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roosterforme · 7 months

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Beer Boy and Sugar: The Second Lost Year (Bradley Bradshaw x Reader)

Part of the Lost Years series for Beer Boy and Sugar

Warnings: language, longing, angst (series fits chronologically between Old Habits Die Hard and Right Girl, Wrong Time)

Banner by @mak-32

Year Two

Bradley dropped down on his bed and started to untie his boots while Nat looked around at everything on his desk. They were both about to start flying solo now, and it was such a relief that she was advancing in the program with him. It brought him a little bit of joy every time they left the others in the dust.

"I always liked this thing," she remarked, poking his Navy desk lamp as he set his boots under his bed. "You said it was your dad's, right?"

"Yeah. Makes it vintage," he replied with a grin as he lounged back on his pillows, already thinking about dinner in the mess hall. It was hot as hell outside, especially by Rhode Island standards, and it made him miss Virginia a little bit. "Are you ready for dinner?"

She groaned. "It's too hot to go outside and walk all the way to get food. Your air conditioner works better than mine, too. Can't we just stay in here?"

His stomach growled as he said, "All I got is some protein bars and instant mac and cheese. And I'm starving."

Nat started to poke at the book he was currently reading as she said, "I'll order us a pizza."

This was something he'd never get used to, even though he considered her his best friend. She always seemed to have money from her parents, and he had basically nothing. But she continually offered to share her food with him. Bradley wasn't exactly sure what he brought to this friendship, but she seemed to enjoy having him around, so he didn't bring it up.

"Fine," he agreed.

This seemed to make her happy as she fished her phone out of her pocket. "You want your usual topping choice?"

Bradley froze with his fingers pushed back in his messy hair. At first, he always ordered his pizza that way, because that's how you liked it. Now Nat thought it was his preference. But maybe it actually was?

"Yeah," he replied softly. "Please."

Then he listened to her call it in while his thoughts drifted back to Virginia. He hadn't seen or heard from you in fourteen months, but he'd thought about you every single day. It hurt a little less now, but all the feelings were still there. He still looked at all the pictures he had saved on his phone. He thought about you when he touched himself. He still hadn't slept with anyone else since you.

"Why would you keep a differential equations notebook from UVA?" Nat mused, but he was barely listening to her as he thought about your body curled up against his while you wore his Grateful Dead shirt. "Did you even take advanced math?"

When he finally registered what she said, he sat up in his bed and saw her holding your purple notebook. The one with all the doodles and love notes in the margins, and he felt like he was back in the study room with you on his lap. The breath was knocked from his lugs as a sheet of loose, folded paper fell onto her lap, and she picked it up and started to read it out loud.

"Dear Beer Boy,

I'm bored in my calculus lecture, and I just started thinking about your bedroom door. It's still the hottest thing I've ever seen in my life. Maybe you and I could wait until the middle of the night when all of your fraternity brothers are asleep and sneak out into the hallway and-"

Bradley lunged out of bed and grabbed the note from her hand before she could see the rest. "What the fuck, Nat? That's personal!"

Her dark brown eyes were as wide as saucers as she said, "That was from her."

He knew she was kind of mystified by you, given that he only shared details of the happiest months of his adult life sparingly. She always asked for more information when he mentioned you, always wanted to know more. But Bradley felt like the magic would wear off the more he talked about you, so he always kept it brief. He also knew he wasn't going to get away with saying nothing right now.

"Yeah," he grunted, taking the purple notebook from her hands and returning the folded note to the back pages. The sight of your handwriting filled him with a deep need for you. "And this was her notebook."

Nat's voice was gentle, as if she was trying not to spook him when she asked, "Why did she like your door so much?"

Bradley closed his eyes and laughed quietly. "I painted over all the other girls' names and phone numbers. For her. Or for myself. I don't really know anymore."

Now her eyes were narrowed when he looked at her again. "'All the other girls'. Holy shit, Bradshaw. Were you some sort of fuckboy in college?"

He leaned back against his pillows again as he groaned, "Basically." He didn't really like thinking about it, because that hadn't been him for a long time now. "Before Sugar."

She took her phone out again, and Bradley desperately wished the pizza would arrive so this conversation could end. But Nat asked, "What was her last name again? I want to know exactly what she looks like."

He whispered the word, loving the feel of it on his tongue as he took his own phone out. He located the picture of him with his arm around your shoulders that Dev took the week before graduation. Your smile was too pretty, and your face was too perfect. There was a reason he had to limit himself, and the onslaught of feelings was proof of why: He wasn't over you yet.

"Here," he muttered, stretching his arm out to hand his phone to Nat, but she gasped as she looked at her own phone.

"She's gorgeous. I found her Instagram account."

"You did?" he asked, launching himself off of the bed and forcefully switching phones with her. She gasped again as she looked at the photo on his phone, but Bradley was too busy staring at the tiny thumbnail of your smiling face. Your account was set to private, but this photo must have been more recent. Your hair was styled differently, and the only thing he could process was that he felt relieved you were posing alone instead of with some other guy. He didn't want to have to put a face to that.

He thought about taking a screenshot and texting it to himself, but he couldn't. He wouldn't. And when Nat asked if he wanted her to send you a friend request, he said absolutely not. "You think I want her to know I still think about her every day? No."

Then she said, "But maybe she still thinks about you."

Bradley didn't see how that was a possibility.

The pizza finally arrived just then, and Nat stood to go get it. She gave him a cautious hug and said, "I think she would be proud of you." She left him alone with both phones in his hands, and somehow he knew it would be easier to talk about you now if he wanted to.

------------------------

It was mind blowing. Three months ago, Chicago was freezing cold and practically encased in ice. Now it was blazing hot to the point that you couldn't get any relief unless you were inside your dorm room. It was Friday, thank goodness. Everyone in your graduate studies group wanted to go out for deep dish pizza tonight, and you had to figure out a way to stop sweating long enough to actually get dressed in something other than the shorts and tank you were wearing now.

You groaned as you carried your computer and textbooks across campus in your backpack. You had the highest grades out of all of the math graduate students, but you still took everything with you everywhere in case you had some extra time to study. But you should have left everything in your room instead on this sweltering day.

The quad was packed with tables and students participating in a career fair, but for some reason, this was where Jared asked you to meet up. Four dates with him, and you still weren't convinced it was a good idea to take things out of the friend zone. Four dates, and you still didn't really want to do anything besides kiss him. It wasn't that there was anything wrong with him, he just wasn't exactly right.

"Hey!"

As soon as you heard Jared calling out for you, your initial reaction was to hide. You were absolutely going to have to tell him you didn't want to see him anymore, and it mostly made you mad that it would probably disrupt your friend group.

"Hi," you replied as he squeezed through the crowd to get to you. And then he slipped his sweaty hand in yours, and you actually cringed. Why wasn't this what you wanted? After nearly a year, he wore you down enough that you gave it a try, but this was decidedly bad. Especially since you could picture exactly what you did want.

When you looked up at Jared's face, your gaze drifted to your left. You gasped and dropped his hand immediately. There were recruiters from the Navy. They were wearing flight suits. You caught a glimpse of wavy brown hair and a flash of dark eyes, and you were off.

Jared was calling after you as you fought through the crowd, catching glimpses here and there of broad shoulders and a handsome smile. Oh my god, he was here. Somehow, he was here. Like he'd just climbed out of your dreams and into the University of Chicago campus.

"Bradley!"

Your voice rang out, but he didn't fully turn your way. You rushed a little faster, no longer caring if you knocked someone into one of the tables.

"Bradley!"

But you stumbled as you reached the recruiters, and your smile evaporated from your lips. Tears stung at your eyes as he turned to face you, leaving your heart filled with disappointment.

"Hey, there. I'm Lieutenant Chapman," he said with a grin, and you honestly didn't know how you could have been mistaken. His eyes were hazel, and his hair was too curly, and now you were standing there feeling like you'd just broken your own heart all over again. The disappointment could smother you if you let it.

You nodded and turned away as sweat dripped down your chest and an awful feeling settled into your stomach. You made your way back through the crowd at a much slower pace with no real desire to talk to Jared, but you reached him all too soon.

"What happened?" he asked, grabbing your hand again.

You looked at the ground and tried to hide your tears as he squeezed your hand tighter. "Sorry. I thought I saw an old friend."

He just made an impatient noise and asked, "You ready to go get changed and grab some pizza with everyone else? I thought we could ditch them early and maybe go back to my room and watch a movie? And like hang out... on my bed?"

His voice was distressingly hopeful. You wanted to say no. You knew you should. But you kept your eyes fixed on the ground as you said, "Sounds good," with almost no conviction. You wanted to get past this, so you needed to actually start trying.

-----------------------

Make it stop hurting. Or don't. I don't know. They must both already know they belong together. Let me know if you'd like to be tagged in the rest of this series!

@beyondthesefourwalls @thedroneranger @cherrycola27 @sorchathered @mamachasesmayhem @attapullman @bobgasm @desert-fern @startrekfangirl2233 @shanimallina87 @sylviebell @wkndwlff @horseslovers2016 @sadpetalsstuff @schoollover @jessicab1991 @lex-winchester @bellaireland1981 @sagittarius-flowerchild @marvelouslyme96 @trickphotography2 @goldenseresinretriever @rascallyrascals @auroracaroline @nerdgirljen @redbarn1995 @theweekndhistorybook @averyhotchner @moon42flight @eli2447 @lyn-js @na-ta-sh-aa @mygyn @je-suis-prest-rachel @kcloveswrestling @imnotcreativeenoughforthisblog @callsign-magnolia @eternalsams @lynnestra44 @shinzowosasageyoooo @tgmreader @princessofglitterland @backupbrii @avada-kedavra-bitch-187 @averyhotchner @hookslove1592 @callsigns-haze

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omppupiiras · 17 days

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a quickkkk rough translation if anyone's interested:

"I put ketchup on almost all foods"

Artist Jere Pöyhönen is not a morning person and he uses the snooze-button, and you shouldn't ask for cleaning tips from him. In his daily life he tries to avoid unnecessary complaining, because at the end of the day things are pretty good.

In the morning when I wake up, I hit the snooze button and keep laying in bed. Sometimes I snooze for 1-2 hours if I'm not in a hurry to get anywhere. I am for sure a night person, so my mornings are slow.

For breakfast I usually eat porridge, to which I add peanut butter and honey, and with it I have a cup of berry tea. Breakfast is something I've tried to get better at, because when you're in a rush it's easy to skip it.

To me it's a luxury to spend relaxed time with my close ones. The best thing is to spend a slow evening with friends, for example a barbeque party. Friends and food - there's no better combo!

I get inspiration for cooking from my mom. Mom likes trying different foods, and everytime I visit I grab a few recipes for my backpocket. Last time I made a chicken and potato casserole dish inspired by my mom.

In my shopping basket you'll often find chili-cheese-sausages and an energy drink. The latter I've tried very hard to consume less. They're not good for your teeth or wallet.

My specialty dish is thai mince meat with rice. For seasoning I use oyster sauce, garlic, sugar, basil and chili. When I was younger I liked to bake a lot, but I stopped when I moved out on my own.

I wish I'd learn to eat more regularly, every few hours. When your job is being on the move, sometimes the times between meals get too long. When you're hungry it's easier to snack on treats, like chocolate and chips.

My normal home evening ends in front of the TV either on the living room couch or in my bedroom. Usually I always watch a tv show or a movie before bed.

My best money saving tip is buy discounted food items at a good price. Then it's handy to immediately put them in the freezer at home and cook later.

I scrimp on bread toppings, like cheeses and cold cuts. I'm not brand loyal with them and usually choose what i grab first.

I get fancy with my glögi, I am its biggest consumer! It's my favorite drink and I have it all year.

My everday superpower is that I don't take things too seriously. Everyday I am grateful for what I get to do for a living, and I don't ever take it for granted. In general I think it's good to avoid complaining too much and try to keep a positive mindset: at the end of the day things are pretty good.

I clean at home about once a week, but I admit, I could be better. I don't spend a lot of time at home, so sometimes my clothes get everywhere and the dishes get piled up in the sink. You shouldn't ask for cleaning tips from me!

My guilty pleasure is squirting ketchup in mince meat soup. It tastes excellent in there. In general I have ketchup with pretty much all foods.

My Pirkka hack is using baking soda to get rid of stains. It's especially great with textiles. With baking soda I've gotten rid of many stains and dirt off of the couch.

#käärijä #PHEW that was a lot of words #with probably a lot of typos but i aint proof-reading this no sirrrrrr #also he's just like me fr i'm always going on about everything you can use baking soda for lmao #baking soda is the answer to a LOT of things #also jereeeeee let's bake together you should get back to it!!

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fatecantstopme · 1 year

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From Past to Future

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader

Summary: After you and Bucky break up, you end up engaged to Steve. What happens when Bucky comes back into your life two years later?

Warnings: So much angst. Cheating, cursing, use of pet names. Some fluff. SMUT, unprotected sex (P in V), slight choking, metal arm kink (choking kink)

Two Years Ago

"Why are you always pushing me away?"

"It's better for you," he said calmly.

"Who are you to decide what's best for me?"

"I know myself better than anyone...I know my past. I know what kind of monster lives inside of me, so if anyone is equipped to decide you're better off without me, it's me."

"Don't I get a say in this?"

"No."

Anger threatened to bubble over. "I can't live like this, James. I can't. I would do anything for you, but I can't make you see that I can handle everything about you, including your past. I'm not afraid of you, but I'm afraid I'm going to lose myself if I keep fighting you like this."

He nodded slowly. "It's better this way."

"How can you be so calm?" you yelled. "Do I really mean so little to you? Did the past year mean nothing?"

He had the decency to look ashamed. "You mean everything to me, that's why I have to let you go."

Tears streamed down your face, a mixture of rage and pain clouding your features. "That is the stupidest thing I've ever heard."

He simply shrugged.

You hastily grabbed your jacket, keys, and purse before heading towards the door. You turned back to look at him one last time. "I hope you heal, Bucky, I really do. But I won't be around to see it."

You turned and left the apartment, shutting the door behind you. It felt final, as if you'd just shut the door on your old life. You'd left a piece of your soul in that apartment, a piece you prayed you could learn to live without.

**********

One Year Ago

"You are such a dork."

He grinned ear to ear with pride. "That could be the nicest thing you've ever said to me."

You laughed warmly and rolled your eyes. "What are you talking about? I'm always nice to you."

He raised his eyebrow teasingly.

"Alright, alright. I'm mostly nice to you."

He chuckled and tugged you against his chest. "I'll take it."

You giggled as you leaned back against him, gaze wandering out towards the ocean and the beautiful sunset beyond it. "Have you ever seen anything so beautiful?"

"Every morning."

You looked up at him in confusion.

"I'm blessed to wake up beside the most beautiful woman in the world every day," he said almost reverently.

Your expression softened and you turned to face him, putting your back against the balcony railing. You reached up and caressed his face, eyes shining with emotion. "Steve..." you whispered.

He placed a single finger to your lips to silence whatever you were about to say. He ducked his head to kiss you and you sighed as you melted into him.

After a few moments, he took your hand and guided you back through the open door and into the bedroom.

"I love you," he murmured against your skin as he laid you down on the soft bed.

"I love you too," you said softly, before you got lost in each other for hours.

**********

Two Months Ago

"Seriously? The wedding is in three months!" you yelled into your phone.

Your best friend, Natasha, came into the room when she heard you yell. "What's wrong?" she mouthed at you.

"Well the dress is pretty damn important, don't you think?" you seethed.

Natasha's eyes widened. "What's wrong with the dress?" she asked aloud.

You pulled the phone away from your face. "The tailor lost it."

"What the hell do you mean they lost it?"

You put the phone on speaker so Nat could hear. The man on the other end of the phone was explaining some sort of snafu with the dress and the shop moving locations.

Nat took the phone from your hand. "Let me handle this, okay?"

You sighed and nodded, grateful that she was there to take care of at least some of the wedding issues. Steve had been traveling a lot for work, so the wedding planning had fallen almost exclusively on you. If it hadn't been for Natasha, you were pretty certain you would have lost your mind.

The doorbell rang, bringing you out of your thoughts. You weren't expecting anyone, but you'd been getting a lot of deliveries lately thanks to the upcoming wedding.

You opened the door without checking to see who it was and the moment your eyes focused on the person standing on the porch, you found yourself wishing you'd looked first.

"Hey, (Y/N)."

"What are you doing here?" You winced slightly, the sound of your voice a bit harsher than you'd intended.

"I deserve that," he admitted softly. "I, um...well I heard you were getting married."

You stared at him in shock. "I'm sorry...you heard I was getting married, so you decided it would be a good idea to pay me a visit?"

He looked uncomfortable. "Yeah, well--umm, when you put it like that, it doesn't sound so good."

"You think?"

Once again, the harshness of your voice made you feel terrible. You knew exactly why you were being rude, but you couldn't bear to admit it to yourself. You hadn't expected to see him again, and certainly not like this. What was worse was you hadn't expected to feel like this when you did. Your palms were sweaty, your heart was racing, butterflies danced a merry jig in your stomach...you hated yourself for the emotions that washed over you at the mere sight of him. Hating him too made it that much easier.

"I just, I guess I just wanted to see how you were doing," he mumbled.

"I'm happy, thanks for asking. You can go now."

"(Y/N)..."

"No," you snapped. "No. Don't say my name like that. Don't you dare."

He looked down at the ground and muttered, "I'm sorry."

When you didn't say anything, he looked back up at you.

"I'm sorry, (Y/N). For all of it." His words began to come out in a rush, as if he was hoping you wouldn't have time to interrupt him. "You were right. You were right about all of it. I'm sorry I pushed you away. I'm sorry I hurt you. I thought I was doing the right thing, but I wasn't...and you--you deserve an apology. Even if it's two years too late."

Your heart clenched in your chest and tears pricked at the backs of your eyes. You were struggling to find the words to say, to fight through the storm of emotions swirling around you, when Nat came to your rescue.

She appeared beside you, took one look at the man standing on your porch, and said, "I don't know what the hell you're doing here, James, but you need to leave. You have no place in her life anymore...not after all the pain you caused her."

Bucky's blue eyes darkened with sadness. "I know," he said softly. "I just wanted to apologize...and say goodbye."

He turned and began to walk down the stairs. You watched him make his way to his bike before you ran down the steps after him. "Bucky!"

He turned to look at you in surprise. You'd stopped at the bottom of the steps, but he could see the emotion on your face as clearly as if you were an inch from him.

"I forgive you," you whispered so softly he almost missed it. If he hadn't been a super soldier, there was no way he would have heard you.

He nodded his acceptance--his gratefulness--before getting on his motorcycle and driving away.

"You okay?" Nat asked softly as she reached the bottom of the steps.

"Yeah," you lied.

She knew you well enough to recognize the lie, but she also knew better than to push you. When it came to Bucky, you'd always been vulnerable. You'd loved him with everything you had--a kind of fierceness she'd never seen before or since. She'd hoped Steve would change that...that loving him would help you forget Bucky, but when she looked at your face in that moment, she knew you'd never stop loving him.

**********

Present

"I'm getting married in a couple weeks," you said with a sigh. "Can you even believe it?"

"Yeah, babe, I can believe it," Natasha teased. "How excited are you?"

For the first time, you were grateful she wasn't there with you. "I can't wait," you lied. You hoped your voice conveyed excitement, even though your face did not.

"Are you sure you're alright?" Nat asked for the third time in your 20 minute conversation.

You groaned into the phone. "Nat, I'm fine. Now can you stop worrying about me and go enjoy your vacation?"

"It's not as fun without you here," she pouted.

You laughed. "I know, I know. I'm the life of the party."

She laughed too. "I miss you and I'll be home in a couple days."

"Miss you too. Give my love to Bruce."

"I will. Love you."

"Love you too."

You hung up the phone and leaned your head back against the sofa. You hadn't felt right in weeks...not since Bucky Barnes had shown up unannounced on your front porch.

You hated how he made you feel...hated that even after everything, you still loved him. You were engaged to be married to another man for God's sake, but here you were crying on your couch over a relationship that died two years prior.

You hadn't mentioned anything about Bucky's sudden appearance to Steve. You didn't want to upset him...or at least that's what you told yourself. Seeing him had brought back years of emotions you'd buried long before. You didn't think you could explain any of it to Steve without him realizing what you'd been denying for two years: you still loved Bucky.

You'd managed to convince yourself that it was okay to love two people at once...because you did love Steve. You really did. But you would be lying to yourself if you said you loved him more than Bucky. You were grateful you didn't have to choose between the two. You were marrying Steve and that's the way it needed to be. Steve loved you so much and he treated you like a queen. How could you want anything else?

A knock on your door brought you out of your thoughts. At least this time you were expecting a delivery, so you didn't think twice as you opened the door.

"Bucky..." you whispered.

He was standing there, flowers in hand, blue eyes warm and gentle.

"What are you doing here?" you asked softly.

"I needed to see you."

"Bucky, you can't be here."

"Please, (Y/N). Can we just talk?"

"I'm getting married," you said, less firmly than you'd intended.

"I know, doll. That's why I need to talk to you."

Against your better judgment, you turned to the side, allowing him entry.

He stepped past you into the foyer and handed you the flowers. "Um, these are for you."

"Thank you," you said softly. "I'll just...get a vase."

He followed you into the kitchen. "Your home is beautiful."

"Thanks."

He stood awkwardly on the other side of your kitchen island, hands at his sides as if he wasn't sure what he should do with them.

"So...what did you wanna talk about?"

"Us."

"Bucky, we can't--"

"Just let me get this out," he begged. "If you hate what I have to say, you can throw me out...but just listen for a moment."

Tears welled in your eyes and every sensible part of you screamed at you to make him leave, but you couldn't force yourself to move--couldn't say a word.

He took your silence as permission to speak. "When we first met, I was a broken shell of the man I used to be. My past was still so fresh in my mind and I hated myself more passionately than any person should. When you came into my life, I desperately wanted to be the man I was before Hydra...but I couldn't. I was scared of hurting you, scared of what I was capable of and what I might do to you if I lost control. So I pushed you away...until you finally got tired of it. I don't think I'd ever had a broken heart before that day."

Tears streamed steadily down your face as you listened to him speak. You were still frozen in place, his words gluing your feet to the floor.

"It took me a while to realize I could never be that man again...that young, carefree, charming guy. I figured if I couldn't be him, then I was just the monster Hydra made me. All that was left was the Winter Soldier." He paused for a moment. "I didn't want to be him, but it wasn't until I was in Wakanda that things really changed...I changed."

"You were in Wakanda?" you asked softly.

He nodded. "For a while, yeah. I dealt with a lot of my issues and I don't have to fear the trigger words anymore...they have no effect on me. But it wasn't until I received my pardon that I started going to therapy. At first it was because I had to, but after a while, I wanted to go...it was helping me in ways I didn't know I needed. I'm not the person I was before Hydra, but I'm not the Winter Soldier either. I'm just a different version of me...but at the end of the day, I'm still Bucky."

"I'm glad you got the help you needed, Buck. I truly am," you said softly. "But what does any of this have to do with me?"

"I'm getting to that," he answered quickly. "Losing you hurt me infinitely more than I expected it to and at first I wanted to get help so maybe you would want me..." he trailed off for a moment. "I eventually realized I needed to change for myself, not for you. I'm by no means perfect, but I am comfortable with who I am now."

He sighed and ran his hands through his hair. "Look, I know my timing is terrible, but I need to say this or I'm going to regret it for the rest of my unnaturally long life." He took a deep breath before continuing, "I fell in love with you the moment I met you. I loved you every day of our relationship and every day since--I've never stopped loving you. I don't think I can--and trust me, I've tried. You've held my heart in the palm of your hand since we first met..."

Bucky took a step towards you, then another, then another, until he was mere inches from you. "You are my heart, (Y/N), and I don't want it back."

"What do you want, Bucky?" you whispered.

"You," he said simply. "You're all I've ever wanted."

You should have pushed him away. You should have told him to leave. Hell, you should have left...but you didn't do any of those things. You didn't pull away when he reached out to wipe your tears from your cheeks. You didn't stop him when he cupped your face in his hands. And you didn't fight him when he pressed his lips against yours.

Instead, you pulled him closer to you as you returned the kiss--the feeling of his lips igniting a fire deep inside you that you'd never felt with anyone else.

What began as a loving kiss, quickly turned to pure desire, a passion so explosive it couldn't be contained. You practically tore each other's clothes off, leaving a trail of clothing from the kitchen to your bedroom.

A tiny voice in the back of your mind told you this was wrong...that you should stop...but you ignored it. Soon, all coherent thoughts slipped from your mind, replaced by overwhelming pleasure.

Sex with Bucky had always been incredible, but this was so far beyond every encounter you'd ever had before. He was comfortable, confident, and so sure of himself--it was the sexiest thing you'd ever seen.

"Bucky," you gasped as he finally entered you after relentlessly teasing you with his mouth, pulling orgasm after orgasm from your body.

"Fuck," he grunted. "I forgot how good you felt."

"So big," you whispered.

He grinned. "Yeah? Well this pussy was made for me, baby. I could stay here forever."

You'd be lying if you said that didn't sound like heaven to you. He felt so incredible...every sensation felt heightened in a way you hadn't felt in years.

His cock brushed against your g-spot with each thrust, turning you into a moaning mess beneath him. "Shit, doll...you gotta stop squeezing me like that or I'm not gonna last."

You'd long since lost control of your body--it was acting entirely of its own volition by this point. All you could do was moan and gasp and dig your nails into his back as he plunged into you again.

Back when you'd first started dating, you'd told Bucky you wanted him to choke you with his metal hand during sex, something he'd vehemently refused to do. He'd been terrified of hurting you, but now as he looked down at you, he found himself wanting to try it.

He gently placed his left hand against the column of your throat, putting only enough pressure for you to know what he was doing. Your eyes widened before rolling back, a moan of need breaking free from your lips.

"You like that, doll?" he whispered.

You nodded rapidly.

He smiled and gave the tiniest squeeze to your throat. You gasped loudly and your nails dug into the flesh of his right bicep. He continued to fuck you as fast and hard as he could, left hand never leaving your throat.

He could tell you were close, but he didn't want you to cum until he did, so he waited until the very last moment before giving your throat another small squeeze. You screamed his name as you came, your orgasm triggering his own. He called out your name as he filled you with his seed, hand slipping from your neck to caress your face.

Bucky's stamina was truly a thing to behold even now. He hovered over you, lips pressed against yours in a heated kiss. Somehow, his cock was still hard, despite having just had the best orgasm in years. Instead of pulling out of you, he began to move again, your shared releases mixing together to provide extra lubricant.

"Bucky," you moaned softly. "What--"

"You didn't really think I was done with you yet, did you doll?"

The sensations began as almost painful, the sensitivity making it hard to enjoy. Within moments though, those sensations turned to pleasure and the need began to pool in your belly again.

"Do you want me to stop?" he asked teasingly.

"Don't you dare."

He chuckled darkly and sped up his movements, earning a pleased moan from you.

The two of you were so lost in passion and pleasure, neither of you heard the front door open. Even Bucky missed the telltale signs of someone walking through the house towards the bedroom door.

"What the hell is going on here?"

The sound of your fiancé's voice brought you suddenly back to reality. You wanted to sink into the floor and never come back out.

Bucky's first instinct was to protect you, but when he turned his head to look at the newcomer, he felt nothing but shame.

"Bucky?" Steve said in shock.

"I can explain..." Bucky began as he removed himself from the bed, grabbing a blanket to cover himself with.

You sat up, clutching the sheet to your chest, eyes wide as you stared at Steve. "Steve..."

"Don't," he snapped. "Don't you dare try to talk your way out of this, (Y/N)."

"It wasn't her fault--" Bucky tried.

"Save it. I know you were pissed at me for dating her after you broke up, so maybe I deserved the revenge," Steve said angrily. He turned his gaze back to you, hurt filling his beautiful blue eyes. "But you? I've done nothing but love you. I treated you the way you deserved to be treated...I did everything right."

"Steve, I'm so sorry," you whispered.

"That doesn't change anything." He turned to walk away and you jumped up to follow him, grabbing your robe on your way out.

"Steve, wait--"

"What do you think you could possibly say to fix this, (Y/N)?" he yelled.

You took a step back in shock. Steve never yelled. Ever. "I don't...I don't know..."

"Exactly." Tears pressed against the backs of his eyes and his voice was shaky. "It's over, (Y/N). I'm done."

You hadn't expected him to say anything differently, but it still hurt to hear it. You looked down at your left hand and saw the diamond ring he'd given you. You didn't cry as you slid it off your finger and handed it to him...nor did you cry as you watched him walk out the door and out of your life.

A few moments later, Bucky appeared behind you fully dressed. "(Y/N)..." he began.

You held up your hand to silence him. "Don't--just don't." You stared at the door your fiancé--ex-finacé--had just walked through. "I can't believe I ever thought I was a good person," you whispered.

"You are a good person," Bucky countered, taking a step towards you.

"Please just leave."

"(Y/N)..."

"Just go. I can't even bear to look at you right now."

Bucky knew better than to argue. He loved you more than anything, but he knew he'd made a mistake. He never intended to sleep with you...it just happened.

He shrugged his jacket on and walked out the door, leaving you on the other side of it. Your life had been shattered into pieces because of a choice you'd made...you and Bucky.

**********

"You did WHAT?!" Natasha yelled.

You'd called her a few minutes after Bucky had left to tell her what happened. "I slept with Bucky," you repeated.

"What in God's name were you thinking?"

"I wasn't," you whispered.

"Jesus, (Y/N/N)," she sighed. "Are you okay?"

"No."

"What are you going to do?"

"I have no idea. I managed to blow up my life in a single afternoon."

"It's not that bad, okay? We'll figure it out. Just...don't tell Steve."

"Too late."

"What?"

"He walked in on us."

"WHAT?"

You made the sound of an explosion, complete with hand movements she couldn't see.

"Okay, don't do anything crazy. I'll be home in a couple hours."

"Nat, don't cut your vacation short because of me."

"It's one day, (Y/N). Besides, you need me."

You wanted to deny it, but you really did need her. "Thanks," you whispered.

"You're welcome. I'll see you in a few hours."

**********

Two weeks had gone by since you'd slept with Bucky and broken up with Steve. Natasha had stayed with you for the first week...you were much too upset to be left alone.

You spent the second week by yourself...you needed the time alone to figure things out. Natasha had been helpful, but she'd also been upset with you for ruining things with Steve over Bucky. She'd always hated that he broke your heart.

As much as you loved Natasha, you knew you needed advice from someone else. You wanted to believe everything Bucky had told you, but you were too jaded to believe him without proof.

Steve was Bucky's best friend before the two of you had started dating and they really hadn't talked since. Bucky became closer to Sam Wilson over time and you knew they were best friends now. You decided Sam was the person you needed to talk to, so you called him up and asked him to meet you for lunch.

Sam hadn't been surprised when you'd called him...Bucky had told him everything that had happened. What did surprise him was that you wanted to meet up to talk.

He contemplated calling Bucky to tell him, but he decided it would probably be better to talk to you first. So he got himself together and went out to meet you for lunch.

You were already seated at a table in the back of the restaurant when Sam walked in. You waved him over and he took a seat across from you.

"Hey, (Y/N). How are you?" Sam asked as he sat down.

"Honestly, Sam, I've been better."

He was a little surprised by your candidness, and he wasn't sure if he should play dumb or admit Bucky had talked to him already. He opted for something in the middle of the two, "Bucky mentioned he went to see you a couple weeks ago."

"Did he say anything else?" you asked uncomfortably.

Sam knew better than to try and verbally lie to you, so he simply shook his head.

"He may have left some things out," you said softly. "Steve and I broke up."

Sam's eyes widened. He did his best to act surprised as he asked, "Why? What happened?"

"Bucky happened," you said honestly.

"What do you mean?"

You closed your eyes for a second...not quite ready to admit you'd done something terrible. "He shows up back in my life after two years and says a bunch of shit that I don't know what to do with. Who does he think he is? I was happy, Sam. I was getting married in a couple weeks!"

Sam sighed. "I know, (Y/N)...and I've known you for a long time, so I'm just going to say this: you were content with Steve. He never rocked the boat, never challenged you or upset you, never did anything to hurt you--but he also never made you laugh so hard you couldn't breathe, he never made you smile so wide your face hurt, and I know for a fact he never loved you the way Bucky does."

You stared at your friend in silence. You knew Bucky had loved you two years before and he'd professed his love to you mere weeks ago...what you'd spent two years denying to everyone including yourself, was how you felt about Bucky. You'd never loved anyone the way you loved him and as much as you cared for Steve, it never came close to how you felt about Bucky.

"It's okay to admit you still love him," Sam said gently.

"Is he different, Sam? I mean really, truly different? Because I can't--" you took a shaky breath. "I can't go through that again."

Sam shook his head. "He's not the same man he was before. You know how I felt about him when we first met...we didn't become friends just to fill some kind of void in our lives. I love the guy like a brother, but I would never lie to you (Y/N). You're family too."

You swallowed thickly. "Natasha says I should move on."

Sam waved his hand dismissively. "Natasha doesn't know Bucky like I do. She knew him before...she has no idea who he is now."

"I know," you whispered. "That's why I wanted to talk to you."

Sam cocked his head to the side. "You wanted to know if Bucky had really changed."

You nodded.

"Because you still love him."

"I never stopped," you admitted.

Sam offered you a gentle smile. "You should tell him that."

Your eyes were teary as you looked up at your friend. "I know."

**********

Two days later, you were standing on the front steps of Bucky's apartment. Your stomach was filled with butterflies and you were quite certain you were moments away from throwing up. You couldn't remember the last time you'd felt this anxious.

Your decision to come here had been spur of the moment and you suddenly regretted that decision. You'd hit the buzzer for Bucky's apartment, but no one responded. Like an idiot, you hadn't even bothered to check if he was home before coming all the way over there.

You turned around to leave, feeling like a fool, when you heard the door open behind you and a voice call your name. When you turned back around, Bucky was standing in the threshold, looking at you in surprise.

"Oh, I umm--I thought you weren't home."

He gestured to the call box. "The damn speaker is broken again, so you couldn't hear my response. I woulda buzzed you up, but that's also not working right..."

"Oh."

"Yeah," he mumbled. "So...what brings you by?"

You were one hundred percent certain he could hear your heart beating even without his super hearing and your breathing had become obviously shallow. You felt like an absolute moron standing on his front stoop, staring at him in silence. He was beautiful and it always took your breath away...even now.

"I thought we should talk," you blurted.

Bucky looked slightly surprised, but he nodded in agreement. "Why don't you come inside?" He turned to go back through the door.

When you made no move to follow him, he stopped and said, "Or we can just stand out here..."

You shook your head, partially in response to his statement and partially to clear your head. You didn't say anything, but you took a step towards him, so he turned to guide you up to his apartment.

"Sorry about all the stairs. I like being up higher."

"It's fine."

Once inside his apartment, he gestured for you to have a seat before heading into the kitchen. "Can I get you anything? Maybe something to drink?"

You'd never felt so awkward in your entire life and you knew you weren't going to be able to say anything you wanted to like this. "Do you have whiskey?"

Bucky chuckled lightly. "Always. On the rocks?"

"Is there any other way?"

He laughed. "Touché."

He brought you the drink and sat down on the couch across from you with his own. "Please sit, (Y/N)."

You didn't want to be any weirder than you already were, so you took a seat on the chair beside you. You took a long drink from your glass, almost draining it.

"Should I have made it a double?" he teased lightly.

You looked down at your glass in embarrassment. "Sorry, I'm just--nervous, I guess."

"No need to apologize," he said gently. "And no need to be nervous."

You laughed breathily. "I think I'll have to disagree on that one." You downed the rest of your drink and sat the glass on the table in front of you.

"Would you like another one?"

"No--I uhh, I think one will be enough."

He nodded. "So...what did you wanna talk about?"

The speed with which you'd ingested the whiskey ensured you felt it almost immediately. You took a deep breath, allowing the liquor to calm your nerves. "I wanted to talk about what happened."

"When?"

Your eyes snapped up to his. "Seriously?"

"Ahh...so this is about the other day."

"Yeah, Bucky, it's about the other day. Ya know, when I cheated on my fiancé with you and broke his heart? That day."

"His heart? Not yours?"

You didn't appreciate the tone in his voice, so you snapped, "No, you managed to do that all on your own."

He sighed and sat his drink down. "That was two years ago, (Y/N)."

"Doesn't mean it doesn't still hurt."

"I know, and I'm sorry. Hurting you was never what I wanted. But we needed to be apart and the only way that was going to happen was if I hurt you. You just wouldn't leave," he finished softly.

"Because I loved you, Bucky! Is that really so terrible?"

"No, of course not. But I never would have gotten the help I needed if you hadn't left me...if I didn't have a reason to get better."

"I wasn't reason enough?"

"You were my reason and that was the problem. I needed to do it for myself and I couldn't do that if you were there."

You were quiet for a moment. "Leaving you was the hardest thing I ever did, James. I didn't think my heart would ever heal."

"How'd you think I felt when you got together with my best friend?"

You winced. "It just sort of...happened."

He sighed. "I wanted you to be happy and if Steve was the one who made you happy, then I had to accept that. But that's why I left, (Y/N). I couldn't stand to be in the same city as you two anymore. The possibility of running into you was too painful to risk."

"I'm really sorry, Buck. I didn't do it to hurt you."

He looked up at you with soft eyes. "I know that. It's not in your nature, nor is it in Steve's. You can't help who you fall in love with."

"I missed you...so much, and Steve--Steve understood how that felt. Better than anyone."

"Did you love him?"

"Yes."

"Were you really planning on spending the rest of your life with him?"

"Yes."

"If he hadn't caught us...would you still be marrying him?"

"I...I--I couldn't. I can't. It wouldn't be fair to him. Not when I feel--what I feel."

"And what do you feel?" Bucky asked softly.

"Bucky..."

"Please."

You sighed heavily. "When I first got together with Steve, I still loved you more than anything. Over time, I suppressed that love just enough that I could open myself up to loving someone else. After a while...it got easier and easier to pretend I felt nothing at all for you. And then you barged back into my life."

Bucky didn't say a word, too scared to stop the flow of emotions coming from you.

"You barged in and you brought all of those emotions back to the surface. You made me remember everything I'd ever felt for you--and I wanted to hate you for it. I wanted to hate you so badly, but I couldn't. I can't find it in me to hate the person I love the most. I never fell out of love with you, Bucky, I just hid it really well."

He wanted to speak, to say something to acknowledge what you just said, but he couldn't find the words. Instead, he got up and came to stand directly in front of you, before kneeling down and grabbing your hands in his. "I think this is the moment where I'm supposed to say something deep and profound, but all I can think to say is, 'I love you too'."

Tears filled your eyes. "That's more than enough," you whispered.

He pulled himself up slightly so he could reach your face. He gently pulled you down towards him, kissing you with a loving intensity that set your soul aflame.

Loving Bucky Barnes just felt right, as if it was all you were ever meant to do. He was the love your life and being here with him in this moment reminded you of how good it felt to be in the arms of someone you loved with every part of you.

When you'd left Bucky two years ago, you'd left a piece of your soul with him, a piece you'd worried you wouldn't be able to live without. You'd learned how to, but it wasn't the same--you weren't the same.

For the first time in years, you felt whole--complete. If life was a giant puzzle, Bucky was your missing piece. And in the darkness of his bedroom, wrapped in his arms, you made a promise to love him forever--a promise he returned in kind.

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x reader smut #bucky barnes smut #james buchanan barnes #marvel smut

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shaynesthetic · 7 months

Text

The only thing I think I got right | Luke Castellan

Word Count: 10.2k

A "Better Unknown" AU oneshot

Main Series: Better Unknown

Pairing: Luke Castellan x Minor God! Half-Blood! Gender Neutral MC

Synopsis: Out of everything that Luke thought he fucked up his entire life, Y/N leaving him where he stood was the ultimate fuck up he wishes he hadn’t. How can he fix this? And will he be able to?

Tags: Two idiots, mutual pining, Best friends to lovers, fluff, angst with comfort

Warning: Little beta- reading, foul language

Banner by @/cafekitsune

A/N: Hello once again! This was a last-minute idea that's why I'm a little late. Happy Valentines Day! Or belated Valentines' Day if it's already the 15th for you like it is for me. Once again, English is not my first language so apologies for any grammatical errors. Critiques are always welcomed.

A/N: Also, I correct some stuff whenever I see fit sometimes. So if anyone sees any errors, no you didn't. Also also, as of February 16, 2024, I have updated the ending.

It was the month everyone either despised or loved; It was Aphrodite’s month. A.K.A Valentines. February was always Camp Half-Blood's busiest month. With nymphs making sure every tree was lush and perfect, satyrs helping Demeter kids with preparing and picking the ripest strawberries, Aphrodite kids running around the camp supervising preparations for a feast to be held in honor of their mother alongside some Hermes and Hephaestus kids who were tasked on helping them, with a small fee of dessert that is.

Half of the campers were hanging out with their friends today, grateful that they could finally have a day to themselves, either by canoeing on the lake or having picnics in front of the beautiful views the Hill can give them. Younger campers made heart-shaped letters in the arts and crafts center to send to either their parent or the person they wanted to confess to. Others were practicing the lyre, particularly the Apollo kids, who were asked to help serenade confessing individuals, once again, with a small fee of their food portions, drachmas, and other privileges.

Then there was Y/N. Along with some Ares kids, they were on the training grounds, passing the time. It wasn't that Y/N was a bitter gremlin on Valentine's or anything, it was just that they treated it just like any other day. Why need a day to celebrate your love for others when you can do that every day? Was their philosophy. Truth be told, ever since their mom's passing, they just didn't see the point in celebrating. But that was before coming to Camp Half-Blood. They didn't celebrate arriving in camp either, don't get them wrong…but at least they weren’t alone. It wasn’t like the Ares kids were bitter gremlins either; they just didn’t care. Well, they claim they don’t. But you’ll have to take their word on it.

Y/N was with Clarisse and one of her other siblings, Mark, who insisted on joining them. Clarisse was helping Y/N with the spear, also with a small fee (why would anyone work for free nowadays anyway?). They have been sparring for a few hours, and none have yet to let down. Perks of being the Ares kid and a minor god, respectively. Another sparring session commenced and Mark just watched as their sibling and Y/N hit blow after blow with each other. The clashing of wood and iron made the air sting with adrenaline, and both took advantage of it.

The dropping of the spear took Mark off his apparent disassociation, and the scene came into view. Y/N was on the ground, with Clarisse pointing a spear to their neck, one minor move from Y/N and Clarisse could nick them. Y/N, out of breath, smiled and looked up at the girl, before nodding and raising their hands in complete surrender. "Alright, Clarisse. You got me." The child of Ares cackled victoriously at them, Mark in the background cheering. Y/N got up and brushed the dust off their clothes.

“You’re kinda getting good. You still suck but the sparring’s getting you somewhere.” Give it to Clarisse for giving compliments, if you can call it a compliment. But Y/N took it as one. It was a rare occurrence for the Ares cabin’s head counselor to give compliments to other cabins, but for some odd reason, Y/N was an exception. Well, it wasn’t THAT odd. Y/N and Clarisse were best friends, and other campers find that awfully odd. But to Y/N, they were odd to begin with and everything in their life, from the Gods to prophecies to quests are too, so who cares? Being friends with the biggest bully and their other siblings in the camp was the least of their worries.

Y/N rolled their eyes at Clarisse before shoving their hands in their jean pockets, making their way to a hay bale, and plopping down on it. Clarisse sat next to them, looking at the spear in their hands. “Any plans for the Goddess of Love’s Day?” Y/N asks out of the blue. Clarisse only stared at them before she started laughing with malice. Is it malice? Y/N couldn’t tell.

“What do you think, Ease?” Clarisse smirked as Y/N blushed at the nickname. It was a nickname given by Y/N’s other best friend, Luke, the son of Hermes. It was a nickname to embody what Y/N was to Luke, as he claims. Ever since the duo came back to camp after a particularly harrowing quest, Luke never had any troubles with sleeping and claimed Y/N had everything to do with it. Y/N begged to disagree, although they weren't going to admit he was right. Ever since, that nickname stuck like glue. Luke took every second embarrassing them with the nickname. It secretly infuriated them, but Y/N knew it had to be endearing, so they let it go. Y/N had a weird set of friends, who would never get along they think, but Y/N didn’t care. A friend was a friend.

Clarisse, unfortunately, one day had the fortune of hearing Luke call them that. It was during one of the sword fighting training sessions with Luke, and he, out of either pettiness or wanting to embarrass the hell out of Y/N, called them up to be their test dummy sparring buddy. It went smoothly at first. Y/N wasn’t new to Luke asking them to be his sparring and demonstration partner whenever both Y/N’s cabin’s itineraries and his time as a teacher coincide, which doesn’t happen that often, but when it does Luke took advantage of it. Regardless, Y/N did it for Luke. And Luke was always ever so grateful for it.

After a few demonstrations from Luke, the real sparring commenced. Y/N knew they had no leg to stand on and was awfully aware that Luke was the best swordsman in Camp Half-Blood. There was no way in hell they’d beat him. It was a short spar and before they knew it, Y/N was on the ground, a scene Y/N was all too familiar with to the point Y/N might as well befriend the ground they walk on by how much accustomed they were to being face to face with it.

Luke smiled at Y/N as the tip of their sword was right in front of their throat and Y/N rolled their eyes. "You okay there, Ease?" he asked, offering their hand for them to take. Y/N partially accepted the offer, before their eyes widened. The nickname wasn't supposed to go out to everyone else. They looked at the crowd before them, Apollo kids, Y/N's cabin, and unfortunately, Ares kids and Clarisse. Shame and embarrassment became anger, and Y/N swatted Luke's hand before beelining to the exit.

Luke stood there stunned, not realizing the gravity of the situation. It took him a while to finally understand what he had done. Y/N had firmly asked them to keep the nickname between themselves. But Luke couldn't help it. He forgets himself whenever he's in front of them. It was like Y/N was his tunnel vision, and he forgot every ounce of autonomy and thought. He knew he didn't mean to embarrass Y/N but it slipped. And now, Luke had to ask for penance. It wasn't new for the two to bicker and fight, it was in friends' nature to do so. However, this was different. Y/N was the type to always prove a point, and they'd normally react with a malice-laced “What the hell does that mean?” or a very exasperated “What?”, but today was different. They left without arguing, and that scared Luke more than all of their heated fights combined. He swallowed from worry and nervousness before apologizing to everyone in the arena, also beelining to the exit. Clarisse was there to witness everything, and for once that day, she snickered.

Ever since that day, Ease had stuck in everyone's minds. Although no one dared to use it and stuck on calling Y/N their name, Clarisse would use it often to either taunt or tease them, there was no in-between.

"I hate you so much" Y/N begrudgingly says, looking far away from them. Clarisse's laugh roared as a response. "Does Mr. Loverboy have any plans for you both?” That got Y/N's attention. They tilted their head, trying to decipher her words. Clarisse, ever so observant, took that as an answer and sighed.

"He's such a fucking loser." Mark and Y/N's heads snap up, nonverbally lecturing the girl for the use of such…language. It was second nature to think Chiron was listening to them, and the look of disapproval from the camp director was hard to remove. The last thing they wanted was Clarisse getting in trouble or worse…dishwashing duty. “What? It’s true, isn’t it? That boy is in love with you and couldn’t get the balls to confess to you. He's stuck looking at you like a kicked puppy every time he even catches sight of you it's so damn annoying.” It was now Y/N’s turn to laugh, albeit it was more bitter than straight coffee. They knew it wasn’t possible. Y/N knew their feelings for their best friend were genuine but for some sick, twisted, sadistic reason, Y/N decided upon themselves to assume that it was one-sided, and thus made it their mission to lock it up and throw away the key. Even if they weren’t romantically involved, they were just happy for Luke to be a part of their life. Y/N has convinced themselves.

“I can’t believe I’m friends with idiots!” Clarisse raises her arms in frustration and annoyance, to both her best friend and Luke themselves. It was clear that they danced around their feelings and it was so fascinating that an Ares kid out of everyone saw that, out of all the kids in the camp. It was comedic, albeit sad, but comedic.

“Clarisse, you’re the only one who thinks that.” “Not really.” Mark immediately interjects. Y/N glares at the kid, Mark shrugging in response. Clarisse pumps her fist in the air and high-fives Mark in vindication. “Even the kid sees it, Y/N. Stop telling yourself it ain’t so because it is. Luke loves you and you love him. End of story.”

"I'm content that he's part of my life, Clarisse. Isn't that enough?" The last sentence came out in the form of a whisper, which even Y/N was surprised by. They tried to convince either themselves or Clarisse & Mark that that was the case. Why were they getting choked up about this in the first place? Weren't they content that he was part of their life? Y/N damns their actions for betraying their words.

“Look, just accept the fact you like Luke. Stop pretending and stop convincing yourself that you don’t. Let your feelings out.” Clarisse blurted out. Y/N couldn’t help but not stifle a laugh. “Since when did you become Aphrodite’s kid?” Clarisse jokingly punched their shoulder, a blush creeping in her cheeks. “Shut up.” The Clarisse that they knew, the one who hid her feelings well, embodied pride, arrogance & exuded bravery, and wouldn’t dare give any advice, less a confession, was back.

“Look, I’m just saying that you’re no better than Luke. You might be even worse than him. And I don’t like seeing my best friend sulking because they made their own bed and laid on it. Stop being stupid and accept the fact that Luke has feelings for you and you have to as well or I'll have to beat you with a stick just to get it through your thick skull."

Y/N spent the entire day looking for Luke, who was nowhere to be found in his normal stations. They asked all his siblings about his whereabouts but nothing. Na-da. Zip. It wasn’t like him to disappear. In a day they’d see wafts of his brownish-black curly hair in the crowd multiple times and knew it was him. Whenever they see him, it was as if he's the only one they can see.

They decided to look around the cabins once again. They bargained to themselves that if they didn’t see him that time, they’d just look for them at the dining pavilion later tonight or just assume he’s busy. They were so busy with their thoughts it took them a while to finally see the man of the hour. He was leaning against the Aphrodite Cabin, talking to a girl. The girl was blonde, and her height was the same as Luke's shoulder. Louise Clifford-Jacobs, Y/N remembered her name. They were one of Aphrodite Cabin’s kindest members. Y/N wasn’t close to them but they’ve talked once in a while and they’ve heard nothing but kind words from everyone around her. They were laughing and the girl was giggling, excitement drawn on her face. She notices Y/N approaching him and she taps Luke's shoulder before pointing to their direction.

Luke looked away from her and saw Y/N, smiling and waving. Luke offered them what seemed like a smile and a hand raised. The smile was something Y/N noticed approaching him. It looked as if it was out of nervousness or tiredness, Y/N couldn't pinpoint which one. It looked forced and was nowhere near Luke's actual smile.

Still, Y/N flashed a big smile at Luke, happy that they finally found him after that unnecessary scavenger hunt to locate him. “I’ve been looking everywhere for you. You weren’t in the Sword Fighting Arena and your siblings didn’t know where you were”

Luke shifted on his feet, hung his head down, and put his hand on the back of his neck. “Hey, Ease. Yeah sorry ‘bout that I had a lot of things to do. I’ll make it up to you soon. Honest!” Y/N nodded their head in understanding. “Oh yeah!” they exclaimed, remembering why they were looking for him in the first place. “I was gonna ask you something. Do you have a second?” Luke began looking between them and Louise. The air suddenly felt thick as tensions and awkwardness rose as if Luke was caught between a rock and a hard place. It seemed as if Luke made his decision when he responded, "Oh shit, sorry Ease I'm in the middle of something with Louise. Do you mind?"

The smile on Y/N’s face dropped and a forced hard line formed on their lips. “Oh. Oh okay. No worries. If it’s important I can ask you some other time. Bye Louise!” Y/N quickly walked away with hands in their pockets. Y/N felt a pang in their chest, and their heart began to beat more rapidly than normal. They didn’t know what they were feeling. Sadness? Disappointment? It seemingly wasn’t Y/N’s Day, but they convinced themselves that it was because Luke was busy, considering he was Camp Counselor after all. Yeah, that’s what it is. Y/N tried to rationalize what took place. However, Y/N evidently came up short.

It had begun to be a daily occurrence it seems, Y/N finding Luke, asking if they could talk or hang out with them and him disregarding them, brushing them off, or telling them they're busy. Just like it became a sudden everyday occurrence, it also became a nuisance and annoyance to Y/N. Once can be brushed off as a mere coincidence but multiple times in a week? Now, that wasn't a coincidence. It had become clear to Y/N: Luke was avoiding them. But why? Did they do something to upset Luke? Couldn’t be. Was it? It didn’t make sense to Y/N. It didn’t make sense to poor ol’ Annabeth either, whom Y/N found solace in. They felt bad and shameful, talking to a literal 13-year-old about stuff they should be dealing with on their own. But Luke was Annabeth’s brother, and Annabeth knew more about him than Y/N would ever in their lifetime. So, it made sense that Y/N would approach her.

"I could've sworn Luke was walking back and forth from the beach. I've seen him there multiple times a day. Even at the lake with the canoes, I'd see him too. He always looked nervous and his hands were clammy. He was very jumpy too. Whenever I’d ask him, he’d brush me aside, force me off his case, and make me return to the Athena cabin.” Annabeth explained one day when they asked about their sibling’s whereabouts. Y/N was slowly getting frustrated, not at Annabeth but at the lack of answers. Who wouldn’t be? Your best friend, out of the blue, began ignoring you; without offering any answers, without explanation. Anyone would go insane just thinking about it. Y/N felt they had no one else to blame but themselves.

Y/N felt despondent more and more every day, and it wasn’t hard to notice. Their signature smile was gone, they weren't eating much, and aloof. Their cabin-mates noticed it too. They weren't their enthusiastic self and slugged around with their activities for the day. Their siblings, wanting to distract them from whatever caused their unorthodox behavior, asked if they wanted to do hand-to-hand combat or forge weapons in the camp forge, which was what Y/N liked doing the most, but was met with a shrug and a distant stare off into the abyss.

It wasn't just their cabin that got the brunt of Y/N’s melancholy. Half of the population in the camp did. Their beds weren't as comfortable as they had gotten used to. Campers began feeling awful emotionally waking up, some had dreams that caused nothing but dejection and misery. Some Aphrodite kids even woke up feeling nothing but heartache, even though it was supposed to be their month. Everyone was affected, and regardless if Y/N knew of this or not, that wasn’t a matter to them that they cared enough about to fix. Selfish? Probably is.

The last straw was on a random Tuesday when once again, Y/N looked for Luke. They once again, like clockwork, looked everywhere for him. They finally found them near the Hermes cabin, talking to his half-siblings. Approaching them, they sensed that Luke wasn't in the best of moods, with his back tensed than usual and their siblings looking as if the ground was far more interesting than their older brother's lecture. The two, who they later found out were the Stolls, noticed Y/N approaching. Connor (Y/N thought it was Connor but they weren’t sure) looked at Luke before directing his eyes towards Y/N. Luke's eyebrows scrunched up before looking at what had gotten the Stoll siblings' attention. Y/N, with hands behind their back and with a thin line on their lips, greeted Luke.

Before Y/N could greet them, Luke stopped them. “Listen, Y/N. I know you wanna hang out with me and tell me whatever this is you want to tell me. I get that. I see that. But please, not now. I’m in the middle of something here.”

Y/N’s eyebrows furrow in sadness and in turn look at the Stolls. Y/N, who has been patient with their best friend, just wasn’t having it. Out of either frustration or desperation, Y/N spoke. “I know that and I understand that. Being a camp counselor is hard work, especially with these ruffians trying to tear down every wall in the cabin.” Y/N tried to lighten up the situation, earning a snicker from the Stolls, who weren’t their intended audience. Luke just stood there, his face still the same, albeit more unamused than before.

“But you have to relax for once. You’ve been at it for days now so I was won-““No.” Luke immediately interjects with hints of venom laced in his teeth. Y/N’s breath hitched. This was the first time in their life they’ve heard Luke speak like that. He was usually this nonchalant, chill dude. Serious when needed but a stand-up guy. Today wasn’t the normal Luke. No, it was something else. It made Y/N’s spine tingle with fear. It also made the Stolls’ back straightened.

“C’mon, Luke. I know you’re working hard but-""I said no, Y/N. Gods above, can’t you please just listen to me once? I’m busy. Please. Leave.” Y/N gulped, looking back at the Stolls before looking back to Luke, whose eyebrows furrowed and scar making him all the more menacing. Y/N immediately left, locking themselves away in their cabin. They looked up, and just thinking about Luke’s tone and expression made them tear up. It was oh so wrong for Y/N to cry over someone, let alone a boy. But this was no ordinary boy no. This boy was special to them, and their expression of annoyance towards them felt like a stab to the heart multiple times, each time the intensity got worse and worse and as a joke, his expression kept removing the daggers only to put it back in.

This made Y/N’s overthinking tenfold. They have settled at the fact that Luke hated them, thought of them as an annoyance, thought of them as excess baggage. These thoughts overwhelmed Y/N and in turn, tears welled up in their eyes, cascading onto their pillow until they fell asleep. None of their siblings tried to bother them, eyes looking back at each other laced with sympathy towards their once exuberant sibling. Y/N ultimately missed lunch and dinner, and Luke noticed that day that Y/N was nowhere to be found. But ultimately decided not to do anything about it.

It was a Thursday when the downfall came. Y/N, who was feeling nothing but sadness the past couple of days, like a shift of tides, has inadvertently turned this sadness into something else; something much more dangerous and malicious: Anger. It was all of a sudden. Y/N woke up on the wrong side of the bed, and that’s when everything went to shit. Y/N’s anger poured over everyone in their cabin. Sammie, Y/N's bunkmate, asked them what was wrong. They were always there for Y/N and Y/N considered Sammie their closest sibling out of everyone. So, it was a surprise to all of their siblings when Y/N’s voice, filled with malice and venom, barked “LEAVE ME ALONE. CAN’T YOU SEE I’M NOT? FOR GOD'S SAKE JESUS ABOVE! ARE YOU STUPID OR BRAIN DEAD?” Everyone’s mouth hung open as they looked at each other, either out of fear or mere awkwardness. Y/N wasn’t the type to scream at anyone out of the blue. They were boisterous and loud, sure, but it was out of happiness and eagerness to wake up every day. But now, it was like a cloud cast over Camp Half-Blood, even though it never rained there.

Everyone stopped what they were doing to look at the scene in front of them. Y/N on their bed, blanket strewn about on their legs as they scowled at the now teary-eyed Sammie. Time stood still and the air got more and more heavy. Here was their zealous and exuberant sibling, who woke up and randomly just chose to pick a fight the moment their eyes opened. It wasn't like them. But no one knew what caused them to snap. Someone had to step between them and Hayden, one of the older members of the camp, guided Sammie away from Y/N before they further angered them. Essie, another one of their siblings, glared at Y/N.

Y/N, with everyone's eyes on them, finally was hugged by clarity's warmth and their eyes softened. They looked around to see their siblings looking at them with the expression of either disgust or shame, and Y/N couldn't stand to be around their siblings. They tossed their blanket aside and went out of their cabin, head down.

Maybe walking could clear my head. Y/N thought. So, they walked. And walked, visiting every place you can go to in camp, rinse and repeat. They felt like a soulless traveler, wandering aimlessly around. Lifeless and tired. As they began walking back to their cabin however, a familiar voice tried to stop them. They tensed up, realizing it was Luke, the same boy who had been ignoring them for days, who now had the utter audacity to come up to them as if nothing had happened.

Y/N, more infuriated than before, turned around to look at the boy. He was in a smiley mood, creases formed on the side of their eyes. This was Luke’s signature smile that he knew Y/N loved, but unfortunately for him, today wasn’t the day it’d work on them. They glowered at Luke with intense fury in their eyes, and Luke, at that moment, wanted nothing more than to be sucked in by a black hole from where he stood, even though they had no idea what had made them furious like that. In the years of knowing Y/N, Luke knew they had that specific look whenever they were furious, that one that made you want to eat dirt or bury yourself alive. It wasn’t a normal occurrence, which made the intensity of the look way worse. And whenever they did show it, regardless of how many times they’ve done so over the years, it always felt like the first, and Luke always shuddered seeing it. He wasn’t thrilled when his Ease was upset. And in years of knowing them, knew not to mess with Y/N during their spouts of anger, but what Luke wanted to tell them was very important to both of them, Luke thinks, and assumed it’d make Y/N’s mood better, just like every other plan Luke had for them when they were mad or upset. In hindsight, this was probably the worst decision Luke has ever made.

"Hey, I was looking for you. Do you have a second?" Luke put his hands in his khaki pants' pockets and smiled at Y/N. Luke's nonchalance made Y/N's expression turn from anger into disbelief. Did he actually believe that Y/N, whose face is red with anger and disgust towards Luke's actions for the past week, would just come around and entertain Luke's question? Certainly, no one would. Disbelief turned into fury, and Y/N's hands turned into a fist. They approached Luke, and for a minute Luke smiled. Tunnel vision once again washed over Luke, and unfortunately for him, he failed to see Y/N, who without hesitation, swung at him.

Luke was on the ground in an instant, shock painted across his face. He felt for the side of his lip, which was now cut open and oozing with blood. If Y/N was in a better mood, they’d take a picture of Luke’s expression and hang it up so people would gawk at it. But alas, Y/N didn’t have a camera, and they weren’t in the mood for stupid jokes, let alone Luke’s.

“You really have the gall to ask me that? After what you’ve fucking done?” Y/N’s every step was filled to the brim with resentment, each step might leave and burn a permanent mark on the ground. Luke wasn't looking forward to what Y/N was gonna do to him. And Luke, in all of this, was painfully unaware of what he had done, as evident by the clueless look he had, which infuriated Y/N more.

“You, Luke Castellan, are the stupidest, shittiest, and the most pathetic excuse of a man I've ever met in this entire lifetime. You ignore me for days, brush me off when I try to talk to you and act like I don't exist. You are just as cruel as the Gods. No, scratch that. Even worse. If you didn’t wanna be friends anymore you could’ve just fucking told me instead of you acting like you don't see me.” The anger in Y/N seemingly dissipated, replacing it with another just as intense if not more emotion: Anguish. Y/N's eyes were now filled to the brim with days' worth of unshed tears, it was as if the dam inside their heart finally burst. Luke finally, by the grace of God, realized the critical error they'd made. They didn't mean to leave Y/N in the dust like that, but Y/N didn't know that. It was his fault for not communicating with them about it. He, upon seeing his best friend, with tears in their eyes and anger and other pent-up emotions over the days splattered in both their face and actions, knew he had morally fucked up. Luke Castellan, who was very much aware of how many times he had fucked up in his life, who was so used to seeing the consequences of his actions, for seemingly the first time, was now so blissfully aware of how unaware he was of the damage he’d done. The last thing he wanted was to make Y/N feel anything but happiness. He never wanted to hurt them or make them cry. They swore one day years ago that until they died, they wouldn’t make Y/N feel that way. To be alone. To be abandoned, like the Gods did. Luke had always been angry at the Gods for ignoring them and didn't want anyone, especially their best friend, to feel that way after everything that had happened to them. But like the Gods, life was cruel like that, and promises were sometimes made to be broken. And Luke failed. Yet again. He did. At that moment, he realized just how much anguish and pain he had caused. Luke's expression softened and regret was now sprawled across his face.

Y/N raised their fist towards Luke, and he closed his eyes, expecting a second punch to land on his face. I deserve it. he thought. But he waited and waited until…nothing. Instead, Y/N's fist faced the ground, and their head was down, tears dripping onto the dirt they were now kneeling on. They gripped on their pants like a lifeline, as they shook with rage. Luke, fully grasping what was happening, tried to approach them and touch their hand. But as soon as he tried, Y/N moved away from him. At that moment, you could hear Luke's heart shattering into millions of pieces. He'd officially ruined it. Just like everything he touched.

Y/N stood up and wiped the tears that were threatening to spill from their eyes. Their hair was a mess, shirt rippled as if it wasn't ironed and their hand was now a little bloody from the punch to both Luke's face and the contact with the Earth. Y/ N looked at Luke with malice, and Luke unconsciously stepped back.

“Stay away from me, Luke Castellan. If you know what’s good for you, I advise you to do so. Never ever talk to me again. Go fuck yourself. We’re done.”

Relationships end, that was a given. Love was silly like that. Breaking up and losing who you thought was your forever was one of the saddest heartaches you can get in life. That was universal knowledge. But Luke, at that moment, knew that that wasn't the case. To him, the most heartbreaking thing was to see their best friend walk away, just like that. They essentially gave up on him, and Luke had nothing to blame but himself. The one person who he knew wouldn’t give up on them, did just that. Friendships come and go, and over time and unexpectedly, they can break off. And all you can do is accept and move on. That was natural. But this wasn’t something Luke didn’t want to just accept. He knew this one’s reason wasn't natural. And it had one reason: him. Luke Castellan. Son of Hermes. A fuck up.

Luke laid on his bunk bed, contemplating. This had been going on for two days already. Luke waking up and doing nothing but brood and contemplate. Nobody in the cabin bothered him, aside from Chris who stepped up as temporary camp counselor for him and updated him once in a while about what they did that day, and his other younger sister Mia who cleaned up his wound upon seeing him enter the cabin, dazed and hurt. He would kill just for Y/N to say something to him, to scream at him, do something instead of the cold glares they have given them when they reach the dinner pavilion or even as they walk near their cabin. For some reason, Y/N always knew they were there, and it pissed them off even more. The silence between them was deafening, and Luke hated every minute of it. It wasn't rare for the two to fight, Y/N was feisty and loved arguing, especially when they knew they were right. But the first time, when Y/N decided that they weren't gonna argue, got Luke shaken up and scared.

Luke had looked everywhere for Y/N that day. He knew he royally fucked up, calling Y/N by their nickname that they’ve agreed upon should be kept in secrecy. Put that in the list of things Luke has fucked up in the years of their friendship. Worry filled Luke’s brain. What if they went to the forest and got hurt? Luke wouldn’t forgive himself if that happens. He’s lost a lot of people in his life, and when Y/N came into his life, while ambivalent at first, later on promised to himself that he wasn’t gonna let anything happen to Y/N. He had sworn to protect them, even though he knew they didn’t need him. Luke was just about to give up, his nerves shaken as he anxiously thought of multiple what-ifs in his head, when he found them ultimately in the last place they never bothered to search: the campfire.

Y/N was sitting on the ground, hugging their knees. They were looking at the ground. Luke hesitantly walked towards them and sat next to them. The fire crackled as a girl, who was not older than 8, tended to the flames. He could’ve sworn he's never seen this girl in the years he’s been here but that didn’t matter. Y/N sensed someone was next to them, and looked up. Luke sheepishly smiled at them and in turn, Y/N looked away.

Luke sighed and laid his head on their shoulder, closing his eyes. Y/N didn’t shrug him off, which was a good thing but they weren’t looking at him. They just sat there, the crackling of fire the only thing you could hear as it danced like two lovers in an intense dance for their lives. Silence went by minutes. No one dared making a sound.

“I’m sorry.” Were the first words that pierced the silence that surrounded them. Luke sat right up and looked at Y/N who was now looking at them with the most heavenly eyes Luke had ever seen. Their eyes were out of this world, it was as if planets and novas were encased in them. But what ruined it was the gloss. Not because of the glossiness of their eyes, but the cause of it. Y/N had been crying. And it was Luke’s fault.

“Why are you apologizing, Ease? It’s not your fault. It’s mine. I embarrassed you. I promised that I wouldn’t tell anyone about it. And now here you are, crying. I also promised I wouldn’t make you cry either.” He sighed before putting his forehead on their shoulder, closing his eyes. It was another minute before Y/N spoke again.

“It’s stupid, Luke. It was petty. And I made it a big deal by leaving. I shouldn’t have embarrassed you in front of the campers. I fucked up. I’m sorry.”

The pair looked at each other in lopsided smiles. “We’re both a mess, huh?” He looked at them again with the biggest and doofiest smile he could muster. Then, giggles. Giggling and laughter roared in the air as the two non-verbally apologized to each other. Hugs and jokes were shared that day in front of the bonfire. You couldn’t burn that scene whenever you tried. It was one of the best days the two ever had.

Emphasis on had. Luke thought. Now, he lays there, contemplating the bridge he’d burn from the one good thing in his life. What Luke couldn’t forget the most were their eyes, filled with hate and malice towards him. Seeing them like that felt like the entire world, his entire world, fall apart. And then they left them there standing, forced to pick up the millions of pieces he himself destroyed.

He knew he loved them; he really did. He could lie under oath and people would know he’s being disingenuous. He’d known for a while about what he felt for them. The way he looks at them from a distance as they laugh with their cabin-mates, a smile unconsciously creeps into his lips. The way their eyes drag towards them instinctively in the crowd. The way they put him over themselves and how much they accommodate him. Those were some of the things they loved about Y/N. And it took Chris and the entire Hermes cabin just to make him realize just how much of a love-sick puppy he was. Although he knew of his feelings towards them, just like Y/N though, they were both content in being part of their lives. Just like Y/N, He was scared that he might fuck up if they both got together, and he didn’t want to lose them. So, he convinced himself that keeping them in their lives platonically was the only solution they had. They were both idiots. Laughing at that now, Luke couldn’t help but slap himself in the face. You kept them platonically but you still fucked up. Way to go, Castellan.

He was surely convinced he was just okay to keep them in their lives platonically. He didn’t even initially plan anything on Valentine's Day. Just hanging out with them and doing nothing was okay for Luke. But as Valentine’s Day crept around the corner, Luke couldn’t help but think of holding their hand that day as fireworks sprayed in the sky, red and white lights dancing and looking down at them. He couldn’t help but dream of holding them in their arms, kissing them on the temple, smiling down at them as they both looked at each other in adoration. He knew he had to make a move, as both were as stubborn as mules. Y/N had always been the one to initiate everything. From hanging out to just lollygagging around camp. Y/N has always been there for him. It was always Y/N. Y/N. Y/N. He swears he could make their name a chant, just to immortalize this being he could’ve sworn was given to him by the Gods themselves. What did he do to deserve such an angel? He doesn’t know. He realized that for once in his life, He wanted to initiate something first. Not Y/N. Him.

He felt his heart ripping out of his chest, and at that instant, he knew he had to do something. At first, he couldn’t find Aphrodite kids who he was close enough to ask for advice since they were all busy with the Feast. But the Gods smiled down upon him that day, in the form of Louise Clifford-Jacobs. Luke wasted no hesitation asking Louise about what to do on Valentines, the perfect spot in Camp Half-Blood, the perfect food to serve, everything. He was so focused on planning he didn’t realize Y/N was next to him, the last person he hoped to hear him ask an Aphrodite girl about his plans for them. Looking at Y/N and their smile, Luke felt his heart beat in his chest. His ears turned red as the love of their life smiled upon them, like sun rays that greeted you in the morning. Y/N had wanted to ask him a question, and although he wanted to entertain it, he still had to plan their date. Luke knew he hadn’t had much time but he didn’t wanna make them leave. Sacrifices were needed to be taken, and Luke had asked them to leave. The smile that left Y/N’s face broke his heart, but he had to do something so that his plan wasn’t blown.

Luke watched as Y/N left and felt a pang, it was as if someone had shot them directly into his chest. Looking at Louise, they instinctively knew they had to make the date as special as ever.

But all the planning. All gone to waste because Luke had failed to focus on the one good thing he had. He was so intent on making the perfect date he forgot who it was for. And now Luke was just there staring into the abyss of the bunk bed, dejected that not only he lost his best friend, his grand plan was useless now. Maybe he could give the plan to Percy? He wasn’t sure anymore.

A knock on the door interrupted his brooding, and he sat up to see the last person he expected to see today. Clarisse La Rue, in all her Ares fashion, walked inside and sat next to Luke. She intently looked at Luke, anger pulsing through her veins. Luke gulps in response.

“I wanna punch you so bad, Castellan.” She started. “So, so bad. You don’t know how much you fucked up.” He flinched. He knew how hard Ares kids’ punches are, but Clarisse’s was deadlier. You could’ve hit him with a stone and it would hurt way less. She continues. “But I won’t.” Luke sat up, confused. If she wasn’t there to hurt him then what? Luke couldn’t wrap around the scenario happening right now.

“Clarisse, if you’re looking for Capture the Flag alliances, go look for someone else. I’m not in the mood to think of strategies nor care for any bartering you're gonna do.” Luke bluntly stated as he plopped his head on his pillow, covering his eyes with his arm. He hears the girl sigh. “As much as I would really like to make an alliance with you, I’m here for Y/N”

This caught the boy’s attention as he sat up again. He stares at Clarisse before she starts to speak. “Look, I’m probably the last person you’d expect to play cupid but goddamn you both are annoying as fuck. I’ll cut to the chase, Castellan. My best friend is fucking in love with you, they just couldn’t admit it because they’ve made their thick skull think they didn’t have a chance with you. It has gotten worse ever since you started your little game of ignoring them. Now, I know you like them too, the way you look at them makes me wanna vomit but whatever. And I know you didn't mean to ignore them. This is all just a big misunderstanding and Idiot 1 and 2 do nothing but brood and sigh all day. I for one think it's annoying as hell.” Clarisse sighs, reclining on the railings of Luke’s bunk. " The point is, I’m not gonna sit around and see them cry over some idiot. Now, get your sad, pathetic ass out of bed and tell me your plan so I can help.”

Luke and Clarisse indeed formed an unlikely alliance. Although not in Capture The Flag, it was for Y/N so it was the next best thing. Luke’s plan was simple: it was a simple dinner date at the camp’s gazebo, with the gazebo facing the lake. Luke used his abilities as a Hermes kid to smuggle in Y/N and his' favorite food. Clarisse, who had connections with Aphrodite kids through her other best friend Silena, had asked them to help Luke with his case. They didn’t hesitate, seeing that love and courtship was their forte. Louise and Silena lead the operation, Luke owing them big time for this. In all of the planning and decorating, Luke had gotten antsy. And Silena was getting rather annoyed. Using her charm speak, she had managed to calm Luke’s nerves. Sighs of relief echoed as Luke decided to sit as far away as the Aphrodite kids and let them do their jobs without looking like a strict supervisor.

Silena and Clarisse had known for a long time just how much the Hermes boy yearned for Y/N. In fact, the pair were taking bets on who would confess first, with Silena betting that Y/N would meanwhile Clarisse was betting on Luke. In the meantime, it seems like none of them were winning. And they wouldn’t like that now, would they? That’s why they agreed to help him. Though it was the second reason, the real reason why was sweeter, but they would rather be caught dead than admit that.

Whilst Silena and Clarisse helped prepare, they couldn’t help but look back at Luke. His leg wobbled up and down and he kept wringing his hands. Sweat was rolling down his head as his eyes shifted, while silent murmurs left his mouth. In the many years these two have known Luke, they have never seen him like this. He was the epitome of confidence, both in the eyes of his siblings and everyone in the camp. He was ever so self-assured with both his abilities in sword fighting and his abilities as Head Counselor. Yet here he was, a blubbering mess. It was definitely out of character for him. The two kept snickering every time they looked back at him, and they looked back at each other, rolling their eyes. This was definitely blackmailing material for the future.

That night on Valentines Day, the feast had commenced in celebration of the Goddess of Love. With everyone in the dinner pavilion, Chiron had shared their usual pleasantries, and just like clockwork, finally asked everyone to commence the celebration. Everyone was dressed in their best clothes and eating well tonight, courtesy of the Aphrodite cabin, kids who knew they helped in preparations can finally eat up and pat themselves on the back for a job well done. Couples from different cabins were allowed to eat next to each other, as their single siblings watched in horror and disgust. Burning of offerings had also commenced tenfold, with everyone thanking the Goddess of Love for a very successful day. As the celebration goes on, Y/N sat next to their siblings, half of them sitting with their loved ones, while the rest talk amongst themselves. They sat in the middle, aimlessly picking and playing with their food.

A cough took them out of their state. Clarisse, who was wearing her best red dress, and Silena who absolutely looked stunning in their off-shoulder dress stood next to each other, looking at them. Y/N in turn looked up at them, eyes filled with gloom. “Don’t tell me you’re gonna be like that the entire night, Y/N”.

“And what if I was?” They barked in retaliation. They were in no mood to bicker with the daughter of Ares. They weren’t also in a mood to celebrate this supposed-to-be happy occasion. Why would they? They just lost their best friend and the person they have been yearning for in just a week.

“Well, that’s no good now, is it?” both snicker at each other. They sigh before standing up, back hunched and their arms on the table. “Look, I’m really not in the mood to entertain pranks nor play with matchmakers, no offense Silena” she smiled and nodded back to them.

“Well good news. This is no prank. Silena and I decided that since you’re alone this Valentine’s you could come join us on a little singles bonding.” Y/N raised their eyebrow in suspicion. They had a hunch that whenever these two were together and involved, it wasn’t gonna be pretty. These two, besides them and Clarisse, are partners in crime. And when there’s trouble in the air, Clarisse and Silena are the main culprits.

Y/N sighed however. Despite not being in the mood, they had no plans whatsoever. They were, however, in an entertaining mood. There was nothing to lose. So, they humor them, albeit begrudgingly. They rolled their eyes and looked back at them. “Fine. What do you want me to do?”

The girls smile and jump in excitement. Seeing this commotion, they knew something was up. These two were planning something, and Y/N was mentally cursing themselves for agreeing. There was fire in Clarisse’s eyes, and in the many years they’ve known her, they knew exactly what this look was: Determination. A determined Clarisse was dangerous, that they knew. They would stop at nothing to get things done, regardless if it'd kill her or not. An over exaggeration on Y/N’s part but you get the point. But curiosity was a killer. And well, satisfaction will bring them back.

Silena dragged Y/N away from their table, no one paying mind to them leaving, while Clarisse pushed them forward. They walked and walked until they ended up in the Aphrodite cabin, desolate with no one but themselves. They dragged them to the cabin’s vanity table that was lined with different hair items and products, from hair gel to combs. Aphrodite kids were stacked, and Y/N anxiety never faltered.

“What the hell are you two gonna do to me?” they asked, voice laced with fear. Clarisse’s usual cackle filled the cabin, alongside the sound of a turned-on hair dryer. “Oh c’mon, Y/N liven up. It’s Mom’s Day. I’m giving you a makeover, of course. Courtesy of the entire Aphrodite cabin.” Y/N looked at themselves in the mirror and realized they look utterly horrid. Their hair stuck out in every direction; their eyes red from the constant crying. Eyebags evident from the lack of sleep. Silena was right, They thought. They did look like a mess.

“Think of it as self-care, Y/N. As the Head Councilor of the Aphrodite cabin, we are humbly your fairy godmothers for the evening. I’m gonna make sure you look perfect and stunning. Now. Face the mirror.”

Silena was right. Y/N did look perfect right now. They looked the best they’ve ever been ever since they entered camp, hell, even before they were homeless. One word can describe them right now and it was this: Ethereal. They looked like you could put them in Olympus and no one would be any wiser, no, scratch that, they looked more than just a God. They looked like a celestial being. Silena and Clarisse couldn’t help but gawk at their joint masterpiece and Y/N looked at themselves in the mirror, basking in their appearance.

Y/N couldn’t help it as a tear rolled down their cheek, which Silena tsked before wiping it off. “Someone who looks celestial tonight has no right to cry. Look at you!” Both Clarisse and Silena were now beside them, and they gawked once more at them. Their confidence skyrocketed ten-fold, and by God they didn’t think they were even capable of looking like so. They looked at both Clarisse and Silena, nodding at them, eyes closed, feeling ever so grateful for their job tonight. But they knew the night wasn’t over, and without hesitation, Clarisse took their hand and led them out the cabin.

It was a short walk and before they knew it, they reached the lit gazebo. Y/N’s eyes sparkled as they stared in awe at the decorations that littered it, fairy lights in little jars, red and white clothes draped at the roof of the gazebo. Food was on the rose petal decorated table, with a beautiful table setting with handkerchiefs folded into swans. But that wasn’t the only thing that was in there. A curly haired boy sat on one of the tables, dressed in a suit, looking down and twiddling with their thumbs. Luke. They thought.

All the happiness they felt have now dissipated, and fury once again taken hold of them. “What the hell is this?” They spat venom, and the pair couldn’t help but flinch in retaliation. Looking up, Luke saw Y/N, and he couldn’t help but gawk at them. Luke had always known Y/N was ethereal, but with Silena and Clarisse’s help, they were all of a sudden out of this world. It was as if Y/N embodied Aphrodite, you can even say moreso, however you wouldn’t catch Luke saying that aloud. All the gawking Luke did however, was ruined when they saw their face. They were infuriated. Angry that they were tricked by Silena and Clarisse. Angry at him.

Luke wasted no time and made a beeline towards Y/N. "What is he doing here?” Y/N asks Silena and Clarisse, and the duo stayed quiet, looking at Luke for help. Luke sighs, putting both his hands up near his chest, a sign that he wasn’t there to put up a fight. “Don’t get mad at them, Ease. They helped me. I asked them to trick you. I’m sorry.”

“I told you that I didn’t wanna see you anymore, Luke.” “I know that but please hear me out.” Without saying a word, Y/N began to turn around and walk away. Who wouldn’t be pissed? The last person they wanted to see right now was standing there, whilst they recruited their other friends to basically trick them into seeing him. To say they were pissed was an understatement.

Not wanting for Y/N to leave before he explained himself, he grabs their arm. The touch felt electric to Y/N as they spun around as Luke held them. And for the first time in a while, Y/N’s expression softened. It had been days since the two had hung out, let alone seen each other. The fight had made them more distant than before, and Y/N couldn’t help but yearn for Luke’s touch. As skin contacts skin, his touch made them putty, and all the anger they’ve kept just seemingly dissipated, and there was nothing left but yearning. Painful, painful yearning.

“Please, Y/N hear me out. I promise I’ll make it worthwhile.” Y/N closed their eyes, sighing. Y/N knew Luke was their weakness, it had always been. And as he stood there holding them, all thoughts were officially lost. They nodded, and Luke for the first time in a while had his signature smile plastered on their face.

Luke looks at Y/N’s eyes, enamored as the lights from the gazebo danced in it. The more he stared at their eyes, they felt like a moth drawn to the flame. He could stare at it forever, like how Narcissus looked at his reflection in the water, but Luke had to snap out of it, and finish the hell that he had started.

“Listen, Ease. In the years I’ve lived on this Earth, I’ve recognized just how much I’ve fucked up. I was very much aware of how much I’ve done so. With Hal, with…Thalia.” Luke looked at the ground, tears began welling in his eyes. Y/N, who looked at him with adoration, wasted no time putting their hand on his cheek, guiding his eyes back to them. Luke looks at Y/N, before laughing, tears betraying him as they rush down like a waterfall. Y/N’s expressions softened even more, as they used their thumb to swipe any more tears that dared leave Luke’s eyes. A nod left Y/N, encouraging Luke to continue. The gesture made Luke a little more courageous, as he swallowed, before continuing. “With dad’s quest. I knew how much of a fuckup I was. I was always aware, and for some odd reason, when the consequences of these fuck-ups arise, I just ignore them. Not the healthiest option I know but I just stopped giving a fuck, you know? It is what it is mentality.” As he looked at Y/N, he took their hands into his, and suddenly yet all at once, it felt exhilarating. Their hand in his felt bright and warm, a feeling both of them never felt before. In that moment, they both seemed to forget all the troubles, trials and tribulations they’ve experienced, and what matters right now were just the two of them, in that moment, a scene like in a movie.

“But seeing you walk away like that with the angriest and furious eyes with tears cascading down your face, I realized something.” He breathes out as his grip on their hands tighten, it was as if at any minute, Luke would lose them, like they would drift away from them, never to be seen again. “I realized that out of all the fuck ups I did, hurting you was the worst one I’ve ever done. In that moment, I realized that making you feel alone and small was the biggest fuck-up I have ever done. For the first time, It felt as if some part of me died that day. Out of all the mistakes I've done in my life, you were the only one I was willing to fix."

Luke adoringly stepped forward more, and the space between them left as if it never existed. Luke moved his hands to their forearm, and in turn they put their hand on his chest. “You, Ease, made me realize that out of everything in my life, you’ve become the only thing I got right. I could forget everything, and you’d still be the only constant I’m thankful the Gods had given me. You're the only one who has seen the reds and the blues of my life and despite everything, you just burned them all up. And you, with all your love for an idiot like me, kissed them goodbye.”

“I’m here to fix things between us, Ease. Let it be known that I’m not willing to give you away that easily. Not in this lifetime. Not in the next. So please, I hope you forgive me.”

Y/N, upon hearing Luke’s words, couldn’t help but allow the tears to fall from their eyes. Overwhelmed with emotions, they wasted no time putting their arms around him, sobbing as they cling on to him, scared that they might fall away from them. It took Luke a minute before wrapping their arms around them as well, swinging them back and forth as the pair laughed and giggled in each other’s presence. Tears and smiles were shared amongst the pair, and Luke, smitten in love, broke the contact first, his hands on Y/N’s waist. The pair basked at each other’s presence with adoration, as they stood there, foreheads touching. Y/N’s hands crept once again to Luke’s face and in that moment, as they looked at each other, time stood still, silence washed over them. “Ease, I promise you, you won’t regret it.” He giddily smiles at them, and they chuckle.

“I know I won’t.” Y/N replies. Luke leans in, and in sync, their lips move against each other. The pair melted in each other as Y/N placed their hands on their neck. Y/N’s lips were soft. Luke thought. And a smile crept into his lips as his dreams of what their lips felt like on his was now in fruition. Electricity filled the air as the two savored each other, apologies and I love yous passed back and forth with each kiss. It was invigorating, the pair thought. He parts his lips for them, allowing each other to explore and satiate the hunger they had for each other. Their hands slipped into his curly hair and in turn, Luke pulled them towards his body more.

They broke apart after a few minutes, the two catching their breath. As they looked at each other, a sudden boom made their heads snap towards the sky. Red and white lights danced in the sky, covering the entire valley with the Love Goddess’ colors. The two looked up at the sky in adoration as they held onto each other, Luke’s head on their shoulder as they laid their head on his, with Luke’s arms around their waist and their hands resting on top of his.

Silena and Clarisse watch on as their friends bask in each other’s presence, and in turn they look at each other. Clarisse held out a hand, and Silena couldn’t help but groan as they fished in their pockets, placing a few drachmas on the God of War’s child's palm. Clarisse nodded a thank you to Silena, before both of them left to give the two some deserved privacy.

Never in the million years Luke would think the Gods would give him someone, let alone a person who loved all of him. Y/N, his North Star, his tether, his world. He didn't expect them, out of everyone, to now be in his arms, fully embracing the feeling they had for each other that they were so afraid to admit before. Now, as his name fell from Y/N’s mouth, he smiles as he basked at the moment, silently thanking the Gods for this one. And maybe, just maybe he thinks, he can forget about why he hated the Gods in the first place.

#luke castellan #luke castellan x reader #luke castellan x you #luke castellan pjo #pjo series #pjo tv show #percy jackson and the olympians #luke castellan x gender neutral! reader #charlie bushnell #luke pjo #luke castellan x y/n #luke castellan oneshot #luke castellan fanfiction #valentine's day #best friends to lovers #fluff #angst with a happy ending

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o-sachi · 1 month

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Tummy Aches - Drabble for WinBre Week!

ᯓ hiragi's acid reflux happens for a number of reasons and you happen to be one of them (affectionately) ᯓ character; hiragi toma (wind breaker) ᯓ tags; FLUFF, a little bit of tsundere hiragi, no y/n, afab reader, self-indulgent fic hehez

[🐟]: for day 7 prompt - fighting! (they do kind of fight, right?) @windbreakerweek

You could never forget the day he stood bravely in front of you, shielding you from those scumbags that threatened you on the street a few minutes ago. It wasn't much of an exaggeration to say that you were mesmerized by him.

No matter what the scumbags did—punching, kicking, swinging their flimsy bats around—none of them even made a scratch on the man that saved you. He parried his way through, giving them each a single punch enough to put them to sleep.

He quite literally defeated them all without a sweat. Hell, you couldn't even tell that he was in a fight.

"Anyone who causes pain, who brings destruction, who holds evil in their heart, will be purged by Bofurin without exception."

You sat there awestruck at his strength and courage. A fly could've flown into your mouth with how long it was left agape. Truly, you were frozen in place. It's not everyday you witness a one-man-beatdown. You were filled with adrenaline... and newfound admiration?

As you stared at his broad back, dumbfounded, your savior turned to look at you. He felt a bit concerned seeing you dazed like that on the street. Sighing, he walked over to you and crouched down so that you were eye-to-eye.

If he hadn't saved you today, you would have mistook him for a bad guy. But, clearly, he was nothing of the sort.

"Did they hurt you? You alright?"

His eyes darted along your face and arms, checking for any signs of injury. But you quickly shook your head. "No, no, I'm alright. They just threatened me a bit." He smiles warmly at you. "Good to know," he replies, standing up to his feet. "Stay safe, alright? Don't get into trouble again."

Ah... he was walking away. You haven't even thanked him yet.

"Wait!"

He turns to face you once more. With an eyebrow quirked, he wondered what else you had to say.

"Thank you! May I know your name?"

He offers you another smile. "Hiragi... Hiragi Toma."

Well... that happened a few months ago. If only Hiragi knew what that scuffle would result in—he would've ignored your thanks and ran away without telling you his name.

After that fateful encounter, you waited by Furin's gate. While you may not be familiar with its students, you knew well enough what the black uniform with the intricate cuff designs indicated.

The first visit was for you to simply show your gratitude. You planned on asking him to come with you to visit the cafe downtown—your treat, of course. He wanted to deny primarily because he believed that he was only doing his job and that didn't warrant anything in return, especially not this much.

But his friend, whom you've come to know now as Umemiya, insisted that he go through with it. You quickly realized how skillful he was at negotiating with others. One amusing exchange later and Hiragi finally relented.

However, that wasn't the last of your meet ups. Umemiya took an interest in the girl that "asked out" Hiragi. No, not THAT kind of interest. But more so he wants his buddy to end up with you. Ume thought you two would look cute together after all.

And oh boy... he made sure you two met a lot.

Ume invited you to visit Furin every once in a while under the pretense that you were his new friend. He made sure to introduce you to Kotoha as well so it'd become a norm to see you at the cafe too.

Umemiya Hajime was without a doubt the best wingman ever and you were eternally grateful. You liked Hiragi after all.

If it all worked out then, Ume's right hand man would be happy and you'd be even happier. It was a win-win situation for you and the scheming top dog of Furin.

As for Hiragi... you couldn't tell if he felt the same way.

At first, when your smiles were met with him gritting his teeth, you thought it was quite funny. You took it as your own brand of special banter. Y'know—it's like the sunshine meets grumpy trope you read in those young adult romance novels.

But if any of those books told you anything—it's that the grump will soften over time after the painstaking efforts done by sunshine. In theory, it should work out all dandy like that.

However, reality often disappoints.

Your resolve gets weaker as the days go by. You were starting to look like a fool, trying to get him to like you back. Despite all of that and despite wanting to be true to yourself, you believed in the spirit of never giving up until the bitter end.

You'll give it one last shot before putting up the white flag. If he still pushes you away then... that's the end of it.

The sun was beginning to set as you waited for him by the gate of Furin once more. The breeze blew gently, making it perfect for an afternoon stroll.

A couple of Furin students would walk out, greeting you as they prepared their journey back to their homes. Then, he came—the person you were actually waiting for.

The usual scowl adorned his face with his hands stuffed deep into his pockets. A deep sigh escapes from his lips upon seeing you waiting for him.

"Let me guess—you're waiting for me hm?"

You chuckle. "What makes you think that?"

He clicks his tongue. "Don't play with me." Hiragi goes beyond the gate and you follow suit. At the very least, he didn't tell you to buzz off nor is he walking ahead of you.

"You're not asking me to go to the cafe today?"

Have you Pavlov'd him that much to prompt such a question from him?

"No... I guess I just wanted to chat a bit before we part ways."

Funny. But you didn't intend for that last part to have double meaning. At some point on this walk, you'll have to split up to enter different neighborhoods. But, then again, it could also foreshadow what was to become of your fondness for him.

Silence was the only thing between the two of you. While he appreciated the rare calmness despite your presence, he couldn't deny that it was strange that you were so quiet. It was unlike you.

The two of you walked wordlessly for a while. Everything was normal up until you saw another couple walking down the street opposite from you and Hiragi. Your eyes trailed down to their hands and how they were clasped together.

Jealous was the exact word to describe what you felt.

Out of the corner of your eye, you checked him. He was still facing forward, obviously not sparing you glance.

But even then—and you don't know what spurred you on—you reached out for his hand, slowly intertwining your smaller fingers with his.

The touch took a while to register in his brain as he glanced down at your hands.

He quickly yanked his hand away like he was revolted. "What are you doing?"

Part of you expected this reaction, but actually seeing it unfold left you astounded. Not a word left your mouth as he picked up his pace, only to stop a few meters in front of you.

He pulled out his trusty anti-acid reflux tablets from the inner pocket of his school coat and chucked a couple in his mouth. It left you wondering—was he that repulsed by you? Were you so obnoxious to the point that it pushed him to physically refuse you?

This was worse than hearing a verbal form of rejection—that's for sure.

The harrowing pit in your stomach was eating you away—gnawing at every last piece of hope that you had. You lowered your head. "Really? You hate me that much that I make your stomach hurt?"

"Huh?"

Hiragi's eyes widened upon seeing you like that. You were uncharacteristically quiet today and now you were all mopey.

"Hate? What do you mean hate?"

"That," you say while pointing at the box of medicine he was holding. "You had to take that just because I held your hand? Was it so bad it made your stomach turn?"

His jaw dropped. You weren't silly to assume that. After how he treated you all this time—it was the only explanation that made sense. But God, did it frustrate him to be misunderstood.

He could choose to continue pretending or to come out clean.

But the frown on your face and the slight falter in your voice that told him you were on the verge of tears pushed him to do the latter.

"My stomach starts hurting around you—not because I hate you but because... I get nervous around you."

His eyes held nothing but sincerity as he peered into you. "I don't know how to handle these feelings, so now I look like an asshole huh?"

"I'm such an idiot," he sighs.

Was this the revolutionary arc between sunshine and grumpy? Was it happening? Now? At this moment? Really?

Cliche as it was—the confession brought a smile to your face.

"You mean I give you butterflies?"

He sighs again. "I wouldn't use that word... but if it helps you understand then, yes." Hiragi looks away. He had embarrassed himself enough at this point.

You catch up to him and the proximity forces him to look at you.

"So can I hold your hand or will you have another tummy ache?"

He pinches the bridge of his nose. "Seriously. First, you call it butterflies and now tummy ache? What am I? Five?"

Hiragi tries so hard to look annoyed, but it's hard to be convinced when he has your hand in his own.

#wind breaker #wind breaker x reader #hiragi toma #hiragi x reader #wind breaker week #fish does winbre week

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jolapeno · 2 months

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the yearly round up

so, i am not someone who tends to toot their own horn a lot, but i thought i could be forgiven since it's my birthday. if there were a party, i'd maybe give a speech, right? so, instead of talking about myself, i thought id talk about my work and some of my fave things I've written this year and a little bit as to why. for this list, i have not included late night texts purely because i gave it a lot of love on my last secret birthday. and equally, as do me yourself comes to a close during this one, i feel it's having such a hot moment in the sun, i didn't want to bore everyone. also because if you ask me anything about dmy i won't shut the fuck up. to ask anything about these just add an 🍊.

anytime javier p x f!reader

best friends who go to a wedding only to realise they're in love? sounds like jo. this story fell out of me upon seeing a moodboard by /wildemaven and god i love them. i think about them so often and it makes me want to write him like this again. just fun, easy. it helped me find my nerve to tackle him again after a break when LNT finished, so it was nice to hang with him again.

in my room javier p x f!reader

this idea lived in my head for so long, it went through so many variations until we landed on this. i loved writing it because i hadn't written him like this, and how closed off they both were was so much fun. not having a resolved ending was tough to, but it was also really nice?

i like the way you frankie m x f!reader

would it even be a list if i don't include this? it's a work that on the surface might just feel like a lot of fun. and it is, for sure. but also this fic really taught me a lot and helped create a new relationship with sex. i won't bore or dwell on sad things, but even with therapy, a solid and healthy relationship, this fic helped heal some lasting wounds with my relationship with sex. all through the eyes of two friends who were just trying not to confess they loved one another. so very jo.

up sky, low high frankie m x f!reader

im not sure why this man makes me write some incredible smut (IMO, ofc) but he does??? this one wouldn't exist without @morallyinept urging me on, because honestly i wouldn't have had the guts without her convincing me. but, god i think about this fic a lot? i write a lot of lovely romance, but the romance in this with the smut? i never EVER thought id find that balance. and i did, have, yay!

be good, be you joel miller x f!reader

never in a million years did i think this would have been so popular. and that's not why it's on this list. it's on this list because i lived with this fic for weeks. every bit of rain the UK we had, i thought of this. anyone who knows me, knows how much i love bill + frank joel, so this was like giving into an idea that i thought would only live in my head. and now, it's there, and I'm not ashamed to say i re-read it a lot.

meet you once, saw you thrice lucien flores x f!reader

who'd have thought this would make this list? not me. but it has, and god. i really tested myself with this one. creating him was days of churning over interviews of other actors, of finding who he is in the centre of fucking nothing. and then pouring my heart into it for lovely @pedgito and god am i grateful that's the moodboard i was given. i was terrified (ali will attest) but now i am so proud of it. i love it, and him. I'm almost terrified now to see the movie and watch this version die and wilt hahaha.

din and the travelling of planets din djarin x f!reader

not a one shot, but a collection, because i spent longer trying to choose than i did dwelling on choosing the rest and writing this post. i never thought id step back into star wars, but i'm so glad i did. din and his girl, seeing different planets together, letting us see the world through her eyes. there's a lot of my writing I'm proud of, but I'm most proud of the lines in this. because i get to describe in a way where i don't feel its redundant. because we're seeing it at the same time as she is. i also have so much fun each time i get to write him, and that, makes me happy.

#jo talks about her work #birthday bash: jo's things #joel miller x reader #javier pena x reader #frankie morales x reader #din djarin x reader #lucien flores x reader

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matryosika · 1 year

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Intimacy with Hyunjin

Wordcount — 3,400 words.

Genre — Smut and fluff. Smut warnings under the cut.

Includes — Fem!Reader. Since this was a commission, there are brief physical description of reader's character (Light-skinned with dark, curly hair. This was also written with a thick, curvy female character in mind).

Author's Note — My first commission, ever. I'm deeply grateful with the person who requested this. I asked them if I could post the story on my blog, and they agreed. So here it is! I didn't change the physical descriptions, because I wanted to stay true to the original writing I made. I hope you enjoy this, just like I did writing it. Also, my commissions are still open, in case anyone is interested!

Smut Warnings — Consented recording of sexual activities, dirty talk, body worshipping, choking, spanking, penetrative sex, unprotected sex.

“What do you think?”

Hyunjin stares at you with wide, curious eyes. The palm of his hand is resting on the flesh of your thigh, and his lips have grown to be familiar with the proximity he is now currently at —you can feel his breath tingling on your chin and even hear his heart beating.

But it wasn't always like this. Hyunjin wasn't always this close to you. Hell, he dreamed of it constantly, every single second of his days. He craved you, desired you, and loved you long before you knew. Long before he even realized his true feelings towards you.

He tried to fool himself on several occasions, convincing himself that the adoration he had towards you was nothing more than one of a best friend. He tried to act like it was normal to have your name and face tattooed in his mind, all the time. He tried to negate it, not daring to wonder if you felt even the slightest attracted towards him too.

But really, Hyunjin was madly in love with you since the very first time you met.

He remembers every detail of that day —from the way your black curly hair became one with the spring breeze, to the first words you crossed with him. How can he ever forget such a moment, when his breath got caught up in his throat, and his heart started beating so fast and loud he could actually hear it once you started to approach him? No amount of effort and will could make him delete that from his memory, not even if he tried.

And you being fairly new to Korea was the perfect excuse Hyunjin could come up with in order to get close to you, his perfect, subconscious attempt to be around you, to make you a part of his life without him planning it —he introduced you to his friends, helped you out when you needed it and stuck by your side when you felt homesick. He never wanted to get anything out of it, he just enjoyed your company dearly.

Eventually, after a drunken night of silly confessions and other stories, he kissed you.

And he hasn’t stopped kissing you every day after that.

“So, baby?”

You're brought back to reality by the sound of his voice, and the smell of cherry from off his lips that are insisting to capture your attention.

“I just remembered the first time we met,” you confess, your fingertips caressing the soft skin of his left arm, “I never thought we would end up like this”.

“Together?”

“This in love,” you smile at him.

“You didn’t think so?” Hyunjin’s voice is deep, both soothing and arousing. The hand that was resting on your thigh it’s making its way to your face, cupping it while he stares right into you, “I knew I was attracted to you since the first time I saw you”.

“I was attracted to you too,” you tell him, slightly tilting your head while he brushes the tip of his nose against yours, “but I didn’t think you felt the same. I thought it was one sided”.

Hyunjin lets out a soft, quiet scoff. A genuine one, like you just told him a joke. Because really, he finds it hilarious —why on earth wouldn't he feel the same, when you’re the closest to heaven he has ever been?

“Why wouldn’t I?” he asks, caressing the sides of your cheek while staring deeply into your lips, “since I first saw you, the world around me disappeared and started spinning just around you”.

You place a quick, wet peck onto his lips, one he welcomes by licking them after you withdraw from him. God, he really can't go a day without tasting you.

“Let’s do it,” you quietly whisper, running your fingers through his long, dark brown hair that’s barely put together in a mid ponytail, “I want to”.

“Really?” he has to double check, just to make sure.

“Yeah,” you nod, “I want you to record it all”.

Hyunjin presented you with the idea just moments ago. He really didn't know how to bring the topic up, so he just went for it —after all, you're the person he trusts the most in this world. If there's someone he shouldn't feel embarrassed with it's you. So he told you all about this little fantasy of his, one in which he gets to fuck you in front of his camera, only for him and you to watch.

At first, you were hesitant. What if you got shy, all of the sudden? Hyunjin seemed pretty stoked with the idea, but you thought it could get somehow uncomfortable. Having sex is one thing, but doing it in front of a camera it's a whole other thing, one that made you feel nervous.

“We don’t have to do it,” Hyunjin told you, offering you a warm smile, “I would love to, but I understand it can be kind of awkward at first”.

You know he would never force you into doing things you're not comfortable with, but the idea was scratching your brain in a way. Being able to witness the sex from another angle and perspective seemed interesting, and you were too curious to let such an opportunity pass. Plus, it was something Hyunjin wanted, and you’re always more than happy to fulfill his fantasies.

What’s the worst thing that can happen, anyways? When you’re with him, nothing can go wrong. That’s how much you love each other.

“Are you really, really sure?” Hyunjin asks, again.

“Yes, Hyune,” you reassure him, “let’s do it”.

He licks his lips and smiles, showing a small dimple in his left cheek while his eyes turn into crescent moons. Hyunjin places another quick on your lips before the weight of the bed shifts yet again, losing the warmth of his body as soon as he walks away from you and towards his desk.

His hands look for the things he needs —his camera and tripod. You’re not quite sure where to start, or how to begin, but you might as well figure to follow his instructions, although he hasn’t given you any yet. So you patiently wait for him, sitting at the edge of your bed while staring at him. Hyunjin always looks good, but there’s something enticing about him being at his most comfortable.

He is just wearing his underwear and some gray sweatpants, but he looks awfully attractive. You take a moment to admire every inch of skin, every vein and freckle your eyes can possibly capture, craving to touch and kiss every place and corner of his body.

“Are you enjoying yourself?” he asks when he turns his head just slightly to face you, finding you lost in your own trail of thoughts while you look at him.

“I'll enjoy myself a lot more when you get into bed with me,” you playfully tease him, following his actions with your gaze.

He places the tripod with the camera at a good angle, trying hard to capture the best image possible from you two.

You’re not recording this for anything specific, but for you two to go back to this tape and enjoy it when you feel like it. The video it’s just for you two, but he still wants to get the perfect view from your face and body.

“Don’t get shy,” he warns you when he notices you’re staring a bit too much at the camera, standing right next to your bed while he fixes the last details. “You’re just with me, alright?”

You nod, but are hesitant about being able to follow his orders verbatim. It’s hard not to get shy when the camera’s position it’s all over you.

“Can’t promise you anything,” you laugh, giving into his embrace once he pulls you by your waist towards him.

“Then I’ll make you forget it is even there,” his voice becomes hoarse and deep while he presses his body against yours, “just focus on me, think about me, about how good it feels to be with me”.

You nod softly again, and your lips meet together into another kiss. This time, it’s not just a peck but a proper kiss, one in which Hyunjin’s plump lips are brushing against yours so passionately and gently, sinking his teeth on your lower lip ever so slightly, eliciting a moan out of you that's not immersed in pain but pleasure.

He places his hand around your waist, and then he drags them down to your hips. Oh, how he loves every inch of your body, every curve and centimeter of your flesh. Hyunjin takes his time to touch you into the kiss, to trace your silhouette with his bare hands, to dig his fingertips into your skin while pressing you even more against the naked flesh of his chest and abdomen.

“You’re so pretty,” he murmurs, breaking the kiss to leave a kiss on your chin, “perfectly made for me”.

“You’re pretty too,” you tell him with a smile, cupping his face with both of your hands while he continues exploring your body, “so damn beautiful”.

Hyunjin smiles in return, and kisses you yet again. This time, the kiss feels needier and heated. It feels desperate, like he is impatient for more. He kisses you deeply, tongue grazing against yours.

“All mine?” Hyunjin asks, dragging his hands along the sides of your body.

“All yours”.

In between kisses, he guides you towards the bed. You might be so deep into him that you don't even notice until your arse meets the comfortable mattress, and his body hovers over yours forcing you to lay down flat on it.

“Let’s get rid of this, yeah?” His hands look for the hems of your shirt, and he helps you into taking it off. Your first instinct is to cover yourself up with your arms when remembering the camera, but his hands are quick to grab your wrists before you can even do so. “You’re just with me, remember?”

Immediately, you relax. You’re truly just with him, so what is there to hide?

Hyunjin leans on top of you and places a kiss on your forehead, and caresses your cheeks as he admires you. How can you be this beautiful? He is infatuated with you and every detail there is for him to worship —from your dark hair, to the beautiful color of your skin, Hyunjin thinks no way or form of art could ever capture the beauty and uniqueness of you. A painting would never do you justice, and a sculpture would never feel like you do.

“What?” you ask him with a smile, noticing how deep into his thoughts was.

“I love everything about you,” Hyunjin says, leaving a wet peck on your cheek, and then the edge of your jaw, “everything”.

He drags his lips from your jaw to your neck, and you latch your fingers against his long hair, pulling him closer to you if possible.

“I love you,” you whisper, letting soft gasps in between when you feel him nibbling at the sensitive flesh. “God, I love you so much”.

He smiles against your skin, but loses no time into exploring more of you. His lips soon perch on your chest, and move towards your breasts slowly.

“And I love you,” Hyunjin replies, burying his nose and lips into your flesh. “I fucking love your body so much”.

He swirls his tongue around one of your nipples and you arch your back against the mattress, gasping at the sudden but expected stimulation he is offering you.

“Right there, Hyujin,” you whimper.

He wants to keep on toying with you, to tease you and make you crave him. But his erection is demanding all of his attention, and he is desperate at this point to be buried inside you. You always arouse him this much, it's nothing really new. But it's, perhaps, the knowledge that you're being recorded what is really pushing him to the edge this time.

“Baby,” he coos with a hitched breath, “can I?”

His fingertips are lingering at the hems of your shorts and underwear, asking for your consent to take them off. You nod frantically in response and lift up your hips while he drags both pieces of clothing along your legs just to discard them somewhere in the room.

“Shit,” Hyunjin curses under his breath when you open your legs, noticing how ready you’re for him already.

You lose no time in removing his clothes too, and soon the positions are switched —now Hyunjin's laying on the bed while you strip him slowly, dragging his sweatpants and underwear with ease.

“God,” you whisper when your eyes meet his cock, already leaking with precum.

“I really can’t wait to be inside you,” he sighs, getting up and sitting right next to the spot in the mattress where you are kneeling.

“Then don’t,” you cup his face with your hands and leave another quick kiss on his lips.

It's like lighting a match on fire, how quickly it spreads once you let him know you're on the same page he is. When you tell him you want this just as much as he does, Hyunjin loses no time in giving it to you.

“Come here,” he motions for you to sit down on top of him, with your pussy against his lap, “let me show you how much I want you”.

With his help, you take the base of his cock and align the tip of it with your entrance. Slowly, you sink your hips against his and take him in fully.

“Fuck,” you cry, feeling the sudden stretch he’s providing you with. Even so, it feels pleasant. You can feel how hard he is for you, how his dick fits perfectly inside your pussy like it was made for it.

Hyunjin can feel it too, how tight and wet your walls are, and how deliciously you clench around him as he bottoms out.

It’s heavenly, for both of you.

“So- perfect,” he groans, digging his fingertips on the skin of your hips while you start moving on top of him. Slow and steady, just how he likes it, “your body, it’s just too fucking beautiful”.

Your boyfriend is a treasure full of compliments. Not a day goes by without him telling how pretty you are, or how lucky he feels to have you by his side. He is very vocal about what he feels or thinks, especially in bed.

You’re so weak for it.

“I want to- kiss you all over it,” the thought of feeling his tongue tracing over your skin makes you clench around his cock, and that earns you a quiet groan from him. “Want to spend- hours, just touching you”.

The steadiness of your movements is lost as soon as Hyunjin starts talking. His words mess with your head and make you turn into a wet mess for him, one that is unable to speak or think of anything that’s not him and his voice.

“Hyune,” you moan, feeling his hands grabbing your ass while you’re riding him. Your words are interrupted by a soft smack on one of your ass cheeks, and Hyunjin offers you a mischievous smile once he feels you clenching around him at the impact.

“Mhm?” he hums.

“Do it again,” you ask, somewhat embarrassed and turned on by the action.

He follows along, landing yet another sharp impact that makes you let out a soft cry. The more he spanks you, the more your hips pick up a faster pace, grinding against his cock in a desperate attempt to reach your high.

“Fuck, Hyunjin,” you moan, “I want-”.

“Not yet,” he tells you, tapping your hips motioning for you to slow down, “not like this”.

You look at him in confusion, but soon pick up his plan when he switches your positions: now, you’re laying on the mattress and he is on top of you, right between your open legs.

“I want to make you come,” Hyunjin sighs, leaning down for a kiss that he only interrupts when he feels like running out of breath. It lasts a couple of seconds, perhaps minutes —you really can’t tell anymore. “Open up your legs more for me, will you?”

When you do, he buries all of himself inside you yet again. This time, the stretch is not painful at all —you’re familiar with him now, so he bottoms out with ease.

“So fucking wet you are,” he moans through gritted teeth with his eyes attached to where your bodies meet.

He knows the camera will not be able to capture such a sight this well, that only the human eye can appreciate. But he at least wishes to record the pretty sounds that leave your mouth, and the way your body trembles whenever he makes you come.

“You’re so deep,” you whine, digging your fingernails in the flesh of his biceps. “I feel you- so deep inside me, Hyunjin”.

He feels himself twitching at your words, noticing they have more effect on him than he would ever want to admit.

“Yeah?” He switches his body weight support to just one of his forearms, while he extends the other looking for your hand. He finds it at the side of your body, gripping the bed sheets harshly. He then guides your hand to your lower tummy, pressing it further against your abdomen, “can you feel me right here?”

You moan at the action and his words, feeling his hand on top of yours while he presses your tummy.

“Fuck yes,” you cry.

Then, he guides your hand from your tummy to your core, right above where his cock is.

“I’m sure this will feel much better,” he says in between groans, signaling for you to rub your clit while he fucks you.

And oh, how right he is. Once your fingers start to acquire a pace of their own on your clit, Hyunjin’s hand abandons yours and he drags it up, stopping right at your neck. He wraps his hand around it, drowning a desperate moan out of you.

“Does it hurt?” he asks you, gently and cautiously.

“N-no,” you swallow thickly and he can feel it. Just as he can feel your pulse, accelerating by the minute, “harder”.

Hyunjin smiles.

“Do you want me to choke you harder? Or fuck you harder?”

“Both,” you gasp. “I’m so close”.

He knows. You’re getting even wetter than before, and that’s making it difficult for him not to come right then and there.

“I’m close too,” Hyunjin confesses, and keeps on fucking your pussy almost at the same pace you’re rubbing your clit. The harder you squeeze his cock with your cunt, the harder he squeezes your neck with his hand.

It’s a fair exchange.

“Don’t- don’t stop,” you breathe. Your words are barely audible, but he can pick on them well. “Don’t let go- keep on choking me”.

“I won’t,” he reassures you, holding your body right in place while he thrusts his cock inside you a couple of times, trying to bring you to your orgasm. “I’m going to make you come like this”.

As the man of his word he is, Hyunjin makes you come in no time. With particular sharp thrusts, and the grip on your neck, he has you trembling underneath him almost uncontrollably, your walls clenching and relaxing violently around his cock.

“Hyunjin,” you gasp, wrapping your legs around his hips in an attempt to bring him closer and deeper into you.

Your boyfriend groans, breathing heavily while chasing his high. There are several strands of his dark hair sticking to his cheeks and forehead with sweat, but he can’t begin to care. Or at least not when he is this close to come undone for you.

“Fuck,” he curses, and you soon have his body collapsing on top of yours while he comes. His hips tremble, and you can feel him twitching inside you. “Fuck, baby”.

You hug him tightly, still feeling the ravages of your own orgasm. You both lay down with each other until your breathing becomes estable, but neither of you dare to move away from each other.

You wish to stay like this forever.

“Thank you,” Hyunjin finally says, still with a hitched voice.

“For what?” you ask, amused.

“For letting me record us”.

You furrow your eyebrows and, in a matter of a second, remember about the camera that is still pointing at the both of you.

“What?” Hyunjin laughs. “You really forgot about the camera mid sex?”

“Mmm, maybe,” you confess.

“Well, that can only mean I fucked you good”.

And oh, how he just did.

#skz smut #stray kids smut #kpop smut #hyunjin smut

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kolyasupremanxy · 2 years

Note

Thank you for all your hard work...if only words could describe how much every single story has made me feel so much better🥹

May I leave a request in here

My closest friend went behind my back and betrayed me in the worst way possible and the only thing I have been thinking about was how to get her back, finding ways to make her regret it. (Do not worry it's just a payback, no blood bath in planning)

How do you think the bsd boys (nikolai, dazai, chuuya etc) would react to their s/o becoming so rough and hard after a situation like this? Would they help her or talk her into just letting it go? I mean it's not an easy thing the live with when someone backstabs you

𝐑𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐠𝐞

𝐅𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 : 𝐍𝐢𝐤𝐨𝐥𝐚𝐢 𝐆𝐨𝐠𝐨𝐥 , 𝐅𝐲𝐨𝐝𝐨𝐫 𝐃𝐨𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐞𝐯𝐬𝐤𝐲 , 𝐃𝐚𝐳𝐚𝐢 𝐎𝐬𝐚𝐦𝐮 , 𝐍𝐚𝐤𝐚𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚 𝐂𝐡𝐮𝐮𝐲𝐚 , 𝐄𝐝𝐨𝐠𝐚𝐰𝐚 𝐑𝐚𝐧𝐩𝐨

𝐆𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: Idek if this is comfort or what

𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 1.5k

𝐀/𝐧: I'm sorry to hear that, Anon. I'm glad my fics helped you feel better! I hope you're doing well. You can always vent to me anonymously, and my DMs are open. Now, I think I should stop posting angst fics and start writing more fluff/comfort fics.

—𝐍𝐢𝐤𝐨𝐥𝐚𝐢 𝐆𝐨𝐠𝐨𝐥

Nikolai listened to his s/o as they explained the situation with their friend, who had betrayed them in the worst possible way. He could see the pain and anger in their eyes, and it made his blood boil. How dare someone hurt the person he loved most in this world?

One day, as they were discussing what to do about the situation, Nikolai suddenly broke out into a silly dance. "I know what we should do!" he exclaimed, twirling around. "We'll give her a taste of her own medicine!"

His s/o couldn't help but laugh at the sight of him dancing, but the thought of revenge still lingered in her mind. "But how?" she asked.

Nikolai's expression suddenly turned serious. "We'll give her a warning. Let her know that if she ever messes with you again, she'll have to deal with me."

His s/o was taken aback by the sudden shift in his demeanor. She had never seen him like this before. "Nikolai, you're scaring me," she admitted.

Nikolai's eyes softened as he walked over to her and took her hand. "I'm sorry, my dove. I just can't stand to see you hurt. I'll do whatever it takes to protect you."

His s/o couldn't help but feel touched by his words, despite the lingering fear. She knew that Nikolai would never let anyone hurt her and that he would go to great lengths to keep her safe.

In the end, they decided to go through with the plan. Nikolai left a warning for her friend, letting her know that he was watching her and that if she ever tried to hurt his s/o again, she would have to deal with him.

While the thought of revenge still left a bitter taste in his s/o's mouth, she couldn't help but feel grateful for Nikolai's unwavering protection and love.

—𝐅𝐲𝐨𝐝𝐨𝐫 𝐃𝐨𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐞𝐯𝐬𝐤𝐲

As Fyodor's s/o approached him, he could see the rage and hurt in her eyes. "Fyodor," she started, "I don't know what to do. My friend betrayed me in the worst way possible. She went behind my back and did something unforgivable." Fyodor listened carefully, his expression never changing as she continued to tell him the details of the betrayal.

After a few moments of silence, Fyodor spoke, his voice low and dangerous. "Myshka," he said, using his pet name for her, "I understand how you feel. Betrayal is a terrible thing, and those who commit such an act deserve nothing but punishment. I will help you get revenge on this person, but you must understand that it will not be a gentle punishment. It will be harsh, and it will be final."

Fyodor's s/o nodded, her face set in determination. "I know," she said, "I don't care what it takes. I just want her to feel the same pain that she caused me." Fyodor nodded in agreement, "Then we shall start planning. But remember, Myshka, revenge is a dish best served cold. We must be patient, wait for the right moment to strike."

As they began to make plans, Fyodor's s/o noticed a glint in his eye, a look of sinister pleasure. "Fyodor," she asked hesitantly, "Are you enjoying this?" Fyodor's expression did not change, but his voice had a hint of amusement in it. "Of course, Myshka. Revenge is what we do. It's in our nature. And besides, it's always satisfying to see those who have wronged us suffer."

As the days went on and their plan began to take shape, Fyodor's s/o found herself becoming more and more ruthless. She was determined to make her former friend pay, no matter what the cost. Fyodor watched her with a mix of admiration and caution, knowing that her newfound ferocity could be dangerous if left unchecked.

—𝐃𝐚𝐳𝐚𝐢 𝐎𝐬𝐚𝐦𝐮

Dazai would react to his s/o's situation with a mixture of concern and humor. He would likely make light of the situation and tease his s/o about their revenge plans, but deep down he would understand the pain and anger they were feeling.

One day, Dazai's s/o came to him looking more serious than usual. She explained to him what had happened with her friend and how betrayed she felt. She told him about her plans for revenge, and Dazai couldn't help but chuckle.

"Ah, my dear, revenge is never the answer," he said, grinning. "But if you're set on it, I'll be happy to help you come up with a plan."

His s/o looked at him with surprise, not expecting him to take her seriously. But Dazai knew how important this was to her and he wanted to support her in any way he could.

Together, they spent hours devising a plan that would make her friend regret what she had done. Dazai used his quick thinking and strategic mind to help his s/o come up with a plan that was both effective and safe.

But even as they plotted, Dazai made sure to remind his s/o that revenge wasn't everything. He knew that the pain of betrayal would stay with her for a long time, but he also knew that holding onto anger and hate wasn't healthy.

"Don't let this consume you, my dear," he said softly, placing a hand on her shoulder. "Let it go and move on. You deserve better than to be held back by the actions of others."

His s/o smiled at him, grateful for his support and understanding. Together, they executed their plan and watched as her friend got her comeuppance. But even as they celebrated their victory, Dazai made sure to remind his s/o that there was more to life than revenge.

—𝐍𝐚𝐤𝐚𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚 𝐂𝐡𝐮𝐮𝐲𝐚

Chuuya sat across from his s/o, watching as she scribbled furiously in a notebook. He could tell she was still reeling from the betrayal of her friend. He took a sip of his wine before speaking up.

"Thinking about how to get back at that bitch?" he asked bluntly.

His s/o looked up, surprised. "How did you know?"

Chuuya chuckled. "You're not exactly subtle."

His s/o sighed, setting down the notebook. "I just can't believe she would do that to me. We were supposed to be friends."

Chuuya raised an eyebrow. "So, what's your plan?"

His s/o leaned in, a mischievous glint in her eye. "I've got a few ideas. I was thinking of setting up a fake social media account and exposing all of her dirty secrets."

Chuuya smirked. "Sounds like a good time. Need any help?"

His s/o looked at him skeptically. "Are you sure? I don't want you to get involved in my drama."

Chuuya waved a hand dismissively. "Please. I'm always down for a good revenge scheme. And besides, I can't let that bitch hurt my girl."

His s/o smiled, grateful for his support. "Thanks, Chuuya. You're the best."

Chuuya smirked, pouring himself another glass of wine. "Damn right I am. Now let's get to planning. I want to see that bitch squirm."

—𝐄𝐝𝐨𝐠𝐚𝐰𝐚 𝐑𝐚𝐧𝐩𝐨

Ranpo had been aware of the situation since the moment his s/o had confided in him. He had listened patiently as they recounted the betrayal of their so-called friend, and the subsequent desire for revenge that had consumed them.

As he watched his s/o brood and plot revenge, Ranpo couldn't help but feel a sense of amusement. He knew exactly how his s/o felt; after all, he had encountered his own share of betrayal and injustice in the past. However, his approach to handling such situations was vastly different.

"Are you really going to let this person have so much power over you?" Ranpo asked his s/o, a playful smirk tugging at the corners of his lips.

"What do you mean?" his s/o replied, a hint of confusion in their voice.

"Well, by obsessing over revenge and making them regret what they did, you're essentially allowing them to control your emotions and actions. They've already hurt you once; don't give them the satisfaction of hurting you again by dwelling on it. Move on and focus on the positive things in your life," Ranpo said, his tone serious.

His s/o was taken aback by Ranpo's response. They had expected him to join in on their anger and offer to help with the revenge plot. Instead, he was suggesting that they let it go and move on.

"But Ranpo, don't you think they deserve to be punished for what they did?" his s/o asked, still feeling conflicted.

"Of course they do, but not by your hand. Leave it to karma or the law of cause and effect to deal with them. You have more important things to focus on," Ranpo said, his voice softening.

His s/o pondered Ranpo's words for a moment before nodding in agreement. Maybe revenge wasn't worth the energy and negative emotions it would bring. Maybe it was time to let go and move on.

As they hugged Ranpo in gratitude, he couldn't help but feel proud of his s/o's growth and maturity. Maybe, just maybe, he had taught them a valuable lesson in handling betrayal and injustice.

Do Not Copy or Plagiarize Any of My Works. Reblogs Are Very Appreciated.

#bsd imagines #bsd #bsd fanfic #bungo stray dogs #bungo stray dogs x reader #nikolai gogol x reader #nikolai x reader #bsd x reader #fyodor x reader #fyodor dostoevsky x reader #nakahara chuuya x reader #chuuya x reader #dazai osamu x reader #dazai x reader #edogawa ranpo x reader #ranpo x reader

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sensei-venus · 1 year

Text

@gemini-sensei , I might try doing something for this but-

Chubby!Reader who has been with the original group of students from cobra kai. She only ever defected to Miyag-Do after Kreese took over and then she went to Eragle-Fang.

She's always been in the background, but so far back that not even the other background kids see or talk to her. It's almost like she's not there most of the times. For a long time she tries really hard to get some of any attention at that, but nothing worked. Nothing seemed to get her in the spot light, or even noticed for that matter.

So she just goes to class for her own benefit. Only to go home right afterward. She doesn't bother to stick around after practice, it's not like anyone wants to talk to her or hang out. No one makes a move to get to know her, they hardly even look in her direction most of the time. One of the only times she is noticed is when she's paired up with someone. Then right after they don't say a word to her.

Daniel is the only one who seems to care enough to notice her. He's the only one who tends to talk to her, asking about training, how she's doing, and how's school. More than Johnny ever has with the time she's been learning under him. She feels grateful that he at least takes a liking to her. One of the only reasons she keeps showing up.

But things change quickly one day and she snaps.

One day after a long hard trading session most of the students are talking. Everyone has changed out of their workout clothes before muddling around the dojo. Reader is checking out her bag just to make sure she hasn't forgotten anything important. While she is looking she over hears Miguel and Sam talking to the other students. They are all in tight circle having a conversation, Reader decides to walk over. She gets into hearing range to hear them saying how they should all meet up.

The other students get excited about the new idea.

“Can you just send the info to the group chat? So we can all know the time and place to show up?” solemn says. Everyone nods which has Reader stumped.

Group chat? What group chat?

Moments later the huge group starts to split up leaving Reader confused. She quickly tries to flag someone down before they can all leave.

“Hey so you have the group chat info-”

“Can you by chance send me the group chat-”

“Can you add me-”

Every single one of them seem to ignore her. Walking right past her, paying no mind to her or any of her questions. They just leave her standing there, hurt and clueless. Clearly, all of them were part of some dojo group chat. One where they shared group plans and hung out together. Maybe they even talked about things besides what went on at the dojo. What real friends did.

But now it was crystal clear to her, she wasn't their friend and they weren't hers either.

Her attempts at trying to be nice where useless. When she tried to talk to them during class or before, when she offered to help with school work, even when she tried her best to be a shoulder to cry on. None of it seemed to be enough for them to notice her. To care that she was trying to be apart of their friend group.

Even the slight crushes she developed on some of them.

There was no use in trying anymore.

This was the final straw.

That day she left the dojo with a heavy heart and a mind full of deep honest questions about what she needed to do. The dojo was no longer much of a comfort. Being there only made her feel like a outcast, out of place and cold. Why keep going if she could not build any relationships with her peers? While karate itself kept her busy and happy, the environment she was in did not. It only brought her down.

Days passed and time ticked along with all of her thoughts about the dojo. Until one afternoon she decided on her final decision.

She folded up her gi and drove to the dojo.

She looked at Daniel’s face as he sadly took the crisp gi from her hands.

“I don't think I should be in an environment where I'm invisible to those around me. It's not fair to me or them. I'm sorry Sensei.” she bowed lowly to Daniel.

His lips draw down into a slight frown, brows knit as he watches the girl bow.

“I understand, not feeling as if your peers are behind you can be difficult. She shouldn't feel the pain of not fully knowing if they would stick behind you as you would them. I would hope that this is not the last time I see you. I can only hope you don't give up karate over this. You are a great student Reader.” his words priced her heart a little. Standing up she looked at him, her own eyes filled with sadness. She did her best to hold back the tears that slowly started to well in her eyes.

“I promise Sensei, I won't forget all the things you taught me. Maybe one day I can come back. Maybe then I will have a bit more confidence.” her voice cracks a little. With one final nod she turns around and walks away. She gives one last look around, knowing this might be the last time she ever sees the beautiful yard. Sighing she walks back to her car in silence, leaving the small lot without even a second glance.

When the next class comes around, no one notices anything missing. Everyone gets into their respective groups and stands ready for the days lesson.

“So we are going to pair up for today's lesson. So let's all get into pairs and start.” Johnny booms from the front of the group of teens. Quickly everyone starts to team up. Already knowing who they want to be paired with.

“Uhh sensei, I don't have a partner. I think everyone is paired up but me.” its Bert who speaks up.

“What so you mean you don't have a partner?” Johnny questions. They had never has a odd am out of students before. There has always been a even amount among the dojo.

Who wasn't there today? He looks around finding all the familiar faces he knows. He accounts for all of them which has him scratching his head.

“Shit that's my fault Johnny, I completely forgot to tell you. Reader quiet last class, I should have told you as soon as she came to me.”

There was a long pause between the two men. Even the teens stopped to listen in.

“Who?”

“Reader? Last Name? Do you seriously not remember your own student? Now that I'm thinking about it she was a part of your dojo before mine. I would have thought you would have noticed her missing.”

“Still blanking.”

Daniel doesn't even want to keep talking to the man. It's like talking to a brick wall with him.

This idea started to die, but I like to think Poly! Hawk, Sam, Demetri, Robby and Miguel start to feel bad about not paying attention to Reader. They end up following her around school, trying to figure out what they can do to make her come back to the dojo.

But it quickly goes from just trying to get an old teammate to come back to “Oh no we might have started to develop a crush on the girl.”.

#sensei venus speaks #cobra kai #cobra kai blog #cobra kai ask blog #cobra kai headcanons #cobra kai imagine #cobra kai blurbs #poly!cobra kai #chubby!reader #chubby reader #cobra kai x chubby reader #plus size reader #cobra kai x plus size reader

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hannahssimblr · 6 months

Text

It’s been a long time since we were three - Jen, Michelle and I, and nobody else. Really it was two first, them, from the first day of junior infants, when children were seated alphabetically. Smythe sat with Tengu, that was the natural order of things, and for them, that was that.

Plenty of people stay friends with that first kid from that first day, it’s just how it works out. You end up spending eight years or more joined at the hip with that snot nosed kid who borrowed your pencil and chewed off the eraser on the end, or snipped chunks out of your hair with safety scissors. But maybe, even to small children, a special, unbreakable bond is born from the experience of witnessing one another cry softly into your copy books as your parents reverse out of the car park and abandon you in a new, strange place with twenty-nine five year old strangers.

It worked out well for them, though, Michelle, who was bullied for looking foreign, and Jen, the tiny, confident child who had mastered the art of the creative insult by the time she could speak. Boldly, she stood up to anyone who said a word to her new friend, and no, Tengu isn’t hard to pronounce, you just can’t read. And, by the way, you have chocolate smeared around your mouth.

I crashed their party in the autumn of 2002, uncomfortable in my first ever uniform, and made to sit down at the back of the room like an inconvenience with maths worksheets while everyone else participated in their Irish lesson. I didn’t even know that Irish was a language before then and thanked my lucky stars that ten years old was considered too late to learn and rendered me exempt, because the thought alone of attempting to make those foreign, hacking sounds at the back of my throat was enough to make me shudder.

It was Jen, to my left, who nudged me, “are you dyslexic?”

“No, I'm American.”

“What are you doing here then?”

“I moved.”

“Why?”

I was grateful when the teacher told us to pipe down, because I wasn’t really sure how I was going to answer anyway, but it was only a minute before a piece of folded paper landed on my desk.

A note.

Did you ever go to Disneyland? Yes No

I circled yes and tossed it back at her. Of course I’ve been to Disneyland, like, five times. My great aunt took me on every single birthday, and I went on all of the rides I was tall enough for.

The notes didn’t stop, one after another, question after question, and I shrunk a little under her curious gaze at the desk next to me, not really ready to be observed with such intensity, but it didn’t matter what I wanted. Jen wanted answers.

“Do you have Coronation Street in America?” She said, trailing me into the yard as I tried to find a secluded spot to eat my sandwich.

“Hm? Where’s that?”

She giggled, “What about Quality Street?”

“Are they, like, kinda the same thing?”

“Do you know any WWF wrestlers?”

“I know them on the TV, I guess.”

“But not in real life? Have you met any celebrities?”

“Um, I saw the guy who played Screech on Saved by the Bell one time.”

“I dunno who that is. Anyone else?”

She could be pretty annoying, but disarming and easy to warm to nonetheless, but it was never Jen that was the problem.

It was her best friend Michelle.

Michelle Tengu didn’t really talk. Kids in the class would try their best to make her say something, they’d ask her if she was mute, which she wasn’t, she was too shy to speak sometimes, and when she did her voice was whisper quiet, which didn’t help.

“What?” Our classmates would bellow, “I can’t hear you, you have to speak up!” and underneath the table her hands would ball into fists and her face would burn furious red.

Usually kids like Michelle were too much effort for me, I dare say boring, even, I tended to gravitate towards loud, borderline obnoxious types but I quickly learned that wherever my new friend Jen went, Michelle went too, so her presence, I would have to learn to accept.

Once I got over my impatience with Michelle’s quiet nature we tended to get along pretty well, she was the perfect antidote for Jen and I, who would often launch into spirited arguments about stupid things that hardly mattered, but she was so good at being diplomatic, logical, making sense of things that seemed so complicated to us but simple to her. Michelle was very good at being right. All of the time. It was one of the interesting things about her.

There were other interesting things, of course, which I began to discover during the long, humid summer of 2004. Like the way her hair, long, sleek and black, reflected the sunshine, and her pouty mouth and chestnut brown eyes. Girls weren’t gross to me in that way anymore, especially Michelle.

It was her house where we hung out, mostly, because my house had a fussy toddler in it and Jen’s parents were weird and always made us participate in chores, but Michelle’s house wasn’t perfect either. Her parents were always hovering within earshot of the living room as we three friends hung out, and they made sure that Michelle’s bedroom was always off limits to me. Jen could go up there all she liked, to fetch a CD or a teen magazine for us to fill out the stupid quizzes, but not me. I had to park myself on that pale blue couch and listen to my friends giggling through the ceiling while Rahim grilled me about my education.

“I don’t get why they’re like that,” Jen would say in consolation when we walked home together after another summer afternoon in the Tengu’s semi detached. “They’re the same with the sleepovers, even though they’d be so much more fun if you were there too. I honestly just don’t get it."

But I did.

And as time went on the girls would understand too, because by twelve almost everything felt different to the way it felt at ten. There wasn’t only Michelle and her pretty glossy hair anymore, there was Jessie and Alice and Amy, and eventually, my very first girlfriend Holly whose friends used to shove digital cameras into our faces when we tried to kiss at the teenage discos, and who would start dramatic, weekly arguments with me over text message if I dared to so much as ask the girl next to me to borrow a pencil sharpener.

Things became extra complicated when somebody left a handmade card and a packet of gel pens on my desk for my birthday, which I assumed were from Holly, and thanked her, much to her chagrin, because it hasn’t actually been her, no, she’d bought me tickets to see Dodgeball at the cinema.

It was Michelle.

Holly insisted that I give them back to her, so I did, with all the sensitivity and tact a newly turned thirteen year old is capable of, which is almost none, and left Michelle standing forlornly in the yard holding the card I had barely read dangling limply from her fingers.

It was her, eventually, who launched a campaign against me after many weeks of being an obliging boyfriend, claiming that I was spending far too much time with Holly and her friends and had forgotten all about those who had welcomed me with their friendship when I was displaced and alone at the beginning, but I didn’t think of it like that. I still wanted to be friends with her and Jen, they were my main friends, but I needed to make time for my new friends too. There was only so much of me to go around, surely, if she were so reasonable, she would understand.

“You don’t care about us at all anymore,” she hissed at me in the school yard with tears in her eyes, “It’s all about Holly and her gang now. Well, she can have you, you don’t have time for anybody else these days.”

She ignored all my attempts to make it up to her, and we only drifted further apart after that, losing ourselves to the new landscape, the new rules of secondary school, finding different interests, different people, different music, ways to dress and express ourselves to spend our time until eventually the only thing we had in common was Jenny Smythe, the girl who had stood in place while we swirled around her, a rock in a churning ocean of teenage angst. If it wasn’t for her, I know I would hardly see Michelle at all. I’d never have to think about her.

But I do, and now instead of her giggling I hear her sobs through the ceiling of the living room.

Beginning // Prev // Next

Big thank you to @nexility-sims for helping me make sense of this montage scene! It was driving my crazy for weeks <3 <3 <3

#lucky boy 2009 #this scene genuinely nearly killed me dead #idk why i hate montages so much #but they're fun to read i guess #lookit babies #istg I have at least 5 versions of Jude just walking around my save file at this point #tw: racism #tw: bullying

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solei-eclipse · 20 days

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hi para! i hope this doesn’t seem disingenuous or something just because two other people have sent asks regarding this same content but… i actually really care about you and i want you to know that it’s okay you may not post a lot about the original alien stage or just not be that interested in it in general. i’ve been like, your biggest fan since probably march (or earlier) of this year. i’ll tell you right now that i was really scared to reach out, interact, or talk to you because at the time, i had been using my real name on my blog and i was unsure if i wanted to go by it here just yet, so i only waited for you to post something new most days. i wasn’t really doing so great back then, because i was a little stressed and i had so much pressure piled up on me because of my rehearsals, my homework, my piano lessons, and life in general. i think your blog really kept me motivated and interested in alien stage (+ many other things) and i was always so excited to see a new post from you.

that being said, you’ve been one of my favorite people in the alien stage fandom and i freaked out in the best way possible when you followed me back. i don’t want you to feel pressured to post on shakingparadigm and i don’t want you to feel like you’re not being appreciative of your followers. i still love your content, para, and i want you to know that. when my life was going through a rough patch, when i was losing sleep during tech week, when i was working at my school on a weekend due to hosting a theater tournament, when i felt empty for days at a time, your blog was always there to keep me happy and i’ll never forget that. you’re really a wonderful person, and i want you to know that because you helped me so much without knowing it, i’d do that for you too. you don’t have to post very often for me to still enjoy everything you put out. please know that no matter what happens, i still cherish the memories i have of reading your posts and knowing that at least someone out there is as insane about alien stage as i am. it doesn’t matter to me what changes about you or your blog. i’ll always be your number one fan, so thank you for all you’ve done for me! i’m so so so so so grateful for everything. i care about you, and you deserve everything good in life. you’re not a content machine. you can take breaks. please take your time, and don’t rush yourself. you’ve always been human to me. nothing will ever EVER change that. i’ll never demand more content from you, and nobody ever should.

remember to drink water, get good sleep, and eat! i hope i worded this well… if it’s confusing or if it weirded you out, i’m sorry! i just really want you to know i care.

JUNE???? I teared up at this June. I don't know what to do with myself aaagh

I genuinely have no words. This means so much to me... No seriously I actually have no words right now I'm just. WOW. For that long?! I remember I was barely anyone back in March... mostly just talking to myself and the 3 or 4 people that interacted with me every now and then. I can't believe you've been with me for so long! June!!!!

I had no idea I could ever mean something like that to someone, I just started posting into the void and hoped I could be heard somehow. I don't know what to say... I'm really touched, and really grateful that I was able to help you in that way even though I was just spouting bullshit most of the time. I'm sorry to hear that you went through so much stress during that time, and all I can do is hope that you're in a better place. I'm proud of you for getting past that period. Stay strong!! I believe in you June!!

I'm so in awe. Thank you so much for your appreciation and your time and your patience. It always shakes me whenever someone deems me worthy of those things... I'll always be grateful for them. Thank you, thank you thank you thank you for deeming me worthwhile. It genuinely pulls at my heartstrings to think about.

Please don't call yourself just a fan, you're my friend and ever since we started interacting more here I've seen you that way. Your posts are so intriguing and your art is absolutely fantastic. It's such a joy to see all the wonderful things you make. I'm the one who should be grateful for bearing witness to all of it!

Thank you for your reassurance, I promise I'll try to take better care of myself. I want you to look after yourself too, please! I know you're still dealing with a lot right now, so don't forget that everything applies to you too. I wish you luck with all your endeavors and I hope you come out the other side just fine. I care about you as well, and i want you to know that you deserve all the good things in life, too! All the good things and more. I wish you the best!

This means so much to me. I keep saying that for so many things but that's just because it's true. It makes me laugh, actually, to realize how wrong I was on other people's perception of me. It's through everyone's kindness that I realize I should probably start being kinder to myself. You've helped me so much without knowing, too. I wholeheartedly thank you for it ...

Don't beat yourself up over anything. It's not at all disingenuous or confusing or weird. It's so achingly genuine that upon receiving the notification for this I dropped to the floor and stared at it unable to process. Thank you for your incredibly sweet and kind words, June, I'll be thinking about them for an incredibly long time. I care for you too, please remember that, and if you ever need help with anything don't be afraid to reach out. I'll be here <3

#i can't even word my feelings properly im sorry #just #thank you #sorry if im being dramatic #i know im being too much but it just means a lot to me and i try to express it as much as im able to #still cant find tje right words #asks

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violet211221 · 2 years

Text

Fireworks | Bang Chan

♡ request open: feel free to send me your requests

♡ pairing: bang chan x reader

♡ genre: stable relationship, fluff

♡ word count: 3.4k

♡ short summary: your boyfriend Chan couldn't make it to a New Year's party, but he's got a surprise for you

♡ a/n: this one shot is based on this fake text as inspiration

♡ support my work - if you want to directly support my writing, you can buy me a coffee here

"I'm so sorry, baby. I haven't finished the schedule yet."

You look sadly at the messages that appear on your phone screen. You can practically see Chan quickly typing on his phone, huddled in a corner where no one can see him.

"I don't know when I'll get there tonight. I'm so sorry." he writes you again.

You look at the clock. It's 3:22pm, the last day of the year. You and Chan were supposed to go to the New Year's party of a small group of mutual friends, one of the rare occasions when you two show off as a couple. It's still early, right? You two have to be there at 7pm, there's still a chance that Chan will arrive early enough to...

"But you can go there if you want. You don't have to miss the fun because of me. I promise I'll try to get there as soon as I can."

Your hope is gone. Your boyfriend just subtly let you know that there was no way he was going to catch this party. And without him, there is no fun for you.

"Y/n?"

"I'm here, Channie. I just got out of the shower.” you type back.

You hate to lie to him, but you don't want to make him feel bad. You knew what you were getting yourself into when you decided to go out with this man. You knew from the beginning how full is his schedule and you were never really upset when he canceled a date. The truth is that you love him so much that you always support his career.

"Don't worry, love. I will stay at home and wait for you."

"Are you sure about this?" comes his answer.

"Very sure. We can have our own party."

You think for a few moments.

"Please don't feel guilty. I'm really not mad at all." you add quickly, before he has a chance to type anything.

And this is the truth. You're not upset that you two don't make it to the party anymore. You are angry because you know Chan feels guilty. You know that every time he has to cancel plans with you, a small piece of his heart breaks and falls. And you would do anything to protect Chan's heart.

"I'm a bad boyfriend, right?" he asks you.

That's exactly what you feared the most. Chan is the best boyfriend you've ever had. Damn, Chan is the best boyfriend anyone could ever have. He is always kind and tender with you, always dedicated to you and your needs. Yes, he often cancels dates with you, but he always makes sure to make up for it. In fact, you are extremely proud of all the work he puts in. You have never met a person as hardworking as Chan. Work makes him feel happy and fulfilled, and you can only be happy when his career blooming right in front of your eyes.

"Don't be so hard with yourself, my love. You always try to take care of all of us. I could never consider you a bad boyfriend. You are the best lover and the most responsible person I know."

Chan's answer comes after a minute.

"I think I should be grateful to have you, baby. I should go now. I'll write you later. I love you."

You type back that you love him too, then leave the phone on the table. Considering that Chan will come home late, you assume that he will be tired and hungry , so you go cook something. Like any ordinary Sunday night.

Your phone remains silent for several hours until, finally, your lover's name appears on the screen.

"Put that cute dress on. I'll come pick you up in ten minutes."

You look at the clock and notice that it's not long until 11pm.

"But Channie, isn't it too late to go to the party?"

"You trust me?"

What kind of question is this? You have so much trust in him that you left your life on this man's hands.

"Always, Bangbang."

"Then put that dress on you and wait for me. I'll be right there right now. I have a surprise 👀"

You leave him on "seen" and run to do what he asked you to do. You practically throw your clothes off on the fly and you really hear the closet door crack when you open it with a little too much force. You take the purple and shiny dress off the hanger, you put it on and then you rush to the mirror. You don't have time for a new make-up, so all you can do is touch up the simple one you had on during the day. You had just pulled your hair out of your ponytail and were running your hand through it repeatedly to give it some volume when you received another text from Chan.

"I'll wait for you in the parking lot, right next to your car."

You don't know why, but your heart starts beating faster. You don't waste time. You put on your shoes and coat and head to the elevator. You can't help but wonder what Chan is planning. Judging by the fact that he is waiting for you in the parking lot of the residential block where you two recently moved, it means he plans to use your car, not just use it as a landmark for you. Which can only mean that he is preparing something really special. Most of the time, you two use the safe company car.

Because you've never been one to handle surprises well, you keep thinking about it as you make your way from the elevator to the car. But all your thoughts disappear the moment you see Chan.

He still wears the clothes he had on during his program. His black hair is neatly combed and his bangs are up, even if a few strands fall on his forehead from the effort he put in during the day. He is so handsome and you can swear he looks like a prince. Now not only is your heart beating faster, but it has practically skipped a few beats.

He smiles tenderly when he sees you and opens his arms to you, and you can't help but run towards him. His strong arms catch you when you throw yourself at his chest. Chan embraces your waist. He picks you up off the ground, spinning around with you a few times while you wrap your arms around his neck and giggle.

"I missed you so much, baby." he whispers to you with his face hidden in your hair.

He puts you down, then takes you by the hand, leading you to the passenger seat of the car. You would like to tell him that you missed him too, to kiss him and never let him go from your arms. But you don't get to do any of these things because Chan has already opened the door, signaling you to get in the car.

"We have to hurry. We don't have much time left."

You listen to him without saying anything more. You get into the car, and he closes the door and runs to the driver's seat. Your lover gets into the car and starts it without saying another word, paying attention to the exit from the parking lot.

"Where are we going?" you asked him curiously.

"Right now it's a secret."

"Why are you being so secretive today?" you say while practically pouting and kicking your feets on the floor of the car.

Chan laughs at your reaction. He always manages to bring out the childish part in you. Maybe because he makes you feel so safe? You don't know, but you don't complain at all. This makes Chan laugh, and you are absolutely in love with his laugh.

The boy looks for your hand, entwines his fingers with yours, then brings your hand to his lips. He kisses you softly, then quickly looks at you.

"You have to wait a little longer. You'll find out right away where we're going, okay? But I promise you'll like it." he assures you.

"So we're not going to the party."

"You said we could have our own party." He reminds you as his eyebrow rises provocatively, a smirk playing at the corner of his full lips.

Your stomach tightens in anticipation. The place where his lips touched your hand still burns, and you swear Chan can hear your heart beating. You two have been together for a long time, but he still has that effect on you. And something tells you that he will always have it.

"I hate you." you tell him jokingly, while you look out the window at the city that you quickly leave behind.

Chan's sweet laugh swells the inside of your car, along with your heart and the rest of your universe.

"No, you don't."

"Watch your step." Chan warns you, while he helps you out of the car. "Wait for me, don't take a step without me."

You are almost at the top of a mountain. Or a bigger hill. Well, you don't know exactly where you are, but it's an uphill road. And even if Chan climbed most of the way by car, it seems that you still have to cover a portion of the road on foot. A bumpy road, full of bigger and smaller stones, not suitable for your high heels. So you listen to him because the last thing you want is a broken leg and a visit to the hospital on New Year's Eve.

Chan makes sure the car is stopped and the doors locked, then he comes to you.

"Where we are? And what are we doing here?" you ask him again.

You look at your boyfriend as he can his phone from his pants pocket, looking briefly at the clock display.

"You will find out immediately. Come up." he answers you, then lifts you up in his arms easily. He starts with you up the road, cold steam coming out of his mouth.

It really is much colder than it was in the city, but you being like this, pressed against Chan's chest and his arms around you, his warmth surrounds you immediately.

"You're just not going to walk with me like this all the way." you say slowly.

"Actually, that's exactly what I plan to do. There's no way I'm letting you walk alone." he tells you, looking at your shoes."

"But I'm heavy.", you complain.

"You are light as a flake, baby girl."

You know this is not true, but Chan's power is incredible. And even if he couldn't carry you, he still would have found a way to do it. He is simply the kind of person who sacrifices himself for others. His heart is huge, and that made you fall in love with him from the first moment you met this beautiful man.

"The road isn't that long," he continued to reassure you. "I come here sometimes and run with one of the boys, very early in the morning, when this whole area is still deserted."

"Changbin?" you ask knowing that he and Chan are always gym partners.

Chan laughs.

"Binnie is not really the type who prefers to run. I come here with Minho. Sometimes Felix joins us. It helps us clear our minds and put our thoughts in order. It's the first time I talk so much when I'm on this road."

He laughs again, the kind of laugh he has when he remembers good times he has with his boys.

Chan really loves his friends. You don't ask for too many details about the life he has with them outside of your relationship. Chan tells you things from his own initiative. He is almost always out with them, so you always find out about a cute thing they have together. Being here, in a place that seems important to them, feels like a very intimate moment. It feels like when Chan just gave you another little piece of himself. And this is something that always amazes you. Despite the distance that is often between you, your communication is excellent and healthy. But still you have the impression that you always find out new things about him and his little universe.

"I think the sunrise is gorgeous from here. The last time we saw a sunrise was last summer, when we went to Australia together to visit your family."

"We can come here together. Is it good for you?"

You nod, looking at Chan with love in your eyes. He is always willing to fulfill your every wish.

"But I hope you will let me know in advance. I need to equip myself properly. Tonight I didn't even have time to put on make-up, plus if I had known, I would have put on something suitable."

"You don't need makeup." your boyfriend tells you. "Besides, I planned this in a hurry and ran off schedule."

"You did what?"

"I was afraid that I would not arrive until midnight. And I didn't want to miss this with you." he explained innocently.

"Chan..."

"I think we're here." he interrupts you, sitting down with your feet on the ground. He supports you, making sure that you are stable on your feet.

"Are you ok?"

"Yes." you answer looking around you.

You really are at the top of a hill, surrounded by trees and small rock formations. You want to face what you think is the edge of the hill, but he quickly covers your cheeks with his big hands, forcing you to stay in place.

"Don't come back yet. Listen to me first." he begins.

Chan moves his hands away, and the cold attacks his cheeks. You want to tell him to touch you again because nothing in the world feels better than his touch, but you remain silent because you see him notice how his red ears from the cold get redder. His lips purse into an adorable line, and he claps his hands in tiny a few times. You try to catch his eyes, but Chan avoids it by looking at your shoes. There are clear signs that he is emotional and trying to gather courage.

"Channie? What's going on?"

Chan clears his voice, then holds out his hands to you, waiting for you to offer yours. It looks like a little boy getting ready to kiss his girlfriend for the first time.

"I want to apologize for bringing you here like this. It was crazy, but I have to do this."

"Channie, this is not..." you try to say.

"Please, let me talk or I'll run all the way back to the studio and lock myself in there." he says, even looking like he's about to do it.

You laugh, what he makes him laugh and relax. As you laugh, you cover your mouth with your hand, but he hurries to remove it.

"I love your smile, so let me see it, please. In fact, you are absolutely stunning. This dress looks incredible on you and deserves to be seen on a special occasion. But I messed it up, so you didn't have the chance. So I improvised."

Chan stops for a moment, putting his hand in one of his coat pockets. He takes out a small black box from there, which almost makes your heart stop. You look at Chan in shock, eyes wide in amazement. He chuckles.

"It's not what it seems. At least, not yet." he explains, glancing at you to see what effect his words have on you. "But it's our anniversary in a week, so I bought you something. As you well know, I will be away on tour then, so I think this is a good time to give you this."

He opens the box, letting you see the contents. Your eyes find the most beautiful chain you've ever seen. You reach out your shaking hands for the small box, and Chan hands it to you. You touch the pendant in the shape of the moon, amazed by its beauty. Part of it is full of black crystals, while another smaller part is covered with white crystals. You lightly touch the cold and shiny crystals with your finger in the light of the real moon. These shiny things form the phase of the moon at the time you were born.

"You like it?" Chan asks you, and you nod your head because you feel unable to speak. "Turn it over."

You carefully turn the pendant on the other side. On the back of it you find your and Chan's initials, the date you two decided to become a couple and the phrase "I love you to the moon and back." Tears flood your eyes, and you hurry to hide your face in his coat. His arms embrace you, clinging to him and hugging you to his chest.

"Christopher, this is absolutely gorgeous. I don't even want to know how much money you wasted on something so beautiful." you say for tears of happiness.

Chan's hands find your cheeks again, this time wiping away your tears with his thumbs.

"Money spent on important people is not a waste. You are not a waste, you never will be. The money can be brought back, but what you give me is absolutely priceless." he speaks as he carefully removes the chain from the small box. He leans over you a little to put it around your neck, while you help him by holding your hair up with shaking hands.

Chan carefully places the moon pendant at the base of the space between your breasts, then places a tender kiss on your forehead.

"You want to know why I took this from you in the shape of the moon?"

"Because we both love it?" you try to guess.

"I mean, yeah. That's a reason too. But I bought this for you because... " he pauses, looking somewhere behind you.

The area around you is flooded with color, followed by a loud sound.

Fireworks.

Chan smiles widely, then takes you in his arms again and turns you around, finally facing the edge of the hill. The city unfolds in front of you, together with the fireworks show that takes place in the center of the city. The sky changes colors, the night becomes day. Standing like this, with Chan giving you a back hug and with the play of light and colors in front of you, you have the impression that you and your beloved Chan exist in the world.

"You are as stunning as these fireworks. You are the one who colors my life and every time I see you, I can't take my eyes off you. But I don't want you to be just a firework in my life." Chan unbuttons his coat, wrapping you both in it, then rests his chin on the top of your head.

"Then what do you want me to be?"

The fireworks show is still going on, so you basically have to shout to hear each other. But Chan seems to have another idea, for him he sticks his lips to your ear.

"My moon. I wish you to always be as present in my life as the moon is in the sky. Never disappear, even when I'm far away and I can't see you."

Chan's voice is low in your ear, and you're almost certain that if he didn't hold you in his arms, your knees wouldn't have been able to resist.

However, you turn to face him, clinging to him.

"Then you have to get ready, Bangbang. Because I'm willing to be your moon, your sun, or whatever else you want. I'm not going anywhere."

Chan's left hand finds the back of your head. His lips stick to yours, giving you a soft, careful kiss.

"Happy New Year, baby." he breaks the kiss for a moment, speaking the words against your lips.

Then he kisses you again without offering to answer him. And it's perfect. Nothing could make this night better.

Masterlist ☾ Coffee ☾ Request ☾ Tell me what you're thinking

#bang chan #bang chan fanfiction #bang chan fanfic #bang chan fluff #bang chan x reader #bang chan scenarios #bang chan imagines #stray kids imagines #stray kids fanfiction #stray kids fanfic #stray kids fluff #stray kids scenarios #skz #skz fanfic #skz fluff

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