#every male had a vagina at least once in their life

[irenic-raccoon]

A penis is just an outwards vagina and a vagina is an inwards penis. Everyone has a penis and everyone has a vagina.

[sisterofsomeone]

Till Death Do Us Part

Chapter 1/?

Summary: On a wedding day in Baldur’s Gate, a marriage is sealed with a sanctified bond. A powerful magic that allows your minds to meld and cannot ever be undone. It is also required to share your darkest secret for the bond to be bestowed. There is a common myth passed around that once, a very long time ago, a woman was tricked into marriage by a demon of sorts and only found out when they wed. Every wedding at that moment the room falls silent, waiting for another scream, another myth making secret to be revealed. You just never thought you would be witness to it.

Series Warnings: Wonwoo x fem!reader, slight Seokmin x fem!reader (because I can't help myself), established relationship/situationship, angst, fluff, swearing, drinking, smoking, there are references to end game BG3 and spoilers for the whole game so please proceed with caution! smut MDNI 18+, unprotected sex, pet names (baby girl, pretty girl, princess), oral sex (male and female receiving), breeding kink, slight daddy kink, size kink, reader has a vagina that gets described as a pussy/cunt, slight dub-con for a second then clear consent, (more will be added as the series goes on!)

Word count: 3.5K

Author's note: Hello again! I was originally going to write this as a oneshot, but I just kept writing and writing and felt that I really wanted to try and flesh this world out. So, it's becoming a series! I cannot promise regular updates as I am in my final year of university, and start back up at my graduate job in september, but I am really enjoying writing this so I'm aiming for at least once a month, but maybe more. I do also have another series in the works which I want to post soon as well, so keep on the lookout for that one! I’ve never written anything like this before so bear with me if it’s not very good! Please enjoy, I really do hope this is entertaining for you, and have a wonderful day/afternoon/evening! Lots of love, Caitlin <3

This is a work of fiction and in no way is meant to represent the actions, ideals, or attitude of the idol Jeon Wonwoo.

Baldur’s Gate. The jewel of the Sword Coast. Granted, you never knew there was supposedly a dragon sleeping under the city before the invasion, but still. A wonderful place to live. Life here was easier for someone like you, the eldest daughter of the Apothecary Merchant. Father had spent most of the money he made to dress you in the finest of clothes, hire chefs to teach you to make the finest of meals, and ensure you were surrounded by the best trained ladies in waiting possible. Status meant everything to him, and you knew you had to marry up to please him. Being the eldest of three girls, you were schooled in house making, cooking, mathematics, business, politics- anything and everything that would endear you to one of the knowledgeable and wealthy bachelors your father was hoping to wed you to. Your younger sisters however were afforded the luxury to follow their throws of passion and learn dance, music, or geography to teach and travel. You didn’t much care for home making, your fascination with the foul words in other languages usually left your tutor giggling after you begged her to teach you them. You were smart, quick with numbers and well versed in politics and business. It was something your father loved about you. The daughter that would lift them even higher in status. You were his political pawn.

You were with your mathematics tutor when she burst through the door. Your mother, her face flushed, chest rising and falling rapidly with her heavy breaths.

“The- The King wants you to attend the ball.” She spoke. “The ball for the princes to choose their brides. He has called for you specifically.”

“Oh?” You didn’t so much as look away from your work, still toying away with the problems in front of you.

“Yes! Oh Gods girl, what are we to do with you?” Your tutor excused himself as your mother swanned towards the large windows. She was as dramatic a woman as you had ever met, and you loved her for it. Turning to face you, her dress billowed, and it struck you yet again how beautiful she was. You knew she used to be the catch; the young daughter of a cattle farmer swept into the Sword Coast by her wild fancies and taking Baldur’s Gate by storm. She married your father in a rather quickly arranged match, both being only 21 and your bump already starting to show through her clothes. She had always held a special place in your life, and the closeness in age only solidified your bond.

“You’re to help me avoid it. You know I want nothing to do with the royal family.” You raised an eyebrow, smirk playing on your lips as you turned another page in your book.

“It’s such a shame. You should go, if not for yourself but for me. It says and family and you know how much your sisters and I would love it!” Her fingers danced across the edge of the paper, twirling the red silk ribbon that used to hold the envelope closed as she read and reread the words.

“You know, there must be a specific reason they invited you. I heard only four girls and their families were invited specifically by name.” He voiced wavered, tone light, eyes meeting yours with that twinkle you knew meant trouble. Sometimes it felt like you were the parent in this.

“Will I need a new dress?” With that she squealed and swept you into her arms.

“Oh darling! You are going to love this!” Untangling her arms from around you she ran from the room and to the staircase.

“Girls! Darling! Come downstairs, your sister has an announcement!”

It was dark outside when you were finally allowed to rest. Your mother had dragged you and your sisters around every tailor in the city, eventually settling on a beautiful, glittered gown from the Facemaker’s that made it look like you were dripping in starlight. Your sisters marvelled at you, them seemingly more excited for your prospects than you were. As you stood before the full-length mirror, watching the way light danced across the dress you caught your own breath. You stood tall, the shimmering fabric laying against your body as if made solely for you. Your face now seemingly had the allure you always attributed to your mother, the colour of your eyes mirroring her own beautiful hue. It was the first time you felt a fraction as beautiful as her. That’s why you let your mother buy the dress, but you’d never tell her that.

The evening was warm as you took a book from the library and made your way to the balcony. Lighting the lamp on the table you slipped yourself onto the velvet covered seat and pulled the small blanket around your legs, hiking them up to your chest. It was here you sat, absorbed in the words of scholars until a small cough caught your attention. This was routine at this point, so you put your book down and pulled yourself from the seat, dangling a hand over the railing in front of you before leaning your head over. The man clasped your hand and smiled up at you.

It had all been an accident, you meeting Seokmin and Wonwoo. You weren’t supposed to be walking unescorted to Sorcerers’ Sundries, well technically you weren’t supposed to be walking there at all, but what Father didn’t know wouldn’t hurt him. You had stopped but for a moment to watch the magic show at the front entrance when you felt a hand dip into your pockets. You grasped their wrist and turned, only to be met with a small child.

“I’m-I’m so sorry miss, please let me go.” The tiny tiefling looked terrified, eyes wide and lower lip trembling. Immediately you dropped your guard, gaze softening and grip on their arm loosening.

“Child, no need to be scared I won’t call the Fists. But let’s not go picking anymore pockets hm?” They nodded, thanking you as they scurried away. Thats when you heard the laughter. Two tall men, eyes dark and trained directly on you and the scurrying child.

“What are you two laughing at huh?” The slightly broader one cocked an eyebrow at you, and the other pointed behind you. There you saw the scared tiefling, not so scared anymore as them and their friend – who you hadn’t noticed until now – were poking their tongues out at you as they waved a purse above their heads.

“That’s mine!” You shouted as they hurried off, tails wagging and giggles filling the dark streets.

“You fell for that hook line and sinker.” One of the hooded men let a plume of smoke escape his lips and curled them into a smile. “Are you new here or something?”

“No, no. Look at her, she’s a sheltered little princess I bet.” The other said, closing the distance between you and him. You finally got a good look at him. Dark eyes, golden tanned skin, a smile spread across his face that lit a fire in your stomach. He leaned down, face now only inches from yours. “Such a sheltered little princess, aren’t you?” There was an earthiness to him, a woody smell that danced under a zesty citrus. This was no commoner’s perfume.

“Who are you?”

Wonwoo’s eyes shone from below you on the balcony, that same smile lighting that spark deep in your soul. He was intelligent, worldly, but most of all, he was kind. He climbed up the balcony as usual, pulling you into his embrace and kissing you. It was hot, fiery and passionate. It always felt like he was swallowing you whole, devouring every part of you. He pushed you backwards, lowering you into the plush of the loveseat as his body covered your own. His mouth never left yours, tongue playing against your bottom lip as you gave him entrance. He moaned, fingers running through your hair and pulling, revealing the length of your neck to him. He kissed down it, careful not to leave any marks as he did so.

“My beautiful girl, my pretty girl.” His lips left a searing trail down to your chest, his hands trailing down your sides, bunching up your dress to reach your core.

“Wonwoo, baby, we can’t. Not tonight.” It was almost useless, his lips never stopped working against your neck, teeth nipping at your pulse point. “Wonwoo, baby.” A whine left him that had a throb course through your body and set that flame burning.

“Don’t tell me to stop baby please.” He kissed you again, hands never stopping their assault on you. “Please don’t tell me I can’t play with my pretty girl’s pretty pussy.” His eyes darkened, teeth bit down harder, and you could almost feel the punctures from his canines.

“This pretty pussy has been invited to the King’s ball. This pretty pussy might have just been sold off by her ever-scheming father.” He stalled at this, hands stopping their assault and mouth leaving your skin.

“What?” His eyes were trained on yours as you swallowed thickly.

“We got the invitation today. Gods know how he did it. But he did.” Wonwoo moved off you, settling into the space beside you.

“Are you happy? With the idea I mean?” You let out a short laugh, cold and harsh.

“Happy? Why would I be happy? No one has ever seen them, been allowed near them, and what? I’m supposed to marry one of them. Be used as breeding stock. Finally put all this stupid training to use.” He laughed softly from beside you.

“You think this is funny? My life being sold off to the highest bidder and you laugh?”

“No! No, it’s not like that I promise.” His arms were around you again, pulling you into his chest. “I think there’s more to this than you know. Go to the party. You might be pleasantly surprised that’s all.” His lips were on yours again. “And no matter what happens, I’ll never let anyone else touch you the way I do.”

The morning broke through your curtains and the man beside you stirred. His chest was warm beneath your cheek as you kissed the arm draped around you.

“Darling, you must go before we get caught. Again.” He groaned, rolling the pair of you over, trapping you beneath him. That smile was back, softly lit by the warm glow of the sun pouring in through the windows. “Wonwoo, baby please.” His lips were soft against yours, pouring love into you like there was no tomorrow. His fingertips danced across your skin, raising goosebumps in their wake. He rolled his hips into you, want evident at the broken gasp that left his lips. “Wonwoo baby.” You moaned out, fingers moving to his shoulder blades. He rolled his hips again, the slickness of your cunt allowing for him to rock smoothly and bump his cockhead into your clit. “Wonwoo, we can’t.” But your body gives you away, the roll of your hips as you shake beneath him has him lining up instantly.

“Princess, say no right now and I won’t do it. But say yes and I’ll give you a baby. I’ll fuck you so full it has no option but to stick. You’ll be mine.” Your lips chased his as you nodded frantically against him.

“Yes Wonwoo, yes yes yes.” He pushed in, cock stretching you as you raked your nails down his back. His thrusts were deep, angling his hips to hit that spot inside of you.

“My princess wants a baby yeah? Wants me to fuck her full?” He growled into your ear, hips smashing into yours.

“Please, wanna make you a daddy.” You purred back. His hand snaked between your bodies, fingers rubbing circle after circle into your swollen clit as you arched up into him. He never stopped kissing you, never stopped whispering praise into your mouth as you came around him.

“Please Wonwoo, want you to fill me up. Please.” You dug your nails into his skin, drawing a hiss from him. He’s panting, sweat lining his forehead as he thrust into you again and again, bringing you to orgasm over and over until you couldn't take it anymore. He pushes you over the edge again and again, having you crying his name into his mouth over and over as you beg for him to finish in you, mark you as his.

But he doesn’t. He pulls out as he always does and finishes onto your thigh. It’s over then, the light shifting to a cold blue as the sun shifts behind a cloud. He moves away from you, gathering his clothes and dressing.

“When will I see you again?” He pauses, eyes meeting your own.

“You won’t see me like this for a while. At least, not this version of me.” You don’t know what that means, but he doesn’t give you any time to ask as he kisses you again so softly. His hand caresses your face, thumb rubbing your cheek as a tear falls from his face and onto yours. “But you will see me again, I promise.” As he pulls away, he places a final kiss on your forehead before stepping back towards your balcony. You let him go like you always do, but not without that horrible hole ripping through your chest.

The night of the ball drew closer, and there was no sign of Wonwoo or his brother. You were alone. The lessons ramped up, your father wanting there to be no chance of failure. You were his pawn, and he was so ready to make that final check. Your mother tried to get through the walls you put up, your sisters gushed every day about how lucky you were, how you were going to have the life of your dreams. But you weren’t. You wouldn’t be with Wonwoo. Wouldn’t be able to kiss him again, wouldn’t be able to hold him. You’d never be able to make him a dad.

“Your invitation madam?” Your mother was positively glowing with excitement, your sisters each hanging off one of your arms, you suspect to stop you from running. Your mother presents the invitation, and the guard cocks an eyebrow. “Please, this way for special guests.” You were escorted towards a separate entrance, a large pair of white wooden doors beset by giant boars on each side. The doors were parted for you, and the entrance was the most beautiful you’d ever seen. You were ushered inside, your sisters gasping and pointing at the artwork lining the walls. But your eyes were drawn to the three other girls.

“They’re your competition child.” Your father pulled you aside from your sisters and scanned you from head to toe. “But you’ve got a brain to best all of them. Be smart, be strong. Be the girl I raised you to be.” You glanced back over to them. Each one you knew to be a member of one of the aristocracies, as you were. You vaguely remember having a run in with the half-elf, but if she remembered you, she gave nothing away in the cold gaze she returned.

“If everyone is now here?” A voice sounded from the stairs above you. Your eyes followed where it was coming from, and the woman you saw standing there was the most beautiful you had ever seen. Dark eyes, with even darker hair cascading down her back that held soft curls that bounced as she began to walk towards you all. You had never seen this woman before, but something pulled at you from your stomach as if you recognised her.

“You are all chosen specifically by the princes themselves. My sister's sons wouldn’t allow for our intervention, so feel very lucky. Some of you would never have made it this far.” Her eyes fell on you at this, and your father bristled beside you. “Now, if you’ll follow me.” She sauntered towards the large doors across the marbled floors. You moved to follow the queen's sister, silently cursing yourself for not recognising her as your legs pulled you along before your brain could think of a reason to turn and run. She demanded that the girls line up, manhandling you all into a line with you left on the end. Your families were to follow along behind, and not say a word.

There was a commotion behind the doors, music filled whatever room you were about to be ushered into and laughter and conversations could barely be heard through these giant doors. You tried to smooth out the non-existent wrinkles of your dress, hands moving on their own as you chewed on your bottom lip.

There was a moment of silence before the doors swung open, and an even longer moment of silence when all the eyes in the ballroom fell upon you. Your gaze flitted from person to person, not a single face you couldn’t put a name to. Families with daughters much better suited for this match burned holes into your skull from jealousy. You were standing there, with the whole world at your fingertips and their daughter wasn’t.

You were ushered down the steps before you, the sea of people parting as the four of you made your ways forward. Your eyes were on the floor as you had been instructed to do so, never for a second daring to look upon the men sitting at the other end of the ballroom.

“This is the half-elf Carmae of the Boat Merchant.” You were right about recognising her then.

“This is the high elf Dauphine of the Gold Merchant.” You heard her light steps, the small “Hello sirs.” that sounded so beautiful falling from her lips as she greeted the men.

“This is the wood elf Avalynne of the Cloth Merchant.” You were next.

“This is the human Y/n of the Apothecary Merchant.” You stepped forward, curtseying as you were taught, eyes moving up to acknowledge the men before you.

“Hello sirs-“ Those eyes. That smile. Wonwoo sat before you, hand rested on his chin as he surveyed you. You felt a churning in your stomach as you let your eyes fall upon Seokmin beside him. His soft curls sat upon his head as he smiled ever so softly at you.

“We can now begin.” The music started up again as the crowd of people swallowed you up. Your sisters beamed at you as people swarmed you. They wanted to know where you got your dress “The Facemaker.” You politely replied. Who did your hair? “My mother wanted to.” You smiled at them. You were pulled from conversation to conversation. Every family wanted a piece of you. But your mind was back on Wonwoo. Your heart calling out to him across the floor.

His eyes followed you, dark and cold like you’d never seen them before.

“Wonwoo, calm down. She’s yours I’m not going to take her.” Seokmin leant over to his older brother, giggling slightly at the older man’s demeanour.

“I know you’re not. But they might.” He followed his brother’s gaze to the men being introduced to you by their fathers. “It seems like being the prince’s chosen gives a girl a certain…” His eyes scanned the crowd of men now surrounding you. Your father ever so keen to get you introduced to as many of them as possible. You were trying to be amicable, that soft smile on your face hiding the discomfort you felt. The burn of jealousy coursed through his veins as he watched you laugh and smile at these fools. If only they knew what he’d done to you, the noises he could pull from you with just his tongue or fingers. The way you beg him to cum in you, the tears in your eyes as he fucks you through another orgasm. You’d be too much for those idiots, they couldn’t make you feel how he did. Couldn’t make your body react the way he did.

“The princes will now have their first dance with each of the chosen.” Wonwoo and Seokmin stood, and the floor was cleared again. You finally found yourself walking back towards the man who held your heart in his hands and smiled. Wonwoo noticed that it finally reached your eyes.

“It is lovely to meet you Y/n.” He placed a soft kiss against the back of your hand.

“It is my honour sir.” You smiled even wider this time as he drew you closer as the music began.

“I hope you’re a good dancer.” He flashed you that dazzling smile once more as the music began up again.

“I hope you are too sir.” You felt the flush creep up your cheeks as the two of you started to dance. Your eyes glued to his as he led you across the floor, his never once leaving yours. You finally got what he meant that morning. While this was a surprise, you’d help him play the part for as long as it took to get your Wonwoo back.

[f1crecs]

'Megaverse Monday - Week Seven

if your fic is on this list and you don’t want it to be, please let us know and we will remove it immediately, no questions asked. we have contacted most of the authors on this list, but sometimes people fall through the gaps - just pop us a message🤍

have a pairing you want us to do next? please read the faqs and then head to the inbox.

don’t forget to give the authors featured on this list some love in the form of kudos, bookmarks, and comments

did you know that this fandom has one of the highest percentages of a/b/o content? join us as we celebrate the fandom’s incredible omegaverse works every ’megaverse monday. 🤍

Charles/Pierre

nswf: See The World Go Wild by akirakurosawa | E | 4.4k

Pierre likes licking pussy, Charles happens to be in possession of one. Why I liked it: This fic is hot hot hot, gorgeous chussy (charles pussy) content, full of beard burn and pirales being unhinged about eachother – or as the author puts it, they fuck nasty. But disregarding the truly mindblowingly hot smut I liked the background of their relationship, which in true piarles fashion includes some not-actually-unrequited-love, and two stupid boys forced to actually communicate and confess their feelings by a convenient suppression failure.

“Male Omegas, in addition to occasionally having penises, also have vaginas,” the teacher had said, and Pierre jolted from his slumber because Charles was a male Omega, which meant that Charles, his sweet best friend who Pierre was definitely in love with, also had a pussy. A pink, sweet pussy, as sweet as he was, which Pierre could lick and suck and fuck into and - He got hard in the middle of the class, and it may have been the most embarrassing moment of his life, if anyone had noticed.

Charles/Max

nsfw: we go way back by @drivestraight | E | 13.8k

Max is in rut and has Charles on his list of emergency partners. Of course Charles helps him out, even if he is technically the enemy, because Max did it for him once. I really liked the style of this fic, the way that past encounters fit so seamlessly with the present storyline and also help make sense of the situation and the characters and show a real coming of age arch. The motivations of both Max and Charles are both obvious yet become even clearer as the fic goes on.

There’s no use overthinking it. He already made his decision. No, that’s not it—there was no decision to make. He was always going to do this. There was no other choice.

Carlos/Charles

nsfw: healthy rivalry by venerat | E | 10k

Omega Charles and alpha Carlos help one another out each month with their heats and ruts. Of course, they are madly in love with one another but neither of them realises it's mutual. This series is very hot but the guys also are incredibly sweet and caring with one another, each taking gentle charge of the other when it's needed. Neither one of them is in custody of the brain cell but there is a suggestion by the end of it that they are at least starting to figure out there is more between them than this arrangement they have.

Charles is gorgeous when he comes, flushed and unselfconscious and all pure, unchecked need. Carlos fucks him through it until he’s is slack and spent, his eyes closing where his head flops against the leather of the seat. “Good omega,” Carlos whispers. His heart beats in his stomach, beats in his knot, which is still stretching Charles wide. Fifteen or so minutes, for the first knot. Fifteen minutes that they’ll have to stay in this position, since Carlos doesn’t trust himself to readjust without risking Charles’ discomfort. He curses his choices after just five minutes. His thigh burns as he stays crouched over Charles in the backseat, muscles shuddering from the effort of keeping still. By the time his knot goes down enough to slip out of Charles’ dripping hole, his body is stiff and screaming protests.

Logan/Oscar

nsfw: the red parts by @hollywoodsargeant | E | 14k

Oscar, an alpha, discovers his long-time friend Logan is a closeted omega. Logan has been overusing suppressants, and an extremely intense heat is finally triggered when he wears a hoodie of Oscar's. He begs Oscar to knot him, and Oscar does. Logan is mortified afterwards. This story is unreliable Oscar POV and his unsure inexperience and confusion is palpable, but so is his remarkable maturity and even-keeled nature. You see him learn and absorb this new information about Logan, and his concern for his friend’s comfort and well-being is touching.

When Oscar wakes up, it’s dark outside, and Logan is facing away from him in bed. He’s not wearing Oscar’s sweatshirt anymore, and the sharp feeling that gives Oscar’s chest is guilt-riddled at best. He lays flat on his back and stares at the line between Logan’s shoulder blades, where he’s tense, sheets hitched up just above his waist. Oscar is laying on top of them, and he’s still sweaty everywhere. The way Logan’s shoulders move betray that he’s awake. Oscar reaches for him, fingertips on the very edge of his spine, feeling Logan tense under the touch. “Logan,” Oscar says, voice careful, like he’s walking on broken glass. Logan goes dead-still, and faintly, Oscar catches that awful click-click sound, Logan biting the skin off his thumb. “Are you—” “Can we just forget about this.”

thanks to @lydia-petze, @frickinsweet and @maaxverstappen for compiling this weeks list! 🤍

[elliespuns]

I was wondering, would you mind introducing yourself a bit? Your age, hobbies (except for blogging of coure), music taste, your favorite movies, etc? I love the content you post and i love you and I don't even know you. I wanna know my favorite blogger.. lol. Only if you're okay with it

First of all, thank you for such a lovely compliment. I love you too and I don't even see your blog, mate!

To answer you; I was answering something similar once. This anon sent me questions and I filled them in, so if you allow me to just copy and paste those so I wouldn't have to type it all again (nothing has changed since then, honestly) then I'll be happy to oblige.

How old are you? I'm 30

Tall or short? Very short, I'm only 5'1 ft, 1,56 m

Sexuality? Eh, I don't like labeling myself but if I HAD TO, it'd say bisexual/demisexual.

Describe yourself briefly I'm an introverted dork that doesn't vibe with most people. I dig music, art, and I love a lot. I either love too much or not at all. I've been vegan for over 10 years now and I love funny people. Other than that, I'm just a very poetic soul that also loves to play video games from time to time and I write. I write a lot.

Something you like about yourself? I'd say it's my knowledge in English. I've been self 'learning' it for 9 years now (never been abroad) and I was able to learn the language to the point where it became a huge part of my life. Like I literally use it more than my mother language. That's a thing I'd say I like about myself.

Favorite hobbies outside your blog? I write; creative writing, poetry. Both fulfil my mind. Then I love reading (ofc). I also draw, play video games, work with graphic programs and I love taking pictures.

Something no one would guess about you I have a very high sex drive, lmao 🫣😂 and people would never say so about me, because I literally look like I have a ribbon buckled to my vagina.

Weird quirks you have Oh, god, I can't stand hand cuts. Like you can literally show me a video of someone having their throat slit and I'll be fine, but then you show me a vid of someone having their palm sliced, or simply just someone cutting their finger and I'll go all asdfghjklsdfghjk.

One talent you wished you had Damn, I wish I could draw from imagination. I can draw but I can't seem to draw anything just by trying to see it in my head. That's so fucking frustrating. And weird. Anyone else having this problem?

A word your friends would use to describe you Idk about one word, but my best friend says I'm the funniest person she has ever met, so does that count? Lol, Idk why she says this. I'm literally a potato.

Craziest thing that's ever happened to you Omg, trauma alert… when my boss (a 70 year old male) caressed the top of my head telling me I'm pretty.

Have you ever been in love? Yes, for over 10 years now (no, it's not a fictional character, lol).

What is your biggest fear? Fuck, it's hurricanes and tornados. I actually have a phobia, it's called 'ancraophobia' and it's a fear of strong wind. (I swear I don't fear normal wind tho, I'm not that weird, actually, ok?).

Why did you start this blog? When I came here one day I realized that there were only a few blogs that were dedicated to the game stuff. So I said why the hell not? I didn't expect to have an actual fanbase here, it's crazy. Love you guys.

Your favorite food? Lentils, that's the shit.

Least favorite food? I'd say meat.

Favorite TV shows? Okay, not gonna mention TLOU cause it's obvious, but the very first show that pops into my mind every time is Breaking Bad. I love this show to bits. Then I also love TWD, OITNB, Better Call Saul, Wentworth, This Is Us, Lost, The Killing.

Favorite movie of all time? My most favorite movie of all time will forever be Ginger Snaps (2000). I've loved this movie ever since I was 11. It's been 19 years ever since and I still love it to pieces. Aaaaah!

Favorite musicians? I love a lot of music, but my most favorite is Damien Rice. I love that guy and what he does. Right behind him are Cigarettes After Sex and Mazzy Star (just pure love). Then it would be Joshua Radin, The Hope Arsenal, Yaeow, The Paper Kites, The Smiths, R.E.M., Blur, BoDeans...

Do you have any pets? My chonky boi guinea pig.

[gaycapfan19]

My name is Bob, and I am almost certainly a VERY Gay man. My only lingering doubts on this are related to my gender identity, NOT my sexual orientation, and these thoughts stem from the main reason that I managed to delude myself into thinking that I was Bisexual for most of my adult life (I know that some men truly are Bi, it just took me FAR too long to realize that I am not one of those men). I have never enjoyed heterosexual intercourse. Only once in my life have I ever been able to climax that way, and only because I imagined that the woman I was fucking (a bitch who insisted on having sex with me with the lights out) was cheating on an imaginary boyfriend who (in my mind) caught us in the act and, instead of stopping us, told me to keep fucking his woman while he fucked my ass to keep me hard enough to finish inside her (THANKFULLY I had a condom on). It has always bothered me that I could not truly enjoy vaginal intercourse because I have, on multiple occasions, genuinely enjoyed eating pussy. Not because of the taste (I have NEVER liked that), but because I like giving people orgasms. Also because I did my research and I knew what I was doing with the few vaginas that I've gone down on, and I genuinely hoped that my mouth and tongue would never fail to give at least one orgasm to every woman I ever went down on when I was younger (Pussy Free since April 2008!!!).

It is a genuine crime against Humanity (committed by Nature itself) that Evolution made it so the female orgasm is never guaranteed, and I HATE such unfairness (biological or otherwise). On an unconscious level, I believe that this desire to see women ALWAYS get the orgasms that they deserve is what drew me to lesbian porn (which has ALWAYS made me cum MUCH harder than straight porn ever has, and straight porn only really works when I watch clips of videos that either feature blowjobs by women who genuinely enjoy sucking dick or anal sex featuring women who truly LOVE taking it in the ass, and even then these videos only work if I imagine myself as the woman). I know for a fact that I don't want to fuck a pussy ever again, because my little Gay dick is just shy of six inches and it will NEVER be up to the task of giving women the orgasms that they deserve, even if I actually did want to feel a vagina wrapped around my little Gay dick again (which I DON'T). But a part of me will still ALWAYS want to forget my homosexuality and ignore the bad taste of vaginas so I can give women the oral orgasms that they deserve, that FAR too few straight men are willing to put in the work to give to their women properly. If I'm being honest, willingly being able to give to women what too few straight ever care to is probably the only reason I truly enjoyed eating pussy at all. It was work, (something that no sex act should ever feel like), but it still felt oddly fulfilling... until I was expected to fuck the women I went down on and then could never "deliver" for either of us during that "main event." Sigh...

Lesbian porn helps me to rationalize my desire to give women orgasms that will never "agree" with my homosexuality. By imagining myself as a woman pleasing other women, the idea of eating pussy suddenly becomes Gay, and Gay sex stuff is something that I can quite easily get behind. This has also led me to wonder about my gender identity. If imagining myself as a woman pleasing other women gets me off as hard as it does, then maybe I am actually a Transgender woman and not a Gay man. I'm also incredibly turned on by the idea of crossdressing before having Gay male sex, so maybe, if I AM a Trans woman, I wouldn't even be Gay at all. Maybe I was right to call myself Bi all along and I just got my gender identity wrong this whole time. Who honestly knows? I'm keeping my options open on that, but until I know for sure, and as long as my body remains distinctly male, I am 100 percent Gay until I am proven to be Trans. My mouth may not hate pussy as much as one would expect a Gay man's mouth to do so, but my penis certainly does. So, we'll see how things turn out...

[sarahistryingtowrite]

thank you, Greta Gerwig, for guiding me to embrace womanhood

Never in my life did I would root for Barbie. But thanks to Greta, I have come to admire her.

—

Growing up, I did not embrace my identity as a girl. Being born with a vagina is a huge burden in a man’s world. I must work twice as hard to prove myself, stay alert to protect myself, and keep myself looking presentable. It’s too much for 10-year-old me to handle every day (well, it’s still too much for current me). So, I imitated boys to make my life easier.

For a while, being a tomboy helped to simplify my life. My schoolmates heard my thoughts, and the boys never teased me anymore. Yet, it won’t ignore that I am still a girl. My dad was still setting a later curfew on my little brother. I got cat calls at least once a week. And worst of all, even as a teenager, I had seen grown-up males exposing their ugly genitals without my consent twice.

I never felt like I was born in the wrong body. Yet, the hardship of being a girl caused me to experience a mini gender identity crisis. I wish I were a boy. Or at least, I had a bigger body that people thought I was a boy.

—

The idea of femininity never appealed to me until I met Greta Gerwig.

Lady Bird was my first encounter with Greta. Watching Lady Bird, Greta and I shared a similar upbringing. It feels like receiving reassurance from an older sister. “Be brave and accept all of your feelings; everything will be OK. Try something new while staying true to yourself.” I think that’s what Greta tried to say through her directorial debut. It resonates so much with me.

Although I began to accept myself as a woman, the internalized misogyny remains ingrained in my unconscious mind. I may look up to those girl bosses, but still, I desert feminine qualities.

Greta was the only reason I watched Barbie, and she gave me so many reasons to love Barbie (and also Ken!) Barbie is much more than the stereotypical airhead blonde chick. She may be a bit naive, but she is capable of so much. Barbie understands the world through her head and her heart. Her kindness has touched so many people. Ken, on the other hand, is not as full on himself as we believe. He’s just a kind gentleman who’s a little unsure of himself.

—

To be honest, when I found out the patriarchy wasn’t about horses I lost interest - Ken 

—

Maybe this world never has ill intentions for women. All the social conventions we encounter, including patriarchy, could be the result of our naiveté. Perhaps we are only as unsure as Ken, hiding behind patriarchy to appear powerful in public. We’re just a group of good people trying to figure out how to survive on this planet.

Unlearning patriarchy is a journey for me. I’m already convinced that I’m just as good as the dude. Now it’s time for me to relearn how to embrace femininity like I did when I was six and obsessed with pretty dresses. To be proud become a girl’s girl.

I’d like to believe that Barbie chose to return to the real world so she could help us find our Kenergy. A thoughtful world is not impossible, like what Barbie had built in Barbieland.

[qnewsau]

Haz'ell LaBelle and a memorable Brisbane's Queens Ball

New Post has been published on https://qnews.com.au/hazell-labelle-and-a-memorable-brisbanes-queens-ball/

Haz'ell LaBelle and a memorable Brisbane's Queens Ball

On this evening of the 63rd Annual Queens Ball, we cast our minds back to memorable Queens Ball performance of days gone by, featuring the inimitable Haz’ell LaBelle.

Elaborate plans had been made to feature never-been-seen full-frontal nudity by Haz’ell and two male dancers. There were two main obstacles to overcome. Firstly, nudity remained illegal in Queensland. Secondly, neither male dancers wished to show everything.

Haz’ell had no qualms about stage nudity. She was infamous for wearing no underwear. But the male dancers, Colin and David, expressed reservations.Haz’ell assured them that strobe lighting would allow the audience sufficient glimpses of nudity to create a WOW factor but deny any focus on anatomical detail.

Haz’ell LaBelle arrives onstage aloft

They carried Haz’ell onstage aloft, sitting astride their shoulders in a dance position properly termed la grand écarté a la quatrième. It translates roughly as ‘big blown-apart 4th’ but is better known as ‘the splits’. Haz’ell enjoyed renown for both the splits and overhead height kicks, always sans underwear. Lady Godiva dismounted centre stage. The trio slipped into small garments to cover their modesty before the stage lights-proper came up.

Cheeky but not immodest. Well… not immodest on the night, at least.

Punchbowl Studios in Brisbane Arcade acted as official Ball photographer for many years. Sweida’s, perhaps the only local retailer of sequins and cheap wigs, was in the same arcade. Ball-goers visited before the Ball for costume supplies and afterwards for photographs.

Punchbowl displayed the numbered pics in their front window. Would-be purchasers placed an order and returned a few days later once the images were developed from the negatives.

Yes… archaic, we know.

The first visitor to the shop after this particular Ball looked in the window and discovered the photographer’s flash had cut straight through the strobe lighting, illuminating every tiny detail.

There, on public display, in JohBjelke-Petersen’s Queensland, large as life — two penises and a vagina — boldly despoiling the moral landscape of the deep north. Unheard of behaviour!

This in a state that insisted on a custom edition of Penthouse Magazine with g-stringed nude models. Even that sometimes proved insufficient for the local censorship board who disallowed the sale of the magazine until the nipples were covered. People once found gainful employment in Brisbane scrawling over nipples with a Nikko pen. The photographs were quickly removed from display, and they and the negatives destroyed.

That infamous time queens drank Wallaby Bob’s pub dry.

For the latest LGBTIQA+ Sister Girl and Brother Boy news, entertainment, community stories in Australia, visit qnews.com.au. Check out our latest magazines or find us on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and YouTube.

[dysphoriaposting]

Hey there. I saw your replies from the post about a trans woman's comic about being rejected my lesbians, and I see how in the start you at least seemed willing to discuss it fairly. I'm hoping that's still the case, because I don't think the women replying to it were all that helpful, and I'd like to try my case respectfully. I'm a gender critical radfem, but actually gender critical, not transgender critical, meaning I can hold my beliefs without being transphobic. I'll be respectful and use gender based language here, I just ask that you maybe give me a listen :)

Not wanting to have sex with someone doesn't make that someone a victim. When we start thinking that, it very quickly derails into rape apologism. The women in the comic who have rejected the original author had every right to do so, after all, consent can be freely given or taken away at any point. It would also have been the right course of action for the comic's author to have told the women beforehand that she was a trans woman, presumably pre-surgery. Someone's genitals does very much affect the way sex happens. The lesbians in the comic have every right, at any point, to decide to not have sex with someone. That doesn't change if that someone is trans! And it does not make them a victim - withholding sex is not an act of aggression.

I also saw one reply where you said 'she's not male, she's trans' but she is absolutely male. That's precisely why she is trans. If she was a woman and female, then she wouldn't be a trans woman but a cis one. A huge part of transgender ideology (I use this word for lack of better one, what I mean is the set of beliefs that support the existence of transgender identities) is that sex is ultimately meaningless if one so desires. If that is so, then it holds no power to be a mislabeling. Someone's sex becomes just another characterist, like gender and sexuality. By calling the women in the comic lesbians I am not insulting them, because that's what they are. By calling the author a male we are not insulting her, because that's what she is.

Lesbians are absolutely being pressured to learn to be attracted to penises. That can be put in many ways, like 'unlearn their transphobia' or 'unpack their genital preference', but that is what lesbians are being told to do. To learn to like dick. But sexuality is inate, it cannot be changed or denied or altered, and it is sex based - if it is not in one's experience, if wether a person has a penis or a vagina has no effect on a person's attraction to them, then they are not monosexual, but bisexual or if preferred pansexual. Even when arguing for the fluidity of gender, it's not fair to ignore the importane of sex in attraction.

Denying someone sex is not aggression. Being solely attracted to female or male genitals is not aggression.

I hope I've explained myself well. Thank you for reading!

Hey, I appreciate the chill language! However, I quickly learned that the sick feeling I had in my gut wasn't that amab can't be women, or that clearly the women in the comic were being bad (in fact, go off queens, you don't gotta be attracted to penis), but rather the fact that when this person made a comic with the general vibe of "Damn bro, guess I gotta keep searching, these women gave mildly rude responses and I'm hoping not everyone is like that" and it was posted as some sort of example of men who are just sorta trying out new dating strategies.

This was a woman trying to find a hookup, if not love. I won't listen to people who point their fingers and hiss when someone makes their experiences known, because it feels like tripping someone you know shoplifted once. Maybe not the perfect analogy, but that general level of "none of your business per aggression" scale.

I've lived my whole, honestly short life around someone with a source of power who has infected me with faulty ideals. I don't blame them, because you don't blame a dog for how they're trained. That being said, I'm making sure I spend a life bringing joy and not striking down innocent people.

I understand that it's disgusting or scary when someone assigned male at birth who is a woman tries to date you. I understand that not everyone can give each new person a flawless clean slate to prove themselves on. I even, to a point, understand the hate when so many cis guys come up with fucking rancid schemes, all these new ways to trick a girl into having sex with them.

However, I don't judge others with that bias. Not without proper reason to.

I'm not mad that those women stood up for themselves. I'm mad that all the reblogs were harsh reflections of those user's darkest emotions and memories, lashed out on the internet and plopped down squarely on my dash. I also understand that it was none of my business to reblog and reply. I should've just blocked all the posters and moved on.

Try not to think about me anymore, I don't plan to be foolish enough to expect everyone in the world to be sapiosexual anytime soon. 👍

[writteninsunshine]

Put Your Dick Into It - Fizzarolli/Asmodeus, RoboFizz/Fizzarolli - NSFW

Title: Put Your Dick Into It

Author: Keith

Fandom: Helluva Boss

Setting: Ozzie’s Home, Ozzie’s Club

Pairing: Fizzarolli/Asmodeus | Ozzie, RoboFizz/Fizzarolli, Asmodeus | Ozzie/Original Female Character(s)

Characters: Fizzarrolli, RoboFizz, Asmodeus | Ozzie, Original Female Character(s), Original Male Character(s)

Genre: Erotic/Romance/Humor

Rating: E

Chapters: 1/1

Word Count: 3103

Type Of Work: One-Shot, Day 4 Of 30 Days Of Fizzarozzie

Status: Complete

Warnings: Gay, Slash, Yaoi, MLM, AU - Omegaverse, AU - A/B/O, Teasing, Theft, Minor Violence, Minor Injury, Unsanitary, M/M/M/M/M, M/F, Ozzie Has A Dick Balls And Vagina, Fantasies, Public Sex, Exhibitionism, Macro/Micro

Disclaimer: I don’t own anything except the RoboFizzes

Summary: If nothing else, one of Ozzie's weird poems could probably be put to music.

AN: Hey guys, it’s me again! Just thought I ought to say, if you want vague updates and to talk to me more, I have a writing Tumblr, too! Twitter is Sunshinecackle, and Tumblr is Writteninsunshine! I also have a writing Discord that is currently pretty dead. xD If you want it, please contact me on Tumblr/Twitter!

I had so much fun with this, I hope y’all like it. It was meant to be so much shorter but in the end I just went where the prompt took me.

30 Days Of Fizzarozzie 2022 Fic Masterlist

Put Your Dick Into It

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

This had to have been the hardest thing he’d ever been asked to do, no pun intended.

Composing jokes and stand-up routines was something he’d always been adept at. He could improvise with the best of them, he’d made all kinds of demons and sinners alike laugh and smile with his creative prowess. Hell, he made Ozzie laugh and smile at least once every day. 

And yet, here he was, incapable of a single. Fucking. Word. 

Scrubbing his hands over his face, his mechanics whirred in their own form of a growl and he thought he just might combust. He’d never hit a creative block in his entire life, and here he was, struggling to put anything down on the fancy, lacy stationary he’d been staring at for the last two hours. The sides were covered in red swirls, dots, and hatched patterns that he’d laid down absently while he struggled to find words. He’d colored in the white lace against the deep red border in a few places, anything to move the pen in his hand. The pale pink lined portion in the middle remained untouched save for a scant few red dots at the top of the page. 

A frustrated grunt left him and he pulled his hands down his face, snarling at the wall across from him as if it was the reason for his upset. Glaring at the ceiling of his bedroom that he didn’t usually use, he strained his ears to hear the telltale scraping of Ozzie’s couch on the wooden floor as he slammed it into the wall. Sure was easy for him to fuck whoever’s lights out while Olli was down here suffering. He didn’t think he was necessarily jealous-jealous, but man did he think a good dicking would help his mood, at least. The demon no doubt getting plowed up there was definitely having a better time than he was.

After a moment, the jester finally turned his attention back to his impromptu art project, and with another growl, he thunked his forehead into the desk. Twice, then a third time for good measure, he gave a deep whine as he turned his head to the side, staring at the bedside table across from him. Usually, the sparse decoration and lack of character in this room didn’t bother him, but he suddenly had the bright idea to look up furnishings and decorations that weren’t so generic. 

Maybe ‘generic’ wasn’t the right word for the different pinks, greens, reds, and blues that covered every surface and made the room pop. The room dripped sex appeal, like any room that Ozzie graced with his creative eye, but Fizzarolli had never really made ‘his’ bedroom his. Almost from the first night he’d started staying here he’d stayed in Ozzie’s room, and that had never really changed. 

The bedroom in the basement housed his clothes, as it was easier than using an Ozzie-sized closet, and he used the bathroom down here most of the time, too. Showers with Ozzie were taken in the en suite bathroom connected to the King’s room, but if he took them alone, he was down here. Most of that was due to this part of the house being, for the most part, imp-sized. Well, imps and anyone else just as small and likely delicate as an imp. Ozzie had probably seen too many demons fall into his toilet before deciding to just get one the right size for them. 

The thought made Fizzarolli snicker, and he picked his head up from the desk, shaking his head. If only he could be spending his requested time sequestered away in the basement of Ozzie’s opulent home not being sequestered away to work. For a moment, he let his mind wander. Who was up there with Ozzie? Knowing his lover, it could be literally anyone, and maybe that was the welcome distraction he needed. 

Verosika, maybe? Nah, he couldn’t hear her moaning. Whoever he had couldn’t be Mammon, either, because he was a shrieky thing whenever he knew Fizzarolli was still home. The power behind whoever was doing the fucking could have been Paimon, he realized, and he screwed his eyes shut to see if he couldn’t hear Ozzie begging for it. That, he was sure, would tell him everything he needed to know, but he also recognized that any number of gags could be employed here.

This was taking him nowhere. He had to have these stupid lyrics done for tonight, and he hadn’t even started. Perhaps smashing his face through the desk and putting himself out of commission for a few days was the only way to make it through this. His hands gripped the burdensome wood firmly, and he raised one lip in disgust at himself. No, no, he couldn’t hurt his dashing clown face. It was half of his ability to make money, and something that Ozzie was intensely attracted to.

Not that he didn’t think that Ozzie wouldn’t pay out the ass (even if he had to make a deal with Mammon) to get him plastic surgery to fix the damage. 

Finally getting up, he figured he’d try a drink and a snack (and a peek into the living room) to see if any of those things helped. He was banking on the peek as good fuel for his work because a sandwich and some soda weren’t exactly sexy, but he didn’t really know. It all depended on the show put on for him, he supposed. If Ozzie caught him staring, it’d only get better, too. He was nothing if not a performer, too, which was why they worked so well, Olli thought. Both of them couldn’t resist putting on a show.

Taking the stairs three at a time, he figured that the faster he escaped his self-made prison the better. Maybe he was just running from it, but he wasn’t going to admit that. He’d never done this before, never had such a hard time with his work, never wanted to hide from it, and it was driving him batty. Rounding the doorway and walking into the kitchen, he closed his eyes and sniffed the air. Omega, he noted almost immediately. From the sounds they were making, he’d guess female, and she was getting absolutely ruined. 

An envious pang of arousal shot through his body and he sucked in a deep breath through his teeth. The Alpha’s scent soured as he stalked to the fridge, extending his legs so he could reach the handles to get his sandwich stuff. The freezer being on the bottom was easier for him to get into, but he couldn’t be fucked with cooking right now. He had work to do and he was already distracted enough. The continued thudding, the quiet begging on her part, and the hushed purr that was leaving Ozzie had him a little more growly than he wanted to think about. 

How many times did he forget his place in making a simple ham sandwich? Hell’s Gates, this was ridiculous. What was he going to see if he poked his head into the living room? Some pretty little succubus on her back? An imp on her side, one leg curled up against her side and the other up and folded back against her chest? Absently, he mused that it didn’t matter what anyone else could do for Ozzie, they couldn’t even dream of being as flexible as he was, even before his arms and legs were removed and replaced. 

Fond memories crashed into him and he just about dropped the jar of mayo onto the floor. As far as he was aware, Ozzie hadn’t noticed he was in the main floor of the house, and he kind of wanted to keep it that way. He heard the thrumming hum of Ozzie’s voice but couldn’t make out his words, imagining the kinds of depraved things he was saying to the Omega no doubt writhing beneath him. He felt his cock flip against his thigh, closing his eyes for a second to relish in the music they were making. He needed a drink and to stop making a Satan-damned mess, and he had to keep moving, but it felt impossible.

Whatever Asmodeus had said brought a gagged cry out of the girl with him, and it perked Fizzarolli up a little more. If he could just get to the vaulted ceiling, and he could do it, a little peek over the wall dividing the kitchen from the living room wouldn’t hurt. Ozzie had liked the gap between the wall and ceiling enough to remodel the damn house for it, and Olli had to admit it wasn’t that bad of an idea. Walking over the center island he’d made his sandwich on, he shot up to place his hands on the wall, watching Ozzie as he moved. 

Regardless of who had the reddish pink leg wrapped loosely around Ozzie’s slim hips, she was getting absolutely destroyed. Anyone Ozzie deigned to bring home, client, fling, or otherwise, typically left with jelly for legs and a dazed kind of crush. A soft chitter left him as he watched the steady pounding of his lover’s hips, and he clenched down on nothing, exhaling until his lungs burned and holding it. If he spent any longer staring, he was going to start stinking up the place, so he returned to the counter to grab his sloppy snack. Putting everything away could wait because he’d decided on going to Ozzie’s room instead. 

With a soda in hand and his sandwich leaving behind a trail of mayonnaise drips behind him as he bit into it, he hung right to take the few steps up to Ozzie’s room. Not particularly into the idea of leaving them behind, he found himself hesitating up each step to the door. There was a somewhat long landing between the two sets of three stairs, and he took it with delicate, small steps like he just might decide to go and ask for a threeway. Like that would go well.

He didn’t recognize the Omega’s scent, which told him that it was most likely a client that wasn’t going to want to pay an extra wad of cash to include him. Ozzie always jacked the price up impossibly high when Fizzarolli joined them, and so many of his johns and janes just didn’t request it. That was mostly the point, really, because Ozzie knew how he felt about other demons.

Opening the door to their room (he was more than ecstatic to call it that in his head), he listened for a moment to see if he could hear them. The robotic voices he recognized as an odd extension of his own chatted away in the side room off the main bedroom, and he made a beeline to them. Maybe one of the RoboFizzes could help him out. They were made for sex, so they could do this, right?

“Hey, guys–”

“Heeeeeeeey, Fizzy~” One of them replied coyly, almost immediately dropping his arms and the toy he held in both hands. For a second, he pressed it lengthwise against his crotch, notably resting it on his dick, before drawing it up to his chest to hug it like it was a plush toy, “We weren’t doing anything.” 

“Yeah,” Another added, the one that looked the oldest of the four. Ozzie had said that his were prototypes, save for one of them that had been the first finalized version off the line. 

“We’re behaving.” The newest one nodded definitively as he grinned, making an attempt at looking innocent despite the way his face was moving into a devious grin.

“Don’t worry about us, we’re just schemi–” The last RoboFizz was hushed by the first three, and Olli just rolled his eyes.

“Shut it, I don’t care. I need your help with something else, though.” His hands shifted from his hips to his chest, arms crossing as he looked away, “I have to write a song to sing at the club tonight, and I can’t figure anything out. I don’t know how to do this shit, and it’s killing me. Apparently, I can’t write a Satan damned song for the life of me.”

Each of the robots glanced between each other, their smiles falling slightly as they whirred and one’s processor grumbled a little. It was something they couldn’t seem to process because they knew that Fizzarolli’s blood was performance.

“Why can’t you do it? You’re usually good at that kind of thing.” One of the older models spoke, the red stripe down his face indicating he’d been the second prototype.

“I don’t fucking know. I’ve been staring at a blank page for two hours, and I can’t get my mind wrapped around doing anything for this.”

“Your brain’s empty?” The newer model asked, taking a step forward and placing a hand on Fizzarolli’s shoulder as an act of sympathy. A green stripe in the same vein as the others reached down his nose to denote which one he was.

“It’s like all my creativity just got zapped out of me. I can compose a stand-up routine easy peasy, I’m the best at improv, I can do anything with a simple prompt, but… This isn’t working for me.” It probably had to do with his lack of interest in sex if Ozzie wasn’t involved. Maybe if he thought more about fucking Ozzie he’d get somewhere, but that felt so personal it was hard to put details into something like that. Everyone knew they fucked, there was no way they didn’t, but letting people think something and confirming the thing were two totally different animals.

The RoboFizz with a purple stripe stepped forward, handing the giant dildo over to the yellow-striped one, leaning forward to catch Fizzarolli’s fallen eyes.

“You can do it, you know. I know you have it in you somewhere.” He paused, suddenly straightening up and snapping his fingers up near his face, “Wait! I have an idea.” A chorus of ‘yeah’s and ‘what?’s filled the room as the other robots crowded around them. Purple’s grin only widened and he preened at being the center of attention, “Why don’t you borrow some of Ozzie’s dirty poetry?”

“His… His what?” Olli’s head tilted and his eyes went wide, “He doesn’t write poetry. …Does he?”

“Oh, he does, and it’s juicy, could probably turn anybody into jelly without getting touched.” All four of the robots moaned in sync and Fizzarolli snorted with amusement. Really, he didn’t get the appeal of them being such sluts, it wasn’t like he was like that. Though Ozzie had a very different opinion on that thought. It didn’t take long before his favorite lay was a begging, whining mess most of the time, Ozzie didn’t even have to try. Just being wet and hard was enough for Olli, and Ozzie couldn’t help but take advantage of that as often as he could.

“Alright, where is it?” Fizzarolli watched as all four bots left the room, some of them bouncing and Green cartwheeling excitedly to the large, heavy wooden desk against the wall with the door to the bedroom. Extending his legs and leaping up onto it, he tugged at a sizable binder, bringing it over to where Olli stood on his elongated legs. 

“Here you go~ This binder has the,” He paused to make a loud kissing sound in a chef’s kiss, “Crème de la crème of his work. This’ll get anyone in the club wet and hard and if it doesn’t, they shouldn’t be there.”

The robot wasn’t even lying. Fizzarolli wasn’t usually one to use their expertise, but the four of them were happy to help him choose a poem and handle what it did to him. He had his lyrics, now all he had to do was get some music to go with it.

That night at the club, he sang his song like it was the most normal thing in the world, only citing that he had a little help with it from an anonymous ‘donor.’ During his spectacular performance, all Ozzie could do was smirk, because he knew who that ‘anonymous donor’ was. He absently stroked himself through his act, unable to find any anger inside his body. It really was hot. When his musical number was over and he’d announced the next act, the whole club reeked of horny Alphas and Omegas, and he knew he’d done a good job. Bounding up to Ozzie’s balcony, he grinned up at him like he knew what he’d done and wouldn’t be repenting for his egregious sins.

Ozzie loved that about him.

“Thought you were above plagiarism, Olli Baby.” He growled playfully, placing a hand on either side of Fizzarolli on the balcony, pinning him down against it. If nothing else, Olli knew he was hard, not just by his scent but the visual as his enormous cock bobbed right in his line of sight, dribbling onto the floor.

“Whose words are better than yours for something like this? It was a fuckin’ hit, too.” And he really wasn't wrong. Asmodeus chuckled darkly as he leaned in, nuzzling the other’s face before nipping his shoulder.

“If you wanted to use my work you should have asked. People are going to think I was the thief when I publish my collection. I’ll be forced to leave that one out.” He almost sounded pouty, and Olli purred loudly.

“You’re not mad at me, right?” Looking up his nose at the other, trying on the cutest face he had in his arsenal.

“No. But you are going to be punished for this.”

“Ooooooh, yes.”

“Turn around, pants off, and bend over Baby,” Ozzie growled, and Olli jumped to do it, whipping around and shoving his ass out with a delighted chitter. Shucking his pants, he whined as his cock slapped wetly against his stomach, no doubt staining his top.

“Good boy,” Ozzie purred into his ear, “See? You can behave. But a little good behavior won’t end your sentence.”

“I’ll accept my punishment like a mo-model citizen.” Feeling Ozzie thrusting against his stomach had his eyelids dropping to half-mast.

“Good. I’m going to ruin you right here, and you better not make a peep.”

“Y-yes, Master.”

Not that Ozzie was going to make it easy for him. No, Fizzarolli was going to struggle, he was going to have to suck on Ozzie’s fingers to keep himself quiet, and Ozzie was more than looking forward to it. If someone stared, so be it; They both loved to be the center of attention, anyway.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

AN: For a fic that was meant to be 1k or under, this became a damn monster. I still like it, though, it was so damn fun to work on.

Prompt: 30 Days Of Fizzarozzie Day 4 - Song

[supernatural-jackles]

Owe You One - Part 1

Title: Owe You One - Here’s the Deal

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Word Count: 6,290

Warnings: Bad Sex, Fluff, Playful Banter, Smut, Female and Male Receiving, Bit of a consent kink, 18+ only.

Summary:  Dean Winchester has been your best friend and neighbour for the last year. A year of finding comfort in random drop ins and casual conversations, but neither of you know the pasts that the other has. Not fully. Pasts that come back to haunt you, and ruin everything you want in life. Can you find what you’re seeking in a couple of favours and a good time between the sheets or is history doomed to repeat itself?

Square Filled: Neighbors!AU for @spndeanbingo​, Free Space for @spnkinkbingo​

A/N: It’s finally here!! I’m very excited to take you on this rollercoaster ride! Please leave your thoughts in the reblogs and replies! Feedback always keeps me going! Happy Reading! 

 “Fuck! I’m gonna come!” he called out, bucking his hips up into yours. You rolled off of him, taking the empty side of the bed as ripped the condom off, stroking his hard length. He rolled over, getting onto his knees so he could finish himself off on your body.

 The sticky liquid coated your stomach as he let out a loud grunt, still stroking his cock. One of his hands came down next to you, trying to balance himself as pleasure zapped through him. You lay there, trying not to utter a word about it. Did he really have to be that extra about it? Did he really have to rip the condom off and coat your skin in his - stuff?

 “Damn, you are something else baby,” he let out a chuckle. “I mean really something. Did you come?”

 “If you had to ask, then the answer is no,” you scoffed, rolling off the bed, completely unsatisfied. “Look, I’ve got things to do so you gotta go.”

 “Sure thing, baby. Can I call you later?” he grinned, looking over to you.

 “If you want to,” you said lowly, making your way into the bathroom. You heard movement on the other side of the door. It sounded like his jeans being put back on. You willed him to move faster. You wanted him out of your apartment. Nothing like shitty sex and a guy that lingered. You had no idea why you even tried with this one. He was as stupid as they came. Carl, or Keith? You couldn’t remember what his name was. You met him in a diner a few weeks back. He took you on one date, and fucked you the rest of the time. He wasn’t a good lay, and he was selfish as hell on top of that. There was nothing worse than that.

 You heard the front door shut with a click, notifying you that it was safe to leave the bathroom when you were ready to. You felt dirty and not just from sex. His hands were on you and they definitely weren’t the cleanest. You headed over to the shower, turning it on hot. You wanted to wash the gunk feeling off, along with everything else he left. What a waste of your time you thought to yourself. Why were you wasting your time with every guy that came along?

 You stepped under the stream, letting the water hit directly on your stomach. Washing away his finished product. You couldn’t believe that he had the nerve to ask you if you came. The man was lazy as hell, and didn’t know the difference between the clitoris and vagina. It was a complete and utter disappointment yet again. You had no idea why you kept him around when all he wanted was sex. He didn’t care whether or not you came, let alone about your life outside of the bedroom. There wasn’t a point in continuing when you weren’t happy with him.

 The hot water lulled over you muscles, relaxing you along with the apple scent of your shampoo. You always felt better after a good shower. No matter what the day held, or what went down. A shower made you feel clean and reduced your worries. There was a part of you that wanted to let your hand wander between your legs, just to finish yourself off. You had done it so often that it was becoming boring. Like a sad routine. You needed something more to get you there. Maybe you needed a new toy to play with.

 You shut the water off, stepping out of the shower and onto the grey carpeted mat. You reached for the blue towel on the counter, wrapping around your body before moving in front of the mirror. The mirror was fogged up, not that you needed it urgently. You felt a lot more refreshed.

 You dried yourself off, pulling on your black robe to cover yourself up until you grabbed actual clothes from your bedroom. You stepped out of the bathroom for a second, waiting for the mirror to clear up. You knew you had to get something out to cook for dinner before it got too late. It was already late enough.

 Your kitchen smelled of the apple cinnamon scentsy you had plugged in. It was supposed to help you get in the holiday spirit. At least, that was the point of why you put it in your cart when you saw it. It mostly made your apartment smell good. You walked over to the fridge, looking to see the chicken you had picked up at the grocery store the day before. You had some leftover salad to go with it. Enough dinner for tonight.

 You took the chicken out of the fridge, placing it on the countertop for when you got dressed. Three loud knocks at your door pulled out out of your thoughts. You had no idea who it could be at this time. You prayed it wasn’t doucheface showing up again. You weren’t sure you could handle anymore disappointment today.

 You twisted the knob, pulling the door open, only to reveal your next door neighbor standing in the doorway. He had a half smile playing on his lips as he stood in henley with the sleeves rolled up and a pair of jeans that fit him perfectly.

 “You always answer the door in your robe?” he smirked. “‘Cause if so-”

 “What do you want, Dean?” you chuckled, shaking your head.

 “Mhh what?” he furrowed his brows, clearly getting a good look at you in your black robe.

 “Dean, really?” you raised your eyebrow.

 “Sorry, you’re just,” he pointed at you. “Sorry, I came over to ask you if I could borrow your microwave for a second. Mine broke this morning and I’m trying to heat up my dinner.”

 “Yeah, c’mon in,” you nodded, opening the door a little wider for him to step in. Dean stepped in with a smile.

It wasn’t the first time Dean had been in your apartment and it definitely wouldn’t be the last. You had been neighbors for a little over a year. Eight months ago, he and his long time girlfriend Cassie broke up and he was a mess. You invited him to come over to distract him, and he ended up staying an entire weekend. You binge watched Friends and ate about a gallon of ice cream. That was when the two of you became really good friends.

 Dean was in your apartment at least three times a week, depending on his week that is. Dean was a mechanic at a local garage that he and his dad owned with a few other guys. Most nights he finished around six and dropped by with some food for dinner. Other nights, he was working his other job. He and his younger brother Sam, owned a bar in town called Jefferson’s Starship. Dean named it of course.

 He was a good guy. You got that vibe off of him instantly the day you met him. He helped you carry a few boxes into your apartment, which you needed. When you saw him upset that day he and his girlfriend broke up, you couldn’t stand it. He was a really good friend to you. One of the best actually. You weren’t the best when it came to guys, or friends for that matter. But Dean? Dean was special. There was no one that got you or your sense of humor like he did.

 “I take it Doofy was over,” he teased, nodding once more to your outfit as he opened your microwave door.

 “You really like calling him Doofy, huh?” you shook your head as you made your way over to the stool by the kitchen counter. “Yes, he was over.”

 “I heard,” he smirked. “Well, him anyways.”

 “Dean!” you raised your voice, shaking your head once more, trying to hide your smile.

 “We share a wall, sweetheart. Your bedroom, my kitchen. Walls are thin,” he wiggled his eyebrows as he placed his hands on the counter in front of you. “So, let me guess this time. He came and left?”

 “He came, asked if I did, then I asked him to leave,” you corrected him.

 “Ouch,” he said sheepishly. “High and dry. That explains the robe and the wet hair.”

 “How hard is it to pleasure a woman?” you called out. “I genuinely want to know. I haven’t found a single guy who knows the difference between my clit and my vagina, Dean! How hard is it?”

 “Pretty hard if he doesn’t know the difference between buttons,” he let out a laugh.

 “I’m just going to order a new toy off amazon at this rate. It’d get the job done,” you shrugged, feeling defeated.

 “Can I watch?” he joked, opening the microwave door to stir his food. “Oh by the way. I wanted to ask you something which may or may not have been the real reason why I’m here. My microwave isn’t actually broken.”

 “And here I thought you were here to comment on my sex life,” you breathed out, adjusting your robe a little more. “I’m all ears.”

 “So my mom is having a birthday party this year, and they still think I have a girlfriend and invited us. I was kind of, sort of, maybe hoping you’d go with me to keep my family off my back for that anyways,” he said lowly, swirling around his food before shoving it back in for another two minutes.

 “Me?” you raised your eyebrows. “Of all people, me?”

 “You’re the only one I know that I can be myself around. I don’t have to force myself to get along with some random girl in front of my family. You’re one of my closest friends,” he pointed out. “You just have to pretend to be my girlfriend for the night. I swear I’ll repay you.”

 “Will you though?” you side-eyed him playfully. “Look Dean, you really don’t have to. We’re friends and I’m happy to do it.”

 “Really?” he beamed.

 “Yeah, I’ll do it,” you smiled politely. “I’ve met your brother a few times so I’m sure I’ll be fine.”

 “I owe you big time, Y/N. You have no idea how much you are saving my ass by doing this,” he breathed out as the microwave beeped at him again. “I have shown up to the last three birthday parties alone and I’m not going through the ‘oh Dean, when are you finally going to settle down’ comment from my cousins, and aunts. Granted I was still dating Cassie last year, but she was away on some journalism trip. Not that they ever showed interest in meeting her. I’d just rather not deal with that again. I’m tired of the comments.”

 “I would say I know the feeling, but I don’t. I’ve been on my own since I was pretty young. I didn’t get along with my mom and it was just the two of us.”  you shared. “You’re making me feel pretty thankful I’m on my own.”

 “Really?” he cocked his eyebrow. “I always thought you got along with your mom?”

 “No. Not even close,” you scoffed.

 “Well, it’s you and me now, girlfriend,” he winked. “I’m serious about repaying you though. You’ll see why when you meet my family. Sammy is the only normal one.”

 “Name your offer, Winchester,” you said, crossing your arms over your body.

 “Uh, let’s see,” he raised his eyebrow, looking up to the left. “I’ll let you drive baby?”

 “Really?” you rolled your eyes. “That buys you handholding and that’s about it.”

 “Oh we’re playing this game now?” he chuckled, opening up your drawer to grab a fork for his dinner before taking a seat at the counter next to you. “Fine. How about - oh - how about I show you that not all guys are clueless when it comes to sex?” he said with a smirk.

 “And how are you going to do that?” you cocked your eyebrow.

 “How do you think, sweetheart?” he wiggled his eyebrows before taking a bite out of his food.

 “You? You’re going to have sex with me?” you asked in confusion.

 “Why not right? I mean, you’re gonna have to kiss me in front of my family. Not that you haven’t dreamed about kissing me,” he pointed out. “And besides, I know the difference between your clit and your pussy, how to pleasure you, and I’m not going to stick it in the wrong hole unless you ask me to.”

 “You said you were never going to bring that up,” you let out a dry laugh.

 “What kind of a friend would I be if I didn’t?” he grinned. “I’m serious though. I’ll show you a damn good time, and treat you right. We don’t have to do anything you aren’t comfortable with, of course. But I won’t leave the room until I know you’ve enjoyed yourself.”

 “Dean, are you sure?” you questioned. “I mean, we’ve gotten really personal with each other but this is different. I don’t want to cross any lines here. I’m not putting our friendship at risk here.”

 “I know, but I think we’re both mature enough to handle this. Nothing will ruin our friendship, ” he stated. “‘Sides, you have to know by now that I think you’re hot, and I’d nail you in a second given the chance. Call it practice for my mom’s party.”

 “So if I untie this robe and drop it to the floor, you’d be cool with that?” you played, trying to gage his reaction as you stood up, stepping away from him. His eyes went dark as he froze, watching your every move.

 “More than cool with that,” he muttered.

 You reached for the tie, pulling it loose before opening up your robe. You could feel a lump forming in your throat. No going back now. Dean thought you were hot, you reminded yourself. You let the material fall over your shoulders, and drop to the floor around your feet. Dean swallowed hard, not daring to tear his eyes away from you.

 “Son of a -” he breathed out.  

 “I’ll be in the bedroom when you’re done,” you teased,

 “Oh I’m done,” he stated, getting up from the stool. “Fuck, you’re gorgeous.”

 “Yeah?” you cocked your head to the side, pulling your bottom lip between your teeth. Your voice was confident, but inside, you were dying to cover up and hide away forever. You weren’t gorgeous, or sexy. You weren’t the kind of girl a guy like him fawned over. You found guys like doofy. It was almost like you needed confirmation that he thought you were attractive.

 “Oh god, yeah,” he licked his lips. “Can - can I touch you?”

 “Yes,” you nodded. Your eyes locked with his breathtaking green orbs as he stepped closer. You were expecting his hands to either reach for your breast or your ass. You knew he was going to touch you. He asked and it was to be expected.

 He reached for your hips before slipping his arms around your waist, resting them on the small of your back. That was completely unexpected to say the least. His eyes were dark and filled with desire, but there wasn’t the typical I can’t wait to shove my dick inside you, lust that everyone else had. You were standing completely naked in front of him and he couldn’t take his eyes off your face. It was different and you liked that.

 “Seriously, you are fucking gorgeous,” he muttered, leaning in closer to you. You felt his breath mingling with yours. Was he going to kiss you? One of his hands reached up to your cheek, his index finger brushing the wet strand of hair away from your face before cupping your cheek in his palm. You melted against his touch, just a little as you glanced up into those breathtaking green eyes of his. He inched closer, pressing his lips to yours in a soft, hesitant kiss that made your heart flutter in your chest. He was gentle, which is the opposite of what you were expecting from him of all people. If anything, he was making you feel more comfortable. You kissed him back with the same hesitancy he had. You slipped your hands around his back, tugging him closer to you out of instinct.

 “Mhh, we should probably move this into the bedroom,” you muttered against his lips.

 “You got it, sweetheart,” he smirked. His calloused hands slipped down the curve of your ass, reaching the back of your thighs. He lifted you off the ground with ease, earning a tiny yelp from your lips. You giggled as he carried you into your bedroom, kicking the door closed with his foot. He placed you carefully on the messy bed, letting you adjust yourself so you were comfortable while he stood tall.

 “You’re wearing far too much clothing, Dean,” you smiled up at him. He cast his head down with a smile playing on his plump lips. “Off with the shirt and show me what you’re working with.”

 He took the hem of his henley, tugging it over his head to reveal his upper body. God, he was a fucking sight. You had never seen him shirtless before this. You thought he was hot before this, but you had no idea just how hot he was until he shed some layers. He wasn’t completely toned. He was soft in some places and that only made you want him more. You wanted to trace your tongue over every inch of him.

 “Damn, you’re hot,” you commented as you pulled your bottom lip between your teeth. He didn’t say anything to you. In fact, he looked a little nervous about it. You didn’t want to make a comment about it because this was a hook up and he wasn’t your boyfriend. You were going to let it slide this time and bring it up the next time you had a movie night or something. “Take it all off, baby.”

 “You’re such a dork,” he let out a laugh. You watched as he unbuckled his jeans and shoved them and his boxers down his legs, revealing himself to you for the first time.

 And oh my fucking god, he was perfect.

 He has the nicest looking dick you had ever seen on a man. Big, thick and he kept himself well taken care of down there in terms of grooming. You were actually looking forward to this one. Not just for how hot he was. Dean was a good person, and not to mention a man of his word. You were looking forward to seeing what he had to offer you in terms of owing you one.

 “Dean, you’re-“ you paused. “Fuck.”

 “Like what you see?” He smirked, wiggling his eyebrows.

 “Eh,” you giggled. “I’m not on the pill, just so you know. I do have condoms in my drawer though.”

 “Good to know,” he nodded. “Listen, don’t be afraid to tell me what you like and don’t like. By all means, tell me what to do and I’ll listen the best I can. I just want to make you feel good.”

 “The very same goes for you too,” you told him. “I wanna be able to make you come too.”

 “Trust me sweetheart, you are going to have no problems with that,” he assured you. “Now, are you sure you want to do this? I’m not going to force you to do something you don’t want to do.”

 “I’m sure I want to do this,” you confirmed. You smiled at his words. It was nice of him to ask you. He wasn’t forcing you by any means, or making you feel like you had to do this. It was actually really nice of him the more you thought about it.

 He carefully climbed on your bed from the bottom. Your eyes never left his body as he moved up the bed. His muscles flexed as he fit himself between your legs. His body hovered over yours, his cock pressing against your inner thigh. He captured his lips with yours almost unexpectedly, pulling your bottom lip between his, sucking down softly.  Your hands traveled down the length of his back. You could feel the arousal pooling in your core. A delicious ache you couldn’t wait to satisfy.

 His hand traced up your torso, his thumb brushing underneath your breast as his lips moved along your jaw, making their way to your neck. You let out a sigh, melting into the mattress beneath you. Your hands slipped into his hair as he kissed his way down to your breasts.

 “F - Dean,” you breathed out. His lips latched around your nipple, his warm tongue flicking over your hardening bud. His touch gave you goosebumps and part of you thought that it was because you hadn’t been touched this extensively in a long time. He was fucking woreshipping you compared to the rest of them. Dean knew exactly where to touch you without a hint of guidance. He ignited something in you that no one had before. Maybe you were going to get an orgasm out of this after all.

 “Feels good, don’t it?” he cooed, kissing along your abdomen as his hands soothed down your sides, filling your stomach with anticipation of what was to come.

 “Damn good,” you panted. Your heart rate was speeding up, and he had barely even done anything to you yet.

 He climbed off of you, taking a spot at the end of your bed. His hand gripped your waist, dragging you to the edge of the bed where he could begin the first real act of the night. He took his time and that was something you enjoyed about him. There was no rush like there usually was for you. His hand trailed along your inner thigh, tickling you in the best way, causing your core to clench around nothing. His soft, wet lips kissed along the opposite side of his hand and that drove you insane. You desperately wanted to feel him directly between your legs.

 “Dean, I swear to god if you don’t -”

 “Don’t what?” he chuckled. “Don’t rush a professional.”

 “Where’s the professional?” you giggled, earning a bitch face from him. “I’m kidding!”

 “Just sit back and enjoy the ride, sweetheart,” he winked, growing closer to where you needed him. He settled directly between your legs with a smirk playing on his lips. He pushed your legs open a little wider. The anticipation was killing you and he fucking knew it too.

 He inched forward, flattening his tongue against your folds, licking a long slow strip upwards, stopping just before your clit. God, did it feel good. His tongue was warm and wetter somehow. The initial touch sending a wave a pleasure through you. You threw your head back against the mattress, your fist grasping at the comforter. You wanted him to do it over and over again.

 “Fuck,” you whimpered.

 “Feel good?”

 “Yeah,” you nodded, staring up at the ceiling, awaiting his next move. You released the comforter, allowing yourself to relax. Dean did the exact same thing, this time going even slower and reaching your clit, causing you to jerk just a little. He kept up with that for another couple of strokes, and you could feel yourself growing more and more slick as he did.

 He pressed a kiss to your clit as his finger circled around your entrance. Your eyes clamped shut the second his tongue flicked swiftly over your little bundle of nerves. Your hips bucked upwards, needing more and more of his touch. You could feel him smirking against you. He knew exactly what he was doing.

 He pushed a digit inside of you and you let out a breathy moan. He curled his finger as his lips enclosed around your clit, sucking just enough to drive you insane. You arched your back, needing more of him.

 “De-Dean,” you groaned. “To the left.”

 “Your left or mine?”

 “Mine,” you panted. His tongue flickered over your clit to the left in a repetitive, but unpredictable motion that had your toes curling. Your hand reached for his head, your fingers fisting his hair tugging him in the right direction as he sucked down on you.

 You could feel that familiar burn pooling in your lower abdomen. You knew it was mere moments before Dean worked you into your first orgasm the night. He removed his finger from your center and moved both his hands underneath your ass, his fingers digging into your flesh as his tongue worked it’s magic.

 “Fuck Dean, I’m gonna - I’m -” you could barely even get the words out before warm pleasure pulsated through you. You twitched against him, your fingers pulling at his hair to try to keep him in place, and he never let up. He worked your through it, making it last as long as he possibly could.

 He pulled away and you felt lifeless. You had no idea how to even move, let alone breathe. Dean wasn’t lying when he said he knew what he was doing. You tried to focus on breathing. In through your nose, out through your mouth.

 “Y/N, you alive?” he asked you.

 “I- I think,” you answered, your voice high pitched as your eyes opened, meeting his gorgeous green orbs. “Barely but alive. Just give me a minute after that one. Fuck!”

 “Told you I’m good,” he winked playfully.

 “Oh shut up!” you let out a laugh, rolling onto your side, pressing your lips to his, tasting yourself on his tongue. His hand instinctively reached up to your hip, drawing you into him as he kissed you. God, did this man know how to kiss. He had your toes curling at the thought of continuing like this. But you knew he had other plans for the night, and quite frankly, so did you. “Your turn now, Dean.”

 “You definitely don’t have to do that, Y/N,” he shook his head.

 “I know. I want to. It’s only fair to for one, and two, I really want to taste you,” you played. “You want to move up the bed a little more?”

 “Yeah,” he nodded. You managed to sit up, allowing Dean to lay in the middle of your bed. His hard cock rested against his stomach, and honestly, you couldn’t wait to taste him. You couldn’t wait to feel him on your tongue. Dean positioned himself so he was comfortable, and you gravitated between his legs. It was going to be easier for you to take him this way. You knew there was no way you were going to fit all of him in your mouth, but you were going to try your very best to pleasure him the same way he did you.

 You took his velvety length in your hand, your mouth watering at the sight of him. Dean’s eyes were on you, and somehow, that didn’t make you nervous. You stuck your tongue out, licking the tip of his cock, instantly tasting the salty, almost sweet, precome that pooled at the slit. Dean hissed at the contact and you knew you did something right.

 You moved down to his balls, flattening out your tongue before moving carefully along each one. Then you traced a line up his length, reaching the top, taking the entire head in your mouth. Your eyes flicked up, looking at Dean’s face directly and you could see that he was enjoying what you were doing so far. You sucked down lightly, spit collecting in your mouth as you did so. You released him, using your saliva as lube to slick up his cock, making it easier to pleasure him without worrying about hurting him.

 You took him in your heat, sinking down a little lower this time while your hand jerked off what you couldn’t fit in your mouth. You could feel each ridge and vain along your tongue, and damn did he taste good. A taste you wouldn’t mind having more than once if it were up to you.

 “Fucking hell, Y/N,” he growled. His hands made their way into your hair, half holding it back, half kind of tugging. You circled around the tip, running swiftly into the slit before teasing over his frenulum. He let out a loud groan, trying his hardest not to buck his hips up.

 “Y/N-” he cried out as you took him deeper, the tip hitting near the back of your throat as your hand jerked him faster. You sucked down, causing him to moan once more.

 “Y/N - fuck, you gotta stop,” he urged you. You pulled off of him with a pop, wiping your lips with the back of your hand. He was panting, his chest heaving. You smiled, knowing you did a good job.

 Dean rolled off to the side, opening up the drawer of your bedside table, grabbing one of the condoms out of the box of twelve. As nervous as you were before, you weren’t now. Not even close. If anything, you were excited to be doing this with Dean. No pressure or unrealistic expectations. He cared whether or not you were enjoying yourself, and you were. But most of all, you were comfortable with Dean. Maybe it was for all of those reasons, or the fact that you had never trusted someone the same way you did your best friend. He wasn’t some random guy you met in a bar or a diner.

 “You sure you want to do this?” he questioned once more, playing with the condom between his index finger and his thumb. “We don’t have to. I can just pay you back some other way if you don’t want to.”

 “Yeah. I want to,” you nodded. “Do you want to?”

 “Yeah,” he said softly, ripping the condom package open. He took the condom out, rolling it down properly over his hard length. You lay down on the bed, opening up your arms for him to climb on top of you. He spread your legs a little wider as he positioned himself between them. You couldn’t wait to feel that stretch when he pushed into you.

 He took his thick cock in his hand, running it swiftly through your folds. You instinctively moved your legs further apart, your eyes meeting his, waiting for him to move. You nodded your head, reassuring him that he could proceed. He smiled softly. The tip of his cock lined up with your entrance. Your hands traced up his arms, settling on his shoulders. He pushed himself gingerly inside of you, stretching your walls more than you expected as they accommodated his length. You took a sharp intake of breath, your eyes shutting as your head pressed to the pillow beneath it.

 Dean positioned his hands on either side of your body. His lips met yours as he bottomed out inside you. His kiss putting you at ease. You wrapped your arms securely around his shoulders and bent your knees to give him more room to begin moving. He felt fucking perfect inside.

 “You good?” he breathed out, trailing his lips along your jaw.

 “Yeah,” you swallowed. “‘M good.”

 He drew his hips back before moving back in at the very same pace. You felt your walls fluttering at the new sensation of him. He felt fucking amazing when he moved. His length hit all the spots you needed him to, and all the spots you didn’t know you needed touched until now. His muscles tensed just a little when he moved, and his lips never left your skin, only added to the overwhelming satisfaction he was already giving you.

 “You have no fucking idea how good you feel around me,” he growled into your neck.

 “If it’s anywhere near how good you feel inside me then I think I know,” you groaned, your hand shifting into his hair, keeping him at the sensitive spot on your neck that drove you crazy. “Keep kissing there.”

 “Curl your fingers in my hair again,” he asked lowly, his hips pushing back into yours.

 His thrusts picked up the pace. You rolled your hips against his in tune with his and that familiar burn made itself known. Your breathing was getting shallower, and a thin layer of sweat coated your skin, especially in the places Dean’s skin was touching yours. The heat from him, along with the incredible aura you were creating together; it was bound to get a little hot.

 Dean was panting against your skin, and he had to adjust himself, leaving your neck. He held himself up on his hands once more, his chest abandoning yours. His eyes traveled up and down your body, drinking you in as his cock quivered inside you. You didn’t want this to come to an end. He made you feel so fucking high; like every other emotion didn’t exist. It was just pure euphoria.

 You readjusted yourself, hooking your ankles around his ass, giving him a different angle. He pushed into you and hit your g-spot dead on, you almost came right then. That coil in your stomach was growing tighter and tighter as he moved. You could feel every dip and ridge of his cock. Your mouth was growing dry as you struggled to breathe.

 “Dean, I’m so close,” you straggled out.

 “Good,” he panted. “Me too. What do you need?”

 “Faster!”

 He picked up his pace, pounding into you. You let out a loud moan and suddenly you were thankful it was only Dean’s apartment next to yours and no one else was next to you. Dean pecked your lips once more, and you could see the drips of sweat beading on his forehead and the top of his freckled dusted nose. His green eyes were damn near black, hooded with lust and pleasure that you had never seen before. You wanted to make him come. You wanted to hear him.

 He hit your sweet spot once more, throwing you over the edge. You arched into him as your fingers dug into the flesh of his back. He collapsed on top of you, and you buried your head in his neck, muffling your cry just a little. Pure ecstasy flowed through you, causing you to shake beneath him. Your walls clamped down around him so tightly, you were afraid he wouldn’t be able to move.

 “Fuck - Y/N, mhh,” he groaned, slamming his hips into yours as he spilled himself into the condom. He twitched, moving just a little as the waves of his orgasm worked through him. You were shaking, but at the same time, you felt completely lifeless. Like he had fucked every ounce of energy out of you, and in a way, he had.

 He pulled out of you slowly, holding the base of his cock where the condom was. You pointed to the tissues on the nightstand for him to use. He quickly discarded the condom into the trash bin next to your bed before he settled down next to you.

 “Fuck,” he breathed out. “That was better than I imagined it would be.”

 “You imagined it?” you let out a chuckle.

 “Of course I have. Have you seen yourself?” he let out a laugh. “In all honesty though, it was some good sex.”

 “It was,” you agreed, adjusting your head on your pillow as you glanced up at the ceiling.

 “Did you come?” he laughed.

 “Shut up, asshole,” you shook your head.

 “Oh I know you did,” he teased. “More than once. I’m just that good.”

 “Yeah yeah,” you licked your bottom lip. “You held up your end pretty damn good if I do say so myself.”

 “I’m glad,” he smirked. “I don’t think we’ll have any problems convincing my parents we’re together.”

 “Me either,” you breathed out.

 He rolled off the bed, reaching for his boxers on the floor at the end of the bed. You couldn’t keep your eyes off of him as he tucked himself back in his boxers. You weren’t expecting him to stay in the slightest. It was a good time and it would’ve been awkward if he did.

 “So where and when for your mom’s party?” you asked, moving the pillow to cover yourself up a little.

 “Saturday night,” he said, pulling on his jeans. “I’ll pick you up at seven. It’s kind of fancy so you’ll have to wear a dress. I’m wearing a black suit if that helps you at all.”

 “I have a classy black dress that should work,” you nodded.

 “Perfect,” he nodded. “I am really thankful you’re helping me out. I don’t mean to fuck you and run, but I’ve kind of gotta get to the bar.”

 “It’s okay,” you assured him. “Not like we’re together, bestie.”

 “I know, but I like to treat my women better than that when we do something like this,” he frowned.

 “I’m your best friend and I know where you live. Trust me, it’s cool. I’m not really one for cuddling after sex and talking about feelings anyways,” you shrugged. “Thanks for making me come, not once, but twice. You treated me better than any guy. Now get out of my apartment and go to work.”

 “Yes ma’am,” he chuckled. “You could always come with?”

 “Nah,” you shook your head. “I’ve got plans with my one true love, Netflix.”

 “Sorry I’m getting in the way of that,” he let out a laugh. “I’ll see you later.”

 “That you will, Dean,” you winked. “Thank you for this. You do know how to satisfy a woman.”

 “You’re damn right I do.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Part 2 coming Sunday!

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[solara-bean]

Screw Periods!!!

Grimmjow x Reader

( Reader has a uterus but their gender is of course up to you. )

You laid on your couch as still as a corpse. In fact you felt close to death thanks to your vagina having it's monthly tantrum. God did the cramps hurt like hell! And it must've been your lucky day since your heating pad broke and the painkillers were taking forever to kick in. At least it was a Saturday so work wasn't a problem.

Wait ... it's Saturday?!! You thought.

Right then a flood of spiritual pressure invaded your senses. In came the former epsada from your apartment's balcony. Although he was obviously angry he took care not to break the sliding door. Or anything for that matter. He knew better.

When it came to you at least.

You didn't bother to peak out from your comfy blanket burrito as he stalked up to the couch like the overgrown cat he was.

" You missed our sparring match. " He said in a low tone. There was no doubt a scowl on his face.

Despite how normal you may appear, you’re actually quite powerful. In the past, you’ve been able to take on all types of foes along with Ichigo and the rest of the gang. Although, you were a bit late to the party and weren’t able to get much experience before everything died down to a more peaceful state. Thankfully Grimmjow was more than willing to battle a worthy opponent since Ichigo was too busy with his education and trying to have a more normal life. Thus began your weekly sparring sessions, normally in Hueco Mundo or Urahara’s bunker. But today you were only willing to move as far as your bedroom to the living room and occasionally the bathroom. 

" I know. Sorry. " You grumbled. " Forgot what day it was."

" Tch. Since when do you forget what day it is? You sick or something?...Wait," his voice got closer to you. " Did someone hurt you?" He said with a mix of worry and deadly intent.

" No."

" Tell me who it is and I'll kill em."

" No! Grimm I'm fine."

" Hm. Then why," he tugged the blanket away from your face and raised a single brow. " Do you look like shit?"

You glared at him as best you could.

“ If you must know. I’m on my period.” You tugged the blanket back up. “ Now leave so I can suffer in peace. We’ll fight next week.”

Things were quiet for awhile. For second you thought he had left. Then..

“ Whats a period?”

Your eyes went wide under cover. You peaked out at him with an unbelieving eye. 

“ You know. Mensural cycles?”

His face scrunched.

“ Mental what?”

You looked at him fully.

“ You really don’t know what periods are???”

“ Yeah. I mean. Maybe? I don't know! It sounds kinda familiar.”

Hmm. You thought. If Grimm died at the age that he looks now then he definitely knows what periods are. Maybe he doesn’t fully remember.

“ I guess hollows can’t have them since you don’t reproduce.”

“ Huh?” more confusion showed on his face. “ What does that have to do with anything?! Are you...Are you having a kid?!!!”

Watching him panic over a mini-you running around would’ve been hilarious any other day. But today you just wanted to nap. So if he was ever going to leave you be he needed to know what was going on

“ Hand me my laptop.” You sat up with an audible groan. “ And no. I’m not pregnant.” 

It took a little over an hour to show him articles and YouTube videos about the wonders mensural cycles, plus answering questions about how yours worked specifically and a little chat on the birds and the bees. He got a bit upset with you feeling the need to explain the last one but you were playing it safe.

“ So you’re going through all this pain and gross stuff. Just because you have feminine parts, you’re not pregnant and you’re not fifty or older?” He said slowly from his seat on the carpet in front of the coffee table that held your laptop. 

“ Yeah pretty much.”

“ And this is every month?”

“ Yeah.”

“ For a week?”

“ Yep.”

“....That’s shitty.”

“ Uh huh.”

“ Like. Seriously whose fucking bright idea was this?!”

“ No clue. But they better stay out of my line of sight.”

“ Tch,” he scoffed and folded his arms. “ Well whoever it is deprived me of a good fight.”

You scowled at him.

“ Oh you poor thing. It must suck to have male anatomy privilege. How about you whine about it somewhere else while I attempt to get some sleep.” You rolled over in a huff. “ And for the record. I’ve fought you plenty of times on my period and won. It’s just being a bitch today.” 

You were in silence once again. Maybe now sleep would come. But no. The pain still came back every minute like a clawed hand slowly squeezing your guts over and over. Then all of a sudden warmth formed on your lower stomach. 

“ Hm?”

You looked down to see Grimmjow’s hand on you. It had a slight red glow indicating that he was using his cero. Though it was much more like comforting heat than a scolding laser beam. 

“ I didn’t know it could do that..”

“ It helps with sore joints and stuff. Is it numbing the pain at all?”

You rolled over. He had a soft look in his eyes. He was worried.  

Big softie kitty.

You smiled and pressed his palm closer to where it hurt the most.

“ Yeah..” you sighed. “ Feels a lot better.”

After a few minutes of slight dozing off, you felt him pick you up gently. Before you could ask he was already under you and laying you on top of him. He reached under the cover and past the hem of your shirt so you could feel both of his cero-warmed hands. You couldn’t but sigh in delight from the relief and nuzzle into the chest that was exposed from his black jumpsuit.

This might’ve been odd if you two hadn’t been getting closer lately. To no one’s surprise the feral arrancar was extremely touch starved. But with your sparring came respect. And with respect came the showing of vulnerability. After many long months of course. Eventually touching and being close to each other was second nature. Cuddling was new though. But he was basically a big cat so you knew it was bound to happen. 

As you fell asleep you heard the start of a purr. You didn’t know how long you were asleep but when you woke up he was gone. 

Guess he got bored and left. 

Your were about to feel sad and little lonely when a patch of blue hair poked itself through the balcony door. In came Grimmjow with a hand full of snacks. He made his way to you and plopped them all on the table.

“Ok I couldn’t go to a normal store for obvious reason so I went to Urahara’s.” he began to pick up each item one buy one. “ I got those sour gummies you like, some sodas, some water, a few cases of chocolate bars, a pack of caramel, the last of the good chips which I had to kick Jinta to get - the little bastard. And Urruru lended me some pads but I’m nut sure if they’re the kind you us-”

Before he could finish you wrapped your arms around his neck and hugged him tightly.

“ You’re the best! Thank you so much!”

He was taken aback for a moment then hugged you back with a smug smirk on his face.

“ Hey you wanna stay and watch a movie with me? I can’t eat all this by myself.”

“ Sure.” he shrugged nonchalantly. Though you could see a small smile on his face.

You sat snuggled up and watched an action comedy as you ate. You were half way through the movie when something hit you.

“ How’d you pay for all of this?”

Grimmjow chewed lazily a blueberry sour gummie, not bothering to take his eyes off the screen. 

“ I told Urahara that your vagina was trying to kill you. So he let me take it for free. Never saw him that quiet before.” 

“..........Yeah I’m definitely kicking your ass next week.”

“ I’d hope so.” he grinned.

[miss-kittys-magical-library]

Teenage Dirtbag

(Cormac x Jeanie)

Warnings: fluff and smut

A/N: Cormac feels bittersweet about his abnormal teenage years, but a tryst at the abandoned O'Keefe's College with Jeanie changes his mind about what never was.

The last of my birthday weekend self-indulgent drabbles. I dug deep and pulled Cormac back to the front of the closet to wear just for today.

Jeanie inhaled the scent of moss and rain that filled the air around the abandoned boarding school. If it weren't for Cormac, Hannah and Brett this was surely how her own building would end up in a few years. She didn't mind the dynamic it created between her and her boyfriend, or that the purchase was for some ulterior scientific motive. She got to keep the kids and her job, and he got to maintain one of the last untapped portals.

Now they were in Galway where everything started. Or, as Jeanie pointed out once she knew the stories, Cormac’s friends gaslit him for an entire semester.

“That's how comic book villains are born,” she watched as he turned on the power grid and fumbled around with his necklace.

“I suppose,” his catch phrase, “But even Tony Stark created a murder robot. He scrunched his nose and scratched his head in the most adorable way. Then something clicked.

“Tony Stark is a murder robot.”

A calming female voice responded before Cormac had the chance. “Tony Stark is more closely related to a cyborg than a robot. Good morning, Cormac. Jeanie.”

“See how she uses disdain when she speaks to me?! Jarvis doesn't speak like that.”

“Silvia doesn't have disdain for you. She's a computer program.”

Jeanie and Silvia spoke collectively, “I'm an artificial intelligence system.” The schoolteacher pointed at nothing as if to say even they can agree on her being beyond just a program.

“I'm also not female or male, I am a sexless non-binary system. You decided to gender me when you were fourteen years old based on the voice modulation you placed inside of me. I have no body or sexual organs.”

“You just got out Cormac’d!” Jeanie teased as his cheeks grew rosy.

“Come on, I'll show you around.”

----

The next few hours were like visiting a museum of Cormac’s memories. He admitted that he had the ability to go to university much earlier than most anticipated, but he hung around because he actually enjoyed the small group of friends he accumulated his years at O’Keefe’s. Even if his relationship with Martin, the resident Draco Malfoy, was contentious. Even if they were understaffed, underfunded and simply unable to accommodate any real science program. He felt a sense of duty to the school that kept him safe when his Nan could not.

“I could have gone with my mum’s side in Dublin if I wanted. My aunt was just worried what I might just get up to if I did.”

“What, like a criminal?” Jeanie burst into a fit of giggles picturing Cormac in a life of crime. Although.. “That's the Delaneys, right?” Jeanie pondered. “Gordon and I knew some Dublin Delaneys.”

“That's like knowing a Smith.”

They had circled back around to his old dorm room where they had dropped off all their gear for China. Jeanie lingered on the old desk having perched on the corner. Her arms hugged around herself against the draft. Cormac sat comfortably on his old bed stretched out with his arms towards the wall behind him. An aged and browning poster of a full moon above his head.

Jeanie grimaced at the water stains underneath him and tried to hide her disgust. “At least I hope those are water stains,” she joked.

Cormac moved his knees apart and stared down at the bed, “Jaysus, love, what kinda stains d’ye t’ink t’ey are?!”

Jeanie raised an eyebrow. Cormac’s eyes nearly rolled back in his head. “If you need t’know, I was a shower wanker.”

He was so matter of fact, like he was about everything, Jeanie snorted. Still he made a big production of unpacking his massive sleeping bag and rolling it out along the mattress. He smoothed out the nylon, and presented it to his girlfriend for her to sit down finally.

As Jeanie settled in, Cormac stuffed his hands between his legs and his face flushed. “Do you have a boner right now?! Wait, because I'm on it bed? Is this some.. Puberty regression? AM I THE FIRST GIRL WHO SAT HERE?!” Jeanie couldn't help but squeal.

“NO! Hannah and Tara have sat here loads of times.”

“Yeah, but have you touched their vaginas?”

“JEANIE!”

“CORMAC!”

Jeanie played along and stole a kiss. Her lips pecked his briskly, but then again. They lingered longer so her tongue could sneak just inside his welcoming mouth. She may as well have waged war.

Cormac pushed his own tongue deep inside of his girlfriend’s mouth. As their tongues battled for the upper hand, Jeanie clung to his shirt and laid back on the bed pulling him along with her. She ran her hands under his tee-shirt up his back to dig her nails into his shoulder blades. His forearms on either side of her to prop himself up.

Cormac situated himself inside of Jeanie's legs that drew up alongside his hips. Still fully clothed as they kissed heavily. His belt buckle got trapped by the button of her jeans as they fought to come undressed. Both laughed at the absurdity of acting like horny teenagers simply because they were in a childhood bedroom.

Still, Cormac finally undid Jeanie's pants and tugged them over her hips to her ankles. He was clumsy at the laces of her boots which he gave up on and just yanked off and tossed somewhere in the room. Up on his knees, he threw both shirts he wore over his head. He fumbled with his belt and pants, standing only to strip them off before climbing back on top of Jeanie now in her bra and panties.

The cold air pimpled their flesh, but they ignored it when their kisses commenced. Jeanie’s hands were enmeshed in Cormac’s soft, dark hair. His lips and tongue started to wander to the base of her throat which he nipped and sucked where he could feel her pulse beat under his warm mouth. A brief moment she thought he would bite harder for fun; then he did. All the while he palmed the fabric of her panties in quick succession.

Jeanie’s breath caught at how brazen Cormac was being in broad daylight. Out in the open on top of the sleeping bag instead of in it. The static from portaling that ran through his nerves just under the skin passed on to her. Her brain was too fuzzy with desire to tell if the heat on her sex and clit was from the rapid friction or just the electricity Cormac emitted.

Jeanie couldn't even focus beyond the sensation. Her fingers and hands with a mind of their own drew his boxers down to expose his bare ass to her touch. She used it to draw his no longer secret erection into her entrance. Cormac’s hand and her panties in the way. He happily let her go so he could start pushing into the fabric with the head of his cock. Her ankles locked on his waist so her heels could dig into his lower back. They urged him to rut faster in spite of their underwear.

As klutzy as Cormac was with her jeans and boots, his long fingers were experts at undoing Jeanie’s bra. He kissed her shoulders and arms behind the straps he pulled off to expose her breasts. Breasts his mouth consumed hungrily. His tongue circled and practically inhaled one of her nipples before alternating to the other. He sucked in time to his bucks.

Jeanie deigned to speak, her words punctuated by Cormac’s movements. “I'm.. really..” she moaned “Cold.”

She was, he realized all of a sudden. With more laughter and flourishes, the two managed to zip themselves snug inside the sleeping bag. Jeanie's panties and Cormac’s underwear discarded in the process. Their bodies pressed to each other while his cock pushed into her thigh. The heat was immediate, in more ways than one.

They laid on their sides and faced one another. Cormac’s leg tangled around Jeanie's lower one. Her leg closest to the ceiling wrapped around his hip. Her calf draped along his ass while her hand reached between their bodies and took hold of his shaft. She positioned it just outside her entrance that ached to be filled. All the blood in her body swelled there.

Cormac gazed downwards at her hand, his breathing uncontrolled as Jeanie guided him again inside. Without any more instruction, he thrust inside of her so far and sharply that his pelvis collided with hers. Then he pulled almost completely out and sheathed himself to the hilt again. He repeated this over and over until they found a rhythm. Hips and sexes crashed like meteors with each powered motion.

Jeanie could only hold on. Her nails felt inches deep in Cormac's muscles along his shoulders. she had fleeting thoughts that yesterday wasn't his first time. That he lied perhaps out of embarrassment thinking he was no good.

Except he was, she was out of practice. The last time she had sex this good was.. She didn't want to think of him now. He was gone, Cormac was here. His forehead pressed into her jaw and cheek as he pounded into her. It only just dawned on her his glasses were on, bent at an unnatural angle in the crook of her neck. He didn't like to travel with his contacts in.

At this angle, Cormac hit Jeanie's clit every time he lost himself in her tightening walls. He was silent except for snorts of heavy air like a horse that escaped his nose. Both of them covered in a sheen of sweat until that lightning shot through Jeanie’s body. She coiled and recoiled and drew her boyfriend to her as she came. Cormac’s name echoed off the empty walls.

Not much longer until he did the same with a shudder and a muddled, husky “fuck” in Jeanie's shoulder. Cormac's body trembled which took her aback. Whether it was from the post-orgasm rush, or emotions, she didn't ask. Instead they held onto one another and babbled mindlessly until they fell asleep in the sleeping bag.

It was loud thunder and SILVIA through the old PA system that startled the couple awake.

“Cormac. Jeanie. May I suggest you leave as soon as possible? There is an approaching electrical storm that will surely affect the magnetic field produced by portal travel.”

They rushed to get dressed and repacked. Cormac was annoyed, “If you knew. SILVIA, why the hell didn't you tell me before?”

“Coitus interruptus. Perhaps Ms Turner feels I dislike her, but I can't imagine how much animosity she would display towards me should I interfere with your sexual intercourse. She's already jealous of our long-standing relationship”

Jeanie felt highly uncomfortable at that moment, watched even. Cormac was incensed. “SILVIA.” Then he shut her off, and they were bound for China.

Tag: @robertsheehanownsmyass @elliethesuperfruitlover @super-unpredictable98 @forenschik @slutforrobbiebro @frogs--are--bitches @nightmonsters @bisexualnathanyoung @bwritesstuff @rob-private

[brown-bi-beautiful]

Give Me Some Sugar

Steve Rogers AU

Series Masterlist

Sugardaddy! Steve Rogers x Sugarbaby! Reader.

Summary: When young Y/n gets fired from one of her jobs she struggles to make enough money for college loans and Bills, that’s when she meets Steve. What Steve is looking for isn’t exactly a relationship, he just wants someone to look pretty in his arms and take care of his needs without asking many questions about his job.

Series Warnings: Salty reader, age gap, Sugardaddy and sugarbaby relationship and all the chaos that comes with it, SMUT (Obviously. Don’t try tell me you didn’t see that coming, Karen.), asshole people (Yup that’s a warning.),language more will be added later to the chapters.

Characters (as per the chapter): Y/n, Steve Rogers, Bucky motherfucker Barnes, Tony Stark.

Words: 3.4k

Chapter Warning: James Buchanan Barnes, I’m sorry but Tony Stark is a hugedick in this (I still love him though.), bad english (if you squint. Don’t blame me, english is my third language.), language, slight jealousy.

CHAPTER  SIX

You absolutely hated Steve Rogers at that moment, he has taken you to the spa that this hotel had and instead of staying with you he left you alone with these seven women who just can’t stop pointing out your flaws. 

“Her facial is gonna take some time she has blackheads.” You almost gasped as one of them said like you weren’t even in the room. You rolled your eyes, you for a fact know that you don’t have any blackheads, okay maybe some but they’re not even visible. 

But you have to say, it felt good. Seven women taking care of you as you munched on chocolate coated strawberries? You would have live like that every day if you could have. Huh, maybe you can forgive Steve after all. 

“Ma’am please lie down we have to wax your vagina.” You almost choked at her bluntness. You saw her smirking very discreetly and you knew she was just playing with you knowing that you’re new to all this.

“Is it necessary?” You asked.

“I’m afraid it comes with it comes with the full body treatment Mr. Rogers has paid us for.” She replied and you stood up and lie down on the very comfy massage table they had. 

After what felt like years and minutes at the same time but was only 5 hours you were escorted out of that spa. You felt really good, your whole body was smooth like a baby bottom, and you were glowing due to all those essential oils they used on you. They did your hair and makeup too. Your hair were shiny and bouncy and you never felt prettier.

When you got into the suite Steve was nowhere to be seen. There was a black garment bag on the bed and a big box beside it with a note on top which read ‘Wear the dress and shoe and be ready by 9, I’ll be here to pick you up.’ and under it was a smaller note which said ‘PS. You look beautiful in red’. Your cheek heat up at the comment and a big smile took over your face.

When you took out the dress from the bag your heart was filled with awe. It was the most beautiful thing you’ve ever laid eyes on, it was wine red in colour. Elegant yet sexy. You were gonna feel like a queen in it. You opened the box too, there sat a pair of black red bottom stiletto. Why is he spoiling you so much? 

You quickly took off the robe and bra which you obviously didn’t need and carefully put on the dress, you didn’t want to ruin the fine fabric. There was a slit on your left leg which stopped on your mid thigh but the hem was longer and pooled a little around your feet. The fabric felt awesome against your freshly waxed skin. You put on the heels as well, you were impatient by now.

When you looked at the mirror you swear your heart stopped. You looked so beautiful that you wanted to cry. The sweetheart neckline gave complement to your collarbone. You heard someone intaking a shar breath and you looked up in the mirror to see Steve leaning against the door frame wearing a shiny black tuxedo. He looked so handsome in that tux that you found your own breath getting caught in your throat for a second. 

You smirked a little when you saw the look on his face as he looked up and down your body. You were definitely satisfied by the reaction that you were getting out of him. He slowly walked up to you until his chest was pressed against your back.

“Wow.” He said putting his hands on your hips. “You look........ravishing.” He whispered in your ear.

“You don’t look too bad yourself, Mr. Rogers.” You replied smirking at him through the mirror.

“You’re making me second guess if we should even go or not.” He said leaning down and pressing his lips on your bare shoulder. You leaned back and a moan left your lips. You could feel him getting hard against you.

“Maybe we could just stay.” You suggested in a low voice. Honestly you didn’t really care for this party, you just wanted to spend time with him weather it was there or inside these four walls, you just wanted to be with him.

“Hmmm, as much as that thought entices me, we really need to go.” You held back your groan of disappointment. You didn’t want to seem too desperate in front of him. “But before that...I have something for you.” He said and you raised an eyebrow. But before you could form a sentence you felt a cold metal touch your bare skin of your collarbone. Your eyes widen when you saw the shiney diamond necklace. 

“Steve-” 

“Shhh.”

“I can’t-” Before you could protest too much he turned you around and pulled you closer; arm around your waist.

“Doll, you’re my date. I can soil you as much as I want too. You can’t stop me.” The way he said it made you shut up. There was authority in his voice, the same authority that makes you weak on your knees. You couldn’t help but nod. “Good. Wear these too.” He handed you a box that had earring much similar to the necklace. You knew if you were to buy this you would have to sell yourself; and maybe even then you couldn’t buy it. That’s why you didn’t feel worthy enough to wear it; you did anyway. You didn’t wanna seem rude. “You ready?” You nodded with a small smile before linking your arm with his.  

The ride to the hotel was quiet but not uncomfortable. Steve’s eyes didn’t leave you even for a second. There was a proud smile on his face; like he was proud to have you as a date. 

“Stop it.” You finally said as the car came to a stop; a smile on your face.

“What?”

“Stop staring.”

“I can’t help it, doll. You’re gorgeous. You’re gonna break some hearts in there.” He commented making you blush even harder. He got out of the car and then came to your side to help you; that chivalrous man. 

The hotel was just what you expected; if not more. You have to say you were slightly jealous of Steve that his life has always been this. The men on the door quickly recognized him and opened the door; they didn’t even ask for his name. You were busy admiring the view when Steve tugged on your arm and pulled you inside. And oh god, if you thought that the outside was beautiful; the inside resembled heaven. 

“Steve, you’ve made it.” Said a thick british accent said behind you and the two of you quickly turn around. You have to say who you came to face with was a sight for sore eyes. He was blond just like Steve, maybe even more. His blue eyes were lighter than Steve’s and there was a big smile on his face like he was genuinely happy to see Steve. But what surprised you most was that there was no one with him. It was a shame that a man like himself was single. 

Steve’s hand left the small of your back to greet his friend with a manly hug. “How could I not, Brother?” Steve’s pulled back and he didn’t take a second to move his hand back to where it was; on the small of your back.

“And who is this beguiling lady.” His eyes did a once over of your whole  body before stopping at your face. You almost raised an eyebrow at the choice  of his words.

“He’s british.” Steve whispered to you not so subtly making the man and as well as you chuckle. “Y/n, this is Thor; a very good friend of mine. And Thore, this is Y/n.” You tried to ignore the fact that he didn’t add anything else and held your hand for Thor to shake. 

“Nice to meet you, Thor.” The name sounded a little weird on your lips.

“Oh the pleasures all mine, Ms. Y/n.” He smiled and pulled your hand to his lips. You blushed when he kissed to soft skin of your hand. You felt Steve getting a little stiff beside you and you wondered if he was getting jealous. Thor let go of your hand and stood straight. 

You soon came to know that Thor is the one who hosted this party. You complimented him about the gorgeous set up and he said its nothing in comparison to you which made you blush once again.

Steve mingled and introduced to a few other people; in the same way he introduced you to Thor. Just your name; no context. You have to say it did hurt you a little but you didn’t let it show on your face. You can’t blame him though; he never asked you to be his girlfriend. It wasn’t like that you were assuming either, it just would have been nice if he had said something other than ‘this is Y/n.’ You once again felt how you did when Brock used to introduce you to his rich friends; like you were nothing more than an arm candy. At least with Steve you didn’t mind it. 

“Capsicle. It’s been a while.” A shorter man said as he walked up to the two; a petite tall blonde in his arms. He was handsome as well and you wonder if all rich people were good looking; you have to admit even that asshole Brock was good looking. You felt Steve getting stiff beside you again. You were immediately aware of the tension between two men. You swear someone within a mile could sense the tension between two male. 

“Tony.” Steve replied with nothing more than a nod. His lips were pressed in a thin lineas he gave the brunette a forces smile. Tony’s eyes left Steve to meet with you. A smirk formed on his lips as his eyes shamelessly traveled over your body despite having the beautiful tall blonde in his arm. “Steve, wouldn’t you introduce to this gorgeous lady?” Tony said raising his eyebrow at you. You felt uneasy under his gaze, like he was judging you. Like he already knew that you do not belong herd.

“This is Y/n, my date. She’s a aspiring lawyer.” this was the first time Steve said something other than just your name and he said it like he was proud. “Y/n, this is Tony.” that’s all he said.

“Nice to meet you Y/n, I have to say, you’re completely out of his league.” Tony said one again shamelessly looking down at your body. Before you could reply to his comment Steve said in a harsh tone.

“Where’s Pepper, Tony?” Steve asked with a raised eyebrow. 

“Oh she couldn’t make it. How rude of me, this is Christine. And Christine you already know Steve Rogers and Y/n here.” The Blonde gave you a smile which clearly didn’t reach her eyes and you returned it. You didn’t like it one bit how her her eyes were travelling all over Steve; you wanted to glare at her but you stick to being professional for Steve’s sake. 

“Sweetheart, I hope you don’t mind if I steal your date for a while. Christine give her some company.” Tony didn’t wait for your reply as he dragged Steve away; huh what a surprise. You heard Steve grumble “What do you want, Tony.” before they were out of your hearing range. 

“So?” Christine said as you two walked to the bar. 

“So?” You asked confusingly.

“So how did you land Steve Rogers?” She asked with a smirk as she looked you up and down.

“I’m sorry, what are you trying to say?” You asked with an raised eyebrow.

“Come on, don’t play dumb.”

“I’m not ‘playing’ dumb, I actually have no idea what you’re talking about.” 

“Men like them never just fall for girls like us. You’ve had to offer something.” She asked with a smirk. The implication was very clear in the air and it made your blood boil.

“Look, lady, I don’t know how low your self esteem is or just how low you think of yourself but I am nothing like you.” You said through gritted teeth.

“Oh, so you’re one of those who think so highly of themselves. Just wait until the time comes, honey. He’s gonna drop you like a used can.”

“Thank you so much. Your company is no longer needed.” As you left her to go to the bar alone you hear her mumble “bitch” behind you but you chose to ignore it.

No matter how hard you try her words have affected you. She was right at some point though, men like Steve don’t just fall for girls like you. You don’t even have a stable job, you don’t belong to his lifestyle, you have nothing in common, why was he even interested in you? Before you could once again overthink about what she said someone came and sat on the bar stool beside you. The familiar voice caught your attention.

“Steve is an idiot.” You turn to see the gray blue eyes taking in your form. A smile immediately took place on your lips. You were so glad to see a familiar face other than Steve’s in this room full of people you don’t even know.

“Hello to you too, Bucky. May I ask why are you calling your best friend an Idiot?”You asked sipping on the champagne.

“Because if I had a date as gorgeous as you, I would not leave her alone even for a second.” He replied making you giggle as a wave of heat rose to your cheeks due to the compliment. 

“Do you flirt with everyone so much, Mr. Barnes?” You asked with a small smirk.

“Nope, just a very few incredibly beautiful woman. But seriously though, where is that Punk.” 

“He’s talking to one of the guests, Tony Stark.” You said and his eyes almost widen.

“No way. Steve and Tony are talking without starting a war? I don’t believe this” A smirk playing on his lips.

“Well, that’s what he told me his name was, unless they are lying to me. Why is it so unbelievable, that they are talking?” You asked curiosity.

“Oh Steve’s gonna kill me for telling you this......But he can suck my Dick.” He said making you laugh then he leaned closer to you to tell you the secret. You know you shouldn’t be invading Steve’s privacy like that but fuck him for leaving you alone. “Steve and Tony used to work together, well to be exact Steve used to work under Tony. Then somewhat ten years ago, Steve resigned and started his own business and all of Tony’s clients left him and went to Steve.” You knew he leaving some big chunk of information out but you decided not to press on it. It wasn’t your place to know in the first place anyway. 

“Ten years? Wow, how old are you guys?” You chuckled, it was a bit weird though, because ten years ago you were only 11 and Steve had his own company, another reason why he shouldn’t be interested in you. You are so young and inexperienced.

“Just a little older than Hitler.” He joked making you laugh out loud.

“You’re funny.” You complimented putting a hand on his shoulder while laughing. You saw him looking down at your face with a big smile on his face but what you didn’t was Steve glaring at the back of Bucky’s head as he walked toward the two of you.

“I see you are keeping my date entertained.” Steve said with a slightly forced smile as he reached the two of you. You turned around just in time when his hand came down to wrap around your waist. Steve seemed different from before he left to talk to Tony. Now he seemed angrier, you could almost feel the new heavy weight on his shoulder just by looking at him.

“Someone had to. You left her alone between so many people she doesn’t even know, It was either me or those douche ogling her.” Bucky tilted his chin and you slightly turned to the said direction to see a group of men stealing glances at you.

“Thank you.” Steve said as he glared at the men and then turned back to you. “Sorry, Y/n, I had to sort something out with Tony.” Steve said making Bucky smirk. “Is there a problem, Buck”

“Oh no, not at all. Enjoy the party two of you, I’ll go mingle with some people.” Bucky replied making his way toward a petite blonde with a smirk on his face.“Just a little older than Hitler.” He joked making you laugh out loud.

“You’re funny.” You complimented putting a hand on his shoulder while laughing. You saw him looking down at your face with a big smile on his face but what you didn’t was Steve glaring at the back of Bucky’s head as he walked toward the two of you.

“I see you are keeping my date entertained.” Steve said with a slightly forced smile as he reached the two of you. You turned around just in time when his hand came down to wrap around your waist.

“Someone had to. You left her alone between so many people she doesn’t even know, It was either me or those douche ogling her.” Bucky tilted his chin and you slightly turned to the said direction to see a group of men stealing glances at you.

“Thank you.” Steve said as he glared at the men and then turned back to you. “Sorry, Y/n, I had to sort something out with Tony.” Steve said making Bucky smirk. “Is there a problem, Buck?”

“Oh no, not at all. Enjoy the party two of you, I’ll go mingle with some people.” Bucky replied making his way toward a petite blonde with a smirk on his face.

“Come on we have to leave.” Steve said as he pulled you off from the bar stool.

“So soon?” You asked with an raised eyebrow. 

“Yes.” He replied as he almost dragged you out of the hotel. It wasn’t like you were protesting or something, you couldn’t care less about the party; you were just surprised by Steve’s behavior.

“Steve, what is going on?” You asked as Lorenzo pulled  in front of you.

“Nothing. Let’s just go.”

“No. You can’t just drag me around like a rag doll, Steve. I am not going anywhere until you tell me what is going on.” You crossed your arms across your chest as you looked up at him. Steve thought it was the most adorable yet sexiest thing he has ever seen.

Instead of giving you an answer he wrapped an arm around you and crashed his lips on yours; taking away your breath.. You were taken aback at first but then kissed him back. You put your hands on his shoulder and deepened the kiss. His fingers were digging in your waist as he pulled you closer than possible.

He pulled away too soon for your liking. Your lips followed his until he stood up straight and was out of your reach. You slowly open up your eyes to look in to those gorgeous blue ones. His lips were slightly kiss swollen and smeared with the wine red colour of your lipstick.

“I don’t like it when he flirts with you.”

“Who?....wait, are you jealous.” The confuse look on your face was soon changed into a wide smirk. 

“What?..No.” He took a little time to answer as he walked up to the car. 

“Hey, don’t lie to me. You are jealous.”

“Ok fine, maybe.......yes. Can we go now.” He looked like he didn’t quite like the confession but that didn’t mean you didn’t like either. You skipped up to him happily and pecked his cheek. 

“Yes sir.” You could see the small smile on his lips as he helped you inside the car. “By the way you have nothing to be jealous.” You said in a small voice as he slide in beside you.

“I know.” He replied before capturing your lips once again as Lorenzo pulled away from the hotel.

*******

A/N: Like if you like the chapter, if there’s something you didn’t like feel free to tell me in the comments or in the asks, If you want do be tagged send me an ask.

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[comrade-meow]

Last week, the Lancet medical journal became briefly internet-famous when it published the following sentence on its Twitter account: ‘Historically, the anatomy and physiology of bodies with vaginas have been neglected.’

The sentence is a pullquote from a bigger article, but boy does it capture the imagination on its own. Like a Hieronymous Bosch painting, you can return to it again and again, always finding something new and surprising to appreciate. There’s the musicality of it, all those four- and five-syllable words that roll pleasantly off the tongue. There’s the faintly macabre invocation of ‘bodies’, followed by ‘with vaginas’, suggesting a collection of corpses accessorized with (but not necessarily attached to) a bunch of birth canals. There’s a straightforward descriptiveness, too, almost evocative of content meant for children: if you liked Bananas in Pajamas, you’re gonna love Bodies with Vaginas!

But the weirdness of the sentence is ultimately outdone by the ubiquity of language like it, reflecting a recent but indisputable shift in the way that academic and activist communities, including in medicine, talk about women. There’s a whole new world of terminology out there, all of it centered on bodies and biology, that studiously avoids any mention of whose body it is. It’s a world of menstruators, people with cervixes, vulva owners — and, of course, bodies with vaginas.

This is an interesting development given that any mention of vaginas was not long ago declared taboo in activist spaces. Productions of The Vagina Monologues, once an iconic feminist play, have been repeatedly closed down over the past five years after protesters complained that it implicitly excluded women without vaginas. A 2014 celebrity benefit to fund abortions for disadvantaged women in Texas, titled ‘Night of a Thousand Vaginas’, also came under fire for being ‘hurtful and exclusive’ to trans women. At the time, the message to women was clear: vaginas are canceled. Don’t talk about them.

But now ‘women’ as a category is canceled too, for the crime of failing to include vagina-havers who don’t consider themselves as such. ‘Female’? Same deal: it’s not the language but the entire notion of sex as an identifying factor that has been problematized.

It’s hard to overstate what a weird coda this is to the history of medicine as an institution, in which women’s bodies were often the object of fear, suspicion, and harmful ignorance. From superstitions about menstrual blood, to Freud’s disavowal of the clitoral orgasm, to a medical establishment that turned a blind eye to the ways that female physiology and biochemistry differed from men’s, the healthcare system (of which a journal like the Lancet is a part) has been riddled with biases that continue today. For decades, women were seen as a sinister other, their bodies too dark and dangerous to explore, a no-go zone on the map of humanity.

But then, at least we made it on the map.

The new rubric, on the other hand, leaves nothing to point at, no territory of our own. It’s all casual dehumanization (‘bodies with vaginas’), decategorization and language that leaves us with little room to discuss the common biology, anatomy and experiences of the group that once called itself ‘women’.

Simone de Beauvoir lamented that women were a perpetual other, the object to a male subject, defined not by their own characteristics but by the ways in which they weren’t men. But now it seems that there are men and there are women — that is, anyone who cares to claim the label — and then there’s that other category. You know. Those people: menstruating, lactating, vulva-owning, a loose assembly of body parts that no longer merits its own name, let alone its own movement. The other-twice-removed. It’s an irony of this brand of inclusion: the more we stretch to respect and recognize the humanity of some groups, the more one particular group of people, always the same one, gets nudged toward the margins.

In 1993, Ruth Bader Ginsburg famously said, ‘The decision whether or not to bear a child is central to a woman’s life, to her well-being and dignity. It is a decision she must make for herself. When Government controls that decision for her, she is being treated as less than a fully adult human responsible for her own choices.’

A week ago, in an awareness-raising tweet centered on the new Texas abortion law, the ACLU reproduced that quote — only bowdlerized to erase all traces of sex-specificity. Every ‘woman’ became ‘[person]’; every ‘she’ became a ‘[they]’.

Of course, feminism has always purported to define itself as the radical notion that women are people. But it’s a fair bet that this isn’t what anyone had in mind.

[frasier-crane-style]

Terminator: Dark Fate

I have no idea how TSCC came up with two seasons’ worth of innovative scenarios about Terminators and these cinematic universe motherfuckers can only redo T2 with more CGI.

This movie is plotless. It has no real plot. It’s like Now That’s What I Call A Terminator Movie! There are so many callbacks and borrowings from all the other Terminator movies that it passes the point of homage and just becomes plagiarism. The bad Terminator is the same as the T-X, metal endoskeleton with a T-1000 shell. They kill him with a Terminator power core. They say Come With Me If You Want To Live and I’ll Be Back (twice! It’s the first thing Sarah Connor says and it makes no sense in context, it’s just something people say in Terminator movies). In fact, it has anti-plot, since it undoes a lot of the story developments in Terminator and T2.

The premise is basically just we’re going to remake Terminator 1, but people don’t like reboots, so we’re going to bring back Linda Hamilton and make it a technically kinda sorta sequel (sure, Skynet was wiped from existence, but another, completely different, yet exactly the same AI called Legion was created and did the exact same thing. Which also happened in T3, but they had the decency to still call it Skynet). But otherwise, it’s entirely people being chased by an evil robot from the future and trying to destroy it. 

That’s it. That’s all there is to it. T2 had the whole thing about preventing Judgment Day before it happened. T3 had Judgment Day actually happen. This one, nothing. There is nothing going on under the surface other than a bunch of action sequences and explosions. Even T3 got some mileage out of the idea that Judgment Day was inevitable. Here, our cast learns that Judgment Day was already ‘averted’ once slash that it’s destined to be repeated and they basically go “Eh. Figures.” I’m not kidding.

Wait, that’s not fair. Let’s count out the TWEEESTS.

1. In a very contrived way, the script waits an hour and a half to actually explain why heroine Dani has been targeted for termination--you know, the thing Kyle Reese explained to Sarah Connor the moment they were out of danger--all to set up this big ‘reveal’ that Dani isn’t the NuSarah, she’s the NuJohn (yes, they actually say this aloud, just so you soup sandwich motherfuckers in the audience get it). Hear that, neckbeards, John Connor is now a woman! And Mexican! And she’s got a bit of a gay vibe, because it’s 2019 and God forbid we have a heroine that isn’t a bit bicurious. If she has a cock and balls, my bingo card will be a winner.

2. Months after killing John Connor and thus completing his mission, an Arnold-model Terminator started a family (wow, that was quick) and learned the value of human life and eventually switched sides. This is a crazy new idea that also happened in Terminator: Genebissss, so it’s done and dusted in ten minutes, even though Arnold is the most engaging character. (He’s saddled with a lot of yuk lines about how he’s a comically serious Terminator, yet (teehee) works as an interior decorator, but at least he has a personality.)

3. The other good Terminator is Grace, who needs meds to keep up her cyborg strength or she’ll crash (this never affects the plot) (it’s like they read something about Rey Palpatine having no flaws and so they decided to give Grace the ‘flaw’ of literally having her own Kryptonite). She’s not a Terminator, she’s an augmented human, which means she can make MCU-style wisecracks every five minutes. (”I didn’t hear anything.” “That’s because you’re not a cybernetic super soldier from the future.” Actual dialogue.)

4. Linda Hamilton is back, baby! Yes, that’s right, they dragged her away from doing guest spots on Lost Girl! Can you believe???? She’s become a Terminator hunter that ambushes Terminators as they come back from the future and destroys them, because Skynet was both able to send back an infinite number of Terminators AND because now they can easily be destroyed by one five-hundred-year-old woman. 

This makes it a bit confusing why they have so much trouble taking out Ghost Rider, given that he’s a T-1000 skin with a creamy T-800 center. It seems like if you hammer him enough, he’s got no endoskeleton, and that’s all she wrote. That’s what happened to the T-X. Can his liquid metal skin just walk around without the other half of him? If so, what’s the point of the endoskeleton? The T-1000 managed without it and that seemed a lot harder to kill. At one point, Sarah hits the bare endoskeleton with a bazooka, which seems like it should’ve been a mortal blow, but it’s the first act, so I guess not.

And is it supposed to be funny that the opening takes place in a car factory where (in 2019!) the human workers are losing their assembly line jobs to machines? Because they’re all Mexicans? None of them ever look at a Terminator and go THEY TOOK OUR JOBS, but man, that one is all teed up for the Rifftrax boys.

For a movie with, as I said, no plot, it’s very rushed. They seem to be saying “yeah, it’s a dumb Terminator movie, you know the score,” (even tho it’s halfway aimed at people who aren’t Terminator fans; more on that in a minute) because it seems to take all of ten minutes for both good guys and bad guys to find Dani and start getting into CGI stunt double fights, which means the story has very little time to breathe and we have very little time to get to know any of the characters. The bad guy spawns practically at Dani’s front door! And pretty much does everything by massacring a bunch of people and then hacking a computer. The T-1000 had some intelligence, some charisma. This guy’s a big nothing.

And the Dani character is useless. She starts the story already super assertive, is barely traumatized at all by her loved ones being killed and her own life being endangered. There’s none of that relatable feel of an everyman suddenly being told they have a grand destiny and an incredible responsibility, because right from the start she’s standing up to her mean boss and doing the Nevertheless She Persisted thing. And all this while being literally five feet tall and looking all of twelve years old. 

I love these Spy Kids movies.

And at least the original two movies were smart enough to leave the future John Connor mostly to the imagination. This one actually shows us Dani as grizzled military badass, beating up guys and delivering inspiring speeches (would it surprise you to know that humans fighting among each other “is exactly what Legion wants”?), and it’s just--oh man. If ever a political leader is enough to make people think back to the good old days of Trump and Biden...

And if we’re going to talk shit (rightfully) about Jai Courtney’s Kyle Reese not being at all scruffy or traumatized or feral, it should be noted that Grace seems pretty well-adjusted for a post-apocalyptic guerrilla fighter (who all wear Starship Trooper uniforms). Aside from a tendency to smash the face in of everyone she comes across, whether they’ve done anything to deserve it or not (Sample dialogue, to a doctor who is looking at her X-rays after performing life-saving surgery on her: “Did I give you permission to look at my private parts?” SMASH. No, really!)

They really go all in on this cringey, woke af “You’re not the mother of some MAN, Dani. YOU ARE THE FUTURE!” And yet, there’s a hilarious amount of toxic masculinity in this movie, just without the dongs. About every other line Sarah and Grace have is generic tough guy bullshit about how they’re going to kick someone’s ass, how they’re suspicious of someone, how they’re hostile towards someone. If they had dongs, you would think they were the smallest dongs possible, because they are compensating for something, BIG TIME. Between the T-800 and Sarah and Grace, everyone in this movie seems to outright hate each other, to the point that Arnold’s killer cyborg is one of the more pleasant characters. It gets to where you just want someone to order a fucking decaf. Does the fact that Sarah Connor has a vagina keep it from being ridiculously over the top how she spends all her time either blowing up robots or drinking herself into a stupor? C’mon. You can’t complain about male characters having ‘man-pain’ then give Bad Grandma a pass over her ovaries.

And that’s it. It’s a Brundlefly shit between yet another dumb girlpower reboot for the people who’ve never seen a Terminator movie and a sequel with Sarah and Uncle Bob to try and get that last drop of blood outta this stone. They’re trying to make something that appeals to both people for whom this is their first Terminator and people for whom this is their latest Terminator and it just doesn’t work. The newbies don’t have any emotional investment in these characters and the Terminator fans don’t like it that all the old movies were rendered meaningless to prop up Grace and Dani.

Hilariously enough, I actually played Terminator: Resistance recently, which is a fun little mid-tier shooter that was meant to tie in to this movie... and it completely ignores all the Dani/Grace/Legion BS to take place in John Connor’s future war and tie in to the first two movies. That’s how forgettable this movie is. Its own damn video game adaptation pretends it doesn’t exist. Fuuuck.

Oh! Oh! Oh! And in that big, bad, sexist original Terminator, which was so unwoke and problematic, Sarah saved herself and finished off the Terminator herself. Here, Dani has to be saved by Arnold at the climax. The 35-year-old movie is more feminist than this one. Fuck you very much.

[bokutoslittlebird]

CHEERS TO ABOVERSE IM STILL CONFUSED BUT I WOULD LOVE TO KNOW MORE ABOUT ABOVERSE

IM ON A BREAK SO LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT IT at least my version of it. Many authors who write for Omegaverse have different styles of writing it and often will make it more complex or simple, depending.

A/B/O (Omegaverse) dynamics under the cut because uh... this is gonna be long

So first off, we have the rankings:

Alpha, which are the top of food chain, theoretically speaking, and are able to impregnate anyone. “But what about females?” Yes! Female alphas have a penis, like male alphas. Now, some authors will change it up. I’ve read some where the female alpha will still have the normal female genitalia, but has a penis that can pop out of the vagina? It was weird explanation, but that’s the gist. I’ve also read it where the female alpha is born with male genitalia, so only a penis. They could also have both, it is really up to the author’s wishes. Alphas have cycles of prime breeding which is referred to as a rut.

Betas are considered the normal class, they’re the middle men. Betas do not have cycles but they do have a scent. Male betas can get female betas and omegas pregnant, and alphas and male betas can get female betas pregnant. This means female betas go through their normal menustration cycles.

Omegas are the last class rank. They are the baby makers and can get pregnant regardless of their gender. So, male omegas. They also have a prime breeding cycle which is referred to as a heat (which is very similar, in my opinion, to a normal female’s estrus period). The equivalent for this in female betas is ovulation. Now, omegas can have babies, but how do you do that if you’re male? Well, some male omegas will have female genitalia, or they go through a c-section. Some authors write it with the baby coming out of the butt. It’s weird, but it’s creative expression, no strict laws of Omegaverse. Some male omegas will have the normal male genitalia, the penis and ballsack. These are useless, however.

Now, I headcanon that there is an extra level to both omegas and alphas. Some people have the abo dynamics interacting to create alpha/beta genes or beta/alpha genes (yes, there’s a difference). I add a level to alphas, so they’re a cut above the rest. This would include, but not be limited to, Enji Todoroki (BNHA), Iwaizumi Hajime (HQ!!), and Bokuto Kōtarō (HQ!!). These alphas above alphas would be deemed “Apex Alphas”. I have seen this term used before, I just can’t remember which blog I follow (or followed) used it, so please let me know if anyone knows where the term was coined; same with the omegas. An omegas extra level is a “Fecund Omega”, and these are highly submissive, housewife-esque omegas. These can include, do not come at me for this, Yachi Hitoka (HQ!!), Rei Todoroki (BNHA), and Oikawa Goshiki Tsutomu (HQ!!). Why them? Because I feel like they just are. Of course, they can be whatever you headcanon them as. Jesus fuck i hc Oikawa As a bottom and an omega but I know a lot of people don’t see that so it’s personal opinion.

If you’ve gotten this far, you’re probably still caught on that whole “scent” thing. If you’re not, that’s okay. You’re still gonna read this. Scents are distinguishing smells that each alpha, beta, and omega carry. An alpha’s pheromones are stronger and overpower an omega’s and beta’s. Betas, while they have scents, cannot actually smell the distinguishing scent (See BokuAka: Threesome, Kinktober day 13 for an example). Omegas have scents which are often more feminine, usually referred to as being “sweet” or “floral”. There is nothing wrong with that, but it doesn’t mean an omegas scent has to be feminine. An alpha’s/omega’s scent increases and gets heavier with their rut/heat cycle. Fan fictions set in school setting are usually introducing a set of guidelines for this: either the alpha/omega is forced to stay home during their cycle, or some kind of suppressors are put in place. I’ve seen medicine used, scent-blocking collars, as well as a “special perfume/cologne” (it was only in one fic and it was on Wattpad, so not common).

Alphas and omegas also tend to fall to their instincts more often than not. It isn’t a common theme, but I feel like it would fit properly. Maybe if an apex alpha gets a whiff of an omega about to enter a heat cycle, that alpha will then become obsessed with that omega, perhaps even howling (the idea of Bokuto howling at a Reader who accidentally entered a heat cycle gets me hot dont @ me).

Onto intercourse aka sex! So, alphas have what is called a knot. It is used to plug up their mate (which is their s/o) full of their cum, yummy! Jk The knot itself will inflate as the session goes on, and is quite painful for the receiving partner. Due to this, some authors will write it so a knot is only used during a rut or heat cycle. I do them regardless because, well, I like it. Also, alphas will be adamant about not being submissive or on the receiving end due to instincts, and vice versa for omegas. Their instincts come first when it comes to their cycles, definitely, but in general as well. Knotting also faces a problem, aside from the stretch: the inflation lock. The knot acts as a plug, yes? So, the alpha has to wait for their knot to deflate before detaching themselves from their partner. This can take a few moments, until the alpha has expended their seed and possibly until both parties breathe normally. I’ve also seen it where this can last up to 30 minutes, so get comfortable!

There is another aspect of sex with alphas, but is not necessarily only with sex (it will commonly be seen during intercourse, however). That is marking. I don’t mean writing a name on skin with a marker or branding their name into skin (even tho that’s hot), no. Biting down hard enough to draw blood, therefore leaving a mark? Yes. This lays claim to an omega or beta by an alpha and is a signal of a lasting relationship. Here’s where authors differ: how long the mark lasts. Some have the marks last forever, some only a week, some a month, some for years. It depends. When a mark starts to fade, it requires the alpha to once again claim their mate. This can also lead into angst material, as I’ve read one fic where the alpha marked an unmated omega and essentially ruined their life. Or, on a different note, having a mark that will last for months and having their mate die and soon, their mark fades too. Now, both omegas and alphas can mark their mates, it’s more commonly seen with alphas, though. Betas are not seen to mark their partners, but can be marked by an alpha or omega.

I briefly mentioned scenting, which is different from scents. Let me explain. Scents are what an individual has that is their distinguishable smell. This can vary from person to person, author to author. For example, I headcanon that Akaashi (HQ!!), regardless of rank, has a distinct spearmint and/or coffee smell, which is actually quite common for him. On the other side, I headcanon someone like Bokuto to smell like a pine forest, maybe even sandalwood? Something rustic, but other authors may see him smelling like a beach or even like smoke, due to his love of barbeque. The scents are completely versatile and can come from their hobbies, interests, or favorite food. For example, Sugawara’s scent could be spicy, like maybe it has a hint of Tabasco sauce or Buffalo sauce. Another indicator of scents, if they don’t have specific interests or a favorite food (looking at you, Osamu 👁👁), their scent can somehow relate to their personality. Like in the Suga headcanons, his omega had a spicy scent because of their chaotic, feral energy. Osamu would probably smell like a recently extinguished fire, or the air before a storm. Calm, quiet, but a warning. Scents get heavier with heats and ruts, of course, but they can also be amplified due to emotions. This is often seen in fics where an omega is upset and their alpha can tell and comfort them. Or, if you’re into angst, the beta cannot properly be there for their alpha/omega because they cannot smell their scent. (Yeah I went over this twice but it’s an important aspect of Omegaverse)

Scenting is different because, well, it’s a verb first off. So, an action. Scenting is usually what mates do to mark a claim. So, scents come from scent glands (I usually put them on the neck, as do other authors). Scenting is the action of rubbing their scent onto their mate/partner. Like I said previously, alpha’s scents overpower others, so if an alpha scents an omega, their scent could stay on the entire day. An omega’s scent doesn’t hold very long, but it’s faintly there. A beta cannot, in my little world, carry another’s scent. They have their own scents, but cannot be scented or be scenting anyone.

I think that’s everything lmao. Like I said, every author differs so this is basically my system of Omegaverse. A lot of people think Omegaverse is weird or just complicated and strange, but I see it as a way to explore, kind of? Like, if I wanna make this one character go absolutely feral, I make them an alpha or omega (see Kinktober piece, day 13, again lmao). There’s a lot of freedom when it comes down to it, since their is no strict rule or law about how it is to be written or produced. Not only that, it’s an AU that can be added onto anything, since it only really affects the genitalia and who can get pregnant, yknow? It’s also good as a society set up for gay ships, like BokuAka or IwaOi, having Akaashi and Oikawa being omegas while Bokuto and Iwaizumi are alphas. This is because same sex couples are still frowned upon in most countries, especially America (the south) and Japan. It also gives these gay ships a chance to have their own little offsprings together, which is downright adorable. I personally enjoy writing Omegaverse more than regular stuff because it adds an extra element to work with and don’t get me started on the whole predator-prey dynamic. Delicious 💦