#everyone praises these episodes for big destiel moments

[fallenangelblade]

can I just say???? crazy to get “nobody cares that you’re broken, cas” and “i’d rather have you, cursed or not” in the same fucking episode

[profoundnet]

PROFOUND MEMBER MASTERPOST FOR NOVEMBER 2020!

Featuring Destiel/Gen works by jscribbles, Jeanne_de_Valois, tiamatv, LeafZelindor, prosopopeya, DragonSgotenks, sketching-fox, kittimau, castielslostwings, FriendofCarlotta, universalsatan, Idjit_01, Destielshipper4Cas, purple_charlie, Maleyah, noeizumispn, kitmistry, TheSongSmith, one_more_offbeat_anthem, interstitial, JusithAndronicus, ArielAquarial, queer-things-do-happen-dean, goldenraeofsun, andimeantittosting, and starprincecas.

Join us on Discord!

Masterpost below the cut.

jscribbles - jscribbles

I’ll Go With You (G, 4.7k)

A coda to 15x18 "Despair".

He hadn't said anything. He hadn't said anything when he'd been given the chance.

Tags: 15.20, reunion, grief, love confession

We Are Real (M, 2.4k)

Smutty sequel to I'll Go With You.

Dean hadn't kissed him yet.

But they were alone now, and free.

Tags: 15.18, smut

404 Error (G, 500 words)

How hablo espaniol?!!

I DON'T KNOW. Neither does Dean.

Tags: spoilers for 15.18, based on spanish dub, crack fic

The Weight of Silence (E, 26k)

The weight of silence is heavy on Dean's shoulders as he learns to live a new kind of life in Heaven. In classic Winchester-style, despite being in a place that isn't supposed to have pain and suffering, Dean rebels against it by being straight-up fucking miserable.

Tags: depression, mentions of john winchesters garbage parenting, canon compliant, 15.20 fix it coda, happy ending, smut, romance, love confessions

~

Jeanne_de_Valois - Jeanne_de_Valois

Free Bird (G, 1.7k)

Heaven is an open road and not having to pay for gas.

Heaven is a greasy sandwich and a novelty-sized candy bar.

Heaven is awkward, shuffling, confusing.

Heaven is getting to say what you wished you said, a lifetime ago.

(A Coda to Supernatural 15.20- Carry On)

Tags: Post-Episode: s15e20 Carry On, Castiel/Dean Winchester, Requited Love

~

tiamatv - tiamatv

Stone and Flesh (E, 6k)

Dean didn’t think, even in his filthiest imaginings, that Cas would sound like this in bed—loud, eager, easy with it. He doesn’t give a fuck who hears him enjoying himself. Though maybe Dean should have known. It’s not like Cas has ever once held back on anything he ever wanted to say or do—

Didn’t he?

(Not quite an episode coda for S15e18 per se, but more a "what comes after.")

Tags: AU - canon divergence; Post-Episode S15e18: Despair; Canonical Character Death; Selectively Mute Dean Winchester; Hopeful Ending

Domestic (T, 5.6k)

A little less than a year after the world doesn’t end, he and Cas get married.

Tags: AU - Canon Divergence; Future Fic; Tooth-Rotting Fluff; Domesticity in the Men of Letters Bunker; Kid Fic

Bight (E, 2.5k)

“Do you want more?” Cas asked, against Dean’s thigh. His thumb strummed gently at the soft, folded-up pocket behind Dean’s bound knee.

It tickled, but… didn’t.

Dean didn’t know what the answer to that was.

Tags: AU - Canon Divergence; Rope Bondage; Gentle Dom Castiel; Sub Dean Winchester; Praise Kink

~

LeafZealindor - @leafzelindor

Artwork for “break to let the light in” DCBB2020 (SFW)

Artwork draw for the DCBB2020 fic "break to let the light in"

Tags: fluff, touching, intimacy. Accompanied by fic by PeppermiintsPlease.

~

prosopopeya - prosopopeya

Like Real People Do (G, 4.9k)

Castiel experienced a moment of pure happiness, expecting it to be his last. 

It wasn't.

Tags: Post-15x18, canon divergence, first kiss, angst with a happy ending, first kiss

Under the Same Sun (E, 14k)

In which time is infinite, and so is the list of people willing to help Dean figure out what to do about Cas. 

A fix-it for a lot of things: Dean's repressed bisexuality, Dean's utterly inexplicable failure to realize what Cas meant, the Charlie & Dean brother/sister content I crave, among others.

Tags: Internalized biphobia, Charlie Bradbury & Dean Winchester, angst with a happy ending, post-series, Heaven fic

~

DragonSgotenks - DragonSgotenks

Say Cheese (E, 50k)

Dean Winchester is thirty, flirty, and thriving, or at least that's how his best friend Charlie describes him. Either way Dean feels pretty good about his life. He has a decent job, a nice house, and a great group of friends and family. Sure his brother's been living hundreds of miles away to attend law school and an internship, and yeah maybe he wasn't working his dream job, and so, okay, he spent most nights zoning out in front of the tv alone but that was fine. Dean was fine. Until he gets a call about a daughter he didn't know existed and suddenly Dean's quiet (boring) life is turned upside down.

Castiel Novak is a photographer whose passion lies in capturing the beauty of nature. However to pay the bills he works part time at the mall doing portrait photography. Sure it might not be as artistic as he'd like and his odd hours make for a dull social life but he's still doing what he loves. He especially enjoys doing the kids photos and over the last couple of years he's built a bit of a reputation for always getting the shot no matter how unruly or stubborn a child might be. So when a handsome father brings in his grumpy little girl for pictures Castiel thinks it will be just another photo shoot.

He's wrong.

Tags: Destiel, Single parent Dean, kidfic, bottom Dean/top Castiel, mentions of childhood trauma, eventual smut, past Lydia/Dean

~

sketching-fox - @sketching-fox

Dean Winchester Monster Fucker (NSFW)

Arts done for Dean Cas Big Bang in my partnership with LoversAntiquities.

Tags: alleyway, impala, mature content. Accompanied by fic by LoversAntiquities.

~

kittimau - @kmauspn - kittimau

Beg Pretty For Me (E, 5k)

“Cas…” His eyes flutter closed, mind slipping into the warm, pleasant haze of that special place, the one that allows him release, relief. Peace. Heart pounding in his chest, he fights the temptation to touch himself through the delicate material because Cas hasn’t told him to yet and he wants to be good.

“I want to hear you say it, Dean.”

“Fuck…” He swallows thickly. “Yeah. I- I feel beautiful.”

Tags: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Established Relationship, Explicit Sexual Content, Phone Sex, Light Dom/Sub, Dean Winchester Wears Panties, Top Castiel/Bottom Dean Winchester, Masturbation, Dom Castiel/Sub Dean Winchester

~

castielslostwings - @castielslostwings - Castielslostwings

Loud (G, 4.3k)

Minutes, hours, days, years might have already passed—time is different here, and Castiel has no way of tracking it, and still the Shadow doesn’t come. 

Castiel sits, he stands, he walks and walks and walks and walks. All he ever discovers is more darkness, more nothing.

Tags: 15.19 coda, alternate 15.20, canon fix-it, carry on fix-it, canon-compliant, love confessions, the empty, coda fic, the profound bond

Carry On (E, 8k)

“I think I’ll go for a drive.”

This is what happened between that moment, and Dean meeting Sam on that bridge.

(A 15x20 missing scene/fix-it fic).

Tags: 15x20 fix-it, Carry On coda, love confessions, castiel and dean are in love, first kiss, first time, reunions, Heaven improved, dean gets the funeral he deserves, missing scene

~

FriendofCarlotta - @friendofcarlotta - FriendofCarlotta

The Novel (E, 4.5k)

Dean, Cas, Sam and Eileen are happily retired and living their best lives. There's just one problem: Sam has decided to commemorate the Winchester brothers' adventures by writing a novel, and it's not very good at all.

AKA the episode coda where 15x20 was nothing more than Dean reading a draft of his brother's first novel and becoming increasingly appalled.

Tags: Coda, Episode Fix-It: s15e20 Carry On, Technically Canon-Compliant, First Kiss, Top Cas/Bottom Dean

~

universalsatan - @universalsatan - UniversalSatan

Mortal One, With The Sun in His Hands (E, 135k)

Cowhand Dean Winchester is notorious for risky gambles, rightfully proud of his horse Impala (who has the prettiest speckle in the West), and is stubbornly certain that his life is in apple-pie order. His comfortable existence crumbles apart when he's saved from a fire-and-brimstone death by a mysterious wanderer he discovers to be the infamous White Bandit, mythical Angel of the Desert. While his savior is as fearsome as the legends say, Dean can't help but draw closer to the quiet and endearing man the real Bandit turns out to be... even if he doesn't yet realize they're the same person. This time, Dean may have to reach out to the flame instead of recoil.

Tags: Western, Historical Fantasy, Slow Burn, Mutual Pining, Cowboys, Plot-Heavy, Hurt/Comfort, Dean Winchester is Bad at Feelings Graphic Depictions of Violence, Explicit Sexual Content (Censored Version Available). Accompanied by art by Artmetica.

~

Idjit_01 - Idjit_01

I’m not gonna say that I’d change it cause you and I know that we can’t (T, 1.3k)

After Lisa's goodbye speech to Dean in 6x14, Dean gets drunk and calls Cas.

Tags: Episode: s06e14 Mannequin 3: The Reckoning, Alcohol abuse/Alcoholism, Canon Divergence, Lisa Braeden/Dean Winchester, Castiel/Dean Winchester, Hurt/Comfort, Hurt No comfort, yes both

game over (try again, please) (G, 887 words)

After Case and everyone else's departure in 15x18 Sam and Dean sit and talk. (And yes they discuss Cas's confession)

Tags: Post-Episode: s15e18 Despair, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Suicidal Thoughts, Canonical Character Death, Good Sibling Sam Winchester

There’s blood on your face. (Beer and Nightmares) (G, 1.4k)

Dean wakes up pretty badly shaken from a nightmare. He struggles with it. He goes to the kitchen for a beer, but Cas and Sam are there. In the end, thanks to Cas's shenanigans, he doesn't even remember the nightmare.

Tags: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Hurt/Comfort, Teasing, Touch-Starved Dean Winchester, BAMF Castiel (Supernatural), Sam Winchester Is So Done

Help(less) (T, 1.9k)

Everyone Chuck took away is back and are doing normal life again. As there are no monsters and everyone around him has someone else, Dean's on his own and feels awful. So he drives away and makes several questionable choices. Featuring: Dean, a missing angel, a moose, Baby and a frankly abused forest

Tags: Post-Episode: s15e18 Despair, Castiel/Dean Winchester, Eileen Leahy/Sam Winchester, Grief/Mourning, Vomiting, Eating Disorders, Suicidal Attempt, Canon Compliant, Canonical Character Death

~

Destielshipper4Cas - @destielshipper4cas - Destielshipper4Cas

The Alpha Next Door (E, 36k)

When Cas is placed in WitSec, he gets a fake secondary gender designation to go along with his new name, ‘Jimmy.’ All he has to do until the boss of the omega trafficking ring he escaped is behind bars is keep a low profile, always apply his alpha scent, and not fall in love with an alpha. Well—two out of three ain’t too bad…

Dean has never had a crush on an alpha before. Along comes his new neighbor, Jimmy, an alpha who is alphasexual. There’s just something about him, and to his utter confusion, he finds himself falling for an alpha for the first time in his life.

Tags: Past Rape/Non-con, Strangers to Lovers, Mutual Pining, Slow Burn, Hurt/Comfort, Omega Verse

~

purple_charlie - purple_charlie

Walk Through Fire for You (T, 2.3k)

Boyfriend.

The word still feels foreign in Dean’s mouth, still brings back echoes of John Winchester’s thinly-veiled (if even that) homophobia. "Man up, don’t be a sissy, I didn’t raise a fairy". It’s a swollen blister in the back of Dean’s mind, throbbing with pain whenever a stranger’s eyes linger too long on Cas’ hand in his, whenever a waitress double-takes at how close they sit in diner booths.

But here, dirty dancing with Cas in a warehouse full of other queer folks, Dean wants to shout from the rooftops- I’m Dean Winchester, I drive the baddest car in town, I lift heavy things for a living, and this is my boyfriend.

Tags: Homophobic parents, homophobic siblings, bisexual Dean, Gay Cas, Pride, marijuana use

~

Maleyah - @maleyah-givemetomorrow - Katherine_Kat

Art for In A State of Perpetual Disrepair (SFW)

Art for my fic, In A State of Perpetual Disrepair, a hurt/comfort A/B/O Destiel fic.

Tags: fanart, A/B/O, hurt/comfort, Alpha!Cas, Omega!Dean

Start of Time (G, 754 words)

Except he never expected to be awake for the aftermath.

You see, he can hear Dean's prayers.

Tags: Castiel POV, Despair, Hope, Coda 15x18, post episode 15x18, Fix-It, Fix-It of Sorts

We’re Not Gonna Take It (T, 1.4k)

Amara gestures at Dean calmly. “Have you been praying lately by any chance?”

Dean flusters and stammers, hands at his hips to give himself an attitude, while his eyes flick from her to Sam and Jack insecurely. “N… No.”

Tags: Coda 15x19, Post episode 15x19, Fix It, Dean's dirty prayers, Dean Prays to Castiel, Angel Wings, Wings, First Kiss

Drive (M, 1.5k)

Dean's prayers take a turn for the sensual, which drives The Empty to the brink.

Tags: Coda 15x18; post episode 15x18,, Dean Prays to Castiel, Dean's dirty prayers, Angel Wings, Wings, First Kiss, Fix-It, Slight Crack

Now That We’re Dead (M, 2.5k)

“You got everything you could ever want or need or dream. So I guess the question is… What’re you gonna do now, Dean?”

Looking around, he doesn’t know how to answer that question. The obvious is suggested when she turns out to have made it to Heaven too. Dust dances in the air around Baby, shining in the sunlight, tempting him to go for a ride. The endless stretched out road and horizon.

He blinks a few times, slow and owlish.

And right there, his shadow falling long and dark, almost touching Dean’s feet, is Cas.

OR: the one where Cas gets the love he deserves

Tags: 15x20 coda, Fix It, First Kiss, human!Cas, Heaven, Heaven happy ending, Canon divergent from the moment Bobby says "Cas helped", Fix-It

I Wanna Live, Not Just Survive (M, 3.9k)

“Dean Winchester,” Cas drawls. “I did not go to The Empty, so you could get yourself impaled.”

Or: the other one, where Cas and Dean get to be what they deserve.

Tags: coda 15x20, Fix-It, Human Castiel (Supernatural), Earth happy ending, Because let's not bury our gays, First Kiss, Cuddles, Hurt/Comfort

~

noeizumispn - @noeizumispn

Colors (SFW)

Art inspired by Misha's words on Cas' wings

Tags: Rainbow, colors, destiel, wings

~

kitmistry - @kitmistry - Kitmistry

Don’t You Cry No More (T, 4.8k)

There has to be something, he told himself the first night he pulled an all nighter, only to wake up with his cheek smashed against a book, dark circles under his eyes, a throbbing headache, and nowhere closer to the answer than when he started. The light was still on above his head. He didn’t bother turning it off.

Or the one where Dean doesn't die, but he searches for Cas instead. 

Tags: Fix-It, Coda, Episode: s15e20 Carry On, Post-Canon, Angst with a Happy Ending

~

TheSongSmith - TheSongSmith

Four Seasons (G, 754 words)

Cas is the owner of Four Seasons Total Landscaping, and he received a very curious call on a quiet Saturday morning. Dean owns the adult shop next door, and is very confused by what's going on. Good times are had by all, except Donald Trump because fuck that morally-bankrupt tangerine.

Tags: Four Seasons Total Landscaping, Destiel is Canon, 2020 is a dumpster fire so have this fic, twitter made me do it

~

one_more_offbeat_anthem - one_more_offbeat_anthem

So Comes Snow After Fire (G, 11k)

Cas was old, like old-old, like ancient, like here for the beginning of the goddamn cosmos old, like remembers rain being invented old, and he could be anywhere, but instead he was in Dean’s kitchen (well, the bunker’s, but no one else cooked--Jack and Cas were kind of clueless when it came to that stuff, and all Sam made was health food), reading The Hobbit aloud to Dean while Dean himself made them all spaghetti.

(or, they got their win--the biggest win of all--and now autumn is settling in. a nearly-human Cas plants a garden, and Dean helps him along.)

Tags: Post-Canon/Canon-Divergent, Domesticity, Getting together, Fluff and comfort, Gardening Castiel

~

interstitial - interstitial

Thirst Was Made For Water (T, 5.9k)

Cas is hit by a truth spell. The results are unexpected.

And maybe just a tiny bit funny. Unless you're Dean. 

Tags: Dubiously Consensual Courting Behavior, Mildly NSFW Art Included, Profanity, Crack & Fluff, Truth Spells, Animal Transformations, Canon Divergent After s7e17 The Born-Again Identity, Light-Hearted and (Relatively) Wholesome For These Trying Times

~

JudithAndronicus - @judithandronicus - judithandronicus

Up We Go (E, 4.9k)

A coda fic series for 15.18.

Tags: Grieving, Canonical MCD (temporary), Alcoholic Dean, Angst with a Happy Ending

The Kindness of Ravens (E, 7.5k)

Crackfic wherein ravens pooping on Dean lead to feelings realization and eventual smut.

Tags: Fluff, Crack, Feelings Realization, Diners

The Ampersand Chronicles (G, 1.3k)

This is unrepentant canon-adjacent Bunker fluff, set in a universe where everything is kind of the same, except fluffier. Cas lives in the Bunker with Sam and Dean; things like Gadreel and Lucifer aren't a problem; and oh yeah, there's a cat.

Tags: Fluff, Bunker Fic, Kittens

~

ArielAquarial - ArielAquarial

Boyfriend Blues (G, 1k)

“I have a boyfriend!”

It came out of nowhere. One second Dean was shoveling a truly amazing pork roast into his mouth, already planning the meat to mashed potato ratio of his next bite, when Claire opened her mouth and his fork was clattering to the plate. Cas stopped mid-bite to stare at her while Jack, completely oblivious, continued making a Jackson Pollock out of his potatoes and gravy.

Tags: Parenthood, Domestic Fluff, Married Life, Alternate Universe, Established Relationship, Kid Claire Novak, Kid Jack Kline

Extra Credit (E, 4.2k)

“Hey, babe. Who has the kids?”

“Mr. Winchester…” Cas rumbled, leaning back in his chair and folding his arms across his chest. “You’re cutting it close. My office hours are almost over.”

Dean frowned at him, confused. That didn’t even remotely answer his question. What did he—

Oh…

Oh!

Or, the moment Dean has been waiting for has finally arrived.

Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Husbands, Professor Castiel (Supernatural), Mechanic Dean Winchester, Sexual Roleplay, Teacher/Student Roleplay, Anniversary

Never in a Million Years (G, 2.5k)

If someone had told Cas six years ago that he was going to be a happily married man with two kids, he would have laughed. Now, with Dean by his side, he couldn't imagine things being different, even if the path to get there had been a little rocky.

Tags: Domestic Fluff, Holiday Traditions, Alternate Universe, Established Relationship, Backstory, Bickering, Married Life

~

queer-things-do-happen-dean - @queer-things-do-happen-dean - Latter_alice

Tangerine, tangerine (E, 1k)

“So it’s – It’s really nothin’, huh?” Dean swallows and tries to blink away the wetness in his eyes. His gaze don’t weaver from the road. “No, uh, key words ring a bell? Chuck? Angel tablet?” He pauses, flicks his eyes over to Castiel and back. “... Leviathans?"

When Dean pulls Cas out of the Empty, not everything comes back.

Tags: Canon divergent, post series, memory loss

~

goldenraeofsun - @goldenraeofsun - goldenraeofsun

Symmetria (T, 4k)

When all’s said and done with Chuck, Dean takes his time getting used to his new gig as capital D Death. Billie, of course, did not see fit to leave him a training manual. But with his brother-turned-God on his side, and Jack as the new Darkness, they all muddle through.

Finally, all that's left is to rescue Cas from the Empty.

Tags: 15x18 fix-it, alternate post-series AU, Death!Dean, God!Sam, Darkness!Jack, love confessions, first kiss, minor Sam/Eileen

~

andimeantittosting - @andimeantittosting - andimeantittosting

We Are (M, 699)

15x18 coda. When they get Cas back, because they do, because somehow, someway, sometimes good things do happen, Dean... 

Tags: Reunion, Resurrected Castiel, Requited Love, Happy Ending

Carrying On (G, 794 words)

15x20 coda. Dean dies and goes to heaven. But then he wakes up.

Tags: Fix-it Fic, Djinn, Happy Ending on Earth

Two Inches to the Left (T, 2.5k)

15x20 coda. Something tells Dean to stop by that bridge, so he does. The last thing he's expecting is for a pair of Vespas to pull up and Becky Rosen to tell him that he's still in Chuck's story. Finally, it's time to write his own.

Tags: Fix-it Fic, Temporary Character Death, Happy Ending on Earth, Fangirls Save the Day

~

starprincecas - @starprincecas - cuddlesandcas

so it goes (T, 1.4k)

The Empty comes to collect.

Tags: Major Character Death, Episode Tag: s15e18 Despair, Angst

no more waiting on tomorrow (T, 739 words)

For all that they’ve finally won once and for all, the victory feels hollow.

Tags: Episode Tag: s15e19 Inherit the Earth, Fix-It Fic

[nileqt87]

Despair For Castiel: A Review

From a series of posts before and after watching:

Before:

As far as I'm concerned, I'm now imagining the Empty having to deal with Gabriel and Balthazar redecorating the Empty into the angel/demon afterlife (probably with a lot of wacky alternate realities and bad porno) with all the free will angels and redemptive demons invited, Cas finding Meg and eventually Jack again for his true happy ending that he can have and Crowley probably trying to install himself as king again. Then when Rowena finally exits as Queen of Hell, she'll join and Crowley will annoyed, but Gabriel will be happy to see her again. LOL.

Megstielers also got robbed hard with all that setup of Cas still pining for Meg for YEARS, the Empty using her image (not Dean!) to taunt him (the Empty clearly saw Meg in Cas' head when it could have taken the form of anyone, including Cas like last time) and a whole dropped plot thread that Cas made a deal with Ruby to break a demon out of the Empty, which only makes sense with the one and only demon he'd actually want to let out of the Empty. That's dangling one 'ship a whole bunch of carrots (like every single Clarence reference for a decade) to rip the rug out from under them.

I suppose I should've seen it coming when the previously on segment for 15x13 was a Pizza Man and the Babysitter retrospective that shoved Cas out of the Pizza Man role beside Babysitter Nurse Meg to shove Dean into Megstiel's sexy times meme. I guess it turned Cas into just Dean's Baby in a Trench Coat (which was an insult about being useless to Dean's cause without powers, which suggests Cas has no worth to him otherwise), since he got infantilized with the removal of the Pizza Man originally being him.

I still haven't watched the episode. The Tumblr crap is that off-putting.

What should've been an epic moment in Cas' story is now tainted by his love of humanity, found family and free will (his real love story is with all of humanity and finding belonging, in spite of always being on the outside looking in on a life he can't have because he's not human) being reduced to horny girls who just want fetish smut with Dean and don't give a fig about canon Cas outside of a toxic, abusive crack!ship. It's always so immature and vapid!

It was immediately clear when I joined the fandom that shockingly few gave a crap about any character but Dean, even refusing to see what he's become in later seasons. Also numerous examples where they admit having not seen the show in a decade or only knowing the show via manipulative .gif sets. Cas and Sam (if they remember him at all) are just props or prizes to be won. They ignore context of familial/platonic relationships. Canon love interests aren't good enough because they're not the big prize of being a main. I also note the deluge of Wincest girls who hate Cas for existing (he's in their way) in the anti-Destiel tag.

I can't say the .gifs are making me want to watch, even though the dialog is vague enough to still fit Cas' actual character for the general audience who isn't glued to social media.

As for Dean's non-reaction, I had similar problems with Jensen's constipated acting back in 15x03 when Cas finally walked away while Dean looked like he couldn't care less, which the writers coincidentally praised Jensen for (holy crap that interview was up his backside) and completely ignored Misha actually giving a good performance in a scene that actually meant something long coming for Cas. I certainly can't say the same about the quality of this scene, which just looks forced on both ends.

I hope I like the episode more than the sounds of it, but my hopes aren't high. This is not how I wanted Cas' final moments on the show to be.

After:

Well, I got up the stomach to watch it tonight. Thankfully, in context, it definitely got blown way out of proportion by what the Hellers turned it into (as usual). Yeah, even when watching while unfortunately not blind to the wackadoodle fandom discourse, it played out better on screen than the .gifs. And frankly, a whole lot less like creepy Care Bear stare nightmare fuel than the few choice screenshots kept showing (yikes). I still wish Sam and Jack had been there, because they're just as much part of what connected Cas to feeling like part of a family (even more so in the later years), but it's not the total monstrosity it was turned into online.

Average viewers who just take canon as is without trying to read into it what they want to be there instead, IMO, will safely interpret it platonically (even if coming after a particularly hellish few years in Dean's personality rot where the whole friendship was beginning to be questionable) more often than not because that's what the canon has said for a dozen years. Again, I repeat that Cas already told the Winchesters he loved them when he thought he was dying.

It's a crime to have Cas' perfect philia (brotherly), storge (parental) and agape-style (sacrificial and unconditional) loves being immaturely twisted into eros in a way that degrades the whole meaning of the character's journey. People telling each other they love one another when it's not sexual should never be mocked into being afraid to do so because of this insidious, willful misinterpretation. If only somebody had told Cas they love him instead of him always being the one with his heart on his sleeve!

This character went from being tortured into a robotic, emotionless, ancient, not-remotely-humanoid being who couldn't relate to the simplest of human needs to being someone deeply in love with humanity and wanting to find belonging amongst it despite knowing it would always end with him watching them all grow old and die after having families and such experiences angels are forbidden from having (another reason why Jack was so important to Cas' story).

The wording is valid for that philia/agape interpretation, given Cas definitely equated Dean (whom Cas watched sacrificing himself for Sam endlessly, including why he had to be raised from perdition in the first place) with a guide role in his learning to understand humanity and proudly-defiant free will before he could love it. It's valid enough to say that Cas wouldn't have broken his programming permanently without being challenged to question everything he'd ever believed and give up his entire angelic belonging. That much of it did begin with Cas just happening to be the angel who succeeded in the Hell rescue.

Obviously, it's also canon that Cas had a long history of not following orders and getting lobotomized by Naomi, but Cas actually understanding humanity and what free will means did happen only after this particular rebellion. I'm very glad at least that was in the speech, but of course, it's being hopelessly ignored.

I stand by my interpretation that what Cas can't have has always been the tragic version of The Little Mermaid where she turns into sea foam in the end. Cas has always looked in on what everyone else takes for granted from the outsider's perspective. There's a part of him that will always be left out, no matter how well he learns to fit in and how much those around him begin to treat him as a real person. Cas never really got to truly belong with humanity, no matter how much he loves and is loved by it. He's also not getting to stay where he wants to be. There's no Pinocchio ending for Cas that turns him into a real Winchester.

Sadly, Dean's constant othering of him and Jack like they're just more monsters to hunt only alienated them more. Jack was someone Cas could relate to as a supernatural being capable of human emotions, which might also have furthered his draw towards Meg. Sam was also someone Cas could relate to as freaks and abominations amongst their own kinds. Sam always had that same struggle, also with his own family. It goes a long way towards explaining why Sam was always so empathetic to Cas and Jack in a way that Dean couldn't be. All three kept conflicting with that black & white humans = good/other = bad mindset that sometimes creeps in with Dean. When Cas was Dean's "best friend" in the early days, he rationalized it by thinking of Cas as being "like" a human ("You used to be human, or at least like one.").

Yet it still remains true that Cas often found himself looking to Dean to teach him about humanity back when he didn't know enough about it to be inconspicuous amongst them. Dean gave him the crash course in both what humanity is willing to do for each other, but also its flaws and failings at the same time.

Perhaps the saddest scenes in the episode were actually Sam watching everyone poof in front of him. Sam has really been forced to watch a lot of death scenes this season all by himself (as with Rowena), but he looked the most broken by Eileen's. Cas is going to be hard on him, because I genuinely think Sam was far closer to him in the end. Sam was the one who actually was trying to reach out to Cas when Dean repeatedly kept him out of the loop. Sam being left out from the final words with Cas or even hearing first-hand about the deal with the Empty just furthers that tragedy. While Dean has been raging at everything in sight, Sam and Cas have both looked broken, sad and tired all season.

[verobatto]

Destiel Chronicles

(Vol. XXIV)

It was a love story, from the very beginning.

Heartbroken

(6x20/6x21/6x22)

Hello my dears! How are you? This is another Chronicle and the last one for season 6!!

This is gonna be a hard meta... *Sobbing* we're here together so...

Thanks to my friend @agusvedder she made the gifs for this meta and discussed a while crying profusely, with me.

Ok, let's start with this!

When Cas broke Dean's heart

Still in episode 6x20...

When Cas saves the guys from demons, Dean is happy to see him, and everyone in the room felt sorry for doubt about him, but...

Remember all that blind trust Dean had in Castiel, even with the proof on the table? Well... Cas said something that broke Dean's heart and trust. He mentioned the whole Superman going to the dark side thing. A talk Bobby, Dean and Sam had gotten alone, well, they thought they were alone.

And Dean's face is... Gah... He realizes Cas is spying on them, and lying, and cheating... And... His heart breaks and is all over his face.

Even his smile is sad, very sad... Mixed with anger.

And then we are dragged again to Cas's memories...

You know when you watch your crush with longing eyes... Yes... Cas contemplating Dean, is a very romantic scene, he didn't want to perturbed him, and in his own words...

CASTIEL So I went to an old friend for help. But watching him, I stopped. Everything he sacrificed, and I was about to ask him for more.

Is curious how an ancient creature as Cas thinks his friendship with Dean is old. Dean is an old friend of Castiel.

And also... He saw Dean was having a good life, well, that's what he thought, and because he loves him, he didn't want to break that life. He, as Bobby and Sam, thought Dean wanted that life, they assumed Dean was happy having that life. And they were wrong.

In this point, Crowley appears... He's the temptation here, and Cas fell for it. The devil tempting a desperate angel that needs more power to stop the new Apocalypse and save the world and his friends. His old friend, mostly, Dean Winchester.

So, he did it for him? Sure. He'll say that later...

Falling in Temptation

Is very interesting to analyze the sequence of how Crowley tempts Castiel... Is the same mechanism the devil uses with his victims...

First of all... The adulation...

CASTIEL: I'm not strong enough, and you know it.

CROWLEY: Ah, not on your own, you're not. But you're not on your own, are you? There's a lot of angels swooning over you. "God's favorite." Buddy boy, you've got what they call sex appeal.

CASTIEL: Thank you. Get to the point.

Watch here how Crowley praises him, you're the God's fav, angels follow you, you have sex appeal... I mean... Is obvious he's trying to seduce Castiel to make him accept a deal with Hell... Is the same method the devil uses for tempting humanity.

The second part of this is the offer... Generally, the offer is POWER, so here... Is the same.

CASTIEL: This is ridiculous. I mean, the amount of power that it would take to mount a war...

CROWLEY: More than either of us have ever seen, yeah. But what if I said I knew how to go nuclear?

CASTIEL What do you mean?

CROWLEY: Purgatory, my fine feathered friend. Purgatory. Just think about it. An untapped oil well of every fanged, clawed soul. I mean, what's that over the years? 30 million? 40 million? Just sitting there, plump and rich for the taking.

Here is when Crowley put the coin, he does adulated Cas and now he offered him a way to win the war... Becoming nuclear, the immense power of souls... So Cas takes it.

But there's something interesting too when Crowley designed the plan, he infered he needed Sam and Dean to get the monsters, and Cas was determinant here ...

CASTIEL No. Not Dean. He's retired, and he's to stay that way.

He's protecting Dean's apple pie life, he thought this was a way to protect him. He wouldn't let Crowley to hurt Dean or to get him into that war.

The Betrayal

Well, we need enter now in the worst par of all... Let me cry under that tree for a moment... I'll be right back...

Ok... Let's start this...

Dean prays to Castiel and he appears, they lock Cas in an angel trap, and Bobby and Sam began to confront him.

And because he's desperately looking to one side and another but avoiding Dean's gaze... This is what happens... (Damn...)

You know how sacred are our Destiel's stares... They talk with their eyes. Is the way they share their emotions... So Dean needed that, Castiel look at me in the eye!

It hurts a lot, because Dean's facial expression when Cas averted his eyes to the ground, because it was truth. Dean is heartbroken.

Dean named the things Bobby and Sam had been trying to make him see. And he can't believe it. He can't believe HIS CAS, the one he was defending with his whole body and soul against the suspicious, had betrayed him... And everything was truth.

I need some ice cream and cry a lot...

After this the confrontation goes on, and Sam is thinking Cas saved him from Hell without soul on purpose? That's the extreme of Castiel becoming evil, but Sam is thinking that because he never trusted blindly in Castiel, because he was Dean's best friend, not his... (But this will change in the next season. Their relationship will have an important turn.)

The next time Dean talks is here...

CASTIEL Listen. Raphael will kill us all. He'll turn the world into a graveyard. I had no choice.

DEAN: No, you had a choice. You just made the wrong one.

(This is the next thing Dean said to Cas, he had a choice, ask him for help, he's showing him the path he should choose. He's teaching him, as always.)

CASTIEL: You don't understand. It's complicated.

DEAN: No, actually, it's not, and you know that. Why else would you keep this whole thing a secret, huh, unless you knew that it was wrong? When crap like this comes around, we deal with it... Like we always have. What we don't do is we don't go out and make another deal with the Devil!

Here, Dean gets mad because he more listen Castiel's excuses, he more understands Castiel's is covering his lies with more lies.

CASTIEL: It sounds so simple when you say it like that. 

This is so, so romantic people, the longing stares, the sadness in their eyes. Is like loosing a precious thing you found, a precious, beautiful and warm thing, that vanishes. It was Dean's hopes and faith. Cas was his savior, his best friend, his angel.

Give me just a minute, I need to roll on the floor and cry a little more ...

And then... The danger is near again, and Cas is trapped but he's worried about them, and he asks them to leave, to run... And that last looks between them... People who says this isn't a romantic scene... Fight me, because that's Dean saying... "Why you did this to me?, I love you," and Cas is saying "I love you too, but I had to do it. The mission comes first."

They talk with their eyes people...

Destiel breakup

Ok... Idk if Bobby draw the no angel sigil wrong, I like to think it was Dean. Because is weird Bobby not doing things like that well... And Dean wanted to talk with CAS again... It's obvious because he will try twice to convince him.

CASTIEL: I'm doing this for you, Dean. I'm doing this because of you.

Well we have the confirmation here, is for him, for Dean, to protect him.

DEAN Because of me. Yeah. You got to be kidding me.

CASTIEL You're the one who taught me that freedom and free will --

DEAN You're a freakin' child, you know that? Just because you can do what you want doesn't mean that you get to do whatever you want!

Dean knows Cas tries to do things right, he was his free will teacher, that's why now, he'll try to convince Cas.

Now... First try...

DEAN I'm not gonna logic you, okay? I'm saying don't...Just 'cause. I'm asking you not to. That's it.

CASTIEL I don't understand.

Dean is asking desperately, because he sees Castiel has his mission in first place, and it doesn't let him see things as Dean want him to see it. So he says I SAY YOU DON'T, SO YOU DON'T, THAT'S IT. Like a father to a child.

Second intent...

DEAN Look, next to Sam, you and Bobby are the closest things I have to family -- that you are like a brother to me. So, if I'm asking you not to do something...You got to trust me, man.

Again, he uses the same technic, but Cas just gets it as an attempt of defiance... Bc he's at war.

CASTIEL Or what?

Here's a different way to impose his power over Dean with that time Soulless!Sam tried to defy him. He went straight to confront him physically, invading his personal space, showing him not fear, "Would you, boy? How?"

This time... Is Dean... So... The way he says these words, with sorrow in his face. That's the difference between you and me, Dean... I'm an angel, you're just a man. We're from two different worlds... I'm stronger than you. So don't say you would stop me as if I was a monster.

DEAN I don't know. I've taken some pretty big fish.

CASTIEL I'm sorry, Dean.

DEAN Well, I'm sorry, too, then.

Mission comes first. Cas is a soldier.

This was their break up.

Loosing people, loosing you

If you were sobbing with 6x20, now 6x21 is... A sea of tear... "Let it Bleed".

At the beginning of the episode they're talking about Cas, Dean's face is a mix of sadness and longing, he's asking a question he maybe already knew, why did Cas come last night? If he didn't want to fix things?

Dean wanted to fix things with CAS, so when he saw him he tried fiercely to convince him, but he couldn't, then Bobby reveals Cas stole some book.

More dagas in Dean's heart. So he didn't come to see me, but to steel some book?

Crowley kidnapped Lisa and Ben, and Dean got crazy... Sam wanted to help him but he didn't know how... Balthazar didn't want to help, so he proposed something...

SAM: Look, Dean. Let's just call Cas. Maybe he doesn't know anything about this.

DEAN: We are not calling Cas.

SAM: Yeah, but Dean.

DEAN: We're not calling Cas!

Definitely not calling Cas, Dean is tremendously mad at him.

He will try to get some info from demons, and one will attack him... Cas will save him, and again... The struggling with the feelings...

This time is Cas trying to convince Dean he had not choice and he has to do it.

And the following lines...

Gah!!! That had to hurt... Damn, Cas you don't have to say Dean things he already knew... You was his ally, his best friend. He trusted you with his life. But Castiel's face is like someone who's pleading... Please Dean understand, forgive me, I love you. I'm doing this for you.

Can I die now?

And Dean's face is... Ugh! Suffering, suffering... I love you man, but you just screwed things up, badly, I can't forgive you.

And then...

CASTIEL: I came to tell you that I will find Lisa and Ben, and I will bring them back. Stand behind me, the one time I ask.

DEAN: You're asking me to stand down?

CASTIEL: Dean.

DEAN: That's the same damn ransom note that Crowley handed me. You know that, right? Well no thanks. I'll find 'em myself. In fact, why don't you go back to Crowley and tell him that I said you can both kiss my ass.

Now he's mad, very mad... He walks away and gives Castiel his back, clenching his fist with anger.

He's trying to control himself, he can't believe CAS is talking like Crowley, is the worst, where's his Castiel???

The face he made after Cas is gone is priceless, is a mix between pain, anger and sadness... Gah.

Ok, hospital... Lisa is in bad shape... And Castiel appears...

DEAN: What do you want?

He's so, so mad at Cas.

CASTIEL: Dean, listen.

DEAN: What do you want me to say? She'll be dead by midnight.

CASTIEL: I'm sorry.

DEAN: I don't care. It's too little, too late.

CASTIEL: Okay. Well, regardless, I didn't come for you.

DEAN: Meaning?

CASTIEL: (he walks up to Lisa and places his hand on her forehead, healing her) She's fine now. She'll wake soon. Dean, I said I'm sorry and I meant it.

Ok... This was sad and it'll be the last time they will talk about it before Cas become Godstiel.

Dean is heartbroken, he lost Lisa, Ben and now Cas... Because he can't elaborate in his head Cas isn't his friend anymore. So heartbroken, his face is priceless here. His eyes with unshed tears. Because of CAS. He will ask him to erase Ben and Lisa memories, but Castiel's Betrayal, as he will say in 7x17, he couldn't swallow it... So yes, this face is mostly for Castiel. Bc he lost him.

Godstiel, and the last intent to get Cas back

In episode 6x22, the last of the season, Cas did two things, in my opinion, were out of character.

1) He broke Sam's mental war (when in Season 5 he will kill anyone who tries to hurt him) he never NEVER would do something to hurt Sam.

2) He killed Balthazar, another friend, bc he felt he'd betrayed him.

Ok... This maybe was used by the showrunner to present us the wrong path Cas was following to his mere death.

Don't worry, she'll be asked to fix this by writing Castiel's return to the show in 7x17 (oops).

After doing these two things, he become Godstiel, he wasn't Cas, he was a new entity.

The way he was talking to Dean showed us that. He was like a heartless powerful creature.

Even so, Dean will try to get to him...

We can see in the hunter's face fears and concern about his friend...

DEAN: Listen to me. Listen, I know there's a lot of bad water under the bridge, but we were family once. I'd have died for you. I almost did a few times. So if that means anything to you... Please. I've lost Lisa, I've lost Ben, and now I've lost Sam. Don't make me lose you too. You don't need this kind of juice anymore, Cas. Get rid of it before it kills us all.

So desperate, he knew it was a huge danger Cas was like a nuclear bomb, but there's love in his words. He's trying his best to get his angel back. It was in vain, as we know...

To Conclude

Dean and Cas break up showed us the profound love they feel for each other, 6x20 and 6x21 were purely romantic, and you can feel the pain and the longing all over it.

It was clear that loosing Cas wasn't loosing just a friend, it hurted badly to Dean because, as I said in the last volume, Cas was more than family to him.

The performance from the actor was deliberately played as a romantic scene. Jensen and Misha knew what they were doing there. It was two people in love breaking up.

Ok, we finished this season people, sorry for the long post! But next one we will get into season 7, I assume it'll be less volumes.

I hope you like this, see you in the next chronicle.

Tagging @magnificent-winged-beast @emblue-sparks @weirddorkylittlediana @michyribeiro @whyjm @koshisekisen @legendary-destiel @a-bit-of-influence @thatwitchydestielfan @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover @lykanyouko @evvvissticante @savannadarkbaby @angelneedshunter @trickster-archangel @dea-stiel @poorreputation @bre95611 @thewolfathedoor @charlottemanchmal @neii3n @deathswaywardson @followyourenergy @dean-is-bi-till-i-die @hekatelilith-blog @avidbkwrm @anarchiana @mishka-the-angel-of-saturday @dickpuncher365 @vampyrosa @xsghn @foxyroxe-art @authorsararayne @anonymoustitans @mybonsai1976 @love-neve-dies @wildligia @dustythewind @wayward-winchester67 @angelwithashotgunandtrenchcoat @trashblackrainbow @deeutdutdutdoh @destiel-is--endgame @destiel-shipper-11 @larrem88 @charmedbycastiel @ran-savant @little-crazy-misha-minion @samoosetheshipper

If you want to be tagged, please let me know.

If you want to check the previous volumes...

Vol. XV, XVI, XVII, XVIII, XIX, XX, XXI, XXII, XXIII

Buenos Aires, Augusto 14th 2019 8:07 PM

[surflove808]

On Destiel and endgame hysteria

Sometimes I get fired up about some of the BS I see in this fandom and this is one of those moments.  This post will be a layercake of sentimentality, disappointment, anger and maybe a wee bit (a lot) of profanity.  So, you know. Back on my bullshit.

The show that we love, love to hate or hate to love, for better or worse, will see it's final curtain call at the S15 finale.  You don't need me to tell you how impactful it's been and how much it means to so many people for a variety of reasons that extend well beyond it's entertainment value.  All it takes is one scroll through social media to get a sampling of the reach of this little-show-that-could and by extension (and because of) it's cast, to see that it's beloved by so many.  And it deserves the praise, and the end deserves to be lamented - but like TFW has said over and over, and to paraphrase Frank Sinatra, they're doing it their way.  For that?  I'm happy.

The show has been described as a "juggernaut" and an "institution", and it is.  We all know the themes:  Finding *your* family, struggle, perseverance, dedication, making mistakes and not always learning from them (but trying), acceptance, the beauty in humanity even when all hope seems lost, redemption, and love... to name the big ones. Now about Love.  "Love" is not threatening to burn down houses if your ship isn't made canon.  "Acceptance" isn't threatening the cast, crew, producers and network with lawsuits if your ship isn't made endgame.  I saw a few posts like that today that had a very disappointing number of likes and reblogs and I'm kinda furious, to be honest.  You fucking twits.

As someone who enjoys the show, and respects the determination, sacrifice, hard work, creativity, and yes - Love -  that has been poured into this endeavor, I don't think I'm alone when I say -  JUST. STOP.  You whining, tantrum throwing, self-important, "wouldn't catch a social cue if it had a $100 bill attached to it and was tossed to you from 3 feet away", obnoxious, divisive children.  

Accept what the cast, the writers and Eric Freaking Kripke have told you?  No... can't do that.  Must hop from one lily pad of delusion to the next and have the gall to be self righteous about it.  And then pat yourselves on the back for being alternately clever, threatening and obtuse.  You're like the Donald Trumps of the SPN fandom.  You're not disliked because of your ship.  You're disliked because of your personalities.  Let that sink in.  No one is marginalizing you.  You chose to do this to yourselves AND your beloved ship via your words and actions.  You sunk your own battleship and now you’re pissed.  

I don't affiliate myself with any ship or the other factions of this fandom.... I don't get it.  I'm just a fan.  A fan of the story, the acting, the tragedy, the comedy, the characters and the character of the actors involved.  I don't know what a good "fan" is... don't care.  But I know what a bad one is.  A bad one thinks that they can take ownership of someone else's art just because they've "invested" in it. 

And I apply it to my own life in this way - Here I am doing my thing, putting my creativity out into the world... and what I create matters to me.  Every little bit.  I throw myself into the things I'm passionate about.  And not everyone is going to be thrilled with what I produce.  Some people will never see what I put out there, but word travels fast when you genuinely care about your craft.  I do what I do because it drives me, and always has.  And I do my best to stay true to MY story.  And the thought of someone trying to insert themselves into my story because they think they know my creations better than I do, makes me want to punch throats.  

And the thought of a group of people actually threatening me and the people I collaborate with because I'm not making their fantasy a reality??  Hey - get fucked sideways without lube, and throw some sand in there for extra discomfort.

I want you (and you know who you are) to have some accountability.  Please tell me in what scenario is your behavior warranted or appropriate.  Feel free to DM me.  I won't "out" you, and I'll never be abusive - I just need to know why.  (bullet pointing this because... reading comprehension)

1.  WHY is Destiel is the only representation you'll accept.  

2.  WHY do you think it's funny or "OK" to harass the creatives on this show constantly when you have absolutely no right to their story?  

3.  WHY do you think that pushing something so hard will get you what you want? 

4,   And lastly.... WHY is this so important to you? 

Can you possibly survive if Destiel isn't made canon?  Do you have other hobbies and interests that can fill your time?  Because some of ya'll are acting like this is the Be All End All of your existence and I'm here to tell you - it's really not.  If it DOES happen, it will be at the discretion of the showrunner and creatives, and I promise you it won’t be because they caved to the small, yet omnipresent faction of Destiehellers that have annoyed the ever-living fuck out of everyone attached to this show.  It’ll be on their terms.

The tantrum strategy stops working after age 4, usually....it just seems some of you are late getting the memo.  Thanks to your folks.  Well done.

Try to appreciate the show for what it is and always has been.  If your expectations are unreasonable and are buoyed by years of manips, misquotes and over-analyzation of brief "moments" between ANY characters, and you feel emotional enough about it to behave badly - it's time for a factory reset.  This show has never mislead you - you’ve bought into delusion and over-analysis and straight-up fiction pimped to you by fellow “fans” probably before you even watched your first episode.  It’s the weirdest thing I’ve seen.  And I’ve seen some shit. 

If you’re going to be angry... be angry at your friendly neighborhood Destiel dealer.  They chumped you to get more *buy* for their *supply*.  Them’s the facts.

That being said.... Can We Just Appreciate The Final Moments That This Amazing Cast And Crew Are Going To Give Us (and you know they will), And Let It The Fuck GO?  

You're welcome to block me (you probably should).  But before you do that, could you let this sink in a bit?  And if you see a fellow shipper being an entitled  douche - maybe hold yourself to a higher standard than they do themselves and don't perpetuate it/like/reblog it?  Because this behavior is well and truly a shitty way to treat the legacy of this groundbreaking show, and all those that are responsible for bringing it to life. 

In other words....Behave.  And have some goddamn dignity.

I’m not sure if I’m doing this right, but my response was so long.  Eh...whatever.  @jessiegail   I understand, and please allow me to elaborate. When I was scrolling through the Jensen tags (because the Dean and SPN tags have been overrun by a lot of people with zero respect for the character/show canon, so I stay away anymore.  That in and of itself should tell you something)... I was also sharing in the moment, and the news and wanted to see some SPN love and positivity. What I ran into almost immediately was, and I quote: "If they don't make destiel cannon (sic) for the series finale, I'll set their houses on fire. You've been warned." 87 people agreed with @moosewncstr on this sentiment.  Now... if it was one shitty person and people steered clear of any affiliation with them for threatening arson because they're completely off their fucking rocker.... that would be easy to ignore.  But 87 people??  That’s really, really bad. What I'm seeing and have been seeing, is a hive-mind mentality that doesn't care for acceptance. Doesn't care if it’s abusive. Doesn't care if someone gets their “feelings” hurt. And they absolutely Do Not Care if what they say incites the potential reality of violence, as long as they can force their ship down the throats of as many people as possible and Make It Canon.  

And by hive-mind, I mean - NO ONE in the Destiel camp seems to have the degree of autonomy (AKA:  Balls) required to rein in the bad apples in their bunch.  They either agree or stay silent.  So, because you can’t self-regulate, people like me with no concern or desire for your approval have to come in and tell you to knock your shit off.  You won’t.  But I feel better.  And maybe others will feel more comfortable to express their disapproval when shit like this rears its ugly head. Anyone who would think threats (just a joke...hahaha), are acceptable, and those who are in agreement can suck it. And i will not roll over and sing kumbaya with anyone who thinks this is ok. I'm generally careful with the headers and lead-in paragraphs to posts that are potentially inflammatory. A courtesy that is not extended by your brethren. You had ample warning that this post would not be kind to asshole shippers. I don’t think you are one of those people - but, if you’re defending this behavior, I can’t really empathize with you.  I also don’t want you to feel targeted.  This isn’t about YOU.  This is about endemic behavior that has become so toxic, it pretty much can’t be undone. As for paying anything forward, I do not owe people who act like this the time of day, much less a kind word. I have 2 choices:  I can stand by and pretend I don't see these things and block, block, block so that I can stay in my bubble. Or, I can take my own little stand on my own little blog and address genuinely disturbing behavior using language of my choice. What I will never do is threaten or abuse any individuals who question my logic. Downside is... you'll get a very long winded explanation. Go, be happy. Enjoy your ship. No one is telling you not to. I'm telling you right now, though - I can't and won't tolerate the bad apples. Best to block me if you're sensitive to the way I word my posts, but understand - I'm not promoting hate or abusive behavior - I'm fighting it. And I will continue to do so as long as I'm on this dumpster fire of a website, because I love this show and I believe all of the creative's, crew and fans deserve some fucking respect.

[mittensmorgul]

1/2 I think the endgame issue is so difficult because the feelings about it often come from two different mindsets. People want to see what a relationship would look like between Dean and Cas, but also see a same sex couple represented. Also, people are gun-shy from past experiences where there's been the same kind of subtextual story only for there to be no resolution or confirmation. Or just flat out queerbaiting. People are tired of largely subtextual queer relationships.

2/2 This is taking destiel to a very general, bigger, more complicated conversation about queer representation and media. But on a smaller scale, focusing just on SPN, the show is just going by the formula and format they want to go by. Why are they waiting until endgame? Because they just are. Yet it's often spoken about on that larger scale when the actual issue is about SPN specifically and how they're choosing to do this. It's not always about grander scale, sometimes it's individual.(same anon) Not that i'm invalidating the people who's issues about destiel revolve around the much weightier "queer representation in media" thing. It's just that sometimes you gotta look at the specific, individual show and what it's doing and not necessarily "it's doing the same things those other shows did so it must mean (whatever)." It's tough. And we just don't know and won't know until we know.

Hi there, first off. :D And yeah, it is one of those “zoomed into the specific context of this one show and how they’re telling this story” versus the “zoomed all the way out to a very specific issue in the larger scope of media representation.” The frustrating thing is when the two are conflated specifically for the purposes of generating wank about one specific show and how they are seemingly progressing toward what could potentially be an unprecedented and absolutely unique sort of representation that’s practically impossible to even begin in this exact way in this day and age.

A while back (and I can’t remember who wrote it, so apologies...) I read a spectacular assessment of this exact situation. When Supernatural began, nearly thirteen years ago, the environment was very, very different from how it is today. The way queer stories were told in general was very, very different. Hollywood was only barely beginning the shift away from clinging to the Hays Code with regard to how non-straight characters and relationships were handled on tv, and we were only about seven years post-Ellen coming out (which essentially ended up sinking her sitcom). Queer characters were almost universally tragic characters, and they didn’t get happy endings, if they could even be portrayed as canonically queer and not only subtextually so.

And when Supernatural started, even in 2005 it was very much rooted in themes of the past-- everything from the ‘67 Impala to classic rock to the Winchester Brothers living in the eternal shadow of the tragedy that had touched their family in 1983. The entire concept of “Star Wars in truckstop America” evokes a very specific and gritty flavor of the past. This is what the show was built on-- classic horror tropes and uncovering the truth about urban legends and monsters. Even the “On The Road” references from Dean and Sam’s names to the concept of Sam’s “magical qualities” being paralleled to Dean’s more subtle queercoding right from the pilot episode have long been meta’d into the ground.

The thing is, Supernatural has now been running long enough for the general media culture to have made substantial inroads into progressively more honest queer representation. At any point, Supernatural could’ve made a genuine leap into canonizing Dean’s sexuality as something other than perfectly heterodudebro straight. Because if that’s what the subtext has actually been implying all these years (which from the pov of “queer reading” and “queercoding” of the past-- again, see the Hays Code-- it’s obvious they have been), then why are they hesitating in this modern era where shows are not only actively portraying queer characters more and more frequently, but are receiving critical acclaim and public praise for doing so? I mean, it sounds logical that if they actually intended to “take the story there,” then they should just go ahead and make it so. Right?

But for a show like Supernatural, that’s rooted in this “old school” format, and a narrative consistently told through that same lens, with the same applicable tropes, and the same genre conventions regarding queerness and horror that it was built on back in 2005, this would literally defy the integrity of the narrative.

And therein lies the frustration. This is why people shout queerbaiting. This is why people have quit the show in frustration of feeling like if they really intended to go there, there’s very little reason to hold back at this point.

Well, except for Authorial Integrity.

That’s a big one.

It’s also one I’d hate for the show to compromise on. Because pulling out core subtextual character traits after thirteen years of consistently yet very slowly dragging them into the light, and making them fully textual before the run up to the series end would absolutely compromise the entire structure of the narrative.

As a viewer and a queer person, yes I would LOVE to see a textualization of Dean’s queerness as a “coming out later in life” and “it’s never too late to openly acknowledge who you really are” narrative, because that would be incredibly powerful at this point. The fact that I am actively seeing this happen (albeit in glacial slow motion compared to how it might happen in more “modernly rooted” shows where characters are often textually queer from the word go) and happening within the same narrative conventions that Supernatural has always been written within is more than enough to sustain my interest for now.

I sincerely HOPE that the show will eventually “do the right thing” with this subtext. I HOPE that the eventual endgame will finally textualize this, but it is literally the endgame goal of this series. I don’t know how else to explain that even while newer series will have characters come out and then just carry on under this “new normal” for the character, this is something so completely rooted into Dean’s “endgame character goals” that at this point to make it textual would bring far too much of his own core character development to a premature conclusion.

In writing, when you create a character, you start out by asking questions:

Who is this person?

What essential traits make him who he is?

What does he fear?

What does he love?

What does he hope for?

What is the source of his happiness?

How can I keep him from achieving his goals in a believable way?

How does he hobble himself from achieving his own goals?

What is his ultimate endgame goal?

In tv writing, this is part of what’s known as the “Show Bible,” or the guide to characterization so that the characters and plots and general narrative structure of the series can remain consistent from writer to writer. That’s why we have consistently seen Dean progress from where he was in s1 to where he is now. He’s clearly become more and more comfortable with himself, more and more open about things he loves (think “no chick flick moments” in 1.01 and “you love chick flicks-- yeah I do” in 11.23). But they aren’t going to bring his character’s Major Personal Arc to fruition when the show is still being written without a concrete endpoint in place.

Because that’s being true and honest to the narrative structure and character development of both the genre of the show (classic horror) and the evolution of media in general since Supernatural began.

I know not everyone is comfortable watching the show continue as it always has with no guarantee of paying off more than a decade worth of subtext. Not everyone is willing to remain emotionally invested in a show that may eventually end on a huge queerbaity rug pull. But there’s an increasingly real chance that it won’t, either. I mean... if you can maintain expectations and understand there’s always a potential for disappointment in the end, it’s a lot easier to enjoy the story as it unfolds.

For other folks it’s probably easier to wait and see how everything turns out before emotionally committing to the show, and that’s fine too.

But I’m really tired of the blatantly unfair comparison of Supernatural-- a 13-year-old show being told through the conventions of the traditional horror genre that’s maintained a consistent narrative for thirteen years regarding the character development arcs and the specific way they’ve been telling this story this entire time-- and brand new shows that can essentially set up entirely different characters and write from a different baseline from the start, where a character’s sexual orientation hasn’t been sculpted into what has always been connected with the closing of that character’s narrative arc.

Yes, technically Supernatural could defy genre, defy their own storytelling, and explicitly make this textual right away, but that’s like... the dictionary definition of jumping the shark in this specific case. And that’s not something I want for Supernatural, or for Dean, or for Destiel.

[incarnateirony]

Terms, uses, and semantics

So, I’ve noticed a lot of terms get used in one wing, and interpreted differently by another wing. And then wing 2 bounces back wing 1 and it swings like an ever increasing, extremized pendulum. I figured I’d put down a couple of points I (personally) hold about these terms, such as:

“Toxic Codependency” and my feelings on it, when it’s misused, and when the word is reflexively adopted in “defense” by another party that isn’t necessarily an extremist,

“Performer Dean”, potential overapplication, and defensive reactions I’ve seen people take in occasionally misunderstanding the general idea *most* people are trying to get at with it,

“Canon,” “Romance,” and maybe a few others. If any of these words have ever triggered you, even quietly, when I’ve crossed paths with them, I’d like to clearly emphasize my personal intent with these, and a few points I think the whole “road to hell with best intentions” has flared up with others based on serial misunderstandings and reactions.

So, let’s start.

Toxic Codependency

We all know the term. Most of us hate the concept of it; followers of a ship in a certain wing praise it. Sometimes it doesn’t have the “toxic” applied but, by nature of “codependency,” it is in fact a toxic form of relationship. However, I do find that this swings into extremes.

Yes, there are periods - large ones - where Sam and Dean’s brotherhood was toxically codependent. There’s times they stepped back from that as well. People who support the brother bond have seem to adapt “I’d like to see a permanent end of codependency” to “I’d like to see an end to the brother bond,” which generally isn’t the intent.

On the other hand, I find that people are so reactive that at times, they have a difficult time discerning between “honest loving sacrifice in a horrific life” and “codependent decisions,” and this word has become so THICKLY adapted into discussion that it seems to rear its head almost any time a decision between the brothers is made.

An example of this is season 13; season 12-13 made a due point to give them everything, then take everything away, and show Dean was not okay just being there for Sam anymore nor did he feel suited to play the caretaker anymore. Season 13 became a mad dash to restore everything, to get everyone back, to have more than just each other. Both brothers featured this: Sam’s familial dream, Dean’s need for Cas and outright desperation to get Mary back; the mutual Team Free Will adoption of Jack. They need and want more. 

But people wary of the codependency started panicking at “if we die, we die together,” and simultaneously at Dean sacrificing himself (ergo not “together” but we’ll just slip away from that) as a sign of “them restoring the toxic codependency,” and I think this level of extremism really strips our ability to discuss the evolution of their relationships without crossing our arms in some sort of Ward Against Evil for impact from someone that’s going to get upset about the need for/hate of codependency.

Because that wasn’t codependency; he had Sam - and Jack; Dean’s mind didn’t singlehandedly whittle itself down to Sam. It saw big picture; Dean didn’t do much but nod numbly at Sam’s fateful line (that he ultimately refused the concept of with his decision), maybe with that token sardonic, reserved near-smirk he does when you know he’s turning over something darkly in his head (and generally about to do something radical - that smirk told me Dean had no intention of letting them die together, in the instant). This was a choice for not even just his brother, but his family (and, beneath that, the world.)

But the use of this phrase seems to be strapped on to so many aspects of the brothers’ relationships that it’s almost inescapable.

Yes, there are lots of toxic, codependent aspects they’ve waxed and waned into and out of over time and yes, from the view of someone who wants these characters to find happiness, I’d like them to grow past that. But not everything they do at any moment makes a toxic codependent theme. Two moments (that CLASHED with each other) don’t disrupt two years of cohesion. Sometimes, codependent or not, we make sacrifices, and that certainly wasn’t a single-minded purchase into it. Pressured, and rushed due to plot accordion, but-

That’s just the most recent example at the top of my head. Personally, my use of “toxic codependency” tends to be in extreme reservation, and more often than not, you’ll find me sifting down why I don’t feel something is that.

On the other hand, there’s the argument from one wing that it’s the premise of the show, and that’s deadass wrong. And I hold no bars in saying that. The brother bond is the premise of the show (and now extending into Found Family). These things do not demand the dependency. They break out of it eventually, ESPECIALLY with the Found Family evolution, the gained stability of the bunker as a home, and more. 

But I think the fandom pendulum has become so strong in that, for example, One wing says they hate the codependency that hurts them; an extreme opposite wing says it defines the show; the first wing says no, it doesn’t, and they can break out of it; the opposite wing extremizes one way, the first wing does the opposite, until both ends are reading toxic codependency into the first fart in a room, when the real question is “At what point is this healthy support and loyalty, and what point is it toxically codependent?” 

Mind: some meta authors etc in the fandom *do* approach it from this angle so it’s not a unilateral statement of “screw everybody,” but I felt the need to put that out there for anyone reading my stuff.

“Performer Dean” IS NOT AN INSULT. 

It does not “minimize” any part of Dean. Each and every one of us has performer attributes in the real world, some of us more than others. Performer Dean simply identifies the difference between his surface personalities and hidden enjoyments. This is something the show gave to us only a few episodes into season one. 

It’s a safety wall he’s built - and yes, he needs that - but the point of people generally talking about the sublimation of Performer!Dean is that they want Dean to eventually be able to grow to a place where he doesn’t feel the need to perform to his closest companions. It’s similar to growing past codependency.

Dean liked the vegetable water, despite gruffing at it. Something something manly. Dean scoffed and refused shorts, but there he was showing them off later. Illusions of who he needs to be, both for his little brother and the world, are a literal part of canon and discussing this is not necessarily an insult.

HOWEVER,

There’s likely some people that take it a little too far - maybe in wanting Dean to completely drop the points they’ve personally decided are his toxic masculine lines, rather than his personal repressions. And in a world of people with varying opinions, this is an infinite rabbithole of potential overstep. By and LARGE, not many people want to woobify Dean though. I’m of the brand where I’m happy with most of Dean’s current aspects, a few repressions and walls I’d like him to drop over time, but I actually enjoy his masculine attributes as part *of* why I like him as a Bi!Dean stan - because he’s not your “gay man stereotype,” he’s just like a lot of bi/gay dudes around the world are, that are left to throw up walls on the things that make them cautious about being too... well, “not manly.” You know, the over-reactive dudebro that doth protest too much... and then later you find him Doing The Thing.

Because that’s Dean, and that’s what a lot of people talk about with Performer!Dean. If anyone takes it too far, my apologies; but the concept of discussing performer Dean, and repressions of things that are too kiddish/feminine/whatever, are actually substanced in canon, and many meta authors want to see positive progress into happiness for a character rather than stagnance or, worse, regression.

These two major points minded,

despite my occasional use of terms like “toxic codependency” and “performer Dean,” or maybe *because* of them, my ultimate end hope for Dean is a man who’s comfortable to be who he is, with the people he cares about, without surviving on reactive desperation and clinging to “the one thing he has left”, but rather, in support of a growing family unit as he seems to yearn for, without fear of being judged for them - be it over shorts, vegetable water, Elsa, or maybe - depending on your read - who he’s attracted to and what that means to him and his “manliness.” It’s a release of the “toxic” edge of masculinity that just leaves... self-comfortable masculinity.

Supporting bi!Dean and Performer!Dean is in no way intended from me to ever be denigrating to his manliness (and frankly, I find the direct correlation of these ideas to be queerblind at least, lowkey phobic at worst); rather, wanting him to understand that there is no threat to that if he enjoys these things, and that he’s still a powerful individual and as masculine as he wants to be, even if that’s in friggin’ gym or car-washing shorts.

Canon, Romance, Subtext

Okay, so, I’ve gone into this at length in another post before, but I feel the need to do the ELI5 repeat while on a “how I talk and what I mean” post in case anyone missed it:

I adhere to the literary standard of what defines fictional canon (including subtext with authorial intent), and the dictionary definition of romance; to both of these I will always apply pillarings of existing examples, sometimes even from intertext used in SPN like On The Road, sometimes just in basic literary discussion. So if you see me using these words, understand it’s by the definitions in the link (or this shorthand version).

According to basic literary theory, Destiel is canonically romantic; this is different from canonically consummated or being an established, existing, metaphorically betrothed couple. If anyone reblogs or comments on this just to argue with me, I’m going to deadass ignore you, because you’re arguing with the dictionary and pretty much the entire literary field. Spamming an old gif running on two years outdated won’t fix that.

And yes, I would love to see that get a happily-ever-after too, just like the above points for codependency and performer attributes.

UNDERSTAND, HOWEVER,

That this is *not* to be conflated with the concept of representation/LGBT/etc. I understand everybody’s exhausted of the “hide your gays” thing. I personally understand that. I also speak about that as a problem. That does not, however, necessarily attach to any of the above-dressed issues. It is a separate, equally valid issue - distinct and separate, because social biases are a different beast. Just because I hold to “The dictionary and literary field defines X as Y,” does not mean I'm saying, “People who enjoy Y should settle only for X value,” and if you want to pursue Z (better on screen rep/completion/don’t Hide The Gay), that’s great. Doorkicking into any literary discussions I’m having with this blatant conflation and, frankly, sea lion, doesn’t really add to discussion integrity. When I’m talking about issues with “Hiding the Gay”, I invite you to related discourse; if I am holding discussions about literature through the ages, and intertext parallels, please reserve that for the appropriate conversation. If you insist on conflating all problems into one central problem, we just end up with 99 problems that are indiscernible from each other. And that’s just... I ain’t gonna humor that.

I have plenty of discussions out there about the problems with the Hide Your Gays in modern media; I’m not saying it doesn’t matter to me - as a member of the LGBTQ+ community, it does in fact matter to me. But rather than us having a trash-heap of 1,000 problems, I’d like to be able to sort and approach them individually.

More on canon, “fair interpretation”, and even “Death of the Author,”

So I’ve read things like “I have this idea and this reading out of this scene but I’m a realistic viewer and know the authors are probably going to go this direction with this, which is different than what I read/want.”

This is fine as long as we recognize you’re building an alternative canon. The first idea of canon structures is listings of books (or in our case, episodes/incidents) that build a complete work (or genre for review.) If you have habitually “missed the mark” on what the authors have been doing with the show, and where they’re going, you are free to continue to build your own interpretations and try to apply concepts like “Death of the Author” (although like I’ve gone on a tear about before, people generally do that wrong.)

That does not, however, contend with the application of authorial intent WRT subtext and thematics in central canon. You are free to build your own. If you are aware your own is not adhering to what the authors are doing in still-living progression, if you’re at peace with that - that’s fine. On the other hand, if Meta Author B has a habit of nail-on-the-head-ing projections well in advance while your expectations lend the other way, you pretty much have zero room to try to drop a Deuce on Meta Author B. 

Literature and entertainment is all interpretation, but if one interpretation continues to hold true to the test of time, and you recognize your interpretation or projection is not holding water to what the authors are doing, well - that kind of says it all? And you’re free to build new canon constructs and interpretations, but if we’re about to line up what authorial-intent-subtext we consider canon, The Way This Works is that the people who are generally right... are generally right, until they’re wrong, and the next applicable lit theory that resonates with existing author statements is the strongest front runner.

Cuz That’s How This Works.

And it definitely doesn’t work by screaming “OOC” at whatever points You Individually Don’t Agree With. Especially if, rather than a single fluke of dishinged ideas, you’re deleting entire recurring ideas or thematics or other expositions. 

In short: You’re free your own interpretations and rearranged canons, as long as you’re individually aware and own the fact that That’s What That Is. If you have to delete scenes, content, episodes, decisions, or creative-capacity statements, you are now operating outside of the range of actual authorial canon (and, by nature, the things you see/read/expect/want probably get shattered progressively more often until you adapt). You are free to enjoy your canon. You are free to build as many branches of that as you want. But trying to take a fractured side-canon to joust against consecutively more routinely accurate canon-analysis is just a recipe for a lot of butthurt, so just don’t, in that case?