#even with the inclusion of the revive book it's like. all that did was make him more paranoid

[cdroloisms]

honestly, there's probably a lot you can say abt c!dream in terms of losing even when he wins. because, tbh, this is...consistent.

c!dream is very intelligent and very good at PVP and these are well-established traits from the beginning of the server. he is skilled at thinking strategically and therefore is often able to navigate unfavorable situations to him in order to successfully achieve some goal of his. in terms of achieving goals, c!Dream isn't half bad in the slightest! but how do these goals actually work out for him?

in the revolution, c!dream successfully leads his side to victory while minimizing damage to his own people (and, sometimes, minimizing damage across the board: see him telling his men to hold fire to allow lmanburgians to retrieve their items.) the most amount of risk to anyone on his side is during the duel, where he ended up on half a heart to determine the end result of the war. and it's quite undeniable that c!dream wins the war--he gets to set the terms of the peace, gives them "technical" independence as he planned to from the start but says that he and the rest of the Dream SMP will view them as constituents of the greater server and gets both discs after c!tommy offers them willingly. by all means, on paper, a glowing success.

only time passes and as others treat l'manburg as independent, he is forced to do the same. "suck it green boy" becomes one of the most common catchphrases of the server when the independence that was granted them in the book that this statement was written was. literally given to them out of c!dream's mercy? and not out of their victory? he loses both discs AND significant leverage against himself due to various conflicts that involved people stealing from him and/or blackmailing him when he literally wasn't doing anything. l'manburg's ranks have swelled and the story established by it and its independence has long since drowned out any other perspective on the war.

then, in manberg/pogtopia, c!dream enters into the conflict from the perspective of wanting c!schlatt out of power. later on, remaining loyal to c!wilbur, he helps him to successfully pull off the plot to blow up L'manburg and also manages to obtain the revive book through a brief alliance with c!Schlatt. once again, his goals were successfully pulled off in no small part due to his strategizing.

and yet, in the long run, what does c!dream really gain? the revive book is something he evidently didn't know about until the trade with c!Schlatt, and the knowledge of it fucking destroys him. with both c!Schlatt and c!Wilbur dead, he immediately ends up as enemy number one, something c!Wilbur himself states later on. c!Dream, who had never really had any particularly stable alliances pre-manberg anyway, comes out the other side of November 16th even more alone than he had been before, publicly distrusted (not that he was ever really trusted, even by Pogtopia before he officially starts working against them because of the revive book, something that the content creator himself has stated was created purely to explain why c!Dream would switch sides.) the destruction of L'manburg is merely temporary. the plan to blow up L'manburg was c!wilbur's in creation, and considering how open c!Dream is about disliking c!Schlatt, I really hesitate to think that he was going out of his way to ally with guy unless he himself intentionally revealed the revive book to this end (like. c!schlatt is a smart guy, bro.)

c!dream is "secretive" about just about nothing at this time, besides I guess his actually helping Pogtopia (if you can call this guy telling the fucking Manberg cabinet that it's L'manburg, not Manberg, being secretive el em ay oh)--he's open about helping c!Wilbur with the TNT (and c!Wilbur you know, makes a point of doing it in front of an audience both times he asks c!Dream for TNT as well) in Vassal and then on November 6th, and that exact stream is also where he literally walks in the middle of Pogtopia to say hey guys. I'm Betraying You Now. like ???

everything he gains at this time culminates to 1) he helps c!Wilbur successfully pull off a plan that c!Wilbur himself came up with and wanted to pull off and does, to some degree, pressure c!Dream into agreeing with him about--even if c!Dream was going to give him the TNT no matter what, he does display a measure of resistance during Vassal Speech (whether or not you believe this resistance was genuine) and c!Wilbur responds to that by kinda threatening him. So. and 2) he gets the revive book by acting in service to a guy that was clearly established as someone he disliked and feared, and that book is also something that we KNOW scared the shit out of him and like ended up prompting a paranoid spiral that ends with him creating a whole goddamn prison to put himself inside. soooooooo. you know. and all of this is happening at the same time that his losses end up turning into "by the time november 16th rolls around and is over and done with most people either want him dead or are very very close to wanting him dead, cheers!"

then obviously, there's everything from november 16th to the staged disc finale. again, we see c!Dream pulling strategic plays left and right and achieving the goals he has--at this point, often through, uh, less than savory means. through political bullshit with NLM and well, exile, he manages to get the disc during green festival; through helping c!Techno against the butcher army, he manages to obtain a favor; through stuff involving the enderwalk and some kinda deal that im p sure has remained unspecified, he manages to get Cat from c!Skeppy; through experiments with c!Punz, he gets information on the revive book; through green festival, obtaining both discs (and therefore no longer needing to act in terms of political interests with NLM), and establishing common ground with c!Techno, he's able to destroy L'manburg through Doomsday; through having the discs + everyone hating his guts because of Green Festival, Doomsday, and to be fair everyone literally just hating his guts from the outset, he is able to ensure the security of c!Punz, the revive book, and himself by locking himself in prison. A lot of different moving parts, a lot of different goals, a lot of running around the server to get what he needs to get done done at the right times in the right ways, and he manages to con the server and put himself exactly where he wanted to be.

and yet?? and yet??? sure, he pulls off what he wants to pull off, sure he achieves his goals, but in terms of actually winning? he's paranoid and the paranoia just keeps getting worse. the threats to his life and the amount of enemies that want him dead just keep growing in numbers. he finally gets lmanburg blown up for good but you know there's going to be like 4 more factions on this server by the time he gets imprisoned. his friends ditch him and then try to kill him when he clumsily tries to communicate that he's trying to protect them because of the paranoia he has about everyone hating his guts, he explicitly identifies the reasons for people's hatred as having a lot to do with manberg/pogtopia arc where he ends up helping two dead men that aren't around for people to hate anymore, he pulls off staged finale and puts himself in a prison that ends up shattering himself.

like he achieves his goals--even if we're talking about the prison, even if we're talking about the time where things most thoroughly go awry for him because of c!sam's betrayal, you can't say that he didn't achieve what he intended. c!sam kept him alive, and would do anything to keep him alive--he might've been wrong about a lot, but he wasn't wrong about that. and yet. AND YET.

c!dream achieves his goals but where does he end up? miserable and afraid of literally damn near everything and losing his whole mind in the exact prison that he constructed to keep himself safe when in a paranoid spiral about a hostile world that suddenly made so much less sense than he was used to--alone.

like. wdym doesn't lose all he does is lose literally everything he ever had like 😭😭😭😭😭

[pulpitude]

not to be a salty little shit (and therefore revive the calico rants tag) again but

y'all remember my earlier rant? the one where i stated that even mah, one of the books with the most accurate and inclusive queer representation in the app, has its fuck ups (more details in the post itself)

well, i just remembered that perfect match, the one book where you can actually be polyamorous and have a realistic polycule dynamic instead of "oh you still have to pick a main li and they'll be the only person you can make it official with and say i love you to but at least there's still the option of flirting and hooking up with other lis if you want to slut around some more" (cough. bloodbound. why the fuck didn't pb let me say i love you to both jax and adrian and let me live my married poly fantasy w/ the provider the girlboss and the malewife) also has a pretty big fuck up in my opinion.

specifically, regarding the option to pair up sloane and khaan vs. pursuing them as love interests yourself.

i get that obviously not all people who read pm decide to play as a polyamorous character and therefore wouldn't really like their love interest having romantic feelings for someone else, but what about those who don't mind? even worse, what about the players who are polyamorous themselves and were hoping for the love interests to also have a poly route?

you can only get the option to play matchmaker for sloane and khaan if you aren't pursuing either of them. not both of them, not just one of them, only when you're dating neither. and that makes sense... from a monogamous standpoint. hell, not even from all monogamous standpoints, there are plenty of people who wouldn't be poly themselves but would be okay with their partners being poly.

and that's where i start being a salty little shit about this, because why the hell is there not an option to pair them if you're already established as poly and dating both of them? i vividly remember that during one of my pm plays (where i only dated hayden) sloane is confiding to mc about her possibly having feelings for khaan (or something, my memory is terrible) and asking them what to do.

and one of the dialogue options for that scene if you didn't flirt with khaan beforehand is "don't date him, date me instead".

and i don't know about you all, but that reads as incredibly selfish to me if your mc is poly and especially if your mc is male, i don't know why but combined with the poly thing it has more than a bit of a misogynistic undertone. i mean, they're literally telling her to stop pursuing her crush if she wants to date them, but they can pursue as many people as they want.

and for the other scenario (pairing up love interests that you pursue with other characters as a monogamous person) imo there should be a customization option for that. kinda like the sexuality option in the elementalists but it's for poly routes, either the option to allow mc to become official with multiple lis or to allow the lis themselves to have simultaneous romance routes with mc and other characters. preferably both but that'd be asking too much for "the most amount of queer we can handle right now are romances between genderlocked female mcs and goc lis that still read as a straight romance, the only thing that's left is for the f!lis to grow a dick like they did in platinum" pb.

[solarsonicsoda]

Rating 500+ Theme Tunes - #6: iCarly

It's still surprising to me that with iCarly, Nickelodeon had the wherewithal to make a show about a profitable internet show in 2007, before that sort of thing had taken over the mainstream like it has now. Sure, the titular show within iCarly has no real structure nor strong appeal, and it's actually barely featured in the show, but it's impressive nonetheless. This show also features Spencer, one of the better characters to ever be put to screen.

If you're my age, you already know that iCarly was an extremely big deal. This was probably one of the most well-known and popular shows of the late 2000s and 2010s, still getting reruns today plus spawning both a spin-off and a revival series. They even featured Fred, One Direction, and Michelle Obama! Yes, really! Overall, it's also a really interesting screenshot of the time with its inclusion of the then-new wave of the internet and the "random humour" that was famously popular. Naturally it then fed into some of my favourite YTPs. The circle of life!

Personally, I saw quite a lot of this show as a kid. Now, did I like it? Oh God no. It was one of those cases where my siblings loved it, meaning I saw a lot of it, and I ignored all merits as I had not chosen to watch it. Deep down though, I liked to follow it and see what was happening. All the specials and event episodes were watched, and I even admitted then to finding Spencer's various antics very amusing. In hindsight, it's got plenty of the average pitfalls but it's honestly a pretty entertaining sitcom. Now, about that theme tune...

iCarly Theme Tune

Now, this is a famously good theme. Everyone remembers this one as being a genuine tune and they are fully right to! This is a great song! There's so much energy, so much fun, it's a great fit. Sure, it's all a bit hollow and cheesy deep down, but for a Nickelodeon sitcom, I think that's about right. It gets you ready for 20 minutes of silly comedy with a well-performed pop tune just as required! Maybe it's the nostalgia too, but I think it manages to bring out some real emotion with that parting "Just leave it all to me".

Taking it all in, this is a total tune top to bottom. I think it's missing a little something to be one of the all-time greats, but I can't knock it too much. In my experience, this is one of the most beloved intros around and I have to say, that is with good reason. My final verdict for iCarly's theme is going to have to be an A.

Stay tuned for more and be sure to send in any suggestions for other shows you'd like to see done (after the 500 already in the pipeline that is). Check out the intro to this series here, and check out the tier list.

I would also be remiss if I didn't mention the absolutely torrid behind-the-scenes situations described by many members of the cast. It definitely puts a dark cloud over many of these shows, and I wish nothing but love for any of the cast and crew affected by their time on this show. I really recommend you read Jennette McCurdy's book to get an idea for the kind of things that happened on set from certain individuals. Harrowing. Again, I wish nothing but the best for victims of what occurred.

[adridoesstuff]

Rant/Roast/Personal thoughts on the 2022 Schönbrunn concert version of Elisabeth das musical

So, inspired by the insightful video on this topic by fellow content creator @fitzrove , I decided to write down all my impulsive thoughts while watching this production, since Fitz's video will probably be the only bearable way I will watch the concert version.

Disclaimer: any criticism in the following list isn't meant as a direct criticism of the actors, they are just on that stage doing their job. But this is mainly a criticism of the creative team behind the production (i.e. director, choreographer, designers, casting directors...etc.), who are the main driving force and reason behind how a show looks and feels.

Disclaimer no. 2: The following text contains swearing. A LOT OF IT. And a lot of capslock. This production brought forth the worst in me while writing this and I wrote this at 4 am in the morning, so, you have been warned.

• Already hating the picture frame set and we didn't even begin

• The choreography for Prolog is already abysmal

• Why are we going off on the pyros? We didn't even get through the Prolog

• Whatever they have the Todesengel doing on the frame is dumb

• THE CROTCH CAM. Who's idea was it, because that is literally the worst angle they could have chosen

• Abla is so cute, but they did her so dirty with that dress and they didn't even try when doing her wig's hairline

• I miss Max wearing hunting clothes :( because where the hell is he going dressed like that?

• Why did they omit the line about Sisi wanting to join the circus if she weren't a princess? (Is it because of that damned swing?)

• Why did they decide to make a 3 year gap between Wie Du and Schön euch alles zu sehen? Because that makes Sisi 10/11 or younger during Wie Du, which just seems like an unnecessary change

• The amount of skirt hiking I see here is already exceeding my limits and we're not even 15 minutes in

• No costumes for the ensemble? I thought this was supposed to be the SPECTACULAR new version

• THE DREADED SWING. And it's even dumber than I expected

• I could already see Mark creeping in the background, so talk about an anticlimactic reveal

• And the inclusion of KKOG, my beloathed.

• The entire staging of KKOG here makes zero sense

• Mark, please get off that fucking swing. I don't care that you can take a seat on it from behind, just get off

• Also, why is Mark in white? Literally, why? When they kept in the lyric "Ich erkenn dich, schwartzer Prinz"? It makes no sense

• Ok, Lucheni on the swing is cute and understandable

• Andre was a good Franz back in the 1st revival, but at this point, he's too old to play a younger Franz in Act 1. If you're gonna split cast Elisabeth, do a split cast for Franz as well.

• And this gets only more apparent with Sophie, since the actress playing her looks about the same age as Andre. They literally look more like a husband and wife than mother and son

• Sophie's dress isn't bad per se, it is just very bland

• The male ensemble got some truly hideous coats for Jedem gibt er das seine

• Why are we skipping over the historical goodies of this scene? Literally, those were the whole point there

• PROLONGED HAND SHOT

• The costume department seems to have bulk bought that chunky gold trim and just said fuck it and put in on everyone's coat

• Abla stealing the conductor's wand and trying to conduct is so cute

• Her dress? Not so much. Very bland

• Literally, why are they cutting so much of the book? And especially Lucheni's lines in the middle of So wie man plant und denkt?

• The age difference is even worse now, that Abla and Andre are standing side by side (not looking forward to Nichts ist schwer)

• I miss Lucheni messing with Helene and Sophie :(

• I didn't think I'd like David Jakobs as Lucheni, but he and Abla are the only saving graces on that stage thus far

• Imagine what David could do with good staging and direction a la 1st revival and a complete book

• I even dare say that he could pull off being a Der Tod in the vein of Martin Markert, because he does have that chaotic "came here to fuck around" energy

• Yep, Andre and Abla look more like father and daughter together than a freshly engaged couple

• Okay, Lucheni holding the box with the necklace while giving the most dead pan face straight into the camera is honestly funny

• That necklace doesn't look the least bit heavy. It's literally just felt with some rhinestones

• They literally couldn't even give Abla's wig some forehead curls to mask that god-awful hairline? And they couldn't even curl it properly?

• Was the budget so tight that they couldn't even give the ensemble ladies ONE DECENT COSTUME?

• And they couldn't even iron or at least steam the wrinkles out of that wedding dress? And yes, I don't like it in all it's polyester glory

• The decision to have Mark's legs framed in the shot between Abla and Andre is a CHOICE

• Also, it doesn't look like Mark will change into the black costume anytime soon. Or at all for that matter. So much for the angels being in black

• Talk about "spectacular concert production". Yeah, spectacular that over half the costumes that should be here aren't even present and the set is amateurish at best

• And did Mark literally only stand there to do that evil laugh and then leave? Couldn't he have done that somewhere else?

• Oh, god, did I already mention that the choreography is bad. I can literally do better in my room at 3 am and I am an utter klutz

• I can't even make an argument for the exaggerated whisper motions being camp, because that clearly wasn't what they were going for

• Those colored gloves on the ensemble ladies are so fugly

• Also, the choice to have Elisabeth present while the entire nobility talks shit about her is a MASSIVE CHOICE

• Did Mark have in his contract that he must appear for a certain amount of time on stage? Because why is he standing there in the background?

• MARK, STOP CLIMBING UP THERE

• Okay, him telepathically controlling Elisabeth like a puppet could be an interesting idea anywhere but in a post 2012 production, where in their last scene together he told her "instead of ruling over you, I will be loved". Just makes Der Tod look like an ass

• WHY ISN'T THE ENSEMBLE FROZEN? WHY ISN'T ANYONE FROZEN FOR THAT MATTER?

• Manhandling your love interest is not the way to go unless you're Maté!Tod, who is essentally a giant cat in a human body. It's understandable then, because it does go along with the characterization there, but not HERE

• That was literally the unsexiest hip thrust ever

• Did Abla and Andre literally just flee the scene so that Mark could have his lead man big number finale moment for himself?

• I don't know how I didn't mention this already but MARK, TUCK YOUR GODDAMN SHIRT IN

• Did they literally cut the entirety of Die Gaffer?

• But when I think about it, it's probably better not hearing about the onsetting wedding night in this casting situation

• But they are doing David dirty by cutting so many of his lines

• And they literally cut the entire first verse of Eine Keiserin muss glänzen. Like, what's the rush, besties? You don't have a train to catch

• That change over between Abla and Maya was interesting, but I still am very much against the split track and plus the place they did it makes zero sense

• Did they hire the shittiest wig makers in Vienna for this? Because Maya also didn't get a wig with a decent hairline

• And they couldn't make the puffed sleeves on the nightgowns any less awkwardly short, could they?

• But Maya and Abla both slayed the vocals

• WHY DID THEY CUT STATIONEN EINE EHE??????!!!!

• If someone were to see this show for the first time here, they must be so fucking confused

• And if they want to excuse that by "oh, we're making it more understandable for a mass audience" BULLSHIT, YOU'RE NOT! You're making it LESS understandable by cutting all the context

• Also, the atillas look hideous. What did they make them out of???? Felt????

• Death now provides coffins for your dead kids! Also, for that coffin to have a 3 year old kid inside, it's kind of small

• That dress Maya got for this scene is so bad and just makes her look frumpy

• Yes, because nothing impresses your lady love like you doing a super manly power stance over her freshly deceased kid's coffin

• Homeboy, you didn't "float in a dance". You first telepathically controlled her movements, then were walking around all broody before you started manhandling her in the roughest way possible

• And yes, nothing calms down your beloved so much like wrapping her up in a coffin cover

• Maya looks so confused and yeah, girl, same

• Didn't they literally have anyone else but Andre available to carry the coffin away? What about the Todesengel? Is their only job climbing onto that frame and slowly spreading a wing each?

• Also, where is Mark walking to?

• DAVID IS BACK <3

• If they dare cut a big chunk of Fröhliche Apokalypse, I will scream

• Did they literally tell the male emsemble to bring their own beige trenchcoat to the job? Because it sure does look like they did

• They cut the second verse of Fröhliche Apokalypse...at this point, I don't even have the energy to complain about that

• At least they kept Lucheni's café apron, but it is kind of out of place since they have no set change to make it look like a café

• The amount of side-eye little Rudolf gives is honestly so funny

• Maya looks rightfully outraged at this production, but at least for once, she gets a costume that isn't outright bad (at least that robe looks decent, because that silky orange-y thing peeking out from under it doesn't

• Okay, that almost kiss was too close for this only being Act 1

• I would have liked it better if maybe Mark just remained sitting absolutely stunned for a moment longer than him immediately standing up after Maya pulls away

• I would have liked more smashing the Milchkannen onto the stage but I'm happy to see David back

• Why are they pouring the milk into mugs if it's meant to be for a goddamned bath? Filling an entire bathtub mug by mug seems kind of counterproductive

• OF COURSE THEY CUT A VERSE OUT OF THE SONG

• The cardboard cover for the frame is such a bad solution here. It literally could have been solved by different blocking and lighting but they did the laziest thing they could

• I feel like too much of the volume of the skirt of the Star dress migrated onto the sleeves. And what happened to making the Star dress looking soft and ethereal? Ever since 2012, the European versions just keep on getting stiffer

• At least the wig looks alright. It isn't the best, but it is, an improvement from that previous one

• They had multiple instances, where I feel a side entrance for Mark would benefit his presence. But this is the only time I feel like the top center entrance would be good, but they manage to screw it up once again and have him come on stage from god knows where only for him having to awkwardly time when to take the stairs to get the high ground while trying not to bump into Maya

• WE'RE ONLY AT THE END OF ACT 1???!!!

• Lucheni strutting through the audience with a hand held mic is honestly a mood, although I don't like the plastic toy crown they gave him

• Also, no Kitsch bedazzled jacket? :(

• And him not actually getting prop souvenirs, but the pictures being shown on the LCD screens seems like a massive cop out

• In short: they are doing David dirty with this staging

• The ensemble with their flags are just so unenthusiastic

• Okay, the carriage is a nice idea and Maya finally got a decent dress!

• But why is she already here? We're literally in the middle of Kitsch. Don't tell me they cut Éljen

• David is slaying, ngl and I would have liked to see more shots of him during Kitch rather than literally everyone else around

• Like, this is his big number, let him have his moment!

• Of course they cut Éljen

• And Mark still hasn't changed costumes, so I guess he's doing the entire show in the white version

• What are the ensemble ladies doing there during Wenn ich tanzen will? They are literally just there to block Maya from twirling in her dress

• Okay, Maya stealing one of their Hungarian flags is nice

• And we have a return of Der Tod telepathically controlling Elisabeth's movements and it's even worse than in Act 1

• I'm sorry, but where is all the spice this song is supposed to have? Maya and Mark literally have so little chemistry as Elisabeth and Der Tod due to this horrid staging

• Why is the lighting so severely purple and blue?

• I miss them flying at one another for that final chorus and pushing one another to the other end of the stage

• The camera operator must really like Mark's legs, because they make a comeback!

• They gave little Rudolf the blandest blocking

• But Der Tod taking Rudolf onto his shoulders is kind of cute

• Wait, I liked that blocking for once! Where are you going, Mark?

• Little Rudolf could literally not give less shits about Der Tod here

• Why did we cut the interlude and Lucheni's introduction to the insane asylum?

• Maya's dress has some nicely pleated cuffs, but that duochrome fabric looks so wrinkly. And her hat literally doesn't match her dress at all

• Okay, what is this weird newly added dance sequence and music interlude? Did they literally cut all the above mentioned songs for this??? It doesn't even sound like it belongs in this show

• That was the lengthiest and most confusing and unnecessary sequence ever

• Why did they light this scene in BRIGHT ULTRAMARINE when the only person on stage is Maya and she's wearing a RED/ORANGE/BROWN DRESS? It just washes her out

• And I forgot to mention that they couldn't have picked a more dull and unflattering brown shade for both Abla's and Maya's wig

• Why did they keep the mad woman there in the middle of the frame for the entirety of Nichts nichts gar nichts?

• DAVID IS BACK <3

• At least Sophie got a costume change and I like it much better than her Act 1 dress

• The return of those ugly out of period men's ensemble jackets :(

• They cut the middle of Wir oder sie. WHY ARE THEY CUTTING ALL THE HISTORICAL REFERENCES??????!!!!

• That was the most awkward transition in between songs ever done

• The female ensemble finally got some form of costume!

• And Frau Wolf is SLAYING

• Why did they cut the first verse of Nur kein genieren? And at this point I am convinced that someone has a last train home to catch and cutting down on the ensemble numbers was the only way for them to make it

• But, I like that we do get chemistry between Lucheni and Frau Wolf and that they got to split the lines in that one verse they kept in

• That fall down the stairs looked like it did take a while to practice

• And with it comes a costume I utterly hate: that goddamn lilac robe with the black lace chevrons Elisabeth wears for Maladie

• They literally couldn't have made that cape Mark wears here any less awkward in the amount of gaping it has in the front?

• Which is made even more awkward by him being in white

• If everyone remembers that gif set of Mark not catching the necklace at the end of Maladie during the 2nd revival: I think that is the reason why they kept him at ground level here

• And he does catch it, but that was literally so devoid of climax

• Sophie gets a nice bonnet/cape combo for Bellaria!

• Background framed power stance, but this time, they at least added some flavor with some contra lights

• At back to cutting more of the book for Rastlose Jahre!

• We finally got to Shatten!

• And Rudolf is a little too tidily dressed for my liking

• Oh, here comes the fishing rod/cat toy!!!

• Why are they sitting not looking at one another?

• Also, why are they literally 5 feet apart? As far as I remember, COVID wasn't that rampant in summer of 2022

• Matching one leg up on a stair poses

• The homophobia of not having the slightest bit of physical interaction between Der Tod and Rudolf

• But either way, I love Lukas as Rudolf. Still great 19 years later

• NO DON'T YOU DARE PICK UP THAT FISHING ROD/WHIP/CAT TOY

• Screaming at each other across the stage just like a couple of guys being dudes

• BEHOLD, CAT BOY RUDOLF. When the fandom said that Rudolf is our poor little meow-meow, we didn't mean this!

• You can tell from both Lukas and Mark's faces, that they also think this is ridiculous

• Why did they cut out so many of the feel good historical bits, but not Hass????? That is literally the only song I would prefer they skip here??????

• Lukas is so good in Spiegel (thanks for the feels!! Finally some good content from this performance!!!)

• And even though I dislike Rudolfs being dressed in Austrian style uniforms, Lukas has an especially nicely tailored one

• Lukas going to the ground to beg Maya????? My heart can't take the feels????

• MARK, STOP CREEPING IN THE BACKGROUND

• Oh, dear, the dreaded no-homo version of Mayerling

• And why did they choose to keep Maya on stage? During this scene? Why?

• Okay, the choreo is dumb again

• WHY DON'T WE GET THE TODOLF KISS ANYMORE VBW?????!!!!!

• AND WHY DID MARK NEVER GET TO WEAR THE MAYERLING DRESSES????

• Maya cradling Lukas's jacket during Totenklage is touching tho

To summarize: I wouldn't pay the insane prices for a ticket to this production for the amount of bad scenic solutions, lack of costumes and some truly abysmal directing choices.

[nickgerlich]

Size Matters

The way we shop continues to evolve, but in some regards, it’s also a case of what goes around, comes around. Funny how that happens.

More than a century ago, if you lived out of town, you purchased pretty much everything from a catalog, from clothes to even your house. Sears and Montgomery Ward both sold “house kits” that, once delivered, had to be assembled much like an IKEA bookshelf. Just harder.

But even in more recent years, companies like Sears, JC Penney, and Montgomery Ward also issued an annual catalog chock full of the latest fashions. You had to make your size selection with fingers crossed. It was a crapshoot at best. And in a nod to nostalgia, J. Crew just announced they are reviving their catalog, seven years after retiring it.

Now consider e-commerce, which is basically just an online catalog. As much as people squirm and put up resistance to buying clothing online, they probably did it without question from a paper catalog. But resistance is resistance, and savvy marketers know they have to figure out a way to overcome.

Which leads us to the topic of virtual try-on. That handy size chart you see a link away from any garment you’re pondering is evolving into interactive sizing video powered by AI. Google Shopping just announced it is expanding its virtual try-on from men’s and women’s tops to now include ladies’ dresses. Shoppers can select from real models of all shapes, sizes, and colors to get a better idea of how a garment will look. And since a dress necessarily has to fit in a lot more places than a shirt, there’s a lot more consumer hesitancy to overcome.

Interestingly, Google’s efforts lag substantially behind what Walmart has already done. Two years ago the company launched its version of an AI-powered look book, but with the added twist that shoppers could upload a photo of themself and then see the garment superimposed. Thus far, Walmart’s program is only available for women’s clothing.

Wait. Isn’t that just a bit creepy? I mean, at minimum you are sharing pics of yourself, but someone else could have twisted fun at your expense.

While I am dead certain I would pass if and when Walmart adds the feature in the Men’s department, I am good with Google’s version. After all, it still beats a static photo in a catalog or on a website. Photoshoots are expensive, models aren’t cheap, and if you’re trying to be size-inclusive, you have to show the garment on both big and small people. How much better it would be if we could just let AI do all of that modeling for us, right?

There will always be risk when buying clothes sight-unseen. Colors in print or on-screen may not be realistic, and can look vastly different against various skin tones. There is terrible inconsistency in sizing across brands, even within a brand if they outsource manufacturing across multiple providers. And then there’s the fact that you are uniquely you, with all of your proportionalities. One size fits all? You gotta be kidding.

Both Google and Walmart are not perfect…yet. While we may still be going through the motions of buying clothes from afar, just like 125 years ago, the shopping proposition has gotten better. Stir in some AI, and we’re getting much closer to a fitting room experience without actually having to do it.

I’m good with that, because as far as I’m concerned, that’s the last thing I want to be doing on a Saturday afternoon. Bring it, Google and Walmart. If it doesn’t fit, I’ll just return it.

Dr “Try This On For Size” Gerlich

Audio Blog

[maxwell-grant]

So, any thoughts on The Green Lama (who unexpectedly became one of my faves), the Pulp Hero who is also a Superhero?

Much like other pulp heroes of the time, The Green Lama had multiple secret identities and a massive supporting cast aiding him in his quest for justice. Unlike his contemporaries, The Green Lama eschewed guns in favor of radioactive salts, magic, and sleight of hand. He rarely, if ever, killed his enemies. His tales also had an advanced sense of continuity, with characters growing and changing over time, plot points introduced in one story paying off several tales later. The Green Lama is a character of contradictions, driven forward by a faith he is forced to betray. It makes him flawed and imperfect, and in that way, one of the most human of all pulp heroes - The Green Lama: Scions

While not the "only" example of a pulp hero who is a superhero, The Green Lama is arguably the one who leans the most into the superhero aspect out of all the classic 30s pulp heroes that usually get brought up. I would argue that The Green Lama is the most direct answer to the question "what happens when you combine The Shadow and Superman together", considering he was modeled extensively after both in his forays into pulp, radio and comic books, and has also grown into his own character.

He's got the unique skills bordering on superpowers (that eventually became outright superpowers). He's got pretty much The Spectre's costume, except of course he came first. He's an urban costumed crimefighter wh deals with gangsters and criminal masterminds, and yet has an extremely strong stance against killing and carrying guns under any circumstance, even saying they would make him no better than the criminals he fights, which makes him by default the pulp hero that Batman would get along best with. The comics took it way further even turning the “Om Ma-ne Pad-me Hum” chant into a Shazam! transformation cry (Shazam came first, although the two debuted in the same year).

He's got a suitably punchy and dramatic origin: guy spends 10 years in Tibet and returns to America intend on spreading Buddhism's pacifist doutrine, only to witness the murder of children at the hands of mobsters the literal second he steps off the boat, and after spending restless days in the police station to see if they would find the culprit, he sees the killer walk out of the commissioner's office free, which convinces him he needs to take up crimefighting because the police are useless, and he outright calls the police "incompetent" in a letter to the papers that he uses to introduce himself to the world, which is not something you find often in 30s/40s fiction even if's an implicit part of the pulp hero/superhero fantasy.

He had a stronger sense of continuity than most pulp heroes were usually afforded. He has a lot of the pulp hero stock and trade like the assistants and the pseudo-science and the odd radio gadgets and of course the Orientalism that we'll get into, but remixed in a pretty cool way that allows him to stand out from his inspiration. He's got incredibly weird aspects to him like the fact that he gets enhanced abilities from crystallized salt or even becoming radioactive (which could be interesting to explore considering "radiation" became the go-to origin for superpowers in the 60s). He's got an allright supporting cast and Magga, while ultimately a deus ex machina, is a very interesting addition to it and I wish her mystery was played up more often in subsequent stories past the original run. There's a lot about The Green Lama that really works, he was incredibly successful at the time and he's managed to thrive over the years lot more than most of his contemporaries

Despite all the powers he wielded he felt impotent, nothing more than a rich boy playing the games of gods. He had chosen the path of the Bodhisattva, sacrificing himself for the good of all sentient beings, but even so the weight of responsibility, the lives of so many in his hands, threatened to crush him. It was tempting to turn away, to deny his calling, but the life of a Bodhisattva demanded more; and it was only recently that he had begun to realize how much it truly required.

The main problem with The Green Lama, and by problem I mean "the character works fine for his time but this is seriously holding him back from becoming sustainable again", is the fact that he's a white rich man who fights crime by going as hard into Orientalism tropes as possible, which is inescapably baked into the premise.

Now, I will argue that The Green Lama was, for his time, a progressive character. The Buddhist aspects of his character weren't just backstory fodder or an excuse for his superpowers as they were to pretty much every other character at the time, Jethro was a practicing Buddhist, who fought crime informed by his beliefs, trying to respect them (and not exactly succeeding) and offering a wholly positive perspective of Buddhism. Nowadays, it creates a problem, but at the time, it made the character stand out from every other hero who had "traveled to Tibet" checked out, because Tibet and Buddhism were heavily incorporated into the character. The Lama may have been born merely out of a desire to cash in on The Shadow's newfound radio popularity, but Crossen took it much more seriously than his contemporaries and made it an effort to instill admiration in his readers towards what he was referencing, which he was pulling from books about the subject and the Pali language. Is research the bare minimum? Yes. But it’s a bare minimum that even today’s writers don’t do even having an infinitely bigger wealth of information at their disposal. 

To further cement my point: There's a particular Green Lama comic story called The Four Freedoms, which is about the Lama receiving a letter from a fan in the army who's worried about a racist private who keeps insulting the black privates while crowing about racial superiority, and so the Lama kidnaps the private and takes him on a tour through Germany so he can witness firsthand how his talk aligns with Nazi ideology, even specifically referring to Jim Crow's laws, criticizing how easily Americans fall for racial war rhetoric, and pointing out the idea of racism as a tool of tyrants to divide and conquer. It's not my place to champion this as some great representation and that's not what I'm doing, but if this all seems passe or simplistic or even problematic to you, trust me, this was still the era of Slap-A-Jap Superman, stories like this were absolutely not the norm at the time, even in other stories where superheroes dealt with racial discrimination.

He even caps off the story by stating that punching or ending Hitler is not the solution (although he lets Jones take a couple of swings) because Hitler is just one part of a much bigger problem that needs to be fought on all of it's forms. It's all very much afterschool special/anti-racism PSA, sure, but it's easier to mock those in our time. You find me a Golden Age superhero comic that shits on Jim Crow specifically while the hero tells the reader that Hitler is not the ultimate evil but merely "a cog in the wheel", part of a problem that's deeply entrenched in America's own shores (really, do, I'm genuinely curious if more of them did anything like this).

Does any part of what I said negates the fact that, at the end of the day, he's still a white man using Orientalism mysticism to fight crime? No, it doesn't. And if Iron Fist can't get away with it, if Dr Strange only just barely does, the Green Lama sure as hell can't. And you cannot downplay those aspects either lest you end up with a completely different character. It's a bit of a conundrum that makes the character tricky to approach from a revival perspective.

I completely agree with what you said here, Green Lama would benefit from a Legacy Hero approach very strongly. And Green Lama: Scions opens up an interesting possibility of Jethro Dumont not being quite what he seems, backed up by the fact that he wore disguise make-up in the original stories:

They had a lot of names for him in the papers—the Verdant Avenger, the Mysterious Man of Strength—but Reynolds had always been partial to “Buddhist Bastard.” No one had ever seen his face or, at the very least, the same face. Seemed like everyone had a different story. The Green Lama was white, he was black, he was asian, he was old, and he was young. You could fill a room of witnesses and no two would describe the same person.

Really I think if you just got rid of that one thing that holds the Lama back the most from catching on in modern times, I think he's the kind of character that lends itself a lot to long-term sustainability. He's already fairly popular as is, definitely an indispensable inclusion of any shared pulp hero or Golden Age superhero universe and definitely one of my favorites among the 30s American pulp heroes. And there’s ways to make the concept more interesting and workable.

Maybe The Green Lama is just a title that's been going on for generations, with Jethro being one of many to fill in. Maybe Magga used to be it, maybe the tulku that instructed Jethro did, maybe there's a new character with it. Maybe Jethro is just an identity used by an Asian-American adventurer to operate safely in the US, or maybe Jethro has a sort of Lamont Cranston arrangement going on. Maybe he's part of the reason why Tibet was the superpower capital of the world in the 30s or 40s, or part of the reason why radiation started granting so many heroes superpowers in the 60s.

The character's skillset has been fairly "anything goes" ever since his author made him a flying superman for the comics, and really he already started out being able to deliver electric shocks through his fingers by guzzling radioactive salts. He's a very weird character, and I will always argue that weird is what works best for the pulp heroes.

[dramaticsnakes]

The Revived: Chapter 21: Observations

This is chapter 21 of the Dream SMP multichapter fic @rainbowbutterfrosting​ and I wrote together! I hope you’ll enjoy!

AO3

Read in order (on Tumblr)

Characters in this chapter: Wilbur, Ghostbur, Ranboo

Word count: 3551

Cw: intrusive thoughts about hurting others, overworking, isolation, food, mentions of burning, tension between characters, arguments

Fic summary: Wilbur was alive, and it was such a magnificent feeling, that made his mind spark with anticipation. It didn’t take long, however, for Wilbur to realize that this new breath of life, was not just his own. An echo-y voice hides in the back of his mind, and before he knows it, the transparent version of him he saw at the endless train station, is a lot more ingrained than he’d expected him to be.

And Wilbur really shouldn’t care. Because he’d be damned, if he spent the life he’d awaited for so long, babysitting a lost cause of a ghost, stuck in the very same limbo Wilbur spent so long in. It was an even exchange, and one Wilbur wasn’t going to mess with. Why exactly he ends up setting out to get the ghost out of his mind, in order to save the both of them, however, is beyond him. And perhaps Wilbur’s past isn’t as easy to leave behind, as he’d hoped it would be.

The ticking of the clock became a constant to Wilbur, in the days that followed. It filled the silence when there was no dialogue between the two. The stacks of books next to him grew, as he tried to sort through them. The information wasn’t very useful for the most part, but there were always more books. More incomplete notes and recounts to look through.

Occasionally he would venture downstairs, to harvest some crops and settle his growling stomach. Once he took some of the remaining blaze rods and made some strength potions that joined their place next to the remaining instant health ones. He placed a finger on the glass bottles of potions, just to make sure they were still there, and then he would return to his seat.

He read whatever he found out loud, perhaps to remind Ghostbur of his presence. To fill the train station with something other than emptiness. He let out a quick breath, whenever the silence was broken by the ticking of the clock, that reminded him to get back to work, instead of letting his mind drift off into prime knows where. Into the void, and to the walls, that he could claw at all he wanted to no avail. 

The ghost spoke less and less as he read, and Wilbur’s hands shook, as he tried to pay attention to the way the arms of the clock moved. The words seemed to flow off the page as he read each one, incomprehensible to him aside from their sound. Information. Work. He needed to do something. Anything.

“Ghostbur, you said you liked writing books?” Wilbur had asked, once his mind had nearly succumbed to the silence.

“Oh, yeah?” Ghostbur had said quietly, a bit of curiosity creeping in. “It helped me remember and understand things better.”

Wilbur had smiled to the best of his ability. “How about we write one! We should keep track of what we know about everything somehow.” he said, finding that the words made more sense than he had originally anticipated, “We could write down what we know about our connection, and eventually figure out how to… Separate us.”

The ghost had gasped, “That’s a great idea!” he said, sounding a little more excited, even if  he still seemed tired.

And so, that was exactly what they’d done. In a chest downstairs, Wilbur had managed to find a dusty old empty book and quill, and had set it down on the nearest table. It dawned upon him that it had been quite a while since he’d written anything at all. Memories of declarations, and lighthearted words of victory, flooded his mind momentarily, until he managed to make sense of the quill’s movements. 

Ghostbur can communicate verbally with me, and I with him. The words seem to be clearer once they are directed at Ghostbur, though it is possible that the connection has simply become clearer over time. In addition to this, Ghostbur can hear the words and sounds of anyone and anything nearby, including muffled versions of them while I am unconscious.

As they wrote down more observations, the ghost seemed a lot more excited by his inclusion in something. By having a project to work on.

Wilbur thought, the self-centered bastard that he was, that perhaps this partially came from himself. That perhaps the ghost’s interest in keeping track of information in a library, or having a plan or something to complete, were some of the remains of Wilbur’s presence. Whichever part of Wilbur’s soul, however faint, that had stayed behind, upon his exit from this world. 

“You should mention that I see you sometimes too!” Ghostbur had chimed in.

Wilbur’s grip tightened around the pen, as he tried his best to remember some of his past interactions with Ghostbur regarding that. “Right…” he said quietly, “When have you seen me, again?”

“First time was right before Phil gave you that gapple, when you were really cold,” Ghostbur began, “Then after Phil left the mansion and you were on the ground shaking a little bit, then that one time with Niki,” Wilbur found his limbs turning heavier at each instance the ghost listed, and Ghostbur’s voice seemed to gain a tint of uncomfortable realization as he spoke as well, “During that conversation with Tommy where he… Got upset, shortly after you were shot, and uh… Under the table in the bunker a few month- days ago.”

Wilbur swallowed something in his throat, pressing the quill harder against the paper than he intended. “Got it.”

Ghostbur is apparently able to see me when I am experiencing intense emotions or experiences. We are uncertain if this works both ways.

Wasn’t that pathetic? That all those times, Wilbur hadn’t even looked up, or paid attention to his surroundings enough, to catch a certain glimpse of the one he had been speaking to ever since he returned? Did it work when Ghostbur was feeling intense feelings as well? Had he been so dense, as to not even pay attention to that?

Wilbur shook the thoughts off, and added a side note at Ghostbur’s request, detailing how it felt to pet Friend. It made Wilbur smile, ever so slightly, that that was something that was considered of utmost importance. 

Ghostbur feels what I feel physically to a certain degree. It seems to be related to the feeling’s intensity, however the longer I’ve stayed alive, the connection to touch seems to have grown stronger. Once again, we are uncertain if this works two ways.

With shaking hands, he added:

If it does work two ways, water appears to be an exception, as it burns Ghostbur regardless of which world it touches us in, without burning me.

He hardly punctuated the last sentence, before he shut the book, memories of pleas and apologies filling his mind. The addictive feeling of control, that was so incredibly unearned, yet appealing nonetheless. Submerging himself in water, until silence was all he would ever hear, and he would be alone. Alone in his mind, alone with his thoughts, and the ghost would never stop feeling the pain.

He kept his hand on the cover of the book, and his other tightly wrapped around the quill, until it felt too much as if both were burning him.

Instead, Wilbur sought out the bookcases, and the information that wouldn’t make Wilbur’s mind overflow with thoughts of the control he had. Because if Wilbur was always mere moments away from grasping at said control, the least he could do was postpone it, until such would only affect himself. Not that he cared particularly, but he could weave a few fragile threads of something that resembled it. Just for the time being.

And when even that became too much, he would lie down on a mattress, or lay his head down at the table, tossing and turning as he tried to drift into oblivion. The comforting darkness, that seemed more and more inaccessible to him each moment, and all the more tempting each day. He would eventually succeed, and would wake up to read a new time on the clock. Sometimes minutes later, sometimes hours, but always enough for him to hesitantly get up and keep going.

Totems weren’t any good for revivals. Apparently they’d tried using them to get Wilbur back. Nearly finding it in himself to ignore the strange improbable fact that there had been attempts to bring him back at all. Was his revival Dream’s own doing? Or the doing of wishes from others? If it was the latter, why had the reaction he’d gotten been so tense?

It was funny that, despite the attempts to revive him, everyone looked to him as if he brought himself back into the world. As if they didn’t spend hours if not days trying to bring him back. How their plans had changed and shifted constantly, and how the universe didn’t care.

There was also a bit of irony placed in Dream and how he hadn’t given a direct account on any historical events, since before L’Manberg. He found a few from George, but none of them were about Dream himself.

So that was what it had taken to take that perspective away from history, Wilbur had thought, ignoring that anything he might’ve said on the matters himself, had likely been blown up along with the nation in question.

Absent-mindedly, Wilbur had reread the parts of the book on Pandora’s box, about how he could gain access.

Not that anyone would let him. Not that the gist of memories didn’t fill him with dread that wasn’t his own. Not that it wasn’t a last resort. Though he latched onto the information nonetheless.

He was about to flip the page when the familiar echoing whisper filled his mind, “Wilbur?”

His voice was hoarse when he first tried to speak. He cleared his throat before responding once again, “Yeah?”

A hesitance lingered in the back of his mind. It oddly didn’t feel like his though. It was a soft blue contrary to his warm browns and occasional reds. 

“So…” Ghostbur took a deep breath, “Y’know how we aren’t going outside and stuff like that?”

Wilbur nodded, though confusion was portrayed on his face, “Mhm, why do you bring it up?”

“Oh! I- well, I was thinking about us going outside again?” Although it was a suggestion, the tilt at the end made it sound like a confirmation of thought. 

“Why would we do that? There’s enough food in here to last a while.” His eyes flickered across the page, “I would read to you again, but this book is about Dream.”

Ghostbur’s breath hitched as he stayed silent for a moment. “That’s fine. I was just wondering about seeing someone again.” Ghostbur quietly added near the end, “It’s been a while.”

“Don’t you want to get out of limbo?” Wilbur felt his words come off as disinterested with a hint of annoyance, but he frankly didn’t mind.

“I mean- yeah, but that doesn’t have to be our main priority right now. You can still enjoy your life.”

The life that no one wanted to be in. The life without a purpose. Well- he wouldn’t necessarily say that. His goal was to get the ghost out of his mind. Preferably, out of limbo as well.

“My life can be put on hold temporarily.”

Ghostbur hummed in a slight agreement, but it oddly lingered in distaste, “What if I want you to live your life?”

Wilbur rolled his eyes, “Living my life won’t give me information.”

“Interacting with people gives you information.”

“I can’t interact with people when there’s a ghost in my head constantly asking what I’m doing.” 

The moment he said the words, he was about to apologize when Ghostbur sharply spoke, “Maybe you could interact with people if you stopped running away and talked it out.”

A scowl melted onto Wilbur’s face with ease, “You haven’t even spent a day in my shoes so don’t act like you know everything.”

“Well- maybe I would know things if you talked to me more!”

“There’s nothing to talk about. Wow, Ghostbur, feeling upset right now. Wow, Ghostbur, feeling pain again.” He mocked Ghostbur’s voice as if he was imitating a small child, “Oh no, what’s that feeling? I have to react to absolutely everything because I’ve got nothing better to do!”

“I-” Ghostbur sharply cut himself off before taking a sharp inhale, “Maybe I don’t have anything better to do! Especially when you keep on throwing yourself directly into danger without even trying to give me a warning.”

Images flashed through Wilbur’s mind to dunk his hand in the cauldron that was only a few long strides away. Screams that echoed through his mind. The pain would be longer for Ghostbur as well since time passes differently in limbo. Just a few quick moments. Just a few seconds of his time and Ghostbur would finally shut up. 

His legs stood up automatically before he forced himself to sit down again. “Maybe it’s hard to give you a warning. Surprise, surprise, I don’t know when someone is going to shoot me!”

“It’s not about knowing when the moment comes! It’s about you putting yourself in dangerous situations that hurts us.”

“Oh. My. Fucking. Prime. Have you ever thought of why I stay in this bunker? I’ve found a place that’s safe and you just keep on complaining about it. We’ve only been here- what a few days?” Wilbur exhaled out of his nose in astonishment, “I’m trying to do something to help the both of us and you’re just whining like a toddler would.” All he had to do was walk to the cauldron. Just a few seconds of his time. It would be so easy. 

Ghostbur’s astonished voice cut through his thoughts, “Whining?” Ghostbur bitterly laughed once, “I’m just offering a suggestion to you, and you’re not even bothering to listen. If anything you’re- you’re the one acting childish!”

“I’m not!” His eyes focused on the cauldron, no longer looking at the air as he usually would when talking to Ghostbur.

“If you really aren’t childish, then go to someone and genuinely apologize!” Wilbur couldn’t even get a word in as Ghostbur continued, “You’ve constantly been running place to place without even thinking how others feel. That includes me! It includes the fact that you don’t tell me what you’re doing and you keep on hurting me with your recklessness!” 

Silence. 

But the silence was oddly different this time. It lingered on Wilbur’s end more than it did Ghostbur’s. He blinked a few times, attempting to pull his thoughts together before they wrapped around the cauldron. It would be so easy to pull a few screams out of Ghostbur. His breath hitched when he imagined pretending to injure himself, just to wash it off with water. The ghost would believe him too. He would believe Wilbur was hurt and willingly let the water be put on him.

Yet, it gave a much different feeling to not warn him. He wanted to hold an ice cube in his hand, explaining it to Ghostbur as he did it. The naive ghost wouldn’t even know what would happen. There would only be the faint burning as the ice cube melted. Even more so if he squeezed it. Sure, Wilbur would feel a bit of pain from the action, but he could always switch hands. He’d hear some new pleas if he did that. More crying if he continued doing it. The ghost would become so incoherent near the end, just begging for it to-

“Wilbur?” A voice made him jump as he looked over to see the source of it. The one and only Ranboo was staring near him, his hands were wrapped around a book he held to his chest. It looked similar to the other books Wilbur had been flipping through, but the cover seemed newer than the other ones. Slightly thinner as well.

“Ah- yes, I suppose that is me,” Wilbur stated.

“I… thought Tubbo didn’t really want anyone down here?” 

Wilbur slowly nodded, “Oh. Yeah, I guess he did say that.”

Ranboo awkwardly bounced on the balls of his feet, “Do you need help leaving?”

Wilbur glanced at the books remaining on the bookshelf, “I’m good.”

Ranboo laughed for a few moments. The sound filling the air rather than joining a joke, “Are you though? This place is a bit funny.” Ranboo quickly added, “I mean, not funny as in a joke kind of funny. But I guess I mean funky in a way, like it’s just sort of weird if you get what I’m saying. When I said funny, I just meant that it was funny the way it messes with your head, not that it’s actually-” Ranboo cut his own rambles off as he appeared uncomfortable, hunching slightly over his book.

“Don’t worry, I’ve gotcha.”

“Yeah, cool.” Ranboo met Wilbur’s eyes for a quick moment, the green one almost mesmerizing Wilbur. “So, is Tubbo asking you to help out?”

Wilbur raised an eyebrow before his eyes flickered to the book Ranboo was holding. A look of realization came across Wilbur’s face as he pieced together that Ranboo was probably helping Tubbo with the library. The boy seemed rather reserved, so he supposed that made sense. “Not exactly.” Wilbur continued after a few seconds of the clock next to him ticking, “I just figured I’d stay here a few days.”

Ranboo tilted his head slightly, “You don’t have a house? I thought you ran a nation and all of that stuff.”

Wilbur shrugged, “I don’t know, man. Houses aren’t really my thing.”

Ranboo exhaled sharply in a way that could have been interpreted as a laugh, “So you’ve been sleeping here for how long?”

“I’d say a few days now? Not sure, I haven’t really been keeping track.”

Ranboo nodded, “What do you do for food though? I don’t really see a pantry anywhere around here.” Ranboo inspected his surroundings once more as if a magical kitchen was going to appear right behind him.

“There’s some carrots and melons downstairs. I did see some wheat seeds in one of the chests though. I might start making bread.”

A confused expression came across Ranboo’s face, “Do you know how many rooms our mansion has? You can just go into one of the hundreds and we wouldn't know for weeks.”

Wilbur’s astonishment bounced off of Ranboo’s, “I didn't know I was supposed to break into your home and sleep in a random room?”

Ranboo was speechless for a moment as he starting talking and then cutting himself off before he simply stated, “Or you could have asked?”

Wilbur’s mind went back to Tubbo. The failed comfort as he went downstairs. He shaky arms around Ranboo’s torso as he left. The uncomfortableness that radiated whenever Ranboo was alone with Wilbur. 

Yeah, he’d rather pass on their fake smiles.

“I’m alright.”

Ranboo stayed in silence with him for a moment. It took a few seconds before Ranboo changed the topic, “So you know Michael right?” Wilbur nodded. “Well, we were just inviting some people to our house since we’re throwing a little party for him. Would you like to come?”

Wilbur seemed surprised that he would even get an invitation as Ghostbur quickly chimed in, “Okay, I don’t want to stay quiet anymore. Can we please go? Please, please, please, we’ll get to see everyone again!” Ghostbur’s pleas hit differently this time as they were colored with bright yellow excitement that he hadn’t heard from the ghost in awhile. 

Almost automatically he responded, “Sounds fun, we’ll go.”

“We?”

Embarrassment shot through Wilbur. “I meant I’ll go, my apologies.” He could hardly hear his own words as the back of his neck felt warm and Ghostbur cheered in excitement. 

Ranboo seemed slightly lost in his mind as well, as he quietly mumbled, “Right, yeah…” His face perked up when he added on, “It’s at our house- y’know the whole mansion thingy that you’ve been to a few times- at about noon.”

Wilbur looked to the clock subconsciously as if it was about to turn noon at that moment. He strangely found it was four o’clock in the morning. “Wait, what are you doing here so early in the morning?”

Panic glazed Ranboo’s eyes before he quickly mentioned, “I could ask you the same thing.”

Confusion filled Wilbur’s mind. He felt like the living embodiment of a question mark as he asked, “I already told you I don’t have a house. You have one though. That’s why I’m asking why you’re here since we established I’m technically homeless.”

Ranboo nodded, the movements seeming jerky. “Yeah, that makes sense.”

Wilbur was about to press more about the topic until he saw Ranboo’s shifting movements along with the raw fear evident on his face. Perhaps that was a side-effect of being a centrist- never explaining yourself or your views properly. Wilbur awkwardly supplemented, “It’s whatever. Thanks for inviting me to the party.”

Ranboo seemed to immediately relax, “No problem.”

“Is it noon as in six hours from now, or noon as in tomorrow?”

Ranboo looked at the clock. “I didn’t even realize it was four in the morning- wow- but yeah, six hours from now. Wait- four plus six is ten and that’s not noon.”

Wilbur felt like an idiot, but in the kind that made him laugh gently at his mistake, “Oh, fuck, you’re right.”

Ranboo let out a short laugh, “Mood.”

Wilbur nodded, “But, yeah that time works for me.” After a short sigh, he realized how exhausted both of them were. The eye bags were present on Ranboo’s face after he looked for a moment. The boy seemed to constantly shift as Wilbur looked away with a yawn.

Ranboo yawned as well, but an enderman vwoop came out instead of the typical human noise. Wilbur wanted to ask why the strange sounds came out of him, but he felt his eyes droop slightly. 

Ranboo noted the energy in the room as he started walking towards downstairs, “Alright, I’m gonna head out.”

“Good night- or rather good morning.”

Ranboo chuckled, “Good morning to you as well, Wilbur.” Ghostbur chuckled along in the back of his mind, seeming much happier than before.

[hellyeahheroes]

Harvey Richards and Lateef Ade "L.A." Williams have a lot in common. They both grew up reading comics with aspirations to work in the industry one day. They both ultimately nabbed roles on the editorial staff of DC Comics in the 1990s.

And they are both Black men who say they never achieved their full potential at DC Comics because of their race.

There are differences in their stories — notably, the time periods. Williams exited his role as an assistant editor in 2000 after six years without a promotion, while Richards spent 22 years at the comics giant with just one promotion before he was fired in December 2019.

But the similarities that cut across those two decades are striking and speak to how little has changed for Black editorial staffers at DC Comics and in the comics industry at large.

Richards was the only Black staffer in the main DC editorial department at the time of his exit in 2019, which included about 15 people, he said. He added that DC had since hired a Black assistant editor. DC declined to comment on personnel matters.

DC, which is home to Batman, Superman, and other iconic characters, is much larger than its comics editorial department, with around 200 employees on the publishing side. But the small team of editors shape the comics and characters that inspire lucrative movies, video games, TV shows, and merchandise.

"You need [Black] editors to help nurture talent to foster diverse characters," Richards said.

Besides being the only Black editorial staffer at the time of his exit, Richards felt stymied in his own career, he said. In his 22 years at the company, he was only promoted once. He began as an assistant editor and 12 years later, in 2009, he was promoted to associate editor.

L.A. Williams can relate.

"My personality and work style is different than Harvey's, who is different from every other name I could rattle off," Williams said. "But no matter how different our work styles or personalities are, the reality is that every one of our stories ended up the same. When it keeps happening year after year, person after person, you have to ask yourself what all of these people have in common."

A Latinx former assistant editor, who exited in 1999 after five years without a promotion, shared similar concerns with Business Insider about a lack of a career path forward at DC and a sense that her work was undervalued.

The stories of these three former DC editors are also similar to that of Charles Beacham, a former Marvel editor who spoke with Business Insider in July. Beacham was one of two Black editorial staffers Marvel had employed in the last five years and quit in 2017 because he felt his voice wasn't heard.

For Richards, there were many instances during his time at DC when he felt he was treated unfairly. He recalled specific instances with Paul Levitz, the DC publisher at the time, like when Levitz told Richards he had "grammar problems," and when Levitz told him "some people think you deserve this" when Richards won an award. Richards was never promoted while Levitz was publisher and president.

Williams also described a confrontation with Levitz, in which Levitz told Williams that he would never be promoted as long as he was publisher.

In response to a request for comment, Levitz said: "I'm not going to comment on decades old incidents. I'm proud of the increasing diversity at DC in my time as an executive there, and while we didn't achieve an ideal balance, I think much changed for the better."

Since Richards' departure, DC has taken some steps to promote diversity and inclusion.

Two women — Marie Javins and Michele Wells — were named interim editors-in-chief after recent layoffs. DC recently hired former Activision Blizzard exec Daniel Cherry, who is Black, as its new senior vice president and general manager, overseeing marketing, sales, and more for the company.

DC is also reviving Milestone, a division of DC that focused on Black characters like Static Shock and was founded in 1993 by four Black men. It ceased operations in 1997 but will return in February.

But for Richards and Williams, it's essential to have Black voices on the editorial front to help inspire change and champion a diverse set of voices and characters.

For Williams, comics were his life. He had written his senior thesis in Afro-American studies at the University of Massachusetts on the history of Black characters in superhero comics.

So when he got a job at DC Comics in 1994, it was a dream come true. But he faced roadblocks that previewed Richards' own experiences in the coming years.

Williams, 51, recalled an instance in 2000 when some assistant editors were given a monthly comic to edit on their own by then-executive-editor Mike Carlin, who is now a DC Entertainment creative director. Williams said the assistant editors of color were set up to fail and given comics that were doomed from the start.

But Williams turned his assigned book, "Impulse," starring a Flash sidekick that had been hurting in sales, into a success.

Carlin wasn't happy. Williams said Carlin cursed him out for getting veteran comics creator Walt Simonson to draw two issues of the comic, and "wasting his time on Impulse when he should be drawing other characters like Superman."

Carlin did not return a request for comment. DC declined to provide a comment on his behalf.

That sense of not being valued even when he succeeded was a hallmark of Williams' time at DC, he said.

After a white associate editor was fired, Carlin offered Williams to take over that editor's books, which included one of DC's best-selling comics at the time, "Wonder Woman."

Williams remembered vividly what Carlin told him: "I've had my doubts about you, but you've delivered. Everything is always on time, it sells, and critics like it."

"I thanked him for my promotion," Williams said. "And he interrupted me and said it didn't come with a promotion. I feel so stupid now, but at the time I was so confused and asked why it wouldn't come with a promotion."

More than two decades later, Williams said the answer was obvious to him.

Williams' DC career ended just as Richards' was just getting started.

Richards, 48, moved from Akron, Ohio, to New York City in 1995 and began his comics career with an internship at the original Milestone, which then shut down in 1997. His Milestone connections eventually led him to DC, where he started in the mailroom and then became an assistant editor.

"I was living my dream at this point," Richards said.

In 2001, after four years as an assistant editor, Richards was offered the chance to work on the Superman titles. It wouldn't have been a promotion, but a chance to prove himself (the chain generally went like this: assistant editor, associate editor, editor, group editor, and executive editor).

But Richards was given what he said was the "unusual" task to write about what he "could bring to the Superman books." Paul Levitz, then the EVP and publisher of DC, told Richards he had "grammar problems" after he completed the assignment, Richards said.

"After that, Levitz made up his mind about me," Richards said. "I felt he already had because most people are promoted after four years. But after that, it was over, even if I got a good review or worked on good projects or got company awards for going above and beyond."

Richards won two such awards, called "Carrots," which were given by DC's parent company, Warner Bros. After he won the second time, Levitz handed it to him and said "some people think you deserve this," Richards said.

Richards was finally promoted to associate editor in 2009, 12 years after he was hired, when Diane Nelson took over as president of DC Entertainment.

Richards' time at DC came to an end in December.

He had been put on zero-tolerance probation in August of last year. The document Richards provided Business Insider outlined "poor time management skills and an inability to meet deadlines." Richards said he was being overworked.

The day after he returned to the office from Thanksgiving break last year, he was let go with a six-month severance and told he "no longer fit company standards."

He's still looking for work while honing his digital art skills. He said a potential employer asked him why he was only promoted once in all that time at DC.

"It wasn't because of my work performance," Richards said. "I feel like they blacklisted me."

19 years earlier, Williams had left DC with similar sentiments.

After a confrontation over Williams using the likeness of the Alabama governor in an issue of "Impulse," Williams said Levitz told him: "As long as I am publisher of DC Comics, you will never be promoted. You're welcome to stay here in the role of assistant editor for as long as you like."

Williams thought the timing of the dispute — shortly after he had filed a racial-discrimination complaint with human resources against Carlin — was suspect. He quit shortly after.

"I naively thought that as long as I do good work, the comics sell, and the critics like them, I'm going to do well," he said. "As a Black man in America, I knew I wouldn't be able to make as many mistakes as others. But I thought the solution was, work harder and do better."

Their experiences highlight why editors of color are so important, Richards said. They can help "realize a creator's vision" and promote more diversity in comics. He lamented that he never got that opportunity. And Black editors in senior positions could provide a source of support for ones in assistant or associate roles, he said.

"Ideas came down, they didn't go up," he said. "And I didn't have anyone above me advocating for me."

He hopes the recent shakeup at DC affords marginalized groups more opportunities and he sees more women in comics than ever before. Jessica Chen, who is Asian American, was promoted from associate editor to editor last year, for example. But Richards also noted there is still a lack of Black women in the industry.

"Change is going to come," he said. "It has to."

A harrowing look into DC’s history of racism which, among other things, made Lateef Williams, an editor who helped Impulse book avoid cancellation, to quit.

-Admin

[hunnybadgerv]

For your fandom ask: H, N, S, and Z?

From the Fandom Meme

H - What is your favorite source text for fandom stuff (e.g., tv shows, movies, books, anime, Western animation, etc.) Most of my fandom source texts are video games. Not sure why, but I don’t get quite as invested in films or TV shows the way I do with video games. And sometimes it happens with books, but only really rarely. I’m not sure why. I mean with books and shows, sometimes I’ve thought about writing things, but I usually don’t end up going through with it. I think because at that point I’m messing with only someone else’s characters and it is hard for me to get invested fully into work that is only the creation of another.

With video games, I get to participate in the world in a manner of speaking. There is an interactivity and engagement inherent to video games that creates a different focus and a buy-in that is not present in other sources, at least for me. I get to create a character and fit them into this world and watch them move through it--and sure they fall along a certain line according to the developers’ plans, but I do get to have a hand in it. It’s the reason I’m a sucker for RPG games.

N - Name three things you wish you saw more or in your main fandom (or a fandom of choice) I’ll be honest, I’m not really sure what I’d say for any of my fandoms. But I do kind of sit at the edge of my fandoms, all of them. I’m not in the middle of anything in any of them, and I’m perfectly content there because I’m moderate participant at best.

1. I’d really like to see the Saints Row fandom revive itself. It used to be quite a lively and welcoming location. It seems that most of those that remain are the gatekeepers.

2. I’d like to see more respect and inclusion for Faith Seed. There is a group of people in that fandom that like to treat her like she is not part of the family. Despite this tendency in some corners of the Far Cry 5 fandom, most of the people I’m surrounded by also hold that Faith is a valid member of the family who should be included in discussions and representations of the Seed siblings.

3. This question would be so very much easier if I was a more active participant in my fandoms. Overall, I wish more of us, in all my fandoms, were still active on tumblr. A lot of people migrated away. Perhaps if I were more active in other places, I would still be able to reach out to them. Though I know many of them are on Discord, it’s just not a medium that works for my mind. Plus, I’ve kind of been cut off from things so long that I still struggle with maintaining connections with people. It’s something I’m particularly bad at.

Z - Just ramble about something fan-related, go go go (prompts optional but encouraged) Okay, so this is more difficult than I anticipated.

I’m both fearing and excited about the Legendary version of Mass Effect releasing in May. I really am looking forward to the graphical update and the game play cleanup. Though I really don’t know that I want to see them adjust the Mako controls, I loved that sketchy thing and the fact that if you tried hard enough you could climb over anything. I loved the Mako in all it’s flaws and fabulousness.

I’m also kind of concerned about the possibility of them altering the story or the characters in some way.

There is a tendency nowadays for fan opinions to be able to alter plans, story, and characters in media. And I really don’t want them to change the franchise in order to meet some loud corner of the fandom. I loved the game as it was, flaws and all. I really fear that they might institute some odd change to suit some rabid corner of the internet that will unravel the fabric of something I’ve loved for so long.

Though in the same vein, I’d love to see some changes here and there. Perhaps the ability to romance Ashley as fShepard, or Kaidan in the ME 1 timeline as mShep. I don’t know. But then again. If I rally for those sorts of changes, then I open myself up to the other potential changes.

S - Show us an example of your personal headcanon (prompts optional but encouraged) Hmm. I really enjoy the templar’s lore in Dragon Age, but I wanted to see where else I might be able to take it. I thought, what if there was some magic in templars that allowed them to wield lyrium effectively. And I started doing some reading with old chivalric knights and ideas about knighthood and chivalry in histroy and literature and I wanted to bring that kind of sense into the templars lore, perhaps even a forgotten or overlooked bit of lore for them. And I started playing around with the idea of Templars containing or controlling their own magical ability that is only enhanced by the lyrium. And this kind of happened.

I put it under a cut because it is incredibly long.

Malcolm found his daughter sitting in the grass at the back fence. She had been crying and he was disturbed by the idea that his wife's concern may have been more warranted than he'd given it credit for. He sat next to her and leaned against the fence. "Tell me," he said trying to keep his voice even.

"I don't even know," she said weakly.

Malcolm slid his arm around her shoulders. "Did… did he?" He could barely say it let alone think it.

She shook her head. "No, Father," Aderyn said surprised that he could think that. "I really don't know how to explain it." She wasn't sure how to talk about this with her father. But he was the only person who might be able to help her. She explained some things, though not others. She left out the details about how Cullen had ended up shirtless. "I saw a glow, it was strange. There was no warmth either, which is why I can't figure out how I burned him. I can always feel the glow of fire," she said as she stared at the grass running the event through her head.

"It was a burn?"

"Well, not really. That's what it looked like. And Cullen said something," she said looking up at her father hopefully. "That there was nothing discernable."

"You should have brought him with you."

"What did I do to him?" she asked, clearly concerned. "And how can I control something when I don't know what it is?"

"Did he return to the Chantry?"

She shook her head and shrugged. "I don't know." He looked at her for a moment. "I was scared. No, appalled. I hid. I  …"

"I'm sorry I can't assuage your fears. I'll see him as soon as I can. See if there is anything I can do," Malcolm said, hoping to reassure her some. He stood and offered her his hand.

"Aderyn!" They both turned to see him running up the path. He hopped over the fence and stopped when he saw her father's face. "Malcolm, pardon me."

"No need." Malcolm ushered them both inside and quickly into his small study. If what his daughter said was true he had to be objective, at least until he found out what had happened. He could be an upset father after he knew what had happened. Aderyn started to leave, but Malcolm told her he would need her assistance.

"Show me," Malcolm said as his fingers moved across the spines of books on a shelf. When he turned and saw the mark he dropped the books he'd pulled off the shelf. He glanced at the templar then looked at his daughter for a long moment. He clinched his jaw and gathered the books he dropped. The mage set the books on the table and touched the distinctive mark in the center of the young man's chest. "Did it burn?"

Cullen shook his head. "I didn't feel anything." He looked over at the unnerved woman in the corner. "Aderyn saw a glow. I can't tell anything about it, it's like there's no trace of magic to it."

Within the hour Malcolm was more concerned about what had occurred than that his daughter had been in a position to leave such a mark on the young man. He could find nothing in his research. The three of them had sat there for several hours as Malcolm searched through his books with the help of his daughter. When her father left the room in search of a rare volume he kept in a chest in his bedroom, Aderyn handed Cullen his shirt back and he stood and slipped it on again.

"I'm sorry," he whispered standing behind her. She leaned back against his chest and he set his hand on her hip.

"You have nothing to apologize for," she replied replacing her father's books on the shelves.

"It doesn't matter." "How can you say that?" she asked glancing up at him over her shoulder. She shelved another volume. "You can't hide what I've done."

"Actually, I can. Quite easily I must add. I'm not one for running around shirtless."

Aderyn would beg to differ, she'd seen the sight several times, but she couldn't make light of the situation she was in. She was too scared for him, for herself, but most of all, for her family. She turned around and leaned against the bookcase. "How can you not be concerned?"

He set his hands on the bookcase on either side of her shoulders and gazed down into her eyes. "You are more than concerned enough for both of us." She glared at him a moment. "I'll tell you a secret." He leaned toward her. "I don't think it's the result of magic."

"What then?" Her look changed dramatically.

"I think it's something else. More potent than magic." He leaned toward her, but she ducked under his arm as the door opened.

"Smart boy." Malcolm closed the door behind himself, completely this time. "It's not something that can be performed by a mage." He looked at his daughter who seemed most surprised by the news; she sat down slowly. "As odd as this statement is. It's templar magic." Cullen laughed, but it was cut short by the look on Malcolm's face and a glance at the seal on the cover of the book. "It's a promise. Sealed by a touch."

Cullen looked at him curiously. Malcolm touched the book then looked back to the templar. "If this is correct, Aderyn give me your hand." She reached out to her father and he turned her right hand over to look at it. He nodded and loosed her hand. Aderyn touched her palm then looked up at Cullen, it was completely smooth. She showed the discovery to the templar. He ran his fingertips across her palm.

"I've never heard of anything like this," Cullen said marvelling at the complete lack of any texture on her palm.

"It is rare," Malcolm said. "I didn't think it could be the cause, truthfully I always thought it was little more than another part of templar legend, part of the myth." Both of them looked over at him carefully.  He sat down and closed the book. "An old friend claimed he was marked by his wife in such a way, ... on their wedding night," he added carefully. "It's determined by overwhelming trust and connection to another."

[bog-o-bones]

Kaiju Media Forecast 2020

The kaiju fandom has certainly seen a gigantic upswing in content since the last time I did one of these “year going forward” reviews. Let’s take a look at some of the major movies, events, merchandise and more that kaiju fans have to look forward to in the coming year!

Movies

Every year since at least 2013, the kaiju fandom has had one “tentpole” film event of the year, usually the most highly anticipated feature coming out that year that most media and merchandise hype will surround. This year’s choice is the latest (and possibly last?) of the Legendary MonsterVerse which just last year introduced us to the first American incarnations of Mothra, Rodan, and King Ghidorah. Later this year, the King of the Monsters will once again take on the King of Skull Island in a rematch nearly 60 years in the making with Godzilla vs. Kong. The only snippet of footage we’ve seen is featured in the screenshot above and recently leaked toy fair displays have quite a lot in store for the big crossover event of the MonsterVerse. Godzilla vs. Kong drops November 20th.

According to your definition, the first kaiju film of 2020 launched two weeks ago with Underwater. The Kristen Stewart-helmed deep-sea monster movie isn’t really making the splash it was looking for box office-wise and most people who have seen it say that it’s okay at worst. Regardless, if you like big monsters and quasi-Cloverfield type films, you can give it a shot in theaters now or in a few months when it hits home media.

Godzilla’s sole big screen appearance won’t just be limited to the big crossover with Kong as a snow-covered cameo role will land him a spot in the new Shinkalion movie. From a clip posted on Yahoo Japan (refresh the page if it doesn’t work) Godzilla briefly faces Hatsune Miku piloting a giant train-based mecha (I tried pinching myself, believe me) at the very end. This role is likely going to be very short but nonetheless, it’s always satisfying to see Godzilla pop up in the most unexpected places.

Again, stretching the definition of “kaiju” here, but also apparently the Monster Hunter movie still exists and is coming out later this year in September? I don’t know much about the franchise, but I do know it’s probably going to be butchered with a Paul W.S. Anderson directed schlock fest. Who knows, maybe the monster scenes will make up for it?

As is tradition, the Ultraman franchise hits us once again with an annual theatrical movie based off the previous year’s show. Ultraman Taiga The Movie: New Generation Climax will be out in March and judging by the title, will feature a climactic event featuring the New Generation assortment of Ultraman heroes. I still have yet to see Taiga but hopefully this provides a fun conclusion to the show.

Famed director Hideaki Anno returns to the world of his most famous creation with Evangelion 3.0+1.0, the highly anticipated final installment in the Rebuild series to be released this June. I have not seen any of the Rebuild movies myself but this is sure to be a wild and crazy ride for Evangelion fans.

Finally, the oddball of the bunch. Kadokawa rises from it’s dusty grave with a brand new monster film focused on the unproduced predecessor to Gamera: Nezura 1964. Featuring giant rat monsters and a cast comprised of many Daiei/Kadokawa favorites, it’ll be interesting to see if this film can capitalize on the recent kaiju craze and be successful enough to possibly give our old turtle friend the revival he truly deserves. Nezura 1964 is due out in December in Japan.

Television

Not much on the television docket this year. It’s far too early to speculate about Tsuburaya’s next Ultra series, leaving us with little to discuss. Studio Trigger is supposedly making some kind of new series related to it’s Gridman show from last year (another item I have yet to see). Titled SSSS.DYNAZENON, nobody knows when it’s due out so for all I know this could be a rather outdated entry.

What we do know for sure is coming is something not particularly kaiju but still related via the tokusatsu connection is the continuation of Kamen Rider Zero-One, the first Rider series in Japan’s newly named Reiwa period. This isn’t really related to the year 2020 but honestly I’d rather have something in this TV section to talk about than just the Gridman sequel.

Merchandise

Last year was one of the greatest years in the history of the American Ultraman fandom with the officially sanctioned releases of Ultra Q, Ultraman, Ultraseven, Ultraman Orb and Ultraman Geed to Blu-Ray in the West for the very first time. In this new year, Mill Creek will continue to satiate the needs of Western Ultra fans with releases of previously unseen-on-western-disc series Return of Ultraman, Ultraman Ace, Ultraman X, and the Ultraman Orb Origin Saga. A schedule flyer released online also teases many other entries in the franchise making the continuous release of these beloved shows a treat to look forward to. You can pre-order the four releases discussed above on Amazon.

American toy company Playmates acquired the license for the Godzilla vs. Kong toyline last year and in early January, a few figures from their non-film focused toylines showed up at Walmarts across the country. They’re uh...well, let’s be honest: they’re not great. Leaked images of the Godzilla vs. Kong toyline were also shared around social media but I’ll avoid talking about them here for spoiler purposes. Let’s just say the line is looking mighty juicy for kaiju fans and it will be interesting to see if they’re promoted come New York Toy Fair.

Bandai’s Movie Monsters Series line will likely continue to issue newly reissued/remolded monsters in the Godzilla line (as well as produce new figures for Godzilla vs. Kong) but coming out in March is a sight for sore eyes: a brand new sculpt of the 1995 Gamera design for the 25th anniversary of Gamera: Guardian of the Universe. Hopefully a Super Gyaos is not far behind!

The S.H. MonsterArts line had a fairly predictable and underwhelming list of releases last year. Great figures for the most part, but obvious choices without much surprise. This being a movie year, I don’t expect much to change and we’ll likely see Godzilla vs. Kong figures soon enough. What is confirmed and releasing in May is their take on the Burning Godzilla design featured in Godzilla: King of the Monsters last year. Originally a Tamashii WebShop exclusive, it’s being released in America by Bluefin around June.

Media company SRS Cinema continues to throw unexpected independent kaiju films our way with releases of Deep Sea Monster Reigo and Deep Sea Monster Raiga last year on limited Blu-Ray and wide-release DVD. They’ll continue the assortment this year with Attack of the Giant Teacher and Raiga vs. Ohga. The films likely won’t be much to look at, but more independent kaiju films seeing a western release is never a bad thing. Here’s hoping Daikaiju Eiga G or Gehara see a release soon.

In an almost perfect repeat of Daiei and Toho’s box office bout sixty years ago, boutique label Arrow Video has reportedly secured the rights to the Gamera franchise and are planning a box set that could rival Criterion’s late 2019 release of the entire Showa Godzilla series. Arrow Video puts out sublime products and kaiju fans will likely want to keep their eyes peeled for this set, even if they’ve already secured Mill Creek’s rather dull bargain sets from years past.

While not on the docket for tie-ins to Godzilla vs. Kong (yet), NECA will likely be continuing to pump out new figures in their Classic Godzilla line. No brand new sculpts are known at the moment, but fans can look forward to a blue, poster-styled repaint of their KOTM Mothra figure and some reissues of their older molds in new box-styled, poster-featuring packaging. Some, like the 1985 Godzilla, might even feature newly molded details.

In rather shocking news, Media Blasters has seemingly propped one of its kaiju films up from the depths of licensing hell with an announcement of a Blu-Ray release of Gappa the Triphibian Monsters scheduled for a February release. The out-of-nowhere circumstances surrounding this release as well as a proclaimed inclusion of an “uncut” Japanese release (despite the International version containing more footage than the Japanese version) and Media Blasters rather spotty history regarding kaiju Blu-Rays should have folks taking this with a grain of salt until the actual discs are in collectors’ hands.

Events

As per usual, the kaiju fan’s Woodstock G-FEST will be continuing it’s annual celebration of all things giant monster from July 10-12 at the Crowne Plaza Chicago O’Hare in Rosemont, IL. No guest announcements at this time, but fans looking to go should register and book a hotel immediately as attendance will continue to spike and rooms in the convention’s hotel are already sold out.

As is tradition, the San Diego Comic Con will take place this summer a week after G-FEST is over and will likely bring with it new information on Godzilla vs. Kong and many other kaiju-related media. NECA will possibly show off new figures and we may even see some post-2020 information on the MonsterVerse.

Not necessarily guaranteed, but kaiju fans may also want to look out for this year’s New York ToyFair taking place in February. ToyFair has pretty much become the SDCC for toy collectors with many companies showing off their new products for the new year. Kaiju collectors will possibly get a glimpse at the Playmates Godzilla vs. Kong assortment as well as a few other possible surprise reveals from other companies like NECA or Diamond Select.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

2020 is looking to be a monstrous year for kaiju fans. Hopefully the fandom will enjoy everything to come from our favorite franchises.

Here’s to a happy 2020!

[foreverlogical]

Donald Trump is running for the presidency of an America that no longer exists.

Trump in recent weeks has repeatedly reprised two of Richard Nixon’s most memorable rallying cries, promising to deliver “law and order” for the “silent majority.” But in almost every meaningful way, America today is a radically different country than it was when Nixon rode those arguments to win the presidency in 1968 amid widespread anti-war protests, massive civil unrest following the assassination of Martin Luther King Jr., white flight from major cities, and rising crime rates. Trump’s attempt to emulate that strategy may only prove how much the country has changed since it succeeded.

Americans today are far more racially diverse, less Christian, better educated, more urbanized, and less likely to be married. In polls they are more tolerant of interracial and same-sex relationships, more likely to acknowledge the existence of racial discrimination, and less concerned about crime.

Almost all of these changes complicate Trump’s task in trying to rally a winning electoral coalition behind his alarms against marauding “angry mobs,” “far-left fascism,” and “the violent mayhem we have seen in the streets of cities that are run by liberal Democrats.” The Americans he is targeting with his messages of racial resentment and cultural backlash are uniformly a smaller share of American society now than they were then.

Not all the country’s changes present headwinds for Trump. The population is older now, and older white voters in particular remain a receptive audience for Trump’s messages of cultural and racial division (even if his mishandling of the coronavirus outbreak has notably softened his support among him). Fifty years ago, Southern evangelicals still mostly leaned toward the Democratic Party; now they have become a pillar of the Republican coalition. And while many Northern white Catholics back then might have recoiled from Trump-style attacks on immigrants as a smear on their own heritage, now “when Trump talks about making America great again,” more of them “see themselves as part of that country that is getting protected,” says Robert P. Jones, the founder and chief executive of the nonpartisan Public Religion Research Institute and the author of White Too Long, a new book on Christian churches and white supremacy.

[David Frum: This is Trump’s plague now]

Together, those shifts have solidified for Republicans a much more reliable advantage among white voters without a college education than they enjoyed in Nixon’s era. Like Trump, who once declared “I love the poorly educated,” Nixon recognized that he was shifting the GOP’s traditional class basis. On “tough problems, the uneducated are the ones that are with us,” Nixon told his White House advisers, according to David Paul Kuhn’s vivid new book about blue-collar backlash in that era, The Hardhat Riot. “The educated people and the leader class,” Nixon continued, “no longer have any character, and you can’t count on them.”

Trump might echo both of those assessments. But he is offering them to a very different audience. The demographic shifts that have most reshaped politics since Nixon’s day sit at the crossroads of race, education, and religion.

From the 2016 GOP primaries forward, white voters without a college education have provided Trump’s largest group of loyalists. In the 1968 presidential election, that group comprised nearly 80 percent of all voters, according to post-election surveys by both the Census Bureau and the University of Michigan’s American National Election Studies. White Americans holding at least a four-year college degree represented about 15 percent of voters, with non-whites, almost all of them Black, comprising the remainder, at just under 10 percent. (Emory University political scientist Alan Abramowitz analyzed the ANES data for me.)

That electorate is unrecognizable now. The nonpartisan States of Change project has forecast that non-college-educated white Americans will likely constitute 42 percent of voters in November, not much more than half their share in 1968. States of Change anticipates that both college-educated whites and voters of color will represent about 30 percent of voters in 2020. For the former group, that’s about twice their share in 1968; for the latter, that’s somewhere between a three- and four-fold increase.

The change is just as dramatic when looking at the nation’s religious composition. White Christians comprised fully 85 percent of all American adults in 1968, according to figures from Gallup, provided to me by senior editor Jeffrey M. Jones. They now represent only half as much of the population, 42 percent, according to PRRI’s latest national figures.

The groups that have grown since then reflect the nation’s increasing racial and religious diversity. In 1968, non-white Christians represented only 8 percent of Americans; now that’s tripled to just over 24 percent in the PRRI study. Most explosive has been the growth of those who identify as secular or unaffiliated with any religious tradition. They represented just 3 percent of Americans in 1968; now it’s 24 percent.

Other shifts in society’s structure since that era are equally profound. Census Bureau reports show that a much smaller share of adults are married now than they were then. Only about half as many Americans live in small-town or rural communities outside of major metropolitan areas. The share with at least some college experience is about triple its level then.

Across all these dimensions, the consistent pattern is this: The groups Trump hopes to mobilize—non-college-educated, non-urban, married, and Christian white voters—have significantly shrunk as a share of the overall society in the last 50 years. The groups most alienated from him include many of the ones that have grown over those decades: college- educated white people, people of color, seculars, singles, and residents of the large metro areas.

Trump faces two other big challenges in channeling Nixon. One is that the crime rate, especially the rate of violent crime, doesn’t provide as compelling a backdrop for a law-and-order message as it did during the 1960s. The overall violent-crime rate increased by more than 50 percent just from 1964 to 1968, en route to doubling by the early 1970s. Robberies per person more than doubled between 1960 and 1968. The murder rate soared by 40 percent just between 1964 and 1968; by 1972 it was nearly 85 percent higher than in 1964. In Gallup surveys from September 1968, 13 percent of college-educated white voters, 11 percent of non-college-educated white voters, and 9 percent of non-white voters identified crime as the biggest problem facing the nation.

Today, overall crime rates are much lower, a change that’s made possible the revival of central cities around the country. After violent crime peaked in 1991, it declined fairly steadily for about 15 years. It’s proved more volatile over the past decade: The violent-crime rate fell from 2008 to 2014, then rose through 2016 and has dipped again since. As Trump did in 2016, with his dark warnings about “American carnage” following the uptick in crime late in Barack Obama’s second term, he is again using recent findings of elevated murder rates in some cities to raise the specter of Democrats unleashing a new crime surge. “Despite the left-wing sowing chaos in communities all across the country … and the heart breaking murders in Democrat controlled cities like Chicago, New York City, and Atlanta, Joe Biden has turned his back on any semblance of law and order,” the Republican National Committee warned in a press release yesterday morning.

But James Alan Fox, a criminologist at Northeastern University, said that any crime spikes this year amount to “short-term fluctuation [in] a long-term trend” toward greater safety. “We’ve enjoyed, really since the early 1990s, a decline in crime,” he told me. “From year to year, some cities see decreases, some see increases, [but] there’s no crime wave … although Trump may want to construct one—a trumped-up one.”

Though polls generally show concern about crime hasn’t fallen as fast as crime itself, Americans haven’t entirely missed this long-term trajectory: In June Gallup polling, just 3 percent of adults cited crime as the nation’s top problem, far less than in 1968.

Trump’s other big obstacle is that racial attitudes have shifted since then. That’s partly because people of color represent such a larger share of American society. But it’s also because college-educated and secular white Americans, who tend to hold more inclusive views on racial issues than non-college-educated and Christian whites, are also a bigger portion of the white population. Gallup polling in 1968 consistently documented a high level of white anxiety about the pace of racial change: Almost half of white Americans said the federal government was moving too fast to promote integration; two-thirds said Black people did not face discrimination in hiring; and, most strikingly, a bristling three-fifths majority supported a policy of shooting looters on sight during riots. On each front, college-educated white people were less likely to express conservative views than those without degrees, but even they split about evenly on these questions.

[Read: The rage unifying boomers and Gen Z]

A half-century later, racism remains ever-present in America. But many more white people appear willing to acknowledge its persistence, especially in the national debate that has followed the killing of George Floyd in Minneapolis. A recent Monmouth poll found that most white people now agree police are more likely to use deadly force against African Americans, while CNN found that most whites agree the criminal-justice system is biased. And while Trump has called Black Lives Matter “a symbol of hate,” three-fifths of white people expressed support for the movement in a June Pew Research Center poll. White people with a college degree were consistently more likely than those without one to express such liberal views on race, but these perspectives claimed significant support among non-college white Americans as well.

Those attitudes point toward a final key difference from 1968. Back then, many anxious white voters genuinely believed Nixon could deliver law and order; but today, many white Americans, especially those with degrees, have concluded that Trump himself is increasing the risk of lawlessness and disorder. In one particularly striking result, Quinnipiac University last month found that college-educated white people were twice as likely to say that having Trump as president made them feel less safe rather than more safe. That’s a very different equation than Nixon faced: Though he may have considered “the uneducated” the most receptive audience for his hardline messages, he overwhelmingly won college-educated white voters too, carrying about two-thirds of them in both of his victories, according to the ANES. Some recent polls have shown Trump carrying only one-third of them now.

Trump still has an audience for his neo-Nixonian warnings about an approaching wave of disorder: In that same Quinnipiac survey, a solid plurality of white voters without a degree said they feel more safe with Trump as president (even though many blue-collar whites have also expressed unease about his response to the protests). In a PRRI poll last year, majorities of white Protestants, Catholics, and especially evangelicals said discrimination against white people was as big a problem as bias against minorities. Yet both these groups—working-class and Christian white voters—will each likely comprise only about half as many of the voters in November as they did when Nixon prevailed five decades ago.

Those numbers won’t become any more favorable for Republicans in the years ahead: While white Americans accounted for four-fifths of the nation’s total population growth from 1960 through 1968, Frey noted in a recent report that all of the nation’s population growth since 2010 has been among people of color; the final 2020 Census, he concludes, will likely find that this has been the first decade ever when the absolute number of white people in the country declines. The shift in the nation’s religious composition is as unrelenting: Jones says that the share of adults in their twenties who identify as secular grew from 10 percent in 1986 to 20 percent in 1996 to nearly 40 percent in PRRI’s latest study. Only one-fourth of adults younger than 30 now identify as white Christians.

Trump hopes that reprising Nixon-style messages about disorder will allow him to mobilize massive margins and turnout among the white voters who feel threatened by these changes. But the country’s underlying evolution shows how narrow a path Trump has chosen. He is betting the Republican future on resurrecting a past that is dissolving before his eyes.

VISIT WEBSITE

[razberryyum]

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The Untamed/陈情令 Rewatch, Episode 13, Part 2 of 2

(spoilers for everything MDZS/Untamed)

[covers MDZS chapters 52, 53 and 54]

WangXian meter: 🐰🐰🐰+🐰🐰+🐰🐰+🐰🐰+🐰🐰+🐰🐰🐰+🐰🐰🐰+🐰🐰+🐰🐰+🐰+🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰

Continued from Part 1...

Xuanwu Cave Comparison

Between the novel, audio drama, donghua, and live action depictions of the Xuanwu cave event, there are marked differences that determine my preference for each version, so here’s how I would rank them (and this is only applicable to the Xuanwu cave adaptation):  

novel > live action > audio drama > donghua

Since the novel is the og source, its depiction should naturally rank above all versions of MDZS, but if I’m going to be honest, I debated a bit whether the The Untamed’s adaptation should fall beneath it, or actually be equivalent to it. The primary reason for my momentary indecision is because the relationship dynamics between Wei Ying and Lan Zhan in the show were different going into the Xuanwu cave than how they were in the novel. Because they had gone through more experiences together—the Yin metal hunt and their defiance against Wen Chao, for example, which wasn’t in the novel of course—their interactions during this just this whole conversation scene in the cave is somehow warmer and more amicable. The difference is most noticeable with Wei Ying: in the novel he actually gets a little annoyed and then straight up angry with Lan Zhan, going so far as yelling at him and moving away from him. Even though it’s admittedly for a valid reason since Lan Zhan did bite him, the distance between their hearts felt farther apart. It did feel more like two people who didn’t like each other much, forced to work together. And since the audio drama follows the novel pretty closely for this event, the same sentiments applied there as well. But here in CQL, Wei Ying is mostly just teasing, considerate and sweet. He’s almost affectionate with Lan Zhan, like they’ve been friends for a while, which in Wei Ying’s mind they have been, so there’s no sense of animosity whatsoever. Wei Ying never stops to wonder if Lan Zhan actually hates him like he did in the book. Lan Zhan, in turn, was also generally more blatantly irritated with Wei Ying in the book, a fact that was clearly brought to life in the audio drama since he was rather short with him many times. Whereas here in the live action, while he’s exasperated with Wei Ying (because he’s being dense AF)…

...overall he’s more...soft? Like, even if we didn’t know he was in love with Wei Ying, or that Wei Ying thinks they’re good friends, there’s still no sense that they don’t get along at all.

Still, at the end of the day, because the novel is the well from which the Xuanwu cave event sprung forth, it has of course more precious and crucial elements that the show lacked, which helped finalize my decision on ranking the novel’s version of the Xuanwu cave above The Untamed instead of putting it on the same level. In addition to the previously mentioned piggyback ride, Lan Zhan making his permanent mark on Wei Ying by biting him and then breaking down over what befell his family and Cloud Recesses, were left out of the show as well. The stripping scene was also longer in the book, with Wei Ying straight out threatening to jump Lan Zhan’s bones while half-naked. Although a slight downer to that moment was how Wei Ying ended his prank: by assuring Lan Zhan he’s not into men. That one line actually still bothers me to this day because I can’t shake off its implications: basically, it’s really lucky for Lan Zhan that Wei Ying was revived in a gay man’s body. The thought of how their ending would have been otherwise makes my heart ache. For sure, I don’t think we would’ve gotten “everyday means everyday”. But that’s a longer and more involved discussion for another time. I’ll shelve it until we get to the episode later on when Team CQL changes Mo Xuanyu’s sexuality completely.

Back to the differences in the novel that was absent from CQL:  Lan Zhan ended up wearing Wei Ying’s undergarments, and the satchel of medicine was from Mian Mian, not Wen Qing (who hadn’t even appeared yet in the story), which is important since later on when it’s revealed that Lan Zhan secretly pocketed that satchel and turned it into his coin purse because he’s such a sweet romantic. Of course the satchel never made an appearance against in The Untamed. Lastly, in the novel, Wei Ying ends up sleeping on Lan Zhan’s legs because Lan Zhan finally obliges his request after he passed out from the fever.  The most we got in the show was them sleeping next to each other.

Aside from the differences in the degree of WangXian, there’s also general story differences as well: in the novel, Su She was the one who tried throwing Mian Mian to the Wens and pretty much got bitch slapped by Lan Zhan for it (in the show, it was just some random Jin disciple betraying his own kind). Su She also was the one that caused the Xuanwu’s blood lust to be riled up because he accidentally shot Wei Ying with an arrow while trying to make amends for his cowardice with Mian Mian. It’s actually a shame that Team CQL decided to leave Su She out of the Xuanwu proceedings entirely in the show because his inclusion would have made his hatred of Lan Zhan and his actions against Wei Ying make more sense. Petty jealousy and an overblown inferiority complex just seemed a bit of a reach in light of how much he despised Lan Zhan and the lengths he went through to essentially destroy Wei Ying. They really should have included Su She in the Xuanwu cave, was the actor not available, I wonder.

As for the audio drama, even though it follows the novel pretty closely and I absolutely love it and most of the performances by the voice actors—in particular our two leads, Lu Zhixing-laoshi as Wei Ying and Wei Chao-laoshi as Lan Zhan, who are absolutely beyond superb...seriously my knees turned to freaking jelly in some scenes because of them—not to mention, it is probably the most faithful adaptation of the novel we will EVER get, the reason I ranked it below The Untamed in terms of the Xuanwu cave events is because of the mere fact that some scenes just are better brought to life in a visual medium. That’s really it. Therefore, it’s not the fault of the audio drama, per se, but the nature of audio dramas that makes me prefer the live action’s depiction of the Xuanwu cave scenes over it.  

As for the donghua, at least in terms of these particular sequence of events, I absolutely think it has to fall to last place because it omitted so much from the novel in terms of WangXian. Even though Wei Ying showed some upper body nudity for a brief moment and Lan Zhan rubbed medicine on his brand directly, they changed the disrobing to Wei Ying pulling on Lan Zhan’s head ribbon as the reason for Lan Zhan spitting up blood. He did smack Wei Ying for doing that, which I thought was cute and funny, but that’s still a far cry from what was supposed to be. Even the talk about Mian Mian was truncated and just didn’t have the same sentiments involved. Lan Zhan did get emotional over his family, but not to the degree that he did in the novel/audio drama. Also to be honest, most of the cave sequence in the donghua was just a little too dark. Like, I do appreciate the fact that they were trying to go for realism in a cave setting; I mean, at least they didn’t light up the cave at 9 pm (aka the time the Lans fall asleep like narcoleptic zombies...how do they even go on night hunts???) like it was Alaska during the summer:

But my poor eyes would have appreciated it even more if the donghua abandoned reality and simply lit up the surroundings more. They could have easily thrown in some glowing stalactites as the explanation for the unrealistic lighting.  I was so happy whenever cultivation magic happened since those were the moments my eyes no longer had to strain. 

Also, while the Xuanwu tortoise wasn’t much to write home about in The Untamed:

I did like the fact that I could see every CGI wrinkle on him. Actually, I’m being harsh, he really wasn’t too bad as CGI effects go in the show, and he’s definitely much better stationary than in action.

There was one thing that the donghua included that wasn’t in the novel, audio drama or the show, and that was Nie Huaisang. I actually don’t know why he was included...not that I’m complaining about it since I welcome more NHS in any version, but I thought that was a curious change and I would actually like to know the reason for why Team Donghua decided to add him in. Although, I can understand why The Untamed didn’t include him: first of all, he wasn’t meant to be there to begin with since he wasn’t in the novel but also perhaps they realized they didn’t need yet another damsel in distress who had to be  constantly protected. One Mian Mian in the cave was enough.  

With Apologies to Mian Mian

I know the Mian Mian in the cave was actually closer to the way she was portrayed in the novel, but I really didn’t like this version of Mian Mian since she isn’t the same one we’ve been living with in the show up until that point. In terms or The Untamed, the Mian Mian we know is much stronger, braver and smarter than that. I mean, this is the girl who diffused the tension between Wen Chao and Jin Zixuan at Qishan while casually side-stepping Wen Chao’s attempt at harassment at the same time. While I understand she was without her weapon in the cave and there had been no indication she was even that strong of a fighter to begin with, I’d still like to believe that had she been in character, she would’ve picked up one of the Wen’s swords and fought alongside everyone else against the Wen dogs. I don’t know why Team CQL decided to damsel her down in this instance, but I found it rather irritating. Her being the one to induce the Xuanwu’s bloodlust because she fucking tripped and hurt herself makes me cringe every single time I see this scene. That’s like a bimbo in a bad horror movie type of move and totally not worthy of the Mian Mian we’ve been blessed with up until then. This is the woman who will one day take off her sect robes and renounce her secthood in front of a roomful of sect leaders and her seniors due to her sense of righteousness, and then more than a decade later draw her sword to protect her family against two intruders hiding in her backyard....not to mention protect her husband and daughter against freaking ghost puppets while voluntarily going on night hunts. This Mian Mian isn’t one to cower behind anyone helplessly or carelessly tripping over her own feet, dammit. At least in the Xuanwu cave, Team CQL really did Mian Mian wrong.  

Wei Wuxian is awesome

Again, a given as usual, but I still want to especially restate that fact because his recitation of the Wen Sect rules back to Wen Chao’s dumbass face is still one of my favorite Wei Ying moments. Not like I even have a non-favorite Wei Ying moment, but this definitely ranks at the top of the list. What made the moment even better was Wen Zhuliu’s reaction to Wen Chao’s ignorance.  

I will never stop asking this: what the hell kind of debt does Wen Zhuliu owe Wen Ruohan that he would be willing to saddle himself with someone who is clearly very very much his intellectual and cultivational inferior? I know it’s a life debt, maybe his own life was saved, but that still hardly seems worth the trouble he has to put up with for all these years.

WangMian??  (j/k)

Even though Wei Ying was just teasing Lan Zhan about liking Mian Mian, I can kind of see why someone would mistakenly think Lan Zhan might have some interest in her based on this moment alone. The way the scene was constructed was rather interesting because of how Lan Zhan quickly rushes to Mian Mian’s side as soon as he notices she might be in danger. First time I watched this I thought, oh, he’s just doing that to block Wei Ying from getting into trouble and also to protect him from Wen Chao, but after reviewing the scene a few times since then, I realized his position isn’t quite right for that purpose.  Or perhaps, Lan Zhan was protecting Mian Mian because in that instance she was someone who is weak and he was just acting on his principles. I can accept that explanation.  After all, I don’t seriously think there was anything between Lan Zhan and Mian Mian, nor do I think Team CQL ever intended there to be, but that was still a rather motivationally vague way to execute that scene.

A Jealous Lan Zhan is Cute

I just love how over he is with Wei Ying flirting with Mian Mian. Lan Zhan was really chugging the vinegar there.

Wang Lingjiao is a Real Evil C-word

Speaking of people who downs vinegar like water, I have to take a moment to marvel at just how truly evil and petty a woman Wang Lingjiao is. The fact that in the middle of a highly dangerous, life or death battle with an ancient monster, she still found the time and mood to try to brand some poor girl her stupid sugar daddy showed just a teeny tiny bit of interest in is pretty astounding. She is really an unbelievably vile character. However, as much as I hate the character, and I will only hate her more in future episodes, I have nothing but praise for the casting choice for WLJ. Lu Enjie really nailed that role, not only in terms of performance but she had the perfect look and body language as well. And then, Qiu Qiu-laoshi’s voice acting made what was already perfect even more sublime. It was as if Wang Lingjiao literally stepped out of the pages of the novel and onto the screen.

Questions I Still Have

- Even now I actually don’t know how Wei Ying’s paperman trick works cuz there doesn’t seem to be much consistency in how it operates. Sometimes it seems like he’s just commanding it to do things, while other times he’s like putting his own consciousness in it. But even the degree of consciousness he is able to insert into the paperman seems to vary. What gives? And man, could Wei Ying have been more obvious with his little messenger in that moment?? That paperman flew to Wen Qing and clung to her in full view of everybody right behind her. Good thing the Wens obviously employ a bunch of blind dummies who are completely oblivious to their surroundings, otherwise both Wen Qing and Wei Ying would’ve been in deep shit.

- Did Wen Ruohan ever tell his son the game plan for keeping all the major sect’s kids? Cuz if the point was to hold the next generation of sect leaders hostage so that their parents won’t revolt against the Wens, KILLING them all in a cave is probably the LAST thing Daddy Wen would want Wen Chao to do. I mean, I would imagine nothing would incite a collective mutiny more than if everyone’s most precious heirs mysteriously died during a night hunt held by the Wens. Honestly, what the hell was Wen Chao thinking with that stunt? I guess the answer is he wasn’t thinking since he is kind of stupid, but then that begs the question why would Wen Ruohan let his idiot younger son be in charge of something so important in the first place? I wouldn’t trade the hostage situation in for anything since it did lead to important events in the story, but I guess I wish it wasn’t so flimsy-seeming in the logic department?  

Overall Episode Rating: 9.5 Lil Apples out of 10

Disclaimer: The Untamed would not be possible without Mo Dao Zu Shi and Mo Xiang Tong Xiu-laoshi. I mean no disrespect whatsover when at times I may favor the shwo over the MDZS bible that is the novel. All hail MDZS and MXTX-laoshi, always and forever!    

[thejollyduckling]

VM Revival- Spoilers, ahoy!

Apologies in advanced for a supremely unedited jumble of thoughts. I meant for it to be more cohesive (and shorter- this got long, y’all). Alas, I am not one with words, especially.

Disclaimer: all feelings about characters and directions of the show are valid and I do not find fault with anyone for feeling differently than I do about the current situation.

I’m upset. I’m very upset. I love Logan Echolls. And I’m exhausted from crying and being emotionally distraught over what happened to him on the revival. Not only did my character die, ship die, and investment in a show die, but I then get to feel worthless in my feelings because people can’t handle that others don’t feel the same way as they do- and that those people are willing to voice those differences.

Several central arguments seem to evolve from those who think upset fans should not be upset:

1)      It’s noir. What did you expect?

2)      You already got your fanservice movie. Shut up! -OR- You’re being an entitled fangirl!

3)      Obviously, you don’t care about Veronica, since you’re willing to stop watching HER show over a character that isn’t her

 It’s noir. What did you expect?

I’m not the best person to speak on noir, since I’d only call myself a moderately-informed fan. I certainly have seen most of the classic movies that are classified as such and have definitely spent my time watching tv shows that identified as neo-noir, noir-esque, or other such variants inclusive of noir features. All that being said, from my humble perspective, some of the common themes from noir are present, but most of those were established in the original series and not new to the revival. Aside from some of those themes, stylistically, it didn’t feel very noir. There is a wide range of narrative events that can happen to be inclusive of this ‘noir’ label. Noir is not simply “death, despair, and no happiness!” Killing a character could fall under the category of noir. Killing a beloved, important character could certainly fall under the category of noir. But simply stating that killing that character IS noir is a gross simplification of what exactly makes that death noir. Sliced berries go in a fruit salad. But slicing a berry doesn’t automatically make it a fruit salad. While there are arguments to killing Logan for noir effect that can be made (which I am not currently capable of having right now), telling me I should get over it/deal with it/ “expect it because it’s noir, guys” is dismissive of my opinion on what makes something good noir. No, I don’t have to accept his death as a necessity of the genre. There are plenty of other characters who did or could have died to make that happen. Hell, even Logan could have been that character, but they didn’t do it justice. Again, I don’t want to argue about how Logan could have been that character still (because damnit, I don’t EVER want it to be him), but if it HAD to be him (I don’t think it did), fuuuuuck, he could have gotten MORE than he did. It didn’t have to happen 2 minutes after the wedding. It didn’t have to be an off-screen explosion from a leftover bomb from an already-apprehended criminal that I hated throughout the entire revival, they didn’t have to do a time-jump in which I didn’t get to watch ANYONE grieve his SIGNIFICANT loss, not have a funeral that we saw to grieve with the characters, and to only get a single tear from Veronica as she listens to a voicemail of Logan praising her for being strong. Let me be clear: I do not fault the writers for having Logan’s character believe in her strength. I do not fault fans for finding Veronica strong for enduring all the trauma she has endured. I DO find fault with people who tell me that I’m supposed to accept his death because it allows her to experience (ANOTHER) trauma to allow us to be TOLD she is strong. We didn’t see her be strong. We didn’t see her pick herself back up. We didn’t see her mend her heart and persevere through the devastating loss of her husband (and one of two people she told us she’d die without). We got a flash-forward where I was “told” she did this work, or was doing this work. I was told she was going to persevere. I do not have to accept or reinforce the idea that women (especially survivors of multiple traumas) are strong solely for continuing to have trauma thrown at them. If V needs to recover from trauma-after-trauma, I actually want to see her doing that. Instead, I got a season of her deflecting help (which I think is in-character) and pushing down her trauma. While I respect her character still has room to grow, I’m frustrated that I already SAW that growth with her childhood trauma. I spent 3 seasons, a movie, and two books, showing how she fought that trauma and had to learn to trust. And that growth was regressed in the revival. Recovery is a long process, and V will deal with that trauma for the rest of her life… but it didn’t feel like she had made ANY progress in the revival, even after she’d already canonically made some. That’s frustrating. So then, the cherry on top of that frustration, is to see her get dealt another terrible trauma… and not have it addressed or explored. “Wait until the next season,” you might say. No, thank you. I don’t want to watch my female characters constantly be beaten down by trauma and not able to grow from it, praised for being strong for “enduring” it, and then told to accept that one of the traumatic events that happens to them is the death of my favorite character. I don’t want to watch that.

 You already got your fanservice movie. Shut up! -OR- You’re being an entitled fangirl!

Diminishing fans who care about characters or romances as “fangirls” sounds pretty misogynistic to me. In my many years of fandom experiences, I’ve never understood why so many people are so strongly anti-romance. I understand people not liking particular ships, or particular stories. I understand people being tired of romance being so central to a particular story if you would like it to be more secondary. But to shame people who don’t feel the same way? To diminish their fan engagement as being stupid, silly, or fangirly is reductive. And, if you use the term fangirl in your diminishment, sexist. If you don’t like romance in your stories, that’s fine. But I do. And I’m not ridiculous for liking it. If I wasn’t meant to like it, I can’t understand why so many shows, movies, and books would devote so much time to it. Specifically, in the revival of VM, they spent much of the season exploring Logan’s and Veronica’s relationship. The writers (who aren’t “pandering” to me) wrote it themselves. They didn’t have to address it. They could have had it be a quaternary storyline. They didn’t, though. They made it a pretty significant one, since it’s a significant part of V’s character. She gets to have familial relationships explored, and fans can like that. She gets to have friend relationships explored, and fans can like that. But a romantic relationship? Fans can’t like that- or shouldn’t like it too much because it overshadows… what? What does it overshadow? I don’t ONLY want V to have a love story. But forgive me for enjoying my girl having a little happiness and love in her life. Especially if that relationship encourages her to be more trusting, open, forgiving, and helps her grow. That’s what relationships of all kinds are supposed to do. If you only care about the mystery aspect of the show, good for you. That’s totally fine. I came and STAYED because of the character development. I came for the relationships. In a noir setting, our hero needs people that keep her grounded, that keep her feeling happiness in spite of the turmoil around her, and that remind her to keep fighting. By reducing my love of a character that I believe offered this to Veronica on a supreme level to only being a silly fangirl is a misunderstanding of my love for Logan, and for my love of Veronica. If my love of this aspect of V’s and L’s characters is annoying and just fangirl pandering, then why did they spend much of the season exploring it? And then why am I not allowed to be upset at the outcome of said “pandering?” Also, in general, I don’t really understand why people refer to specific writing choices/ directions as fanservice or pandering. Or, more so, I don’t enjoy the large amount of people who seem to describe everything they do not like as pandering or fanservice. Why was the VM movie fanservice? Because fans liked it? Because they made it with fans in mind? What is inherently wrong with that? The idea that I’m supposed to give up wanting things for characters, ships, and stories simply because a movie didn’t completely sink my ship is strange to me. I’m not supposed to be invested in the further stories of Veronica and Co. because I already got everything I wanted? Did I? Do you know everything I wanted? LoVe being together at the end of the movie was certainly something I wanted. But was that EVERYTHING I wanted? No. Every fan of the franchise got SOMETHING from the movie, I’d argue. It might have been a cameo by a long-forgotten character. It might have been your couple reuniting. It might have been seeing your favorite father/daughter pair finally back together on-screen. Whatever it is, we all got something from that movie. So why is LoVe being together the ONLY thing the movie is remembered for doing? It accomplished a lot more than that, for me. I did not “already get my fanservice movie and now I need to shut up.” I care about these characters, this world, and I will never stop voicing what I want for them. If I’m doing it in a respectful way, that does no harm to anyone. If I express disappointment and hurt over the direction of the revival, that does no harm. I am not entitled to have Veronica Mars go the way I want, but I am hurt that it didn’t- and get to express that. It is not entitled to express my feelings on the direction of a show. Creators can choose to take those thoughts and do what they will. Rob certainly will do what he wants.  

Obviously, you don’t care about Veronica, since you’re willing to stop watching HER show over a character that isn’t her

I don’t even fully know how to begin unpacking this argument. This belief seems to stem from the idea that anything that happens on VM is what is best for her and I shouldn’t want anything different. I do not believe killing Logan was what was best for her story or the show. I do not believe it was the only way to achieve what I believe the writers wanted to achieve. Therefore, I’m upset that they chose to kill my favorite character to do that. I am so upset for Logan’s character (which Rob wrote and included in the show for me to consume and, presumably, enjoy). I wanted different for him. I believe his character suffered enough and wanted to see him get to reap the benefits of the hard-fought life he had carved out for himself. I didn’t expect a sunshine, butterflies, and rainbows sap-fest. I expected bumps and conflicts. I expected his character to continue to have flaws and grow. But now I don’t get any more of that. His character is done. He cannot continue to challenge, support, and love Veronica. He cannot continue to challenge himself to grow from his past. He cannot continue to be the hero he worked so hard to be. Because he’s dead. Why am I not allowed to be so devastated by that that I don’t want to see anymore of this world that he was a part of without him in it? If Keith had died, fans would have been equally upset and quit the show. I can’t imagine what would have happened if V had died. I don’t love Logan more than Veronica (though, if I did that would certainly not be a problem). You are not a better fan for loving Veronica more than Logan or Keith or Weevil or Mac or Wallace or any other character.  In the HP fandom, no one’s going to kick you out of the fandom for not liking Harry the most because it’s “his story.” Honestly, a lot of people don’t like Harry at all. Many do, many don’t. The point is, liking other characters that are included in the story above the main character is not inherently a problem. If you’re advocating for Logan to get all the screentime and all the story, well of course that’s not really how the show is going to work. It is V’s show. It is centered around her. But that includes the relationships she has with other characters. If V died, I’d be devastated. I’d stop watching the show… because there’d be no more show. Rob & Writers made Logan important. You don’t have to like that. But I do. I like that he’s important, because I like his character. And I’m upset at what happened to him, and his death (while not the ONLY thing of importance in the story) was big enough FOR ME, that I cannot continue to watch or enjoy the show. It changed everything for me. I wish it hadn’t. But I refuse to feel ashamed that I’m devastated that a MAIN CHARACTER, who was crucially important to our star, is dead and I cannot enjoy the show without him. My love for Logan’s character, my love for him in this world, is separate for my love for Veronica. I don’t HAVE to love Logan less and want less for him to love and want more for V. If Logan wasn’t important to V, then his death wouldn’t be so impactful for me. Obviously, I love his character, but it was his closeness and unyielding love for Veronica that made his death unbearable. Rob did not make Logan crucial and important for fanservice. And if he did, that was his own doing, and no one should be blamed for responding emotionally to what was created for us to respond to.

 On top of those three arguments that I see circulating over and over, I’m upset at the revival in general.

I am upset that a character that I love, who is flawed (and who should be allowed to be so), was not given the growth that I wanted for her. I felt like Veronica’s growth from past canon was regressed.

I am upset that we did not get to see more interaction between other characters that I wanted to see more from.

I am upset at the continued problematic portrayals of women and characters of color in Rob’s writing. I’m upset at the white feminism that I see in many moments of the show.

I am upset that the show tries to tackle deep issues like classism, sexism, racism, and abuse of all kinds, but only manages to scratch the surface- and often deals with them in problematic ways.

I am upset that the mysteries, which continues to be the least interesting aspect of the show for me (while still a draw), is the only thing that I believe Rob wants to continue to explore. It’s V’s job, it’s part of the genre and her character, so I get it. But I have always been drawn to the characters and their growth from the original series. I knew with the revival, Rob told us there’d be more focus on the mystery. And there was, and I didn’t mind it. I expect angst. I am no stranger to our characters going through ups and downs. But I still don’t like what happened. And I don’t think it was necessary or “good” storytelling.

I am upset that caring about Logan/LoVe is considered being a “fangirl” or fanservice. Wrong. I care deeply about ALL of Veronica’s relationships. In the revival, I found her relationship with Wallace lacking. I found her relationship with Weevil lacking (is this just due to screentime? Not entirely, but that’s another debate). I found her relationship with Keith lacking, though better than her relationship with some other characters. I am interested in Veronica as a character- with relationships (romantic AND platonic) who happens to be a PI. I was warned that the revival would be more focus on the PI side, so I was prepared for that. I wasn’t prepared for the character regression/lack of attention so completely- and then made to feel bad that I was upset about it.

I am upset that Logan Echolls is dead. That it is being deemed by some as necessary or acceptable, and if I disagree I’m silly, pathetic, wanting the show to pander to me, etc. If caring about his character so ardently is wrong, then Rob shouldn’t have written him such a kick-ass redemption. And I don’t want to be right.

I am upset because loyal, passionate fans have been crucial to this revival and to the marketing campaign. What happened to Logan feels like a slap in the face to fans that have devoted years, time, creative energy, and LITERALLY millions of dollars to see their beloved show and characters continue on. It may not have been what Rob intended, but the slap is felt regardless.

The thing is… at the end of the day? I am frustrated about a lot of things from the revival. But, if there’s another season ALL of those things could be addressed, expanded upon, or fixed…. Except 1: Logan’s life. That story is over, and I’m not okay about it. It was literally the ONLY thing I did not want to happen in the revival. I am a geek, who made a list. I had a whole long list of things I wanted- including things that had NOTHING to do with Logan or LoVe. Most of them revolved around V. Don’t tell me I don’t care about Veronica, just because I can’t watch/promote a show anymore because of another character. His character death is devastating to me on multiple levels- INCLUDING ITS IMPACT ON VERONICA!

I am allowed to be upset at the specific ways in which my character was handled. Can I do anything in the long run? Probably not. Is it artists’ choice? Of course. I am not entitled to tell a showrunner or writer that they must do things my way. But I am allowed to voice my disappointment and tell him that he no longer has my viewership and support, and I believe I am allowed to tell him what those reasons are. He can choose to ignore or engage with me.

In closing, I can only say deeply how sorry I am to fans that have spent 15 years invested in these characters so much that they’ve poured their hearts and money into seeing it continue through the years. Two years of devotion and ending up here has soured me greatly. I cannot even begin to imagine how others must feel. You are entitled to your hurt and your expression of that hurt (Just keep it classy, like JDoh did).  Love to you all!

Sincerely,

A Burnt Marshmallow

[chid-sen-gan-blog]

My Reaction to GoT 8.03 (”The Long Night”)

Hello! I’m back for another recap/review! 

I’m so sorry this took so long, but I was a bit… uninspired. But it’s here now, and I hope you enjoy! 

Once again, featuring running commentary from my Dad and Brother because I love them and their witty remarks. (all thoughts and quotes are from our first time viewing it, per usual)

WARNING: Spoilers for anyone who hasn’t seen the episode yet, though this warning might be irrelevant at this point.

WARNING 2: My family and I (namely me) weren’t really fans of this episode, so things get… pretty snarky at some points. Also, there’s a lot of shade - no pun intended - thrown at the lighting throughout. A lot. All these are just the opinions of three people, however, and not meant to offend anyone. If you enjoyed the episode, then lucky you more power to you - you do you! :)

And last, but certainly not least, a huge thank you to everyone who supported the first two installments! Now, time for part three!

So… the new opening credits still haven’t grown on me. But the inclusion of the crypt for this episode is a nice touch

(I have a sinking feeling that taking refuge in the crypts is going to backfire for those hiding there and really hope I’m wrong)

Yay! Sam! Please don’t die on me. Please…

Pre-battle preparation montages always puts me on edge. Now is no exception

Another Alys Karstark shot and I’m still not sure why the crew keeps including them…

“So, the showrunners keep giving us glimpses of Alys Karstark, but do they actually plan on doing anything with her, or…?” - My Wonderful Brother; so I guess I’m not the only one curious

“With D&D at the reigns, she could be there for anything from the kidnap theory to a faceless man revival.” - My Wonderful Dad

“True. Let’s hope they get their story right right tonight, though.” - My Wonderful Brother

“I don’t see how they couldn’t. They already have all the pieces in place. All they need to do is not try anything random.” - My Wonderful Dad

Awwww. My children! D&D, don’t you dare kill off Jaime, Brienne, or Pod. I will find you if you do!!! And no CGI dragons will be able to save you!

(I’m super worried about Pod. He’s right up there at the top of my list with Theon and Grey Worm. And possibly Jorah, but I’m 50/50 with him)

(Maybe 60/40; if Dark!Dany’s a possibility, she needs to suffer a huge loss in this battle. And considering Jorah’s her morality pet/conscience, he would fit the bill)

(basically if Jorah dies this episode, then my confidence in the show going the Dark!Dany route rises)

Tormund! I’m guessing you’ll live. The writers need some fan favorite B characters to make it through the night…

Ooh, Beric. Yeah… you’re probably not one of them… 

And the Hound will be needed for Cleganebowl, so he’s safe. No way they’re writing off the guy with all the hype surrounding him and his bro’s one-on-one

Actually, he’s one of the few people I’m absolutely sure will live past this episode

Gendry… 50/50 on you, too, sadly. I hope you make it, though

Darn it, knowing I’m never going to see some of these characters again is making me emotional. And it’s not even ten minutes into the episode!!!

Awwww. Poor Edd. You’re definitely a goner, since you essentially doomed yourself last week

Aaaaaaaand now I”m tearing up. Darn it!!! It’s too early to cry!

My new mantra: Please let Sam live

Wow, that shot is… dark. I wouldn’t have known those were horses if not for the whinnying 

GHOST!!! Are we going to see him fight this episode? Because Im so here for it!

My wonderful Dad and Brother are just as pumped to see him as I am. Bless them

“But, seriously, why is Ghost with Jorah and the Dothraki and not with the Northerners in the crypts? Wouldn’t that be more practical” - My Wonderful Brother; taking time from his celebration to ask the tough questions

And here’s Dany to ruin my mood. Absolutely spectacular

“So, do you think she’ll abandon Jon and co during the battle?” - My Wonderful Dad

“Nope, she still wants the North to see her as their hero. It’s more likely she’ll rush in at some point and ruin the plan.” - My Wonderful Brother

Sansa!!! Arya!!!

Hey, remember when Dany stans said that Sansa’s S8 hairstyle was based on their kween’s? Good times, good times

Oooooh. A rider in the night? But who? The gang’s all here, except for Cersei and Euron

Is it Bronn? Kind of bad timing if it is…

No, wait, Carice von Houten was in the credits. It’s Melisandre, isn’t it?

They’re zooming in on Davos, it must be…

Yep. 

“So, let’s none of us question why she’s here or how she got around the undead army marching on the North. Deal?” - My Wonderful Dad

“Deal.” - My Wonderful Brother and Less Wonderful I

And, once again, everything’s super dark, even for this show. Is it supposed to be intentional, or…?

I love how Jorah’s like: “I don’t know who the heck you are or what you want or why you’re here, but sure I’ll do what you ask, weird pretty red lady” 

FINALLY!!! LIGHT!!! Thank you, Melisandre! 

I’ll admit, that was a beautiful shot

I have a real affinity for how Liam Cunningham portrays an angry Davos. I’m not really sure why, but I do

Okay, so Melisandre’s going to die before the dawn. Why do I feel somewhat emotional about it?

(I’m still not over Shireen, so I really have no clue)

Ooooh, that look shared between Melisandre or Arya. Is Arya going to kill her? Maybe because of what happened to Gendry?

Ummmmmm…. Dothraki. What are you doing?

Seriously, what are you guys doing?

Don’t tell me these knuckleheads are actually charging at an enemy they can’t even see…

Oh, shoot. That’s exactly what they’re doing.

………… and now were’s firing the catapults. Umm, hello, don’t we kind of need our supplies for later?! What are you dimwits doing?!?!

No, really, this is idiotic. Why are they lighting things up and charging all gleefully like it’s a 4th of July cookout?!?!

“No, Ghost. Turn around. You’re too smart for this.” - My Wonderful Dad

Well lookie there. The Dothraki charged right into the army of the dead. Who could’ve possibly predicted that? *sarcasm, sarcasm*

“And just like that, the Night King’s added tens of thousands more soldiers to his army. Everyone say “thank you, Dany” for bringing your men who apparently have zero impulse control.” - My Wonderful Brother

“So this is why God didn’t give cavemen fire.” - My Wonderful Dad

You just know that Jaime’s watching this display thinking “why did my men have such a hard time fighting those guys again?”

Aaaaaand the screen’s nearly pitch black again. Dandy 

Oh, look, slow-mo Jorah. At least I think it is. It’s kind of hard to tell…

Ugh. Dany. I’m not in the mood for you

Wow, astounding. She’s not going to stick to the plan. I’m sure this will work out just fine

“Told ya’.” - My Wonderful Brother

Nothing screams true love quite like yanking your arm out of your boyfriend’s grasp and snapping at him. 

(Anyone else ever get CerseixJaime vibes from these two? And I’m not just talking about the incest…)

Grey Worm putting on his helmet is somehow one of the best parts in this episode so far. And I don’t think that’s a good thing

But still, it’s too early to judge, so I’ll shut up

Why hello, Army of the Dead. How was that 4th of July cookout the Dothraki ran into?

And now it’s time for my favorite game - count the fallen red shirts! Let’s see… 1, 2, oh, there’s a third…

And there’s one red shirt who just realized his name’s never been said on the show and booked. I respect his genre-savyness

Meanwhile, back with the important characters…

No!!! Brienne!!! No!!!

Jaime’s “wench sense” prevails again. That’s my boy

Dany’s “ruin-my-mood sense” is also as strong as ever, apparently

Well, at least the dragonfire shone some light on things

Sansa looking awed at Jon on a dragon is so far one of the best shots in the episode

I will forever hate Jonerys, but Ramin Djawadi always knocks it out of the park with his score - even with their theme.

I wonder if he’ll have anything new to present for this episode…

Jon’s gotten a lot better at riding Rhaegal. That could be very useful in upcoming conflicts… *grins wickedly*

Lovely, now Jon’s stuck in a snowstorm. *sighs* Really, I give him one compliment… 

“I just hope that Dany remembers she has to light the trench and doesn’t follow him in.” - My Wonderful Dad

“You’re asking for way too much, Daddy.” - My Wonderful Brother

Aw, Sansa. I’m so proud of you. And this is why I love the Starks - no matter the dangers they face, they’re loyal to their people first and foremost

… Arya, no offense, but your sister’s not much of a fighter. Don’t you think you should give her more than just one tiny dragonglass blade? 

Ah, callbacks. But, seriously, give Sansa another weapon 

Seeing Jaime, Brienne, and Pod together in any capacity gives me all the feels. All of them. Even when they’re fighting literal zombies

And now Dany’s also lost in the snowstorm. Well, on the bright side, at least she didn’t fly directly into it

Theon!……… yeah, you’re a dead man. I’ll sincerely miss you

And we’re back to the battle. That was… interesting editing

16 red shirts… 17 red shirts… 18 red shirts… 

So it’s twenty minutes in and no named characters have died yet. I’m surprised…

And there goes Edd. *cries* Why did I think I was safe?!?! Why?!?!?!?!?!

So that’s one death I guessed. I wonder who else…

Okay, is it even possible for Sophie Turner to look anything but beautiful? I mean, even with this episode’s lighting…

I forgot Tyrion was alive Oops

Still have a sinking suspicion the crypts are going to be overrun with wights…

I honestly admire how calm Tyrion is. If my brother was out fighting an army of undead popsicles, you could bet I would be anything but

Jon and Dany bumping into eachother on dragonback is really making me smile. Even though I know it wasn’t intentional this time

If Jorah doesn’t die, Lyanna Mormont will. I’m calling it now

Grey Worm is so far the MVP of this battle. Now I’m really worried about his survival odds…

Soooooooo… are the dragons just going to be lost in this snowstorm the entire episodes? I mean, they have to play a bigger part than that, right?

(if they don’t then Jon really went through some serious guff for nothing)

Jon calling Dany by her nickname again despite knowing she doesn’t like it gives me life. So what if I’m petty?

And back with Theon and Bran after… nothing really happened

“Is it just me, or does the editing this episode feel a little… off?” - My Wonderful Brother

“Not just you. It has been so far. Strange, considering that’s usually one of D&D’s strong points.” - My Wonderful Dad

Aaaaaaand back to the battle after nothing really happened

“….. really?” - My Wonderful Brother

Brienne checking on Pod is what I live for. Honestly, I’m so far more interested in my J-B-P Family Trio than the actual battle 

(Though I don’t think I’m supposed to be)

And the lighting is pitch black again. Huzzah

Unsullied don’t feel fear, huh? Welp, Grey Worm’s quickly realizing that most Unsullied don’t usually fight dead men

Really, though, this scene is on-point. Kudos to everyone involved

And now Dany can’t see the signal to light the trench. Yippee…

“YOU HAD ONE JOB, DAENERYS!!! ONE!!!” - My Wonderful Dad

On another note, I think I finally figured out why Melisandre conveniently strolled back into the picture when she did

 And there we go

You know, everything has played out so predictably thus far that I feel like D&D are going to pull a huge, random move at some point

One that likely won’t make any sense, knowing them

Oh, I hope that’s not the case

Alright, that shot when Melisandre finally light up the trench is beautiful. I must admit

…………………………………………………………………………. wait, so Jon was just chilling right next to the trench when he could’ve lit it up this whole time?!?!?!?!

Ugh. So far he’s been utterly useless this battle. I mean, I love the guy, but really?

Please tell me they’re just saving his potential for when he fights the Night King. Or, even better, fights him so Bran can take him down

(D&D wouldn’t honestly butcher my boy like this without a reason, right?)

Oh, great. I forgot the Hound has PTSD when it comes to fire. This should be interesting. With any luck, he’ll overcome his fear this episode

Back in the crypts which are still somehow safe

And it’s times like these, when Tyrion touts his own greatness, that I remember he’s much more like Tywin than I’d care to acknowledge

Yes, Tyrion. You would make all the difference out there in the battle. When not even your swordsman brother should, logically-speaking, be near it, given his one hand situation. But, sure. You keep on thinking that. 

Sansa laying some truth down. I stan 

I really do enjoy her and Tyrion’s chemistry. And it’s actually nice to take a bit of a break from the battle

Oh, look at that. Sansa and Dany aren’t besties after their talk last episode after all. Odd, I could’ve sworn some stans said they were

One of which was, apparently, Missandei

Gee, I love you, Missandei, but that comment was totally uncalled for. They weren’t even talking to you

“And maybe if it weren’t for the dragon queen, the wall would still be standing and the dead wouldn’t even be here.” - My Wonderful Brother

“The girl didn’t even light the trench. Which was, again, her one job!” - My Wonderful Dad

*sighs* I really hate brainwashed Missandei. But I’m sure Dany’s stans will find a woman of color being blindly devoted to a white woman totally empowering

(And, before anyone bashes me, I’m speaking as someone who’s got the blood of all walks of minorities in my veins) 

Ad back to Theon and Bran. Are they actually going to do something this time?

Oh, they are! 

So, Bran’s “home” quote was said to Theon. Odd, and here I thought he was supposed to have said it to Dany… oh, well

Ooooh, warging Bran. With any luck, he’ll warg into a dragon at some point in this episode

I don’t even care anymore, just let the poor guy be useful in this battle somehow

So… when the army of animated corpses have better battle plans than your armies, exactly how screwed are you?

Jorah ushering Sam to the walls is actually really heartwarming

As is surrogate dad Jaime checking on his adopted son Pod en route to their battle stations

…… Jon has been sitting on the walls of Winterfell for who knows how long doing absolutely zilch. Not burning wights, not guarding Bran, not even brooding. And I’m ticked about it

What the heck, D&D? I thought you loved CGI dragon stuff

Well, finally. Yes, go fight the head popsicle, even if you don’t kill him. Go, my boy, and redeem yourself

The J-B-P Family Trio dynamic is my favorite thing in this episode thus far. Fight me 

And Sam and Jorah. I want a spin-off named “Mormont and Tarly” with these two just hanging out

So, it’s almost halfway through the episode and only Edd has died out of the named characters. I have a feeling things are about to get bloody

Well, there goes another red shirt. What was I up to? 42?

No no no no no no no no. Bad wights. Not Jaime. Get off my problematic child! Get off him, darn you!!!

Brienne has “Kingslayer sense” confirmed

Who needs plot armor when you have your totally platonic not girlfriend watching your back? 

My children fighting together… *tears up* I’m so proud…

And who needs plot armor when you have your totally platonic not boyfriend watching your back?

Jorah saving Sam with Heartsbane is all kinds of right. That is all

And the Hound is not making any sort of progress with his PTSD. I’m rooting for you, Sandor

Aaaaaaaaaaand…. I’m really tired of ninja!Arya already. I’m sorry. Unpopular opinion, I know, but it seems like the show’s going out of their way waaaay too much recently to make her seem all BAMF. I don’t know, call it personal preference, but I like it when there’s some vulnerability to a fighter

And maybe that hit to the head will take her down a peg. Knowing D&D, though… not likely

Oh, boy. The Hound’s really got it bad. I feel for him….

The fact he cares so much about Arya takes me back to S4, and I couldn’t be happier about it. Ah, the great seasons…

My wonderful Dad and Brother have taken to trying to adjust the brightness on our tv…to  limited success. And this isn’t even the darkest the episode’s been…

Okay, I got over Lyanna Mormont in S7, but I have to say, she got the coolest death ever in the show by far. And I’m glad

Also, another predicted death. Makes me wonder about Jorah’s fate now…

So… the dragons above the clouds is a pretty shot and all, but are Jon and Dany just playing hide&seek with the Night King at this point, or…?

Oh, there’s the head popsicle!

(oh, if only fire could burn the unburnt…)

(speaking of which, how does Wightserion manage to breathe fire if he’s a wight and fire kind of kills them all over again? I’ve been wondering…)

“And after less than a minute of the dragons looking like they’d actually do something, we’ve now transitioned in to a game of tag, you’re it.” - My Wonderful Brother, getting fully annoyed with this episode

“At this point you could put Little Sam out in the field and he’d do more than the dragons.” - My Wonderful Dad, getting fully annoyed with this episode

And now Arya’s playing hide&seek with the wights. What is this, buy none get three day?

So… this scene is going to contribute something other than more bad lighting, right? Please say it is…

And nothing’s really happening…

And nothing…

Nothing….

Okay, so I have a feeling this is supposed to come off as a horror movie kind of thing, but it reads more like Tom&Jerry, imo

Wights have better hearing than me. I’m a little jealous

*shudders* Alright, the way that wight re-died (coining that term as of now) when Arya stabbed it was really gross. I tip my hat to the special effects and make-up team

Arya’s running like mad. And I’m happy she seems human again

(On another note, all this focus on Arya is really making me wonder what D&D are planning on doing with her. I can guess it’s something important…)

Too dark to see too dark to see too dark to see too dark to see…

I’m still surprised the crypts are safe. Maybe I’m wrong and they won’t be taken over by the dead after all

“This episode needs more Sansa. I said what I said.” - My Wonderful Brother

The Hound and Beric’s buddy cop adventures continue

Sweet move, Beric. We should enter you in javelin-throwing

Arya fighting just fine with a head wound. Even though I’m pretty sure she must have a concussion. Oh, what the heck, it’s a fantasy show

Beric sacrificing himself for Arya and the Hound in an honestly brilliant scene… that I could hardly see… -_-*

Beric dying to protect them also means that I was probably right before when I said Arya’s going to play an important role in this fight. Or the Hound

But my money’s on Arya. They’ll want a girl power shield in case their plans fall through

Really, the lighting on this episode looks like the contrast effect I add to my Sony Vegas-made AMVs before filtering the colors

So… Melisandre’s alone in this room surrounded by a bunch of doubly dead wights. Did she kill them all herself? Did she flambe them? I would really like to know

And blue eyes. Wait… no.

“They’re going to have Arya kill the Night King. That’s their big twist” - My Wonderful Brother

“But that wouldn’t make any sense. I mean, what about Bran? Doesn’t his whole story revolve around taking down the Night King?Didn’t Uncle Benjen say in no uncertain terms that without Bran they lose everything?” - Me

“Yep. But it’s still going to be Arya.” - My Wonderful Brother

“But what about Jon?! Doesn’t 90% of his arc center around facing this guy, too?! What about their stare down in “Hardhome”?” - Me

“Maybe Jon gets a crack at him, but it’s going to be Arya who finishes him off.” - My Wonderful Brother

“They wouldn’t!” - Me

“Remember Joffrey’s funeral  scene in “Breaker of Chains” and how they changed it?” - My Wonderful Dad

“……… oh, no. They would.” -Me

And now I’m worried

I mean, I love Arya, I really do. And I love girls being great. But something like that would just feel so… out-of-the-blue

Please don’t let that be the case

(But then again, my wonderful Brother’s always right)

Theon and the red shirts going to war and I can’t even try to appreciate it

Oh, well, I couldn’t see much of it anyway

And there goes Rhaegal and Wightserion fighting in the sky. And I can’t even see what’s happening. Wondrous

*squinting*

No! Not the cloak Sansa made for Jon! Bad dragon, bad!

*more squinting*

… did Drogon just bite Rhaegal? It looks like it. But I won’t jump to any conclusions just yet because I CAN’T FRICKING SEE!!! 

Jon has to be hurt after that fall. There’s no way he only got a few scrapes

Then again, the damage to his body is probably far less than the damage my eyes have taken straining to see the screen

And back to the battle. Time to see if anyone I love is still alive…

*even more squinting*

Ya’ know what, I can’t tell

Oh, great. Dany and the Night King. Well, let’s see if she’s going to kill him and become the heiress of a million more prophecies

Bet you ten bucks she’s going to smile when she burns him

And knock knock I’m here to collect my money

Well, Jon’s staggering around like he’s hurt, at least. That’s good enough for me (at least someone seems to be affected by bodily wear-and-tear)

And the Night King’s not burnt. Oh, this is great!!!

AND THAT SMIRK!!! I CAN’T!!! *falls off chair laughing* 

“Can we stan the Starks and the Night King at the same time? Is that even possible?” - My Wonderful Dad

“Well, Dany, your purpose here is done. Time to go back to Meereen.” - My Wonderful Brother

“Excuse me, but what did the people of Meereen ever do to you to have you wish such a thing on them?” - My Wonderful Dad

“Nothing. I just really want Demanding Tourist out of Westeros already.” - My Wonderful Brother 

Yes, head popsicle. Get the dragon brat!!! Yeeeeeeeees!!!!!!

Aw, darn it. He missed

Oooh, Jon running at the Night King. Here we go! One-on-one!!!

Oh, shoot. He’s running towards him as the guy’s reanimating the corpses?! Is he really planning on sacrificing himself?!??!

(you know what, never mind. It’s Jon - we already know the answer is yes)

Okay, sweetie, all you need is a few good jabs and I’ll be happy. Just get a couple hits on this guy and I’ll be satisfied

Immediately has “Satisfied” from Hamilton play in my head and chooses to ignore it

Ummm… Jon. Why are you stopping? The path is still clear? Just run through!

Oh, shoot, everyone that was killed is coming back

Oh, hey, look, Jaime and Brienne are still alive… and they’re probably not going to be in two more minutes so I better enjoy it. Good thing I have both Wench and Kingslayer sense, or I might not have been able to tell it was them in the dark

Now where’s Pod? *activates Squire sense”*

And there’s the crypts not staying safe. I fricking called it and I wish I hadn’t

Don’t you dare touch Gilly or Little Sam or Sansa, wights!!!

On another note… how did the wights manage to punch through solid stone with their skeletal hands?

My boy Theon still stepping up. *sighs*  I’m really going to miss him… and back from a quick cut, Jon squinting at that dragonfire is me right now, after nearly a whole hour of watching an almost fully-black screen

Giving credit where credit is due, Dany just saved my fav. Thanks for that, but don’t get used to it

Ooooooooh Dany stuck in the middle of nowhere without her dragons surrounded by wights… *pulls out White Walker paraphernalia and foam finger* Team Wights forever!

(What? I did say don’t get used to it)

No Jorah! Nooooooo! Why?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

“WE COULD’VE HAD IT ALLLL!!!!” - My Wonderful Brother

Also, kind of hate how the sword belonging to the family Dany burnt alive is now being used to defend her, but who cares what I think, right?

Jon running past Sam is so wrong on so many levels

On another, however, it shows that he prioritizes Bran - his family - above all else. So, maybe I’m giving D&D too much credit here, but if that’s what they were trying to convey, I can see where they’re coming from

This tunnel run is the most fighting Jon’s actually gotten to do in the episode thus far, which is actually pretty dissapointing

Y’know, considering he was all gung-ho about fighting the Army of the Dead and all

Theon , my boy, you make me proud

Also, what is Bran actually doing? Something important, I hope…

Wow. Dany can magically wield a sword. Where did this sudden skill come from, I wonder…

Are Sansa and Tyrion taking refuge behind Ned’s tomb? *heart breaks into a million pieces*

“YES! WE’RE FINALLY GOING TO SEE SANSA IN ACTION!!!” - My Wonderful Dad

*scene cuts away*

“Hey, I said in action, not inactive! I want to see my girl kill some wights!” - My Wonderful Dad

He’s been a full Sansa stan for only a week yet he gets how awesome she is. I’m so proud of him

Oh, great, Wightserion almost killing Jon

Oh, great, wights almost killing my J-B-P Family Trio

WHY DO PIANO SCORES NEVER MEAN ANYTHING GOOD IN THIS SHOW?!?!?!?!

Yet I’m already loving this score. Let’s see just how much of a next level Ramin Djawadi takes it to

No, bad wights! Don’t kill my children!

No! Don’t make Sam cry!

Noooooooooooo! Don’t say thank you, Bran! Now he’s really going to die!

NOOOOOOO! THEON!!!!!!! *cries hysterically*

Jon… just can’t catch an awesome break this episode, can he? Now he’s got to deal with the dragon he already faced again… *sighs*

And yep. Ramin Djawadi outdid himself with this score. And that’s the hill I die on

Jon, sweetie… why are you randomly screaming at a dragon? Did you hit your head when you fell off Rhaegal? Has the stress of obsessing over the undead finally caught up to you? Did Dany finally break you?

Okay, a white walker’s hair has suddenly turned into a Maybelline commercial

And it’s…

Arya. Oh, boy. Here we go…

Aaaaaaaaand… it’s over. Just. Like. That.

We never even got to know anything about him and that’s it

They Snoke’d him

And Bran was utterly useless, to boot

*left eyes strained from too much squinting twitches*

“They really did it…” - mMe

“Called it.” - My Wonderful Brother

“Well… I guess good for Arya. Right?” - My Wonderful Dad

“No. Not good. Not good. I’m glad she got a chance to shine and I don’t even care about her hitting the final blow. I don’t care who hi it, honestly!!! But Jon and Bran were both completely useless?! EVEN BRAN?! ARE YOU  KIDDING ME?!?!?!?! BRAN’S ENTIRE STORYLINE WAS THE NIGHT KING!!! NOW WHAT’S HE ANY GOOD FOR?! TELLING HIS FAMILY THAT JAIME PUSHED HIM OUT A WINDOW?!?! DON’T GIVE ME THAT! I DID NOT SIT THROUGH SEVEN ENTIRE SEASONS OF GAME OF THRONES AND PUT UP WITH SIX OF THEM WATCHING BRAN’S BORING-AS-ALL-HECK VISIONS JUST FOR HIM TO BE PLAYING WARG THE RAVENS THROUGHOUT THIS ENTIRE EPISODE AND HAVE NO SAY IN TAKING DOWN THE POPSICLE!!!” -  Me, with an unpopular opinion that will get me in so much trouble later

“True. His lack of involvement was… dissapointing.” - My Wonderful Dad

“You know, there’s a way it all could’ve worked. All they had to do was have Bran warg into the Night King to try and keep him at bay to give Arya the chance to finish him off. Show a bit of struggle between all three of them and ultimately have Bran be the deciding factor. Maybe throw in a bit of flashbacks to the guy’s past, while they were at it” - My Wonderful Brother

“Yeah, but that would require making the guy look like a legitimate threat in terms of fighting.” - Me

“Oh, that’s an easy fix. They should’ve let Jon fight the Night King before and get royally owned. That would’ve established him.” - My Wonderful Brother

“Not only that, but it would also heighten the expectation that Jon would make a huge comeback, which would really throw the viewers for a loop when Arya comes to save Bran instead.” - My Wonderful Dad

My family, everyone. Also known as my bright spots in the abysmal world

To be fair, the one thing I like about this is that the knife originally intended to kill Bran eventually saved him. Bravo

Welp, there goes Jorah. My heart is already in pieces, so a few more breaks won’t do anything

*cries anyway*

Guess Dark!Dany is probably coming. At least I hope so. And then we’ll have Bronn fight her or some other nonsensical decision. Who cares anymore?

I can’t bring myself to feel a shred of pity for Dany or an ounce of compassion. Yet even I know Emilia Clarke’s acting in this scene is fantastic

And now at the end of the episode we finally have light. And my eyes actually are having a hard time adjusting to it

So long, Melisandre. I’m surprisingly emotional about this but maybe that’s just because I’m still crying from Jorah

That’s it? Huh. That’s it. Who lived? Who died? Don’t ask me.

I’m going to go work on my AU now. It may suck, but at least I put real effort into it. Maybe I’ll be a screenwriter. It seems to require very little

I’m bitter and ready to be unfollowed

Sorry

[emblem-333]

Rebooking WrestleMania 35

What stays the same:

Kofi beats Bryan

Whatever else I didn’t care enough about to mention.

Brock Lesnar retains vs Seth Rollins

Why: Is Brock a good champion? No. He works very few dates and his best in-ring days are long gone. But give me him over Rollins as a Babyface. Rollins is a fine wrestler, one of the best in the WWE. However, his microphone skills are nonexistent and his feuds subsequent winning the strap from Lesnar have either been uninspiring or downright pathetic.

Still, there was a groundswell of support from fans eager to see the Universal Championship around the waist of a full timer once more. The secondary WWE title has had many misadventures. It’s inaugural champion Finn Balor suffered a legitimate shoulder injury and relinquished the belt the day after winning it at SummerSlam. WWE held a fatal-4-way match on Raw a week later between Kevin Owens, Roman Reigns, Big Cass, and Seth Rollins - the winner being Owens. He went on to hold the belt for nearly 200 days, but his reign came to a screeching halt when Goldberg returned and steamrolled him.

Since Owens ate a Goldberg spear, the belt spent nearly two-years around the waists PF part-timers. Frankly, I’ve forgotten it’s existed at points. To be honest, I was glad to see Rollins win initially for these reasons alone. Then came the night after ‘Mania, Rollins is in the middle of the ring out comes Triple H, his former rival who tried to derail his career... and they hug. THEY HUG. Instantly I get this feeling Rollins is a corporate backed champion packaged as a Babyface. While every WWE champion is a corporate champion at the very least give me the veneer Rollins isn’t a suck up behind the scenes by making him one during the show.

But the WWE is infatuated with themselves. They were so satisfied to have pulled off the angle and believed to have gotten Rollins over as a Babyface they couldn’t help but rub it in for all of us to see.

Lesnar, in hindsight, needed to remain champion. Rollins simply wasn’t the guy. But Vince McMahon isn’t going to put over someone like Samoa Joe- and let’s be honest, neither is Triple H or Stephenie. Whoever beats Lesnar has to be a creation of the WWE laboratory. If not Rollins, then there’s nobody on the Raw roster worth giving a look at.

If I was booking the WWE, I’d have Kurt Angle’s last match be against Lesnar and call it a night.

Sasha Banks and Bayley retain vs The IIconics, Nia Jax & Tamina, Beth Phoenix and Natalya

Why: The Women’s Tag Titles are the offspring of Bayley and Sasha’s constant lobbying. It is odd the women’s division does not have a tag championship in the first place. For all this talk of a “Women’s Revolution” and the idiotic elevation of “The Four Horsewomen” as if on par with “The Four Horseman,” the whole thing proves to be a farce despite the wrestlers being insanely talented and effective.

Heading into the eight women tag match the “Boss ‘n Hug Connection,” the inaugural champs had held the belts for 49 days. While their defense wasn’t something to write home about the whole point of their run was supposed to add legitimacy and mystic to the strap. Yeah, the IIconics are solid heels, but after winning the titles their reign didn’t last long either ending in 120 days before dropping them to Alexa Bliss and Nikki Cross, who later lost it to the current champions Asuka and Kairi Sane after their heel turn. (Why are the tag titles primarily held by heels?)

Just let Bayley and Sasha keep the belts. Since ‘Mania, Bayley’s won Money in the Bank, cashing in on Charlotte Flair and is still the champion today. Holding the belt for 197 of the last 202 days. The interim period occurred when Flair beat Bayley at Hell in a Cell. On the following Smackdown, Bayley returned for her rematch with a new look and a new attitude. The lovable hugger with a back bone became a chicken shit heel over night. Instantly undercutting months of booking. While she did get a main event slot at pay-per-view at Survivor Series, she was treated as an afterthought by many inside and out of the company. The morning after Shayna Baszler made Bayley submit, the WWE twitter account reminded fans that Baszler didn’t beat “The Man” a.k.a the champion they actually care about. (https://twitter.com/wwe/status/1198805122681147392?s=21)

It’s a damn shame how Bayley’s been booked. A complete waste of her character and even from the standpoint of solely caring about making money, WWE circumvented an avenue of revenue by turning her heel. Bayley’s whole character is designed to appeal to young kids, girls in particular. Changing her to someone who makes them cry is a fun thing to do on paper, but in actual practice is awful.

Batista def. Triple H

Why: Triple H is 46. He sucks as a Babyface and is a fraud. He should retire. He does the same goddamn thing every year where he wears a suit, acts as an authority figure and then takes the suit off because things have gotten serious. This happens every year. It’s beyond annoying.

Bobby Lashley retains vs “The Demon” Finn Balor

Why: Poor Finn. Never able to find his footing on the main roster. Such a big star at NXT putting on clinics against Samoa Joe and Kevin Owens. Ironically, neither of them have been properly booked since their NXT days came to a close. WWE has a habit of restraining their talent. Balor fell prey to this and his run as Intercontinental Champion wasn’t relevant and later would lose it to fellow roamer of purgatory Shinsuke Nakamura.

I don’t see a reality where Balor as I.C champion works out. He was a lukewarm, forgetful player on the main roster. It’s good he’s back at NXT. They let their talent express themselves a little more than WWE. Best thing for him.

The Main Event:

The main event between Ronda, Becky and Flair was.. okay. Nothing special. I was happy for Becky. Initially booked to turn heel after SummerSlam in 2018, her promo the night after Flair stole her title made her a star overnight and plans changed to have her turn Babyface and keep Flair heel. Despite numerous attempts by WWE to make Lynch a heel fans simply weren’t allowing it just so Flair could win another title. That didn’t stop them from giving Flair titles, but at least it won’t be at Becky’s expense anymore.

Why did this culmination of months long storytelling feel so underwhelming in its conclusion? Simply put, it wasn’t a good story. Every participant was an absolute fool and the WWE doesn't remember how to book Babyfaces anymore. Becky failed at the Royal Rumble losing to Asuka clean. Then hijacks the No. 30 spot in the rumble when there were more deserving candidates available. What makes matters worse is Asuka would have the rug pulled out from under her a week before WrestleMania losing the belt to Flair. So why bother having her retain against Lynch and making things more complicated?

Following the rumble, Flair and Lynch battled for the right to go to WrestleMania. Despite being cleared to compete weeks before the PPV she still entered the ring on crutches and got the crap beaten out of her before Rousey inexplicably crashed the party, got Flair DQ'd and doubled the chances of her losing her title making the match a triple-threat.

The main event of WrestleMania didn’t need to be a triple-threat. It didn’t need Charlotte. And most certainly didn’t need to have both belts on the line. You had an actual fighter in Ronda Rousey and someone from the wrestling world who took an actual punch to the face, broke her nose and suffered a concussion so both participants had credibility entering.

In my eyes, the WWE could’ve done the following, dominate the headlines for their inclusivity, make everyone who needed to look good look good, and not marginalize Asuka in the process:

Becky Lynch def. Asuka for Smackdown Women’s Title at the Royal Rumble, Flair wins the rumble:

Asuka submits to the “Dis-Arm-Her” and Lynch is once again on top of the world after being unceremoniously knocked off by Nia Jax. Flair wins the rumble, and demands both belts are on the line to prove she’s the “Queen.” Both parties oblige and volià! There’s your WrestleMania main event done without unnecessary detours.

Or

Asuka retains vs Becky Lynch, faces Mandy Rose and Sonya Deville in a triple-threat for the title; Banks wins vs Rousey, Ronda is the one to enter No. 30 into the rumble and turning heel in the process.

Pushing Flair to the side here. She’s had enough moments in the spotlight and she’ll have tons more. Being omitted from me, WrestleMania isn’t the end or the world. This year belonged to Becky and Ronda. Let them have the spotlight.

I kind of think a Ronda heel turn would have worked if they paired her up with Paul Heyman. Would’ve made sense since she isn’t much of a talker and is from the ultimate fighting background as Lesnar. But that’s far too simple! And we can’t forget about The Queen. Heavens, no!

Sasha Banks wins vs Rousey; Flair wins the rumble. Lynch vs Rousey has no belt on the line. Banks vs Flair for ‘Mania:

Oooh, this is probably my worst take, but c’mon the Becky Two Belts story didn’t really lead to anything besides Bayley’s revival when a simple win over whoever was champion at the time would’ve done the trick.

Sasha Banks and Ronda had a very nice battle for the Raw Women’s Title. Perhaps the best match of Ronda’s one year stint in the WWE. If anyone doubts Banks’ in-ring capabilities, tell them to look at how she guides the green Rousey through the match. Booking Banks to win the title is a risky proposition. Ronda built a mystic of being unbeatable. A real fighter. Not a fake entertainer pumping ‘roids. Beating her essentially undos all of that. I guess Banks’ could have turned heel here and used a chair when the referee is unconscious and smashed it over Ronda’s head knocking her out of commission for a couple of weeks.

Anyways, Banks defends the title versus Flair. Asuka defends vs Sonya Deville and Mandy Rose; Becky Lynch and Ronda Rousey have an old fashioned grudge match settled at ‘Mania. How’s that for inclusivity? Why aren’t I working for the WWE? Is it because my ideas suck and have no basis in reality? Probably.

[vmheadquarters]

Twelve years, two books, and one Kickstarter-funded movie later, one of TV’s greatest shows has made its triumphant return. Veronica Mars season 4 is just what Marshmallows around the world have been waiting for.

It’s hard to believe that a Veronica Mars season 4 exists, let alone that it has been twelve years since we all first thought we were saying goodbye forever to one of the wittiest, smartest, and most heartfelt shows to have ever been created. Who would have ever thought that a show that struggled to stay on the air as long as it did would have had such a well-deserved comeback?

I, for one, never imagined it. The hope of a small reunion, a one-off, was a glimmer on the horizon for the longest time. And then the announcement of the Veronica Mars movie came and it seemed like we hit peak-Veronica Mars revival culture. But then came the books. And the whispers of a new season.

But with every shiny new Veronica Mars property that came out, the question of “Could it possibly be as good as the original series?” always lingered in the background. Especially with this new season.

‘Veronica Mars’ season 4 review

Suffice it to say that Hulu’s Veronica Mars season 4 revival combines everything you love about the original run of the show with everything you enjoy about binge-worthy television. Updated to reflect the current world climate and to fit into the true crime era we’re now living in, this new season of Veronica Mars feels exactly like how you think a modern run of the show should.

Veronica Mars season 4 picks up not too long after the events of the movie, so a few years at most. Veronica and Keith Mars are working cases side by side, struggling as ever to keep business afloat. Though Veronica’s takedown of Bonnie DeVille’s murderer shone a bit of a light on Mars Investigations, business isn’t really booming. That is until a serial bomber threatens the lives of numerous young people and, even worse, the livelihood of Neptune: Spring Break.

Pooling their resources, connections, and keen instincts for detecting mischief and wrong-doing, Veronica and Keith set out to unmask the bomber before any more lives are lost and the 09ers achieve the return to the “idyllic” and clean (read “white” and “privileged”) Neptune they’ve been fighting so hard for.

There’s quite a lot going on in Veronica Mars season 4. So much so that it doesn’t waste any time jumping in to the conflicts or adding in any gratuitous (Marshmallow) fluff. In fact, this is probably the property’s leanest bit of storytelling as practically every scene and encounter serves a purpose in driving characterization or one of the two main plots (the bombings and the excess gentrification). Though they were also focused on one or two main plots, as well as character development, the movie and the books didn’t feel nearly this streamlined.

That could partially be due to the immense fan service those three bits of storytelling felt compelled to do. While the movie and the books trotted out fan-favorite character after fan-favorite character, there’s quite a bit less of that in this new season of Veronica Mars. While there are some beloved characters that make appearances from time to time, there are fewer of them and they’re not around as much as you’d expect.

In fact, there are perhaps more cameos that feel like they’ve come out of left field than there are appearances by some of the more well-known supporting cast. Without revealing anything, I’d say it’s important going into this season without high expectations of seeing a lot of your favorite supporting characters (if they even show up at all). Their absence is jarring at first, but, once the story gets going, it’s clear that they just don’t fit in well with the current story and shoehorning them in as fan-service just wouldn’t work.

Honestly, Veronica Mars season 4 is less about fan service and more focused on getting back into the groove of the show. Like the series’ original run, this new Hulu season is the perfect mix of darkness, laugh-out-loud comedy, and heartfelt moments. Veronica’s personal mantra that “the people you care about most will always inevitably let you down,” while not as prevalent, still very much lives in the shadows of every interaction she has and relationship she develops.

That being said, while it does work hard to return back to the show’s roots, this season isn’t an exact return to its original form. Given just how much time has passed since the show went off the air and how different the world is today, there’s no way it could be. For all of the way it emulates and pays homage to what has come before, this revival season demonstrates just how much the show, as well as the characters, has evolved.

There’s no better example of this evolution than by tracking all of the different iterations of the show’s theme song, “We Used to Be Friends.” It first changed in the show’s third season, after Veronica Mars‘s move to The CW where the story arcs and overall season structure, not to mention the setting, shifted. The Veronica Mars movie then introduced a more stripped-down and slightly upbeat version which matched the film’s fan-service/reunion vibe.

Now, in this revival season on Hulu, the theme shifts again, this time to a more haunting, ethereal, and noir-ish rendition by Chrissie Hynde of The Pretenders. It takes an episode or so to get acclimated to (after all, the original theme is a classic), but it perfectly conveys just how much Veronica and the show have grown in the past fifteen(!) years. It’s sophisticated and dark yet still playful, just like this season. And it matches the stunning new opening credits perfectly.

Another example of the show’s evolution, as well as its return to form, is Keith and Veronica’s relationship in this new season. They may not have seen eye to eye on Veronica’s decision to stay in Neptune and officially join the family business, that storm cloud that hovered over their relationship in the movie has since dissipated. It’s clear that Keith still doesn’t agree with Veronica giving up her fast-paced lawyer life in New York, but he respects her decision. He makes one remark to his daughter about joining a law firm but ultimately drops the argument.

The show is all the better for this. The moments between Keith and Veronica are some of the best of the season, if not the entire series. They’re just as witty and sharp when interacting with each other, and yet there’s a more mature tenderness that has developed between them since we last visited Neptune, thanks in large part to the fact that they’re now equal business partners. Their relationship isn’t too mature, however, to not have at least one “Who’s your daddy?” quip!

Oh, and there’s a hilarious “cuss war” between Keith and Veronica that’s introduced in the first episode and runs throughout the duration of the season. Presumably, it’s a direct reference to Kristen Bell’s role as Eleanor on The Good Place, but, while it’s an allusion to the NBC show, it fits perfectly here. It’ll seriously have you laughing out loud every time it comes up.

For all of its similarities and callbacks to the previous seasons and stories, there are some pretty drastic differences between Veronica Mars season 4 and its predecessors.

Perhaps the most notable difference this season is the lack of “cases of the week.” Personally, I’m a huge fan of the “case of the week” structure because it’s a fun way to test our characters and reveal different facets about their personalities and relationships with one another. The cases also usually give the overarching mysteries and storylines space to breathe so that when those reveals do come, there’s no emphasis lost.

Additionally, these mostly self-contained mysteries provide a helpful background in distinguishing between episodes. As is so often the case with shows that are meant to be binge-watched, the episodes in Veronica Mars season 4 all run together and don’t have all that much to distinguish themselves from one another. It’s honestly hard to recall which episodes I enjoyed the most out of this season because the entire thing is a blur.

Though I do think there’s a bit of the Veronica Mars charm and cleverness that’s lost without the inclusion of smaller cases, there just wouldn’t be any room for them here with the way the season is plotted out. After all, it’s doubtful that Veronica or Keith would even dream about taking on additional cases after fully entrenching themselves in the case of the spring break bomber.

That’s not to say that there isn’t a lot packed into every episode of Veronica Mars season 4. Each episode is at least 50 minutes long, which means that, even though this Hulu revival season has a total of eight episodes, it’s almost like we’re getting nine and a half episodes worth of classic Veronica Mars (or about four movies).

It’s hard to determine whether or not the amount of episodes we get this season is optimal or not. On one hand, there’s just the right balance between effective character moments and plot. But on the other, this season’s plotlines don’t land quite as hard as past ones, at least on first watch.

The most drastic difference between Veronica Mars season 4 and the rest of the series is the fact that Veronica has less of a personal connection to the overarching mystery this time. Sure, she puts herself in the middle of everything and the bombings impact her daily life. But she takes the case because it’s the right thing to do, not because she or someone she cares about has been directly affected by the bombings.

Her lack of attachment slightly lowers the stakes for the season, which is kind of disappointing that the season focuses solely on the one mystery. Yes, people are being murdered by explosive devices. My observation here isn’t meant to make light of that. But, because Veronica’s personal stakes are generally lower throughout the season, the impact of the mystery is lessened considerably and the “whodunnit” just feels less pressing than usual.

Veronica Mars season 4 also deviates from the norm in its commentary on class and privilege. The plotline about the 09ers working to re-gentrify Neptune and drive out the “riff raff” (including the yearly spring breakers) is an underlying current, but it focuses more on how selfish the “haves” are rather than the impact all of this has on the “have nots.”

Though the movie indicated that a pretty big class war was on the horizon, that tense atmosphere seemingly evaporated in the time since Deputy Sacks was murdered in that “car accident,” most likely due to the sheriff’s department actually being not that corrupt this time around (which is a pretty big shocker).

It’s a small difference that perhaps I’m being too picky about, but after the movie did a great job discussing the racial inequality in Neptune and setting up the town itself as a bomb that was about to explode, the discussions in this new revival season are anti-climatic at best.

And then there are two side plotlines, one involving a senator and the other a Mexican cartel, that just don’t mesh well with the rest of the season at all. They’re directly connected the bomb and 09er plots, but really serve as nothing more than a distraction from everything else that’s going on. Yes, they (sort of) play their part in the season’s climax but are otherwise equal parts pointless and frustrating.

That all being said, the bombing storyline is definitely captivating from start to finish (and then some). The threat this season is no joke as the explosions come without warning and in crowded areas. The bomb that detonates in 4×04 is particularly gruesome and hard to watch, especially in the immediate aftermath. Not only that, but they’re hard to track. Many times, mysteries can be pretty easy to figure out but, true to form and thanks to a few pretty big twists, this Veronica Mars mystery will keep you guessing and feel like you’re missing something until the very end.

New to this season, Patton Oswalt’s pizza delivery guy character introduces a “true crime” element into the Veronica Mars universe which, honestly, I can’t believe we haven’t seen before. He follows all of the bombings going on, as well as the other cases Mars Investigations has taken on in the past, and adds a layer of skepticism. Not only that, but he also serves as a way of legitimizing just how intelligent Veronica is and how perfect she is in the role of a private eye, rather than a lawyer.

In this era of true crime that we’re all living in, it’s easy to forget that there are real people involved in the crimes and real lives at stake. While it’s not an official plotline for the season, one of the effective underlying currents is the slow takedown of true crime enthusiasts and just how much harder it is to solve crimes in real time and in the field rather than from a couch or a cell phone.

Speaking of characters with notable storylines, what would an article about Veronica Mars be without fangirling a bit over Logan Echolls and LoVe? After everything he has experienced in his life (especially the last few years), it makes sense that Logan we meet in Veronica Mars season 4 is quite different from the Logans we knew in previous seasons. Still a United State Naval Aviator, this Logan is regimented and reserved. He’s still witty and charming, but in a more subtle way.

However, Jason Dohring and Kristen Bell’s chemistry is still as sizzling as ever. Each scene they share is incredibly nuanced and emotional. Logan and Veronica may say one thing or act one way to each other, but their body language and facial expressions many times tell completely different stories. And yet, there’s still a sense that these two are not only completely meant for each other, but also that they’ll figure out some way to make it work.

This season takes extra care with Logan’s character, fleshing him out and bringing us all up to speed with just who he is at his point in his life. No longer surrounded in controversy, we’re able to see Logan the man rather than the Logan who’s almost always at the center of a storm. Not only that, but this season gives us a better understanding of who Logan is outside of his relationship with Veronica (or really, any other regular characters from the show). We get to see Logan for Logan. Jason Dohring gives his best performance as Logan in this season and, honestly, he’s a joy to watch.

And then there’s Veronica.

Veronica Mars is no longer the brooding teen and town pariah she once was. She’s all grown up now. Of course, Veronica still has her flaws (mainly her penchant for distrusting just about everyone and her unyielding pride), but she knows who she is and accepts all of the aspects of herself, for better or worse. This Veronica is self-aware enough to know when she’s in the wrong and she’s getting better about owning up and apologizing for it.

Also, although she tries to put up the same sharp, prickly front, it becomes increasingly apparent through the season that Veronica has softened considerably. Sure, she still just as witty and clever as she always was, but her second chance at love with Logan as well as her father’s brush with death has made her more of a marshmallow than she was before. Veronica wears more of her emotions on her sleeve and isn’t as quick to dismiss others as she has been in the past. In fact, dare I say, she’s more trusting and lets people in a lot more than she used to.

Veronica’s character development from the movie to now and all throughout this season is incredibly gratifying to watch. Following her trajectory has been a bit of a frustrating struggle sometimes, but this season makes it all worth it.

Veronica Mars season 4 has been a long time coming and, now that it’s finally here, it’s hard not to love it. This season is by no means perfect, but it feels like a proper return to Neptune and all of the characters we Marshmallows care so much about. Plus, it’s quite an enjoyable and emotional ride from start to finish with some pretty big twists and major events along the way (two in particular that will most likely set the internet ablaze).

Fans of Veronica Mars as a whole won’t be able to get enough of this fresh take on the show and will surely be clamoring for more as the final episode’s credits roll.

Random spoiler-free notes from watching ‘Veronica Mars’ season 4

The first episode makes it feel like truly no time has passed since the show went off the air. It sets up all of the season’s conflicts and storylines as effectively as its 1×01 and 2×01 predecessors.

OMG DICK.

I’ve never been more turned on by a Frank Sinatra song since 10 Things I Hate About You.

Wait, is this show actually introducing capable semi-capable local law enforcement with a sheriff that isn’t completely self-involved?

So Logan is effectively Veronica Mars‘s version of the Bruce Banner?

This season is very Jessica Jones-like in its story-telling. There are no “cases of the week,” but there is a lot of sardonic commentary to go around.

OMG THE BOOKS ARE OFFICIALLY CANON!

Is this show introducing a “new generation” here or something? Could you ever have Veronica Mars without Veronica Mars?

‘Veronica Mars’ season 4 will be streaming exclusively on Hulu starting Friday, July 26, 2019.