#every so often this blog becomes my journal and I wouldn't have it any other way

[probablyscreamingintothevoid]

Things that have had an impact on me in 2023

Warm Bodies by Isaac Marion (series)

Blue October (especially seeing them live)

Yuri on Ice

Writing my story for Yuri on Ice

My bestfriend traveling the world

Going back to therapy

Volleyball

First Light by Hozier

Writing when I am angry

Reading books (fanfiction as well, but I have struggled with that more than books)

Piercing my nose

Dying my hair

Purging my physical belonging, especially clothes

[thepeculiarbird]

Characters from project.dgkotr

So as you (maybe) know, I've been working on this wip for over a year now. So I've been thinking of introducing my characters, this will be updated from times to times if there's a new character or if I just find something interesting about an already existing one.

This is mostly based on their 'volume 1 versions' so most things happening in volume 2 or 3 won't be written here.

If you want informations about any of the characters, check on my blog and look for # with the corresponding emoji (exemple : #🦩). If you still can't find what you want, leave an ask or a comment and I'll try to answer as best as I can !

MCs :

🖌️ - Noe / 21-22 (start-finish) / Gay / He-Him

Noe is one of the mcs. His dad disappeared for (not so) unknown reasons when he was 5 so he doesn't actually know him that much. He studies art in an art school where he met Adam and Devyn. You guessed it, he likes to draw and he also used to play trumpet but just kinda gave up lessons.

In volume 1, we start with his point of view (or pov).

📷 - Madhi / 22 / Bisexual and Ace / He-Him

Madhi is also a mc. He lives with his parents and his two sisters in the same city as Noe and Danae. He dates Danae, however, there's been some tension between the two and it may not go completely well. He studies journalism and likes to write but it's not really a hobby.

In volume 1, we finish with his point of view (or pov).

🛹 - Danae / 21-22 (start-finish) / Up for interpretation / She-Her

Danae is the third mc. She lives with her parents and her brother, Alec. She doesn't study but it is mentionned once that she works at McDonalds. She spends time skateboarding, roller-skating and she loves trying new ice-cream flavors and drinks (well at least that's what her bf thinks). She's kind of the mom friend. She dates Madhi as told above, she was really happy to be apart of the 'little' investigation, until of course, the discovery of the cult...

She's often called "Dan" for short by her family and Noe, her boyfriend doesn't use that nickname as much.

Deuteragonists :

🦩 - Prescillia / around 18 / Lesbian / She-Her

Prescillia is Madhi's sister, she's the middle child. She wants to become a fashion designer because she loves knitting and she will use her brother as a mannequin for the clothes she made. Her bestie is Sibylle <3.

🎸 - Alec / around 15 / Up for interpretation / He-Him

Alec is Dan's brother. He's in a band with 3 friends, he's the guitarist of that band. They play for little school shows or other small events. He cares a lot about his friends and sister even if doesn't show it much. He's also really close with Martin since they knew eachother for so long and he was really scared Martin wouldn't make it after 'the incident'.

🍭 - Devyn / 22 / Up for interpretation / She-Her

Appearance

Devyn is the silly person "every" friend group has. She also studies art, digital art to be more precise. Even tho she seems really innocent, there are some secrets about her. She never knew her mother, her dad told her that she went to prison and Devyn just believed it. She loves wearing really colorful accessories around her neck, in her hair or attached to her clothes, kind of decora aesthetic.

She does not make a physical appearance in volume 1 but is mentionned.

🦆 - Adam / 22 / Aroace / He-Him

Appearance

Adam is another less important mc. Like Noe and Devyn, he studies art, he loves to practise human anatomy and would have probably study sciences if he wasn't so bad at it. When he meets Prescillia, he agrees to be used as a mannequin instead of her brother, making all of them happy. Also, a lot of people thinks he dates Devyn which makes him laugh everytime someone mentions it because they obviously don't.

He does not make a physical appearance in volume 1 but is mentionned.

Side characters :

🧁 - Leslie / 10 / She-Her

Leslie is Prescillia and Madhi's little sister, she's the youngest child and she's so fucking cute.

📚 - Sibylle / around 18 / Up for interpretation / She-Her

Sibylle is a smart girl, she's stated as Prescillia's best friend.

🎤 - Oriane / around 15 / Up for interpretation / She-Her

Oriane is the singer in the same band as Alec. She's in a relationship with another member of the band. She has red and black hair. She also knows how to play guitar.

🍕 - Martin / around 15 / Up for interpretation / He-Him

Martin is the leader of the band where Alec and Oriane are in. He always has a smile on his face and is really good at helping people. He plays bass probably (I'm not an expert in music sorry) His best-friend is Alec.

🔮 - Honorine / around 18 / Up for interpretation / She-Her

Honorine is a member of the cult, she will appear hopefully in every book I write for this wip idea. Don't mess with her because even if she doesn't approve totally what the cult does, she can still kill you. She's very attached to her notebook. (She's more than a side character but doesn't really fit in the deuteragonists)

🎨 - Beatrice / 22 / Up for interpretation / She-Her

Beatrice is Noe's classmate at art school, at the beginning she dates his ex actually. She's quite mean but don't worry, that'll get better, hopefully. She mostly dresses in yellow and brown and she loves 60/70's clothing style.

🏚️ - Fronsant-sur-Breuil / Every character living in this village

This will represent the people leaving at Fronsant like Tristan, Cassie, Henry or even the Mayor. Since they're not as important as other characters and that there are a lot of them, I'm putting them all together.

Pets :

☁️ - Cloud / cat / female

Cloud is Dan and Alec's cat. She is grey/white and she looks like a cloud.

🦎 - Dino / dog / male

Dino was Noe's dog but he died when Noe was around 13. He was a barbet.

Tag : @athenaspeculiardaughter @kaylinalexanderbooks @raiden-makoto @sarandipitywrites @jaelink @aalinaaaaaa @lyutenw @buffythevampirelover @nettleandthorne @finxi-writes @arwenschepers @corruptedbread @whimsical-blood-fairy @unrepentantcheeseaddict @kidukami @ryns-ramblings @rowenas-my-fave-child @mysticstarlightduck

[blindrapture]

another excerpt from The Essay

IV- Blogging in the Deep

When I had the full chronology of the Fear Mythos in front of me, I was struck by one more thing: We had many, many, many Fears, but the monster that saw the most representation was, by far, The Slender Man.

This is the Slender Man drowning in the Deep. Drawn by Hexillith, upon my request. It is one of the pieces I have shared outside of the Graab most often. It is emblematic of an actual genuine Poetic Point that emerged in the creation of Viceking's Graab. That point is the dichotomy between The Slender Man and The Deep, two monsters that the Fear Mythos writes about, the two Fears of the Unknown.

The Slender Man might need less introduction. He's a tall "faceless" "man" who stalks victims and gives them a Lovecraft-lite horror experience. In the original stories, he in fact had many faces; his face appeared differently to every observer, though none could quite place the details in hindsight, and it was only on camera that his face was blank. The blogs and vlogs of the Slender Man Mythos established certain conventions, such as radical followers of the Slender Man that were referred to as his "proxies," who generally wore masks and often had unique character traits. There was also a Path of Black Leaves, which I'm not too sure on the details of but it's something like... if the Slender Man chased you, you might find yourself suddenly in a nightmarish forest, with a path of.. black leaves. Also, sometimes the Slender Man had tentacles that would emerge from his back. Sometimes they were branches. Sometimes the Slender Man spoke, sometimes the proxies spoke for him. Sometimes the Slender Man had blue semen, and the community generally hated that depiction. Victims of the Slender Man were most known for keeping journals of "mad scribblings," or always carrying a video camera wherever they went. The most popular form of Slender Man story, you see, was of the found footage horror variety: Victims would keep blogs, or vlogs, and that's where the Slenderblog and Slendervlog came from.5 That's the Slender Man. And when we brought him with us into the Fear Mythos, he was categorized as "the Fear of the Unknown."

The Deep, on the other hand, is a vaguer concept. Very early on in 2011, when the Fear founders had invited me in to create a water monster (which became EAT), I needed a reasonable explanation for why a story would have any hope at all and not just be an assumed tragedy; I needed to figure out why the water monster wouldn't just become All The World's Water and automatically Win. alliterator proposed that the water monster wouldn't do this because there is something in the oceans already, something far bigger which even EAT is afraid of. Something he called "The Deep," and something for which he noted the most effective portrayal would be a story that never shows us what this Deep is, nor even confirms if it exists. It was either he or I that proposed this, or both of us workshopping together, I can't remember. And the concept stuck in our mythos! Every now and then, a story would pop up that briefly mentioned The Deep, and that would be the full extent of it. So for years, The Deep remained almost like an in-joke, a philosophical experiment for storytellers. And when we had to categorize it, we could quite reasonably call it "the Fear of the Unknown."

There was the rub. There were two Fears of the Unknown, and what a juxtaposition they formed! One was utilized in hundreds if not thousands of blogs, and the other was arguably never used at all. The Slender Man, in fact, had been written with so much that I wondered if it could really be associated with "the unknown" at all. I still understood why some people liked the designation-- it sounds very cool, and it captures something of the essence that the Slender Man means to writers and readers-- but.. well, here I was with this budding weird-maze-thing that was gonna revolve around the Slender Man, and I realized I had an opportunity on my hands.

As I sculpted these dreamlike obscure blogs and wrote text that edged closer and closer to An Actual Point, I began to converge on this: "The Deep is the uncompromised unknown, past the boundaries of knowledge." "If we try and identify the unknown, we will form something that still fits into human-centric knowledge." "The Slender Man is what happens when a human tries to identify The Deep: a human shape, with inhuman features, and an unknown face." And, additionally, "The Slender Man may 'die' when he is fully Known to us, and we put him to rest as a concept and try again to identify The Deep."

That is the secret of Viceking's Graab, that is the mystery inherent. It is a representation of the abstract leftovers of a culture that put the Slender Man to rest inside the story-tombs they themselves built to honor him. Many of the architects of these ruins left long ago in search of new cultures or their own lives, and a few voices who weren't finished still remain within the walls. I am one of these. You, the reader, can roam this network of websites if you want. You will not find a climactic jumpscare in the center, as the Slender Man cannot literally fit within a coffin. There is no body. There are only, there can only ever be, more blogs.

To roam the Graab is to spend time in close proximity to The Deep. Let this section end on another art piece I requested, this time from The Visitor:

[its300am]

Something may be happening right now

What is written here is nothing but a compilation of uncertainties, something I should be taking to the therapy room from which I constantly find myself running away. I always wanted to have a blog, always thought it was great, and I was always in this field. I was in the golden eras of Tumblr as a reader and every now, and then I dared to write, but insecurity always caught up with me. I wrote, but I was terrified of being read. When someone who knew me discovered my writings, that was it, I would never appear on that website again. And that's why drowned and doomed to probably give up that I'm not going to give any certainty that this will one day become something, in fact, it may just be a journal. It will always be in process and if anyone asks, well, it's something I'm trying to make happen. Who knows, maybe one day it will happen even without me knowing.

I don't know if this format still works, It may seem cringe to younger ones, but I used to like things like this, and now that I'm way closer to my 30s than my 20s I'm in the right to be cringe or old-fashioned anyway… I'm not certain about my username yet, I wanted to be something that represents what people will find here, or what I look like to readers. I think the name will come to me eventually by itself. For now I'm its300am.

There are subjects that I like or deal with in general, and I think I should mention it to be aware of what may appear here.

• Movies, but my letterboxd is pretty empty, I mostly post vaguely there because I'm afraid of my mutuals, I mean, they know me IRL, so…

• Anime and manga, but it's been a while since I got close to any of those, college is being so hard on me. Still, my favorites are Dr. Stone, Bungo Stray Dogs and Jojo's Bizarre Adventure.

• Literature, but I have such a reading hangover that I spend more time thinking about reading than reading (and the bookshelf is just getting ignored). You can see as my goodreads is left to flies.

• Feminism, okay, in this one I think I'm more active, I'm even part of a women's collective, I may come to comment more on that in the future. I'm a Marxist feminist btw.

• Eco-socialism, this one is new to me, but I've always loved the subject, and now I'm getting closer, maybe one thing or another will appear even from my exploration on the subject.

• Comics, this is the sunken skeleton of that pool meme, you know what it is? I used to love it, but it's really been a long time since I've been close, I want to go back. I really like DC's specially their girls such as Wonder Woman, Harley Quinn, Ivy Poison, Punchline, Zatanna, and others. From Marvel, I enjoy X-Men, Guardians of the Galaxy and I have interest in the Eternals.

Other than that I get into a little bit of everything, in music I can't even say what my favorite genre is. My favorite artists transit between Mozart, Lily Allen, Sistar, Charlie Brown Jr, Selena Gomez, Ludmila, Green Day and so on, without any apparent pattern. My for you is summarized in compilations of kittens and some cosplayers, occasionally something about decoration or DIY appears.

In terms of games, I'm not committed to any, because I don't have much time to play, but I like Danganronpa, Identity V, Dead by Daylight, Street Fight V and Twisted Wonderland. The last one is the only one I play more often, since it doesn't demand much from me. I was addicted to Genshin Impact once, but I left the world of drugs and entered the world of hard drugs (college). Since then, it was a lost cause, and I'm not even a good student, I just need to work twice as hard to keep myself at least average. Thank you dyslexia, thank you bipolar disorder, without you my life would be very easy, so it wouldn't be any fun. /irony

My current addictions are listening to podcasts while doing daily activities, some of my favorites are Ciência Suja and Modus Operandi, both in my native language (Portuguese). Plus another addiction is organizing my stuff, the problem is that it never stays organized, so I'm constantly organizing a lifelong mess.

Now that you know me intimately, let's get to the formalities, I prefer to be called Kaká and I have no preference or identification with a specific pronoun. My sexuality is pan, but I'm not going to make war with anyone who confuses it with bi, I live in a huge fatigue, I don't have the energy for that, really. I'm studying literature and modern languages, focused on Portuguese, and I should graduate whenever destiny has planned to. I want to be a teacher, but every day I lose confidence that I have what it takes to pursue this career, so my plan b is to find a publisher that will take me on their team. Yo hablo Español & I want to learn Italian, French, Mandarin and Russian one day, not today.

I don't know what I'm doing here! Maybe it becomes a kind of logbook, and in this case I'm on board of my own life, trying to figure out what comes next and very afraid of what will become of me.

That's it. Fin.