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#except hastur and sandalphon and the metatron
wrengrif · 1 month
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As a Fandom...
Can we just normalize the fact that all of Hell and Heaven's denizens have some kind of mental/physical/both trauma?
Heaven has got brainwashing cult on lockdown and Hell is just the scene from some serial killers basement in every horror movie ever.
Both are horrible in their own way. Both have left scars on angels and demons. Both angels and demons have reacted to that trauma in very different ways.
So when I say this - and I say this with all due sincerity - can we please, please, stop wanting Crowley and Aziraphale to suffer worse than that for whatever their sins at the end of Season 2? Because either way you slice this melon of abusive behaviors, it's rotten all the way through. I don't want that for Crowley and I don't want that for Aziraphale.
I want them to get away from their equally shitty employers, and I don't want them to Hurt Anymore. I want their bad days to be like - they argued about whose turn it is to do the dishes. Or, one of them is sad because they're having a bad memory day but the other one is there to comfort them. I want Crowley and Aziraphale to get the chance to heal.
And frankly, I want that for everyone else in Heaven and Hell too.
.
.
.
.
Except Hastur. And Sandalphon. OH and the Metatron. Fuck those guys.
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ngkiscool · 2 years
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This time, all the fics happens after the apocalypse that wasn’t.
As always, all the fics are focusing on supporting characters, rated G or T and are SFW. The description includes rating, word count, main characters and main CW.  
In the next week the focus will be about stories with happy endings, please send recs for stories that focus on supporting characters (as in, Aziraphale and Crowley are not the main ones). Self recs are encouraged!
After the Longest Day of His Life by MickyRC - 479 words, G, focusing on Lesly the International Express Man and Maud. cw - Temporary character death.  Summary: Sometimes love is loud, and dramatic, and fiery. Sometimes it’s so worn in you could walk through it barefoot in absolute comfort. or: After delivering the most exhausting packages of his life, Lesley comes home.
Nature by Lady_of_the_Spirit - 853 words, G, focusing on The Them and The Horsepeople of the Apocalypse. Summary: "What I don't understand," Adam began, "is why you have to do the things you do." He bit into the scoop of strawberry ice cream perfectly placed on top of his cone and surveyed the scene in the garden before him. He was perched on top of the picnic table that had never seen a picnic before, but possibly would someday in the future. Summer was coming, after all, and summer picnics were certainly necessary for proper rehabilitation.
The Final Link by @anonymousdandelion -  focusing on Anathema Device and Newton Pulsifer. Summary: And ye, mine Childe Virtue and her Manne, shalle take and rede this Book, and teach of it to thy owne Children, and they in turne to theyrs. And the Chaine sharl continue Unbroken by alle mine Descendents, Parent to Childe to Grand Childe and so on and so forthe; unto the veriest coming of the Ende, so mine line shalle continue. But Anathema, Greatest of mine Grand Children, when thee time cometh ye shal be the final linke in the Chaine. Anathema has always known she was the end of the line; the final chapter of the story; the last leaf on the family tree. Except, maybe she isn't.
When The Sea Boils, The Kraken Will Rise (Against Its Inner Demons) by OtterFi - 435 words, G, focusing on the Kraken and Various Sea Monster. Summary: After the World Didn't End, Adam set the world right again. But he didn't undo it all. The World might be calling the Kraken events a mass hallucination, but some beings are still upset by the missing trade delegation.
When War Rode Alone by Darke_Eco_Freak - 1.6K, G, focusing on The Them and War. Summary: The Anti-Christ speaks and the Universe listens. Chaos is Order is Natural, but War is nature too, Human Nature, and she doesn't forget.
Old Habits by @ngkiscool (me!) - 500 words, G, focusing on Warlock. Summary: “Why on earth was there a knife on the door? It almost hit me!" “A silver knife ought to be on every sleeping room's lintel, everybody knows that!" Or: Warlock goes to university, and learns that not everyone grew up the same way he did.
Ghost in the Machine by @not-a-space-alien​ - 2.4K, G, focusing on The Them. Summary: The Them hunt some ghosts.
Some Complications by Aaymeirah - 4.5K, T, focusing on Beelzebub, Gabriel. Dagon, Michael, Hastur, Sandalphon, Uriel, Metatron, Lucifer, Aziraphale and Crowley. Summary: Beelzebub stalked towards the four angels waiting on the other side of the airstrip, flanked by Dagon and Hastur. “This better be good,” they hissed, crossing their arms. “Angels,” Dagon cursed at their approach. “Demons,” retorted Uriel. “We need to set aside our differences for a moment. There are bigger things to focus on,” said Michael, moderator for this meeting. “Like what?” sneered Hastur. “The Apocalypse, or the lack thereof you idiot,” responded Gabriel. “Be civil.” Micheal gave Gabriel a warning glance.“Fine, I’ll get to the point. It seems that the Final Battle and the subsequent destruction of Earth might not exactly be what God wants.”
All Bets Are Off by AnnaTheHank - 3.6K, T, focusing on Ligur and Michael. Summary: Ligur and Michael had a habit of making bets, even before the fall. Not much has changed. A.k.a Five times Michael won a bet against Ligur and the one time she didn't.
So glad you could make it by FancyTrinkets - 666 words, T, focusing on Hastur, Ligur and Dagon. Summary: When Ligur reappears, solid again and somehow undestroyed, his mouth is open wide and he's screaming out in rage and terror. He's also stuck behind a massive set of filing cabinets.
Authors - if you wish that your Tumblr account will be tagged, instead of the AO3, please comment or DM me the handle. Thanks :)
Bonus - master list with all past recommendations!    
Thanks for reading, and remember - sharing is caring!
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capinejghafa · 5 years
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good omens | dramatis personae
supernatural beings (heaven vs hell)
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pengychan · 3 years
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[Good Omens] Winging It - Luke 1:19
Summary: Shockingly, attempting to destroy an angel without consulting God first comes with consequences. There is more than one way to fall, and a thousand more ways to inconvenience an angel and a demon who just wanted to be left in peace. Characters: Gabriel, Crowley, Aziraphale, Beelzebub, Michael, Uriel, Sandalphon Rating: T  
Prologue and all chapters are tagged as ‘winging it’ on my blog.
A/N: Almost done! It's not quite wrapped up - an epilogue is coming - but we're almost there!
***
“I say you should let me destroy him.”
“It was not his fault. One of yours was controlling him.”
“Demons cannot create darkness from nothing. They always work on what’s already there, to make it grow and take hold. Hastur will be punished once I get my hands on him, but this human is not innocent either.”
“No one is innocent, that can hardly be held against him. Without the heavy-handed intervention of a Duke of Hell, any dark thoughts he may have had would have remained thoughts, never acted upon. Not the way things played out, at any rate.”
“Does it make any difference?”
“It does, and you know it. All the difference in the world,” was the reply. Beelzebub scoffed, but did not argue further. They just crossed their arms and stayed behind as Gabriel stepped right in front of the man who had stabbed him, who stood still with a horrified expression on his face. 
Gabriel picked up the knife that had been dropped on the ground, pocketed it, and pressed a hand on the man’s forehead. The horrified expression melted into a distant, blank gaze. 
“Now, if you please,” he said. Several steps away, with the expression of someone who’d rather be quite literally anywhere else in creation - except, perhaps, in the presence of Satan himself - Crowley lifted a hand and snapped his fingers, undoing the time-stopping miracle he’d conjured.
Right away, the stillness was broken. People who’d stopped mid-stride began moving again, cries of alarm that had been cut short rang out once again, and the man - Noah, was it? - staggered back, blinking at Gabriel as though he had no idea how he’d even come to be there. 
From his part, Gabriel gave him a wide, stupid smile. Blood had been miracled away almost as soon as the two of them had broken apart - which did, admittedly, take a minute or two - but the front of his suit was red regardless. To be entirely honest, when he’d asked Aziraphale for some red ink and then proceeded to splash it on the front of his suit, they all had looked at him like he had lost his mind. Beelzebub had thought God had taken his brain in exchange for the wings, but now they could at least see what the archangel had been planning. 
“Noah!” said archangel was exclaiming, face lighting up. “Long time no see! How are you?”
The man blinked another couple of times, reaching up to rub his head. “What am I doing-- where-- wait, I… I remember you, don’t I? You gave me your coat. But what just… my head...”
“Sir! Are you all right! What is-- oh.” 
A man - one of several humans who’d quickly approached to see what was happening, or at least had begun to before Crowley so conveniently stopped time - stopped in his tracks. Gabriel grinned. “Ah, I’m fine, I’m fine! I didn’t watch where I was going and the gentleman here knocked me over, that is all. Entirely by accident.”
“Oh. It... it looked like--” a few pairs of eyes paused on the red stain on Gabriel’s clothing.
"An unfortunate end for an ink cartridge, I am afraid, but no harm done other than that."
“Ah.” A long sigh, while Noah kept looking around in obvious confusion. “Ah, thank God. For a moment we thought you were wounded.”
“Thank God indeed, I am not wounded,” Gabriel replied, voice smooth, and reached to put an arm around Noah’s shoulders. “But forget the ink, I think we should catch up…”
The young man - who would soon leave Soho with a dulling headache, still unsure of what had happened, and with a winning lottery ticket in the back pocket of his jeans - followed, and the crowd dispersed, the incident closed as far as humanity was concerned.
Well. Most of humanity, at any rate.
***
“More tea, Warlock?”
“You gave me three cups already.”
“Right. Right. It is cold by now, isn’t it? I will make more.”
“... Brother Francis. You do realize I am not going to stop asking what the hell happened just because you keep giving me tea, right?”
Ah. Well. Perhaps it had been a slightly foolish hope, that. Tea did have a tendency to smooth over a lot of trouble, but that was probably a little beyond its scope. “Well,” he said, putting up a smile. “I for one would very much appreciate it if you could
“That bloke had wings.”
“Yes, well--”
“And he was stabbed, but then he was fine.”
“You see--”
“And that was not normal lighting.”
“Actually, I was just reading about this interesting phenomena calling ball lighting--”
“And you had wings,” Warlock cut him off once again, glancing over where Aziraphale’s wings would be if he hadn’t temporarily tucked them away on another plane of existence. “Where did you put them?”
“That is… quite the handful of questions.”
“A lot of weird shit happened.”
“Language, young man.”
“You tell me what happened, and I’ll start talking like a duke.”
“Not like the duke who caused this mess, I should hope,” Crowley spoke up, walking - more like sauntering, he never walked like that when he was his nanny - back into the bookstore. Brother Francis, whom Warlock was beginning to suspect was not called Brother Francis at all, finally set down the tea pot to look back at him. 
“Is everything sorted?”
“Yes. Nothing of consequence happened, happily ever after, and most importantly Beelzebub and the Archangel Fucking Gabriel have left.”
“Actually, I am still here.”
“Gah!” Crowley yelped, actually leaping a couple of feet up in the air before turning. The bloke-who’d-been-stabbed-and-then-suddenly-had-wings was standing in the doorway, the splatters of red ink gone from his suit and wings no longer visible. He looked… rather pleased with himself for the reaction he’d solicited. “Why are you still here? Wait, is Beelzebub--?”
“They are off to find the runaway, luckily for you. Your forked tongue keeps slipping far too often, Crowley. Keep that up and you may end up giving your little rouse away, sunshine.”
“Sunshine, me? Have you hit your--” Crowley began, only to trail off as though struck in the face. “Ah. Fuck,” he muttered, the annoyance giving way to something a lot more similar to fear. Behind Warlock, Brother Francis cleared his throat, passing the tea pot from one hand to the other and then back again.
“When… when did you figure it out?” he asked. That bunch of weirdos was making less and less sense with each passing moment.
“The third or fourth time he added that expletive between my title and my name in my presence, I suppose.” The man grinned, more than a touch smug, before shrugging. “You need not worry. I will make no mention of it with anyone.”
“We’d be… grateful if you didn’t,” Brother Francis said.
“Speak for yourself,” Crowley muttered, clearly mightily annoyed.
“I owe you too much to do such a thing.” The man made a gesture as though to zip his mouth shut. “My lips are sealed. Ah, and I am glad to see the young man is all right, of course.” The man nodded towards Warlock. “I’m relieved you were unharmed.”
“Huh. I… yeah. That’s gonna be a fun story to tell a therapist one day. Thanks for pulling me out of the way, I guess.”
“You are quite welcome. I am here to thank you as well, Aziraphale,” the man added, turning to Brother Francis, whose name definitely wasn’t Brother Francis after all. “For all your help.”
“Oh. It was nothing.”
“It was far more than I had any right to ask of you.”
“To be fair, you didn’t ask.”
“And you took me in anyway. You do have a lot to teach about the greater good after all, but I assume you’d prefer not to be further involved in the workings upstairs. Am I correct?”
A nod. “Quite correct, as a matter of fact.”
“Well then, I will leave you be. Time to see if I learned the lesson I was meant to learn, I suppose.”
“... Back to your hold position, then?”
“I suppose. I will have to see what Metatron will tell me once I return to Heaven. If I am indeed to return to my duties, I will need to serve notice at the warehouse back in Southampton.”
Ah, great. So everyone here is going insane. Cool, cool. 
As Warlock sipped lukewarm tea just to keep himself from laughing a little hysterically, the man he’d known as Brother Francis and who probably was neither thing nodded, and held out a hand. “Best of luck, then,” he smiled. “And thank you for saving Warlock. Crowley and I are quite fond of the boy. You have more than repaid any debt you may have had.” 
Behind the man Crowley opened his mouth as though to protest, paused a moment, and then begrudgingly closed it. Warlock was not entirely sure why that made him grin into the cup, but it did. Not that it kept him from yelping and dropping said cup to shatter on the floor with a loud ‘fuck’  when a bolt of lighting suddenly struck inside the bookshop, blinding him for a moment.
When he opened his eyes again, blinking a few times, the man was gone and the bolt of lightning seemed to have caused no damage. Well, aside from the shattered cup he had dropped, which now Brother Francis was picking up and… magically putting back in one piece. 
Okay. Okay. Okay. 
“What the--”
“Language if you please.” The man who had once been his family’s gardener cleared his throat, and put the mended cup on the table before glancing at Crowley. “Well, I suppose we do owe him an explanation.”
“He’s just a kid.”
“So are Adam’s friends, and they clearly could handle it.”
A sigh. “Fair,” Crowley muttered, and sat down as well before he reached up to take off his glasses. Warlock had never seen him without glasses, even when he was his nanny… and as he took a look at his eyes, he suddenly knew why. He stared, mouth hanging open, as Crowley scratched the back of his head. “All right, it’s a long story,” he began. “So, in the beginning - which is to say, the Beginning with a capital B…”
***
“Archangel Gabriel. It is good to see you again.”
“Metatron. It’s good to see you as well. Am I really meant to return to my old position?”
“That is the will of God. With immediate effect.”
“Ah, I am afraid I need some time.”
“Oh?”
“I need to hand in my notice at my current workplace. It would be unprofessional of me to simply walk away on them.”
“Ah, I see. I am certain that can be arranged - would it help if they happened to find a perfect fit for the job right after you notice is handed in?”
“It would be much appreciated.”
“Consider it done. Anything else?”
“... Does God have any instructions as to what plan I am meant to follow now?”
“You know the answer, Gabriel. You need to forget there was ever a plan, and do what you think is right. You, and everybody else.”
“We may get it wrong.”
“That’s part of the package, is it not?’
“Hah. Fair enough.”
“Rest assured, however, that any mistakes made in good faith will not be dealt with as… severely as your previous crime.”
“That is a relief. However, I ought to disclose that I have grown quite... close... to Lord Beelzebub in my time on Earth. Certainly, God must be aware.”
“God knows all, including your most questionable taste.”
“... Are those God’s own words, or…?”
“My own. But I am here to speak for God, so my apologies for the lapse.”
“Right. And… the Lord does not believe this impedes my return to duty?”
“Clearly not, if you’re standing here before me.”
“... I am not going to renounce Beelzebub. I told them as much and I will repeat it before the Lord.”
“God is aware of that as well. They have been following your eventful stay on Earth very closely. It will be interesting to see how Heaven and Hell are both going from here. Change is the only certainty going forward. That, and the fact you were never forsaken. No one ever is.”
“I understand.”
“Good. Now, Archangel Gabriel - do you wish me to announce your return?”
“No, no, no need. I believe I will drop by to see my colleagues myself.”
***
“Hastur is nowhere to be found in Hell, Lord Beelzebub.”
“Hmph, of course he’s not so dumb he’d try to return. I want everyone to know that when found, he must be captured and brought to me.”
“As you wish. On what charge?”
“He disobeyed my direct order by approaching the traitor. Now go spread the word.”
“Of course, Lord Beelzebub.”
With Dagon gone, the Prince of Hell and Lord of the Flies sat back heavily on their throne and rubbed their forehead, trying to quell a growing headache and make some sense out of the event of what was supposed to be an uneventful day, at least according to the original plan.
Plans really cannot be trusted anymore, it seems.
With a grunt, Beelzebub turned their gaze on the small table right by, where - among a few mugs of dubious taste - sat a folder. Last they had laid their eyes on it, the name Gabriel F. Archer had been written on it in blood, or rather in red ink that was purposely meant to look like blood. Now, however, the folder was blank - as were the papers in it, no doubt. There no longer was any human by that name whose sins they had to keep track of. 
There was only the Archangel Gabriel. 
By all logic, that ought to be the end of everything that there may have been between them. Except that the idiot had grasped their hands before they returned to Hell, looked at them in the eye and said, “I will not deny you”.
“Even your precious concierge upstairs denied Yeshua when push came to shove. Three times.”
“I will never.”
“What if it leads to another fall?”
“I survived the first. I can take another.”
“You’re a fool.”
“I am aware.”
Beelzebub scoffed, but a smile was curling their lips as they reached to take the blank, useless folder. It burst into flames the next moment, igniting a few of the flies buzzing around their head before they let it fall on the round - there it crumbled quietly, into ash.
***
“Ugh, where’s the folder…”
Michael rubbed her forehead with a groan, coming to the realization she was really not really meant for record-keeping. Truth be told, that was a conclusion she had come to on almost a weekly basis since Gabriel had been dismissed. She’d take on fourteen wars to end all wars rather than having to keep grappling with what had been the bulk of Gabriel’s job, but alas--
“Any particular folder you’re looking for?”
Ah, speak of the devil. Or rather, speak of the archangel. 
“The one concerning renovations of the third sphere,” Michael muttered, looking up at the wall full of… nothing but folders. Paper copies were kept even after everything had been digitized, and Michael had figured finding the physical copy would be quicker than trying her luck with the password she had written down and then misplaced a week earlier.
Gabriel chuckled. “It’s just a little on your left, fifth shelf from bottom, about midway.”
Ah, yes, there it was. “Thanks,” Michael said, and reached to take it out. 
Then she froze. And blinked. And then she slowly, slowly turned.
Standing in the doorway of his office, impeccable in a light grey suit and pink tie, Gabriel grinned. “Security has gone downhill since I left,” he said. “Just letting a mortal wander right in.”
Michael opened her mouth, but no sound came out. She worked her jaw a few moments, trying and failing to find words. “You’re not a mortal,” she finally managed. He clearly was not, giving off the kind of power only a celestial being could give. 
Gabriel’s grin widened. “No longer,” he said, and suddenly unfolded his wings, causing Michael to recoil in surprise. Not his old wings, the ones she cut and tore away herself; it was something different. The golden brown of the feathers was at odds with the immaculate white of their surroundings, but it was wings nonetheless and not the scorched black that set demons apart. The being before her was the same being she had known since almost the beginning of time. 
I am Gabriel, who stands in the presence of God.
For a long moment, Michael could only stare. Gabriel’s grin faded a little before he cleared his throat and folded his wings, maybe somewhat embarrassed by the display. “My apologies for startling you, I figured I’d--” he began, but Michael crossed the distance between them in a couple of strides, and pulled him in a tight embrace before he could add anything else.
Not something Michael was usually keen on doing, that, but she felt the situation warranted it - and as he returned it after only a moment of confusion, she knew he thought the same. “No one will take your wings ever again,” Michael heard herself saying, and Gabriel chuckled. 
“Not even if God orders so?”
“Especially not if God orders so.”
Until little less than a year earlier - the blink of an eye, really, in the context of his existence - Gabriel would have been both horrified and stunned to hear such words from Michael of all people, and would have hardly believed she meant it. Now he clearly did know she meant it, and he seemed neither horrified nor stunned. He pulled back with a smile. 
“It’s good to be back.”
“Good to have you back.” Michael cleared her throat and straightened herself, deciding she had shown enough unguarded emotion for the decade. “But… how did this occur?”
“Ah, it is a long story.” A pause. “Actually, not all that long. It happened fairly quickly, but there is some background you... rather need to hear.”
“Of course. There have been developments in Hell, too - it seems they may be harboring thoughts of--”
“I know. Beelzebub told me.”
Michael blinked. “Beelzebub… told you?”
“Yes. They brought it up during the train ride to London.”
“A train ride to London,” Michael repeated, faintly wondering if Gabriel was feeling well. Angels did not get fever and much less have fever dreams, but mortals did - a detail Michael had learned after the eleventh time her appearance had been mistaken for a such episode - and perhaps Gabriel was suffering from some… drawbacks, after almost a year spent as a mortal.
But then again, back when he had still been scared of them, the scars on his back still fresh, he did hide from Sandalphon… and behind the Lord of the Flies of all beings. 
But he’s here. God willed him back. Surely he did not fraternize… did he?
Michael opened her mouth to ask, but Gabriel lifted a hand with a sigh. “I know, I know. There is… quite a lot I have not told you about. I’ll explain everything, I promise - at least the parts of everything I understand myself. But first, I would like to visit--”
“Michael, I think I found the password!” Sandalphon’s voice rang out, causing Gabriel to trail off and turn back towards the door. Sandalphon was walking in with some papers under his arm. “You had misplaced--” he began, looking up, and trailed off. 
Gabriel grinned. “Hey,” he said, and all the papers Sandalphon had been carrying fluttered to the floor. If Michael had gone for an embrace, Sandalphon - ever devoid of sense of measures - went for a full-on tackle. Gabriel didn’t seem to mind, though, and Michael opted to push aside all worries and questions for a few minutes, especially as Uriel came to see what the mess was all about. It was rare to see her smile so openly, and Michael decided to leave it at that. After all, they just got Gabriel back. 
Everything else could be sorted out later.
***
“You son of a bitch!”
“You know, given the circumstances of who is personally and directly responsible for my existence, what you just said is about a dozen different kinds of blasph-- oof!”
Of course Gabriel couldn’t really be out of breath anymore, but if he could, Daniel’s bear hug would have knocked all air out of his lungs. He laughed, patting his back. “Nice to see you too.”
“Archangel Gabriel-- look at you, I can’t believe it,” he barked out a laugh and dropped Gabriel back on the floor. “Jesus Christ, I thought you were drunk!”
“Well, I was. Too drunk to know better than telling the truth. I’d never had alcohol before, let alone in a mortal vessel.”
“Hah! I did wonder how come a can of beer got you rambling like that. So what, I passed some sort of divine test?”
“It was no test, but if it were you’d have passed it with flying colors.” Gabriel smiled, and nodded politely towards the woman in the room with Daniel. “Liv, I presume?” he asked, but of course he already knew the answer. Daniel had a photo of his wife in his wallet, taken before the cancer diagnosis was ever uttered.
“It was probably already eating away at her, but you’d have never known looking at her,” Daniel had once said in a rare moment of talkativeness about the subject. Gabriel had agreed that the woman in the photo did indeed look radiant, and that was precisely how she looked now. Of course, most souls that make it to Heaven do. 
“That would be me. Pleased to make your acquaintance.”
“Pleasure’s all mine.”
“What are you doing here?” Daniel was asking. “I mean, you were cast out - they decided to hire you again?”
“In a manner of speaking. I’ll have to hand in my notice back in Southampton, I am afraid, but I do plan to keep in touch with our colleagues. Hopefully they will all come here when their time is up. Although I must say, Łukasz is on thin ice if he keeps on putting cream in carbonara.”
“Oh, I’m sure you can put in a good word for him if needed, no?”
“Me? Ah, I don’t know. Maybe,” Gabriel replied, all fake innocence, and Daniel laughed.
“Never had a friend in a high place before. This is a nice change of pace,” he said, dropping a hand on Gabriel’s shoulder before his expression turned… a little more serious. “I’ve got to thank you for all your help. Finding my brother.”
Ah, that. “It is all right. I am only regretful he was not found on time for you to meet in person.”
A pained expression crossed Daniel’s features, there one moment and gone the next. “... Well, I do hope… he will come here? Eventually?”
“Oh, yes. He and his wife are well on track to gain access to Heaven.” Unlike your parents, Gabriel thought, but Daniel had not asked once about them and he chose not to bring them up. “Actually, they want me over for lunch next weekend. I figure I ought to go.”
“Ah, of course.” Daniel seemed to hesitate. “Tell him I said hi. I mean, I know you can’t say that, but if you could just-- try and-- let him know. You know what I mean?”
Yes, he did know. “Of course. And one day they will probably both want to smack me for not coming clean,” Gabriel said. “Ah, before I forget - would you like to have Lawrence’s old dog?”
Daniel blinked and looked over at Liv. She shrugged, at a loss. “Lawrence’s… what?”
“His old dog. It has passed away, and as all dogs find their way to Heaven, it is only a matter of finding out its name…”
***
“He’ll keep calling you Brother Francis for a while before he gets used to your name, isn’t he?”
“Most likely. I cannot  blame him, it was a lot to take in. I certainly do not mind, when it came to choosing a name I picked that of someone I do admire a great deal.”
“That weird hippy who talked to birds? Should have known when you kept welcoming pests into the garden.”
“Heh. Maybe you should have been the gardener after all, as long as you promised not to terrify the Dowlings’ poor plants too much.”
“And leave the role of nanny to you?”
“Well, why not?”
“You wouldn’t have looked half as good in that dress, angel.”
Leaning next to him on the huge bed in their cottage - Crowley had not expected Aziraphale to join him on it, truth be told, but he had no complaints; maybe the day had just been that draining - Aziraphale chuckled. “Well, I would say we did a decent job with the boy. He took it better than I expected he would, all things considered.”
“We did keep out some parts of the story.” Namely, the fact they had briefly talked about… getting rid of him, when they believed him to be the Antichrist. Not that either of them had followed through, or even wished to.
“True. But all things considered, he was more excited than anything else.”
“He’s still eleven, of course he was excited. He’ll be back with even more questions.”
Aziraphale nodded. “Maybe we could have him over here next time. At the cottage.”
“Can’t see why not.”
“... We could have wiped his memories off. Do you think he will really keep all this to himself?”
“He’ll be thrown in the madhouse if he tells, to use his own words. He’s a smart kid. Takes after me.” Crowley grinned. “He’ll keep it under wraps like Adam and his friends did. More smart kids. I wonder how they’re doing.”
“Well, I am reasonably certain we’ll find out in September. I would be very surprised if they didn’t receive a wedding invitation themselves.”
“Wedding invitation?”
“Ah, yes, it came in the mail. I forgot to bring it up - remember that dear Anathema and… Newton, I think the name is? They kindly invited us to their wedding.”
“Did they? How nice. I will need to find a good dress.”
“Don’t you upstage the bride now, you know it’s not nice.”
“I am not nice.” Crowley hissed, and Aziraphale just chuckled before he stretched. Crowley considered asking once again if he was sure Gabriel would indeed keep their secret, but decided not to. Aziraphale seemed certain, and he was… willing to trust his judgment, this time.
“Ah, perhaps this is a good occasion to find out if sleep is indeed all that you make it out to be,” Aziraphale was saying. “You’ll ensure I wake up in the morning, won’t you?”
Crowley blinked a moment, taken aback. Then Azirapahle raised an eyebrow, clearly confused by his sudden silence, and he cleared his throat with a quick nod. “Of course,” he said, having absolutely no intention to rouse Aziraphale any earlier than necessary. 
With complete control over his human form, Aziraphale was of course able to will himself to sleep within moments, his expression absolutely peaceful. Crowley could have done the same, but he… didn’t. Not yet.
A good night’s sleep was indeed all it was made out to be and then some more, but at the moment he didn’t mind staying awake just a little longer.
***
“So you were re-hired for your job? That sounds exciting. You must be happy to go back. Have more cake.”
“Ah, thank you. It did feel a lot like coming home, but it will be keeping dreadfully busy. I believe the entire business is long overdue for some rather radical changes.”
“Hmph. From what you have said before, it sounds as though you were fired without just cause.” Lawrence sipped some tea, leaning back against his seat. “I certainly hope they will not pull the same stunt again.”
“Ah, to be completely fair, there was due cause. I was simply in denial over it. Hardly anyone likes admitting to being wrong.” Gabriel took a spoonful of the block of carrot cake Berenice had just dropped on his plate, going his best to pretend he didn’t notice Doyle peering up at him from under the table, drooling copiously and trying with very little success to play the part of the starving stray. “And I have learned much in my time away. I believe management thinks that’s what makes me qualified for the work ahead.”
Lawrence shrugged. “Well then, if this is what you feel works best, I can only wish you the best of luck. Should you need anything at all, don’t hesitate to let me know,” he added.
Gabriel smiled. “Thank you,” he said, glazing over to the framed photo of Lawrence and Berenice’s wedding day - namely Doyle’s predecessor, the huge Newfoundland who’d been their ringbearer on the day,. “... If I may ask, what was that dog’s name?”
Please don’t be Fido. I cannot bear thinking about how many dogs called Fido are in Heaven. 
“Huh?” Berenice followed his gaze to the photo. “Oh, that was Chewbarka. A very good boy. Slobbered an awful lot, but he was still the gentlest boy.”
Well, that was going to make the search easier. Gabriel promised himself he’d make sure Chewbarka was found and taken to Daniel as soon as he returned, ate more of the cake, made more small talk, and shook his head with a smile when Lawrence asked him if he’d like to stay for dinner. 
“No, thank you. I really do need to go back.”
A laugh. “Ah, of course. You’re a busy man now.”
Gabriel grinned back. “That too, but as of this evening, I just have a date.”
***
“You told the other archangels about me?”
“Yes. There was no reason to keep hiding--”
“How dare you!”
“They would have found out eventually--”
“You denied me the pleasure of seeing their faces as you told them,” Beelzebub muttered, causing Gabriel to trail off, stare a moment, and laugh. 
“Hah! My apologies. It did not occur to me you’d have appreciated being present.”
“Hmph. And how did they take it?”
“I think ‘shell-shock’ best describes their reaction, but they’ll get used to it. I think. I mean, I am not leaving them much of a choice.”
I won’t deny you, Gabriel had said, and kept his word. Beelzebub snorted, but did not protest when Gabriel’s arm rested across their shoulders. They glanced up at the setting sun instead.
“... Everything from here is uncharted territory,” they said. No plan, no guarantees, no nothing. 
“Yes.” Gabriel grinned. He was doing that an awful lot lately, with childish glee. It was annoying and it made him look stupid, but Beelzebub found they didn’t mind. “Isn’t it exciting?”
***
And the angel answered and said to him, “I am Gabriel, who stands in the presence of God, and was sent to speak to you and bring you these glad tidings." -- Luke 1:19
***
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wick-de-la-vela · 5 years
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Backstage Good Omens AU Character Meta
@pomrania I hope you enjoy this as much as I have :3
This was going to be an everything post, but I think just the character meta alone is good for now, and there may be more to come,, or maybe an actual fic,,, who knows
The angels are our actors, always in "the Light", while the demons are techies, dressed in black to blend in with the perpetual darkness. 
Beelzebub is the stage manager, perpetually holding a coffee cup and muttering instructions into their com. There are bags under their eyes. They're incredibly no-nonsense, always scowling, but they know how to whip their techs into shape, and shit always gets done when it needs to, even on the most shoestring of shoestring budgets. 
Gabriel is that one male lead that thinks he's God's gift to man when he was really only cast because there were like three guys that auditioned and he was one of the more Bearable. He's really good at projecting, and he conflates that with being a good actor, even though he's got Stage Voice Disease and he's got it bad. His movements and expressions are always just a bit too stilted, like he has trouble remembering how to act like a human being on stage. Loves the Sound of Music (obviously).
Dagon is props master I think, in charge of writing notes and making purchases and getting shit done. She lives for lecturing the actors on "prop"er etiquette (heh), and when things get left out, she'll hide them. The actor can either beg to get it back, or they can go onstage holding an imaginary wine bottle or revolver or whatever. 
Uriel loves playing stoic characters, and she has a knack for stage makeup. In the dressing room, when Lucy is too busy, she's the one everyone goes to in order to get age lines or contouring or what have you. She especially loves Weird makeup, from ghost/undead stuff to colorful shimmery fairy stuff. 
Ligur is Master Carpenter. He may not look it, but he's awfully meticulous. He's had to be ever since he lost a finger in a table saw accident a few years back. Now, he delights in terrifying anyone that crosses his path, except Hastur. He's never really been able to terrify Hastur. 
Michael loves, I repeat, LOVES stage combat. They're a master of knaps, and they can make any slap, punch, shove, or hair pull look realistic. They've taken a few classes on stage swordplay as well, just to see how it differs from the real thing. Outside of theatre, they Actually fence, and they attend martial arts classes. 
Hastur is the sound designer/board op. He enjoys lurking in the booth (though not so much when Crowley's up there with him) and going out for smokes with Ligur. He's not the most imaginative fellow, but he gets the job done.
Sandalphon is the sort who thinks he's a regular funnyman, but his comedic timing is just a smidge off every time. He laughs too loudly, and it never reaches his eyes. In reality, he's only there because Gabriel is his boss at his outside job and he thought this might be a good opportunity to squeeze in some extra brown-nosing. 
The disposable demons are a set of identical quintuplets that fill in the gaps in the run and fly crews. They also assist any of the head techs with their work.
Lucifer is the head costumer. He gives off major Freddie Mercury vibes, and his personality has this gravitational pull to it. He mostly keeps to himself, but when he says something, people listen. Even Beelz seems to defer to him. 
God is the director, and a flake since about the first week after casting (haha like the seven days of Creation.) She'd show up irregularly, with longer and longer intervals of absence between each appearance. It's been so long since the last one that the techs started to joke that she never existed in the first place. The Metatron fills in for her, assuring everyone that he knows her wishes and will be sure to carry them out.
Finally, the Meat of it :3
Crowley, our main man, our fella, is our lighting designer/master electrician (who wears glasses because he has a light sensitivity issue, go figure.) He lovingly combs through each script to figure out lighting plots. He tries using gobos and LEDs and colored washes wherever possible, anything to add more color and dynamic to the standard boring full stage wash. Also he thinks it's a wonderful way to accentuate the beauty of the angel but shhh. Anyway yeah he's completely smitten with the fussy actor that makes him Feel Things with his dumb Words and his fluffy hair and sparkling blue eyes and aGh the Yearning. But of course an actor as talented as him would never look twice at some nobody lurking in the shadows around the likes of Hastur. 
Aziraphale very much Would look twice at Crowley. Much more than twice. Whenever he gets the chance to, really. It's just that he's so angular and slinky and his hair is such a rich red, like a forbidden apple hanging just out of reach. But someone who exudes that aura of calm cool collectedness surely wouldn't be interested in some stuffy old bookseller, right? He doesn't even own a phone from this decade, for Christ's sake. No, no. Anything more than acquaintanceship has no place outside of his fantasies, surely. 
(They're both big dumb but this is why we love them)
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