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#except like my graduation day
frogcoded · 3 months
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I think if you’re on ig you should have at least one good picture that a hypothetical person who’s into you can send to their friends to prove they do not have bad taste. Just saying. Hypothetically.
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merakiui · 11 months
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azul has that single dad on vacation vibe nailed to a T in that new card and i’m going insane. i will be his wifey so he never again has to be a single dad on vacation
He's literally this:
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But it's okay because he makes it look so good. orz I will also be his wifey so that when he has his next vacation trip he won't be alone. <3 anything to make dilf Azul happy hehe!!! >:3c
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disgustinggf · 1 year
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i wrote 6 pages of my bachelors thesis in one sitting damn girl ur brain does work sometimes
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definitelynotnia · 3 months
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im sorry i have to rant im so fucking pissed
my exams end on 19th and I have to get rid of some books and buy some books which are quite pricy online so I had planned on going to college street on 20th and selling my books and buying the new ones at a cheap price and i was frankly really excited about it because all I get is a one day break to relax bcz i have to start studying for entrances from 21st so all I have is 20th and i wanted to spend it at college street and then get some food and basically have like a solo date kind of thing.
and i was so so excited about it i told my boyfriend about it like 500 times bcz i kept forgetting i've already mentioned it and it was literally on my mind a lott so i kept bringing it up and ik it seems like not a big deal cz i can just sit at home and chill too but i literally do not get to go outside my house. like- the last time i went out was new years eve and after that the only time i've gone out is to school or to give my boards that is it. my mother has some weird like problem wiht me going out like even if i tell her that i just want to go to our terrace for 5 minutes just to get some fresh air she won't even allow that she'll be all suspicious and like sTaNd In ThE bAlCOnY aNd TaKe FrEsH aIr like she herself doesnt leave the house (and blames it on me and my brother ???? when have we ever stopped you bro, she said I HaVe To Be HeRe To KeEp An EyE like im 18 i dont need to be watched 24/7 stop blaming me for choices you put upon yourself) and i just feel so suffocated ALL THE TIME i feel so overstimulated and im so sick of rotting on my bed and i dont want to wait for some birthday party or friends meet up to be able to leave my goddamn house i just wanted to go and have a fun day and get me some books thats it.
anyway so initially the plan was that my mom would go along but something came up so she wanted to postpone it to 21st and i didn't want to bcz i'd already be missing 3 days bcz of my boyfriends birthday, holi and my brothers birthday (all of which are important and i dont want to miss which makes me the villain apparently bcz i should "adjust" and cancel my "parties" instead of trying to stick to my plan bcz that makes me too demanding and selfish apparently) so i suggested that ukw why dont u go do ur thing which came up and i'll go to college street by myself...which is when the solo date idea came which i had really wanted all along but didnt bring up bcz i knew she'd say no but now there's a valid reason for me to go alone so like, its a pretty easy fix i can just go alone but noooo. First of all,
I've been to college street multiple times before so its not like its an unknown area to me
im going by metro which is quite safe
im going when there is stark daylight and i will return home much much before it gets dark and im literally 18
she never lets me go anywhere alone, not even take ubers alone if i want to get back from somewhere my bf has to come drop me everytime and then go backwards to his house which is so so so stupid and i never get to go out alone unless accompanied by family or by a male friend, so obv when i said i'll go to college street alone she refused to let that happen and started screaming about how 'if its so important to go on 20th bcz u dont want to miss a day of studying then cancel ur 'parties' and study then' and i was like no its not about missing a day its just that there's a very easy and logical fix to this problem which is i go alone and its not inconveniencing anyone so why cant i just do that but she will not listen to that bcz im 'adamant' and 'everything has to be according to me' bcz i found a viable solution to the problem. so instead of letting me just go she was literally ready to pay much more money and buy the books online, like.....why cant i just go bro??? (and she keeps telling me im a waste of her money bcz i will amount to nothing in life and my education was a failed investment or wtv so like now why are u wasting more money??? im literally trying to save the money that u 'waste' on me so just let me ???)
anyway i called my dad last night and told him and he was super ok with the idea he said its a good idea that i go alone and that he would speak to her but then today when i asked her if dad spoke to her she said yes, we'll go on 20th and i was like .....we? so apparently she CANCELLED her previously immovable thing for which she wanted me to cancel my 'parties', she cancelled that and agreed to go with me on 20th just so that i dont get to go alone- like ???????????????? what is ur problemmmm
so obv i was super annoyed and i went on a whole ass rant about how i literally struggle to even cross roads bcz i dont know shit about basic travelling bcz all my life ive been in a car and its a running joke with all my guy friends that i 'cannot navigate' and 'dont know any places' and obv??? if im never allowed to go anywhere then how tf will i know the places- the only places i know is bcz recently i've been paying a lot of attention and asking my dad stuff about what roads to take to reach certain places and when i go out with my friends i kind of try and learn a bit but thats it i've only ever gone alone completely alone to two places which is my beauty parlour thats 5 minutes away from my house and one bazaar one time that was 2 bus stops away, thats it. thats my extent of public travelling alone. and now im supposed to go to a whole new STATE for college and i cant even call myself an auto without struggling. and like- is this not a basic life skill??? like ok yeah its not rocket science and i will probably figure it out even if i start later in life but why not now? most of my guy friends literally go everywhere alone, why not me? and my dad agreed with all of this but my mom was just like "you'll be in the hostel only, no need to go out of the campus" like ARE YOU FOR REAL????????? and she's like "if u want to learn skills learn how to cook" like ok yes i will also learn how to cook for sure but i wont have a fucking kitchen in the hostel but somehow cooking is an urgent skill i should learn but going places by myself is unimportant bcz i should just never? leave? the? hostel?
anyway after much screaming and shouting my dad gave up and just cut the call bcz he doesnt want to get into an argument with my mother and my mother was being all suspicious like why do u hAvE tO gO aLoNe AlL oF a SuDdEn even though i literally explained why i want to do this alone but she doesnt think thats valid. so she refuses to let me go and i asked her for one reason why i shouldnt cz usuallt its always "no u have exam what if smthn happens" but now i literally dont even have exam so whats ur excuse now? streets will always be unsafe forever so "what if smthn happens" is not a reason to never let me go out without a man so just gimme one reason and she couldnt give me a single reason she just said "i said no, thats it".
and now she's gone off about how im useless and blah blah and "high maintainance" bcz i want books and "everyone else (some pishi's son) just studies online" and so the whole option of college street is apparently now cancelled and she's trying to set up a whole ass kindle account (half the books i need arent even available as ebooks) just because i wanted to go by myself.
#in our house kids dont stay outside past 6:30pm'' but now all of a sudden its fine for my brother to play#till 10:30 at night#she literally stopped me permanently from going down in the evenings since i was in class 7-8#this is why ive never had any friends outside of school bcz she wouldnt let me leave ths fucking house#and now that my brother is in class 7#he's allowed to be out playing with his friends till 10 freaking 30#he comes home an hour late sometimes...45 minutes and almost always at least 30 minutes late at NIGHT and she says nothing except like#one sentence#yeah im only the villain i only keep u locke#up in the house its all my fault#this is just so damn unfair#like literally insulting#im not a child what is her problem#what sort of fucking solution is 'never leave the hostel' like ok even if i do that what happens then??? after i graduate?#i'll be a 24 year old who doesnt know shit about going from one place to another without a man present]#and then this woman preaches how she 'always raises her son and daughter equally' like srsly shut the fuck up#my whole life i've been told abar late?''#and for me bcz i would come home 5-10 minutes late nd i did it maybe once or twice she made me completely stop going down to play#5-10 minutes late from 6:30 wherein he comes an hour late from 9 fucking 30#and this sounds so stupid bcz im an 18 year old now and i dont give a fuck abt how long i got to play but its just unfair dude#with me it was always smthn or the other either exams or she gets miraculously sick every time i want to go out to play#im not even kidding she did a whole “i have fever and ur going to leave me like this and go play?” on me one time bcz i was adamant abt goi#after months of not being able to go bcz of exam or smthn or the other#she did not have any fever it was fucking bullshit#and how am i supposed to help with ur imaginary fever anyway im literally 12#its so fucking annoying man and then if i say anything at all she'll go on a tirade about how#like YOU DO THOUGH??????? im sorry ur feelings are hurt bcz i said you do smthn that u LITERALLY DO#istg not even 2 days ago she was having a fight with my dad abt how he should teach my brother to learn how to cycle so that he can go buy#groceries#i can cycle
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flewtothewinds · 2 months
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today is my last day of highschool. i think im going to throw up
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meatsouuuuup · 5 months
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it is yearning for tap hours
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one thing abt being disabled/chronically ill that some people don’t get is that sometimes body maintenance that ensures you have the absolute minimum amount of function can also be something that takes away a lot of control and autonomy. you can argue till the cows come home that making those decisions to try and help yourself (or realistically to try to make sure things aren’t worse than they already are) is something that exhibits control and autonomy and stuff, but they can be so limiting in practice because they’re things that take up so much time but have to be done to do anything else
#i have to sleep a lot. i’m at the point where functioning requires 8 hours of sleep if not more#I should probably be getting 10+ but i’m a student and i work so 8 is the minimum. but then also getting ready for bed is a whole process s#the whole thing can take 10-12 hours depending how much im sleeping. just to make sure i can do anything#that is time in my day i cannot use for anything else. it’s not ‘oh but i can push through it’ because i can’t without spending the next da#lightheaded and nauseous and vaguely dizzy and with such intense brain fog I can’t think with my fatigue so bad i genuinely don’t know how#get myself to work a lot of days. my abled peers don’t have to deal with this at all. they have unlimited study time if they want to#and yeah it is a choice i’m making that’s true i could just not do. except i would lose my job and fail out of college because i would not#be able to get to classes or do my homework or think. but being told ‘but you are making choices about your life’ when i have lost so much#of what i used to be able to do because i am spiralling down and continuing to get worse is so.#literally last year i would wake up at 6:30 and then go to school till 3 and then go to my internship until 10 and get home at 11 and be in#bed anywhere from midnight to two in the morning and then wake up the next day and do it all again. i graduated with a 3.9 gpa and made it#into my top college while dealing with my cancer symptoms and then the two surgeries about it#but now i lose half my day to just making sure i can get out of bed. i can’t go anywhere because my body is physically too exhausted#any extra time goes into doing homework or occasionally time to myself#not decimating my health by doing minimum body care responsibilities isn’t freeing. occasionally i have a good day which is freeing but tha#usually goes into just. other things outside class or work or eating. I don’t go do something for myself or go do something fun on good day#because I still can’t. good days just mean i don’t want to lie down on the pavement when i’m going somewhere#I just. I don’t magically have control over my life because i try to get enough sleep. i lose half my day to doing that and ultimately it’s#just a bodily function that would have to happen anyway#this is a vent post im just having a really hard time right now because it feels like im in exponential decline. it was nowhere near this#bad last semester. my grades are tanking and i have no free time because anything outside of sleep is either work or school#vent tw#yall can rb this just ignore my tags completely#disability#chronically ill#i keep trying to explain to people how pots works because that’s all logical but there’s no way to explain what it’s doing to my body or ho#i feel all the time. the last time i felt this bad was when i had a bad flu or immediately after surgeries because i don’t react well to#anesthesia and always come out of them feeling like shit. and now i just feel like this all the time and it’s only getting worse#I can’t even stay up late anymore because my body feels like it isn’t counting the sleep even if I get 8 hours#I can deal if I have a free day the day after but that just leaves Friday and Saturday nights and I usually still have to do homework
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itstimeforstarwars · 3 months
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The struggle about posting stories that I KNOW are going to be zero-note wonders is that I have to finish them before I post them. I have to rely on myself to enjoy them enough to finish them, both because I will not be getting feedback from readers saying 'wow I'm so excited about this!!' but also my brain will interpret a lack of positive attention as people hating it instead of as a reasonable lack of interest due to writing about unpopular characters or writing in a dead fandom. This is one of the fun tricks you learn when you've been writing for over a decade.
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elvenking42 · 6 months
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#when i was in high school i played a party game with some of my classmates at a get-together where you had to rank people on questions#yearbook style awards really. whos the most handsome. who's the most annoying etc etc#i flew under everyone's radar except for the question who do you think will die a widow#i dont know. i think about that alot. because i was still so unsure of myself and my relationship to gender and sexuality#it sort of felt like everyone in the room pointed a finger at me and labled me UNLOVABLE#and sure. the events of a house party in 2017 shouldn't still effect my day to day life but its sort of hard to ignore that feeling#it wasn't an especially kind thing to leave me with when i graduated and went off to college#i never tried dating in college. i think that unlovable label sort of hung over my head for my entire formal education#i had friends who did date during college. with varying degrees of success. and im really happy for them#but i couldn't bring myself to try and put myself out there. i didnt feel like i was a suitable enough person to even attempt it#idk. then covid hit and i jjst dont enjoy meeting new people#and now im 24. my little sister has more dating experience under her belt and I'm really starting to love up to that dying as a widow omen#whatever. i dont wanna be annoying and sad on everyones feeds I know thats bad manners#but i dont talk about it and ive been thinking about it alot#ill delete this later or something. if i remember to#personal
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maddy-ferguson · 8 months
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i was so ahead of the curve the curve became a sphere is literally me i skipped a grade and now my friends from high school are done with school and are getting their first jobs and stuff and i'm in school with people who were born two years after me. like i lost three full years lmaooo
#but i'm not that mad or sad about it because i don't mind not working like AT A JOB i'm even considering going into academia which would#mean even more years but like we'll see because i will have spent EIGHT YEARS in university when i'm done since it's five years to like. do#anything actually do something. only three more years to go yay#year 1: depressed year 2: not as depressed but i failed the classes i needed to pass to do the thing i wanted to be doing so i was kinda#stuck but i didn't know what else i wanted to study so i was like. i'll just do this get through my three years and then i'll do something#i like better. because i could have theoretically. except. i did not love it and i wasn't particularly good at it. also was still depressed#for like the entire first semester and my first year i passed for like my first semester so during my second year i had classes for year 2#during one semester classes for year 1 during another semester. it's actually easy but i don't know if that'll make sense the way i wrote#it. year 3 was 2020-2021 so covid and like i was saying the other day i was NOT working like i was kind of for the first semester but. oh#my god. my favorite class i learned like 60 pages like what we had to learn was 60 pages long and then you had to do like an essay or#whatever idk. no it wasn't even an essay but i czn't explain. i got like. a 3.5. OUT OF 20#so i was like yeah i'm not doing this anymore this is obviously not working for me so for the rest of the year (oh yeah we had class online#fully from november to well april when it ends) i was like. rewatching grey's anatomy and whatnot. that's when i rewatched grey's. also ahs#my not working semester in 2021 is also when i watched dawson's creek! because that's when they put it on netflix.#fun fact#good times honestly? but yeah#also i think about some of the things i learned a lot like it's very good to know i'm glad that i know it#i Am bitter but it's for other reasons#and like i say: brf slt#rory dropping out of yale is kinda so me if i had ever dropped out😁 which is why her graduating on time is very annoying and boring. her#ass should not have graduated on time...
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jinniebit · 2 years
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hogwartseighthyear · 1 year
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oh yeah i graduated college on monday so now i’m working on fics again :)
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pointlessfrog · 1 year
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of all things Im thinking about how my graduation party is gonna be messyy
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chqnified · 2 years
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Lmaooo watching other cheer teams have beef on tiktok and twitter with the team i was in is lowkey hilarious. I'm entertained. And also glad I'm out, because I'd be scared to wear that uniform and be jumped on by the 20 teams that have beef.
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moonjade · 2 years
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How the fuck do I act in an interview lmfao 🥴
#text#personal#i have to start applying to jobs soon 😭#and my mom suggested a hostess job since our acquaintance works there but i would rather Die than work a public-facing job again#like you don’t understand. I DO NOT WANT TO WORK. i have never had a dream job except for being an author but i don’t have the energy#or creativity for that anymore#but yeah i have to find a ~real job~ since i’ve graduated college and i have ‘skills’ (not actually though)#but anyways if i even make it to an interview round after applying how the actual fuck do i act#I’ve never had a ‘real’ interview bc I’ve only ever worked in fast food#am i supposed to kiss their ass? am i supposed to be honest? how honest? how much do i lie? do i even lie?#how do i explain the 8 month ‘gap’ in my resume lmfao. bc I can’t just say that I was moving for eight fucking months#ugh I really want to die like I would rather die than have to work 40-50 hours per week every week#like that sounds like absolute torture and i never lasted more than 2 months at my old jobs bc it got too overwhelming and hard to handle#i think there might be genuinely something wrong/off with me but idk what LMAO#i don’t think I can get disqualified from working or whatever bc I can technically work but I’ll burn through all of my energy#and literally be extremely depressed and miserable and have no time to do anything other than sleep and eat#i don’t even remember what I wrote at this point and I don’t care#the main point is that I hate working more than anything. i hate burning through all of my energy and having none left#I’m tired as fuck just writing this shit out. how the fuck am i supposed to get a real job and work it every day for the rest of my life#like there is NOTHING I enjoy laboring for. i wish I got paid to stream video games or post videos for a living but I’m not funny enough#or creative enough for that to work. plus idk how to stream or edit. and I know I’d get cancelled lmfao since my social skills are so poor#and I’d say something wrong. not even anything remotely bad but just word something wrong or use the ‘wrong’ word#ugh anyways. idk if I should tell my doctor all of this or if she’d even care (probably not)
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vamptastic · 2 years
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time to make some online purchases and not be nervous about it at all not even a little bit
#im very financially responsible except with giving others money#like every time i see a homeless person i give them at least $10 and my parents r always mad about it#and every time i go out w my friends i pay for everything#which isn't bad per se but like#i need to save about $10k for medical transition and i would like to have#a safety net of more savings in case things go south with my parents before i can graduate college n get my own income#also now that i have my own money i need to learn to spend it when i need to buy smth#i have a budget of saving 90% spending 10% for my summer job#but 10% is like $300!! thats $300 that could go towards top surgery...#idk. i just wish these savings were for like.. a fun trip or a car or just a rainy day#instead i need to save every cent i make for the next four years just to have what cis people r born with#sucks. -_-.#the aversion to spending money is mostly just cos#we're middle upper class ish now but both my parents grew up real poor#like no ac in the florida summer get a job at 14 if u want food on the table poor. everything but homeless p much#tho my dad was homeless in college for a bit#so. they're very frugal even tho we make a lot of money#just gotta get the cheapest of everything no frivolous spending go to 6 grocery stores for the best deals n haggle with me over jeans#not necessarily a bad thing tho id argue why make that much money if u don't ever wanna spend it#cos its not going towards a mansion or new cars n shit we have like. a normal house n very old car#it's all just retirement savingd#savings.#which is all well n good but like#dont u wanna live a bit happier before age 65 too? i mean r u gonna wait your whole life to use that money on ur happiness?#idk. anyway.#my money is going towards Not Killing Myself From Dysphoria rn. so.#but i wish i could stop begrudging myself for buying stuff even when its well within my budget#literally beating myself up for buying a fucking belt rn
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