#even though she also recognizes that it SUCKS especially for the doctor

[regenderate]

i am currently consumed with the idea that ten didn't give rose a choice at the end of journey's end because it would have killed him if she'd chosen to go with tentoo

[thegeminisage]

ok it's star trek update time. once again. i've fallen behind 💀 tuesday we did voy's "the cloud" and "phage" (out of order bc plex numbered them incorrectly/user error), wednesday we did ds9's "dentiny" and voy's "eye of the needle," and last night we watched ds9's "prohphet motive" and voy's "ex post facto."

the cloud (voy):

man this one sucked ass

well, i did like janeway's personal log. i love women getting to have the same normal problems a man would. i like janeway a lot, even if she still feels a bit stiff to me sometimes

actually, WAIT, why is the academy TEACHING captains they need to maintain a certain distance? like sure yes it's a bad idea to fuck your subordinates (even though picard said there was NO?? regulation on that...) but surely you're supposed to like. care about them. between this and deanna winning the kobayashi maru by killing geordi i'm starting to wonder if starfleet expects captains to simply not CARE about people. there's something larger at work in my brain re: this thought, like, kirk was always going on missions himself to protect people despite that putting him greater danger, and now they don't want captains to leave the chair or care about people...hell universe. and since picard never left the chair or cared about anyone it may have made for good policy but it made for BAD tv

ANYWAY.

accidentally got spoiled for neelix being the cook bc of reverse ep order lol

tom paris once again insufferable bc he's like dont invite the captain to poker night or whatever. for a rebellious felon he's really toeing that starfleet line. also, the LAST thing in the world i want is more holodeck but ESPECIALLY if i have to watch tom paris make out with realfake holo women on it. HOLO PEOPLE ARE ALIVE YOU FOOLS

i thought this episode was gonna be about coffee and it wasn't :( it was just a few jokes here and there

the nebula plot was stupid. you ram a hole in it and you're gonna fix it by ramming more holes? neelix is the only mfer that gets it. that said, i DO support women's rights to ram ill-advised things through holes - whenever, however, and as often as they like.

chakotay teaching janeway to find her animal guide (complete with the medicine bundle...) being played TOTALLY straight and serious just about ended me. like i knew they werent gonna be like "haha just kidding you are a REALLY gullible white person" at the end but watching them not do that was really really awful

harry kim just casually dropping he remembers being in the womb. alright.

janeway muting the doc when he is trying to speak :( holo-racist

i do like that firstly harry was like fuck tom paris im inviting janeway and secondly that she can play pool really well. those were nice touches. the non-racist janeway stuff was good! i just wish the rest of the episode had been good too lol

phage (voy):

i liked this one MUCH better. first of all, neelix in the cave about to get his lungs stolen very "mistew obama pwease hewp me" core. then perish. rip in pieces poor neelix :(

secondly, what an interesting ethical dilemma...can you kill a person to save a person? not in starfleet ig but if i was janeway i would have been real tempted. neelix is great

kes giving up one of her lungs to neelix was so sweet, actually. kes has grown on me a HUGE amount in a very very short time. i absolutely love her kindness, which was boring at first because i didn't really feel like she was being kind in a way that stood out from any run of the mill compassionate character. but her scenes with the doctor bring out the best in both of them, i think - like, he kicks her out initially, and then asks her to stay because he's in over his head. and rather than dismissing him she stays and asks if he wants to unionize. the fact that she's DETERMINED to treat him as a fully realized person when he doesn't even treat himself that way...she recognizes unmet needs and works to fix them, just because that's who she is. AUGH she's such a good personnn she;s gonna make a GREAT doctor

lung stealing aliens are way cooler than the slaver aliens even if they are horrible to look at. i LOVE how mad janeway got at them. she was like if i EVER see you again its on sight and i believe her. and she scared them so good they fixed neelix <3 kinda goes to show compassion wins...and that kind of compassion/adherence to morals in the face of personal loss and righteous anger IS a kirk move honorific. and winning because of those qualities is a kirk move. ugh i like janeway so much

"one day i'll surprise you mister tuvok" i love them. wah. tuvok reminds me SO much of spock...he's got that eyebrow thing happening

also, neelix getting his lungs removed totally makes this the spiritual sequel to spock's brain

destiny (ds9):

the whole time i was watching this i felt like sokka in that one atla episode. "can your science prove why it rains" core. like just because there are three cardassians and some river went somewhere...it's especially galling to me that kira buys into it completely. i always forget she's religious, and she's so SMART i didn't think she'd get caught up in the prophecy of it all.

recited the 35th rule of acquisition alongside quark which felt. bad. i still haven't forgiven him but i'm trying

cardassian lady accidentally flirting with obrien was EXTREMELY funny. that's twice now he's banged his head on the ceiling and it's incredibly charming

kira and sisko being buddies 🥺 kira like it's had to work for space jesus!!! so true girl. though she literally was sleeping with a space priest. their bits were sooo good though, you can FEEL how much he doesn't want the enormity of his role, and how much kira believes in him - and i personally get the sense it's because she's SEEN him work. like she believes in him on a professional level, as well, because he ALWAYS has her back. man i would totally believe he was space jesus too who can blame her he's amazing

i did at least like the rational explanation for the prophecies- that nonlinear aliens simply just tell people things. i do wonder why they can't just knock on the wormhole and ask those guys some questions, though

anyway, firmly mid. normally i love kira-heavy episodes but i just had such a hard time not going full sokka in this one. sorry, kira!

eye of the needle (voy):

THIS ONE BLEW MY TITS CLEAN OFF!! best voyager episode yet imho

firstly we are still sending things through holes. fantastic.

also, kes went from "eh she is boring" to "i would die for her" at warp speed......her scenes with the doctor are all SO good. kes recognizing his humanity when most people in starfleet don't know holograms are alive/don't care that holograms are alive, when HE HIMSELF does not think of himself as being alive...mwah. david cage wishes. it feels like an inverse of the data situation, because data WANTED to be alive but struggled to fit in with humanity, whereas the doctor didn't give two shits about being treated like a real person until kes started talking to him about it, and would in fact fit in effortlessly with "real people" were he not confined to the medbay.

and the doctor's bitterness! no one speaks directly to him despite asking him to function as an entire medical staff. no one remembers to turn him off, leaving him to suffer through hours of boredom, or people turn him off when he isn't ready, leading to problems with his experiments. and the existential dread of being abandoned on the ship alone while everyone else potentially transports home through the wormhole...and someone potentially forgetting to deactivate him first.

i really like how janeway reacted to the news that the doctor might be alive. she was like "girl no way" and then kes was like "yes way" and she decided to investigate herself rather than be dismissive about it. she was very good in this episode overall but i like that she showed compassion to someone/something she wasn't even sure was alive. it was very siskocore of her.

and finally...that sweet a-plot. letswatchstartrek, my least favorite website that is absolute essential to my functioning, GAVE THIS A TWO. because "well it's season 1 we all know they aren't getting home this episode." those fucking idiots, that's WHY this episode is good!! it's about hope. do they understand nothing

like, everyone trying SO HARD to curb their expectations at first because the wormhole is so small and so decayed and the absolute MOST they can hope for is to get a message through...the agony of the wormhole going back to where they need to be but them not being able to get through and the only person picking up the phone being a FUCKING romulan who think they're prank calling him

and the way that like this predicament utterly humanizes everyone involved. janeway answering the phone in her nightgown. asking about this romulan's family. the barriers between starfleet and romulus breaks down instantly under the shared connection of being adrift without one's family. what a perfect illustration of the compassion one can have for strangers because deep down even aliens are made of the same stuff as we are.

and then of course by the end janeway is like it doesn't matter! secrecy doesn't matter! let's have hope for a minute let's believe this will work! and then IT DOESN'T WORK. or, actually, what's worse is that it could work, they could theoretically go back to the alpha quadrant 20 years ago, but it will fuck everything up if they do, and they can't even prevent themselves from getting stuck out here. all they can do is send the romulan home with their messages and then..........

............have no idea if he found a way to send them before he died ahead of schedule. like. ALL THEY HAVE IS HOPE. like of COURSE you know theyre not gonna get home in season 1 but THAT IS WHAT MAKES IT INSANE.

also, hi, b'elanna not having anyone at home who cares if she lives or dies...this retroactively makes chakotay's protectiveness of her so much more meaningful. everyone who loves her is already on this ship :( aaaagggh

prophet motive (ds9):

god this one sucked so bad. rare L for ds9 and a major one at that

i spent most of it googling whether or not people actually liked the ferengi episodes (to my dismey: yes, people on reddit think they're funny), but i also spent some time googling how many more episodes we had to suffer through this grand nagus bullshit (4) and getting my little guys stolen on chess.

i have been wanting to see the wormhole aliens again FOREVER and wondered why you can't just go and talk to them and then they show up in this of all places...they so nicely let people go through their wormhole and then this dude disrespectfully bothers them...

also, to SELL an orb back to the bajorans...i hope he dies. i hope kira specifically kills him and loots the orb off his corpse.

the only two moments of note in this episode were 1. quark talking ancient unknowable aliens into letting him and the nagus leave unscathed through a combination of fast thinking and being annoying, which would be charming were i not in such dire anti-quark straits 2. rom robbing the nagus blind LMAOOO good for him. i hope he shared exactly zero of it with quark

on a final note, the space station, unlike tng's enterprise, does NOT seem to be self-cleaning. thank god for that.

EDIT I NEARLY FORGOT JULIAN BASHIR B PLOT!!!!! he wanted to win so bad even though he knew there wasnt a chance 🥺 my poor HORRIBLY competitive fella. and then it was three days of marinating in the fact that he was never gonna win

also odo cold reading him about the acceptance speech lmfao. love that

ex post facto (voy):

i would have liked this episode a LOT if it had happened to anyone but tom paris. imagine if a guy you liked had special brain torture every 14 hours even though he was totally innocent and only a mind meld from tuvok could save him. like, picture almost any other trek character in this situation. bashir. riker. even bones. any of them could maybe perhaps do a little kissing of a married woman and get themselves into trouble and it would be one of my favorite episodes of all time. even the plot twist of WHY he was falsely accused was fun and clever. unfortunately, i simply cannot bring myself to care about tom paris.

tuvok my best friend tuvok. he DID HIS HOMEWORK! the eyebrow movements, the way he did the mind meld from the same position that spock melded with dr van gelder in dagger of the mind my beloved. all these things are unmistakably vulcan because leonard nimoy did them first and SPOCK is unmistakably vulcan, despite all his lifelong insecurities. now that i've met other vulcans properly i know that better than ever and i wish he could too.

ALSO, HI, MARRIED 67 YEARS??? lowkey sad he and janeway can't get it now but also, do we think he has BABIES? do we think he has GRANDBABIES?? grandpa tuvok my best friend AAAGHGH. also, since this series is 7 years long and also because of a spoilery gifset EYE happen to know pon farr is inevitable. but i bet his wife had to fix it herself back home too so ik she will forgive him

anyway, if i was innocent, there's no one i'd rather have on my side than tuvok. he went above and beyond the call of duty there. i was really surprised he powered through the meld and experienced being murdered so well. i mean he took that like a champ. that's on vulcan stoicism...also AUGH janeway INSISTING he not do that bc she knows it will be horrible and the long time she spent searching his face before finally agreeing to it. i would never want him to cheat on his wife but they could also theoretically hypothetically get it.

and finally, CUTEST dog in the world this episode. it's so odd looking it does such a great job at jumping around everywhere

TONIGHT: ds9's "visionary" and voy's "emanations"

[shecomesincolors]

Tagged by @britneyshakespeare nearly a month ago! Thank you, my dear, and apologies, as usual, for both the delay and the positively deranged length of my replies.

1. Are you named after anyone? Yes, I am! My namesake was my father’s granny, who raised him as a little boy while his parents finished medical school. The senior Helena lived to be 90 and I met her many times when I was a little girl. My other paternal great-grandmother never took it very well that she didn’t get a baby named after her, but I thank my lucky stars for that, because her name is… rather anachronistic and unflattering.

2. When was the last time you cried? I… don’t remember? It was definitely a long time ago. Not only have I been quite happy lately, but also one might say I’m rather stunted; by which I mean, whenever something upsets me, I’m more likely to be catatonic, or spend the night awake, than to cry about it. I don’t know what that says about me, but I’ve always been like this, lol

3. Do you have kids? Goodness, no! Sometimes I imagine I might when I’m a proper grown-up, but I am far too young for that now.

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot? I tend to modulate my speech according to my interlocutor, so I guess that depends on whom I’m talking to; I think I’m more likely to use deadpan, dry humor than sarcasm per se, though.

5. What sports do you play, or have played? Tennis, on doctor’s orders (this sounds like a ludicrously old-timey thing to say out of context, but when I was in my early teens my physician insisted I get some exercise, and tennis was the sport I hated the least; I am not athletic in the slightest and I still suck at it, but I do play it).

6. What’s the first thing you notice about people? I had to ponder this question for a while. I suppose I’m always inclined to look for something to like in anybody I ever meet; usually something that we have in common (it needn’t be something big; even a converging taste in shoes is enough for starting a conversation). This may be a bit narcissistic of me, but isn’t it easier to build a positive rapport with someone when you recognize something of yourself in them?

7. What’s your eye color? Dark brown, on the verge of black.

8. Scary movies or happy endings? When it comes to movies, I always prefer a comedy. That being said, I’ve been getting a taste for horror lately. I blame Rosemary’s Baby for pulling me into that rabbit hole.

9. Any special talents? I’m often told I can be very eloquent and persuasive, which is a useful skill to have as a law student. I also have a great affinity, and an above average facility, for learning languages (I am fluent in three, pretty decent at an additional two, and know a little bit of many others). Oh, and, not that anyone cares, but I’ve also got a good memory for literary quotes (this may be the worst party trick ever, but I can recite entire stanzas from Les Fleurs du Mal and Byron’s Don Juan)!

10. Where were you born? Rio de Janeiro, Brazil.

11. What are your hobbies? As I said, I enjoy learning languages (I’ve been teaching myself Russian and Yiddish since the pandemic; I can already form complete sentences and read simple texts, but I wouldn’t say I can actually speak them yet). I also read a lot of literature, some culture history and biographies and a bit of history, political economy, and philosophy. I like keeping up with current events, too (is “like” the right word for that? It may be more accurate to say that I feel obligated to do so). I watch some TV and movies, especially classics, and I’m always listening to music on my air pods when I’m out and on my headphones when I’m home (I own a record player, too, but that is for special occasions). Besides all that, I also really enjoy singing, but I only get instrumental accompaniment when I have guests over, or during choir practice (I wish I could play the guitar, or the piano, but I’ve always been too woefully uncoordinated for that).

12. Do you have any pets? Three rescue cats, the youngest of whom we rescued ourselves!

13. How tall are you? An embarrassing 1,6 meter (about 5’4’’ in Fahrenheit, or whatever the strange measurement unit it is you use in the USA), made worse by the fact I can’t stand to wear uncomfortable shoes that might make me taller.

14. Favorite subject in school? I attended Catholic school despite growing up in a very secular family (long story, lol) and I hated most of it. But my parents were mindful of making up for gaps in my and my sister’s education by enrolling us in several extracurriculars and getting us some private tutors, including a young English teacher I absolutely adored. She’s still one of my closest friends nowadays, even though she moved abroad almost five years ago.

15. Dream job? Heiress. Socialite. Queen consort. Patron of the arts.

Thanks again, Diana, I had a lot of fun with these! I’m tagging @fancycolours, @sneez, @bbbrianjones, @bilbao-song, @david-watts, @chaoticdesertdweller, and anyone else who wants to do this.

[goyangii]

hello again i am that Korean anon who sent the ask about fetishization (oh boy do I have a loooot of god awful stories about that) - I get super excited whenever I find other fellow Korean people :D it's like a diaspora thing, i also grew up in the states but my upbringing was very odd (i guess?? my family is a bunch of atheists & don't care about education so the way they raised me was the opposite of that "tiger parenting" stereotype - i have lots of stories about that too djflskjfl)

T___T Krn anon back again, I don't have a tumblr so i don't think off-anon msg is a feature that's available for me? idk how u would feel about this but i have a google voice # but if that makes you uncomfy please don't feel pressured to say yes - I'm also a Korean living in the states (no offense to my fellow Krns i love u all but i hate the way that american is hyphenated & added to it), I'm in a state where there's lots of Koreans & Asians in general!

aa hi!! same omg, especially when someone recognizes a kr handle i use it makes me so happy <333 especially because so often people don't recognize it lol. i'm so sorry though that you've experienced this shit, it's legit so frustrating and imo one of the worst parts is that literally nobody besides other asians seems to get it and even then i know there's a bit of a rift btwn east asians and other asians bc east asians get disproportionate attention etc etc. so in the end it often feels like nobody is really rooting for korea genuinely but other koreans which sucks. like i know ~stopasianhate~ was a thing but a lot of people genuinely seem to think that anti-asian racism is like, racism-lite or something. even though anti-asian (and anti-korean) racism does take lives and hurt people regularly. reeee.

honestly really jealous that your parents were so cool ;_; i have a single mom but she was raised very religious (her mom was a pastor lol...rip) so it kind of trickled down. she's also a very stereotypical "doctor/lawyer or bust" type which has been a constant battle between us ;; though i imagine you still went through a lot even w/o the tiger parenting stereotype hhhh like there's still generational trauma so rip.........

re google voice - i understand !!! i'm a bit scared to put a google voice number publicly (idk if it can be backtraced to my rl phone # or what?? also i feel like dumb trolls will spam it ugh) but if you're able to make a burner tumblr and just drop it im totally happy to send it to you privately that way! i know that's a bit of an ask though @@;; also yeah kr american is so clunky and i just self id as korean as well since like. idk. i know ppl who are latino or whatever and just id as latino, not latino american (tho the inverse def exists!! and i get why some ppl would want to specify but god lol it is a PITA to type/say)? and i've seen koream as a shortening but it looks like a typo tbqh. that's awesome though!! i live in a state with a lot of koreans and a big kr community so i'm thankful but i just live in the mostly entirely white burbz bc money. rest in pieces. genuinely dunno how asian americans handle living in areas that are isolated bc it makes me feel just...grounded to be able to go to areas where ppl look like me and have the same shared cultural background. like i love other cultures too ofc but it's just,, home. it's comfy. so i'm glad you're in an area where there's a big asian/kr population <3

[ihatebnha]

You're Dabi's baby mama and think you're ready to reenter the dating scene? Think again. He will purposely sabotage every date so he can come over and comfort you with his penis

(vague continuation of this!)

Comfort you with his PENIS??? Babe, you are now BLOCKED. it's funny how obsessed i am w/ shitty baby daddy stuff tho... someone please tell freud im not answering the phone.

also pleaseeee put an age in ur bio my love or this relationship we've got is going to stop <333

(warnings: dabi being a toxic shit but he's NOT abusive + pregnancy mentioned)

-

It's true, though... and annoying as fuck.

It wouldn't exactly be so hard to stay away from Dabi (Touya as you have taken to calling him for the sake of legality now), if fucking weren't the reason you two even got together in the first place.

He markets himself well (and in fact, it's a skill that makes you think he could even get a job with, if he tried), said when you first met at that shitty dive bar that he only wouldn't be around long even though he loves girls like you...

And fuck, if his tattoos and black nails weren't enough to convince you, his way-too-lithe fingers were.

Little did you know that those fingers weren't just good for making you sing... and what he actually meant by fucking your brains out a couple days a week and always asking to stay the night was, "can I move into your apartment and 'accidentally' knock you up?"

You shouldn't have been so naive, especially for a guy who could barely keep his eyes off your leaky tits for the entirety of your pregnancy (at the doctor's, included).

But it's fine. It's fine.

Rei keeps him busy most days, Fuyumi on the nights when she has knitting club. They pluck him from your hair for the day, bring him home so he can do something, anything (see: sort their recycling and take Sho to the gym), to pass the time... even if they still can't stop him from leaving at the end of the day since his one daddy duty is to pick your daughter up from school and watch her for the night.

("I work, Touya..." you gasped at him, his complaints just more things to add onto the list of things wrong with him, "remember?")

Finally, something other than screwing you that he's good at... even if he raises absolute hell when he finds out that some nights aren't spent working but trying to move on from him.

Logically, in the part of him that is smart just like his parents... he knows he isn't the best boyfriend, and that the only reason you're even still letting him stay with you is just for your daughter (he's not a monster, remember? Just a big loser who can sleep on the couch)... but that doesn't mean he's not above ruining your futile efforts at finding a replacement...

Taking your wallet out of your purse just before you leave and then rudely sucking a hickey on your chest? Spontaneously arriving to pick you up from your date... even if you were invited to spend the night elsewhere? Following the date? "Recognizing" you on the street so he can ask about your daughter? Faking an emergency...

Hell, it's not like he's asking for all that much trouble when he pulls up to your date with your daughter in tow, but it's really not his fault that she recognizes you, either...

And when you get home crying, unsure (or not) of what went wrong... he's on your teary-eyed ass like a hound... promising, at least for the night, to make it all better and remind you why he stays.

He markets himself well, after all... and there's nothing he loves more than girls like you.

[moonlit-jeno]

secrets | n.jm

genre/ warnings: vampire au, explicit sexual content, angst, way too much blood/ blood drinking, b i t i n g, character death (kind of), references to drugs, religion

word count: 9.5k

summary:

“I’m not scared.”

“No?” The sharp points of his fangs graze your skin and you swallow down your whimper, head falling back against the wall. You’re not scared of what Jaemin could do to you.

You’re scared of what you want him to do to you.

notes: big thanks to @jaemallow for pushing the jaemin agenda and helping to keep me sane

“Come on, we’re going to be late.” Mark grumbles at you, throwing an agitated glance over his shoulder. You roll your eyes and slow down even more just to spite him. “Dude, my dad’s going to kill me.” “He’ll be fine. Murder’s against the word of God, y’know.” You speed up despite your words, laughing at the way Mark glares at you. 

There’s a crack in the sidewalk that he trips over and you laugh good naturedly. The street leading up to the church is in less than optimal shape, littered with cracks in the sidewalk and missing chunks of cement. Mark’s dad had tried to raise money to fix the street, but it hasn’t happened yet.

Mark starts walking slower all of a sudden and you grumble, glaring at him when he grabs your wrist to yank you backwards. You’re about to ask what his problem is when you see the three figures at the end of the road, moving closer towards you two.

“You’re kidding me.” They hear it, they must, with their superhuman senses. It only makes them smile brighter. You glance at Mark. “Wanna turn around?”

“Too late.” Mark breathes, staring straight ahead of him with wide eyes. You look away from him to find the three vampires standing directly in front of you, blocking your way.

A groan leaves you and you cross your arms, raising your eyebrows expectantly. “Can we help you?”

The ringleader of the bunch, Jaemin, smiles. “Well, since you’re offering, I suppose I am feeling a little hungry.”

The church is only one block down but if they don’t want to let you pass, you’re not going to get there. Mark shifts nervously next to you, shaking his head when you open your mouth to make a remark. That doesn’t stop you from saying it. “You realize that just because you’re from the 1200’s doesn’t mean that you have to talk like you’re from the 1200’s.”

“I resent that.” Jaemin frowns, clutching his hands to his chest likes he’s been stabbed. “I was born in 1706. It’s almost like you don’t care about me at all.”

“Is it? Must be because I don’t.” The other two vampires are silent, though one of them- Jeno- watches with amusement. The other one is unfamiliar and looks like he’s trying to figure out to pair you with white or red wine. You shudder and turn your attention to Jeno. “Nice cross. I thought shit like that burned your skin? You know, because you’re a demon and all that.”

Jeno’s eyes smile with him and it’s hard to remember that he’s a monster. He brushes his thumb against the small mark under his eye, shrugging. “Nah, only the blessed ones. Or, y’know, the silver ones. But this one? I just wanted to piss off the church daddy who told me that I deserved to rot in worse places than the sewer.“

You snort before you can stop yourself. “Church daddy?”

He waves a dismissive hand. “Church daddy, father, same thing.” A pause. “Hey, Mark, isn’t that your dad?”

Mark avoids eye contact and nods. “Yeah, but I like, I don’t like, speak for him, y’know?” He laughs nervously.

“You don’t have to.” That’s the one you don’t recognize, glaring at Mark. “We can tell it’s what you’re thinking. You don’t even have the decency to look at us?”

“And who are you? Their vampire bitch or something?” You snap to Mark’s defense, not wanting the vampires to prey on Mark’s nerves.

The boy lunges like he’s going to attack you but Jeno grabs him by the neck. Jaemin laughs. “Careful princess, that hits a little too close to home for our little Renjun over here.” To clarify, he leans a little closer and lowers his voice. Not like it matters, the other two can hear him just fine. “Jeno got carried away while feeding the other day and turned him.”

Your eyes widen in surprise and this time you don’t have a witty comeback. Vampires are monsters, yes, but they have laws. And it is very, very illegal to turn a human. “That’s-”

“Against the law?” Jeno finishes. “Yeah. It was an accident though, plus he’s from out of town! So I can’t technically get in trouble.”

“Technically.” You mock, rolling your eyes. “Whatever, we’ve got places to be so if we could speed this conversation up?”

Jaemin pouts. “So soon? You’re already late for church, why even bother going?”

You stand your ground. “Good bye, Jaemin. Make sure you do a better job of training your new puppy.” Renjun snarls at you.

“What, like how you trained your puppy?” Jaemin nods over at Mark and the boys face turns red. “Bye, y/n, Mark. I’d ask you to say hello to God for me but he doesn’t exist!”

He walks off with that as a goodbye, Renjun and Jeno on his heels. Jeno at least has the decency to smile at you and tell you to have a good rest of your day.

They’re right about one thing: going to church when you‘re already late sucks. A few people glance back at you and Mark when you sneak in, sitting in the last row. You spot your parents sitting in the front row along with Mark’s brother. Luckily none of them notice you slipping in, so they won’t know just how late you were.

Mark seems on edge and you pat his knee, frowning at how violently he flinches. You raise an eyebrow, silently asking if he’s okay. He just gives you a tight smile. Mark’s always been a nervous kid, so you figure it has to do with the little vampire interaction you just had. Or fear that his dad will yell at him for being late. They’re both pretty scary.

It’s not until after the service that you talk to your parents- your mother taking the time to hug Mark and pinch his cheeks before she even looks at you- and your father asks where you were.

“It was my fault, sir.” Mark speaks up, knowing that your parents adore him and won’t be upset. “I couldn’t find my church clothes, I forgot that they were in the wash and had to sort through all of my laundry. Y/n was an angel and stayed with me to help.”

“Huh,” Your father says, looking Mark up and down. “Well, your shoes could use a good polishing, but you look sharp, kid. Good man.” He pats Mark’s shoulder and walks off to talk to a friend. Your mother raises an eyebrow and shrugs, loading you up with tasks to take care of when you get home.

Do the dishes, fold the laundry, remember to take the store bought pie out of the container and pop it onto a plate so that it looks homemade. “Oh, and one last thing.” She stops you, turning away from her conversation about her book club meeting with some lady that she can’t stand. “I don’t want you walking through the city. Those vampires are getting braver and braver, attacking in broad daylight.”

“Okay, I’ll take the long way.” You promise her. She nods, and satisfied that you won’t die, turns back to her friends. You say goodbye to Mark and a handful of other people- most of whom you don’t like- and head home.

You have absolutely no intention of taking the long way home. It adds an extra half an hour to your walk and you swear you always get attacked by bugs. Besides, vampires might be dangerous, but it’s not like you have a high chance of encountering one. The three you’d talked to earlier were harmless, two of them attending your same university.

Jeno did medical research, occasionally stepping in to teach if the professors needed help. He’s technically a doctor, but he finds ways to multitask. The benefits of being immortal, you suppose, is that you learn a lot, especially if you’ve been alive since the 1100’s. He was nice enough by himself, though he would never answer your questions about history. Not that he wouldn’t try, but the poor guy would just get so confused that he would end up rambling about a completely unrelated topic.

Jaemin was a little different. He took classes, though his goal was to learn about interesting topics and keep up with the culture, not to fit in like Edward Cullen and prey on teenage girls. For someone so old, he’s surprisingly good at the technology classes, learning how to use a camera faster than your much younger parents. Jaemin also holds tutoring sessions for struggling students, pretty much offering help for every subject. Sometimes he assists Jeno with his research, though he never says what they’re researching. It’s always the same vague answer: medicine.

You know them pretty well, and yet you wouldn’t say that you’re friends. Vampires and humans coexist, but it’s not always that peaceful. There’s a definite divide between the two, a definite feeling of “we’re better than them” coming from both sides. And you can see why that divide is there, you can understand why.

After all, it’s not like you’re too fond of vampires yourself.

Cursed to hell, is a phrase used too often by your parents, by the church. God’s reject’s is another. And when you look at them, it’s hard to disagree with those statements.

They don’t burn in the sun but they can’t touch silver, can’t say God’s name, can’t enter a building without explicit permission. They catch on fire when they enter holy places (they’re fine to enter the one across town, but that’s another story).

Similar insults are used to describe humans. “How can you call us God’s rejects when you die so easily?” One vampire had countered when you were in middle school, pointing out that vampires couldn’t get diseases or die of natural causes like a human. He’d called you weak. You’d thrown a cross at him. Both of you had been suspended.

Still, you don’t hate vampires. And you especially can’t hate vampires now, not when you’re failing your chemistry class and your only option for help is Na Jaemin.

Mark has a different opinion. “Y/n, you can’t go to his house! He’ll kill you!”

You laugh. “Mark, come on. It’s either he kills me, or my parents kill me when they find out I wasted my tuition on a class I failed. It’ll be fine.” He still looks unhappy. You wiggle your fingers at him. “Look! I have silver rings on. I’m wearing my cross. I’ll be fine.”

“I’m not going to be the one telling your parents you were killed by a vampire, y/n.” He sounds dead serious and you raise your eyebrows. 

“Mark, I’m helping with a research project. I’m not deciding to work for the food bank.” You point out. “This is the only way I can make up my grade, Mark. It’s generous of my professor to even let me do this.” He sighs, knowing there’s no arguing with you, and pulls his necklace off. Walking closer, he drapes the silver cross over your head. “Fine. Just, please be careful.” You smile and pat his cheek, tucking the charm under the collar of your shirt. “I always am.”

Jaemin lives in a pretty nice house on the top of the hill, which sucks because your calves are burning by the time you get up there. It has a pretty view, though, and it’s a decent distance away from his closest neighbor. You always joke that he could kill someone up here. Going up alone, that joke doesn’t seem as funny.

He’s got an old fashioned knocker on the wooden door that you only use because you’re not too fond of digging splinters out of your hands. It makes a pretty solid sound, and it barely takes five seconds before Jaemin answers the door. He looks good, wearing a dark blue button up with his hair pushed off of his forehead. Almost like he put some effort in. He obviously catches you giving him a once over and he grins.

“Eager to see me?” You tease, stepping past him into his house. He laughs, rolling his eyes.

“Oh, of course. The world revolves around you, I just had to get a glimpse.” Jaemin drawls. 

“Alright, what’s the research project?” You ask, wanting to get straight to the point. “I’m only here because I need to pass my class, Jaemin.

He takes his time flipping through a book on his coffee table before glancing up at you, rolling his sleeves up to his forearms. “The effects of vampire blood in humans.”

Your eyebrows skyrocket. “If you say that you’re making me drink your blood, we’re going to have a problem.”

“Fucking hell, y/n. I know you humans have a problem with vampires, but I’m a researcher. I do research, and I do it just as responsibly and professionally as human researchers.” Jaemin snaps, and it’s probably the first time you’ve ever heard him not use a flirting or teasing tone. “And besides, we already know what that would do. It would only turn you.” You swallow thickly at the thought of being turned. “Then what do you need me here for?” “We just need a few of your cells and a tiny blood sample.” Jaemin says, moving to where you stand next to the counter. “We’re researching if vampire blood has an effect on strengthening human cells, or preventing undesirable circumstances that affect humans. You know, aging, disease, the like.” He hands you some paperwork and you glance over it briefly. There’s nothing about him draining you dry of blood, so you sign it. “Great. We won’t be taking the samples today considering we’re at my house, but I’ll walk you through the basics of what we’re doing. You know, assuming that you’re smart enough to understand it.” “I’m not fucking dumb, Jaemin.” You snap, glaring at him.

“No, of course not.” He sympathises, smiling down at you. “Just a little slow. Come on y/n, you’re failing one of the easiest courses at the university. You’re not exactly smart.”

You shove the papers over to Jaemin, purposely letting your silver rings graze his exposed skin. Jaemin flinches back from your touch, a sharp hiss leaving him as he grabs at his wrist. He glares at you. “You fucking serious?”

It’s mean, but what he said wasn’t exactly nice. You meet his gaze head on, eyebrow arched. “What’s the matter, leech? Can’t take the heat?” He takes a deep breath and closes his eyes to ground himself. It’s probably not smart to goad him, but that’s exactly what you do. “Aww, don’t ignore me, leech. It’s rude. Didn’t your parents ever teach you any manners?”

All the air in your body leaves you with a whoosh as Jaemin pins you up against the wall, wrists held over your head by one of his hands. A dull pain radiates through your body and you’re sure you’ll have bruises on your back from the impact, not that Jaemin seems to care. The boy stares down at you with dark eyes, standing way too close for comfort. 

“My parents died 300 years ago.” Jaemin snarls. “But yours are still alive. Didn’t they teach you to respect your elders?”

“You’re not older than me.” The words are intended to be fierce, defiant. They come out shaky, timid. “You’re a dead man, Jaemin.”

That makes him laugh, though you don’t think he’s found your words funny. “Yeah? Do I seem dead to you?” He tightens his grip on your wrist and uses his free hand to tilt your chin up, make you look him in the eyes. “I can feel your heartbeat, little girl. You’re scared.”

“I’m not scared.” You are. He knows that.

“No?” He raises his eyebrows, cocking his head to the side before dipping down, letting his mouth hover over your neck. “Not even now?”

You shake your head, swallowing down a whimper. He’s right about your heartbeat, it’s fluttering so frantically that you can hear it in your ears, feel it under your skin. You’re scared, but not for the reasons he thinks you are.

Jaemin smiles at you, fangs on full display, and moves even closer to your neck. The sharp points of his fangs graze your skin and you swallow down your whimper, head falling back against the wall. You’re not scared of what Jaemin could do to you.

You’re scared of what you want him to do to you.

He scrapes his fangs along your neck, an action that’s painful in the most pleasurable way, but doesn’t break the skin. His tongue darts out instead, soothing over the pain before his lips press to your skin in an open mouthed kiss. Your fingers flex above your head and you ache to touch him, to fist your hand in his soft hair and pull him closer.

A moan leaves you and he pulls away, pressing his thumb to the area. Jaemin can feel your pulse from there and he smirks at how frantically your heart beats.

“You’re not scared?” Jaemin asks, the question condescending. He doesn’t believe you. “You do realize that I could sink my fangs into your pretty little neck and drain you dry, right?”

The mention of him biting you drags a keen out of your throat, and you find yourself whimpering out a “please” before you can help yourself. It has Jaemin pausing, eyes roaming over you as he reassesses the situation.

“Oh, you really aren’t scared.” Jaemin smirks. “Who knew that you were so fucking filthy?” He doesn’t wait for a response, dipping his head down and trailing the tip of his tongue up your throat. It feels nice, so, so nice, but it’s interrupted by a burning pain, a sob ripping from you at the intensity of it.

You thrash against his hold, but then the pain starts to get replaced with a pleasure unlike anything you’ve ever felt, and you slowly melt into his touch, arching against him to expose more of your throat.

Jaemin pulls away eventually, licking over your wound a few times before pulling back to give you a bloody grin. “Feels good, yeah?” You nod, and the bliss must be apparent on your face because Jaemin chuckles darkly before leaning back in. “You want more, don’t you?”

“Yeah, want it.” The words are breathless and slur together, your body thrumming with heat, begging for more. Jaemin does the opposite of what you want and steps away.

“Be a good girl and take those fucking rings off, then.” Jaemin commands, and you swear you’ve never moved faster than you’re moving now, carelessly dropping your jewelry to the floor. Mark’s necklace lands near his foot and he scowls at it, crushing the piece of metal beneath the heel of his shoe.

You immediately grab for him when you’re done, but Jaemin doesn’t let you pull him forward. He just scoops you up into his arms, carrying you to the sofa. You end up straddling his lap, his back pressing into the couch, and he wastes no time before sinking his fangs back into your neck.

“God,” You breathe out, winding your arms around his neck, pulling his head closer to you. “F-fuck, Jaem, that feels so good.”

He just hums against your throat, continuing to suck and lick at the wound. There’s a little bit of blood on his lips when he pulls away and you wipe at it with your thumb before letting the digit slip past his lips. He sucks on it slowly, gazing up at you with dark eyes, and lets his fangs graze the skin. Arousal jolts through you and you whimper, pulling your hand away and dragging him back to your neck.

“Baby wants more?” Jaemin teases, not waiting for an answer before sinking his fangs into you, this spot even more sensitive than the last. You whine loudly, tugging at his hair and feeling your eyes roll back in your head at the euphoria spreading through your body. Your head feels fuzzy and there’s so much heat coursing through you that you can barely function.

“Mhmm, yeah.” You pant out. “Want more. Oh my God Jaemin, I’m so fucking wet.”

Jaemin groans at your words, one of his hands sliding up your thigh before moving inwards, cupping your pussy over your clothes. He pulls his hand away when you try to grind down, grabbing onto your hip to stop your movements.

“No.” He growls, the simple word vibrating through your entire body and making you shake. “You come from this, nothing else.”

Tears slip down your cheeks as you hold onto him for dear life, your core clenching desperately around nothing. You hug him tighter, letting your head fall back on your shoulders to expose more of your throat, your lips parted to let Jaemin drag sound after sound of pleasure out of you. It feels good, way too good considering the action, and you lose yourself to the feeling.

The collar of your shirt is tugged down and then Jaemin’s lips are attaching to the top of your breast, fangs sinking into the delicate flesh. You keen and shove your chest further into his face, not knowing what else to do besides hold onto him for dear life. Your body feels heavy but your head feels light and it’s such a startling contrast to the euphoria coursing through your veins that it makes you dizzy. It’s hard to see straight, let alone think straight, and your pussy throbs with every little bit of blood that Jaemin takes from your body. Your hips rock against nothing but air, desperately searching for some sort of friction, something to fill your needy cunt, but you can’t find anything and it has you sobbing out in frustration.

More bite marks are left, more electricity shoots through your body, more wetness drips out of your pussy. You swear you’ve never felt this good in your life, and that’s only confirmed when Jaemin seals his lips over the first mark he left, licking and sucking at the wound until it opens all over again and you feel yourself falling, white flashing behind your eyes as the most intense orgasm of your life crashes over you. You grab at Jaemin as tightly as you can, screaming his name and babbling incoherently as he drags out your pleasure, lets you get high off all of his kisses and bites.

It lasts forever, and it takes even longer for you to come down to yourself, Jaemin stroking your hair and your back. You open your eyes to find him already looking at you, his face clean and dry of any blood. It takes you a while to notice that there’s an ice pack on your neck and a plate of food on the table in front of you, and you vaguely wonder how long you were out for if Jaemin had time to do all of this for you.

“Don’t move too fast, baby.” Jaemin cautions, noticing you struggling to sit up. “I took way more blood than I meant to, you’re gonna feel a little weak.” “A little?” Your muscles feel like jelly when you try to push yourself off of him and you collapse back onto Jaemin’s chest with a soft groan. Jaemin huffs a laugh and helps you sit up, turning you around on his lap so that your back is to his chest. He drops a soft kiss to your ear and your eyelids flutter. 

“Here, take these.” Pills are dropped into your hand, a bottle of some energy drink you don’t recognize. “It’ll replace all the nutrients and stuff you lost.” Jaemin watches you down the drink in one go, tossing it across the room when you hand the empty bottle back to him. “How are you feeling?”

Your vision is much clearer than it was, though you still feel lethargic and would like to do nothing except lay down in a soft bed for the rest of your life. “My head hurts.” Jaemin hums. “Okay. I would rattle off some instructions for you to follow but I know it’ll just make your headache worse. I’ll write them down for you instead, how’s that.” “You’re so self aware.” Reality hits you when you feel the bruises on your throat, on your chest, and realize that yes, all of that did just happen. “Um. I didn’t know it could feel that-” You trail off, hand waving vaguely in the air. “Good?” Jaemin offers, laughing when you nod. “Mhmm, did they not tell you about that? I’m sure they make it sound like being bitten by a vampire is the worst thing imaginable at that fancy church you go to.” You look away, embarrassed, and Jaemin laughs. “You know that humans make drugs out of our saliva, right? That’s why there are hunters.” Your eyes shoot open in alarm. “Really? That’s awful.”

 Jaemin hums, nodding. “Yeah, well, when it’s profitable...” He laughs bitterly. “Anyways, it’s an expensive drug. And you just got that shit for free.”

“I feel so honored.” You laugh, snuggling into him. He pushes you back. 

“Y/n, I need you to understand something.” Jaemin says, tone suddenly serious. His eyes burn straight into your soul. “That was a mistake. I’m not- we can’t do that again.”

It shouldn’t hurt you. What you just did is considered shameful by many, you should be relieved that he’s telling you it can’t happen again. You shouldn’t want to spend more time with a vampire. “Oh. Yeah, yeah of course.” You nod, looking away from his intense gaze to blink back your tears. “Yeah, we just got carried away.” Jaemin looks like he wants to say something else, lips parting for a second before shaking his head, offering a tight smile instead. “We got everything done that we needed to get done. You should rest now.” 

He doesn’t mean now as in right this second, which he made especially clear after telling you that it was a mistake, but you can’t help it. You’re asleep in seconds.

When you wake up for the second time, Jaemin is nowhere to be found. You’re in your own bed, tucked in nice and neatly, and you smile as you realize it meant that the vampire had carried you home. There’s the list of instructions that he’d promised you on your nightstand, signed with nearly illegible hand-writing. Your smile grows before promptly dropping off. Vampires can’t get into a house without being invited. You’ve never invited him in, which means that he must’ve either asked permission from Mark or your parents. Neither is good.

The gravity of the situation hits you when Mark walks into your room, jaw set, arms crossed. He blanches when he sees your neck, the sight clearly making him uncomfortable. “Holy- y/n, I told you that you couldn’t trust Jaemin. You’re lucky I was here when you brought you home because I can guarantee your parents would react way worse than me.”

“Jaemin was fine. He didn’t do anything I didn’t want him to.” You see the exact moment that those words process in Mark’s mind, his face going from worried to angry.

“You let him drink from you? What were you thinking? Y/n, you look like you got mauled.” Mark sounds disgusted and you try not to shrink into yourself.

The bruises ache when you press over one of them and an overwhelming sense of embarrassment washes over you at how it makes you shiver. “Relax, it’s not like I let him turn me. We just got caught up in the heat of the moment. Mark, it felt so good.” Your eyelids flutter shut at the memory, snapping back open when Mark scoffs.

“So what? You want to be their blood bag now?” Mark’s voice rises in pitch as he yells and the sound grates on your nerves. “Wanna be a vampire whore for the rest of your life? Live in a dusty ass attic and let whoever walks by have a go at you?” “Mark, what- do you hear yourself? What the fuck is your problem?” Mark’s been your best friend since you were five. Never, never, have you heard him talk like this. It hurts.

“Do I hear myself? Y/n, I should be the one asking you that. Here you are, creaming yourself while talking about letting some fucking, some bloodsucker tear your throat open! It’s disgusting.” Mark scoffs, shaking his head. “You’re just as bad as Do-” He cuts himself off suddenly, but you know what he was about to say. “Just as bad as who? Donghyuck?” You shake your head, feeling hot tears prick at the back of your eyes. “It must run in the family to become filthy disappointments, then.”

Mark’s eyes soften and he grabs your wrist, rubbing circles into your skin with his thumb. “It’s not too late for you. Let’s go to the church, you can pray for forgiveness.”

You feel numb when you nod, letting Mark wrap a scarf around your neck and lead you down the road. He sits next to you in the pews, rubbing your shoulder while you rest your forehead on your hands, pretending to pray. But you can’t focus, can’t stop thinking about your brother.

Donghyuck was Mark’s best friend before you were. The three of you would hang out a lot, though you only joined the two because as Donghyuck’s younger sister, he felt obligated to include you. The two boys were inseparable, and then one day, they weren’t.

Your parents say that he was tainted by the devil. Mark’s father says that he betrayed God. You think Donghyuck simply fell in love. And love is a beautiful thing, but not when it’s between a vampire and a human. Your brother was forced to choose between his family and his love.

In the end, he chose love. 

That night, you toss and turn in bed, unable to stop thinking about your brother. If he’s alive, if he’s a vampire. If he’s dead. What you would do in his situation. Not that it matters, because you wouldn’t fall in love with a vampire, but you can’t help but wonder. Is it really that bad? They were once human, too. 

The thought doesn’t leave your mind even when you go to the lab, meeting an uncharacteristically quiet Jaemin, and a very excited looking Jeno. “Y/n! Thank you so much for doing this!” “Yeah, well, gotta pass my classes somehow.” You laugh. Jaemin doesn’t meet your eyes when you look at him, keeping his gaze just a little too low and frowning. 

“Seriously though, this is great. I’ve been trying to get permission for this experiment for ages, the fact that the administration finally caved is insane.” Jeno says, turning to ruffle through some papers on the desk. You shoot a curious glance at Jaemin, finally realizing that he’s staring at your neck. Or well, your covered neck. He’s trying to see the marks. With a glance towards Jeno, you carefully slide the fabric of your turtle neck down, laughing silently at how Jaemin inhales sharply, lips parting slightly. You yank it back up when Jeno turns around. “Jaemin informed you of the experiment, correct?” You shoot Jaemin a look. “Yeah! You just need to take a couple of blood samples, right?” Jeno shakes his head, tilting his head at Jaemin. “Not exactly. We’re going to need you to take microdoses of vampire blood.”

It takes a moment to register. “You want me to drink vampire blood?” You screech, eyes bulging. “That’s going to turn me!” Jeno shakes his head, laughing. “With the amount we’re giving you? No. It’ll only turn you if a vampire drinks your blood, and you die. You’ll be fine.” Next to you, Jaemin stiffens. You bite your lip. “Um. Like at the same time, or?” “It doesn’t have to be at the exact same time. If you’ve been bitten before, you can’t drink any blood or you’ll be turned. But again, that’s only if you die.” Jeno tilts his head. “Have you been bitten before?” “Jeno.” Jaemin draws his attention away before you can respond. “It’s just a microdose, right? Like, barely enough to have an effect?” He considers this. “Well, I mean, not enough to have negative effects.” 

You and Jaemin share a long look. Jaemin had drunk your blood not even a week earlier. It's dangerous. But it’s a small amount. Jeno said there wouldn’t be any negative effects. And you can’t fail this class. You send Jaemin a pleading look. Jaemin swallows thickly and looks back to Jeno.

“She’ll be fine?” Jaemin’s voice is shaky. 

Jeno nods. “Caring for a human? That’s odd, coming from you. But yeah, she’ll be fine.”

You exhale heavily. “I’ll do it.”

There are more papers to be signed, more blood to be drawn. Though this time Jeno takes it in a much more professional manner, drawing it out and putting it into a test tube. Next to you, Jaemin squeezes his eyes shut and you watch his jaw clench. You want to tease him but you can’t, not in front of Jeno.

Despite Jeno’s reassurances, the worry doesn’t leave you. He doesn’t know what you and Jaemin did, doesn’t know that you’ve been bitten by a vampire. And maybe it doesn’t matter- it’s not like you’re going to die or anything, which is what needs to happen for you to turn- but you need some sort of comfort. 

That’s how you end up bailing on your Friday night dinner with Mark’s family, saying that you need to finish a project that’s due that night. Your parents roll their eyes and scold you for not taking your studies seriously, but let you skip the dinner. Mark shakes his head at you, disapproving of you working with a vampire, but keeps his mouth shut. 

If Jaemin’s surprised when you show up at his door, he doesn’t show it. He just smirks at you, leaning against the door frame. “Hey blood bag.” You scoff and shove past him into the house, dropping down onto the sofa you sat on last time. “When did you start calling me that, leech?”

“When you let me drink from you.” Jaemin says plainly, sitting next to you. “Is there a reason you’re here? I mean, I know I’m irresistible, but-” “But we didn’t tell Jeno you drank from me.” You interrupt. “We need to tell him. He’s been waiting forever for this, he’ll be devastated if we ruin it.”

Jaemin nods, considering it. “Y/n, you know you’ll get kicked off the project if we tell him, right?” You nod, biting your lip. “Look, Jeno’s been my best friend for hundreds of years. I hate keeping this from him more than you do.” “Then why are you?” It doesn’t make sense. You’re certainly not friends, or at least you weren’t before last week. 

He doesn’t answer. His eyes are dark and it looks like there’s a war raging behind them, but he doesn’t elaborate on what’s bothering him. The sharp points of his teeth dig into his bottom lip as he bites it nervously, blood beading at the cut when he finally looks back at you.

You don’t think when you bring your thumb up to swipe at his lower lip, skin coming away red. Jaemin watches in fascination as you bring the digit up to your own mouth, sliding it past your lips, sucking the blood away. He swallows thickly.

“Does it feel as good for you as it does for me?” You ask, glancing from his lips to his face. He shakes his head gently.

“It feels good for you because of our saliva.” Jaemin explains. “But it doesn’t feel bad when you do it, it’s just-” He makes a vague gesture with his hand as if trying to pull the words out of thin air. “It’s very intimate.”

He licks his lips, then, digs his teeth back into his bottom lip. It’s a subconscious movement but you still lean in to press a kiss over where the blood pricks up, nipping just hard enough to have a growl rumbling in Jaemin’s chest before soothing the wound with your tongue. You pull away and smile, licking the blood off of your lips. 

You don’t even have time to make a witty remark over how affected Jaemin looks because he’s pulling you onto his lap, crashing your lips together with enough force that you’re sure they’ll bruise. It draws a moan from you and Jaemin eagerly drinks it in, fisting his hand in your hair and deepening the kiss. 

A gasp leaves you when he pulls away, trails his lips down your throat. You tense in anticipation, a whine getting trapped in your throat when his fangs just barely scrape the skin. He leaves a wet kiss there, pulling away to look up at you. “Want me to bite you, baby?”

“God, yeah.” You moan out, tilting your head to expose more of your neck. 

“Ah, I’d rather you didn’t say that name in my house.” Jaemin laughs. He moves back to your throat, digging his fangs into the spot he’d marked. There’s less pain this time, pleasure coursing through you almost instantly. You whine and tighten your grip on his hair.

Electricity runs through your veins as Jaemin takes what he wants, marking up your body. You breathe out something along the lines of “want more” and Jaemin takes it to heart, scooping you up and carrying you to his room in record time. He tosses you onto the mattress, crawling over you not even a second later to press his lips to yours. 

He fits himself easily between your legs, rocking his hips down in a rare show of desperation. You can feel exactly how affected he is, his hardness pressing deliciously against your core. Another plea of “more” is whispered against his lips and he doesn’t need any more encouragement, pulling away to move further down your body. He kisses and nips his way down your torso, pushing your shirt up to reveal more skin to him, dropping kiss after kiss to the sensitive skin just above the waistband of your pants. Your core throbs at the feeling of having him so close to you and you squirm, trying to spread your legs more, trying to articulate that you need something, anything. 

“J-Jaemin, take them off.” You whine, pushing at the waistband. “I need you.”

The coldness of his hands brushing against your skin when he drags your pants down has you shivering, squirming. He tosses your clothing to the floor and wastes no time attaching his lips to the inside of your thigh, holding you down when you squirm. 

“Is this okay?” Jaemin asks, concern mixing with his arousal. He brushes his index finger over your pussy, making your back arch in an effort to get him closer to where you need him. 

“More than.” Despite your assurances, Jaemin doesn’t touch you. He moves his hand up to your abdomen, flattening his palm to keep you pinned down. You whine in annoyance, but the teeth dragging over your inner thigh has you shutting up. A gasp leaves you before he even sinks his fangs in, your pussy absolutely throbbing with need. He presses another gentle kiss to the skin and, raising his gaze to make eye contact with you, bites you.

It’s more intense than when he bit your neck or your chest. It sets your body on fire in the best of ways, leaves you writhing under his touch. Your eyes roll in your head and your hands flail in an effort to grab something, anything to ground yourself. It’s amazing, and just when you think you’ve reached heaven, he touches you.

You’re soaking wet and Jaemin’s fingers slide into you effortlessly, fill you up so well. It’s too much effort to keep your eyes open and so you let them drift shut, let yourself fall into the bliss. There’s pressure against your lips and you open your eyes to find Jaemin hovering over you, sliding two fingers past your lips. You didn’t even realize he’d stopped biting you.

“Suck.” He commands, and who are you to disobey? You wrap your lips around the digits and hum at the taste of yourself, at the weight of them in your mouth. “Taste good, baby?” “Mhmm, yeah.” Your words are slurred around the digits and you suck even harder around them, letting your tongue trace patterns around them. Jaemin swears softly and grinds down against your thigh. 

He presses one more kiss to your lips before sliding down your body. “My turn to taste.”

Maybe there should be some sort of alarm going through your system when Jaemin lowers his mouth to your core. Some sort of reminder that he has some very sharp fangs, that he has just bit you in multiple places, and that his fangs are right in the place that fangs should never be. But it feels heavenly when he licks a stripe between your folds, when he fucks his tongue into your hole. His hands keep you pinned to the mattress, super strength coming in handy to control your squirming. 

The pleasure consumes you and it’s so much, too much, and your eyes want to squeeze shut but Jaemin looks up at you and his gaze is magnetic, making it impossible to look away from him. Your body’s on fire, burning brighter with every flick of his tongue, every moan he lets out into your core. He pulls away to drop his head to the apex of your thigh, digging his fangs into the delicate skin there, and you can’t fight the scream that rips from your throat. You’re babbling, chanting incoherent words as you try to explain how good it feels, how you never want him to stop. His hair is soft in your grip and it’s the only thing keeping you anchored, the only thing preventing you from drowning in pleasure. 

“You taste so good, baby.” Jaemin moans, pulling away momentarily to make a show of licking his lips. “Everything about you is so delicious.” He returns to your core, lapping at your hole before flicking his tongue over your clit, laughing at how your body jolts. There’s nothing but hunger in his eyes as he sucks your clit between his lips, fucking two fingers into your needy cunt. He does it again, hitting all of your sensitive spots, making you scream with bliss as you finally tip over the edge. 

Wave after wave of euphoria crash into you and your lungs burn as your gasp for air. You’re drowning in the best way possible, surrounded by nothing but pleasure and Jaemin, Jaemin, Jaemin.

He works you through it with gentle flicks of his tongue, hands smoothing over your thighs to bring you back down. You manage to find enough strength to shove at his head when it gets to be too much, tiredly sinking into the mattress when he pulls away. Jaemin wipes at his mouth and bends down to kiss you lazily, nipping at your lip just to hear you whine. He smooths your hair down and brushes a few strands out of your face, smiling down at how fucked out you are. And you’d be content to lay wrapped in his arms, with Jaemin cooing softly at how pretty you are and petting your head, but you can feel how hard he is.

“Jaemin,” You murmur, shifting in his hold. “Jaem, wanna make you feel good.” “It’s alright, you don’t h- oh, shit baby- you don’t have to.” He has to fight to get the words out, a groan interrupting his sentence when you grab at his cock. You pout at him and manage to tug his pants down just enough for you to pull him out. 

“But I want to.” You smile, leaning up for a kiss. Jaemin doesn’t bother replying, just presses his lips back to yours and melts into your touch. The way you jerk him off is lazy, your energy drained from how intense your orgasm was. Though with the way Jaemin groans against your lips and tightens his grip on your hip, you don’t think that he minds.

He moans your name when he comes, a beautiful sound that has your stomach twisting with heat. White spills over your knuckles and onto his stomach and you bring your hand up to your mouth, licking at it curiously. Jaemin watches you with heavy lids before collapsing onto the mattress. 

“Fuck,” He sighs, eyelids drifting shut. “Why’re you so good to me?” “Why are you so good to me?” You mumble back in response, curling up into him. “Thanks for not biting my pussy.” Something  about that sets Jaemin off and his body shakes with the laughter running through him. A giggle leaves you. “What?” Jaemin shakes his head, still laughing. “Nothing. Come on, gotta get you some food.” 

And that’s how it goes. You and Jaemin continue to hook up, although he does end up saying ‘fuck it’ and attempting to actually teach you chemistry. Despite Mark’s fears, he doesn’t end up killing you. He’s a lot of fun to be around, plus he keeps his pantry stocked with various snacks. Sometimes he even cooks for you, if he’s feeling nice.

“What’s a vampire doing with all this food?” You ask one day, watching him make fried rice. He doesn’t respond, just staring down at the pan and offering you a shrug, though you swear you see him blush. 

Your professor raises your grade to a C. It’s not stellar but it also isn’t failing, which you will happily take. There’s only a little bit of guilt when she beams at you while telling you how happy Jeno is with your dedication to the project. 

Jeno continues to take blood samples, and you continue to not tell him that you’ve been bitten. It eats you up inside, but Jaemin’s always there to reassure you. Whether he’s trying to comfort you or himself more is up for debate.

Everything stays the same except for Mark.

He gets more distant, grows a little more resentful. There’s no smiles or teasing jokes, except for the polite ones he flashes in front of your parents. He starts to make up lies, too, which is something you promised to never do. Excuses to get him out of plans, saying there’s nothing wrong. And your best friend, the most timid, nicest boy you’ve ever met, begins to pick petty fights with you.

You’re over it, and it bothers you even if you try not to let it show. Jaemin rubs your back and tells you it’ll be okay, but you know it won’t. Because Jaemin’s the reason that Mark’s distant. And you have no plans to stop seeing him.

Talking to Jaemin, you’re sure Mark would have liked him if the circumstances were different. If Mark didn’t hate vampires so much, or if Jaemin were just a regular human college student like you. But those aren’t the circumstances, and so you have to deal with Mark’s whiny ass showing up at your door to drag you to church.

“Mark, it’s Thursday night.” You groan, shaking your textbook at him. “I have work to do!” 

“Yeah, you also have praying to do.” Mark snaps, grabbing the book out of your hands. “Not like you even understand this.”

Which, ouch, that kind of hurts. Especially when Mark knows that you’re frustrated that you can’t get the subject down even though you try. You glare at him and reach for the book. “Mark, give it back. And I actually do understand this, Jaemin’s been helping-” “Helping what? Taint you? Turn you into one of their blood whores?” Mark grabs the book back and throws it across the room. “Y/n, come on. I’m not letting this happen to you too.” He pulls you after him despite your grumbling, though he at least has the decency to let you put shoes on. Just because you go freely doesn’t mean you’re happy about it, complaining as Mark drags you through the city. “Jesus Christ Mark, has it ever occurred to you that Donghyuck had free will? That he willingly chose to be with her because he loved her?” You’re fed up with Mark, fed up with everyone. “God Mark, they’re not that bad!” Mark stares at you for a moment. “What, they’re brainwashing you too? How is it that both you and your brother are so dumb? I know you weren’t raised like this.”

“Well at least I wasn’t raised to be such an ignorant asshole.” You snap. “I have the ability to make my own decisions, something you apparently lack.” “Oh, so what’s that supposed to mean?” Mark stops walking suddenly, crossing his arms as he waits for an answer. You open your mouth to yell at him when a flash of movement catches your eyes. Squinting, you make out a group of guys, and they’re close enough that you can hear them laughing when one of them wipes… is that blood on his mouth? “Mark, we have to go.” You whisper. The vampires don’t see you and you’re hoping that you can get the two of you out of there safely. “Come on-” “No, tell me what you mean!” Mark yells, stubbornly standing in place. You groan and try to drag him away but he doesn’t budge. “Come on y/n, tell me what you fucking mean.” You shoot a worried glance over your shoulder, surprised when you don’t see the vampires. There’s a second of relief, lasting only until you turn around to find them standing right behind Mark. You squeak in surprise. Mark freezes too, one of the men having grabbed him by the shoulders. His face presses way too close to Mark’s neck and you jump when you feel hands on your own shoulders.

“Aww, lover’s spat?” The guy holding Mark laughs. “That’s okay, we’ve all been there, right guys?” The rest of his friends cackle in the creepiest way that you can imagine. “Come on, we can resolve this.” You and Mark look back and forth between each other worriedly. There’s no way out of this, you realize. No way to even try. 

“Don’t you wanna know how we can resolve this?” This time the guy holding you speaks and it’s so close to your ear that you flinch, nearly jumping out of your skin. He laughs and his fangs graze your skin, but it doesn’t send pleasure through you like when Jaemin does it. It sends chills down your spine, makes you want to cry. “Answer me.” “N-no.” You stutter out, eyes squeezed shut in fear. “Please, just let us go.” The guy sighs and lets go of you. “Alright.” You and Mark share a look before bolting, adrenaline pumping through your veins. Freedom only lasts for a second before you’re being grabbed again, yanked backwards. 

“Stupid girl. I don’t appreciate being told no.” You whimper and you can hear Mark screaming your name, screaming for help, screaming for anything.

It’s the last thing you hear.

“Jaemin, you’re an idiot. Literally the dumbest person I know.” There’s a familiar voice swimming through your head and you try to move towards it, finding your entire body feels drained.

“Yes, I’ve been told.” Is that Jaemin’s voice? It sounds a lot clearer, drags you out of the darkness. “But look, it ended up being good, right? She’s alive.” You finally manage to pry your eyes open and immediately regret it, slamming them shut and curling into yourself. A groan leaves you and the two stop talking. “Y/N? Baby, it’s me.” There’s a hand on your cheek, brushing against the skin gently, and you press into his touch. “How are you feeling?” “Bad.” You croak out through a dry throat, cringing at how dry it feels. Jaemin laughs softly and something presses to your lips. “Here, drink this.”

You didn’t realize how hungry you were until you get the first taste, and then suddenly you find the strength in your body to take gulp after gulp of the drink. It brings a little bit of warmth to your body, makes you feel less achy. You even manage to pry your eyelids open.

Jeno and Jaemin greet you, both men looking relieved. Jaemin beams at you, dipping down for a kiss. “Hey baby.” “What happened?” You frown, trying to remember how you got to Jaemin’s couch. “Did I- I was walking to the church and we were attacked.” Oh shit, you weren’t alone. You search frantically around the room. “Did Mark- is he okay?” The thought of your best friend- no matter how strained your relationship was at the end- dying is too much for you to handle. 

Jaemin smiles. “He’s the one that brought you to me.”

“He’s okay?” Jeno nods in confirmation.

“They only wanted to kill for fun, guess you were enough.” Jeno says. “Speaking of killing, Jaemin has a lot of explaining to do. And since I don’t trust him to do a good job, I’m going to stay here!” You look between the two. “Kill? Am I- I’m dead?” Jaemin makes a face. “Fucking- I’m a vampire?” Your words come out shrill and the two boys cringe.

“Yeah, sorry.” Jaemin scratches the back of his neck. “My bad. But, um, I’ll take care of you! Don’t worry.” Then, to Jeno: “Come on man, can’t we have a second of peace? I literally never thought I was going to see her again.” Jeno sighs, glaring at his friend before walking away. “Dramatic.” 

You’re in Jaemin’s arms in the next second, held close to his chest. “Fuck y/n, I’m so sorry.” His voice is shaky and he keeps his face pressed into your neck. “This is all my fault, I don’t know how I’m going to make it up to you.” “We’ll figure it out later.” You tug at his hair to get him to look you in the eyes. “I almost died, Jaemin. Give me a headache later. Right now…” You trail off, letting your lips stretch wide. “Kiss me.” It draws a snort from Jaemin. “You were dead like an hour ago and now you want to fuck?” “No!” You whine and smack his chest. “I just want a kiss, get your mind out of the gutter.” Jaemin teases you some more, making you laugh and smack him to stop before you finally say fuck it and pull him closer, smashing your lips together. He smiles into the kiss, wrapping his arms around your body. You have a lot to worry about, but you’ve also got all the time in the world to worry about it. It makes you sick to think about, and for now, you want to just relax. Not that Jaemin seems to mind, happily letting you curl into his chest, stroking your head. You’re not alone, you have Jaemin, and you know he’ll help you through this.

+ You’re not expecting a welcome home party. You’re also not expecting to find all of your belongings scattered across the front yard, having very clearly been chucked from your bedroom window. 

“Lovely.” You scoff, staring at the mess. The front door has the biggest cross you’ve ever seen nailed to it, complete with the silver door knob that you promptly burn yourself on. You stare at the door, wondering if you should knock. It swings open before you make your mind up.

Mark stares back at you with wide eyes and parted lips. “Y/n? You’re alive?”

“Hey, Mark.” You smile, tight lipped. “Jaemin told me you saved me.”

Mark looks like he’s about to say something but then his mouth closes and he shakes his head. “Y/n, you- you’re a vampire now. I can’t.” Mark doesn’t look you in the eye when he says it and you scoff, rolling your eyes. “I’m sorry.” “I’m sorry.” You mock, shaking your head. “No you’re not. If you were sorry, you would fucking look me in the eyes.” He doesn’t. “You know it’s your fault I’m like this, right?” That gets him to look up at you. There’s fire in his eyes this time. “No, it’s your fault for whoring around with vampires.” You shake your head. “Who made me go to church that night?” He looks away and doesn’t answer the question. “Good bye, Mark.”

[ragingpancake]

Lietuenant Colonel Idiot And The Kastat Root Part 2

Part 1

The first thing John is aware of when he starts to come to is the quiet beeping of machines. He knows that that’s never a good sign but he feels floaty and warm so he has a hard time caring about what exactly landed him in the infirmary this time. He opens his eyes slowly, blinking against the overhead light, dim as it was in the moment but he doesn’t realize he’s made a noise until Teyla and Ronon quickly come into his line of vision. “Hi,” he manages, voice hoarse with disuse, and you know, probably from the tube they’d shoved down his throat to anesthetize him when Carson had cut him back open to clean him up a little. “Where’s… what happened?” He has a vague memory of a stomachache and of screaming but the pain meds they have him on makes it hard to think. It also makes it hard to sleep, so when Teyla tells him gently that he should go back to sleep and they’ll fill him in later, he doesn’t argue. He just closes his eyes and lets the darkness return.

-- It happens like that a couple of times before John finally, truly, wakes up. He thinks that it’s probably the pain that does it, that pulls him back to the land of the lucid, as Beckett has started weaning him off of the good stuff. He doesn’t remember much from those quick bursts of consciousness, but he does remember that while he’s seen Teyla and Ronon every time, he hasn’t once seen Rodney. Where’s Rodney? “Aye, Colonel,” Carson greets, leaning over as he adjusts John’s nasal cannula, Teyla and Ronon just visible over his shoulder. “Welcome back t’the land of the livin’, lad. How’re ya feelin’ this morning?” “Where’s Rodney?” He doesn’t miss the way Carson’s face shifts, just for a moment, nor does he miss the look shared by Teyla and Ronon. Something sits painfully in his gut at that and for one brief, horrible moment, he’s afraid that something happened to Rodney, something off-world, because Rodney was always here when he woke up, and-- “Settle down now,” Carson admonishes gently, and John is embarrassed to realize that the beeping on his heart rate monitor has sped up. “Rodney’s down in the labs, that’s all. He’s alright. The only one y’need to be worryin’ about now is yourself.” “How much do you remember?” Ronon asks and John can tell by the look on Teyla’s face that she’s not pleased at the question. It had been a routine mission, right? M3-X982, the Plesians, according to the ancient database. Not so routine if you ended up here, his brain reminds him and okay, fair enough. He takes a second and tries to think through the brain fog he always associates with the good drugs. He remembers the almost meatloaf and the bad jokes told by Plesia’s leader, Korom. He remembers the heat--. No. Not heat. The fever and the stomachache and--. Screaming. Hoarse screams, begging them to stop killing him, for Ronon to let him go, for Teyla to help him. And Rodney… Rodney, holding the dagger looking very much on the edge of a panic attack as he sliced through John’s skin, flaying him open. “Your appendix nearly ruptured,” Carson supplies, voice more gentle now. “Rodney recognized the signs fairly quickly but the doctor in Plesia was ill-equipped to operate.” “Doctor McKay very likely saved your life, John,” Teyla says, a fact she’s tried to get through to Rodney since their return. “Aye,” Carson agrees. “We had t’put ya under again to clean up a bit of infection and to right some suturin’, but he did bloody well considerin’ the circumstances.” “Then why… why isn’t he here?” Because no one has actually told him that much, but John can probably guess why. Guilt is a hell of a thing and John knows in an instant that he would’ve never wanted the roles reversed, would’ve never have wanted to have to--. “I need to talk to him,” and he’s not exactly thrilled with how desperate he sounds but he really doesn’t care right. He needs to talk to Rodney, needs to seehim, to tell him he did good. He starts pulling at all the leads and wires and Ronon is there again, a firm hand on his shoulder, urging him back down. “Let me talk to him first,” he says and even Teyla raises an eyebrow at that. Ronon isn’t exactly known for his uh, gentle nature, but when she meets John’s eyes, she gives him the slightest of nods. “Tell him to get his ass in here, or I’m gonna come find him myself,” John warns, but there’s no heat. The slight exertion has left him very nearly panting through a wave of pain. “I’ll be sure to pass on the message,” he says and without anything further, Ronon is gone. -- Rodney McKay isn’t known for his silence. He knows he’s a loud, obnoxious, abrasiveman even on his best day and yet ever since they’d returned from Plesia, he hadn’t been able to muster up the strength to even so much as raise his voice. It’s unnerving his scientists, he knows, but he doesn’t care. Mostly, he keeps to himself and keeps working, stopping only long enough for the occasional power nap and to replenish his supply of power bars. He’s just finished the aforementioned nap when Ronon finds

him, trudging back down to the laps to continue his work on the ancient device they’d found some time ago. He’s hoping that with enough tweaking, it can be used to send a patient into something sort of a temporary stasis, long enough to get them back through the Stargate where an actual fucking medical team can--. “McKay,” Ronon calls, but Rodney doesn’t stop. “Little busy, Chewie,” he calls over his shoulder but it lacks the usual McKay bite. “Sheppard’s awake.” Rodney does stop for that, but he doesn’t turn, shoulders tensing and he has to take a deep breath because he can feel something like panic trying to surge up again. “Is he--?” “Pissed? Yeah. Pissed that you weren’t there with us when he woke up.” “Well I’m sorry that some of us have actual work to do and can’t spend days--.” “You’re bein’ dumb.” Rodney whirls around at that, and he can feel the vein in his forehead throbbing in anger because he’s not--! He’s just--! “Sheppard probably wouldn’t have made it out of surgery without some major problems if we’d waited until the rain stopped. The Doc said so himself. Because of what you did, he’s got about another week of medicine and he’ll be back on his feet.” “I am not that kind of doctor,” Rodney reminds Ronon and he hates how he sounds in that moment, so, so upset. So weak. The weakest on the team, always. “You were the most qualified in that room to do what had to be done,” Ronon says and while that may actually be true, that won’t help when the nightmares come back. “You held it together better than either me or Teyla would’ve.” Rodney highly doubts that. “Listen,” Ronon says and this may be the most words Rodney’s heard him string together ever. “It sucked but it had to be done. You can’t keep beating yourself up for it.” We’ll see about that, Rodney thinks. “Thanks for the pep talk, Conan,” he says as he starts back for the labs. “You’re goin’ the wrong way. Infirmary’s that way.” Rodney doesn’t respond and he half expects Ronon to come after him, to throw him over his shoulder and haul him off to the infirmary, but a moment later, Rodney hears a quiet sigh and heavy footsteps falling away. He’s just not ready yet. -- Rodney might not be ready yet, but John’s never been the most patient person in the world. Especially not when it comes to Rodney. He’s tired, in pain, and annoyedby the time he makes it down to the labs, a trip that should’ve taken him five minutes on a good day but has taken nearly a half an hour for all the breaks he’s had to take to stop and lean against the wall. Carson’s going to have a field day when he comes back from surgery to find that John’s managed to sneak out, but he’ll just have to deal with that later. For now, the only thing he’s concerned about is Rodney. Atlantis takes pity on him and opens the door to the labs the minute she senses him approaching, allowing him to continue to hold on the wall as he slips inside and the minute he sees the slope of those shoulders in that blue shirt, any annoyance John had been feeling faded away. “Listen Teyla,” Rodney says and he sounds exasperated which leads John to believe that the Athosian has been down here plenty while he’s been holed up in the infirmary. He’s glad for that though. Means his people are taking care of each other. “I appreciate y--,” he turns and the words die in his throat. “Hi Rodney,” John greets, maybe a little dumbly and Rodney stands up so quickly that his stool topples backward. John thinks maybe he’s going to haul off and punch him, so he braces for impact, but when Rodney approaches, he grabs John’s arm and hauls it around his shoulder, giving him something else to lean against. “You’re supposed to be in the infirmary, you absolute idiot,” Rodney hisses and when he gets John seated on a stool, he moves to tap the communicator in his ear. “Rodney, wait!” And he reaches for the other, closing his hand around Rodney’s wrist. “Just… gimme a minute, okay?” Rodney hesitates, which is unusual for him. Rodney is always so sure of himself and quick to make

sure everyone knows it. Was this because of what happened on Plesia? “Listen,” John says and that’s about as far as he gets before Rodney is talking over him. “No! You listen, you, you, you irresponsible, stupid—” There’s a half a second that John wants to be offended and starts to respond in kind, but he stops himself because he realizes that Rodney needs this. That he’s been holding this in since they got back from that stupid planet. “You could have died! And not just from your stupid appendix, but your entire body could have gone into shock and you could have died! Because you were too stupid, too, too, too you to just go to the damn infirmary before we ever left!” “I know, Rodney and I’m –” “No! You don’t know. You have no idea!” He’s pacing now, wringing his hands together and John doesn’t think he’s ever seen him so upset. The thought that he’d been the one to cause that— “What if I’d been wrong, Sheppard? What if that had been for nothing? What if I’d—" “Rodney,” John says and he stands then, ignoring the way that the room spins just a little. “Listen to me, okay? I’m fine. You did everything right, and you probably saved me from a really shitty next few weeks, assuming I hadn’t died. I wouldn’t be sitting here right now if it wasn’t for you.” “But--.” “No buts,” John answers. “I’m sorry you had to do that, that I made you have to make that choice. You’re right, it was stupid to go off world without getting checked out first and I’m sorry, alright?” He reaches up, rubbing uncomfortably at the back of his neck. “I just… wanted to, you know, thank you for saving my ass out there. And to tell you that I’m really glad to know that no matter what, you’ve got my back.” And Rodney sags, all of the fight and the anger and maybe a little of the guilt too having gone out of him. “You’re… really alright?” “I’m really alright,” John promises him and this time, Rodney sags against the table, the tension leaving shoulders. “Thank God,” he breathes, and a breath later, “you owe me for this.” “Ah, there he is,” John says and he feigns annoyance, rolling his eyes. “No, no, you don’t understand. You owe me.” “I know, Rodney.” He doesn’t protest as Rodney comes around again, hauling John’s arm over his shoulder and as they begin to make their way from the science lab, back to John’s own quarters, John lets Rodney’s incessant babble wash over him. It felt good to hear it again, he realizes, even if he knows he’s never going to hear the end of this. And honestly? Well. He wouldn’t change that for anything in the world.

[sweetchup]

A Helping Hand 4: Ghosts of Pasts // Day 1

Type: Shalnark x reader

Au?: Savior Au

Word Count: 2,800+

Warnings: Reminsing of last chapter, Injury, Meteor City mentioned

Author Note: Ah! I’m glad to be back writing this series sorry for the long wait. I split chapter 4 up into multiple parts so it’s going to be looooong.

Also, I’ve started a Taglist for all of my series to make it easier for people to find out when the next installation is. So if you want the be added just sent me an ask thats not anonymous and I’ll add you.

<—(Pt.3) / (Pt.4.2)—>

A Helping Hand Masterlist

It was the eve of December 18th, when snow finally fell throughout the Republic of Padokea. However, there was no celebration or cheer by the citizens as all of the festive winter holidays had already passed by then. With most just deciding to bunker in for a quiet night at home. Even at the Hospital near the bloodthirsty Heaven’s Arena it was rather quiet, almost dull in a way.

Though, one specific doctor, Doctor (y/n) of the intensive care unit, had little to complain about the lack of patients and activity. It was rather refreshing actually, mostly due to the fact it was your last night on the job before you went on your week long holiday break, a break you had planned out with your supervisor months ahead of time.

Months before you had met a specific man. Much more specifically, a specific patient named Shalnark Ryuseih. A member of the infamous Phantom troupe who you had saved from his demise at the Heaven’s Arena.

…. As well as someone you might have developed a really really big crush on during your time taking care of him. But, that’s a story for another day and something you shouldn’t be worrying about right now. Especially since you still have plenty of time left on the clock before you go home.

As the seconds click a way, you find yourself letting out a groan. It was no use. You couldn’t get him out of your mind.

You just wished that it was the usual thoughts of Shalnark that festered in your mind during work. The ones that were caused from something as simple as him holding you in his arms tighter than usual while he slept one night or perhaps a teasing comment he shot at you while passing in the hall.

But that sadly wasn’t the case.

For the last couple of weeks, Shalnark had been acting…… weird.

Well he technically always acted weird—a man who actually enjoyed indulging in birthday cake flavored ice cream could not be considered normal in your book— but this time, he was actually acting quite strange.

Sometimes, when doing check ups or just visiting his room you could hear him sigh. It was quite unnoticeable at first, you had just thought he was frustrated with some new tech thing he got into, but as December went on the sigh only got heavier and more frequent. This was also when some of Shalnark’s other actions started to be strange as well, something as simple as,“What are you doing for the Holidays?” Or, actually now that you think about it, anything that was remotely related to the holidays would have the corner of his lips drop slightly. Something very strange for him, for he hardly faltered that smile of his.

And it wasn’t as if you weren’t trying to find out what was wrong. You had asked him plenty of times about his new habits. Though, in a Shalnark fashioned way, he would just brush you off with a grin and be confused as to what you were talking about.

So, if Shalnark isn’t going to tell you himself what was wrong. You were just going to have to take it upon yourself to make him feel better. Emotional health is just as important as physical health in your book.

“For the last time (y/n), I hope you know what you are getting yourself into.” Mal reminds you for the 15th time since you entered her office space.

“Yes, yes. I understand, don't worry about it.” You reassure the older woman as you continue to fill in the blanks to finish up the paperwork. All the while attempting to ignore her as she nags your ear off. “Okay I’m done. Thanks by the way Mal, I really owe you one”

As Mal takes the paperwork from your hands, she gives you one last warning of caution,

“I know Shalnark is under your care and all, and you have gotten pretty close to him during his stay…. but don’t you think having him leave with you for vacation is a little much? It’s legal, for some odd reason, but you should be careful. Not only is he a grown man that could try anything while you are alone with him but if any of the higher ups hear about this, you could get in a lot of trouble.”

“True, but I doubt that,” You hum out as you fumble with grabbing your winter coat off the rack, “The higher ups don’t exactly care much about paperwork unless one of the secretaries, like yourself, reports something. So unless you choose to report me, I don’t have much to worry about.”

“Fine. Just…. be careful. I swear you have been getting more and more reckless the more you spend with that man.”

“I will. Don’t worry, Mal. See you in a week!!”

“Okay, see you in a week.” Mal responds back, her wave goodbye immediately faltering as you close the door. Taking a deep breath to calm down the uneasy feeling in her gut, She just hoped you knew what you were doing.

Once Mal sends you off, you make your way in the direction of Shalnark’s room. You are excited to tell him about your little surprise but also quite scared because you did not exactly ask him… permission…. to sign him out.

“Come in.” Shalnark's voice rings out from behind the door as you knock. Coming into the room, you see that, as per normal, Shalnark was clicking away at his laptop. He seemed busy with something since even when you took the seat at his bedside he couldn’t seem to tear his eyes away from the screen.

After a couple more minutes of listening to the clicking of keys, Shalnark finally closes his laptop and turns his attention to you.

“Hello (y/n)! What brings you in here today?” He asks, resting his chin on one of his hands as he observes you. As Shalnark scans you up and down you can’t help but notice the mischievous look in those blue eyes of his. You kind of wondered what he was thinking, or possibly planning, but then again— knowing Shalnark —you didn’t want to know what was running through that brain of his.

“Can’t I just visit you?”

“I guess you could.” Shalnark comments halfheartedly as if you don’t already visit him for fun on the daily already, “I’m just surprised you haven’t gone home for your vacation. It’s your last shift tonight, right?”

Shalnark might have asked the last part as a question, but you already knew— from tons of experience with dealing with him —that he already formed his own answer in his head.

“Missed me that much huh?...” Shalnark whispers out, his eyes seeming to sparkle under the light as he leans back against the headboard of his bed.

“S-shut up.” You grumble out. Swiftly putting the paperwork in your hand up to your face as you could already feel your cheeks begin to flare up from flusteration. You swore this man had no sense of fear or dignity.

“Hmm?” You feel Shalnark grab at the paperwork wrinkled in your hand; recognizing his photo ID on the cover. “What’s this?”

“Paperwork.”

“What type of Paperwork?” Shalnark presses forward, already taking it from your hand to examine it. No matter how close you two have gotten during his stay, he has always been extremely thorough about looking at what you put down on his paperwork. Must be something he picked up while being in the troupe you guessed.

Suddenly, you see Shalnark’s gaze pause on a section of the paperwork. His body unintentionally freezing up in surprise as he rereads it again. However, instead of instantly asking or explaining his confusion, your eyes are trained to his lips, ever so slightly parted due to confusion.

Unconsciously, you run your fingers over your neck. Your mind flashing back to what happened when Shalnark was under the effect of the aphrodisiac drug. The tingly feeling of his lips raking up and down your neck. Kissing, sucking and biting at any possible skin he could—

“(Y/n), What is this?” He mumbles out, his eyes still trained to the paperwork.

“U-uh Well…” You pause for a second as you try to calm yourself down from your thoughts, thinking about what you should exactly say, “Recently, I’ve noticed you being quite down. Kind of depressed or miserable in a way—”

“Huh? I haven’t been depressed.” Shalnark exclaims, snapping out of the trance he was in as well as cutting off what you were saying.

“Let me finish idiot.” You grumble at Shalnark, flicking his forehead in anger. “Also even if you aren’t depressed—“

“Which I’m not.”

“...Do you want to get punched this time?” You threatened, watching as Shalnark suddenly broke out in a cold sweat. Memories flashing in his head of Lara pissing you off and facing your unwavering wrath. After one last glare, you continued what you were explaining, “As I was saying, Even if you aren’t depressed, it would be good for you to get out of the hospital. Hence why I decided to sign you out for my vacation week.”

It’s silent in the room as Shalnark just stares at you; an unreadable expression on his face. However, before you can figure out what expression it was, he quickly snaps out of it.

“Oh nice. That’s actually awesome.” Shalnark announces out, letting out a small giggle. “Just one question though… Is this even legal?”

“In a way…” You squeak out, watching as Shalnark looks at you with a knowing smile. Clearly understanding that you were pressing the line of legality and a possible felony in this situation.

“Well,” You watch as Shalnark shuffles out of bed; Planting his feet in front of yours before sending you a subtle wink, “Let’s get out of here before we get caught, okay?”

—.—.—.—.—.—

“So,” Shalnark starts, looking at the small white townhouse in front of him, “This is your house?”

“Um. Yeah?” You answer questioningly as you fiddle with your keys, “What about it?”

“Oh nothing.” You watch as Shalnark squats down in front of the garden gnome next to your tomato plant. Seeming to take in the plethora of plants covering your front patio. “It’s cute. I like it.”

“Thanks.” You mumble out bashfully as you unlock the front door, “I only rent the bottom floor of this place so it's quite small. But it's home.”

Before you enter, You offer a hand to help Shalnark up (He still has quite the injury in his legs after all) and watch as he walks inside your house; a limp still ever present as he walks. You just hope that he doesn’t push himself too far while with you. He might be a nen user but—

“Oh wow!” Shalnark’s voice calls out from inside the house, breaking your train of thoughts as you shut and lock the door. Confused yet curious at what he found interesting in your house, you slipped off your shoes—taking a small mental note that you should tell Shalnark to take off his as he forgot to— and walked over to his location. As you round the corner of the hall and gaze into your living room, you can’t help but let out a huff of a laugh. You can’t believe you totally forgot about Chloe.

There she stood, your 8 year old Sphynx cat that a college roommate had given you years ago, curled up in a fluffy blanket on top of her cat tree. Shalnark stood in front of the tree, looking up at the cat with an amused look as it glared down at him.

“Chloe.” You call out to your cat as you make your way next to Shalnark, “Come here baby.”

As you lift the cat off the tower, still wrapped in a blanket, and cradle her in your arms, you feel your breath hitch for a second. You turn your head as you feel a sudden pressure on your back and see Shalnark leaning over your shoulder. You stood there frozen and flustered, unable to move or look away from his face, from how close he was to you. However, Shalnark doesn’t notice how flustered you are; his attention focused on the cat in your arms. Eventually, he brings his hand down to pet her. Watching curiously as she sniffs his hand for a second before allowing him to touch her.

“They truly don’t have any fur…” Shalnark muses out as he rubs at Chloe’s ears, causing you to smile as you feel the rumbling of her purrs against your chest. “Hey (y/n)... did you know these guys are actually from Meteor city?”

“Wait… Really?” You shout out surprised, finally snapping out of the trance you were in.

“Yep!” Shalnark states rather proudly, “They were caused by accidental breeding by abandoned cats in the junkyards. …Though, the ones from Meteor city are quite rabid and terrifying so you can’t pet them like this. They would surely kill you.”

Startled, you give Shalnark a confused look, “No way…You're joking…”

“Nope.” He responds, popping the ‘p’ at the end as he walks away from you two and takes a seat on the couch. Your back suddenly feeling quite cold now that he was no longer next to you. “Even our toughest members like Phinks and Feitan were scared of those things.”

“Oh wow…“ You mumble out in amazement, placing Chloe back at the top level of the cat tree before taking a seat next to Shalnark. “...Meteor City sure sounds scary.”

“Eh, in a way.” Shalnark sighs out, stretching his back before suddenly resting his head on your lap. Startled at the act of affection, you freeze and stare down at him. Your mouth agape in shock. What… What was he doing?

“Oh.” Shalnark murmurs out as he takes note of your expression, already beginning to sit up, “Sorry, I stepped over a line didn’t I—”

“Ah! No!” You shout out, startling the both of you at how loud you were, “I mean… uh. I don’t mind, it just surprised me that’s all.”

“Oh. Okay?” Shalnark says, raising an eyebrow at you. As he sees your still worried expression looking down at him as he lays back down, he decides to flick at your forehead, surprising you. You two stare at each other for a couple of seconds before breaking out into light laughter at your stupid expression.

“W-what was that huh?”

As your laughter eventually stops, leaving you two in a comfortable silence, you stare down at Shalnark; his arms lazily crossed above his head with his eyes shut.

“You know…” You start, a stifle of a giggle sneaking up as a funny thought crosses your mind, “...You remind me of a cat right now.”

“Oh really?” Shalnark huffs out amused, popping one of his eyes open to gaze up at you.

“Yeah. All elongated on the couch, looking like you're about to fall fast asleep… Just like a little kitty cat.” You cooed out at him, taking two strands on the opposite sides of his head to form cat ears.

Shalnark sputters out a laugh before sending you a wink, “Go on. Give me a pet, Doc.”

You feel yourself freeze up as everything that has happened in these last couple of minutes hits you like a truck. Shit… You're his doctor, you idiot. This was what Mal was talking about about you getting too close with him. You have feeling for him but you can’t—

“Hey (y/n). You know…” Shalnark murmurs out, snapping you out of your thought, “One day…, I would like to take you to Meteor City.”

“R-really?” You answered, confused as where this was suddenly coming from.

“Yeah…” You watch as Shalnark eyes shift up towards the ceiling. His eyes unfocused and expression dazed as if he was off in a distant memory, “Not right now… But, In the spring…”

A smile slowly edges its way onto his face.

“Yeah… The spring,” He murmurs out again, sort of to himself, before looking at you, “You wouldn’t believe what it is like in Meteor City at the start of spring, (Y/n)... After a long hard rainy winter, seeds from rotten food, or hidden in garbage, come blooming out. It hardly lasts a month but… It’s gorgeous….”

As he stares up at you with those dazzling blue eyes of his, you can’t help but finally allow your hand to rest in his blonde locks. Wanting to understand more about that far off memory he had.

“I-I…” You murmur out, pausing as a small smile comes upon your face, “I can’t wait… Shal. Do… Do you think you could tell me more about your home while I wait?”

Just…

Just one more time, you’ll let your affections slide.

Allowing yourself to blur the lines of professionalism and wanting more.

Taglist: @meromelodi, @quartetstarheaven, @yumezai, @lvndrhwis, @writtenappreciation , @jojo-sinner, @pastelbear12, @aly-kurta, @bbunnycore, @feifood

[caswellprmanager]

drawbridge

read it on ao3

Ship: Ricky Bowen/EJ Caswell

Summary: Snippets of EJ Caswell's life leading up to the mystery that is Ricky Bowen.

Notes: Hello. I decided to bite the bullet and post something here! This technically is in my Trans!EJ and Genderqueer!Ricky AU but I haven't properly written anything for it yet so consider this one to be the first official fic within that universe. Feel free to send some asks or other headcanons in my inbox about the AU! I'd love to hear what people think (but don't be unnecessarily mean. I will delete that very quickly.)

Disclaimer: I'm not an expert in all things transgender or genderqueer. I am writing from my own experience within the spectrum however so it's truthful to what I have been through, but will not represent everyone else's experiences. I also have friends within the spectrum who have given me great advice on how to go about these things but once again, it won't be accurate to everyone's experiences.

Warnings: Mentions of gender dysphoria, transphobia, and neglectful parents

People always told EJ that he had the picture perfect family.

His mom and dad were successful corporate lawyers, they lived in the wealthiest suburb in all of Salt Lake City, and he was the kind of child other parents would compare their own children to saying, "why can't you be more like EJ?"

But EJ knows that's farthest from the truth.

He doesn't have the picture perfect life or the paragon of White American families that people think they do. His parents are affectionate and supportive only when there are people around to comment on it. Most of the time, they're not even at home, leaving all of the child raising to their maids and other house servants. EJ spends more time at Ashlyn's house than he does at home because at least his aunt and uncle actually treat him like a son.

Because there are days his parents would forget they have a son. Sometimes they'd slip and call him their daughter, which makes EJ want to disappear from this world altogether. He supposes he should be grateful that they even bothered to pay for all the things he asked for — binders, testosterone shots, and regular visits to the doctor to check up on him throughout his transition. And he is grateful. He knows so many kids like him that can't even afford a decent sized binder without going bankrupt. He used to be that kid until he gathered up all his courage to come out to his parents.

But what they told him?

"Well, if you're gonna be our son, you will have to work twice as hard to make us proud now."

Yeah. It's a lot to process when you're 12 years old and scared shitless that you'd be disowned for "disrupting the natural order." But he figures things could be worse. So he sucks it up and vows to become the kind of son that his parents could truly brag about.

When EJ was a kid, he loved mysteries. His parents were the greatest mystery of them all. He's spent so much of his time trying to figure out what makes them happy, or angry, or sad. He's put the clues together and has a cork board of pictures and red string at the forefront of his mind whenever he so much as tries to interact with them. Soon, he sort of figured out what makes his parents smile at him — when EJ is excellent.

So, he became excellent at all kinds of sports, took up piano lessons, studied until his eyeballs burned with the lowlight of his desk lamp — all so that he could maybe get a pat on the back from his dad and a small smile from his mom. Their versions of "good job" or "keep it up." He drank that all in, craved it even, and worked his whole life until now to get even an iota of his parents' affection.

So, when he meets Ricky Bowen, the lanky and extremely clumsy skater who seems to live in the detention room, he was met with a brand new mystery to solve.

"Who's that?" EJ whispers into Nini's ear, who just seems to be irritated by the new person's presence.

"That's Ricky," she says with the barest hint of affection but with a whole lot of irritation. "My ex."

"Huh," He says, intrigued by the way Ricky's movements stutter like a half-finished stop motion film and how their wide doe eyes scan the room like — unironically — a deer in headlights. They looked nervous, confused, and all around terrified and EJ wants to reach out to them and tell them that this was a safe space. That they could be whoever they wanted to be in the theater.

He glances at Nini when Ricky starts singing a song that she seems to recognize. The immediate tensing of her shoulders and the way she subconsciously reaches out for EJ's hand for support tells him that this song... means something. Or meant something. EJ's not quite sure but he squeezes Nini's hand in silent reassurance, bringing himself to half-glare at the guitar playing skater just a few feet before him.

--

He met Nini during theater camp. A firecracker of talent with a voice that could melt the heart of even the coldest man on earth. She was beautiful in the spotlight and even more ethereal beneath the stars. She was kind, gentle, and a mystery that EJ solved quickly enough. She wore her heart on her sleeve despite it being broken because she believes that broken hearts can be mended with time and patience.

Nini was patient with him. She was patient with him when he took her up the little hill next to the campsite just to watch the stars on an old picnic blanket he stole from the camp counselors. She was patient with him when he couldn't keep up with the dance steps. Her hand was warm in his own and the flush of her palm by his neck was a grounding force that kept his head from going in the clouds.

She was especially patient with him when he took her to an empty tent and told her about his life. Nini was kind. Nini was patient. Nini was safe. And if she were to walk away and tell him that she wanted nothing to do with him after what he told her, he would have understood and learned to not associate kind brown eyes and ukulele calloused fingers to what could be barely described as home.

But she held his hand in her tinier ones, a smile on her face that radiated warmth that seeped into the depths of his soul, and told him that she was proud of him.

It was the first time that someone was proud of him... for just being him.

He cried into her arms that night, knowing he's got a lifelong friend within the kind brown eyes and ukulele calloused fingers of one Nini Salazar-Roberts.

--

"She thinks I'm a Chad?" He asks, less incredulously and more with a burning curiosity.

Nini rubs his arm comfortingly but he keeps staring at the cast list like it was going to burst into flames any second. "You're still a Troy understudy! You could still go on as him in one of the shows."

"Shows only run for three nights, Nini." He says with barely concealed frustration. Great. If he can't even get the role he was technically destined to play, how the hell is he going to explain himself to his parents?

You're not the lead? Oh, then we won't watch. If you're not onstage the whole time, why be there?

EJ grits his teeth and slowly brings his gaze to the person who has just taken away one more way for him to prove himself to his parents. Ricky Fucking Bowen, who stands there once again with their enormous brown eyes, gaping like a fish. EJ wants to deck them in the face. But Nini's hold on his arm grounds him back to reality and he lets out a long breath through his nose.

This is gonna be a long next few months.

--

"Look, I'm just trying to make the best out of a bad situation."

"Don't try," He ends up saying, still wiping at the blood caused by the basketball Ricky hit him with only moments ago. "It's painful to watch you do something you clearly don't want to do."

"What makes you think I don't want to do this?" Ricky asks with furrowed brows and EJ throws the wadded up tissue paper stained with his blood into the trash.

"You hated musicals before you auditioned. You landed the part of Troy without even fucking trying. And now you think you can get through rehearsals without fucking trying? It's tiring to work with someone who couldn't give two shits about this musical in the first place!" He says, every sentence rising in volume as he steps closer and closer to Ricky. "You also need to stay the fuck away from Nini."

Ricky scoffs then. "Why? Cause you're her boyfriend?"

"What? And you are?" He retaliates, which effectively makes Ricky click their mouth shut. EJ smirks. "Yeah. That's what I thought."

"Nini can choose whoever she wants to talk to." Ricky ends up saying with tense shoulders and a glare that could murder if EJ weren't already a person who doesn't fear death. "You can't tell me what to do."

"Well someone has to!" EJ throws his hands up in frustration, grabbing his jacket and zipping it up angrily. "Because you don't listen to Nini though, do you? Have you ever listened to her? Do you listen to anybody?"

"EJ I—"

"You better listen to me right now Ricky Bowen," he laces every syllable of Ricky's name with venom. "Stop trying to make things right. Stop trying to become a person you're not. If you actually cared about Nini or – god forbid – the musical, you'd stop trying and just get your shit together."

EJ doesn't even bother to look back at Ricky as he exits the bathroom, unaware of the look in Ricky's eyes when he walked away.

--

It isn't until Ricky approaches him one day after rehearsals that EJ was finally starting to unravel the mystery that was Ricky Bowen.

"Hey... EJ?" Ricky asks, looking at anywhere but at him and EJ would have been annoyed if it weren't for the way Ricky was holding themselves in front of him. They were tense, eyes glassy and unfocused whenever EJ caught a glance, and their fingers were gripping their bag straps so tightly that he was afraid Ricky was going to rip it apart if they weren't careful.

"Hey Ricky," He says with a softer voice than he's ever used with Ricky. "Is there something you need?"

Ricky's eyes dart around the still full rehearsal room, at the dangerously close proximity Miss Jenn was, at the stage managers that were just behind EJ who were reviewing the blocking notes, and finally at Nini who was engaged in a conversation with Carlos and Seb. Ricky's eyes lingered on Nini for a bit before they reluctantly settled on EJ's pristine white sneakers. "I would have normally asked Nini for this but – and you can say no by the way I'd completely understand – it's just..."

Ricky looks around again before leaning closer to EJ and shakily whispering, "Do you have any tampons?"

And just like that, the walls that were built around a certain Ricky Bowen were starting to crack. And EJ was allowed to see the smallest snippet of the kind of vulnerability that Ricky was capable of.

And it was the kind of vulnerability that he could relate to completely.

"My emergency stash is in my locker," He says, hastily packing up the rest of his things while Ricky continues to stand there dumbfounded. When EJ turns back to him with his own bag over his shoulder, he could see that there are a few unshed tears shining in Ricky's eyes. EJ softens for a second, knowing how difficult it must have been for Ricky to come to him for something so private.

"Come on. I'll even guard the bathroom for you." Ricky eventually follows him after a few seconds of just staring at his back and they fall in step around the corner. Ricky stays silent, fingers all fidgety and eyes still darting around like they'll be caught any second. EJ, instinctually, wraps a comforting arm around Ricky's shoulders. Ricky doesn't relax immediately but they do lean a little closer, somehow finding the weight of EJ's arm around them safe.

They eventually reach EJ's locker and Ricky smiles a bit because it's directly across from Sharpay's famous pink lockers. "Did you choose this spot specifically for Sharpay's lockers?"

EJ glances behind him and chuckles, rummaging through his stuff. "Oh yeah. If you say Ashley Tisdale three times in a row while touching her locker, you're guaranteed good fortune for at least a week."

Ricky looks at him with a smirk. "Have you tried that before?"

"Every year during finals week. I'm telling you, that shit works."

"Or maybe you're just really smart."

"Maybe," EJ says, finally locating his emergency stash of period essentials. "Or maybe it's just Ashley Tisdale bopping me to the top."

That's when Ricky lets out a laugh — an honest to god booming belly laugh that makes EJ pause just to stare at him. They look... nice like this. Without the worry lines and longing gazes at a girl who won't give them the time of day. They look just like a little kid, carefree and alive despite the world crumbling all around them, and EJ feels a weird surge of pride at being the person who made Ricky laugh like that.

He wants Ricky to laugh like that more. He wants to be the person who makes Ricky laugh like that more.

And so the walls around Ricky crack a little further, and the drawbridge is opened for one weary traveler to come in.

EJ doesn't notice the cracks on his own walls, nor the knowing little princess who watches from the east tower, smiling.

--

"Hey, what are your pronouns?"

Ricky doesn't look up from their practice skateboard, concentrating hard on their balance. "I don't have any. I'm just Ricky." They look up though, giving EJ a warm smile. "But go ahead and use any pronouns with me. I don't mind if it's you."

"So would you mind if I call you your majesty?"

EJ doesn't miss the flush on Ricky's cheeks at that and definitely doesn't miss the way they say "I'd like that very much." with the barest hint of embarrassment.

"Okay," EJ says with his chin propped up in his hands. "Your majesty."

Ricky falls off of their practice skateboard then, soon glaring up at a cackling EJ still with a blushing face.

--

EJ forgot his binder today.

And his body loved reminding him every time he took a step.

Thankfully, there wasn't going to be water polo practice today and he could get away with wearing multiple layers to school. But even with the sports bra, the t-shirt, the sweatshirt, and the letterman jacket doing a good job at making his chest look flat, he still felt his skin crawl looking at the mirror. His jeans hugged him a little too tightly, forcing him to notice the still feminine curve of his hips. His sports bra was a tad smaller than the last time he wore it, so the pinch at his chest doubled in size.

EJ resolved that he was not going to have a good day today.

But today was tech rehearsals and he couldn't ditch that. He was starting to really enjoy rehearsals now that he and Ricky are on good terms. Even the stage managers ask him to hang out with them time to time outside of rehearsals. EJ actually felt like... he really belonged somewhere now. And he wasn't going to let this ruin it for him. Not today.

"Hey EJ," He heard Nini say to him as he got out of his car. "What's with all the layers? It's pretty hot today."

"It's one of those days, Neens." He says with a heavy sigh and Nini just grabs his hand and gives it a reassuring squeeze. Ricky rolls up to them two seconds later, their head suspiciously missing a helmet.

"How many times do I have to tell you to wear a helmet when you're skateboarding, Ricky?" EJ tries to scold the junior despite this weirdly overwhelming fondness growing inside of him every time he even looks at Ricky now.

"Haven't gotten into an accident yet," Ricky shrugs, smiling politely at Nini and changing it into a cocky little smirk the second they look at EJ.

"Yet being the operative word here," EJ rolls his eyes and opens his trunk for Ricky to stash his board in for later. "I won't drive you to the hospital if you end up getting a concussion for not wearing a helmet."

"Yes you will." Ricky says, knocking their shoulders together. "You love me!"

EJ freezes for a bit but before he could even respond, Ricky is already catching up to Big Red and Gina, waving back at EJ and Nini with a wide grin. EJ stares at him for a few seconds, not quite sure how to process the last few moments, until Nini waves a hand in front of his face.

"Hello? Earth to EJ?"

"Huh?"

"Care to share with the class what's going on?" The little smirk on her lips says it all and EJ was not going to fall for that.

"Nope. There's nothing to share."

"Mhm," She says, looping her arm around EJ as soon as he closed his trunk. "Of course there isn't, EJ." Nini pretends not to see EJ staring at Ricky as they walk into school. EJ pretends to not notice that she's pretending to not see EJ pretending to not overtly stare at Ricky.

Besides, EJ has gotten pretty good at pretending.

--

Aaaannndd that's it for now. I hope you guys liked that! I really enjoyed exploring trans!ej and genderqueer!ricky through this au and it means a lot to me. Maybe next time I'll write something in ricky's pov but for now thanks for reading !!

[tipsycad147]

Sleep Paralysis. Legends, Dangers and Magic

By The Alchemist

Sleep Paralysis sounds pretty modern as a term. However, it’s old as time. Nocturnal Witches, both ancient and modern, are quite familiar with both the term and the state itself. Priests and Priestesses of the Ancient Times, knew all about this pretty frightening state. What did they know back then? Do we know the whole truth? This article will try to shed some witchy light on this dark subject.

Sleep Paralysis and Nocturnal Witchcraft

The Nocturnal Witchcraft is full of surprises, dangers and opportunities. Although it’s not for everyone, the Craft of the Night is enticing and has so much to teach all of us. We’ve learned the Light is Good and Darkness is Bad. This mistaken belief is what tears us apart from the inside. You see, Darkness is as good as the Light. Both give us the balance we need. Don’t be mistaken. Darkness is essential. Do not mess Darkness with Evil. Don’t give in religious propaganda. Light can also be evil and deceiving.

Green Witchcraft II: Balancing Light & Shadow, by Llewellyn Publications, get it from Amazon here

In the Ancient times, priests of the God of Healing, Asclepius, used to initiate a sleep state for their worshippers in order to find the cure of their disease. Darkness was essential to find the cure. Moreover, priests of Hades, God of the underworld, went over a similar procedure in order to contact the Souls of the Dead and learn more. Darkness is equally sacred as the Light.

Sleep Paralysis in Witchcraft and the Old Religion

The first documented account of Sleep Paralysis is written on a Chinese book of Dreams in the 4th century b.C. Since then, ancient Greek and Roman doctors have written about this experience. Sleep paralysis was always linked with supernatural forces and entities from another Realm.

Sleep Paralysis ONLY occurs at Night.

This is quite interesting and it was noticed from the ancient times too. That’s where the word ‘nightmare’ comes from!

What Does ‘Nightmare’ means?

The world ‘nightmare’ which now just means bad dream, is actually a world for Sleep Paralysis. It comes from ‘night’ and the Scandinavian ‘mara‘, which is the female demon, a succubi, who loves to sit on a sleeping person’s chest, suffocating him or her. This creature is also known as ‘the Night Hag‘, ‘Old Mara‘ or ‘the Old Hag‘. It’s difficult not to notice the same word, ‘mara‘ is the sanskrit word to describe the Lord of Evil, similar to ‘Satan‘.

victim of sleep paralysis and astral demons

Astral Demons and Sleep Paralysis

All over the World, the same story goes on and on. In most cases a spirit sits on your chest trying to such your vital energy. Most of the times this is a female entity but in many cases it’s also a male or an animal entity. Due to Witchcraft, these entities might either be:

Astral Demons feasting on someone’s astral energy

Psychic / Astral vampires draining your vitality

Evil Witches attacking their victim causing a ‘psychic attack’, probably engaging in Witch Wars

An Evil Witch’s familiar attacking the witch’s victim causing a ‘psychic attack’, probably engaging in Witch Wars

Who is Old Mara. A Night Demon of misty Scandinavia

According to the Nordic belief, ‘Mara’ is a damned woman who is cursed to travel around at nights and sit on villagers’ chests, causing them nightmares while snuffing their vital energy. Hence, she is a succubus, a female astral demon of vampiric nature.

One of the oldest yet very famous artwork of sleep paralysis, is Henry Fuseli’s 1781 painting ‘The Nightmare’. This painting features probably all the infamous symptoms of sleep paralysis. In this painting we can clearly see a demon – ‘Mara’ – sitting on the chest of sleeping lady. What we can also see are several quite strange and otherworldly creatures sneaking in her bedroom.

The Astral Demon of the Night in Melanesia

Far far away from Norway, in Melanesian islands, sleep paralysis is interpreted as ‘kana tevoro‘ which literally means getting eaten by the demon. Again, this is a damned spirit who is somehow bound in the material plane becoming a hungry ghost to haunt the living relatives who keep grudge with.

According to their customs, this possession might get handy! Hence, people around should say ‘kania, kania‘ which means ‘eat, eat!‘ in an attempt to prolong the possession and have the chance to chat with the soul hence looking for answers in the matter of why he or she has returned.  Here’s when it get’s even creepier. The individual awakening from the experience is asked to pursue the soul of the dead relative. This confrontation is believed to be the only solution. There is actually a 2014 short movie about that story!

The Astral Demon around the Mediterranean Sea

In Greece, it is believed that sleep paralysis occurs when a demonic old lady named Mora (again remember sanskrit Mara, the devil), sits on the victims chest trying to steal it’s breath and energy. A little South from Greece, in Egypt, this spirit is believed to be the spirit of an evil African Queen (probably one who possessed magical powers like Bilqis – Queen of Sheeba ). In Turkish culture, sleep paralysis is often referred to as karabasan (“the dark presser/assailer”).

Nightmare (1800) after Henry Fuseli’s The Nightmare (1781).

Night Witches, Witch Trials and Sleep Paralysis

Sleep paralysis was used as ‘evidence’ during the Witch Craze in Salem. In 1692 accused witch Susan Martin had told Robert Downer that “some She-Devil would shortly fetch him away”. About that night, Robert Downer said that “as he lay in his bed, there came in at the window, the likeness of a cat, which flew upon him, took fast hold of his throat, lay on him a considerable while, and almost killed him.”

According to these accounts, Evil Witches brought demons, who possessed these people causing them sleep paralysis.

What is Sleep Paralysis?

But first things first. Let’s give a definition. Sleep paralysis is the feeling similar to waking up, hence being conscious yet unable to move or speak from a few seconds up to a few minutes. Some people may also feel pressure on their chest, belly or a weird sense of choking. It occurs when a person passes between stages of sleep.

When does it Occur?

Most likely, Sleep paralysis occurs in the Nighttime. It usually happens during the Witching Hour, which makes things even more ‘magically’ complicated.

A Witch’s View on ‘Sleep Paralysis’

Sleep Paralysis is indeed a bewitching time. No matter how hard scientists try to explain what is happening, the stories speak for themselves. Yes it can be traced back to the transitions or REM and NREM sleep states, yet this does not excludes the magical phenomena which co-exist.

These hypnagogic states, were always useful in Witchcraft, as we have managed to isolate our senses, paralyzed our material bodies in order to have full access to our magical potential and astral energy. ‘Sleep Paralysis’ can be caused with Hypnosis as it’s such a powerful state of awareness. In fact, deep meditation tries to imitate this state.

As previously discussed in our article on Astral Projection “…the Truth though is that, Sleep Paralysis is only a step before Astral Projection. While in Sleep Paralysis, your body is totally relaxed but the Astral Body is activated. Thus your magical and psychic powers are on alert identifying entities and creatures around you of the same essence, the astral essence. Of course it comes natural to get scared by a negative entity therefore wake up and remember what you’ve experienced in the state of Sleep Paralysis.”

In other words, sleep paralysis is much more common. You are just more capable of remembering a scary experience rather than a relaxing one.

Conclusions:

YES, these scary creatures you see are real. They are actually astral demons and vampiric entities.  That’s why we have protection rites all over our magazine.

YES, these entities try to suck your energy either you’re sleeping or not.

NO, this is not what causes the paralysis. You are just transiting between sleep conditions. It’s a hypnagogic state EXTREMELY useful.

YES, thanks to your higher awareness due to sleep paralysis, you are able to recognize these creatures.

YES, you are safe! Especially when in sleep paralysis or while astral traveling you are more protected than usual because you are more aware of your spiritual self and you can conjure powers from your Guardian Angel.

Witchy Solution: In order to protect yourself from these entities, one needs to place a silver dime under his/her pillow. Silver is believed to keep vampiric demons away.

In conclusion Sleep Paralysis is safe and the doorway to the Astral Plane.

Have you Ever Experienced Sleep Paralysis?

https://www.magicalrecipesonline.com/2018/05/sleep-paralysis-legends-dangers-and-magic.html

[faustonastring]

Sorry for making you wait @kyogrl ! I hope you like it!

Main six taking care of a pregnant Mc

Asra

He’s got a tea for everything. Nauseous? He’s got ya. Moody? He’s got one for that too. Tired? Lay down as rest your head, he’s got you covered. And if you don’t like tea? He’s got some magical drink that will do the same thing don’t you worry

He’s got some type of magick for everything if I’m being honest. Magick tea? Check. Magick blanket? Yep. He’ll ask the magican, or his parents for Magick advice. (He also asks his parents for regular advice, which is greatly appreciated) also he loves cuddling, and uses it as any excuse so you can stay in bed and rest longer.

When the time is comes, he’s holding your hand the whole time, coaching you through it, and encouraging you, just like how he was during your whole pregnancy. He just wants to be there for you and support you, no matter how far along are you.

Nadia

As soon as she finds out that your pregnant, she’s hiring the best doctors and staff to make sure nothing happens to you or your baby, because if were being honest Nadia wants to be there with you throughout your whole pregnancy but she can’t because she’s the countess, and she’s busy. But she does make some extra time for the both of you.

You don’t have to lift a finger. If you want or need something, a servant is already brining it your way. In the earlier months of your pregnancy Nadia still lets you roam the palace freely at your leisure, but further in she recommends you have a servant (or portia) escort you when she can’t, just in case.

She’ll make the chefs cook anything your craving. It gets to the point that asra isn’t staying at the palace to keep and extra eye on you any more, he’s just staying there so he can try out all the weird food combinations and cravings your having, much to nadias disgust.

Julian

I’ll say it before, I’ll say it again, don’t let Julian deliver your baby. Child birth can be really traumatic for both parents, so having your husband deliver your baby isn’t uh.....the best way to go about the situation if you ask me. But he’s researching like crazy.

He’s lecturing you about all the important things to stay away from while your pregnant, like seafood, alcohol, beef, paint fumes, etc etc etc, while he’s taking you to your first check up. And he’s persistent that you go to all of them. And he will be very upset if he finds out you skip one. Or if you go against his advice.

Beleive or not this is one of the first times he doesn’t bring leeches up as a medical treatment! He knows, or atleast understands what’s good for you and your baby, and is able to recognize the fact that blood lost is not good for a pregnancy.

Portia

She is already knitting little sweaters and booties the second you tell her your pregnant. And when I tell you your baby will be decked head to toe in cute little outfits she knit, I mean it. She also tells all of vesuvia she’s going to be a mom as soon as you give her the green light, and their advice helps tremendously.

She’s asking around the palace, or around in town whenever she’s unsure of something, and if she still is unsure....we’ll then good thing Julian is still around to lecture her about every little thing, despite her having it under control

She will try her best to make you whatever your craving, no matter how weird, or disgusting she thinks it is. She’ll even try it sometimes, but that goes one fo two ways, she’ll either gag in disgust, or end up actually liking it...?

Muriel

Oh god he’s panicking. He’s panicking. Of course this is planned, of course he wants a kid especially with you, but ahhhhh he just can’t really wrap his head around the fact that this is actually happening, he’s happy, but scared at the same time.

He’s more protective than he usually is. Of course he knows you can fend for your self, and he knows nothing bad will happen, but he just has a lot of anxiety now. Now he doesn’t have to worry about losing you, but now the baby that’s inside of you.

You can go tend to the chickens or gardens alone that’s fine, but he likes it when he can go out into town with you, just in case. He also encourages you to rest, and to stop working like as soon as he finds out, because muriels mind always goes to the worst, and he doesn’t want that to happen.

Lucio

Your himbo husband/boyfriend is very very excited. Sure he doesn’t know or understand how much work a baby really is, nor does he care because he’s going to be a father! So what if babies are messy and loud, that’s why he has servants!

He doesn’t really understand any aspects of pregnancy, so he has a lot to learn, but he’s actually willing to learn if it benefits the healthy of you and your furture baby, he can’t really take in loads of information in one sitting though, but he does learn all he needs to know by the end of three months.

Any thing you want he’s got it. Forget about the servants, he goes on maternity leave with you. Like I’ve said before: it’s uterus and lucio does not forget that. All he asks for in return is cuddles and sex for all the good deeds he’s been doing. And if he finds out some ones talking shit about you being pregnant behind your back....well you don’t need to worry about that no more. He’s taken care of it.

Hi, this sucks, I’m having an off day sorry, but I have some more content about the main six helping Mc raise a kid and such in my master list which is located here

Next headcanon: Asra and lucio with an mc that has adhd

Request are closed

[dontshootmespence]

Through It All

Part 28

Summary: Now married, Spencer & Y/N navigate the D/s lifestyle. How will their relationship change?

Words: 1,832

Warnings: Tooth rotting fluff. Have a dentist on hand. 

A/N: No smut, just another fluffy installment.

All of the people in the doctor’s office are quietly confused about the four people entering the waiting room together, but neither you nor Spencer can muster up the energy to care. Today, you’ll know if the babies are healthy, hear their heartbeats, and possibly even find out whether you’re having boys or girls or one of each.

As you make your way up to the front desk, you link your arm in Ai’s. She’s happy and excited and nervous, but also a little sad, though she doesn’t confide that in you. You can just see it in her eyes; it’s all bittersweet. “Ai Campbell,” she says softly. “My boyfriend, Kyle, and the adoptive parents, Spencer and Y/N Reid will be coming in with me. That’s okay, right? We discussed it on the phone a few days ago.”

The woman reiterates that it’s fine, “as long as they all remain out of the doctor’s way,” which is perfectly fine with you. All you want to do is make sure they’re healthy and that Ai is as comfortable as she can be considering she’s going to be carrying two full grown babies soon.

Inside the office, Ai slips onto the table and lifts her shirt. She’s a small woman so her bump is already fairly visible despite being just over 3 months along.

Kyle sits at Ai’s side, occasionally giving her hand a squeeze. Though they both agree that giving their children up for adoption is what’s best for all of them in the long run, you can all see that this is especially difficult for Ai; they’re growing in her belly. You’d never have been able to give up Charlotte. All you can do is make it as easy on her as possible.

Just as Kyle presses a kiss to Ai’s temple, the doctor comes in and greets you all. He’s been made aware of your situation by her nurses and Ai. “How are you feeling, Ai?”

“A little morning sickness, and I can tell my back is going to kill me soon, but for now I’m okay.”

As the doctor explains that everything she’s feeling is normal (and giving her a heads up about what’s to come), she squirts some of the ultrasound jelly on her stomach, gently passing the wand over her. One pass. Two. Then she wiggles it around and you see two tiny peanuts - actually they’re about the size of nectarines - on the screen and you start to sob, cradling your head in Spencer’s shoulder. He can’t help but smile, a tear falling down his cheek as he and Ai share a moment. You’re both eternally grateful for the opportunity they’re giving you. “So what are we having?” Ai asks, making the effort to smile when she looks at you both. “We all want to know, right?”

You, Spencer and Kyle nod in agreement and wait with baited breath for the doctor to make the announcement. “Well, let me see...given that it’s twins there is a greater chance of us being wrong-”

“But with a single baby at 14 weeks you can tell with between 90 and 96 percent accuracy so-sorry, I’ll shut up.” Spencer bites his lip and stifles a laugh. He’s full of nervous energy and when he’s nervous the stats start flying. Thankfully, it makes Ai laugh, which allows Kyle to breathe a bit too.

The doctor finally settles the wand in place. “It looks like you’re having...one of each,” she says softly. Immediately, you and Ai burst into tears. You bend down to give her a hug, not giving a crap if you get any of the jelly on your clothes.

“Looks like you’re having a boy and a girl,” Ai says. The lightness in her voice makes her happiness for you apparent, despite how she might be feeling herself.

Pressing a kiss to her head, you wipe her tears away with the pads of your thumbs. “We all are.”

---

With the excitement of two babies on the horizon and a toddler at home, Spencer and yourself fall once again into the most predictable of routines. Unlike with Charlotte however, you aren’t feeling physically gross, so you’re still able to fit in quickies at night and random morning showers together. Without the physical and mental weight of an actual pregnancy, plus this being your second (and third) baby, you’re feeling more confident, which Spencer recognizes. In moments where you question whether or not you should’ve tried for another baby naturally, he reminds you of how you’re feeling. Every one of your roles - wife, mother, sub - you know who you are within them now.

Quickly enough, Ai is five months along. The two of you text every single day, and your boys are in a group text thread with you as well. She’s still not rid of morning sickness, but it’s lessening.

“The back pain though,” she says, her voice resounding through the apartment through the laptop during one of your weekend video chats, “The back pain is brutal. My doctor says I should probably be on bedrest in a month or two. Everyone at work is really helpful though. I’m allowed to sit all the time, which I do, because now I can’t see my feet either. But they’re there, because they hurt like hell.”

Her frankness makes you and Spencer snort. You remember not being able to see your feet at the end of your pregnancy. It was brutal. Thankfully, Charlotte, who’s playing with her baby doll across the room, is super cute and totally worth it. “What about food? Are you able to eat? Any smells turning you off? Any cravings?”

“Smelling coffee makes me want to vomit. Which sucks because I love coffee. Even though I couldn’t drink anything but one cup of decaf,” she says, rambling. You don’t want to laugh, but you can’t help it. The feelings are so real. “I also hate that I can’t have a glass of wine every now and then, not that I do,” she adds quickly.

Spencer laughs when Ai meets his gaze through the screen. “You’re growing two babies, heading off to college and working your ass off, I’m not about to turn you in for a tiny bit of underage drinking.”

“Thanks,” she laughs. “I just miss relaxing with a glass of wine.”

“I feel you. Anything you’re craving?”

“Cliche as it is, pickles. Kyle went out last week at 2 am to grab me a jar. Also breakfast foods. And chocolate. Ooohh, chocolate.” As if on cue, Kyle appears at the side of the screen with a square of Ghirardelli chocolate for the woman he loves. “You do love me.”

Stuffing the chocolate in her mouth, she sighs and closes her eyes, probably feeling a moment’s contentment amidst a sea of morning sickness, back pain and giant feet. “Are you able to come over for dinner sometime soon? Spencer and I will cook breakfast for dinner. Bacon and eggs and-”

“Hash browns?” She asks, her smile wide and pleading.

“Absolutely. What’s your favorite chocolate or candy bar? I’ll make sure we have one of those on tap for you too.”

“Almond Joy! You’re the best.” By the end of the video chat, you have plans for a few weeks later.

---

Three weeks later, Ai and Kyle knock at the door just five minutes after 6. Ai looks like she’s about to pop. “Everything smells delicious,” Kyle says, his arm linked in Ai’s as he helps her waddle to the table. “Bacon is one of God’s greatest works.”

“I have to agree,” Spencer laughs.

Charlotte runs into his arms and he introduces her to Ai and Kyle. You’ve shown her pictures of them and she’s seen them on video calls, but never in person. Smiling at Ai, she points to her stomach. “Babies?”

“Yes, my little flower,” Spencer coos. “Your brother and sister are in there. Want to sit next to Ai for dinner?”

“Breffast,” she replies. She knows it’s breakfast food. Ai is a natural with her and you know when the two of them are ready to be parents they’ll make wonderful ones.

At the stove, you finish up the rest of the food and turn the stove off while Spencer pulls out plates and utensils. “Want to help Daddy make a plate of food for Ai? And Kyle?” Charlotte is eager to help. She’s a natural helper. Even though you aren’t pregnant you feel like you could cry. She’s going to be such a wonderful big sister.

All of you eat your weight in eggs and bacon and hash browns. Except Charlotte. She tries to but she’s still a messy eater so most of it ends up on the table or the floor. After dinner, your little angel climbs into Spencer’s lap and falls asleep against his chest. “Excuse me,” he whispers. “I’m just going to go put her in bed.”

It’s nearly 15 minutes before Spencer leaves Charlotte’s room with the soft thud of her bedroom door. “Sorry, I needed to read her the book with the rainbow fish three times before she would fall asleep.” Laughing, he sits down at your side and gives your hand a squeeze. Before Ai and Kyle came over, you’d discussed this, but you didn’t want to start without him. “We have something we wanted to ask you,” he said softly, careful to keep his voice down so as to not wake Charlotte. He glanced at you and let you take over.

Your voice was shaky. This was important to you. And you hoped it would be to them too. “We got to talking and we- well we realize how hard this is for you-”

“It’s necessary,” Ai interrupts. Her eyes spoke the truth but the pain sat vividly behind the facade.

“We know,” Spencer replies. “But we realize this isn’t an easy decision. We want you to know that you always have a place in their lives.”

“That’s why,” you start again after clearing your throat, “we wanted to ask if you would want to give us their middle names. Maybe family names. Something that’s special to you.”

Tears gathered at the corners of both their eyes before Ai completely broke down. “Really? I mean, we never thought- it would mean the world to-” she clutched her hand to her mouth to stem the sobs that flowed from her mouth. “My father’s given name is Xing. It means star or spark. Do you know what his first name is going to be?”

Spencer chuckled. “We still haven’t settled on one. Y/N wants Spencer Jr., but I’m not so keen on that. We both like Noah and Blake. Either way, his middle name will be Xing.”

“For the girl, we’re tossing between Morgan and Diana.”

Kyle began to chuckle, the tears finally flowing. “How about both? My mother’s name is Diana.”

“Mine too,” Spencer says. “Morgan Diana. For both of us.”

Kyle smiles. “For all of us.”

@heycasbutt @ultrarebelheart @katherineisagubler @proud-slytherin-ghost @randomwriter23 @fandom-queen67 @sixx-sic-sixx @xqueenofthecraziesx @aofay02 @groovyreid @criesinreid @jdougl-love @xreider @cringeemospntrashassbutt @prettyboyeffect @prettyboyreid @themanip @spencerreidsthings @augustgraceful @whollytaciturn @prisonreid @factualfic @jasmine-negron @snitchthewitch @ellabobella051419 @crazyforsstuff @kaatelyyynn @jane-dough @dreatine @bitter-post-millennial @adlerorzel-blog @hallieedrew @psychedelephantt @krisymccall996 @4ueijos @mclaujac @ray-likes-starwars @nurseemilyblog @slightlyvicked @she4567 @guesswhosback129 @princessdolan @happycreatorfangirl @fallwhisper @nyemadowell @sammy-jo1977 @sin-bin-and-tragedies @imsuperawkward @ahhahahaheehee @crispygiantsaladgarden @reputay-swift @pizzarollsfordayz @andiebeaword @timey-wimey-lovi @garbagecanfics @friedparadisetale @dereksbetaa @idontevenknow2 @holyfishloverfarm @nohemi2500 @typeshitbih @sadgirlhan @kmc217 @bigbuttsowhatuniverse @charmedfandomgal @im--blushing @dangerouspersonllamabagel @fichoe21 @yes-sir-hotchner @thefandomallrounder @mrsenos08 @walkerchick007 @letsdisneythings @winchesterqueenie @specialagentleigh @spn-wheresthepie @haileymew @bitchyoulied @geniusgub @urdicksmol @6lack6erry @slutlanna976 @downondilaudid @baileysb1tch @la-vie-en-amour1 @letsdoit-tomorrow @eideticprettyboydrreid @lazynoodledragon @shybaby231 @aimzonicles97 @grace-superpowers @softestlavender @ssa-dr-ladylock @drprettyboy @patricks-fabulous-face @tearosaria @shxdowofdarkness @marvels-gurl @gublergirls​

[sweeethinny]

can you do the roommate prompt "Person A thinks they’re doing a great job keeping their house plants alive but actually, Person B has secretly replaced them with identical-looking fake plants so Person A can’t kill them" for Hinny? thank you hehhehe :)

thankk youuu honey <3 i love write this  I had problems with the ending, but I think it was so cute that I didn't want to change it is an AU where they are muggles, and Ginny was born before Ron, who is now the youngest. hope you like <3

LIST 

--------------

They had been friends for a few decades, almost three, so when Ginny needed a home to live in after breaking up with Dean, it was not shocking to her family that she had moved in with Harry. His house was not as big as his parents', but it was very cozy, still a reminder to her that he came from a fortunate family and that all that luxury was more than ordinary, even if he had worked hard to be able to buy in an area farther from the city center. Harry was one of the big names in Hockey, there was no one living in England who did not recognize the surname Potter, which made him have more reason to live far from everything.

Ginny loved it, especially when Dean started to get sticky and go after her to try to get back what he had ruined (jealousy bordering on the possessive on her and Potter, without any reason ... or at least she hoped it was). The ex-fiance didn't know how to get to Harry's house, he was never even there, so it was a safe area and free from any public declaration of love that she could win (like that terrible serenade, at three in the morning on the street of Luna's apartment )

Harry liked it too, her company was amazing, the house was not so lonely anymore and now he had reason to return home when training was over. Not in a romantic way - even though he had already fantasized about it when he was 15. And for a millisecond, when they agreed with the idea - but in a friendly and way.

They shopped together, watched series on Harry's free nights, and had fun on the weekends, dancing on tables or climbing on the roof to sing cheesy songs and talk about nothing. Harry knew it would be an incredible experience.

He just didn't expect him to have to lie to her.

The two "met" at the nursery, when they could barely speak a full sentence, and were not sure how human relationships worked. Their mothers worked together at the Hospital, Lily - Harry's mother - and Molly - Ginny's - were doctors in different sectors, the first was a neurosurgeon and the other was a pediatrician, and it was by chance that they discovered that their children had a friendly relationship at the nursery, which meant the two of them playing a lot more time together. They went to the same school, and when they were able to formulate phrases that would allow them to maintain a reasonable dialogue, they became friends.

After that, there was no more day when Harry and Ginny were not seen together.

There were omissions at that time, small lies as when he had a not very friendly dream about her, but nothing that Harry thought would interfere with the functioning of they friendships.

But that ... well, he didn't know much.

Ginny had been so different since she broke up with Dean, buying plants of all kinds and attacking gardeners almost every day now that she had taken a vacation from work - and Harry thought that the leisure time helped the weird mood - she even painted three rooms in his house, claiming that it looked like a hospital that was so white and dull.

He didn't want to see her cry, but so far she hasn't shed a single tear, and after ending a relationship of almost 6 years, some reaction is to be expected. Right?

Maybe that was how she got it out.

The problem was not the changes in the decor, or the garden, or even his own appearance, since she had induced him to grow his hair and beard, no, the problem was that Ginny was the worst gardener Harry had ever had seen.

His mother cultivated one of the most beautiful gardens he was lucky enough to visit, even though he traveled all over the world, he had never seen a better and more organized one like Lily Potter's, always alive and colorful, and even in winter. mother managed to make everything beautiful. His father said that his wife always seemed to be doing surgery on the leaves, such concentration and devotion to the garden.

But Ginny's was just ... a mess.

And it wasn't even because of the mess he would complain about, it was fun to see her full of dirt, with a team cap, and her cheeks flushed with sunshine, talking about the newest acquisition and how she had been doing a good job .. And there lived the lie. Ginny was not doing it well, in fact, she killed far more than five seedlings, Harry was betting his fortune that none so far had survived. Not without him.

After seeing her smiling like a child because flowers were blooming all over the garden, he couldn't stop. Every time one died, or was close to death, he changed and fertilized everything again, following his mother's advice and trying to keep the mess she always left behind. Almost every night, Harry needed to sneak out of his own home to fertilize, water or replant some poor flower that hadn't survived in Gin's hands.

Harry didn't want her to suffer, and it seemed so important that it worked, that he didn't even think about it.

''Another flower was born'' She said smiling, appearing as soon as he opened the back door, the birds singing like crazy in the trees behind the house, the sun shining in the pool and across the garden, as well as in on top of Gin, making it look like a fucking flame lit up "I bought one more .. This one will stay inside" Well, that would be a problem. Harry thought. Being indoors, it ended her chances of not realizing that they were dying.

And that's how he ended up with several plants around the house, all of which were fake. Ginny was still wetting them as if she wanted to drown them, and then, there he was going to buy new pairs or just hope that he could still dry the poor things without mold spots appearing on their fake leaves.

He also continued with the garden work, which didn't seem as organized as his mother's, but was much better than the week he tried to trust Gin's endowments and ended up having to spend two hours taking care of the damage that had been done. .

His house was much greener than it had been in years, there were vines on the walls, a vertical garden in the TV room, and his dining room was almost a nonliving garden. Even though most of them were fake - Ginny had been so excited that she had managed to keep so many of her, always bringing a new one after work - he had realized how happy she was, which made him happy too.

Dean was no longer an issue, eventually Gin cried, after drinking two bottles of wine and watching a sweet romantic comedy on TV, and she was back at work, which left him with more time to replenish and take care of everything.

There were also strange things that Harry didn't want to comment or think about, for example the way he started to notice her legs, or the frequency in which his dreams of her came back as when he was 15, and we wouldn't even talk about that totally strange moment that two looked like they were going to kiss when they went swimming together. Gin was so close ... so fragrant.

But on the current night, when he came in from training later than usual, Harry knew he had been discovered. Maybe it was because of Gin's expression, but he suspected it was because of the plastic flower flying towards him, forcing him to dodge, listening to the clay vase breaking against the wall and the damp earth staining everything.

''Were you mistaken me?!'' she shouted.

Oh, the angry Ginny was always a problem.

''No'' Harry swallowed hard ''Well, yes, but you looked so happy ..'' And one more flower flew

''And instead of telling me I sucked at this, did you prefer to lie?'' Harry thanked that the neighbors were a good distance away, or else they would have noise complaints

''I didn't want to-- '' But he was stopped by another plant flying towards him.

''I thought we were friends'' Ginny sounded all dramatic and painful, as she always did, but Harry didn't want to laugh this time, she seemed to be really serious

''And we are. Gin .. Please put the pot down .. Gin, you looked so happy, and… fuck, I didn't know what to do to help you, you were all weird and nothing really seemed to cheer you up! ... I swear I did it because I wanted to see you smile again'' He said, sounding a lot calmer than he thought he could be. His heart looked like it was about to rip open his chest.

''You did this to ... Harry, you could have told me!'' She spoke a little lower this time, but still loudly

''I didn't want to see you sad!'' His voice came out loud this time ''It makes me sad to see you sad'' They were silent, Ginny looked around the entire room loaded with fake flowers, then at the big window that it overlooked the back of the house, the lit garden was all flowery and alive, seeming to glow in the night. There were roses, jasmines, lilies, and even, varied fruits scattered across the land. All bright and colorful.

Ginny approached, which made Harry instinctively want to take a step back, just to be safe. "You're a fucking romantic noble idiot" Then she kissed him.

[allthingshetalia]

Can you write sergeant Prussia confessing his love to a cadet and she likes him also but is afraid and says no. Then Prussia gets mad and makes her do extra hard, not letting her finish eating and already making her run or sth. He overall makes her psychically and mentally exhausted and she collapses due to not eating enough not sleeping and working too hard. Prussia finds out she collapsed and rushes to see her and apologizes after the doctor tells him what is wrong with her. I 💗 your writing!

💕I love this idea! Thank you💕

“She passed out from exhaustion. She also appears to be extremely dehydrated. She has also lost quite a bit of weight since her last check up and that was only 2 1/2 weeks ago. We recommend she takes a week to rest and slowly works back into training. Right now she needs lots of sleep, water and some hearty meals.” The doctors explained. Sergeant Beilschmidt nodded his head, as he stood outside the curtain of your ‘room,’ in the hospital ward.

He sent you out for a 5 mile run. He claimed it was because you sucked at pushups earlier that day, but both of you knew the real reason. When you didn’t come back within 20 minutes he began to worry. So he called someone to go and check on you to make sure you didn’t skip out, well that’s what he told them. He Secretly wondered if you got lost or hurt. Apparently they found you lying face first in the mud.

He immediately went to check on you, and found a doctor that explained what had happened. He felt nauseous as the doctor told him what had actually happened. It was his fault. He knew he was working you hard but he didn’t realize how hard. He loves you very, very, very much, but when you rejected him it stored something inside him, a dark part of him he always hated. It was always hard for him to be vulnerable, and when he confessed his feelings to you it was a very vulnerable moment, and you shot him down.

“Can I go in and check on her?” He asked. His hand already gripped the curtain before the doctors replied.

“Of course.” The doctors smiled.

He cringed as he saw you were still covered in mud. It was plastered to the side of your face and your hair. You were very pale, your eyes were traced with deep bags and your lips were chapped.

“Can I get a bowl of water and a few towels?” He asked poking his head out of the curtain. A nearby nurse quickly nodded her head and went off to get the supplies. She soon came back and set it on the small tray near your bed. “Thank you.” Gilbert grumbled. He dipped the towel in the water and softly began to scrub at the mud stuck to your face. Once he did that he soaked another towel and tried his best to scrap as much mud as he could out of your hair. He also took it out of the bun you had, knowing it probably wasn’t comfy to sleep on. Once he sat on the chair right next to your bed.

It had been two days. You had yet to wake up. He spent as much time as he could with you. When he wasn’t training he was with you. He even ate his meals right next to you. He scrubbed your face everyday, making sure to get the eye boogers out. He got some chapstick for you and he even fell asleep in his chair. He held your hand as he slept, and that was how you woke up.

“Mmm.” You groaned. Your eyelids opened slowly. Wherever you were was fairly dark, and you were thankful for that. Your body felt heavy, like a rock was laying on you. Your eyes had no trouble adjusting to the darkness. You could hear footsteps going past you. A light squeeze of your hand caused you to look to your right. You immediately recognized a mop of silver hair and you quickly pulled your hand away. This caused him to wake up.

“You’re awake?” He groaned. He sat up and stretched. He shuffled around a little and a dim light flickered on from the lamp next to your bed. You quickly covered your eyes. “Sorry.” He mumbled. You pulled the covers up over you face, so you were hiding from him. He sighed deeply from next to you. “Y/N.” Please don’t do that.” He sighed. He pulled away the covers from you and you didn’t have much strength to fight him. “Are you thirsty? Hungry?” He asked. You shot him a glare.

“Like you care.” You rasped. You swallowed thickly trying to soothe the pain you felt after speaking. He closed his eyes tightly. He got up and left and you felt a little at piece. But it was short lived when he came back with two cups. One was filled with apple juice and another one was a cup of ice. He poked a straw in the apple juice and held it up to your mouth. You grabbed the whole cup from him and drank greedily. He quickly took the cup back from you.

“Not so fast.” He scolded.

“You’re not the boss of me.” You grumbled. Even though you were angry you leaned forward and took the straw in your mouth and continued to drink.

“Well the uniform says different.” He chuckled softly, trying to lighten the mood.

“Not anymore. I’m quitting. I have a medical reason. I’ll just say I physically can’t do it. Don’t worry i won’t blame you.” You growled. His heart ached painfully in his chest. “Congrats you won.” You sighed, resting back down against the pillow. He put the empty apple juice down on the table.

“How did I win?” He asked softly. You turned your head to look at him. He was staring intensely into your eyes. His ruby eyes encompassed the same emotions as when you rejected him.

“This is obviously what you wanted. To break me and make me suffer. You wanted me gone.” You spat. “You could lie and say it’s heartbreak but we both know it’s your ego. Can’t handle being rejected.” You continued. You stared up at the ceiling for a long moment before he spokez

“Is that how lowly you think of me?” He shuddered. You looked at him expecting to see anger but the only thing you saw was tear filled eyes. Your eyes widened as he stared at you in despair. “I know I can be difficult and hard on people- especially you, but I am not some cold hearted monster that you believe I am. I made a mistake. You’re right I couldn’t handle being rejected. But not because of my ego. Because I love you. I know it’s hard to believe after I ended up placing you in the hospital. I guess a part of me just wanted you to suffer like how I was suffering.” He sighed and leaned forward resting his elbows on the bed, his eyes never leaving yours. “You don’t have to believe my words. But you do need to know that I am terribly sorry for what I did. I never wanted to hurt you. You have made me see, feel and think things I never have before. And I’m sorry that this is how I repay you.” He got up from his seat and grabbed his coat off of the foot of your bed throwing it on. He slowly walked over to you and placed a gentle kiss against your head. You felt a little drop of wetness one your forhead but he quickly brushed it away. He swiftly turned off the light and pulled back the curtain leaving you.

Tears fell from your own eyes at his confession. Sure you always had a crush on him. But you never knew he truly felt that way about you. You kinda thought he just wanted to get in your pants, so he was just spewing nonsense. You rolled over in your bed and hugged the pillow tightly against your frame. After who knows how long of being asleep you where no longer tired. So you just laid there, crying and eating ice chips.

✨Time skip✨

You grinned at your friends who welcomed you back. After spending the last week in the hospital you had a lot of time to think, about you, your work, Gilbert, everything. The nurse told you how he barely left your side for two days. That made you realize maybe he did really mean what he said. And you decided that if he broke your heart, it would be no ones fault but your own.

You quickly made your way inside the large air conditioned building. Walking through many long hallways and going up an elevator to the very top floor you stopped infront of a large familiar door. ‘Sergeant Beilschmidt’ was written in large bold letters on the plaque attached to the door. You knocked loudly.

“Come in”. He shouted. You opened the door and peaked your head in. He was looking down at his desk staring at some papers. You closed the door behind you and cleared your throat.

He looked up and your heart dropped when you got a look at his face. His eyes were dull, compared to the fire they always held. He had dark circle sunder his eyes and his nose was red and irritated. His uniform was still perfect. His eyes lightened up a little seeing you, but that quickly diminished as he grabbed a stack of papers off the corner of his desk.

“Here are your resignation papers.” He muttered. “I filled everything out, all I need are your signatures.” You sat down in one of the large seats infront of his desk.

“I don’t want to leave.” You stated. He smiled at you softly. “I do what to be transferred to a different Sergeant/group whatever it’s called.” His smile instantly faltered.

“Of course”. He gave you a small smile, despite the sad look in his eyes.

“Well it wouldn’t be fair to everyone if I got special treatment because we were together.” You smiled. His head shot up from his paperwork.

“Is that another trick?” He mumbled suspiciously. You bit your lips and shook your head.

“If you still want to, I want to.” You smiled softly. He nodded his head quickly, the familiar spark in his eyes coming back.

“I would love that! And I promise no more hospitals- unless you’re having my baby of course.” He chuckled. You rolled your eyes.

“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves here. I’m still mad at you, ya know.” You scolded.

“I don’t blame you.” He leaned over his desk his face serious. “What can I do go make it up to you?” He asked softly. You leaned forward too so your forhead were pressed together.

“How about dinner and a ice cream?” You chuckled.

“You have yourself a deal.” He pressed a quick kiss to your lips.

[lucy-268]

Jury Duty

A/N – This was an anonymous request to use #39 of the 50 ways to to I Love You prompt list found here. Prompt was - “I knew you weren’t dead. I refused to believe it- I knew it couldn’t be true”. My masterlist is here.

Disclaimer: Characters belong to PB

Warnings: TW - gunshots and violence

Series/Pairing: Open Heart - Ethan x f!MC (Charley Valentine)

Word count: 2,634

Ethan and Charley broke apart when they felt the force hit the car window. Ethan turned his head to see Bryce standing outside the car with Jackie several feet behind him. The two residents were laughing. Ethan turned back to look at Charley. “Your friends are idiots.”

“Sometimes, yeah.” Charley waved at them through the car window. She pressed another kiss to Ethan’s lips. “Thank you for lending me your car. If I get out early I’ll be back.”

Ethan opened the passenger door. “I have to admit it was nice being driven to work today. Be careful and I’ll see you later.” He stepped out in front of the hospital but didn’t get a chance to close the door before Bryce stuck his head.

Bryce let out a low whistle. “This is nice, Ramsey.” He ran his hand over the seat. “Nappa leather. Bowers & Wilkins audio.” He looked at Charley in the driver's seat. He winked at her, stepped back from the car and grinned at Ethan. “Sexy driver.”

Ethan closed the door. “Stop drooling over my car and especially over my girl.”

Charley watched Ethan walk into the hospital with Jackie and Bryce, while the latter was still trying to get a glimpse of the car as Charley drove away.

Soon Charley pulled into a parking space across the street from the courthouse. She reread the letter. Cell phone stays in the car. She took her driver’s license out of her wallet and slipped it into her pocket to make it easy for her to get to. Room 208. She turned off her phone and dropped it into the console. She closed the door and made sure that it was locked before heading into the courthouse.

Charley walked though the doors and looked for the elevator but was stopped by a security guard. “Can I help you?”

“Yes, where are the elevators? I need to get to the second floor.”

“Why?”

Charley looked up at him. “I need to report for jury duty.”

“Most of juries were canceled for today. Do you have your letter and ID? I’ll be sure your group is still supposed to be here today.”

He took her letter and ID and verified her to a list. “You’re cleared to go upstairs. Check in at room 208 and they’ll direct you from there. Good luck.”

Once upstairs Charley checked in. “You can have a seat in here. We have coffee over against the wall. There are vending machines down the hall to the right. Restroom and water fountains across from them. If you leave this room, be back by 9:00 am. That’s when we move you to the courtroom. Judge wants everyone in their seats by 9:15.”

Charley glanced at the coffee machine. “I work in a hospital. Coffee sucks there, how about here?”

The receptionist grinned. “You’ll feel right at home. There is usually an espresso cart on the main level, but security closed it today.”

“Is there something special going on today? It seems like security is an issue.”

“The receptionist shrugged. “We’re concerned everyday, but they did cancel all the jury selections except one today.”

Charley went down the hall and got a can of soda. She went back and sat down at the end of a row. She pulled out the newest NEJM and opened it. She flipped through to find the article by Dr. James Hendricks, her emergency medicine professor. She was about half way through the article when someone sat down next to her. She glanced up to see the newcomer smiling at her. He held out his hand, “Hi, Eric Wilson, and you are?”

She shook his hand. “Charley Valentine.”

Eric held her hand longer than necessary. She had to give a tug to get him to release her hand. “Is that a miss or a missus?”

Charley smiled, “It’s actually doctor.”

The bailiff came into the room just then. “On your juror ID you have a number from one to ninety-one. I need you to exit this room and walk down the hall to courtroom seven in order. You will be seated in rows in alphabetical order and the judge will question you individually.”

Once all the jurors were in the courtroom, the lawyers and defendant came in and were seated. Everyone rose while the judge came into the court. “I’m Judge Hughes. In a few minutes we’re going to go through the jury pool. I want you to tell me your name and occupation. Before that I want to know if anyone in the jury pool has an association with any of the prosecutors, defense attorneys, or the defendant. Please raise your hand. When you are called on, tell the court your juror number and who you have or had an association with.”

For the next twenty minutes various jurors told about former classmates, neighbors, and church group volunteers. None of the associations were extensive enough to excuse any of the jurors. During the juror roll call the judge would periodically ask a juror a question or two. Finally he got to Charley. “I’m juror number eighty-eight. Charley Valentine and I’m a doctor.”

“Charley?”

“Yes, your honor.”

He looked at her and down to his paperwork. “My paperwork says your name is Charlotte, is that correct?”

“It is, but I go by Charley.”

The judge nodded. “What kind of doctor are you?”

“I’m a medical resident at Edenbrook. I’m on the diagnostics team there.”

“Thank you. Juror number eighty-nine, please.”

“Juror number eighty-nine. Eric Wilson, auditor.”

“An auditor, huh? Can you be more specific.”

“I review financial documents and look for fraud.”

Charley saw the defense lawyer turn around in his chair to look at Eric.

“Thank you. Juror number ninety, please.”

Eric leaned over to Charley, “I just got excused,” he whispered.

Charley whispered back, “How do you know?”

“Defense attorney practically got whiplash when I said I specialize in fraud.”

Once all the juror were questioned, the case was summarized by the clerk. The defendant was being charged with embezzlement. Charley glanced at Eric, who was smirking. The odds that an auditor who specializes in fraud getting seated on an embezzlement trial were slim to none.

The clerk stated that the court would give everyone twenty minutes for a restroom break. “If you want a soda or coffee, remember they cannot be brought back into the court. Only bottled water may be carried in. When you get back from your break, we will put you in the jury box twelve at a time and eliminate jurors from the pool until we have twenty-four, twelve jurors and twelve alternates. When you are called up to the juror box bring everything with you, if you are eliminated from the pool do not leave the courtroom, return to the same seat you are in now. Once we have our twenty-four we will dismiss the rest of you. We will all rise for the judge to leave then we will take our twenty minute bre-”

Three armed men came into the courtroom, one from the judge’s chambers and two through the main doors. One of the men shot the bailiff. Charley jumped up and the gunman swiveled to her. “Sit down!”

“I’m a doctor!”

“I said sit down!”

Eric stood up and pulled her back, and two of the gunmen raised their guns and fired.

*~*~*~*~*~*

Bryce burst into the diagnostics team room. “There was a shooting at a courthouse. Eight people were shot!”

Ethan stood. “Which one?”

Bryce shrugged. “I just heard courthouse.”

June and Baz pulled out their phones and Ethan turned the TV on to get late breaking news. His phone rang, with a number he didn’t recognize. He hand shook as he answered. “Hello?”

“Ethan? It’s Tobias. Charley is here and she’s being taken into surgery now. I know you want her there but we can’t move her now.”

“I’ll… I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

Knowing Ethan didn’t have his car, Baz was waiting when Ethan ended the call. “I’m driving.”

*~*~*~*~*~*

Soon Ethan, Baz, and Naveen were waiting near the operating rooms at Mass Kenmore. Aurora came in and sat with them. “Dr. Drummond is great. She’s in great hands.”

Ethan slammed his hand against a vending machine. Naveen went over and put his hand on Ethan’s shoulder.  He talked to him quietly but Baz and Aurora still walked down the hall to give them privacy.

Ethan has tears in his eyes. “I should have gone with her. I should have forbidden her to go.” Even as he said that he knew that legally he couldn’t have done either of those.

As the time progressed Bryce and Harper showed up. After another hour Dr. Drummond came out of the operating room stopping short when he saw Harper. He nodded to her before approaching Ethan. “Dr. Ramsey, can we… go somewhere more private.” He looked at the others around.

“They can all hear. I am listed as her contact person.”

Dr. Drummond considered for a moment before nodding. “The bullet hit her spleen and then her stomach. In fact it hit her spleen twice, which is why it took longer to get the bleeding stopped. We were able to repair the damage. But she has a long road to recovery, and I expect that she will make a full recovery. I also understand that you will probably want her moved to Edenbrook. I won’t sign off on that for at least five days.”

“Can I see her?”

“I’m coming with you.” Harper followed.

Dr. Drummond lead them to the recovery rooms and Ethan was finally able to see her through the window.

“I need to touch her. I need to feel she’s real.”

The nurse checked her monitors and grabbed a bag before stepping out into the hall. She provided an update saying that if all went well they would be moving her to a room in ICU in about twelve hours. The nurse handed the bag with all of Charley’s belongings to Ethan. Harper reached over and grabbed it from his hand. “I’ll take that.” Harper squeezed his arm and left him with Charley.

Ethan returned to the waiting room to find Elijah and Sienna with Aurora, Harper, and Naveen. “Jackie went with Bryce and Baz to see if they could find your car.”

“I don’t give a damn about the car.”

“No, but if it’s left there too long it will get impounded and Charley ill feel guilty because she was the one driving it.” Naveen smiled. “That’s probably the right attitude because earlier today I heard Dr. Lahela saying it would love to take the car out for a spin.”

Tobias came into the waiting room. “You should go home. We’ll call you.”

Ethan looked up at him. “I’m not going anywhere.”

“What would you tell a family member in your position?” Tobias asked.

“Probably to go home. But I’m staying here.” Ethan said.

“I’ll stay with you,” Naveen said.

“You don’t need to,” Ethan replied.

“Do you want me to go feed the kittens?” Sienna asked. “I can also get anything Charley might need?”

“Is Charley’s purse in there?” He indicated the bag.

Aurora nodded her head. “Yes, but Jackie took her keys to get the car. She left everything else.”

Ethan handed Sienna his key ring. “Thank you. Just take care of the cats. I’ll get anything else she needs after she wakes up.”

Everyone else left Ethan and Naveen made themselves as comfortable as possible in the inherently uncomfortable waiting room chairs.

Early the next morning Aurora came in with cups of coffee from the diner down the street. “Dr. Carrick and Dr. Drummond signed the paperwork and they are moving Charley. She’ll be in room 583.” She also gave him back his keys.

“Thank you, Aurora.” He looked at his keys. “Will Sienna need these.”

“No. She kept the house key from Charley’s ring. Bryce has her car key. He’s going to bring your car over here later.”

Ethan and Naveen headed up to the fifth floor while Aurora went to check on her patients.

Tobias said that Charley’s vitals had improved overnight. “She’s still not awake, but that’s because of the drugs. Hopefully they’ll wear off by early afternoon.”

Naveen stayed to get more information about Charley before heading back to Edenbrook.

It was late evening and Charley still hadn’t woken up. Tobias came in to check on her. He was concerned and said he was going to go check with the anesthesiologist. Ethan was sitting where he had been most of the day. His chair pulled up next to the bed, with their fingers laced together. His head was resting on her chest.

He heard a moan and his head snapped up. His eyes searched her face and her eyelids fluttered. She opened her mouth to speak but all that came out was a broken whisper.

Ethan poured her a glass of water and helped her take a sip. She looked at him and grabbed his hand. “What… what happened? Where am I?”

Tobias came back into the room just then. “The patient is awake. How are you, Charley?”

Charley looked between the two of them and feel back onto the pillow.

“What do you remember?”

“The courthouse. And guns. Did I get shot?” She sounded almost offended at the idea.

Tobias was the one who answered. “You did. And you were operated on by one of the best surgeons.”

“Why am I here?”

Ethan answered, “Mass Kenmore is closer to the courthouse. And time was of the essence.”

Tobias smiled. “He wants you moved to Edenbrook as soon as possible. He’s afraid that like a couple of the other residents you might want to transfer here if you spend too much time in a truly great hospital. You’re always welcome to come back here, either to work or when you get tired of him. Call me if you need anything. My cell number is on the back.” He winked at her and handed her his business card before leaving the room.

Ethan stood. “I’ll be right back.” He followed Tobias into the hallway. “Thank you. And you know she’ll never call you.”

Carrick nodded. “I know and you’re welcome.”

Ethan returned to Charley. She was sitting up in bed. She blew her nose and she was crying. He wrapped her in a hug. He kissed her forehead. “What’s wrong?”

“I remember sitting in the courtroom and they shot the bailiff. I wanted to go to him and two of them, they turned to me.” She looked at Ethan like she was trying to etch his face into her memory. “I was so scared I wouldn’t see you again. I thought I was going to die.”

Ethan wiped her tears and pushed her hair back to see her better. “When I heard there had been a shooting and there were some dead,  I knew you weren’t dead. I refused to believe it- I knew it couldn’t be true.” He captured her lips in a kiss. He placed her hand over his heart. “I would have felt it if you were.”

Charley looked at him. “You haven’t gone home.”

He shook his head. “I wasn’t going to leave you. Sienna has gone over to take care of the kittens. I forgot about them. Lahela picked up the car by the courthouse. You have good friends.”

She smiled. “We have good friends.”

He chuckled. “We have good friends.”

“Maybe I’m selfish for asking, but will you stay with me again tonight? I don’t want to be alone yet.”

“I’ll stay as long as you need me.”

“Forever,” she smiled as she leaned back on her pillow, holding his hand against her chest. “Forever works for me.”

My tag list  @oofchoices  @openheart12  @jamespotterthefirst  @ohchoices  @catchinglikekeronsene @aylamreads  @nerdydinosaursweets  @eramsey28  @txemrn  @starrystarrytrouble  @queencarb @thegreentwin  @lion-ess24  @caseyvalentineramsey  @mvalentine

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[sweetchup]

A Helping Hand

Type: Shalnark x reader

Au?: Savior Au. Normal Au.

Word count: 5,300+ (oof, Shalnark fans are going to be well fed)

Warnings: Spoliers from Manga Chapter 357+, Blood/gore, Cursing, Bad Coworker, Character Death, PTSD, Slight Angst, Fluff, I’m not a doctor and even if I did research not everything here is going to be accurate and correct

Author note: Honestly, I should’ve spent today working on my 100 follower special but I accidentally had a intresting thought after watching the phantom troupe fighting chimera ants. So... I grew back my love for smiley boi Shalnark and I had a thought about an intresting scenario. So, you ended up with this.

(Pt.2)—>

“You on your dinner break, (Y/n)?” Evan, your coworker says. You watch as he leans over the counter of the desk of the intensive care unit and raises an eyebrow at you as you chew on your taco salad. You squint your eyes at the man and gesture to your salad, like “seriously it’s obvious”. Evan laughs but soon let’s out a groan and stretches.

“You okay?” You say sloppily due to you still eating your salad. Afterall, you only had half an hour allowed to eat dinner before going back to work.

“Eh. Rough shift.” Evan says and Groans again as his hand massages over a specific muscle on his shoulder, “Did you hear about the situation down at Heaven’s Arena?”

You shake your head, you hadn’t heard anything today due to the number of patients you had to attend to in the intensive care unit. It was usually pretty crazy here after all. Though, there are some pretty bad cases that come into the emergency department as well, which Evan worked at, especially from Heaven’s Arena. So this wasn’t anything usual.

“Basically, there was a death match between floor masters Hisoka Morow and Chrollo Lucilfer.”

“Yeesh, so one of them came in still half alive?” You mumble, cringing at the thought. You dislike the brutality of what happens at some of the floors. It just wasn’t needed most of the time, especially with what almost happened to a boy named Gon, who Evan took care of.

“No. Worse. One of them manipulated most of the crowd and blew up the top floor so we have multiple casualties being rushed in.”

“Well, shouldn’t you be there right now?”

“Just got off shift. I’m staying, of course, just in case, but I’m waiting for them to check with the supervis—“

“Just wheel him out of here! He’s practically brain dead already!!” A screech resounds around the Intensive Care Unit as a slam of door comes after.

“But, Miss—“

“No! I said to pronounce him dead.”

You and Evan whip your head around to see what the yelling about, but you soon cringe as you see who it is. It was Sala Monodo, one of the head surgeons in charge of the Emergency Department. She was a really good surgeon but a greedy and nasty woman, along with one of the reasons why you switched from the Emergency Department to the intensive care unit.

You mumble a “what the fuck..” under your breath and place down your salad. Of course it would be this bitch to deny the ambulance crew to treat a still alive patient.

You rush around the counter and to the ambulance workers that had rolled the person down the hallway. Dale, an older worker of the Ambulance crew of the hospital, recognizes you and lets out a sigh of relief.

“Dale. What’s the situation?” You say, speed walking and examining the patient still on the stretcher. Man, this guy was in terrible condition. He was a young blonde haired man with blood just gushing from his nose. So much so he might even die from blood loss. It also didn’t help that he had lacerations and bruises on his wrists. Was this patient also caught up at the mess at Heaven’s Arena? No… there’s no burns which would have happened if he was part of an explosion.

“Young man, about mid-twenties, found hanged by his wrist at the playground downtown. No ID on him or info found in our Database. We do have a hunter’s License but that will take a while for Identification….”

Crap… that’s not good. Now, you don’t know if he takes any medication or if he’s allergic to any. On top of that we also don’t know his blood type or any past medical conditions, which will probably be useful in this situation.

“Our main problem is it seems he has a severe to moderate traumatic brain injury. Which is causing bad swelling of the brain. Along with a troubling possibility of damage to his spinal cord but that is still unconfirmed. We—“

“Dale, his heart stopped!” One of the other ambulance workers says. Fuck, that is the last thing we need right now. You quickly jump on top of the man on the stretcher as it continues to be wheeled and begin to give chest compressions.

“Dale, wheel—“ “What the hell are you doing?!?”

You glare towards Sala, still not stopping the chest compressions. “I said mark him as deceased! We are at max capacity in the Emergency room!”

You raise an eyebrow at the woman as Evan, who had sprinted over as well, jaw drops to the floor. Was this bitch serious? He’s still alive! He was breathing up until a couple of seconds ago. It also didn’t help that he needed to get him to the emergency room and you had no time to waste arguing with her. You know what… this will probably get you fired but oh well.

“Mal!” You shout as loud as you can for the Front desk women at the Intensive Care Unit. Mal, an older woman, runs out as fast as she can from a back room nearby, causing the door to slam against the wall. “Sign this patient under my name! We don’t have any identification yet so just roll with a description.”

Mal nods her head and runs in the direction of the front desk.

“You can’t do that!! He’s my patient so I say what happens!” Sala says screeching like a banshee at you. She chucks papers at you, probably the files to name this unknown man deceased. You only chuckle at her and give her a taunting look.

“Well, according to the paperwork, he’s a patient of the intensive care unit. So he’s mine now and I’m going to prove you wrong by making sure he lives.”

Sala goes to rebut but you cut her off. “Evan, pick up the papers she threw! Dale, take a blood sample and run it to the lab! I want his blood type and anything unusual. You two, wheel me to room 12, I’m going to need to get this man stable before we do a CAT scan on him.”

The other two ambulance personnel nod and turn you to that direction. Sala, unfortunately, is still chasing after you, not wanting to let this go. You give her a glare because you honestly don’t have time for this. You had just finished your thirty chest compressions so you need to give him air, fast.

Taking two fingers and you push the man’s head back to open his airway. Carefully, you put your lips on his, trying to not cringe at the sudden wetness and taste of blood, and give him two rescue breaths. You mentally sigh in relief as you watch his chest somewhat rise up at each of your breaths. That meant his airway thankfully wasn’t blocked and you could give him oxygen. Though it wasn’t lifting as much as usual which told you there was either a problem of the amount of blood blocking his airway or some being in his lungs.

You pull away from the man’s lips, yours tainted a little scarlet from his blood. You thankfully, as you lift up, lock eyes with a security personal and gesture to Sala. “Get this wacko out of here now! We have a situation!”

The security nods and grabs onto Sala who screeches and tries to fight back. Now that that was taken care of you can finally get this guy stable.

As the two ambulance personnel finally wheel you into room 12, you tell and gesture at them to leave and go. After all, they still had calls to get to and you had plenty of nurses who could help you out in a situation like this.

They thanked you and sprinted out, making sure to not bother you. Ok, so now that no one that was unauthorized was here you could try to see if you could use your Nen to try and stable him. Pulling your hands up, you close your eyes and focus. Focusing on sensing the blood in his body. Crap, your worst nightmare was true. There was blood blocking the airway through his nose and some in his lungs. Along with a conformation of swelling and too much blood in his brain. You now realize you can’t wait for a CAT scan or any other nurses to rush over here. You need to treat this man now or he will 100% be unable to be saved.

Taking some scissors from the metal tray, you carefully cut off the man’s purple tunic like shirt and his black undershirt. You throw the scissor back into the tray and put your hands in the middle of the man’s bare chest. Your heart was thumping out of your chest at the thought of not being quick enough. Come on (y/n), focus. This isn’t the time. You need to manipulate the unnecessary blood out of his body.

Taking a deep breath in, you run your hands up the man’s chest, around his neck and finally to his lips and nose. You slowly open your eyes and lift your hands away. You watch as blood in bubble-like shapes float out of the man’s nose and mouth. Swirling them all around in the air until it’s in a perfect droplet, you bend the blood over to a dish and drop it in it. Man, were you glad that you stuck to your gut and told your sensei you were going to manipulate blood. He didn’t think it was a smart choice but hey, suck it Sensei Matt. Look at how useful it is now.

After you made the blood clot the open wounds of the nose, all you had to do now, since there was no longer a risk of him drowning in his own blood or his airway possibly being blocked, you just needed to reduce the amount swelling to the brain and bring fresh oxygen throughout everything in his body to keep him alive.

Ok, you take a deep breath and raise your shaky hands. You can do this. All you needed to do was manipulate his blood throughout his whole body like a normal cycle, manipulate the blood in his heart to pump, and give him 2 rescue breaths every 30 cycles until he is stable or until blood tests come back. You can… You clench your hand in determination. No, you will do this.

————🚨📱🚨————

“What do you mean I’m wrong!?!”

You sit there rubbing your temples as you watch as one of the directors of the hospital sighs and explains how I'm not in trouble, to Sala, again. You lightly lean back in your chair and try to drown out the chaos in front of you.

It has been about a month since the incident with the 25 year old man, Shalnark, that got admitted to the hospital. Thankfully, you found out his name and age from the Hunter Association a week ago. Though it took them way too long to give it to you guys in your opinion. Along with the fact they didn’t give it to you personally and instead the department. Which gave Sala the opportunity to snoop and learn his name in order to try and get you in trouble with the Higher ups. But, it seems, due to what is going on right now, her plan has backfired. Though why wouldn’t it?! She denied a still alive man that you saved.

Afterall, Shalnark was now stable and on his way to recovering, thanks to your efforts. Though, he was currently in a coma. A big problem since you didn’t know how long he would stay that way either. But, at least since Shalnark is a skilled Nen user so he is able to heal pretty quickly and you hoped he would be able to be out of his comatose state between the next week to month. Since it seemed to be caused by brain damage.

So far while he was under your watch, with your blood manipulation you were able to heal and not cause scar tissue for most of the nerves in his spine and brain so he wouldn’t suffer from any permanent damage and be back to normal. Well…, not off the bat, he would still have to go through a lengthy recovery. One being doing some serious physical therapy sessions since he would still have to relearn a lot of his movements.

You take a sigh. Why are you worrying about this now? Well… it was probably due to the fact when you were washing him up after you saved him you saw his tattoo. A twelve legged spider. The symbol of loyalty to the phantom troupe. You haven’t told anyone, after all that would jeopardize his recovery and send hunters flooding in to try and kill him. Though—

The door suddenly slams open, startling everyone in the room. You quickly turn to see Evan, clearly out of breath, standing there.

“I’m…” Evan wheezes suddenly, “I’m so sorry Sir! But I need to tell (y/n) something. It’s important!”

The director nods his head, “Go right ahead. But, she can’t leave the room until the meeting ends.”

“Of course sir!”

Evan turns to you and smiles like a mad man. You just raise an eyebrow. What the fracking hell. Did Evan put crack cocaine in his coffee this morning or something?

“(Y/n). Shalnark is awake!”

Your jaw drops to the floor and you frantically stand up. “R-really? How’s he doing?!”

You take a gulp as you feel your throat tighten. You were scared to hear what Evan has to say. Afterall, Shalnark is the patient you have spent the most time with out of all of every patient you have ever taken care of. Mostly due to the fact he was in such a bad condition at first but, eventually, due to how you had grown attached to really wanting him to make a full recovery.

“He’s okay. He’s in a minimalistic conscious state so he’s very confused and unsure of what’s going on.”

“I-I need to check on him then. Sir, I’m sor—“

The director raises his hand to stop you from continuing and stands up. He quickly grabs some sheets of paper and hands them out to you, a small smile on his face. “No need to apologize. Just take these and go.”

“Thank you Sir!”

You take them and bow before the man. Quickly, not even bothering with taking the elevator, you rush over to the intensive care unit. Finally there, you catch yourself on the door of room 12, almost slipping past it and falling.

Panting, you look into the room to see Shalnark moving around frantically as male nurses try to hold him down. Sure, it wasn’t the best scene to see but it was at least a relief to finally see his eyes open and that he could move around.

You start to approach the bed causing one of the male nurses to notice and yell at you, “Doctor (l/n), I don’t think it’s a good idea! He crushed one of the nurse’s hands when he first woke up.”

“It’s fine, don’t worry.” You say as you finally reach the side of his bed. “Shalnark. I need you to calm down for me.”

“W-who?!” Shalnark looks around frantically but is cut off by his own wheezing. You lean over to examine his eyes and see that they are harshly dilated. So, that’s why he is hostile, he probably can’t even see.

Hesitantly, you reach over and grab the Shalnark’s hand. You squint your eyes and grit your teeth as you know what's going to happen next. You flinch as Shalnark squeezes down and breaks your hand.

Shakily, you hold up your other hand and signal the male nurses to let go of him. As soon as they let go, Shalnark frantically looks around due to being unable to see them and not knowing where they went.

“Shalnark.” You grab the man’s attention and he turns to you. You pause and take a harsh inhale as he squeezes a bit more on your hand. He might be hostile and seem angry but you can feel his hand shaking as he holds in a death grip, telling you he was confused and frightened. “Shalnark. My name is (y/n) (l/n) and the doctor that was assigned to taking care of you in the Intensive Care Unit. I apologize that I suddenly caught you off guard and touched you. You’ve been out for quite some while and had some pretty harsh injuries so I was concerned and didn’t think of the consequences. I’m not sure if you can hear or understand me but could you let go of my hand as a sign you can?”

The room goes silent as you and the other staff wait for his response. Thankfully, Shalnark hesitantly lets go of your hand.

“Thank you. Now I’m just going to put the bed into an upright position so I can examine you. I don’t want you moving your head back and forth anymore due to your injuries so I’m going to have one of the nurses bring you a cup of water so you can speak. I’m going to touch your hand, can you please squeeze it to confirm if you think you can drink some water? If not, you can take your hand away.”

You softly reach over with your non-broken hand and hold onto his. You wait for a couple of seconds before you feel Shalnark lightly squeeze down on your hand. Looking over, you nod to the nurse who grabs a cup of water and walks over.

“The nurse has a cup of water. You can’t see right?”

Shalnark squeezes your hand again.

“Ok. I’m just going to take your hand and place it on my arm. I’m going to help you drink the cup of water. Just squeeze to let me know when you have enough.”

You softly put the edge of the cup to Shalnark’s lips. You were being very careful when tilting it upwards so you don’t spill water or give him too much at once. Shalnark thankfully drinks every single last drop, though you had expected that after all it had been nearly a month since he last drank anything.

You take the empty cup away. “Can you talk, Shalnark? I don’t want to give you too much water just in case your stomach can’t handle it.”

Shalnark clears his throat a couple of times. “Y-yes… yes.”

You watch his face carefully. His speech isn't slurred and his face wasn’t lopsided, which thankfully told you the parts of his brain that deal with conversations and the movements in his face were functioning normally. You would definitely have to treat Betty to dinner for agreeing to help you by fixing his nose and taking out the scar tissue in his face and nose.

“Good. Now, I’m just going to examine you…” you trail off at the end as you are surprised. When you went to move, it caused him to lose the grip on your arm. He frantically reaches around and grabs onto your hand, thankfully not the broken one. How weird. “Are you okay?”

“Ah.” Shalnark seems embarrassed and conflicted with himself for a second, “I just can’t see. I-it’s weird and…”

“Oh. If it’s reassuring you are allowed to hold onto my hand if you want to.”

Shalnark lets out a small thank you, it’s hard to hear but you don’t press into him about it. “Well, I’m going to first test the feeling in your body. I’m going to put a little pressure on each part of your body and I want you to say if you feel any pain or not. You don’t have to move or anything, just let me know. Also, you should probably close your eyes, after all you can’t see which tells me there's a brain injury and the bright light might end up giving you a big headache later.”

Patiently, you watch as Shalnark closes his green eyes. You almost felt sad that you couldn’t see them anymore but you shake away that thought. You need to take care of him first, not worry about trivial things.

————🚨📱🚨————

“Ok so that was the last of the tests. Honestly, you’re in pretty good condition regarding your situation Shalnark.” You say as another doctor wraps your broken hand. God, Nen was always super convenient in pretty much any medical case. You didn’t even have to get stitches or surgery for your hand! Only wrapping and a warning to try to not use it too much.

“Ah I see. H-How long do you think I’ll be here for?” Shalnark says, his eyes still closed as he fidgets with your other hand. He’s been doing that for quite some time, you wondered if maybe he was nervous.

“Hmm. That’s tough to say since we don’t really have any other parts of your medical history. But, an educated guess? I would probably give you a week or two to solve the head trauma symptoms and to introduce your body back into normal food and fluids. Then, during that time and maybe a little after, I’m going to help get your arm and legs back to functioning. Finally, you will probably start some physical therapy so you can relearn how to move and make sure everything is okay. So I would say 2-3 months? Though, it might take shorter or longer depending on the way your body adapts.” You say, letting go of Shalnark’s hand to write a prescription down and handing it to the other doctor who had just finished wrapping your arm, “Derek, do you think you could run this to Mal? I’m going to need some ibuprofen for both me and him.”

“Sure thing. Need anything else?”

“Nope that’s all. Thank you.”

The door clicks lightly as Derek exits the room. You let a drag out sigh. Man, what a crazy day it was today. Almost the craziest you’ve ever had. Oh! You almost forgot. You stretch out your body like a cat from your chair to grab the papers on the counter. You completely forgot the papers that the director had given you. Let’s see…

“(Y/n)?”

You let out a humm to Shalnark to let him know you were listening.

“So, were you the one to take care of me this whole time?”

“Yep.” You flick to the next page.

“Did you happen to help me… get dressed? Bathe me?”

You turn the other page over. “Yes. Usually the nurses do it but, due to your condition, I was the only personnel trusted to do it. Don’t worry though, it’s something we do often in intensive care.”

You pause in your reading as you feel the air shift around you. You slowly look up and towards Shalnark, who for the first time since he woke up, smiled at you. A seemingly nice closed eyed smile. Though, you could tell it was anything but nice.

“You didn’t happen to see anything suspicious on my back, right?”

Ah. So that’s why. “No. I did. You're talking about the twelve legged spider tattoo, right?”

The air grows thicker around you two and you go back to looking through your papers.

“Though no one else knows, neither does it say it in your medical records. Though, I didn’t put a record for you here in the first place.”

The air suddenly stops being tense and clears up. You look up slightly from your paper before looking back down as you see Shalnark was completely blank faced. “What do you mean?”

“I didn’t put a record. You had one when you entered but I deleted it. It’s one of the many privileges you have since you have a Hunter license.”

“I know that. But, why doesn’t anyone else know? K…” Shalnark pauses for a moment, seeming to try and calm himself down, “Kortopi is dead and the police should be knocking down the door to interrogate me. Also, you know I’m part of the troupe. You should be contacting the bounty hunters and collecting the A-List bounty for my head.”

You let out a sigh and place the papers down on the bed sheet.

“Well I am a Hunter. I took the 284th Hunter’s Exam.” You cringe as you feel the room get tense again and some of Shalnark’s bloodlust leaks out. “Not that sort of Hunter. I would kill myself if I ever be came a jackpot hunter or a bounty hunter. I don’t care about money, fame or whatever.”

You take a pause and sigh again. “The Bounty Hunters or Police won’t be questioning you at all. Your friend’s tattoo was never found and I used my license to stop the police and the Hospital from thinking of questioning you or collecting any info. So, you can rest easy that you aren’t being track”

The air seems to calm down but only a little bit before it gets even tenser than before. You looked up stunned as you heard a crash and see that Shalnark had thrown something at the counter with an angry face. “Why? Huh!? Just turn me over and leave me to die! Take your reward and go! I don’t want your—“

“Will you calm down for one second!?” You yell out, breaking your composure for the first time in front of him. “If I really wanted to turn you in I would have a month ago. I don’t care for money at all! The reason…”

You trail off at the end and clench your fist. Memories of your past flashing through your thoughts. Getting all tangled with your emotions, making it harder to think. You take a deep breath and calm yourself down.

“The reason I became a Hunter is to help people, no matter who it is or what has happened. If I told anyone, and I mean anyone about who you are, that would jeopardize you getting better. I’m not turning back on a promise I made, no matter if you're part of the troupe or not, you're still my patient and I’m going to make sure you make a full recovery.”

The room goes silent and you neaten up your papers before standing up. The chair makes a harsh screech against the cold tile floors. You pause before you take a step and turn to Shalnark. His head dropped so you couldn’t see his expression. “I just read the documents my director gave me. Due to the incident with emergency care, the hospital is going to pay all of your medical bills and I’m going to have less to no patients so I can watch and take care of you during my shifts so you can make a whole recovery. It’s now the night shift so I’m officially off the clock and I’m going to go home but if you need anything you can press the button on your bed. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

You walk away from the bed and clutch your hand onto the cold door knob. Man, what a depressing way to end this. You usually could handle anything that was thrown at you, maybe you need a better night’s sleep. You haven’t been sleeping well lately after all.

“(Y/n).”

You pause your movements at Shalnark’s voice, the door somewhat still open. You almost don’t hear the next thing he says but your eyes widen as you do.

“Please. Please don’t go.”

It wasn’t that you hadn’t expected it. It was just that Shalnark’s voice sounded so small. So frightened. Like a kitten stuck out in the freezing rain. Something you hadn’t ever heard from a citizen of Meteor city and something you didn’t think you would ever hear from a member of the Phantom Troupe. A notorious gang of thieves. You slowly close the door and turn around to him.

You can’t see Shalnark’s face as you walk over to him. Slowly, you grab onto his face and turn him to look at you. You feel his face shaking in your hand and you see him clenching his eyes shut.

You hadn’t even thought of it before now. You hadn’t even thought of the possibility. But now it makes sense. He was easily startled, something that shouldn’t be easy for a thief or criminal. He was constantly on guard before examining him, during and after. He only smiled once and often spaced out. He got randomly and suddenly aggressive at times. And most importantly, he continually avoided the subject of what happened to him and when he finally told you, he didn’t remember important details of what happened. You couldn’t believe you hadn’t seen it before, Shalnark was showing classic signs of post traumatic stress disorder.

The problem is that you couldn’t do anything for it right now. Solutions for PTSD either need medications or therapy. And you currently can’t get him either. All you can hopefully do is find a way to calm him down and get him to sleep. You could talk to some of the other doctors and contact some therapist in the morning to help actually diagnose and help him, it was just too late at night for any of that right now.

“Shalnark.” You slowly rub your thumb soothingly up and down his face. His breathing hitches for a second before seeming to slowly begin to go back to normal. “I’m actually going to stay for the night. Is there anything, and I mean anything, I can do to help you?”

It’s silent for a couple of seconds and you stop rubbing his face.

“C-can you just keep on doing that?” Shalnark softly squeaks out.

“Of course. Anything else?”

“I’m… I’m good.”

“You sure? I’m going to be here the whole night so you can say anything.” It might seem weird to the average person to say anything again but you knew you needed to make sure. People with PTSD will commonly feel great feelings of guilt, shame or hopelessness and will close themselves off from people. So, you need to reassure at the beginning that Shalnark can ask you for anything and that he can trust you.

“Could…” Shalnark trails off, slightly fidgeting in front of you.

“It’s fine. You can say it. It won’t bother me.”

“Could. Could you like… hold me?”

You could tell based on how he was acting that asking for something like that was definitely not normal for him. Especially since he’s from Meteor City. Which from your experience don’t show most to any sign of affection or vulnerable feelings.

“Of course. I’m going to sit in the bed, okay?”

“Yeah…” Shalnark shuffles over, giving you room.

You slowly climb into the medical bed; it lightly creaking under your weight. Carefully you reach both hands, even your broken one, and hold onto him. You can feel him stiff under your touch and watch as he plays with and twitches his fingers.

“Shalnark. You are okay to hold me if you want. Just completely relax, No one is allowed to come into this room without my permission.”

Shalnark seems to finally break under your words and he uses his working arm to pull you into him. With some slight shuffling and moving, you are both finally comfortable and laying down. Shalnark was facing you, his face hidden in your neck as he held onto you like as if you were some sort of stuffed animal. You feel the man in your arms slowly begin to lull off to sleep as you run your fingers through his hair.

As you held the man in your arms in the dark room, you now knew that Shalnark’s recovery won’t take 3 months. Maybe physically but definitely not mentally.

But, you knew that as long as you stayed by Shalnark’s side and just helped him through it, it could be possible.

Slowly, you reach over and hold his hand in yours which he lightly squeezes back.

After all, all it takes is one helping hand.