so rash... with all of us. She sees right through it, and it looks like it's starting to get to her."

Eddie thought about it for a moment. Maybe they're right. He loved his little sheep, and picking on you was his favorite pastime, but he was being an inconsiderate ass.

You've consumed Eddie's thoughts since the day Corroded Coffin started practicing at Gareth's house. He knew who you were. Being a year older than Gareth you'd already attended Hawkins High for a year, but you never actually spoke to one another until that fateful day in the fall of '83. You heard the commotion in the garage and decided to stroll over. That's when you two were formally introduced, and you permanently imprinted on his mind and his heart. It was the first day of the rest of his life, but you weren't yet 16, and he'd just turned 18 and he was not gonna open that can of worms. It didn't stop him from playfully pestering you every day. And when you turned 18 a few months back he bumped it up a notch, but lately, he's noticed that you've been on edge and not as receptive to his teasing. Was it losing its luster for you? Were you genuinely annoyed? He couldn't let that happen. You were too important to him, but there was only one way to find out, and he knew exactly where you'd be.

~~~~~

I entered the clearing in the woods and hopped onto the picnic table, hoping to spare myself any more embarrassment or harassment by finishing a cigarette before Eddie showed up.

I wasn't pissed at him, just pissy in general. He's been making it so much harder to mask my feelings and my sexual frustration with blatant denial, and I was starting to lash out, which made me feel incredibly guilty. I could try asking him to stop, but then he'd know something was up, so suffer I will. But it was evident as Eddie came strolling into the clearing that luck was not on my side today.

"Ah, shit... can't I have a moment's peace?"

"You're not escaping my sexy mug that easily, Bunny."

I smiled sarcastically, arms draped lazily over my knees. I watched Eddie park his ass next to me, pull a soft pack of Camels from his vest pocket, shake one out, and trap it between his lips. (Jesus, why when it comes to this man does my mind turn something so innocent into filth?) He flicked his Zippo shut and took a drag. Resting his forearms on his knees and clasping his hands together, he studied my face.

"What, do I have something in my teeth?" I started rubbing them with my finger.

"No."

"Then why are you staring at me?"

"'Cause you're sexy." He smiled slyly, taking another drag.

I exhaled heavily, leaning my forehead on my palms, visibly irritated.

"Ok, ok. I'll stop. I was actually wondering what you're doing for Schwag's class."

I whipped my head around, confusion written all over my face. Was I just transported into a parallel universe? Not only did Eddie stop teasing me on his own accord, but he's making small talk.

"What?"

"What are you doing for Schwagert's class?"

He flashed me a sweet smile, which is so unlike him. It was strange but refreshing, and it was stirring something inside me. I suddenly felt nervous, and uneasy... and kinda horny.

"Hey, you ok? You look like you're having some kinda... internal struggle. I promise I won't laugh if that's what you're worried about. I'm genuinely curious."

I was staring at him like he had three heads.

"Um, no... I um... I'm gonna do a portrait series."

"Self-portraits?"

"No, I hate self-portraits. I was actually considering drawing you if you wanna sit for me... and if you can keep your trap shut for a few hours."

His face fell. "You... you wanna draw me?"

"Yeah. Emphasis on the 'shut trap'." I took a drag from my cigarette as an embarrassing thought occurred to me, followed by more word vomit. "I mean, n-not like nude or anything." His smug ass perked right back up.

"Well, I'm not opposed," he said looking rather assuming.

"Dude, seriously."

He just kept laughing. "Ok, ok... but why me?"

"I don't know. You just have this... look." My eyes finally met his.

"I have a look?"

"Mm-hm."

I looked away sucking on my cigarette. Eddie was seemingly deep in thought and started playing with his rings.

"Um... what kinda look?"

"Not a bad look."

His head snapped up and he smiled mischievously.

"Really?"

I rolled my eyes. "Slow your roll, Munson... but yes. Your look, it's... well, it's distinctive and commanding. Good or bad, you can't deny that you have this... charisma... that makes you impossible to ignore. I wanna capture that." I was expecting some perverted retort, but it never came.

"Well, uh... that's... extremely flattering. I um... I didn't realize you saw me that way."

I couldn't read his expression, but the wrestlers in my stomach were at it again, powerbomb after powerbomb, and I felt the need to cover my tracks.

"I do. I mean, n-not like in that way. I can ignore you if I want to. You don't make it easy... b-but I can..." I rested my elbows on my knees, held my fingertips to my forehead, and sighed. "You just... your look is particular, that's all I'm saying." Shit, this was so embarrassing.

"Uh... o-kay?"

"So... will you do it?" I still couldn't look up.

"Absolutely! Just tell me when and where."

My head shot up. "Wow, um... ok, great... w-we could do it tonight if you want?"

I screwed up my face, immediately wanting to shove my foot in my mouth.

"Bunny, we can do it on this goddamn table, right here right now." He wiggled his eyebrows.

"Jesus, I set myself up for that one. You know I didn't mean it like that."

He was giggling like an idiot. "Sorry, I couldn't pass up that opportunity."

Sorry? He never apologizes for his behavior.

"Ok, what the hell is up with you?"

"Whatta you mean?"

"I mean, you're being relatively polite, and making small talk. It's not like you. Did we transport to Bizarro World or something?"

He chuckled. "Just call me Eidde." He smiled bashfully. "I don't know. Maybe I'm trying to turn over a new leaf."

"Ok?" I shot him a sideways glance, but he just sat there, smoking his cigarette, smiling. "Well, we can start tonight at Gareth's." He nodded in agreement. "So what're you gonna do? Did you think of more ingenious ways to flaunt your hatred for Carver?"

He let out a huge belly laugh. "Um, no... Mrs. S. shot down my idea for a sequel. I'm probably gonna do an installation so I can incorporate my music."

"Oh! I like that idea. It's a shame about the sequel though. I was impressed with the original, but I'm biased. Carver's a douche with a capital bag."

We chuckled staring at each other for a moment.

"Yeah, well, it's nice to know someone appreciates my artistic talent."

Eddie placed his hand on my knee and gave it a little squeeze, but instead of shirking it off, I patted it, but he pulled away rather quickly, looking like he didn't know what he should do with his hand.

"So, you're really agreeing to help me?"

"Yep."

"Just like that? No... proposition or outrageous demands in return?"

"Well, since you suggested it..." His smile was wicked.

"Jesus, why the hell do I keep opening my big mouth?"

His grin widened. "Since your big mouth is already open, how 'bout a big sloppy blowjob... or I'll settle for a big wet kiss... or... we can cut right to the chase and finally fuck." He nudged my shoulder.

"Jesus, you're hopeless. Is that all? Do you want my first born too?" (Fuck! I did it again!)

"Well, I can cum inside you when we're fuckin'."

I shoved him so hard, I knocked his giggling ass off the table, but I welcomed the distraction of his laughing fit because the thought of him cumming inside me made my cheeks flush and my thighs clench involuntarily. If spontaneous combustion is truly a thing, consider me Spinal Tap drummer number seven. Luckily the position in which he fell and the time it took him to climb back onto the table was enough for me to collect myself.

"You're a fucking pervert."

"I know, I can't help it."

"Well, try." He nodded. "Why don't you agree to come to prom with all of us instead?"

"Um... that doesn't exactly benefit me. So, no... it has to be option 1, 2, or 3."

"Ok, then I guess I'll pick option 4, none of the above."

"Then you can't draw me."

His expression was serious. I didn't know how to react until he snickered and cracked a smile before erupting into full-on laughter. I smacked him upside the head and he yelped.

"You're such a dick, Munson."

He was still rolling, trying to catch his breath. "Ha! Uh ha, hmm... ok, fine, you can still draw me, but prom? That's really not my thing."

"You're missin' out."

"On what? Shitty music and jock scrutiny? No thanks. But I do wanna ask you something."

We locked eyes. His expression was foreign. He's never looked at me like this before. It was like... adoration mixed with worry. Was he nervous? He looked nervous. Or was I nervous?

"Does um... does my behavior bother you?"

I looked at him quizzically. Why would he care what I thought?

"Um... no. I mean, you definitely know how to push my buttons... and sometimes I just wanna strangle you... but you're one of my best friends. I understand your humor. But you do need to lay off the boys."

He looked only partially relieved. "Fair enough. I just... well, you're a cool girl... and I really enjoy our banter, but you seem a little on edge lately, so I just wanted to make sure. I've never had a female friend as accepting as you, so I don't wanna push you away."

I stared at him in shock, like maybe his three heads would sprout horns. He seemed genuinely worried about upsetting me.

"Ok, is this like, a reverse invasion of the body snatchers or something? Who are you?"

We both laughed. His smile was huge, and so fucking gorgeous. Then I saw it. The subtle movement of his eyes falling to my lips. Did I just see that, or did I imagine it? I felt lightheaded and my heart was pounding as he slid closer, smiling as he scanned my face. (Headlock, shoot off, drop down, leapfrog, hip toss, cover, and 1... 2... 3... wrestler pinned... insert pyro explosion here)

I think I stopped breathing, and then... (Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrringggggggg) Our heads swiveled toward the school. Ugg! That fucking bell. We turned our attention back to each other. Eddie let out a heavy breath, suddenly bashful, and awkwardly backed away, and I finally took a breath.

"Um... we... we should probably..."

"Yeah, um... I'll... I'll walk you back."

~~~~~

We walked through the hall in silence, still smiling, occasionally stealing glances at each other. I had no idea how to process what just happened. What did just happen? Was it even anything? I looked at Eddie. His smile was so bashful, almost innocent. It was so fucking CUTE I wanted to hug him, squeeze him, and call him George.

That's it... we were definitely in Bizarro World.

~~~~~

Sitting on the couch in Gareth's garage, my pencil flowed over the pages of my sketchbook with ease. Eddie was my fucking muse. It's amazing what I can accomplish when I'm drawing a willing participant. But when 'practice' was over, I had the misfortune of being a part of the most fucked up conversation in the history of conversations.

"Is that the latest Hustler? Ooo, toss that over here." Eddie wasted no time flipping through the pages.

"Jesus, you guys have a one-track mind."

"That's the pot calling the kettle black. I know for a fact you like to read those cheesy smut books."

I threw an empty beer can at Gareth. "Way to sell me out, asshole."

"Smut books, huh? A bit of a dirty bird aren't ya, Bunny?"

"This coming from the man who has a pile of nudie mags under his bed. And don't give me that 'I read the articles' excuse."

"I do read the articles."

"I'm not talking about letters to Penthouse." I smiled cheekily.

"She's got you there, Munson," Gareth said.

"Ok, my deviance is a surprise to no one, but this little dirty bird seems to be hiding more than just doodles. So, Bunny... what're your other guilty pleasures?" He asked, wiggling his eyebrows.

I flashed him an irritated look. "Eddie, if you think I'm gonna tell you that you're outta your goddamn mind."

"Awww... come on. Don't be a prude."

Gareth, Jeff, and Doug turned their attention to Eddie, probably expecting me to kick his ass. I turned to look at him and sighed. He wasn't gonna let this go, so I figured I'd have a little fun with him.

"Alright... you really wanna know?"

Sitting on the edge of the couch, nodding like an idiot, a stupid grin spread across his face, Eddie anxiously awaited my reply.

"I wanna know."

"Me too."

Jeff and Doug, my peanut gallery.

"I'm not sure I do."

"SHHH! Shut up, Gareth. No one cares what you think."

Eddie was too preoccupied to notice Gareth giving him the finger.

"Ok... fine. If you really wanna know, I'll tell you."

Eddie took a sip of his beer. I could see the excitement in his eyes, so I exhaled heavily.

"Yes, I like smut novels. I draw a lot of erotic pictures, and I too read Letters to Penthouse. I also enjoy watching porn."

All four of them were frozen in place, Eddie in mid-swig and the other three with their jaws on the floor. Eddie swallowed hard before speaking.

"Like, what kinda porn?" He asked sheepishly.

All four boys were waiting impatiently with bated breath.

"Ok, um... well, the softcore, romantic stuff is my favorite, but I do enjoy a bit of hardcore." I gauged Eddie's reaction. He was mesmerized, eyes glued to my face as he took another sip of his beer. "I occasionally enjoy some girl-on-girl. Threesomes are so hot. Two girls and one guy, one girl and two guys, it doesn't matter. Like I said, I'm down for a Blackie/Kelly sandwich. Oh, and voyeurism. I love the thought of watching people fuck while I touch myself... really gets me goin'."

Eddie spit out a mouthful of beer and the others were all in a daze, mouths agape, processing everything I just said, but it was Eddie who broke the silence.

"And... how exactly did you pick up these little... hobbies?"

"Dude, I'm a shy, introvert, outcast... we're as freaky as they come."

"It's always the quiet ones," Doug said in disbelief.

"Mm-hm. Well... now that the cat's outta the bag, I have a date with my VCR and a naughty VHS. Later, losers."

(Suck it, Munson!) I gave a triumphant smile, winked at Eddie, turned on my heels, and headed to my garage making sure to shake my hips as I left.

Eddie sat staring at the ground. "I don't know about you guys, but I need a cold shower after that one."

"Me, too."

"Me three."

Eddie looked at his friends, who were all still in shock. "Do... do you think she's serious?"

He jumped off the couch and bolted after you.

"Hey, Munson, wait... MUNSON!" Gareth sprinted after Eddie and grabbed his arm before he could make it to your house. "Dude! Seriously? She was just fucking with you."

Eddie bowed his head in defeat and followed Gareth back to his garage. He sat down and resumed staring at the ground adjusting his crotch uncomfortably as Jeff and Doug grabbed their gear.

"You guys outta here?" Gareth asked.

"Yep. We'll see you tomorrow."

They waved goodbye and made their way to Jeff's car. Gareth turned his attention to Eddie, noticing his frustration.

"Munson, just fuckin' tell her."

Eddie threw his head back against the couch and rubbed his hands over his face, groaning.

"Come on, Gareth. You know I can't."

"Why?"

"'Cause we've got a good thing going. If I confess my love and she doesn't feel the same I'll lose her forever, or at the very least things'll just be incredibly awkward. But I can't stop fucking thinking about her." Eddie looked toward your house. "You know her better than I do. What should I do?"

"Ok, here's what I do know. If she's willing to take your shit... there's gotta be somethin' else there. No one's crazy enough to tolerate your dumb ass unless they want to, but if she does have feelings for you, she'll never make the first move, so I think you should approach her. I also know that she was lying at lunch. She can deny it all she wants but she really does think you look like that Kelly Nickels guy. That's gotta count for something."

Eddie smiled to himself. "Maybe."

"Well, either you tell her, or I will, 'cause all this pining shit... it's really fucking irritating. And swallow your pride, man. Ask her to prom. You know you'll have fun with her. Go ask her now. She's probably sitting in her garage."

Eddie let out a huge sigh. "Alright, man, but the whole feelings thing... let me test the water... if she seems receptive then I'll spill my guts."

"Good luck, dude."

Eddie gave Gareth a bro handshake, grabbed a couple of beers, and shuffled toward your garage. When he got close enough he heard you talking, probably on the phone. He knew he shouldn't listen but the devil on his shoulder convinced him otherwise, so he leaned against the corner of your garage just out of sight.

~~~~~

"Oh, come on, Robin. He was asking for it."

"Yes but when you do that it only riles him up more."

"Him? What about me? The flirting and teasing have only gotten worse. I can't fucking take it anymore."

"Exactly. You know how he is. If you keep egging him on you're only making things worse for you. Just tell him how you feel."

"Robin... you know I can't do that."

"Why not?"

"Because... he's my friend."

"And?"

"And... if he rejects me... things'll be super awkward. And if he still wants to be my friend I'll be forced to suppress my feelings just to maintain some sort of normalcy around him, and I'll be no better off."

"Did you at least ask him to the dance?"

"Not exactly. I suggested he come with all of us, but you know how he is. He's too proud to 'give in to the masquerade of forced conformity'." I said in my best Eddie voice.

"Well, I don't know what to tell you. Just keep dropping hints. Maybe he'll get the message."

"I hope so. I don't know how much longer I can keep this up. I want to be with him so fucking bad, but I don't wanna lose him."

"I understand, trust me I do."

"I know. Well, I'm gonna go watch my movie, take my mind off shit. Tell Steve I said hi."

"Hey, Dingus! Y/n says hi! He's waving at you."

"Nice."

"Well, we love you girly."

"Love you guys too."

I hung up the phone and stared at my open sketch pad, utterly lost in Eddie's image.

Eddie's eyes were wide with shock. He could only hear your side of the conversation, but he had no doubt who you were talking about. Jesus H. Christ! You have feelings... for him. You pretend you don't but you do! This... this changes everything! So why was this dread still lingering in his chest? Nerves maybe? He had to say something, but he didn't want to come on too strong. Act casual... yeah. That's what he'll do... just... act casual. After silently syking himself up he took a few deep breaths and decided to make his move.

"BOO!"

"JESUS CHRIST!" I jumped out of my skin, nearly falling off of my stool. "You think you're funny, asshole?"

Eddie was doubled over with laughter as I sat there clutching my chest.

"Hahahahaha! Ohhhh, no... I think I'm adorable."

"Ugg! I hate you so much, Munson."

"Awww, come on now. You know that's not true. May I come in?"

I released a heavy sigh. "Sure... whatever."

"Here, a peace offering."

He handed me a beer.

"Thanks."

We sat in silence for a moment as he checked out all the drawings hanging above my desk.

"Jesus, you're amazing. I love your style. The way you see the world, it's just... incredible."

"Thanks." I smiled bashfully.

He motioned to my open sketch pad.

"May I?"

"Sure." Ahhhhhhh! His smile makes my fucking insides liquefy.

"Oh, Bunny... these are fantastic! I've never looked so good." He flashed a cheeky smile and flipped to the front of the book.

"Nice try. You won't find anything. This sketchbook is strictly for school projects."

He let out a breathy laugh. "You caught me. I wish you'd show me your personal drawings. You're so passionate about your work. Like I am with my music."

"Maybe someday, Munson." I flashed him a sweet smile.

"Um, you mind if I turn on some tunes?"

"No, go ahead."

He started fiddling with the record player.

"Looks like your old man was listening to Clapton. I'll just leave that on."

"Works for me."

He positioned the record player needle and shuffled back to his chair.

"So... what's on your agenda for this evening... besides hardcore porn... and me?"

He smiled wickedly, pulled his smokes from his vest pocket, and went through his routine.

"Not fucking you, Munson."

I loved hearing him laugh, or talk... or move... or fucking breathe. Whatever the hell he was doing... I loved it.

"So, do you actually watch all that stuff, or were you just fuckin' with me?"

"Uh..." I eyeballed him hesitantly, but his expression was calm, and not flirtatious, so I gave him this one. "Yeah... I do."

He raised his brow and exhaled a cloud of smoke. "Well... that's um... that's hot. I was just gonna head home, get high, and play guitar, but now... I think I'm gonna have to rub one out. Care to turn it into phone sex? Preferably while you're still watching porn?"

(JESUS CHRIST! I know what I'm drawing tonight) I rolled my eyes. "Dude! What is with you? You've been so lewd lately. Like, more than usual." He smiled cheekily and stared at me. "No! No phone sex, no fucking, just... no!"

His whole body shook with laughter. "Ok, then I guess I'm goin' solo. So, if you're not gonna watch porn, what are you gonna do?"

I shook my head. "I'm gonna watch 'Help'."

"Can't say I've seen it."

"Really? It's a super corny Beatles movie."

"Oh, I know what it is, I just haven't seen it. Is it good?"

"I love it. It's one of my favorites. I watch it with my mom all the time."

"Speaking of the lovely Mrs. Y/l/n, where are your folks?"

"They're visiting my grandma this weekend."

"Well, that's a shame. I'll just have to schmooze your mom next time. So... was tonight's session enough to do your project, or do you need me to sit for you again?"

(Ok, what the fuck?) "Alright dude, what's going on? You're doing it again."

"What?"

"Oh, come on. For the past few months, you've been... I don't know... a lot more perverted, but today you're trying to incorporate small talk and some semblance of courtesy. So what's going on?"

"I don't know. Maybe I want you to see a different side of me, so I'm talking about things that aren't strictly sex oriented."

"Yeah, but why?"

"Well... maybe I like you."

"HA! Hyeah, right. If you don't wanna tell me the real reason, just say so. You don't need to make shit up."

"Who says I'm making shit up?"

I tried to play it cool, not letting on that the instant those words left his lips Hulk Hogan leg dropped King Kong Bundy.

"Uh... I am."

"Why? Is it so hard to believe that I could see you as more than just a friend?"

I scoffed. "Yeah, a fuck buddy, maybe."

Jesus, it felt like an Alien was about to punch through my chest. I reached for my smokes and lit up trying to thwart my anxiety.

Eddie nodded solemnly, but when 'Wonderful Tonight' started to play, he set down his beer and held out his hand.

"Wanna dance?"

I must've looked like a deer in headlights.

"What?"

"Come on... dance with me."

I snuffed out my cigarette looking at him hesitantly. He grabbed my hands and pulled me up, threw my arms around his neck, wrapped his around my waist, and pulled me close. He started swaying us back and forth, his head nestled next to mine, but when the chorus hit I got ballsy. Knowing this wasn't bound to last, I decided to live in the moment. I leaned my head on his shoulder, squeezed my arms tighter, closed my eyes, and started playing with his hair, but to my shock and delight, he tightened his grip around my waist and leaned his head against mine, grazing my back with his fingertips. We embraced silently for several minutes, and all I could think was that I could die happy at this very moment... and then he had to go and fucking ruin it.

"Go to prom with me?"

His voice was so faint I wasn't sure I heard him correctly. I lifted my head, our eyes lingering on each other's faces, and I scowled, about to lose my shit.

"What? Ok, now I know you're joking."

"I'm not joking."

"Eddie, stop it. This isn't funny."

I broke away and went to shut off the record player, ready to scream. We just held each other so fucking tight, and there was something about the way he touched me. Probably just wishful thinking, but it seemed like we had a moment.

"Al-alright fine. Don't believe me."

"Why should I when you've been shitting on the idea all day?"

He was silent. I slumped my shoulders, released a sigh, and faced him. "Ok, fine, don't answer me. I'm gonna go watch my movie."

Eddie was chewing on his thumbnail, his other hand in his pocket, and he was staring at the ground nodding. He actually looked disappointed, and I had to admit, I felt kinda guilty. I didn't want him to leave, but this charade had to stop.

"Hey, um... I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap. You don't have to go. I just... I want the nonsense to stop, ok? If you want you can watch 'Help' with me."

His head shot up so fast I thought he'd have whiplash.

"Um, yeah, ok. Your parents won't mind?"

"No, they know you. It's not like we're fuckin' or anything."

"Well..."

"DON'T... say it."

Signature Munson, never missing a beat. Jesus, my emotions were bouncing back and forth like a game of Pong.

~~~~~

We were on the couch in my basement, which also doubled as my bedroom. It was a pretty sweet setup if I say so myself.

"You're right. This is a really weird movie. Not as trippy as 'Tommy', but still pretty bad."

He pulled his arms up to shield himself from my slap but was unsuccessful.

"Oh, shut up. It's awesome and you know it. And so is 'Tommy'."

"No, you're right. I do like 'Tommy'. Ann Margaret's hot." His smile was so goofy.

"So is Roger Daltrey," I smirked. "Ooo, I love this part. Paul using the girl as a guitar."

"Ooo, that looks like fun. Come 'ere."

"What?" He reached for my arm and pulled me across the couch. "What... what're you...? Hey! Hahaha!"

"Come on, sit on my lap. Put your hand on your hip, hold the other arm out... there we go. Now... I play."

I was dying of laughter as Eddie played my arms like a guitar and started singing along to 'Another Girl'.

🎶For I have got, another girl

Another girl who will love me till the end

Through thick and thin, she will always be my friend

I don't wanna say that I've been unhappy with you

But as from today, well, I've seen somebody that's new

I ain't no fool and I don't take what I don't want

For I have got, another girl🎶

Eddie stopped playing, wrapped his arms around me, and pulled my giggling ass against his chest, continuing to rock me in time with the music, only this time, when the song ended, I stayed put.

"I thought you didn't like The Beatles."

"I never said that. I just said I never saw this movie, but my mom used to listen to them too."

I smiled, taking the opportunity to rest my head back against his shoulder and wrap my arms around his. I felt his hair tickle my neck, so I looked up and found him smiling at me. Our faces were so fucking close. I smiled back and he leaned down and kissed my cheek.

"W-what was that for?"

"Just felt like it. I'm having a good time."

"M-me too."

There was that look again. The same one from this afternoon at the picnic table. That look of adoration, but this time with a little something extra. And there was no bell. Nothing to break the trance. I couldn't look away as he scanned my face and brushed some stray hair behind my ear, his hand now resting on my cheek. A flash of eyes to lips, and then...

NOTHING!

He returned his arm to my waist and turned back to the TV.

(Mother... Shhhh... Jesu... what the... oh... SON OF A BITCH!!!) I couldn't even think a coherent sentence, so I turned my attention back to the movie. I must've been squirming too much because Eddie pulled my legs across his lap, which was a way more comfortable position, and I allowed myself to cuddle into his chest. I was so tired I should've passed out, but I couldn't shut off my brain.

"I love this song so much."

I started singing along with John Lennon to 'You've Got to Hide Your Love Away'. Eddie joined in, and we smiled at each other as we sang, and again he rocked me to the music.

🎶How can I even try?

I can never win

Hearing them, seeing them

In the state I'm in

How could she say to me

"Love will find a way"?

Gather 'round, all you clowns

Let me hear you say

Hey, you've got to hide your love away

Hey, you've got to hide your love away🎶

We couldn't peel our eyes off each other.

"You're voice is beautiful."

"Thanks," I whispered.

We stared a few moments longer before my nerves got the better of me, and I returned my head to his chest.

"You know, this whole album is like... a metaphor for our entire relationship."

What? Did he really mean that? Most of the songs were about want, need, and... love. I didn't know how to respond, so I didn't. I just buried myself deeper into his chest in reply, and again his arms tightened around me.

By the time the movie was over I could no longer keep my eyes open. The warmth of his body and his musky scent were so comforting.

"Hey, Bunny... you sleepy? You want me to leave?"

Without opening my eyes I shook my head, clutched onto his shirt, and whispered, "No... please don't go."

I have no idea where my newfound boldness was coming from, but Eddie didn't protest. Instead, he enveloped me in his arms and rested his cheek on my head.

"I won't, Bunny."

I smiled to myself as Eddie shifted us so we were lying down facing each other, my head still buried in his chest and his arms still wrapped tightly around me. I managed to open my eyes and look up. He was smiling, watching me, and like a moth to a flame, my hand found his face, my fingertips lightly grazing his features as my eyes followed their trek... his pale cheek, covered by little grains of stubble... his plush, pink lips, which parted slightly at my touch. He closed his eyes and leaned into it until my fingertips trailed to his cute, button nose, his forehead, and back through his hair, where I buried them behind his neck giving him a little scratch.

"Mmm, that's... that's nice."

He released a faint moan and slowly opened his eyes. They were glossy, wanton, and... unsure. His lips formed a sincere smile, and he started repeating my previous motions. His fingers explored my face, eyes following suit.

"Go to prom with me, Bunny."

His voice was so low, commanding even.

"Eddie, why?"

"Because I wanna spend time with you."

"You already spend time with me."

"I know, but... I just wanna go with you. Please say yes."

I sensed nothing but sincerity in his gorgeous eyes, and his voice, so I willed myself to whisper, "Ok... I'll go with you."

"Yeah?" His smile was enormous.

"Yeah."

He cuddled closer and kissed my head. (Flying elbow drop, off the top rope, straight to the gut) When I looked at him we were nose to nose. He nuzzled mine, lips parted. It was almost like a silent plea, begging me to close the gap, to finally let him taste my lips for the very first time, but I was frozen. His lips ghosted mine. I was practically cross-eyed staring at them, but he wouldn't take the plunge. I felt like I was trying to will him with a Jedi mind trick to just do it already, but the force is not strong with me, and he just lingered... the fucking tease.

"Have sex with me," he whispered, smiling playfully.

"What? No." I poked him in the gut, and he giggled.

"Come on. I know you want it as much as I do... and I think it's time we do something about it."

My brow furrowed, eyes darting back and forth in disbelief across Eddie's face. Who does this mother fucker think he is? I mean, I do in fact wanna fuck him, but that's not the point. It's the principle of the thing. I pushed his chest hard and got off the couch ready to lay into him.

"Hey, what---?"

"That's all I am to you, huh? Some... perverted game or prized sexual conquest? Do you have any respect?"

"What? N-no, that's..." he stood up and gripped my arms, "it's not like that at all."

"Then why do you keep pushing this?! I can't..."

I started to cry, unable to finish my sentence. I wanted to smack him, kick him outta my house, just... anything to make the pain stop, but I was so exhausted from this charade and all the mind games that I didn't have the strength to fight him anymore, so when he pulled me into a tight hug and kissed the top of my head I didn't fight him. I just let him hold me as I balled into his shirt.

"Hey, I'm sorry. I'm just... not very good at this, so I'm going about it the only way I know how, and... well, I'm failing miserably, and um... Jesus, I don't know how the hell to do this."

"Do what?" I mumbled.

He pulled me back so he could look at my face, and caress my cheek. His expression immediately softened, but he looked uncertain and extremely nervous.

"Um, hhhhh... something I should've done a long time ago. I wasn't lying earlier. I like you... a lot... but it's more than that... I'm uh..."

"Eddie... what're you doing?"

There was a brief silence. And then... it happened...

"I'm ending our friendship."

And just like that, he closed the gap and encased my lips with his. The sweet pressure of it, the subtle transition of tongue against tongue, the soft, gentle strokes of his thumbs against my face. It was perfect. I couldn't speak, but I needed reassurance. I slowly broke the kiss.

"Hyou... you're serious... aren't you? You're not just saying all this so I'll sleep with you?"

Now he looked like he wanted to cry.

"Y/n, no... you know me better than that. I'm just... a big oaf, but I would never take advantage of you. I just... I wanna be with you. And yes, I... I really wanna fuck you... but not as a buddy. I want you to be my girl. We don't have to do a damn thing. I'd be elated to just hold you for five minutes, but I need you to know this. I--I'm in love with you."

(DDT into a flying body press, followed by a sit-down drop to the gut) I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to stop the onset of tears. Oh my God... oh my God, oh my God, oh my God... oh my FUCKING God! I opened my eyes slowly. We were nose to nose. He flicked his tongue lightly against my lips, and the bastard fucking smiled.

"Munson... hyou-- you're fucking evil." The words came out with my breath.

"I know..."

He cupped his hand under my knee, wrapping my thigh around his hip, and with an arm around my back, he pulled me flush against him. HOOOLY FUCKING SHIT! I could feel how hard he was as he ground his bulge against my aching cunt. My fucking eyes rolled into the back of my head and my breathing hitched. Jesus, Fuck! He was playing so dirty. I wanted to curse him out, spew every obscenity known to man and then some. When I opened my eyes, he was smiling devilishly.

"But you still wanna fuck me... don't you?"

I nodded involuntarily, as if I no longer had control of my body, and Eddie's tongue shot into my mouth. His kiss was hurried, and vivacious, our faces smashed so close together it hurt... but I didn't care. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders, and without parting he hiked me up by my thighs and carried me to my bed.

He fell onto the mattress with me on top of him, shifting his body under my weight, continuing to breathe new life into me. His hands found my ass, greedily squeezing before gliding gently up my sides, lifting my shirt. The touch of his hands on my bare skin sent shockwaves up my spine. I broke away just long enough to grab the bunched fabric and rip it over my head throwing it to the floor. Like he couldn't function without them, he found my lips again.

"Mmm, mhh, hhhh... Bunny, I know I joke, but I'm not fuckin' around. Are you sure you want this?" He smoothed back my hair and searched my eyes.

I smiled brightly, tears flowing freely. "Eddie, I want this. I want you."

"Yeah?" He asked, just to be sure.

When I nodded he crashed his lips to mine, drinking them in, savoring them as I've wanted him to for so fucking long.

He rolled me onto my back, trailing hot, wet kisses down my neck, licking softly between my breasts. The heat of his breath was like fire on my skin, and it burned so good. He gently tugged at the front of my bra freeing my perky tits, stopping to admire me.

"Jesus H. Christ... you're so beautiful."

When he finally took a hard peak into his mouth, my back arched, my brow creased, my teeth clenched, and I sucked in a breath of praise, shaking from the stimulation.

"Mmm... Jesus, you're nipples are sensitive. Have they always been like that?"

"N-no... hoh--only when I'm... really turned on. And I-- I've been waiting... so long... for you to touch me like this."

I gasped as he gently flicked my nipple with the tip of his tongue, trailing it up my neck. He placed a chaste kiss on my lips, cupped my cheek, and kissed my forehead tenderly before leaning his on mine.

"My sweet, beautiful Bunny. I've been dreaming of touching you like this for ages, and I wanna take my time with you... to make our first time together last, but I don't think either one of us is gonna make it." He let out a breathy laugh. "Just seeing you, hearing you... knowing how you make me feel, and... knowing how you feel about me..."

He was shaking with urgency, lip quivering, running his hands through my hair, brushing my face with his fingertips... he was manic... and it was beautiful.

"Eddie... I know... there'll be time for all that. I just wanna be with you now."

He exhaled, eyes still shut tight, and he nodded before claiming my lips in a passionate kiss.

"Mhhhh... you're sure about this? About me?"

I gave him a sweet pout, cupped his face, and pulled his forehead to mine.

"Eddie... I want everything with you... and only you."

His whimper was resounding, muffled by my own as we kissed feverishly.

"Mmhhh, Y/n... are you safe? Can-can I take you raw?"

His expression was sweet. He was watching, waiting, yearning as he searched my face.

"Eddie, yes... I love you."

The instant the words left my lips he ravished mine. I ripped off his shirt and tossed it away, quickly locking lips again as he rushed to undo his belt. Without parting we both fumbled with his jeans only bothering to push them just past his hips, and in seconds he was pushing himself inside me. I sucked in a sharp breath, and he was shaking, mouth agape, eyes shut tight as he buried himself to the hilt.

"Ohhhhhsweet... Jeeesus!" He stilled, little broken moans reverberating throughout his chest as we got used to each other.

"Eddie, it's ok... I'm-I'm ok, uuh! Hyou--you can move."

He exhaled heavily and slowly started thrusting, adjusting to the tight space.

"GodDAMN! Hyou, mgghh... you feel better than anything I could've imagined. So soft, so warm... so fucking tight! Jesus, you're perfect."

He leaned his forehead to the crook of my neck as he picked up his pace. I was moaning like a harlot, my eyes rolling into the back of my head. It was pure fucking bliss. I wrapped my legs around his hips, holding him so close.

"I... I couldn't take it anymore." He breathed out. "I--I've been in love with you... since the day we met. Needed this... needed you... so fucking bad. Haww, uhhhh, FUCK!"

My heart skipped a beat. His thrusts were steady, almost prolonged, like he didn't want to consider the notion of this moment ending.

"Eddie, mhhh... I-- I've been dying to hear you say those words."

He lifted his head to look at me, and he was beaming, smoothing my hair back.

"Mhh, my angel. You... you doin' ok? You feel good? Uhhhh."

UGGGG! He was so fucking sweet.

"Eddie..." I ground my hips into him, coaxing from him a delicious guttural moan. He closed his eyes and lowered his head, but I grabbed his face and forced him to look at me. "I'm loving this. We're finally together. Please... don't stop until you make me yours."

He stared at me as if he wasn't sure I was telling the truth. I placed a small kiss of reassurance on his lips, and they turned up into a huge smile. If I didn't know any better I'd say he was about to cry. He immediately claimed my lips, wrapped his arms around my back, and started to move faster. His movements, his touch, his eyes... they said so much, and nothing at all. He made me feel so goddamn good I began to come undone.

"Eddie... I'm-I'm close."

"Uhhh, that's my girl." He immediately rolled us over so he was on his back. "Fuck me, Bunny. Make yourself feel good, ungghh, mhhh yeah, just like that. Hoh, oh fuck! Cum... cum for me, Bunny."

I pressed my hands, to his chest, spread my thighs wide, and fucked him hard until all I could do was throw my head back and scream his name.

"Eddie, oh, ohfuck, FUCK! EDDIE!!!"

I came hard on his thick cock. His body tensed, and I knew he was done for, but I continued to grind and swirl my hips.

"Eddie, I wanna hear you, feel you. Cum inside me, baby. Please... cum for me."

I have never heard a more beautiful sound in my life. He pulled me down, rolled us over, laced our fingers together, and held them above my head, as he ground his hips into mine.

"Mm-Y/n, I'm-I'm gonna fill you up... make you mine. Uhhhhh, fuck... FUCK!"

He gave one more powerful thrust, and his body shuddered. Making the most lewd, yet seductive sound I ever had the pleasure of witnessing, he pumped me full of his seed. Once he was finished he collapsed onto his side, his chest heaving, covered in a sheen of sweat.

"Uhhh... mhhh, h-holy shit..."

He smiled, met my blitzed-out gaze, and started laughing. I placed my hand on his cheek, and he closed his eyes, leaning into my touch. When he opened them he let out a content sigh. He reached for me, wrapped his arm around my waist, and pulled me into the spoon position. Looking down at me, he tilted my chin with his finger so he could see my face. He smiled brightly as an equally giddy smile crossed my lips, and he kissed me, squeezing me tight. I couldn't describe the happiness I felt.

"Eddie?"

"Yeah, Bunny?"

"How did you know?"

He chuckled. "I heard you talking to Robin earlier."

"You were eves dropping?"

"Guilty as charged. I knew it was wrong, but I'm glad I did it."

"Hmm, me too. Do you really wanna go to prom?"

"Not particularly. But I'm not about to let you guys have all the fun without me, so I'm willing to damage my hard-earned rep for you. I just wanna be with you, Bunny."

He placed sweet, wet kisses on my bare shoulder.

"Well, you're one hell of a dancer. Surprised the shit outta me." Mhh, those fucking giggles.

"I know a thing or two." He took his arm from around my waist, laced our fingers together, and held them close to my chest. "I also knew I'd get you to fuck me."

I couldn't help but laugh. "Eddie Munson... you're such an ass... but don't ever change." I turned my head to look at his smiling face, and he kissed me passionately. "Mmm, so... why didn't you tell me you liked me? I was on the verge of imploding."

"I could ask you the same thing."

"I asked you first."

"Hmm, m-hm, hmm! Well, I wanted to. Gareth was my number one cheerleader... but I was too chicken shit. I couldn't stand the thought of losing you if you didn't feel the same way. But when I heard you talking to Robin... it was like... a weight lifted from my shoulders. I love you, Y/n... so fucking much. I fell in love with you the moment we were introduced... but you were so young. So when you turned 18, I just..."

"You started laying it on thick. Jesus, I can't believe I didn't put two and two together."

"Yeah, well... it seemed to have the opposite effect I was going for. Apparently I came off a lot more irritating than charming, so Gareth and Jeff told me to dial it back, and that's when the small talk started."

"I can't believe I was so blind."

"You and me both, Bunny, but now it's your turn, so fess up."

"Hmm, then let me up. I need to show you something."

"Do I have to?"

"Yes, just for a moment. I promise."

Eddie kissed my knuckles and reluctantly let me up. I retrieved a stack of sketchbooks and made my way back to the bed. I plopped down and placed the books in front of him.

"Go ahead."

He rolled onto his side, and I watched as he opened them and scanned the pages in disbelief.

"Are-are these for the project?"

"No. Look at the dates."

He checked them all, page after page, book after book.

"You... you've been drawing me since freshman year?"

"Yeah. That's why I never let you see anything. I know that's kinda creepy, but I just..."

"Uh... this one's far from creepy. We are definitely doing this later."

He pointed to one of my more risqué drawings, smiling mischievously, and I blushed.

"Anyway..." I exaggerated, "I couldn't keep my eyes off you. I've been crazy about you since my first day of school. And when we finally started hanging out, and you began teasing me all the time, I fell for you... hard, but by that point I was deep in the friend zone, and it seemed like you only thought of me as one of the guys. I didn't wanna jeopardize our friendship either, so... I hid my feelings. I thought if you knew the truth... that our banter, the flirting... everything... would all end, so I played along. But when the teasing got worse it became excruciating, so I started lashing out. But I love you, Eddie... with all my heart, and after what we just shared... I've fallen even harder."

I was balling like a baby, and when Eddie trapped me in his arms I melted into him.

"Hey, don't cry, Bunny."

I chuckled through sobs. "They're happy tears, Eddie. Just years of pent-up emotion and sexual frustration finally being expelled. And I really dig the name Bunny. You can call me that one all the time."

"Done. My sweet... soft... beautiful... raging... wrathful Bunny." He kissed my lips between every word. "Mmm, mhh. Can I spend the night?"

"What? Oh, fuck no! Get your shit and go. I got what I wanted." I smiled playfully.

"Hey now, there's only room in this relationship for one asshole."

"I beg to differ."

He wiggled out of his jeans, pulled me down with him and we held each other close. It took mere minutes for us to succumb to the exhaustion. It was the best night's sleep I've had in a long time.

~~~~~

Prom night had finally come. My house was abuzz as all the girls gathered here to get ready while our parents socialized. I was a ball of nerves waiting to see what Eddie had in store for me.

"Alright, look up and hold still... now close your eyes." Nancy lifted my chin and proceeded to apply my eye eyeliner.

"Thanks for doing this, Nancy. Robin and I aren't really make-up girls."

"Don't mention it. You're much less fidgety than Robin."

Nancy was such a sweet girl. Another perk of being friends with Mike and Steve.

"There we go. Hand me your lipstick."

I did as she asked, and she proceeded to apply.

"So... how are you and Munson dealing at school? Blot."

I opened my mouth and clamped my lips down on the piece of toilet paper Nancy was holding.

"Well, we had our fair share of jock harassment on Monday, but I nipped that one in the bud."

"Yeah, Jonathan and I dealt with that crap too. Just let it roll off your shoulder. People eventually get bored. And how about prom? I never thought I'd see the day when Munson would attend."

"Yeah, he feels like he's going against everything he stands for, but if you ask me, I think he's secretly enjoying himself. He won't tell me a damn thing about his outfit, just that I needed to wear black and red. Steve took him shopping, but Eddie swore him to secrecy. All Steve would say is that once he showed Eddie that he could look good and keep his metalhead flair he was very receptive. Steve was proud of him."

Nancy flashed a sweet smile.

"Nancy! Y/n! Get your asses up here! The boys will be here any minute!"

"Keep your panties on Robin, we're comin'!" I took a deep breath as Nancy put the finishing touches on my make-up.

"Ok, all done."

I took one last look at myself in the mirror. My hair was huge, but it fit the theme, and my make-up looked amazing.

"Nancy, you're a miracle worker. I appreciate it!"

"No problem. I love these colors on you. Too dark for my taste, but they suit you."

We smiled at each other, put on our masks, wrapped an arm around each other, and squeezed each other's shoulders.

"Well... you ready?"

"As I'll ever be."

Nancy took my hand and we headed upstairs.

~~~~~

"AHHHHH!!! You... look... amazing. Eddie's gonna flip his shit."

"Thanks, Robin."

"Alright girls, get together. I want some pictures. Make sure you have your masks."

"Mom, wait. Where's Max and El."

"We're right here!" Max yelled, dragging El behind her.

We all gathered in my living room in front of the fireplace, pushing and shoving, trying to get situated.

"Alright, girls. Everyone look this way. One... two... three!"

"Cheeeeeeese!" We all chimed in unison.

We appeased our parents with several photos and that's when we heard the horns.

"Ooo! They're here. Come on let's go!"

Robin grabbed my hand and yanked me toward the front door. Standing in the driveway we watched as two limos pulled up the street. Girls and mothers alike joined the reprise or 'ooo's' and 'ahh's' and 'wows' as the boys piled out of the limos dressed to the nine. They were all so handsome.

"I don't see Eddie."

As soon as the words left my lips it was like the parting of the Red Sea. All the boys moved to the side to reveal Eddie in a devil mask wearing all black save for the red paisley vest and the trim that lined his leather waistcoat. It was gothic steampunk meets metalhead pirate. When he removed his mask he was smiling.

"Someone catch me, I think I'm gonna faint."

Robin grabbed my arm. It was like time stopped, save for Eddie and me. I stood there with my jaw on the ground, eyeballing him up and down as the boys made their way toward us. It was like watching a slow-motion male model montage. When Eddie was finally in front of me he pulled a single long-stemmed rose from behind his back and presented it to me.

"My lady."

I took it hesitantly, unable to speak. I just gawked trying to find my voice.

"You um... ha! Good God you look... so goddamn fuckable," I managed to whisper.

He chuckled. "Hmm, later. I see you followed my instructions. You look absolutely gorgeous. And the bunny mask? Excellent touch."

"I like yours too. Is that your way of protesting your participation in the forced social conformity?"

He chuckled and nodded. "I thought you'd appreciate that."

He claimed my lips with so much passion I forgot we were surrounded by a giant group of people, including my parents.

"Alright, alright. Break it up you two."

We broke apart in protest. Eddie looked at the ground sheepishly, and I pawed at my face, making sure my make-up wasn't a mess.

"Um, sorry Dad."

"Yeah, I'm sorry Mr. Y/l/n. She's just..." Eddie turned to look at me, "so beautiful."

"Mm-hm, she's also my little girl, so mind your manners." My dad held out his hand to Eddie, which he shook happily and with much relief. "You clean up nice, Eddie."

"Thanks, Mr. Y/l/n." They smiled before my dad clapped Eddie's shoulder in approval.

"Oh, get outta the way. Let me take a look at you, Eddie." My mom cupped his cheeks and gave him a once-over. "You look so handsome."

She trapped him in a hug, kissed him on the cheek, pulled back, and smiled.

"Thank you, Mrs. Y/l/n."

He kissed my mom's hand, making her blush, and then she ran to her next victim.

"Gareth Emerson, get your butt over here! Ooo, and who is this pretty lady?"

My mom's voice trailed off and Eddie and I laughed, focusing on each other. After several minutes of socializing and more pictures, I reminded my parents that we were all spending the night at Steve's, and then we finally made our way inside the limos and headed to Hawkins Hall.

~~~~~

The prying eyes were everywhere, but to our surprise, they were out of delight and not hatred.

"Bunny, is it just me, or have the jocks backed off lately?"

"Yeah, I may've had something to do with that."

"Oh? How's that?"

"Well, Monday was the last straw, so I told Carver that if he doesn't shut his dick licker and leave us and the other outcasts alone, the whole school would find out what he and his goons do in the locker room when they think no one's looking."

"Hahaha! What?! Are you serious?"

"Mm-hm."

"And how, pray tell, did you come across that juicy bit of gossip?"

"Well, it pays to have an ex-jock as a friend."

"Wha... Harrington told you this?!"

"That I did, my good man." Steve appeared out of nowhere and clapped Eddie on the shoulder. "Y/n came to the video store a few months back practically in tears, and I was pissed. I can't stand those assholes either, so... I figured that information might come in handy."

"Harrington, I could kiss you."

"Please don't."

They both smiled, and with a chuckle, Eddie patted Steve on the back.

"Thanks for the help, man. You're alright."

Steve gave Eddie's shoulder another pat and proceeded to escort Robin into the building. ~~~~~

I'm surprised none of us passed out from exhaustion. We sat only to eat. The rest of the time we were on the dance floor regaling each other with our moves.

Lucas was a break dancing and moonwalk prodigy. Dustin is a master at the worm. Max and El can replicate any Madonna move known to man. It was a fucking riot. We were cracking each other up with the more ridiculous dances, like me catching Eddie with the fishing pole, Steve and Robin doing the sprinkler, Steve, Eddie, Jonathan, Robin, me, and Nancy doing the library dance from 'The Breakfast Club', all the younger boys doing the Robot, and the lot of us doing the running man. Eddie even had a chance to flaunt his usual shenanigans, which meant dancing on top of a table. That was until Mrs. S. came over and made him get down. And me being a closet disco nerd was forced by Robin to do John Travolta's dance from Saturday Night Fever. I was so fucking nervous, but the cheers, and accompaniment of several other students who also knew the dance, including Robin and Chrissy Cunningham, helped my fear to dissipate. And of course, the majority of the student body performed Michael Jackson's Thriller. At the end of the night, to no one's surprise, Jason and Chrissy were crowned prom king and queen.

It was almost surreal. For the first time in... well, ever... there was no anger or animosity. Everyone in the building was getting along, and when it came time to leave, Chrissy made sure to find me and tell me how much fun she had dancing with me. She gave me a sincere smile and a big hug, but the strangest thing of all was when Jason confronted Eddie, but instead of disdain he offered a handshake thanking him for the entertainment. Eddie accepted his hand and congratulated him on winning prom king, and they actually smiled at each other. If I hadn't seen it with my own eyes I wouldn't have believed it.

When it came time for the after-party at Steve's house, Eddie and I took the opportunity to slip away and head back to his trailer so we could be alone.

~~~~~

We devoured each other like animals as we made our way through his trailer to his room. Feverish, sloppy kisses, lips and chins and necks, back to lips, until he pulled away, revealing a malevolent smile.

"As gorgeous as you are in this dress... I've been waiting all night to get you out of it. Off... now."

I did as he commanded, slowly peeled off my dress, and let it fall to the floor. My black lace bra and panties, stalkings, and garter belt were all that remained.

"Jesus Christ, you're stunning, Bunny."

Eddie stared at me with a carnal desire, drinking in the sight of my body, removing his clothing until he was shirtless. He advanced toward me slowly and started running his hands gently up my sides, and around my shoulders so he could unclasp my bra. I stood completely still as he dropped the flimsy article to the floor. He backed away slowly, his eyes glued to my tits. When he met my gaze I made a show of removing my panties, but when I tried to remove my stalkings he grabbed my hands.

"No... leave 'em on. The garter belt too. You're perfect just like this."

Eddie was breathing heavily, blackness consuming his eyes. He leaned forward to trap my nipple between his lips, sucking, licking, teasing each one in turn as I cradled his head, my needy whines and mewells filling the room.

"Mrrmm, Eddie... hyou-you're gonna make me cum."

"Mhhhh..." He released my nipple with a pop and straightened up. "Not yet, Bunny. I wanna taste you first." He gently cupped my tits and licked at my lips until I took his tongue into my mouth. "Hmmm... can I taste you?" He whispered his words, his hot breath sweeping across my face.

"Hhhhyes."

Before I knew it I was on my back, and Eddie was licking a slow, soft trail down my stomach. He latched his lips to the tender flesh of my waistline and sucked a deep purple mark into my skin.

"Mmm... you're mine now, Bunny. I can finally take my time with you."

All I could do was moan at his words. He kissed his mark, knelt on the floor in front of me, and pulled me to the edge of his bed. I could feel his hands, the cool metal of his rings, smoothing gently over my inner thighs, spreading them. I caught the sound of an inhale and felt his warm breath against my wet heat when he exhaled.

"Oh, Bunny, your scent... I need it all over me. On my fingers... my face... hmmm, my tongue. Look at me." I lifted my head long enough for his eyes to silently ask for permission. I gave him a shy nod, but instead of diving in like I figured he would, he lingered, took a quick taste with a flick of his tongue, and savored.

"Mgghh, Christ, that's so sweet."

The instant I felt his fingers slip into my folds I shrieked. His touch was gentle, massaging my thigh with one hand as his fingers barely grazed my inner lips and my clit. It was at that moment I knew that he was hell-bent on torturing me, teasing me, prolonging my pleasure until I was ready to burst. He wasn't going to give me what I so desperately wanted, not until I was begging for it, for him... and I would. I would do anything this man asked of me if it pleased him. When I felt the tip of his finger trace light circles over my clit I wanted to cry. I had a moment's reprieve when he stopped to lick his fingers clean.

"Mmmm, hhhhhh, Bunny, you taste like heaven... but if you don't stop squirming I'm gonna have to pin you down."

"Eddie... wh-why are you being so cruel?"

"Oh, Bunny... I've only just begun."

He blew a light stream of air on my clit until I whined, then he licked me gently from my dripping hole to my hard bud. I was thrashing around, trying to quell the sensation, only to have my thighs pinned to the mattress, by his strong, unyielding grip. Using the tip of his tongue he lightly teased the sensitive skin of my lips, and toyed with my swollen clit until I was sobbing from the pleasure. I tried to touch my sensitive nipples, to rush my release, but he reached up, locked his hands around my wrists, and held them at my sides so he could use his forearms to pin my thighs, then he flattened his tongue and licked from my ass to my clit. I screamed in frustration.

"Eddie, for fuck sake, please! Please let me cum."

He ignored my plea, continuing to fuck me with his tongue until he was ravenous. His pace not letting up as he devoured my pussy like he was starving.

"Holy fucking shit, Munson! Stop... please, just, just fucking stop!"

He halted immediately, breathing heavily. When he took a hand from my wrist to wipe his face, I made my move, twisting violently until I was free of his agonizing hold. I got to my knees, grabbed him by his belt, and pulled him roughly onto the bed, pushing him onto his back. I crawled up his body, straddled his head, and sank my cunt onto his waiting mouth. He dug his fingers into my thighs, the pain shooting through me, but I didn't care. I could finally get what I wanted.

"Mhhhh, Eddie... Yes, YES!" He moaned at my praise, sending chills up my spine. Fuck! The things this man can do with his mouth. I tangled my fingers tightly into his hair and fucked his face. "Munson... hoh... shit, SHIT!!! Hyou... you're gonna tell me... every dirty detail... about how you learned to do this... so fucking well! Fuck, I wanna cum for you!"

He moaned into my pussy. I could hardly control my breathing as small high-pitched whimpers escaped my lips. I was so close to the edge.

"Mhhhhhh..."

The vibrations of his moans, his caressing lips, and the flick of his tongue against my clit were making me buck even harder as his painful grip on my thighs held me steady. I've never felt pleasure like this. He was too good, I could feel a sensation so incredibly earth-shattering building inside me. He must've felt it too 'cause he reached up to tease my nipples, as he feasted, lapped, licked, and sucked at my dripping pussy. My whimpers were loud, shameless, and FUCK were they warranted. I was plunged into a realm of pleasure and bliss, and Eddie was the cause. I let go of his hair, cupped his hands over my tits, and ground my pussy against his face as I experienced the most intense orgasm in the history of sex.

"OhhhhhhFUCK!!! Oh... GOD!... Eddie, EDDIE... Holy SHIT!!!"

"Mmmm, that's it, Bunny. Mhhhhhh."

I continued screaming his name as he greedily sucked and lapped at the sticky mess that poured from my pussy.

"Mmmmm! Fuck! You're taste... it's so goddamn satisfying! Hhhmm!"

He lapped once more at my overstimulated clit. I tried to steady my breathing as I climbed off of him, collapsing onto my back. Breathing heavily he turned his head to look at me, rolled onto his side, and propped himself on his elbow so he could stare at me. His eyes trailed up and down my body, so I decided to tease him. He was in the perfect position to watch. I put my knees up and spread them wide, dipping a finger into my still-dripping folds. I coated it with my slick juices and ran a trail of cum up the middle of my body before raising my finger to his lips. He let out an adorable whimper before sucking it clean.

"Mmmmm... Jesus Christ... you're fucking intoxicating."

He shifted his body, hovering above me so he could trace the trail of cum with his tongue, then he pressed his weight against me, kissing me deeply, passionately before he got to his knees to unbuckled his belt. He undid his pants and pushed them off. Once they were on the floor with the rest of our discarded clothing, he leaned over me, the head of his throbbing cock pushing against my heat. He took my hard peaks into his mouth once more gently teasing my sensitive nipples with the tip of his tongue. The soft tickles were too much to bear, and I almost came, only to be denied. He sat back on his heels, his knees spread wide so his massive erection was standing at attention between my legs, but before he could pull me toward him I quickly got on all fours facing him and wrapped my lips around his swollen head.

"Ohhhhhhhhh..." he breathed out.

He started convulsing as I used my tongue to toy with his slit. I sucked his head into my mouth and slowly swallowed him whole until my nose was touching his coarse, dark pubes. He brushed his fingers through my hair, holding it back so he could watch as I took him in and out of my mouth.

"Oh, Bunny... uhhhhyeah... suck me, beautiful... just like that... ohhhhhh."

Still sitting on his heels he leaned back, braced himself on his hands, and spread his knees wider. I pulled all the way off of him before sucking him into the back of my throat.

"OH!! God...DAMMIT!!!"

I swallowed hard around him, releasing him to catch my breath, and sank again, slurping and gagging as he used one hand to hold my head, and I loved every second of it. When he let me surface for air his chest was heaving. I grabbed the base of his cock and squeezed as I vigorously sucked his tip. He sucked in a hiss, his breath catching in his throat, chest heaving as I started to work him faster. His vocals just made me more feral.

"Oh...SWEET JESUS!!! You're... you're fucking phenomenal... Uhhnnggg..."

My strokes and his breathing became more erratic.

"Oh, oh, fuck! That's my good girl, my good Bunny, mhhhhh... keep-keep going. Take me deep. OhhhhhhFuck! YES!"

With his fingers clenched in my hair and his cock lodged deep in my throat, I sucked his soul through his dick. His body was shuddering, jolt after jolt of sexual electricity, until he pulled my head up.

"Jesus Christ! That-that's so fucking good, hhmhh... but I don't wanna cum yet..... HOH! GODDAMN!"

His whole body tensed as I licked him from balls to tip, sucking his sensitive head one last time. When he opened his eyes he caught my smug smile, threw his head back, and started laughing.

"That was payback, you teasing fuck."

His laugh morphed into a heady moan as I trailed my tongue through his pubes, over the wiry muscles of his stomach until I was on my knees, teasing his hard nipple with my tongue. He caressed my head tenderly as I suckled before he forced it up and shoved his tongue down my throat.

"MmmHmmm... hhhhhhh. O-ok, I get it. I've met my match. Now lie back baby girl."

With his knees under my thighs and my hot wet cunt begging to be filled, we made eye contact.

"Oh, Bunny... you're so gorgeous it hurts. Are you ready for me?"

"Munson, if you don't put your dick inside me, like yesterday, I'm never speaking to you again... now fuck me!"

I threw my head back and whimpered as Eddie grasped my thighs and plunged his cock deep inside me.

"Oh, FUCK! Munson! PLEASE!"

I stared at him through half-lidded eyes, mouth agape as I rubbed my tits. With every powerful thrust I became more and more excited... and so very close to another intense orgasm. He used a thumb to tease my sensitive clit. I arched my back, my tits moving up and down with every heavy breath. He dug his fingers into my thigh, still teasing my clit as he continued to pound into me, willing me to scream his name.

"Oh... FUCK! EDDIE!!! Oh my God. I'm gonna cum!!!"

"That's it Bunny... take my cock. Wanna, MRRGGG! Wanna watch your sweet pussy gush from what I do to you. I want it all over me."

"Oh, that fucking mouth, Munson!"

"You mean this mouth?"

He wrapped his arms around the small of my back, leaning down to lick and kiss my navel, then he lifted me upright so he could claim my tits again, licking and sucking as he held me close, his course hair rubbing against my clit as he fucked up into me. My walls started to clench around him, so he laid me down and ran his hand from my tits back to my clit.

"Scream for me, Bunny... scream my fucking name!"

He commanded me, letting his head fall back as he fucked me and continued to rub circles around my clit with his thumb.

"Oh... holy shit, Eddie! EDDIE! Oh my GOD!"

Screaming, I clenched the sheets and a burst of liquid sprayed all over his abdomen.

"YES! OHHHHHHFUCK!!! I'm-I'm gonna bust. C-can I come inside you?"

"Yes! Do it!"

He slammed into me one last time and his whole body tensed.

"Ohhhhh, Fuck!!! God.... DAMMIT!!! HOHHHH, ohhh my gorgeous girl."

His fingers dug into my waist until he rode out his release and collapsed on top of me. I threw my limbs around him as he poured all of his emotion into our kiss. I was on the verge of tears.

"Munson... I love you. I love you so much." We hugged each other so tight. "Hyou... you can do that to me forever if you like."

He looked up, still breathing hard, and smiled. Staring into my eyes with all the love in the world, he brushed some hair from my face, placed one more passionate kiss on my smiling lips, rolled us onto our sides, and pulled me tightly to his chest.

"Hmm, my beautiful, raging... wrathful, Bunny. I love you more than life itself. Ending our friendship was the best decision we ever made."

•••••❤️❤️•••••

Thank you for reading! Be excellent to each other, and get your Munson on!

🤘

Freddy 'Boom Boom' Washington from 'Welcome Back Kotter'... Hi there!

Vinnie Barbarino from 'Welcome Back Kotter'

The Beatles 'Another Girl' video from the movie 'Help'

Your prom dress and mask.

[sarafinamk]

Space Riders Shenanigans Using Incorrect Quotes

There is no Archangel (Reader) in this post. This is just pure chaos revolving around the Smiling Critters crew and Z.

For more information on my Archangel series, check out my author's note at the end of the post. To read my fanfics and other shitposts, click here.

The Smiling Critters Space Riders Au and the character "Z" belongs to @onyxonline Hope y'all enjoy!

Warning: Swearing

----------

Kickin: Caw caw, motherfuckers!

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Z and Dogday: *staring into each other's eyes*

Catnap: *opens a soda can*

Dogday: We're having a moment.

Catnap: I'm having a cola.

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Hoppy: If I can't cause tiny bits of chaos every day, I think my body will shut down.

----------

*Prepping for a mission*

Hoppy: Yo, you ready to go?

Catnap: Yep, got ready in 5 minutes.

Dogday: Where's Kickin?

Hoppy: *Laughs* Still in the shower.

Kickin, from the shower: GIVE ME A SECOND, OKAY??? DO YOU THINK I WAKE UP THIS BEAUTIFUL EVERYDAY??? NO! THIS TAKES T I M E

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Bubba, in a diplomatic meeting: I dunno if I'm ready to process the ramifications of this bullshit.

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Z: That's ridiculous, the Captain doesn't have a crush on me.

Catnap: Yes he does.

Bobby: Yes he does.

Dogday: Yes I do.

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Catnap: Are you mad?

Picky: No.

Catnap: So sharpening your knives at 3 in the morning is just a hobby?

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Dogday: We are not mad. We are just disappointed.

Catnap: No, we are mad.

Dogday: Yes. We are. We are livid. But we are going to let this one slide.

Catnap: No, we're not!

Dogday: I am not a mind reader, Catnap!

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The Prototype: Enough! How dare you mock me in such a manner?!

Catnap: Well, how would you like me to mock you? I take requests.

----------

*During the Space Riders' trainee days*

Crafty: Wow, this parking is as straight as I am.

Hoppy: I know I should be focused on the fact that you just came out, but HOW DARE YOU INSULT MY PARKING!

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Literally anyone: How many siblings do you have?

Dogday: Biologically, legally, or emotionally? Because there is a difference.

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Catnap: I will put 'A' down to make 'A.'

Picky: I will add to your 'A' to make 'AT.'

Crafty: I will add onto your 'AT' to make 'RAT.'

Bubba: I will add onto your 'RAT' to make 'BIOSTRATAGRAPHIC.'

Hoppy: *flips the board*

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Kidnapper: We have your friend.

Bubba: You will have to specify.

Kidnapper, with Z glaring at him: The- the sexy one.

Bubba, sighing: He made you say that, didn't he?

Kidnapper, crying: Please come and get him. He won't stop flirting with me and my wife.

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*On a date*

Dogday, to Z: We both look very handsome tonight.

*Later*

Hoppy: You know, if you'd just said that he looked handsome, he would have said, "So do you."

Dogday, with his face buried in a pillow: I couldn't take that chance...

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Picky: I baked you a pie!

Cultist: Really?! What flavor?

Picky: *pulls gun out of the pie* DEATH!

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Bubba: Goddamn it, the printer broke while printing out Dogday's birthday invitations.

Catnap: Well, what are they supposed to say?

Bubba: "Dogday's birthday."

Catnap: So, what do they say instead?

Bubba: "Dogday's bi."

Catnap:

Catnap: Works out either way.

----------

Hoppy: I sort of did something and I need some advice, but I don't want a lot of judgement and criticism.

Bubba: And you came to me?

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Bobby: Oh, I have a medical condition alright. It's called "caring too much." And it's uncurable!

----------

Dogday: When did you know?

Bobby: I know a lot of things, Dogday.

Dogday: Why didn't you tell me I was in love with Z?! All this time I could've just -

Bobby: I told you from the start. I spelled out that boy crush to you, to your face, and I don't want to tell you I told you so -

Dogday, groans: Then don't.

Bobby: But I told you so.

----------

Kickin: Dead leafs? That's called yard salad now, and it's the new food trend.

Picky: *Leaves*

Kickin: Where are you going?

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Bubba: I swear to god I'm the only one here with a braincell.

Hoppy, Kickin, Catnap, and Dogday: ALL HAIL the keeper of the sacred braincell!

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Dogday: This is a very powerful artifact. You'd be messing with some forces we don't fully understand.

Hoppy: That sounds like a dare to me.

Dogday: Oh my god.

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Picky: *sharpens knife* We've got ways of making people talk.

Picky: *cuts piece of cake*

Prisoner: ... Can I have some?

Picky: Cake is for talkers.

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Dogday: I'm not gay, but you look hot today.

Z: We're literally dating.

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Kickin: Hey, do you think I could fit fifteen marshmallows in my mouth?

Bubba: You're a hazard to society.

Hoppy: And a coward. Do twenty.

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Z: It's pretty cold outside... wanna hold hands? We should stay close.

Dogday, blushing: Okay.

Hoppy: It's fucking summer.

----------

*Picky cooking*

Kickin: Smells good in here.

Picky: Better smell good, it's dinner.

Kickin, picking up a strainer: Oh shit, heard you're not supposed to yell into these things.

Picky: What- Why?

Kickin: You'll strain your voice.

Picky:

Picky: Leave.

Kickin: *leaves the room cackling*

Picky: God-

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Bubba: What's gone wrong, Hoppy?

Hoppy: Hey! That's one hell of a thing to say to a person. Just because I'm calling doesn't mean there's a crisis.

Bubba: That's technically true, I suppose. Why are you calling?

Hoppy: Well... There's a crisis.

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Bobby: I know you love him.

Dogday: I am not in love with Z!

Bobby, smugly: I never said who...

Dogday: *realizes*

----------

Bubba: I just accidentally prematurely sent an email to Commander Ludwig... It was supposed to say "I am afraid that we will have to postpone our meeting," but I hit send when all it said was:

Bubba: Dear Commander Ludwig, I am afraid.

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Crafty: The only thing I'm guilty of is being adorable...and also assault with a deadly weapon.

----------

Hoppy, T-posing in the doorway: Greetings, Bubba.

Bubba, not looking up from his coffee: Good morning, problem child.

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Bobby, looking at the squad: Okay, so I need to become a therapist faster.

----------

Kickin: I'm 80% awesome 20% water and 100% handsome.

Bubba: That's 200%

Kickin: I'm twice the man you'll ever be.

----------

*Bobby training Dogday on how to flirt with Z*

Bobby, whispering: Just tell him "You have beautiful eyes."

Dogday, whispering back: Good idea.

*Dogday turns to Z*

Dogday: I have beautiful eyes.

Bobby: ...

----------

Kickin: You have crayons?

Crafty: Yes, I have-

Kickin: You're- how old are you?

Crafty: YES I AM AN ADULT AND I HAVE CRAYONS. I HAVE A BOX OF EMERGENCY CRAYONS IN THE CABINET UNDER THE TV BECAUSE EVERYBODY NEEDS CRAYONS SOMETIMES, OKAY? EVERYBODY NEEDS CRAYONS.

----------

Picky: Did you wash the dishes?

Catnap: I thought you wanted to do that...

Picky: *chuckles* You were WRONG.

----------

Bubba: That's a nice argument, Kickin. Why don't you back it up with a source?

Kickin: My source is that I made it the fuck up!

----------

Kickin: I'm a firm believer in "if you're going to fail, you might as well fail, spectacularly."

----------

Dogday: Does everyone know their job for today?

Crafty: Water the flowers.

Bobby: Vacuum the carpet.

Catnap: Wash the dishes

Hoppy: Pretend to be a wolverine.

Dogday: Close enough.

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Picky, washing the dishes: Who the fuck used this pan??

Picky: Wait. I the fuck used this pan...

Hoppy: It was you the fuck.

Picky: It was I the fuck...

Bubba: Who cooks rice in a pan?

Hoppy: She the fuck.

----------

Bubba: If you've got any questions, just ask.

Kickin: If a bear and a shark had a fight, who would win?

Bubba: ... If you've got any RELEVANT questions, just ask.

----------

Hoppy: *sighs*

Catnap: You bored?

Hoppy: Yeah.

Catnap: Wanna start drama for no reason?

Hoppy: I thought you'd never ask.

----------

Kickin: *Gasp*

Bubba: WHAT??

Kickin: What if soy milk is just milk introducing itself in Spanish?

Bubba: *inhales*

Dogday, in another room with Catnap: Why can I hear screeching?

----------

Picky: Alright, what pizza toppings should we order?

Catnap: Anchovies and pineapple.

Hoppy: I like beets!

Z: Have you guys ever had a cheese-less pizza?

Picky: I'm disowning all of you.

----------

Crafty: Hey, Dogday? Can I get some dating advice?

Dogday: Just because I'm with Z doesn't mean I know how I did it.

----------

Kickin: We can bake these cookies at 400 degrees for 10 minutes or 4,000 degrees for 1 minute.

Picky: No, that's not how you make cookies.

Hoppy: FLOOR IT!!

Kickin: How about 4,000,000 degrees for 1 second?!?

Picky: YOU'RE GONNA BURN THE SHIP DOWN-

Kickin: I'M GONNA HARNESS THE POWER OF THE FUCKING SUN TO MAKE COOKIES!

Hoppy: DO IT!

Picky: NO-

----------

Dogday: Good morning.

Bubba: Good morning.

Catnap: Good morning.

Kickin: You all sound like robots, trying spicing it up a bit.

Hoppy: MORNING MOTHERFUCKERS!

----------

Dogday: How did you crash the ship?!

Hoppy: So I was just flying today, right? And my navigation told me to go straight.

Hoppy: I was like "woah, that's homophobic." Instead, I went gay. And, THAT'S when I got into an accident.

Dogday: ...

----------

Dogday: Z kissed me!

Catnap: Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God!

Dogday: It was unbelievable!

Bobby: Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God!

Crafty: Okay, we wanna hear everything. Picky, get the wine and disconnect the communicators. Captain, does this end well or do we need tissues?

Dogday: Oh, it ended very well.

Picky: Do not start without me! Do not start without me!

Hoppy: Okay, alright, let's hear about the kiss. Was it a soft brush against your lips or was it like a, you know, "I gotta have you now" kind of thing?

Dogday: Well, at first it was really intense, you know? And then, oh God, and then we just sort of sunk into it.

Bobby: Ohh... So, okay, was he holding you? Or were his hands on your back?

Dogday: First they started out on my waist and then they slid up and then they were in my hair.

The girls + Catnap: Ohhh.

*Meanwhile with Z, Kickin, and Bubba*

Z: And, uh, and then I kissed him.

Bubba: Tongue?

Z: Yeah.

Kickin:

Bubba:

Z:

Kickin: Cool.

----------

Author's Note: Thank y'all for the love and support you've given me so far. You guys have been amazing. Trust me, I haven't lost interest in the Space Riders Fandom, and I have more ideas for the Fallen Angel series. It's just that I have classes to make up for this summer because of negligence from my uni. I'll do my best to post more, but just be patient with me. Thank for your understanding.

[stabbyfoxandrew]

#14's Past

I finally got over the cringe so here I am with OC stuff again! If you remember, we left off with Fay joining the mob. If you haven't read Introducing #14!, you should probably go do that and meet my little guy before you read this. :)

Solo:

After working for the Butlers (Marcus' family) for a while, Fay garners quite the reputation. He handles pressure well. He's smart and quick on his feet. Though he hasn’t got a driver’s license, he’s a hell of a wheel man. He also does just as he's told and knows how to keep things under his hat. After Big Marcus (Marcus’s dad) insists on teaching him to shoot, they learn he's a crack shot. With such great qualifications, he ends up becoming a gun for hire. A freelance assassin, if you will. 

So he bounces around the country working for a lot of horrible people and becoming one himself. He goes by Ghost on the job— because he’s nineteen and thinks it sounds cool. (Loser. /affectionate.) His occupation gets his name out on various and numerous hit lists. Of course it's never his real name. No. He holds Aaron Farris close to his chest. No one but his ex teammates and the Butlers know him by that name.

Speaking of names, he's got plenty of them. A dozen aliases, carefully crafted by Big Marcus, kept stashed away in a binder. Every page details a different persona. He's got IDs tucked inside as well as reminders of how they act, speak, dress, etc. And the contacts he has for each of them. He's a very organized motherfucker. And he keeps this well guarded. It's his entire life. Or, lives. 

Swapping into a different persona is easy. Sometimes too easy. But it pays well. He can slap on a new accent and change his clothes and it’s like he was never there in the first place.

Familia: 

After a while, Fay hangs up his Ghost persona and starts doing other mob work. In doing so, he ends up earning himself a spot under Tony DiAngelo, eventually becoming his right hand man. Tony grows to think of him as a son, calls him Luka. (“Ya know. That’s what I woulda named my son, if I had one.”) Fay stays in Los Angeles for over a year, working for one of the biggest players on the west coast. 

Until the feds catch up to Tony and raid his building. He and Fay are in his office, in the penthouse when one of his sentinels comes to warn him. Tony tells Fay to take the fire escape and run. Fay doesn’t want to, but Tony tells him he’s ‘too goddamn young’ to get caught up in this. Tony pushes his wallet into Fay’s hands and tells him to get the fuck out or Tony will shoot his ass. (“You wouldn’t.”/ “I’d rather kill you than drag you to prison with me.”) So Fay flees down the fire escape, feeling like a traitor.

With his life ripped out from under him yet again, Fay sees no other alternative. He goes back to what he thinks he’s best at. Being quick and quiet, unknown. He becomes Ghost again and writes letters to his imprisoned father figure. He never gives details, just lets him know he’s alive. Signs them all 'Luka DiAngelo', a boy who never existed.

Settling Down:

By 22, Fay is tired.

He’s killed more people in the past year than he's spoken to. He's got no real friends left, only contacts. No family, only employers. He's been living out of seedy motels and storage units. He's got no stability, no one to depend on. And... He's starting to imagine things, hearing and seeing things that aren’t there. Haha. The pressure must be getting to him... 😅😬

One night after a job goes wrong in North Carolina, turns out killing a senator is pretty tricky, he hauls ass out of there and heads South. He gets as far as Columbia, SC, before running out of gas. That's when he coasts into a hotel parking lot and gets himself a room. He's scared to death and shaking, afraid he's been followed. That they're going to find him. That the man who hired him is going to kill him for failing. After sitting and watching the window all night, he decides he has to get out of this business. He has to. Before he cracks up completely.

After a few days of trying to decide what to do, he hears that Kevin Day is officially playing striker for the Foxes. If he could get a new start after his world fell apart, maybe Fay could do the same. After all, the university is so close. And he’s got money saved up. And it would be fun to watch Kevin play… So he makes a call to Big Marcus, asks him for a favor. Once he receives his new identification papers in the mail, he applies and gets accepted.

Okay! That's all for his past, unless anyone wants to know anything specific. Next post we'll be seeing Fay at PSU, perhaps meeting the Foxes... Also if you have any questions about this loser from my mind, please send me an ask. I will be so happy to talk about him!

fay's friends: @joanofexys @ordei @themundanemudperson @felixvanhuss (if you'd like to be tagged next time, let me know! and if you don't wanna be tagged anymore, let me know.)

[drowninginships]

An Ask Game for Writers to Procrastinate Working on Your WIP(s)

First of all, thank you soooo much to @monbons and @valeffelees for tagging me, I nearly had a whole breakdown over how nice this fandom is and how good it feels to be included in something like this. Yall are the sweetest, thank you <3 1. 🦈Tell us the name of your/ one of your WIP(s): Uhhhh, yall name your WIPs beforehand? I currently have two documents titled "nose ring simon" and "wing fic" and I typically title it just before I post it.

2. 🍄Describe your WIP/one of your WIP(s) in the format of “___ + ___ =___” I think you'll find this is a pretty easy formula for most, if not all, of my fics. Simon + Piercing + Baz Horny. Alternatively, Simon + Wings = Baz Horny. Sensing a theme?

3. 🌍What tags or warnings will one of your WIP(s) need if you intend to share it? Explicit tags, for sure. It'd be pretty funny to tag the wingfic as monsterfucking, so I'll probably do that, but otherwise, nothing crazy going on here. Just boys very much in love.

4. 🧭An alternative title to one of your WIP(s)? "wing fic" often affectionately gets called "how the fuck do wings work" or "goddamn motherfucking physics"

5. ⚠️Which WIP you're most likely to finish or update next? Definitely the piercing one. The wing fic isn't cohesive or coherent at this time, and it's more of a collection of scenes rather than a whole fic, anyway. I'm having a lot of fun writing the piercing one!!!

6. 💾What is your document of your WIP/ a WIP called? (not the stories actual title but what you’ve saved it as) Please see answer #1. It's truly mind boggling to know that some of yall are out here naming WIPs.

7. 🖍Post Any sentence(s) from your WIP.

Of course it's gold. Everything about Simon is gold. His mind, his body, his soul. The color of his skin and his hair when the sun shines through it from behind. The small loop now adorning his nostril.

8. ♻️A scrapped idea for your current WIP. For wing fic, I was trying to figure out a way to make an au scene where everyone has wings, and I could do a little, like, wing caretaking session? But I couldn't find a solid enough reason for everyone to have wings, and also I realized I just didn't care enough about that scene to pursue it further.

9. 🤔What’s a story you’d love to write but haven’t even started yet? I find this question particularly difficult. I don't know that there are any stories I want to tell, right now. Usually when I want to write something, I schedule it in and I do it. Right now, there's nothing on the back-burner.

10. 🤡How many WIPS are you actively working on? Only the 2! I'm not usually one to work on multiples at a time.

11. 🛠Is there a scene or anything in the WIP you are struggling with right now? Re: "goddamn motherfucking physics," I've never been super into fantasy or a fandom that particularly liked wings, so I genuinely have no clue how these things work. I took on this project as a gift for @valeffelees after he lamented the lack of wing fics for him to devour, and while I'm not an expert, I'm certainly trying my best. But like, the anatomy??? of a wing???

12. ❤️Not a question, just a second Kudos to send. Again, thank you both so much for tagging me. You're exactly who I would have tagged here, so instead of tagging you both again, I'll tag @thewholelemon even though I know you've already filled this out <3 Also, I'll tag @chaoticgaywitch @iamamythologicalcreature @youarenevertooold @beastmonstertitan and @brilla-brilla-estrellita because you all played our stupid little poetry game and brought me a lot of joy!

[destinygoldenstar]

"STEAL THE IDOL" (COUNTER)

(This is from my Episode 10 Reaction of Disventure Camp)

"I found the clue to the location of an immunity totem. It should be right here."

NO WHY WOULD YOU TELL HER THAT-

Okay he doesn't know of her thinking about flipping, to be fair. But still.

"I sure hope no one STEALS the idol or anything!"

Counter: 1

They're gonna steal it.

Counter: 2

Ellie's gonna tell Fiore & Alec, "Hey guys, I know how to save you guys. Tom has an idol. Steal it from him and use it for the council."

Counter: 3

That's definitely a plan!

<><><><><><>

"This is not good. That totem gives Tom more power than he already has."

THEN STEAL IT.

Counter: 4

PROBLEM SOLVED.

<><><><><><>

And I'm not even saying she shouldn't side with the villains if that's a game move that works for her. There's just a dozen impersonal ways to play this game.

You can win, AND keep your friendships!

Just find out who the target is, steal the idol from Tom when he isn't looking, use it to prevent the tie, and then FLIP.

Counter: 5

<><><><><><>

"If I vote with you, won't it just end in a 3-3 tie?"

"Not if we find a way to split that alliance."

OR STEAL THE IDOL.

Counter: 6

<><><><><><>

"You talk to Jake a lot, you must have noticed how insecure he is."

"If you can trick him by telling him some lie about Tom, he'll surely believe it."

SHE'S NOT GONNA DO THAT.

JUST STEAL THE IDOL. YOU KNOW WHO HAS IT.

Counter: 7

"But how would they steal the idol?"

Counter: 8

Just tell Tom and Jake to go hang out and be all cute, like go swimming or something. Tom will have to leave this stuff behind for that. And when they're gone, STEAL THE IDOL.

Counter: 9

"But he'll notice"

MAKE A FAKE ONE AND SWAP THEM.

Ellie KNOWS what these idols look like! Gabby used one for her!

YOU DON'T HAVE TO HURT JAKE.

<><><><><><>

"I'll also make sure Jake never trusts Tom again."

WHAT?! NO!!!

YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO THAT FAR!!!!!

JUST STEAL THE IDOL FROM TOM AND FLIP

Counter: 10

I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SAY THIS ALL THROUGHOUT THE EPISODE

YOU DON'T HAVE TO DESTROY SOMEONE'S RELATIONSHIP!!

<><><><><><>

"Tom possibly has an immunity totem."

Okay. Steal it.

Counter: 11

<><><><><><>

"We need a plan to counter it."

NO YOU DON'T. STEAL IT.

Counter: 12

STEAL THE FUCKING IDOL.

Counter: 13

<><><><><><>

"I did my part. Now who are we going to vote for?"

You know what the weird part is? I don't even know how this benefits you guys.

Tom has an idol.

You didn't even have to gaslight Jake. You could've just stole the idol.

Counter: 14

I'm pretty sure the game NEVER said that the person who got the idol was the only one who could play it.

😭Just steal the goddamn idol...😭

Counter: 15

<><><><><><>

"Alec, Ellie, and I voted for Jake. So if you don't use your totem to save your little dumb boyfriend, he's gone tonight."

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?!?!?

SO YOU'RE ASKING TOM TO USE THE IDOL. WHY?!???!! THAT SCREWS YOU OVER.

Unless she's lying and she and Alec flipped...

But THAT WOULD BE EVEN WORSE.

You betray Ellie, YET AGAIN. You LOSE HER as an ally.

Unless you're trying to boot her and have her be 5th place. BUT THEN YOU HAVE JAKE AND MIRIAM AS AN ALLIANCE TO WORRY ABOUT.

YOU DON'T NEED TO DO THIS. YOU DON'T NEED TO GASLIGHT JAKE. YOU DON'T NEED TO SAY ANY OF THIS SHIT.

Just convince Ellie to be on your side to get her to flip, vote for who you want out, convince Tom & Jake to do something that forces Tom to leave the idol behind...

AND THEN. STEAL. THE. MOTHERFUCKING. IDOL.

Counter: 16

THAT IS THE EASIEST AND CLEANEST SOLUTION TO ALL YOUR DAMN PROBLEMS.

AND YET YOU CHOOSE TO DESTROY THESE PEOPLE INSTEAD AND MAKE THINGS TOO BLOODY COMPLICATED.

WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM?!?!?!?!?!?

<><><><><><>

"But what about the idol?" In this universe, Tom got the idol. He told Ellie he was getting it. She could've convinced Tom "Hey, give that to me, I need it more and I can help you if you take me to the finale." If Tom agrees, you have an idol and you are in a much more protective position than you were previously.

"But what if Tom doesn't want to give anyone his idol?" Are you ready for it?

STEAL. THE. FUCKING. IDOL.

Counter: 17

The game NEVER says that the one who finds it is the only one who can use it. So if you STEAL it, you can use it to nullify the other alliance's votes and get someone there the boot instead.

Counter: 18

You didn't need to pull any of this flipping bullshit that Fiore & Alec did here. It was a complication that was not necessary.

"But what if Tom doesn't ever part with his idol?" Then MAKE HIM part with it! Invite Tom and Jake to go swimming or something, a situation that forces Tom to not take the idol with him, and when no one is in the cabin, make an excuse to leave, and steal the idol.

Counter: 19

<><><><><><>

SO IN CONCLUSION...

"I sure hope no one STEALS the idol or anything!"

They're gonna steal it.

Steal it from him and use it for the council.

THEN STEAL IT.

steal the idol from Tom when he isn't looking

OR STEAL THE IDOL.

JUST STEAL THE IDOL.

"But how would they steal the idol?"

And when they're gone, STEAL THE IDOL.

JUST STEAL THE IDOL FROM TOM AND FLIP

Okay. Steal it.

NO YOU DON'T. STEAL IT.

STEAL THE FUCKING IDOL.

You could've just stole the idol.

😭Just steal the goddamn idol...😭

AND THEN. STEAL. THE. MOTHERFUCKING. IDOL.

STEAL. THE. FUCKING. IDOL.

So if you STEAL it

and steal the idol.

ME AND THIS IDOL HAVE BEEF, IF YOU CAN'T TELL

[hymemena]

The Quarry Sentence Starters

Feel free to change pronouns as necessary, and remember to specify muse for multimuse blogs.

CW: Swearing, violence, injury, animal attack mention, suggestive

—

"Swarm of bears?"

"Fine… Okay. Once again, -muse- puts themself in mortal danger for the sake of their 'work friends.'"

"Just… How can you be so certain?"

"If I let my conscience slow me down, now, everything gets a lot worse for everyone. Believe me."

"Ah-ah, you'll have it when I say you'll have it."

"Alright, huddle up boys, this is how we're gonna do this."

"There's a half naked girl/boy waiting for you back there, -name-, what are you doing?"

"It was… It was okay."

"They seemed pretty insistent we stay in the lodge."

"I'm just desperate to stay afloat in a world where everyone wants to be different."

"Sometimes things just don't make sense."

"Fuck!"

"Son of a binky-bonky!"

"Well, at least I don't look and smell like a butt."

"Podcast, huh?"

"Family is very important."

"Does this look like the Goddamn Harbinger Motel to you?!"

"Maybe they don't check their voicemail."

"How was I supposed to know that?"

"I saw it online."

"I don't know! This was my first cop!"

"You're a horrible person."

"You shot me?! I'm telling mom!"

"You stabbed me. That really hurt."

"Goodbye, cruel world! The final curtain is calling and there's no time for an encore…"

"Who should we call?"

"Ninety-one one."

"You mean nine-one-one? Who says ninety-one-one?"

"Okay, well, just because you're using 'logic' to 'make sense' doesn't mean that I'm totally into it."

"Hey, you're singing off-key."

"We are being hunted by literal monsters and this is what scares you?!"

"Oh my God. You are so childish."

"Yeah, if they made a podcast called 'How To Look And Smell Like A Butt.'"

"-Muse-, what's your position?"

"Uhm… Standing?"

"I just can't wait to see who they choose to play me. In the movie about how brave I am."

"Maybe you should have asked them out on a date?"

"Damn it! I missed my shot!"

"P-A-R-T… Why the fuck not?"

"Check out my huge melons!"

"There's been a horrible accident--Attack. Some stuff's bad here."

"I'm not gonna fuck a bear."

"Sorry!"

"Why didn't you tell me there was something out there?!"

"I don't know what I saw!"

"Oh my God, -Muse-, you won't believe this! It's… Nothing."

"Yeah, well… Worse things have happened this summer."

"You beefed it."

"Ah, not this time, motherfucker!"

"And what? Risk another run-in with Captain Deliverance?"

"Well, that bodes ill!"

"Whoa, watch your step!"

"Why'd you do that?"

"You told me to!"

"That was a bad idea."

"Huh. Rude."

"They get kinda hot when they're bossy, huh?"

"I'm always hot, pencil dick."

"It's my beer-dar. Helps me dar for beers."

"It's not a secret room! It's just hidden… By stuff…"

"Yeah, that's what a secret is!"

"I haven't ever been stabbed before."

"Why is there what I can only hope is strawberry jelly on your face?"

"Oh, yeah, no. I'm pretty sure it's blood."

"You can't hide from me in my own house, fucker!"

"You're a fucker!"

""Oh, so now I'm blind, too, you motherfucker!"

"Why does everyone blame everything on bears?"

"Okay, so for the sake of argument, what if that 'bear' that cut our phone line and just cut out all the power-- What if that bear is waiting for us out in the hallway?"

"What's wrong with this thing? It's just closing!"

"Sorry, bro!"

"Double skill!"

"Ow! Mother… Hubbard!"

"No… They're funny!"

"Moment's gone."

"…But not forgotten."

"No… -Muse-… Don't do it… Stop…"

"Herd of bears."

"Yeah, I've heard of bears."

"I can try to encourage them."

"Go for it! You guys can do it! --it's not working."

"You know that's kind of a movie-only thing, right?"

"I mean, you bang someone on the head you're more likely to kill them or leave them with permanent brain damage… Not just 'knock 'em out.'"

[skadiloki]

Part 1

A/N:Guys I did it! I finally finished the first part of my story. I is proud baby😚. Okay so before you begin reading Ben a.k.a Soldier Boy is a bit OOC I kinda did it on purpose cause we don't really exactly know,at least from the shows standpoint,that he's entirely racist. I feel he's more indifferent towards black people or any person of color as a whole but that's just me. MASSIVE TRIGGER WARNING this does contain sexual assault,some bits of sexual harassment and attempted rape so please be aware. I tried not to be too terribly graphic in order not to trigger myself in a sense but reader discretion advised. If anything like this has happened to anyone and I mean ANYONE please don't pull a me,I held it in for months until I finally told my mother,she never believed me cause she yelled at me,called me a liar and then processed to beat me for it but it is what it is,don't do it. Please seek help,I know it's easier said than done but please please please try. Cause it can def mess with your psyche and we don't want that. If it's too much for you to read that part you can scroll past it,it is long so I'm letting you know now,but other than that I hope you enjoy the first part of the story. I worked really hard so please enjoy it as much as you can. Oh,and for obvi reasons I used my tumblr name and not my real one. Happy reading peeps🤗

Words:6,395

(A'ight so I know Leonard is dead in The Boys franchise but let's pretend for a second that he actually lived after Butcher left for the British military and went to America with him at some point after. So right,I know I'm talkin a lot but hear me out. Butcher and the others,others being M.M,Annie,Hughie,and Soldier Boy need some extra help rightrightright with killing Homelander and shit so they go off to Leonard's house for that extra help. 👀👀 Took me mUuUmmfffs to try and come up with something so let's hope this works. Fingers crossed)

*It was Summer,a normal sunny day,perfect breeze,children playing in sprinklers,people barbecuing in their backyards just having the time of their lives like normal folk. Meanwhile Butcher and the others are in the current safehouse at a standstill contemplating their next move and what they should do in trying to take Homelander down for good*

Annie:We've literally tried everything and still haven't taken down Homelander. And we can't have another Herogasm incident.

M.M:If Soldier Boy couldn't take him out there aren't really any more options we can take here Annie.

Annie:My live should be more than enough to help some.

M.M:Yeah but how is that really going to help us take down Homelander in the long run?

Hughie:Maybe we can ask Frenchie to make something that could temporarily take out Homelander?

M.M:With how much time that we have,that'd be cutting it close Hughie.

Soldier Boy:Then how the hell do you figure we take the caped fuck out,huh?

Butcher:I may have an idea.

M.M:Well don't just sit there in silence motherfucker,tell us.

Butcher:I'm not sure it might even work.

Annie:What even is it Butcher?

Butcher:*Stands up from his chair* Come on you lot. We're goin on a trip.

Hughie:A trip to where?

Butcher:For our secret weapon.

Annie:How do you know this weapon will work Butcher?

Butcher:You just gotta trust me love. Come on.

M.M:Butcher,now isn't the time to fucking pussyfoot around the subject. Tell us what we're walking into man.

Butcher:You're just gonna have to trust me on this M.M. I know it don't sound like nothin but it's better than sittin here on our asses like a bunch of clueless cunts twiddling our goddamn thumbs. Just fuckin trust me yeah? We ain't got no more time to lose.

*Butcher leaves the safehouse while the others just sit there*

Annie:Are you sure we should trust him?

M.M:No,but what other choice do we have at this point? We better go before the bastard ends up killing himself.

Soldier Boy:You really think the limey actually has a weapon that can take out that overgrown pussy?

Hughie:He's the best we've got.

Soldier Boy:So the dumb fuck’s leading us to our deaths? Tch,Christ on a cross. How the fuck do we even know that the limey's not just trying to steer us in the wrong direction?

Annie:We don't. Let's just go. Something is better than nothing at this point.

*The four of them get up and leave the safehouse as well to see this so called “Secret weapon” Butcher spoke of. After a solid two hour and some change drive to Syracuse they pull into the driveway of a lovely two story gray home in a pretty chill community*

(Dis da house)

Hughie:This is your secret weapon? A house.

Butcher:It's not the house itself Hughie,it's what's inside the house.

Hughie:Well what's inside the house?

Butcher:You'll find out once we get it.

*He gets out of the car leaving Hughie there to his own thoughts*

Hughie:I've got a bad feeling about this.

*He gets out the car and stands outside along with the others just staring up at the house*

M.M:Are you sure this is the right place Butcher?

Butcher:Of course it is.

Annie:Is the secret weapon the house or something?

Butcher:No. Would you all just shut up,you're doin me head in with all these fuckin questions. Just come on.

Soldier Boy:How do we even know that there actually is a weapon in there strong enough to take out Homelander?

Butcher:For fuck's sake just trust me alright. *He walks up to the front door with the other cautiously behind him as he knocks on it waiting for someone on the other side to open it. A few moments pass by and the door opens revealing a familiar face* Hey Lenny.

Lenny:No. You need to leave,right now.

Butcher:Len please.

Lenny:Absolutely not. Billy you can't be here. You need to leave.

Soldier Boy:Who the fuck is this cocksucker?

Butcher:Oi! Watch it.

Annie:I'm sorry but who is this Butcher?

Butcher:He's my brother Lenny.

Hughie:Wait,you have a brother?

Butcher:Long story. Len,can we just talk,please?

Lenny:No,absolutely not. You can't just show up after all these years and want to talk. Please leave.

M.M:Hold on,hold on,hold on. Butcher. *He grabs his shoulder to slightly pull him back speaking in a quieter tone* Are you telling me that your brother is this secret weapon you were talking about?

Butcher:No. *Turns back to Lenny* Just gimme a few minutes of your time Len. I won't be long.

Lenny:Why should I even let you waste my time,huh? And for what,for you to run off and do fuck all?

Butcher:Alright now Lenny. I know ain't been in touch with ya in these last few years.

Lenny:No. I don't want to hear the excuses anymore Billy.

Butcher:Len I-

Soldier Boy:Enough of this. *He pushes Butcher aside and walks up to Lenny grabbing him by the collar* Alright now look here you skinny good for nothing pussyass scared bitch. We ain't got the time for your bitching and moaning,we're here for-

*Annie steps in between the three,separating Soldier Boy from Lenny and Butcher gets in his face*

Annie:Whoa,whoa everyone calm down!

Butcher:Put your fuckin hands on ‘im again and I'll fucking kill ya.

Soldier Boy:*Scoffs* Is that so? I'd love to see you fucking try.

Annie:Both of you stop it! This isn't what we're here for. Calm down before you start something you can't finish. I am not willing to put this whole neighborhood in danger because of you two and your dick measuring contest. There are bigger problems here that we need to solve and you both getting hostile and being at each other's throats won't help us get any closer to where we need to be.

M.M:Annie's right,now's not the time and it sure as hell ain't the damn place. *He moves past them,Soldier Boy and Butcher now taking their glare-off off of the front step,while he speaks with Lenny* Look,I don't know what Butcher did to you in the past to ensure your wrath. I'm sure his dumbass deserves it anyway.

Butcher:Hey!

M.M:But whatever the issue may be between the two of you is,we need your help Lenny.

Lenny:Why should I trust you?

M.M:You probably shouldn't but we have no other choice. Lives are at stake here,and we need all the help we can get. We wouldn't have come here if it wasn't a life or death. Thousands if not millions of lives are at risk and we need all the help that we can get. You can help us possibly save the country if you just hear us out,even if it's just a moment. I won't beg,I won't grovel. It's all up to you. If you want us to leave we can,we'll all get back in our cars and we'll head back to New York and you'll never have to see us again. Or you can just give us a few moments of your time to try and help us take down one of the most dangerous superheroes possibly in history.

Lenny:How do I know you'll keep your word?

M.M:You don't but this is all you got.

Lenny:*Sigh* Fine.

M.M:Thank you.

*Lenny steps aside for them to enter the house,watching them file in before shutting the door behind Hughie*

Lenny:I have water if you want something to drink.

Butcher:*Lays a hand on Lenny's shoulder* Thanks Len.

Lenny:Don't get too comfortable Billy. I'm still upset at you. *He brushes Butcher's hand off his shoulder and walks into the kitchen and sits at the table after kindly offering the others water bottles* So why'd you come? What do you want?

Annie:Butcher said something about a s-

Butcher:Where's Skađi?

Lenny:Why?

Butcher:Cause I ain't seen the little tyke since she was a girl.

Lenny:I don't think that's a good idea Billy. Especially how you left things last time.

Hughie:What happened last time?

Butcher:Another story for another time.

Lenny:Didi's not here right now.

Butcher:Where is she?

Lenny:And why is that any of your concern?

M.M:Butcher you're getting off topic here.

Hughie:I thought we were here for this-

Butcher:Do you know where she is?

Lenny:Yes,why? What does she have to do with possibly saving the country or whatever?

M.M:Wait a second. You mentioned something about a “secret weapon” being here Butcher.

Lenny:Secret weapon? What secret weapon?

Soldier Boy:Are you saying we came all this way for nothing?

Butcher:No.

Lenny:*Sighs while pinching the bridge of his nose* Look,I don't know what Billy's been telling you all but there's no secret weapon here. At least none that I know of.

Butcher:Thus my question as to where Skađi is.

Annie:Does this Skadi pe-

Lenny:Skađi,ah sound.

Annie:Sorry. Skadi? Skađi. *Lenny nods* Does she know about it?

Lenny:If she does it's news to me. She still wouldn't like the fact that you're here Billy. You'd be the last bloke she'd ever want to see.

Hughie:Why did something happen?

Lenny:I don't know. *He glares at Butcher and says incredulously* Did something happen William?

Butcher:*Holds his hands up in defense* Alright,alright there's no need for that Len.

M.M:Butcher what the fuck is going on here? Who the hell is Skađi and what's the reason for this whole back and forth thing between you and him?

Butcher:It's funny you mentioned that M.M ca-

*The sound of the front door being unlocked and open catches everyone's attention then the sound of a deepish husky voice (Imma deep voice girly) talking on the phone*

Man,fuck him. Girl if he was willing to cheat on a fine bitch like you then his ass didn't deserve you in the first place. That nigga ain't worth your tears. Trust me,I've been down that road many times. Well the useless crying that is but you get what I mean.

Lenny:*Laughs* Speak of the devil. (Wink wink) *Shouts* Hi Didi.

Hold on. *I pull away from my phone and shout back* Hi dad! *I go back to my conversation* Okay,what were you saying?

*I continue on my way to my room passing by the kitchen*

Annie:Was that her?

Lenny:It was.

Hughie:If she knows where the weapon is then we need her to tell us where it is.

Lenny:Why would she even know where this supposed “secret weapon” is anyway? Putting her in a room with Billy is spellin trouble.

M.M:If it's to help. We'll take what we can.

Lenny:Ehhh~~ I don't think you want that.

Annie:Please Lenny this would mean the world to us if she could help us.

Lenny:*Shrug* Alright don't say I didn't warn ya. Skađi,come here sweetheart.

Just a second!

Lenny:You lot have fun.

*He gets up from his seat and moves to the opposite side of the kitchen*

Soldier Boy:Why the fuck did you move all the way over there?

Lenny:Oh don't mind me.

*Five or so minutes go by and I walk out of my room*

Where ya at my guy?

Lenny:The kitchen.

Guuch. *I make my way into the kitchen* So whatcha ne-

*Upon stepping into the kitchen and making eye contact with Butcher stops me dead in my tracks*

Butcher:Hello love. Look at how you've grown,almost didn't even recognize ya.

*I scoff then start chuckling which turns into loud boisterous cynical laughter*

Hughie:Oh,so she's happy to see you.

Lenny:*Mumbles* I wouldn't say that.

*I place a hand on my chest,standing up straight,and suddenly full back. That obviously makes Annie and M.M jump up to attempt to catch me but a sudden black hole opens up on the floor and I fall into it and that confused the all hell out of them*

M.M:What in the fuck?

Annie:Butcher wh-

*I appear out of nowhere,gun in hand right under Butcher's chin,growling*

Give me one goddamn reason I shouldn't kill you right fucking now?!

*Soldier Boy pulls his gun along with M.M pointing at me and Annie has her hands up with her eyes glowing ready to strike*

Butcher:I know you're angry.

Angry? Oh,I've pushed past the point of anger. Enraged,infuriated,irked,pissed even.

Soldier Boy:You pull that trigger and I blow your brains out dollface. And I'd hate to ruin such a pretty face.

*I raise an eyebrow at him*

Soldier Boy:Your choice.

Sit.

Soldier Boy:*Cocks his gun* The fuck did you say to me?

I said *My voice distorts almost demonically and I look directly at him* Sit.

*Soldier Boy,M.M,and Annie all sit unconsciously against their wills*

Annie:The hell?

(Oof,homegurl almost forgot. You know we out here with the demonic powers as always,I stay the strongest character in mah shit…But anyway there are Bayonetta undertones in here,first time I've ever done that before,excited. Some Dune too cause The Voice,right? And some Jujutsu Kaisen cause why the fuck not. I know it sounds weird but knowin my ass,oh it'll work. I'll stop)

*I look back to Butcher*

I'm still waitin on an answer.

Butcher:Cause we're family.

*Sarcastically* Oh,so we're family now. That's rich.

Hughie:Wait Butcher,who is this girl?

Butcher:Skađi here is my niece.

M.M:She's your what?!

Soldier Boy:There's no fucking way she could be your niece.

Adopted but niece nonetheless. But saying that would be insulting and going against my word. Why the fuck are you here William?

Butcher:We need your help.

Not interested. Fuck off.

Butcher:It's for the greater good love. You can't just say no and fuck off.

Watch me bitch. *I cock the gun in my hand* I'll see your bitchass in the afterlife.

Lenny:Now Skađi.

You know he deserves it dad.

Lenny:I get it but let's just hear him out.

Hear him out? For fuckin what?

Lenny:Said something about a secret weapon?

Secret weapon? What secret fu- *I think for a second then cackle* Oh you arrogant pharisaic son of a bitch! You think you can just come back into our lives after what you've done? *Growl* I will not be used as a weapon!

M.M:She's the secret weapon you were talking about?

Butcher:Yeah,more or less.

Lenny:You were going to use your own niece as a weapon to kill Homelander?! What the hell is wrong with you Billy!

Annie:Wait,you're a Supe?

In the flesh.

Butcher:In my defense

Fuck your defense. That's not a fucking excuse to use someone you called family William. But knowing you I wouldn't put it beneath you.

Butcher:In my defense it seemed like a good idea at the time.

Why cause you're desperate and fucked?

Butcher:That's just putting it lightly.

God,if dad wasn't here I'd shoot you then I'd revive you just to have Avavago eat you alive!

Hughie:Avawhat?

My demonic pet dragon. Avavago.

M.M:I ain't never heard of a Supe with demonic powers before.

Well there's a first for everything. *I put the safety on the gun and pull back from Butcher* You should be grateful you're still alive. Next time you won't be so lucky. I'm going back to my room. Looking at you makes my skin crawl.

Butcher:At least hear me out Di.

No,fuck you and ya life existence.

Butcher:If you don't help us Homelander may kill us all.

Why the fuck should I care?

Butcher:Because you have a heart.

That may be true but that doesn't mean I'd extend my kindness to you after what you did to me. I will never forgive you for what you've done.

M.M:I'm not one to poke in family affairs outside my own but you've got us curious. Just what has Butcher done that makes you hate him so much?

Lenny and I:Why don't you tell them William.

Butcher:Way to gang up on me you two.

Annie:Butcher.

Butcher:Piss off. It ain't none of your business.

Hughie:We have a right to know.

Butcher:And what makes you think I'd tell you cunts about our little family issue,huh?

Annie:Because you were going to use your own niece as a weapon. You owe us that much Butcher.

Butcher:A thing happened at work a few years back.

Oh Jesus,don't sugarcoat it. Tell them the truth or I will. And if I do,they sure as hell ain't gonna like it.

Soldier Boy:Quit being a bitch about it. So he hurt your feelings,you're so goddamn emotional. All women are but this is a whole new fucking level. Christ on a cross,get over it.

“Get over it” he says. *I pull down the neck of my shirt showing off three wounds near my heart* You remember these?

Butcher:*His eyebrows furrow as he sighs heavily* Skađi.

So you do remember. Consider me shocked. I would've thought you repressed that memory into the back of your mind *Venomously* Billy.

Hughie:You shot her?

Annie:But those should've healed,you're a Supe.

I didn't have a grasp on my powers yet so I didn't heal properly. I don't enjoy the memory but I'd rather save my breath. *I fix my shirt then pull out a chair plopping myself in it* Why don't we show them instead,hm? *I,purposely,smack Butcher in the side of the head,grab at what seems to be his temple then pull back bringing a strip of film,revealing a string of memories* Let's go back eleven years.

Hughie:What in the fuck?! How are you doing that?

It's a part of my powers. (It's a One Piece thing. Forgot about that undertone,but it's just this one thing that Pudding is able to do with her Memo Memo devilfruit) *I do the same thing to myself,without the aggressive slapping and handling,and scroll back an entire decade to one specific memory*

Butcher:(The names and memories will be italicized in apostrophes,I prefer it over quotes in things like this don't know why just do. Back to the story) ‘Alright ya little tyke. You stay here and you work on your school work,I got a meeting that'll probably be the death of me.’

*Giggle* ‘I'm sure it won't be that bad Uncle Billy.’

Butcher:‘You keep tellin yourself that love. Just wait until you're old enough to have to deal with these cunts and I bet you won't be saying that.’

‘Dad said you're not allowed to say that around me.’

Butcher:‘Your dad's not here now is he? Keep it a secret and I'll buy you whatever you want.’

‘Whatever I want?’

Butcher:‘Oh yeah. I'll buy you a whole candy store if you want.’

‘Buy me a PS2 and those two nerf guns I want and you've got a deal. Oh! Games included.’

Butcher:*Pinches my cheek* ‘Cheeky little blighter. You be a good girl for me.’

*Bright smile* ‘Okay.’

Butcher:*Chuckles*

Soldier Boy:Looks like some sappy bullshit to me.

Shut up and watch.

*He immediately stops talking and pays attention to the memories. Ten or so minutes pass by,while in Butcher's memory he's still in the meeting,and in mine two large men enter the room making me look up from my work and pause my music*

‘Oh,uh hello.’

Agent:‘Wow,you're prettier than I thought.’

*A bit awkward* ‘Thanks,I guess.’

Agent 2:‘How old are you sweetie?’

*Guarded* ‘Why?’

Agent:‘Just curious. You look maybe 17,18.’

‘No.’

Agent 2:‘You're younger. Who would've thought a sixteen year old would look as beautiful as you. You surely don't look your age sweetheart,certainly not with a body like that you don't.’

*I shift uncomfortably* ‘I think I'm going to…um see Miss Angelica.’ *I start packing my things* ‘Excuse me.’

*As I step from my place and walk towards the door one agent stops me*

Agent:‘Where are you going? We just want to talk.’

*I brush him off of me* ‘Please don't touch me. I need to leave.’

Agent 2:*He harshly grabs my arm* ‘Why rush? The fun's just getting started.’

‘I said get off of me!’

*I tear my arm from his grasp then kick him in the groin then sock him in the face then making a break for the door only for the other agent to grab me by my hair to yank me back*

Agent:‘You little bitch!’

*Scream* ‘Let me go! Uncle Billy!’

Agent 2:*Gets up* ‘Ugh,you little shit. You'll pay for that you fucking whore.’

Agent:*Pulls my head back by my hair and kisses my neck* ‘You taste so good.’

*Begging* ‘Let me go! Please!’

Agent:‘Nuh-uh.’ *Starts groping at me and chuckles evilly* ‘So soft.’

‘Stop it! Get off of me! Somebody he-’

Agent 2:*Grabs me by my face to silence me* ‘Not today sweetheart.’ *Tears my shirt off and licks his lips* ‘We're going to have fun with you.’

*I bite his hand and claw at the other agent's eyes that's holding me and try to make a run for the door. When I open the door and attempt to scream,my head gets hit against the wall to disorient me and I get dragged back and the door gets slammed*

Agent:‘You're a feisty one aren't ya?’ *He takes off his belt and wraps it around my wrists then he takes off his tie to gag me with* ‘We'll definitely have fun with you.’

*I protest against them as they touch and prod at me,putting their filthy hands in places they shouldn't. I try my best to resist but nothing really works,as the tears roll down my cheeks I scream against the makeshift gag in hopes that someone would hear me. This goes on for several moments,moments that feel like an eternity to me,until it didn't. The second agent pulls me down to the edge of the table by my leg and tries to do the unthinkable*

Agent 2:*Groans* ‘All this foreplay has made me hard. I'm betting you can fix that sweetheart.’ *He unfastens his pants and pulls out his cock stroking the hard pulsing flesh moaning at the sensation* ‘I'm going to ruin you for any other man in your life. You'll be begging me to make you cum then just when you've had enough I'll just keep on going until you forget your own fucking name.’

*I fight furiously against the one holding me down but he proves to be too strong. The man standing before me easily tears the fabric of my leggings off followed by my underwear*

Agent 2:‘God you're such a filthy little whore. Sweet little virgins like you,feisty ones especially,deserve punishment. By the time we're done with you,you'll be our perfect little cumslut. All battered,bruised and fucking obedient.’

*Once he gets close enough to attempt to shove his dick inside of me,something in my mind shatters suddenly causing a mysterious,yet gigantic silky black scaled claw to emerge from the floor grabbing the man and pulling him into the abyss*

Agent:*Draws his gun* ‘What in the fuck!’

*He starts firing at the claw but it does nothing. The sound of loud gunfire obviously draws the attention of others,Butcher being a part of them thankfully,or so I thought,bursting into the room just to see the poor man get dragged down into darkness and the claw vanishing as if it never even existed. From seeing my obvious disheveled look both Angelica,the kind lady who often gives me treats when I come in,and another agent who I found out was named Susan rush over to me to untie me and frantically check me of any other injuries I may have obtained*

Angelica:*Holding my face as she turns it in every which direction to check for other injuries* ‘Oh my God. Sweetheart,are you alright?!’

*An endless stream of tears just flow down my cheeks as I sob,speaking brokenly as hiccups and gasps rack my body*

Th-They t-t-tried to-to…r-rape m-m-me. I-I-I-I w-was d-doi-doing…h-h-home…homework wh-when they

Susan:Sh,sh,sh. You're alright now. You're safe. Let's get you something to put on,hm?

*I nod as she takes off her suit jacket to put around my shoulders soothingly rubbing my back to try and calm me from that traumatic event. Butcher,standing there in pure shock at what he just witnessed. He wasn't even sure if he was seeing things or not but his mind was on autopilot when he drew his gun and pulled the trigger,shooting me three times in the heart. Angelica and Susan scream as I hit the floor now bleeding*

Susan:‘Billy what the fuck! What's wrong with you?’

Angelica:‘Who in the fuck shoots their own niece!’

Susan:‘Call an ambulance Angelica,I'll try and stop the bleeding.’

*Angelica nods and gets up to try and run out of the room but Butcher stops her*

Butcher:‘Fuckin leave her.’

Angelica:*She's shocked at first but then her shock turns to anger* ‘You can't be fucking serious! She's dying because you shot her!’

Butcher:‘She's a fucking supe. You saw what she done to that poor cunt.’

Susan:‘Why does that matter Butcher? You saw the state she was in,you fucking heard her they tried to rape her,if anything he and whoever else fucking deserved it!’

Butcher:‘Bullocks! The bastards deserved to have thier asses fired and prosecuted for trying to take advantage of her,right enough,but they didn't deserve whatever the fuck that was.’

Angelica:‘That doesn't fucking matter!’ *She shoves him out of the way* ‘That's not a fucking excuse to shoot her in the fucking heart Billy!’

*She runs out of the room to get paramedics on the phone to take me to the hospital to try and save me. The memories abruptly stop and the film stripes return back to their rightful places. The others are completely left in shock,even Soldier Boy was shocked,and shocking a man like him with his attitude is quite the feat to achieve*

That's when I first discovered my powers. Avavago saved my life.

Annie:That's awful. I'm so sorry that happened to you.

I've had to relive that nightmare for years before I finally went to therapy and healed. But all of a sudden you *I point to Butcher* show up after all these years to try and fucking use me as some trump card to take down that psychotic fuck you call Homelander.

Butcher:Well what else would you have me do Skađi?

*My already ruby red eyes turn a dark shade of crimson as I bare my fangs at him hissing*

I was fucking thirteen! I'd expect you have some fucking decency to see if I was alright! Not shoot me in the fucking chest! Two grown ass men sexually harassed and assaulted me then tried to rape me all because I was a fuckin early bloomer. The fuck kind of sense does that make Butcher! (I was actually a semi-late bloomer and it was actually my half brother who did that to me. The attempted rape part didn't happen but everything else did,not in the way I described it,but it did really happen when I was thirteen…in my grandparents basement) I cried and begged for help. For you to come and save me,yet instead of feeling safe with the presence of you,Angelica and Susan after that disgusting fuck pulled out his gun and fired at Avavago you fucking shot me! The one man whom I thought was family turned his back on me and wanted me dead.

Butcher:You turned into a Supe. You think I-

Lenny:That didn't give you the right to shoot her Billy.

Butcher:Oh come off it. You're the wanker that gave ‘er Compound V. If there's anyone here to blame it's you Lenny for adopting a baby Supe.

Would you rather I have died?

Butcher:I would have preferred Lenny to not adopt a fucking supe. Like are you kidding me?

I was never injected with Compound V as a baby.

Hughie:You were never injected as a baby with Compound V?

Butcher:What a load of shit.

Lenny:She wasn't.

Butcher:*Taken aback but skeptical* There's no fucking way. No cunt that's a Supe would get injected as a teenager. It's never been tested.

Annie:Butcher is right. Injecting a teen with Compound V is unheard of.

I was eight when they did it.

M.M:But why?

I was born with a heart defect. Atrial Septal Defect or ASD for short. (Which is true) I was diagnosed with it at seven months old.

Hughie:What's that? The ASD,I mean.

It's a defect of when the hole in your heart doesn't close over time. When you're born you actually have a small hole in your heart that will close over time as you get older,mine didn't. I was in and out of the hospital a lot for this condition to try and figure out what to do. I was in foster care during the whole thing,sure my mother was still involved at the time when it was all going down but that doesn't matter. (I am not adopted,although I wish I were cause my mother fucking hated me,still does to this day she just never told me then that she did until I was nineteen when she told me she never wanted me in the first place but she chose to keep me anyway. I'll fucking stop cause this is no time to get fucking emotional. -July 31st,2024 3:11am My ass needs to be asleep) I went to the doctors for years trying to figure this out,dad was in the process of adopting me in that time. The solution was to get surgery done to try and fix the issue and that's when the idea of Compound V came into play.

Hughie:Did it work? Was your ASD fixed?

Lenny:No. She still had to go to Detroit in order to get the surgery done. As you saw the V didn't kick in until she was thirteen.

Annie:Wait,do you still have the ASD?

Not technically,no.

Soldier Boy:The fuck is that supposed to mean? How the fuck would that even be possible for you to not technically still have whatever the fuck that is?

Atrial Septal Defect. It's been corrected,I have a small piece of metal where the hole is in my heart. (Which is also very much true) So in a sense I do still have it,it's just been corrected.

Annie:And you're saying you could've died if it wasn't corrected?

Yes. (That's not entirely true,it is a possibility but without it being corrected the person with it can and will live a bit of a harder life because with ASD it causes your heart to skip beats,which is fucking painful by the way especially paired with SVT…another story for another time but back to what I was saying,yes it can be hard living an adult life with an uncorrected ASD but yes you can ultimately die from an untreated hole in the heart in the end)

Annie:That's awful.

I'm alive and that's all that matters.

Butcher:Look,I'm sorry for what I did to you back then okay? But we need your help more than ever.

You're sorry? You're fucking sorry! After you fucking shot me,you never came back! It took you eleven years to come back after that to finally say you're sorry after you shot me and practically left me for dead and disowned me then dad for making a life saving decision. Why the fuck should I forgive you when I have every fucking right to hate you until the day you fucking die?

Butcher:Cause it's the right thing to do.

Oh that's rich coming from yo stankass. Miss me with that bullshit. You're only here cause you want to use me as a weapon. If I didn't have V running in my veins you wouldn't be here right now Butcher.

Butcher:Just help us out on this,yeah,then you and Len don't got to see me no more.

You don't deserve my help. Fuck you. I'm going back to my room.

*I leave the kitchen to walk back to my room*

Butcher:Lenny.

Lenny:She's made her mind. You've outstayed your welcome Billy. You and your friends need to leave.

Annie:There has to be a way to convince you to get her to help us. Please,we need her help.

Lenny:You'll have to convince her. She's the one with the powers.

M.M:How do we get out of the chairs if she practically forced us to sit in them? We're stuck.

Lenny:She did force you true enough but that's not how her powers work exactly.

Hughie:How do you figure?

Lenny:If Di told him *He points to Soldier Boy* to shut up and watch and yet he's able to talk right now. How do you think it works?

M.M:So it's only temporary?

Lenny:*Shrug* I don't know how it works exactly but you're free to move as you please now.

*As if on cue,surprisingly,Soldier Boy gets up to chase after me. Without knowing the layout of the house he easily gets lost,I roll my eyes at the slamming of different doors*

Oh sweet Jesus. *I get up from my bed and open my door,leaning against the door frame* If you're going to look for me the least you could do is at least call out to me instead of slamming every door in the house. It's annoying to hear doors halfway across the house slamming with a mighty boom,shut.

Soldier Boy:*Chuckles* You are much prettier up close and personal. It's hard not to try and control myself in the presence of such a gorgeous woman even as a black woman.

Wow,as if that wasn't the slightest bit microaggressive. What do you want Soldier Boy?

Soldier Boy:You know me?

I've heard of you. Dad spoke of you a few times and I've seen a picture.

Soldier Boy:I ain't gonna sugarcoat it for you sweetheart.

Skađi.

Soldier Boy:Whatever. What happened to you was downright awful. No woman should ever have to go through with that,those pussies were nothing but little boys. A real man would treat his woman with respect even if she was a little girl. A girl's place-

Okay lemme stop you right there. Are you actually going somewhere with this lecture of what,gender role,somewhat potential misogynistic spiel of yours or are you gonna cut to the chase my guy?

Soldier Boy:Well don't you got a smart mouth.

Apologies,afraid that's genetics. Can't help it not that I personally would in this current situation but do continue.

Soldier Boy:I'm surprised no one has smacked that mouth of yours let alone your ass.

And I'm surprised they let a man like you walk the earth with your close minded ideologies. Shouldn't you be in a nursing home,old man?

Soldier Boy:Look ya little piece of shit. We need your help,put your bullshit aside and think about the shit that could happen if that fucker roams free.

Why should I help you? I don't know you like that.

Soldier Boy:If you fucking think for a goddamn second then you'd be putting people in unnecessary danger. Think of that awkward pussy in the kitchen. I don't know how someone like him could adopt someone like you.

First of all that's rude and a tad bit underlyingly racist,second that's my dad and his name is Leonard. Skip to the point gramps.

Soldier Boy:*Groans in slight irritation* Think of it this way dollface-

Again my name is Skađi.

Soldier Boy:Think of it this way. If your…dad,was in danger would you not do something to save him?

Of course I would.

Soldier Boy:Now think about it when you put Homelander in the picture. He'd be putting him in immense danger and that's clearly the last thing you want right?

Yes.

Soldier Boy:Then you can help us with this one thing then you can go the fuck about your life when it's done,alright?

What makes you think I'll accept?

Soldier Boy:You will or you won't,doesn't matter to me but you know good and damn well you wouldn't let anything happen to that Lenny guy and if something did you probably wouldn't be able to live it down. Make the choice sweetie cause we don't have all day.

A/N:Holy fuck that was a shitton of copying and pasting😮‍💨 but that's the end of the first part. Yay! I know you saw a specific word in the story,like I said in the little preview of the story I cuss a lot myself and that word,don't try and argue with me 'bout it cause you'll just get proved wrong,is literally something I say cause it's just so natural to me and I just grew up around people who said it. And cussing can be genetic so there's that. But leave a comment and a like...please🥺 if you want to read more. Share with your friends if you wanna.

@tarjapearce

[rocketboots564]

Teen Wolf Season 1 (from a first time watcher)

Okay, I did this for another series (Red vs. Blue) and I DESPERATELY want to do it for this.

This is basically my thoughts/notes/critiques of Teen Wolf season 1 as someone watching it for the first time. Please enjoy and take it with a grain of salt:

I could tell this show EXUDED 2010’s energy when I witnessed with my very own eyes and ears a DUBSTEP WEREWOLF BATTLE

Guys, if you had told me there’d be dubstep werewolf battles I would’ve watched it YEARS ago… OPEN UP WITH THAT! (Note: I am not the biggest fan of dubstep, however watching Derek and Scott beat the hell out of each other while it blares is an experience I never knew I needed)

Its music is so nostalgically 2010’s it comes off as “so bad it’s good” in a way.

I love it even though I occasionally cringe

Don’t know if this is an unpopular opinion, but Scott McCall was kinda boring in this season.

NOW BEFORE YOU JUMP ME! Scott has insane highs and simmering lows, but the highs are mostly in the beginning of s1 and the last 4-5 episodes where he SHINES.

I mean it, he went from a B to an A-tier character those last few episodes

But, the other characters were just so much more… flavorful. Like Stiles?! I LOVED every second Stiles is on screen.

On the topic of Stiles… I will be talking about how much bisexual energy this show has. Because it’s A LOT. You guys were NOT kidding about that.

It’ll probably be a repost of this or its own thing.

Honestly, and you’re gonna hate me for this, but Scott and Derek kinda act like love interests in a smutty, poorly written YA novel–BUT! It’s a bit endearing.

But also tell me you can’t see it.

I mean like, Scott’s answer to suppressing his transformation ends up being “his love for Allison” like a good 60-70% of the time.

Time to talk about Lydia. I started off HATING Lydia for like the first 1.5 episodes. I hated her snarky, mean-girl, wannabe Regina George ass at first… at first…

But, I took a step back and thought to myself:

“The pipeline from Supernatural to this show is surprisingly close… which means one of many things: they’re gonna give her massive character development and make me not only feel bad for her, but make me love her so much she becomes a favorite of mine.”

Lo and behold… you’ll never guess who my second favorite character is?

Lydia… right under Stiles where she belongs. He’s just that good

Can we please PLEASE talk about how unprofessional the Teachers are in this school! LIKE WHAT THE HELL?!

First of all, there’s the coach, which sure, he cuts corners, and can be a very questionable motivator (please don’t reward your students with an A for doing something that has nothing to do with their educational prowess. Nor should you tease them thinking it’ll motivate them. Positive reinforcement works people.)

HOWEVER… the Chemistry teacher? OOOHHH IF THERES ANY BITCH I WANNA SMACK ITS HIS ASS

How are you gonna sit there, and actively berate and insult your students, and expect good things from them.

And then, on top of all of that, YOU HAVE TO AUDACITY, to withhold information that connects you to the Hale fire?! OOOOH PETER I’LL JUMP HIS ASS WITH YOU.

Adrian Harris, you are an unprofessional, ignorant, arrogant slob unfit to teach goddamn preschoolers. (Granted, I’m while watching season 2 right now… and my hate for him has only swelled)

Speaking of Peter, I don’t think he’s the real villain of this season. He definitely is a villain, and a main one at that. But the biggest bad here?

That title goes to the woman I wanna see get the electric chair: MOTHERFUCKING KATE ARGENT

I will make my own post on Kunt Argent, analyzing this VILE woman, and why Jill Wagner plays her PERFECTLY. (Seriously she made a villain that makes my blood boil. 10/10 acting and writing)

I’ll also probably talk about Allison and what I love about her in that too because it’s important.