#because to be fair how much of the hatred is even in direct consequence of what he does

[cdroloisms]

honestly, there's probably a lot you can say abt c!dream in terms of losing even when he wins. because, tbh, this is...consistent.

c!dream is very intelligent and very good at PVP and these are well-established traits from the beginning of the server. he is skilled at thinking strategically and therefore is often able to navigate unfavorable situations to him in order to successfully achieve some goal of his. in terms of achieving goals, c!Dream isn't half bad in the slightest! but how do these goals actually work out for him?

in the revolution, c!dream successfully leads his side to victory while minimizing damage to his own people (and, sometimes, minimizing damage across the board: see him telling his men to hold fire to allow lmanburgians to retrieve their items.) the most amount of risk to anyone on his side is during the duel, where he ended up on half a heart to determine the end result of the war. and it's quite undeniable that c!dream wins the war--he gets to set the terms of the peace, gives them "technical" independence as he planned to from the start but says that he and the rest of the Dream SMP will view them as constituents of the greater server and gets both discs after c!tommy offers them willingly. by all means, on paper, a glowing success.

only time passes and as others treat l'manburg as independent, he is forced to do the same. "suck it green boy" becomes one of the most common catchphrases of the server when the independence that was granted them in the book that this statement was written was. literally given to them out of c!dream's mercy? and not out of their victory? he loses both discs AND significant leverage against himself due to various conflicts that involved people stealing from him and/or blackmailing him when he literally wasn't doing anything. l'manburg's ranks have swelled and the story established by it and its independence has long since drowned out any other perspective on the war.

then, in manberg/pogtopia, c!dream enters into the conflict from the perspective of wanting c!schlatt out of power. later on, remaining loyal to c!wilbur, he helps him to successfully pull off the plot to blow up L'manburg and also manages to obtain the revive book through a brief alliance with c!Schlatt. once again, his goals were successfully pulled off in no small part due to his strategizing.

and yet, in the long run, what does c!dream really gain? the revive book is something he evidently didn't know about until the trade with c!Schlatt, and the knowledge of it fucking destroys him. with both c!Schlatt and c!Wilbur dead, he immediately ends up as enemy number one, something c!Wilbur himself states later on. c!Dream, who had never really had any particularly stable alliances pre-manberg anyway, comes out the other side of November 16th even more alone than he had been before, publicly distrusted (not that he was ever really trusted, even by Pogtopia before he officially starts working against them because of the revive book, something that the content creator himself has stated was created purely to explain why c!Dream would switch sides.) the destruction of L'manburg is merely temporary. the plan to blow up L'manburg was c!wilbur's in creation, and considering how open c!Dream is about disliking c!Schlatt, I really hesitate to think that he was going out of his way to ally with guy unless he himself intentionally revealed the revive book to this end (like. c!schlatt is a smart guy, bro.)

c!dream is "secretive" about just about nothing at this time, besides I guess his actually helping Pogtopia (if you can call this guy telling the fucking Manberg cabinet that it's L'manburg, not Manberg, being secretive el em ay oh)--he's open about helping c!Wilbur with the TNT (and c!Wilbur you know, makes a point of doing it in front of an audience both times he asks c!Dream for TNT as well) in Vassal and then on November 6th, and that exact stream is also where he literally walks in the middle of Pogtopia to say hey guys. I'm Betraying You Now. like ???

everything he gains at this time culminates to 1) he helps c!Wilbur successfully pull off a plan that c!Wilbur himself came up with and wanted to pull off and does, to some degree, pressure c!Dream into agreeing with him about--even if c!Dream was going to give him the TNT no matter what, he does display a measure of resistance during Vassal Speech (whether or not you believe this resistance was genuine) and c!Wilbur responds to that by kinda threatening him. So. and 2) he gets the revive book by acting in service to a guy that was clearly established as someone he disliked and feared, and that book is also something that we KNOW scared the shit out of him and like ended up prompting a paranoid spiral that ends with him creating a whole goddamn prison to put himself inside. soooooooo. you know. and all of this is happening at the same time that his losses end up turning into "by the time november 16th rolls around and is over and done with most people either want him dead or are very very close to wanting him dead, cheers!"

then obviously, there's everything from november 16th to the staged disc finale. again, we see c!Dream pulling strategic plays left and right and achieving the goals he has--at this point, often through, uh, less than savory means. through political bullshit with NLM and well, exile, he manages to get the disc during green festival; through helping c!Techno against the butcher army, he manages to obtain a favor; through stuff involving the enderwalk and some kinda deal that im p sure has remained unspecified, he manages to get Cat from c!Skeppy; through experiments with c!Punz, he gets information on the revive book; through green festival, obtaining both discs (and therefore no longer needing to act in terms of political interests with NLM), and establishing common ground with c!Techno, he's able to destroy L'manburg through Doomsday; through having the discs + everyone hating his guts because of Green Festival, Doomsday, and to be fair everyone literally just hating his guts from the outset, he is able to ensure the security of c!Punz, the revive book, and himself by locking himself in prison. A lot of different moving parts, a lot of different goals, a lot of running around the server to get what he needs to get done done at the right times in the right ways, and he manages to con the server and put himself exactly where he wanted to be.

and yet?? and yet??? sure, he pulls off what he wants to pull off, sure he achieves his goals, but in terms of actually winning? he's paranoid and the paranoia just keeps getting worse. the threats to his life and the amount of enemies that want him dead just keep growing in numbers. he finally gets lmanburg blown up for good but you know there's going to be like 4 more factions on this server by the time he gets imprisoned. his friends ditch him and then try to kill him when he clumsily tries to communicate that he's trying to protect them because of the paranoia he has about everyone hating his guts, he explicitly identifies the reasons for people's hatred as having a lot to do with manberg/pogtopia arc where he ends up helping two dead men that aren't around for people to hate anymore, he pulls off staged finale and puts himself in a prison that ends up shattering himself.

like he achieves his goals--even if we're talking about the prison, even if we're talking about the time where things most thoroughly go awry for him because of c!sam's betrayal, you can't say that he didn't achieve what he intended. c!sam kept him alive, and would do anything to keep him alive--he might've been wrong about a lot, but he wasn't wrong about that. and yet. AND YET.

c!dream achieves his goals but where does he end up? miserable and afraid of literally damn near everything and losing his whole mind in the exact prison that he constructed to keep himself safe when in a paranoid spiral about a hostile world that suddenly made so much less sense than he was used to--alone.

like. wdym doesn't lose all he does is lose literally everything he ever had like 😭😭😭😭😭

[lockandkeyhyena]

long anon again! I hope you don't mind me sending you so many asks, your story has been producing so many thoughts out of me lately!

Not sure if this is too personal but I do want to clarify that I am myself a victim of multiple occurrences of grooming / attempted kidnapping. My whole family is comprised of mainly women / children and while I am no victim to any sexual act myself, it is unfortunately very common among the other members of my family (my older sibling is a direct result of csa, our mother is still haunted by the trauma to this day, she turned to drugs and everything it is very bad). I'm for sure not offering my support without any personal say in the matter haha

I feel like, despite my support for your story, my own personal views are very different from yours (and from the other anons who have spoken their own personal support). While I enjoy exploring the humanity of horrible people in media, I feel like in real life, it only truly makes me hate them more. If that makes sense?

The way I see it... Yes, these awful criminals are human, but that only makes their actions worse. They are entirely capable of care and consideration. Of recognizing right from wrong. And yet they make the choice to hurt others in some of the worse ways imaginable, deliberately, sometimes repeatedly, and often for nothing more than their own personal pleasure. And by the end of the day, the crime is nothing to them. They are able to walk away and live their sickeningly normal, bland lives, they are able to work their jobs, and enjoy their hobbies, and hug their mothers like it doesn't even matter. No regret. No apologies. So pity.

They are human but they are just about the worst of what our species has to offer. Forgiveness is off the table and my hatred is something I will take to the grave, and beyond, if there ever is the possibility.

Do I think these criminals can become better people? Yes, but I don't think it really matters after the deed is done. If it were up to me those kinds of criminals would spend the rest of their lives behind bars, and while I don't advocate for *torture* I for certain believe in punishment; proper consequences for ones actions. Maybe I could even tolerate rehabilitation, but never freedom. Never freedom.

To me its just another case of priority. I think of things on a mass, wider scale. These criminals are human, but they are humans who make the deliberate choice to hurt others. Some of them even *enjoy* doing it. They are a legitimate danger to the people around them, and to me it is only the logical decision to put innocent people before criminals, and especially before child predators. I cannot in good faith release someone who chooses to abuse kids out into the wild, no matter how many times I put them through a rehab program, because I absolutely cannot guarantee nobody else will get hurt.

If I make the promise that a criminal is rehabilitated, and that criminal goes on to hurt more people, well that blood would -- albeit indirectly -- be on *my* hands, wouldn't it? Am I willing to risk the lives and wellbeing of innocent people, innocent children, for the possibility of a criminal to be good? I can't do that... Maybe it isn't fair, but it wasn't fair of them to ruin an innocent persons life to begin with. There's only so much a society can do to prevent these kinds of things from happening (even a hypothetical perfect society wouldn't be able to eradicate all crime), at some point you have to make the decision to just keep bad people away from their targets. Obviously that goes without addressing the flaws of the modern day prison system, but I will not go into that.... lol

That and, I don't truly feel like *being good* is enough to constitute a 'redemption' for child abusers, at least in the real world. To me a bad person, especially of that caliber, has to *do good* in order to earn any sort of redemption. If you abuse a child and you truly regret it, I fully expect you to save 20 kids from a burning building and donate charity to victims for the rest of your life. After some proper consequences of course. Loll. Anyways those are just my thoughts!

hello again haha! no worries whatsoever, your thoughts are really interesting to read!

i think your perspective is really interesting and honestly, necessary, while it doesn’t line up exactly with mine, i can absolutely see where you’re coming from.

i definitely agree with you on the ‘being a better person’ and ‘doing better things’ aspect. you better save those children from a burning building.

and your analysis of predators being human and that making them worse is something i’ve never thought about that way and is a perspective i greatly appreciate!!

ultimately, the aim for my story is not to tell you how to feel about these terrible people but to show you that some people *can* change, regardless of people’s reactions to that.

i would personally never forgive alvin, hell i might even never stop hating him, but i think that being the case and him trying to be a better person regardless is what makes the story important.

anyway, i greatly enjoy your anons!! thank you for your thoughts haha, everyone should be reading them- you’re extremely articulate and informed

[anthonybialy]

Power Switch

Everyone cheers for the underdog.  Who doesn’t loves an unexpected victory from a BCS school over a powerhouse?  Amateur viewers figure the team bookies give points must be downtrodden.

But football doesn’t always reflect the rest of life even aside from how most humans can determine what a catch is.  Take how a war team some cheer on wouldn’t quite inspire with an unexpected win.  Sometimes, the plucky long shot faces such a vast spread because it spends its hours practicing mass homicide instead of how to leave the Stone Age.  Terror movements don’t enjoy the simplest amenities.  The Miracle on Ice has been replaced by treating ice as a miracle.

Hamas is the latest adopted pet for leftists far removed from the butchering.  There’s no chance their personal blood will stain sidewalks, which makes backing human annihilators easy.  Making atrocious idiots siding with villains intellectually uncomfortable is the closest they’ve ever come to facing consequences.

Iran’s unit for making the respectable world as miserable as their primitive theocracy is nothing but an imitation of a ’70s-style people’s army.  You’ll never guess who’s joined the booster club.  Cheering against America comes naturally for citizens who love everything about it but all the stuff.

The horrid fad epitomized by fondness for the Viet Cong has reemerged in an alternate form rampaging through the area’s only nice neighborhood.  Jane Fonda desperately wants to launch a Hamas rocket.

Worshiping Che embodies awfulness perceived as cute by commies who never had to suffer under it.  A goon who lost every fair fight he ever waged was as clumsy a mass murderer as Hamas.  And he hated gay people about as much.  Trying to tear down the successful in a more literal way than taxing them to oblivion won’t stop rich leftists from finding their saint stirring.

Columbia University serving as a hive of Jew hatred even by disgraceful Ivy League standards is a particularly appalling throwback from the more august parts of Manhattan.  Tom Wolfe’s spirit strolls through the borough’s fancier enclaves as radical chic flourishes despite his dismantling of it.  The dedication to wretched causes by those in the cushiest positions is reminiscent of the most stylish grossly embracing Black Panther cop-murderers.  Supporters of the wrong directional Germany never grasp that history is nothing more than noticing patterns.  It’s also why they get biology wrong.

A fondness for any of the ‘70s terror gangs is making the worst sort of retro throwback comeback.  Hamas is badder than Baader-Meinhof not just in bloodlust but because of precedent.  Anyone who’s paid attention knows just how diabolical the destructors are, which counts out their cult.  Pursuing ghastly leftist nonsense in the most horribly homicidal manner possible is how wealthy hypocrites apologize for unearned wealth.

Consistency is not to be praised for the dreadful.  Make no mistake that Hamas enthusiasts were 100 percent the same ones claiming America deserved it as rubble smoldered on September 11.  The only thing more disgusting than siding with those opposed to life itself is who their terror pals attacked.  Massacred Israelis are as disrespected by apologists for monstrosities as World Trade Center office workers.  Standing against everything decent is unfortunately timeless.

Embracing criminals only happens figuratively, as connoisseurs of leftist insurgent violence would never appear anywhere rendered unsafe by their beliefs.  You’d think they might want selfies with their beloved team’s favorite players.

It’s so romantic to think revolutionary struggles are adorable in nobility aside from the corpse piles.  Rallying for the allegedly disenfranchised should begin by determining whether they’re oblivious to how many innocents minding their own business have been slaughtered by their potential heroes. 

Aside from not being able identify who actually struggles, their moral compass points accurately.  It takes a few moments of observation to determine who’s really oppressed, namely Israel.  Sick cheerleaders for subversion think the actual religion of peace with a sliver of global population on a sliver of land surrounded by medieval barbarian fanatics who want to obliterate it for the crime of existing are the ones with power.

Cheering for terrorism from afar surely pairs a lack of empathy with selfish delusion.  It’s not like someone’s going to fly into any concert they attend and remove their heads from the rest of their bodies.  That’s unless terrorists could walk right over an open American border or there’s some way of attacking via flying.

Rich liberals are insulated from the worst of their pet domestic policies, as well, which makes the way they inflict the opposite of helping even more aggravating.  Proles they profess to help end up suffering from inflation and inflated minimum wage.  And wealthy virtue signalers can afford tuition despite government making it unobtainable for many as part of its drive to make it obtainable.

Admiring the Third World while enjoying the benefits of the First is one way to cope with guilt.  Trappings are wholly unearned, of course.  Mooching is their way of life.  It’s no wonder they sympathize with people’s republics no matter the style.  The society is so prosperous that even the uselessly ungrateful can enjoy opulent living.  Even Joe Biden can’t tear down affluence despite destruction being his sole skill.

Chaos enablers will be glad to learn their debate foe.  Seeing life as nothing more than a matter of who has power is also how Donald Trump approaches life.  The self-professed strongman reflexively cheers for whichever side he thinks has the most, which is on the same terms as vacuum-dwellers who cheer for whichever side they think has the least.  Plant a thought they deserve.

There’s a rather simple test for who is good.  Check to see if your side behead babies for the crime of being Jewish.  If so, you may want to shred your membership card.  Progressives cheered because they thought Planned Parenthood’s Gaza branch pioneered concierge service.

Maintaining ignorance offers common ground between terrorists and their aloof proponents.  Israel’s attackers seem afflicted only because they choose to attempt demolishing those who spent their time building buildings.  The group fashioning rockets out of pipes literally tears apart civilization to attack one.  Lack of clout stems from their adherence to heinous crudeness.

The best way to make fewer humans appear persecuted is to stop implementing Democratic policy goals.  Class warfare is nothing more than aggressive jealousy.  Israel’s fiendish foes are powerless because they refuse to live in a republic with members of a religion blamed by losers for every ill for as long as it’s existed.  Depressed Blue States are the equivalent of a two-state solution.  Choosing to live in multiple types of poverty leads to support from those who condemn being rich while giving up no riches.  Life gets worse for the worst allies.

[porgthespacepenguin]

What in The World Is Q Planning? (a Qcard meta)

So I've been thinking (I know, I know). We're nearly 3/4th through the season, and so far, it's been fairly difficult to see how it all ties in together.

What's Q doing exactly? What's his end game, his exit strategy?

Brace yourselves: it's galaxy brain time.

(Also, fair warning: this post is long AF.)

What the heck is going on?

If you're like me, you must have been asking yourself: what the heck is Q doing?

To answer that, there are three narrative elements we should examine separately:

What happened in the present with the Stargazer?

Why did Q bring team Picard to the dark totalitarian present?

Why did Q go back to the 21st century to prevent Renee Picard from going to space?

Note that all three plot points are intimately tied together like an intricate puzzle, but #2 and #3 are direct consequences of #1 (through Q's intervention). Don't worry, I'll explain.

The starting point: the Stargazer

Episode 2.7 (my beloved) revealed a few critical points to us:

Agnes is very likely the next Borg Queen;

"We're all here for [Picard]";

"We're stuck".

Fine, you say, that's all well and good, but it doesn't shed much light on whatever Q's scheming. Except it does, when we dig a little deeper.

In a previous post, I wrote already about what Queen!Agnes could mean for the Borg, and how Picard's actions impact that, so I won't spend more time on it.

What's important for now is that Picard's actions on the Stargazer are the both the starting point of the whole mess, and their eventual ending.

The road not taken

Q had to intervene because Picard gave in to his fear of the unknown and his hatred of the Borg, killing himself, the fleet and the new Queen in the process.

A fact Picard plainly refuses to admit, even to himself. When Q tells him that Picard does know, deep down, he doesn't answer. He can't.

In fact, Picard can't even acknowledge it. The idea that he could do such a thing (destroy out of fear and anger) is so at odds with his self-image, with his sense of self that he literally can't contemplate it.

He can't have been so wrong; so his decision must have been right. There was no other way: he made the only possible choice.

If that sounds like a psychological defense, that's because it is.

Jean-Luc's sense of self is more fragile than it seems at first glance. His childhood trauma, and inability to move on from it, has left invisible cracks in the very foundations of who he is.

It's not a coincidence that his unconscious mind manifests as a dark basement, a dungeon: it's the foundation upon which the castle of his self is built, and it's not sound.

(Also there are literal monsters down there. Never a good sign.)

As Jean-Luc fears his emotions, they in turn rule over him.

Of course, that's unacceptable for a cerebral Starfleet officer such as Picard. Not unlike a Vulcan, he's cut himself off from his emotions, keeps them behind the White Door under lock and key, where they won't interfere with his reason and logic.

Without emotions to get in the way, Picard can and does rationalize his choice on the Stargazer: the Borg are dangerous, they can't change, there was no other choice but to destroy them.

And indeed, based on Picard's knowledge, his logic, his decision makes sense: destroy the threat before it destroys you.

But he's wrong.

As a famous Vulcan once said:

Picard has logic and knowledge in abundance, but what he lacks is wisdom.

And wisdom doesn't come from logic without emotions, or emotions without logic: but from the successful integration of both.

Picard has to accomplish this integration if ever hopes to ascend, which I theorize is the next frontier for him. He needs to look up, quite literally.

So what better way for Q to bring the point home than to show Picard a world where his logical, rational reasoning for blowing up the Stargazer is taken to its absolute extreme?

"Welcome to the very end of the road not taken."

And indeed, it is: here is a world where fear of the unknown and hatred of what is different reign supreme, with terrible consequences for the universe and its inhabitants.

As Andrew Smith once wrote:

“People fear what they don't understand and hate what they can't conquer.” 

Reminds you of something? Why, the dark present, of course.

In both realities, Picard is a role model. But where our Picard encourages the Starfleet cadets to "look up", Warlord!Picard does the opposite, and symbolically looks down instead, letting his basest instincts (anger, fear, hatred) rule him.

As Q points out, the dark present is a reflection of this duality:

The dark future is a logical extreme, a metaphor, a mirror held up to Picard to help him understand where he went wrong:

"This is the only life you understand."

Of course, Q exaggerates. Picard is struggling with his fear of the Borg, and made a bad decision, but he isn't Warlord!Picard by any stretch of the imagination.

Q knows that, of course, but he's angry (we'll see he may have good reasons to be), and he needs his provocative words to get Picard to think.

Unfortunately, unsurprisingly, it doesn't work.

And so, Q leaves Picard to see and experience for himself the corruption of the dark present. But once Picard's had a taste of it, and found his crew, there's nothing more here for him to learn.

To the past we go.

Through a mirror, brightly

So Q leaves a trail of crumbs and gets team Picard to follow him to the 21st century. But why?

Q wants Jean-Luc, the last Picard, to meet Renee, the first Picard (to travel to the stars). Believe it or not, it's as simple as that.

The dark present comes to life because Renee lets her fear win the day. She too, like her descendent, has trouble accepting her emotions and confronting her fear:

"I start going numb, and that scares me. I don't know if it's my gut, or just plain fear."

She fears the unknown of space, her own reactions to it, and her capacity to rise up to the occasion. Letting fear control her, she stays on Earth, with dramatic consequences for all.

In other words, she's Jean-Luc's mirror.

As an aside: it's not a coincidence Q chose to take the form of Renee's therapist. And despite what Estonia and Picard think, Q is actually helping her, in a roundabout way, and through her, trying to reach Jean-Luc:

He's right, just like he's right about her not being ready yet. She's not, but she will be, after Jean-Luc talks to her at Q's instigation.

Q not only wanted Picard to see Renee as a reflection of his own fears, but also wanted Jean-Luc to help her through them. Picard can't help himself, because he doesn't know himself; but helping others, raising them up with his words, is something that he excels at:

"You must learn to lift others in time of great danger, to lead them with inspiring speech."

And so he does. He and Renee sit down and have a conversation about fear, and Jean-Luc actually gives her good advice, including this little gem about finding light in the darkness:

Yes, Jean-Luc, trust your sun! He needs you, more than you know:

"Sometimes those who shine the brightest feel the sting of fear and melancholy in ways that others can never understand."

Jean-Luc is talking about Renee here, and ostensibly his mother, but let's face it: he might as well be describing Q. Who, like the sun, burns bright but is essentially all alone in the dark.

Regardless, it works: the last Picard talks the first Picard through her own fears, Renee goes into quarantine and the dark future is (presumably) averted.

But it's not enough: Jean-Luc can't ever seem to apply his own wise advice to himself. His fears are too deep, too ancient, rooted in old wounds that have never properly healed.

We need to dig deeper

Hence the therapy session.

Personally, I'm more and more convinced Q is the therapist. I don't have any proof of it beyond a gut feeling. It doesn't even particularly make sense since we know Q is losing his powers. I don't know what to tell you: I just do, and I'm probably wrong.

Anyway, we know that, at the very least, Q has engineered this strange therapy: the show spells it out for us through Estonia.

"All of that was part of Q's plan? That you experience that? That you relive those memories?"

So ultimately, it doesn't matter if Q is the therapist, or if Jean-Luc conjured up a Q-sounding therapist to help him. Either way, Q gets what he wants: for Jean-Luc to start addressing his trauma and the root of his fear.

And Picard does make some progress. He learns that not all "monsters" are what they seem: his father, obviously, but the seed has been planted, and there's hope he'll eventually understand it applies to the Borg Queen.

(And Q.)

Yet Picard is still far from ready to face his fears. There's so much more to confront: something is trapped behind the white door and is clamouring to get out.

What's behind the door is anybody's guess, but whatever it is, I believe it's absolutely essential to Picard's healing: most likely, his feelings, desperate to be finally let out.

Among them, prominently, his feelings for Q.

But Picard flatly refuses to open the door. As he angrily tells the therapist, we don't know how the story ends -- but he does.

My guess is: it ended badly. Very badly. At his mother's urging, he opened the door, and it ended with her death: she probably killed herself.

And so, we come to the core of the problem: Jean-Luc doesn't want to open the door, just like he didn't want to be unstuck.

What if he opens the door, and it ends in tragedy again? What if his feelings, his love, bring death to someone else he cares about, again?

The only possible answer is: never again.

And so the door remains shut, his emotions out of reach, and Jean-Luc stays stuck.

Look up

Whenever young Jean-Luc was scared, his mother would play the same song, and help him through his fear:

This is why Q made Picard hear his mom's favorite song when he faced the Borg Queen, and again in the dark La Barre after he lashed out.

Q was trying to get a message across, on the most basic of levels: look up, get past your fear, the monster is not what you think.

But that's not all: Q is possibly trying to trigger a memory of Picard working through his trauma.

A memory, Porg, I hear you say. What are you talking about, it hadn't happened yet.

Well, no.

Or had it?

Now, wait a minute...

Let's pause here to think things through:

Agnes is the Borg Queen;

Agnes becomes the Borg Queen in 21st century LA;

She's only there because Q intervened when Picard blew up the Stargazer;

Picard blew up the Stargazer because of the Borg Queen.

Do you see the problem?

That's right, we've got ourselves a paradox.

Breezing past the obvious and delicious AGT 2.0 implications, this explains a lot about Q's behavior.

He intervened, and now they're all trapped, unable to move on.

The therapist tells us so outright. Twice, in fact:

"In the meantime, we're all stuck here."

"Why do you think we're here?"

"Because... I'm stuck."

"We are."

Earlier on in the season, when Picard tells Q that he refuses to be a pawn in his game, Q replies:

"You are the very board on which this game is played."

If Picard is the board, then all the other characters, including Q, are merely playing pieces, stuck in a game they can't win.

We're all hostages here

And now we come to the truly galaxy brain part: keep in mind this is all pure speculation, and will likely be disproved tomorrow.

I'm wondering if they're caught in a time loop.

Either caused by the paradox itself, by the anomaly when Picard blew it up, or by Q every time Picard fails to get it right.

Interestingly, the Borg Queen from the dark present tells us:

The nature of time is to flow: I'd argue a time loop, which can't move forward at all, like a snake biting its own tail, constitutes "broken" time.

However, @celestialwarzone cleverly pointed out that the Queen doesn't explicitely warn Picard of a time loop, which is a fair point, as the Borg have temporal abilities beyond most linear beings. Three options are possible: she may be unaware of it, unwilling to share its existence, or there simply is no time loop.

But let's assume, for the sake of argument, that there is indeed a time loop on top of a time paradox. It would conveniently shed light on a few points.

First, it would explain how the new Borg Queen knew exactly what to tell Picard:

At the end of the loop, Picard would know Agnes is the same Borg Queen he has killed and will kill aboard the Stargazer: these words from his past are a shibboleth, a shared understanding between him and Agnes. They are a key. But without the background work of undoing Picard's trauma, they aren't enough.

I suspect that next time, however, they will be.

Secondly, a time loop would explain why Guinan's Summoning didn't work: if they're cut off from regular time, it stands to reason they're also cut off from the Continuum itself.

Which is likely why Q's powers are disappearing: he's literally running out of time to make Picard confront his fear and make the right decision.

No wonder Q is desperate: a non-linear being, caught in a time loop, reliving the same few days, losing his powers, running out of time...

A literal hostage to what he loves.

Lastly, could it be this why Q is so angry in episode 2.2 and why he lashes out so harshly at Picard?

"I've had enough of your obstinance, your stubbornness, your insistence on changing in all ways but the one that matters!"

Note that Q neither tells Picard what he is supposed to change, nor explains how he's apparently not been doing it. Cue a very confused Picard, which in turns means an angry Picard.

But if they're caught in a loop... given that humans are linear beings, it's very likely that Picard would forget everything the moment a new loop start (time being essentially 'reset' for him).

So every loop, every attempt, would be entirely new to Picard. If we look at their conversation from his perspective -- dropped into a corrupted present by a furious Q after not seeing him for 30 years -- it makes no sense whatsoever.

But it does to Q.

From Q's non-linear perspective, they've probably had this exact same conversation before. And here they are again, so Picard clearly hasn't listened to him before. No wonder Q seems more frustrated and cross than we've ever seen him:

"Oh, I could tell you, but you're far too clever to listen."

Q has no wish to be Cassandra, telling truths nobody wants to hear. Knowing that it's useless, a waste of his now limited time, he's given up trying convince Picard with his words.

Here we go again

Which begs the question, considering how patient Q normally is: how many times, exactly, have they gone through all this?

If they are indeed caught in a loop, I'd wager quite a few.

The show possibly gives us a hint in episode 2.5 when Q tells a doubtful Dr. Soong:

"In 17 seconds, you're going to take a seat."

"(...)There. 17 seconds, right on the tick."

Oddly specific, even for Q, especially with limited powers. Except if he's done this before, Groundhog Day style.

Watch how the protagonist times everyone's actions to the second, allowing him to walk away with the money unnoticed:

At any rate, in the loop we're watching, things have taken a turn for the worst: Q's powers are starting to wane ("Unexpected... and most unfortunate"), although we don't know yet how much, or if he has any power left at all.

At the very least, we know Q can't just snap doubts into Renee's mind anymore, and he seems to have been doing things by himself this time around, at least from episode 2.4 onwards.

Clearly, he's running out of time.

I wonder if this sudden unexpected turn is what has been driving Q to new extremes, taking higher risks like forcibly pushing Jean-Luc into confronting his trauma in 2.6.

What if this loop is the last attempt Q can manage before... he dies?

Then the only play he has left is to go all in, and hope for the best.

The end game

How does it end? Honestly, I have no idea. We can only speculate at this point, and we'll likely learn more in episode 2.8.

However, I'm reasonably certain Picard and his team must end back exactly where they started: back on the Stargazer with the new Queen.

@celestialwarzone, always asking the smart questions, wondered how exactly team Picard would travel back to the future.

And there's a thorny question.

The other Borg Queen is dead. But even if they came back the same way they left, slingshoting around the sun, they still wouldn't end up back on the Stargazer at the right moment. And Agnes, for one, most likely has to travel back through the anomaly with her new fleet in order to, well, be the Queen.

So there's not that many options to get everyone back to their proper places:

Either there is a time loop and time resets, problem solved;

Or Q sends them back with the last of his powers.

Either way, it's their last shot at fixing thing. If there's a loop, this is clearly the last attempt; and if there isn't, they aren't getting a third chance.

If Picard still doesn't get make the right choice, the consequences could be devastating. Would the timeline then collapse entirely under the weight of the paradox? Only Q knows. But I imagine it can't be good for the universe.

Q's exit strategy

Speaking of Q, what could be his fate?

If there's no time loop, then most likely, he will have to use what's left of his powers to send team Picard forward in time. Considering his current state, the effort may very well kill him.

If there's a time loop, his chances of survival are higher, unless the effort of keeping it together until the end proves too great.

Either way, considering the foreshadowing in 2.7, I'm really worried about him.

Actually, there's something about Maman Picard's story I still can't quite wrap my head around. She says the Sorcerer loses his magic,

The first part is clearly Q losing his powers, but the second part? "Stolen back"? "In the very manner he had arrived by it"?

How or from where does a Q get their power? Who or what could be stealing Q's? (Let's hope it's not the Continuum.)

So many questions! Let's hope we start getting some answers tomorrow.

Anyway, thank you for reading this insanely long meta, and fingers crossed for some delightful Qcard content in 2.8!

[the-black-bulls]

Hello! Original "William is classist" anon here! 😀 It's not just because his squad is strictly noble (though Luck is a good example that he did have other options). It's also that he continuously failed to address the classist bullying toward Yuno in his squad and showed consistent disregard for human life in such a way that disproportionately affects the lower classes.

On bullying: William is the captain and sets the example, but his entire squad was cruel toward Yuno except for Mimosa, a new recruit. William may have been a commoner, but he embraced nobility and its classism wholeheartedly, and this is portrayed in the people that he surrounds himself with.

As for the disregard for human life. Aiding in Patri's plan will hurt the lower class more than the royals, who have greater means of defending themselves. Also allowing Patri to blame all of humanity for crimes of the royals is majorly classist. We know for a fact that William has the knowledge to know that Patri's hatred of ALL humans is completely unjustified when only the ones in power hurt the elves. In addition, he made Langris, who is as unhinged as Luck (if not worse when it comes to killing civilians) the vice captain, which puts even more commoners and such at risk. At that point, it's not just that he's politely ignorant. He's making a series of choices that show his true colors.

It may not be that he's consciously thinking "I'm better than them," but his actions speak louder than his words: and as for words, he is the biggest liar in the series.

Oh finally you showed yourself, “William is Classist” Anon. Do you know how many replies and asks I got because of you? 🤨 (jk)

OK to be perfectly honest I’m not well familiar with William’s character and the only source I take is the manga. I don’t see the anime as a reliable source with character because most of the time it changes things or adds things that don't work with the original source. So I’ll be only talking about myself and my own interpretation of his character based on my personal reading, this will get long and excuse me to use your ask for this half-assed William meta but I have to get this off my chest.

Fair warning: long meta.

For starter William may not be a straight up bad person, but he’s still not a good person. He’s also not a good captain but we will talk about this later. William is a kind and likeable man by nature and he has a tragic backstory, so I can see why people may sympathize with him. However I’ve always seen him as straight up selfish and ignorant and hypocritical person who’s more flawed than you’d think and I love this about his character because humans aren’t perfect.

William only cares about two people, Julius and Patri. He becomes captain for Julius, his dreams is Julius’ dream, he wants to redeem himself for Julius first and foremost. He cares about Patri too, probably even more. He cherry-picks the magic knights with elfin souls for Patri, he commits treason and genocide and other awful crimes for Patri, and he keeps himself silent for years despite Patri’s clear danger (I mean he literally leads a terrorist group) to the kingdom because Patri always comes first. He cares only about two people and is only loyal to two people. For this reason he did not make any move until he found himself between two options, the best of which was bitter, so he gave up his responsibility and asked them to solve the matter, with his concern being only directed toward Patri and Julius, not the kingdom or his squad.

This makes him very selfish and ignorant and hypocritical in the sense that his priorities lie with his personal desires. He protects the kingdom while secretly helping terrorists, he leads the best squad and they idolize him but he doesn’t seem to keep an eye on them or is straight up being ignorant, “as long as this doesn’t harm our reputation it’s ok but don’t do it again" is the reaction I expect from William upon learning that Langris tried to kill civilians, and he doesn’t get any close dynamic with them or with his fellow captains. William also knew that he was doing a big mistake but didn’t stop, and it’s not that he “now” regrets his action, William always regretted his actions and saw them as sins since the very beginning, but again never stopped. He’s flawed to his core and I don’t get how people can see him any other way. This is why he’s one of the most interesting character in the series because I can see where he comes from.

Now all of this will make up for a great character, right. Well, nope. Unfortunately the story narrative failed to address his actions. He got little to no consequences. He didn’t even have to talk or show remorse, his inner thoughts were directed for Patri and Julius with no regard to the kingdom, and then when it’s the moment of his judgement Julius did all the talking and took some responsibility of William’s actions (sorry but why?) then gave him a second chance, then William cried and it was over and we moved to other things and, to quote my reaction when I read that part, What The Hell. This moment killed my interest in both William & Julius. There were so much that should be explored, like the captain reactions, the GD reactions, William’s inner thoughts because even if he’s a flawed person he isn’t a monster and I’m sure he has things to say and think about after the black bulls mess in the trial and y’know the kingdom getting destroyed--- *sighs*

Now back to the main topic, should all of this make William a classist person or not? It’s up to how you see his character. I see him as neither, or both depending on the situation. He’s so messed up with little focus so I can’t make up my mind on this topic. I think the “canon” wants you to see him as not, but his actions give you a different impression, so I don’t know. Man, he reminds me of Nozel, and I’m not fan of Nozel, but that’s a topic for another day.

OK this will be my last comment on this topic this is a black bulls blog damnit ask me stuff about them plz (jk lol), y’all are welcome to share your opinions through asks or reblogs but please spare me from the replies drama 😅

[redphlox]

“His shining light beckons the dark!”

Wow, okay, so when I first saw this panel in chapter 244 I kept wondering why Shouto was staring at Endeavor, but I couldn’t come up with an answer because I couldn’t see his facial expression. Though Shouto is physically near Hawks and his friends as they joke about Midoriya’s reputation and Bakugo’s competitive nature, he’s more concerned about Starservant, which is fair because he’s yelling that Endeavor’s light - the light everyone is referring to as a hope in All Might’s absence - will beckon darkness instead of fending it away. Starservant wasn’t making any sense and the story wrote him off as a person who’s not in touch with reality, so I thought maybe Shouto was just enjoying someone badmouthing his dad and taking him down a few pegs. But even that didn’t seem right...

But now, in the aftermath of Dabi’s reveal and his claims that he sent Starservant to fight Endeavor, and in addition to 298 showing us a flashback in which we see Shouto’s face as he was watching Endeavor in 244, everything makes sense to me now. Shouto was shocked in that scene, as if he agreed with Starservant’s statements that Endeavor’s light was corrupt. That’s a face that says, “Hmm? Starservant’s… not wrong about my dad, though.” 

After all, no one knew how crappy Endeavor was as a person outside of his hero work, and here Starservant is, seeing Endeavor for who he truly is and no one is questioning it. Looking back with what we now know, did Dabi tell Starservant specifically what Endeavor did to his family? Was Starservant’s prophecy something he himself foretold or something Dabi told him? Either way, what Starservant said is true - Endeavor becoming #1 (light) triggered Dabi to seek out his revenge (darkness). And I’m not saying that to demonize Dabi, but to acknowledge that the darkness within Dabi  stems from the abuse he endured from Endeavor. Starservant wasn’t wrong when he said, “He [Endeavor] is the root cause.” 

Shouto thinking back to this specific scene signifies that he acknowledges Dabi is a result of Endeavor’s abuse. It’s almost like he’s thinking, “That was a direct message from Touya-nii, a prophecy about the significance of our shitty old man becoming #1.” Shouto has a lot of empathy for Touya when he says “that was me.” He knows firsthand that hatred is an alienating feeling. He’s relating to Dabi and probably realizes that while he still has Rei, Fuyumi, Natsuo, and all of class 1A’s love and support, Dabi had and still has no one. He’s been alone “all this time.” Even with all this love Shouto receives, Shouto still harbors some of that hate toward Endeavor and it keeps coming up for him, so he’s imagining how lonely it must be for Touya. The thought that he has to be the one to break through that hatred to help Touya is probably a daunting one, and honestly, he shouldn’t have to be the one fixing an adult’s mistake but that highlights how much Endeavor cannot do to atone for what he’s done.

TLDR; Starservent, who was sent by Dabi, prophesied that Endeavor was “a light that beckons the dark” which is the opposite of what Japan wanted him to be: a light of hope in the absence of All Might. Shouto empathizes with Dabi’s self-destructive, self-loathing anger. Shouto has compassion for his brother; he’s not just seeing Dabi as a random villain - he’s literally seeing his old self and Endeavor in Dabi’s cold gaze, the same gaze that his mother became afraid of and caused her to burn him. Shouto still loved his mother unconditionally and wanted to save her because he understood she was reacting from her trauma when she poured boiling water on him - it’s fitting that Shouto would extend this same logic to Dabi. 

Endeavor shouldn’t have abused his family, and now the consequences are coming out and affecting not only the Todoroki family but also outsiders.

[theravenclawrevolutionary]

i'm not a frev expert. and you seem to be approchable enough and to have read enough. i had a question, or kind of a question. i just. i think that if robespierre wasn't against all the deaths by guillotine, he wouldn't have written that quote about virtue and terror. maybe i'm getting you wrong, or i'm not understanding the sense of that quote. could you explain?

Oh dang. I'm kinda surprised that people think I have any real authority on the subject of the Frev since I'm not an actual historian or anything and I'm surprised people find me approachable but of course I'll try my best for you Anon! And if anyone else has a better interpretation or anything else to add please, go ahead. I'll also try my best to keep it in as simple language as I can. But I digress.

⚠ This post is quite long so be prepared for that ⚠

First of all, Robespierre has more than one quote talking about terror and virtue. I'm assuming that you're thinking of the one that goes, "Terror is only justice: prompt, severe and inflexible; it is then an emanation of virtue; it is less a distinct principle than a natural consequence of the general principle of democracy, applied to the most pressing wants of the country." since that is the most common one. However, if you're talking about the one that goes "Terror is only justice: prompt, severe and inflexible; it is then an emanation of virtue; it is less a distinct principle than a natural consequence of the general principle of democracy, applied to the most pressing wants of the country." Let me know and I'll write about that one. The former is definitely a quote that, in my experience studying the Frev, gets misinterpreted from what it was originally meant to say fairly often.

To start with, it's very important to know what connotation and definition the words 'virtue' and 'terror' had in revolution-era France. Modern-day definitions may not be the same ones that were used in the past. According to my research, which of course isn't infallible, virtue was used to refer to someone's disposition and the way it would lead them to choose good over evil whereas where terror was seen simply as great fear. At the time there was no connotation of our modern-day terrorism to associate with the word. Nowadays we associate terror with terrorism which brings to mind murder, mindless destruction, oppression, and unchecked authority in which someone's ideals are forced upon large groups of people. Because of this many people assume that this is what Robespierre had in mind when he referenced terror when really he meant to describe the use of intimidation tactics to seize power from those who oppressed the lower class people and the general fear that was felt by the commoners.

Essentially the Reign of Terror meant 'a time period where everyone felt a sh*t load of Fear over all the bad stuff happening at once while the regular people try to overthrow the oppressive ruling class with intimidation tactics.' It does not mean 'a time period where loads of people were purposely committing widespread acts of terrorism to push their agendas'. And really, it was the only way to give everyone the chance to get rid of the old government, the monarchy, and allow a fair democracy that would be beneficial to the future of France to be built.

Next, it's important to know the context in which this quote was originally said. The speech where Robespierre said it took place on Feb 5th (?) of 1794. By this point, the revolution has been well underway for several long years and, as I said, a lot of sucky things are happening at the same time. The republic was in a war with a massive part of Europe and they're kinda getting curb-stomped. The country is in a state of civil war between the people that still supported the monarchy and all the different groups that had different views of how the country should be run. France's economy was complete sh*t too, so all this really radicalized the people and made the whole revolution situation so much worse than it already was.

At the time there were two factions, so to say, in the National Convention that were hella pissed at each other and really at odds. the Hébertists (who, to make things easy, wanted to escalate the Terror, go on the offensive with the military, and the overthrow and replace some of the existing government structures at the time) and the Dantonists (who wanted to sorta get rid of the revolutionary government, negotiate for peace in the war, and chill out on the whole Terror thing). And remember that these groups of people were very loose and like people in today's politic didn't agree with every stance their 'faction' took.

By the time Max made this speech, which was addressing these two groups, the situation between them was escalated big time. The Hébertists, with their views of 'more terror all over! That'll help us win everything,' or 'terror without virtue,' were pushing for a system that would quickly prove fatal. By contrast, the Dantonists with their, 'we just need to kinda chill and things will work out,' way of thinking or 'virtue without terror', would only lead to them (and the rest of the country) getting walked over by everyone else.

Throughout the entire speech, a speech I haven't recently read all the way through, Max comes back to the idea of terror and virtue, stressing that both are necessary. What I think he meant to do was talk about how the revolution couldn't survive without both terror (fear and the aggression that causes it) and virtue (the choice of good over evil) being applied. He's trying to explain to both groups that a little bit of both ideals is the most beneficial way to go about things. In reality, it has nothing to do with whether he personally believed in or advocated the death penalty/ the use of the guillotine. Instead, Robespierre is emphasizing that at that particular moment in time doing what is right and good (virtue) will most likely end up causing some bad things that will make people afraid for a while (terror).

What Robespierre is not saying is that terror, and by extension the violence that is causing the terror is virtuous. There are several easy-to-find sources that prove his personal disapproval of the death penalty from a moral standpoint. As a young lawyer in his hometown in Arras, he became physically ill at the idea of having one of his clients sentenced to death, even though he was found guilty of the crime he was on trial for. He made a speech agreeing with the abolition of the death penalty on May 30th of 1791 (?) arguing that there is no place for the death penalty in a civilized society because the law needs to be a model of what is good. He attempted to save the lives of Georges Danton and Camille Desmoulins, two friends/coworkers that he is commonly charged with sending to their deaths when the opposite is actually true. Additionally, he did the same with other more controversial people including the king's sister of all people, Madame Elisabeth. Even when voting for the death of the king he reiterates his own opinion on the death penalty saying, "For myself, I abhor the penalty of death that your law so liberally imposes, and I have neither love nor hatred for the King; it is only the crimes that I hate…. It is with regret that I utter this baneful truth…Louis must die in order that our country may live." Though it conflicts with his personal views, Robespierre makes the decision based on the needs of France as a country, something that many politicians need to relearn how to do today.

Long story short, he was not supporting the use of the guillotine with that quote, but rather trying to get two opposing factions to realize that both intimidation/fear and making sound, beneficial decisions would keep France on the right track to building a successful democracy for the people. Hopefully this helped and I explained it in a way that was easy for you to understand. If you ever have any more Frev related questions feel free to ask and I'll do my best to answer or I'll send you in the direction of someone else more knowledgeable if I don't know.

Also, can someone tell me if I did a good job of explaining this? I can never tell if things I write about the Frev make sense to me because I actually know exactly what I mean to say so everyone else kinda goes along with it or if I actually say helpful things of substance. Thanks guys! And if anyone else knows more about the subject or if I've made a mistake please help me out.

~Dara

[creacherkeeper]

im getting a little too in my family feels today and so INSTEAD of feeling those im just going to ramble for a second about why i fucking love paladin!aelwyn because. im. just like this i guess im coping leave me alone

cw for discussions of child abuse, maladaptive coping, drugs and alcohol, self harm, destructive tendencies, basically everything we see in canon and the implications

aelwyn is ... SO interesting to me because for as much of her interiority as we see, as much of her as we think we understand, as much as i could ramble about her character for hours, we know ALMOST NOTHING about her in actuality?? (besides ... one key thing)

(this is like 2k and probably incoherent someone please stop me)

okay. listen. almost everything we see aelwyn do in s1 is maladaptive rebellion against her parents and home life. the drinking, the drugs, the partying, perhaps some of kalvaxus (though i dont think we fully understand how much of that was forced on her as well, kalina WAS watching her when she was talking to adaine about it). you can say like, oh aelwyn is a party animal, she's impulsive, she makes risky decisions, she's bitchy and rude, and its like. okay but IS SHE ACTUALLY. because under her parents thumb she had an EXTREMELY limited amount of freedom, and usually when people are suffering from very little control over their life, they WILL act destructively over the tiny bit they can, either harming themselves or their environment or people lower than them in the pecking order, because in a way, that feels like a reclamation of autonomy. saying "you have so much power over me but can you stop me from hurting myself and destroying what you havent managed to claim yet?". its just like, kind of what human brains do and frequently has little to do with a persons actual personality or impulses, its just. desperate brains trying to control SOMETHING because autonomy is a fundamental human need and when thats taken away we get. very bad off. (this is one big reason eating disorders are SO common with abused kids.) so i think a lot of the s1 aelwyn we see is like. this is a very desperate, abused teenager "acting out" in the only way it is possibly somewhat safe for her to do so because, on a psychological level, the self destruction is weirdly the only emotional tether and its either this or just dissociate all the time (something we do see she has problems with in canon)

and yes, she did treat adaine horribly in s1. she fully did. obviously what we get in canon is what happens but a moment thats interesting to me is in episode 1 where adaine has attacked aelwyn several times, who either does nothing or just bounces it back, when she says "i never cast spells at you" and siobhan immediately retcons it and says "yes you do, all the time" (i havent gone back and watched this bit so i might be wording this wrong). obviously its an improv show and the canon is built between performers as they go, but that was interesting to me. that brennan hadnt intended for her to have fought back in that way. she definitely feeds into the emotional abuse from their parents and participates in all the toxicity there, but we know in canon that she did that because of overwhelming fear and self preservation. and that her self hatred because of it just fed back into the cycle and made her feel like she wasnt good enough to even try to break free from it. this is very common in golden child/scapegoat sibling relationships where the golden child SEES what the parents are capable of and becomes a participant in the abuse out of fear for their own standing. in any way siding with the scapegoat child not only directs abuse at themselves as well, but frequently makes things WORSE for the scapegoat because the parents will take out the challenge to their power on them even more. so, if aelwyn DID ever try to defend or help adaine when they were small, she would have VERY QUICKLY learned that made things worse for everyone. and just. sectioned that part of her brain off, as she's done with so many other things. (and i dont think im reading too much into the forest scene with the abernants to say their parents were VERY QUICK to turn abuse towards aelwyn if she stepped out of line even a little. like, you dont flinch when a hand moves unless. you know. dont need to say it just something to think about. as far as we saw in canon, she had done everything they asked of her leading up to the forest, and we DONT KNOW what happened in it but we do know brennan specifically called out how in broken spirits she was when adaine was summoned, even though they did the ritual to avoid all of the nightmare bullshit)

(the house party is literally a whole separate post but i think its fair to point out that 1) she was super under the influence when that was happening which DEFINITELY is in no way an excuse for her behavior but worth remembering when trying to analyze that 2) her losing that fight did canonically have DRASTIC consequences for her and even if she didnt know exactly how that was going to turn out, i think she knew how bad it might be. and she did not know adaine or any of the bad kids were going to be there in the first place)

all that said, it feels in some ways counterproductive to say that aelwyn is an extremely devoted and protective person (yes we're getting to the paladin shit i know i've been rambling a while) but i think that thats strangely ALL WE ACTUALLY KNOW ABOUT HER. because we've established that her self-destructive and abusive behavior in s1 is almost entirely psychologically scripted for her by her parents, we dont know how much of her villain shit in s1 was LITERALLY UNDER THREAT OF DEATH because we know at least killing the oracle was and we dont know how much of the rest of it was mandated by either her parents or kalina other than that she probably was under orders not to tell adaine the truth, and we know participating in all of this caused extreme self loathing in her that she refused to show to anybody and was too terrified to act on in any way

so, like. what does that actually leave us?

here's what we do know about aelwyn:

- of all the schools of magic, she went into abjuration

- the entire bbeg plan from season 1 hinged on aelwyn's complete faith that her level 1 sister was the most prodigious diviner in the world

- right after (?) the house party, she locked her memories where only adaine could find it with a note basically saying "theres so much bad blood between us but i know only you could find this"

- she desperately wanted to protect adaine and the fact that she was too afraid to do so made her hate herself (and her knowing that adaine now knows this is the turning point in their relationship)

- despite everything, even in the nmk forest, she still loved her parents

- the SECOND she is shown genuine love and affection and care from adaine, and adaine says whatever you do, i am here with you, all her actions from there forward are just about protecting adaine from their father, very nearly at the cost of her own life

- with what she probably thought were her last words (and would have been if adaine hadnt given her the tincture), all she wanted to communicate was how to help adaine and the bad kids, and how despite everything she had always believed in her

- at five levels of exhaustion, unconscious, she used her first spell slot after nine months of torture to build a shield around adaine

NOW we get to paladin!aelwyn. because, once everything is stripped away, the abuse and the control and the maladaption and the threats and the torture, EVERYTHING we ACTUALLY can glean about aelwyn's personality and inner core is that she's protective and devoted. and of course classes arent locked by personality, but that just screams paladin to me. its her WHOLE THING. adaine even says "wizards dont have heals, we dont care about other people" and of COURSE that isnt true for either of them, but? mechanically? aelwyn chose the wizard school that DID let her protect, and DID let her help, but i dont think, at this point, going forward, thats really going to be enough for her (and we could also talk about the parallels between them, how often adaine uses her portents to help other people)

i think a lot of the different reads on aelwyn come from this fundamental disconnect between her actions and displayed personality vs who she actually is and what she actually wants. and i think there are very different interpretations of what thats going to look like for her going forward. but i think, for a girl who's most hated characteristic about herself was her self preservation at the detriment of others, her perceived selfishness, and her fear ... isn't choosing to be braver and more selfless and more protective and shedding that self-preserving instinct for the betterment of others ... and MECHANICALLY being able to act on all those things ... the logical next step? i think its going to be a LONG TIME before aelwyn can love herself, but what other way is there to try? if adaine loves her, and adaine believes she can be better, isnt being better because she trusts adaine kind of a form of self love? saying, i dont believe in myself, but i believe in the person who believes in me, and maybe, in a roundabout way, thats the same thing. she was never able to TRY to be better before, because trying to improve even a little, even when people arent watching, when a harmful force has so much power over you and your actions ... like, the mental dissonance is honestly TOO much to even try, thats WAY more terrifying than letting yourself be bad, to the point where thats psychologically impossible for a lot of people. but now she actually has space and freedom and CHOICE and she CAN embrace the instincts she always had to shove down, she CAN be the person she knows her sister needed her to be

i dont know, i think theres an inherent love letter to yourself in wanting to be better and wanting to improve, even if you justify it by saying its for someone else. and now aelwyn actually CAN improve, and thats probably going to be extremely awkward and scary and there will be set backs and backslides for sure. but. i dont know. i think she wants to make up for lost time. because she never wanted the time to be lost in the first place. and if a protector is who she always wanted to be, whats stopping her from being that now?

[marianne-dash-wood]

all the ashes in my wake

so this was absoloutely inspired by @chrysalizzm‘s amazing fic you’re human tonight which has got to be one of my new faviroute fics ever, and well, it started off because I couldn’t stop thinking about the consequences of settling, and it turned into rough and stream-of-conciousness Wil character study. Because I’m me. This is just my interpretation of events, and I look forward to seeing exactly how this is handled in fic canon because, ugh, just, this fic is so good. The prose is incredible and I adore it. 

In the end, it is easier to pretend that he has always been hateful. What good did he do, really, apart from create war and horror and pain, what he did he do other than inspire traitors and stand by and watch as his baby brother is killed in a duel he could have stopped. 

It starts small, in all the ways that don’t matter. It starts in the mirror of his bedroom at home, as his siblings thunder up and down the stairs and arguments ring out over the state of the bathroom, who was supposed to do the dishes and missing hair brushes. It starts when he watches his father leave for his trips that take him so far away, and he is the one in charge of the home. It’s a happy childhood. It is also a damaging one. (Parents don’t often believe that those two can exist together, but they do).

(Phil would rather forget, keep hold of the good memories and only the good memories, and ignore the days where his children would have arguments that turned into fights, where mealtimes were icy silences and his children learned where on the table to sit to avoid conflict. He only wants to remember the good, and honestly, who can blame him? His sons learned well).

It stays small, as he hops from world to world with his brothers at his side, sometimes all, sometimes only one, but never alone. It stays small when he first arrives in the huge land of idyllic green grass and crystal blue oceans, and he could spend weeks singing the world anew, this world made with love, for love. 

It grows, when they take the directive, “Just carve yourselves out a home,” a little too seriously, and suddenly the dominos are falling, and war is declared, and the small cruel thing in Wilbur’s heart blossoms under the attention. 

There is a part of him that still, still rejects that. It was a game, until it wasn’t. (He forgets that, forgotten in the blindsiding of betrayal and the overwhelming joy of victory). It wasn’t supposed to be about glory, or even independence or justice, these lofty ideals he grew up with. It was supposed to be about his family, about keeping his family safe (Because he will always be a big brother and he will always protect them, as he was raised to do so and that will both doom him and save him).

One day, Niki asked him why they kept doing this (why, when it was just a game), and his brother answered for him, because they have always known each other inside out (until they don’t), “Because Wil’s a stubborn bastard and he never lets anything go, I should know, I broke his guitar once and he still hasn’t forgiven me,” and the truth is buried under the subsequent bickering but it’s true. 

Will has always swallowed his anger; on occasion, he lets it out through melody but always to an audience of ghosts. He always swallowed his anger, and it burns (it keeps him alive, all those long winter nights when it his brothers were asleep and his father was gone), it burns and it keeps him moving and he douses it in smiles and love and flowers, and it stays a small ember, and he does not feed the fire. 

He forgets too, that it was a game, until it wasn’t, and it was a game because they are children, all of them, and his father would tell him that two decades is barely adulthood, and yes his brothers are younger but he is still young, so young to be commanding an army, commanding a nation. 

His fire keeps the others beside him; they listen as he shapes words and speeches and songs and they blaze with revolution and righteousness and their bonds burn bright in the face of overwhelming odds. 

It sparks in the election, it sparks on the final day, and in a moment, it feels like cold water is dumped over his head. 

And then there is pain, and there is hurt, and there is that fire, and it bites and snaps at him as he climbs out of his respawn point only to flee from the country he built with his own fucking hands. 

His lungs burn but it is better than the waves of grief and betrayal and fear that take hold of him when he does not allow the blaze to grow; grief for that beautiful flag, razed to the ground, betrayal from all who had once stood by him, believed in him, told him they were his friend and fear, fear because maybe this would have been alright if it had only been him but now his brother has been stripped of his home and his nation and he is just as much in danger as he is. 

Wil’s always been once for revenge. He has always retaliated. But that was back when he was raised on fair play and justice and he was on the same level as his brothers. He is powerless (powerless to protect, powerless to help, not his brother, not his friends, not his nation,) and there is nothing, not a single fucking thing he can do. 

It is easier to fan the flame, easier to list and list and list every single person that still was had once been his friend. It is easier to swallow the flame, let it fill him up because if he stopped to think about it then he would drown in how fucking terrified he is. (Is he consuming it, or is it consuming him?)

It is easier to snap, to throw his fists fruitlessly against stone, to belittle his brother, to blame the world above, than it is to admit that he is terrified. It is easier to do this than to realise that he failed.

(“Can you keep them safe, Wil? Can you do that for me?”

“Yes, dad,” Are you proud of me yet, are you, I’m not a fighter, I’m not a warrior, I’m just me but I’ll protect them, but are you proud of me?

“Good boy,”)

A kingdom built in a rocky ravine (empires have been built on less), and he has nothing except one brother who is under the thumb of the selfsame man who banished them, and another brother who looks at him like he doesn’t recognise him.

It sets off waves of paranoia, sleepless nights as he runs through every interaction he has ever had with every friend he has ever had and tries to work out at which point they started to hate him. 

He has nothing. They took it all from him, his home, his family, his safety. He has nothing at all. 

There is a man (?) in front of him in this cavern, this fall from grace and this man, this friend, this foe, reaches for him and pulls and Wil-

Wil has nothing but his fire, nothing but his hatred and rage, and if it goes he goes, if the warmth is pulled from him then he will be numb and have nothing at all, they have taken everything from him and now they want to take the only thing keeping him alive, keeping his heart beating, get out, get out, get out, he had lost everything but this was his, it was his and no one could take it from him -

He laughs as the man (enemy, saviour, foe, friend, wait, please, help me-) staggers back, and his smile cracks into a million pieces as he watches his brother realise, in steps so slow they might as well be a funeral march, that this is exactly who he is, who he always has been. 

In the end, it is easier to pretend that he is, and always has been, hateful. But what happens when suddenly he is not?

(there’s a story here, a girl destroying her sister’s words because children are hateful and spiteful and they do not think though the things they do, there is a story here about children destroying the things they love because they cannot fathom anyone taking them from them, there is a story here about learning to share. There is a story here about how selfishness isn't always bad, but how it always consumes.)

He burns. He burns and watches his brother flinch away as if his touch is flame itself. He burns as he spits and swears and rages that they will pay, they will all pay, the match shaking in his hands as he places the TNT and it sings to him as he once sang to the world, a crooning hymnal of destruction.

To make others feel as you do. The most human thing of all. He was always good at it; songs to words, he always knew what to say to make you feel how he wanted you to feel. This was both a good thing (words to revolution, words that lead armies and inspired countries) and a bad thing (sharp digs under your skin that bury themselves too deep, knowing exactly where to poke to make it really and truly hurt,). And right now, swallowing all the pain and hurt and fear is anger and hatred, and that is all that Wil feels.

He has always been the heart, but he thinks now that his heart is too charred to beat, that all that is left is ashes, and so it is easier to let that fire sweep over him and immolate him alive and let them all feel that agony, than it is to try and construct a person when nothing beside remains. 

He dreams of fire, and there is ash and blood in his mouth when he wakes, shivering and shaking, and he doesn’t feel entirely human anymore. Maybe he never was. Maybe the moment the arrow pierced his heart as he fled his homeland, he has been nothing but a walking corpse. 

He doesn’t sleep much anymore, but between every blink there is a vision of red and orange, a sunset of destruction, and they are destroying his country brick by brick and they can’t even do destruction right, they can’t even make a martyr properly, they’re puppets and he will burn the strings, he will burn their wooden hollowness and the fire will leave his chest and he will be free-

It hurts; he feels like a sinner, ash and sackcloth and all, pulling at his hair as he realises that no one will help him, save his enemy, not a single one of them helped him when he needed it the most, not even after he laid down his life for them, not even when he had to watch his little brother bleed out in a control room for their freedom, not a single fucking one of them.

The atmosphere at the festival is an explosion ready for a match, a panic attack waiting to be triggered, that hitch of breath before it all spirals out of control, and he doesn’t know when he decided to die, but he knows that he decided that living was far too painful to continue. (And he promised to keep his brothers safe and look, look at where that has led them, surely they would all just be happier if they were dead)

(That’s not true, there’s a voice in the back of his mind, echoing and drifting like the final snowfall, made up of all the tears he never shed, and that voice sounds like his brother but it’s all him, and the fire eats it up, conscience and all)

But then the atmosphere settles, and no, that monster may have taken his nation, his brothers, every single friend he has ever had but he will not, he will not take Wil’s rage, the only thing keeping him upright.

(It has consumed you, and the voice is barely anything now, the faintest memory of the person he might once had been, it has taken all that you love and it has swallowed it whole and it will take you too, it is a rotting stinking thing and you let it in because you were afraid to be numb, because it is easier to burn alive to keep the people you love warm than it is to build a fire, because it is easier to hate than it is to grieve)

There is a cool touch to his face, and it is the first break in the flames that he has felt in weeks, and he -

Imagine coming back to live in a home after a fire. A fire so devastating that there is nothing but ash and charcoal and soot clinging to the walls, there is only a skeleton where there was once a home. A fire that gouged itself on the happiness that once found a home there, and turned this place hollow, once hallowed to cursed.

The next time he is aware of himself, a breath has stuttered in his chest, his chest where there is only a gentle warmth, and the flames are there but they are comforting, they are the kind that he used to roast marshmallows with, they are the kind that ask him, gently, to pick up his guitar and to sing. Wil no longer burns, but he is hollow, and he gasps, and for the first time, he does not inhale smoke. 

His knees give out, and they both go down, because everything that had kept him going was gone, and he was empty, and the mist of numb terror and grief would be descending upon him at any moment, only there is someone screaming and he cannot escape into the echoing expanse of his mind.

There are hands on him and around him, and he is grateful for the warmth because he is so cold now, so cold without the inferno inside him, and he cannot breathe without it, he cannot live without it, why would he take it from him, he needs it, he needs it.

He needs it until his chest moves of its own accord, and he blinks in the sunlight and he can hear his brothers shouting his name and someone is still screaming and there are so many voices it hurts but he opens his eyes anyway, and pulls the disparate pieces of who he once had been into mismatch of a human being. 

He didn’t need the fire. He didn’t need it. But he still ached for it, ached in the hollow empty way, a hurt scorched deep into his charred bones. 

He aches for it, but his brothers fit into his arms and into his side and he would not trade the smiles on their faces or their tears of relief for a single moment. He aches for it, but they fit together like a missing puzzle piece, like coming home.

(The world is fixed. This is a miracle. There are dozens of worlds where this isn’t the case, where the fire swallows him inside and out, where the only thing that finally douses the flames is a sword between his ribs. They’ve been saved, and once his mind can work again, he wants to repay that favour in any way he can.)

The word madness is bitter in his throat, and he flinches when the others mention it, like they could divide that part of him away from their brother, from the person they really love. He doesn’t want to forget that he was the one that stoked the flames in the first place, he can’t and shouldn’t forget that they were his flames in the first place, and he can still feel their embers, because fires like his never really go away. 

He shouldn’t forget, either, that he is not the only one that controls this. Not on a literal level, having weird extra powers as a minor god level, though he suspects that might help in the future, but in a sappy as shit, friendship is a power unto itself kind of way. 

Even hollow, even empty, it gives him the clarity that he could not see through smoke and flames. The world pulled back into focus when the firestorm was plucked, hook line and sinker from his head, and all he could see… all he could see were his friends. His family.

The people he loved so much that he built a nation for them. (Oh, how alike he and his saviour are)

In the end, (and what an oxymoron, because life continues always, past endings, past saving, past heartbreak and joy and love and loss), in the end, there is a flame in his chest. It is not anger, or hatred or pain, it simply is. It flares when his brothers steal his things or pull him into their shenenigians, and it flares when that idiot of a goat president won’t stop being a fucking irrtating piece of shit (because, as always, somethings never change), and it flares when he helps out in the bakery and flour hangs in the air like snow, and it flares when he looks to his father and wonders if he is proud of him yet (yes, yes, yes, always, always, Wil, always). 

In the end, a fire is not fed on hatred alone, and it hungers in a way that makes Wil throw open his curtains everyday and run headlong into another adventure, rather than waking up with ash in his throat and smoke in his lungs. 

And if Wil gets used to the ache, he always knows where, and who to go to. 

[patchofsunlight]

Thoughts on jet as a character?

oh lots of thoughts. lots of thoughts on Jet.

first things first: we must understand Jet is a child. He’s as old as Sokka, maybe as old as Zuko, and he’s a child whose life has been ruined by the Fire Nation. I don’t believe he actually understood what flooding that village meant, he understood only what it represented — the Fire Nation and its soldiers took everything away from him, and they deserved to pay. He wasn’t considering the death of innocents, he was considering the revenge on those who hurt him, and that’s fair. That’s a fair path of thinking, specially for a child that doesn’t have any good adult role models to teach him what is justice and what isn’t.

and now we go to the second thing: Jet doesn’t have anyone. The Freedom Fighters are everything he has, and he built them on his own. He doesn’t have parents to tell him that revenge isn’t the answer, he doesn’t have an adult to help him overcome his feelings of hatred and pain. Jet is a child alone with other children and, to him, it makes absolute sense to kill a bunch of people so that he can hurt some random Fire Soldiers. Why, tho? Because that’s all he knows — his family was killed, he lost everything. I don’t think Jet knows that there’s other way to deal with things like this. He has only known violence, so that’s what he produces, and it makes sense, it really does. Jet is a direct result of colonization and violence as it is: he was stripped off the things he could call his own (family, home, friends) and left with pain, no healthy role model to follow, no other option to recurr to.

Jet is reproducing the hurt that was inflicted upon him because he doesn’t know any better. He is reproducing the hurt that was inflicted upon him because he doesn’t know anything else.

does that mean he was right? no, he wasn’t, he definitely wasn’t. Violence isn’t excusable regardless of motive, but Jet’s whole existence and actions aren’t his fault. The Fire Nation produced Jet, in a way — they broke him and left him to fend for himself without help or explanation, and it birthed in his heart a different type of violence, it birthed in his heart the craving for revenge, for atonement. The Fire Nation needs to pay, and the only way he knows how to make them pay is to make them hurt (because he is an emotionally and psychologically damaged child that never had contact with anything but this kind of pain), and the only way he knows how to make them hurt is to do to them what they did to him. The Freedom Fighters think they’re achieving justice because they don’t understand what not being damaged by injustice means, and that’s not their fault. The Fire Nation did this, not Jet. 

Jet is a direct result of Fire Nation’s actions. It’s sad because it destroyed and eventually killed a child, and a good one at that, since Jet tried to grow and evolve and leave his years and ways of reproducing violence behind. He moved to Ba Sing Se alongside some of his companions because he wanted better, he wanted to break the chain, and it seems like he understood killing innocents wasn’t the right way to do things. I wish we could’ve seen more of his character development, because I personally think it must’ve been absolutely incredible —  the change in Jet when we see him again in Ba Sing Se is astronomical and so, so worthy of praise and pride. He grew very much and I believe he was truly ready to be better, bigger, greater. Jet was obviously a natural leader and he could’ve become so, so, so much.

going crazy because of Zuko and Iroh is understandable. He wanted to change, but being so close to the roots of his hurt and wrong decisions obviously made him lose it a little bit. I truly believe he would’ve gotten over it eventually, but it was logical for Jet to fall into his old habits again after he saw Iroh firebend. He was deeply hurt by the Fire Nation and probably still internally believed they had to pay, and seeing a firebender living happily in Ba Sing Se, the place where those who have been hurt by the Fire Nation go to live a better life, must’ve made him feel even more wronged than before. Yes, Iroh and Zuko had been hurt by the Fire Nation too, however Jet had no way to know that. In his eyes, they were two firebenders infiltrating an Earth Kingdom safe heaven, and he wouldn’t have it. He couldn’t let that happen without even trying to stop it.

I admit I was really sad when he died. Jet, as a character, means a lot to me. He had his life ruined and tried to ruin other people’s lives because he didn’t know any better, but he grew and left all that behind in search of peace and happiness. However, his pain catched up to him, and, when he finally thought he would be able to forget it, he was hurt again. Worse: he was killed by the ones supposed to protect him, by the Dai Li. To be honest, the Dai Li were not that different to Jet himself — they reproduced the violence initiated by the Fire Nation, they were corrupted and evil. However, the Dai Li were supposed to take care of their citizens, they were supposed to do better, be better.

Jet was a child that had no one. Jet was a child who learned to fight because he had nothing else. Jet was a child that did everything in his power to make sure things would be better and failed because he lived in an unjust, uncapable world. Jet was the consequence of evil, corruption, and colonization. Jet was wrong, yes, but was he really? Was he wrong for wanting someone to be held responsible for the horrors the Fire Nation caused? Was he wrong for trying to fix a society that lived without happiness, without fairness, without decency, without honor? Was he wrong, really? 

Jet tried to be good. Jet really, really tried, but the world didn’t let him, and there was nothing he could do about it.

[maddiicake]

Why Both FMAB and FMA03 are good and should be treated as Independent Stories:

I will go on the record of saying that Appreciate and Love FMA as a whole and love both series for what they are. And while it may sound like a broken record saying things like this... there’s still hateful words against those who like one over the other. So, I’m here to make this post addressing that both FMA2003/03 and Brotherhood are great in their own way and should be respected as their own individual stories.

Also warning there will be obvious spoilers.

What I liked about the Original (FMA03/2003) Series:

I watched 03 before delving into Brotherhood, and even before reading the manga. Now, I know Brotherhood and Manga fans are the small minority of the fandom, while 03/2003 fans make up the majority. That being said, many of these people simply can't get used to 03 after watching Brotherhood.

However, for me, I was happy because: A) I got more FMA to watch, and B) The differences in 03/2003 simply made it even more fun to watch, so for it was no trouble getting used to this anime.

But if I were to be specific of what I liked, I’d say I liked the following about FMA03/2003:

Characterization of the Protagonists and all the 'good' guys: The show heavily focuses on the relationship and tragedy of Elric Brothers, and 03/2003 portrays it much better with such a deeper level. The relationship between both brothers is intimate, and it feels like a genuine sibling bond. I also enjoy the fact that the anime shows that even if Ed follows his ideals, he, like any human, can break away from them under severe pressure, which was beautifully shown in the 5th laboratory arc. As for other characters: Scar in this version is a total opposite of his Brotherhood counterpart. He is written realistically in the 2003/03 anime. His absolute hatred for the military is more legit, and he feels morally grey in this anime. Izumi Curtis for me was also portrayed better in this version. Meanwhile, other Characters like Roy, Winry and Alex felt the same to me throughout both versions--so, not much change there.

Worldbuilding: The 2003/03 anime does a fantastic job at portraying the widespread effects of war and politics, Alchemy, etc. and how it has affected the people of the FMA World. For example, in Episode 16, “That Which is Lost”, Ed meet, a guy who had lost his limb while working as a soldier and was reluctant to use an automail prostetic because he wanted to “retain his wound”. Now, this episode itself was more so filler and didn’t really matter to the main plot of the story in itself; however, I feel that it was added to series to portray the depth of the FMA World, and how everyone has different reactions to the events that happened in the 2003/03 anime. Also, many of the events and how they unfold in this anime seem to parallel the middle east, which just makes all this feel realistic and provides some occasional social commentary which is quite nice. I also like how the first few episodes take their time to slowly and, with great subtlety, develop their world.

Thematic Depth: FMA2003/03 is dark, grim and kind of realistic--more so compared to Brotherhood. While, both versions of the anime deal with some important and mature themes, FMA2003/03 takes it to the next level. The 2003/03 series focuses on the Law of Equivalent Exchange, and shows how putting blind trust in it is a terrible thing to do. The show also focuses on how obsession, a denial of reality, and the inability to move on can be a bad thing. Moreover, sometimes life just simply isn't fair, and we should accept it; however, always try to improve what we have. All in all, we have to understand the consequences of our actions. That life is uncertain, and sometimes we don't get everything, and even we pay a price for it. All of these themes mixed in with the meaningful dialogues and the dark tone, made me appreciate this anime. For example, in episode 48, when Roy and Ed talk for the last time, that’s the pivotal point that brings all these themes together.

A Good Start: The Show had a better start than Brotherhood, simply because 1). We have more time with Maes Hughes and Shou Tucker, and 2). The Liore arc. Despite BONES studio and it’s tendency to create anime too early *when the mangaka is barely halfway through their series), they made it work, and, with the material they had, the 2003/03 series was given enough time to bloom. The 2003/03 series was simply immersive and very emotional, especially during The Curtis Arc, as an example.

Soundtrack and The Art Direction: I feel like both are equally good. However, I will go on the record of saying that I don’t think “art style” is what makes a series, nor is it an important factor. It’s nothing more than glorified “eye candy” However, for the sake of argument (especially since the “art style” is the first thing that “03 Stans” mention) I’ll be adding it in here. Both the 2003/03 and Brotherhood series have some amazing and beautiful orchestral OSTs in their respective soundtracks; thus, it added to the immersion of their respective series. In FMA2003/03, the color palette is very unique, sometimes it feels dull but it just suits the dark tone of the series.

All in all, I am impressed by a lot of aspects of the 2003/03 anime series, but as much I love and respect it, there are lot of things this anime messed up and I will note that as well.

The antagonists were... Meh: While I really love and enjoy the direction and depth BONES Studio added to the Homunculi... some of the other antagonists could have been better (or just not added at all imo). For example, Frank Archer... he has no reason being there except for convenient plot device to the point it feels forced. Though, him becoming that weird cyborg always makes me laugh just because of how dumb of a character he became because of it. Speaking of which, him becoming a cyborg was just... weird. It was like the Studio staff were trying to make him “cool” by making him into some crossover of The Terminator and Two-Face from Batman, but it just failed. As for Zolf Kimblee... He is still sadistic and likes making things explode, much like his Brotherhood Counterpart. But... that was it. Other than that, he was just boring. Him and Archer were both just the staple 90s Kids Cartoon Villains; not much to them except “Muahahaha I’m evil”. Now Dante... I’d say that she’s a good villain to an extent. Her as a villain is very subjective within the fandom, depending on who you ask. While I believe that she could have been just as great a villain as Father, her character was rushed and her goals were a bit vague and unexplored. I like how, like with Father, she had ties Hohenheim; however, that backstory and those connections were introduced a little late. So, in the end, she just came across as more of the generic Vindictive Ex-Wife, and just a generic female villain. As for the Homunculi... I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: I LOVED their portrayal in 2003/03. They were the “saving grace” of the entire team of the villains within the 2003/03 series. My favorite of the bunch were Lust and Greed--namely Lust, because of her ties with Scar. Envy came at a close second, but only seemed so because of a way to back up Dante as a villain, and the other Homunculi seemed a bit more underdeveloped as characters. 

The Plot's quality drops after episode 35- Okay don't get me wrong. The first 35 episodes for me were 100/100. After that? a 60/100. Why? Because everything after that point feels contrived and feels forced. It's as tho, they are trying to do everything they can, even if it doesn't weave in, to make the brother's life miserable. Archer doesn't die and pops up, with his automail? Alphonse is there to be turned into a bomb, and become a philosophers stone. Okay, but why does this feel so forced? Also, can we talk about Nazi Shit? Now, I feel the brothers being separated is the perfect ending to this anime thematically and I have nothing against it, but A Nazi gate? Why? It was so sudden and pointless. It was never foreshadowed. They just showed it to make it as tragic as possible, because they didn't know of any other way to twist the plot, without convenient and totally forced plot devices. Also, How can Dante make Gluttony Mindless? Why is Juliet Douglass's Secret so obvious, when it can be fatal if leaked? Plot- Holes, Also, why are the Homunculli named the way they are? It just doesn't make sense. Also, FMA's Plot has an air of mystery to it, but it doesn't execute properly. I don't hate the end, I just felt disappointed, because the buildup towards it was terrible.

Now, I give a bit of grace concerning how the plot sort of dropped off and felt rushed halfway through, as well as the characters being underdeveloped and rushed. After all, Studio Bones was making up the majority of the material and took it in their own direction. Some factors to all of these cons in FMA2003/03 could be because of the Studio’s lack of a budget to flesh the characters and plot out more. Or, they had created so much additional material for this series that it became overwhelming.

As a writer, I can attest to the fact that “Character Overload” or��“Element Overload” can either make or break a series, depending on how you handle it. That being said, there need to be a balance when it comes to these factors.

However, FMA2003/03 ended around 2004-05, So what we got is what we have.

Now, with that out of the way, let’s get on to the analysis of FMA: Brotherhood:

Characters: There isn’t a single character in this version of the series that I can choose as a “favorite”. Because, honestly? I lile them all. They’re all well developed and lovable in their own way, and have their own demension of depth to them. No, they’re not as deep as they aare in FMA2003/03, but from a writer’s perspective, that helps keep a balance with the overall plot of the stories. Now, some minor characters were just outrageous, but not to the level of boring (like 03!Kimblee and Archer), for example...  Darius and Heinkel. There isn’t a vast difference in Brotherhood’s and 2003/03's cast of characters. However, if I had to note a difference, FMA2003/03′s characters were are more on the edge of realistic and Brotherhood’s were just... Loveable. However, that doesn’t mean that one counterpart of a character is better/worse than another. Both are quite memorable in their own way. Of course, in my opinion Brotherhood's villains are just better than 03's villains. Sure, the Homunculi aren’t given as much depth, but, they have redeeming qualities near the end of their time (i.e. Envy, and GreedLing). When Father was first introduced... his character made me think of how Dante started out, and I was worried that his character would end up just as rushed and he would just be the generic cliche Shounen villain. By the Promised Day Arc, however, I was surprised. Yeah, Father was still very shounen-y villain, but still a pretty darn good villain. I feel his backstory, and how he discarded all his human qualities which led to the creation of Homunculi was well put together, and I felt the concept how he created Alchemy in Amestris, while Hohenhime helped build Alkahestry in the east was well put together, and helped build the world of FMA (literally). To put it simply, his character was much more interesting than Dante, because it was fleshed out more. The Homunculi were awesome as well, Lust did her job, Pride and Wrath were simply awesome, GreeLing's development from an anti-villain to anti-hero was exceptionally well written and not the cliche anti-hero, which I can appreciate. Envy is the character you love to hate. And Gluttony and Sloth did their Part as Well. While I enjoyed 03′s portrayal of the homunculi, I felt like they only fleshed out some for that series (i.e. Lust) while others were just left to fall flat. With Brotherhood, all the Homunculi were evenly balanced out in their characters, not too much depth and not too little. Solf Kimblee was still the sadistic baster, but at least his entire personality was more explored this time, and I liked how they portrayed his psyche as an added affect to why he has his views.

Plot: Bortherhood’s plot was more fluid and weaved in seamlessly. As a lover of all things continuity... Brotherhood did it right, and every time I find an analysis of a teeny tiny subtle continuity detail (i.e. Ed’s gash on his forehead that lasts a few episodes), I get a writer-gasm! Sure, there were few plot devices and filler here and there. But the plot in gneeral wasn’t rushed or choppy, nor did it leave any holes in it. The way Brotherhood portrays it’s plot is to keep you as engaged as possible, adding some silly comic relief here and there to balance out the dramatic intensity every so often. Unlike 2003/03 where is was just one depressing and dark element after another, Brotherhood added in the comic relief points not and again to give it’s audience a break. And, that’s what I really appreciate, and think is a great story writing technique. All in all the Brotherhood series is literal binge-watch material

A Great Shounen: Many Shounen anime have their Arcs for the purpose of portraying the progress of a character, and keep introducing new villains; however, depsite this, there is rarely a sense of mystery, intrigue or a moving plot in a Battle Shounen Anime. What Brotherhood did was just that, except make it more digestible (and not super long like Naruto or One Piece), and added a great thematic exploration. For a shounen it was quite deep, the plot structure was more like seinen, and characters were awesome. In a way, we got everything we could in a Shounen anime that only lasted a little over 50 episodes: Depth, plot, characters in a shounen.

Thematic Exploration: Both FMA 2003/03′s and Brotherhood’s themes are the same, but Brotherhood makes it a bit more lighter. All the while, it also manages to raise questions on additional themes: revenge, truth, knowledge, sacrifice, worth of a human life, and many other things.

Soundtrack and Animation: Same as the analysis in the part of FMA 2003/03, and, once again... I will restate that I personally don’t believe that art style is what’s important to a series. It’s nothing more than glorified “eye candy”. However, for the sake of this analysis, I will be adding it in here. While Brotherhood’s art style and animation is more simplistic, it’s much easier to create those dynamic poses and expressions on an animation level. While FMA2003/03 did have it’s dynamic moments, it was mostly only during battle scenes or the really heavy moments in the series. Brotherhood maintains it’s art style through the series and keeps it a balance, so that some scenes aren’t too much animation but also not too little. And, both FMA2003/03′s and Brotherhood’s OST Soundtracks are beautiful orchestral pieces that really add additional effect to a scene that the respective series are trying to portray.

A sense of conclusion: A lot of Shounen Anime get prematurely cancelled, most Seinen end in a bittersweet manner. That’s why FMA2003/03′s ending with the fate of the Elric Bros was a bit more preferable for those who like a more realistic ending. But, I enjoy a story with a more conclusive ending that wraps all the plot points up together without leaving too many holes. Yeah, the “happy ending” of Brotherhood is cliche, but “happy endings” wouldn’t be “happy endings” if they weren’t. Not to mention, those types of endings are rare, because people really don’t want to write them, and, when they do, they’re rarely done well. Ed’s entire charcter arc wrapping up to where he swallows his pride as an Alchemist and gives up his Alchemy to bring his brother back is both wholesome and satisfying, because, through the show, it shows his progression and growth from beginning to end. And, having an arrogant character obsessed with Alchemy give it up and learn to humble himself because of it.. it’s really uplifting.

Now let's talk about the Cons within the Brotherhood series, they aren't a lot, but still, they did affect my experience quite a lot.

Overuse of Comic Relief: While the use is a nice balance to the already dark and dismal atmosphere of the series, it felt a bit overused. So much so that some emotional moments were inconvenienced by the use of that kind of humor. It was a bit much and created dissonance with the tone the scene was trying to portray. Now, it worked more in the Manga, because of the more visual gag of it, but, sometimes the visuals within the manga don’t translate as well to an animated one.

A Rushed First Half: While FMA 2003/03 began “In Media Res” with it’s first episode and then started a “flashback episodic arc” with the next handful of episodes.. Brotherhood just jumped right into it. While, yes, it was a better balance to not have the characters’ depth right at the beginning (slowly revealing it as the show goes on), the first half of Brotherhood was 0-100 through just the first few episodes. To the point it feels like the audience has to catch it’s bearings. But, once you get on the same page, it’s enjoyable from there.

So what’s the Point of this Ted Talk-esq FMA Post?

I’m sick and tired of seeing 03 Stans  and MangaHood Stans fighting each other over just the smallest detail, especially when 03 Stans decided to bring leftist politics into it for no reason.

Personally, I just appreciate the fact that both series exist, ever since I've got in the franchise, it has become a part of my life, and still to this day is part of my life. Sure, I’m forever going to be part of this fandom.. but, I still see the beauty that peeks through the ruins and ashes of destruction now and then. I appreciate both series. Sure, I do prefer Brotherhood more, and get called a “Nazi” just because of it (ironic considering FMA: CoS was the movie sequel to 03... -__- ) , but 03 was excellent as well in it’s own way. It was very involving while FMAB was engaging. Both shows are something which you can learn something from and get attached to.

All in all, comparing both shows is okay, that's what I did here, but having a debate over which one is better isn’t just inherently bad... it’s TOXIC. Both series have their pros and cons, and they’re starkly different from each other. They’re two sides of the same coin. But, most importantly they are extremely important and impactful, so Pls don't have death battles over which one is better, don't say bad things about any fanbase, be respectful, and most importantly watch both and try to appreciate them. Because trust me liking both is a pretty darn good feeling.

[cienie-isengardu]

The development of Law’s relationship with Zoro - Part 4: Dressrosa, The Breaking Point (Birdcage, Pica & Doflamingo)

<<Part I: Before Meeting>> <<Part II: Sabaody Archipelago, The First Meeting>> <<Part III: Punk Hazard, The Alliance (A)>> <<Part III: Punk Hazard, The Alliance (B)>>  <<Part IV: Dressrosa, The Breaking Point (The Plan Failed)__ (Saving Law)__(Protecting Law)__ (Birdcage, Pica and Doflamingo)__ (Aftermath)>>

Once the two pirate captains were alone (with additional presence of Abdullah & Jet, who despite Luffy’s complaint did ride on the bull’s back with them), Law finally opened about his true goal. Though the plan he brought to Straw Hat was the safer option, in truth he wanted to take down Doflamingo by himself...

and explained his hatred:  

Thirteen years ago, Doflamingo murdered someone I loved… His name was Corazon. He was once a Supreme Officer in the Doflamingo Family [...] He was the one who gave me my life. He was Doflamingo’s younger brother!!!

Zoro wasn’t there to hear Law’s story. A story that proves the existence of the hidden goal thus Roronoa’s instinct (the eventual suspicion) was foolproof. He may learn about it after battle, depending on Luffy or Law’s willingness to share. For now, Law opened himself only to Straw Hat yet I wouldn’t say he didn’t do that earlier due to Zoro’s presence - after all, there were still Abdullah and Jet to witness it, and both men were even more strangers than Zoro who up to this moment proved to be reliable and understanding ally. Looking at Trafalgar’s face and the “inner thought” bubble with three dots, seems like Law decided to talk about past in that moment because of what was happening - though fighting was the only one way for survival, everyone was determined to get Doffy’s head without caring for consequences (angry Kaido) and maybe Zoro facing Pica (who already was hit by three powerful fighters yet came out unharmed) all by himself so Luffy could get to the palace was another impulse affecting him. 

In all fairness, the lack of Zoro’s grounding presence left Law alone to deal with Luffy’s madness and uncaring nature. The moments in question, where:

♠ Law asked how Straw Hat plans to get rid of seastone handcuffs blocking his Ope Ope no Mi powers - a matter that Luffy kind of ignored, thinking it will sort itself out somehow (chapter 751). Trafalgar absolutely disagreed. Though Zoro did not raise the matter before, there was a chance he would support Law’s objection. Up to this point, Zoro always secured (guarded) Trafalgar when the situation required it but in direct combat with Doflamingo, it could be too dangerous not only for Law, but for Straw Hats too. Fighting when one must look after a totally powerless ally was just a death sentence. Of course, Zoro could agree with Law’s demand either out of worry for Trafalgar or solely for pragmatism, which still would be better than Luffy’s lack of worry.

(On second thought, Law should be happy to not heard any Zoro’s hardcore idea of cutting his hands to free him from seastone so he could heal himself with recovered powers of Ope Ope no Mi. Frankly, I’m surprised Zoro didn’t bring up this morbid possibility).

In the end, Team Robin-Bartolomeo-Rebecca managed to smuggle the key past the enemy line and freed Law. Zoro had his part in it - he didn’t let Pica hurt (stop) them and secured their passage to rendezvous point with pirate captains (chapter 754). 

♠ Luffy got tricked by Funk Brothers. As much as Zoro’s presence wouldn’t prevent them going straight into the enemy's trap, at least the two captains would have a non-devil fruit user to protect them from danger (the assassin, Doflamingo’s clone and water) instead rely on luck someone will come to save them. Frankly, the fact that Doflamingo saved them from Funk Brothers only adds insult to the injury (chapter 752).

Of course, the two Supernovas were thankfully saved by Abdullah and Jet, but once again it was more a matter of luck than any real control over the situation. With Zoro, Law at least had some comfort of security. Literally Roronoa disappeared for a moment, and Law & Luffy once again were close to dying in a pathetic way.

♠ After surviving the trap, Luffy made his own shortcut and carried Law alongside. At some point, they met Cavendish and Kyros. Together on Cavendish’s horse rode to the palace. Once again, the matter who should defeat Doflamingo arose and all four men argued. One would hope after learning about Law’s past, Luffy was going to respect his need for revenge. Except nope. Even though Kyros and Law have many more reasons to take Doffy’s head, Luffy was as selfish and irrational as before (chapter 754). None of the men thought about working together and really, up to this moment Zoro was the only one person who showed a will to cooperate while Luffy and Law still argued about who should finish off the enemy. 

It seems like Zoro was in fact the only person who truly considered himself, Law and Luffy a team, while the captains were more interested in their personal goal - taking down Doflamingo, but for different reasons. Roronoa was the least emotionally involved in the conflict and simply judged the situation by cold logic rather than empathic nature (Luffy) or  traumatic past (Law).

Ultimately, under attack of Donquixote’s officers, the colosseum fighters decided to unite and kept enemies from Luffy and Law - something that Zoro proposed from the start, but was then shut down. Now, the fighters, Kyros and dwarves, Candevish and Bartolomeo, Robin and Rebecca, Usopp and Zoro, all thanks to them, the two Supernova captains safely got to the fourth (the last) plateau leading directly to the palace. With Law freed from seastone cuffs, he and Luffy finally faced Donquixote Doflamingo (chapter 758). The matter of who should take down the enemy at last was put aside for teamwork. 

Zoro and Law were busy with their own respective fights that for most happened at the same time in different places: Law & Luffy vs Doflamingo & Trebol in New Palace and Zoro vs Pica on Pica Statue (later, shifting the fight to other plateaus). On the farest left, in an old palace plateau, King Riku, Viola, Usopp and samurais gathered.

After Kyros defeated Diamante, Pica started attacking injured fighters and then tried to kill King Riku, Viola and Usopp, who were at the mentioned former palace plateau. He changed his stone body into gigant - and this gigantic man was hard to miss. Zoro came up with a daring plan to stop the enemy and to do so, he used special powers of other fighters.

Zoro cut Pica’s stone body into pieces, defeated him and - thanks to coordinating his attack with King Elizabetto - ensured that stone remains will not fall down on King Riku, Usopp and unarmed civilians (chapter 778).

With the gigantic stone body towering above town, Zoro’s action didn’t go unnoticed - Trebol informed Doflamingo about Pica’s fate and mentioned destruction of the factory (done by Franky). Law most likely didn’t have a chance to see it for himself - unless he already switched his place with the dead body, using it as decoy and could allow himself a moment of distraction. 

Similarly, Zoro remained far away from the main battle between Law & Luffy vs Doflamingo, but once he joined King Riku on plateau, Viola became his reliable source about the ongoing fight. There is a high possibility she did summarize what Zoro missed due to fighting with Pica. For sure she told him about Law’s bad condition (chapter 780) and that birdcage is slowly shrinking.

Thanks to Viola, Zoro may more or less have known the course of the fight - and with that, guessing the emotional state of Supernova pirates. Ultimately, Law was hurt badly, so Luffy entrusted him to Robin’s care while he alone took on Doflamingo.

Despite the danger, Law decided to stay where he was, so he could either see Doflamingo’s defeat with his own eyes, or die alongside Luffy.

Cavendish remained with him, to protect in case of Doflamingo’s attack, so Robin could get Rebecca and the rest of their little group to relative safety (chapter 783). Once again, depending how much Robin and Zoro share information off-panel, she could tell him about Law’s choice. Another missing puzzle that she and him started putting in the whole picture. Even more important, since it speaks about Law’s loyalty and determination when he previously at least twice dismissed the bond with Luffy - threatening him and denied their friendship (Luffy’s idea of alliance) in front of Zoro.

With Gear Four, Luffy managed to overpower Doflamingo (chapter 784) but his stamina ran out before he could finish the enemy. Only thanks to the help of Gyats, the colosseum announcer and remaining gladiators - and later, Sabo, Viola and Law - Luffy was kept safe from Doflamingo. For ten minutes needed to regenerate his strength, Straw Hat was protected by people who didn’t lend him a hand before, but now believed in his promise to defeat the tyrannical Shichibukai. And for that were willing to put their life on the line. At some point of that, thanks to the narrator box, it was outright said that Luffy needed 4 minutes to recover while birdcage would kill everyone in three.

Around the time Luffy passed Law to Robin and his fourth gear, Zoro already left Viola’s group (chapter 783/784), taking with himself two samurai. He decided to stop or at least slow down the shrinking birdcage, to buy as much time as it was possible. 

In all fairness, he was the only one person who thought about such a solution - who thought it was a possible thing to do. Everyone was so sure of its invincibility; Doflamingo, Law (who reacted with fear at the mere mention of Doffy’s technique), the samurais, the common people running in fear for their life. Kinemon outright called Zoro’s plan a madness to which Roronoa asked back how he could know that. Because after all, the birdcage was a power of just one man thus shouldn’t be unstoppable.

On his way, Zoro passed his plan to Franky who decided to use the factory building made of seastone (thus invincible to Doffy’s strings). With the help of dwarves, Franky did the same as Zoro, only in a different part of the area. 

The Pirate Hunter was the spark that mobilized other people to do the impossible - stopping birdcage. Following in his footsteps, other colosseum fighters

and marines (with admiral Issho himself aiding Zoro)

and even simple citizens

all of them joined forces to stop shrinking birdcage. AND IT STOPPED. For a moment, but still stopped and that brought hope to all people. Even though it moved again, with their determination, the birdcage shrinking slowed enough to buy Luffy so needed time (chapter 788)

While Zoro focused on buying Luffy time to recover, Law took Straw Hat into safety and guarded him, while Gyats focused all Doflamingo’s attention on himself. And then Luffy came back.  

Law didn’t take part in that last fight, but assisted Luffy in saving Straw Hat’s new friends - Viola and Rebecca from enemy’s attack and later, saved unconscious and exhausted Luffy from falling.

Without anyone in the way, Luffy could finally  knock out Doffy once and for good. With that, the birdcage disappeared and Dressrosa became a free country again (chapter 791).

The next part: Aftermath

[ambientstars]

Puppet

Whittaker!Master X f!reader X Doctor

Gif: unknown. (If you know, please tell me so I can credit)

Warnings: mentions of abuse, angst & death of a character

(I sincerely apologise for not being able to add the ‘read more’ break, I know it’s long. Also I didn’t specify which Doctor it was so you can make it who you want it to be.)

- - -

“How could you? I trusted you!” The Doctor yelled directly at you, his hands in fists, his face red like strawberries.

The Master had just told him that for the last year of travelling with him, you’d been betraying him behind his back, getting close to him so you could do the Master’s dirty work for her.

“Stop shouting, dear, you’ll give yourself a migraine.” She sniggered, striding over to you with purpose.

She dipped you down and kissed you so deeply, so intensely, everything else around you faded away into darkness and background noise. Your arms snaked around her neck in response, holding on tight. The moan that slipped from your throat was loud enough to ring in the Doctor’s ears, not that you were paying attention to him at all anymore.

The Master hummed her appreciation for the sound and smirked as she pulled you back upright, her eyes fixed on the Doctor. “Doesn’t she sound so sweet, Doctor? Doesn’t it break your little hearts to know you could never make her make a sound like that?”

The Doctor’s face fell from confusion and anger to hurt and… acceptance?

“I just…” his voice was weak, his fighting efforts withering away. “I don’t understand.”

The Master twisted a strand of your hair around her finger for a second, while she feigned sadness, her bottom lip poking out in a pout. “Poor you, Doctor. Finally, the man who knows everything there is to know about the universe and everything in it, speechless and confused.”

Your hand absentmindedly played the buttons on the Master’s waistcoat, still pressed to her side. You glanced over at the Doctor and almost pitied him, the pain of heartbreak clearly displayed on his face. After all you did spend the best part of a year with this man, albeit reporting his every move and thought back to the Master at the end of each day, and you weren’t completely heartless.

But from the first day you met the Master, she had made sure you understood rule one, never trust anyone. The Doctor would’ve done well to have learnt that too.

“This good girl right here,” she looked you up and down, the corner of her lips tugging up into a small, proud smile. “Has been keeping you busy while I’ve been attending to some… things.”

You bit your lip in anticipation of the big reveal, ready and waiting for the Doctor’s reaction, your whole body practically buzzing with excitement. The Master noticed and shot you a look that said be patient and turned back to the man in front of you both.

“I’ve been visiting your little friends,” the Master circled the Doctor for intimidation purposes, the way her body moved and swayed as she slowly walked had you licking your lips. “Your… retired companions.”

The Doctor gave her a look of disgusted curiosity, his jaw clenched. “You better not have hurt them!”

But the Doctor knew better than that, of course she hurt them. Why else would she have visited them?

You could hardly contain the giggle that forced its way from your chest, the Master directing a sinister grin at you when she heard, understanding your joy.

“I’m sorry, Doctor, I can’t tell you that, otherwise I’d be lying.” She leant back on the console, looking at her perfectly manicured fingernails ever so casually.

“What did you do?” The Doctor spat, his face turning back red in frustration, sweat forming at his hairline.

“I started with that blonde woman you loved so much. Oh, what was her name again? Violet? Tulip?” She winked at you playfully and again you giggled, your hands unable to keep still. “Nevermind. Whatever her name was, she’s dead now.”

His face twisted into multiple forms at once, none of which you’d ever seen before. Anger, hatred, shock, you name it. “No. You couldn’t have. She’s in an alternate universe, with no way through.”

“You underestimate my abilities, Doctor. And for good measure, but mostly fun on my part, I left your little clone alive, crying pathetically.”

The Doctor gripped onto the console behind him for support, not trusting his own strength to stand anymore. He felt for the man that was basically his twin, knowing just how much he loved her and now having to live a long and miserable life without her.

“Then I went down the list of everyone you’ve ever brought aboard this ship, well the ones you’d allowed to live, and kill them all off. One by one.”

The Master came back to stand with you, her arm around your waist as you all but bounced in your spot.

“But why?”

“Because I felt like it.” The Master’s tone was very blasé, as if to say why else?, her shoulders shrugging carelessly.

“You can’t just… that’s not fair!”

As the Master spoke, she looked at you, her finger under your chin and her eyes admiring you. “What’s fairness got to do with anything? Come on, Doctor, you and I have never played fair, why start now?”

The way she looked at you sparked a fire in your core, goosebumps rising across your body. The Doctor spoke again, but his words were a mystery to you, your complete focus on the woman in front of you, now stroking your cheek with a single digit.

The Master also continued talking, her lips forming words like she had rehearsed them. Her face showed no sign of amusement now, but it was such a turn on when she was stern and serious, her brows creased and her eyes like daggers impaling your soul.

A sharp pain radiated across your cheek, your head suddenly thrown to the side.

“I asked you a question, darling,” the Master lowered the hand she had just slapped you with, her teeth gritted in irritation. “Now answer me!”

Your hand found its way to your throbbing cheek, the touch of your own skin against it stung like a thousand bee stings.

You hadn’t been paying attention, too caught up in your desire for the other woman, all senses switched off until you were abruptly brought back to reality. “I…”

The Master snared, stepping forward to put her face right in front of yours, eyes burning with something worse than anger. “Do I have to punish you?”

You remembered the last time she had punished you, trapping you in a tight, dark room and invading your head with visions of your worst nightmares, playing on a loop for days, weeks.

You remembered one particular day when she had been angered by something or someone so badly, she came to the room and released all that anger out on you through kicks and punches, beating you until you were bloodied and bruised, teetering on the edge of unconsciousness.

You weren’t sure how much time passed after that, but eventually she opened the door again and scooped you up into her arms, shushing you lovingly as you cried into her neck. She had bathed you, carefully cleaning the bumps and bruises scattered over your weak body and she sat behind on your bed as she brushed your hair until the brush ran through it like silk, telling stories of the adventures she’d had while you were locked away.

And although you forgave her in a heartbeat, just like always, from that day you decided to be on your very best behaviour for the Master, the punishment just not worth it. Until now.

“No, I just…”

“Leave her alone.” The Doctor piped up, looking at you with hurt in his eyes.

It confused you a little that the Doctor would stand up for you and have your back even after you betrayed him in the worst way possible, but you figured after spending so much time with him and bonding, on his part, over dangerous days out, it had to have something to do with it.

“Stay out of this!” The Master snapped back, her shoulders tense, her eyes never looking away from yours.

“She’s not your puppet, Master. This is between me and you, just leave her out of it.”

The Master’s face softened a little, her lips curving into a smirk. She round you to stand behind you, her chest against your back, her lips grazing the shell of your ear. “Oh, but she is.”

Her hand trailed up from your stomach to your throat where she lightly squeezed and tilted your head back to rest on her shoulder. You stood frozen, allowing her to control you in fear of the consequences.

Her eyes remained locked on the Doctor as she whispered in your ear, making sure he was still paying attention. “If you want to avoid punishment when we get home, you will do exactly as I tell you, do you understand?”

You nodded the best you could with your head back and whispered yes Master, your knees feeling like they might give out at any minute.

“Good girl. Now, go over there and hide this somewhere he won’t see it. I don’t care how you do it, just make it quick and don’t mess up.” She slipped a cold metal object into the back of the waistband on your jeans, the feeling of it forcing you to shiver against her.

She placed a simple encouraging kiss onto the side of your neck as she released her hold on you and pushed you forward toward the broken man still standing frozen in his spot.

“I have better things to be doing than standing around here at your pity party, Doctor. So I’m going to go, but you enjoy yourself, really.” The Master saluted the Doctor playfully and turned to walk away, shouting for you to hurry up behind her as she walked through the TARDIS doors.

“Doc I-“

“Please… please just don’t.” Finally he moved, turning away from you and shuffling over to the other side of the console, pressing buttons like he knew what he was doing. “Just go.”

“I’m sorry.”

Were you sorry? You didn’t know your own feelings anymore, every one of your thoughts and emotions dictated now.

The Doctor looked at you for a moment, his face practically showing all of the cogs turning in his restless mind. He looked tired, beaten down and ready to give up. It wasn’t a look you were used to seeing on this usually charismatic and charming man, his skin glowing with adrenaline, now dull and pale.

“I know.”

He walked off down a hallway of the TARDIS without another word, slipping out of sight almost instantly. You expected to feel guilt and regret right now, but you felt no different to how you had during the year you spent with the timelord, keeping him distracted.

You carefully and quietly slipped the metal object the Master had given you under a control panel of the console and followed in the Master’s footsteps, out the door without looking back.

“My sweet girl,” the Master praised as you came through the door to her TARDIS, her arms raised as if you’d been away for months and just returned home. “Excluding the minor hiccup that I will ignore for now, you did so well back there.”

Butterflies swarmed and fluttered in your stomach, a proud feeling washing over you. “Thank you.”

“Come, watch this.” She gestured you over to stand with her at the computer screen and you did so without hesitation. “Press this button right here.”

You pressed it and not even a second later, up on the screen, you saw the blue box explode into sharp pieces of wood and jagged metal, fire erupting into the air and causing the ground you were standing on to rumble like you’ve never experienced before. Aftershocks rippled through the atmosphere like radiation, your eyes never tearing away from the screen despite the TARDIS jerking around like no tomorrow.

The Master grabbed ahold of your face and forced you to look at her instead, a sickening smile playing on her lips. “Good girl.”

She kissed you hard, a kiss you did not reciprocate, and just as quickly released you to casually walk off somewhere to do God only knows what.

You allowed your eyes to once again watch the screen, now only seeing the carnage and aftermath of the Master’s doing, knowing the Doctor was in the wreckage somewhere, probably dead.

You didn’t move, couldn’t move, your mind blank and your body numb. You looked a few moments longer then switched off the screen and exited the room the same way the Master did, in search of her, hoping to find a new way to please your Master.

[bestworstcase]

Since Gilbert took over Corona in the latest chapter, I wanted to know like, what is his relationship with his brothers? Do he and Frederic usually get along? Is it a kind of "I was supposed to inherent the throne" kind of deal? Also how does he feel about Arianna, Punzel, and Eugene?

alrighty so!!

gilbert is the middle sibling; fred’s older, ludolf is younger. i don’t think he has much, if anything, in the way of ambition to rule—he’s very much a traditionalist and that includes buying into the system of monarchy and frederic having the “right” to rule as the eldest son.

however he absolutely is not the kind of person who could loaf around being a rich prince all his life, and since the temple didn’t appeal to him (too boring) and neither did diplomacy (too delicate), as a young man he enlisted in ingvarr’s battalion and served as an officer in the hvassjarn war, which was a fairly significant war ~20 years ago involving, primarily, a territorial dispute between ingvarr and seland, with their respective allies getting dragged into the mix (and quintonia stuck in the middle like “god damn it, guys, again?).

and that is an environment in which gilbert definitely thrived. he always has a very black and white, us-vs-them mentality that suited him well for war; he liked the military camaraderie of the battalion, the physical and mental challenges of battle, and the... simplicity? of the whole conflict. i think any political nuances that existed were entirely lost on him and in his mind it was a very straightforward... we (the seven kingdoms) are the good guys, we want the land, seland/the hĺessian alliance doesn’t want to give us the land, therefore they are bad and we’re fighting them. 

buuut then the war ended, and he retired with honors from the battalion and returned home to corona, where... there was really nothing for him to do except advise frederic and involve himself with the king’s watch, which is the closest thing corona has to a standing army. and i think he found that sort of boring and unfulfilling / ended up being to restless to ever... like start a family of his own. 

i figure in the last 20 or so years he’s been in and out of corona a fair amount for diplomatic reasons, and he doesn’t... enjoy that, but it’s something he can do to Serve Corona, which he’s very keen to do. because he’s very patriotic. but like, in general, he isn’t a man who... can exist without an enemy, if that makes sense? he needs a them to be in opposition against, and in times of peace there’s really not. a clear cut them

and then of course in this same time frame his baby niece was kidnapped and he was heartbroken about that and dealt with that heartbreak by, even moreso than frederic did, looking for someone to blame...

...which is where his hatred of saporians really started to boil over. like he was never not bigoted against them, but when he was a younger man i think it really was more just the average... thoughtless dismissal / distaste and casual distrust of saporian culture that Most Coronans have. but after rapunzel was kidnapped gilbert a) looked at the exploding popularity of saporian separatism and went “clearly Those People stole, and probably killed, my infant niece,” and then b) generalized separatism to all saporians and entrenched himself further and further in that bigotry until he got to... where he is today, which is something goes wrong and his knee-jerk reaction is to be like “the saporians did this somehow”

SO

when the saporians / the coalition between the separatists and the syconium started actually seriously laying the groundwork for a rebellion, gilbert was already mentally primed to jump straight to saporians are the enemy and we need to treat this like a war...

...which frederic repeatedly refused to do. and gilbert was legitimately distressed about this, because in his mind, saporians are The Enemy/not coronan, and they’re a dire threat to corona, and he can see very clearly that they’re going to become a worse threat if something isn’t done, and... frederic is doing nothing about it. [what fred is actually doing is applying moderation and recognizing that saporians are part of corona too, but that. doesn’t register as doing anything, in gilbert’s brain]

so gilbert is like UH??? because it feels to him like he’s the only sane person left in the room and everyone else is just sitting on their butts with their heads in the sand. and he really doesn’t know what to do about it other than loudly and insistently asking fred to Do Something, but that keeps... not... working...

and then the saporians steal the journal of herz der sonne. this compromises herzingen’s security in a MAJOR way, and gilbert is able to wring a couple concessions out of it... but it’s nowhere near what he feels is enough, in his mind the task force (under sir peter’s command, not his) is a token gesture at best. it’s not going to fix anything. 

and then his niece gets kidnapped AGAIN! and STILL nothing changes! the witch who kidnapped and hurt her gets coddled [this is how gilbert interprets sir peter chewing out the guards he catches roughing her up] and lackadaisical security allows her to not just escape but also murder a guard on the way out. and still nothing changes except for a handful of arrests and interrogations that don’t really go anywhere.  

so gilbert is getting very frustrated and uneasy and upset, and he feels like the only person taking this huge burgeoning crisis seriously...

...and that’s where he’s at when cass dips and leaves her note confessing to stealing the journal, and gilbert is like. HOLY SHIT. THIS HAS GOTTA CHANGE THINGS. and he pushes very very hard for more stringent measures, and for the most part he gets them, but that ends up being, in his mind, too little too late, because just a couple weeks later socona revolts and almost thirty coronan guards die. (and there’s also the report from falke that two of the guards stationed in socona were traitors lol)

and then in the scene with him and sir peter in the hospital in artois, gilbert very much sees that... sir peter is not going to emotionally be able to handle a war where cassandra is on the other side, so he’s like. weighing up the odds he can get frederic to remove sir peter from the commandership and he’s like... Doubt.

so that’s the point at which gilbert commits himself to a coup, because he is at his wit’s end and in his mind it’s either... a leader who is better prepared for war steps up to steer corona through this, or the saporians destroy corona forever, and as much as he doesn’t want it to come to forcibly removing frederic from power he feels like it’s his only choice, because frederic is too soft and sir peter is too emotionally compromised by. everything. 

and then it’s uh. about a month, give or take a bit, for gilbert to actually put the coup together—which is a FAST turn around, but he’s able to pull it off because a lot of the king’s watch is very unhappy about how sir peter has been handling the whole “saporians keep killing guards” and “cassandra was a traitor” situations, and it doesn’t take a whole lot of effort to get enough of them on his side for a coup to be possible. and then he waits until the next opportunity presents itself and rolls in with a plan and the backing of corona’s closest thing to an army at his back and strong-arms frederic into abdicating to facilitate a “peaceful” transfer of power. and now frederic and arianna are under a soft house arrest rip them

*deep breath* 

anyway all of that is a long winded way of saying in gilbert’s mind, he’s 100% the Virtuous Underdog Hero who is Selflessly Stepping Up to save corona from its Well Meaning But Incompetent Leaders in a Time of Dire Consequence. so that’s where he was coming from. 

as for his relationships with his family:

- he loves frederic but does not respect him very much, because the events of benighted / fred completely losing any semblance of control he had over the separatists eroded gilbert’s respect for him pretty signifcantly. (prior to benighted, i think gilbert felt pretty favorably about frederic’s leadership; he approved heartily of the crackdown, though he kept trying to nudge fred to go even harder to clean up those last few hotspots of separatism in southern corona)

- he also loves ludolf but ludolf confuses him because ludolf is perfectly content with his life as a rector and gilbert is just kinda like. but isn’t it boring. but he keeps that thought to himself because gilbert is a fairly devout man and he respects ludolf’s decision to devote his life to the temple quite a bit even if he absolutely does not get it. he does however think that ludolf, and the whole temple really, is Too Soft and Too Idealistic to function in reality

- he clashes with arianna a lot on political grounds because they have almost no common ground in their opinions on the direction corona should go, but he likes her as a person and thinks she’s generally a good fit for frederic / he’s pleased to have her as a sister in law. they just. have a no politics at the dinner table sort of agreement. because otherwise they Will fight.

- he was firmly, if silently, convinced that rapunzel was dead until she strolled back into herzingen. after that he was delighted to be wrong, and very happy for fred and ari’s sake in addition to just happy to have his niece back / for the chance to get to know her. i think a lot of his pushing and some of the desperation he has in benighted comes in part from a desire to protect rapunzel, though he sorta conflates her safety with the safety of corona as a whole in a way that frederic doesn’t. 

- he... did not like eugene at all at first, and still doesn’t like him very much. he thinks eugene is a rude, ignorant layabout who is taking advantage of frederic’s and arianna’s gratitude and he does not like that rapunzel is involved with him and he was PISSED after the botched proposal. i think fred and ari had to tag team him to get him not to just like. explode at eugene, and that only worked because gilbert knew other people were chewing eugene out for the whole thing. he has warmed up to eugene very slightly since then, because eugene started to get his act together and stopped acting so lazy. but he still is definitely like, hoping rapunzel will dump him and kick him out of the palace soon lbjkskdjlfjksd

- he’s very big on the Idea of family, even though he was never able/ready to start a family of his own (which i think... is something that bothers him a bit, though not something he dwells on). so the coup is something he genuinely didn’t want to do to frederic, but he did it because he felt it was for the greater good / he had to put his personal feelings aside to do the Right Thing. and in general he wants and tries to have good personal relationships with his family.

[kawaiijellymonster]

So I’ve got a note in my notes app called “Fanfic lines that should be in a hall of fame” and it’s gotten pretty long so I figure I’ll toss it on here so yall can enjoy it, most of them are: mha, zukka, miraculous ladybug, harry potter, and I think one is from a comment on a hannibal amv, But here you go:

Stain sold papers because he just had an aura about him that drew people in, like people who slow down to look at car crashes.

“The Rumor Come Out: Does Todoroki Shoto is Gay?”

Izuku spent the next week going to his normal martial arts classes, studying, and drinking gallons of coffee. Not healthy but he could deal with it. His body was never meant to be permanent.

So no one was watching when Mei placed her forehead against his, breath fanning across his face as she spoke. "Wake up Loki… the world needs you."

“No probs ‘lil listener!” Hizashi said, striking a dramatic pose. “I’ll be your DJ all through the night, bringin’ you such rockin’ hits as safety, security and sweet dreams!”

“This is stupid! Screw the waiting and screw these stupid butterflies. They're not paying rent, the little shits--”

Experimenting with unstable genetic mutant abominations is more of an art than a science, really."

Several looks pass across both their faces. “No flying for a month,” Sirius declares. That sucks, actually. But he’s also a hundred percent certain he can get them to cave on that in two weeks tops. “Okay. Is that for the breaking into the Ministry, destroying the Department of Mysteries, making a bargain with Voldemort, or bringing all my friends with me?” “It’s for recklessly endangering your own life again,” Remus says, “and while the punishment very much doesn’t fit the crime, we’re a bit at a loss for what else to do.” “It wasn’t reckless!” he protests. “We had a plan and everything, and we even brought an adult! An adult Order member! Also what else were we supposed to do, let Snape die?” Sirius takes a deep breath, but Remus steps on his foot before he can put it in his mouth. “Which is why you’re only getting flying privileges taken away and not thrown in a cell in Azkaban for our sanity and your safety.” As if any cell could hold him. “I accept your terms.”

“Who’s Theophania?” Sirius asks. Harry hesitates. Perhaps bringing her up was his smartest decision, strategically speaking. “If I tell you you’re not allowed to throw me in Azkaban. Or ground me.” “This isn’t a negotiation,” Sirius repeats. If Blaise has taught him anything, it’s that everything is a negotiation. “She’s a friend.” “And?” Sirius repeats. Remus suddenly grabs onto Sirius’s shoulder, “Wait. Petrifying - during your second year - is Theophania - she’s not the basilisk.” “No, they killed it,” Sirius says automatically. Harry remains silent. “Harry!” He rubs his nose. “It turns out I’m not that good at killing things. Unkilling things, however? My specialty.”

“It’s okay,” Nanaia says, “you don’t know. What do you do when you don’t know something?” “Try something you do know and hope it doesn’t make everything worse?” For some reason, Horace looks sad at that answer, and Dumbledore shifts from one foot to the other. “No,” she says, “you ask for help.” Oh.

“It’ll piss off your son,” he answers bluntly. “Fuck that kid,” Riddle Sr. says

“You played me!” “Like a cheap kazoo”

Batman sighed, before speaking in a voice that was so unlike his usual growl that most of the other League members almost fell out of their chairs. Diana and Clark seemed to be used to it. “Damian,” he started. His voice was still deep, but a regular-deep, instead of I-just-swallowed-six-buckets-of-gravel deep.

“She loved James too,” she assures, and the confidence she says that with allows him to breathe, like someone has let go of his lungs. “It is possible to love more than one person at the same time. She loved your father with the type of love that’s – that was like a shooting star, burning and bright and touching everyone around them. Her love for Severus was different, and in the end it wasn’t the type of love either of them could handle.”

You’re better at it now then many people are after leaving a full apprenticeship, and you’ve only had a year of lessons a couple of times a week instead of years of intensive study. Do you know why that is?” “Luck?” he offers weakly. For some reason, he doesn’t like the direction this is going in. “No,” she says. “To be good at healing, the way you are, the way I am, you need a certain combination of things. Intelligence, power, control, but more than that. Stubbornness, a tricky balance of flexibility and inflexibility, and a constant, brutal assessment over your own skills. And something else.” “A propensity towards poor life choices?” he suggests. Poppy shakes her head, not taking the bait. “No. You have to care. You have to care about everyone, even people you dislike, and you have to care so much that if feels like it’s killing you, you have to care and that care has to hurt, until the only thing that hurts worse than caring is not caring. To be good at this, you have to let it hurt you.”

“You two shouldn’t have bothered dressing formally for Albus, he’s a bitch.” Harry doesn’t have any idea what’s going on, but he’s loving it.  

“It was on the syllabus,” Zuko whispered conspiratorially to his mother. Sokka gasped. “You know I don’t read those!” “This is your own fault then.” “I like to be surprised. The procrastination keeps me humble.”

sometimes you remind me of the stars youre gorgeous and happy and can always brighten me on the darkest days and even when youre dampened you can guide me home

“imagine you are the only person who loves to play chess more than anything but nobody else in the world has ever heard about chess. and then you see a person holding a chessboard. it’s like your whole world was reborn”

"I wanted to be a stripper in middle school," Izuku said. Yup, that's a good cover.

What you’re asking for isn’t fair or right. You can’t ask a person for more than they’re willing to give

In Mei’s words, “You have about five minutes of ‘fuck that one thing in particular.’ Make them count.”

“Mei, let me introduce your new best friend. This is Momo. She has a Quirk that lets her make anything as long as she knows its composition inside and out. All you have to do is buy her dinner,“ Izuku said,

The cameras were looped. The bots were hacked. It was a good day to be a villain.

“None. The alarm never left the building.” “Really? Why is that?” “Mei finished first and decided to do you a favor. However, you've got the fire alarm just starting to go off and that's on a different circuit. Take a fast way down.” “Understood,” Hitoshi drawled. A moment later he was looking back at the crew. “Ladies and Frenchman. We take the express.”

Quinn is talking like that actually answers his question when it really, really doesn’t. “If you don’t start making sense, I’ll cry.”

“You’re one of my best students,” ze says. “You should understand the importance of timing. Speaking of, you’re late for your next class.”

Fuck, he totally is. “Thank you for that very confusing answer. I’ll think of you while crying myself to sleep.”

He’d wondered if that was what bravery was, to be quiet even when you were hurting so much you wanted to scream.

maybe bravery was also running screaming at the thing that nearly killed you, to keep it from killing someone else.

“Apologies are not difficult. Good apologies revolve around three basic points. One, I acknowledge what I did was wrong. Two, I regret that you were harmed. Three, this is how I plan to make sure it does not happen again. That’s all. Apologies are easy.” Then she’d glanced at them all again, evaluating. “And if you become very, very good at your job... they will be the absolute hardest thing you ever do.”

“Even though we’re a bunch of migraine-inducing hellions who are smart enough to know when something is a bad idea and stupid enough to still do it?”

“You’re like the nice china that Al only brings out for Christmas. Except Bruce just realised that I stole it, and chipped it. Maybe it’s time I give it back before I shatter all the pieces.”

she won’t co-parent my perfectly reasonable and well-behaved children.” Clark snorts. “Damian’s trying to stab Tim, right now.”

"Oh, my knight in shining armour. What would I do without you?" the teen droned, placing a dramatic hand on her head. 

"I think you mean 'knight in shining leather', M'Lady. And without me, you would be left alone in this kingdom of lies.”

"It's a kingdom, alright. It'll topple sooner or later." "That's the spirit!" Adrien laughed.

Here’s something that a harbinger of tragedy would never find the courage to admit: there are moments in between the bitter self-hatred and the visceral, tangible consequences of your sins in which you almost think you’re worthy of forgiveness; of second chances; of a life beyond your greatest regrets. It’s a unique brand of pain,

“Go directly to horny jail. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200.”

“You can’t wait around for him to be sorry,” Izuku says. He’s quiet now. This isn’t something that’s meant to be shouted. “Maybe he’ll never be sorry. Maybe he doesn’t know he did anything wrong, or he doesn’t care. It doesn’t matter.” Cautiously he takes a step forward. “You can’t depend on the people who hurt you to be the ones to make it better, or it’s never going to get better. They’ll only disappoint you, or hurt you even worse, and then they’ll be gone and you’ll be waiting forever.”

Midoriya may be strong as hell, but that just means looking out for him has to be a team effort.

How would his new adoring fans react if they knew he raised a villain? He's no All-Might. His pillar's made of toothpicks, and it's not gonna take much to crack it.”

Tensei approaches Rei, “Okay, this plan is childish, unprofessional, and a discourtesy to this school's reputation. That being said, when do we nail the little twat?

Hinata is dead. Deceased. Passed away, laid to rest with a headstone that reads Here Lies Hinata Shouyou, Killed By A Wink And A Blown Kiss.

It’s dangerous to be a bad father when you have life insurance

[despressolattes]

CONSEQUENCES | CHAPTER EIGHT | LEGACIES/THE ORIGINALS

BOOK THREE IN THE SIDE CHARACTER/LILAH SERIES

book one masterlist » book two masterlist

this book’s masterlist

< previous

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

In his state of half-consciousness where he kept drifting in and out of being awake, Roman was able to mumble the address of the apartment complex he had been staying at. Lilah cursed herself softly as she drove with him, trying to figure out when she lost her mind as to go against something the Mikaelson siblings were doing.

Sure, in the past, they had their arguments about situations, but she had practically made a statement to them with her latest decision. It was like she was choosing Roman over always and forever.

She pulled her car into an empty spot on the street in front of his complex, pausing as she looked at him, barely awake in her passenger seat.

"Which room?" she asked softly, hearing his light groans as he got to his feet. He blinked a few times, trying to keep his eyes open.

He mumbled which one to her, and she struggled trying to figure out which direction it was in. When she made it to the door, she asked, "Keys?"

"Front pocket," he said softly.

She cringed, feeling slightly uncomfortable as she dug through his front pocket for his keys. She got the door open and got him inside, letting him go when she got to his living room. He leaned over, laying down. She looked down at her arm that had been holding him up, noticing blood that she hadn't noticed before. His back must've been cut up, which means her car seats needed a cleaning.

She sighed and wandered around until she found the bathroom, going inside and washing her arms. She opened a few cabinets before finding towels, grabbing one so she could get Roman cleaned up.

Before making her way back to him, she walked into his fridge. She let out a breath of relief when she saw that he had blood bags. She grabbed one, going over to the couch that she also realized might be stained with blood.

That's one thing that sucked about being a vampire that gets hurt with vervain. It takes a bit longer for their wounds to heal.

She got back to the couch, sitting him up.

"C'mere," she said softly, pulling his shirt up and off, discarding it behind her. She sat next to him, having him lean forward as she looked at his back. There was fresh wounds, as if they had hit him with something laced with vervain. She winced, placing the wet towel she had onto it, and he jerked forward at the contact. "I'm sorry."

She placed the blood bag in front of him, knowing how the Mikaelsons were the type to try to drain people of blood. He snatched it from her, his eyes turning red and the veins around them turning black as he drank it up. His healing seemed to kick in with the help of the blood, and she continued to pat the dried blood off of his skin. The vervain marks on his arms were healing, and before she knew it, the wounds closed. He was just left with a back with dried blood.

He sat there in silence, fully conscious now. When she was done and the white towel was now a pink color, she got up. She grabbed his shirt from the floor, going to discard of the two, but he grabbed her arm, pulling her back to look at him.

He looked up at her through his long blond hair, and she could see him swallow as he tried to find the words to say.

"Why did you do that?" he asked her after a moment, the big money making question everyone seemed to want to know. "You probably pissed off the Mikaelsons."

"They'll get over it," Lilah replied. "And I don't know why I did that. Josh said that they had you, and there was a voice in my head that decided I wasn't leaving until I got you out of there."

He let go of her wrist, and she wandered through his apartment, finding his bedroom. She placed the bloodied shirt and towel into the trashcan in the master bathroom, before looking at the picture frame sitting on his bedside table, sitting in front of a teddy bear.

She picked it up, looking at it. It was him and Antoinette, the vampire that Elijah had fallen in love with once upon a time, when the Mikaelsons had the Hollow in them. He had moved to France without his memories, where he met her.

"I'm sorry I lied to you."

She jumped, nearly dropped the picture frame. She placed it back down, looking behind her to see shirtless Roman walking inside, going to his drawer to grab a new shirt.

"Why did you?" she asked. "Why did you tell me your name was Roman Bauer?"

"Because I thought you'd react the way the Mikaelsons had," he replied. "I'm a Sienna, my family's done bad things."

"Join the club, Roman Sienna. I run with the Mikaelsons, notorious for doing bad things," Lilah exclaimed back, sitting down on his bed. He sat down next to her. "Just answer this: did you play a part in Hayley's death?"

Roman looked down, slowly nodding.

A tear fell down Lilah's cheek that she wiped away quickly.

"Greta and Antoinette were my adoptive family. I had lost my family to werewolves when I was little. And Klaus killed my adoptive dad because of his ideology that werewolves were bad, and he had been killing them, but Klaus spared my mom, my sister, and I. When I got desiccated in a cave for fifty years, Greta looked for me everywhere and saved me. So, as time went on, my mom had a vendetta towards Klaus and a hatred for werewolves," he explained.

"And Hayley was a way of hitting two birds with one stone," nodded Lilah. "Cared about by Klaus Mikaelson and a werewolf."

"She wanted to get rid fo all of the hybrids," Roman continued to explain. "She told me that Hayley would go free. That she'd just have a witch suppress her werewolf side. I was told she was going to live."

"But she didn't."

"When I found out my mom lied, I tried to reason with her," Roman explained.

"That's why Rebekah saw you in New Orleans two years ago. Because you were helping Greta."

"She actually wanted me to get close to you," Roman told her.

Lilah's face scrunched up in confusion.

"Why me?"

"A gorgeous vampire about my age that's close to the Mikaelsons without actually being one?" he replied, and Lilah blushed. "She thought you were the perfect entrance into taking Hayley."

"But I never met you."

"I told her I wouldn't do it," Roman replied. "I saw you, Josh, and that witch Davina walking down Bourban street, the smiles on your guys's faces. I heard from Emmett and the other vampires of the constant drama and bloodshed in this town that you guys had to endure for that family. I couldn't be the reason you were apart of more."

"Hayley was one of my best friends," Lilah said, tears still falling from her face. "I helped her through her vampirism transition. I helped her with her boy problems. Did Antoinette know about any of this?"

He shook his head, "Antoinette was happy in France with..."

"Elijah," Lilah nodded, wiping her face.

"Do you blame me? For what happened to them?"

She shook her head, tears still falling down her face as she relieved her grief for Hayley and Elijah after hearing Roman's story.

"No, I don't," she shook her head, and she stood up trying to collect herself. She took a deep breath and looked back at him and said, "If I blamed people for the actions of their family, or even just things they did in the name of family, I wouldn't love the Mikaelsons. I mean... I love the fuck out of Elijah and Freya, and they had killed Davina at one point. There's unforgivable things that the Mikaelsons have done that I have forgiven them for because I love them. I can't just hate you or blame you for something you didn't even do, I can't just write you off like that. It wouldn't be fair."

Her phone rang, and she looked at it to see it was Davina calling.

"I have to handle this," Lilah said to him, and he nodded. She walked out of his room into the living room, placing her phone to her ear. "How much trouble am I in?"

"We're just trying to figure out where your head is right now, Lils," Davina said on the other side of the line. "Roman's mom killed Hayley, and you barely even know him."

"And Klaus killed Roman's dad," Lilah sighed. "I understand that we all love Hayley, but we also know that people's family does shitty things. Kol forgave his siblings for what they did to you, didn't they?"

"Just stay safe, Lilah," Davina said. "Rebekah's pissed off that you 'dared defy her,' and she's talking like Klaus."

"It's okay, Bex will calm down eventually," replied Lilah, not scared for herself. Even if Rebekah was mad at her, Lilah knew Rebekah couldn't kill her.

"Is this boy worth it?" Davina asked her. "You just met him."

She looked at the hallway, the answer leaving her mouth before she could even think about it, "Some voice in my head keeps telling me he's one of the good ones."

She walked back into Roman's room after she and Davina hung up. Roman looked up at her as she ventured further into him room.

She looked back at his bedside table, picking up the bear that was next to the picture frame. She held it in her hands, something about it so familiar yet so foreign. She closed her eyes involuntarily when she grabbed it, seeing a glimpse of of a fuzzy image.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

"Tonight, you stay on the call with me. We just talk tonight, and you can stress about everything, but in the comfort of your own room," a distorted voice said.

She was looking down at a computer screen, but unable to make out who was on it as she laid down comfortably on her bed, in a room she didn't recognize.

"Thank you," she said. Her hand reached for something, and she the only thing she could recognize in whatever she was seeing was the teddy bear, moving one of the arms to wave at the camera. "Bear and I, we miss you."

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

"Where'd you get this?" she asked.

Roman stared at it, blinking a few times with a dumbfounded expression.

"Honestly?" he asked, grabbing it and looking at it with furrowed eyebrows. "I have no idea."

He shrugged, brushing it off and reaching over her to put it back behind his picture frame.

"Are the Mikaelsons going to find you and stake you for helping the enemy?" he questioned her, and she shook her head no.

"Don't worry about me and the Mikaelsons. I'm included in Always & Forever."

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

She got home late, leaving Roman after she was positive that he would be okay. When she walked into her bedroom, she nearly had her third heart attack of the day when she saw Lorelle sitting there, in the dark yet again, but this time, on her bed.

"What the hell?!" she whisper yelled. "Why do you keep breaking and entering into my places?!"

"I'm your mother, Lilah Rae, I can do as I please with your places," responded Lorelle.

Lilah rolled her eyes and scoffed, closing the door shut. She would be lying if she said it didn't strike a chord in her heart to hear Lorelle call herself her mother, or for her to refer to her as Lilah Rae.

"You haven't been my mother for over a thousand years, don't start now," Lilah grumbled, standing against her door as she eyed the woman. "What do you want?"

"Our conversation was cut short earlier when you went to save your little boy toy from your aunts and uncle," responded Lorelle.

"He's not my boy toy."

Ignoring her disdainful attitude towards her, brushing it off like it was nothing. "I don't really know what you want to discuss, Lorelle."

"You. Us. What your life was like," Lorelle responded. "How you became a vampire."

"What my life was like?" questioned Lilah, trying not to shout and wake Josh. "Gee, mom, my life was horrible, thanks for asking. Constantly on the move, constantly without freedom, constantly wondering what a parent's love felt like. And I had that with Freya for a sliver of a moment before I got my childhood stripped from me and became a vampire. Then I was desiccated for a few centuries, and when I finally worked up the courage to be close to my father and his family, he gets ripped away from me. And the past two years are really fuzzy in my head, and right when I start to see photos with some girl I don't know, you show up out of the blue."

"What girl?" Lorelle asked.

Lilah huffed, wondering how that was the only part of her rant that Lorelle fixated on. She stomped towards her dresser, pulling out a picture frame and shoving it into Lorelle's face. "This one! This girl who is in so many photos with everyone I love, and none of us even know her name."

"None of you remember her?"

"No, and I'm starting to wonder if you and your vampire-siphonerness had something to do with the memory loss," Lilah accused. Furiously, she asked, "Why was I found in Mystic Falls, Lorelle?"

Lorelle blinked a few times, holding the picture frame, speechless at Lilah's whispered outburst.

"I don't know what to say, child—"

"I am not a kid, I'm over a thousand years old!" Lilah exclaimed, squatting so she was in Lorelle's face. She huffed and stood up, backing away from the siphoner vampire. She ran her hairs through her hair, tugging on it as she tried to calm herself down. She opened her bedroom door, motioning for Lorelle to leave. "Thanks for the mother-daughter bond, I have to sleep now."

Lorelle quietly got up, and before she made it past the threshold, Lilah grabbed her wrist.

"Oh, and you better not out our secret to the Mikaelsons. I doubt they'd be pleased with you to hear that you hid Elijah's daughter from them twice."

Lorelle looked at her, analyzing her face after she made the threat.

"You sure got that Mikaelson rage with a bit of Julson stubbornness, that's for sure."

"Weird, I'd like to think I'm all Mikaelson, since they're all I ever knew."

Sadness took over Lorelle's face at the statement, and she walked out of the apartment quietly.

Lilah closed her door, letting her body fall down the wall and to the floor. She sat there in the dark, attempting to catch her breath as her mind processed what had just happened. She knew that it wasn't Lorelle's choice for her to grow up without her, without any of the Julsons, but it didn't make any of this any easier for her. It was sort of like what she assumed Niklaus had felt when they found his father, a feeling of attachment and resentment towards the person all at once.

She remembered all those years ago, when Dahlia had finally turned her and then desiccated her, how she had looked for any trace of her family when she came out. Finding the Mikaelsons in the 1500s was difficult with the fact they were always on the run from Mikael, but there was at least whispers in the wind about them. Nothing about the Julson line. Like they had just stopped with her, which she wasn't surprised about really.

Despite feeling guilty about the way she had been reacting towards Lorelle, it didn't stop her from giving her the cold shoulder. At the end of the day, Lorelle Julson wasn't the parent that Lilah had been hoping and trying to get back.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

CHAPTER NINE

DISCUSSION BOARD (answering these in my asks makes me happy hehe)

· most of how roman was really "out of it" despite being a vampire comes from TVD when caroline's dad tortures her and she has marks along her body even though vampires heal, because he used vervain and her mom had to give her blood bags when she and tyler rescued her.

· why do we think lilah feels like she needs to protect roman?

· the bear he has is the same exact bear from aftermath chapter twenty-eight, the one lilah holds when she video calls roman the night before the miss mystic falls pageant!

· lilah and lorelle's dynamic here is very strained. i know that it's kind of "weird" that she hasn't told the mikaelsons who she is or that she just doesn't accept her mother, but if we remember anything from book one lilah, she was very put to herself before she had met hope. she had no desires really to be apart of the mikaelsons, she just liked to watch them from afar. so if it took her a thousand years + hope to tell the mikaelsons who she was, ofc it'll take her even more time to tell lorelle now that hope just doesn't exist.

· what do we think about the white oak coven?

· do we think lilah and freya are going to find a way to bring back elijah, hayley, and klaus?

· people who read this on wattpad have been expressing their want for a "lilah in tvd" type au (which is so fun because this book in itself is already an au hehe) so i was thinking i might write one! it'd technically be book 4, but occur before side character?? but readers have wanted it for a while so lmk your thoughts! she'd be in mystic falls when the originals are there since she follows closely behind her family, and then ofc she'd see stefan and damon who she once had a life with, yadda yadda yadda. katherine was her best friend for a while, so there'd be that dynamic i could explore. it wouldn't be a prequel since in this timeline, lilah doesn't ever meet stefan again or is active in the mystic falls drama, so it'd be a whole separate timeline just with lilah and her story.