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#fellas I am still on my shit
greaseonmymouth · 1 year
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Vasketøj (1452 words) by nerakrose Fandom: Afdeling Q | Department Q (Movies) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Assad/Carl Mørck Additional Tags: Fasandræberne, denne gang har jeg IKKE blandet filmtitlerne sammen, starter der hvor filmen slutter, Developing Relationship, Family Dynamics, Father-Son Relationship Summary:
Hej Carl, siger Assad’s bløde stemme i røret. Hvad er der?
Jeg ville bestille noget mad, siger Carl. Vil du spise med. Det er mig og Jesper.
Jesper ryster på hovedet men han smiler lidt, og Carl tænker, det er ikke helt galt det her. Assad er stille i røret en tid. Jeg henter mad, siger han, bestemt. Jeg er der om en halv time.
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got so into my laughingstock feels that i burnt my fuckign toast
#shit was Black#literally was in my kitchen Wailing about them and forgot the bread slices i put in the toaster oven three seconds prior#s'ok i made a new set but oughhhhhh i am still sooooooo so unwell about them....#OUGHHHHHHH THEMMMMMMM#theyre just... snf.... theyre just two silly goofy guys in love....#silly goofy fruity fellas and they love each other <3#SIDE NOTE GINGER SPREAD ON HONEY/BUTTER TOAST ABSOLUTELY FUCKS TRUST ME ON THIS#absolutely unprompted#but yea i was specifically thinking about that fic i have in my head#yall know the one by now. the one i desperately want to write and I SWEAR I WILL EVENTUALLY#but the fuckin... Misunderstanding... it makes me insaneeeee#its the most unhealthy part of their relationship AND THEY ARENT EVEN IN A RELATIONSHIP YET#damn theyre so healthy. theyre so. wails screams howls#but howdy being an oblivious idiot to his own emotions is so important to me#mans is whip smart & quick in every other area#but in this One Subject hes dumb as a rock & that hurts both of them <3#but it also turns into something they can cry w/ laughter over later#someone asks how they got together. they exchange a look. and burst out howling#full on wheeze-laughing Cannot Form Words#y'see most couples would have some lingering 'i cant believe you did that' and/or guilt#but barn & howdy would just find it hysterical. full on 'remember when you-' 'yeah lmfao'#THEYRE SOOOOOO <3#yknow if i ever find someone i want to have a partner-esque relationship. i want to have what laughingstock has#i do genuinely believe that howdy might have feelings for barn#but i like to live in the delusional world of my mind where they're Established <3#grabbing them and slamming them together like a violent 5 yr old playing with dolls#kiss! kiss damn you!
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steakout-05 · 1 day
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i was so brave a couple days ago. there was a baby huntsman spider in my room and i totally didn't fumble trying to catch it 3 entire times while trying to lure it in and out of a box all while screaming and going "whAT THE FUCJ WHAT" whenever it moved even a little bit. in which the reason i was trying to catch it was because it randomly appeared on a box right next to my bed and i knew if i didn't catch it i wouldn't be able to sleep. nope. totally wasn't genuinely frightened by a tiny itty bitty little guy that could literally fit in the palm of my hand 15 times. whaaaat me? scared by a tiny little spider??? psh no wayyyyy man no way
(after i did this i was slightly shaken up and extremely worried there was another much bigger one in my bed and i felt like there were bugs crawling on me until i fell asleep)
#local australian man terrorised by very harmless tiny insectoid creature that is so small it would otherwise be almost unnoticeable#(ok tbf huntsman spiders aren't ''harmless'' per se but they wouldn't bite you unless you really provoked them to. still tho. harmless)#also the spider is ok :)#i captured him in a jar and put him outside and he has now burrowed himself in a potted plant <3#he's actually really adorable but the problem is that i am TERRIFIED of spiders so i was just like#switching from going ''hi little fella you're so cute can you please get in the jar''#to going 'wgAT THE FUCK HOLY SHIT'' every time he got scared and moved#this is the closest i have ever gotten to touching a huntsman spider ever#weirdest thing is that i think this spider was in my room before. like i found a baby spider a couple weeks ago and here it is again#i thought it just like. vanished and went somewhere else as spiders do but he was apparently in my room the whole time........#but yeah. i have like. the weirdest inner dilemma with spiders#cause like. i like spiders. but i'm also very scared of them. but they're cute. but they're also very visually distressing.#but they're helpful creatures to keep in your home. but they're also very sneaky and could jumpscare you on accident#and also i don't want to have a spider in my room because what if i don't know that it's there and it gets hurt.....#my room is so messy and i'm so clumsy that i'm afraid i'd hurt the poor thing unknowingly#i love spiders but i also have like 10 layers of fear keeping me from getting close to one#like that encounter was the closest i've gotten to a huntsman spider. apart from the bathroom jumpscare incident#spider#huntsman#huntsman spider#arachnophobia#also update: the big huntsman that was living in the kitchen is back.....#he's ok though he can stay there#he's a good bug catcher and i love him :)#he's very dusty and gangly and strange i love him very much#he scares me sometimes but he is my little buddy
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psalmsofpsychosis · 2 months
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Some Batman: Telltale thoughts
[this is a Batman Telltale critical post, ye be warned.]
So. There are perhaps no words in the english language to describe with how stupid i feel right now.
I started Telltale Batman because i thought that it's one of the more distinct unconventional Batman narratives that would let you have a more interesting, complex and nuanced relationship between Bruce and Joker— the game even lets you bring all of Bruce's sincere hypocrisy and sentimental selfishness to the surface and have him admit that yes, he can fight the rogues gallery because it takes a madman to know a madman; to love a madman. For a moment i geniunely thought that i can escape the everpresent shadow of DC hays code in the freakshow funhouse that is Batman comics, i thought Telltale had done something different.
But telltale's approach to The Enemy Within is so flaky and flimsy and timid at best— such noncommittal twist on themes of pain and grief. They take on a hefty plotline, "what does it take to actually fight through evil and be surrounded by it? How long does it take before your resolve and your selfhood cracks? When you lose the mask, which one did you truly lose— The ideal persona, the superhero, the crusader, or the person underneath, the casket that holds all your humanity and your heart and your hopes? How long can you stare onto the abyss before it stares onto you?" It's indeed a very Nietzsche approach to Batman— except that a good Nietzsche narrative takes a lot of intentional plot points and honesty of thought and of heart. And Telltale doesn't commit, not to Bruce's characterization, and not to any other character, and definitely not to Joker's journey in any variation of it. The existence of the Vigilante route is useless on every front; Joker is going to turn into a villain anyway, just with a different hello kitty eyeshadow palette and an extra bland consolation lollipop. No good choice Bruce makes on Joker's behalf affects anything whatsoever, and i particularly love the "community and friendship and sympathy do not help the mentally ill and all that ever works is punishment and shock therapy and confinement and loneliness" message the vigillante route puts on the table, charming charming status quo commandments from DC as always.
Telltale Batman could only be revolutionary if it had dared to break comic convention and let the vigillante route play out like Selina and Bruce's relationship always does; very grey morality, irrational, full of tension and trust, unstable, intriguing, inexcusable, irreversible, unavoidable and heartfelt, human. But we can't have nice things in batmanverse, so both Joker routes run on stuck gears and topple and fall into a predictable narrative hole that neither Bruce nor Joker can claim out of.
And on the predictable front? this story is too lukewarm to be a good time for me personally. When you get 84 Batman comics per minute every other Tuesday, all ending the same way no matter whatever the fickity happens inbetween, you have to pull no punches. This is my 53368532th Batman-with-tragic-batjokes-implications read of the week, say something new or forever hold your blue-balling silence, i dont care.
#Like. season 2 starts to become a fucking mess from episode 2#Tiffany?????? the Tiffany twist was so bad i can't??????#30 SECONDS TO THE END ROLLS AND ALFRED FUCKING PENNYWORTH DECIDES TO DITCH BRUCE???? LIKE ARE WE TALKING ABOUT THE SAME CHARACTER??????#I chose Bruce to leave his Batman persona behind in order to keep Alfred because 1) batworth agenda lmao and#2) i knew it'd make absolutely zero difference in the narrative like. bitch you're not gonna introduce a plot point this big#10 seconds before the game ends. you're just not doing that#that's literally 58 comic volumes worth of plot#But also I FUCKING LOST SELINA!!! SELINA MY BELOVEDEST!!!! JUST TO SAVE JOHN!!!!!#DC status quo is my villain origin story fr#tumblr made me think that in telltale batman you can actually save the Joker and have an intricate interesting dynamic with him#what with all the choices letting you bring to light how Bruce is just a human after all. like everyone else#not good by nature; but good by deed#but you will still lose the Joker no matter what choices you make. holy shit.#Someone on reddit was like “this is how Bruce feels in comics; putting all his goodness and faith in the Joker and still watch him fall''#and fucking christ i feel gutted like a good ol' wild salmon#but anyway yeah; i feel so insanely betrayed holy fucks. Telltale could understand Selina as a complex faulty villainy character#but god forbid if we try to humanise Joker.#anyway i have decided that i do not percieve Telltale Batman 😌🌸 i am at peace i do not see it Telltale Batman will be long gone#and only i will remain. (i'm keeping the batcat and the Alfred&Bruce relationship though; might replay to get the full batcat experience)#but also; IMAN AVESTA THE TRUEST MVP LMAOOO#i will have fellas know that Iman means faith in persian;#combined with her last name she's the original node to Zoroastrianism in The Eneny Within#long before Riddler's obsession with “speak no evil see no evil hear no evil'' comes to the surface#it was such surreal experience; watching her switch into persian halfway in on the call with her mother ❤️#i was like :O !!!!!!#and anyway: everything the supposed better written Villain route did Gotham fox season 5 episode 7 ''Ace Chemicals'' did better#and i'm not taking criticism 😌🌸 at least in Gotham the characters are allowed to scream and cry#Farimah talks Batman: Telltale#batman telltale critical#batman meta
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whysamwhy123 · 11 months
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Hoo boy, I am still inexplicably trying to make this dumb, trashy Ricky/Christian thing happen, even though no one wants it, no one will read it and I am not equipped to handle it. But...it's fuuuuuuuuun. Even though I'm sure it sucks. I haven't written the smut because LOL, I never do. Maybe I'll try and circle back to it or maybe I'll just do my usual fade to black. But even so...there's some real self-indulgent, gratuitous stuff here so far, despite the lack of actual smut. Who is this for exactly? Other than me? Why am I doing this?
*chants while glaring at myself in the mirror* SHAME. SHAME. SHAME.
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bobzora · 6 months
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the list of akechi animatics i still want to make has increased to 3.when will the madness end
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narwhalandchill · 4 months
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btw hi hello still not abt to fucking . Forget NOR Forgive what they called this dashing summonable mofo in the earliest version of the english beta (& when i say the potential lore implications here are fucking Massive If that initial desc wasnt just old ass outdated lore text and actually happens to have Anything at all to do with the storys current iteration and intended direction. i MEAN that shit) so like yeah actually . yes i did post abt it back then as it happened. but im gonna talk abt it again i literally Must . speak my Truth
readmore as usual if u dont want leaks (well. its literally the outdated beta text desc of a TCG summon but . Well .) but like. i am 100% serious when i say this shit has Literally been rent free since then and the fact that the next beta update removed it in favor of calling that dude a bland ass "dark shadow" is just Genuinely my villain origin arc i want to SCREAM
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LIKE. WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK . IM GOING TO TEAR MY HAIR OUT I JUST . AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
IT KILLS ME. IT KILLS ME. IM DYING IRL
WHAT FUCKING NEMESIS!??!?!?!?!?!?
#and like i knoooow i knooooooooooow its not actual verifiable lore for now bc shit changes from beta to live#and esp on the lore front shit has had major changes . this could be an old fucking thing that bears no significance#on what the story is Actually going for now. with the narwhal#EXCEPT ITS STILL LIKE. BUT THEY WROTE THAT FOR A REASON.#THAT WAS THE INITIAL DRAFT FOR A REASON. SO WHAT DOES IT MEAN WHAT DOES IT MEANNN#did they remove it because its no longer accurate????? or bc its information we arent supposed to HAVE yet? out in the open this explicitly#Surely. Surely. Surely. Surely.#also like . i am kinda obsessed w the fact that im p sure im like#the only fucking person#whos so obsessed w the narwhal that i just fucking SPEEDRAN my way to the FIRST version of the TCG kit for my beloved#the SECOND it went up. bc this change came FAST. it was like only a DAY. maybe 2. from when i first screenshotted this like AYO???#and the CRIME of them removing it like.#i might just Actually be the only living proof in here of. thsi fucking desc ever existing for the dark shadow 💀💀💀💀#i remember shadow of the ancient nemesis pre-irminsul............................................................#anyway . lets just say i have many fucking thoughts abt this nemesis guy but uhhhh maybe some other day#or maybe never given its just. lore in limbo its schrödingers lore#but like. either its surtalogi in which case confirmed fucking beef and i do NOT trust that fucking guy at all anymore and have proof for i#or then its ajax' previous incarnation in which case. the levels of toxic dysfunctional destined soulmate shit these two are on i. HELP#fellas how bad is the situationship when youre the destiny of the other etched into the stars whose traces he carries with himself#and the shadow guarding your core and the birthplace of the world that will be created within your stomach is modeled in his image#but youre. STILL. fucking stuck maiming each other on sight what the hell what the fuck. potentially for multiple lifetimes. unreal#AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH#but like Dude why did they change it man.................#genshin#rambles#narwhalposting
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ruohosta-nauttija · 9 months
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Holy shit i just experienced the most wellwritten naruto fic ive ever seen my brain doesnt even have words i tried ro compliment the authro but all my brain could come up woth was amazing and holy shit i have been my brain is completely in shambles
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Turns out it burns a lot of energy to have a total mental breakdown and then just come back to work the next day like nothing went wrong
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tytonnidaie · 1 month
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the most dangerous part of having a pet au that u never seriously work on except think abt it to ur writing playlist as u drive is that. you develop it. and it gets better. and then you really really want to write it. and you're in danger
#laughs in 5 ongoing fics#to be fair. i started them in 2019 and have updated them only like twice#so my readers know i am very slow#however thats why i can only talk abt this on this blog. bc if those guys find out im indulging other ideas i will get#well. nothing. nobody talks to me and only like 5 people actively keep up with me#but i will disappoint those mutuals and have to commit seppuku#anyway its precisely bc the bnha ending was so milquetoast that i have evolved this stupid fic#ah yes the story abt the children suffering due to the wrongs of the adults and trying to fix or burn the world and dying for their parents#ends with... nothing changing#and in fact. the parents get redeemed where the children must die#however. a story where that happens AGain however the main weapon of the children against the system is the reanimated no1 hero?#yeah.......#children who are hurt and angry and have the power to do something serious about it is my fav shit. sorry#and u know who has to fix it all and burn it all down properly this time? the guy with severe issues.#fellas is it gay to fall in love with your best friend and rivals reanimated corpse who came back wrong#however its still the closest you'll ever get to having him back#but you cant tell him you love him bc he;s not the same. he's not the one you've always loved#and then loving him as the monster they turned him into feels wrong but you do it anyway#he died for the system you're upholding even if its wrong. what are you supposed to do#now he is literally destroying that same system. do you choose your boss or do you choose the guy that used to know u the best in the world#i havent decided yet. i got distracted by the tragedy#anyway th story is that our protagonist ends up in possession of the reanimated hero bc of a quirk mishap kind of#and to curb his aggression to anyone that isnt the protagonist . they get him to play league of legends#bc he can vent his violent tendencies without anyone actually getting harmed. and accidentally becomes a ranked player#he doesnt eat or sleep so all he does in the handful of hours the protagonist has to crash is absolutely wreck shit online#“hey can i come over and see our friend who came back wrong?” “no the sight of a human will send him into a kill spiral.#however you can play video games with him as long as u dont mind getting killed a million times."
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mo-ok · 5 months
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Goggle V ep.45 vs Dynaman ep.24
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mrfoox · 2 years
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I've done it again (acted like an lovestruck fool infront of my friends)
#miranda talking shit#Im so embarrassed i hate myself i wish i didnt react this way im making people uncomfortable im making things hard#Had a looooong talk with Fabian#6... Hours? Its 3.30 am now jajfnxjskskdkcjkd#It wad great i talked way too much unfortunately but alas. And at the end ... I had previously mentioned that evening that i#Find it better or easier to see people so i can know how they react. I hate being seen but seeing others i like and it helps me understand#Them. So the last 30-40 min he all of a sudden turned on his cam and i couldnt deal. I cannot deal#A sudden change like that when its 3am? I cant be normal. So i was stuttering and giggling and just being unable#To talk. And he just ... Sat there and was chill. And when that happens i get worse bc i realize how much embarrassed i am so yes#And he just ... 'you became so giggly' YES SO DID YOU 'yeah true'#I hate this part of myself bc usually ... Its my ... My crush is around and ya know im embarrassed bc of that so i act weird#But now it was like... Im still embarrassed but its not the same but im acting the same basically and i... Youre gonna think about it too#I react so fucking strongly to everything and its weird like please! Anyone who saw or heard me would assume i have the worst crush on him#In reality i got an crush on another guy and i just got so embarrassed bc im tired and yeah... Doesnt help he is the calmest calm guy to#Ever calm. I know for a fact i react worse when i can see others arent bothered... Im scared... Fellas im scared ... I have fucked up#Hes going to be weirded out now ... I am screaming help#Its bad enough i have acted this way around people i genuinely have a crush on... At least i.. Mean if they can tell i mean i am at least#Honest. I understand people in my past who have bullied me in these situations it must be hilarious#Having a chick go from yeah ok we can talk and joke and be alright to... I-i-i-i ca-cannot ta...t-t-t-talk#I wish i could say i was faking it too. No I literally stop myself many times and try to start over but my voice just shakes and#My brain is like 'haha... Mushy mushy what do we say ' end me#Fabian#'vad fnissing du blev nu' JA DET BLEV DU MED 'jo det är sant'
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steakout-05 · 29 days
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something that had always been really frustrating for me when i was still in math classes in school was trying to watch the teacher actually work the problem out on the board and still not understanding wtf was happening. for some context, i heavily suspect that i have some form of dyscalculia because math and numbers literally do not compute properly in my brain. it'd be too long to explain the full extent of my possible dyscalculia here but math literally does the mental equivalent of maxing out the CPU power and memory of a computer to the point where it freezes and lags to my brain.
math class was always stressful for me because no matter what i did and how much progress i made, there was always a lack of understanding i had when it came to trying to work any math problem out long term and remembering anything. it felt like there was always something i was missing, so when the time came for the teacher to explain and go through a math problem step-by-step on the whiteboard, i made sure i paid as much attention to it as humanly possible as child-to-teenager me could muster and even then i still did not understand how the fuck they solved it, all because of one thing: the teacher pulling a random number completely out of their ass that happened to be the key to solving the problem.
like. i don't think i can illustrate how frustrating and isolating this was to experience with words alone. here i was, paying as much attention as i physically could, trying my damned hardest to memorise each individual step and calculation in order to understand how to get from point A to point B. everything made perfect sense up until the teacher suddenly stops for a second and writes a seemingly completely unrelated number there with no context as to why it's there in the first place, and then, in that singular moment, everything immediately comes crumbling down and i'm left completely confused. and somehow, everyone else around me perfectly understands it except me. like. imagine sitting there, giving the teacher all the attention you possibly could, literally watching and studying their hand movements just to understand every single step, only to be even more confused than your classmates, who you're pretty sure were half-asleep during the explanation, who also say they understand how the teacher came to that conclusion. what. the actual fuck.
when i try to explain how infinitely confusing and irritating this was for me, i'm reminded of a quote from that video Patricia Taxxon made about DHMIS: "The rug is pulled again ... There was never any hope of following the thread, understanding is impossible.". even when i was literally trying my best to possibly follow anything that was happening, the rug still gets pulled out from under my feet and i'm sent all the way back to square one of not understanding a single thing and being confused again. all because the teacher didn't explicitly explain how they got that random number that was apparently singlehandedly necessary for solving the equation and where they got it from, apart from that place being from literally fucking nowhere.
it's really no wonder that i eventually stopped giving a shit about paying attention in math class, because even when i was, it was still daunting and incomprehensible as always. why bother trying anymore when trying still gets you nowhere? trying to ask the teacher where they got that number from was an impossible to understand task as well, as their either snapped back with a "well you should have been paying attention" (even though i WAS but whatever) or they do explain that they added the first two numbers from the equation together or something, but now i'm wondering why they didn't just explain that in the first place like they did with everything else instead of seemingly just assuming everyone would know to do that.
by the way, if i had to give an estimate, my math ability is probably still at like. a 5th grader's level at best. so uh. yeah it's not good. still, it is kinda funny to me though, not only because i do find a bit of humour in the situation, but also because some people are often so quick to judge someone's intelligence purely based on their mathematical abilities alone. like. the idea of someone calling me dumb for still needing to do addition with my fingers despite the fact that my reading and language levels are considered above average is really funny to me lmaooo
#dyscalculia#math anxiety#i was NOT having fun in math class when i was still in school loollll#to this day i still don't know all my times tables#i just know the essential ones like my 2s 5s and 10s#the others i only really partially remember but i still can't actually do beyond multiples of 12#like i partially know what they are but i can't actually DO them in my head without needing to sit there for a minute or two#i can't do quick maths. i just can't do that. there are too many numbers to keep track of and count at once to do quickly.#like i can't just conjure up a number like a fucken genie like other people seem to do. i need to like. actually count first#i hate quick maths games so much dude. it's so stressful. i physically cannot keep up with it and it's really frustrating and unfun#it's the same when people tell me to do an equation really quickly. like first of all fuck you#and second of all my brain WILL short circuit#anyway yeah this is a vent#making this not rebloggable for that reason..... sorry fellas#i'm still hoping other people with dyscalculia may find this relatable or cathartic#god how that particia taxxon quote strikes my very soul so so much.....#the entire video is really good but that quote specifically. holy shit#understanding is impossible. that is how i feel. that perfectly explains how i feel about math. understanding is impossible. wow.#i feel like data repeating ''i am not less perfect than lore'' to himself about that quote. understanding is impossible.#that is how i have felt about math for such a long fucking time oh my god#understanding anything to do with math and numbers feels impossibly incomprehensible for me.#basic concepts make sense. i understand how the four basic operations work. i just can't understand much else from that.#too many numbers overflow my brain#it takes literal actual power to be able to do one sheet of equations for me#i might not even finish it just because it's so difficult and uninteresting for me#i'm rambling again auahgh. the basic point of this post is that i don't understand math and math teachers don't understand how to make-#-any basic fucking sense. apparently. anyway yeah official steakout dyscalculia coming out post (i probably have it)#(i'm not diagnosed yet but i'm 80% sure i have it)#(the other 20% is me gaslighting myself) (augh)
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petew21-blog · 3 months
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Stop the bullying
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Aiden was your typical straight bro, just lifting and pumping his body with his bro in the campus gym and in the afternoons playing football. He still couldn't let go of his high school ways of bullying people, so he tormented them even here in college.
How could people let him? Well he was a jock and a very favourite nephew of the dean and everytime a problem occured, the dean very efficiently solved it by punishing the other student. Efficient right?
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That was until Aiden and Tom tormeneted yet another one of his gay classmates just right outside of the parking lot by beating him right next to one of the cars. What Aiden didn't know was that a very well known stoner was sitting on the other side.
Trevor was incredibly stoned, but not that much to save one of his fellow classmates. He entered the scene slightly confused what was happening
Trevor:"You guys would mind stopping this shit? It's interrupting my meditating session"
Aiden:"Get lost stoner or you're next"
Trevor:"I don't want to be rude, but I have to warn you. If you won't stop, I'll have to stop you myself" Trevor took of his beanie threw it on the ground and carefully placed the lit joint next to it
Aiden:"Just shut the fuck up already" and threw a punch at Trevor. Trevor only smiled and didn't even flinch. Maybe it was because of the fact that he knew the ounch would go right through him and it would be the needed thing to let him possess Aiden. Trevor got sucked in right in front of the other two guys. It took him a while to position himself
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He woke up to the the sight of schocked Thomas and the poor gay fella on the ground trying to cover himself
Trevor positioned his cap on the head. "Ahh, you guys just left the gym right? Man, he reeks so much." and sniffed his new armpits obssesively. Then he took off his shirt, throwing it next to the gay guy and just examined his new torso. Smiling and touching his new chest and abs. That's when his eyes widened as he saw the joint on the ground slowly burning away. "Oh no. Can't let it go to waste!"
Thomas just kept staring with his mouth wide open.
Trevor leaned closer to Thomas and started talking:"I'm not sure you understand the situation that'sd happening here right now Thomas. But if you don't want this guy on the ground to take your body next, I suggest you keep your motuh shut about all of this and run away"
Thomas looked back only once as he was running away from his friend, or was he somewhere in there still? He might never know
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Trevor reached out his hand to the guy on the ground:"It's safe now, man. Promise that this arm won't hurt you anymore."
The guy hesistated but than took his hand. He stood up, painfully grunting and holding his stomach.
Trevor inhaled the smoke from the joint and asked the guy:"So... what's your name man? You're ok?"
"I'm Martin, I... I think I am ok. So... Are you...? Who are you?"
"Well my name is Trevor, or Aiden now, I guess. haha. And don't worry I won't possess you. It's a power I use only when I think it's helping others, or.... when I need to get some confiscated weed. You wouldn't believe how much the police has stashed. And how ripped some of them are haha"
Martin was checking out Aiden's body as Trevor was enjoying his smoking, getting in the mood more rapidly than he was used to in his own body. Martin noticed the beanie lying on the ground. He tried to reach it but it was still painful. Trevor noticed and grabbed it himself
"Haha, I think Aiden will have a much needed style change. Gone are the days of the jock, in with the chill"
"So... Trevor? You can actually make other people possess someone?"
"Yes, sir. Who do you have in mind? I would be very happy to let you pick someone, but... morally I would be happier if it would be someone not very honest."
"Well... there is this girl in my class, Samantha and she is a total bitch. Just like Aiden. Would you let me possess her?"
Trevor:"Samantha? You wanna possess a girl? But I thought you were gay, man."
Martin:"Yeah, well that's the thing. Her boyfriend is Marc, the quarterback. And I had a crush on him since forever. I don't care if I am a girl or a boy. As long as I am with him."
Trevor:"Well, as you wish sir"
vv
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Trevor did as he promised and than went on as his day would normally go. Not like he had anything planned anyway. His phone kept buzzing about Aiden's football pracitce, but he didn't care. His destination now was the locla skatepark. To Trevor, the swap meant a few things: he now had a stable flow of cash, he was hotter, he was fitter and he didn't have to worry about his future anymore
When Trevor finished with his skating he got the courage to enter Aiden's home. He was welcomed by Aiden's girlfriend who he then went on to have a very wild sex in the bed. Trevor didn't mind that she was a girl, just one of the few perks of being a bisexual. You get a much bigger dating pool.
Trevor let his new girlfriend sleep next to him and right as he was in the bed, he proceeded to lit up another of his joints he grabbed on the way.
Naked, high on weed and exploring his body. Enjoying the hard dick in his hand. Inhalimg the musk in his armpits. He couldn't get enough. He kept jerking off, thrusting his hips while caressing the muscles with the joint in his hands. So tight and compact. Everything was his now. The whole world was
The girlfriend woke up, schocked about the stateshe found him. Still jerking and smoking weed. She kept shouting about something but Trevor only heard himself saying:"Close the door behind you when you're leaving" and still kept jerking off.
And as she left, he unleashed streams of cum and shot up right up to his face. "Damn, Aiden. You cum a lot. I love this"
The months went by and the ex-straight ex-jock ex-bully was no a very newly transformed stoner, skater, but still maintaining his beatiful muscularity, bisexual man, who now kept dating and screwing a few women and men. Who knows how Aiden's feeling right now, right? Maybe he would enjoy the fuck that his body is high right now fucking a beautiful girl. Maybe he wouldn't really enjoy that his body had a huge dick in his ass. Who knows
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Another story request from the inbox: Hey love your work! Thoughts on having a tough straight college jock getting possessed by a bisexual stoner/skater, enjoying his musk & muscles and becoming a laid back weed smoking himbo?
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the-laughing-lunatic · 5 months
Text
Scout x reader who's never been to a baseball game before (ROMANTIC)
(I was bored and wrote this, I actually have been to multiple baseball games before but my ass still doesn't know anything about it. Reader's gender neutral as always. Trying to get better at writing oneshots so have this ig :/ Word count: ~1400)
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ─── 
It was strangely calm that day, it was one of the occasional days off that the mercs had. You sat on your bed, reading through some random magazine you’d picked up here or there when your boyfriend Scout barged in. “Hey doll!”
You continued flicking through the pages of the magazine, not flinching. You’d gotten used to this after a year of knowing him and two months of dating him. The door might as well not have existed at this point. “Yes?”
“Wanna go to the game today? With me?” he said, flashing you two tickets in his hand.
“What kinda game?” You looked up.
“Only the best game to be created,” he said with a smirk. “Baseball.”
You shrugged. “Sure, I don’t have anything else to do—” you barely got out before you were tackled with a hug by Scout, your magazine falling somewhere on the bed as you were wrapped up in his arms. “Jesus, you’re that excited, huh?”
He only chuckled and kissed your cheek. “Hell yeah I am! I get to have my two favorite things, baseball and you, dollface.” 
You roll your eyes and give him a kiss on the cheek back, relaxing into his arms for a moment as you soak up his warmth. “...wait, am I below baseball?”
“Uhh…”
ੈ♡˳
“Bye Engie! Thanks for the ride!” Scout yelled out as Engineer drove away in his pickup truck, leaving the two of you to the sea of people waiting to get in despite the insufferable heat. 
“Geez, are there normally this many people at these things?” you said as you held onto Scout’s hand to not lose him as you walked to the back of the line for the ticket booth.
“What, ya never been to a baseball game before?” he said with a laugh. It was a rhetorical question from his perspective, but not for you. 
“No.” Scout’s jaw dropped. 
“W- whaddya mean you’ve never been to a baseball game before, w- why? How?” In his mind, baseball was the most amazing game in the world, and it was simply a crime that the most amazing person in the world had never seen it.
You shrugged. “Just never did.” Scout was full of feelings about this. On one hand, you were his dollface and it hurt that you had been deprived of one of the greatest pleasures life could offer. On the other hand, he got to be the guy to introduce you to your first baseball game, which had the same significance as a first kiss. In his mind at least.
“D’ya at least know the game? Like, how it works?”
You thought for a moment before saying: “Um, you hit balls and run a lot?”
Hoo boy. Scout sighed. “I mean- you ain’t wrong but ya ain’t right. Listen doll, so there’s nine guys on each team, right? And one of the guys is the pitcher for the inning. The pitcher, he’s the fella who . . .”
ੈ♡˳
“. . . and then the outfielders, once you have those fellas you can get somethin’ called a line drive where it hits right to ‘em without touchin’ the ground–”  
It had twenty non-stop minutes of Scout explaining the entire concept of baseball to you, and if you heard another way a ball can be thrown you were gonna snap. You took his face in your hands and kissed him before another move could be explained. 
His ears flushed red and he froze for a moment after you pulled away. “Uh, what was that all about, doll?”
“I love you but if I hear another word about baseball I’m gonna lose it. Can I just watch the game with you and enjoy it that way?” you ask. 
“Fine, fine—” he cuts himself off as the two of you are both hit with the realization. You said I love you. Shit, shit, shit shit shitshitshit!
Before you can stammer out a sorry or any other form of explanation, the woman in the ticket booth says “Next!” and you’re left to panic while Scout gives her the tickets.
We’ve only been dating for a few months, is that weird to say? It must be, he didn’t say it back. Maybe he didn’t hear me? No, he definitely heard me. Oh god, I fucked this up bad, fuck—
“Hey dollface, she said we can go in, c’mon,” he said with a smile, squeezing your hand and leading you into the stadium. You two found a spot in the bleachers, luckily under the shade of an awning. You nervously bounced your leg as you prepared for the game to begin.
He’s not treating me any differently, maybe he’s just gonna ignore that I said that. Please, god just ignore it. 
“Geez, real anxious to see the game, huh doll?” he said to you with a smile.
“Yeah, yeah.” Maybe this would all be okay, another normal date. Just ignore that gross feeling in your gut and it’ll be fine.
ੈ♡˳
It was not all fine. Everytime the word ‘love’ came out of Scout’s mouth you couldn’t help but feel a growing annoyance. And he said it a lot.
“Man, I love that guy!”
“ —fuckin’ love this hot dog—”
“Love the view, right doll?”
It’s like he was rubbing it in. The gross feeling, the loud noise and the tight packed crowd all teamed up to give you a headache. Great. You distracted yourself from the feeling by leaning into him and eating your popcorn, desperately trying to understand the game in front of you. Maybe you should have listened a little more to your boyfriend’s explanation. “You cold dollface?
“Nah, just tired and have a little headache, ‘m fine,” you said as you popped another piece of popcorn in your mouth.
He wrapped his arm around you so you could have more support. “We, uh, don’t have to stay if you don’t want to, y’know. It’s the bottom of the fifth if you wanna get out of here.”
“No, no, it‘s fine, gotta stay for my first baseball game. Besides, isn’t that rude to just leave?”
“Naw, it’s fine. ‘S pretty normal not to stay the whole nine innings for your first game. ‘Sides, I don’t want you to feel like shit. We could go to a game some other time, how’s that sound?”
You smiled softly. “Sounds perfect.”
“Good, now c’mon,” he said as he picked you up in his arms to carry you out of the stadium.
“Jeremy, my head is the thing that hurts, not my legs. I can still walk, you doofus,” you laughed. He kissed your forehead. 
“Whatever you say, sweetcake, but I’m still carryin’ ya.”
ੈ♡˳
It was dark out, and Jeremy had just finished calling Engineer on the pay phone while you sat on a nearby bench: Scout’s jacket draped over you. Only a few people milled about, leaving to their cars underneath the street lamps.
Jeremy sat down next to you, reaching to hold your hand. “Engie’s gonna be here in ‘bout ten minutes...you alright doll?”
You delicately took it. “I dunno…”
“Did anything happen?”
“I mean, kinda? It’s stupid though, dunno why I’m getting so focused on it.”
“Can you tell me?”
You took a deep breath and looked at the concrete. “Well, I don’t know if you actually heard me, but earlier I accidentally said that I love you. I- I mean, not accidentally, I do, but it just, y’know, slipped out.”
“I heard you doll,” Scout said, tilting your face up to look at him.
“Then why didn’t you say anything? I mean, I get if you don’t love me yet, I’m not gonna blame you, but just say something.”
“I didn’t say anything because I didn’t know if you were bein’ serious, doll,” he said, scratching the back of his neck. “Y’know, you’re amazing and sweet, and almost every time I’ve liked someone this fantastic they’re just with me for laughs.”
“Jeremy…we’ve been dating for two months, did you really think that I don’t care about you?”
“Well I mean, two months right. I kinda thought you would’ve already said ‘I love you’ by now, so just- I dunno. . . do you actually love me?”
“Of course I do, Jeremy, I just was nervous because I thought I said it too early,” you said, leaning closer to him, looking at how his face caught the light of the street lamp.
“I love you too,” Scout said with a dorky smile before pulling you close and kissing you. You probably would’ve kissed for much longer but the sound of a truck horn interrupted you. 
“Hey lovebirds, get in!” Engineer shouted from the truck.
Scout pulled away and blushed before getting in with you, holding your hand tight the whole time. 
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
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happeehippie · 4 months
Text
instagram j.b.
summary: follow along with joe and his WIFE evie as they go through his football career.
*face claim is yasmin quintana*
series masterlist.
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liked by bengals, joeyb_9, and 983,729 others…
evie: honeymoon avenue.
view all 4,738 comments…
user: i love you guys together!
> evie: 💗💗
user: am i the only one that doesn’t like her?
> millyg: it’s the jealousy in you.
> user: i don’t see how anyone can’t like her, she’s so nice!
user: yikes
joeyb_9: no complaints, probably the best avenue out there.
> evie: thanks for your input, i totally agree.
> millyg: gtfo you guys 🤣
joeyb_9
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liked by evie, lahjay10_, and 902,519 others
joeyb_9: we will send a post card.
view all 5,739 comments…
user: nooooo that’s two times in a row he’s posted ev
> user: they are literally married now, she’s not going anywhere.
user: in his *husband* era
user: i can’t stomach this
millyg: still mad i got left at home.
> user: i don’t like them together, im not jealous or anything something just feels off.
> user: i think that means your jealous.
evie: the views were 10/10
> joeyb_9: i was only looking at you.
> lahjay10_: 🧀🧀🧀
evie
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liked by joeyb_9, millyg, and 810,826 others
evie: some small things…🤍
view all 3,738 comments…
user: i’m SO single
user: she doesn’t have to rub it in
user: NOT THE PRETTY GIRL. ladies he is everything..
user: if he wanted to he would
millyg: not joes failed cursive attempt
> evie: it wasn’t TERRIBLE 🤣
user: being with joe burrow is this girls whole personality
joeyb_9: the prettiest pretty girl.
> evie: 😭💗
user: so when are we expecting the divorce?
user: take notes fellas
user: joe and ev being so taylor coded makes me sick
> evie: swifties are superior, even if jb likes to pretend he isn’t one.
joeyb_9
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liked by obj, evie, and 1,785,002 others
joeyb_9: had the basketball versus football convo too many times
view all 2,372 comments…
user: low key forgot you weren’t just some guy from cincinnati
> evie: THE guy from cincinnati
obj: Da boyyyyyyyy
user: tough. basketball tho
> evie: wrong answer. 😭
user: Joey B is A list now
evie: it was so nice of you to take photos with a few fans today.
> joeyb_9: 😎
> user: ev is coming for those opps
user: not him hanging with obj
user: such a weeb
evie
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liked by millyg, joeyb_9, and 1,037,927 others
evie: went to something called a white party?
view all 2,801 comments…
user: you win
user: he actually took you with him?
> evie: i actually got invited to come with him.
> user: standing on business.
user: YOU MISSED TAYLOR FOR THIS?????
> evie: marriage is about sacrifice.
joeyb_9: 🥵🥵🥵
user: this is everything
user: that joe pic is my new background thanks
> evie: charity work is my passion.
user: i keep coming back to look at this post
user: second pic sent me into cardiac arrest.
> evie: you should’ve seen it in person.
joeyb_9
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liked by bengals, lahjay10_, and 710,991 others
joeyb_9: “It’s time to go mobile.”
view all 3,729 comments…
user: YESSIR
lahjay10_: My step brother
> evie: hell yeah
user: do you want my mobile phone number
> evie: he doesn’t have a mobile phone.
> user: you are so funny mrs. burrow. 🤣💀
> user: why are you always so rude?
> user: she isn’t rude, but she’s always going to let us know that’s her man. don’t play like you wouldn’t do the same thing if random girls were coming at your bf with this kind of shit.
> user: i agree, she isn’t being rude but she’s never really let people show blatant disrespect for their relationship. even when they were in college.
tylerboyd: levels
> evie: BIG LEVELS
evie: you’re so hot. there is said it.
joeyb_9: 🪞
user: return of shiesty
user: YEAH BABYYYY
evie
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liked by bengals, lahjay10_, and 810,003 others
evie: volume 4. 🤍🧡🖤
view all 2,761 comments…
user: you’re special
user: do you ever get sick of having to pretend to be interested in football?
> evie: never pretending.
user: he needs a tall blonde that has a brain.
> evie: my masters in marketing is offended.
user: i’m so excited to see the team smash it this year!
joeyb_9: very big fan of this.
> evie: your sunnies really tie it together.
> user: not you sharing sunnies. 😭
user: i love ev truly, but im also jealous of her.
> evie: i’m not sure what to say here. 🤣💗
joeyb_9
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liked by evie, bengals, and 789,524 others
joeyb_9: Mask off.
view all 2,751 comments…
user: clothes off
> evie: the clothes will stay on. (for now) 🤪
user: Burrow is back!
user: solid W
evie: put the mask back on, i can’t think straight.
> joeyb_9: keep it on all night?
> user: i wish i could unsee this
> user: joe. please. this has to stop.
user: i’ll never quit you.
evie’s instagram stories:
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a/n: hiiii. i’m going to finish this series up in the next post so i can work on some of the other requests i have. if you guys are interested in me continuing it once the new season starts let me know and i’ll see what i can do. thanks for all the love on this, you guys rock. and as always im taking request so if you have an idea i’d love to hear it.
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