I want to find just one person who self ships with Gregory House and fully acknowledges how awful of a partner he would be and then fully embraces it. That would be so fucking funny. If you’re masc, house would call you slurs if you tried to hold his hand in public and he’d pretend to not know you. If you’re one of his uhhh group? His clump? The Foreman clump? Then he’d be even harsher on you. You don’t get special treatment, now go to the patients house and grab a few mice and slices of moldy bread with your bare hands while you’re there. He’d compare you to sex workers and tell you you need to ask them for lessons sucking dick. God forbid you ever talk to Cuddy, he’d call you a traitor and pull an elaborate series of pranks to keep you away from her. He’s still kissing Wilson in the background by the way.
It seems, oddly enough, that Gregory House lives to annoy you. He takes 'arseholish boss' to the next level.
Wake up in the morning, ready to have breakfast, and drive to the hospital where you both work?
Nope, you're getting a text that says you're late to his impromptu 4:30 AM meeting where he's had the 'breakthrough of the century' on the team's latest case.
Get your hair cut and walk into work, for once feeling confident?
Nope, he's saying that he would have done a better job blinded, hands tied and going through Vicodin withdrawals.
Finally, 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺, prove him wrong and attempt to wipe the cockiness off his face?
Nope, you're simply slow because you didn't get to your diagnosis quicker and weak-willed because you didn't fight him for it in the beginning.
Everything House does infuriates you, and it seems everything you do infuriates him.
No wonder you end up pinned to the wall of your apartment and groping him like your life depends on. And knowing House, it very may well.
Warnings: Adult language, mature themes, eventual smut, female protagnist, no reference of y/n
Rating: 18+ MDNI
Current Status: Ongoing
Series Page on AO3
Completed Parts:
Part I: The interview
Part 2: The Proof is in the Pudding. Or the Banana Bread
Part 3: Is he hot, or are you just lonely?
Part 4: Wet Dreams and Taxi Rides
Part 5: Bargains and Balls
Part 6: Chocolate Eyes and Decking Bosses
Part 7: Fever Dreams and Baths
Part 8: Bad Lungs and Choking
Part 9: Losing a Hundred Dollars
Part 10: Should you suck him or rub him?
Part 11: Teasing and tit jobs
Part 12: Hidden Fucks and Hidden Girlfriends
Upcoming Parts: Hopefully end of may? :3 but im just a girl so
Hi Gregory! What's it like hanging out with Bree? Have you been able to go to any cool places outside the Pizzaplex? (Dragonsmooch)
"... She did kind of help save my life and all that. Bree talks a lot about the animatronics and her job but I don't mind it, I think it's cool how much she knows and she listens to me."
"She is a little bit over protective though. Says I shouldn't go out too much in case it's dangerous, it is silly but— but i don't mind it... it's not that annoying."
"We did go out recently! On her day off she took me to the bowling alley. I had never been bowling before and it was really fun! I am wayyy better than Bree, I won all the rounds."