#everybody hates kris

[tigergendermoved2tigergender]

The idea of Susie growing up in an all human town makes me a little mentally ill actually

[treeshrine]

me after putting down the book i was reading that devolved into some absolute batshit crazy out of character pre-established values of the world spit on and thrown to the wind nonsense

[junegirl06]

Some spamton art and rambling

Spamton is a very interesting character. Anybody who had payed attention to Deltarune after chapter 2 would know this. And his sheer popularity makes sense. His odd way of speaking, the perfect mix of quirkiness and terrifying insanity, the tragic backstory. The elements are all there to make a insanely well written character. But uh- I'm not here to gush about how good of a character Spamton is. (I mean, technically I am) I'm here to look at his character specifically through the lens of him being a spam bot.

Despite what the addisons said about Spamton being "like the rest of us," I think Spamton always was meant to be a little different. The way his appearance is very similar to the addisons but not quite the same - I'm pretty sure his marketing tactics followed the same principle. Whether it was because he was simply a bit more pushy with his advertisements, or that there was something a bit unnerving about his character even before gaster/the mysterious entity came into play, I'm sure there was a reason the customers ignored him. Just like how people ignore real life spam emails. They're annoying, unsafe, weird, stupid. Spamton was always meant to be ignored. To be that one email guy popping up at people with advertisements on the streets. People just DON'T LIKE SPAM.

Then the mysterious entity came into Spamton's life. Somehow, defying all logic, they made spam emails popular. They made Spamton popular. But they also gave him knowledge on the nature of their world. That everything is controlled by the plot and other such unseen forces, and that nobody can truly make their own decisions in this world. With this, Spamton knew his popularity really wasn't supposed to have happened in the first place, but everybody already loved him, (well, the addisons left him- but that was just because they were jealous! He didn't need them!) and he'd ride the wave as high as it'd take him.

But it all came crashing sooner than even Spamton expected. Without the entity's help, the world corrected itself, and everybody went right back to hating spam emails. Spamton would go back to being that forgetful email guy. No, it was even worse now. At least back then he had some people that were friendly to him. Now... he had nobody. He didn't even have a house.

He was always meant to be this way, wasn't he? No matter how hard he tried, the world simply wouldn't let him be a big shot. Spamton absolutely hated that. He wanted to fight back against this cruel world. Now, he didn’t just want his popularity back, he wanted freedom. To escape the confines of this story and his role as a personified spam bot, to become something… more. To truly become a [BIG SHOT]!

But that didn’t change the fact he was still a spam bot. And what do spam bots do? They just keep sending emails to as many people as possible, just in the off chance somebody will click that link. That’s exactly what Spamton does to try to gain his freedom. He latched on to a ray of hope- that robot in the basement- and repeatedly attempted to sneak inside the queens mansion to get to it without regard for exactly how good his plans are, in the vain hope one of those attempts would succeed at one point. He just kept trying. Over and over and over… slowly losing his mind even more in the process. There is evidence that he tries multiple times to get inside the basement, with Sweet Cap’n Cakes mentioning a “funny little man” asking them for help to sneak in the mansion, and Swatch mentioning an impersonator- which is probably Spamton. Which uh… the image of the tiny dude dressing up as this huge bird guy and thinking it’s a clever enough disguise to get past everybody in the mansion in a funny thought- but kinda sad at the same time. Seriously- did Spamton really think there was a chance that’d work??? But I digress.

Even with his repeated unsuccessful attempts to infiltrate the mansion- there was one attempt that worked. When Kris and the player came into the picture. But even with the help of a lighter and a literal god-being on his side helping him with his plan… he still failed. That neo robot didn’t do anything for his situation. He was still trapped. And so he turned against Kris, and by extension the player, in a last ditch attempt to get his freedom. That was what fully solidified his utter failure. He was going against us. But even if he hadn’t attempted to fight the player, he would’ve have failed in any other attempt anyways.

From the very moment Spamton decided to oppose the rules of this video game world, to try to become something more than a spam bot, he was destined to fail. Even if he managed to get Kris’s soul. Even if he somehow became as powerful as Asriel in undertale, he still wouldn’t get the freedom he wants. Because he is a character in a video game, and he will never become anything more than that.

[derangedanomaly]

Kris would totally just hug blade and tell him he's cool randomly at least once a week

BLADES HONEST REACTION WOULD BE THIS:

BECAUSE BOY WAS NEVER IN HIS LINE OF EXISTENCE TOLD HIM ANYTHING LIKE THAT 🙏🏻

HE WAS NEVER EVEN TOLD SOMETHING LIKE- "I love you!" "You're doing good!" "I missed you"

BECAUSE EVERYBODY HATES HIS ASS 😭✋ (except Chaos- but he doesn't count)

[blockgamepirate]

Techno's Minecraft Mondays!

Just wanted to give some more video recs: IMO the best weeks from Techno's POV are

week 1 with ShotGunRaids

week 3 with Ava Kris Tyson (she/her!) (note: this is pre-transition)

week 6 with Jschlatt

week 10 with Phil

Other weeks are also great but if you don't feel like watching all of them, these four would be my recs

Techno made his own highlights videos of weeks 1, 2, 3 and 14:

Jschlatt made a highlights video of week 6:

Phil made a highlights video of week 10:

^ All of these are great, can recommend. Week 10 is basically a must watch tbh, it's the beginning of a beautiful friendship (I actually prefer to watch the full VOD from Techno's POV but I included Phil's highlights video for people who don't have the time to watch the whole two and a half hours)

I also have a handy playlist for all of Techno's MCM VODs if you do wanna watch everything in full, unedited:

If you do though, I have a few potentially helpful content notes (these are from two years ago so they're not up to date but it's a start)

Week 5 Techno teamed with CallMeCarson but thankfully for most of the VOD they aren't together

If any of you would like to skip the Carson content, here's a handy list of timecodes and a summary so you can skip to the good bits:

20:06 Carson leaves

23:52 Carson comes back

28:35 Carson is muted

34:10 Techno joins team 11's call to find Carson

39:12 I think this is when Carson leaves the call?

48:15 Techno joins Carson again

48:57 Leaves the call

1:11:59 Carson comes back

1:14:50 Carson leaves again

1:16:30 And he's back

1:18:05 And he leaves for the last time

1:43:40 Techno attempts to contact Carson one last time but notices that Carson has left the server entirely

Summary: it's basically just Carson bullying Techno as a joke, which he did warn Techno he was gonna do ahead of time, except it gets very awkward very quickly and Techno hates it and asks Carson to stop but he just doesn't stop. Also it involved him spamming Techno with soundboard messages, most famously "Hey, Technoblade!" which became a meme. Also he tried to teamkill Techno a bunch, which led to Techno losing pretty badly in the first game

Techno spends most of the tournament either just doing solo commentary or hanging out in other teams' calls.

The parts without Carson are still great! Special shoutout to that last game where Techno plays hunger games solo

Also a warning for repeated jokes about a particular disease from AntVenom when Techno joins his and Jordan's call during MCM5. It's during Dropper if you wanna skip that

Other notes:

The first three weeks I would recommend maybe not reading the ingame chat too much if you don't wanna see people hating on Techno. Week 2 and week 3 are especially bad IIRC. But if you don't watch other POVs or read the chat you're mostly fine.

Also I wanna give a content warning for like a lot of food talk and also talk about not eating in week 4 (James talks a bunch about food and eats on stream and Techno has a running joke about not getting fed unless he wins)

I won't bother listing all his teammates. If Techno is teaming with someone you don't want anything to do with; unless it's Carson you're probably just gonna have to skip that week entirely.* Carson is the only one who Techno spends long periods of time not talking to, everybody else he's in VC with pretty much the whole time

(* actually week 14 might still be worth watching despite the teammate (Wisp). That one used to be on my recs list and I only took it off just now because of Wisp, but the highlights video really doesn't have that much of him in it and mostly everybody's just in a massive group call so I think it's fine? It's on the first playlist I linked. For the VOD maybe skip to about 1:01:00 and watch from there?)

Anyway I'm not gonna tell you what to do, I still feel fine about watching those weeks despite the teammates*, because the streams are mostly fine out of context as far as I can remember and it's not like I'm giving them views when I'm just watching Techno's POV, but if you don't feel comfortable doing that, that's understandable and you can skip those weeks.

(* this was written two years ago, I would probably skip week 13 now just because I personally can't handle hearing that guys voice anymore, not that there's anything bad in that VOD from what I can remember (it used to be one of my faves rip))

(Hopefully there isn't anything big that I'm forgetting)

[a-town-called-hometown]

i always saw part of "the kids are using the dark worlds as an escape and that's a problem" as "it's not exactly great they're using entire worlds that way" like thats always been part of the point. on a smaller scale Kris is so fucked up about Ralsei in part because they're seeing him as a symbol and not as himself and like, both of them need to work on approaching each other as People (and not "my failed childhood ideals" vs "my purpose and higher reason"). are people just like "no the dark worlds should be gone" that just seems dumb,

even if the dark worlds do represent escape to susie, you kind of can't ignore the fact that kris' agency is being suppressed to even GO there. it's clear that they're not having the worst time ever (they still crack jokes and stuff) but it's hard for me to imagine that they view the dark world as pure escapism considering that fact. also snowgrave exists? i seriously doubt that the dark worlds are fun escapism if kris can be forced to manipulate their friend into killing their classmate. their lack of agency, and by extension the darkners' lack of agency, is fundamentally intertwined with how the dark world is played.

but even if I suppose that escapism is a coherent reading of the dynamics occuring in deltarune (I disagree heavily,) yeah, the main reason why i hate it is because almost everybody who espouses that theory seems to take it as a given that the dark worlds and ralsei are standing in the way of the lightners accepting reality, or whatever. people will straight up say that the darkners aren't real and aren't meant to have agency. "the dark worlds are created for escapism" becomes a vehicle for "and therefore they are meant to be left behind." as you may imagine, I have a problem with this idea.

[helslastangel]

Scorpio Venus Celebrities

Some of these surprised me, I must say.

Aimee Garcia

Aisha Tyler (Lana Kane)

Alexis Bledel (Rory Gilmore)

Alfie Allen (Theon Greyjoy)

Alfred Enoch (Wes Gibbins)

Andrew Lincoln (Rick Grimes)

Anne-Marie Duff (Fiona Gallagher)

Anthony Mackie (The Falcon, Marvel)

Brie Larson (Carol Danvers)

Bruce Lee

Carly Rae Jepsen

Charles Dance (Tywin Lannister)

Chrissy Teigen

Christina Milian

Cicely Tyson

Dakota Johnson

Damon Wayans Jr.

Danielle Brooks

David Schwimmer (Ross Geller)

Denzel Washington

Diplo

Drake

Eden Sher (Sue Heck)

Ella Mai

Ellie Goulding

Ellen Pompeo (Meredith Grey)

Emilia Clarke (Daenerys Targaryen)

Eugene Levy

Frank Ocean

Gerard Butler (Clyde Shelton)

Gordon Ramsey

Gwendoline Christie (Brienne of Tarth)

Halsey

Hugh Jackman (Wolverine)

Ian Somerhalder (Damon Salvatore)

Jamie Foxx

Janelle Monáe

Jason Derulo

Jeffree Star

Jim Caviezel

John Krasinski

John Legend

John Sanford (Sanford and Son)

Jonah Hill

Kaley Cuoco (Penny, Big Bang Theory)

Katherine Heigl (Izzie Stevens)

Kirk Douglas

Kit Harrington (Jon Snow)

Kris Jenner

Lena Headey (Cersei Lannister)

Louis Tomlinson

Luke Goss

Tyrese Gibson (Roman Pearce)

Matt Damon

Mayim Bialik (Dr. Amy Farrah Fowler)

Milla Jovovich

Nia Long

Ne-Yo

Penn Badgley (Dan Humphrey; Joe Goldberg)

Regina Hall

Russell Peters

Sia

Stefanie Scott (Lexi Reed)

Steven Yeun (Glenn Rhee)

Taraji P. Henson

Tyler James Williams (Everybody Hates Chris)

Tyson Beckford

Usher

Winona Ryder

Zac Efron

Zoë Kravitz

[realm-of-aethercrest]

What is the context of the battle against susie?

Susie's been really upset with how everybody's life seems to be going well (Kris included since they are part of the royalty and she considers that "lucky"), until she discovers a Dreamscape that is rotting like hell. She likes how it's all falling apart, something she wished it happened in her world so she could have a lot of fun wrecking everything she sees. That's destruction through malice. She hates the world she's living in, as well as the people around her.

Meaning, she's projecting her own grudge to you through violence. She doesn't care if you're dying as long as it's making her feel better, which isn't...

[sillylittleflower]

Wilhelm edits Part 1

drowning by Bri on youtube, audio and text made by lucidstilinski, credits to @raincitygirl76 for posting it on here

"bury my love" by Bri on youtube, song: Moondust (stripped, EP version) by Jaymes Young

"big black hole" by Bri on youtube, song: Black hole by Skaar

cause i need you here by Bri on youtube, song: You and I by JERUB

Wilmon x Kris book discussion by @wilhelmsbee

Ribs by @wilhelmsbee song: Ribs by Lorde

Wilhelm and Krissy by @wilhelmsbee song: That's our lamp by Mitski

i would do it again by @wilhelmsbee song: Francesca by Hozier

in my defense, i have none by @wilhelmsbee song: the 1 by Taylor Swift

the end is here by @wilhelmsbee song: i know the end by Phoebe Bridgers

haven't i given enough by @wilhelmsbee song: Gilded lily by Cults

There's an ache in you, put there by the ache in me by @wilhelmsbee song:'tis the damn season by Taylor Swift

hey, it's all me, just don't go by @wilhelmsbee song: Afterglow by Taylor Swift

it's better not knowing how it can feel by @wilhelmsbee song: speak now by Taylor Swift

saying i'm sorry for that night by @wilhelmsbee song: back to december by Taylor Swift

Devil's advocate by @wilhelmsbee song: Devil's Advocate by The Neighbourhood

Wilhelm crushing and being cute by @wilhelmsbee kua kora he kupu by BENEE

Wilhelm being cute by @wilhelmsbee

wilhelm being silly by @wilhelmsbee song: first time by hozier

wilhelm being silly crack by @wilhelmsbee

Wilmon x Crisis by @wilmonsvibe

Family Line by wilmonprnce on youtube, song: Family line by Conan Gray

you should see me in a crown by wilmonprnce on youtube, song: you should see me in a crown by Billie Eilish

castle by wilmonprnce on youtube, song: castle by halsey

NDA by wilmonprnce on youtube, song: NDA by Billie Eilish with spanish subtitles

Lovely by Mat Law on youtube, song: lovely by Billie Eilish

Privacy by Mat Law on youtube, song: lost by CRIM36

Me without you by @misfithive song: Me without you by Morgxn

You're alive in my head by @chaotic-poet song: marjorie by Taylor Swift

You're on your own kid by @strrynght8 song: You're on your own kid by Taylor Swift

I hate everybody...but maybe i don't by @heartbreakprincewille song: I HATE EVERYBODY by Halsey

Be safe, be good by @heliza24 song: Be safe, be good (for Rachel) by Ride the Cyclone World Premiere Cast Recording

Love is Pain by @sillylittleflower song: Love is pain by Finneas

Wille in his revenge era by @sillylittleflower song: Where the poison is by Finneas

Crown Prince Wilhelm vs Wilhelm by @/edvin.sp on TikTok, credits to @piebingo for posting it on here

Wilhelm falling in love with Simon in 41 seconds by @/yrevolution on TikTok, credits to @piebingo for posting it on here

The Wille strut by @/filmsbyrudbergg on TikTok, credits to @piebingo for posting it on here

for @youngroyalsarchive

[curious-l1ght]

Took a break bc I had a short lived panic attack and calmed myself down so it wouldn't worsen but I'm back with a message for Ivorii

THIS IS REALLY LONG

Leave me the fuck alone. I don't understand why targeting me and thinking you can just apologise is something you can do. I'm literally scared of you after you targeted me. Just so you know, I BARELY GET SCARED OF PEOPLE!!!

And the fact that you are the reason that I'm hurting myself is a fact that I REALLY need you to know. You KNOW I was suicidal at one point, YOU KNOW YOU MOTHERFUCKER.

Getting that message was why I had a panic attack. AND I WILL FUCKING LEAK IT. HERE YOU GO

Tldr is at the bottom

Ivorii:

Okay, look. I fucked up, I know I did. I lied, and I was, so wrong for it. But, about my heart problems, they are hereditary, but my heart problems are not like yours, I didn't have to get cut open. It wasn't an open heart surgery like yours, it was originally going to be put in from my wrist/groin area, but it was changed to my esophagus area due to it being more "uphill". I know I caused you hell and that I probably scared the living shit out of you.

It wasn't right of me, at all. I feel bad about it everyday. I shouldn't have lied either, and I don't wish harm against anyone. I never did and I never will. I was a bad influence and a bad person, but I'm working to change. I know messing with any of you guys was the worst thing I could've done, and I feel so bad about it! If I had a second chance to go back and undo it, I would. I promise that I'm not a bad person, or a liar. I just didn't to get the attention I wanted, and I very immature when did it. I have remorse for everyone I hurt, and this isn't the first time I hurt someone(s) like this. But I have bigger apology to give out to you guys [Kris, Izzy, Candied] because you guys are minors, and you look up to those older than you, and I was the complete opposite. I probably know you won't see this and that you'll never trust me again, and it's understandable. I wouldn't trust myself either, but I'm working on being better, and trying to change. It's lonely without you guys, and I hate it. I hate every moment of it, and I hate that I did what I did. I hate not being there when you guys joke, or to celebrate holidays. I really want a second chance, only if you'll allow it. I'm so sorry for making you hurt, I'm really am a better person than this, I swear! I can try again, only if you'll let me. I acknowledge my wrong-doing, like an adult. I'm turning 20 this year and I'm acting like it. Just please don't tell Warden or the others that I'm here! I'm still very scared of them, and when I'm ready, I'll talk to them, but I just needed you to know.

I'm not a person, and I'll never make a foolish mistake like this again. Also, to clarify about my heart problems, but also apologize while I'm at it. I hurt you, and I never want you to feel a pain like that again. Just know I regret everything. I swear. You don't have to respond, I just needed to get that off of my shoulders, and hopefully off of yours too.

My response:

You targeted a minor, someone who just got tumblr a few months ago, and pretended to be someone else. I wanted to stay as far away from this stituation as far I possibly could but you pulled me into it. I'm actually fucking terrified of you now. You broke everyone's trust and ruined your reputation. You have caused me to hurt myself because I wanted a distraction from this and wanted to deal with a different type of pain. Targeting minors because you'd think they are more naive or whatever the fuck went through your rotting brain is downright wrong and its manipulation. Leave tumblr and never come back. Fuck you.

--------------

Taking it apart to respond better:

Okay, look. I fucked up, I know I did. I lied, and I was, so wrong for it.

You're damn right. You fucked up big time, and everybody knows that.

I know I caused you hell and that I probably scared the living shit out of you.

Yes, you really did. You scared me so bad I'm properly scared of you as a person.

It wasn't right of me, at all. I feel bad about it everyday. I shouldn't have lied either, and I don't wish harm against anyone.

Then why did you do this? Oh, right, ATTENTION.

I know messing with any of you guys was the worst thing I could've done, and I feel so bad about it!

Think before you act, fucker.

I promise that I'm not a bad person, or a liar. I just didn't to get the attention I wanted, and I very immature when did it.

Hard to believe you're turning 20.

But I have bigger apology to give out to you guys [Kris, Izzy, Candied] because you guys are minors, and you look up to those older than you, and I was the complete opposite.

You targeted minors. Think about that and get it through your thick ass skull.

I probably know you won't see this and that you'll never trust me again, and it's understandable. I wouldn't trust myself either, but I'm working on being better, and trying to change. It's lonely without you guys, and I hate it.

Yeah, I don't trust you at all anymore. Nobody does. And you're gonna have to deal with being lonely because of that.

I really want a second chance, only if you'll allow it. I'm so sorry for making you hurt, I'm really am a better person than this, I swear! I can try again, only if you'll let me. I acknowledge my wrong-doing, like an adult. I'm turning 20 this year and I'm acting like it.

Who is gonna give you a second chance? Are you really a better person? You act like a fucking 6 year old with your shitty lies and the fact that you constantly return and try to reconnect when we clearly don't want you around.

Just please don't tell Warden or the others that I'm here! I'm still very scared of them, and when I'm ready, I'll talk to them, but I just needed you to know.

WHAT THE FUCK?! DONT TELL THE PEOPLE WHO I ACTUALLY TRUST AND ARE ABLE TO HANDLE THIS BETTER THAN ME??? YOU SHOULD BE SCARED OF THEM BECAUSE EVERY TIME YOU RETURN THEY KNOW OR I WILL TELL THEM BECAUSE NOBODY, AND I REPEAT, NOBODY, WANTS YOU HERE YOU SICK FUCK!

I'm not a person, and I'll never make a foolish mistake like this again. Also, to clarify about my heart problems, but also apologize while I'm at it. I hurt you, and I never want you to feel a pain like that again. Just know I regret everything. I swear. You don't have to respond, I just needed to get that off of my shoulders, and hopefully off of yours too.

"I'm not a person" this typo is fucking hilarious. You didn't clarify anything about your heart problems in this last paragraph. You hurt everyone. This made the weight on my shoulders worse.

Sorry, the tldr was still really long ;-;

[spacefinch]

Pokemon Incorrect Quotes: Johto Crew edition

Ethan: Kris! Is that a weed?

Kris: No, this is a crayon—

Ethan: I’m calling the police!

911, what’s your emergency?

Morty: TOMORROW IS HALLOWEEN

Falkner: Why are you guys reblogging this in December?

Bugsy: TOMORROW IS HALLOWEEN

Whitney: TOMORROW IS HALLOWEEN

Falkner: It is February, you ANIMALS

Jasmine: TOMORROW IS HALLOWEEN

Bugsy: Would you like something to drink? *opens fridge* We have water, milk, juice, Spinaraks, Dr. Pepper…

Falkner: Spinaraks?

Bugsy: Spinaraks it is, then.

Falkner: Wait, that’s not what I meant—

But they were already pouring him a brimming glass of Spinaraks.

Ethan: Hi, welcome to Applebee's! Would you like Applins or Beedrills?

Falkner: Beedrills?

Bugsy: HE HAS CHOSEN THE BEEDRILLS!

Falkner: Wait, what?

Kris: *filming in selfie mode*

Ethan: (in background) Bop it! Twist it! Pull it!

Ethan, Lyra, Kris, and Silver (gathered around a lettuce): Cabbasu, cabbasu, cab-a-su, LETTASU, LETTASU, LETTASUUUUUU!

Ethan: Really? EVERYBODY was kung fu fighting? I find that hard to believe. Stop feeding me these lies.

Lyra: Well it was really hard to see if it was everyone, you see they were as fast as lightning.

Kris: And to be honest, it was a little bit frightening.

Lance: Tumblr is just talking to yourself but with an audience.

Will: That’s called a soliloquy.

Lance: Found the theater kid. Get em boys.

Karen: Hey OP, how do we know you’re not a theater kid?

Lance: I’M AN ENGLISH LIT MAJOR, YOUR HONOR

Falkner: *pours lemons into cereal bowl*

Falkner: Well, when life gives you lemons…

Silver: If you’re fortunate enough, your internal organs will spend their entire lifespan in absolute darkness.

Ethan: Not if I swallow this glowstick!

Silver: Despicable Me ruined the word minion. Whenever I become a supervillain I’m just going to have to call them my homies or whatever.

Falkner: I swear, the next one of you to say "weird flex, but okay" is going to regret it.

Ethan: …

Kris: … 

Bugsy: …

Morty: Preposterous boast, but alas.

Falkner: *facepalm*

Ethan: Early to bed, early to rise, Burger King burger with Burger King fries

Lyra: Later to rise, later to bed, Burger King burger on Burger King bread

Kris: Eat at morning, eat at night, I participate in a Burger King fight

Silver: I slap my knees, I slap my thighs, tonight is the night that Burger King dies

Bugsy: An Octillery is just a wet Ariados.

Falkner: WHAT HAVE YOU DONE

Ethan: This is my life now. I have climbed this hill and now I will die on it.

Pryce: Stop being so dramatic. We've only been hiking for ten minutes.

Falkner: The opposite of  "the Donphan in the room" is "the Venipede in the room—" something that’s not actually an issue, but everyone is freaking out about.

Janine: As someone who specializes in training Poison-type Pokemon, I can assure you that a "Venipede in the room" is in fact a very big issue.

Janine: If you have knees, you are valid.

Falkner: Homophobes have knees, too.

Janine: Not for long.

Bugsy: *whacks you with my Animal Crossing net* *whacks you with my Animal Crossing net* *whacks you with my Animal Crossing net* *whacks you with my Animal Crossing net* *whacks you with my Animal Crossing net* *whacks you with my Animal Crossing net* *whacks you with my Animal Crossing net* *whacks you with my Animal Crossing net* *whacks you with my Animal Crossing net* 

Silver: Sometimes I'm tired of being nice. One day your femur will be mine.

Silver:

WRONG BLOG WRONG BLOG

Silver: GUYS STOP REBLOGGING THIS

Lyra: Tooth fairies are a smaller and friendlier subspecies of the larger and much more hostile bone fairies.

Ethan: Thank you for this bespoke nightmare.

Silver: Bro forget that, how much money do I get for a femur under my pillow?

Whitney: Someone called country music "farm emo" and I can't stop thinking about it.

Silver: What means “I hate you” in dinosaur?

Lance: No. Dinosaur is the language of love.

Ethan: What are you guys going to be for Halloween?

Falkner: Sad

Clair: Gay

Morty: Sexy

Bugsy: Goblin

Bugsy: Professor Elm asked if I prefer “Miss” or “Mister” (because nb) and I accidentally said “ya boi” without thinking, so now I have a professor that calls me “ya boi Bugsy” every time I see him.

Janine: I almost dropped my Pokedex on my soft carpeted floor but thank Arceus I have lightning fast reflexes and was able to slap it into the wall instead.

Clair: The term girlfriend implies the existence of a girlfoe. That is a service I am willing to provide.

Ethan: Hey did you hear that Joe contracted ligma? They had to do a surgery on his updog.

Pryce: Who’s Joe? What’s ligma? What’s updog?

Ethan: *inhales*

Whitney: Non-binary people don’t owe you androgyny.

Falkner (talking about Bugsy): One does owe me money, though.

Morty: Oh sorry, I fell asleep while I was waiting on you to make me a sandwich!

Falkner: Go back to sleep AND STARVE.

Ethan: I heard my brother [Red] say he was going to Dairy Queen, so I snuck in his car and he has no idea I’m here.

Ethan: He asked his friend what he wanted and I popped up from the floor and said “I was thinking about a milkshake." I have never heard two teenage boys scream louder.

Silver: I am going to make a bucket list.

Ethan:

-bucket

-bucket

-bucket

-bucket

Silver: You are such a fricking moron, do you know that?

Whitney: She was poetry, he couldn't read

Ethan: his name was jarred, he's nineteen

Lyra: When his parents built a very strange machine

Kris: Watch that scene dig in the dancing queen

Bugsy: Ayyyyy macarena

Falkner: Horrible job, everyone

Ethan: Do not stand near the open fire when you have a tube of cocoa butter in your thigh pocket.

Kris: This is so oddly specific. What happened?

Ethan: I am confident in your ability to figure it out from the clues provided.

Ethan: We can’t mansplain manipulate malewife our way out of this.

Silver: Manslaughter it is, then.

Ethan: NO

Ethan: Rules are made to be broken.

Falkner: They were made to be followed. Nothing is made to be broken.

Kris: Uh, piñatas.

Lyra: Glowsticks.

Janine: Karate boards.

Whitney: Eggs.

Bugsy: Spaghetti when you have a small pot.

Silver: Rules.

Falkner: Carpe diem— seize the day

Morty: Carpe noctem— seize the night

Clair: Carpe natem— seize the ass

Lance: Seriously, if you guys don't stop reblogging this, I am going to carpe someone's neck and break it.

Silver: Carpe collum— seize the neck

Ethan: Guys, it actually happens! I saw a documentary about it!

Falkner: Was it a documentary, or was it that movie about the robots we watched at your sleepover, Ethan?

Ethan: It was a documentary!

Ethan, narrating: It was the movie about the robots.

Jasmine: You don’t have to ‘ship’ things… just a reminder.

Ethan: Yeah, you could deliver them inste94q0ugpwsb nglsjki/rrhxbijbvnldkzOLHLNF>O(PJFVD

Jasmine: Poor thing… walked right into an electrical fence while speaking…

(during a Pokemon battle)

Falkner: No, but seriously, blue is a really fun color.

Janine: But your entire room? I’m not painting my entire room blue!

Falkner: Well, then why did you ask my opinion on paint colors if you’re not going to listen?

Morty: Spirits, if you are here, speak to us.

Falkner: JUST A CITY BOY, BORN AND RAISED—

Bugsy: A theif

Falkner: Thief?

Bugsy: Theif

Falkner: I before e, except after c

Bugsy: Thceif

Falkner: No

Lance: Let me see what you have!

Silver: A knife!

Lance: NO!

[maljaws]

Bunch of CobWEB!AM on a whiteboardfox!

Slug Ted while non-canon to the CobWEB AU, he *does*have a redesign to be more of a literal slug, and have a visible spine

Dark blue (& Hate Monument(Not Kris tho!)) - @maljaws Light blue - @nat-yba Purple - @/(no socials) Im looking for everybody else on the screenshots to credit, will update!

[jolikmc-stuff]

Did I ever show these off here? Maybe I did in bits and bobs… Maybe I didn't. I don't remember. In any case, these are a bunch of my characters, in no particular order, from Essence of Ragnarok, an ongoing story that I sometimes add stories to. They're all drawn in the style of Mega Man 7 sprites. That's kind of my thing.

03/18 Edit: I added a little more info. Doesn't help the already-circulating reblog, but eh.

In order, they are:

Carlos Magnus He's a grumpy wolf who doesn't like Joseph. He's highly skilled with alchemy. He later dates and marries Kris.

Joseph Lithius A flirty fox who's unusually lucky in love. He gets around… whether he intends to or not. He creates music professionally.

Kristian Sanders A fox who likes to maintain distance. She can be unapproachable at first, but if she likes you, she'll offer a smile. She teaches Language Arts ("English", basically) at Masamune High.

Hope North An android who's seen it all. Calm and friendly, never swears. Gave up being a nurse to work on cars. Hates her robot body, sometimes.

Professor Marcus A stern man with a dark past. Knows magic and knows it well. Always wears the same outfit with different colors. No one knows if "Marcus" is his first or last name.

"J" A "bunnycoon" with seemingly no name. Always friendly, sometimes cuddly. Completely mute, even when excited. Creature of chaos. Also serves as the mascot for my stuff (as one can see) outside of the story. And yes, she's dressed similarly to a certain Crimson Demon mage on purpose.

Jessica Ingmann (sprite by Jessica U. Ingmann) Bat lady extraordinaire. Likes pretty much everybody. Loves tacos and flirting – both quite shamelessly. Enjoys punching things and teaches boxing in Muramasa City.

These aren't all the characters of my story. Just the ones that have sprites drawn. Incidentally, some of these sprites are quite old and could probably use a redo. I'm not sure the heights are what they should be, for one… (Carlos is 6' 2" while Hope, Marcus, and I thought J were all 5' 3".)

Anyway, yeah. Maybe one day, I'll fix the sprites that need it and do more pixel art of other characters. If you're interested in the characters based on this small glimpse into their personalities, though, there's a whole butt-ton of stories on my literature site.

Cheers, J (but not that one)

[sexysilverstrider]

silver is ideally the sexiest rival to me. he was cold, heartless, ruthless, cruel, and mean when kotone first meets him. he abused his pokemon and forced them to be strong. as his voice is actually deep and husky and its rough when hes angry.

but he then gets better and shows love and trust for his pokemon. his actions are gentler and he gives words of encouragement to them. its still quite harsh but his pokemon knows him so well and they know he truly loves them and they love him.

he also changed with his interaction with people. he was rough and cruel to people before (shoving kotone, mocking kris for falling into a hole in the burned tower, and stealing pokemon) but as he changes so does his way of interacting with people. hes still indifferent n cold to others but he gives word of advices every now and then. and i love how kotone, hibiki, lance, and even green are so used to silvers way and theyre so happy to see him being better and they love him for how he is. even his voice sounds softer and his laughter is sweeter. when he says 'oi oi' in a playful tone i scream. he does scream a lot in battles. hes very passionate.

deisgn wise? those sharp eyes got me in a grip. silver eyes. violer eyes. red eyes. u can have all the colour of the rainbow for your iris baby youre still sexy. his colour scheme? black and red? by GOD those are my favourite colour combo!! his famous smirk? silver rarely has a soft smile. all his smiles are either cocky or dashing. he has a dashing smile. he has a VERY fucking sexy smirk. his long red hair is so silly sometimes but if thats tied to a ponytail im gonna die. he wears that signature jacket but im happy that we as society often depict him wearing a black singlet under it.

and his voice actor? ono yuuki? never in my life would i expect such a deep husky voice for my favourite pokemon character but im so happy it fits. now i see silver i hear silver. he sounds so vibrant when hes passionate in battles. he sounds so playful when hes teasing kotone in the interaction menu. he sounds so adorable when hes pushing for a battle. i love that ono yuuki has voice an otome character with a similar trope as silvers so the immersion is real.

the fact that silver is the heir of team rocket also makes it 100x sexier. he hates his father but the fact that giovanni fucks to make silver exist in this world everybody say thank u gio daddy. in another world silver wouldve been the next rocket boss in that crisp black suit and black fingerless gloves. he would be colder. meaner. more deranged. if they can make kieran insane whats stopping them from appying all thoae traits to an evil rocket boss silver??? im losing it!!

long story short i love silver. sexiest character alive for me and i love him very very very much

[heresathreebee]

Kurt Kunkle | Spree (2020) || Fisting // Love Bites/Marks

No Murder AU; 2.2k words; NO BETA/ SELF- EDITED, Perverted Behavior (extreme), Swearing, Roleplay (Enemies), Name Calling, Exhibitionism, Dysfunctional Family, Your Dad Has A Nickname, Voyeurism, Male Masturbation, Rough Play, Humping, Almost Caught (repeatedly), Slapping/Punching

Previous | Masterlist | Next: Walter McKeys Overstimulation

You are assisting the Kunkles (who are old family friends) as they pack and clean their place up to move from their nice (but now unaffordable) LA house to the apartments closer to where your folks live. There's just one glaring problem that causes constant frustration and distraction for you. Their perverted incel of a son. 

The minute you first walked into their house, Mr. Kunkle– who insisted you call him Kris– called Kurt down from his room and introduced you jokingly as his new babysitter. You hated him from the moment he appeared wearing a hoodie with the hood up in the middle of July (as if the air conditioner isn't busting its ass to maintain a livable temperature against the assault of the Cali sun). And when his mother told you Kurt was an ‘aspiring online influencer,’ you made sure he saw as you rolled your eyes so hard that you almost caught a glimpse of your own gray matter. 

And then you gave him a mild concussion by conveniently forgetting your underwear at home during dinner the next night (the pizza was delicious by the way, you're not sure what the fuck he was doing that required him to have a fork, let alone drop it). Because, yeah, he's the lamest loser on two legs to ever walk this earth. 

And you were totally going to fuck him senseless. 

On Kurt's behalf, he caught on to your game beautifully. In the light of day, you treat him like a nuisance just like everybody else, but when no one’s looking? When heads are turned and doors are closed? It’s a whole different narrative. There are moments when you would stop to watch him masturbate in an empty room with the door cracked open and call him a disgusting little pervert (but only after waiting for him to finish first and keeping an eye out for his parents). 

He rarely did any of the work packing or cleaning. Every day, he is given one task, and it would take him all day to complete it because he was simply using that time to either fuck with you or play videogames. It pissed you off (and made you violently horny). 

You would catch him following you not-so-inconspicuously without offering to lift a finger to help, or positioning himself in every doorway so you would have to forcibly squeeze your way past him (and brush against his obvious boner, and hear him sniff your hair or neck), or just find him laying on the floor for no reason other than to look up your skirt (which you always wore almost every single day, no matter how many times Kris tells you it would probably be safer to help if you just wore jeans). And whenever Kurt was caught or scolded for real by his parents, he would usually find whichever lacey scrap of underwear you had on that day somewhere in his room, still slick with your arousal (as an indirect apology, how sweet of you). 

He never failed to give them back to you, always absolutely covered in his cum. Sometimes they were still wet and he'd say something gross like, "this load's a fresh one," and giggle as you almost lose your temper. The vulgarity, the audacity of it all. You would give as good as you got and reply, "fucking animal, dude. Seriously. I've met dogs with better manners than you." 

The game cooled off when Kris started noticing how Kurt was acting around you. He was becoming increasingly uncomfortable and concerned for your safety (mind you, Dad has no idea about the cum covered panties or the secret watch parties, he just keeps catching Kurt sneaking around when he should be cleaning and hearing you repeatedly telling him off). 

And like any quasi-responsible father would do, Kris tries to protect you (which you don't actually need. Also he's not your father so…). He does this by giving Kurt a task and then standing over his son with his arms crossed until he starts actually doing it. Scrubbing the tile grout in the bathrooms, marking out and replastering holes in the walls, moving furniture for his mother Angela as she goes room to room repainting everything. You almost feel bad for Kurt with his sad but angry puppy dog face and longing, apologetic glances when he sees you walking by. Almost. 

Kris gets bored after a few days (enforcing discipline and teaching boundaries for his 23-year-old son? Utterly exhausting) and goes back to moving boxes to the rental truck and either driving them to storage, the new apartment, or the dump. 

You think you hear Angela talking on speaker phone with some gal pals in the master bedroom, and you quietly head downstairs to switch the laundry to the dryer when a hard body is suddenly crushing you into the washer. 

Kurt's hands are surprisingly soft and devoid of calluses, but they still deliver some sliver of pain as they curl around your forearms and twist your arms behind your back. You gasp as you feel his strong thighs part your legs and groan as he rolls his hips up against your sex. Goosebumps form on your shoulders as you feel him lean down and growl in your ear. 

"Fuuuck," he purrs, and does not stop or slow the sweet assault of friction he creates between your legs. "Been missing your pretty face, babe. I can't even come anymore without you watching me jerk off– it's been days." 

You feel the exact same way and relish how fucking good it is to have him so desparate and needy, rubbing himself between your legs recklessly. It's almost embarrassing when you come just like this, toes curling and panting like a bitch in heat. Kurt doubles down, pushing you harder onto the top of the washer, biting down on your bare shoulder and humping faster and harder. He wants to come so bad, it's kind of adorable. 

You lift your head at the sound of the front door unlocking just as Kurt lets out a pathetic whimper and stills, signalling that he finished inside his shorts. You tense up while he relaxes against your back, oblivious (and inadvertently showing you he's a cuddler). You want to let him rest, but there are a lot of footsteps and voices approaching and the laundry room door is wide open. 

Instead, you slide off the washer and stuff him unceremoniously behind the door just as Kris and his older male friends appear in the hallway. One of them is your fucking dad. 

"Hey!" Your voice actually cracks. 

"Hey yourself," Kris cuffs right back, chirper as hell for a Sunday afternoon. "Lars, you remember I was just telling you that Angie and I had help with the move? This is Cab's daughter!" 

The unknown man pats your shoulder, and your father (whom everyone but your family calls Cab for some ancient unbeknownst to you reason) sweeps you up into a one armed hug with a beer in his other hand. You try to keep your face neutral as he pulls away with a question in his eyes. 

"You ok, sweetheart? You're shaking…" 

You laugh abruptly. "Don't be ridiculous! I probably haven't eaten in… god knows how long. Yeah, that's all…" 

Kris looks at your dad and shrugs. "I'll feed her. Promise. Have you seen Kurt anywhere?" 

"Kurt?" You gulp. "No, not at all. Why, what was he supposed to be doing?" 

"Oh, I can't remember, but I'll give him a call and see if he can bring home some take out." 

Kris deciding Kurt was probably out driving really saved both of your asses when the dumbass behind the door sneezed (and bumped his head on the corner of the frame). All three grown men looked at you for an explanation. 

You smiled like a crazy person. "Excuse me. It's the dust." 

Lars, Kris, and your dad seem to buy it and begin to gruffle about making their way down the hall to the man cave, but you celebrate your victory a little too early by wiping the sweat off your neck and accidentally drawing attention. 

“Oh my god, what’s that?” Immediately you stiffen as Kris points to your shoulder, even making you turn a little bit sideways for the other men to crowd a look. Ice drips down your spine as you face the wall opposite where Kurt is hiding behind the door. 

“What?! What is it?” 

Kris’ light touch makes you shiver again. “It looks like… teeth marks?” He pauses to confer and the other men agree. “Oh my god, how did that happen? Who did this to you?” 

Instantly, you know this is Kurt’s fault (you are so going to kick him in the dick and this time it’s going to be on purpose). Kris is going to know it was him, and then he’s going to blame Kurt and tell your father who’s standing right there, and then the dads are going to start screaming and yelling and you’ll be forced to go home and never see each other again, all over a fucking (consensual) bite mark. 

You turn around determinedly and can already see Kris’ face begin to pinch in contemplation. You can’t let this happen. 

“Teeth marks,” you feign ignorance just to buy a little more time. You reach back, rub it, make distracting noises of contemplation and screwing your face up this way and that all while four men (yes counting Kurt, the absolute useless mongrel) wait with baited breath. “OH! Oh my gosh, I know what happened! You guys are totally gonna laugh!” 

Well? Go on. The stage is yours and everybody is watching. Make them laugh, funny girl. 

“It was my… cousin!” You hide your panic behind a painfully wide smile. “Baby cousin! Not like, like a big one. D-dad you remember Elia!” 

Your dad pitches his head 10 degrees to the right. “Elia bit you?”

“What? No. Elia’s baby– the toddler!- she bit me. I mean HE, HE bit me! Cassius. His first set of teeth just came in a-and we were sitting on the floor, uh shooting the shit when he just kinda came up and… bit me.” 

You cleared your throat to cover the sound of Kurt choking on his spit. “I think he was, like, teething…”

Three silver haired heads nodded incongruously with one another. If the strength of the grip you had on the doorknob was applied to Kurt’s neck, you would have surely snapped his spine, or at least caused irreversible damage to it. Freedom from this hell is almost at hand, but of course your clueless father has some more questions. 

“I thought Elia was in Balta this summer?” 

“Don’t be silly,” you grind your teeth and maintain a manic smile, “Jack’s in Balta by himself. How the hell are two new parents gonna have fun with a toddler in tow?” 

Blah blah blah, you are lying (duh) and your dad has no idea about anyone or anything– if it doesn’t immediately concern baseball or the hall of fame, he simply does not know. 

“OK,” he shrugs. “Come on, Kris, show us where the goddamned Jack is and we’ll pour one out, for old times sake.” 

Lars chugged his can of beer and loudly burped his agreement before the two of them made their own way down the hall. Kris, however, lingered a moment longer. He had no reason to think you were lying… did he? You hold the door and pray Kurt holds his tongue for just a little longer…

“Are you sure you haven’t seen Kurt around?” Kris leaned on the door, unknowingly squishing his son who makes a muffled sound but holds as still as possible and hopes his dad doesn’t notice it isn’t touching the wall. “You know, if he’s still bothering you, you can tell me and I’ll kick his ass right out the door.” 

You calm yourself with a deep breath. “I’m fine, Kris, really! Kurt’s probably out streaming his rides or getting a speeding ticket right about now. And if I ever feel like he is bothering me, I will kick his ass myself.” 

Kris chuckles (and doesn’t notice the door tremble). “So, you are absolutely sure you’re ok? He’s not been, you know… making any advances on you, of a sexual nature?” 

Oh, if only you knew…

“‘Cause you know how kids his age are… guys mostly…” 

Yeah, mostly…

“I’m fine. Seriously. Got bit by a toddler. Haven’t seen Kurt since I left home last night.” 

Finally, Kris drops it. “Ok, just let me know. I’ll keep you safe, I promise.” With that, he pats you on the head and disappears. 

You try to stop yourself from fainting with some circular breathing exercises. Then you punch Kurt square in the chest as he’s slipping out of hiding. He oofs, doubles over and looks up at you in disbelief. You shove an accusatory finger under his nose and waggle it threateningly. 

“Never. Again. Do you hear me?” Kurt nods furiously, so fast the image of you blurs for him and he looks genuinely sheepish. “You are a sick little dog who doesn’t understand any command except come, and the next time you get me in trouble like that, you will be your fucking last breath. Capiche, pervert?” 

Kurt knows that language means he’s not really in trouble, and he smiles. “Yes ma’am…”

Previous | Masterlist | Next: Walter McKeys Overstimulation

I really almost forgot to post this one today 😂 this ones for my absolute sickos out there

[bigshot]

empatheorem event info

physical~

Being Spamton feels Wrong, more like you're puppeting a hollow vessel rather than inhabiting it.

Spamton is, essentially, a ball-jointed marionette puppet. He feels like he's made of plastic and is more durable than most people. His sense of touch is somewhat dulled and his pain tolerance is high. Speaking of...

Anyone hitchhiking in his body will experience the same chronic pain he deals with daily. What kind of pain? All Of It. [[Discomfort And Abdominal Pain]] in his [[Guts]], mostly. He's used to it, but maybe you won't be. It's bad and nothing helps. :)

He can see very well in the dark but I wouldn't recommend taking off his shades in the sun or brightly lit areas unless you're looking for a headache.

You better be ready to eat all your food whole or else you're going to make some serious messes. But!! At least you can eat (almost) everything!

mannerisms~

Spamton gives off sleazy car salesman vibes and lives for dealmaking. He may or may not also get some sense of fulfillment out of helping others.

He loves himself! He hates himself. He think's he's hot shit!! He thinks he's a disgusting little ball of slime. He wants to rule the world!!! He wants to go back to bed. He loves people!!!! Everybody is out to get him.

At heart, he's wholly disgusted with himself and can barely stand looking in the mirror. He'll also sell you a vape shaped like himself.

Tends to blurt his thoughts out loud, whether he wants to or not, and his [[Voice Glitches]] can really mess up whatever he's trying to say with double meanings.

Very prone to wild mood swings and bouts of confusion, especially when stressed. He might forget where he is for a few seconds or go off on non-sequitur tangents. Lashing out is something he does, as well.

Severe Anxiety, he's always on high alert

memories~

All of Spamton's Isola and canon memories are up for grabs! Fun memories of note are.......

Having skin

Being evicted from his home!

Experiencing homelessness for 20+ years!

Being abandoned by everyone he knew!

Betraying Kris and becoming NEO!

Being beaten by Kris and giving up his physical form!

Being killed by Brad!! Twice!!!

And many more!!

powers~

Can summon up to five Minitons (little copies of himself) a day, they disappear after a while and only listen to orders 60% of the time. They can't speak.

Can fire word bullets up to four times per day Head Expansion five times per day with each lasting up to five minutes at most.

Money Vacuum up to five times daily that can last up to thirty seconds each.

that's it that's the post I went on for too long and I don't care hmu if you wanna be a [[BIG SHOT]], I can share my icons