#everybody ships bughead

[comicsbughead]

This was taken from the now-defunct 'Ask the Archivist' column of the old @archiecomics website (in 2007)! Said archivist is believed to have been Mr. Paul Castiglia (TBC).

I quite like what Mr. Archivist had to say in the last paragraph about Betty being the best mate for Jughead and about Jughead and Betty being a great match!

Big thanks to @/Dollihaze on Instagram for this amazing find! And paging @bughead-in-the-comics 😉

Source: http://web.archive.org/web/20071020232553/http://archiecomics.com/acpaco/askthearchivist/ask_jughead.html

[dayscrazed]

Everybody Talks Parody--- “Everybody Ships”

Hey fandom with a brand new ship

You became my new addiction

Hey tumblr has a lot of tips

All its giving me is fan-fiction

I'm a fangirl sucker and this happens all the time

I found out that everybody reads

Everybody writes, everybody talks

It started with a fanart

And that was when I fell apart

And a gifset made it hurt my heart

I could read the page chat

It took me to the ship’s tag

Mama’s gonna scroll and be trash

Since everybody ships slash

Hey babies you are now my drug

Reading fics is my new prescription

Too much could be an overdose

All this trash talk keeps me bitchin’

Oh my my

Everybody yells, everybody shrieks

Everybody talks, too much

It started with a coda

And that was when I was in awe

Of all the headcannons I saw

I could read the fluff chat

Take me to the love tag

Mamas always gonna binge-crash

When everybody writes slash

Never thought I'd logon

Everyday

But everybody's words make ships sail away

OTP show me all the love

Even if only in fanfiction

Hey fandom, what’re we gonna say?

“It started with a whisper

And that was when they kissed,” sure

And then they made our feels hurt

We can read the fic’s chat

Take me to the ship tag

Tumblr’s always gonna call us trash

When everybody ships slash

Everybody talks, everybody talks

Everybody talks, everybody talks

Everybody talks, everybody ships slash

“It started with a whisper

And that was when they kissed” for sure

Everybody talks, everybody ships slash

[shurawerewolf]

Looking through my old screenshots I came across this old 2018 tweet of a Barchie fan

Bare in mind, this is 2018. Around season 2, more or less.

Not to mention the COUNTLESS asks in the ask boxes of my fellow Bughead blogs here on Tumblr, such as @edgarsabandonedrocketship @stillhidden @i-know-you-can @middleagedresidentofriverdale @bugheadsfangirl and many others that promised us that "ratings and viewers will skyrocket with Barchie".

Mh.

So.

Let's look at the numbers, shall we?

These are the ratings and viewers during the Bughead/Varchie era:

Season 1

Remember that the season was the first one, so nobody knew what the show was or what was the mood or anything. Keeping this in mind, it still did pretty good.

Season 2

This season was objectively the best one, stable at 1 million viewers average, with minor downsides.

Season 3

Objectively this season is the most irregular one, but still did pretty good considering the madness of it, keeping the show between 1 million and 800k viewers (with minor downsides, again).

Season 4

Here too we can see that the decline was relatively normal, if not for two episodes: 4x12 which was a Katy Keen crossover episode (which, spoiler, nobody gave two shits) and the infamous 4x17 which lost 110k viewers in one week (plus the trama was leaked so everybody knew and didn't bother to watch). But everybody definitely hated the Barchie kiss (go check the reviews if you don't believe me. Plus it was another stupid musical so... draw your conclusions)

Season 5

Now... I guess there's no need to describe what you're seeing here right? The show declined again, yes. But in the span of one season it lost 45% of it's viewers. Just look from season 4 première to season 5 première. And remember that 5x04 can be considered another "première", because it was first episode after the time jump, but again the show started hemorraging viewers. With barely more than 300k viewers watching the infamous finale.

Season 6

And now. The famous season 6. The supernatural season. We're again seeing another huge decline. Another 45% decline in viewers. The second in the span of 2 years. That should tell you something. Not to mention that, this time, for the first time, the season finale is the less viewed episode. I wonder if the (already) trifling audience got spoilers beforehand. Mmmm 🤔

So... To summarize. Since Barchie happened, the views and the viewers dropped by 45% two times in two years and now the show that made roughly 1/2 million viewers now can't barely go over 200k anymore.

Thus I wonder... where's the horde of Barchie fans that was promised and who would have saved Riverdale? Where's the "increased ratings" that Barchie fans anticipated back in 2018. I can't see them. Quite the opposite, in fact.

The ship that was thought would have saved Riverdale actually sinked the show.

As my old friend Jughead would say

[thatiranianphantom]

I definitely think BA will break up soon and my theory is next episode the baby won’t happen – that’ll be the first crack cause it seems the only thing defining their relationship right now it’s the commitment of a possible baby and nothing more. They will be "together" for a few more episodes with not interaction until we get a very definitive break up kind of like the BA 508 conversation, boring, but I feel it’s needed to close that chapter (as they should have on season 5 but anyways). JT is coming after BA. I think their relationship is pretty bland and I actually think it will go out without much drama. I can see Tabitha acknowledging their relationship does not move forward in the future so they are better as friends but she cares for him and all that, a decent and friendly break up before she has to save everybody. I don’t think the writers will involve other party into the break up discussion (I can only see it happening if the memories of Vale come back and need to be discussed) but I doubt the writers will do romantic approximations between BH without those couples being out of the way first. I think the musical episode (it could be 617) is crucial and either break up will for sure happen around that episode.

Pretty much, anon. I'm about 90% sure the baby thing won't happen, but whether or not they break up next episode is a toss up for me - I could see them in the episode having Betty realize she doesn't want kids now and it being a pretty immediate situation of "okay we want different things this doesn't work". I could also see them using Betty not wanting kids as a widening crack, where they perfunctorily keep BA together for 2-3 more episodes while having them spend time with their exes and widen that crack between them, until they eventually have a 508 like moment where they again reiterate that they want different things.

Also, throw in there Archie being 'vale Archie and perhaps being a little less than kind. Not that he hasn't been ze worst recently. As for the timeline, definitely agree that the musical will be a significant moment, and that JT will likely split after BA, especially if Bughead are spending more and more time together. I feel like there is a good chance the 'vale ships are done before the musical, but I'm very much not expecting much before the musical. Maybe the breakups, but no significant BH. I also don't expect much at all of 614's BH scenes.

But as we come to maybe 18-22, that's when I expect the most BH growth.

Good to know I'm not alone in thinking Tabitha goes out with a heroic sacrifice!

[raymondebidochonlifechoices]

All fans are equal but some are more equal than others. NOT.

There’s been quite a few people in the fandom lately getting very stressed, feeling they’re obligated to constantly be on the defensive re: their fandom choices.

Apparently, whoever has a different opinion about a character or a ship must be said character’s/ship’s stan i.e. overzealous and/or obsessive, i.e. not an objective viewer. Even worse, they must be a dreadful person, who condones a number of moral offences that said character/ship perpetrated (or is thought to have perpetrated). Because, of course, the only acceptable reason for appreciating/enjoying a fictional character or dynamic is their morality. And, by that reasoning, fans who support the correct character/ship must be better fans and better people.

Nothing is more ridiculous than the notion of the objective fan. An “objective” fan is called a “viewer”. You and I, Riverdale friends, we are not just viewers. Otherwise, we wouldn’t have created blogs and dedicated hours of our lives to a fictional couple from an extremely mediocre show. We are still undoubtedly capable of critical thought and objective analysis but we are also aware of our own emotional investment in the show. (Or, at least, one hopes). As a fandom, we engage in activities that exist independently of the show. Fandom is a space of free expression. No one gets to play the higher moral card here. Needing to loudly tell everybody how wrong they are? That’s not the sign of an objective viewer. That’s the sign of a viewer who is also extremely invested, just for different reasons than I am.

Are we seriously holding the morality card over people’s heads for a show that used a poc woman’s pregnancy (Toni) as the means to retroactively establish trauma for a white male (Kevin), all the while touting it in every media possible as a woke response to the BLM movement?!

Are we seriously holding the canon card over people’s heads for a show that treats its 5th(!) season as a tabula rasa?! If the Lodges new backstory in 5x12 shows anything, it’s that s5 is not a time-jump. It’s a reboot.

There are so many people “enlightening” others on their inability to understand canon …

Seriously? That’s the hill you’re willing to die on? Canon Riverdale? You think that people don’t understand what they’re watching? That they’re interpreting canon incorrectly?

No, but seriously: canon for a TV show consists of what the characters say, what the characters do and how the actors portray them. Does this really apply to Riverdale?

Let’s take Donna for example.

Canon explicitly tells us Donna did what she did to avenge her grandmother. At the same time none of her canon actions were against the people who were actually responsible. So, riddle me this, fandom friends: why did Donna do what she did, as per canon?

Let’s try this another way:

Donna is a psycho bitch. Both in terms of Riverdale’s canon (the writers’ intention) and real-life criteria. To create a tag that reads “Bonna for ever uwu!” is deranged.

On the other hand, her character is (like a lot of Riverdale’s characters) an inconsistent caricature. Canon uses ridiculous dialogue and a lot of the Bonna scenes are cartoonishly enemies-to-lovers tropey. To create a tag that reads “Bonna for ever uwu!” is hilarious.

This doesn’t mean that Bonna is a canon couple. It does mean, however, that a Bonna crackship is based on Riverdale’s campy and over-the-top canonic writing.

A viewer who thinks Bonna is disgusting is not more “objective” or more “correct” or more “true to canon” than a viewer who thinks Bonna is funny. Nor are they a better person for it, and this cannot be stressed enough.

Similarly, who is canon Cheryl?

1. Cheryl is an absolute bitch: if a privileged student was calling an actual homeless boy a hobo in your real-life school, you would neither think her a queen nor use “hobo” affectionately in your tags, comments etc.

2. Cheryl is a deeply traumatized person: her father killed her brother, her mother killed half the town and forced her in conversion therapy, she attempted suicide and more.

(Note #1: this more does not mean more than the other Riverdale characters).

(Note #2: nor is it an excuse for her rudeness, affectionately called “mood for chaos” by the writers).

3. Cheryl is also a caricature of the archetypal mean girl who’s there for laughs and meta comments. She’s not to be taken seriously.

4. Cheryl is lgbtq+ representation …

5. … who canonically shits on other lgbtq+ characters.

6. Cheryl is one half of Choni, who are canonically presented as an uber couple.

7. Choni is also, as per canon, a couple with an acute power imbalance (cough!gaslighting!cough) that visually very clearly panders to the male gaze.

But most importantly:

8. Cheryl canonically is not the sum of her parts. The different facets of her character do not intermingle in any meaningful way.

Was Betty kissing Archie specifically a sore spot for Jughead?

Canonically no [2x14]. But, also, canonically yes [5x03, 5x10].

Are there seriously fans that are astonished that Betty is making some highly questionable choices while investigating?! Did they just discover Dark™Betty/Killer Genes Betty? That is canon Betty! Was it ok before because she was then smooching Jughead instead of giving him the cold shoulder? Honestly, the only newly outrageous part of s5Dark™Betty is the fact that she still believes in “killer genes” despite having spent 4 years at Yale …

As for liking/disliking Betty and morality …

Look, I’m going to be very honest: I am NOT particularly enjoying s5 Betty. And it’s not because of b*rchie.

S5 Betty has 99 problems but the sexcapades ain’t one.

For me, it’s the fact that she’s turned into s1 Alice 2.0. But surely that’s not news either? Ever since the first info about the time jump, everyone and their mother have been speculating about the teens becoming their parents …

Just because Jughead is better written (and written to be more likable), it doesn’t make him more worthy of redemption. Just because the writers are keeping Betty’s redemption “secret” (insert eye roll) for their big reveal in the season’s penultimate episode, it doesn’t mean she won’t have one.  

Simply put, the writers have made Jughead more likable. He’s still the underdog. He’s the only character in Riverdale actively trying to deal with his trauma, since the very first post-time jump episode (working at Pop’s explicitly to fend off the debt collectors). He has scenes with a new and extremely likable character (Tabitha). He has the only new plot line (the Mothman). Said plotline is narratively already tied to both his unknown past and the town’s destruction by Hiram. His behaviour is explicitly explained, even as his recent trauma remains unknown. He’s transparent.

In comparison, s5 Betty is traumatized but not the underdog. Her trauma (TBK killer) is both known to us and a repetition of previous storylines, which makes it narratively less exciting. She is completely disconnected from any other storylines. She comes out as being judgmental and self-interested: telling Tabitha Jughead’s not her business while previously accepting his help? Berating Polly for lying while not keeping in touch and lying about her own life (TBK)? Please note: I’m not saying there isn’t a reason behind her behaviour, just that it comes out in a negative way.

You don’t like Betty’s current behaviour? You don’t consider trauma a good enough excuse? Cool.

You feel sorry for what she’s going through? You consider trauma to be a valid explanation for her behaviour? Also cool.

Personally, I don’t give a flying fig, either for Betty’s trauma or Jughead’s. Because, even though Trauma™ is s5’s actual mystery plot, narratively speaking, trauma never affected the plot of the past 4 seasons, nor s5 trauma will affect future plots, once revealed. And you know what? That is also cool.

None of the above is better.

And just because I’m not enjoying Betty right now, it doesn’t mean that I don’t want her to overcome her current situation or that I won’t cheer for Bughead like a River Vixen on fizzle rocks, once they reunite.

This thing though, where people are made to feel as if they owed anyone in the fandom an explanation about why they like the things they like, because, somehow, their preferences are a reflection on their character or their cognitive abilities to read a TV show? This is a joke.

There is no “wrong” way to consume any show, let alone Riverdale, with its fractured format, its short-term memory and its see-sawing characters.

Look, everybody’s here for their own reasons. For most people this is a place of escape. No one’s escaping better than the other, because of how they enjoy their teen TV show ... 

[i-know-you-can]

No but seriously how Archie who was the least favorite character, everybody made fun of him for being dumb ended up being part of the most popular ship now? How did Brchie became more popular than Bughead that's one mystery to me

It didn't. Mystery solved.

[stellaseveridee]

hi everyone! for those of y’all who write on ao3, can i ask a favor?

if you’re writing a fic and there’s a mention of another ship (for example, if it’s a bughead fic and betty mentions she used to date archie) you don’t need to tag the mentioned ship in the relationship tags.

it’s extremely frustrating when you’re looking for a new fic to read and the tag of your ship is full of fics that are not your ship. if it’s a varchie fic, and barchie is mentioned, you don’t need to tag barchie, if it’s a cheronica fic and varchie is mentioned, you don’t need to tag varchie. even if you tag character/character (mentioned), it will still show up in the character/character main tag.

what you can do, to warn people, is to tag mentions of character/character in the additional tags. then, everybody’s tag can stay clean.

it’s very frustrating as a varchie bc our tag is already filled with 80% bughead (which is fine ofc, if it’s a bughead fic with varchie in, then varchie should be tagged) so please try to keep your tags appropriate for the fic (which i try to do, and i know all the varchie writers do too). i’m sure the barchie’s, the choni’s, the bughead’s, the other varchie’s, etc feel the same.

much love 😚

[jandjsalmon]

FICS I’VE READ THIS WEEK (51)

Hello everybody!! It’s been a week. I hope you all had a wonderful long weekend (if you celebrate and were able to take some days off and eat some chocolate). I went back into the office on Tuesday morning (for the first time in ages) and unknowingly came in contact with someone who has now tested positive. So I’m off to get my Covid test this afternoon. I feel fine - but still - mandatory quarantining isn’t a good time. I was the last member of my family that hadn’t been tested this year (my husband’s been tested three times) - so I guess it was my turn. Alas.

I can’t believe I’m coming up on one year of doing these run-downs. Next week I’ll gather stats for what I’ve been reading and new ships I’ve been introduced to etc. Not for any other reason but for my own interest. That’s really what this has been all about anyway. If anyone has found new stories to read or any level of enjoyment from these lists, I’m so glad. I’ve loved getting replies from people saying they found a new story they’d never found before. And I’ve really appreciated people sending me messages and asks with suggestions of what to read. I am really grateful for all of you. This is an amazing community.

I hope you all stay healthy and stay safe. 😘

Here is my reading list for the week of April 02-April 8th

Weeks 1- 50 (3542 chapters)

Week 51 (38 chapters)

---

BUGHEAD - 13

The Detective by @darknessaroundus (1/1)

make it new by @sullypants (chapter 2)

Steady Habits by @thepointoftheneedle (1/1) *I read this one three times this week - but I am only counting it once. It’s wonderful*

i hallucinate when you call my name by @blissfulbughead (1/1)

tomorrow was made for us by @winterlovesong1 (1/1)

The Office - Bughead by @heytherejulietx (1/1)

The Island by @likemereckless (chapter 13)

The Tides that Change by @loveandcoffeeandsimplicities (chapters 1 & 2)

Regrets Collect like Bullet Shells by @loveandcoffeeandsimplicities (chapters 26-28)

Let's Talk About Biology by Tru_tru (chapter 2)

---

Bughead Rereads - 2

The Three Musketeers by @darknessaroundus (2/2)

---

MISCELLANEOUS - 15

So we can go back and play pretend by @pichitinha (Peter/LJ - 1/1)

Blink back to let me know by @pichitinha (Peter/LJ - 1/1)

Anniversary by @fiveyaaas (Five/Vanya - 1/1)

The breeding program by Chevalier_Barthelemy (Five/Vanya - chapter 10)

In Through An Out Door by @djgrannyglasses (Hyde/Jackie - chapter 2)

i kill giants by @kylorenvevo (Ben/Rey - chapter 21)

you play stupid games, you win stupid prizes by @livinginrhythm (Harry/Allie - 1/1)

Everything is Better, Part Six by @celerylapel (Jeff/Annie - chapter 18)

Something Worth Celebrating by @semperlitluv (Theon/Sansa - chapter 5)

Bruce and Maisel by @allthyheart (Lenny/Miriam - chapter 15)

Counterplay by @alexandra-emerson (Draco/Ginny - chapters 21-24)

what you ignore is priceless to me by bluestoplights (Veronica/Logan - 1/1)

---

Misc. Rereads - 8

hold my breath and i'll count to ten by @livinginrhythm (Harry/Allie - 1/1)

no porch light on to pull me home by @livinginrhythm (Harry/Allie - 1/1)

By The Coast When I Held Your Hand by @livinginrhythm (Harry/Allie - 1/1)

Words Are Too Hard To Keep On Their Own by @livinginrhythm (Harry/Allie - 1/1)

you're one of the few things that i'm sure of by @livinginrhythm (Harry/Allie - 1/1)

and i want you to unravel me by @livinginrhythm (Harry/Allie - 1/1)

before the sun pushes out the night by @livinginrhythm (Harry/Allie - 1/1)

take a match right to your heart by @livinginrhythm (Harry/Allie - 1/1)

[zumpietoo]

Yeah, I mean look before this season Aries I had wishful hoped they would have Bughead reunite, but I also thought Betty would realize she cheated and treated Jughead like crap, instead what we got was Betty being more of a bitch and instead of realizing she cheated and broke his heart we got a “I’ve wanted to have sex with you since high school” to Archie. That happened Betty stans. She was dating Jughead in high school and yet she wanted to screw Archie during that time?

Exactly----and, gross as it is to admit this:

Turns out Barfie DID have its own gross, disgusting, sleazy "build up" after all.....as Jughead/then BH stans, we just didn't entirely want to see it, because it meant we were, in fact, shipping Jughead with an icky bitch who didn't appreciate him and, deep inside, WAS vastly moar interested in being a power couple with a (very) dumb jock, even if it was as his second choice/sidepiece.

And it turns out, Jughead deserved better all along, so it's nice to see him getting that finally....

The show's had plenty of opportunity for Slizzy to recognize what she did and is and be better, but it chooses to NOT have her do so.....also tells me everything we need to know here and the direction it's headed.

It's weird to me, as well, that we now get (as a way of continuing to ignore canon) "you think it's gonna last???? Everybody's a 'placeholder'!!!"----except, again, it's a teevee show and regardless, doesn't change what's currently canon.

Plus, again, given how bad things are between Cole and Lili these days (and how PP keeps making shit worse), I truly wouldn't rule out that BH never ARE reconciled/at the last second, offscreen, etc.....

Oh or....by split screen. Which would be even moar hilarious.

In any event, they can endlessly insist their version is true, blah, blah, blah, no chemistry for Jabi, blah, blah, blah Jug's a fatty loser, etc....but it A) won't be true and B) won't change canon.

In the end, they're perhaps 20 bitter fangurls (yes, Locky's there, too) screaming into the void with impotent rage over having not gotten their way.

I await their next "strategic move"/announcement: how they now "feel sorry" for us, cause THEY have fanfic to indulge in

[thestaredown]

how about YOU calm the fuck down and making bitchy PSAs that nobody asked for and stop trying to control reactions others might or might not have. Y’all love criticizing the show show all year long without caring how your constant negative, entitled whining might affect others - but the second you’re offered some kind of crumb/ content, you think that everybody should "be positive" and not taint the enjoyment of others/ take away hope. I hope you’re aware how deeply hypocritical you are. And ridiculous for still thinking it's an AU/ Multiverse.

Welcome second anon ever!

First off I am very calm, and wasn’t being particularly bitchy, but I suppose that is open to interpretation. Asking that people to try to enjoy themselves is not trying to control reactions, at most its advice that doesn’t need to be taken, you do you.

This got long so its under the cut.

Trust that one thing I’m not about this show is positive, my expectations are on the floor, and ships aren’t even the biggest part of that. I also always tag accordingly (this was under riverdale negativity I believe) and personally I’m not prone to spreading negativity at all.

Any show is going to receive criticism, it’s part of the nature of television, it’s also part of fandom discussion good or bad. I myself felt like the show missed lots of opportunities last year and the season didn’t do too much where it could have done a lot narratively.

It’s not a shocker that bugheads miss bughead. Trust that most of us don’t expect them back any time soon and some don’t expect them back at all. This show will do what it wants. There are going to be bad eggs in any part of the fandom that color our views of the whole group and that sucks.

To be fair I don’t think everyone should “be positive”, be negative if you want, hate the story line, bash the character, it’s your feeling on the matter, this is your corner of the internet.

My enjoyment from the split second of promo came from seeing content I’ve wanted for the first time in a while and I said nothing about taking away “hope” or “tainting enjoyment” simply that we should all try enjoying what we do get because for once lots of parts of the fandom may have something in the works.

Also, the episodes have been called au by the cast and tiptoed around by writers who seem allergic to the phrase.

The point is, this is Rivervale not Riverdale, and we still don’t know how much is going to bleed through, so AU is a catch all for “not where we normally are.”

I don’t tend to whine on my page so I feel like that is more a blanket response (I only know what I and those I follow post) nor do I seek out negativity any more than I put it out.

My point was that for once we will all have something we like in an episode, will it hold or make sense? Who knows, but it’s something,  and I for one would rather enjoy it than hate on what I don’t like.

Having only been active in this fandom for a bit over a year I will say while I’m sure some fans feel entitled I don’t think we’re owed anything but a good story, which the show hasn’t delivered.

That’s also an interesting word to use because my follow up post was partly my own reaction about some of the entitled behavior I’ve seen in this fandom. And to be perfectly clear the behavior seen is not something I endorse no matter what people ship, bad form is bad form, period.

I will be here minding my own and sometimes being exasperated at how this fandom as a whole reacts and over reacts. I will enjoy my content and leave others alone while they enjoy theirs.

And yes sometimes there will be ranting, criticism, theories and fandom discourse. That’s simply part of fandom and it can be enjoyable if everyone gets that our opinions will not always match up.

Much of the Riverdale fandom doesn't get that, so there is no peace after any news.

I can’t be the only one that would like a break from that to simply enjoy things, before the show goes back to its regularly scheduled nonsense.

Thanks for stopping by.

[mrsreinhart]

Y'all bugheads are so fucking ungrateful, took up most of the trailer and STILL complaining about the time jump.FUCK OFF

Man bughead has got nothing to do with my interest in the time jump so how does me asking about it make me ungrateful? I’m pretty sure -ships aside- that everybody wanted to see at least a clip from the time jump, why are you taking your anger out on me I’ve done nothing wrong here?

[staliasjeronica]

I take it you hate the Reggie and sweet pea ship like they're a couple

Huh??? I don’t necessarily ship them, but that’s mostly because I’m too caught up on my hc of them being step brothers… literally the only ship I absolutely cannot stand on Riverdale is Bughead (and the gross ones that I don’t count because they’re fucked up like the teens with the adults and such)

But I also don’t get why you’re asking me this as if I am like… an influential person who’s opinion matters because if I was like someone involved with Riverdale I’d be petitioning for literally any new dynamic for everybody.

Maybe I can try to write a sweet pea x reggie romantic fic or drabble if you want me to but??? idk what else you want me to do like asdfghjkl;

[raymondebidochonlifechoices]

If only these writers spent half the time they dedicate to “promo” to actually write a compelling story …

The bottom line is the Riverdale writing room had nothing for season 5. 

No plot.

No rhythm in terms of the narrative (every time something gains traction it gets interrupted).

No popular ships (which were the main attraction of this show).

No continuity (whole narratives -cough!Hiram!cough!- being rewritten).

Someone probably read a fan’s post going “omg! let them have therapy!” and took this to mean “let’s focus a season into an element of the narrative (i.e. trauma) that never mattered before and won’t matter ever again”.

We got everybody’s (Veronica, unfortunately, seems to not count) trauma all crowded up in one single episode! After 70% of the season was over! We already know when they’ll finally deal with it too: the denouement always happens in the penultimate episode.

Since there is no actual plot this season, the only way to generate engagement is by playing the will they/won’t they shipping game.

Most of the audience are Bughead enthusiasts. It is our investment that the show seeks by jerking us around. 

Lacking original interesting storylines that would allow Bughead to be together, the writers keep teasing “new” ships both to fill the time and in the hope that we will keep coming back for a happy ending. Because it’s all about the Endgame™ (except it isn’t -it’s also about the journey getting there ... but whatever ...)

Please, please, do not stress yourselves with the whole interviews / emojis / whatever social media shebang. These interviews are there to do what the actual writing fails to accomplish: get attention. 

They are as badly done as the writing. With similar (negative) results.

[diazpoems]

Me watching Riverdale S2:

THE WAY KEVIN IS RAISING HIS HAND TO THE MOTHERFUCKING SKY WHEN HIRAM ASKS FOR A VOLUNTEER FOR A WRESTLING DEMONSTRATION. THIS THIRSTY MOTHERFUCKER. HIS FACE IS PRICELESS.

I wish I could just jump into Riverdale and shake the characters and be like

Cheryl: Your parents fucking suck

Josie: Your parents fucking suck

Veronica: Your parents fucking suck

Betty: Your parents fucking suck

Archie: Your dads okay so far, I don’t know about your mom

Jughead: Your dad used to fucking suck but as a person, at his core, I don’t think he’s evil, and he’s getting better, but he’s got a ways to learn. I don’t know about your mom

Kevin: Your dad’s decent so far? Don’t know about your mom

Like especially Josie because I know it’s hard and that a lot of the trauma her mom felt probably manifested itself badly and Josie probably feels attached to her mom and like she owes her being a good daughter because her mom’s had it bad but like I also DON’T CARE. FUCKING TREAT YOUR CHILD RIGHT. I DON’T GIVE A SHIT WHAT HAPPENED. THATS YOUR CHILD. WOMAN UP AND BE A FUCKING DECENT PERSON. I DON’T CARE THAT YOU PUT A ROOF OVER HER HEAD, FOOD IN HER MOUTH, GAVE HER A SINGING CAREER (But continue to control it and not give her leeway to think and act on her own). SHE DON’T OWE YOU SHIT. FUCK OFF WITH YOUR WEIRD LIFE-FUCKING-SUCKED-FOR-ME-BUT-IM-ALSO-A-CLASSIST-BITCH PARADOX. MY DAD’S GOT IT MADE RIGHT NOW BUT HE HASN’T FORGOTTEN HIS ROOTS, HASN’T FORGOTTEN THE DISCRIMINATION HE FACED AND THE FACT THAT HE GREW UP SHIT POOR EARLY ON AND HE HASN’T DECIDED “Hey, let’s ridicule people for being in a similar position that I was in!”

Basically, this is me begging for for Josie’s mom to ✨fucking do better✨

Anyways yeah normalize Riverdale characters disowning their own parents ✌🏽🥰

Hmmm. If I wasn’t completely and utterly for the Serpents before, the white serpents learning to shut the fuck up and stand with Toni and her grandfather in opposition of the genocide and colonialism that was perpetrated by Cheryl’s great great grandfather? Hell fucking yeah

Dude I’m sorta crying at the scene with Hiram seeing Veronica in her confirmation dress because he’s a piece of shit but this is how it goes down, like it’s a whole thing

I love that I immediately knew the meaning of “Catholic chic”. Apparently that’s all going to church every Sunday for the formative years of my life accomplished

I hope Penelope Blossom dies in a fire :)

OH MY GOD, LOVE SIMON CAME OUT RIGHT AROUND HERE, KEVIN IS ASKING MOOSE TO IT, MY COMFORT MOVIE OH MY GOD-

Ugh, I don’t trust Midge. Something about the tropey-ness of her being The Girlfriend™️ and her face, as well as the fact that she played Gen in tatbilb, something doesn’t sit right. The haircut feels too manic pixie, like she’s hiding something. Bad vibes

NOOO CHERYL ILL GO ON A VACATION WITH YOU 😭 GOD IM SO GONE FOR HER

Aaaaand she did some fuck shit. Aaaand Toni is pretty. Aaaand there’s the internalized homophobia.

Jughead saying that growing up Betty’s and Archie’s windows being parallel always bothered him sounds more like a jarchie admission than a bughead one, I’m just sayin’

BETTY AND JUGHEAD’S REACTIONS WHEN THEY HEAR THE BED SQUEAKING IS ME. Like the little amused but lowkey confused and baffled expression on his face as he’s like “is that their solution to everything? Can’t they ever just talk?” Like no apparently not. Me too Jug, me too-

Idk Vee, maybe he’s asking questions about your father’s line of work and the business of his associates because your dad and mom are fucking evil

What the fuck Veronica. I mean yay because that just gets us closer to Jarchie kiss but like what the fuck Vee. Also Jughead is super cute, like why does the blue eyes black hair thing absolutely melt my weak heart, like I didn’t choose to fall for this pasty ass white boy but here we are. Also Veronica’s eyes are really big and dark and pretty like girl help im falling for these two-

BETTY LITERALLY POINTED IT OUT, C’MON NOW CW, I KNOW WE’VE MADE THE MISTAKE OF GROVELING WITH SPN BUT PLEASE IM BEGGING YOU WE NEED A JARCHIE KISS-

CAN HETEROSEXUALS PLEASE STOP FUCKING ALL THE TIME ON TV. WHY DO YOU HAVE TO SHOVE YOUR STRAIGHTNESS IN MY FACE. NOT EVERYONE IS STRAIGHT YOU KNOW.

“Entertain Jughead” 😏

DUDE. They were sitting ALONE. TOGETHER. In the WOODS. With them being the ONLY ones who haven’t kissed. DUDE.

C’MON MAN, THEY’RE STARING FUCKING LONGINGLY AT EACH OTHER

If there are weird gay ships for straights then Jeronica is the weird straight ship for gays

Ok so is there a legitimate reason why Veronica is faithful to her parents and defends them to a tee and partakes in their mob shit or is she just daddy’s little fucking girl. Like it isn’t her fault that she’s been manipulated but it pisses me the fuck off. And people who want her to stay with her parents because supposedly they’re the only ones who love her even though it’s toxic and warped? Like do you have a brain?

Archie and Veronica really love supporting gentrification, classism, and Vee’s rich daddy and mommy’s innocence huh

Look i actually agree with Reggie for once, get Hiram’s ass, deal with it Veronica

Wow, nice, shaming Jug for eating. That’s cool, Arch. That’s awesome. And no Betty, she doesn’t have everybody’s vote. Because Veronica’s parents are motherfuckers and when it comes to choosing between a murderer/abuser/rich/classist/gentrifying fuck and supporting your bestie uwu guess which one im fucking picking. Also, THANK YOU JUG for explaining to your friend that even though he lives in a fantasy land where northside Riverdale is the only one worth referring to when talking about Riverdale at all and thus the only one that matters and is worth protecting, the southside exists and people live and have grown up in the southside and building a prison there where it will be even more easy to profile and incarcerate southside residents under false or exaggerated pretenses ISN’T A GOOD THING. That his own friend isn’t quite apart of his and Veronica’s and Betty’s socioeconomic caste and that he’s not going to pretend like he is, he isn’t going to be quiet about it just because you’re friends again. That he’s not going to lay down and let Archie explain what a good move for Riverdale is when he clearly means northside riverdale, let him explain how the southside needs to be dealt with to someone who grew up on the southside and knows it more (not the most, I’m not saying Jug isn’t out of his depth with certain aspects of being a full southsider) intricately than him. LIKE FUCK. ARCHIE. WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU’RE TALKING TO. Like he just doesn’t get why building prisons and stereotyping and condemning all southsiders and gentrifying entire neighborhoods is really fucking bad and a big deal and it annoys me so much. Like yeah Arch, obviously you don’t see the big deal because it doesn’t affect you and you delude yourself that it doesn’t affect your friend either, but it actually is that bad.

In conclusion, Archie and Veronica and sometimes Betty are giving me headaches rn. Like I’m not saying Jughead is perfect at all but in this particular instance he’s the only one I agree with for the most part right now.

Yeah Arch, you see things differently because you’re not the one who’s on the receiving end of the problem

YES MOMMA ANDREWS. SNAP! GO FERAL! SHOW THAT SOB SOME CONSEQUENCES!

Ah, so this is the jarchie “break-up” scene. You know what. I feel no heartbreak. Get his ass Jug.

Get. His. Ass.

They sent Cheryl to a conversion institution. I’m literally crying. This isn’t an exaggeration. I feel like I want to cry. Just. God fucking damn it.

SHE DOESN’T WANT TO GET BETTER. SHE’S NOT SICK. YOU ARE. DIE. FUCKING DIE. BURN IN HELL. AND PENELOPE BLOSSOM TOO.

“That’s not how things go in Riverdale” is a veiled way of saying “don’t challenge the upper class and don’t try to stifle gentrification,” I hope you all know

[stellaseveridee]

i felt like making this post bc too many people are doubting varchie and bughead.

sorry for any grammar/spelling mistakes

i’ll start with varchie bc they’re my babies, but i just wanna ask you guys to believe in our ship. who was there for archie when fred was shot? veronica. who was there for archie when fred died? veronica. who was there when veronica was spiralling in season 4? archie. who was there in season 1 when veronica was terrified of her own father? archie. i could go into so much more detail but i think that’s all i have to say on that. every time archie has had something bad happen, he never went to betty, instead, the majority of the time, he went to veronica. it’s the same as this season. archie needed help, so he went to veronica, even tho he and betty were doing what they were doing, and it’s the same for betty. where was archie when she was searching for her presumed dead sister? they’re friends yes, but they don’t care about each other’s problems and i really don’t understand how that makes them endgame. people are saying that archie was ooc this episode bc he told both v & b the truth. THIS IS ARCHIE! in season 2, archie told the truth, in season 4 he didn’t, and in season 5, he did. that makes season 4 the season that archie was ooc. even when he was going through the shit he was going through from 4.18 onwards, he still didn’t tell betty about it. archie and betty barely have a friendship, so why would they want to be something more? 5.08 showed that archie would rather be miserable and pining for veronica, than to be with betty (knowing he could never feel what he feels for veronica, with betty) i truly don’t understand how they could turn this around to ba. when archie broke things off with betty, (or when they mutually did so) he didn’t know that veronica was coming to tell him about chad, so that boy was going to be alone and wait for veronica. there’s no epic love story, there’s no slowburn. riverdale doesn’t do slowburn. ba are barely friends and y’all need to remember that. archie pined for VERONICA for 7 years, not betty.

now onto bughead. i don’t have as much to say bc i covered a lot of it in the varchie section, but I can say that jughead is going through a really hard time. obviously, we don’t know exactly what that is yet, and i’m hoping we’re going to find out about everybody’s trauma, but betty and jughead will always been drawn together and there’s no way betty will find out about what jughead is going through, and not want to help him. whether that’s emotional support or even just sleuthing together. we can already see that the writers are beginning to build them up, and the first step to that was to remove ba from the situation, and that has happened. do i think tabitha will be an obstacle? no. because if they wanted to do it, they would have by now. again, riverdale doesn’t do slowburn. now remember, ba was always a threat to jughead, and that’s why he took the news of their cheating harder than veronica did. bh didn’t end on good terms like va did, and i think that’s why it’s harder for them to rebuild what they had, but they will. we just have to be patient and remember that if the writers wanted ba to be endgame, they wouldn’t have done it way sooner than season 5, and during the four episodes that ba were fucking, it would have become more.

please try not to worry and just enjoy watching the bugvarchie endgames 😌

[writeraquamarinara]

Riverdale Fic Rec Bingo:

(All of these are bughead fics, except for the one about boarding a new ship, which is Kevin/Reggie)

Red: 

A fic you love without knowing the source material: Cowboy Jones: Rocketship Salsa by @writeradamanteve (rated: E)

A cathartic fic: Ask Elizabeth by @aswellingstorm  (rated: T)

A fic you wish could be a movie: In the Service of No Country by @wolfofansbach (rated: T)

A fic that made you gasp out loud: bet you wanna rip my heart out by @imreallyloveleee (rated: T)

A fic that gave you butterflies: sweetest little part of destiny by @sylwrites and @rivervixens (rated: not rated)

Orange:

A fic with a premise that shouldn’t work but does: everything i love is on the table by @flwrpotts (rated: T)

A fic you’d print and put on your bookshelf: road to me by @heavy-lies-the-crown (rated: T)

A fic that led to you making friends with the author: Coop de Grâce by @justcourbeau (rated: T)

A fic you found at the right time: i’ll have a good go at it by @sullypants (rated: T)

A fic that embodies something you value in life: all the redemption i can offer by anonymous (rated: G)

Yellow:

A fic you’ve reread several times: (I don’t know if) we are by @heartunsettledsoul and @jugandbettsdetectiveagency (rated: T) (why won’t this site ever let me tag liv)

A fic you associate with a song: i’ll be good by @whaticameherefor (rated: M)

A fic that you would read fic of: Press Play by darlingdearestdead (rated: G)

A favourite AU: This Time Around by @sheriff-snikety-snake (rated: T)

Green:

A fic you still remember many years later: simmer down and pucker up by @santiagone (rated: T)

A fic that inspires you: a revelation in the light of day by @iconic-ponytail (rated: M)

A fic you’ve gushed about irl: Painted Skin by MotherMaple (rated: E) (not sure if you wanted me to tag your tumblr or not, @ mm)

A fic that made you laugh out loud: El Niño by @happilyshanghaied (rated: E)

A fic you stayed up too late to finish reading: modern love by @stillscape (rated: M)

Blue:

A comfort fic: red ribbon winner by @heavy-lies-the-crown (rated: M)

A fic that brought you on board a new ship: everybody’s happy nowadays by @flwrpotts (rated: M)

A fic you associate with a place: some aces up your sleeve by @jordansconnor (rated: M)

A fic with a line (or two) that you’ve memorized by heart: (wise men say) only fools rush in by @rivervixens and @sylwrites (rated: not rated)

A fic that made you feel seen: Complicated by eleanornextdoor and @findingbetty (rated: M)