#expat feelings

[darcyolsson]

watching emily in paris and there's this weird phenomenon happening to camille which i see in shows all the time these days which is technically not queerbaiting but something vaguely reminiscent of it. camille is a very important, three-dimensional character, but then when she finally gets to have a relationship with a woman (which was hinted at/joked about in earlier seasons), it's not nearly as fleshed out as the straight relationships around her. and it's not necessarily about her being queer because there's many important queer characters in the show and it's not really about it being two female characters either because at there are so many female friendships which are genuine and important, including the one between the main character and camille, which could be argued centers a man but in the end still is a real friendship which is significant to the show. so while there get to be fleshed-out queer characters who have fleshed-out relationships with people of the same gender, the second those relationships become romantic they become undeserving of the same treatment. what is that called

[creed-of-cats]

im saying this as a queer poc in the USA, if you support palestine and are talking about moving to a third world country to avoid trump, you're being a hypocrite and need to examine why colonizing populations participated in and justified settler colonialism in the first place

[tbh-entp]

I'm starting to realize that my Ne-Fe loop turns on when I'm too social. I start going out, get a little addicted to being charming and how people respond, and then I forget myself and my Ti, and drain myself on saying the right (or hilariously wrong) things at the right moments, and I'm so aware of how people respond to me but idk how I'm responding to myself or how I even relate to what I'm saying-- only that it's clever and well timed and wow I feel terrible. I need to go home and find my Ti.

[datamodel-of-disaster]

One of the things that never fails to baffle me is how many people genuinely don’t care about the space they live in.

People who paint their own house landlord white all over in preparation for when they might want to sell -even if they have no such intention in the near-ish future.

People who move to a foreign country as an expat and then live in a quasi-empty flat until they leave again (years later!), because they imagine it would be a hassle to move if they own stuff.

People who go to IKEA when they get a place of their own, fill their apartment with all the typical utilitarian stopgap stuff, and somehow never acquire “nicer” or more personally curated items down the line no matter how financially comfortable they get.

…

Idk.

I just… don’t understand it.

It’s not about money. Like, I have seen literal homeless encampments, squat houses and cardboard box shelters, that looked like the person who used them cared about the space.

It’s not about minimalism. Minimalism is a stylistic choice. Owning only a desk, a desk chair and a bed and using the cardboard boxes those came in as a kitchen table is NOT a stylistic choice.

I don’t know, and it makes me weirdly uncomfortable? There’s plenty of forms of design and decor that do nothing for me (or that I think are hideous), and those are still different to this strange absence of care for one’s space.

[greppelheks]

Lots of ads being written/spoken in English instead of our native language, menus being in English instead of our native language, not being able to speak our own language in a lot of stores and restaurants, or in my own apartment building. That shit doesn't sit right with me.

[silverfox66]

Sometimes wish that Dutch leftists could stop taking over USA views, standpoints, and problems 1:1.

[hotmess-exe]

my natural instinct is to speak Spanish to Africans and I always lean towards Spanish pronunciations when trying an African name I am unfamiliar with. I really hope that I someday actually meet someone from my country this way lol

[jackredfieldwasmyjacob]

i hate tiktok

[sashasemin28]

okay to be clear before i go on a truly insane rant in the this post about fucking politics and being an expat because i am thinking about it and as my therapist says, fixating on literally any minor stressors to avoid dealing with yet another major trauma that happened to me, having a broad overview of the world and how it works and also like, most country's in the world politics and actively engaging in ways to be like and i know this is kind of a cliche thing to say a global citizen and offer allyship to people in different countries?? really fucking important! i really believe in that! kind of very different from what i mean here which is mostly about specific bills and policy and shit and history and social trends. also for most people this will literally never be relevant. this is the disclaimer so i can sleep tonight.

the third secret option for not caring about another country's politics that I get to explain because this is my tumblr blog is that i've found unless you live there or care for someone in that country actively caring and investing yourself in another country's politics is a great way to really fuck with yourself and sense of self imo. it really fucks with you in a way i find hard to succinctly describe but it's like.

it's like okay. it's really fucking weird to be in a foreign country where you are noticeably not from that country because you can tell people treat you differently sometimes worse sometimes better and it fucks with your brain when it's shit like finding a gym let alone when you're trying to navigate something controversial like fucking politics. in my experience where ive mostly lived in china specifically you talk about politics it gets awkward because no one actually wants your opinion and actively kind of distrusts - which isn't the right word but it's the closest one i have right now - you for having one which often leads to some nightmare social situations.

there's some more shit that goes in it for me but seriously on god it's really not worthy to be actively investing yourself in idk how the US government specifically restricts the rights of people who live in DC kind of because of racism but mostly because it's convenient. there is no reason why someone who's from idk fucking johannesburg should invest time and energy into caring about the ways DC is oppressed as a city. seriously why would you do that if you have no stakes. more importantly it's not worth to talk about the opinions you have if idk continuing this example youre an expat from johannesburg living in dc because you will probably piss someone off at some point. maybe to you there's an ethical or moral or some kind of emotionally benefit but again imo it does not outweight the inherent pressure and very emotionally complicated dynamic of being specifically invested and talking about it.

i'm self aware enough to know this would probably be different for me if i hadn't lived some specific experiences. and if the country i have / had the most interest first hand experience in was china. but thing stands its really not worth it seriously in my opinion.

[boththemanandthecold]

I'm literally moving to another continent. This is so fucking weird.

[heavenknowsffs]

Where do y'all get your remote jobs with a 1000€ / month plus benefits pay because let me tell you something

[handweavers]

the dichotomy between the "immigrant" (someone from the global south who moves to the north) and the "expat" (someone from the global north who moves to the south) makes me feel fucking crazy. a white person who moves to asia is an expat but an asian who moves to the west is an immigrant. & how those terms are politicized and assigned class statuses, like the word "immigrant" tends to imply a blue collar worker (even if that isn't the case) while "expat" implies a white collar worker. the associations with "expat neighbourhoods" in asian countries is very very different from those of "immigrant neighbourhoods" in western nations. also how "immigrants" who dont assimilate are seen as "failing" and bad, lower class, a burden on society, etc. whereas "expats" not assimilating into local culture is expected and viewed as a sign of their higher status. the double standards are so insane

[canadiangold]

"man i hate how big n fat i look in these photos from my vacation"

The annoying optimist who lives in my brain: ":)"

"don't"

"so you have mass and take up space...?"

"don't you fucking say it"

[ellcrys]

watched the first episode of 'expats.' it was. interesting. a lot more somber and depressing than i was expecting. i can't place nicole kidman's accent in this show tho and it's driving me nuts.

[steveneveral]

Return to Paju City... (27 December 2023)

If you told me way back in 2016 that I would still be in Korea in 2023 going into 2024 I probably wouldn't have believed you.

While I've enjoyed my time here in Korea, it certainly has had its ups and downs. I've had friendships that have come and gone, as well as a few relationships that have done the same thing.

The main reason I like coming back here to Paju City is it's a reminder of how far I've come since 2016 and 2017.

I was basically a nobody when I moved back here in 2016. Yes, I still had some friends here from when I was originally here in 2010-2011, but there were also a whole bunch of new friends that I would make in my second time here, many of whom I'm still friends with to this day.

While some of them have moved back to their home country or elsewhere in Asia, we still like to keep track of each other in one form or another.

One thing I have to keep reminding myself is that true friends, if they're worth anything, will stick around in your life. If they think you're worth anything, they will keep you in their life.

I know this deep down, but I have to keep reminding myself that yes, I am worthy of their friendship and time.

As I'm writing this, I'm sitting in a coffee shop in Paju City that I used to frequent when I lived here back in the day.

Returning here to visit helps me put into perspective how much I've changed when I originally lived here. The last time I visited this place was back in 2019, right before COVID. From the last time I visited here, it has been double the time that I originally lived here.

While a global pandemic did interfere with that time, it also helped put into perspective the events and actions that happened to me between the last time I was here in November 2019 and now.

I won't write at length about those things since I already have in the past. But those events did help me to put into perspective the types of people that I have allowed to enter my life.

I won't say that I've regretted meeting some of those people, because there's a lesson in even the bad people that you meet. Instead of telling myself "Why did I fall for that person?", I'm telling myself, "Now I know better."

Sometimes life's most important lessons can also sting like hell, but you do have to go through them, one way or another.

I don't really know what 2024 has in store for me, but if it has been anything like the past few years, it will definitely have its share of ups and downs.

Keep going, dude. You're doing great.

[riverpiracy]

american expat on youtube: and something really amazing about moving here is just the safety. i NEVER feel the need to scan my surroundings for road agents and gunmen, or sharpen my keys into cruel blades like i did back in dayton, ohio