#except i think that was more about subtly wanting someone else to know his pain so they could understand him

[master-missysversion]

The doctor meeting Gat and immediately telling her that Gallifrey would be destroyed in the future was kinda unhinged. I kinda love it. "You are only serving at the glory of bone and ash" she's crazy

"Misery loves company" on an extreme level

[notaspectator]

idea: Omen copies people and tries to imitate people he likes. at first, it'd be hard to tell. but he's picked up on Viper's speech, and from time to time (...as funny as all the other agents find it) he'll repeat what brimstone has said to him. little speech things. but it becomes more obvious when it comes to behaviors. like, how if someone talks to him but does the "talking with hands" thing, he'll try to copy it. except he doesn't speak, because he doesn't understand the two things are connected. it becomes an uncanny imitation that reminds everyone else that Omen is not like them, and Omen cant understand what he's doing wrong. He's doing what he's seen others do, so why do they find it so strange when he does it? When people breath in a certain, noticable way, Omen pretends he's breathing the same way. It takes time for anyone to notice, but Omen does copy it and never understands why it unnerves the others. and say, when they're on a multiple day mission, he'll copy how people prepare to sleep. because he doesn't understand, and he just wants to pretend that he is like them, even if it means laying there for hours in silence because everyone sleeps, except for him, so that must mean that sleeping is a trait of living things. now, this also comes around a LOT with specific agents. like cypher. since Cypher y'know has a mask with eyes that pretend to blink, i like to imagine he also is very expressive with his body language to make up for the fact he has a mask. and Omen would copy the way Cypher likes to tilt his head, or the eccentric way Cypher waves his hands about. Cypher finds it interesting, and would often subtly do unique things such as a certain gesture or a walking to a certain pattern just so that he could see Omen imitate it later, either with him or elsewhere. The only time these little imitations seem *real* and *lifelike* is when Omen isn't trying to do them. Like how Omen will often imitate breathing just on his own, or the way he likes to keep a hand on the wall as he walks by because it is grounding and he likes to know where he is relative to the walls around him, or how he leans toward things he finds interesting so that he can focus better and hear them clearer. Omen doesn't realize that he is trying to put together a collage of everyone's unique traits in a desperate bid to make himself seem human- he doesn't realize that the little things HE does are what make him seem alive. that those little things are proof that he is not just going through the motions and making a fake personality from bits and pieces of everyone else, because he has his own thoughts, opinions, and little quirks that no one else shares. Omen really hasn't existed very long, has he? and yet, he's already killed countless people. from copies of friends, to copies of himself. how could that not fuck somebody up? he went through unimaginable pain, and cannot even hold himself together on a bad day (quite literally), and has looked himself dead in the eye and shot a replica of himself dead. When he has only known the VALORANT protocol- has only known Viper, who isn't known for her empathy- how could he have ever figured out what makes people human? where would he have managed to come up with the idea that his emotions are his own? where does that leave time to realize that he does not have to desperately copy people so that he can be SOMEONE? or really, so he can pretend that he is alive, in some compacity? and I love the idea that Cypher, who struggled with the same problems, sees Omen struggling and he helps him. Cypher is all too familiar with thinking he is not like the others, and has already grappled with the idea that something about him is wrong. and maybe he isn't quite over that idea, yet. maybe he's just pretending he is, but he'll TRY so that he can help Omen, because he just cant let Omen struggle with those thoughts alone. and Omen realizes, that even if he might not be human nor technically alive, that it is okay because Cypher loves him either way, and thats enough for Omen to want to keep going.

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

Ari :(( thinking about suguru again I fear,, when am I not,, thats not the point,, but thinking about you getting an injury maybe breaking an arm or something and he’s so worried. Doesn’t want his baby hurt :(( frets and freaks out like not really freaks out cause I think he’d be calm but he cares. Wants to know how it happened and if you’re in pain. If someone else caused it he’s out to kill. You ask him to sign your cast and he almost sobs. Doesn’t let you lift a finger. He never lets you lift a finger but even more so now. Helps you shower or take a bath and is just so careful. Loves to wash your hair for you. Puts in effort too to learn how you do your hair. Helps you get dressed even if you’re like I can do that >:(( cause he doesn’t want you to overwork yourself. Helps you carry things. If you came to him crying when it happened his poor heart would shatter. Getting a cast to match his eyes :((. He wouldn’t like that you’re hurt but I think he’d like taking care of you more. Like he understands you wanting to do things for yourself and thats why he never pushed before but now he has a reason to push. Complaining about how you look with the cast thinking it makes you look ugly or something and he’s instantly like. Take that back. Take it back. Cause you’re cute always don’t you see? He just wants to nurse you back to health. He loves you so much.

:((((((( REMMMMMM R U GENUINELY OUT TO GET ME WTF ……… this made me so sniffly i love him so bad 💔💔 (this got long also oops)…

no bc rem as literally always we’re holding hands and our brains are syncing …. i can’t tell you how many times i’ve daydreamed abt this exact scenario LIKE IT’S SOOOO PERFECT FOR HIM and you literally described it so well i wanna cry …. there’s fluff potential and there’s angst potential but more than anything it’s just a whole bunch of hurt/comfort and you alr know what that trope does to me 😔😔

but gosh….. he would just be. so so worried and doting :(((((( and he would feel so guilty :(((((((( like no matter how you got the injury i feel like he would blame himself for it. for not being there or not watching over you enough. even if you tell him that it wasn’t his fault…… and then he overcompensates by coddling you even more than usual…… T—T ”doesn’t want his baby hurt” hhhhhh sugu viewing his s/o as his baby specifically makes me lose it like he’s sooo serious abt being your caretaker….. it’s his job to protect you and he failed……. :((( poor baby would beat himself up over it so much 💔💔

frets and freaks out like not really freaks out cause I think he’d be calm but he cares. Wants to know how it happened and if you’re in pain. If someone else caused it he’s out to kill. You ask him to sign your cast and he almost sobs. (…) If you came to him crying when it happened his poor heart would shatter.

☹️☹️☹️☹️ OUR BABYYYYY no bc i think he would absolutely panic but he’d do it silently…. you’re so right rem………. you’re sniffling and trying to explain what happened and he’s trying not to push you but he’s just so so worried and he needs to know what’s going on to feel okay again :((( needs to know what happened so he can figure out how to proceed. bc his chest just feels so tight and he knows it’s not going away until you’re smiling again.. sob.

AND OH BOYYYY if someone else caused it……………. yeahhh he’s out for Blood i fear. even if it was an accident i think he would hold everyone except for you accountable. your friend convinced you to pull a risky stunt? he subtly tries to steer you away from their company (if you stay friends he’s civil but prefers not to interact with them at all/only smiles at them coldly if he has to). you fell while rock climbing bc the safety gear wasn’t tight enough? he’s calling everyone involved just to make sure you get compensated. goes full karen mode honestly like he is speaking to the manager today. the ceo. the Man in Charge. and god forbid if someone like.. directly hurt you…… idk if suguru is the type to beat them up for it (he’s 100% tempted though) but at the very least he’s making sure they never get close to you again. files a restraining order and everything. obviously sues them too. i feel like he would work with law in a no curses au so it just makes sense to me yk??

WAIT ALSO asking him to sign your cast :(((( that’s so CUTE and him almost sobbing….. rem……. i love him so much my heart hurts. you ask him to do it all smiley and happy and he gives you a smile in return but it’s just a little wobbly. writes his signature while you’re all :33 but then you look up and his eyes are glassy…. and if you point it out he just sniffles and apologizes…… 🥺🥺🥺 he’s a baby. our baby.

Doesn’t let you lift a finger. He never lets you lift a finger but even more so now. Helps you shower or take a bath and is just so careful. Loves to wash your hair for you. Puts in effort too to learn how you do your hair. Helps you get dressed even if you’re like I can do that >:(( cause he doesn’t want you to overwork yourself.

T—T remmmm….. you’re gonna be the death of me i swear like these hcs are all SO cute. he’s the only Man ever. ohhh he would be so so gentle like it’s actually insane :(((( cradles you in the bath….. smiles when you get all relaxed and sleepy but then he glances down at your arm again and goes all :c bc he just hates this so much. not taking care of you but just. knowing that you’re in pain….. i think he feels very intense physical discomfort so he just tries not to think about it and puts his all into tending to you instead. wraps you up in a fluffy towel and dries your hair and clothes you in his big cozy hoodie.

i think it could get a little frustrating bc he really would straight up baby you. which i would eat up personally but it’d also be a little overwhelming. he doesn’t give you much of a choice though bc he’s so intent on making his baby feel better :((

aaaa now i’m just imagining you getting a little hissy at him…. bc he’s coddling you to the point where maybe you feel a little disrespected? like he just insists on feeding you or whatever and it’s cute at first but then it’s like…. i have hands. but anyway i think it would break his heart if you got mad at him :((( he doesn’t want to make you feel incompetent but if he’s not taking care of you constantly he feels a little like his heart is about to burst….. sigh. i just feel like this would be hurt/comfort from both sides tbh 💔

He wouldn’t like that you’re hurt but I think he’d like taking care of you more. Like he understands you wanting to do things for yourself and thats why he never pushed before but now he has a reason to push.

AAAA AND THIS!!!!!! SOOOO TRUE SO REAL he’d definitely feel guilty and he’d hate seeing you hurt but i agree….. he would absolutely love a chance to pamper you. once he gets over the initial shock and panic and discomfort and you’re feeling better i think he’s almost kinda smug abt it . bc now he has an excuse to carry you around and help you with putting on your shoes and … idk i think he would just feel so useful and needed. he feels guilty abt being pleased bc you’re in pain :(( but like… a part of him is for sure jumping with joy at the chance to spoil you the way he wants to.

Complaining about how you look with the cast thinking it makes you look ugly or something and he’s instantly like. Take that back. Take it back. Cause you’re cute always don’t you see? He just wants to nurse you back to health. He loves you so much.

😥😥😥😥😥😥 i cried real tears. i know i’m just picking out literally every single part of your ask atp but it rlly did make me insane ok ……. ”take that back. take it back.” I SCREAMEDDD YOU GET HIM LIKE NO ONE ELSE DID YOU KNOW THAT…… he’s SO genuinely offended on your behalf he’s like how DARE you say that about my baby >:(( and it’s like. suguru i AM your baby. but he doesn’t care at all he refuses to hear you out. just reassuring all around!!! ”cause you’re cute always don’t you see?” T—T he loves you so fervently… you’re the cutest person in the world to him….. he’s so Good. sigh.

so anyways this did something to me tysm for the food rem my dearest <333 gonna daydream abt this forever and ever you’re so sweet for sharing this with me it’s like we’re having a sugu meal together :33 i love hurt/comfort w him more than anything else on the planet hhhhh….

[tamtheshihan]

Jin & Xiaoyu in Tekken 8

This is a couple I’ve wanted for years and its safe to say Tekken 8 may just give them the room to be an actual couple once and for all. If you are obsessed with this fighting game franchise as much as I am and have been waiting as long as I have, Jin and Xiaoyu are a ship that in my opinion should have sailed loooooong ago. Xiaoyu is the sunshine and Jin is the one in need of that sunshine.

Their relationship seems to be more grounded and cohesive this time. No longer the delusional and obsessive teenager chasing the handsome and mysterious bad boy, but now as two young adults who respect one another whilst realizing and understanding underlying feelings and the role each plays in the other’s life.

Now before I get to it, I am fully aware that there are millions of people who are against them being a couple. “Oh Xiaoyu’s annoying, Jin doesn’t care for her, JinXiao shippers are delusional”, YADA YADA. Be that as it may, I am 100% behind Jin and Xiaoyu. This post is not for you!

Its shaping up to be Jin and Xiao as endgame and here’s why… Get comfortable because it’s a long one…

Starting off, Japanese men are not the most romantic and are considered shy in those kinds of contexts- as most Japanese people are. Japanese people are not big on pda and being straightforward. Commonly seen in manga and anime. Protagonist in most cases will literally do everything else in a story before worrying about their relationship- telling the girl or guy how they really felt. And it is usually the very last thing we get, if we get it at all. Creators/writers will hint at certain things subtly and you usually have to be aware of it. It’s a staple in Japanese storytelling and Tekken is no exception. It’s a fighting game people, so fighting is the main focus while something like romance is typically placed on the backburner.

With that said, Jin is yet another example of this. He crosses me as the type to be very loving but not in a showy kinda way. I’m certain Jun showered him with love and affection. Her very existence is love and affection. She is mama Kazama- Jin’s whole heart which was taken away from him very early. So being caring and affectionate is something we all know Jin is capable of doing. It’s just that his life took a course that changed him in a way that he needed to adapt to. The mishimas and the devil gene are no place for the kind boy who was raised on the almost remote island of Yakushima. Never having to deal with anything even close to his life after meeting Heihachi. I say this to not right any of his wrongs but to say that you can become a product of the things you go through in life.

Jin is capable of a lot but had to put a lot on the backburner because he was dealing with a situation that was thrown onto him. He didn’t ask for any of it but it was time for a boy to become a man. He no longer had Jun’s kind and touching words, but rather memories of her precepts and warmness to guide him, a grandfather whom he became to trust betrayed him in the worst way, and a father who could care less of his existence.

Xiaoyu on the other hand, a cheerful and caring young lady who wants nothing but to be there for Jin- someone she seen the good in and became a close friend to. She knows that Jin has only become the way he did to cope with the never ending pain and sadness, having to force away everyone and everything he cares about because he fears he would bring them nothing but harm. Jin was once a kind and sweet guy as Xiaoyu stated. Jin cares for Xiaoyu. He cares A LOT. I feel that he cares as much as he can in a way that he can given his situation. I don’t think I want the person I truly care for to be around me in moments were I lose control of myself either. Trust me, Jin has all the emotional components as the next person, he just doesn’t have the space to show it.

Xiaoyu isn’t an idiot. She understands this and catches what Jin throws. Jin’s life was a hard contrast to Xiaoyu’s fun loving, amusement park going life. Sometimes the best way to get through to someone is to communicate in a way they can understand and this time around she knows what has to be done.

And there are things that Jin is fully aware of. He knows that Xiaoyu will follow him to hell without a second thought. He knows she will come looking for him at the drop of a dime and wouldn’t even consider the harm she would face in pursuing him. HE IS FULLY AWARE of how much he means to her. Which is why he puts that distance between them. Why he disappears without a trace, why he keeps his hardships to himself. He knows Xiaoyu will go to bat for him quick. But he cares for her so much that he doesn’t want her getting caught up in his mess. Jin believes that he doesn’t deserve the love and consideration Xiaoyu gives him but he still cares. His self-hatred is what holds him back from believing he’s a proper member of society. The devil gene thoroughly labels him as an outcast who doesn’t deserve a second shot at life and he doesn’t try to hold onto that hope. So something like a relationship or friendship means nothing if you can never truly have it-and to him- as long as the devil gene exist, none of those things could ever be.

He feels as though he has to deal with everything on his own- end his family’s mess and end the bloodline. Jin always seems ready to give his life away because he feels the world would be better off without him. He looks at himself as an abomination, an existence not of this world. He invalidates how he really feels for what he thinks is appropriate for the situation. He calls it like it is. How can you smile, be a friend, or even have a relationship when you are a ticking timebomb and could ruin everything in the blink of an eye?

He's aware that Xiaoyu is going to give it to him straight, cut no corners. He knows she wants the best for him. He knows she’ll tell him that what he thinks of himself isn’t true. He knows that she can read him like a book. He knows she truly cares.

Their special interaction in Tekken 8 is long overdue. It shows exactly what their reunion should be. An abundance of emotions that look almost impossible to interpret. Xiaoyu- happy, relieved she found her man, but also with restraint trying to approach the situation another way, and there’s Jin- sheepish, unable to face Xiaoyu, not sure how she feels. Awkward but both push forward to paint a better picture together this time around. He knows she knows all the things he’s been doing and she knows that he knows but wants to move forward and be able to aid him in the fight. He’s always been much more softer in tone and demeanor with Xiaoyu. He calls the girl “Xiao”for goodness sakes, and in Japanese society people don’t usually do that unless they are really close and have a bond. She calls him “Jin”, no suffix just Jin. She even came out and said that "an exchange of blows can be revealing". Now if that's not obvious...

Sometimes love comes at the right time, and you have to be ready. The love was definitely there, feelings were definitely mutual, they were just shown very differently. In a lot of ways they just had to get themselves together and figure some things out. Besides the romantic part, Jin and Xiaoyu did a lot of growing up. I mean a lot. Look at those two. Xiaoyu LOOKS more mature. SHES A WOMAN NOW. Jin LOOKS certain in his actions and seems to have much more confidence and resolve. This is a man and a woman. I believe they are ready this time.

In a lot of ways Xiaoyu is what Jin needs- that reassurance, that support, that sunshine, that stick beside you type of thing.

And with Jun officially back, Jin’s life will definitely brighten up but with Xiaoyu included… That’s the ideal situation for me!!

I can go all day on these two but in conclusion, Jin and Xiaoyu are a pair that is definitely hard to come by and one of my favorites especially in games. It doesn’t make any since how long I have waited for an interaction between these two where they finally appear to be on even footing, on the same page, and know what they want.

[deathfavor]

@yeonban said: “I’ve got you” I can't possibly gloss over JGY and XY when this meme's downright perfect for them ^_^

send "I've got you" to help my muse wash blood off their body

Xue Yang slinks out of the shadows like a nightmare made flesh ; a monster come back to welcomed company. He even has the accompanied accents of streaks of blood and freezing rain water clinging to him. Meng Yao Jin Guangyao is in the spotlight so often these days in dazzling golden robes. He can have the light for all Xue Yang cares ; Xue Yang will be the dagger hidden in the fold of clothing and sleeves, the beast to be sicced on enemies under oppressive darkness in the blackest night. Perhaps thankfully, tonight he brings back no organs or body parts as some morbid gesture of caring. ( It's hard to say with Xue Yang WHAT the exact reason is and he never tells, only offers a cheerful smile and playful teasing in stark contrast to the violence of his eyes. )

" A-Yao before you go on a lecture, I'll get cleaned up I promise ~ " Also because he's cold. " And everything went perfectly before you ask. " He certain that holds more weight to his friend than anything else. Xue Yang doesn't mind whereas other people might be OFFENDED if only their results mattered.

His body language is relaxed despite the blood and rain on him when he shifts towards the basin. Such is often the case; Xue Yang moves like a shark surrounded by minnows - confident and unbothered. Except his eyes. No matter how relaxed his shoulders are, his eyes track ever movement with a predator's instincts. Too many years on the street. Survival of the fittest, or something like that. The world slaughtered any goodness and kindness Xue Yang might have been ; it rummaged around the shattered pieces of a broken boy and built him into terrifying killer instead, all violence and cruelty and the thrill of the kill stitched into his soul. So it's only natural his crimson eyes watch Jin Guangyao with a guarded wariness under the playful spark and boyish smile.

. . . What?

" Huh? "

It's hard to catch Xue Yang by surprise. Even in his sleep he's coiled and ready to attack or defend himself at the slightest detection of a threat. Yet Jin Guangyao's words manage to do exactly that. Confident eyes waver subtly, a twitch at the corner of his lips when he sees the other approach with a warm rag. The muscles in his legs tense but he doesn't run - he LOATHES the idea of fleeing from anything. It's funny, really. Xue Yang laughs in the face of pain with his terrifyingly high pain tolerance and never backs down from a fight no matter the odds, but the subtlest of gentle gestures makes him want to flee. No matter how much he craves it.

Xue Yang sucks in a brief, sharp breath when he feels the warm cloth pressed to his cheek and wipe away at some of the blood that's dried against his skin. He's not surprised at how meticulous the other seems to be about it either considering that attitude seems to apply to EVERYTHING Jin Guangyao does. But Xue Yang doesn't quite know what to do in the face of the very kindness he seeks deep down. He knows how to bite, how to kill, how to torture, how to make people bleed and scream and cry. He DOESN'T know what to do with gentleness, with someone caring FOR him. Try as he might to figure out what game or scheme might benefit from this, Xue Yang comes up with nothing.

The slow, meticulous approach pays off. Xue Yang's shoulders slowly relax again and dark lashes flutter down so his eyes are half-lidded even as he washes the blood from his forearms and watches the water in the basin take a reddish hue. Fitting. He leaves a trail of red wherever he goes. Meng Yao knows this ; but they both do in a way, don't they? Xue Yang thinks Meng Yao finds some kind of relief in a shared ugly side even if he wants to pretend otherwise with his fancy robes and mannerisms. That's fine too. Who else would be insane enough to sit here helping Xue Yang wipe away blood? He's even been nice to use warm water! How nice. ( He doesn't quite know how to palate it. )

" A-Yao. " Xue Yang starts to say something and then thinks better. " Mm, never mind actually. "

[ayyy-pee]

hi lexi may i request an angsty onesided/unrequited love reader w nanami pls? like nanami makes it known he doesnt do commitment due to the work field hes in but reader still cant help but fall for his personality & accepts theyll never be together but still struggles to move on? can be wtvr length i just want pain pls😭

oh gosh i cannot imagine a world where nanami isn't actually OBSESSED with me but for you? i can TRY *SOBBING ON THE FLOOR, SHAKING MY FISTS IN THE AIR, SNOT RUNNING DOWN MY FACE, GAGGING AND CURSING THE GODS*

word count: 2.1k

description: you've loved nanami kento for as long as you can remember. and as much as it pains you, you have to try and accept that he'll never love you back.

It’s so hard working with the one you love and them not loving you back. You’re forced to see them daily, smile to their face, spend so much time with them it hurts until it’s time to go home. There, you’ll lie in bed and think about them, wish things were different, sleep, wake up and repeat. That’s how it is for you when it comes to Nanami Kento.

“You’re staring.”

“Oh! I’m so sorry,” you mutter, resuming scribbling in your notepad. “I’m just…I keep zoning out.”

“Are you okay?” He asks as he goes back to his task.

“I’m fine. Paperwork just isn’t fun.”

He hums in acknowledgment, but says nothing else. And you ignore the burning of your cheeks at the fact you’ve been caught red handed, blatantly staring. Nanami has caught you watching him, drinking in the way his jaw ticks when he makes an error writing and has to reach for his white-out in his desk to correct it. The way his long, thick fingers wrap around his pen as he pokes his tongue out to dab the tip of it on before he resumes writing.

You really can’t help but stare. Nanami is probably the most beautiful person you’ve ever known.

The blonde man sitting across from you sighs. “Gojo’s paperwork skills are such shit. I have to clean up after him every time he submits his mission summaries.”

“You know you don’t have to, Nanami.”

Tired and beautiful brown eyes glance up at you from the work piled on the desk and your heart leaps into your throat.

“It’s an even trade off. I do his paperwork, and in exchange he buys me an expensive steak dinner with an even more expensive bottle of wine every Friday.”

You snort. “You do love your wine, don’t you?”

“I do,” he says, giving you one of his rare grins before it’s gone as quickly as it came.

He resumes his work, and you admire him again. His usually clean pressed blue shirt now crinkled with the end of the workday, sleeves rolled up to his elbows. His tie and suit jacket are draped over the back of his chair, discarded along with his signature glasses. You can’t help the way your mouth waters as you observe how his muscles flex in his forearms as he writes.

Nanami is so smart, considerate and kind, so amazing. You wonder if he knows how much of a catch he is. That he’s so easy to fall in love with. He has to. You’ve accidentally told him as much. 

..........

You were out at the bar with Shoko, Gojo and Nanami discussing dating one night after work. All of you are open to the idea of dating given your lifestyles, except Nanami. Nanami vehemently refused to entertain the topic, stating that much like relationships, it was a waste of time.

“What’s wrong with being in a relationship?” You ask, stirring your drink.

“What isn’t wrong with it? Let’s start there.”

“You could always just do friends with benefits?” You drunkenly suggest next to him, hopeful.

“Sounds like blurred lines. Too messy,” he dismisses you easily.

You pinch your lips together stubbornly. You’d been going back and forth on dating. The subject came up when Gojo inserted himself, bringing the topic up over drinks. After which he very not subtly winked across the table at you, your body stiffening next to Nanami who didn’t seem to notice. If he did, he didn’t make it known.

“Okay, you could just try dating someone. You never know what’ll happen,” You nudge him with your shoulder gently. “You’re a catch, Nanami. Anyone would be lucky to have you.”

The table is silent for a moment, Gojo watching you with raised brows and Shoko hiding her smirk as she brings her cigarette up to her lips.

Mentally you’re kicking the shit out of yourself for speaking so candidly all of a sudden. 

Drunk words, sober thoughts and all that.

“I appreciate it,” Nanami says, not noticing the awkward stares. “But I don't date. I’m not interested.”

“Why not?” Shoko asks, taking a drag of her cigarette.

“Look at the work we do everyday. It’s shit. I’d feel like an ass dragging someone into this life.” Nanami downs the rest of his drink, pushes his hair back so it’s neatly in place. You usually wouldn’t be able to pull this information from Nanami, but he’s loosened up quite a bit after several drinks.

Shoko hums. “Easy solution. Date a sorcerer.”

Nanami shakes his head. “Even worse. I could die. They could die.”

“We’ll all eventually die, Kento,” Shoko points out. 

She does have a point.

“Yes, but why would I want to be emotionally attached to someone who lives this same life?” He waves the waiter over politely to order another drink. “It’s a waste of time and an unnecessary headache. Like I said, I don’t date. I refuse to commit to someone when it’s pointless. Really, I’m doing everyone else a favor.”

You sit quietly next to him, trying to ignore the sting you feel in your chest as you stare down into your drink. Your food sits in front of you, getting colder by the second.

“So you’re set in your ways about it then?” Gojo asks with a frown, gaze locked on you.

“There’s absolutely no one I’d break that rule for,” Nanami sips his drink again. “It’s better that way.”

You’ve lost your appetite.

..........

That day you’d decided to give up on Nanami Kento. He was a man who didn’t budge when he made up his mind about something. You’ve known him (and loved him) long enough to know that. Even though you want more, you crave more, you say nothing about how you feel. You accept that you will never have Nanami the way you’d love to. So instead, no matter how bad it hurts, you try your damndest to be just his friend.

And you cherish your friendship.

Truly. You cherish the end of day hours where you complain about what the students put you through or talk about what you’ll be having for dinner. You cherish the nights where you go out to have drinks and talk about life. It’s fun, entertaining. Spending time with Nanami in any capacity helps to alleviate just the tiniest bit of pain caused by the knowledge that he will never love you.

You like when Nanami shares the intimate details of what’s going on with him outside of work. At the school Nanami is so stoic, by the book, so serious. For good reason. Not taking this particular job seriously can quickly result in your untimely demise – unless you’re Gojo Satoru. 

Outside of work, you’re not sure anyone knows how much of a sweetheart Nanami truly is. And he’s funny. He’s funny in the way that he doesn’t even realize he’s being funny. He just says whatever is on his mind and his honesty is hilarious and refreshing. You like to think you’re the only one who knows this side of him, delusional as it may be.

You learn that Nanami loves to cook, loves to bake, loves to read (he’s very into reading period pieces, you’ve recently learned). Nanami enjoys exquisite things from time to time as well. A good, expensive wine paired with seafood? He could go on and on about how a good white does wonders for a lobster dinner. And you’d listen intently to anything he talked about because again, you cherish your friendship.

You have to cherish your friendship…

…Because that’s all it will ever be.

And it kills you.

..........

You do try to move on, try to see what else is out there for you. And you fail miserably every time. On dates with other men, you find there’s always something missing, always something that makes them undesirable to you.

Their hair is too dark.

You prefer blonde.

Their eyes are green.

Or their eyes are blue.

You prefer brown.

They’re way too outgoing.

You prefer quiet and reserved.

Not at all red flags, but deal breakers all the same for you.

Although you try to move on by dating, you’re embarrassed to admit you’ve let your imagination get the better of you on your dates. You often find yourself daydreaming you’re on a date with Nanami instead while your real date drones on about their lives. 

You think about Nanami reaching over the restaurant table, careful to avoid the candlelit centerpiece as he takes your hand gently in his.

“I’ve been thinking about you all day,” he’ll tell you quietly, a small smile gracing his features. And you’ll return that smile because even though he’s your boyfriend and you both love each other very much, you still get bashful around him.

“Will you come back home with me tonight?” He’ll ask.

And you’ll nod enthusiastically as your mind runs away with the thought of Nanami wrapping his strong arms around you as he presses sweet kisses to your face, to your lips, to every part of your body. You’ll run your fingers through his soft, blonde tresses. You’ll imagine him laying you down gently on his plush bed as he climbs over you, his hard body pressing into yours while his hands caress your skin.

“I want you so bad, my love. I always do,” he’ll groan into the crook of your neck. And your eyes will flutter closed when he kisses that tender spot right below your jaw. He’ll moan your name when you roll your hips up against his and then–

“You ready to order?” Your date asks you, effectively pulling the plug on your fantasy.

“Yep!” You answer, and under the table you cross your legs when you feel the wetness begin to pool at your core. You rub your thighs together to find any kind of friction to stave off the desire you have for a man who has never so much as hugged you.

It’s frustrating. You know it will go nowhere with Nanami, ever. Nanami has never given you an inkling of hope for anything more. He doesn’t feel for you what you feel for him. He’s made it clear that there is no one he would break his commitment rule for. 

And yet, you still want Nanami. But Nanami?

Well, he doesn’t want anyone. He doesn’t want you.

..........

In the dim light of Nanami’s office, you find you can’t pull your gaze away from him again. You wish you could reach across his desk and run your fingers over his smooth skin, over those incredible cheekbones of his. Tell him how you want to be with him, how you love him, how you wish he loved you too.

You want to tell him all the many ways you could make him happy, make him see that it’s worth it to break his stupid little rule and give you a chance to truly show him what love feels like. You could make him so happy. If only you could just be honest and tell him how you feel, maybe he’d let you…You don’t, though. And you likely won’t ever tell him.

Instead, you watch as Nanami pushes his stack of papers together with a sigh of finality. He’s finished with his work. He slips the papers into a manila folder that he then places in the drawer of his desk. He stands and grabs his suit jacket before he comes around his desk and says, “It’s been a long day. Do you want to get a drink before going home?”

You agree.

Of course you do. You’re so pathetically in love with this man knowing full well he will never return your feelings. He will never look at you the way you look at him. He will never yearn for you the way you do for him. He will never love you the way you love him. And it hurts so fucking bad. 

It hurts so bad, there are nights you can’t sleep, your mind fixating on the pain of knowing you’ll never be able to let go of the hope he didn’t give you in the first place.

You should say no to going out for drinks. Just cut your losses and go home. Finally start the process of truly moving on from Nanami Kento.

But you don’t.

You pack up your belongings and head out to the bar with Nanami, a safe friendly width between you as you walk together. You cherish your friendship with Nanami above all else. You’re greedy. You’ll take anything he’s willing to give you. And if that’s friendship only, you’ll gladly accept it. You’ll tuck away this deep, persistent love you have for him. You’ll never let him be the wiser. Because a life without Nanami is not one you ever want to know.

[stormxpadme]

Fanfic Writer Asks:

5, 10, 17, 29

"I’m Bored and Anxious So I Slapped Together a List of Fan Fic Writer Asks"

5 - What’s a fic idea you’ve had that you will never write?

I'm notoriously not a huge fan of Mr. Sinister because it's just one of these things Marvel Comics has done to death, and guy's hopelessly overpowered. So aside from like 2 short oneshots, I never utilized him in my X-Men stories and my X-Men main verse.

But lately I've been thinking about a very meta kind of oneshot which arose from an Alternative Universe story for my X-Men verse that I did a while ago. A oneshot that included - and those scenes were very much part of my canon and not AU - some flashbacks of when movieverse!Scott was Essex' lab rat as a kid. That story also elaborated on how Essex has kept on meddling subtly, telepathically with Scott's life in the course of the years. In that official X-Men verse of mine, Essex has been put on ice deep under the ocean by Charles and Emma shortly before Scott came to Charles as a teenager and is mostly rendered powerless. But I like to think, very subtly, even at what is basically a coma, Essex still has a bit of influence on the real world. And of course he's never given up on the plan of creating his mutant super race and that perfect fabricated mutant child for his own uses. Since he did know somehow though, that his plan would never work as intended with Scott and Jean - cue Destiny coming in, in some way ... Bear with me, this whole thing is not finished beign plotted -, Essex decided to give Logan and Jean as his favorite parents a shot since those would be just an equally powerful combination of genes. Long story short - literally -, this would be basically the reason of why my whole version of the old X-Men movieverse happened in the end, with Essex' subtle manipulations making sure, Scott and Jean gave up on their relationship after Liberty Island because of several issues and because of Jean's attraction to Logan, not least by making sure, Scott had someone else he was attracted to and was basically out of the way of Jean's and Logan's spawn in the making. This oneshot would basically be nothing but a legitimation for writing my verse that I don't need because everything Marvel is multiverse and everything's possible and legit. So I don't really think I'm ever gonna write this, not least because I'm just not interested in doing anything longer with Essex. And I don't want to undermine what Scott and his wifey and Jean and Logan have in that verse by retconning it into something manipulated by an outsider. But the simple idea of Essex literally throwing in the face of Scott's partner for decades at this point, that she's nothing but a badly fabricated plot device? Ouch, here comes the pain. Maybe I'll do something like a vague nightmare about that thing at some point as part of a bigger story but really writing it out? Nah. I'm only that masochistic by proxy for my characters.

10 - Is there a fic that got a different response than you were expecting?

Honestly with how silent fandom has become in terms of feedback, it's mostly surprise these days that there's hardly any response at all (the person sending this ask being one of the few exceptions to regularly save my day). Because every now and then I do write popular themes and somewhat popular characters and think, well, this should get some response at least. Alas. I also was slightly taken aback by the reaction of a reader to one of the rare torture/non con scenes I wrote and published lately because it felt a bit like victim blaming. Which like. Just no.

17 - What’s something you’ve learned about while doing research for a fic?

After writing my fictional season of American Idol, I know more about the TV and casting show business (especially about how many celebs can't even get out of bed without their first line of coke in the morning) than I ever wanted to know.

29 - Share a bit from a fic you’ll never post OR from a scene that was cut from an already posted fic.

I'll cheat a bit here and take that fic I mentioned above because I'm never gonna post it on AO3; as of now, it's only in our German archive. The reason for that is that I got exactly one single active reader there, and that reader fell in love with a romance in my X-Men verse that got hardly any to zero response on AO3. And since that oneshot is an Alternative Universe version to my X-Men verse, spawning from the AU idea of that romance getting a happy instead of a horrible ending, meaning, something that I wrote only for said reader for her to be happy, it wouldn't make sense, translating it and putting it on AO3. I still very much like the parts I mentioned though that are canon for my regular verse too, because sometimes I really need a bit of Scott childhood drama in my life.

Just as a preface for understanding: Avery is an OC of mine, an old childhood friend-turned-enemy of Scott's with whom he's lived together on the streets as a teenager for a while. In this scene, Emma is taking Scott and Avery together into some shared memories in their heads because they're looking for a mental signature to follow, to go where Essex has been buried who is about to wake from his coma.

“What …? How …?” “I guess that's what we're here to find out.” Emma squeezed Avery's shoulder once more and then pointed back to the lab area, where a heavy double door opened after the clicking of several locks and the beeping of a code access entered. Even though neither of them really cared to see these particular memories … They had to find out. Otherwise, all this shit would soon be a reality all over the world. With his fists clenched hard, Avery looked at the white-skinned guy, even taller than Scott and himself, who entered the room with a cheerful whistle - some French classic - on his lips, pushing a trolley with various instruments in front of him, the sight of which promptly had Avery's stomach turn again. Instinctively, his fingertips wandered back to the fresh burn on his neck, that characteristic scar which he saw reflected in blood-red on that asshole's forehead right now. Indeed, a more than clear branding as the new property of this psycho. As if. Only in the bastard's wet dreams. By now, Avery didn't even have the strength to tell himself that he didn't care that the defenseless body on that stretcher had begun to tremble noticeably since Essex's memory image had entered the room, or that he was already choking with nausea again himself when that psycho made short work of the only piece of clothing on his victim's body with an impatient telekinetic touch. “Hm.” A discontented-sounding grumble came from the stranger, from a voice about as pleasant as nails on a slate, as he looked at a few numbers on a monitor belonging to the stretcher, obviously spitting out the various results of freshly measured vital signs. “Low potassium and blood pressure again. What did I tell you, Scott? With how tall you're growing recently, I can't have you being a picky eater. If you keep starving yourself, we can solve this very quickly with a feeding tube. I don't want to have to repeat myself. Or do you want me to have to track down Alex and lock him up here instead of you just because you're being so difficult? I don't want that because your mutation is much more promising, but if you don't finally learn how to behave, you'll leave me no choice. Understood?” As there was no response from his young victim, Essex tapped the tip of a scalpel demonstratively against a spot directly on the right hip bone, which was already adorned with a huge Band-aid, with a theatrical sigh. “Yes, sir.” The tonelessness in this choked reply had Avery inevitably take a step back against the wall, away from this alienating scene. No prisoner, no matter which age, who had been subjected to such treatment for only a few days would be talking like that.

[dual-domination]

For the "three fics you think I will never, ever, ever write" game!

a - Reunion!Pingxie cuddling on the couch, while Wu Xie thinks about their last adventure and how he almost lost his soulmate

b - Unrequited love, Luo Fusheng confessing to Luo Fei after leaving Dongjiang and all his past behind just to be with his dear detective, but Luo Fei rejects him

c - Shen Wei breaking up with Zhao Yunlan because he's in love with someone else, and Zhao Yunlan doing nothing about it except having a hurt ego

 Hi Luci! You go first bc you gave me 2 options I really would NEVER write. Well, option 1 only if it was very specific Ultimate Note PingXie, but I don’t think I’ll ever write anything other than HeiHua and PingSang for DMBJ. Option 2 is out of question, no matter the context, bc you specified “unrequited love”, if you didn’t, I could find an excuse for Luo Fei to reject dear Fusheng (or lots of excuses to reject someone you actually love). So, no, there’s no universe to me where Luo Fei won’t love Fusheng. 

So I’m going to an EASY choice. Option 3, just to see how works the other way around of what the team already wrote multiple times jkskjsjks YOU HAVE NO IDEA.

…

Zhao Yunlan thought that it was possible to happen. Of course, more subtly, but still possible. For a while, he'd seen it coming. It was just a matter of time, he thought. And that time had run out.

"You said you want to break up, but you still haven't told me why," he said, failing to hide a certain resentment that he didn't want to be visible to Shen Wei. Despite everything, he didn't think Shen Wei deserved it.

"You should know. And I know how wrong it sounds after all the time that..." Shen Wei looked at his feet, thinking about what life would be like if the center of his will was no longer the same. A painful uncertainty mingled with an exciting prospect he had never thought himself capable of having. Before.

"All this time means your entire existence, not mine," Zhao Yunlan sounded with disdain, and he himself didn't know whether that was accidental or intentional. Under the circumstances, perhaps he was more upset than he was admitting to himself.

"All the things I thought I couldn't bear, I found I could," Shen Wei said, as he raised his eyes to face the other, "Except for one. I don't know if I can live without you. But you once questioned how much of it was really love and how much of it was the shock of the sudden loss of the past." Inside, what was broken, he knew, there was no way to get it back. And Shen Wei had been a broken person for thousands of years until then.

Zhao Yunlan took the pack of cigarettes out of his pocket, placing one between his lips, and brought out the lighter to light it next, shielding the flame with his hand. He leaned back in his chair, taking a deep drag on his cigarette. He exhaled the smoke slowly, watching the white cloud dissipate in the surroundings, between him and Shen Wei. Different from that, the mist that danced in the ancient entity's eyes, would not dissipate.

"You say you don't know if you can live without me. But you've clearly decided to try."

"I didn't know I was capable of falling in love," Shen Wei was shy about it, partly as if he wasn't worthy of feeling that way; "For someone else. For someone who has nothing to do with everything you or I have ever lived and with whom I only had... an ordinary friendship."

"I would call your relationship many things, but not ordinary. An ordinary friendship wouldn't take you from me."

Shen Wei thought for a moment about that. Though all he'd been thinking about for several months was exactly that. It wasn't ordinary. It was special. And from the special, it became charming, alluring. For his heart. 

For a long time, he carried guilt about his feelings - and he still did now. Maybe that guilt would never go away.

"I never wanted to love anyone other than you. But I love him. Maybe I love him even more for knowing that his human time is fleeting and that I'm going to lose him in what, for me, is 'soon'. For him, maybe it's decades long. Just a blink of an eye in my time. And that makes him extremely precious. Because I'll lose him without any chance of getting him back. And all I'll have are memories I'll carry alone. Foolishly, maybe I like to believe that even without remembering me, in his soul he will still know that he was loved so much."

Zhao Yunlan shook his head while listening to Shen Wei's resolution. He never believed it would be final, but it seemed that unlikely person would take Shen Wei from him not for a while, but for good.

Leaving the cigarette in the ashtray, he leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees as he faced Shen Wei.

"If I didn't know Wu Xie well enough, I'd blame him for seducing you. But he's too stupid to know how to seduce anyone - and I'm afraid that stupidity is exactly what you like about him. Just don't forget... his profession disturbs souls and awakens what should never be roused from its slumber. Even if you choose to go blind, you know you cannot change the consequences."

Shen Wei's gaze turned sharp as he stared at his, now, former lover, "He didn't seduce me. He just accepted what I had to offer him. And I won't turn blind, I know my duties - and I know how to deal with my lover. It won't ever turn into a problem of yours. You don't have to worry about it. Wu Xie is none of your business, I assure you."

Zhao Yunlan went silent, leaning back on his chair once more. He wasn't going to admit how disappointed he was. But one thing was true: he was, indeed, both annoyed and curious about how special Wu Xie could be to mess with all Shen Wei's emotions and feelings like that. 

The feeling - real or unreal - that Shen Wei might have never felt anything but intense obsession for him and that, now, he had finally started to feel real love for someone - for Wu Xie - was definitely disturbing.

[goddess-of-green]

omg just found your account and i'm in love hey, could you do akatsuki headcannons of them being jealous cause u r talking to another member in a flirty way, hope that makes sense. xx

Warnings: Fem!Reader, language, suggestive themes

• Tobi

◊ Let me tell you, Deidara is on thin fucking ice

◊ He is constantly flirting with you and when you remind him that you're with Tobi he just scoffs and keeps flirting like you're joking

◊ Tobi is very protective and even though he trusts you he gets jealous and insecure very easily

◊ He probably wouldn't directly confront Deidara about it but he would do subtle things to make it apparent that you are Tobi's cute lover, not Deidara's

◊ He would come up behind you and pull you close, chirping about how much he loves you, and how much you love him, while Deidara rolls his eyes

◊ Please just hug him and reassure him that you love him, it makes him melt every time

◊ "Tobi just gets...worried Y/N-Chan...He- I love you..."

• Pain

◊ Pain is majorly territorial

◊ He will threaten anyone if he even suspects that they have intentions

◊ He will attack someone if they continuously flirt with you but he tries not to if it's an Akatsuki member

◊ That being said, when Zetsu keeps flirting with you he gets mad

◊ Generally dislikes PDA but he will resort to it if Zetsu doesn't let up

◊ He'd pull you into his lap or use terms of endearment in front of everyone

◊ "As my goddess, you shall always stay by my side. I will not let anyone get in the way of that."

• Itachi

◊ He's so insecure

◊ Itachi would be very possessive but would repress it

◊ He would subtly threaten someone, or remind them who you belong to if their flirting starts to get out of hand

◊ Itachi tries very hard not to say anything, but he will seek your attention if you've been giving someone else a lot of your time

◊ Deidara flirts with you constantly, and you're pretty sure it's just because he hates Itachi

◊ Itachi will just eerily stare at him over you shoulder until he stops

◊ "Love...stay with me for a while, please."

• Kisame

◊ He is soo possessive

◊ He trusts you 100%, but he's still paranoid you may leave him for someone else

◊ He's super passive aggressive when someone tries to flirt with you

◊ Generally his appearance alone is enough to scare off anyone that wants you but there are exceptions

◊ Tobi doesn't outright flirt with you but he compliments you constantly and tries to get very close to you, too close for Kisame's liking

◊ Kisame will lurk and give you lots of affection so that Tobi knows your his, he is also not above marking you

◊ "You're mine, sweetheart. I want everyone to know that."

• Kakuzu

◊ This man, will beat some ass

◊ If anyone even looks at his darling the wrong way, they are toast

◊ He won't do PDA, like ever, but he will scare people off in other ways

◊ Is not above killing someone if they get too close to you

◊ Kakuzu trusts you...but not anyone else

◊ Don't make fun of him for getting jealous, just run your fingers through his hair and tell him how strong he is, that will cool him down much faster

◊ "If anyone even dares to touch you...I will have their heart."

• Sasori

◊ He'd make someone a puppet if they said the wrong thing to you

◊ He'll openly threaten anyone that gets too close to you

◊ Depending on who is flirting with you, he'll respond with varying degrees of aggression but he'll never ignore it

◊ Kakuzu shows interest in you and it pisses Sasori off

◊ Sasori and Kakuzu have had a lot of passive aggressive stand-offs, but neither of them are savage enough to just start fighting over a girl in front of the entire Akatsuki

◊ You are a work of art and like in a museum, no one is allowed to touch the exhibit

◊ "I simply cannot allow these imbeciles to disrespect you with their dirty words."

• Deidara

◊ He will never admit it but he is slightly insecure

◊ Tobi always flirts with you just to mess with him

◊ He knows you would never even think of leaving him for Tobi but it still pisses him off

◊ If you respond positively to Tobi's flirting, -like giggling or even just letting him continue to flirt with you- then Deidara will get mad

◊ He'll tell you how much of an idiot that Tobi is and how you shouldn't even waste your time in his presence and, and-

◊ You just need to kiss him and make sure he knows you'd never leave him, especially not for someone like Tobi

◊ "You are art, un. Art that no else is allowed to admire but me."

• Hidan

◊ Arguably the worst of all the Akatsuki in regards to jealousy

◊ He's not insecure and he doesn't think for even a second that you'd leave him but it pisses him the fuck off when anyone even tries to flirt with you

◊ He will throw down, he doesn't give a damn who's flirting with you

◊ Hidan respects you a lot, but he can be objectifying and possessive sometimes

◊ It's actually because he respects you that he wants you to himself so much

◊ He'll do anything to get someone away from you and assert his dominance, including kissing you in front of them, attacking them, hell, he'd even fuck you in front of them to get the point across

◊ "You're fucking mine okay? I won't let anyone else have you."

• Konan

◊ Konan is a bit insecure that you'd leave her, poor baby has baggage

◊ She wouldn't necessarily get jealous very easily, but she would get insecure if you were giving someone else a lot of your time and were spending more time away from her

◊ If someone is openly saying lewd things about your or being pushy, that's when Konan starts to get upset

◊ She has no problem with putting them in their place or simply pulling you close and making your relationship apparent

◊ Like Pain, Konan isn't really one for PDA, but she will certainly do it if it means others will keep their hands to themselves, we're looking at you, Hidan

◊ Overall, Konan's fairly passive as far as jealousy goes, but you should still take the time to make sure she knows you love her, she appreciates it

◊ "I get...worried, darling. What if someone tries to take you from me?"

• Zetsu

◊ Zetsu is a little complicated with jealousy, but both sides agree that you are theirs, and no one has a right to touch you but them

◊ If someone keeps flirting with you, he can generally scare them off by just being there, especially if he makes it clear that you are his

◊ PDA is definitely not his thing but he'll lean in and give you kiss just so that everyone knows who you belong to

◊ Black Zetsu is literally outraged when anyone tries anything with you, and he will 100% try to at least maim them

◊ White Zetsu is much more laid back but unlike Black Zetsu he gets insecure, he sometimes worries that you would rather have a human lover, which plants other insecurities in his head that he's not good enough for you

◊ How aggressively he reacts essentially depends on who and how much they're flirting with you, but no matter who it is, they are not safe

◊ "You are mine. And I am yours."

[pourcap]

thoughts: pg chapter 20

oh my god they fell asleep next to each other

wait i just remembered that damen is planning to leave this morning and i am about to cry lol

Sleeping beside Damen, there was a newly physical aspect revealed in Laurent: the taut waist, the upper body musculature of a swordsman, the exposed angle of his Adam’s apple. Laurent looked like what he was: a young man. (...) it means SO MUCH that damen acknowledges that laurent is a man. a young man who possesses clearly masculine features as opposed to the immature boy his uncle likes to paint him as. i love how subtly important this is, also because it draws a clear line from laurent's past of abuse and the reason(s) damen wants him (laurent: "you want to take me as a man takes a boy", damen: "as a man takes a man")

Damen knew his body now. He knew the surprise that gentle attention could draw from him. He knew his lazy, dangerous assurance, his hesitancies . . . his sweet, tender hesitancies. He knew the way that he made love, a combination of explicit knowledge and almost shy reticences. this whole part makes me want to cry. i don't think i ever really thought about the fact that the regent physically hurt laurent. i was always mostly thinking about the emotional consequences it had on laurent :/

Stirring drowsily, Laurent shifted a fraction closer and made a soft, unthinking sound of pleasure that Damen was going to remember for the rest of his life. AAAAAHHHHH damen is in love. it's official

laurent came awake in damen's arms!!!!

He wasn’t sure how it would be, but when Laurent saw who was beside him, he smiled, the expression a little shy but completely genuine. (...) WHAT

what

i am

wow

okay

laurent is sad about them falling asleep!!! because it robbed them of time!!! which just made me remember damen is going to leave!!! and now i'm really sad!!!

They were gazing at one another. He held himself still as Laurent reached out and touched the plane of his chest. Despite the rising sun they were kissing, slow, fantastic kisses, the wonderful drift of hands. Their legs tangled together. He ignored the feeling inside him and closed his eyes. i can't do this i love them so much

'Your inclination appears to be much as it was last night.’ Damen found himself saying, ‘You talk the same in bed,’ and the words came out sounding like he felt: helplessly charmed. laurent really does talk more eloquently than anyone else even when it's dirty talk (also: HELPLESSLY CHARMED)

damen has a big dick confirmed again

'No,’ said Damen. ‘No, it’s—’ It’s never like this. The idea that Laurent might find this with someone else hurt him. :((((((((( i can't get over the fact that these past couple hours meant so much to damen as well

He dozed, after, drifting in the early sunlight, and woke to an empty bed. hello i am experiencing heartbreak

‘Where’s Laurent?’ they are so familiar with each other now. no more "where's the prince?" :'(

god. this is... a lot. i am so sad

laurent didn't even want to say goodbye? or did he not think he could not say goodbye??? :(((

He felt unsteady. He understood that what he had missed in sleeping was not his deadline but the last moments with Laurent, the last kiss, the final parting. (...) honestly this is just as painful as book 1

Except that it was Kastor who had put the collar on him, and Laurent who was freeing him. hmmmmm. fuck kastor. will he ever actually show up in the books or is he just going to let jokaste take care of it like she did in the slave baths in book 1? you know, like a coward

'No,’ he heard himself say. ‘Leave that one on.' oh wow. i did not expect that... my heart just broke once again :)))

the men saying goodbye to damen i am seriously about to start sobbing

laurent!!!

(...) He tossed Damen a single cool look from across the courtyard before driving his horse on. i thought we were past this!!!

They swept into the courtyard in a surge of red. (...) no. i'm really not in the mood for the regent's bullshit right now

'The King of Vere sends a message,’ said the herald. um. the king???? excuse me????

what the fuck.

'(...) If your brother’s blood is truly in your veins, you will meet him on the field at Charcy three days hence. (...)' can the regent please just stop bringing up auguste every step of the way? i hate him so much

Damen felt a sickening lurch of his stomach as the soldier held the bloodstained bag aloft, and the herald said: ‘This one pleaded for you. He tried to stand for the wrong side. He suffered the fate of any man who sides with the pretender prince against the King.' no. please please please noooo

nooooooo

nooo i hate this i hate this so much

Don’t tell him I came, he’d said. They had always, from the beginning, had a strange affinity. This one pleaded for you. Spending, perhaps, the last of his fading currency with the Regent. Not realising how little currency he had left. Whether his beauty would survive adolescence no one would ever know, for Nicaise would not see fifteen now. :( i am genuinely so sad. there are tears in my eyes. really. i hate the regent. hate hate hate hate hate him.

i am so upset god i have never wanted any fictional character to die as painfully as the regent. fuck him and everything who's on his side, seriously.

In the glaring light of the courtyard, Damen saw Laurent react, and make himself not react. (...) i had to close my eyes for a moment literally all of this is horrible

'That his favour cannot be trusted? That even the boys in his bed see how false is his claim to the throne? Or that his hold on power is so flimsy that he fears the words of a bought child whore?' i know laurent does not actually think like that but man, the way he can just switch off his emotions for a while is genuinely terrifying. i do admire him for coming up with these arguments so quickly though

'And if you want a personal message,’ said Laurent, ‘You can tell my uncle boykiller that he can cut the head off every child from here to the capital. It won’t make him into a king, it will simply mean he has no one left to fuck.' god. he is brutal. (i mean, clearly he's not literally a brutal person since he's only saying these things out of pain but. you know. still. the things he says when he's in a mood like this really make me want to cry 100% of the time)

'You’ve outstayed your welcome,’ said Laurent. please...

Damen opened his mouth to speak but Laurent cut him off in a whiplash order to Damen’s escort: ‘I told you to get him out of here.' (...) i am so sad for laurent and i understand why he would act the way he is right now but, for the sake of my heart's wellbeing, can he please stop

'He needs me,’ said Damen. ‘I don’t care if you tell the world.' i love damen so much!!

He brought up short after a single step inside. oh no

A fourth son, thought Damen, waiting for someone to notice him. When he wasn’t trying to please, he was baiting authority, as though negative attention could substitute for the approval that he sought—that he had been given, once, by Laurent’s uncle. okay... that made me sad. fuck the regent.

cool so everything is horrible and nothing at all went well! :)

in conclusion: this chapter made me want to die :)

[miekasa]

M-mie could we get some athlete boyfriend eren hcs too if you don’t mind, please and thank you😩

He is: my boyfriend, and I love him dearly. Perfect amount of himbo and athlete without being a jock, everybody give it up for Eren for being my dream boy <3

Eren plays sports year round, with the exception of maybe one or two winter seasons, just because his school/work/home life was too busy for athletics at those times. Otherwise, he’s always go something to practice for: soccer in the fall, hockey in the winter, and his choice of baseball or basketball in the spring.

He’s not a varsity athlete; that is, he’s not “committed” to any one team, so he’s not tied to playing one sport every year, nor are his academics linked to his athletics, or vice versa. He’s just a pretty athletic guy, and he’s got a lot of energy, and he enjoys sports, so naturally he plays whenever he can.

As it turns out, it does help him with his academics. Knowing he’s got practice the majority of the week forces Eren into building a schedule that prioritizes both schoolwork and sports so he can enjoy them equally. It teaches him to be independent in a way that he wasn’t expecting, but he’s come to really love.

And because he loves it, he doesn’t mind working hard for it. Liking the way he’s set it up for himself encourages him to do his best in both areas. It’s really just good for him all around: a good outlet fo his energy, a good way to spend his time, a good way to keep his grades in check, and a good way to keep himself comfortably happy and busy.

His appetite is insatiable, so it’s only dramatized when playing sports. He takes the all you can eat in all you can eat sushi a little too seriously.

The thing is… he’s a shit cook, too, so it’s not like he’s meal prepping to make sure he’s satisfying his appetite. He just buys a shit ton of food whenever he’s hungry. He’s always asking you if you wanna grab food, and part of it is to ensure that you’re eating—not as much as him, but eating nonetheless—but part of it is that he just likes sharing meals with someone.

He also doesn’t like to eat alone, so even if you only have your ten California rolls to his forty six spicy tuna rolls, that’s fine; he just wants the company.

That’s also why even if you say you’re not hungry, he’ll drag you out to eat with him anyway. And you’ll probably get fed some of his food even if you don’t order anything and insist that you’re not hungry because, “It’s really good, baby, just try it—just one bite, it’s okay I’ve got plenty left!”

He usually keeps a few granola bars and chips and other snacks of his liking on him. But because of Eren’s nature, he keeps them on you, too: in your car, in your backpack, in your apartment/dorm. You’ll meet him after class and he’ll kinda just start walking behind you, and you realize he’s opening your backpack, and you don’t even have time to question him before he’s pulling a bar out of the smallest pocket with a smile and munching on it.

Sometimes you come home and see his little protein shakes in your fridge. You definitely didn’t put them there, but you don’t move them, either. When you stock up on more when they’re running low, Eren contemplates marrying you.

If it’s been a hard week of practice or school, he tends to get sleepy when studying (usually when studying for his least favorite class, no coincidence there). He’ll close his laptop, put his hood up, and scooch his chair closer to yours before leaning his head on your shoulder.

He gets increasingly clingier the longer he naps; hand wrapping around your waist, nose poking at your neck. He’s not so subtly trying to hint that he wants you to quit studying and take him home to cuddle instead. If you don’t get the message, expect him to shut your laptop for you.

When you protest, Eren just looks at you with pouty lips and tired eyes, “Chemistry sucks anyway. Wanna nap, and also wanted you to do that thing with your hands when you massage my back for me.” (He then promptly falls asleep mid-massage on your bed).

He’s actually got a waiver to see a physical massage therapist because of how frequently he’s exercising. On occasion, he goes, but he claims he likes your massages much better. Also because he’s hesitant about a stranger touching him and once he moaned when the guy was working on his back and Eren swears it was one of the most embarrassing moments of his life.

He doesn’t get upset if you can’t make it to every game, but he does like it when you show up. Gets all cheesy and cocky with his arm around your shoulder, going on about how, “You’re my good luck charm, baby. I play better when you’re watching, you know?”

He has so much team clothing, from sweats to hoodies to t-shirts to socks. All he asks is that you wear something on game days, even if you can’t be there to support him while he’s playing. And that you keep one or two things for yourself anyway. He’ll put them in your closet for your if you don’t take them yourself <2

Because seeing you in his hoodie is always great, but his team hoodies are extra special, because they’ve got his name and his number on them. Whenever you’re wearing one, he trails just a half step behind you so he can see JAEGER printed on your back while you walk. Something about you wearing his last name around is… enticing, to say the least.

Even if it’s not the clothes branded with his name, Eren’s got a thing for you in sweats and/or workout clothes, so he’ll toss them at you whenever you sleep over. He’s always handsy, even if you’re just wearing an Under Armour shirt with the school’s logo on it; the material of it, and knowing that it’s his just makes him want to keep his hands on you.

Truthfully, he doesn’t workout all that much outside of practice. Occasionally, he’ll go to the gym with some of his teammates if they need a buddy, or go himself to stretch or take one of the free classes, but he doesn’t have a strict schedule for it. If you go to the gym, he’ll follow you if you ask, tho.

Turns out something that he does like is yoga. He’s not particularly flexible lmfao, but the stretching helps with muscle pain and tension, and he kinda finds the whole atmosphere of it relaxing. He’s still not so great at the meditation part of it, but he’s getting there.

(Actually, it’s pretty cute because on Tuesday and Thursdays, the yoga classes at the gym on campus are open-level and beginner friendly. That’s when the majority of the athletes show up, and you see people like Eren, Jean and Connie holding tree pose in the back room).

This, of course, makes him think that couples yoga is a great idea. Let’s just say, you’re lucky that Eren is strong enough to catch you and has sharp reflexes, because he’s certainly not the most balanced partner for this activity.

Game days are fun for him, and usually even if his team loses, he’s still so pumped up on adrenaline that he’s pretty happy. He only gets moody if he thinks the other team is playing dirty, or the refs are unfair, or he’s just been in a bad mood because of something that happened in his personal life; sports are an outlet for him, not his drive in life, so losing a game doesn’t take a huge toll on him.

Usually, even if he is upset about something personal, he’s able to funnel it into his game play. Small things used to make his whole sportsmanship sour, but overtime, he’s really gotten better at using his energy to fuel the right things. However, one thing that makes him foul (emotionally and literally; as in he might foul out of a game), is if he’s been fighting with you.

Sometimes it works in his favor—using the game as outlet, like usual—but it goes south pretty quickly. Because instead of using his aggression in a productive way, he gets distracted and easily pissed off, and it’s no good for anybody, especially himself. Because if he fouls out, or the coach takes him out for doing too much, then he can’t play; and if he can’t play then all that pent up frustration has no where to go; and then he’s forced to just sit with himself and his thoughts, but usually he starts deflecting and telling everyone else to piss off. Truly a no good, very bad box he’s put himself in.

You guys don’t fight that often, and it’s rare that it drags out for an extended amount of time when you do; but as with any relationship, it can happen. And when it does happen, if Armin doesn’t get to you first, expect one of Eren’s teammates to come groveling at your feet.

Or, rather, two. Because when you and Eren were fighting for over two weeks about god knows what at this point, it was Connie and Jean who ambushed you in the library. Jean had some pride to keep, but Connie was practically begging you to make up with Eren: “Look, I know he’s probably the one who said or did something to piss you off, and I’m not saying you gotta forgive him, but please just talk to him. I can’t run anymore extra laps because of him, and it’s gonna be so embarrassing if we lose to a C-list team on Friday because Eren’s funking up everyone’s attitude. PLEASE!”

Jean is more interested in the tea between you guys, but he also wants Eren to go back to being his normal hotheaded self, and not his current moody self. “He’s been playing like a bitch baby all week, and I’m gonna knock his skull in if he doesn’t fucking get his act together,” Jean rolls his eyes, “So just show up on Friday, alright? Do it for me and Connie, at least.”

When Eren does see you in the crowd at the game, it’s not a Troy and Gabriella moment, but when he sees you he feels so much relief that he’s physically calmer and way more mentally relaxed—because at this point Eren wasn’t even mad, he was just scared you might break up with him, and that fear brought out the worst in him. Seeing you in the stands, even if you didn’t wanna speak to him, was reassurance that you still gave a damn about him, and that was motivation enough.

He rushes to you after the game, wanting to make sure you don’t get swept away or leave with your friends. He’s smiling and so happy to finally see you that he almost forgets that you’re mad with him; hugging you and grinning ear to ear. When the reality kicks in, he kinda steps back at bit and rubs at his neck, embarrassed, but at least he knows he still has a chance to make things right with you.

(When you do make up, you’re surprised to find flowers and $10 coupon for your favorite pizza place in your mailbox a few days later. They’re from Connie, and his poorly handwritten note thanks you for “saving the team” and “curbing Eren’s temper).

[multifandomimagines]

Let Me Show You - A Theo Raeken Imagine

Characters: Theo Raeken x Reader

Word Count: 3469

Summary: Reader is feeling stressed and insecure, so Theo wants to be there for her and make her feel perfect.

Warnings: Smut (female-receiving oral and vaginal), insecurity, mentions of IED

Written by: Josie

A/N: Keep reading after the cut 👀

Disclaimer: GIF isn’t ours - credit to who it belongs to

Y/N sighed as the puffy red eyes of her reflection stared back at her through the mirror. This week had been… different. Every little thing had been going wrong, and each day brought more and more emotion, stress and insecurity. Her under-eyes were dark with exhaustion and her smile wasn’t as bright as it usually was - that is, when it showed itself anyway.

She didn’t even hear when her bedroom door opened and closed softly, didn’t register the light footsteps across her carpet moving toward her; not until the eyes of her boyfriend met hers in the mirror, round with concern. Seeing him so suddenly would usually have elicited a wide grin from Y/N, and she would jump into his arms, wrapping her legs around his waist. Yet, in the state she was in, his arrival made her feel as if she could finally let it all out. Her emotions overwhelmed her like a tidal wave, and her eyes prickled with tears.

“Theo,” she whispered, her voice cracking, and hurriedly turned around to bury her head in his neck. Almost like a reflex, Theo held her tightly to his chest as she cried, his hand rubbing up and down her trembling back. He slowly walked them backward until his legs hit the edge of her bed, and pulled her shaking body onto his lap.

“Shh, baby,” Theo hushed her sobs tenderly. “It’s okay.” Her head had made its way back to his neck, Y/N couldn’t even look up at him. He wouldn’t show it, because he had to be strong for her, but seeing his girl like this broke him to pieces inside. She was the only person who saw the good in him when everyone else tossed him aside as either a failure or a villain. Either way, he was a lost cause in the eyes of most people. Everyone really… well, everyone except her. Out of all of the people Theo had met in his life, he knew Y/N deserved to be happy more than anyone. She deserved to be cared for, celebrated, loved. As someone who dragged him out of his darkest places, Theo wanted nothing more than to help her out of hers.

Y/N sniffled, and slowly lifted her head from Theo’s shoulder, her eyes staring downward and avoiding the gaze of her boyfriend. She knew it hurt him to see her like this and she wished she could just… stop.

“Hey,” she heard him say. “Look at me Y/N.” His voice was rich with worry for the girl he loved, and she flinched at the thought of causing him grief. It was quick, but Theo saw it, and his heart snapped once again. Slowly, he raised his hand to her cheek, running his thumb along her cheekbone softly, collecting the tears that were slowly drying on her face. She subtly leaned into his touch without even realising she did it, it was like her body moved off it’s own accord, drawn to him. Gently, Theo moved his hand to Y/N’s chin and turned her head to face him.

For the first time since he’d arrived, Y/N finally let Theo see the pain in her eyes. They were glossy and slightly bloodshot, and Theo’s gaze softened at the sight of her vulnerability. “What’s wrong?” He asked a simply question, not wanting to overwhelm her.

“Everything,” she breathed. Theo’s fingers ran themselves through her hair, encouraging her to keep going. Initially she wanted to shrug him off and succumb to her feelings again, but she let him comfort her. “I’m just feeling everything all at once. Theo, I can’t-“

“It’s okay baby, it’s okay,” He held her cheeks delicately, scared to break her fragile form. “Breathe with me.”

It was something Theo had learned over the months. Sometimes Y/N really needed to calm down and just breathe slowly, in and out, exhaling the intensity of her feelings as much as her brain would allow. Though she hadn’t admitted it, Y/N realised that the method worked better when Theo led her through it.

After a minute or so of long, deep breaths, Y/N was no longer jolting with the ghosts of sobs from earlier. Theo continued to hold her close, remaining gentle but tight enough to always remind her that he was there for her. No matter what.

“This week has been so bad,” She began, and Theo stayed silent, realising that she was finally feeling comfortable enough to talk. He felt a small surge of pride flow through him at this, knowing that it was hard for her at times. “I’m stressed. I still have so much work to do, and deadlines are creeping up on me like a freakin’ predator. I’m worried for my brother, he’s struggling with his IED and he’s even been taking his meds, but they keep needing to up the dose and it kills me to see him in the state he gets. I keep screwing up too, like earlier I kept stalling the car, and I broke a photo frame yesterday morning, and I forgot to submit an assignment for grading at the beginning of the week. And I can’t sleep at night… Theo, I’m so tired.”

“Hey, come here,” Theo whispered, pulling her into another hug. “Okay, first of all, you are so smart and every time you get stressed about an assessment, you always go and smash it, don’t you?”

A smile threatened to pull at her lips at his confidence in her, and she nodded.

“Right,” Theo grinned. “Next thing, Liam is resilient, just like you. He won’t let one little setback get him down, and his meds will be sorted before you know it. Plus, he’s lucky to have you as a sister, you know that? You’re always there for him, everyone sees it.”

Y/N shifted on Theo’s lap, looking into his eyes as he spoke. “And,” He continued. “Everyone has weeks where they feel like they mess everything up, even super cool badasses like me.” Y/N giggled, spurring Theo on. “Someone as perfect as you doesn’t need to worry about a few little mistakes. They’re nothing, okay? Not important.” His hand moved soothingly up and down her arm, leaving goosebumps in their wake. “Is that everything?”

“Um, yeah…” Y/N trailed off quietly, suddenly avoiding her boyfriend’s eyes and sinking into herself. Theo knew her so well at this point that not a single subtle movement would go unnoticed, so he raised his eyebrows at her response. He knew she was holding back, and she knew that he knew. Sighing, Y/N gave in a little. “It’s stupid.”

“What have I always told you?” He said, smiling at her. “You can tell me anything. Anything at all. I’ll be there for you no matter what. You know that, don’t you?”

Y/N nodded and breathed in, slightly shakily. “I feel ugly, Theo.”

“What?” Theo whispered in disbelief, his eyes the size of saucers. He didn’t know what he’d expected, but it wasn’t that. “Baby-“

“I told you it was stupid-“

“No, it’s not that, it’s just-“ Theo searched for the words in his brain. He never thought he’d have to convince the most beautiful girl in the world that that’s what she was. He thought it was just common knowledge, really. “You and ‘ugly’ would never even fit in the same category. Not even in the same universe.”

“That’s just not true though,” Y/N stated, shaking her head, her eyes tired. “I can’t even look in the mirror at the moment. I feel like when I look, I’m not looking back at me. And it makes me cry. I’d rather not see myself at all than to look at that reflection.”

If Theo’s heart wasn’t broken before, the damage was definitely done now. Hearing Y/N, his girl, say that she wasn’t pretty, but ugly, made him feel all kinds of lost and confused, but more so sad, because he wished he could take away her pain and make it all disappear. Unfortunately, his powers of pain transference only worked on physical pain, and he silently cursed that fact.

“How can you not see what I see…” He whispered, almost more to himself than to her. “You know, the first time I saw you Y/N, even from a distance I knew I’d never see anyone as beautiful as you. And now I’m looking at you, months later, and I still think you’re just as stunning. You are gorgeous. You hear me? The most gorgeous ever.” Theo placed kisses on her nose, her cheeks, her forehead as he spoke, causing Y/N’s heart to flutter. His words stirred something in her, and the intensity of his eyes boring into hers made her forget about everything she was worried about. A wave of adoration for her boyfriend washed over her, and she cupped his cheeks delicately, a smile pulling at the corners of his lips.

Y/N didn’t have the words at that moment, all the emotion was caught in her throat, so she did what she felt conveyed her feelings best. She leaned forward and kissed him, Theo’s lips moving against hers immediately, as if by instinct. It was so soft, so pure, light as a feather. She pulled away from him all too soon, their eyes meeting each other once again, but Theo didn’t feel like stopping. “I want to show you how beautiful you really are,” He spoke lowly, holding her hand and giving a gentle squeeze. “Please baby. Let me show you.”

He didn’t have to explicitly say what he really meant by that for both of them to know, and his request sent warm shivers through her body. She spoke only one word: “Okay.”

Theo connected their lips again, harder this time. Even with just a kiss, he wanted to pour every ounce of love he had for her in it. He would make sure that he made her feel exactly how she deserves to feel. Her hands had moved to the back of his neck, plucking at the hairs on his head, while Theo held her as close as their bodies would allow.

His fingers slid up her t-shirt slightly, brushing the skin underneath. Theo’s fingers were so cold that Y/N gasped against his lips, so her boyfriend took the chance to slip his tongue into her mouth and explore. Slowly, he lifted her shirt up further and further until they were forced to pull away so Theo could tug it over her head and toss it on her bedroom floor.

Of course, Theo wanted to marvel her brilliance as best he could, so he gripped her by the waist and moved her carefully so she was laying flat on her bed, looking up at him. “So beautiful,” he murmured, and waisted no time in resuming their kiss. His hands travelled down her sides as their lips moved in sync like a perfectly choreographed dance, and his hips ground into hers - gently still, yet hard enough to give Y/N friction where she needed it the most.

He dragged his lips to her neck, sucking and biting on the skin to create dark marks to decorate her already perfect body. Theo considered it his finishing touch to her, as he knew she needed him as much as he needed her, which was what made them so perfect. Y/N’s hands roamed his back, one leg secured over his hip to keep him close, and Theo reached around to unclip her bra. His eyes widened - he would never get used to seeing her body like this, and she wasn’t even fully exposed to him yet.

“I love these so much,” He said, lowering his head to one breast and closing his mouth over her nipple, his tongue sliding across her sensitive skin. Y/N moaned as he simultaneously kneaded her other breast with his hand. “I love this one,” He said, moving away from the one he was playing with. “And I love this one.” Theo reattached his lips to her other breast, her rapidly increasing breaths spurring him on.

Y/N’s hips involuntarily bucked up at Theo’s, and he chuckled lightly against her skin at the movement. He trailed his lips back up to her collarbone, her neck, her jaw, all while dragging her leggings and her panties down her legs as far as he could. He pulled away from Y/N’s lips to crawl down the bed until he could completely reveal her entire body. Her leggings and panties discarded on the floor, Theo looked his girl in the eyes as he placed his hands on her thighs and lightly encouraged her legs apart.

Shivering with anticipation, Y/N watched her boyfriend wide-eyed as he licked one long stripe up her centre. Her eyelids fluttered, but she couldn’t bring herself to break the intense eye contact she held with Theo, until he began to flick his tongue against her clit. Her head fell back onto her pillow, arms flying down to grab onto Theo’s hair, feeling his head moving between her legs. She moaned as he licked and sucked at her clit, doing everything in his power to make her feel good, and it was music to his ears. He soon replaced his tongue with his fingers, rubbing her clit quickly, and started licking along her core, like it was his whole life’s purpose to do so.

“Fuck, Theo,” She whimpered, and Theo groaned against her at the sound of her saying his name in such a situation. Her voice held so much vulnerability yet so much excitement, so much feeling, so much love. The vibrations against her core sent waves of pleasure racing through her, and Theo watched through his eyelashes as her back arched off the bed.

Theo removed his mouth from her core, and her head whipped up briefly at the loss of contact, her eyes wide and pleading for something, anything. Barely moment after, Theo pushed two fingers inside her, pumping them at a quick pace. Y/N moaned louder, and Theo pulled himself up so his head was level with hers, staring directly into her eyes as his fingers worked their magic. “How good does this feel Princess?”

“So good,” Y/N breathed, barely being able to find it in herself to speak. She gripped onto his biceps as he continued his work between her legs, moaning with every thrust of his fingers. “It feels amazing.”

Theo smirked slightly, content that he was getting exactly the reaction from her that he set out to get, and leaned down to capture her lips with his once again. He added another finger and picked up the pace of his actions, his mouth drowning her voice as she cried out. He kissed her hard, drawing the breath out of her almost completely, and she could taste herself on his tongue which only brought her closer to the edge.

Feeling her walls clench around his fingers, Theo moved his lips around to her ear. “Are you gonna cum?” He said, his voice rough with his own arousal. He knew the answer, but he also knew that Y/N loved to hear his voice, and it somehow turned her on even more. All she could do at this point was nod frantically, her moans and whimpers making it impossible to get the words out. Theo sped up his actions even further, trying with everything he had to send her over the edge. “Cum for me baby.”

The words uttered into her ear sent her into ecstasy, and she let go screaming Theo’s name. He watched with his mouth hung open as her body pulsed and jolted as her orgasm washed over her in waves, her cries slowing into whimpers and her contorted face relaxing into one of sheer bliss.

A few moments later when Y/N had caught her breath, she reached down and palmed Theo’s bulge through his joggers, eyes widening when she realised how hard he already was. He groaned, dropping his head to her shoulder and tensing at her touch. “N- no, baby,” He stuttered out, voice rough from the feeling. Y/N was confused as he slowly moved her hand away, tilting her head to the side in a silent question. “Tonight is about you.”

Usually she would protest and say that they both need to be pleasured equally, but she wanted him so badly that she didn’t have it in her to argue. Frantically, she yanked his head down and smashed her lips against his, tongue and teeth clashing in desperation. All she wanted was him, and she didn’t want to wait any longer.

She pulled his shirt up his body, almost ripping the fabric with her speed, and he pulled away so she could pull it over his head. She loved to admire Theo’s toned chest and stomach, so she reached her hand down to feel up his abs. She tried to look, but Theo was adamant on her being the one who was worshipped, so he dipped his head and began sucking on her neck once again, causing her head to fall back and a moan to fall from her lips.

As he painted her neck with purple bruises, Y/N reached down and played with the waistband of his joggers, fiddling with the drawstrings. Theo felt her fingers brush him and growled against her neck, hurriedly standing up to yank them and his boxers to the ground, completely exposed before her.

Y/N whimpered at the sight of him, naked and ready for her, and he crawled back over her just as quickly as he’d stood up. Theo looked at her with dark eyes, wordlessly asking for permission to treat her to just what she deserved. “Please, Theo,” She whispered, and of course, Theo didn’t want to deny her anything she wanted, especially when she asked so nicely.

The two of them moaned in harmony, jaws dropped open, as Theo pushed himself inside her, easily sliding in due to her wetness. He moved all the way in until he felt like he was inside Y/N’s stomach, pausing there as they both breathed heavily from the sensation. “Feeling better?” Theo spoke thinly, smiling at his girlfriend’s expression of pure pleasure.

“Miles better,” She replied, thrusting her hips up at Theo, making it known that she wanted more. The chimera began to move, pushing in and out of her at an ever-increasing pace, making sure she felt every single inch of him to give her the best sex possible. Y/N hands roamed his back, nails scratching at it and breaking the skin as she moaned and cursed into his ear.

“Always so tight and wet for me,” Theo groaned, his hair falling messily over his forehead as he moved. “So perfect. Every inch of you is perfect.” He sped up his movements, making sure to hit the spot that gets her screaming, and grabbed at her breast with one hand and delicately stroking her cheek with the other. “I love you.”

Theo was going so deep and fast now, Y/N was so close. Her nails dug into his back as her release approached, unable to tear her eyes away from his as they glowed yellow from the adrenaline. “I love you too,” She spoke shakily, so nearly there, when Theo kissed her hard, knowing she was reaching her orgasm from her clenching walls.

“Now,” He spoke against her lips, and as soon as the word had left his lips, Y/N screamed out Theo’s name at the most euphoric feeling she had ever experienced, shaking and quivering around him. Moments later, as she was still feeling the high, she felt Theo slow his movements as he spilled into her, his own release washing through him like a tidal wave.

After coming down from their high, Theo flopped down next to her in bed, immediately pulling her close to rest her head on his chest, which was still rising and falling. He kissed her head lightly, stroking her hair affectionately, and then pulled the covers over their bodies. He knew Y/N was exhausted, not just from their activities but from her whole week. Her breathing had slowed and he realised she had already fallen into a relaxed slumber.

Theo smiled to himself - seeing his girl finally calm with no stress lines pulling at her face made his heart soar. He hated seeing her so upset, in fact it was his least favourite thing to see in the world, so he vowed to always be the one to lift her back up again.

Theo would always be there for her: rain or shine, any day, any time. And one day it’ll be ‘til death do them part. His smile lingered on his lips as he let his own eyelids closed and he joined her in her slumber, meeting her in her dream.

[robininthelabyrinth]

Spite in Misery - ao3

(rather silly AU of Delight in Misery, only even more petty and passive aggressive, and also slightly more JC/LWJ)

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

“What do you want?” Jiang Cheng asked.

“Sanctuary,” Lan Wangji said, prim and proper as he always was, the perfect untouchable iceberg as always, except maybe for the small child he was holding. “For me and my son.”

“Wait, you fuck?”

Wait, that wasn’t the right question.

“Why do you need sanctuary here?” Jiang Cheng asked, utterly bemused. “There isn’t a single place in the cultivation world you wouldn’t be welcomed –”

Except here.

“– and anyway, your brother, his sworn brothers, and your sect would demolish anyone who even thought about hurting you. Who in the world could you need sanctuary from?”

“My brother,” Lan Wangji said. “His sworn brothers, and my sect.”

Jiang Cheng stared at him.

Lan Wangji stared right back at him.

And then he collapsed.

“No,” Jiang Cheng said to the unconscious or possibly dead body currently lying across the threshold of the Lotus Pier and the small feverish-looking child in barely better state splayed out beside it. “I refuse to take responsibility for this!”

-

“You will not say anything about the room I have chosen to house you in,” Jiang Cheng said. “You will not complain about the food, the amenities, or make any requests whatsoever. Do you hear me?”

“Mm,” Lan Wangji said.

Jiang Cheng ought to have expected as much.

“And don’t think this means I’m going to like you or anything,” Jiang Cheng added self-righteously.

“I despise you with every drop of blood in my body,” Lan Wangji said.

“…so noted,” Jiang Cheng said.

After a moment, he added, “I don’t care!” and stormed out.

After yet another moment, he came right back into the room where he’d put Lan Wangji – it was just a convenient room, not specifically Wei Wuxian’s room, and if putting Lan Wangji in there meant he could delay having to clean out all the personal possessions left in there and actually repurpose it, that was his business and no one else’s – and said, “Why do you hate me, exactly?”

“Do you care?” Lan Wangji asked. He was examining the small cot Jiang Cheng had set up to put the still-unconscious and therefore nameless child on.

“Obviously,” Jiang Cheng said. “Or I wouldn’t have asked.”

“Mm,” Lan Wangji said.

Jiang Cheng waited a few moments, moments that grew longer and longer, and finally he realized – “You’re not planning on telling me?”

“I despise you,” Lan Wangji reminded him.

“Oh, you – you…!” Jiang Cheng ground his teeth together. “I’m the one giving you sanctuary, remember?”

“I came to you because you were the only one powerful enough to accomplish the task and spiteful enough to do it. I did not come here to owe you any favors.”

“Well, you’re going to owe me one anyway,” Jiang Cheng said, scowling at him. “You – you – ugh. Forget it!”

He stormed back out.

And then he realized he hadn’t actually brought the medicine that he’d intended to bring to Lan Wangji, so he had to go in and drop it off, but then he was finally able to storm away properly.

-

“I was under the belief we had agreed it would be best for us to see each other as little as possible,” Lan Wangji said, his voice even icier than usual – which was saying something.

“That’s right,” Jiang Cheng agreed, eying him warily. “I’m only here personally to drop off your medicine because it means fewer people know that you’re here.”

He’d thought that he would need to bring in a doctor for Lan Wangji’s injuries, but it turned out to be whip marks from a discipline whip and Jiang Cheng – well. Jiang Cheng knew everything there was to know about injuries like that.

Sure, he’d had to take A-Yuan to a doctor, he didn’t know shit about pediatric illnesses, but that was fine, it didn’t give the whole game away. Jiang Cheng was able to pass him off as some random sad orphan he’d taken pity on, which wasn’t far from what he suspected to be the truth.

“In that case,” and Lan Wangji’s voice was even colder, which how, “why do you live next door?”

“This was the only room available,” Jiang Cheng lied.

Lan Wangji glared death at him.

“Beggars can’t be choosers. I’m giving you sanctuary, aren’t I?” Jiang Cheng scowled. “Anyway, I told you that you weren’t allowed to complain about the room.”

Lan Wangji did not appear impressed.

“How’d you know I was next door, anyway?”

“You have nightmares.”

…right.

“I’ll invest in better soundproofing, then,” Jiang Cheng said haughtily. He wasn’t ashamed of having nightmares. After the life he’d lived, it was only to be expected.

“I don’t want to be around you at all,” Lan Wangji clarified.

“Too bad.”

“I don’t want you spending time with A-Yuan.”

Oh, so that was the real issue here. Well, in that case, the answer was still – “Too bad.”

“He’s my son.”

“He’s in my house,” Jiang Cheng said. “In my sect, in my lands, in my part of the cultivation world, which is the only reason you came here rather than literally anywhere else, remember? Because I’m a territorial bastard with a paranoid streak that won’t let anyone come look for you in here without hovering over their backs like a shadow, making it impossible for them to actually find you – sound familiar?”

Lan Wangji’s face twitched. “I did not say that.”

“You thought it,” Jiang Cheng said, and Lan Wangji’s silence proved he was right. “Anyway, I don’t care if you don’t like me spending time with A-Yuan. He’s one of the only people who can make Jin Ling laugh.”

“He wants to be his big brother,” Lan Wangji said. He sounded like he had swallowed glass.

“Okay,” Jiang Cheng said, not understanding. “Good for him?”

Brothers didn’t have to be biological, he thought, and that old pain tore through his heart the way it always did when he thought about Wei Wuxian.

“Worthless,” Lan Wangji said, glaring at him, and Jiang Cheng almost agreed with that assessment of himself – thoughts of Wei Wuxian usually had that effect – except of course it was Lan Wangji saying it, so naturally he had to disagree.

It was oddly reaffirming, actually. He might beat himself up as being worthless, useless and pathetic, a broken shell of a man who couldn’t keep a single member of his family alive, who had nothing and lived for nothing and existed purely for the sake of his sect and Jin Ling –

But the second Lan Wangji said that he was worthless, Lan Wangji who was wrong about everything, Jiang Cheng was immediately convinced that he was the best thing that had ever been invented.

Wait, was this how Wei Wuxian used to feel all the time?

No wonder he was always tormenting Lan Wangji.

-

“I brought you some books on physical rehabilitation,” Jiang Cheng announced. “No, don’t thank me - the sooner you’re better, the sooner you can leave.”

“It will not be too soon,” Lan Wangji said.

Personally, Jiang Cheng didn’t think Lan Wangji was going to be leaving for at least another year, maybe a few more years, not with that many strikes of the discipline whip to heal and his disordered qi to straighten out, but it was nice for both of them to see a destination at the end of the road in which they didn’t have to see each other all the time. Either way, he agreed, so he wasn’t going to ruin the rare moment of complete harmony by being persnickety.

“You should knock before entering,” Lan Wangji added, prissy as always.

Jiang Cheng rolled his eyes. He probably should have, yes, but he always had the ‘it’s my house’ thing to fall back on. This was the Lotus Pier where the rules of the Lan sect didn’t apply, and as far as he was concerned, that was reason enough to ignore etiquette. Anyway, Lan Wangji was here alone and healing just the way he’d been doing the past few months, what exactly was he going to be doing that Jiang Cheng might walk in on –

“Oh,” Jiang Cheng said when Lan Wangji attempted, with dignity, to extract his hands from inside his clothing, which was unfortunately not something he could do subtly. “Were you trying to jerk off?”

Lan Wangji looked mutinous.

“…were you failing to jerk off?”

Lan Wangji now looked like he wanted to rip Jiang Cheng limb from limb, even though it ought to have been clear enough that Jiang Cheng would only think to ask the question because he’d had a similar issue for a while there. The time after his family had died had been brutal, and he couldn’t even use getting off as a shortcut to fall asleep because every time he tried he couldn’t keep it up; it’d been awful. He’d been terrified that he’d broken his own dick somehow, which led to worries that he wouldn’t be able to have kids in the future and thereby fail his parents and ancestors in a brand new and yet unexplored way, which led to even more panic and even less sleeping. It hadn’t been until someone (he suspected Nie Mingjue, bizarrely enough) shoved a medical treatise about trauma reactions under his door that he’d realized it was a fairly normal aftereffect and managed to calm down a little.

Nie Mingjue had also given him so much work to do that Jiang Cheng hadn’t had time to even think about that sort of thing until nearly half a year later, at which point everything was working again and he’d completely forgotten it was even an issue until halfway into the afterglow.

Good man, that Nie Mingjue.

“If it’s a symptom, you need to tell me these things,” Jiang Cheng said, taking far too much wretched enjoyment out of the whole thing. He’d give Lan Wangji the trauma book, of course – he still had it – but he had to get his wins in where he could against the perfect iceberg, cheap shots or no. “As your current attending doctor, I’m responsible for your care –”

“It is unwanted but necessary. It is simply something that I must endure,” Lan Wangji said grimly, and Jiang Cheng raised his eyebrows.

The book had covered that, too, although that hadn’t been his problem, personally.

“Oh, I see,” he said. “You keep getting hard, is that it? And then retraumatizing yourself when you try to jerk off, which means you can’t satisfy the need, which means you can’t solve the getting hard all the time problem, which in turn affects your cultivation and so your healing…yeah, I see the issue. You should probably get someone else to do it for you if you get really desperate.”

“I see no one but you,” Lan Wangji said through gritted teeth.

A problem, Jiang Cheng admitted.

Still mostly Lan Wangji’s problem, though.

“Well,” he said with the smarmiest smirk he could manage, “as your attending doctor –”

Lan Wanjgji threw a book at his head.

-

“What are you planning on doing once you’re better?” Jiang Cheng wondered.

“Why are you talking to me?” Lan Wangji replied.

“Oh come on,” Jiang Cheng said. “How can you say such a thing after taking advantage of me? I let you into my home –”

“You will not be able to rely upon that fact forever.”

“I will be able to rely on that fact for eternity,” Jiang Cheng disagreed. “I let you into my home, I hid you away from the world – which isn’t actually as easy as I make it look, just so you know! Your brother is practically scouring the earth –”

Lan Wangji looked like he’d bitten into something extremely sour.

“I’m sorry, did you think he was not going to do that? And recruit his sworn brothers to help him?” Jiang Cheng asked. “I thought the whole point of this was – well –”

“It was.”

“Then what’s the problem?”

“I do not enjoy hearing of it.”

“Listen, if you’re going to decide to torture someone by turning your back on them and disappearing without a word, you should at least have the guts to own it.”

“You speak from experience, I take it.”

“As a matter of fact, I do. Did you somehow forget everything that happened back then with Wei Wuxian?”

“…you were the one who turned your back on Wei Ying.”

Jiang Cheng laughed disbelievingly. “Oh, yeah, sure,” he jeered. “Because I was so well-known for my backbone when it came to Wei Wuxian. I definitely was the one to come up with the idea to throw him out of my sect and cut ties, yeah, definitely, that’s completely what happened. I mean, obviously, I always got my way when dealing with him, every time, that’s how it always was between us. He had nothing to do with it.”

Lan Wangji was glaring at him. “Not then,” he said, each word cutting like a sword. “The Nightless City.”

“You mean the time he arrogantly and completely without warning started a fight that got my sister killed and then murdered three thousand people, including some of the very few family members and friends I had left?”

Lan Wangji was silent.

“You do mean that time,” Jiang Cheng said, marveling. “Are you insane? Even if I wanted to, if I took his side then, I’d have had no claim later on to grab him as a prisoner before anyone else did. The Jin would have executed him for sure! And slowly!”

“The Burial Mounds –”

“He imploded in front of my face!” Jiang Cheng shouted. “I had to see – when he – he died! He was – he did – you don’t even know – no, you know what, I’m not talking about this. Not with you of all people; you hated him.”

Lan Wangji’s hands were fists. “I did not.”

“No? You did a good job of acting like you did,” Jiang Cheng sneered. “Always talking about how you wanted to drag him back to Gusu just because it would make you feel better –”

“Better than leaving him.”

“I did what he wanted! And yes, fine, maybe that was my mistake. Maybe I should’ve ignored what he wanted, maybe I should’ve dragged him back to the Lotus Pier and locked him in a little room for the rest of his life the way everyone knows your dad did to your mom – ”

Lan Wangji flinched.

In fairness, Jiang Cheng was exaggerating about everyone knowing. He only knew about it because he’d heard his mother spit it out at his father during one of their nastier fights, and he was pretty sure she wasn’t supposed to have known about it, either.

“– but stupid me, I thought he’d be happier being free and alone than stuck with someone he clearly didn’t want to be around him anymore! But what do I know? Maybe I should ask you, you selfish bastard. You’re the one in his position this time, you’re the one who’s doing the turning away – I bet you don’t even know what it’s like to be the one that’s not wanted.”

Lan Wangji stared down at his hands as Jiang Cheng jumped up to his feet, Zidian crackling to life in his hand despite himself, persisting even though he tried to suppress it.

“I’m going to go hunt down some demonic cultivators,” he said, trying in vain to keep his temper even a little bit and knowing it was a lost cause. “And then I’m going to bring them back here and make them scream somewhere you can hear it. You can chew on that with some glass for all I care!”

-

“You handled that last one well,” Lan Wangji said. It sounded like someone was pulling teeth from his head.

“You’re sick,” Jiang Cheng announced. “I will go get some fever medicine at once. Are you experiencing any other symptoms in addition to hallucinations? Or should I be checking for signs of possession instead?”

Lan Wangji was back to glaring at him.

“I don’t know what drove that sudden spurt of niceness and I don’t care to know,” Jiang Cheng informed him. “I don’t need your approval.”

Lan Wangji ignored him. That was more customary.

Also unfortunate, because Jiang Cheng managed to get less than half a shichen of work done before coming back into Lan Wangji’s room (not Wei Wuxian’s room) and saying, “Okay, what exactly did I do?”

Lan Wangji looked at him sidelong.

“Seriously,” Jiang Cheng said. “What did I do that was so impressive that even you approved of it?”

“The demonic cultivator. The last one.”

Jiang Cheng frowned, thinking about it. “The – stupid one, you mean?”

Lan Wangji stared at him, and then looked at the ceiling, long-suffering. “The one from Yunping.”

“The stupid one,” Jiang Cheng confirmed, and then he was ranting again because he couldn’t seem to stop ranting about it. “I can’t believe the idiot got into demonic cultivation as a way to make money! That’s just – it’s just – if I ever figure out who paid him, I’m going to rearrange their guts with my sword. Lousy rotten opportunistic…!” He coughed, realizing he’d gotten started again when he’d promised Jiang Meimei that he’d stop. It apparently got old after the sixth repetition. “Anyway, what’s so notable about that?”

“You accepted him as an outer disciple of your own sect.”

“Well, yeah. What else was I going to do with him? He’s clearly got some talent for cultivation if he figured out demonic cultivation without dying. It’d be a waste to send him back to be a fisherman or a dockworker or something.”

“You didn’t kill him.”

“I’m not going to kill someone who got into demonic cultivation as a way to raise funds to get medicine for his sick mother,” Jiang Cheng said, rolling his eyes. “The idiot’s on tomb-sweeping duty for the next year to make up for having manipulated corpses the way he did, that’s punishment enough. It’s not at all comparable to the usual sort of amateur demonic cultivator, the ones that summon corpses to torment former lovers or murder business partners or that sort of thing – those are the ones I use as an example to warn everyone else. What’s the big deal?”

Lan Wangji said nothing.

“Fine, keep your secrets. Can you watch Jin Ling today? I have a – uh – important meeting.”

“Another woman that you have no intention of actually marrying?”

“Shut up and mind your own business.”

-

“No, but seriously,” Jiang Cheng said. “What are you going to do once you’re better?”

“I don’t want to talk to you,” Lan Wangji said, his voice muffled on account of his face being firmly in his hands. “Go away.”

“Listen, we’re still neighbors, we still need to talk. There’s no point in being suddenly shy about it just because you’re still in the acceptance phase of grief in connection with the whole me helping you with getting off business –”

“Never speak of it.”

Jiang Cheng sniggered. He wouldn’t have pegged the Lan sect as having uncontrolled libidos, much less Lan Wangji, but apparently the situation had gotten truly dire. Anyway, really, getting mockery rights was totally worth an arm work-out and having to put up with Lan Wangji, the latter of which he had to do anyway.

“You really are taking advantage of me now, though! My poor virtue –”

Lan Wangji looked at him through his fingers. “You don’t have any virtue.”

“Really?” Jiang Cheng asked, suddenly curious. “I strike you as someone with a lot of experience –”

“I meant morally.”

“Oh. Hey!”

Lan Wangji rolled his eyes. “Pathetic.”

“Not as pathetic as someone who won’t answer a straight question,” Jiang Cheng said. “What’s your plan for after you’re healed? Are you going back to the Lan sect? Or start traveling as a rogue cultivator?”

“Why do you care?” Lan Wangji asked.

“I can care!”

“But you don’t. Not about my affairs.”

Jiang Cheng had to admit this was correct. “Fine,” he said. “I need a name.”

Lan Wangji frowned at him.

“For A-Yuan,” Jiang Cheng said. “It’s been a year. The kid’s as healthy as he’s ever going to be, and he’s old enough for me to shove him in with the rest of the younger generation now that we’re starting lessons back up – cultivation, swordsmanship, shooting, etiquette, all the usual. But I can’t register him in the class without a surname, and I need to know if that surname’s going to be Lan or if you plan on changing it to something else.”

Lan Wangji was frowning at him.

“I know, I know, you’re in hiding,” Jiang Cheng said. “It’s fine, it won’t give you away even if you do pick ‘Lan’. I can register him as a Yunmeng Lan instead of a Gusu Lan, the surname’s common enough that no one will suspect anything unless you make him start wearing a forehead ribbon, which I don’t think you lot do at this age yet anyway. But if you’re planning on continuing to hide from your family after you get better, you’re going to need to do something about all of that.”

Lan Wangji looked sour.

“Anyway, long story short, that’s it. Your plans, I need to know them.”

Lan Wangji looked even more sour.

“Well? What is it?”

“We will return to the Lan sect,” Lan Wangji said.

“Not that hard, was it,” Jiang Cheng said. “I knew you were just throwing a temper tantrum.”

Lan Wangji rolled his eyes.

After a moment, he said, “What do we do about Jin Ling?”

“What do you mean, ‘what do we do about Jin Ling’?” Jiang Cheng asked suspiciously. “I had to fight half of Lanling Jin for the right to raise him here, we’re not doing anything about Jin Ling – anyway, who’s ‘we’? He’s my nephew!”

“A-Yuan sees him as a little brother.”

This was true.

“They will not want to part.”

…also true.

“Moreover,” and here Lan Wangji looked especially sour, “I believe A-Yuan has taken you as something of a – second parent.”

“Well, that’s nice,” Jiang Cheng said. “He’s a cute kid. Anyway, don’t take it so personally. Kids just do that, they adopt any adult in the vicinity as their own. I mean, certainly Jin Ling thinks of you as…wait. Wait. Are we co-parenting?!”

“Mm. Took you long enough to notice.”

-

It had been a bad day, a bad week, and a bad month, and Jiang Cheng’s temper, never good, was on the verge of imploding, so naturally that was when he completely lost all self-control he might have had and marched over to Lan Wangji’s room to blurt out, “Why do you hate me?”

Lan Wangji’s hands stilled over his guqin.

“I know why I hate you, even putting aside the fact that you’re a jackass with the emotional capacity of a brick,” Jiang Cheng said. “But I really have no idea what I did to you to make you hate me.”

There were so many options, after all. He was a cruel, vicious, and bitter man – he was a terrible parent, unlikable as a friend, barely sufficient as a sect leader, and such a failure at connecting socially with anyone that he’d been blacklisted as a marriage prospect despite being handsome, young, rich, and powerful. There were so many reasons to hate him.

But he didn’t know which one was the one that made Lan Wangji look at him with disdain, even if he thought that perhaps there was slightly less of that these days than there had been before.

“I hate you because you abandoned Wei Ying when he needed you,” Lan Wangji said. “He was your brother, and you left him behind – more than that, you led the charge against him, resulting in his death.”

…that was a good reason.

Jiang Cheng wouldn’t mind being hated for that reason, actually. It was a nice change from all those people who congratulated him for having done the right thing: all those smug sect leaders that comforted him for having raised a white-eyed wolf in the family, the ones that said his actions showed that he had a good backbone and a righteous bearing, the ones that had the gall to send him gifts of congratulation on the anniversary of Wei Wuxian’s death to thank him for his contribution to the cultivation world when all he wanted was to be left alone to mourn…

“That’s fine,” he croaked. “Okay. Yes. That’s – fine.”

“Why do you hate me?” Lan Wangji asked in turn. “You said you knew.”

“Oh, that,” Jiang Cheng said. “Same reason.”

Lan Wangji stared.

Jiang Cheng shrugged. “I mean, I know you were always harsh on him when we were together at your uncle’s lectures, which was completely fair given how much he was always bothering you. But he really did try sincerely to help you when we were all the Wen sect’s camp, and in the cave with the Xuanwu – but after, in the war, when he showed up with his demonic cultivation, you suddenly turned on him even though he was just doing it to help. You kept telling him he had to stop, even though you knew he was doing so much for the war effort, and you wanted to take him back to Gusu to do who-knows-what to him…you even snatched him away during the battle of the Nightless City! I saw you. I was so afraid you were going to kill him, I completely lost my head. I looked for you everywhere – I really don’t know how he was lucky enough to get away from you that time.”

Lan Wangji stared at him.

“And then you didn’t even bother to show up to the siege of the Burial Mounds in person,” Jiang Cheng added, feeling bitter. “After I heard from the Lan sect that he escaped from you, I briefly thought that you’d changed your mind and let him go. I was counting on you to be at the Burial Mounds to support me in claiming him as a Jiang sect prisoner – I had Chifeng-zun signed on, if reluctantly, and with you leading the Lan I could’ve made a decent argument. But then you didn’t show, either you or your brother; instead you sent your uncle, and of course there wasn’t even any point in asking him, was there?”

“…I didn’t know,” Lan Wangji said. His voice sounded strangely hoarse. “I wasn’t informed. It was shortly after…”

He nodded at his own shoulder, meaning the disaster on his back. Jiang Cheng hadn’t asked how it happened – he really wanted to know, as in really, really, really wanted to know, but even he was aware that actually asking would be unbearably rude. Still, he was surprised by the timing of it. How had Lan Wangji managed to end up in the hands of his enemies then? Who had even been left to do it to him?

“Yeah, well,” Jiang Cheng said, shaking his head to try to kick away his curiosity the way he would something clinging to his foot. “You were still a bastard to him when he needed you, so I hate you.”

He frowned.

“Also, you hate me,” he said. “So I hated you back just for that. Though I guess, since your reason for hating me is valid, maybe I should stop hating you back for that?”

He considered it.

“No,” he decided. “You’re too annoying not to hate.”

“The same for you,” Lan Wangji said after an unusual hesitation.

Jiang Cheng nodded and, feeling oddly relieved at not having found a new basis for self-hatred, departs.

-

“So once you’ve reestablished yourself at the Cloud Recesses, we’ll exchange extended visits on a regular basis so the kids can see each other,” Jiang Cheng said, and Lan Wangji nodded. “A minimum of three weeks per season, whether in the Lotus Pier or Cloud Recesses, and preferably double that.”

“Agreed.”

“In the meantime, you’ll work on getting the trade agreement we hammered out through your brother and sect elders as recompense for the time you spent here.”

“Mm.”

“An agreement whose source you will be disclosing very carefully because the Venerated Triad will not hesitate to murder me if they figure out without adequate warning it was me that was housing you for all this time.”

Lan Wangji said nothing and promised nothing.

Bastard.

Still, after nearly three years, Jiang Cheng was pretty used to it.

“Okay,” Jiang Cheng said. “Is there anything I’ve left out?”

“Joint night-hunts.”

“Right, right, we’ll make a point of regularly going on joint night-hunts – wait, why are we doing that? You don’t need me to watch your back now that you’re fully healed.”

Lan Wangji’s gaze wandered.

“Oh,” Jiang Cheng said. “So we can keep having hate-sex on the regular?”

“…mm.”

“Why didn’t you just say so? It’s not like I’m doing anything else – or anyone else. Blacklisted, remember?”

“Unsurprising,” Lan Wangji said, like the bastard he was.

Jiang Cheng rolled his eyes. “Yeah, well, whatever. The set-up works, doesn’t it? I’m blacklisted, you’re apparently eternally pining for Wei Wuxian of all people – your taste is the worst – so who’s going to call us out on it? Go on, get out of here already. I’ll see you next month.”

-

“Well,” Jiang Cheng said, looking between the newly resurrected Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji, abruptly made of an issue he had hitherto not considered based on Lan Wangji’s screaming body language. “This is. Uh. Awkward?”

[earnestly-endlessly]

kind of an odd request — do you have fics where erik is grumpy with everyone else but a ray of sunshine with charles?

Hi anon, thank you for the ask. First and foremost, I'm so sorry for how long this took me but I've been searching for all the fics that come to mind that fit your request. Second, this is not an odd request because I love this trope so much. I mean, it's basically canon that he's grumpy with everyone except for his Charles, right? Anyway, I might add to this list later on, but I can't sit on this any longer and hope that you have found some fics that you enjoy!!

Fic Recs Where Erik is grumpy with everyone but a ray of sunshine with Charles

Twice as Blind – Darksknight

Summary: Erik is probably the biggest asshole on the face of the earth, and because of this, he'll probably die alone. Charles is a complete flirt and playboy and, probably, will never commit to anyone ever.

(The lesson here is that when you have two friends who are BOTH secretly seeing someone, well, it's probable that they're seeing each other.)

In the moonlight, on a joy ride – scarlettblush

Summary: Librarian AU. Charles is the young librarian and Erik is the college student who is completely besotted with him.

The Proper Care of Actors – Clear_Liqueur, Clocks, Etherei, afrocurl

Summary: Erik is an A-list action star who is notoriously difficult to work with, until the day he gets cast alongside Charles Xavier, rom-com darling who can charm the pants off movie audiences the world over and apparently even one Erik Lehnsherr. The paparazzi catch them out and about soon enough, and their real-life Hollywood movie romance becomes instant tabloid fodder.

Rumor Mill – ikeracity

Summary: Erik is the grumpiest, most foul tempered worker at Stark industries. His grumpiness is the stuff of legends.

So it's obviously the talk of the office when Erik is being made to go to the company party and he's bringing his husband. There's rumors flying round about how much of a masochist or equally antisocial bastard Erik's husband must be to put up with him. Others think he must be a meek mouse perhaps bullied by Erik.

What they weren't expecting was the confident, charming, adorable and unbelievably nice Charles that turns up on Erik's arm. What they certainly weren't expecting was how much Erik obviously adores his husband and how happy he is to let others see this.

Work/Life Balance – pocky_slash

Summary: Alex is pretty sure his weird, anti-social boss is a robot. Right up until the guy's adorable husband shows up. His adorable husband who happens to be a famous actor. His adorable husband who happens to be the very same famous actor who was the source of many of Alex's teenage fantasies.

Terrifying Domesticity – ishipitsobad

Summary: Erik is the most dangerous and notorious mafia boss around for miles, and yet the strangest things terrify him.

For example: his children, and his very pregnant mate.

Of kittens and teacups and love – Ren

Summary: Modern AU in which Charles and Erik are flatmates. Charles studies psychology and likes tea and chess and keeps bringing home stray kittens, and Erik lets him because he's maybe perhaps a little bit sort of in love with him.

Fools Rush In – LoveSupreme

Summary: Erik owns a cafe on the edge of campus and accidentally starts maybe-stalking a Biology Professor there.

Growing Pains – ikeracity

Summary: Twelve-year-old Erik Lehnsherr is an angry, closed-off foster kid with trust issues and a bad temper. Ten-year-old Charles Xavier is a lonely kid in boarding school who just wants a friend.

Logan pretends he doesn't think they're both fucking adorable.

Series

Home Together (The Finding Our Way Remix) – significantowl

Summary: Erik is not the sort of person other students strike up conversations with. His expression, his posture, every part of his manner say: Don’t talk to me. I don’t want to talk to you. But none of that stops the boy ahead of him in line with the collapsible white cane, and nothing can stop Erik from falling for him, like it or not.

Melted Ice Cream and Macaroni Art – pocky_slash

Summary: Everybody likes Charles. Nobody likes Erik. And that's really the source of Erik's doubts. Also, there's ice cream and a baby. Part of ‘the Daycare’ verse.

Walling in or Walling Out – stlkrchck

Summary: Erik stifles a sigh. Of course this is Mr. C. F. Xavier. Of course.

For the prompt: Charles and Raven are throwing a holiday party. Erik is the grumpy neighbor who is annoyed by how loud they are being. So he goes to complain, and Charles makes it up to him.

(Wise Men Say) Only Fools Rush In – wildelybroken

Summary: After reading a fic where Erik and Charles are super sluts, meet at what is presumably Raven and Emma's engagement party, and end up sleeping together, I made the following comment and just inspired myself.

"They start casually texting each other throughout the day, maybe while they’re bored or frustrated at work, and start out meeting up and sleeping together semi-frequently. And eventually they accidentally start dating without noticing it at first, not until Raven and Emma get them alone and are like “wtf you two super sluts are actually dating??” And at first they deny, but then they’re both like “holy shit, we are!” And they meet back at one of their places and they don’t have to say anything, they just look at each other and come together immediately, kissing passionately and ~making love~. In the middle of it they realise that’s what they’ve been doing for a long time now and they confess their love to each other and they live happily ever after because they deserve all the good in the world."

For Charles – Shigai

Summary: Tired of being told he has to find his 'heart', classical piano graduate Erik Lehnsherr decides to travel to Italy and drink from the famous Italian passion for music. While searching for it, he meets Charles Xavier, a graduate in Fine Arts who is basically travelling around the world perfectioning his technique, and who will turn his world upside down.

Together they will discover that, sometimes, what you thought you didn't need is what you needed the most.

Erik Hates People – Anonymous

Summary: Erik hates people- it's his rule, a way of living.

Sugar – humanitys_cutest

Summary: Erik glances at the clock for what feels like the tenth time in less than half the minutes. It feels like he's been in some meeting or other since the day started almost 10 hours ago, and he's had just about enough of listening to these pompous old men discuss what would be the best design for his building like they know anything about it. He tries as subtly as possible to massage his temples to assuage the building migraine, but he knows it's no use.

He just wants to go home.

Everyone Likes Charles – Rosawyn

Summary: '“Everyone who's met him likes him.” Cain's grin was even stupider than before. “Once you meet him, you'll see.”

It was almost like a challenge then. And damn. Erik hated saying no to a challenge.'

Still Going Strong – JackyJango

Summary: Speaking of forty-eight, Erik hates it. Hates it even more that others are aware of it. While he’s pragmatic enough to know and accept that aging is inexorable, the increase in number gives the people around him the freedom to pounce at him with questions, opinions and advice he'd fought to keep at bay all year.

Besides, Erik believes that youth is a state of mind, not a phase in one’s life.

You have a child’s mind in a man’s body, Charles constantly tells him.

But despite his age, Erik is healthy. He works out daily. His muscles are steel and he can dead-lift four hundred pounds. He can break bones without breaking a sweat. Most importantly, he can still carry Charles to the bedroom and fuck him senseless. And as long as Erik can do that, he’s perfectly happy.

All I know is pouring rain and everything has changed – hllfire

Summary: Charles meets Erik, the man he had heard about many times from his sister and some friends, on a rainy Sunday morning. The stories about Erik paint him as a distant and intimidating man, but Charles finds out that maybe the stories had been wrong.

How to Successfully Ruin Your Life – humanveil

Summary: Seventeen-year-old Charles Xavier accepts a job at his local café, expecting nothing more than a fun, new pastime. What he gets is a mysterious customer and a schoolboy crush.

Stolen – ishipitsobad

Summary: Erik is a miserable, grumpy, cantankerous bastard, and he has every fucking right to be. He drew the short end of the stick when he got the Underworld as his domain, and there isn't very much fun to be had in judging and governing dead souls who would rather be anywhere else but with Erik in the depths of Hell.

So when he meets Charles, brilliant and lovely Charles who is more popularly known amongst the mortals as Persephone, and feels the promise of something wonderful that could make his eternally doomed existence infinitely more bearable... you can bet all your drachmas Erik's not going to let Charles go any fucking time soon.

Erik Lehnsherr's Guide to Saving the Universe By Meeting Your Soul-Mate and Falling in Love in Less than 72 Hours – magneto, pangea

Summary:Army Pilot Erik Lehnsherr is just trying to enjoy his day off when a mostly naked person crashes through the roof of his car. Even more alarming, the strange falling naked person—who goes by Charles Xavier when he's not speaking an ancient dead language—brings tidings of the apparent potential end of the world, and begs Erik to help him put a stop to it.

Well. His mother has been nagging at him to go out and meet new people.

The Theory of Partnership Dynamics – Pangea

Summary: “Detective Lehnsherr, how wonderful to see you out on the job!” The fed in the front greets him as they draw nearer. He’s shorter than the other two by a full head, and he’s beaming at Lehnsherr as if completely undeterred by Lehnsherr’s paint-peeling scowl.

“What do the feds want?” Lehnsherr asks bluntly.

“You know I can’t tell you that,” the fed answers cheerfully. Then his gaze lands on Alex, and, impossibly, his grin gets even brighter. “Did you get a new partner?"

“No,” Lehnsherr says through his teeth while at the same time Alex says, “Yes.”

[candyflosstoxicity]

Wanna Be Your Setting Lotion

Endeavor x Black!Reader

Warnings: 18+, minors DNI. Power imbalance. Unsafe sex. Creampie. Breeding kink. Breath play. Pain play.

Despite the sizable uptick in his popularity after triumphing over the High-End Nomu, Enji still felt that his ability to relate to the everyday civilians was sorely lacking. There was still some doubt amongst the masses that he could be a suitable replacement for All Might. As much as that stung his ego, Enji knew that their misgivings weren’t unfounded.

He had promised his son that he would become a hero that he could be proud to call his father, and that meant more than just saving lives. Enji had to work to build a relationship with the public, and be a hero that was not only powerful, but approachable and relatable.

So, with his secretary’s assistance, Enji reached out to the most highly recommended media relations agency in Musutafu and requested that they pair him with a very particular type of publicist. He made sure to specify that they had to be thick-skinned and prepared to undertake all the work that would come with being the publicist to the number one hero. Though he had certainly made some important changes within himself, he still didn’t know how to talk to people and didn’t want to send the publicist running for the hills.

That was how you ended up standing outside the Endeavor Hero Agency. The glass skyscraper gleamed brightly under the sun, and really impressed upon you that this was happening. You had been assigned your first hero, but not just any run of the mill hero and it honestly had you feeling nervous in a way that you never had before. It’s not as if you doubted your ability to manage and improve the Flame Hero’s public image, but this was a major assignment that could either launch your career into the stratosphere or sink it like a stone.

After taking a few deep breaths to steady yourself, you walked briskly through the front entrance and into the main lobby, where you were greeted by the receptionist. You explained who you were and what you were there for, and she immediately hopped up from her desk in a panic and hastily led you to the elevator. It did nothing to quell your anxiety, because if his receptionist was losing her cool, what chance did you have against the man?

Upon reaching the top floor, the receptionist all but shoved you out of the elevator, giving you a hasty “good luck” while frantically pushing the button to close the door. You stumbled forward and were faced with a large, hardwood door. Having decided that you simply could not delay your assignment any further, you squared your shoulders, took decisive steps forward, and knocked on the door.

---------------------

That was several months ago, and you could say with hindsight that you were right to be anxious. While working for Endeavor was the best way to cut your teeth as a publicist, the man himself was...something fucking else.

It wasn’t just that he was physically intimidating, with his towering height and mountains of muscle. Honestly, you were able to quickly get past that and start working towards building a friendly, yet professional relationship with your boss. Except, he was the most tight-lipped, awkward person you had ever dealt with when he wasn’t in the process of saving lives. And when he was actually somewhat talkative, he was so intense that it left you flustered.

However, Enji always treated you with respect and courtesy, and when you did well, he told you as much. Heat would crawl its way from the top of your head to the tips of your toes whenever he would tell you, “You’ve done excellent work this week, (L/N)-san. Your efforts are appreciated.”

To anyone else and coming from anyone else, it might not mean much, but Todoroki Enji wasn’t just anyone. He had high standards for all of his employees, and you were no exception. Praise from him was hard to come by, and when it was directed at you, it made you feel some type of way.

It was obvious to everyone with a pulse that Enji was an incredibly attractive man. Indeed, every interview you scheduled for him with a female journalist found him being inundated with coy smiles, flirting, and pointed questions about his relationship status.

To be fair, you had asked him the same question, but only because it was important for you to know as the person who handled all of his public relations. It definitely wasn’t because you were lusting after your client and hoping that he was free to maybe, someday, knock your walls down.

Still, you had always prided yourself on being the consummate professional, so you refrained from asking any questions that were too personal. Even though you were so often alone with Enji in his penthouse office, with little to no interruption, and a lot of plush furniture he could fuck you on…

You shook your head sharply, your dark, curly hair moving with the motion. ‘Focus, bitch. Don’t be a goofy and try to fuck your boss. He would probably fire your ass before you could ask for a crumb of dick.’

It didn’t matter if you hadn’t gotten laid since you started working as his publicist; you were NOT going to fuck Todoroki Enji.

Little did you know, Enji was enduring his own share of suffering and sexual frustration. And he had no intentions of denying himself. For him, it was simply a matter of opportunity.

--------------------------

It was finally Friday evening, and Enji was more than ready for the weekend. After a solid week of double patrols, while squeezing in PR appearances that you had set up for him, he just wanted to sit down in his recliner at home and have a stiff drink. He was sitting at his desk with his laptop open, finishing up some last minute paperwork on a report he needed to submit to the Hero Public Safety Commission by Monday.

Just as he put the final signature on the last page, you came bursting through his office door, without knocking, of course. Not that he minded; it was always a treat to see you, even if you were a bit...distracting. Your shapely legs carried you briskly towards his desk and he couldn’t help but admire how enticing they looked sheathed in your sheer stockings. He almost missed what you were trying to tell him, too busy imagining them wrapped around his waist.

“Endeavor-san, I’m sorry to disturb you right before quittin’ time, but I just finalized the details of your appearance on Present Mic’s late night radio show for next weekend,” you chirped with no small amount of satisfaction. Ah, right; Enji had agreed to make time for that, considering Mic was very popular with the young crowd and an appearance on his show would do wonders for his popularity with that demographic.

“He promised to keep it light and casual, and most of the time block will be spent playing some music that you both enjoy. I cross-referenced his playlist with the list you compiled, and y’all have some bangers in common. We’ll need to go over your note cards again, but I’m sure you’ve got that part covered by now.”

Your eyes were focused on the folder in your hands, flipping through the papers there as you went over the last minute details. Enji’s eyes were watching you, though, and he found himself struggling to give a damn about Present Mic or his radio show. Not when you were standing before him, a radiant vision of smooth brown skin and a halo of curls. How badly he wanted to sink his fingers into them and tug your head back, make you submit to him…

“Endeavor-san, are you listening?”

The question coming from your pretty lips, in that sweet, but sharp voice, was enough to finally get his attention. He tore his gaze from your petite frame and looked up to see your dark brown eyes staring at him sternly. Enji coughed and shifted in his chair, trying to subtly adjust his now rock hard dick.

“My apologies, (Y/N), I’m a bit worn out from this week,” he hastily assured you. “If you wouldn’t mind emailing those notes to me, I will look over them again this weekend.”

Your expression softened and you tossed the folder onto his desk before walking around to the side and perching yourself on the edge. Enji could practically feel the blood rush to his dick with you sitting so close to him, the scent of your perfume immediately clouding his mind. Your already short skirt rode up even higher and he had to force himself to look you in the eye, which he regretted shortly after.

“Have I been riding you too hard, sir?”

Enji’s eyes narrowed slightly at you, thinking that you must be toying with him. But, your face was devoid of cunning, and you seemed genuinely concerned for his well-being. He wasn’t used to that kind of consideration from really anyone, especially not one of his employees.

“No, far from it. You probably take it a bit too easy on me, but you still produce amazing results. I would be completely clueless about this public relations crap if I didn’t have someone as bright and clever in my corner,” Enji rumbled, almost bashfully, the tips of his ears still pink from your accidental innuendo.

He had no way of knowing, but the feeling that Enji’s praise gave you was like a shot of adrenaline to you. Warmth bloomed in your cheeks, and you quickly began stuttering and trying to downplay your contribution. However, Enji was having none of it and reached out to grab your anxiously fluttering hands, which had the desired effect of shutting you up.

But, Enji didn’t stop there. He was tired of you not giving yourself enough credit. More than that, he was tired of only being able to show his gratitude in words. So, he took advantage of your size difference and tugged you into his arms and then settled you on his right thigh, forcing you to straddle the muscular appendage.

“E-Endeavor-san?!” you squeaked out. Your tiny hands were encased in his much larger ones and even that small bit of skin to skin contact was enough to set a fire low in your belly.

“Please, call me Enji. It seems a bit formal considering the things I want to do to you.”

“And what exactly do you want to do to me, Enji?” Your voice was low and breathless, but he could see the excitement clearly in your deep brown eyes.

He released your hands and let his own wander down the curve of your sides to settle on your hips. Still maintaining eye contact with you, he engulfed the soft flesh there with a gentle, but firm squeeze. You gasped softly and instinctually ground down against the flexing muscles of his thigh.

Enji growled lowly in his throat and took one hand off your hip, and reached up to bury it in the soft curls that framed your gorgeous face. At first, he gently massaged the scalp with his fingertips, but when he felt you relax, Enji used the curls at your nape to tug your head back.

He loved how small you were in his arms, how easily he towered over you and controlled your movements. And there you were, gasping and squirming in his lap, letting him touch you in such a dominating way. It stoked a fire within him that he hadn’t felt in a long while, urging him to make you fall apart under his touch.

“There are so many things that I want to do to this tight, little body,” Enji whispered against your throat. He placed a heated kiss there, followed by a gentle nip before continuing, “But, for now, I want you to ride my thigh.”

To his delight, you didn’t hesitate to start meekly rolling your hips forward, your skirt bunching up around your waist with the motions. Still, you seemed to be holding yourself back, and he was having none of that. Using the hand that was still gripping your hip, Enji forced you to press down harder and move faster. Getting the message, you braced your palms against his broad, solid chest and began grinding against him in earnest.

The filthy moans you let spill from your plump lips were music to Enji’s ears, and he struggled to refrain from just ripping your stockings off and sliding your down onto his aching dick. There would be plenty of time for that later, but in that moment, he wanted to make you felt just how appreciated you were.

“Come on, little sparrow, I know you’re close. I can feel you soaking my pants leg.”

The desperation and desire in his voice drove your lust even higher. That, combined with the friction of your nylon stockings against your bare pussy, had you teetering on the edge of release.

“Please, sir!” You didn’t know what you were asking for, but he seemed to. And he was going to make you beg for it.

“Please what?”

“I...I want you to fuck me, sir! Please let me cum on your dick,” you pleaded with a breathless whine, never ceasing your wanton grinding.

“Oh, you will be cumming on my dick. But, first, you’re going to make yourself nice and sloppy for me.”

Enji gripped your hair tighter and pulled your head back until your spine arched. Now, your nails were digging into the skin of his pectorals, but he didn’t care because the end result was you humping against him with reckless abandon. No longer needing to guide your movements, he reached up and wrapped his other hand around your delicate throat, squeezing just enough to make the blood rush to your head. That was just enough to tip you right over the edge.

“Oh, oh!” Your hips began to stutter slightly in their movements as your orgasm crept up on you. A scream that surprised you, but made Enji growl in triumph, was ripped from your throat as you bucked wildly through the peak of your release. Letting go of your tresses and throat, Enji pulled you gently into his chest and ran his hands soothingly down your back. As your body trembled and quaked through the vestiges of your orgasm, he murmured soft praises into the crown of your hair.

“You did such a good job for me, baby girl. I’m so proud of you and all your hard work. Are you ready for your reward now?”

Despite the fact that you had just cum your brains out, his words of praise had you moaning wantonly, your head bobbing lazily in consent. Enji wasted no time in standing you up between his legs, supporting your weight effortlessly as he slid his hands up your inner thighs towards the crotch of your stockings. A brief, but loud ripping sound echoed in the spacious office, and then you felt a cool breeze against your soaked lips. Enji took a moment to run a thick finger through your dainty folds, making you shudder and moan.

Enji considered having you ride him again, but a glance at the large sectional he had in the corner of the room gave him other ideas. Picking you up as if you weighed nothing, he carried you to the luxurious piece of furniture and laid you down on your back. He immediately covered your body with his own and locked his lips with yours, the kiss quickly turning heated. While your lips moved together with unrestrained passion, he busied himself with undoing his belt and slacks. Once he got them undone, he freed his aching length from the confines of his underwear, hissing at the sensation of the cool air hitting the too hot skin.

Pulling away from your soft warmth, Enji made you look him in the eye before he asked, “It seems a bit late to ask, but are you sure this is what you want?”

Thinking he was just being considerate, you smiled softly up at him and nodded in affirmation. He kissed you hard, one more time, before looking down to guide his more than impressive dick to your dripping entrance. As soon as he pressed the head in, you knew what he was really asking you before, which was whether you could handle being stretched to your absolute limit.

You threw your head back, pressing into the soft cushion underneath you, and struggled to breathe around the sensation of his girth splitting you open. It was a good thing he made sure you were wet enough beforehand, otherwise, you were sure that you wouldn’t have been able to take all of him.

Enji made sure to take his time pressing in and withdrawing, inch by inch, enraptured by the sight of your pretty pussy stretching around him. It was a couple minutes more before he was fully seated inside you, the head of his dick pressed snugly against your cervix. He paused his movements to press sweet, but rough kisses along your jaw and collarbones. You reached up and buried your fingers in his hair, applying the barest pressure to bring his face closer to yours so you could press your foreheads together.

“I’d really like for you to move now,” you panted softly. Sure, it was quite the stretch having him inside you, but it didn’t hurt and you were still filled with a burning desire to be wrecked by the giant hovering over you.

Withdrawing slowly, so slowly, Enji paused again to watch your face as he gave a quick, experimental thrust. The cry of pleasure you let out snapped his resolve to continue taking it slow, and he began to fuck into you with a vigor. All you could do is tighten your grip on his red locks and hold on for the ride.

“God, you feel so good wrapped around me. Do you have any idea how long I have wanted this? How many times I’ve fantasized about fucking into you like this, making you my little cumdump?”

Enji was actually caught off guard with how visceral your reaction was to his dirty talk. He didn’t think it possible, but you became even tighter around his dick, nails biting into his scalp, as well. You began trying to thrust back up against him, but he was having none of that. Enji pulled back just enough to take your legs and throw them over his shoulders so he could put you in a mating press.

“Oh gods, yes, just like this, Daddy!” you wailed loudly, tears gathering in the corners of your eyes. You were overwhelmed with the pleasure from his rigid member rubbing against your velvet walls with the new angle.

A groan that sounded like a snarl rumbled in Enji’s chest at the sound of your fucked out voice calling him ‘Daddy’. It made him want to grind his dick deeper into you, until all you could see, feel, or taste was him and the pleasure he was giving to you.

“Fuck, if you call me that again, I’m going to fucking cum and I’m not going to pull out.” He expected you to object, or something but instead, you attempted to pull him in closer with the strength of your legs alone.

“Please, please, please fill me up, Daddy! I want it all, please, give it to me!”

Pace quickening at your filthy words, Enji leaned forward until you were practically pressed in half and his thrusts had the tip of his dick bumping your womb with every plunge deeper. You were unable to even scream, the air knocked from your lungs and your brain foggy with thought-warping ecstasy.

“Goddammit, you’re gonna make me cum, baby. I’m gonna fill you up to the brim. Gonna make you round with my child. Is that what you want?”

All you could do was nod frantically, incoherent pleas and his name spilling from your drooling mouth in an endless stream. You would do anything, say anything, just to feel his hot cum paint your walls.

From the way you were clenching and pulsing around him, Enji knew that you were close to the precipice again already, and he was ready to tumble over right along with you. Letting go of the last bit of restraint holding him back, Enji captured your lips in a searing kiss and swallowed your cries of passion as he began to piston into your tight heat, chasing his orgasm and hurtling you towards yours.

A shrill scream muffled by his lips and the sharp tightening of your walls around him signaled to Enji that you were cumming, and he quickly followed after you. His powerful hips stuttered once, twice before he drove his entire length fully inside you and stilled, his head pressed to the opening of your womb. Much hotter than you were expecting it to be, spurts of cum that seemed endless gushed deep inside you, prolonging both of your orgasms to the point of over-sensitivity.

When you both finally came down and got your breathing under control, Enji slowly pulled out from you and gently eased your legs off his shoulders. He gathered you up in an embrace and flipped the two of you over so that you were laid on top of him, head resting against his chest. Again, he stroked your back and sides soothingly, murmuring words of praise and comfort.

For your part, you were fucking wiped, your heart still racing and brown skin dewed with sweat. You could feel cum leaking out of your abused hole, but could hardly be bothered to care with exhaustion and satiation weighing so heavily on your eyes.

With strong arms wrapped around you and every bone in your body feeling like marshmallow, you snuggled closer to Enji and fell asleep to the steady pulse of his heart in your ear.

[schrijverr]

Going Under

When Harvey notices that Mike isn’t living better than before, even if he’s paid much more right now, he knows something is off. It all comes to a head on a Friday when he finds Mike surrounded by bills. And while he will deny (though perhaps not under oath) that he cares, he is there for Mike.

On AO3.

Ships: none

Warnings: money problems

~~~~~~~~~

Harvey knows how much they’re paying Mike. Hell, he gave him the signing bonus, wrote the check himself. What he doesn’t know is why his associate still lives in his crappy apartment, why he bikes to work, why he looks physically pained when Rachel asks him to lunch, no matter how much he wants to or why he insists on wearing those cheap suits.

And if there is one thing Harvey hates almost as much as loosing, it’s not knowing.

Still, as a lawyer he knows that the direct route is not always the best route and he doesn’t think he can justify grilling Mike about his spending habits. In the end, he is just curious, not like he worries about the kid. Not that he wonders if he’s still in trouble with some bad people, whom he owes.

God, Donna will be laughing at him when she finds out. Because with her it’s always when not if and she won’t listen to his bullshit.

Luckily, he is a the best lawyer there is and he can spin worrying about Mike – which he does not – into trying to make sure he is covering his own ass. Since their mutually shared destruction hinges on no one else finding out and pulling them both under. Which someone Mike owes might be able to do.

So, before he has to listen to Donna telling him he cares and that he’s getting soft, he can subtly bring it up. Because yeah, it’s a valid concern, but he isn’t going to tip his hand by revealing to Mike that he has noticed his spending habits. That would make it seem like he cares, which he doesn’t and he doesn’t want to make that false impression.

Which is when Harvey starts commenting on Mike’s cheap suits. Mike takes it at first, but after getting more comfortable working alongside Harvey, he just rolls his eyes one day and snorts: “Oh, I’m sorry, Mr. Big Lawyer Man, I didn’t know my suit, offended you so much. I’d say bring it up to the fashion police, maybe you can make a law suit out of it.”

Then Harvey takes it even further by even dropping off a case file at Mike’s apartment himself, just to wonder out loud how Mike lives like this.

“Well, luckily for you, you don’t have to live here, I do, your Majesty,” is Mike’s response to that, along with: “And it’s not crappy, it’s vintage. Just like you and your vinyls collection.”

He even talks to him about pit stains and helmet hair when the kid checks the lock on his bike. And to that Mile says: “First off, I don’t have pit stains, I check. And second off, if I get into an accident and my head is spread out over the highway, because I wasn’t wearing a helmet, I’m holding you responsible. So, you’re lucky that I will continue to wear a helmet, because you wouldn’t want that on your conscious. You could say I’m doing you a favor by it.”

“Just style you hair in the morning, Mike,” Harvey replies.

“Give me access to your secret gel stash you have in you desk and I might.”

“I don’t have a gel stash in my desk,” Harvey informs him with a sigh.

“Really?” Mike almost seems genuine, except for the shit eating grin tugging on the corners of his mouth. They truly have to work on his poker face more. “I thought you must have it with your slick hair. Thought it would be right next to your manicure set and your shoe polish.”

“You done?” Harvey levels him with a stare and Mike backs off. “That’s what I thought,” Harvey says, before moving on to the brief, handing Mike a big stack of paperwork, he knows will be done by the end of the day, even if it’s two days work with overtime.

It is at that point that Donna has caught on enough to comment, buzzing her intercom just to say: “Did I just hear the great Harvey Specter worry about his associate?”

“You heard him worry about his own image and that of the firm,” Harvey replies, making a valiant effort to sound like he means it.

But by the way Donna chuckles, “Whatever you say, boss,” it isn’t very effective.

Still, despite his false claims that he doesn’t care, his claims that he can read people are still true and he was right about something being off about Mike and his spending habits. So when he finds his associate surrounded by official looking documents at 10 on a Friday in the library after they’ve wrapped up for the week and have nothing until Monday, he knows something is off.

For a moment he considers not burning his fingers on this, everyone – and by everyone he means Donna – is already on his case for caring, stopping to ask what’s wrong and helping his obviously swamped associate wouldn't help his case.

However, the curiosity has been eating at him for weeks and there is no one around to find out anyway. So, he plops onto the seat next to Mike and asks: “Are you purposefully drowning yourself in work or did you piss Louis off?”

If the amount of work has Harvey worried, the way Mike startles and attempts to cover the documents he’s pouring over worries him even more.

Harvey frowns and tries to see what Mike’s working on, the frown deepening when he finds it’s unpaid bills for electricity and water. It’s Mike’s address, not a case.

“It’s not what it looks like,” Mike squeaks, trying to defend himself when it becomes clear to him that Harvey has seen what he is working on. “I was just trying to cross reference if there is a renter’s law that will help me keep my hot water. Can’t come into work looking like a slob, right?” that last part is an attempted joke in order to placate Harvey and it’s not working.

“What the hell, Mike?” he exclaims. “Where is all your money going? I told you to quit smoking, didn’t I? Can’t even listen to that?”

“I’m not smoking!” Mike shoots back angrily, before sagging. “I just need to pay a lot. It’s New York, you should know. Shit’s expensive.”

“How much debt do you even have?” Harvey asks. “Because I know what I’m paying you and I also know how I lived off that salary. And let me tell you, I had running water. So I’m giving you another chance to fucking explain yourself, Mike.”

“It’s Grammy,” Mike whispers pitifully and Harvey lets out a shocked yet relieved yet concerned: “What?” which he will deny later.

“It’s just-” Mike sighs as he cuts himself off, then groans: “I’m never getting old, it’s fucking expensive to be it. I’m never putting anyone I care about through this and I’m never taking this many pills.”

This time Harvey chokes and is glad he doesn’t have Mike’s memory, because he would like to forget that his associate ever told him he doesn’t want to get old. He is now past pretending (at least to himself) that he doesn’t care and that comment pushed him over.

Mike obviously interprets it completely wrong and quickly goes: “I didn’t mean- I’m sorry, I know I should be thankful she’s still here and I am, I didn’t mean to complain. It’s- I’m worried about her. I didn’t even know she was taking all of this until it wasn’t covered anymore. God, I would have known if I went to visit her. I’m a terrible grandson.”

“No, you’re not,” Harvey assures him before he can think about it.

“Thanks,” Mike says without sarcasm while he also gives him a look like he still doesn’t believe a word he’s saying.

Harvey knows that if he says something right now, he’ll never be able to deny that he cares. He also knows that if he doesn’t say anything, Mike will take that and run with it and Harvey has seen first hand how he can twist things in his mind. So, he sighs: “You’re not a bad grandson, Mike. You’ve been working your ass of to assure she’s fine.”

“But she isn’t fine.” Much to Harvey’s horror tears are starting to pool in Mike’s eyes as he slumps over his bills again. “I can find jack shit in here and she’s loosing it because I’m never around anymore. I used to visit twice a week, now I’m there once a month if I’m lucky.”

“Mike…” Harvey starts, unsure how to end the sentence, especially when the tears actually start to fall.

Fortunately for him, he doesn’t have to think of a way to end that sentence, because Mike is full of words that come spilling out alongside his tears. “She threw a fit today, demanding that- that they give her her grandson back. She was convinced that m- my parents just- just had their accident. She thought CPS had- that they had taken me. The- The nursing home called and I was too busy with briefs to even answer. And now- now I’m here. Trying to find something instead of facing her, because I’m a coward and a terrible grandson, who can’t even pay for her new treatment.”

He quickly looses steam through his rant and at the end he’s just softly crying, tears leaking over the bills in front of them.

However that also means the ball is now in Harvey’s court and he has no idea how to react to this. He isn’t good with emotions on the best day and a crying associate is definitely above his level. He scratches the back of his head, then pats Mike’s back as he asks: “Why didn’t you tell me you still had money problems?”

It is not the right thing to say.

While Mike had been crying before, now the silent tears and hitched breaths when he speaks turn into soft sobs and the tears come even faster.

Immediately Harvey panics and he wonders if it’s acceptable to walk off call Donna and leave her to deal with this. However, one look at Mike and he knows he can’t leave the kid alone right now, not even to call Donna.

So, his entire reputation and all the respect he’s earned from Mike goes down the drain as he slings an arm around him, trying to think of Markus, because with him it’s easier to care. Though he finds it isn’t really necessary to pretend Mike is someone else and isn’t that another revelation.

Despite his own fears and emotional turmoil about it, Mike doesn’t magically stop his crying to make a snappy comment about Harvey caring. Instead, he turns to Harvey and practically collapses against his chest, the crying intensifying.

Harvey is 99% sure he has fucked up when Mike starts crying more, but he doesn’t know what else to do. So he just awkwardly pats Mike’s back some more as he tries not to let his heart break under the obviously exhausted and emotionally drained sobs that Mike can’t hold back anymore.

After a few minutes, Mike regains himself enough to sit up, wiping away tears to reveal red-rimmed and dead eyes. He takes a few breaths, blushing as he sees the wet stain on Harvey’s ridiculously expensive suit. He nods at it and says: “I can’t pay you back.”

“You don’t have to,” Harvey assures him. He might be known for being a dick, but he’s surrounded by the proof that Mike is neck deep in red and he isn’t about to tell him that he has to give him a few thousand dollars for a suit that will probably get over it in the dry cleaning.

“No, I can’t ever pay you back,” Mike repeats, looking at him intently. “You’ve done so much for me and I know you think me a loud mouth and annoying associate, but this? All of this? I couldn’t have had this before and now I do. How on earth could I ever tell you I was still struggling?”

“Like that?” Harvey says, unable to stop the comment after Mike’s honest appreciation made him squirm slightly. “Preferably before it got this bad.”

“I’m sorry,” Mike says miserably.

“No- Fuck. I’m not good at this,” Harvey sighs. He rubs his forehead as he thinks, glad Mike is just nervously biting his lip as he shuts up. Deep down, he knows he wouldn't have reacted well to the news Mike was still struggling if he hadn’t stumbled upon it like this. He knows how there was a small part of him that saw Mike struggling and thought he wasn’t completely clean again. Hell, he reacted badly just moments before. So, with all of that thrown out of the window, he has to re-calibrate slightly.

“Okay,” Harvey says after a moment of consideration. “Here’s what’s going to happen. You are going to do all the calculations and tell me how much you need to get solid right now and how much you need to earn in a month to stay that way. I’m going to figure out how we’re going to do that and I’m doing that as your lawyer and your boss.” And your friend, he doesn’t add. “And we’re going to see you grandmother right now.”

“I- I can’t let you do that,” Mike protests immediately. “I already owe you too much, I can’t pay you back.”

“Tough luck,” Harvey tell him, finding it easier to be an asshole about it. “Because I’m sure we can get some of that medicine covered through Pearson Hardman’s insurance and with your salary and work ethic we can figure something out about overtime compensation. You won’t owe me more and you’re not going under, I promise.”

“Oh thank god,” Mike sighs. “I didn’t think solicitation would look good on my record and I was honestly starting to think about it.”

Harvey isn’t sure if Mike is joking about it and doesn’t want to think about the implication that it might have happened before. So, he pushes it into a box never to be touched again and rolls his eyes: “You’re not good looking enough to be Julia Roberts, now get yourself together, we wouldn't want the nursing staff to think I’m checking you in.”

“You’re a dick,” Mike informs him, but there’s a small smile tugging at his lips as he gathers his stuff and his posture seems a bit more relaxed.

As they walk out of the building, Mike suddenly asks: “It’s past visiting hours, they won’t let us in.”

“They’ll make an exception for me,” Harvey tells him with a smirk and after a disbelieving look, he adds: “Everyone makes an exception for me.”

“You’re not as charming as you think.”

“Tell that to all my closings. And sticking your tongue out isn’t mature, Mike.”