#f: verse detail ; wizarding world

[runesandramblings]

"To The Ends of The Earth"

Word Count: TBD / ongoing

Content Warnings: none, follows the events from The Hobbit so there will be the expected violence from the movies

Pairings: KilixOC

Themes: crossover Marvel x Tolkien, romance, fanfic, canon-ish events

Summary:

In the wake of The Blip, the multi-verse has expanded knowledge of the universe in ways no one thought possible. For the first time, journeying between realms and realities is a tangible possibility.

Ex-SHIELD agent and Avenger, Lilith Lenore, is hiding from her past, shunning the life she once led. But when an offer from a wizard of another world is extended, she cannot refuse.

Chapter 3: Into The Woods

I awoke the next morning to sunlight beaming into my eyes through the window I'd yet to buy curtains for. I sat up slowly and rubbed my eyes, still feeling as though the evening before had been a dream. I looked around my room slowly, taking in the almost empty space. It would likely be a while before I saw it again. Well, technically it would only be a day or so in this timeline. According to Gandalf, time moves differently between realms. It would feel like several months to me in his world; in this world, I would only be gone for a couple of days. 

I continued to replay the conversation from the night before as I allowed the sleep to slowly fade. Gandalf had said he didn't intend to overwhelm me, as the full explanation was a bit much. The details, he'd said, would come as things moved along.

I threw my feet over the edge of the mattress and stood up, crossing the room to the lone dresser on the opposite side of the room. I rummaged through the drawers for a moment before settling on a plain gray t-shirt and a pair of jeans. Gandalf had assured me I'd be outfitted in more appropriate clothes for our journey once I arrived in his realm. Still, I couldn't show up in nothing.

I picked up a small backpack from the floor and paused, contemplating what, if anything, I should take. I'd been told I could bring a few small personal items from home. Evidently where I was heading, our modern technology didn't exist. My phone and any electronic devices would be rendered useless from the moment I arrived. I didn't really have any personal, sentimental belongings I felt necessary to bring. I mused over practicalities for a few moments before stepping into my small bathroom and packing my hairbrush, toothbrush, and a few other hygiene necessities. I wasn't entirely sure what I was heading into, and being able to keep some small form of a routine would be nice. I doubled back into my bedroom and slid open the top dresser drawer. I'd considered bringing the hidden gun from the living room, but given what Gandalf had told me about his realm and technology I was fairly certain firearms were a no go. I pulled the blade I always kept hidden on me from its hiding spot, tucked behind crumpled t-shirts, and tossed it into the bag. 

I checked the time on my phone one last time before sticking it in the drawer, in the same hiding spot I usually kept the knife. It was five till 9; almost time to meet Nick. Despite my insistence that he could stay -after all, he'd already gone to the trouble of breaking into my apartment- he'd informed me he'd already made arrangements for the evening prior to his arrival. 

I double checked the doors to the balcony before slipping quietly out of the apartment, locking the front door behind me as I did so. I would only be gone for a few days, so I hoped no one would come snooping around my vacant apartment in that short amount of time. I slid the note I had written to Mrs. Figueroa under her door as I passed her unit. She was a bit of a talker sometimes, so I was hoping to save myself the trouble by leaving a note in place of an actual conversation. 

Mrs. F,

Got a call from back home, family emergency. Had to leave in the middle of the night. Should be back in a few days. Didn't want you to worry. 

Samantha 

I skipped down the staircase and rounded the corner into the lobby to find Nick already standing there already, arms crossed. 

"About time you showed up." He started, gesturing to the watch on his wrist. "It's 9:01." 

I grimaced as he held the door open for me, nodding for me to step outside before him. 

"Nice to see you too." 

**

"We're lost, aren't we?" 

I glanced around us at the unfamiliar surroundings. I'd been following Nick through the woods for well over an hour. Gandalf had given us specific instructions on where to meet him, which was approximately three miles into the forest on the outskirts of town. Somewhere inconspicuous, as I could imagine whatever means he had to transport us into his realm wouldn't be the most discreet. 

"We aren't lost." Nick muttered, turning the scrap of paper over in his hands. He studied it carefully in silence for a few moments, his forehead furrowing in frustration. Gandalf had given him a scrawled out, hand drawn map. It looked pretty straightforward; that is, until Nick had taken over navigating. 

"Why do I have a feeling GPS won't be available where I'm going." I joked, looking up into the trees that surrounded us. 

It was peaceful. A welcome reprieve from city life. I'd been toying with the idea of moving again before Nick had shown up. I was growing tired of the city, of the constant noise and commotion. The forest was still and, most importantly, quiet. 

I closed my eyes for a moment, listening to the sounds of small creatures skittering across the treetops above me. There was a light breeze I could hear rustling the leaves. I inhaled deeply, willing myself to relax as I listened to the sounds of the forest. I was more nervous than I cared to admit. Despite the fact that I'd been through hell and back on Earth, there was something about leaving my world entirely that was more frightening than anything I'd been through before. More than Thanos, even. I felt my heart begin to pound as I reopened my eyes. So much for relaxation.

"Do you want me to take a look?" I asked, gesturing to the map in an attempt to distract myself from the nervous pit bubbling in my stomach. 

"Nope, I see. Here we are." Nick said quickly, gesturing to a section of the scribbled map and directions. "This is where we are now, which means-"

"Which means, Master Fury, that you should have been here half an hour ago." 

We both whirled around to find Gandalf approaching from the direction we had just come. I would have sworn on my life he had appeared out of thin air. And, well, given that he was a wizard he just might have. 

He looked more like a wizard now than he had in my apartment the night before. His gray suit had been replaced with a long, flowing gray robe. His hair had been loosened from its band and now flowed freely, and somewhat wildly, around his shoulders. He carried a staff in his right hand, and wore a pointed, also gray, hat on top of his head. 

"I was beginning to think you weren't coming." He said, smiling coyly at Nick and I. 

Nick glanced, somewhat ashamed, down at the paper map in his hands. I felt a smirk tug at the corners of my lips. I wasn't used to seeing Nick flustered. 

"I, uh-" he started. "Sorry." 

Gandalf shook his head, waving his hand dismissively. 

"No apologies needed, I'm sure my directions were not the most convenient for you." He gave Nick a kind look as he turned to face me. "I don't mean to cut this short, but we are a bit behind schedule. Are you ready?"

I nodded, gesturing to the backpack slung over my shoulder. 

"I packed light."

Gandalf nodded in return, gesturing for me to step closer. He extended his arm out to the side, indicating I was meant to stand beneath it.

"Very well then. Let's be on our way." 

I moved to stand underneath his outstretched arm, hesitating for a moment. Despite the past twelve hours, it was beginning to feel real. I was really going on this journey, whatever that meant. I truly had no idea where I was going, or what lay ahead. I looked back at Nick for reassurance as he nodded wordlessly in approval. I nodded back and stepped fully into the wizard's side.

Gandalf rested his arm on my shoulders and pulled his other arm, the one with the staff, in front of us. 

"Hold on tightly now. You may want to shut your eyes." 

**

There was a flash of blinding white light, so bright I could feel my eyes burn despite keeping them shut tight. It was followed by a sense of weightlessness, and for a moment I lost the feeling of Gandalf's arm around me. It lasted for what felt like an eternity and no time at all. I squeezed my fists tightly, grasping his robes. Was it possible to be lost between realms? I didn't want to find out.

"Lilith? You can let go now."

I felt myself slowly unclench my fists, my fingers sore from how tight my hold on the wizard was.  I was afraid to open my eyes. The momentary weightlessness had left me feeling disoriented, and I was certain I'd fall over if I opened them. Or throw up.

I slowly opened one eye, allowing myself to feel grounded on the earth beneath me before I slowly allowed the other one to open. I let go of Gandalf and stepped back. 

We were in the middle of another forest; upon first glance it was not too different from the one we'd just left. If I didn't know any better I wouldn't have guessed we'd left my world at all. Despite the familiarity there was also something different about it, something I couldn't put a finger on. But the longer I looked around, the more I realized it was like nothing I'd ever seen before.

It was...breathtaking. 

It contained all the familiarity of home. The trees looked the same. The sky was still blue, the grass still green. Despite the similarities, I felt as if I were experiencing shades of those same colors I had never seen before. The grass was impossibly green, a deep and rich shade that didn't feel real. The blades were thick and soft underfoot and as it stretched around me as far as I could see, it didn't appear to have a single blade out of place. Throughout forest floor there were clumps of vibrant red and white spotted mushrooms, and clusters of purple and yellow wildflowers. Even in the most beautiful forest I'd been in back home, it was never so beautiful and picturesque. The blue sky peeking out from between the treetops was dotted with fluffy, perfect white clouds. I would have believed I was staring right up into a painting if someone had told me so. 

And the smell. I inhaled deeply, breathing in as a passing breeze tickled my nose. It was so fresh and clear, I could almost describe it as sweet. I hadn't ever considered how polluted the air on Earth was, but as I breathed in deeply over and over I felt as if I were properly taking a breath for the first time. It felt clean, and as I took another deep breath in it felt as if I couldn't fill my lungs enough.

As I looked down at the ground around me a second time, I noticed my clothes were different than the ones I had left home in. At some point in the move between realms they'd been transformed into something that, I guessed, was more appropriate for this world. 

Instead of my old, worn in sneakers I was wearing knee-high, lace up black boots. They appeared to be made of some kind of leather, though I couldn't be certain. My jeans had been replaced by fitted, black trousers. The top I now wore was also black and had sleeves and a hood; it came down slightly below where a shirt would normally lay. I supposed it was more of a tunic than a blouse. Both the trousers and tunic were an unusual material, and my best assumption was that it was a sort of wool, or maybe an unfamiliar fabric from this realm. Around my waist was wrapped a fitted, black leather belt. It was thick, and laced up in the front; more of a short corset than a belt. My backpack had also been transformed into a black and brown leather satchel that was slung across my body and rested at my side. 

"I hope you find the clothes appropriate." Gandalf started. "I took the liberty of asking Master Nick what your usual wardrobe was and made some adjustments." 

I nodded wordlessly, still feeling myself lost in a stunned silence. I couldn't seem to find words to speak; it was more overwhelming than I thought it would be.

Gandalf smiled knowingly, seeming to understand my awe and disorientation. 

"I hope you also find the choice of weapons appropriate. I was told you're quite deadly with a blade." 

I immediately moved my hand to my side and felt the hilt of some weapon, and feeling further down it was housed in a leather sheath. I looked down to find a sword strapped to my side. Looking on my other hip I found two smaller blades concealed in smaller sheaths on my thigh. I followed the trail of a leather strap wrapped around my torso and chest, reaching around to feel what was strapped onto my back; it felt like a bow. I hadn't used one with the Avengers, but Clint had given me lessons and I'd picked up on it pretty quickly. I hope it was the same as riding a bike, and the knowledge would come back to me with a little practice. 

"Thank you." I started, finally finding my voice. "But I've never used a sword before." 

Gandalf chuckled. 

"With your skill I'm sure you'll make quick work of learning. Our traveling companions are warriors, I'm sure they wouldn't mind teaching you. You'll also find a few more blades in your pouch, should you need them." 

I nodded absentmindedly as I toyed with the hilt of the sword. I was curious about these traveling companions he kept telling me about. From the little bits I had gathered in my apartment the previous night I would be the only human on this journey, aside from Gandalf. He hadn't been entirely clear yet on what that meant. 

"Where are we?" I finally asked. 

"About an hour's journey from The Shire." he said simply, as if I knew exactly where he was speaking of. 

I stared at him for a moment, wondering if I had heard him correctly. 

"The Shire?" I questioned. 

Gandalf nodded. "Yes. We are looking for a hobbit by the name of-"

"A hobbit?" I interrupted. 

Gandalf paused, seeing my confusion. He seemed to realize I was still missing several important details of our quest. 

"Mm yes. I see. Well, we have a long walk ahead of us, my dear." He gestured for me to follow him as he began to walk. "Let me start from the beginning."

[adamwatchesmovies]

The Dragon Spell (2016)

I see low-budget animated films make the same mistakes made over and over again. I don’t understand why. I’m not saying the people behind The Dragon Spell aren’t talented but they had to know they didn’t have Toy Story 4 money, so why do they and their kin try to reach for the stars when they could so easily go for the cookie jar on the counter instead? Clumsily written, ugly and stiff, I wonder who could sit through this movie and honestly say they had a great time.

Years ago, a ferocious dragon terrorized the world until a tanner named Ciryll (Mike Pollock) defeated it. Now, the dragon’s spirit lingers in the body of the sorceress Siringa (Melissa Schoenberg), waiting for the day when it can re-claim its true form and resume its reign of terror. Meanwhile, Cyrill's son, Nicky (voiced by Kate Bristol) is determined to live up to his father's glory. When he and a magical talking bat named Eddie "The Magnificent" (Allen Enlow) accidentally travel through a portal to another realm, they embark on an adventure to return home.

Trying to scratch together a synopsis for this film must have scraped at least a couple of months off of my lifetime. I feel like I’d need to go on and on to properly explain what this movie is about to make you understand why the writing is so bad. The film begins with a promising flashback showing us the tanner defeating the dragon. It’s all done via stylized, 2-D animation and looks great. Cut to the main story. You assume the dragon was killed thousands of years ago, that what we just saw was one of the cornerstones of the vast library of myths and legends this world has to offer, but no. What we just saw happened less than a decade ago. The tanner? He’s still alive. The dragon’s skin? It’s just up in the rafters of his home. When the camera shows it for the first time, Nicky wows. What? Why? Has he never seen it before? It’s been in his house since he was born, hasn’t it? The wizard, Adler (William Tost), knows the dragon’s spirit is after the skin but he hasn’t gotten the monster slayer to destroy it for…. reasons. Keep in mind, this is the first few minutes. This gives you a hint of the sort of penmanship we’re dealing with.

While the textures, hair, etc. are detailed and professional, they’re slapped on top of ugly character models. You get strong “Local grocery store chain” vibes from everyone. Objects don’t have weight, the bat’s anatomy is all wrong, and a flying wooden ship sails through the air like its pilot is a pro when they’re actually at its wheel for the first time. The dragon, meanwhile, moves as gracefully as a duck on land. It doesn’t make any sense as a deliberate choice. Even as something incidental, it’ll have you scratching your head. The people at work HAD to know this wasn’t going to work. I don’t mean story-wise, I meant visually, someone had to - at some point - say “Hey, are we sure the art director isn’t perpetually drunk? these designs don’t work together at all.” The worst offender is Rocky (Alyson Leigh Rosenfeld) and her sidekick, a female squirrel so grotesque you swear there’s something wrong with its genes. There’s a twist about Rocky that’s so badly fumbled I had it figured out, then second-guessed myself just before the actual reveal. It’s one of those movies that’s so predictable it circles around again to surprise you, except when we’re talking about the witch, whose ultimate role in this story is so obvious it would’ve earned the writer a big, fat, red ‘F’ from their teacher.

Conceived as a comedic adventure for kids, the only time The Dragon Spell is funny is when you listen to the lyrics of its only song. I don’t know what’s going on there. The words make no sense in any context. Key verses include:

Nothing can go wrong if you know the animation

Life is a movie and you’re the animation

Sometimes life can be like a lead hole

Let your life play out like a movie

Live the life shine it every day

Make your movie with the computer of the day

...

Yeah. You read that correctly.

While these make for some laughs - the equivalent of a delicious cheeseburger in the middle of a barren wasteland - it’s not enough to recommend the film, even as something “So bad it’s good”. Though the screenplay isn't good enough to make me think slam-dunk character designs and movements would've made a difference, that's a big issue with this film - and others like it. The film is too ambitious for its budget and can't compensate with "easier" elements of the filmmaking process. By this, I mean the writing, songwriting, voicework, etc. the kind of things a single, hardworking and dedicated person could polish off on their own. If you can't get the animation down, you have to make up for it in another department.

The Dragon Spell only lasts 85 minutes but it feels like so much more. I can't even say that it's enlightening or educational as a failure. It's just dull and disappointing. “Magical lands have their downsides” indeed. (English Dub, May 27, 2022)

[theeldestsun]

decided that i shouldn’t keep my verse details all locked in my head, but i’m too lazy to properly write all my verses up again. so i’m gonna be writing up tidbits and details of verses in posts like this as i feel them 

wizarding world verse

- doran remembers his time at ho.gwarts fondly, despite not caring much for the british / european magical community. he’s made some good close friends and made some good memories, there despite resenting the narrow-focus of its teaching. 

- he thinks of his mischief with bi.ll wea.sley was definitely worth the detentions and lectures @firstbornweasley​.

- he cannot cast a corporeal patronus (to this day), while his boggart is a dried river bed, that is choked and stinky. the boggart may also show the bodies of his family. a boggart frightened him so much that he was in the school ward for a week.

- he has an affinity towards cute animals, and was once reprimanded in third year for smuggling a hippogriff chick into his dorm. it only took the staff a month to discover this -- when the chick started swung on the tower chandelier so violently that it broke from its chain and fell through the floor. the hippogriff thankfully flapped away-- and was given to ha.grid. 

- he was a prefect and head boy for ra.venclaw. a miracle really after the hippogriff fiasco.

- after graduating from ho.gwarts, he spent his first year in the diplomatic department of the ministry, but found the tea too disgusting to bear -- and the conversation even worse. 

- he has a small shop, where he stores and collects items and artifacts that he puts up for auctions -- and only sells them up front if someone is willing to pay thrice its starting price. he keeps the best ones however for himself. 

- this is also where he studies the artifacts and learns their ancient magic.

- the shop is closed for most of the year as he goes on his magi-archeological adventures.

- he has always been confident with his magical abilities. he also learns spells, even in other magical systems, relatively quickly. 

- his grandmother and mother worry their hearts out (mama especially) whenever he goes off to some god-forsaken hidden city or tomb. they send him messages through a little enchanted diary. the messages get more panicked when he doesn’t reply for more than a day.

- his grandmother however understands his mission and encourages him. secretly very proud of him, even if she berates him whenever he’s at home. 

- he got enchanted by a huldra -- and while he insists the hex is broken -- Mellario still lives with him and they’re in a relationship @musenssang​. /shrug 

- by the time of the golden trio, he’s well into adulthood and is well established as a dealer of ancient and even dark artifacts. 

- he refuses to be involved in the whole war thing against a certain dark lord. he doesn’t have any strong feelings towards magical supremacy despite being pure-blooded himself. but inevitably due to the nature of his work and wares he does get roped into it. @longmayshereign-cersei /coughs

[inkdrinkershadowsinger]

Thoughts/Background on Chamber of Secrets

There simply cannot be neighborhoods like this, where there are miles upon miles of cookie cutter homes that stretch out into the horizon. Does anyone know if this is a real shot? Or did they multiply the houses like they do to extras in a battle scene?

I never noticed that this photo album is this detailed. There is a little J and L on either side of James and Lily’s photo here. Hagrid is an artist.

It’s on every page? Was this supposed to be something that Hagrid found from Godric’s Hollow? How did he get something so specific? Or is that rumor true that Hagrid owled Lily and James friend’s and Remus, who had been left things like this when there was no one else left to claim them, got it off his bookshelf and sent it to his best friends’ son?

I like how Harry’s room progressively becomes more his own. Look at it in this movie, the walls are bare, everything is relatively tame and plain verses in Order of The Phoenix, when Harry’s room has distinctly more decoration.

Those pink candlesticks are ghastly.

Harry, my darling, you have been getting letters it is merely a well meaning house elf who has stopped them. I wonder what everyone else thought about Harry’s silence? Especially Hermione. Did she think for even a moment that Harry and Ron had decided that they didn’t want to be her friend at all? Ron isn’t much of a writer, and Harry wasn’t responding. I don’t want to know what kind of a mind fuck that must have been to 12 year old Hermione who had just got home from “magic school”, and none of her new “friends” were responding to her letters.

We have heard that theory that James is Harry and Sirius is Ron, etc. But Dudley is Petunia. Dudley and Harry were raised in the same house, closer than cousins because of location alone. But whereas Petunia never got over the resentment that she felt towards Harry in book seven Dudley was more concerned for Harry’s well-being when they were leaving for the safe house then I think Petunia ever was if Lily ever mentioned how hard and dangerous things were getting during the First Wizarding World. Dudley received some characterization and growth where Petunia never bothered.

Harry sounds so sarcastic when he says that.

Dang! Every time Harry leaves his room he has to see a pencil drawing of Dudley’s face? The Dursley’s cruelty knows no bounds.

All of this decoration, and the shelf are missing from the first scene with Harry in this movie.

Harry is just like, “Fuck it all.”

But he’s got manners galore.

At this point, Harry has never seen a house elf. He has no idea what a house elf does. He has no idea why one would be in his bedroom. He has no idea that this even is a house elf? Why is he so calm? This could be a blood thirsty toga wearing creature that they only study in seventh year, and yet, Harry is all but like, “Can I take your coat, sir?”

And now he’s crying, (those could have been lethal gas releasing nerve agents), and now he’s hitting himself (gearing up for attack.) Oh, Harry, number one at defense my arse.

And their champagne flutes are pink? You can’t buy taste.

Those people look so offended like, “You have a cat? How common.”

I know that the fanon is that wizarding children all heard bedtime stories about Harry Potter, but Dobby is proof that other beings also heard about Harry’s triumph over the Dark Lord.

Who painted that picture on Harry’s wardrobe? Dean Thomas, fanon artist. Or does Harry Potter have latent creative talent? Or can you buy these out of the Hogwart’s catalog? Lol

Dobby is like, “Oh, shit, I should not have said that.”

This is where Harry’s Gryffindor really shows because he could just lie to Dobby, but he doesn’t. It’s that Gryffindor honesty.

The man is just like, “Oh, look, cake. Neither of them even looks angry.

Vernon bowered Niall Horan’s hat for this scene.

Harry sleeps with the scrapbook right by his bed. Someone shoot me.

I love that to Ron, Fred, and George that this is a completely normal thing for them to be doing. None of them look nervous about flying a car in a Muggle neighborhood. Destruction of property? Who gives a fuck? They are just like, we have to do what we have to do for our bud. Just a regular drive around.

Hedwig is very annoyed at being called a pigeon.

Ron knows to appreciate the simple things. Tell you mate Happy Birthday, no werid shows of masculinity here.

I love the Burrow. I love the position of the Burrow. I love that they are surrounded by land and a little pond. I love that it is secluded, and that it looks pieced together.

The inside of the Burrow is stunning. You have the Farm House sink. The detailed windows. The hardwood surfaces. The eclectic but perfectly fitting furniture. It would be considered chic to many a Muggle. And that DOOR, that opens up, and then also opens out. The extra space above that little cubbie. Fireplace. Hand, or magic, knitted blankets.

There is a wooden orange cat, a la, Crookshanks on the fireplace there.

Ginny is me.

He says, “Morning Weasleys.” Like they are a clan. He could totally use that tone and call them all to action.

I feel like Mrs. Weasley could sound more disappointed here. I feel like she is kind of annoyed, but also kind of interested in their little stunts as well.

The stainglass windows, the open placement for the dishes, like this house is amazing!

“Dumbledore must know that you’re here.” So, the headmaster is the one who can keep track of the placement of certain students and their whereabouts, or is this simply a case where Mrs. Figg informed Dumbledore that Harry had taken off. Can you imagine that letter? Like, “Super sorry, Professor Dumbledore, but it seems as if Number Four Pivet Drive has been attacked by three red haired boys in a flying car. The red haired youngsters seemed to be on quite friendly terms with Mr. Potter however, as they helped them into the flying vehicle. Just thought that I should mention it.

Sincerely,

               Arabella Figg

 So, does Appartition take a lot out of a witch or wizard? Why don’t Mr. and Mrs. Weasley just apparate all the kids to the Diagon Alley? Is there such a thing as flooing by twos or threes? Because that would also be useful. Are there many fireplaces lining Diagon Alley like the tones that are shown in seven part one in the Ministry? Where to they floo into? Just one of the thousands of questions that need answers, Mrs. Rowling.

There is a gilded head of an elephant behind Harry’s head before Harry examines closely a cabinet that seems to follow a very tight skull aesthetic for maximum creep.

On the top shelf, there seems to be a lamp? A magical one?

More skulls. The hand of glory, that is mentioned in the books. And then a vase full of eye balls. This place is a health hazard. I know the wizarding world lacks mental health professionals, but you’re telling me they don’t have health inspectors?

Harry looks like he has been covered in spiderwebs. When was the last time that Floo was used?

Who are these random people just immediately accosting a twelve year old boy?

They pass a book seller. Knowledge is the root of all power.

The sign in front says from top to bottom: Quality. Value. Ease. Style. Then I think, Variety.

Hermione is internally shrugging because of course her ride or die new friend is covered in ash and has broken glasses. Of course, he is.

The girl behind them as they walk away looks back at them like, “Oh, Harry Potter.”

The fashion and lighting in this movie went from drab and seventeen hundreds to really flamboyant and really stylish with bright colors. I love that the dashes of color really followed them into the other films. Even Prisoner of Azkaban with its more muted color scheme is still vibrant.

The front page that reads: Gilderoy Lockhart gives Wizarding Wolrd Hero Hygiene Tips. Ash free for the cameras, always.

They are literally crammed into the bottom floor of this shop, and Draco Malfoy has an excellent view from above?

Ginny’s got some balls. Love her. All the boys are silent, and she just ain’t taking no shit.

Like Lucius, it is not okay to fondle people’s foreheads, you creepy mother f-er.

Hermione is a bad bitch. Like she knows how dangerous magic can be know, and yet, she doesn’t back down from this grown wizard.

They are all dirty. What happened to scourgify? Or were they scouring grate after grate trying to find Harry, and just didn’t have time after the relief of finding him? Literally, no one else is dirty.

Ginny’s trunk has a Hogwart’s emblem. And we all know the Weasley’s use hand me down items. Whose trunk does she have?

Like Ronald, this is not logical. Dang! I know y’all aint in Ravenclaw, but you are twelve years old. This is basic.

“Your hands all sweaty.” This is no time to be a snob, Harry.

So, did the car fail because they hit Hogwart’s wards? That would seem logical for its sudden failure.

It could also be why the Womping Willow attacked the car so viscously. It may have sensed that this car doesn’t belong to the grounds, and thus, could potentially be a threat. So, it tried to dislodge and pulverize the threat.

Pete, you rat bastard.

This car knows its way around Hogwarts? Or did some of the sentient magic that is in Hogwarts take over the car, and that is why it saved Harry and Ron when they were in the forest with the acromantulas.

To make things more environmentally friendly. The Daily Prophet should have a self updating paper, that changes with each news day. People can still buy the others, if they want to keep them for posterity, but I mean, come on, save the planet.

I feel like this is just a flashback for Snape. James getting away with everything and now Harry.

And Ron, is just so used to getting caught out by Mrs. Weasley, that he just instantly thinks that he is going home.

The look on Snape’s face is so sad here. Will no one ever take this man’s side?

I like this overhead view of the greenhouses. I like the idea too, that there are several levels of greenhouses. The ones that we see in this movie are close to the castle and are set for first and second years, but then the Greenhouses that we see in Half Blood Prince are set away a bit from the castle for the upper years. And some are just for Professor Sprout.

There are little dragon statues on top of the greenhouses. That’s a bit ironic.

Do you think that those large pot like things hanging from the ceiling are

Like, how common is getting petrified, that this would be in second year school book. Also, why were they being grown in the first place if there uses were so rare.

Headcanon that Neville truly developed an interest in Herbology when he fainted that year. He went back to see what work he missed, and Professor Sprout was just straight battling some giant carnivorous plant, and just kicking the fertilizer out of it, and Neville helps her. Then she shows him something else, and something else, and talks about all the things that plants can do, and what they are capable of achieving. “But that’s normally a lesson I reserve for the older years.” But Neville doesn’t want to wait, he wants to do it now. He goes back to the common room with several borrowed books from Professor Sprout, and he is never the same again.

We are legit just going to leave a student lying on the ground. Are we? The wizarding world is really survival of the fittest.

There is a studious Ravenclaw behind them there, reading away.

Neville still has flashbacks to be honest.

When the wizarding world doesn’t have cell phones to yell at or embarrass your children with, you hit them with a howler. Respect.

This DADA room is surrounded with pictures of Lockhart. All the frames along the side of the room are pictures of Lockhart. Bless this man.

This painting of Lockhart is painting a picture of Lockhart.

He bought those Cornish Pixies on the Wizarding Web.

Is that a skeleton of a hippogriff handing above them there?

Even the pixies have had it with Lockhart’s shit books.

The painting Lockhart runs out of the way as well.

Hermione is a baddie.

Hogwarts is so beautiful.

Flint, Wood is tired of your shit.

Hermione and Ron smell trouble, and are like, “I’m going to get me some of that.” Because Gryffindors.

Clap back Hermione.

I love that in the book everyone reacts to what Draco calls Hermione. I wish they would have included that a bit more in the movie.

Ron must have learned that from somewhere, but instead of someone helping him, they just laugh.

This interaction here with Hagrid and Hermione always melts my heart. I like to think that Hagrid is one of the reasons that Hermione worked so hard later in life for the protection and promotion of creature rights. Hagrid being a half giant.

Hagrid is number one. Let’s be real.

Where can I get this level of staged photograph when I go to the Wizarding World in May?

Lockhart is like, “Dang, the fame is already getting to this one. What a shame.”

Harry hears someone threatening to murder people, and of course, he runs right to them.

If Tom Riddle had a giant, most likely extremely hard to kill snake, why didn’t he just try to ride it on out of Hogwarts, take over Diagon and flatten everything? Why didn’t he come back for it during the first wizarding world?

Ron is not down with spiders, and neither am I.

Look, this may be a controversial opinion, but I love Mrs. Norris, and I think that her and Filch are cute and are not to be messed with.

Let’s be real, Filch has been hearing for a solid year from Snape about how Harry Potter is such a little shit. That rage has got to come from somewhere.

Ron, Hermione, and Harry thinking that they were just about to sneak off. Dumbledore is like, “Bitch, please.”

Hermione, Harry, and Ron: “Is Snape taking up for us….actu….oh, wait, of course not.”

I feel so bad for Filch here. That cat is probably the only thing in the whole world that he actually loves.

McGonagall has a large number of zoo like cages in her classroom as well. Her classroom is also very symmetrical, from the two blackboards, to the candles in the front of the room.

Draco and Goyle are reluctantly impressed.

That is the beautiful thing about libraries. There is an unlimited amount of information available at any point in time.

I’m glad that there is at least one adult in the common space for the students. Is that supposed to be Madam Pince? Or a helpful teaching assistant? We all know that the teachers at Hogwarts have an intense work load.

Why is there a spider depicted on the woman’s head in this book?

I just imagine that every time that Harry is in the air that Ron and Hermione experience quite a lot of anxiety.

I can just hear Lucius in the stands saying, “We do not show off for such people.” When the snitch is right beside Draco’s head.

I feel that Lucius grew into being a good father when the threat of his family became a reality. I think before he judged Draco by too harsh means because things were always rather simple in his mind. He thought he was the best, and Draco should be too. But he was humbled, and became a better father because of it.

Dobby strictly uses the word, “Enslavement” here. That word makes what Hermione does with Spew seem less radical.

The table is decorated with the phases of the moon.

Snape rises from the crowd like a ghost.

How on Earth did Lockhart get Snape to agree to do this? He had to have accosted him in the staffroom or during a meeting when Snape couldn’t get away.

“Severus, I really think it would be a great idea. We could really give the kids something exciting, riveting, and imaginative.”  It is only when McGonagall tells him that he could probably get Lockhart on his perfectly pictured arse a few times that Snape considers it, and eventually concedes.

The most iconic Drarry line ever. “Scared, Potter?” “You wish.”

Can conjured things kill people? Or are they just charms? Is the pain temporary, or a real solid thing that can seriously damage?

Is this study hall?

Harry Potter has the crappiest luck ever.

Some of the headmasters and headmistresses seem to be still. I like the idea that all of the professors that get promoted to that level get to be immortalized whether they would like to put apart of them inside of a portrait or not.

I really like the idea of Dumbledore as a scholar and an academic, so I really like that they show all of his scrolls and books.

I feel like Fawkes dying and then being rebirthed among the flames is a really poignant thing for Harry to experience at this stage in his life. This image of the phoenix dying, but still having life probably stuck with Harry and it might have been something that he thought about when he was preparing to walk into the forest in book seven.

Hagrid has got Harry’s back, and I love it. He is a really good friend.

This image of the Black Lake frozen over, and the students being pulled across it’s icy surface is stunning.

Hermione was training to join MI6 before she got her Hogwarts letter, and no one can tell me differently.

Are flying treats that common that Crabbe and Goyle are just like, “Dead on.” It must have been a cute thing that there house elves did for them when they were children, levitating treats or toys in the air for them to grab. Or their parents showing them magic and giving them treats at the same time. Otherwise, how would they have ever thought, “You know what? Excellent and safe idea to eat these random treats.”

Harry literally doesn’t know here which one is Crabbe and which one is Goyle.

The Slytherin common room looks way more lush then the Gryffindor common room. I feel like you can see really clearly into the Black Lake there, and since it is frozen over, the light that you see is light blue instead of green. I mean, look at how big there common room is. It looks like they have a designated study area and everything.

Draco, don’t be the stereotype of rich boys who steal. Just don’t.

Myrtle is not to be fucked with, bro.

A young Tom Riddle for sure got this one year for Christmas at Wool’s orphanage before the war started, and things got so tight that they couldn’t even afford three meals a day. Then, like everything in his past, he transferred these basic Muggles things to something more extraordinary, like him.

Tom Riddle in this movie is a hottie. Like, y’all can’t even fight me because there is no denying his killer beauty….get it?

Okay, so are we thinking that during this flashback that Tom’s soul piece is not only aware that Harry is watching a scene from his life, but is also, acting out the part of himself? He is the director and the lead, so to say.

I like this sequence because it shows more insight into who Tom Riddle is, and where the fear of death started to come from. I wish that Rowling would have made this connection more thoroughly for the viewers of the movies. A single mention of there being too many bombs, or a lot of fighting by Tom here when he is talking with Dumbledore would have provided some more insight into this character.

Ginny knows how to do some damage. I think it would have been easier for them to figure out. Girls can get up boy’s dorms, but boys cannot get up to girl’s dorms. It would have had to have been a Gyrffindor. The common room couldn’t have been completely empty. Hermioen could have fact checked this, and figured out who had wrecked their dorm.

Look at those game plans back there. I just envision, Oliver Wood drawing frantically on the blackboard wild circles that simulate flying motions, but he goes too quickly for everyone else to understand what he’s saying, and thus, the only one who knows the plan is Wood, himself.

Did they show Colin’s friends his frozen body? Or Penelope and Justin’s? Not one person in this school thinks of the potentially traumatizing circumstances that they are putting these kids through.

It is popular fanon that McGonagall and Riddle went to school together. From this perspective, it would be doubly as traumatizing for her to hear that the school could be closing again.

Ron is me. I ain’t messing with no mother flipping spiders.

Ron is no help in this scenario. Absolutley none.

Harry replacing Hermoine’s flowers, and thus subtly telling the viewers how much time has elapsed.

Harry is wickedly smart. He is also very logical which I think attributes a lot to that sarcastic personality that he has.

McGonagall has some Slytherin in her for sure. She went from worried to blasting Lockhart in 2.5.

Lockhart packed up really quickly. It was almost like he….. had….experience…leaving…quickly.

I wonder if Lockhart’s victims ever got any retribution after he wound up in St. Mungos. It’s almost certain that his sales went up when he got admitted to the hospital just because of the public’s sheer curiosity and gossip mongering.

Salazar Slytherin was one slick mother f-er. “I’m going to hide my chamber in the bathroom.”

I can just imagine Riddle not having a lot of time in between OWLS and what not, and taking the easy way out and opening the Chamber whenever he could just to chuck down dead rabbits and chickens. Forays into the Forbidden Forest were many for Tom’s minions back then.

Honestly, Lockhart, Harry probably wouldn’t mind if you took a few of his less than pleasurable memories.

Tom Riddle also has that innate need to be polite even though he’s about to stab someone just like Harry does. Or is this a British thing?

I love how the villains in these movies say, “Potter.”

That does not look like the hole that they came down? It looks like Fawkes took them up another exit.

Why is Dumbledore trusting Hagrid’s release papers from the wizarding world’s worst prisons to a twelve year old? To a twelve year old Ron Weasley at that.

It looks like Dumbledore has a crystal ball by his desk. Trying his hand at divination? Or is that how he keeps track of all the students? I need to know what headmaster powers enable him to do all of these things.

Jason Isaacs is super fine. I can even deal with the wig. In fact, the wig makes it better.

It looks like Dumbledore’s office is located outside of the courtyard which makes the scene in Order of the Phoenix when Fred and George are comforting that boy all the more poignant.

[obaewankenope]

An Angel, A Demon, and a Child Saviour go to Hogwarts: Year Two

Part 6 of the Absconding with Harry verse is up! It’s multi-chaptered and centres on Harry’s second year!! It’s the year of the hissy hissy snakey happenings and it’s gonna be F U N!

I’m also putting it here under the cut but you’ll have to scroll for the footnotes rather than click on them I’m afraid; tumblr messes up the click option for them :/

Summer with two immortal beings is, for Harry James Potter, incredibly enjoyable. He learns early on that completing his holiday school work in the first weeks after school ends is the quickest way to get uncle Aziraphale to let him go out and about with his friends. He also learns that putting it off until uncle Aziraphale is a fretful mess over it pleases uncle Crowley to the point of letting him stay over at Ron’s house more than once a month.

“Uncle Aziraphale,” Harry calls, not looking up from his textbook on the floor beneath the skylight in the bookshop. He’s lying on his stomach, a notepad to his right, textbook to his left and a fountain pen poised over the pad. A frown is on Harry’s face as he stares down at the textbook and the frankly stupid potions ingredients he’s meant to be writing a four-foot long essay on the properties of. “Why do all of these names sound so—well—silly? Eye of newt? Why would I want to put the eye of a newt in potion that you’re meant to drink for stomach upset? Seems kind of silly.”

Uncle Aziraphale is sat at his desk, glasses perched on his nose and very intent on the book of prophecies he’s finally managed to obtain from a very reluctant seller. The book is engrossing to the point where he’s let his hot chocolate go cold three times now—not even noticing Harry warming it up with a warming charm—but not so engrossing that he doesn’t register Harry asking him questions.

“Hmm?” Aziraphale blinks and looks up and away from the book of prophecies on his desk, turning a little to look at Harry under the skylight. “What was that Harry?”

“Eye of newt; is that a real potions ingredient? The book talks about grinding it up and making sure you don’t let it get mouldy but, how can you grind up an eye? I suppose they can get mouldy, though, since eyes are made of liquid right?” Harry looks away from his textbook to look at Aziraphale with a confused expression. “I mean, Hermione told me that they are, and if things get damp you can get mould so eyes should be able to mould right? Or cause mould?”

Aziraphale hums thoughtfully, thinking for a moment. “I don’t rightly know, I’m afraid,” he admits after a moment. “About the eyes, that is,” he clarifies at Harry’s disappointed look. “I do know about eye of newt, however. It’s actually mustard seed.”

“Mustard seed?”

Aziraphale nods excitedly. “Oh yes,” he says, shifting more in his chair so he’s fully facing Harry who is paying rapt attention to his uncle. “Some potions ingredients are known by rather misleading names like ‘eye of newt’ and ‘wool of bat’ but are really plants or herbs. Some—naturally—are really what they say they are, like blindworm—although that’s really a type of venomous snake also known as a slowworm—but generally, if the potion says, ‘toe of frog’, ‘wool of bat’, or ‘eye of newt’ it’s just plants.”

Harry nods slowly. “Okay,” he says, “but why are they called those names? They’re really silly.”

“Because those were the names they were given a long time ago—by human standards,” Aziraphale answers, standing up and crossing the bookshop to a specific shelf. He selects three books in particular on the shelf and brings them over to Harry in the middle. “Here, these are historical accounts—quite accurate too might I point out—about witchcraft in the middle ages. There should be chapters that talk about potions ingredients and the origins of some of their names.”

“Awesome!” Harry gladly takes the books, smiling widely. “I’ll write to Hermione and ask her if she’s read them,” he says then, pulling a fresh piece of paper from the notepad and begins doing just that. “If she hasn’t, she’ll love hearing about them!”

Aziraphale smiles softly down at Harry—who is engrossed in his letter writing and thus doesn’t notice—and watches the eleven-year-old-soon-to-be-twelve scribbling away to his friend about books. Crowley, for all that the demon liked to pretend otherwise, found Harry’s love of books and learning about new things to be—well—nice. It was nice to see someone care about knowledge, about asking questions, about understanding things[1].

Several days later, something tries to visit the bookshop but is ejected by the celestial wards Crowley and Aziraphale jointly created. These wards work to deny access to anything or anyone that would potentially cause harm to Harry—although the definition of ‘harm’ is very liberal to the point where a visit from one of Harry’s old primary school teachers intent on making snide comments about Harry’s non-English heritage is forcibly ejected from the bookshop and sent rolling out into the middle of the road, narrowly avoiding being flattened by a double decker bus[2].

Harry’s birthday is an enjoyable affair as Crowley and Aziraphale each get him individual gifts and a combined one that is, to summarise, “absolutely bloody bonkers” according to one Ronald Weasley.

Aziraphale—in true bibliophile fashion—gifts Harry with an exquisite set of books on magical lore from around the world. The books are expertly crafted and—by Aziraphale’s own miracle—adjust themselves to the magical ability of the reader[3]. Crowley’s gift is—in terms of presentation—far more ostentatious and very much Him. The demon snaps his fingers, blanking out all light in the room—since Aziraphale can create light as an angel, Crowley is equally as capable of removing it as a demon—which makes the arrival of a flaming broom—literally—more impressive than it would be otherwise. After the screaming subsides, Harry is absolutely stoked to try the broom out—learning that the flames will deter anyone from trying to tackle him in the air but won’t harm him at all—and it is only because Aziraphale reminds both Crowley and Harry that they don’t have the space—“no, we will not ‘just make the space’ Crowley!”—and that this is a party that Harry doesn’t zoom around the bookshop on it[4].

The last gift from both of Harry’s surrogate parents is given to him after everyone else has left—except Hermione and Ron who are staying the week so the trio can see 3 Ninjas on 7th August—since both angel and demon figure it may cause a ‘bit of a scene’ with the Weasley and Granger parents. After all, it’s not everyday you find out your son or daughter’s friend can talk to snakes including the saw-scaled viper that, as a species, is known as one of the most deadly in the world.

“That thing is poisonous!” Ron exclaims, leaning back as far as he can in his chair when Harry opens the box with the snake inside.

Harry’s face lights up at the sight of the snake—young and barely longer than a pencil[5]--when it hisses at him curiously. Harry hisses back at it automatically at the same moment that Crowley—unable to help himself, being part-serpent himself by nature—hisses soothingly at it.

This—completely reasonably considering Ron’s upbringing—causes the young ginger to leap out of his chair and away from Crowley who has been leaning down over his shoulder to watch Harry’s reaction to the snake. “Merlin’s balls!”

“Merlin didn’t have balls, you humans just rewrote history and made him have a set,” Crowley scoffs.

Ron gapes at him.

Hermione and Aziraphale, as usual, ignore the shenanigans of the Two Gingers in favour of discussing Harry’s gift.

“Aren’t saw-scaled vipers venomous?” Hermione asks suspiciously.

“Very,” Crowley interjects helpfully, smirking a not so nice smirk. It suits him.

“That was partly the reason for choosing an Echis really,” Aziraphale explains when Hermione looks surprised. The little smile on the angel’s face is—for those who don’t know from personal experience—the same smile he has worn when wiping the memories of human mob members trying to intimidate him out of his home for decades now. It is a nice smile but only in that it reaches his eyes, not in any way that makes you feel like the angel isn’t a threat[6].

“Why?” Hermione looks appalled at Aziraphale and the angels smile falls away a little.

“Well—after last year—with—with that shade, we—we had a talk—Crowley and I,” Aziraphale says awkwardly. “Harry was in danger and we almost weren’t quick enough you see—and that—that didn’t quite sit well with us.”

“I’ll say,” Crowley mutters, ruffling Harry’s hair when the now-twelve-year-old looks at him guiltily. “So we thought to do something about it.”

“But a snake?”

Crowley shrugs. “Why not? Harry likes them, I made them, and he can talk to this one—and it’ll keep me up to date on any threats to him we don’t notice,” Crowley says, giving Hermione a look. “Makes perfect sense really.”

“Talk? To snakes? That’s not possible!” Hermione exclaims hotly and Crowley rolls his eyes behind his sunglasses—which he has worn all day that people have been at the bookshop for Harry’s party.

“Yes it is,” Ron says nervously, shooting Crowley awkward glances. “Parseltongue,” he explains, looking at Hermione. “Always been dark wizards who can talk to snakes.”

Crowley looks so offended at Ron’s words that Aziraphale hastily claps his hands together, shooting Harry an apologetic look when it scares the snake that was just about to slither out of the box at last. “Right! Tea anyone?”

The experience of the cinema with his friends is all Harry can talk about for days after. Crowley and Aziraphale endure the chattering with the patience of immortal beings who have listened to a lot worse than a twelve-year-old gushing about a relatively mediocre film[7]. 

He is still going on about it when the letter from Hogwarts detailing second year equipment requirements arrives. Crowley and Aziraphale have already informed Harry and his friends of the texts they'd need for second year—except for Defence—and it's uniform and potions ingredients that Harry needs from Diagon Alley than textbooks[8]. 

The day the trio go to Diagon Alley to collect Harry’s schoolbooks for the coming term is a day they Unanimously Regret. Visiting the ice-cream parlour on the street is enjoyable but it doesn't make up for the sheer chaos that occurs inside Flourish and Blotts when the Weasley family—who Ron has convinced to visit the Alley on the same day as Harry and Hermione—come across the head of the Malfoy household and his son. Especially after Gilderoy Lockhart, the new Defence professor for the coming year, tries to drag Harry into a photoshoot and is instead turned into a mirror by Aziraphale[9]. This sends the entire bookshop into a circus until Aziraphale turns him back and Crowley makes everyone forget about that little miracle. 

"Arthur Weasley," Lucius Malfoy says and it is definitely sneered—Crowley mutters such to Aziraphale while they stand just to the side with Harry and watch—as Malfoy and Weasley heads stare each other down. "The blood traitor." 

It, as to be expected, gets worse from this point. Mister Malfoy is given a verbal slap by Mister Weasley on what it means to be a 'blood traitor' and, as a result, Mister Weasley is insulted by Mister Malfoy commenting on his ability to provide for his family. The fists flying from both men are a bit unexpected considering they're both wizards but Crowley has always commented on the value of a good right hook. 

Rubeus Hagrid attempts to intervene between the two men but it is Crowley who separate them in a very real sense. The demon snaps his fingers and sends both Weasley and Malfoy skidding away from each other. Hagrid's not inconsiderable height and general mass separates the two more permanently when he stands between them and the two wizards hiss out the most polite but not at all meant apologies they can before Mister Malfoy leaves with Draco trailing behind. 

All but Aziraphale miss the fact that Mister Malfoy has been fiddling with the books of one Ginny Weasley. However, as Crowley leaves the bookshop and Harry follows the demon, the angel is distracted from pursuing the matter. This, it seems, is becoming a habit. 

The trio, leaving the Weasleys behind, follow at a vaguely decent distance as the Malfoy males head toward a side alley off Diagon. A sign reads: Knockturn Alley and, from the general state of the brickwork alone, Aziraphale figures the place isn't all that nice. 

"I'll follow them," Crowley declares, turning to Aziraphale. "Can claim it's for evil purposes and that. Meet you at the bookshop in an hour." 

Aziraphale wants to argue—he really does—but Crowley is more likely to fare better than Aziraphale in the not-nice-at-all alley and someone needs to take care of Harry. 

"You best be back for dinner, Crowley," Aziraphale orders and he narrows his eyes when Crowley mockingly places a hand over where his heart should be and swears on it. "Crowley, your heart isn't located there." 

"It's the sentiment," the demon counters before disappearing down Knockturn Alley. Aziraphale and Harry apparate home—though it's not really apparating in Aziraphale's case, simply a close enough mimicry of the act[10]. 

In Knockturn Alley, Crowley miracles it so no one notices him as unusual for the place, although—as a demon—he's very, very usual for Knockturn. The Malfoy's head to a shop with grimy windows and even grimier woodwork surrounding the glass panes. Inside is grimy also but in a more ordered manner suggesting the grime is for the Creepy Aesthetic. 

Crowley is reminded a little too much of hell with the aesthetic and loathes the idea of entering the shop but needs must. He is spying after all and—considering the contents of Borgin and Burkes—Crowley definitely needs to know about this shop. He follows behind Lucius Malfoy as the man moves with purpose to the proprietor of the store—at least, Crowley presumes this guy owns the place, if he doesn’t then he’s probably an escapee from the mad house; wait, humans don’t have ‘mad houses’ anymore do they? An escapee from the hospital then.

“Father, will you buy me this?” Draco Malfoy asks, pointing at an eye on display nearby and Crowley automatically glances at the boy. He’s not a bad student—if a bit pompous—but obviously the kid has a poor roll model in the form of his elitist father. No body’s perfect though—just look at Crowley.

The staring glass eye is, Crowley realises with a jolt, a bastardisation of the all-seeing eye of God. It was created in the middle of the 14th century—another reason Crowley hates that century—by a group of very devout but ultimately stupid humans at the behest of a demon that was actually a Fallen Archangel. It wasn’t Crowley, but he knows who had the eye commissioned by humanity and he also knows they got a right lashing by Satan for losing the thing not long after.

Leaving it in the hands of obviously similar stupid humans to the ones who made it is a Bad Idea and Crowley decides to have a Good Idea. So he snaps his fingers and the glass eye vanishes, immediately replaced with a perfect replica with no power to it at all. The staring glass eye is nestled safely in an inner pocket of his jacket while Borgin—the name of the owner—and Lucius Malfoy talk about items the Malfoy head is selling to avoid a ministry raid.

Very naughty that, Crowley thinks, leaning over Malfoy’s shoulder to read the list on the counter. “Didn’t know you lot used foetuses that way; though English always have been about stealing everyone else’s stuff and claiming it as their own so, really, why am I surprised?”

It is fortunate none of the individuals in the shop can hear Crowley otherwise he’d be both cursed and verbally bitched at for daring to insult England and English tradition yada-yada. The demon has heard the same sort of diatribe from hell for centuries now so, honestly, he could probably change the places and the titles and still have near enough the rant from hell and the wizards be near enough word-for-word the same.

Shaking his head, Crowley moves away from the men, deciding he’s done enough spying for now and focuses his attention on the items in the Borgin’s shop. He notices a Hand of Glory that seems to fascinate Draco Malfoy—until Crowley snaps his fingers again and the boy loses interest; he’ll never know but Crowley thinks the boy has more potential than dark magic and evil and hell. Most of the items that Crowley can see are pretty unassuming—to the point where he wonders if the staring eye is the only thing in the shop that is honestly not meant for human hands until he sees it.

It’s nestled away, in a corner and it shouldn’t—it shouldn’t be there. It shouldn’t be anywhere.

“No,” Crowley breathes. “That—that’s not possible. It can’t be.”

He steps toward the object, eyes wide behind his sunglasses and he absently takes them off to better see. That—that shouldn’t be in human hands. It should be—well—

“You shouldn’t be here,” Crowley whispers, hand reaching out, trembling. “I can’t believe you’re here.” His hand touches the case. “You’re—you’re really here.”

A person can make a split-second decision and change everything. One moment in history, a single point in time, and the action undertaken changes what is to come. From the beginning of time, some actions are impossible to change because they have been Ordained, but others… others are determined by choices made in the moment.

Choices like taking an item that hasn’t been held by its owner in over six thousand years.

Those kinds of choices can change everything really.

.

[1] If there was one thing that Crowley would always support, no matter what, it was the pursuit of knowledge and understanding. In Harry’s case, that meant the demon would procure books that he’d never read in a million years just so Harry could have the opportunity to learn about world war two, ancient Egypt, mythology, Japanese history, the ocean, space, and anything else the child might well find an interest in learning about. Aziraphale once commented about this propensity of Crowley’s only for the demon to pin him to a wall and declare, very, very angrily—oh so angrily because he was a demony demon—that it was all in service of evil and knowledge threw mankind out of Eden so maybe it’d do the same here. Both of them, unanimously agreed that mankind leaving Eden—not actually getting kicked out so much so as politely evicted from the premises—was actually the best thing to happen to humanity.

[2] The wards do, however, also include protections for Crowley and Aziraphale. Neither of them mention these protections for the other since they are done in ‘secret’ but the end result is no one in heaven or hell can actually see inside the bookshop and likely are unable to enter no matter how powerful they are since—combined together—Aziraphale and Crowley turn out to be a mite bit stronger than any Archangel or demon who would think to visit. However, as neither of them realise this, they simply chalk up the lack of visits to the bookshop by their respective offices as a stroke of good luck and continue on with life thinking they’re fooling their head offices. And, as their head offices have no desire to ‘loose face’, neither side actually pushes to try and do anything about these wards and the combined strength of a principality and archangel-turned-demon powering said wards.

[3] The books are, amusingly enough, more comprehensive than the fifth-year textbooks Percy will obtain in Diagon Alley on 19th August. They also—as per Aziraphale’s intentions—limit Harry’s exposure to more advanced and potentially-dangerous magic but don’t impede his progress either.

[4] Aziraphale and Hermione both squeak in horrified unison at the prospect of open flames near so many books—even if they are protected from flame damage after Harry set several on fire while attempting his charms homework—and this, more than anything, dissuades Crowley and Harry from using the broom inside the bookshop. St James’ Park, however, is fair game—Crowley can always freeze everyone so they don’t notice after all.

[5] The average length of which is approximately nineteen centimetres or seven-point-five inches long as both metric and imperial measurement systems are used in the United Kingdom in a mish-mash, hodgepodge collection of both measurement systems. This is because the United Kingdom has never done things the easy way—just look at Brexit.

[6] In truth, it’s the kind of smile a very polite, demure person wears when they’re about to snap and beat you to death with the teaspoon they’re using to stir the tea with.

[7] It is the authors opinion that the first film of the 3 Ninjas franchise isn't the best of them, but that is because they are biased towards roller-coaster.

[8] Not that he wasn't going to buy some books. Aziraphale is always so pleased when Harry buys a book and, since Harry tends to enjoy the books he buys, he has no complaints with pleasing his uncle Zira this way. Crowley is pleased also but hates to admit it verbally—as he has only ever managed a smile when Harry has gushed about a book he’s bought or that Crowley has given him. But knowing that both his uncles are happy about Harry liking books reassures the child that being smart isn’t a bad thing no matter what aunt Petunia, uncle Vernon or Dudley tried to drill into him.

[9] "I thought it rather fitting," Aziraphale says later when Crowley asks him why a mirror. The angel has that look in his eyes that is mirthful but also a little bit mean and Crowley just smiles. 

"That's my angel," he says fondly and Aziraphale's smile turns bashful at the praise. Harry, wisely, makes himself scarce to avoid the inevitable flirting-disguised-as-insults that is about to occur.

[10] Although neither Crowley or Aziraphale do it often, both are capable of spontaneous teleportation of their beings and anything else they so desire to teleport. It is more a matter of choosing not to do it and enjoying the journey time that deters them from teleporting everywhere. Although, at some point in their lives, both are advised against teleportation and, as such, don’t think of it as the first solution to a problem when Crowley’s Bentley is far more comfortable and—although mildly terrifying for Aziraphale considering the speed of it—far more enjoyable as well. Teleportation is instantaneous after all and it is sometimes enjoyable to spend time with someone on a journey to a point rather than immediately arriving at your destination.

[blueroan-equestrian]

Arranged

Chapter 1

Sirius Black x Hufflepuff Reader

Yes, I know Sirius left home at sixteen. In this, he’ll leave a little older.

Word count over 2000

In the Black House

Sirius was home on Christmas break, wishing nothing more than to return to school where he would be with his friends. He sat on his bed till his mother stormed in and demanded he put on his best saying “We’re going out.”

Before he could stop himself he asks “Why? Where are we going?”

His mother smacks him, “We’ve decided that it’s time you met your match?”

“What?”

“Get dressed! We mustn’t keep them waiting so hurry up!”

Sirius and Regulus sat in the back of their parent's car. When Sirius asked Regulus if he had any idea where they were headed Regulus filled him in, “I heard mom tell dad that they found a pureblood family who was willing to marry their daughter to you.”

“What? They can’t force me to marry someone... I just turned seventeen this summer.”

Without flinching their mother turned and said, “Well either you do or Regulus will, You decided.”

Regulus turned white and Sirius stiffened his expression, “No I will... Leave Regulus out of it.”

“Good.”

Meanwhile at (Y/F/N house)

(Y/N)’s parents did not give her any such option as they used the imperious (sp?) curse on her. She was completely out of control as her parents put her in the family wedding dress and walked her down the aisle. Sirius saw the hollowness in her eyes but assumed it was because she was just another ditsy pureblood girl. And the empty kiss was simply because a pureblood girl was fulfilling he pureblood duties. But really it was a spell that was cast the girl into a zombie. It wasn’t until the girl snapped out of it as they sat in the car and her confused look fell on her face did he realize what had happened. She knew what happened but it had all felt like an unreal experience. Sirius demeanor softened towards her, “Y/N, do you know where you are?” She shook her head so he took her hand “We...we just got married... now you’ll stay with me and my ... family till we go to school again...” 

Sirius carried her luggage as he showed her to his room, now their shared room. “I’ll sleep on the floor, you can have the bed. I’ll put your things in the closet.” He said softly.

“I’m sure you don’t bite and I assure you I do not bite. That bed is big enough for a horse.”

“Ok, we’ll share. Now, what shall we have for dinner?”

The girl thought as she plopped down onto the messy bed. She looked at him with her puffy (y/e/c) eyes, “(your fav food) would be nice.”

“I’ll have it sent up.” She gave a half-hearted smile before he slipped out.

She was glad when it came time to go back to school. She missed the warmth of her friends and the Hufflepuff dorms. There she could be herself without shame. Her family when she was placed in Hufflepuff were disappointed she wasn’t put in Slytherin. Despite all that happened over the school break, things had gone back to normal. that is for the most part. 

While she studied in the great hall with her friends an unusual sight came into the study hall. Her friends immediately noticed the handsome dark-haired troublemaker as soon as he stepped foot in the door and as he walked and got closer (y/n)’s friends began to giggle girlishly. “Hufflepuff! You never told me you were a Hufflepuff.” A familiar voice boomed.

Looking up she saw the one and only Sirius Black. “You never asked. Why do you even care?” She said in a bored tone.

“I don’t know, I just assumed you would be a Slytherin with your family record.” he shrugged as he plopped down opposite of her.

She rolled her eyes, “Says the lone Griffindor.”

“Touché.” He smirked. “So...”

Unamused the girl cut him off, “Sirius! What do you want? You haven’t stepped into a study hall once in your entire life!”

“I just wanted to know if you were going to the party tonight.” The words rolled off his tongue.

“I don’t tend to get invited to parties. I haven’t exactly heard of any parties going on.”

He smirked, “Well I’m inviting you to the Party in the Gryffindor common room. The password will be simple... Party Howler. Bring your friends, it’ll fun.”

Her friends squealed like star-struck teens. When he left her friends began to pelt her with questions.

“When did you start hanging around that hottie?” Hazel purred.

“Better yet why and don’t skimp of on the details! You got to be dating!” Pixie purred.

“Why didn’t you tell us?” Jake asked.

Sighing (y/n) answered, “We met one and a half weeks before the end of the break. We are not dating... Our families married us off to ensure we married purebloods. My parents used the imperious curse to force me into it knowing I would never marry anyone I didn’t love and his parents threatened his brother...Once he figured out what had happened to me he softened up. He’s not as bad as I imagined. He behaves like a party boy here but the way he cares for his brother is so endearing.” She caught herself gushing.

“Oh” Pixie, “My” Hazel, “Merlin!” Jake all gawked.

“I can’t believe your parents did that.” Jake shook his head.

“I think that’s the worst they’ve done!” Pixie twisted her mouth into an almost sneer.

“If they put you under a spell to force you into marrying him... does it even count?” asked Haley.

“Hon in the Wizarding world, as long as you say I do and don’t go signing divorce papers it does.” Pixie sassed, “why aren’t you divorcing now?”

(y/n) shrugged, “I don’t know... I guess because we are in the same boat. Nowhere to go.”

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Clothes you wore. 

(y/n) stood in front of her mirror in her favorite yellow dress, gathering all the courage she needed to head out to a wild Gryffindor party. She left with her friends and headed to the Gryffindors common room and gave the Fat Lady the password and entered the raging party It didn’t take long to get handed a red cup of cheap butterbeer. The friends made their way around the room and along the way Sirius found them. “Darling!” he sang, his words slurred.

“Sirius, how long have you been drinking?” (y/n) asked in a concerned tone.

“Awe, babe... I’m great. I’m not even halfway done. Let me get you get another  drink.” He slurred as he wrapped an arm around her to give her a quick squeeze before he stumbled off into the crowd. The four pushed towards the fire where they could observe the rest of the party, Pixie and Jake were regular party goers, but the rest weren’t as well versed in the party environment. 

Pixie swayed and bopped about with Jake while their friends looked at the partygoers. 

Sirius came stumbling back followed by a tall lanky boy carrying a couple of butterbeer bottles. Sirius stumbled right into (y/n), leaning on her so he hung on her. His face on my shoulder next to my ear he whispered, “Babe...Babe, this...Remus.”

(Y/N) stopped him, “Siris how have you gotten so drunk so fast?”

“It’s just settling in that’s all. Now, this is Remus... Could you please set him up with one of your friends?”

(y/n) turned to the tall boy had already past her friends the bottles he had been carrying, “Remus... How much he had to drink?”

He scratched at his head, “I’m not sure.”

Sirius kept his nose buried in her shoulder and was beginning to feel her up. She ignored him as she spoke to Remus, “Ok, do you know when he started?”

“Couple of hours before. He’s been funny since he came back from break.”

“Well, Remus these are my friends, Pixie, Hazel, and Jake. Could you please keep them company while I go take him to bed.” (y/n) hummed filling her husband's request and she knew the boy and he was nice so...

“Nooooo!” Sirius whined as he tried to straighten up.

“Come on party boy this party is over for you.” She guided him up the boy's dorm stairs. He gestured to his door and then bed. But she took him into the bathroom where she sat him on the toilet, turned and told him to go, he did and redressed and she turned and brushed his teeth. Before she allowed him to leave she had him drink a large cup of water with the magic version of an aspirin. 

She put him in bed and when she turned to leave he grabbed her wrist. “Don’t go...Babe don’t go.” He grumbled.

“It’s the boy's dorm, I shouldn’t be here now.”

He cleverly remarked like it was rehearsed, “But what if I vomit and then drown in it?”

With a sigh, kicked off her shoes, pulled his off and then she climbed into bed beside him. For the first time, he snuggled into her, his arms around her holding her back flush against his chest.

She had fallen asleep by the time his dorm mates came clamoring in. Sirius didn’t even move an inch but (y/n) snapped up and looked around confused for just a moment. The boys all stared in shock but she simply turned to face Sirius and checked on him to make sure he hadn’t suffocated in vomit or something. She settled back in and ignored the shocked boys.

In the morning, she awoke to Sirius’ face buried in her chest. She wiggled out of his grasp and the bathroom. Once she was finished she filled a cup with water and another magic version of an aspirin. She carefully nudged him awake. He groaned and she shushed him, “Shhh... Hun, I need you to sit up.”

With her help he does, “I brought you something to lessen your hangover before I head out for breakfast. I’ll bring you something back.” He gladly swallowed the meds and sipped at the water. He handed her the cup with what he didn’t drink and she set it on his desk. 

“Bathroom.” He groaned. She helped him there, then helped him back. She covered him back up and then headed out. “Thanks... babe.”

(y/n) strode into the dining hall to meet her friends for breakfast. All her friends jumped at her wanting to know it all. “Nothing happened.” She assured them not that that’s what they wanted to hear. “I just helped him to bed and he asked me to stay... So I  did.”

The last bit had her friends squealing. “So are you two a real thing now?” Hazel giggled.

“No. We don’t even know each other. We are just civil that is all.” (Y/N) sighed as she plopped down and made herself a plate of strawberry pancakes.

“Oh come on. He’s hot.” Pixie drooled.

“So...? Looks don’t last forever.” (y/n) said with a mouth full of pancake.

“What about... He behaves like a party boy here but the way he cares for his brother is so endearing.” Jake mocked (y/n)s voice from the day before.

“Ulg give me a break!” (y/n) whined.

________________________________________________________

(y/n) brought a plate up to the Gryffindor dorms. The fat lady allowed her in when she explained why she was there. As she walked up the stairs she could hear an angry voice yelling followed by Sirius whining. She stepped in and the room fell silent. Remus who had been yelling turned and stormed out quietly. “I brought you some breakfast.”

(y/n) handed him the plate quietly sat on the edge of the bed. He gave her a small Thank you before silently eating. She smiled and patted his calves, “So... What was that about?”

He didn’t answer at first, “Nothing...I just didn’t tell him about you... and he’s just upset that’s all.”

“I see... I understand why he’s upset but why didn’t you tell him? Are you embraced you let your mother marry you off to a pureblood?”

“I’m ashamed I allowed my mother to push me into something that should be held sacred. Something I only wanted to do when I was in love and ready... I’m not ashamed of you babe. Really...It’s not you and I am truly sorry you were saddled with me.”

Sirius’ eyes filled with tears and his body shook, his head in his hands. (Y/n) reached out and pulled him into her chest allowing him to cry into her chest. “Shh,” she cooed, “It’s alright... you’re alright. Is this why you got so drunk last night.”

He rubbed his face further into her breasts before mumbling into them, “Kinda... I wanted to tell him and my other friends by introducing you to them, letting them get to know you and then tell them. I fucked that up royally I am so sorry.”

“Why? You have nothing to apologize for. You have been more than wonderful when you didn’t have to be. You didn’t have to introduce me to your friends or even acknowledge me at school but you planned for your friends to like me and that is so sweet.” (Y/n) cooed stroking his hair to soothe him.

He finally lifted his head “Yeah?”

“Yeah, now finish your breakfast. The day has only just begun.”

Chapter 2

[soulkinder]

I was tagged by @rontiro to do this funky music thing I’ve been procrastinating but here ya have it! Rules: List ten songs you’re currently obsessed with (note - my music taste changes every three days and you caught me on a rather trippy week) The Ugly Kings - Black Widow  I adore this entire album, but Black Widow in particular is really good for getting me into a powerful energetic zone. I associate it with the break of dawn as a storm brews in the sky, a Wild West trial for execution, treason within one’s home.  Cleõphüzz - Half Moon Ritual Literally just discovered this masterpiece today. Wizard of Phuzz is damn sick, but Half Moon Ritual has some intense otherworldly vibes I’m super into. I associate this song with nomadic spirit quests, cauldrons stirring, and raging midnight desert storms. Many Rooms - Danielle Very different style from the first two, I can confidently say I have been obsessed with this song since the moment I heard the first verse. Never have I discovered such a juxtaposition of something so hauntingly constricting, yet liberating. This is a song for empty, rainy train stations, foggy fields, sleeping cities, and old dilapidating farmhouses.  Daughter - Burn it Down I’ve loved Elena Tonra since before she was part of Daughter, and Life is Strange is such a unique series that’s always intrigued me so when I discovered Daughter did the sequel’s soundtrack I had high hopes. I wasn’t disappointed, especially with this song, which taps into a more aggressive style for the band I certainly enjoy. This song if for racing down busy streets, one-way plane tickets, the recreation of the self. Closure in Moscow - Happy Days I’ve been seriously into this band for almost a year now, and at first I didn’t like Pink Lemonade as much as some of their other stuff because it was so out there, but that’s precisely why I fell in love with it in the end. Choosing one song out of this album is not an easy task, since nearly every track transcends reality, but I can confidently say I’ve had this one on repeat for at least a month. I associate it with drug-induced costume parties, extraterrestrial unity, and dancing alone in your bedroom with speakers on full blast. Klaxons - Magick What a fucking trip. Not only did Klaxons basically turn Crowley’s work into a punk subgenre, but they made a pretty sweet music video. Any bookworm occultists might recognize some of the lyrics as being directly derived from Alastair’s rituals. I associate this song with vampiric rock concerts, graveyard raves, and strange entities emerging from the sewers.  Dream State - Try Again This band is essentially what Paramore should have become. Not shying away from getting just a teensy bit more hardcore, the passion and lyrical beauty I find in most of their songs is incredible. This song specifically has a lot of deeper meaning to me personally, as I’ve related it to my own life and I’m sure many others have. This song is courage, heartbreak, rising from the ashes, hitchhiking out of town and hoping never to return. Perturbator - Cult of 2112 All of Perturbator’s music is so easy to jam out to, it’s tough to pick just one I’m obsessed with, but as of this moment, Cult of 2112 has a special place in the darker groovy side of my heart. This is an 8-bit zombie apocalypse, getting stoned and imagining a battle between angels and demons taking place around you as you bike home at 2am, violet neon lights, futuristic cities, cyberpunk monster hunting teams now recruiting new members. Bong - Out of the Aeons  Named after the Lovecraftian tale, this 35 minute long song is great to listen to stoned. Reciting some verses from the story, it feels more like an adventure quest than plain old music. I associate this song with portals hidden in plain sight, glitches in the matrix, birthing fantastical worlds around you while daydreaming on long bus rides.  foxwedding - The Fall  foxwedding is a phenomenal artist, and this song gives me “cold hands gripping your heart” type chills. A gateway, a discovery, a decision, a verdict, hidden truths, dangerous paths, this song could be anything and everything. I associate it with abandoned government laboratories, the aftermath of a war that left behind the strangest of details, realizing the madness you thought was finally defeated shall always live within. I’m going to tag @king-akita and @aldamirie to do this if they so desire, and of course anyone else who may be interested.