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just-dreaming-marvel · 4 years

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ONE HUNDRED THIRTY EIGHT - HOLOGRAM (3)

LEGACY: A Tony Stark Daughter Story

FULL STORY MASTERLIST

ENDING THREE MASTERLIST

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Word Count: 1,245ish

Summary: Bailey finds more messages from her father.

~~~

The next morning, I woke up earlier than everyone and snuck into the workshop. I craved to be near something that was undeniably Tony. I walked around the workshop, my fingers gently brushing on things as I made my way around. As I did, FRIDAY sensed my presence.

“Miss Stark,” the AI called in the silence of the workshop, “Are you here to finish watching Project Goodbye?”

“What?” I looked up at the ceiling.

“I was instructed to only show a portion of his hologram at the memorial. Boss said that the next time you’d be in here was to finish watching it.”

“Did he now?” I rolled my eyes as I ran my hand down my face. “Well…” I plopped down on a stool. “I guess play it then FRIDAY.”

The lights dimmed and a hologram of Tony quickly appeared. I gasped at the sight. It wasn’t the one I was recently familiar with. It seemed to be the one that was stuck in space five years ago. He was very skinny, sickly looking.

“This thing on?” His tired voice rang through the room.

He leaned back against the wall after confirming the helmet was filming him. I could hear the deep breaths he was taking. “Hey, Miss Potts… Pep… Hey, Bailey… If you find this recording,”

“don’t post it on social media.”

“It’s gonna be a real tear-jerker.”

Tears pricked my eyes.

“I don’t know if you’re ever going to see these. I don’t even know if you’re… if you’re still… Oh god, I hope so. Today is day 21, uh 22. You know, if it wasn’t for the existential terror of staring into a void of space, I’d say I’m feeling better today. The infection’s run its course, thanks to the blue meanie back there.” Nebula. “You two would love her. Very practical. Only a tiny bit sadistic. Some fuel cells were cracked during battle, but we figured out a way to reverse the ion charge to buy ourselves about 48 hours of time. But it’s now dead in the water. We’re 1000 light years from the nearest 7-11. Oxygen will run out tomorrow. And that’ll be it. And Pep, B, I… I know I said no more surprises, but I was really hoping to pull off one last one. But it looks like… well you know what it looks like. Don’t fell bad about this. I mean, if you grovel for a couple of weeks, and then move on with enormous guilt.”

I let out a sad chuckle as a few tears slipped down my cheeks.

rr“I should probably lie down. Please know that… when I drift off, I will dream about you. The both of you. It’s always been you.”

The hologram switched off but then flickered back on. The hologram was of Tony, the same one that had recorded the hologram for the memorial service.

“Hey B… if you’re watching this that means… well it means that death finally caught up to me. That it didn’t end the way we wanted it it to… The way we hoped it would… It also means that you’re doing as bad as I think you’re doing. Yeah… sorry for having little faith in you but,” he shrugged, “your track record is against you… You’re probably wondering why I had you watch that video from five years ago before this. Well, to quote your mother, we got lucky. I could have died up there and you both could have been snapped away. But none of that happened. We got to live a life together, with Pepper and Morgan. And you got to secretly love Capsicle.” Tony shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

“Still don’t know how I feel about you marrying the guy… But if it’s what makes you happy, then I’m not going to stop you… I love you kid. And I want to thank you for coming into my life and allowing me to come into yours… Honestly, if it wasn’t for you, I probably wouldn’t have married Pepper and then we wouldn’t have Morgan. You made me realize, though I did mess up horribly a few dozen times… You made me realize that I could be a wonderful father, that I wasn’t cursed to be like mine forever… Thank you kid. I love you so much. And I hope, one day, that you’ll forgive me.”

“I don’t want you to ever think that you are worth less than you actually are worth… Keep doing what you’re doing… The company is yours, if you want it, of course. You’re so strong, sweetheart, and so powerful. You’re going to do great things.” He smiled at me. “I love you 3000.” And the video ended.

I was left with silence and tears streaming down my face. Why did I have to be so mean to him? I quickly wiped away my tears as I heard the workshop door squeak open. I turned around in my chair to see Wanda. We gave each other a small smile.

“Are you ready for this?” Wanda asked.

“I guess... I don’t really know exactly what I’m doing.”

“Just... uh... feel for him? Or reach out to him?”

“Yeah,” I nodded. “Okay.”

We cleared the table and had me lay on it. Wanda sat besides it, nervously watching me. I closed my eyes and began to reach out to Tony. Not long after, the darkness had turned into the Malibu Mansion. I wandered the main floor, figuring that Tony wasn’t there but that it wouldn’t hurt to check. Before I could head downstairs a voice stopped me.

“Have you finally come to your senses?” I turned to see Nat standing in the living room, arms crossed and hip popped out a bit.

“I know I hurt him. I’m here to apologize.”

“Well he’s not here.”

“Where is he then?”

“He left right after you did and I haven’t been able to find him since... Tony really took you rushing out of here hard.”

I pulled my hair back. “What have I done?” I walked over and plopped down onto the couch, covering my face with my hands. “I didn’t mean it.”

Nat sat down next to me. “I need you to try to feel him out. So that we can find him.”

I closed my eyes to focus on Tony, on his thoughts. It didn’t take very long to make a connection. He was having a conversation with someone.

“I have the connection,” I told Nat without opening my eyes.

“Good. Now... this is going to sound crazy B, but I need you to... how do I put this? Wish yourself there.”

“What?” I snapped my eyes open to look at her. “How the—“

“Just trust me on this.”

I looked at her skeptically before focusing once again and wishing myself to Tony’s location. Wind quickly swept around me. It felt weird. When I opened my eyes again, I was standing in front of a different house. A different mansion. What had just happened? Had I just teleported? Was it something everyone could do here or could I do it back in the real world too?

I could feel that Tony was inside. I nervously walked up and knocked on the door. I fiddled with my fingers as I waited for the door to open. When it did, I was met the face of a woman I had always wanted to meet but never thought I would. My grandmother, Maria Stark.

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shellheadtm-a · 4 years

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anon | What about Tony/Nat? I love the relationship you’ve built with her!

the great thing about tony and nat is that...overall, there’s not a lot you have to actually build because the canon’s done it for you. so here’s my spiel: i encourage anyone, i implore everyone, if you have not dipped your toes in the world of comics, please do so. please. you’re gonna love parts, you’re gonna hate parts. parts are gonna break your heart. but everything - and i mean everything - the wishful thinking 2012 mcu avengers fandom wanted has literally already happened there. literally all of it. okay, spiel over, but i make it because tony and nat have this...entire relationship that contains a little of everything in a way that just...you won’t get otherwise.

like, let’s be honest here, nat and tony started out with her trying to kill him. more than once. he was a target, not a friend. but look at them now, right, they’ve come such a long, long way. part of it is nat’s change of heart, her new life, the whole thing. part of it is tony’s indomitable spirit that got her attention, because it’s true. tony stark really is invincible. but he also has this amazing, unique ability to look at someone, see the worst they’ve done, compare it to who they are now, and still hand over his faith and trust to them implicitly. he can see someone - and in nat’s case it’s very true - doing something that confirms the worst in them, and resolutely stand there and say no, they had a reason to do it, a good reason. it’s bitten him in the ass a few times. it really never has with nat.

the early days are all wrapped up in post-mccarthyism cold war propaganda, to a degree, so you gotta take that stuff with a grain of salt, but...let’s be real here people. tony stark is pure of heart, dumb of ass, and will always believe the best in people. he’ll call himself a pessimist and then throw the weight of his belief behind the dark horse in the race, the underdog. the one you’d never bet on in your right mind. nat’s one of those. and listen...listen...tony...loves nat...so much. he really does. i wonder a lot about him coming out of his coma to be told, sure, about all the bad shit that went down, but about nat. how she died. (luckily we pretend secret empire was a fever dream on this blog so he doesn’t have to deal with that, too). like there’s just...something i really can’t explain very well between them that directly comes from being on opposing sides and ending up on the same one, but without the begrudging antagonism that trope usually has. nat’s soft with tony. tony’s soft with nat.

to put it in perspective, look. nat’s disabled tony’s security and climbed on his bed to sit with him until he wakes up, and this isn’t necessarily really treated as being all that unusual. or shocking. it’s like a joke between them, like nat regularly just climbs into tony’s room and plops down on his bed and he’s used to waking up like this. that kind of trust. and even when she whammies him, still. that kind of trust, because no...no...nat’s not bad, nat has a reason, nat is doing what she has to do i believe in her.

(he’s never forgiving the lipstick whammy, though, nat, forget it, he’s holding it against you for literally ever, he’s still whining about it canon, deal with it.)

tony’s always so quick to point out hey you don’t have to go this alone, you know, we’re here, we love you, we’re you’re friends, despite...doing the same shit himself but no one ever said tony’s not a hypocrite. he worries about her, because he knows what kind of shit she gets up to. it’s as bad as the shit he gets up to when he’s going alone and the world is against him and while they are very, very different people with very different ways of dealing with things? he’s got some perspective other people might not. he doesn’t remember it, but he played spy master once. and nat’s choice in that fight was no doubt pragmaticism than picking between two friends, she does remember that. she also probably remembers how tony damn near drove himself into the ground with it, because i am 1000% sure she was the majority contact between tony and bucky at the time, considering bucky had declared he was doing shit his own way, which meant, on the surface, tony couldn’t be see publically supporting him. that was a lot of fun and games, let me tell you (and by fun and games i mean everything was horrible).

and hey, it’s not like nat and tony haven’t canonically been at least friends with benefits. whether it went deeper than two friends who love each other a lot having a bonus physical intimacy and not a full blown relationship is up to your interpretation, but that happened. tony was comfortable with that, they had a thing. and obviously it’s fine because it really hasn’t effected anything between them, you know? like even today, this minute, this very moment, tony can see natasha in a situation that, to him, points the job, and he won’t do anything, won’t draw any attention to it, except ask her where she needs him, what she needs from him, what he needs to do. no questions. no prying. just unfailing support, that...metaphorically taking her hand and giving a squeeze because he’s there for her, he’s got her back, no matter what.

and since i just reread name of the rose the other day, this is a good example of just...where tony stands with nat. this guy really thought he was gonna turn them against nat. really thought he was gonna shame bucky, clint, and tony about all having known nat intimately in some fashion. and these three assholes...they close ranks around her. put up a shield around her. are very much an active part - along with logan, who taught her - in doing what they can to help her, this badass lady who goes through surgery with no anesthesia, while they’re really helpless to help there. someone they’ve all loved in their own ways. like, fucker, please, you could never turn tony stark against nat. ever. who the fuck do you think you are.

(this is also another old guard of the avengers thing when i say that - there’s a closeness from being so close to the start that just...has bound a very exceptional, very unique group of people together for what’s going to be the rest of their lives. it’s special. it’s sacred, kind of, in a way.)

endless wartime was...mostly a shit comic, but it had some nice touches on the tony/nat relationship, too (also nat and clint but i digress). her joking that tony talking to bruce meant they were all going to die. and then getting on his ass when his suit gets taken out (after being shot) when he says he can’t stand because he’s an avenger, isn’t he? to be the one to walk him off the quinjet because he’d been hit, he’d been hurt. like...nat and tony have been, in some way or another, nearly everything to each other.

tony and nat are...they’re just different, sure, but they’re people that have pasts rooted in war and the machinery of war and have found themselves out the other side. it’s a unique co-fraternity to belong to. and i can promise you tony loves nat with his whole ass heart, would do literally anything she asked, no questions asked, no blinking, because he trusts her implicitly. their intimacy isn’t really like...i think other kinds of relationships might have, it’s having a shared part of the past and becoming better people, better heroes, and finding each other and others that give them things they had been missing, or missing for a long time, like a real family again.

INSERT TONY SHIP GET THOUGHTS | ACCEPTING

#file //: ( anonymous )#array //: ( ooc asks )#// i just...i love them #// that's all #// i love them #// in any form they want to take with each other #// tony loves and respects and trusts nat so goddamn much #// it hurts

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sherrybaby14 · 6 years

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Who Am I (Part 16)

Who Am I masterlist

Summary: A/B/O universe. You’re an Omega hiding your nature while working in Stark labs. An incident results in your exposure and you find yourself at the mercy of two Alphas.

Words: 5k

Warnings: None, past talks of assault. But overall this is a non-con story PLEASE DO NOT READ IF THIS OFFENDS YOU. (another plot chapter, but don’t worry we are not done with the smut yet).

Crickets chirped. Your lids were heavy, but you forced them open. There was a wooden wall in front of you, pine maybe. You groaned and brought your hand behind your back as you sat up. You blinked several times and took in your surroundings. You were on the floor of a log cabin. There was no furniture in the room, the only light a dim glow from a lamp sitting in the corner of the room. This wasn’t Bucky and Steve’s apartment.

Adrenaline kicked in as your memory returned. The party, the crash, and the feeling of flying. They weren’t with you. The realization made you feel sick, as if your heart was caving in on itself. Your breathing quickened, scared you were going to hyperventilate back into unconsciousness. You wanted your alphas, being away from them felt like missing a limb.

There was a squeak of hinges and you looked towards the door. The lamp illuminated your captor’s face, making his features even sharper. Heavy boots walked towards you and you pushed off the floor, sliding into the corner.

“I have no aims to harm you.” He stopped moving. “In fact, I am certain I find this situation as uncomfortable as you do.”

Tears started to form and you brought your arms around yourself, shutting your eyes and picturing Steve and Bucky. There was nothing to fear, they would be coming for you. The footsteps continued, and you bit your lip hoping to stifle the scream that wanted to make it’s way out.

“Taking a hostage was not in my plans.” The friendly tone of his voice was more off putting than if he were beating you up. “Here.”

You opened your eyes. He was crouched down in front of you, his hand holding out a bottle of water.

“I intend for our time together to be short.” He set the water down. “Do you know who I am?”

You nodded. Your mouth dried up as you looked at the water.

“Come now, I am being very polite little omega. There is no reason you cannot do the same. Look me in the eye.”

It sounded like a command and your chin turned upwards. His blue iris’ stared down at yours, sending a chill through your spine. You knew he was from another planet, that made him have no designation. He was not an alpha, but still had the same power over you.

“I do enjoy how subservient your kind is.” He laughed. “Wish we had your types on Asgard.”

You didn’t know if he meant omega or human, but either way you recoiled pulling your knees even tighter to your chest.

“I meant that as a compliment.” A finger went under your chin, tilting your head back up.

You didn’t like him touching you. No man but your alphas should ever touch you. They were coming for you, you were sure of it. All you had to do was be strong. For them.

“Loki.” The name sounded like Satan in your brain.

In a weird way you were grateful though. Without his outburst your secret would never have been found out. The thought made you relax.

“Good omega.” He dropped his finger.

“What….what.” You swallowed, hoping to quiet your fear. “What do you want with me?”

“You were merely a convenience. I have no intention of spending the rest of my existence in an Asgardian prison. I saw an opportunity to escape and I took it. Imagine my surprise when I barreled into a room filled with heroes. Then I spotted you. I assumed you were important to one of them. Tell me which one?” Loki gave a half smile. “The two soldiers were the only alphas there. Who might be knocking on this front door looking for you?”

You turned your head to the side, not wanting to share anything with this monster. To your surprise he reached out and grabbed your chin again, tilting your head the other way.

“Hmmm…no bite marks.” He let go. “Maybe you are not that important to anyone.”

You felt a wave of shame wash over you and brought your hands to your neck, covering it up. It was none of his business.

“I suppose time will tell.” He sighed. “I expect my brother will find a way to make contact in the next day, possible he will arrive here since I did not hide us very well. He will not wait for his less evolved teammates to accompany him. Then I will use you to barter with him. Whether you want to believe it or not little omega, you have nothing to fear from me. Now drink, I do not intend to return you in a dire state.”

You stared at the water, wanting to take a drink so bad.

“Drink.” He spoke in a manner that was almost a quiet yell.

Your hand jutted out and you grabbed the bottle. Once the water hit your tongue you greedily gulped it down. Loki rose, his presence making you feel even smaller as you dropped the water and moved back into the corner.

“If Midgard was made up of only your kind I would have conquered you in a day.” You did not look up at him, his words alone made you want to disappear. “I apologize for the less than comfortable accommodations, but I think the drink will help you grow a custom to them.”

Your eyes darted to the spilled liquid and terror spread your body, but not as fast as the sluggish feeling coursing through your veins. Your vision started to haze and you slumped over.

“As docile as your kind is I still felt the need for precautions. Sleep well omega. We will talk again in the morning.”

Morning? You realized you didn’t even know what time it was, or where you were. A sob tried to break free, but your body was too tired to produce it. Before sleep took over you told yourself to have faith in your alphas. They were coming for you.

~~~

“Loki can fly?” Clint sharpened his arrow. “Did anyone else know Loki could fly?”

Steve ignored him. Everything fogged in and out as he continued to pace. More muffled conversations went on in the background. How could this have happened? Where was she? He was more than ready to bust out of the tower and chase her down, but he knew it would prove fruitless without a plan. Right now he was incapable of forming one. He needed his teammates’ help.

“Don’t worry buddy.” Tony stepped in front of him and stopped his pacing. “Thor took off right after them. I’m sure he’s already on his way back with Y/N.”

Hearing her name out of Tony’s mouth almost made Steve want to sock him in the jaw. She was a goddess. One that belonged to him, one that he swore to protect, one that he hadn’t even been able to claim. A vision of Loki dropping her in a public place, some other alpha stumbling upon her. The picture made his blood boil.

Tony must have read his mood because he moved out of the way. Nobody should have anything to do with her except for Steve and Bucky. He glanced towards the other alpha. He looked beaten, sulked over in a chair. His mind moving as fast as Steve’s, but always the calmer one Bucky knew how to hide it. Steve needed that right now, maybe clearing his mind would help.

“Come on.” Steve didn’t look at Bucky as he walked towards the back of the room. James knew to follow and the two went to a private space.

“We have to do something.” Steve ran his hands over his hair. “How could we have let this happen?”

“She didn’t even want to come.” Bucky’s features looked blank. “Remember? She asked us to stay home, wanted to have a night in. We shouldn’t have brought her here, not without a claim. What if she goes into heat and we’re not there?”

“What if he kills her? What if we never see her again?” Steve knew they were feeding off each other. “What if we sat here and did nothing while the computers tried to track and Thor tried to chase?”

“What do you want to do?” Bucky folded his arms. “If you have a lead, or a feeling even, I will follow you. We have to get her back. It wasn’t this painful when I lost my arm.”

Steve’s mouth opened, but he couldn’t find the words. They could tear up Manhattan, or all of New York. But for all he knew she was in California by now. Leaving would only delay finding her. He shut his eyes and nodded, trying to find reason again.

“Four hours.” Bucky’s words rang in his head.

“I know.” Steve snapped.

Delaying a relapse wasn’t even on his radar right now, but he couldn’t get the countdown out of his head. He was certain his best friend felt the same way but was man enough to admit it. In four hours she would hate them again. Then how long would it take to come to her senses?

A whoosh filled the room. Steve and Bucky both turned towards the new arrival. He wanted to see her, rushing towards them with arms wide open, feeling the same sense of longing he was struggling through. Instead all that entered was a tall blonde.

“We’re cross-checking the direction of his path with newly purchased and abandoned properties. It would be great if you could give us a radius of his possible travel. Carrying Y/N could he get 100 meters or 1000?” Tony pointed to the computer screens.

Steve couldn’t even admire his fellow Avenger for keeping on task. All he could feel was heartbroken that Thor returned without Y/N.

“He’s a trickster.” Thor shook his head. “Moved faster than me. He will want to trade her for something. My guess is freedom.”

Clint, Nat, Bruce, Tony, and Thor all turned to look at Steve and Bucky. They all had that questioning look on their faces. Thor walked over first. He reached out and put his hands on Steve’s and James’ shoulders.

“What will you be willing to trade for her?” Thor asked.

“Everything.”

“The universe.” Steve and Bucky spoke in unison.

There was an awkward pause, but the room nodded.

“Loki will make contact. He will not harm your omega.” Thor squeezed down. “I assure you. Right now it is best to wait.”

Steve trusted Thor and believed what he said. Y/N wasn’t safe, but right now the biggest danger was herself. He glanced at Bucky who had the same look on his face. Four hours. The clock felt heavy.

~~~

“I may have over estimated my brother.” A smooth voice filled your surroundings.

Your eyelids felt heavier than before and you struggled to blink them open.

“I may have over estimated how much of that drug you needed as well. I expected you up hours ago.” The smooth voice had a face now.

Your haze lifted and you pushed yourself up from the floor, whipping your hair away in the process. He was crouched next to you, his dark hair slicked back. He held out a bottle of water again.

“There are no additives in this one.” He unscrewed the lid and took a drink. “See?”

The memories of last night were minimized by the memories of the last few months. You were free. You were yourself. There was no time to process before the tears started to fall.

“Come now, none of that. It will make our time together unnecessarily awkward.” Loki sighed.

You lunged forward. Your brain rattling at a million miles per hour, and through your arms around his neck, knocking him to the ground.

“Don’t fight me. You will never win.” His hands went to yours, which were latched behind his neck.

You drowned out the words as you sobbed into his shoulder. Your first encounter with Steve, how you begged him to stop. Your first encounter with James, how he told you he was helping you. They all muddled together. You begged for help, nobody answered. Nobody but Loki. You wouldn’t think of all the horrible things he had done, now he was your savior.

“Wait, are you hugging me?” You held him tighter and he dropped his hands from yours.

There was no reassuring pat on your back, like Steve of James would have given. His body stiffened under yours. You knew you needed to explain yourself and started speaking at lightning speed. The constant sex, the warping of your mind. The way they called you ‘doll’ and treated you like one. Some of it was too much to even speak out loud.

Loki’s shoulder relaxed and his hands came up behind your back. You tightened your muscles at first, thinking of Steve and Bucky. But your mind snapped back. Fuck Steve and Fuck Bucky. You lifted your head and locked eyes with Loki, unsure how to continue. A few more sobs broke free, but then you started to calm yourself.

“Please, start from the beginning.”

It didn’t matter who he was. It didn’t matter who you were. Right now, all that mattered was you were free and intended to keep it that way.

“You saw me in the lab and pointed out I was different…”. The story started out easy. As hard as it would get you would tell someone. Hopefully, the man who tried to conquer the earth would have enough compassion to save you in one way or another.

~~~

By the time you were finished Loki was sitting with his back against the wall with you in his lap. The position felt wrong, the man felt evil, but at least another living creature knew your story. Your tears long dried up, you knew you should run away, but the comfort he was giving while you spoke was too much to neglect.

“Omega you’ve been through quite a bit.” His voice carried no sincerity, but you pushed the thought down. “I won’t return you to your abusers.”

Abusers. The word didn’t fit for them. What did fit though? You forced away the analyzation, part of you still clinging to going back to them. They had names, but thinking Steve, James, let alone Bucky made you want to crawl on all fours into their arms. You were fried, unable to process anything.

“I do apologize, but I think now is the perfect time to reach out to my bother.” Loki slid you off his lap.

His slight act made you feel even more vulnerable. Speaking to him was a mistake. You belonged with your alphas. NO!! You screamed in your mind, they weren’t your alphas, they were rapists.

“It will be quick.” Loki stood up. “I will ask you to join us when the time is right.”

He turned and left the room. You reached out, ready to grab him and make him stay. Shame came back to you, again feeling like your life was in the hands of others. Couldn’t he just let you go? But in your current state what would happen if you ran into an alpha? An unclaimed omega? You shuddered. Could it be worse than what you had been through?

Images of Bucky and Steve flashed in front of you. At least they thought they were helping. Why did you have to be an omega? Life wasn’t fair.

When the time is right. What did that even mean? You tugged at the door handle and again it did not move. Where were you? There was no way to tell if there was another room on the other side of the door or the outside. Were you in a cabin or a basement? You could have been in an attic for all you knew, making the surroundings even more uncomfortable.

“Trying to break the door down?” You remembered your first encounter with Steve. Back in that small apartment in Stark tower where you thought you could get the hinges off with a butter knife.

Picturing his face made you ball up your fist. You wanted to nail him in his beautiful jaw. The idea started to morph, instead of punch maybe slap. Then you imagined his arms around your waist, holding you close. How could he have left you alone? They promised not to.

“NO!” You yelled out loud in frustration and shook.

That was not why you were angry. You were angry about what they had done to you, against your will. You tried to focus on that thought, study it as if to burn it into your brain. You hoped Loki’s statement was correct and that he was not returning you to Bucky or Steve. Because you were certain if you saw either of them right now your will would crumble and you would fall right into their arms.

“It’s just a side effect.” You started pacing. “Get your pills back and you will be back to normal.”

Back to normal. Back to hiding. Back to being alone. Back to a life filled with work that must remain hidden. Away from friendships. Away from comfort. Away from love. Love. You never said the word to either of them, it made your chest heave.

“NO!” You yelled again. “It was all a lie.”

The way you were feeling, struggling with yourself. Steve and James were the bad guys. Soon you would be fixed, back to normal and wanting nothing to do with either of them. You needed to focus on that and prayed that whoever came for you it wasn’t either of them.

~~~

Twelve hours. Y/N was missing for twelve hours. There was no chance she hadn’t relapsed. Steve could only imagine hold alone and confused she felt right now. They had failed her, he had failed her.

“Stop.” Thor was examining the satellite feed. “There. That’s a message from Loki.”

“Is that a crop circle?” Bruce asked as Tony zoomed in on the image.

“It’s Southern Pennsylvania.” Tony continued to enhance. “How did you notice that? It’s not a very big one.”

“Big enough.” Thor rose. “I am certain if you compare shots, last night the corn will have been in perfect form.”

“That seems a little silly for Loki.” Bruce scratched his head. “Are you sure?”

“We are aliens.” Thor grabbed his hammer. “I should get there within the hour.”

“Wait.” Steve sat up. “We’re coming to.”

He knew Bucky had already jumped up from his chair.

“If you insist, she is your omega, but I can get there faster without you.” Thor crossed his arms.

“I’m going to.” Tony pushed off from the desk. “The non – flying avengers can take the jet.”

Steve appreciated the assistance, but gave Bucky a look. They were both thinking the same thing. If Y/N had relapsed, maybe having Tony and Thor there may be a bit much.

“Y/N is still detoxing from those pills.” Steve started towards Tony. “She may be a bit erratic.”

“Detoxing?” Nat asked. “She seemed fine to me.”

“Well that was twelve hours ago.” Bucky wiped his face. “It’s a long story, private.”

“Alright, so there may be a stressed out omega, we will make sure you boys get her back okay?” Tony moved towards Thor. “Regardless of the girl, Loki is a terrorist. Promise him what you want, but I do not attend to let him roam free on Earth.”

“What?” Steve’s anger flared. “We agreed, trade anything for her.”

“Once you get the girl back.” Tony and Thor nodded. “She’s safe with you two, Loki becomes enemy number one again, regardless of whatever word I give him today.”

Bucky stuck his arm out and blocked Steve from moving toward Tony and gave a nod. Right now all that mattered was Y/N. Once they had her back Tony could do whatever he wanted.

“Let’s get to the jet.” Bucky picked up the coordinates and started down the hall.

Steve followed him. He worried that his teammates wouldn’t understand. They were all betas afterall. There were too many variables to worry about at the moment. Right now all that mattered was that Y/N was safe, and would be home in their arms tonight.

~~~

Fighting was easy. Steve could be ready to burst from the jet and take down any enemy, but this was different. This was a standoff with no physical threat. Everyone on the team was clearly more concerned with capturing Loki after the trade was done. They were ready to fight and gearing up for one. The only fight Steve thought he was facing may have come from Y/N. In the back of his mind he hoped against hope that there was no relapse. That enough time had passed that she fully come to her senses and was happy being an omega. Being his omega.

She was perfect. How intelligent, kind, nurturing, funny, and beautiful she was. The perfect omega for him. He even liked her little stubborn streak that showed up every now and again. The defiant part of her soul.

“We’re here.” Bucky landed the jet.

Steve got to the door. Through the window, he saw both Tony and Thor standing by the corn. He hated that they arrived first. She was his and Bucky’s omega. They should be taking the lead. The both practically jumped out of the jet as soon as possible and joined their co-harts.

“Where is she?” Steve approached Thor and Tony.

“More like where is he?” Tony raised an eyebrow towards Thor.

“As soon as you showed up with one of the goons I assumed the others could not be that far behind.” Loki’s voice sounded like a snake as he stepped out from the corn. “I decided to wait for everyone to get started.”

His presence was normally enough to push Steve into fight mode, but right now he had more to worry about.

“Where is she?” Steve wasn’t sure if he shrieked the words or not.

“Tell me, Captain, do your friends condone your treatment of the little omega?” Loki stepped forwards, his eyes not hiding the glee behind his words. “Or do they not know?”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about.” Steve did not back down. “Now tell me where she is before I pull your spine out.”

“Love the threat wonder boy.” Loki tilted his head. “As empty as it is. I’d love to tell you where she is, but I made a promise this morning. One that I actually intend on keeping. Can you guess who that promise is to?”

“Loki stop this madness.” Thor interrupted. “Where is the girl and what do you want in return?”

Loki looked Steve up and down, a smug smile on his face before he turned back towards his brother.

“I will tell you where the girl is brother, but I promised I would keep her safe from her abusers.” Loki stepped to the side, as if he were revealing Steve and Bucky.

“Alright, that is as crazy as thinking we were going to let you stay unchecked on Earth.” Tony started to suit up again. “He doesn’t have the Tesseract, I say we beat it out of him.”

“I have no desire to stay on Midgard.” Loki looked to Thor. “I would like an escort back to Asgard.”

“I do not understand your game.” Thor sounded confused. “Our father will throw you in a prison cell for your actions.”

Tony stopped his suit, equally as shocked.

“I don’t think so, not after he hears how I rescued the poor omega from the clutches of two evil alphas.” Loki folded his arms. “One that will either be corroborated by you brother, or by the girl herself. As much as the omega has grown on me I would rather avoid taking a mortal to Asgard, I do not think father would appreciate that.”

“Steve,” Tony turned towards him. “What is he talking about?”

“He’s a liar.” Steve shook his head.

“I’m certain there is an explanation.” Tony didn’t seem concerned with Loki’s story.

“When Y/N goes without her alpha for too long, she can have a manic episode.” Steve tried to explain. “It is a very complicated, private situation.”

“It is not though.” Loki held up a finger. “At least not to her.”

“We’re helping her.” Bucky practically growled.

“Or helping yourselves?” Loki interrupted. “Either way. The two soldiers stay here. I’ll escort my brother and the tin can to the girl. After that, Thor takes me to Asgard, and you do what you want with the omega.”

“No.” Steve would be the first one to find her.

“Then I vanish. Take the girl to Asgard myself.” Loki moved to right in front of Steve. “Consider this a curtesy.”

Before Steve could respond the demi-god backed away. The thought of Y/N on another planet was not worth a risk.

“Not open for debate.” Loki sighed. “I promised her. I would not return her to either of you. Do not worry, I am sure if your friend is as heartless she will still be back in your bed this evening, whether she consents or not.”

Tony’s mouth hung open.

“It’s not like he says.” Steve went to Tony. “Please, I need her.”

“Wait here.” Tony held his hand out. “I don’t buy this for a second. But you’re getting the girl and crazy is going home to his planet. This is a win-win. I’ll bring her back to you. I promise.”

The trio disappeared into the corn, Loki snickering over his shoulder as Steve and Bucky.

“I don’t like this.” Bucky crossed his arms. “We should follow them.”

“I trust Tony.” Steve thought back to his conversation with his friend, when he was first concerned over helping Y/N. “He’ll understand.”

What was there to understand? Essentially Y/N was a drug addict omega, all Steve and Bucky did was help her get clean, figure out who she really was. All this was was a setback. Tonight they would have her back. Tonight everything would be okay. Still a nagging feeling in the back of Steve’s brain told him they would not understand.

“They saw how happy she was last night.” Bucky sounded like he was half speaking to Steve, half speaking to himself. Making it too obvious that both alphas were fearing the same thing. That the betas just wouldn’t understand.

~~~

Muffled voices approached and you froze. Your brain hoped it was Dr. Banner on the other side of the door, your heart hoped for Bucky and Steve, and your stomach was ready to drop at the thought of it. You pinched your eyes shut, disgusted with yourself for even thinking something remotely positive about the two alphas.

“Y/N?” The door opened up, and it felt like everything dropped. Stomach, head, and heart. “Please tell me that this is not true?”

Tony Stark stood in the doorway, with Loki and Thor right behind him. He looked at you with pity. It brought a feeling of betrayal to your core. Telling Loki everything was wrong. That was private information between you and your alphas. You brought your hand up to you mouth to stifle the scream. How could that thought occur? You have betrayed them? They were NOT your alphas.

“It’s all true.” Your eyes started to gloss over and you ran towards Tony. “Please, help me.”

The billionaire moved to hug you, but you ducked out of the way and shook your head. You didn’t anyone to touch you. Tony held his hands in the air, showing peace.

“I’ll get you out of here okay?” He turned towards the men behind him. “And you get him out of here?”

“Goodbye little omega.” Loki grinned. “You have been quite helpful.”

Thor shook his head, a look of disgust on his face as the two walked away. You didn’t mean to help Loki. A cry came forward and you didn’t hold back, angry with yourself for this entire situation.

“What a mess.” Tony paced in the doorway.

He paused and looked you up and down, his face twisting in thought.

“We have to get out of here.” Tony turned.

“Are you….are you going to give me back to them?” If he said yes, you wouldn’t follow. At least you hoped you wouldn’t.

“Is that what you want?” Tony kept his eyes glued outside the space that was obviously now a small cabin.

“No?” You didn’t mean for it to sound as uncertain as it was.

There was an awkward silence.

“Steve made it out like he was helping you. I think he called it detoxing. Is that how you feel? Like he was helping you?” It made it worse that Tony wouldn’t look at you while he spoke.

“No?” Again there was a question in your voice. You hated sounding so weak. “All I know is that I was a different person, before them.”

“Do you want that person back?” Now Tony turned. “I can’t pretend to understand all this omega alpha stuff. But I can recognize a person in pain and the story Loki shared was painful to hear. What I can’t tell is are you in pain because of Steve and Bucky or are you in pain without Steve and Bucky?”

You struggled to answer the question.

“Please don’t tell anyone else.” You hugged your arms, the thought of more people knowing and forming opinions embarrassing you.

“Really, all of this is highly illegal. Like federal crimes illegal.” Tony ran his hands down his face. “I should have called the authorities’ that night. Then none of this would have happened.”

“Is that what you’re going to do now?”

Would they even send you to an omega house? The authorities wouldn’t let you make your pills again. Maybe they would turn you over to a new alpha. That thought made you heart feel like it was going to burst and you bit your lip.

“No.” Tony held up his hands. “Like I said, I don’t understand this alpha omega stuff. But I do understand things like sexual assault, illegal drugs. That makes it sound like we’re running a mob instead of saving the world.”

You dropped your head.

“Alright. Here’s what we are going to do.” Tony started pacing again while he rattled off his plan. One that you were equal parts upset and grateful for didn’t involve your alphas. You gulped. They were not your alphas. They were the alphas from now on.

~~~

Steve checked the time. They should have been back by now.

“Should we go after them?” Bucky asked. “We’re in the middle of nowhere. There’s only so many places to look.”

Steve went to agree when a humming filled the air. Tony. He gritted his teeth, ready to sweep into action and take care of Y/N. His heart dropped when his friend emerged from the bushes, arms empty.

“What?” Bucky stepped forwards. “Where is she?”

“She?” Tony unsuited. “Is none of your concern.”

“Tony, you don’t understand…she needs our help.” Steve knew Bucky and Tony didn’t have the same relationship. He needed to be the voice of reason.

“You’re right. I don’t understand.” Tony cracked his jaw. “I don’t understand any of it. But I can tell you that the girl told me she wants nothing to do with you. She mentioned the multiple times you attacked her, how you had her on a sex cycle to keep her docile.”

“No.” Steve shook his head. “That had nothing to do with it. When she was with us, she was the real version of herself. That girl you met today was a scared drug addict. Not Y/N.”

“Well the way she sees it, the scared drug addict is the real her.” Tony sounded annoyed. “And I am leaving that decision in her hands.”

“Where. Is. She.” Bucky asked through gritted teeth.

The last thing Steve wanted was a physical fight. It would never work.

“Somewhere safe. I’m going to set her up with a private lab.” Tony swallowed. “One where she can manufacture her pills again. Then I’m going to send her on her merry way where she can live the life she wants.”

“You can’t do that.” Steve lost it and jutted forward, grabbing Tony by the shirt.

Tony looked Steve up and down, and shook his head to the side.

“Be grateful she doesn’t want anyone else to know about this.” Tony kept his cool. “Next time you decided to take a mate, make sure she’s willing first.”

“It’s not like that.” Steve let go, and took a deep breath.

“You’re lucky I’m the only one who knows,” Tony turned and started walking backwards. “To some people, you’re not the hero. You’re the villains.”

“You’re not an alpha.” Bucky started. “She was killing herself with those pills.”

“You’re right. I’m not.” Tony kept moving. “I’m telling Bruce and the team she was too traumatized by this experience she realized she couldn’t be with an Avenger. I’d stick to the story.”

Before Steve could demand Tony tell them where she was he spun and flew off.

“This can’t be happening.” Bucky let out a scream and kicked a tree. “Tony only has so many spots. We can find her, save her again.”

You’re the villains. The words stung. Steve looked at Bucky.

“We tried.” Steve felt numb. “She doesn’t want us.”

Bucky’s blue eyes glossed over, a look of defeat settling in.

tags: @buckycaptspideypool @thatgirl-xx-thatgirl @m4shtyx @polkadotpillowcase @jazzieomega @debzybrazy @faegal04 @siren-kitten-his @huntermichelle @guardiantn @xbergiex @bellaballanda @theariel85 @thevanishedillusion @thecynicalnerd @marauderice @mac5323 @idonthavehusbandsihavelovers @negan--is--god @kellyn1604 @roschelesworld @taintedgenre @blondesouthsquad @buckyscrystalqueen @kawaiirepublic @notanothersong @princessmanson @mogaruke @reyapet @iicouldnotcarelesss @hellsdarkenedlight @isysen @thedevilkeepsadvertising

#a/b/o dynamics #stucky #stucky x reader #steve rodgers x reader #bucky barnes x reader

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aesplaylist · 7 years

Note

Can I get a playlist that's like, falling in and out of love, with a hint of break up songs? Something that kind if has the stormy vibe of real love

spotify

i think i’m fallin’ (manotett remix) // dominique

a 1000 times // hamilton leithauser + rostam

japanese denim // daniel caesar

don’t delete the kisses // wolf alice

bad liar // selena gomez

only love can hurt like this // paloma faith

pretty thoughts // galimatias & alina baraz

can’t help falling in love // haley reinhart

carry me home // jorja smith, maverick sabre

if you love me, come clean // flatsound

chasing cars // sleeping at last

yours // ella henderson

there for you // martin garrix, trove sivan

video games // lana del rey

ilysb // lany

earned it // the weeknd

powerful // major lazer

tenerife sea // ed sheeran

certain things // james arthur

latch // kodaline

heart like yours // willamette stone

prisoner // the weeknd

numbers // the cab

love me like you do // ellie goulding

all we have is love // sabrina carpenter

adore you // miley cyrus

sometimes // ariana grande

nothing without you // the weeknd

issues // julia michaels

dangerously // charlie puth

love will tear us apart // joy division

you know i’m not good // amy winehouse

new rules // dua lipa

quit // cashmere cat

nothing like us // justin bieber

saturn // sleeping at last

all i want // kodaline

what is love // kiesza

make you feel my love // sleeping at last

i don’t wanna live forever // zayn

where’s my love // syml

the night we met // lord huron

the scientist // coldplay

thinking bout you // ariana grande

you // 11:11

pieces (hushed) // andrew belle

i won’t love you any less // nat & alex wolff

photograph // ed sheeran

#Anonymous #request #answered #pat #falling in love #playlist #playlists #spotify #spotify playlist #songs #*mine #music #breakup #breakup playlist #love #love playlist #true love #real love

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fandomgirlz01 · 6 months

Note

👾 kiss, marry kill! (For the both of you since this is important information)

From Shrek, Lord Farquaad, Gingy, and Doris

(Mine is kill farquaad, kiss gingy, marry Doris, obviously!)

ALSO CONGRATS TO THE BOTH OF YOU 🎉 💚

{Faith} Oh my goodness my sweet sweet Kay, You absolutely never fail to make me just crack up in laughter. I adore you so so much. Anyway seeing as this is a VERY important question 😂 here is my answer.

Obviously I'd have to say... Marry Gingy Obviously because he's the sweetest (no puns intended... 👀😏),Kiss Doris only because I don't dislike her as much as I do we all know who 👀😒, and Kill Lord Farquaad and while I always admired him a little bit growing up, I mean he's a little person showing that you can definitely overcome obstacles that may seem to big for a little person (Ex: become king even when small and Conquer anything in your way...) That was a big thing for little tiny Faith to learn growing up. I always saw him as bad, but I definitely also admired that even though he was bad there was still a good lesson attached to his story and character in some awesome way.

Also Thank you my sweet sweet Friend, you mean the world to me. I'm so glad I've had you as an amazing support as a writer and a friend. You are one of my (not very) many people I can run to for both writing advice and life advice and that means the world to me. You are one of the many that push me to strive to be a better writer so THANK YOU. Can all of my readers and followers please please go over to her page and give her lots of incredible love?

{Nat} Omg I love this question lol. I honestly haven't seen Shrek in so long so I don't even remember these characters that well (don't kill me) except I always loved Gingy for some reason. So based on the pictures I'd probably say Kill Doris, Kiss Lord Farquaad and Marry Gingy.

#fandomgirlz01 #faithie and nat answer #faithie answers #nat answers #faithie girl answers #faithiegirlanswers #faithieanswers #natty answers #natty girl answers #nattygirlanswers #sleepover #fandomgirlz01 sleepovers #SO #faith and nat 1000 #1000+ celebration #1000 celebration

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biorusted · 7 years

Photo

Eyy *finger guns* its the love triangle that doesn’t even realize it is a love triangle

click for better quality my dudes

Set-- 1 -- 2 -- 3 -- 4 -- 5 -- 6

stuff under the cut

FIRST OF ALL: my dudes do you know how hard it is to draw someone upside down with greko-roman style clothes????

also, forgot Uriel’s nip piercings- whoops

ALSO- reading your guys’ tags makes my day 1000% better thank you for all the positive feedbacks you guys are a blessing <3 <3 !!!!!

Flowers:

Uriel: Lavender- devotion, distrust- luck, mistrust Wallflower-faithfulness- fidelity in adversity daisies- innocence, loyal, faith, cheer, simplicity, I'll Never Tell, I share your sentiment.

Raphael: Acanthus art or artistic; the fine arts; artifice Aloe grief Arbutus thee only do i love China Pink - my heart aches Lily (yellow) i'm walking on air, false and gay Love-lies- bleeding -- hopeless, not heartless Queen Anne's lace - magic, trust, and healing, steadfast love Rue- regret Wisteria- I cling to you

Zadkiel: Aconite (Wolf's Bane) - misanthropy CYCLAMEN - Resignation and Good-bye Hollyhock -ambition Lavender -devotion, distrust- luck, mistrust Narcissus - egotism, formality, stay as sweet as you are, self-esteem

Which ones should I do next?

The High Priestess- Natalie - done The Devil- Lucifer -done

The Star- young Luce -done The Moon- Michael -done

The Wheel of Fortune- Anthea- done The Hierophant- Gabe- done

The Empress- Sheila- done The Emperor- Ipos -done

The Chariot- Laila- Strength- Kristie (?)

Justice- Titus -done Judgement- Ragu- done

The Tower- soul Luce- done The World- god- done

The Sun- Uriel (wow)- done

The Hanged Man- Raph- done

The Hermit- Zad- done

Death- nat’s soul- done

Temperance- Joph (hehe)

The Lovers- Cham and Zoe

The Magician- shop keeper (?)

The Fool- Felix

#satan and me #thisiskindagross #which one should I do next?#ey #my art #tarot

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vovansupertv2019 · 4 years

Text

Транспондерні новини на 19 лютого

Транспондерні новини на 19 лютого Horizons-2 @ 85.2 ° East TiJi Russia (MPEG-4) з'явився на 12600 V DVB-S2 / 8PSK MPEG-2 MPEG-4 30000 2/3, Conax Irdeto3 Europa Plus TV пішов з 12600 V DVB-S2 / 8PSK MPEG-2 MPEG-4 30000 2/3 Intelsat 39 (62E) Новий SID для Radio Nama Kerman на 11009.00MHz, pol.V SR: 3500 FEC: 3/4: SID: 866 (PID: 2560 [MPEG-4] / 7012 Фарсі - Відкритий). Експрес-АТ1 @ 56 ° East HEVC Н2, HEVC Н3 з'явилися на 11765 L 27500, DVB-S2 / 8PSK, 3/4, HEVC Н-265, промінь AT-1 Wide Express-AM6, 53 ° East Radio Javan SD info card пішов з 12594 V 27500, FEC: 2/3, DVB-S, MPEG-2, OPSK TurkmenÄlem / MonacoSat (52E) TRT World HD, France 24 Eng HD пішли з 10887 V DVB-S / MPEG-2 DVB-S / MPEG-4 27500 2/3 TRT World SD, France 24 Eng SD з'явилися на 10887 V DVB-S / MPEG-2 DVB-S / MPEG-4 27500 2/3, відкрито RTA Sports HD повернувся на 10887.00MHz, pol.V SR: 27500 FEC: 2/3 SID: 17 PID: 1701 [MPEG-4] / 1702 aac (Відкритий). Hellas Sat 3 (39E) Duck TV відключений на 12647.00MHz, pol.V (DVB-S SID: 116 PID: 216/316 Англійська) TV Neptun відключений на 12524.00MHz, pol.V (DVB-S SID: 229 PID: 629/256 Румунський) Dolce TV: Нова передача почалася DVB-S VideoGuard: Nat Geo People (невизначена) на 12524.00MHz, pol.V SR: 30000 FEC: 7/8 SID: 209 PID: 3001/3002 Румунський. Eutelsat 16A @ 16 ° East TV Neptun пішов з 12643.00MHz, pol.V SR: 27500 FEC: 2/3: SID: 12 (PID 1200 [MPEG-4] / 1210 Румунська - Відкритий). Etno TV з'явився на 12643.00MHz, pol.V SR: 27500 FEC: 2/3: SID: 12 (PID 1200 [MPEG-4] / 1210 Румунська - Відкритий). Team: Media & Total TV: RTRS Plus кодований на 11262.25MHz, pol.H SR: 30000 FEC: 2/3 SID: 17 PID: 301 [MPEG-4] / 303 Боснійська (BISS). Hot Bird 13C (13E) Sky Italia: Нова передача почалася DVB-S VideoGuard: Sanremo на 11355.00MHz, pol.V SR: 29900 FEC: 5/6 SID: 15386 APID: 464. David Bowie відключений на 11355.00MHz, pol.V (DVB-S SID: 15386 APID: 464) Hot Bird 13E (13E) 2M Monde відключений на 11034.00MHz, pol.V (DVB-S SID: 1705 PID: 520/530 Французький) Передача JSTV Promo кодована Conax (12596.00MHz, pol.V SR: 27500 FEC: 3/4 SID: 8214 PID: 2011/2012 Японський, 2013 Англійська). IRIB JAMEJAM1. IRIB JAMEJAM2. IRIB JAMEJAM3 з'явилися на 10775 H 29900 Fec-3/4 DVB-S2 / 8PSK MPEG-4 відкр. Eutelsat 7 West A (7W) Нова передача почалася DVB-S Відкритий: Show Hakayat (невизначена) на 11411.05MHz, pol.H SR: 27500 FEC: 7/8 SID: 39 PID: 3902/3903 Арабська. Нова передача почалася DVB-S Відкритий: Bethel Television (Перу) на 10815.08MHz, pol.H SR: 27485 FEC: 5/6 SID: 43 PID: 835/1091. Новий SID для Show Cinema на 11411.05MHz, pol.H SR: 27500 FEC: 7/8: SID: 36 (PID: 3602/3603 Арабська - Відкритий). Nilesat 201 (7W) Lebanon TV з'явився на 12015.00MHz, pol.V SR: 27500 FEC: 5/6 SID 1305 PID: 1000/1001 (Відкритий). Новий SID для Test на 12015.00MHz, pol.V SR: 27500 FEC: 5/6: SID: 1314 (PID: 2113/2114 Англійська - Відкритий). Новий SID для Test на 12015.00MHz, pol.V SR: 27500 FEC: 5/6: SID: 1313 (PID: 1302/1303 Англійська - Відкритий). Новий SID для Test на 12015.00MHz, pol.V SR: 27500 FEC: 5/6: SID: 1307 (PID: 1300/1301 Англійська - Відкритий). Новий SID для Test на 12015.00MHz, pol.V SR: 27500 FEC: 5/6: SID: 1301 (PID: 2250/2251 Курдська - Відкритий). Astra 4A (4.8E) SIS + with BTC Audio передача без коду (12149.00MHz, pol.H SR: 27500 FEC: 3/4 SID: 136 PID: 910/902). G-Sat 15 @ 93.5 ° East DD Shillong пішов з 11090 V DVB-S / MPEG-2 29500 3/4 DD Meghalaya з'явився на 11090 V DVB-S / MPEG-2 29500 3/4, відкрито Maha Punjabi з'явився на 11550 V DVB-S / MPEG-2 29500 3/4, відкрито T TV пішов з 11550 V DVB-S / MPEG-2 29500 3/4 Intelsat 20 (IS-20), 68.5 ° E Нова передача почалася DVB-S Відкритий: Weep No More TV (невизначена) на 12562.00MHz, pol.H SR: 27500 FEC: 3/4 SID: 5 PID: 773 [MPEG-4] / тисячі двадцять дев'ять. Нова передача почалася DVB-S Відкритий: Neema TV (невизначена) на 12722.00MHz, pol.V SR: 26657 FEC: 1/2 SID: 123 PID: 256 [MPEG-4] / 257 aac. NHK Premium (Японія) передача без коду (3841.00MHz, pol.H SR: 29910 FEC: 2/3 SID: 31 PID: 1360 Отримати [MPEG-4] / 1320 Японський, тисячу триста двадцять дві Японський). NHK Premium (Японія) передача без коду (3841.00MHz, pol.H SR: 29910 FEC: 2/3 SID: 41 PID: 1460 [MPEG-4] / 1420 Японський, 1422 Японський). Heroes TV відключили на 12562.00MHz, pol.H (DVB-S SID: 2 PID: 770 [MPEG-4] / 1026 Англійська). Faithful City TV відключили на 12602.00MHz, pol.V (DVB-S SID: 6 PID: 774/1030). Intelsat 34 (55.5W) LAST Channel 34 відключений на 3846.00MHz, pol.H (DVB-S2 SID: 34 PID: 1041 [MPEG-4] / тисячу сорок дві) LAST Channel 33 відключений на 3846.00MHz, pol.H (DVB-S2 SID: 33 PID: тисячі двадцять п'ять [MPEG-4] / 1026) LAST Channel 32 відключений на 3846.00MHz, pol.H (DVB-S2 SID: 32 PID: 1 009 [MPEG-4] / 1010) LAST Channel 31 відключений на 3846.00MHz, pol.H (DVB-S2 SID: 31 PID: 993 [MPEG-4] / 994) Al Yah 1 @ 52.5 East Nat Geo Wild HD Asia, National Geographic HD Asia з'явилися на 12130 H DVB-S2 / 8PSK MPEG-4 27500 5/6, відкрито Star World HD Middle East, Star Movies HD, Baby TV HD Europe, Fox Movies Asia HD, Fox Asia HD, Fox Family Movies HD, FX Asia HD, Fox Crime HD з'явилися на 12169 H DVB-S2 / 8PSK MPEG-4 27500 5 / 6, відкрито Paksat 1R (38E) Champion TV UK відключили на 4037.00MHz, pol.V (DVB-S2 SID: 12 PID: 1201 Отримати [MPEG-4] / 1202 Англійська). Astra 2G @ 28.2 ° East Hum TV Europe з'явився на 11597 V DVB-S / MPEG-2 22000 5/6 Eutelsat 21B, 21.6 ° E CCTV 3 (Китай) передача без коду (10856.00MHz, pol.V SR: 30000 FEC: 1/2 SID: 3 PID: 203 [H.265] / 303 aac Китайський). CCTV 8 (Китай) передача без коду (10856.00MHz, pol.V SR: 30000 FEC: 1/2 SID: 7 PID: 207 [H.265] / 307 aac). SBN HD (Китай) передача без коду (10856.00MHz, pol.V SR: 30000 FEC: 1/2 SID: 14 PID: 214 [H.265] / 314 aac Китайський). Hunan Television HD (Китай) передача без коду (10856.00MHz, pol.V SR: 30000 FEC: 1/2 SID: 15 PID: 215 [H.265] / 315 aac Китайський). Jiangsu TV HD (Китай) передача без коду (10856.00MHz, pol.V SR: 30000 FEC: 1/2 SID: 16 PID: 216 [H.265] / 316 aac Китайський). Eutelsat 5 West B (5W) Sky Atlantic Italia передає через DVB-S2 на 12627.00MHz, pol.H SR: 35000 FEC: 2/3 SID: 140 PID: 5561/5562 Італійська, 5563 Англійська (Nagravision 3). FOX Africa повернувся на 4111.00MHz, pol.R 30000 3/4 (DVB-S2 SID: 1011 PID: 1102 Отримати [MPEG-4] / 1103 Англійська, відкрито)

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freedombyvanlife-blog · 5 years

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Hey, I'm Rissa! I'll be posting on here daily with Natalie & sharing our adventure with my 🐶 Swarley! Here is my van story 🚐 I'm 22 years young👵🏼 My 1996 Dodge Ram Van 🚐 was $1000, & runs like a beast! I spent $800 on the conversion including my solar setup & all the decor, so $1800 for everything! 💵 I was inspired to live the 🚐 life after getting screwed over by the system & getting mistreated by the people who are supposed to be "home. It forced me to open my 👀 to the fact that our society is broken. I kept telling myself, there's got to be something better than this. Our system is built to fail... and I wanted out. ⚖️🔥 What really inspired me to live the 🚐 life is ☀️🌻🌊🌴, gorgeous sunrises without dread, calming sunsets without feelings of failure, an entire 🌏 to call 🏠, & of course, my bff Nat who had the guts to blaze a trail. I lived the 🚐life a few years ago in the Chillmobile. This time around, I spent 6 months building my 🚐 & sleeping in it, but now I'm on month #1 of full-on living the 🚐life. I want to go everywhere the very most! .... Oh, except Utah! 😂 Anywhere tropical or jungly, or by the ocean is paradise to me! 🐬🦜🦎🌊🌅☀️🌈 I don't like that on my 2nd night, I got 2 parking tickets for the exact same offense: "vehicle habitation". 😭 But it's all going to work out. I parked in a burnt parking lot 🔥 I love that I finally feel alive! I love that I see colors again, and can feel again. I'm no longer numb and distracted and stressed. I can finally enjoy life the way we are meant to. I have time to try new things, live in the moment, and work on myself. 🏄🐕‍🏋️ My advice to people considering the 🚐life is that It's going to take a huge leap of faith and it's gonna be terrifying. 😵 But that just means you're close to finally being entirely free. You've just gotta do it! 🤘🌋 I know I'm probably just some stranger on the internet, but trust me. You will never look back! You are going to fall in love with life again!!! 💕🏂🏄🌅🌈🦋⛵ Also... Bring your dog along for the ride!! 🐩🐕 #vanlife #freespirit #hippy #hippie #nomadlife #nomad #van #adventure #adventure time #adventurer #freedom #minimalism #minimal #minimalist https://www.instagram.com/p/B4bCksLBJUFaB0cJOAnZpaQ4E6sHgBx3r_AMbA0/?igshid=1j9k1sczm4n5n

#1 #vanlife #freespirit #hippy #hippie #nomadlife #nomad #van #adventure #adventurer #freedom #minimalism #minimal #minimalist

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junker-town · 6 years

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A day in the life of an inveterate MLB gambler in 2038

What will happen when betting on baseball isn’t just legal, but incredibly easy?

Before the game

The security lines are long because President Grohl is attending the game, but the slow line gives me time to finalize everything. The Reds to win, of course. They aren’t going to pay off that big because they’re such heavy favorites, but they’ve been playing .700 ball for almost two full months. The Nationals ... not so much.

It’s everything else that takes some more thought.

The over-under on Kumar Rocker is five innings, and I go with the over. The second-time-through-the-order nerds wouldn’t approve, but Jay Bruce is something of a throwback manager, and he lets his veterans go deeper into games than most. It’s one of the reasons Rocker threw 150 innings last year, and he shouldn’t have a problem with this Nationals’ lineup.

Over-under on runs scored for both teams is 8.5, which is low, but I still take the under. Rocker has been one of the best pitchers in baseball for almost two decades now, and he’s actually getting stronger with age. The Nationals’ lineup is, like, eight guys they found at the bus terminal, but Hunter Hunter can pitch a little, so it should be a low-scoring game.

Over-under on strikeouts for both teams is 25.5, and I go over. Might be the easiest bet of the game. Rocker’s averaged 16 strikeouts per nine just on his own for the last two years, which is better than the league average, and Hunter’s no slouch there, either.

Over-under on home runs is 2.5, and I take the under. It’s been a while since I’ve watched a game with fewer than two homers, but I’m all in on Rocker. And Hunter, too, I guess.

By the time I’m in my seat with a hot dog, I’m feeling pretty good. Maybe I won’t need to pick up extra shifts after all.

First inning

This is a fucking disaster.

Rocker has nothing. It’s like someone showed him the painting in the attic, and now he’s pitching to his age. He’s throwing weak-ass 97-mph meatballs, and the Nats can’t miss.

After the third homer of the inning, I delete the slip with the homer prop bet. When Bruce trudges out to the mound before the inning is even over, I delete the other slip. I’d be willing to bet the Nationals haven’t scored six runs in the first inning in any game over the last 20 years, and now they’re pummelling a Hall of Famer? The exact asshole I put my faith in?

I scream at Rocker as he leaves the mound. Something about his wife, I don’t know, but it sure makes some heads turn. Not my proudest moment.

Counterpoint: Screw that guy.

Finn Raloit comes in, and you can smell the smoke coming from his shoulder. He throws one pitch — one — and it’s a 99-percent hit probability off the bat. Here comes the seventh run, and this stupid, stupid crowd is going nuts. They haven’t seen a game like this all season.

The next batter breaks his bat, and the crowd groans because the two-percent hit probability comes up on their screen at the same time. Except it falls. It falls right in front of that fat tub of Trout in left. The guy’s, like, 50, and I get that he’s still a draw because of the chase, but why can’t they just park him at DH? Why does Bruce keep playing him in the field? After the last out, I let Trout know about my opinions. More heads turn, and I get a warning notification. Looks like we got ourselves a narc.

In the bottom of the first, the Reds hit two dingers, screwing up the other bet, and I consider literally printing out the slips so that I can eat them. Just om nom nom nom, right down into my stomach, where the acid and bile will turn the bets into literal shit.

There’s still a chance that the Reds could win, I guess. The Nationals’ bullpen is just that bad.

Second inning

Not as bad as the Reds’ bullpen, apparently. The idiots. The absolute idiots. It’s 12-2 with two outs, and I want to throw up.

Let’s see ... $5,000 on the Reds to win, with $4,000 on all of the side bets. That’s $21,000. Two months’ rent, give or take. I message my boss about those extra shifts, and he responds in about five seconds to tell me they’re all filled. Even if you want more than the standard 80, you can’t get it. This is bullshit.

Third inning

Printing out the slips is harder than it should be. Just one kiosk in the stadium? When I was younger, there was one in every other section.

But I get it done, and I start taking bites. The chewing is pissed off and deliberate, and I don’t care who’s staring at me. Get down in my belly. Become the literal shit that you are.

Fourth inning

Drinkin’.

Fifth inning

The itch starts again. I can’t scratch it, I absolutely can’t. I know how this ends. The voices in my head aren’t as persuasive as they used to be, which is a good thing.

Then I start running through the different scenarios.

If I can’t get more shifts, there’s no way I’m making rent until the middle of next month. A three-day notice will expire on the ninth, and I know those assholes will file on me the next day.

I’m not calling my parents again. It’s humiliating enough when they actually give me the money, but they haven’t done that in years.

Everything I could sell is gone. The Playstation IX, the multipass, the embots, the microwave tower, the creepy-ass dog robot from Boston Scientific that used to keep me company and rummage through my drawers while I slept. I’m not sure if I could liquidate everything I own and come up with $10,000, which is depressing.

The only thing standing between me and a shelter is a hot streak. It’s the only way.

So I turn on the notifications for the Official MLB Wager app.

God help me.

Sixth inning

The trick is not getting overwhelmed. The only problem is that I’ve never managed this trick successfully.

PROP BET: WILL VLADIMIR GUERRERO III REACH BASE SAFELY (+150)

He’s just a child, but screw it, he’s hot. I look to the right of the screen, and the bet is on.

PROP BET: 1ST PITCH BALL? (+95)

He’ll get ahead in the count. I look to the bottom and adjust the bet to $1000, then look to the left and confirm.

PROP BET: RUN SCORES THIS INNING? (+160)

If you’re going to bet on a runner, you might as well bet on the run. And, shit, this makes me remember that all of the inning prop bets need to be in before the inning starts. Lightning round.

PROP BET: NUMBER OF STRIKEOUTS THIS INNING, MORE THAN ONE? (+110)

Yes.

PROP BET: NUMBER OF STRIKEOUTS THIS INNING, MORE THAN THREE? (+2000)

Ha, ha. Sure, screw it, swing for the fences.

MLB.COM WARNING: YOU HAVE PLACED FIVE BETS WITHIN ONE MINUTE. PLEASE ACKNOWLEDGE THAT YOU ARE AWARE OF THE RISKS OF GAMBLING, AND CALL 1-800-STOP-BET IF YOU BELIEVE YOU HAVE A PROBLEM.

Shut up, nerd. I scroll through the waiver and acknowledge.

PROP BET: ERROR COMMITTED IN INNING? (+200)

This is exactly the kind of bet a player can swing in a blowout without drawing any attention at all, especially the minimum-salary scrubs playing the garbage innings. Hell yes, I want to bet on an error.

PROP BET: WALK ALLOWED IN INNING? (+110)

Green-ass rookie on the mound. Yep.

PROP BET: OVER-UNDER ON GROUND-BALLS in play, TWO (+110)

Uh, crap, is Perez a sinker guy, or is he ... uh, fine, fine, yes, over.

Damn, too slow for more bets. The inning starts. The first pitch is a fastball right down the middle, and Guerrero doesn’t even pretend to be interested. Idiot.

PROP BET: 2ND PITCH BALL? (+95)

Yeah.

Guerrero swings at a pitch that bounces. Idiot.

PROP BET: 3RD PITCH BALL? (+90)

Sure.

It’s a ball. Finally. This is where it turns around.

PROP BET: BALL IN PLAY? (+120)

Yes.

Guerrero pops it up. So that bet hits, but the earlier one about reaching base is a miss, and they cancel each other out.

I’ve never even heard of this guy coming up to the plate.

PROP BET: 1ST PITCH BALL? (+95)

Sure ...

Seventh inning

PROP BET: 1ST PITCH BALL? (+95)

Yes. It’s a ball.

PROP BET: 2ND PITCH STRIKE? (+95)

Nailed it.

PROP BET: 3RD PITCH BALL? (+95)

Yes, and the hitter waves through a lazy breaking ball like an absolute asshole.

PROP BET: 4TH PITCH BALL? (+95)

Yes. Missed, dammit.

PROP BET: 5TH PITCH BALL? (+95)

Yes. It hits.

PROP BET: WALK ON NEXT PITCH? (+110)

Yes. But it’s fouled back. Idiot ...

Eighth inning

Cut off. Account empty. I use the cash in my wallet to buy a final beer. The strongest they have is 6.1 percent, which is about a third of the strength I’m looking for.

This is bad this is bad this is bad this is bad this is bad this is bad this is bad this is bad this is bad this is bad this is bad this is bad this is bad this is bad this is bad.

Ninth inning

A miracle.

Every day for the last two seasons, I’ll spend a few bucks on the MLB Powerball 10-Team Parlay, just for laughs. I pick the same teams to win, every time, unless they’re playing each other: Cubs, Royals, Astros, Pirates, Rays, Angels, Braves, Brewers, Indians, and Tigers.

It spells out “CRAP RABBIT.”

Which makes me laugh.

The odds are roughly .09 percent to hit on all 10 teams, which means a jackpot on a 10-dollar bet would be something like a 1,000 bucks. But today I put $100 on it. No reason, either. Was just feeling it.

All of those teams won today. Every single one of them. I’ve never hit on one of these.

I just need to find the slip.

The state lottery is literally the only place in the world that still prints shit out.

Why do they still print shit out? Idiots.

It’s not in my pockets. I check six times before I check another six times.

I know I bought one today. I always do.

I know I bought one today.

When I find it, hey, look at that, there’s another game tomorrow. And the day after that. And, well, there are like 1,000 games every year, and they can’t all be this shitty.

They can’t all be this shitty.

I just need to find the slip.

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stormhavenmedia · 4 years

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Authors note; As always follow the links and research on your own, believing random dudes on the internet is how we got here. Nothing in this should be taken as a reason to in any way hate any group. Racism is bad for you. My purpose here is to set the record straight and present the actual undisputed, but little known facts. Prejudice and Judgement are two different things.

“Who controls the past controls the future. Who controls the present controls the past.”

George Orwell

Recent years have seen the rise of Somali politicians in North America. The two most prominent examples being Ahmed Hussein, (Axmed Xuseen) Canadian Minister of Immigration during the first Trudeau government, and Ilhan Abdullahi Omar first term US congresswoman and famously leader of the progressive “squad”.

Both Xuseen and Ohmar have similar backstories. They were welcomed by Canada and the US respectively as refugees. Both were supported by generous social systems in their first years in their nations that saved them. I say “saved them” because under the legal definition provided by the 1951 Refugee Convention, to be considered refugees they could not have returned to Somalia “owing to a well-founded fear of being persecuted for reasons of race, religion, nationality, membership of a particular social group, or political opinion.” So if they were legitimate refugees then de facto Canada and the United States saved them from brutal persecution. Both were given every opportunity to succeed, and succeed they did. Both received high-end educations not readily available to much of the population. Both were elected to high public office that incredibly few citizens can aspire to.

Both Axmed Xuseen and Ilhan Ohmar have shown their immense gratitude by using every opportunity, and the full weight and very real privilege of their offices, to denigrate both societies with a literally endless stream of cringe-inducing epithets. The vitriol with which they assault the people and societies who sponsored them is incredibly vicious in both cases. Every “white” American and Canadian are brutal racists. We have no culture, no history of any note. Our home countries are merely constructs of “white-colonial-settler” supremacy. The societies that provided them with an elite education and elected them to high office, are according to them, irredeemable and inherently racist to their cores. This message is blasted into the national conscience by seemingly unlimited access to the corporate media, the odious CBC, academia and the utter adulation of the economic elite “woke” classes. Their views are even being heralded in the British medical Journal, The Lancet as scientific fact. The piece shown below generally asserts that all evil in the world, from slavery to colonization, originates with “whiteness” which must be swept from the earth.

Our Somali heroes/victims claim positions of moral authority due to the inherently superior non “white” culture that spawned them. Their history is not stained with the conquest and subjugation of the “other” as is all “white” culture. They hold themselves literally incapable of being racist.

They both site their adherence to Islam, the religion of peace, and thus cement their position as historical victims. Both like to lecture the inherently racist “white” citizens who elected them about the massive deficits in their culture, and their desperate need to end “white superiority” and “whiteness” itself in a vaguely genocidal incitement. Any dissent is met with furious tirades, and legislation, criminilizing Islamophobia.

What follows is a history both Ohmar and Axmed and the legions of the “woke” hoped you would never learn. Through deliberate and sustained action, our education systems have been manipulated over generations to ensure we forget our history. We are taught only the very selective facts those in power wish us to know. The warping of our education system has been very successful. I have a college level education and have studied history all my life yet much of what this was unknown to me. This has been a long game. It has allowed these two individuals, and many others to perpetrate some of the most epic gas-lighting in human history.

One culturally iconic feature of Somali culture and language neither Axmed Xuseen or Ilhan Ohmar have chosen to share with us putrid “whites” is the word “Jareer”. Jareer is an ancient Somali term of racist derision for the Bantu peoples, and anyone else they feel is racially inferior. Millions of Bantu people were hunted and sold in open slave markets in the ports of Zeila and Mogadishu for at least a thousand years. The fact is that Somalis were beneficiaries of the brutal Islamic wars of conquest that carved out the Maghreb wiping out the indigenous cultures. This meant they also enslaved Oromo and Nilotic people. Somalis had a much different impression of these groups. Their capture, treatment and duties of the two groups of slaves differed markedly, with Oromo favored because Oromo subjects were not viewed as racially jareer by their Somali captors. Both the use of the term Jareer and the deeply held, openly racist, views of the Somali population persist to this day.

In the 700 years immediately before Europeans came to Africa, Somalia was one of the centers of the brutally colonial Islamic Caliphates. The Somalis created an empire based on trading with the burgeoning Islamic world being carved out with the sword from the Indus Valley to Europe, killing millions between the rise of Muhammad and the beginning of the European Age of Empire.

Irfan Husain, Islamic scholar speaking about the muslim conquest of India that began around 1000 AD, “Demons from the Past”

“While historical events should be judged in the context of their times, it cannot be denied that even in that bloody period of history, no mercy was shown to the Hindus unfortunate enough to be in the path of either the Arab conquerors of Sindh and south Punjab, or the Central Asians who swept in from Afghanistan…The Muslim heroes who figure larger than life in our history books committed some dreadful crimes. Mahmud of Ghazni, Qutb-ud-Din Aibak, Balban, Mohammed bin Qasim, and Sultan Mohammad Tughlak, all have blood-stained hands that the passage of years has not cleansed..Seen through Hindu eyes, the Muslim invasion of their homeland was an unmitigated disaster.

“Their temples were razed, their idols smashed, their women raped, their men killed or taken slaves. When Mahmud of Ghazni entered Somnath on one of his annual raids, he slaughtered all 50,000 inhabitants. Aibak killed and enslaved hundreds of thousands. The list of horrors is long and painful. These conquerors justified their deeds by claiming it was their religious duty to smite non-believers. Cloaking themselves in the banner of Islam, they claimed they were fighting for their faith when, in reality, they were indulging in straightforward slaughter and pillage…”

Much of the lucrative merchandise the Somali Caliphs taxed were chained human beings. While Europeans were busy in their mud huts trying to stitch together the ruins of the Roman Empire, the Somali Caliphates were instrumental in the trafficking on some 12 million human beings. They then continued the practice for another 600 years after European contact, until the Italian colonial administration abolished slavery in Somalia at the turn of the 20th century. Somalia’s slaving empire had lasted over a thousand years.

I will rely on mostly African scholars where possible for historical and cultural contextual telling of this story in detail.

We begin with Nat Amarteifio; historian, and former mayor of Accra, Ghana’s capital. Speaking about the origins of Slavery

“There is a willful amnesia about the roles that we played in the slave trade……….The system already existed,” Amarteifio said. “The Europeans saw it. And thought: ‘Ah, we can try these people in our lands in the New World…..But Amarteifio says the Europeans weren’t going out and capturing Africans. They couldn’t — they got sick and died from illnesses like malaria. Some African ethnic groups went into business, warring with other groups so they could capture prisoners they sold as slaves to the Europeans. Amarteifio says they were organized and intentional about it. “To pursue slavery successfully, you need a highly organized group because somebody has to go out there — somebody has to locate the victims; somebody has to lead an army there; somebody has to capture them, transport them to the selling centers; all the time, keeping an eye on them to make sure they don’t revolt,” he said. “And then sell them, and move on.”

https://www.pri.org/stories/2019-08-20/willful-amnesia-how-africans-forgot-and-remembered-their-role-slave-trade

Sandra E. Greene. Anbinder Professor of African History at Cornell University Speaking on the origins of African slavery.

“Very few Americans know that slavery was common throughout the world as well as in Africa”, says Sandra E. Greene. Greene’s research focuses on the history of slavery in West Africa, especially Ghana, where warring political communities in the eighteenth and nineteenth centuries enslaved their enemies, and the impact can still be felt today. “Slavery in the United States ended in 1865,” says Greene, “but in West Africa it was not legally ended until 1875, and then it stretched on unofficially until almost World War I. Slavery continued because many people weren’t aware that it had ended, similar to what happened in Texas after the United States Civil War.”

https://research.cornell.edu/news-features/curious-history-slavery-west-africa

Senegalese Anthropologist, Economist and Author; Tidiane N’Diaye spoke to Silja Fröhlich at Deutsche Welle,

“According to N’Diaye, slavery has existed in practically all civilizations. This was also the case in Africa before settlers came….In central East Africa, ethnic groups such as the Yao, Makua and Marava were fighting against each other and entire peoples within the continent traded with people they had captured through wars. Thus Arab Muslims encountered already existing structures, which facilitated the purchase of slaves for their purposes…

..Back then, Arab Muslims in North and East Africa sold captured Africans to the Middle East. There, they worked as field workers, teachers or harem guards, which is why the castration of male slaves was common practice. Muslims, on the other hand, including African Muslims, were not allowed to be enslaved, according to Islamic legal views. Initially, the Arab Muslims in Eastern and Central Europe took white slaves to sell them to Arabia, ….But the growing military power of Europe put an end to Islamic expansion and now that there was a shortage of slaves, Arab Muslims were looking massively to black Africa.”

https://www.dw.com/en/east-africas-forgotten-slave-trade/a-50126759

The African Slave Trade to Asia and the Indian Ocean Islands,

In: African and Asian Studies

Author: Robert Collins,

01 Jan 2006 Volume 5: Issue 3

Speaking about the ancient origins of African slavery;

https://brill.com/view/journals/aas/5/3/article-p325_4.xml?fbclid=IwAR0bCEvWxYhemcUv4wQkwttRFfoXmJcE7W4OI6iDiQI2yQfCEDVIrLRmJ2s

Unraveling Somalia: Race, Class, and the Legacy of Slavery

By Catherine Besteman, 1999, University of Pensylvania Press, On Somali Identity and racial prejudice.

SOME ASPECTS OF THE ARAB SLAVE TRADE FROM THE SUDAN 7th — 19th CENTURY, Yusuf Fadl Hasan

Chairman, Turkish Studies Unit, U. of K., 2000-(Founding) Vice-Chancellor, University of Sharjah, U.A.E, March 1997-February 1998.President (Vice-Chancellor), University of Khartoum, 1985-1990. President, Omdurman Islamic University, 1984-1985. Deputy Vice-Chancellor, U. of K., 1983-1984.Dean, Faculty of Arts, U. of K. 1975-1979.Director, Sudan Research Unit, U. of K., 1965-1072.Visiting Professor at the Universities of London, Qatar, Mecca, Riyadh, Tripoli, Cairo, Ahmadu Bello, Mousil, Bergen and Aden

Sudan Notes and Records

Vol. 58 (1977), pp. 85-106

https://www.jstor.org/stable/44947358?seq=1

Speaking to the origins of Islamic Slavery

Slavery and Slave Trades in the Indian Ocean and Arab Worlds: Global Connections and Disconnections…Straight, No Chaser: Slavery, Abolition,and the Modern Muslim Mind

Bernard K. Freamon, Professor of Law Emeritus on the Faculty of Law, Seton Hall Law.

http://www.yale.edu/glc/indian‐ocean/freamon.pdf

Speaking about the denial toward its history of slavery in the Islamic world.

Some general historical perspective on the Trans Saharan slave trade and the enslavement of Europeans. 8th and 9th century AD

https://courses.lumenlearning.com/atd-tcc-worldciv2/chapter/transsaharan-slave-trade/

“During the 8th and 9th centuries of the Fatimid Caliphate, most of the slaves were Europeans (called Saqaliba) captured along European coasts and during wars.[2] However, slaves were drawn from a wide variety of regions and included Mediterranean peoples, Persians, peoples from the Caucasus mountain regions (such as Georgia, Armenia and Circassia) and parts of Central Asia and Scandinavia, English, Dutch and Irish, Berbers from North Africa, and various other peoples of varied origins as well as those of African origins. Toward the 18th and 19th centuries, the flow of Zanj (Bantu) slaves from East Africa increased with the rise of the Oman sultanate, which was based in Zanzibar. They came into direct trade conflict and competition with Portuguese and other Europeans along the Swahili coast.[3] The North African Barbary states carried on piracy against European shipping and enslaved thousands of European Christians. They earned revenues from the ransoms charged; in many cases in Britain, village churches and communities would raise money for such ransoms. The government did not ransom its citizens.”

Gwyn Campbell

The International Journal of African Historical Studies

Vol. 22, No. 1 (1989), pp. 1-26

Published by: Boston University African Studies Center

https://www.jstor.org/stable/219222?seq=1

Speaking to the fact that the Islamic slave trade carried on without puase all during the period of the Atlantic slave trade and was in no way displaced by it. Here they are speaking about the early 19th century.

An article pointing to some of the implications of the Islamic slave trade on African women.

https://newafricanmagazine.com/16616/

“While in the European “New W o r ld ”, the measure of a man’s stature was mapped out and calibrated on the physical dimensions of empire built upon the sinews of forced masculine labour, in the Islamic Orient wealth was a reflection of prestige, young girls the vessel of male h u b r is , the mats of male pleasure ground, the malleable material to be shaped to the master’s will.

Thus, women slaves in the Arab world were often turned into concubines living in harems, and rarely as wives, their children becoming free. A large number of male slaves and young boys were castrated and turned into eunuchs who kept watch over the harems. Castration was a particularly brutal operation with a survival rate of only 10%.”

“The combined effect of all these factors,” says Duncan Clarke, “was a steady demand for slaves throughout the Islamic world, which had cover story to be met from wars, raids or purchases along the borders with non-Islamic regions. Although some of these slaves came from Russia, the Balkans and central Asia, the continuing expansion of Islamic regimes in sub-Saharan Africa made black Africans, the major source.”

A paper discusing the modern reality of Somalia for non Somali’s

Mohamed A. Eno, Dean at St Clements University Somalia; Associate Professor of African Studies and Senior Faculty & Researcher in the English Department, ADNOC Technical Institute, UAE.

Mohamed H. Ingiriis ,Graduate student at Goldsmiths, University of London

Omar A. Eno ;Adjunct Professor of African History and Director of the African Migration and Development Research Program at Portland State University, Oregon, USA

Discrimination and Prejudice in the Nucleus of African Society: Empirical Evidence from Somalia

“The long silence of Somali studies toward what relates to prejudice, subjugation, and discrimination against the oppressed Bantu people in the country will be discussed before the conclusion finally wraps up the study with suggestions and recommendations for further research

During post-independence era and despite the repeated praise of the civilian regimes for democratic ideals, the Bantu Jareer (like the outcast groups) were not allowed to field their own candidate for parliament, not to think of cabinet post which was exclusively for Somalis . Often, bureaucratic barricades were used to shut them out at party nomination level. “The state and the SYL party feared that if a Jareer were fielded it would be difficult to defeat him in numerical terms; so they had to formulate strategies to deprive him at preliminary stages by every possible means,” comments Macallin Dhaayoow of Bandhowoow area of Xamar Jab Jab in Mogadishu.

Muuse Mocoow explains an episode which reveals how it was easier to scapegoat on a Bantu than any other person. “We have had situations in which we had to pay for crimes committed by others,” explains Muuse, a Bantu Jareer construction supervisor based in Jeddah, Saudi Arabia. “My brother and my uncle were arrested for construction materials their boss had stolen from the construction project of his ministry in order to use it for the building of his personal house in Booli-Qaran. His high ranking police kin told him that if anyone could be implicated as the culprit, then he wouldn’t be taken to the National Security Court for stealing public property. Because as Bantu we did not have anyone to stand for our right, we became sacrificial lamb for the crime of every culprit from the ruling clans,” adds Muuse as he gets emotional with tears rolling down his face. “This is one of the reasons why many of us [Bantu] left Somalia because there are no Muslims. The law doesn’t protect us; the so-called revolution didn’t protect us; nothing protects us unless we are absent from the land. That is what we did.” Muuse concludes with these pitiful remarks: “We are here in Saudi Arabia, aged, and will probably die here. It is sad; but because of what has been happening in the country for the past 20 years, there is nothing to go back to. They (Somalis) became much wilder beasts. No human can associate with them.” The account given by Xuseen Juma Shongole reveals an exemplary case of how even the state provided not only a leeway to expropriation of the property of members of the Bantu Jareer community, but actually practically participated in the looting of the fertile farms adjacent to the rivers. According to Xuseen: We woke up one morning only to witness our livelihood including mature crops and thousands of fruit bearing trees bulldozed to the ground. There was a number of heavy machinery equipment because the government had decided to build a sugar factory in the neighborhood and saw it in its benefit to dislodge us from the area in order to establish an enormous sugarcane plantation to supply the factory. To add insult to injury, the staff of the project told us that we should stop ‘crying over land’ and be part of the ‘waged workforce’ that would be employed to work on our state-expropriated farms. That action told us that our livelihood was not important to the government and that the governor who was representing it was very cruel, arrogant and irresponsible.” In order to contribute to the argument related to the theory of heterogeneity of the Somali people rather than the untenable, old concept of homogeneity, we intend to highlight a distinct community that has been and still is the victims of persecution, prejudice and discrimination under the veil of the concept of egalitarian Somalia. The group is the Bantu Jareer ethnic community which, related to its African origin, is “permanently removed from the social boundary of Somaliness ” (Kusow 2004:)

Modern Islamic Slavery

Africa is one of the few places on earth where slavery still persists. In fact African countries were some of the last to actually make the practice illegal. Muslims are once again trading Jareer slaves in open air markets in Tripoli, Libya

“The footage released by CNN appears to show youths from Niger and other sub-Saharan countries being sold to buyers for about $400 (£300) at undisclosed locations in Libya…..These modern slavery practices must end and the African Union will use all the tools at its disposal,” Mr Conde said.”..

https://www.bbc.com/news/world-africa-42038451

“Thirteen anti-slavery campaigners were sentenced for up to 15 years in prison in Mauritania last week, for their role in a protest aimed at denouncing the practice of slavery in the country. The government tribunal found members of the Initiative for the Resurgence of the Abolitionist Movement (IRA) guilty of various counts, including attacks against the government, armed assembly and membership of an unrecognized organization. Mauritania is the world’s last country to abolish slavery, and the country didn’t make slavery a crime until 2007. The practice reportedly affects up to 20% of the country’s 3.5 million population (pdf, p. 258), most of them from the Haratin ethnic group

For centuries, the black Haratins have been caught in a cycle of servitude enforced by the …..descendants of Arab Berbers.

https://qz.com/africa/763470/the-last-country-to-abolish-slavery-is-jailing-its-anti-slavery-

activists/

There Are 46 Million Slaves in the World — Here’s Where They’re Found

A chilling reminder from the Global Slavery Index.

Somalia remains 6th on the Global Slavery Index

An index measuring strength of response against slavery. Canada rates very high Somalia not so much.

Somalia is a failed state. I will not engage in argument here about why it persists in being so since its independence.

Somalia’s population has grown exponentially in the last 40 years despite having no viable economy or government. The country and the U.N. decry its lack of ability to support this level of population growth. Now while the countries of the west like Canada, which without immigration has a steady or declining population already, are exhorted to stop having children, yet no such admonition is given to the loyal followers of Islam.

https://www.worldometers.info/world-population/somalia-population/

While there is still slavery practiced by Somalis it just doesn’t bring in the big bucks like it used to. Many enterprising Somalis have turned to piracy on the high seas. Success has been mixed thanks in part to the Royal Canadian Navy.

youtube

They have thus far been unable to base their economy on piracy in the same way as slavery and it has made the country less than attractive as a port.

Somalis have also become enthusiastic about once again subjugating their African neighbors to Islam and one imagines this is providing some limited employment. This should be viewed as part of an unbroken thirteen cenutry push to impose the will of Alaah on their fellow human by any means.

From a BBC report

https://www.bbc.com/news/world-africa-15336689

“It emerged as the radical youth wing of Somalia’s now-defunct Union of Islamic Courts, which controlled Mogadishu in 2006, before being forced out by Ethiopian forces.

There are numerous reports of foreign jihadists going to Somalia to help al-Shabab, from neighboring countries, as well as the US and Europe. It is banned as a terrorist group by both the US and the UK and is believed to have between 7,000 and 9,000 fighters. Al-Shabab advocates the Saudi-inspired Wahhabi version of Islam, while most Somalis are Sufis.

It has imposed a strict version of Sharia in areas under its control, including stoning to death women accused of adultery and amputating the hands of thieves.”

Al Shabab executed the passengers of a bus

Al-Shabab’ Somali Jihadists have been welcomed 2020 with lots of Jihad

NAIROBI, Kenya (AP) Jan 18, 2020 — At least two people were killed and more than 20 others wounded when a suicide car bomber targeted a construction site along a highway outside Somalia’s capital, police said Saturday. Six Turkish nationals were among the wounded, with two in serious condition, Turkish Health Minister Fahrettin Koca said. The Turkish construction workers appeared to be the bomber’s target, Somali police Col. Abdi Abdullahi said. Most of the casualties were police officers providing security for the Turkish workers constructing a highway between the capital, Mogadishu, and the agricultural town of Afgoye, 30 kilometers (18 miles) north of the city. The al-Qaida-linked al-Shabab extremist group, based in Somalia, claimed responsibility for the attack, according to the the group’s radio arm, Andalus. Al-Shabab often carries out such attacks in and near Mogadishu. Turkey has invested heavily in Somalia, with technical and development assistance exceeding $1 billion, according to the Turkish government. Turkish companies run the international airport and seaport in Mogadishu, and in 2016 the Turkish president inaugurated Turkey’s largest embassy complex in the world there.”

https://www.keloland.com/news/national-world-news/at-least-2-killed-20-wounded-in-bombing-near-somali-capital/

NPR, December 28, 2019…A truck bomb in Somalia’s capital, Mogadishu, killed at least 79 people today. More than 100 were injured. It was the worst attack in the city in two years, and the country’s president has placed the blame on the Islamist group al-Shabab”

https://www.npr.org/2019/12/28/792088722/somalia-bombing-kills-at-least-79

Critical Threats Project 2019 assesment of Al-Shabab capabilities and intentions

https://www.criticalthreats.org/analysis/al-shabaab-area-of-operations-october-2018

“Al Shabaab holds territory surrounding the capital, Mogadishu, from which it coordinates complex attacks targeting the Somali Federal Government.[5] Increased counterterrorism pressure may have reduced the overall volume of attacks in Mogadishu, but the city is not yet secure.[6] Key al Shabaab sanctuaries persist in central Somalia, especially in Lower and Middle Shabelle regions, and in southern Somalia in Bay, Gedo, and Middle and Lower Jubba regions. Al Shabaab is able to project force from Somalia and safe havens along the eastern border with Kenya to attack Kenyan security forces and soft targets in Kenya’s Mandera, Wajir, Garissa, and Lamu counties.”

https://www.criticalthreats.org/analysis/al-shabaab-area-of-operations-october-2018

In closing I would set straight a couple of facts about Canada and slavery.

Slavery has been part of all human cultures. It is in the earliest records we have. Europeans were the first Empire in human history to have abolished it. Canada as a Nation State responsible for our own affairs was formed in 1887. Slavery was abolished throughout the British Empire in 1833. No human being has ever legally been brought into Canada as the possession of another human being. In fact the colony of lower Canada, now Ontario, and its Canadian political class with the avid support of its citizens were at the forefront of the abolitionist movement. In 1793 the Act to abolish slavery was passed in the Upper Canada legislature

John Graves Simcoe, Lieutenant Governor of the colony, had been a supporter of abolition before coming to Upper Canada; as a British Member of Parliament, he had described slavery as an offence against Christianity.[2][3] By 1792 the slave population in Upper Canada was not large. However, when compared with the number of free settlers, the number was not insignificant. In York (the present-day city of Toronto) there were 15 African-Canadians living, while in Quebec some 1000 slaves could be found. Furthermore, by the time the Act Against Slavery would be ratified, the number of slaves residing in Upper Canada had been significantly increased by the arrival of Loyalists refugees from the south who brought with them servants and slaves.[4]

At the inaugural meeting of the Executive Council of Upper Canada in March 1793, Simcoe heard from a witness the story of Chloe Cooley, a female slave who had been violently removed from Canada for sale in the United States. Simcoe’s desire to abolish slavery in Upper Canada was resisted by members of the Legislative Assembly who owned slaves, and therefore the resulting act was a compromise.[2] The bulk of the text is due to John White, the Attorney General of the day. Of the 16 members of the assembly, at least six owned slaves.[5]

The law, titled An Act to Prevent the further Introduction of Slaves and to limit the Term of Contracts for Servitude within this Province, stated that while all slaves in the province would remain enslaved until death, no new slaves could be brought into Upper Canada, and children born to female slaves after passage of the act would be freed at the age of 25.[6]

This law made Upper Canada “the first British colony to abolish slavery”.[5][7] The Act remained in force until 1833 when the British Parliament‘s Slavery Abolition Act abolished slavery in most parts of the British Empire.

Chief Justice of Upper Canada William Osgoode followed up 10 years later

“In 1803, Chief Justice William Osgoode placed on the law books the ruling that slavery was inconsistent with British law. Although this did not legally abolish slavery, 300 slaves were set free in Lower Canada (the future Quebec). Citizens who wanted to bargain in the slave trade had no protection from the courts. The decline of slavery took place in Upper Canada as well. The short growing season and cost of feeding and clothing slaves, along with abolitionist sentiment stirred by Simcoe, caused more and more slaves to be set free. Future lieutenant governors of Upper Canada, like Sir Peregrine Maitland, continued the humanitarian spirit of Simcoe and offered Black veterans grants of land. The desire to stamp out slavery in Upper and Lower Canada was so strong that an application from Washington, D.C. to allow American slave owners to follow fugitive slaves into British Territory was flatly denied. Judges who favored abolition were handing down more and more decisions against slave owners; as a result, when the British Imperial Act of 1833 abolished slavery throughout the British Empire, very few slaves remained in Upper and Lower Canada.

The decades after 1833 saw an increase in abolitionist sympathizers as the fugitive enslaved increased in number and found freedom in Canada. Anti-Slavery Societies also increased. George Brown, founder of the “Globe and Mail” newspaper, and Oliver Mowat, a future premier of the province of Ontario, joined the Toronto Anti-Slavery Society. At the first large and enthusiastic meeting at City Hall, it was resolved that “Slavery is an outrage to the laws of humanity and its continued practice demands the best exertions for its extinction.” The Society further declared that they would raise money to house, feed, and clothe the destitute travelers. Weeks and months spent making their way to freedom took a toll on the bodies and minds of the enslaved. Many died along the way. Still, thirty thousand (a conservative estimate) reached Canada between 1800 and 1860 according to the Anti-Slavery Society. Often upon reaching freedom, former slaves would kneel down, kiss the ground, and thank the good Lord that they were free, and then they would build churches for their spiritual growth and development, as well as that of future generations.”

http://www.pbs.org/black-culture/shows/list/underground-railroad/stories-freedom/abolition-slavery-canada/

By way of comparison Somali Sultan Yusuf Mahamud Ibrahim (1798 – 1848), the third Sultan of the House of Gobroon ruled Somalia. He was victorious during the Bardheere Jihad, which ended with the Baardheere Jamaaca being destroyed and the city of Baardheere being burnt to the ground. Somalia during his entire reign was shipping hundreds of thousands of chained Jareer Bantu slaves all over the Muslim world leaving the Sultan counting his gold.

Somalia remains today a dystopian failed state desoite sustained efforts of the African Union and International actors. Its failure is driven by deeply ingrained racism and clan rivalry. Somalia’s disintegration was not caused by its brief European colonial period. Unless you want to argue that ending slavery was the sole cause of its downfall. Somalia’s current state and any hope for its future lies soley in the hands of Somali’s. I truly do wish them the best.

The truth is that neither Axmed Xuseen and Illhan Ohmar, nor the brutal xenophobic Somali society they originate from have anything to teach anyone about tolerance or morality. Anything they know about pluralistic society they learned here in North America.

Axmed and Ilhan have been working a very deft con on all of us. They are not the descendants of slaves, they are descended from some of the most brutal slavers the world has ever known. Somalis are not in any way the victims of history. Somalis are among its most stubornly unrepentant perpetrators.

William Ray

Somalia; A Racist Islamic Slave Empire Authors note; As always follow the links and research on your own, believing random dudes on the internet is how we got here.

#Ahmed Hussein #Axmed Xuseen #Canada Politics #Ilhan Ohmar #Liberal Party of Canada #Mp Ahmed Hussein Canada #Politics #Somali #Somalia #Somalia Slavery

0 notes

pauldeckerus · 5 years

Text

Photographing the Fake Holy Men of Varanasi, India

“Where should we go?” Melissa, my girlfriend, was trying to narrow down what seemed like a mountain of possibilities-places that were worthy of exploration. After a month of repeating that same question a million times, we finally settled on India.

Why? Throughout my 8-year career, I have seen such an overwhelming amount of photography. I have studied the greats in both photojournalism and commercial portraiture. Out of the millions of photographs, many of the ones I remember most vividly were from India. Every time I listened to top photographers speak, it seems like they all mentioned the same thing: how incredible and unexplainably magical India is.

Eventually, it was these comments and the related work that I love so much, that drove me to insist we go there.

Our goal was to stay in as few places as possible and go deep, instead of trying to see everything. We wanted to find a story, but didn’t want to go there with expectations and decided to figure out what that story would be once we arrived.

India is a massive place, and picking just a few locations was difficult, but one we settled on was Varanasi because of the many incredible portraits and accompanying stories about Sadhus: religious people who renounce worldly possessions and embark on a spiritual journey with the goal of reaching ‘moksha’, or spiritual liberation.

We booked our flights and accommodations and prepared for our trip.

I had always been excited to see the Ganges, or ‘Mother Ganga’ as it’s affectionately called by many followers of the Hindu religion. You see, the Ganges River is not just seen as a river, but as a holy and sacred entity. From where it rises in the Western Himalayas to its end-1,600 miles away at the Bay of Bengal-it is worshipped. Despite this, the river is highly polluted and the level of fecal coliform (E. Coli from human waste) is over 100 times the official government limit around Varanasi. Imagine my surprise when we arrived in the middle of the night and peered out our bedside window at a man bathing in it. As we realized the next day, this is extremely common.

The streets of Varanasi were packed with both animals and humans. What smelled like a mix of diarrhea and bleach permeated the air as heavily as the ashes of the dead. Varanasi, formerly Benares, is over 4,000 years old, making it one of the oldest cities in the world. Much like the Ganges that it sits upon, it is sacred. The most sacred city in Hinduism and Jainism, in fact.

Hindus believe that to die there is to break the cycle of life and death, or to reach ‘Moksha’.

As a result, Hindus will travel from around the world to Varanasi as they (or their loved ones) age or fall ill. When the person dies, a family member will purchase wood that is placed along the Rivers edge. The body is placed on top of this wood pile and burned in the open. This is happening 24/7, 365. To walk along these ghats is to accept the ashes of the dead falling upon you.

Some things are harder to get used to than others.

From a visual perspective, the city was incredible. People toiling and working and laughing and smiling and swimming. It was all so striking. The character in people’s countenance was apparent everywhere we went.

Throughout my 8 years as a photographer, I’ve photographed a variety of content. As I matured in my work, I focused my efforts on environmental portraiture and knew I wanted to reflect the strength of my skill in this area within my portfolio. After seeing so many great photos of Sadhus taken by artists that I respect, I wanted to create some strong photos of these holy men. This was a large motivation for going to India.

I began wandering the ghats. There were many Sadhus.

After an hour or so of scouting, I approached a Sadhu who I thought had a particularly strong look. I sat down and had a good conversation with the man. Eventually, I asked if he would allow me to photograph him.

“500 rupees!” he demanded.

I was a bit shocked. As I mentioned at the start of this blog post, Sadhus relinquish all worldly possessions-including and especially money- in pursuit of spiritual liberation.

I explained to the man that I was there as a photojournalist and that to pay anyone or accept payment for a photo would compromise the integrity of my work and would, therefore, be unethical. I simply wanted to honor and document his culture. He made a motion with his hand, shooing me away. I happily obliged as an austere Sadhu would have never asked for money.

No problem. There were many more Sadhus in the area.

I approached one, then another, and another. They all demanded payment to take a photo of them. I can understand some Sadhus-like in any religion-not being as devout as others, however, I would not expect every Sadhu I approached to disregard one of the core tenants of their faith.

That night, we went back to our hotel confused and frustrated. I asked the gentleman at the front desk whom I had befriended over the previous days, “What am I missing?”

“Those are fake Sadhus. They are not real. They dress in a Sadhu’s clothing and grow dreaded hair in an attempt to fool foreigners into giving them money for photos. All of the real Sadhus are up in the mountains, and tend to avoid people.”

Suddenly it was starting to make a bit more sense.

There are many great photographs of Sadhus that have been taken over the years. I pulled out my phone and showed my new friend a few photos of these Sadhus. I asked if he knew where I could find REAL Sadhus like the ones I was showing him.

“Most of the men in these photos are not Sadhus. These are the same homeless men dressing up and fooling tourists that you saw today. I can take you and show you tomorrow.”

“Wait, so you’re saying many of these Sadhus aren’t legitimate?”

“Yes.”

Oh. No big deal. Didn’t travel from the opposite side of the planet to find real Sadhus or anything…

…I couldn’t believe it.

I can see how what happened to me might have also happened to other photographers.

You think you are coming for one thing and discover it’s not what you thought. You realize you came around the world, spent your time, money and resources only to realize you are looking for a ghost. So you just take what you have, photograph the “fake” Sadhus and Aghori and continue to perpetuate the false narrative so that you can still come out with a ‘win’ and appear more legitimate. More ‘Nat Geo’ if you will. I just can’t do that.

The next morning, Melissa and I went out for some breakfast. On our way there, we were passing the ghats where they burn the bodies. A man stopped us and asked us to wait out of respect for a ceremony that was taking place. Despite being frustrated from the night before, we waited. and waited. and waited. While doing so, the man started to discuss the ceremony and tell us everything we already knew about what was going on. Eventually, my hunger got the best of me and I told him that we were just going to go up and around the entire ghat in order to not disturb anyone.

“1000 rupees!” he demanded. He actually expected us to pay him because he spoke to us for 10 minutes.

Unbelievable. Even the funerals weren’t off limits. At that moment, I felt like Varanasi was like a Disney theme park-all the characters dressed up imitating something it once was — a well-oiled machine, with its only legitimate truth being to extract money and scam people. Had he no shame? What kind of person is willing to stand on the backs of dead bodies in order to try to guilt and obligate someone into paying them money?

“Not happening.”

After eating our usual crepe filled with Nutella, we discussed our next move. It was then that we realized that we hadn’t lost our story, but gained one. We decided to spend the rest of the trip photographing these “fake” Sadhus to show just how legitimate they can appear. Knowing we wanted to write this story, we needed to show you examples of the Sadhus standing along the River asking for money in exchange for posing for a photo. Their attire and appearance is representative of how they looked when we found them:

Finally, it was time for us to journey back to Brooklyn. The gentlemen we made friends with at the hotel insisted on carrying our luggage a quarter mile back to our taxi. I admired their hospitality and hard-working attitude. This seemed to be a theme across all of the hotel workers and restauranteurs in India. I was happy to end our trip with this sentiment in mind.

45 hours after our plane took off from Varanasi, after many delays, a Kuwait police officer being more blatantly sexist than I’d ever seen in my life, and awesome airport lounges (thanks Chase Sapphire Reserve), we were back in Brooklyn. The whole flight back, thoughts kept racing through my head;

What does it mean to be a “real” anything?

How can we know ones true beliefs? Often, we struggle with answering this question for ourselves.

How closely do we need to follow our faith to be considered legitimate?

How much responsibility do we have as photographers, journalists, and travelers?

Does the tourist or naive photographer and the ‘fake” Sadhu deserve one another? Are they both not giving the same level of effort and depth towards their journey and commitments?

We want to go learn and empathize with another culture. We want to tell their story, and give a voice and platform to people who might not already have one. But we also want to be recognized and appreciated for providing that insight, doing something many aren’t willing to do. To find the truth. To find something real. Maybe that’s truly what we’re searching for. Something 100% authentic and pure. Maybe that’s the most important question of all;

How far do we have to go to find something real?

How much do our own expectations play into our idea of what that is?

If finally confronted with it, could we accept the truth even if it didn’t fit into our expectations?

This blur between legitimacy isn’t only present in India. There are monks in a Buddhist temple that are constantly over-charging for entry. Tribes in Ethiopia that set up near major roads and dress in more dramatic make-up than is typical of their village located a few miles away-all to gain more money from tourists. Young members of the Jewish faith going to Israel for ‘Birthright’, a program created to deepen their understanding of Jewish heritage, only to party in Jerusalem and Tel Aviv. Sexual abuse being perpetrated by Catholic priests.

There are a lot of important stories that need to be told, but this line of thought drives deep into human nature and truth itself. Something more timeless that goes beyond what we want to be and asks who we actually are. A string that I feel is worth tugging on, despite the wormhole that might ensue. So with that, I’m beginning a new series that will be titled, “Only God Knows.”

Now that I’ve had a couple months to reflect on our trip to India, I realize how much I’ve grown from it. It was so dirty, yet beautiful. Everything seemed fake but was so real. Humbling and rewarding.

There were many parts of the trip that I didn’t enjoy, but in a way, it was everything I wanted it to be.

You can’t really define India or put it in a box, and trying to understand why I want to go back again is enough to drive me crazy…

But hey, I guess I’m just drawn to the irony in India.

About the author: Gavin Doran is a Brooklyn-based photographer best known for his cinematic portraiture and dynamic lifestyle imagery. The opinions expressed in this article are solely those of the author. You can find more of his work on his website or by following him on Facebook and Instagram. A longer version of this post was also published here.

from Photography News https://petapixel.com/2019/02/01/irony-in-india-photographing-the-fake-holy-men-of-varanasi/

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sailorrrvenus · 5 years

Text

Photographing the Fake Holy Men of Varanasi, India

Eventually, it was these comments and the related work that I love so much, that drove me to insist we go there.

We booked our flights and accommodations and prepared for our trip.

Hindus believe that to die there is to break the cycle of life and death, or to reach ‘Moksha’.

Some things are harder to get used to than others.

I began wandering the ghats. There were many Sadhus.

“500 rupees!” he demanded.

I was a bit shocked. As I mentioned at the start of this blog post, Sadhus relinquish all worldly possessions-including and especially money- in pursuit of spiritual liberation.

No problem. There were many more Sadhus in the area.

That night, we went back to our hotel confused and frustrated. I asked the gentleman at the front desk whom I had befriended over the previous days, “What am I missing?”

Suddenly it was starting to make a bit more sense.

“Most of the men in these photos are not Sadhus. These are the same homeless men dressing up and fooling tourists that you saw today. I can take you and show you tomorrow.”

“Wait, so you’re saying many of these Sadhus aren’t legitimate?”

“Yes.”

Oh. No big deal. Didn’t travel from the opposite side of the planet to find real Sadhus or anything…

…I couldn’t believe it.

I can see how what happened to me might have also happened to other photographers.

“1000 rupees!” he demanded. He actually expected us to pay him because he spoke to us for 10 minutes.

“Not happening.”

What does it mean to be a “real” anything?

How can we know ones true beliefs? Often, we struggle with answering this question for ourselves.

How closely do we need to follow our faith to be considered legitimate?

How much responsibility do we have as photographers, journalists, and travelers?

Does the tourist or naive photographer and the ‘fake” Sadhu deserve one another? Are they both not giving the same level of effort and depth towards their journey and commitments?

How far do we have to go to find something real?

How much do our own expectations play into our idea of what that is?

If finally confronted with it, could we accept the truth even if it didn’t fit into our expectations?

There were many parts of the trip that I didn’t enjoy, but in a way, it was everything I wanted it to be.

You can’t really define India or put it in a box, and trying to understand why I want to go back again is enough to drive me crazy…

But hey, I guess I’m just drawn to the irony in India.

source https://petapixel.com/2019/02/01/irony-in-india-photographing-the-fake-holy-men-of-varanasi/

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